#adults with autism

[evangelifloss]

Thinking about a certain scene in Dungeon Meshi that completely encapsulates the Autistic experience of making friends as an adult and how hard it is to try and navigate it without ending up getting hurt.

Like IDK about y'all, but this is a common problem ALOT of Autistic Adults face when trying to make friends with other people, because unlike children who aren't good at keeping their opinions to themselves, Adults ARE. In society, we're even encouraged to "keep the peace" "be polite" and etc, which commonly leads to awful scenarios as shown above when Laois finds out his buddy has come to resent who Laois is without actually telling him. All too often the friends that we love to hang out with, people that we're so happy to spend time with, don't feel the same way and in many cases, come to blame us for our social cues or lack thereof.

And when/if we do eventually find out how our friend feels, Dungeon Meshi hits us with another painful panel of how that usually ends up playing out.

It's hard for Adults with Autism to make friends, and even harder to maintain them because alot of the ways Neurotypicals tell other Neurotypicals that they don't like a certain behavior is by quietly disengaging. Whether that involves having one sentence answers, going quiet, or having a certain tone in their voice, all those things signal annoyance or disapproval, but for the Neurodivergents, those subtle cues are completely missed.

And yet when we inevitably discover we DID do something, it is natural to ask "well why didn't you tell me?" because in our minds, it should've been the next step in the equation. However for the Neurotypicals, that's NOT something to bring up. Its important to be SUBTLE about the issue at hand and rely on signals to tell the other person. Blame is placed on us for not noticing the "obvious" signs of disapproval rather than the idea of talking it out as such things are uncomfortable and harder to do. Alot of the time what ends up happening is resentment due to the idea that it was "obvious" and the fact one didn't notice indicates a deliberate ignorance rather than a complete unawareness. It ends up calling into question our quality as a person and our sincerity. We get called "fake" or "malicious" or even "stupid" for failing social cues rather than questioning the decision to be indirect and vague.

For a manga about exploring the dungeon, it seems that the artist would rather explore very real and prevalent dynamics in society with the adventuring premise as a backdrop. I felt VERY seen in these panels, and many others, because it happens so suddenly and dare I say it, plainly. There's no dramatic build-up or spectacle made and in essence, it just Happens.

I think that's what makes the scene hit even harder. It seemingly comes out of nowhere for Laois, like how it always comes out of nowhere for alot of people, and it's never a dramatic twist either. It's always mundane and hurtful. A sudden unforeseen bump in the road that ends up calling into question one's entire friendship with someone and consequent other friendships. It asks "what if other friends feel the same. What if the people that I really like actually hate me and I don't know it?" Or at least that's what I came away with after reading the chapter. I've been where Laois was and the only reason I'm not there now is because I lost the naivete I had and doubt everyone else's sincerity.

[drakkensystem]

Hey, pro tip for allies of marginalized groups(any kind of marginalized group, queer, disability, race- anything)

If someone is describing how they had a sucky experience bc of whatever marginalized group they're a part of- that is not the time to say something like "oh I've never had that problem!" Or "this solution always fixed it for me!"

Maybe your intentions are good. Like, genuinely trying to help.

But what comes across is; I, as an ally, know more about this problem that you, the marginalized person, have experienced.

Or maybe your intentions were more

"I will feel good after helping this poor marginalized person, which should be easy, bc that problem never was a big deal for me!"

than you consciously realized.

PS one thing all allies ought to educate themselves on is which problems are the kind of problems where it's best to offer sympathy and a listening ear, and move on, versus which ones you can use your privilege to help with. There's a difference between venting about a problem vs actually seeking help and support.

[bodymodificationnation]

Good VS Bad Autism Tattoos

Many people in the autistic community view the puzzle piece as a hate symbol because it implies we're not whole people. We're missing pieces and we're problems that need to be solved. Which is why a lot of us gravitate towards the infinity sign instead! It comes in both rainbow (for neurodiversity) and gold! As the chemical symbol for gold is Au.

[eeveeas123]

Some people might ask me if my autism service dog (Eevee) has alerted to other people either at home or in public. The answer is yes, though she’s focused on me, there’s the odd time where a kid starts crying or someone else is showing more obvious anxiety signs. I do tell her to “leave it” in public (And like a proper service dog, she does!) but at home, she tries the same strategies she uses on my anxiety, on the person (Licking, snuggling, etc.). Eevee is really sweet! Actually some time ago, she turned her head to a child who started crying, then she looked at me as if she was trying to ask me “What do I do? Do you want me to help them?” She stayed in place and left the kid because I told her to

Dogs are outstanding for the many roles they take on and we should always love them for that!🐾❤️

[lisascr3ature]

god made his strongest soldiers autistic only children of narcissistic parents

[look-at-that-right-there]

My granddad went to get a dementia assessment and came back with autism. Lmao, had a good run. 75 years hide the 'tism all time family champion.

[fr3nchtoastcrunch]

A few days ago, I attended my sister's baby shower.

The main attraction was the "Don't Say 'Baby'" game. Basically, you wear a necklace and if someone catches you using the word, you forfeit it to them. Whoever has the most necklaces wins.

At least, that's how it normally goes. My mom decided that it would be better to play it in a sudden death manner: If you said the word, you were out, period. And it would continue until one person is left.

My mom made the mistake wise decision of including me in it, despite the fact that I had headphones on full blast because...people. I didn't protest, deciding that I would do what I always do. "Oh, you have not to say that word? What if I just don't say any words?"

That was my immediate thought, and I stuck to it. Surprisingly, nobody else lasted even an hour before slipping up. My aunt, believing that she had won, loudly declared that she had won the baby shower.

She took her necklace off, and at that moment my dad looked at me and realized I was still in. Everyone else, including my mom, totally forgot that I was in and realized that I pretty much hadn't said anything since the game started.

I won the prize, and the new challenge became to make me say the word. So, I decided to humor them. I started talking a lot more, but whenever they tried to bait me into saying the word, I would use a different word. I started off saying "child" and "newborn," before getting a bit creative with things like "The upcoming female homosapien" and "The only instance where 1+1=3", among other things.

I exasperated my whole family with this and they just gave up.

[judge-tenderly]

i can not say this loud enough. “oh what was i thinking of? can’t remember. eh, must not have been that important” DOES NOT WORK IF YOU HAVE ADHD. I ONCE FORGOT THAT I HAD TURNED THE FIRE ALARM OFF BEFORE DEALING WITH THE FIRE BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING MY SENSORY ISSUES GO INSANE. THEN I FORGOT ABOUT THE FIRE.

[my-chemical-cas]

hello fellow autistic people i have a question-

do you occasionally walk around your home blind? and by this i mean do you close your eyes and walk around as if you were blind because seeing is just Too Much™️ at the moment?

i ask this because i regularly shower, get a drink, or go back and forth between my room and the bathroom completely blind. it’s just nice. it’s better when it’s dark too, so you don’t see the light behind your eyes

[faedens]

hi guys. I just received an autism diagnosis at the age of 27. I was wondering if anyone had any online resources or communities for adults with autism. Please let me know in the replies, I'd greatly appreciate it!

[littlestbabywitch]

So I wanted to hop on here and get some other peoples experiences with drugs and things and being autistic. Im self dx, and officially diagnosed for ADHD (inattentive) when I was a child. I've been on stimulants for the majority of my life and feel like it messed with my brain chemistry a lot (but I digress). Addiction also runs in my family.

I've been vaping for probably 6 years now. I've stopped before but I'm currently doing it again. I feel like it's more of a stim for me. Something about taking in the smoke and then watching it come out is nice to me. I've also struggled with alcohol in the past, and I've currently been using 🍃🍃 a lot more lately.

Im not necessarily looking for advice, just fellow neurodiverse people to relate with.

[ondaspectrum93]

Do you have a diagnosis of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) & love to paint/draw/sketch/collage/sculpt/collect various visually pleasing objects/create online visual media/mixed media/sing/dance/write/participate in any medium of creative expression as a means to communicate as a person with an intellectual disability? WELL I DO & YOU WILL DEFINITELY ENJOY IT AS MUCH AS I DO FOR I AM LEARNING TO BE PROUD OF THE BEAUTIFUL CREATIONS, CONTENT, PHOTOGRAPHY & THE PROCESS OF REPETITIONS INVOLVED IN MY TRANSFORMATIONS FROM RAW PAPER OR BLANK PIXEL SLATES TO WHICH I AMPLIFY THE BEST SENSATIONS OF COMPLETING THE SELF STARTED AND CHOSEN TASKS TO WHICH I COMPILE AND SHARE WITH MY STRANGERS WHO STUMBLE ACCORDINGLY TO MY TAGS ACROSS MY PAGE. I want to discover other humans, specifically people above the age of 18 who are either intellectually or learning disabled or co-morbid the way I am, at this point in their life, I’d love to hear about their experiences & struggles & random thoughts that pop to mind as shared along with their own thoughts about how they relate to each other’s creations… what circumstances led to this artwork being made & published & what is your name/handle/identity in your own words as the artist? I’m hoping for this page to be a place to make friends, especially even if you don’t create any art or writing or videography for yourself by yourself just yet, but plan on doing so in the first opportunity coming up with something inspiring you to go ahead and bite the bullet & stop letting people/places/things/because/but/fear driven overwhelming thoughts setting fear inside & preventing the accessible pathway from dipping your toes in the water & making a mess of mistakes bc they are so much more important to make than it is to be practiced in perfectionism’s which nobody succeeds at in this universe with or without the idiosyncrasies known to our community! This is a judgemental free space which has been made possible by the low functioning highly sensitive empath named Jacqueline Mae Gutwilik who has been going through worst heartbreak of her life post missed miscarriage12/22 & subsequent trauma caustic to her husband who is afflicted with opioid & crystal meth addiction which is now the scariest thing she is grieving on a daily basis for the past two years now (when she noticed his soul was not compatible with hers any longer for she started slowly catching up to the social cues, anxiety and pressure driven by her partner to make decisions about life that were harmful to her poor health problems in retrospect causing her Wilson Disease to deteriorate & displacing her from her comfort zone/stability by moving back to her childhood abuse/abandonment home & wound up w/o anyone b/c she had been living in an isolated domestic abusive cycle for 7 years before aware of it & her environment is NOT safe STILL to date; No matter how much she is a positive helpful, healthy, supportive to others around her, she cannot seem to make any progress or difference in her own life as per she is broken from her entire life lived trusting in the monsters who took/take advantage of her [as they victim shame her & cry wolf & dictate her life by making false reports to the police against her to try & control her or make her forced into homelessness] so she has no choice but to make her own artwork as she is doing the best she can to cope with the tremor from Wilson Disease symptoms that truly makes her feel unable to tolerate living alone in suffering while being unable to be as productive or professional or socially responsible for her own needs because she has changed exponentially from her trauma & ptsd & day to day problems that she cannot control anyone but herself & do her best to make better choices, which involves creating as much mixed/multi media prompts & writing snippets for sparking ideas for other people to join in & share their projects & play along with me, as well as hopefully find comrades with similar experiences in life through the process of learning w/their ASD diagnosis as transitioning from childhood to adulthood).

[glutenfreed-ick]

Man all this time i didn't know i was autistic when I've been using this site for the past 10 years. No wonder like 90% of the people i follow are neurodivergent, and all the stuff they post makes sense/is relatable, and like, the amount of times they reblogged something about the neurodivergent spectrum and I thought "c'mon, these must be exaggerated, i do like all of this stuff too but im not neurodivergent" without the thought crossing my mind that i too might be on the spectrum

No wonder we've stayed here through all this time, we don't like changes lmao

[eeveeas123]

Unpopular Opinion: I love when people say nice things about my autism service dog, this includes asking about how she helps me! I know most handlers don’t want to talk about their dogs frequently because they want peace in public places. I get that. I just love hearing people say “You’re a great team!”, “She’s so beautiful!”, etc. I don’t want people to pet her or talk directly to her but I feel like it’s a social bridge between me and a nice conversation! Social practice is good for me too.

Eevee also helps by: Giving deep pressure, licking my hands when I’m anxious, keeping me safe while I’m out!

[lisascr3ature]

can someone give me the cheat code for making substantial income and buying a house and living independently as a low energy autistic girlie who is crippled by social anxiety, sensory issues in the NT world and dyscalculia that makes cashiering and NT cosplaying in retail/fast food intolerable?

[adult-female-with-aspergers]

Untrustworthiness

So I was recommend someone to friend on FB that had apparently unfriended me. I didn't know he unfriended me and this was how I found out. I don't know what I did, we were FB friends for 8 years. Then I went through my friends list and looked at the profiles of people I went to grad school with. Apparently a lot of people have blocked me from their page. As in they have been making posts but I'm not seeing them; also meaning they have block themselves from seeing my posts. Even someone who I liked enough to marry now only says happy birthday to me on FB. I'm convinced you can't trust anyone outside your parents. They are the only ones who have stood by me. Literally everyone else has let me down.

I seem to get along with people, at least I think I do, when I'm talking to them one on one but then when I'm gone it like people try to get away from me. I even remember 2 people I worked with in 2011. I asked if we could be FB friend before I moved and they both said yes. I sent them friend request and neither accepted.

I don't understand what makes me to unlikeable.