#people are always asking me 'why are you so sarcastic!!' its literally autism its because i have autism. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iconsumeheadcanons · 4 years

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persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :((( so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily ��star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff. joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

#my writing #p3 #p4 #p5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 5 #ren #futaba #souji #hamuko #minato #vibes straight thru the sun #i sincerely hope the read more works #im so srry for grammar problems #i literally cant read rn

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stars-are-just-ghosts · 3 years

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A World Full of Bullies, and the Four Kids Who Never Stop Fighting Them

This is a story about my four children and the small town they live in, a story about bullies and the people who stand up to them. Let me start by introducing the four of them. We’ll refer to them as the Sibling Mafia (this will be important later.) Each of them is as unique as the different parts of a harmony. They grew up closer than close. Best friends, siblings, confidants. They have their moments of disagreement, sibling rivalry, chaos. But there doesn’t go a day without them seeking out one another’s opinions and comfort. Theirs is a bond that can’t be replicated, or completely understood. The 17 year old, we’ll call her ‘Red,’ is the only girl in the bunch. She’s an artistic bisexual disaster (her words, not mine,) she’s riddled with equal parts anxiety and hope, and she holds her own like you wouldn’t believe (she’s surrounded by guys in her work, and out does them at every turn.) She’s five-foot-zero inches of kickass and love. And there isn’t a single person who can hold her back when she wants something. She’s had a rough several years, found herself beaten down to her most fractured level. But she fought back with every ounce of strength available to her and clawed her way back to the surface. She’s thriving. She’s scared. She’s dreaming of her future. (Her brothers have so often looked up to her, I think Red often feels like she’s surrounded by puppy dogs who would willingly battle-rush the world if it ever failed her.) The 18 year old boy, we’ll call him ‘Blue,’ has high functioning autism and social communications disorder. The world is full of lines he’s steadily trying to figure out how to cross without changing the flow he relies on. From working in the adult world, to trying to hold on to the childhood he isn’t quite ready to let go of, Blue still manages to find the space and time to be the big brother he’s always been. It’s the most important thing to him. More important than his love for just about anything else. That has always been his choice. There isn’t a single one of his siblings that he doesn’t love ferociously. And though his emotions are sometimes tumultuous, he always finds a way to make what he really feels known to those closest to him.

The 14 year old, we’ll call him ‘Purple,’ is a trans (female to male), bisexual, magnetic ray of absolute fricken sunshine. It’s impossible not to want to know more about him, to laugh with him, to share in his infectious well of joy. There isn’t a mean bone in his body, not a single inch of hatred in his DNA. From the moment he was born, he had a smile on his face. The world was his to make happy. And even though these last few years have been one hell of a confusing ride for him, he’s never stopped looking at the world around him like it’s something he wants to change for the better. The almost-11 year old, we’ll call him ‘Green,’ is a pint sized sarcastic ball of genius who doesn’t see just how important he is to the people around him. His comedy is endless, a shield to protect himself and others from the nastier things life tries to throw. He’s smarter than the average 11 year old, but refuses to jump ahead a grade or two because he ‘just wants to enjoy school.’ And though he likes to pretend that he can handle everything that comes his way, there are times when it’s easy to see how young he truly is. It’s those moments that his siblings are his anchor to an uncertain universe, the chains that keep his gravity from failing him. And they are the epitome of his best friends, his comfort, his home. Red, Blue, Purple and Green have a lot in common. From Red and Purple loving art and music, to Green and Blue loving video games, to all four loving DnD night. They love to adventure together, to share inside jokes, to create beautiful mayhem on a daily basis. They love to learn together, to forget to do their chores together, to ask the world to ‘listen, dammit’ -together. They also have trauma in common. Losses of those they loved, pains they’ve all had to feel, things a parent can’t protect them from... And there is so goddamn much I wish I could have protected them from. When Blue was in middle school, there was a boy, we’ll call him ‘Misunderstood.’ To him, Blue’s autism made him a prime target in the bullying arena. Like some other kids, Misunderstood would say mean things, call Blue names, make him momentarily feel like he would never fit into the world he so desperately wanted to be a part of. But what Misunderstood didn’t know was that Blue had a better world around him already, one that would come to save him when it counted most. One day in gym class, Blue was playing basketball with his friends. He tossed the basketball, and it didn’t quite go where Blue was expecting. It sailed at Misunderstood and hit him in the head. It didn’t matter to Misunderstood that it was an accident. All that mattered was this could be a perfect excuse for retaliation. He closed the distance on Blue and punched him in the head. He knocked him out. But in that same moment, Blue’s friends and sister ran to the rescue. They rallied around him, chased Misunderstood away. Protected their friend and brother, because they knew that was exactly what Blue would have done for them. Because Blue is the sort of person to give a stranger the shirt off his back if they really needed it. Something of which Misunderstood couldn’t see. Imagine my terror when I got a phone call from the police. It was a sobering sight to see police cars and an ambulance when I squealed into the school parking lot. There is no way to explain the feelings of helplessness and fury I was inundated with. You know, logically, that your children will break bones and get stitches and have broken hearts and nightmares and a myriad of other pains that are simply a part of life. And you also know, unfortunately, that bullies exist. You never think that anything like this can happen, until it does, however. That’s not naivete. It’s not denial. It’s the hope that the world might not just be as awful as you think it is. Knowing that world proved that hope wrong, even for a moment, makes you want to wrap your children up in your arms and never let go. But that’s not how life works. There isn’t an excuse for what Misunderstood did. But there are things to understand. I can raise my children to be good, caring, kind people. But I have no say in what happens in other children’s lives. Was Misunderstood being cared for? Did he have parents who gave a shit about him? Or was he neglected? Was he lacking the resources to explain and feel his emotions properly? Was his life hell, and he just needed someone to see? I asked myself those things, trying to understand. I even asked the other adults in charge of the situation. But because Misunderstood was a minor, I had no legal right to know. It turned out, in the end, that Misunderstood was expelled. His parents moved him to a different school district. And Blue was left with the question he always seemed to ask when another child chose him to target: ‘Why me, Mom?’

There is no why. Because, like I said, nothing excuses what happened. What I wanted him to focus on was what happened inside the event. And what happened was loyalty, love, friendship and the coming together of individuals to stand up to a bully. Now, at 18 years old and nearly six feet, Blue still has those friends. And he has the lesson they taught him, not the one that Misunderstood wanted to teach. And he doesn’t ask ‘Why me, Mom?’ anymore. He asks, ‘Why not me?’ as he now steps in when someone needs protection. Most recently, Purple, my 14 year old, has had to face bullying of his own. Purple didn’t come out till a year and a half ago, and the daily progress to being the person he wants to be has been beautiful and brilliant. But there is another boy, who we’ll call ‘Unwarranted,’ who has pulled out all the stops to make Purple feel panic, anxiety, terror. Back when covid was nearly past its first upsweep and all the schools were still closed down, Purple was desperately missing his friends. It was agreed, after a fair deal of hashing out the precautions, that he could see one of his best friends at the park. Purple hadn’t come out yet at that point, still struggling with what it would mean for all the relationships in his life. But the idea of seeing someone who he literally grew up with after being so long apart was too good for him to pass up. They met at the local park, a couple of other friends catching up with them there, and they hung out. It was supposed to be an innocent, happy time for a kid who only ever tried to make people happy. It ended in police involvement and kids being physically hurt. Unwarranted had shown up with two much older kids. But the part he played was entirely his choice as all three terrorized the younger kids, with words and with physical threats that ended with large rocks being thrown. One child was hit in the head. My child was hit in the side. Both of them ended up hurt. All while they were running to Purple’s friend’s house for safety. Unfortunately, there was so little we could do. It didn’t happen on school grounds, so the schools couldn’t be involved. The police couldn’t tell me much more other than they knew who the three bullies were, having been in trouble with the police before. And I couldn’t know anything else because they were minors. To protect my child, I couldn’t let him go to the park alone anymore. I drove him everywhere. I tried to help him forget. And over time, he did. Until the beginning of this school year. Purple started his Freshman year looking for new beginnings. He’d already firmly cemented himself in coming out, was totally authentic in who he is and who he wants to be. His friends are still his friends, completely accepting and loving him. And he tackled his first week of school with intensity and excitement. In the back of my mind, however, I had never forgotten what happened at the park. The mother in me held on to it, because I couldn’t take the risk that something worse could happen. I hadn’t been able to protect or avoid what happened to Blue. But maybe I could protect Purple. I got in contact with the new principal at the high school, explaining the situation and that I did not want Purple to be in any classes with Unwarranted. He vehemently agreed. Purple doesn’t have a single class with him. It’s worked out well. Or it did, until they passed each other in the hall. In that brief moment, when classes were changing and kids were hurrying through the halls, Unwarranted took it upon himself to pick right up where he left off. Except now, Unwarranted isn’t the same size as Purple. He’s over six feet, athletic, and knows how intimidated Purple already was by him. The result was Purple incoherent with fear. There’s a reason I have referred to all four kids together as the Sibling Mafia. Because if you hurt one of them, you hurt all of them. And there’s hell to pay. Red and Blue, who are both Seniors at the high school, heard about the incident almost immediately. (It’s a small town, so small school, and word travels fast.) They didn’t go to their next classes. They took Purple to the office instead, and demanded something be done. They wanted answers and a resolution, and they wanted it fast. I received a phone call about it all from the guidance counselor who was just gushing over the bond they all shared, and the way they’d rallied around Purple. But it wasn’t just Red and Blue who rallied. It was their friends. You see, if you’re friends with one of them, you’re friends with all of them. And in a place like this, it grows exponentially. So many people love Purple, and Red, and Blue, and Green. And it shows. The principal and counselor and school resource officer worked on a plan to keep Purple and Unwarranted from ever crossing paths. It was good. It was a start. Unfortunately, it did nothing for when the kids were walking home from school. Because Unwarranted decided to make prodding and inappropriate comments while walking behind him. Only, this time Blue and his best friend, we’ll call him ‘Orange,’ and two of Purple’s friends were there to do something about it. Because Unwarranted had a lot to say when he knew Purple was too scared to retaliate. (Red was with a friend, but was furious when she found out.) But being faced with the reality of a whole group who were more than capable of protecting Purple made him back right off. No fists were thrown. No one got hurt. And everyone made it home safely.

And Purple came to me, despite his fear and wariness, to ask... ‘What if something is wrong with Unwarranted? What if something happened at home to make him act this way? Maybe we can help...’ My response was to breathe. To stare at this kid of mine, because the compassion in those words made my heart hurt. Here was this boy who was obviously being terrorized by someone else, and all he could think about was making sure that bully was okay? I told Purple, ‘You have no idea how amazing your heart is.’ I told him, ‘I don’t know what might be going on with Unwarranted. And it’s wonderful of you to want to help. But you also have the right to be safe, whether you’re in school or walking on the streets. You have the right to have a happy learning experience without fear of being cornered in the hallways. For now, as much as I know you want to figure it all out, my priority is making sure that you are safe.’ He nodded, hugged me, and went about his day.

I read somewhere once that bullies are predators. They will go after what appears to them to be the weakest prey. Trying to stop a bully by teaching a child to stand up to them is like teaching the weakest gazelle to be stronger. The predator will not stop going after the weakest prey, it will only stop going after that target. But what if that target was never weak to begin with? Purple may not have the physical attributes of a football player or a wrestler. But he’s got something even better. He’s a wolf with a pack who would be lesser without his knowledge and love. And there’s nothing that pack wouldn’t do to protect him, just like there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make their lives better. The Sibling Mafia extends beyond blood, it seems. Now you might be wondering, where’s the almost-11 year old Green in all this? Green came into the first three’s lives when Purple was a little under three years old. At that point, they were already bonded and closer than I could have ever imagined. But the second Green’s little wiggly self came home, the change was immediate and overwhelming. Not in a bad way, not even remotely. You see, that bond transformed. It grew, it solidified, it settled into a whole new identity. It somehow made them far more whole than any of us realized they could be. Because all three older kids had lessons to teach and love to give, and with Green they could do all that together. Without any encouragement from me, because kids don’t need to be raising other kids, Green grew up being the literal center of their world. And they all loved each other more because of it. Green is just a little guy. He’s small and skinny and scrappy, full of wit and genius that often leaves the rest of us wondering where he got it from. He looks at his siblings like he wants to give them the universe. And he goes through life like he might just give it a reason to wise up to the possibility of goodness if it tries hard enough. Nothing holds him down for long. Events, losses, physical injury. He bounces back so fast that the rest of us get whiplash.

But what happens when an event causes loss and physical injury at the same time?

Just this past week, the kids were walking home from school. Red has Senior release, which allows her to get out of school early most days. So it was just Blue, Purple and Green, walking with their friend Orange. In the past, there have been bullies. Two of which I have mentioned. But some never made it to the ‘something we really have to worry about’ stage. One of these bullies, particular to Blue, decided it was time to graduate to that stage in a very dangerous way. We’ll call him, ‘Mistake.’ Because what he chose to do was a big mistake on his part. The kids had made it to just before the opening of our neighborhood. They were on the sidewalk. They’d been carefree, joking, laughing, talking, when a vehicle suddenly sped its way toward them on the road. The vehicle had a passenger and a driver: Mistake. And as Mistake accelerated, one of them threw a full bottle of Powerade out the window as hard as he could. We’re fairly certain he was aiming for Blue.

It hit Green instead. At that speed, with that much force, something as innocuous as a bottle of liquid can do real damage. It was only sheer luck that it hit Green in the leg. If it had hit him in the head, we’d all be sitting in a hospital room right now keeping vigil. That being said, Green is small. He’s skinny. The impact to his leg was enough to damage the muscles in his thigh. You can see the impact point, a literal imprint of the bottle on his skin. The bruising is very clear. The recovery will be slow. The first thing Green did was cling to Purple. Orange and Blue yelled after the car, but it had sped quickly away. The boys managed to get Green home right away. I had been working at my computer. And the next thing I knew, Green is in my arms, incoherent and in pain, crying so hard his whole body was shaking. Calling the police was an easy decision. Trying to hide my instant and unbridled rage was so much harder. The police are treating this as assault on a minor. The bottle was collected as evidence. Green was evaluated by physicians and will thankfully make a full physical recovery. But the emotional damage seems to be much worse. Green is not himself. He’s clingy, he’s worried, he’s having nightmares. He doesn’t want to walk home anymore, even knowing his brothers and Orange are there to protect him. His birthday is barely a week away, and he is trying so hard to be enthusiastic about it. But the bruise and pain in his leg keep offering reminders. The idea of leaving school grounds without one of his siblings or me makes him panic. And the light of innocence in his eyes is that much duller.

It was a senseless, useless act. One that’s rattled us all.

Blue and Purple are blaming themselves, as though they should have been able to see it coming and protect Green. Red is angry that she didn’t just wait to walk with them, as though her being there would have stopped it altogether. Their grandparents, friends, teachers, counselors, and even random people I have never heard of are all up in arms. They want someone to pay. I think Green just wants to pretend it never happened at all.

To be honest, I want Mistake to pay, too. Because it doesn’t matter who he was aiming at, this was clearly assault. Clearly intended to do harm. And I’m tired of feeling like I can’t protect my children. When did the world become so cruel? When did parents stop teaching their children that kindness is not a weakness? When will I ever feel okay with sending my children out into such an unforgiving world? I know I’m angry. In fact, I’m enraged. But... I also still have hope. Green’s birthday is steadily approaching. The kids are doing everything they can think of to make him smile again, make him laugh, prove he’s loved and, most of all, safe. They’re using their hard earned money to get him gifts, to surprise him with a puppy they’re buying themselves, to give him his normalcy back. And I’m watching them hold on to each other through it all. Like they always have. Like, I hope, that they always will. The future is coming at them quickly. Red, Blue and Orange want to get an apartment together after high school. Purple and Green have decided they want to live together forever. And they’ve all decided that they have to make time, once a week or more, to be back under one roof. We live in a small town, but they’re going to move on outside of it. Because the world outside of it is big, and they are well aware of that fact. They want to tackle it in their own way, individually and together. They want to see where this life takes them, no matter what tries to stop them. And they want to share that journey with each other, and with anyone who wants to be a part of it. I never could have predicted how close those four amazing kids would become, or how much they’ve already changed the world just by being who they are. They’re my hope, you see. In a world where anyone can be cruel, they choose to be kind. They choose to be the example by which everyone around them learns what kindness is. Misunderstood, Unwarranted, and Mistake are learning about kindness, too. Whether they realize it or not. Because in their misunderstood existence, in their unwarranted actions, in their irreversible mistakes, the kindness of the Sibling Mafia seems to be far more powerful. This is a story about a world full of bullies and the four kids who never stop fighting them. One act of love, kindness, and hope at a time...

#bullying #hope #together #siblings #the world isn't as bad as it seems #parenting #children #kindness #this is worth the read #i promise

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steven-universe-search-history · 4 years

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Hey! Im sorry if this is a trigger for you and you dont wanna answer, but I believe you mentioned that you have autism? I just wanted to ask what its like because I dont understand why autistic people have such bad reputation. Plus, im just kinda curious because people talk about supporting autistic people (of course, I do either way) but I feel kind of left out. Again, if you dont wanna answer, that's completely fine. Thanks! (And if you dont, im so fucking sorry cjwidnwj)

no you’re okay, don’t worry!! i am autistic, yeah! the thing is though, it’s not really easy to explain bc like... i don’t have anything to compare it to, y’know? i don’t know how it feels different from being neurotypical bc i’ve never been neurotypical.

part of the whole “bad representation” thing though is just because... we’re different. we’re not always great at conversation, and we stand out because of that. we’re not bad, we’re just different, but difference so often gets branded as bad and strange.

sometimes autistic people don’t really understand social cues; when people are implying things, when people are being sarcastic, when people are exaggerating, etc. i know for me, when i was younger i tended to take things a lot more literally than they were meant to be taken (i’m a little better at understanding stuff like that now though. but still not perfect)

bc i’m autistic i also tend to be accidentally rude a lot, because i struggle to understand what things are appropriate to say and what things could cause actual offence. i’m also blunt a lot of the time and stay things a lot harsher than i mean to, because i just,, don’t realise they’re harsh.

also special interests and hyperfixations!! autistic people tend to latch onto certain things and take more comfort in media/hobbies than neurotypical people. special interests and hyperfixations are two different things, though. hyperfixations are more temporary (though they can still last a really long time). they’re sort of when you discover something and it’s all you can think about for a while. it fills your mind pretty much 24/7, and you end up talking about it as much as humanly possible. i’ve had more hyperfixations than i can count but my most recent ones are she-ra, camp camp, be more chill, and lovestruck.

and then special interests!! these are more permanent. they’re something that sticks with you and mean the world to you and are just... so unbelievably comforting and incredible to talk about. they’re a part of your identity, and a part of who you are. (mine’s steven universe which,,, okay yeah is probably obvious) talking about hyperfixations is amazing but talking about special interests is,,, so fucking incredible. i could honestly talk for hours and hours about steven universe and literally never get even the slightest bit bored. (i have talked about it for hours. ...mostly to myself) and when you go on a tangent about your special interest/hyperfixation it’s called infodumping!!

and yeah, autistic representation is important just to show that... it’s okay, y’know? that yeah, we’re different, we struggle with things that a lot of people find simple, but that doesn’t make us weird or bad. we’re people, we just think and feel and see the world in a slightly different way.

that’s probably not everything i could/should explain. but although i’m autistic i haven’t done nearly as much research into it as i should have done. (it’s on my to-do list, but i’m just... shit at accomplishing things that’re on my to-do list) but!! i hope this helped

#IM SORRY IF THIS IS RLLY INCOHERENT I SUCK ASS AT EXPLAINING THINGS #steven answers

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theexistentiallyqueer · 5 years

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Sorry to bother, but where do autistic and adhd brains overlap? Because both are neurodivergent (and beautiful, I agree) But how can I find out which behaviour belongs more to me being autistic (got diagnosed this year) and which is adhd? (No Matter What Deadline, after several years in hostile environment (failed university, then call center work) I panic. Hard.) How do I disentangle adhd and autism to find out what strategies to use to function better?

Please don’t feel like you’re being a bother, because you’re not! Honestly the fact that someone is coming to me to ask ADHD questions makes me teary-eyed, because I’ve fought so hard to learn to function with ADHD that people Asking Me Things like I’m a trusted expert just makes my heart grow three sizes, the opposite of the Grinch.

I’m probably not the best person to ask about how ADHD and autism overlap specifically, especially if you’re taking this from an autistic POV. And I’m also not a behavioral expert, which is a very strong preface. But I can (and am very happy to) talk a bit about my experiences with ADHD and how I’ve learned to make things work for my brain.

I’m going to put this under a cut, if that’s okay with you, anon. It got kind of long and I don’t want to overrun anyone’s dash. And you can always, always ask me ADHD questions, and I’ll try my best to answer.

My ADHD tends to manifest specifically in the following ways:

Extreme hyperfixation that has its own varying degrees (e.g., I’m really into Fire Emblem: Three Houses, but I have so lack of interest in Byleth/Claude that my lack of interest feels like an actual void)

An inability to process feelings regarding things other people care strongly about that I don’t. If we’re using the same fandom example: I could rant forever about how Byleth/Edelgard gives me ALL THE FEELS, but if I friend I care about started to talk about Byleth/Claude, I would immediately lose all interest in the conversation and struggle to react in a way that doesn’t present me as a selfish monster who doesn’t care about the person I’m talking to.

I tend to monopolize conversation if I’m given the opportunity because I LOVE getting the chance to talk about my hyperfixations. If someone cuts me off when I’m really into a topic, I get incredibly irritated and have to try to restrain from myself from acting petty in response. The number of times I have smiled my mouth is a knife and said, “ANYWAY, as I WAS SAYING…” is beyond count.

I don’t recognize or remember people until I have something meaningful to associate them with. I also don’t tend to notice things that don’t clock themselves as Important in my brain. I usually describe this as “background furniture.” Even PEOPLE become background furniture. A girl I work with mentioned a person on her team had quit, and I’d literally walked by that person’s desk earlier that day and didn’t notice it was empty, because that person and the entire space they occupied was background scenery.

If something affects or touches me personally, it hits me Very Personally. I had a complete fucking breakdown watching the video of Philando Castille’s shooting, because I heard his daughter crying while she watched him getting shot and went down onto a spiral of personal loss over my own father to gun violence and started to immediately correlate the two. Separating ADHD brainness from my whiteness is complex and hard and (said sarcastically) so, so much fun.

The direct inverse of that are things like: I’m talking to my mom, who’s telling me about a high school friend of hers just got into a horrific vehicle accident and is in the ICU. My mom then goes on to give me regular status updates on this woman I don’t know. I get out of work, and she talks about this woman’s surgery. I get out of work, and she talks about this woman’s family’s attempt to find an adequate rehab center. They find a rehab center, and my mom shows me how her friend decorated her daughter’s room. My mom shows me a video of the girl working with a physical therapist, who gets her to push herself upright with a walker and take her tentative steps. “Awesome!” my brain thinks. “Great!” my brain thinks. All of it spans over several days, weeks, months. I have nothing to do with this constant influx of information. I don’t know how my brain should file it. I don’t know this woman who was injured. I feel for her in theory because no one should ever have to go through that even though so many people do, but I haven’t ACTIVELY PRETEND like I personally am invested in the situation or else my mother gives me Concerned Eyes because I seem to be In A Bad Mood Today.

When it comes to organization, I tend to lean towards hyper-organization rather than hypo-organization. By which I mean I over-organize to combat the fact that ADHD often results in disorganization, and disorganization results in chaos, and chaos gives me COMPLETE PANIC ATTACKS. At work at one point, I had my emails auto-tagging every incoming email based on the email type, on top of tagging for my clients. Every label had a different color, and it all made sense to me, because I’d made it. When my team had cover my stuff on a day I was out, my inbox was such a horror show that it left them feeling drained and distressed.

Let’s talk about socialization! I have a rocky relationship with my childhood best friend. When I discovered social justice in college, I started picking fights with everyone over everything Problematique. The first major fight I had with my best friend at the time was because she felt I was over-aggressive towards a mutual male friend of ours. She was probably right, because I know the kind of bullying behavior I later developed. I thought I learned from it. After the 2016 election, I messaged her on FB, thinking I had a sympathetic ear, to say that seeing her mother post constant messages of support for Trump and sharing stuff dismissing Trump’s sexual assault allegations was particularly hurtful considering I’d told my friend that my mom had been sexually assaulted.. I’m not going to share what she said, but she wasn’t in the wrong. We didn’t talk for several months after that.

Speaking of her! When she started dating the guy she’s now married to, at one point I asked her if they’d had sex yet. I asked it because I thought it was a thing you were Supposed To Talk About as friends, and also because I was, in a way, morbidly curious, because I’m grey-ace and queer. She confirmed that they had, but I still felt so icky and uncomfortable about that for so long afterwards. It was only after I started to understand that I’m not cis and not allo that I really understood why: I was forcing myself to perform what I thought female friendship was based on how it’s portrayed in media, and it��s only once I began to understand that I’m on the ace spectrum and that I’m nonbinary that I really started to understand how forced mainstream conversations of attraction are.

I’m loud! I’m loud! I’m loud! I’m loud all the time! I live with my mom and I socialize with my mom and when we’re in public spaces and I’m talking about something that interests me, she always, always, always feels like she has to shush me. What makes it ironic? If there are other people being loud around me, I can’t function. I can’t process the noise. It’s EVEN WORSE if they’re speaking in another language, because if it’s English I can process the words at least, but if it’s another language, it’s just pure, inescapable sound that I know has meaning but can’t intuit, and if I can’t understand something, that’s as bad as dying.

From what I’ve read about autism, here are ways I THINK my ADHD traits overlap with autistic traits:

I can’t read facial expressions. I think I have a better concept of emotional nuance in facial expressions than someone who’s strictly autistic, but I’ll still panic when I see a smile that isn’t bland enough. RDS (rejection-sensitive dysphoria) will kick in. They hate me, they hate me, they hate me, is the track my brain will play on repeat until I’ve drunk myself into oblivion. Whenever someone smiles, I mistrust it immediately.

Eye contact is incredibly fucking frustrating. I understand that it’s expected, but it’s SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Why do we need to stare into each other’s eyes to understand one another? How can you people write whole treatises on the sanctity of locking gazes and finding an instant intellectual bond without realizing that eye contact that’s not called for is personally invasive?

I can’t understand flirting vs not flirting to the point that I’m absolutely paranoid someone is flirting with me, at which point I usually become hostile if I think they ARE, because DON’T FLIRT WITH ME. TALK to me!

I hate, hate, hate unsolicited physical contact. If I’m in a state of over-expression, I hate it even more. I’m not physically withdrawn, because I love hugs, and cuddles, and human touch. But when I’ve spent the entire day listening to other people talk and I have to walk into a room where people continue to talk, if someone touches me, it’s fucking No-Oh-One.

Someone is interested in a thing I’m interested in. We’ll use Persona 5 as the concept, because this honestly happened recently. I talk with the guy whose desk is across from mine about Persona 5 all the time. He’s also excited about Royal. I started going into my Sophia theory that I’ve really only lobbied at @softspokensansa. I could see, I could viscerally see, the interest drain from his expression. BUT I HAVE AN IDEA SO I WILL TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY, and then afterwards I felt incredibly resentful that I was being filtered through a cookie-cutter drain.

It’s painful–it’s really painful!–to try to talk about my spiritual ideas with other people. I have a side blog I just started and am preppy myself to share, and I’m absofuckinglutely TERRIFIED everyone is going to write me off without looking at what I have to say. IT’S THE RSD AGAIN! Nothing I ever said has actually mattered before, so why should it now?

I feel, constantly, like I’m halfway between a point of reality and a point of something. What that something is is indefinable, but regardless of it, I exist.

I’d like to direct you to two very positive youtubers I know; I meant to do this earlier, but now feels right in terms of how I’ve written: How To ADHD and Amethyst Schaber.I credit both of them in helping me find a safe place with ADHD before diagnosis. There are stories other than yours that matter.

I wish you the best, anon! If you think you’re autistic and ADHD: given the comorbidity between the two, you probably are! And ADHD is just as beautiful, complicated, and misunderstood as autism is.

If anyone reading this can speak to living as both autistic and ADHD, please respond so I can lift your voice. And to my anon: you’re beautiful completely. I hope my story has helped you in its anyway, and I hope that you find yourself at a place of peace. It’s a struggle to get there, but it’s worth it, every step of the way.

#anonymous #thanks for coming to my teq talk #gaydhd

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miishae-archived · 6 years

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Copied and pasted from an old rp blog of mine, that I feel is very important to read:

Question I was asked: ❝MAY I ASK SOMETHING ABOUT AUTISM AND THE COMMUNITY? I KNOW YOU CAN ONLY SPEAK FOR YOURSELF SO I WILL KEEP IT MORE CENTERED TI YOUR PERSONAL PREFERENCES AND WHAT YOU'VE SEEN TO BE A GENERAL CONSENSUS?❞

Not very many people are aware what Autism or even Autism Spectrum Disorder is. Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of people tend to think of it as “diaper wearing, drooling idiots”

I’m going to start off by talking about my own personality first, and why it should not be outright dismissed as being ‘oversensitive’.

I am on the spectrum disorder. I’m very high functioning, as in, I am able to live on my own, with a boyfriend. I’m able to work, I’m able to walk around in society without causing a disturbance. But just because I appear ‘normal’ doesn’t mean I am.

I’m very very awkward. I get emotional and burnt out really quickly, especially in social situations. I don’t like physical contact, and I don’t like people yapping at me constantly. This is sensory overload. I get tired and cranky, and a lot of times am seen as rude for this.

This is just the tip of the iceberg for how little people understand autism. I constantly have to point it out, because even my loved ones don’t understand me. I can talk to someone over and over about not touching me or shutting up for awhile and giving me some space, and they’d just ask me a lot of questions that really don’t need answering.

I don’t talk much, and it’s not because I’m shy or introverted. I was originally diagnosed with having Nonverbal Learning Disorder, and while I don’t know if that is an outdated diagnosis or not, it aptly describes my social skills still. Link

How it relates to me personally though: I suck at social cues. I suck at maintaining eye contact, I don’t read body language well, and I tend to be brutally honest to a fault. What I think is a reasonable and fair statement can come across as rude and offensive to someone else. It was not my intention to be rude, and since people would rather be offended and passive aggressive, I don’t know how else to word things and I’m sorry, but you need to work with me and not shut down on me. How else am I going to learn how to interact with you?

I’m also incredibly literal minded. I know on tumblr it seems like I’m sarcastic and witty, and I know I crack a lot of jokes, but you would not believe the amount of times I’ve had to go to someone off tumblr and ask “what did this person mean? I don’t understand.”

It’s literally because I don’t understand you. I don’t get a lot of metaphors or jokes, and everyone else will be laughing and I’m sitting over here like “I don’t get it?” and no one wants to explain the joke because “I mean, it’s obvious!” No, it isn’t. Not to me.

I also tend to get hung up on certain things for long periods of time. I hate change in my routine. I hate changing things up because honesty: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. But as far as ‘obsessions’ go? Video games comes to mind. I could tell you all about the Borderlands series and how it’s a great game filled with fan-fucking-tastic characters and how it’s an entire world built on survival and it’s dystopian and cyberpunk and-

Or I could tell you when I was a kid and the LOTR moves first came out, I was obsessed with them. I launched into repeated lectures about how the behind-the-scenes worked, or how they did this camera trick, or why that scene was the best to film, and OH did you know Viggo Mortensen was not the original Aragorn? He was called in last minute and only came on because his son was a huge fan and pushed his dad into filming.

I know no one actually cares, but I still care. If you let me talk about something I care about, I will TALK.

This is just the personality side of autism. How ableism comes into play is very subtle. And everyone can be ableist. Friends and family who come to me asking to understand, only to say “okay cool” and forget about it ten minutes later.

I have friends who casually throw around the R-slur. I catch myself using it from time to time, and I’m desperately working to unlearn it. But that word is so heavily used by so many people, and it’s so insulting to hear it thrown around so casually. But worse than that are the people who actually use ‘autism’ as a slur.

“A guy complaining about being friendzoned? He’s autistic.”

“If you play Minecraft you’re autistic I don’t make the rules.”

First off, statements like these are annoying, because they lump a good majority of people into one category, and second off, it’s assumed that people who are autistic are drooling idiots.

There’s a reason it’s a fucking spectrum, okay? I know quite a few people who are on the spectrum, and I’ve heard of other people who are on the spectrum. Everyone has different levels of coping and living. I’m not my cousin, who does need help, because he can’t function on his own.

I’m probably worse off than someone who can hold a stable job and learn to drive and fully function, and I admit that I do need my hand held on some things.

It’s quite possible to unlearn your way of thinking. Quit throwing around slurs as insults. They’re insulting, and frankly, tired. If you want to insult someone, there are far more creative ways to do so.

But it’s not just insults that are the problem. It’s people not caring enough. It’s people who feel the need to speak over us. You don’t get to tell me what I can or can’t find insulting. Frankly, I can’t stand blanket “these words are ableist” lists, because more often than not, they’re written by neurotypicals who are trying to appear Woke™, except that they argue with actual NDs who disagree with their assessment.

Also, and this is a BIG ONE FOR ME

DO NOT ASSUME EVERYONE WITH AUTISM IS A CHILD. I am so tired of seeing mental health awareness posts right here on fucking TUMBLR, of all places, with messages for children. I am 33 years old. I’m so far from a child or even a teenager, and I feel like putting my hair in pigtails and wearing little jumpers every time I see one of these super condescending PSAs about mental health awareness or autism awareness. Adults with autism exist, please quit excluding us in your misguided efforts to raise awareness.

I do agree that it’s not my job to educate you. You can ask questions, and I can answer, but I’m not your encyclopedia source. There are tons of helpful links and websites you can go to learn more about autism, spectrum disorder, and anything else that might be linked.

That being said, don’t go the opposite direction and completely ignore its existence. By ignoring it, you’re only contributing to the rampancy that ableism is. It’s very real and very damaging. It’s big things, like me being denied food stamps in my state because they didn’t believe I was disabled and I couldn’t get proof without them wanting to assign a counselor and them wanting to thrust me into the working world anyway (which was the whole reason I mentioned I was autistic, because I need fucking help?) and little things like “You’re too sensitive, just deal with it.”

Ask questions. Look up resources. Not just for autism, but for anything related to mental health or physical health. Ableism is rampant in able-bodied people too. My brother in law is in a wheelchair and faces quite a bit of ableism himself.

All this being said, please please watch how you talk/interact with people. Much like I need to learn social cues and how to interact with you, You guys need to understand that my personality isn’t going to change. This is literally who I am, and who I always will be, so you have to be patient. You have to recognize that I’m trying, and I’m not perfect.

And most importantly of all I guess, we’re not disabled. We’re different. We think differently, and we act a little off. But we’re not bad people. Not all of us, at least. (There are people who play up the “I’m-disabled-be-nice-to-me card” and they should be held accountable for their horrible actions)

Personally, I’m trying. I’m tired, and exhausted, and lonely. I have next to nobody to rely on, and I know I have a lifetime of learning how to behave better ahead of me, and I’m just tired. but I’m still hanging in there, in the best way I know how: by being me. If I can educate myself and learn about how ableism is a problem, so can you.

#autism #ableism #personal experiences #adults with autism #actually autistic

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burningcollectionsandwich · 6 years

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could john doe be autistic? telltale batman theory

A couple of months ago, I was looking at random batman stuff when I came across “batman: the telltale series” and “batman: the enemy within”, and let me tell you, its probably one of the best games ive seen since undertale and even corpse party (corpse party is and will remain my favourite game though… unless I change my mind). I loved the story and the characters, but one of them stood out to me, and that was John Doe. Now let me be clear, I do not, and I repeat NOT class John Doe as the joker at all (unless you choose the choices in order to make him the joker), no I class John as ‘the joker, if he got rehabilitated’ or just simply as John Doe. And me being the type of person who automatically likes anything that has to do with the joker because I find his personality and the overall character incredibly interesting, when I finished watching all the john scenes (im not even kidding, I spent days watching every scene I can find with John in it), even though he doesn’t act like the joker, I loved his personality. One day when I was watching it, I noticed some key things that stood out in Johns personality, which are kind of similar to………………….and then it clicked in my brain. Could John Doe from the batman telltale series, be autistic? Now I know “John Doe” has traits or all the symptoms of antisocial personality disorder and possibly schizophrenia, but I could not help but find other symptoms to Asperger’s syndrome/autism, though this is only with john doe, not with the original joker (trust me I tried looking but he’s just the definition of antisocial personality disorder and psychopathy). I did some research and watched the batman telltale series repeatedly, and here’s the evidence I collected. Behavioural symptoms: • Often verbalizes internal thoughts that most would keep private – this isn’t shown quite often in season 1, however in season 2, John does say/shout out his thoughts depending on the situation. For example, (in season 2 episode 3) when he was asking Bruce about dating advice, and Bruce pretended to be Harley, John yelled “why won’t you love me?!” in front of everyone at a café. Another example is (in season 2 episode 1) when John yells at the man who shh’ed him in church by saying “you shh me again, you’ll be mourning the loss of your teeth!”, he did calm down and stated “that outburst, its antisocial I know”. He also yells “at least he went out with a bang right?” when talking to Tiffany about her dead father, At his funeral. Another scene is (in season 2 episode 2) when Bruce starts the car for John after struggling with it for a few minutes and he says “you are literally my hero Bruce. –I mean wow”. another quote is “Bruce is strong and smart, and handsome, I mean, super handsome, its nuts you guys, and-… where was I going with this?”. on the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when first meeting Alfred, he states “wow. The Alfred. I’ve been taken polaroid photos of Bruce for years and you’re in the background in at least a third of them”. • Appears to lack empathy – this is very clear in both season 1 and season 2, John will attack/kill or steal anything from anyone without feeling empathy towards anyone, apart from Harley and sometimes Bruce, and will laugh when seeing violence himself. Many examples of John not showing empathy to anyone is: laughing at Victor Zsasz when he’s murdering someone (season 1 episode 4), laughing when Bruce defends him from Willy by knocking him out (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Harley threatens one of Bruce’s workers (season 2 episode 2), laughing when Bruce/Batman beats up Bane (season 2 episode 4), laughing when exploding the Gotham bridge with a lot of people still on it (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he has no empathy for the people he and Harley kill with the virus. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he stabs 3 people while injuring tiffany with a joker-rang through the hand, he also throws joker-rangs at a lot of agents, which impale them, he also shows no empathy to bane when he either hits him with his car or drops a smock deck on him. • Has a difficult time interacting with peers – this is mostly shown in season 2. (in season 2 episode 2) When Bruce is inspecting John’s house or ha ha-ciesta and he looks at the beer bottles, John explains that in order to talk to Bane, he has to give him his favourite bottle of beer so Bane doesn’t tear his head off, even stating “he’s scarier than anyone I met in Arkham”. He also says to Bruce that he has a hard time talking to Harley as it is indicated in a previous statement that she loses interest quickly when talking to John, though this could be the fault of Harley, not John. John also despises the riddler because he always interrupted him when he was telling a joke “making him look like an idiot, in front of Harley and the other guys”, riddler even calling john a “white faced prick” (season 2 episode 3), though this can be seen as just a normal rivalry and not a difficult time interacting with people. • Talks excessively, especially about one specific topic – John talks a lot, and I mean a lot in season 1 and 2. He does switch topics in conversation depending on the situation but most of the time, he is either talking a lot about Harley or a lot about Bruce. The Harley topic is clear in nearly every episode of season 2, and Harley even stated to Bruce when John went to get her a slushy “he thinks the world of you” (season 2 episode 2), indicating that he talks about Bruce to the pact a lot. John does talk about Batman to but not as often. He mostly talks about how he’s best friends with Bruce, constantly saying “we’re two threads in the same stitch”. • Frequently has one-sided conversations – John shows this (in season 2 episode 4) when Bruce finds him surrounded by corpses he had murdered, and when Bruce disagrees with John on if he should trust John or not, John will yell “you’re supposed to be on my side!”. He will also say “it’s been hard knowing that you haven’t been straight with me, Bruce”, even though John has his own secrets that he hasn’t shared with Bruce, and Bruce knows this. He also says “You steered me wrong, at every turn” to Bruce when Harley abandons him (season 2 episode 4). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john blames Bruce entirely for making him become the joker after Bruce didn’t believe him about the murdered agents. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john claims “I believed in you, batman. like I never believed in anything, and it was all a lie!”, and when batman wants Waller to leave Gotham, john goes against that idea shouting “this is so very disappointing. You’re a hypocrite! Your letting her off the hook, because of what? Because she has a badge?!”, john also believes that Bruce/batman is becoming or is very similar to Waller near the end of the episode. • Is unable to understand societal norms – this is shown in season 2 on many scenes. The main examples of this are: John talking very loudly and saying inappropriate comments in church (season 2 episode 1), and John believing that girls like men who are desperate (season 2 episode 3). Another scene is when he takes selfies during a funeral (season 2 episode 1). He also does a pinkie swear with Bruce in the middle of a pub, even though he is an adult (season 2 episode 2). John also believes that his green hair is ‘natural’ due to him not remembering his hair colour before it turned green (season 2 episode 3). • Does not understand the concept of personal space – this is not very shown as John keeps his distance when he’s around people, but the times that this has happened is when he randomly hugs Bruce after Bruce chooses to believe him about the murdered agents (season 2 episode 4) or when he takes selfies with someone, he raps his arm around their shoulders and takes a photo (as seen in multiple photos on his wall, he even does it too batman). Sometimes when john is speaking to someone, he would sometimes inch closer to them but that is not much of an issue, until he leans his head forward while he’s talking, which causes the person he talking to, to move back slightly. Other times include: grabbing Bruce’s arm in the church (in season 2 episode 1), grabbing batman by the shoulders after john gave him the laptop and/or teaching john how to throw a batarang (in season 2 episode 3), punching Bruce (multiple times in different episodes), and even carrying batman in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), when interrogating Waller, he gets really close to her face in order to make her talk, which still doesn’t work. • Flat tone / speaking style that lacks pitch – john’s voice has a bit of a lack of pitch when he’s speaking to anyone, though this could change depending on what mood he’s in. multiple times in the game, it shows that john sometimes mimics another person’s voice, in season 1 episode 4: he puts on a high pitched voice (presumably a woman’s voice) saying “ahh ohh someone save my baby”, he also put on a deep voice (presumably mimicking Harvey dents voice) saying “I’m going to find your drugs”. In season 2: he puts on a deep voice (presumably mimicking batman) saying “just get it john” (episode 2), also in the vigilante ending (episode 5), he puts on a deep voice again (mimicking child Bruce) saying “no Alfred, I am the knight”. John also alters his voice when he’s being sarcastic, for example (in season 2 episode 4) when john is upset with Bruce and says in a weird voice “just manipulate her john/just be yourself john”, or he’s in an awkward moment for example (in season 2 episode 3) if you take too long to take the laptop of john, he pulls a confused face and says “you did want this didn’t you?, I’ll just leave this rrrriiiigggghhhhttttt here” while putting the laptop in batman’s hand, then finishing the sentence with a very high pitched “K”. Physical symptoms: • Unusual body postures, gestures and facial expressions – John has rather bad posture when sitting and/or standing, as his back is always hunched. For facial expressions, the main facial expressions that John portrays is the very wide and toothy smile/grin, a frown, a shocked face, and one that’s I’ve been noticing a lot, the confused/thinking face (the best scene to see this facial expression clearly is when John says to Bruce that he thinks he’s fallen in love, and Bruce asks “are you in love with me?”, John pulls that face soon after the comment (season 2 episode 4)). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), whenever he’s been insulted or when he first walks into Wayne enterprises, he always smirks, which hasn’t been seen in the previous chapters before. • may perform repetitive movements, such as hand or finger flapping, or rocking back and forth – mainly during season 2, when John is either happy and excited/grateful, he will always interlock his hands while crouching a little bit. He does clap in season 1 and in season 2 but this only happens when he’s presumably excited (he does this when he first meets Batman (season 1 episode 5), he does this when Harley comes back and says she’s going to be the new management instead of Bane (season 2 episode 3), and he does this again when he is in the elevator going to the secret lab (season 2 episode 4), he also claps his hands when he first meets Alfred in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5)). Another repetitive movement that John does, mainly while talking, is finger pointing, this can be seen whenever John is talking to anyone, but mainly towards Bruce and sometimes Harley. In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john repeated puts his hands/fists/knuckles on his hips, though this could be john thinking that he’s a super hero. • Apparent insensitivity to pain – many examples of this are shown in season 2: John gets shoved by Catwoman and is knocked on the floor, He doesn’t react (season 2 episode 3). John gets a black eye from Harley, we are not sure what his reaction was there but he doesn’t seem fazed by it when Bruce arrives (season 2 episode 4). He gets punched in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t react (season 2 episode 4). He gets slapped in the face by Bruce and he doesn’t really react, though seeming a little surprised (season 2 episode 4). He gets tazor-ed by Tiffany, he does fall to the floor but soon after he just stands back up coughing and laughing (season 2 episode 2). In the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets picked up by his neck and thrown to the floor by bane and he laughs (while saying “ow, god”), he gets shot in the shoulder by the agency (he does show pain as he crouches on the floor while bleeding, but minutes later, he stands up and laughs), he gets punched, electrocuted and gets his face hit off a railing multiple time and he just laughs, he also gets a batarang through the hand and a couple of minutes after either getting head butted or electrocuted, he just sits there as if it’s not in his hand (which is pinned to the table). On the villain ending (season 2 episode 5): he gets stabbed multiple times and he laughs, he gets kicked and punched repeatedly and he laughs, true he does go into cardiac arrest but when he gets out of it he just lies there giggling and talking to Bruce. • Poor handwriting skills – this is only seen a couple of times, but johns hand writing is the kind of writing that looks messy, but readable. For example, (in season 2 episode 1) when Bruce opened the card john gave to him, john wrote his name into the card, and the writing looks a little bit messy. His writing is also shown (in season 2 episode 5) on the villain ending on the various cards, the side of a van and on the tombstones, still messy but readable. Cognitive symptoms: • Lack of social skills – though this may be caused by an unknown amount of time locked in Arkham asylum, John has a notorious lack of social skills, though in this case he does talk to a lot of people, he just doesn’t know how. The main examples are all the things he says when he’s in the church (season 2 episode 1), and when he tries to convince Harley that he is the only man to do the job, which lead to him getting a time out by Harley (season 2 episode 3). • May have one or a few very select interests that one is extremely knowledgeable about – even though being a rather smart character, John knows a lot of information about different things, but the main things he is extremely knowledgeable about is the Vikki Vale’s drugs, Bruce (even detecting that he’s Batman) saying “you forget, I know you. The real you. Always hiding behind some kind of mask. Playboy, business man, criminal….bat. you can’t fool a friend, someone who really takes the time to look” (season 2 episode 4), and Harley, stating “let me talk to her, I know her better than anyone” (season 2 episode 4). • may engage in violent outbursts, self-injurious behaviours, tantrums or meltdowns – this is very clear in season 1 and 2. For violent outbursts: John beats up 2 guys knocking them out (season 1 episode 4), he cuts Zsasz’s face with a knife (season 1 episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze with a batarang/gun/sharp pole (season 2 episode 4), he hits an officer over the head with a crowbar (season 2 episode 3), he tries to punch Bruce when he disagrees with him (season 2 episode 4), he murdered a bunch of cops/agents (season 2 episode 4), he explodes the bridge (season 2 episode 4). On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john snaps and ends up stabbed three agents to death. For self-injurious: if in an angry mood, John will repeatedly hit his head off any hard surface (the church chair (season 2 episode 1) or the elevator wall (season 2 episode 2)). For tantrums or meltdowns: the bridge scene and the fun house scene can be seen as a meltdown but more of an outburst of violence, he lashes out at a man in church after Bruce rejects his offer (stating his has a hard time dealing with rejection (season 2 episode 2)), etc. • Inappropriate laughing or giggling – this is shown a lot in season 1 and season 2. When John is talking (apart from some situations), he will automatically start laughing or giggling, but he has stated (in season 2 episode 4) that he laughs when he’s nervous, though we are not sure if this is a lie or not. All throughout the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), he is constantly laughing. On the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), he also randomly laughs or giggles when he’s talking to someone or himself. • No real fears of danger – this is shown in season 1 and mostly in season 2. In season 1: he cuts Zsasz’s face even though he knows he has outbursts of violence (episode 4), John is unfazed when there is a riot going on in front of him in Arkham asylum while workers and patients are getting killed all around him (episode 5). He randomly drinks a drink when he’s threatened by a cop with a gun pointed at him (episode 5). In season 2: he starts laughing when he’s threatened by Willy with a knife pointed at him (episode 2), he doesn’t seem fazed when Tiffany points a tazor gun at him or when he gets shot with the tazor gun for that matter (episode 2), he runs into the lower floor of Riddler’s hide out (out of curiosity) even while knowing the place is a death trap (episode 3), he jumps onto a roof ledge just to stand with Batman (episode 3), he stands there smiling when the secret lab was about to insinuate them (episode 4), he looks around the corner when a machine gun was firing at them (episode 4), he hits Bane/Mr Freeze (possibly the strongest people out of the pact) with a gun/pole/batarang when Bane/Mr Freeze tries to kill Bruce (episode 4), he blows up the bridge even though he is still on it (episode 4), he leans and falls off the ledge of the bridge backwards (episode 4). On the villain ending (episode 5), john is unfazed by Bruce/batman threatening him, or when he fights him. On the vigilante ending (episode 5), john (and batman) fight bane who was the strongest in the pact. • may “day dream” or “zone out” when overstimulated – the best example to show of this symptom is on the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), when john asks batman what he thinks Harley would do if she found out about him giving the map to Jim Gordon, whatever batman answers with, john turns around and seems to zone out asking “what do you think that means, Dr Leland?” and answers with “uhh it makes me feel uncomfortable when you put it that way Dr Leland”. Psychosocial Symptoms: • Social isolation – he was in Arkham asylum for an unknown period of time (Dr Leland stated “John has been with us for quite some time”) (season 1 episode 4) • Lowered self-confidence – during the interrogation scene (in season 2 episode 3), John says that he did try to stick up for Bruce (“internally”) but said “I’m sorry, I’m not as strong as you” • Difficulties with social interactions – as stated before, John struggles to start a conversation with the likes of Bane and Harley (though this could be the fault of Bane and Harley) • Depression – after being punched and left by Harley, John enters a stage of depression while drinking an unknown amount of alcohol (from what I can see, I would say that he drank at least six bottles of beer), he also shouts comments like “I don’t want to do this anymore, not for you, not for her, certainly not for Gotham. I don’t care!”, “I’m John Doe, the lonely hearts club”, “you’ve got some real nerve you know that, buddy. Remember at the café (just be yourself John/just manipulate her John), then I stuck my neck out for you, way out! Bane nearly ripped my head off. And for what? Her flew the cope, and I have nothing. You steered me wrong, at every turn” and “I don’t want to find her. My heart can take another kicking. I don’t ever want to see her again, she ruined me, I-I can’t.” (season 2 episode 4) • Moodiness – John does have a lot of mood swings and outbursts of anger as stated in the previous symptoms, this mainly happens when someone rejects him or disagrees with him. • Troubled romantic relationships – in the villain ending (season 2 episode 5), john and Harley’s relationship seems to be a pretty stable one, until Harley finds out that john gave away the map or john stops Harley from killing Bruce, then she proceeds to try and strangle john while saying “I’ll kill you”. John also runs away leaving Harley behind with Bruce (batman) and Selina (cat woman), while Harley says “I’ll kill him” again. • Lowered self-esteem – (in season 2 episode 3), when Bruce asks why john has green hair, john aggressively said “I don’t know what’s with your black hair?” and then states “I’m sorry buddy I’m a little sensitive about my style”. Harley also states (in season 2 episode 4) “keep it with ya brucie, I can’t afford any more mishaps” while looking at john, who looks down with a sad looking face. • Feelings of being “unlike” his or her peers – in the vigilante ending (season 2 episode 5), john believes that he’s a hero above all else, apart from batman (at times). For example, when Waller says “think whatever you want, you will never be a hero”, john becomes extremely angry and shouts back “How. Dare. You. Your worse than me! That makes me the hero! And this is what hero’s do to Gotham!” The symptoms I don’t think he has is: behavioural symptoms: • Lack of interpersonal relationship skills and instincts • Inability to express one’s own feelings • May not make eye contact or may stare at others • Not pick up on social cues and may lack inborn social skills, such as being able to read others' body language, start or maintain a conversation, and take turns talking • Have a formal style of speaking that is advanced for his or her age. For example, the child may use the word "beckon" instead of "call" or the word "return" instead of "come back." • may be extremely literal or have difficulty understanding the nuances of language, despite having a good vocabulary physical symptoms: • Heightened sensitivity and overstimulation to loud noises, bright lights, unusual textures, or strong tastes • Poor coordination • Clumsiness • Poor fine motor skills • Difficulties using gross motor skills Cognitive symptoms: • Difficulties with changes or upsets in routine • Difficulties picking up on the subtle changes in tone, pitch, and voice that accompany regular conversation • May be unable to understand sarcasm or jokes • Poor organizational skills • difficulty making friends of the same age, children with AS may feel more comfortable with adults or much younger children psychological symptoms: • Difficulty making and keeping friends • Challenges in finding and maintaining steady employment • Anxiety • Tendency toward shyness

Of course I am not a doctor, I can’t diagnose this, but there was a lot of evidence so I decided to check it out, and no I’m not saying that john is autistic just because I’m autistic, that’s just weird and very very low. If anyone finds anymore evidence or any other symptoms, let me know and I will add/edit it. (also, I am not too sure if some of these symptoms are in the correct categories (cognitive, behavioural, etc) if they are, please do not hesitate to tell me and I will correct it). This post is not making fun of autism or any mental disorders, this is just a theory that I created to see if it was correct or not (I would never make fun of any mental disorder) comment down below if you agree or disagree with me my laugh sounds really similar to johns/jokers laugh and I don't know whether to find that amusing or worrying Well that’s it from me bye

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