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#people in the studio don't know how to feel about that
34saveme34 · 16 hours
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FINALLY HERE!!!
Imperfect Integrity 3/5 for Ties AU (check out my fic tag to see the others if you didn't catch up yet!)
this is quite marware fic
some silly warnings: self harm, blood, emotional so fucking emotional, gay, there's gay sex mentions (NOT CLICKBAIT), 4 being an asshole
20k words, so far the longest thing I had ever written, if I keep this up, which I'll probably will, the Ties AU at the end might turn out to be like, 100k words overall or so but that's just an estimate
also as an aside, for the next part you will need to watch Meta runners to understand the stuff in it, otherwise it won't make sense. so if like you want to watch in like. Idk when I'll be able to write AND finish it but it'll probably take a while until I get there.
now when I don't feel exhausted, I'll start working on the Magical AU ep 1 and probably like try to remember worldbuilding stuff I forgot to write down like an idiot
anyways, enjoy!
It had been a while since Mr Puzzles was cleared of the dredged piece. It really cleared his mind, even more overtime. Although, with no money, he didn’t quite know what to do. As he walked around the city, trying to jog his mind, to give him something to work with, he spotted one of his rivals. Or well…. to him more of an ex rival. They locked eyes, Puzzles wasn’t sure how they were feeling. Staring at him with such a mysterious expression, veiled by maybe his still foggy mind or he just forgot how to understand people.
“Puzzles…?” he could hear them speak. Puzzles suddenly straightened himself up as he was caught off guard. Maybe he even stared, how embarrassing!
“Y-.. Yes! It is… I…” he chuckled awkwardly.
“You’re… not here to scheme again, are you?”
“Hm? Oh… I kind of stopped that. Especially with my old studio smashed to the ground” he might’ve sounded a bit too devastated, something he didn’t mean to be in front of someone like this, someone who knew what he was before way too well and felt it on their skin. Even if they never exactly fully met face to face, especially not in such a casual way as now.
“Yeah, I’ve heard about it! I didn’t want to believe it. I mean, someone like you, losing your… your…”
“My everything? Yes, indeed… Is that all you want?”
“Uhm… I don’t know. I never quite got close to talking to you. You were always so…intimidating”
“Yeah I- I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t quite myself, to say the least”
They looked at him shocked.
“You- You’re saying sorry? Huh… You really changed.”
“For the better I think” Puzzles smiled fondly, one man crossing his mind.
“Heh… Well, I’m sure. So, what will you do now?”
“Well, I kind of don’t have anywhere to go and I’m out of a job”
They didn’t reply for a while, seemingly thinking something over.
“Hey… c’mere, maybe I can offer you something good”
“Oh? Sure” Puzzles took a seat in front of them.
Only now did he fully get a good look at them. They were in a white sundress, had green eyes and gray long hair, let loose draping their face a bit, one of their eyes barely visible. He was kind of used to seeing them in suits and other formal clothing from pictures so it was an interesting change. He really needed that sort of casual vibe right now.
“So… You may have been a boss before but… what do you say to working for me? I know you’re qualified so we don’t even have to bother with that nonsense” they smiled. They were serious about their offer. If Puzzles still had a jaw, it would’ve dropped. He still clearly looked shocked though.
“What? You’re a great catch when it comes to this industry. It’s even YOU doing me a favour. And don’t worry, I’d pay you accordingly too, you can name your price”
“Well… I’d like it if it was fair to the others as well. I don’t want to be paid that much more compared to other workers”
“So a little bit more?”
“Sure but- what position do you have?”
“Oh just- whatever”
“...Whatever?”
“Whatever you can take when you come to it”
“So… An… Everchanging position?”
“Well… considering you’re really skilled in all fields of movie making, I feel I would stifle your potential if I forced you into a single position”
“You flatter me”
They laughed.
“You earned it, Mr Puzzles. Even though you were a vindictive… ahem asshole, it’s hard to deny that you always were an extremely talented person”
“Hm… heh” he chuckled “Well, sure, I’ll take it. Let’s just make it official at some point” Puzzles added almost awkwardly. The offer did find him pretty suddenly so he might have rushed into it. Then again, he didn’t see anything bad to it. Though it’ll definitely make headlines that he’s working for a rival of his. There will probably be rumors about it. He didn’t care though, since he would still get to do what he always loved doing.
Just as his now soon to be boss was handing him a business card, he heard wild yelling. Not just any yelling, it was his name being yelled. And it was rapidly getting closer. As he turned to the source of the noise, said source tackled him.
“Mario needs you!!” Mario yelled, as the source of the sudden noise as he was sort of straddling Puzzles with how he knocked him over.
“Uhm…?” his soon to be boss looked over at the 2 and thought for a bit. Then they laughed “Well, alright, here” they gave him their business card “Just call me when you’re not busy being tackled by men” they winked then left. 
Puzzles felt a little hot as he got up, then ripped Mario off of himself as well, considering how he was latched onto him. Puzzles, being tackled by men? No! That never happened before. Mario tackling him down was an exception. And it didn’t mean anything more than that. He just… needed him for whatever reason.
“Mario needs you!!!” Mario repeated himself, looking up at Puzzles with his big blue eyes. God, maybe he will do whatever he wants! Who said that.
“What do you need me for?” he sighed, giving in, asking him as he crouched down to his level. 
“For research. For SMG1 and SMG2”
“Uhuuuh. And why exactly?”
“Our link.” Mario said as if Puzzles was already well versed in Cosmology lore.
“Our what now?”
“The thing I did for you to not die. Though it was on accident… Mario will do lotta accidents but he didn’t think he could do such a big one!”
Mario almost looked proud of himself.
“Hm… Well” Puzzles smiled at Mario, with such a disgustingly sweet smile, it couldn’t be more genuine “I’m glad you did, you really saved me. I would still be lost if it wasn’t for you”
Mario seemed to be lost looking at Puzzles’s screen. Almost as if he froze. It took a good few seconds for him to respond.
“S… So!! Mario needs you!! Right now!!” Mario picked up Puzzles and started running with him at a speed Puzzles didn’t think was possible for the avatar to achieve. He… truly had some wonderful tricks up his sleeves. And didn’t it just make him more endearing? Who said that. 
Mario ran with him to 1 and 2’s place, not stopping even for a moment before getting there. Almost like he was doing everything in himself to focus only on going and nothing else around him. 
They arrived and Mario quickly dropped Puzzles down once he entered 1 and 2’s home.
“There you 2 are!” 2 cheered.
“So, we can start, yes?” 1 chimed in too.
“What will this be for anyways?” Puzzles asked, still sort of confused with the situation.
“You see, Mr Puzzles, what you have with Mario is really special.”
Puzzles tried very hard to not interpret that in a different way than it was meant to. No way anyways! Mario was not his type. He wasn’t even sure if he would even like anyone though. He never really had people like that in his life. At all honestly.
“Special how exactly?”
“Well… uh, exposition time I guess! 2, get the exposition powerpoint!” 
2 brought out a projector, 1 pulled down a white projector background out of nowhere. Puzzles was a little impressed by how well the meme guardians were prepared for this kind of thing. Kind of made him think about the ways he thought of handling stuff before he went really crazy… Good times.
“So you see, I, SMG1, as well as SMG2, we are meme guardians, and also partners. As in cosmically linked. You see, this was something that was inherent to us since we started existing.”
2 flipped to an image of the 2, with their hands linked, in the process of transmuting a meme.
“Started existing? Cosmically linked?” Puzzles was trying to keep up.
“Yes, we are ageless in a sense. Maybe… Immortal is more correct? And yes, cosmically linked. Sort of like being soulmates. It’s so we can share our power and make each other stronger as well. While we can work on our own as well, working together almost always brings better results. Like what you see on the slide, this is us transmuting memes! The same is true for SMG3 and SMG4 as well. Now… You 2”
he sighed.
“I… I don’t really know to be fair” he admitted.
Silence filled the room. Puzzles was thinking how to react.
‘“Well uh… that’s why I’m here, right? So you can figure it out” Puzzles tried to be optimistic for 1 and 2.
“Right!” 2 chimed in. 1 was starting to feel better about it now.
“Yeah, I guess so”
“Should I bring the memes, 1?”
“Just what I was thinking! Almost like you read my mind”
2 giggled before leaving to get the memes.
“What do you need the memes for?” Puzzles asked.
“You see… I was wondering if your weirdly created link can also manipulate memes or not. Considering Mario is literally the avatar of this world- Oh yeah, Mario being the avatar means if he gets killed the whole world goes to ruin. He’s like the heart of this universe. Oh yeah, we come from a different universe, it’s just since we… lost our avatar, it went to ruin, it became uninhabitable. Dwelling on the past so much is no good though ahah.”
Puzzles was just nodding along.
“Say uh… I’ve been thinking… I remember when SMG3 and SMG4 mended their severed ties… although in a pretty dreamlike way, considering I wasn’t fully there but- they had their literal physical ties well- located differently”
“Physical ties?” 1 looked at him curiously “Why didn’t they mention this to me or 2” Puzzles could almost imagine the kind of talking to 3 and 4 will get about this… Ah, well, not his problem.
2 came back with the memes.
“I was just mentioning it” Puzzles started again, slowly to make sure he had 1’s attention again “Because their ties were on their hands, while with Mario, he does have it on his hands, I actually have it right by my collarbone”
“Oooh, the same place Mario grabbed with all his will to make sure you don’t die!” Mario added with a cheery tone, as if it wasn’t traumatic at all.
“E-... Ah, exactly, Mario” Puzzles sighed.
“Hm” 1 immediately grabbed a few notes to scribble on “I wonder if their locations being different could affect anything in this… even the fact that neither of you are meme guardians!”
he still seemed to be a bit frustrated with this whole thing. Puzzles kind of felt bad.
“It’s my fault, I’m sorry” he spoke quietly but everyone looked at him. 1 panicked a bit.
“Oh no no no, I’m so glad to know this is actually possible! I’ve never seen anything like this! I’m just frustrated because it’s hard to figure out!” 
Puzzles showed a weak smile.
“Besides, it’s also Mario’s fault” Mario chimed in as he stood closer to Puzzles, as if he was trying to comfort him.
They got to a few tests after finally everyone was okay. They came to a few conclusions: The power of the link can be measured physically, however it is more chaotic than the average guardian link, thus it is more unstable. It cannot affect memes, however it has the potential to be more powerful than that. Though that was just a theory from 1 based on how it managed to save Puzzles from going back. However he did note the shared pain being so intense must have something to do with it. 
As they were leaving, Mario didn’t seem to leave his side.
“What?” Puzzles looked at him.
Mario seemed to struggle before finally spitting out something that had been on his rather empty, echoey mind of his. 
“Mario was thinking if you want to live with him!! Considering that he knows you don’t have anywhere else to go right now!!” 
Puzzles was taken aback. He chuckled, his face feeling a bit hot, hot enough that Mario noticed.
“Heh, uhm well, didn’t know you took such a liking to me, Mario” it almost felt like Puzzles was teasing Mario, even though it wasn’t his intention at all. He just wanted to stop feeling like a shaking leaf over kindness.
More concerning, Mario seemed to stop, again, that frozen face of his. Puzzles was scared he hurt him, immediately trying to make it right.
“I mean! That you feel sorry enough for me! I mean uhm, you must not be inviting just any homeless person to live with you!” if he could sweat right now…
Mario slowly regained the composure he seemingly lost.
“Hey now, I do like you a little bit” Mario said cheerfully as he went to lead the way to his and Luigi’s house.
Likes him a little bit? Oh those words were like flints trying to spark something and slowly causing a fire inside his head, making him even more stupid about this whole situation… Oh, it must be the link! There wasn’t anything weird to be explained here, he was just feeling this way because of their link and nothing else. Especially since it happened so recently too! Who knows, it could be actively lying to him about his feelings!
They went inside the house, Luigi greeted him. 
“Mario did say you had nowhere else to go so I agreed that you could live here until you figure something out!” 
“Thank you, it really does mean a lot to me, more than anything” Puzzles sounded so awfully grateful practically on his knees but that could’ve been because he was so god damn tall, it had both brothers ever so lightly flustered. Just a tiny bit but enough to where Puzzles was starting to notice it.
“Oh, of course! It’s the best we can do, it really isn’t much!” Luigi was the more awkward one while Mario just laughed then stared in front of himself. It was almost like he was asserting dominance with just his gaze. Puzzles once again felt awkward.
“Oh, did I mess up… This social interacting thing really isn’t my strong suit right now-”
“Oh, you’re fine, really! Just never had someone so grateful for hospitality is all” Luigi finally sounded fine again “Besides, you can always really thank us by helping around. Mario is like a tornado of messes anyways and I wouldn’t mind help with that”
“Hey! I’m not that bad” Mario defended himself.
“Heh, what, bro? You want to look good in front of your new friend?”
Friend.
Friend.
Friend.
Friend
Oh, it rang so many times in Puzzles’s head. It should have settled in at this point but hearing it like this what did it. Sometimes he still thought he was living in that total loneliness he used to be in before. He smiled. He smiled so much, if he could he would’ve cried.
“I’m your friend?” he sounded like he was genuinely crying.
The 2 brothers looked at him.
“Of course! You’re our friend!”
“Mario thinks you’re pretty cool”
He grabbed both in a tight hug before setting them down again and leaving immediately to a different room. He didn’t even know the layout but he sure was going. At least he was exploring on his own! Oh, he was feeling like a dumbass then. He seemed to stop in what was possibly Mario’s room, considering how messy it looked. But it did smell like him so it was definitely his room. His smell had such a comforting effect on Puzzles, probably due to the fact that the link they newly formed was having undeniably strange effects on him that can’t be attributed to anything else. Nothing else at all. Besides he could NEVER be into fat italians. Just a combo he always found unappealing. So why would he EVER find that type of man interesting or worth his time now? Not even character development could ever do that to him! Just a forceful cosmic link that makes you believe untrue and super false things!
Mario opened the door to see Puzzles on his bed. It was kind of silly, considering he was not even close to being able to fit on the bed. He was just way too tall and lanky to fit on there right. It made Mario chuckle which made Puzzles notice him. They stared at each other for a bit, before Puzzles got up.
“I got in your bed- that wasn’t my intention”
“Mhmmm… It also doesn’t seem big enough for you…”
“Huh? Yea I- How did I not realise that” Puzzles laughed awkwardly as he decided to just plop down on the ground instead.
“It’s okay, Mario understands. Puzzles man only recently became normal”
Puzzles nodded, not knowing what else he could add to this. He didn’t want to run his mouth and say something stupid again. Was he always this much of an idiot? He could barely remember at this point.
Mario could easily notice the frown forming on Puzzles’s screen, which only served to concern him. He sat beside him.
“You good?” 
“Oh I… Well, would you really want to listen? I think it’s just a bunch of nonsense but-”
“Yes, Mario will hear you out. You think he doesn’t think about a bunch of nonsense? You underestimate him”
Puzzles chuckled.
“Well alright… I’m just feeling really stressed… about life in general I think. Since it moved on without me- I can’t exactly resume from where I left off. And my head feels weird in general. Sometimes just… feeling like doing things without thinking or something…”
“HmmmMMmmMMMMMmMM” Mario made loud thinking noises.
“Oh? Do you have an idea on what it could be?”
“No…. although….”
“Although?”
“SMG4 noted before that I acted pretty weird lately”
“Oh huh?”
“In his words ‘Why did you just suggest something good to my videos that wasn’t a meme?’ “
Well this puzzled the Puzzle. 
“What did you suggest?”
“Don’t remember” Mario looked aside for a moment then he seemed to become rather content about himself.
“This is weird… We should talk about it with SMG4 sometime…”
“Mmmm… wait!!” Mario suddenly got up and ran to a calendar “We’ll have vacation soon!!”
“V… Vacation?”
“Yeah! SMG4 said we all deserve one good break!!”
“Huh! So um… I won’t see you for a bit?”
“No way!”
Mario furrowed his brows before he grabbed his phone and went outside. Was interesting seeing Mario act this way… not just stubborn but so… He didn’t even know how to put it into words.
As he sat there, beside Mario’s bed, his mind started to wander, listening to the silence better and the noises hidden in it… The analogue clock that was hung on the wall dominated it although he could hear other things. Like the wind outside. Steps sounding across the halls outside. Even the light hum of his screen finding him. It was rather peaceful, it let him think. He still needed to think about a lot. Or maybe just not think at all. The idea seemed rather attractive. Even though he now cringed as he remembered how tightly he hugged the 2 brothers before running off like a mindless idiot. Good thing Mario didn’t seem to question it. Maybe he should look at things in a similar way! Do first, question why later. Or never, preferably. What could possibly go wrong?
As he was deep in his thoughts, what stirred him from his daydreaming was yelling outside. He now knew it to be Mario, it was rather well… fitting to him. No one else could yell the same way as Mario does. What an odd thing to note for Puzzles…He chose not to think about it though. Just appreciate Mario’s unique nature without further thought. 
A few minutes later, Mario came back with a big smile on his face.
“Mario convinced SMG4 to let you come with us!!” he cheered, hugging Puzzles.
The affection still felt weird, he was still battling feelings. He was sort of relieved when Mario let go of him but he still wished it back so dearly. It was probably one of those things where he couldn’t turn off his brain no matter how much he wanted to.
“You should keep hugs to a minimum, Mario” he commented.
“Awww, you don’t like hugs?” he sounded a bit sad “Really funny how you hugged us so tight before… Mario don’t get it” he looked genuinely stumped.
“I don’t know! I do but I don’t. Just- Just keep them short… please?”
“Okie-dokie!!” Mario smiled “Hmmm… what should you pack for vacation….”
“I kind of don’t have anything” he laughed awkwardly.
“Uhuh… Not even a phone?”
“Nope”
“MmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmMMMMmmmmmm damn”
“Am I not enough by myself”
“I’m gonna ask Luigi if we can get you stuff, can’t just let you come with us with zero planning. That could generate issues we could combat right now instead of leaving it for later”
Mario left. His tone was different from usual. This man was LEADING and with GRACE at that. Puzzles felt starstruck. What the fuck? Sure, Mario had his moments acting a bit outside of who he is but this was so much more. He talked like… Like how he would. Eh, it’s probably nothing!
Luigi got dragged into the room.
“Mario brought Luigi here for you”
“Sorry” Puzzles already felt the apology escaping him. He didn’t think much about it right now afterall. He didn’t think anything. He definitely wasn’t thinking. Why would he be thinking right now? Don’t be silly! He was definitely not thinking and thinking till the end of the Earth! Only the old Puzzles would think about how much of a burden he felt like as soon as he was himself again. The new Puzzles would definitely not feel like he was worth nothing or even less, or that he didn’t deserve to be forgiven even if he was kind of brainwashed.
He was definitely not thinking about any of that. He would never. End of it.
“Hey, it’s okay!” Luigi tried to reassure Puzzles “You do need some things. I heard we’re going to the nearby beach so you need at least some kind of beach clothes. Can…. Can you even go in water?”
“Everything except my head”
“Then yeah! We need swimwear for you. And we need to go shopping anyways!”
“Are you sure?” Puzzles still tried to be nice but was trying to hide so hard that he wasn’t feeling okay mentally.
“Of course! We need spaghetti for Mario anyways so I wanted to go shopping! And maybe… I know where we could get you swimwear”
“Alright” Puzzles got up, hitting his head “Sorry, I’m so tall”
Luigi giggled.
“Well, sadly that’s one thing we can’t fix”
“I think I’ll get used to it”
“Hmm…” Mario thought out loud “Maybe you can squish the spiders up there for Mario”
“Sure thing, Mario” Puzzles smiled at him before turning away, not entertaining anything in himself. Such a stupid idea to overthink such a simple thing anyways. It did freeze Mario though, especially because of the way Puzzles would say his name. Maybe he was a little unwell about Puzzles. Even Luigi noticed the tension between the 2 but decided to brush it off.
“C’mon, guys! We gotta finish while it’s still bright outside!” He left the room, the other 2 soon followed. 
Mario was oddly quiet during the shopping trip until they went to a shop that seemed to be holding just- an abhorrent amount of swimwear of all sorts. Even styles Puzzles never saw before. He was a bit overwhelmed by the selection, although less and less as he reminded himself that about 90% of the stuff sold here won’t fit him considering how god damn tall he was. They went inside, looking around. The shopkeeper, a rather old lady, came out and immediately led the 3 men to the taller section. Now there Puzzles had the chance of finding something good!
They looked around, Puzzles started to feel rather picky. He didn’t know exactly what to go for. 
“Stumped?” Luigi looked up at Puzzles as he seemed to be struggling.
“I don’t know what I exactly want”
“Aren’t bikinis hot right now?” Mario chimed in “Mario was also thinking about getting some”
Puzzles flushed red.
“Me? Showing skin? Don’t be ridiculous!” Puzzles seemed rather defensive. And utterly embarrassed. 
“Mario! Don’t just say things without thinking!” 
“But I’m Mario” 
“You embarrassed him!”
The 2 brothers went onto arguing about boundaries while Puzzles searched further. In the end he found one of those one piece swimsuits that reach from elbow to knee and seemed satisfied with that. It was probably his best choice. Luigi bought it for him. After that they also got him some clothes so he could change later. Once again something that was hard to find at first but since their wonderful world was very diverse even without Puzzles’s amazing lankiness, they found clothes that fit him.
“I’ll pay it back though!” Puzzles said “Write it up somewhere and I’ll totally have it covered as soon as I start working again!”
“Okay okay!” Luigi tried to calm Puzzles down “This won’t drive me broke! If buying Mario a yacht’s worth of spaghetti each month doesn’t then nothing will”
“Oh that sounds like soooo much spaghetti” Mario salivated at the thought.
“Don’t entertain that idea!”
Puzzles laughed at the two.
“Alright but still write it down somewhere. I don’t want to use you too much”
Luigi nodded.
They got home. Luigi went to unload all the groceries while Puzzles got dragged to Mario’s room by Mario himself. He seemed to be going toddler tantrum mode by how tired the day had gotten him or maybe he was just upset he wouldn’t get a yacht’s worth of spaghetti. Even then, his grip on Puzzles was stronger than what should have been possible. 
Mario laid Puzzles down with ease and laid beside him with not much afterthought. He fell asleep fast and even then clung onto Puzzles pretty strongly. He could not escape. 
He couldn’t help it, he let his mind race. He didn’t know how he exactly felt about Mario but he really might make him act up at this rate and he wasn’t kidding. He was being so cute through all of this and at the swimwear shop what kind of sounded like flirting. It definitely wasn’t though! He doubted that Mario would pull out actual flirting just like that. Nobody ever made him feel this way and it was super infuriating for him.
He kind of ended up riling himself up as he angrily stared at Mario. That anger slowly slipped away. He couldn’t stay mad at him. He hadn’t known him for that long anyways, he could always just be feeling this way because experiences in general felt new to him. He just- won’t fully entertain this crazy shit right now but try his best to give himself space to process his feelings. Even if it might throw off the people around him. Even if it could cause him to be a  burden… He stopped at that. He also didn’t want to feel like dead weight around the crew. Especially as he imagined how god awfully awkward he’ll feel around everyone when they go on that vacation. This was gonna be really hard on him, even if he realised he needed space for his big feelings. He yawned. He felt tired too. He pulled the blanket off of the bed and tried his best to cover himself and Mario as well. Kind of weird, but they managed to fall asleep on the floor together. 
The 2 slept soundly together, as they tangled up more while sleeping. Considering how neither was a light sleeper, Luigi had an interesting sight to greet him when he went to Mario to tell him that breakfast was ready.
He giggled at the sight and even took a picture. That’ll be something he can tease Mario about later. He left the room quietly with an evil grin plastered on his face.
It took a while until Mario stirred. Even he was surprised that he was held so closely by Puzzles. And just how warm he was. And wasn’t nearly as hard as he thought he would be, considering his body was made of wires and cables. He actually felt really comfortable. Maybe a bit too comfortable. He still couldn’t quite understand what was going on in his brain. He just let the thoughts run across him as if his mind was a waterfall and these thoughts were feeble, unfit fish that are defenseless against the power of a waterfall. Just like how his thoughts were defenseless at Mario’s mind becoming so empty they become nothing as well. Though that just left him confused. He didn’t know if this was okay but hey! It was probably nothing. It’ll just solve itself in some roundabout way like how things usually just go off in a chain reaction around him. He was sort of used to things happening to him and around him. Just like when his Mighty Italian suffered at the merciless door’s slammige. Although he was panicked, things happening around him kind of solved it. Just like how a good but silly plot demands it. This time should be no different. Since there was a good and engaging start to this and it had slowly been ramping up, it should reach a satisfying conclusion. It was only fair, to make a story that could leave a mark on people… What… What were these thoughts? Even Mario himself was stumped at his thoughts. Maybe it was because he just woke up but he wasn’t exactly the type to have discussions like this inside his head for fun. He preferred his mind to have as much of a reverb as St. Stephen’s Basilica no less and with the most disgustingly awful sound system set up, so bad any words spoken are drenched in noise, losing clarity. Honestly, maybe even more. Make his mind as echoey as a hollow Earth would be and record it with an xbox type headset.
He looked up to Puzzles, discarding his thoughts as he observed Puzzles’s softly humming screen engulfed in static. It was rather mesmerising. He squirmed until he freed his hands and reached up to feel his screen. Even his screen was sort of warm, although harder than his body, there was still something startlingly alive about it. He became a little obsessed with it. And it seemed Puzzles chose the worst possible time to wake up.
Mario hesitantly pulled away his hands from Puzzles’s screen. 
“Hmmm?” Puzzles didn’t speak yet, just humming softly as he woke up.
“Good morning, TV man” Mario defaulted to being sort of polite. It seemed he couldn’t fully discard those thoughts now! Unfortunate. Suffer my gay wrath, Mario.
“Morning, Mario…” he yawned “How’d you sleep”
“Pretty good… you’re comfy” he giggled as he cuddled closer to Puzzles. To his dismay. Puzzles sat up. He whined. Puzzles pulled Mario off of him. 
“Physical affection time is over now” Puzzles said, rather dryly. 
Mario looked at him, with waves of sadness, waves that washed away in his blue eyes that got so big, pleading, looking at Puzzles just to give him one more second of physical closeness. Puzzles strongly averted his gaze. Although now he won’t be able to get those puppy eyes out of his mind. 
He stood up, this time more careful to not hit his head in the ceiling. 
Mario decided to brush it off. Though, once again, he couldn’t quite discard it all until he thought about breakfast.
“Oh, Mario’s gonna have breakfast” and there he went.
Puzzles sighed. Even yesterday, Mario got to him quite a lot but he didn’t have the heart to push him away. Especially not after what he ended up thinking about after Mario fell asleep. Although, based on how it all went down, it might not be the last time that Mario would fall asleep latched onto him. And he was a bit worried about the fact that it didn’t bother him. Though maybe it was better for him to get used to it. He knew he had to make some odd sacrifices to make his life work again. Or more like start working for the first time ever. 
He left to see Mario destroying breakfast. It was as if they made mukbang but violent. He already saw what Luigi meant by Mario being something to deal with. Luigi looked at him, they shared a look. He sat down with the brothers to eat with them. Although he didn’t need a lot to sustain himself, he still needed a bit. And as he did, the 2 brothers looked at him. Puzzles felt embarrassed.
“What?” he already tried to defend himself “can’t a man have his breakfast?”
“TV eats…. pretty cool” Mario was maybe a bit too joyful about Puzzles being able to eat.
“I just didn’t think about it before but it makes sense! Sorry if we caused you to feel bad”
Puzzles sighed.
“Thank you, apology accepted… I just don’t want to be seen as a freak is all…”
“Of course, it’s understandable”
“Mario will fight the haters for you” and he sounded serious about it too.
Puzzles was clearly flattered, maybe a bit flustered. Luigi looked between the 2. Puzzles looked at him. Luigi gave him a look that could only be described as having the vibe of ‘Idk what’s going on with you 2 but I’m not gonna get tangled in your problem’. Puzzles felt defeated.
“Say… When exactly is the vacation?” Puzzles changed the subject.
“This weekend”
“Oh huh! 2 more days then… At least I have time to attend to… actually getting a job”
“TV already getting a new job?”
“Yes, Mario” he said “Actually you interrupted me in the middle of it when I was asked to join my ex rival’s studio. Which is why I would’ve needed the- Wait we actually really did forget about getting me a phone” Puzzles stared off “How will I call them now?”
“You can use our land line!” 
“Oh, thank you! Maybe next time we go we can actually get me one”
“Sure thing, Puzzles! Let's hope we don’t forget next time”
“Yeah”
He got up and left, forcing the conversation to end. Mario watched him closely then stared at where he saw Puzzles leave.
Luigi took his phone out with the picture he took of the 2.
Mario noticed the motion under his face, looking down. He took a bit as he realised what he was looking at. He slowly flushed red. Luigi grinned at the reaction.
“I see you slept well” he teased Mario.
Mario couldn’t react as he turned away from Luigi, trying to hide his face. His ears being so red were giving away his thoughts though.
“Oh, dear god, you’re THAT smitten” Luigi laughed, now feeling a bit bad. Mario would usually try to throw hands at this point.
He looked back at him with the most genuine shock in his eyes.
“Smitten??!” he said with so much disbelief, he genuinely didn’t think about it that way.
Luigi stared at him.
“You didn’t think about that at all?”
“No!!! Mario is too stupid for stuff like that!” he seemed rather panicked now.
“Oh, bro” Luigi now just fully felt bad, as he wrapped an arm around his brother, trying to comfort him “I get that it can be hard to deal with these feelings-”
“Mario thought he could only love spaghetti” he started sobbing. Luigi looked unamused.
“...Just know I’m here to listen if you wanna talk about it, okay?” 
Mario nodded then hugged him. Good grief, he didn’t think he would need this so suddenly, just like this. He didn’t even know he could develop feelings in such an embarrassing way. He wasn’t the cool and easygoing Mario anymore, he was stupid and scared now. Sure, he could be scared but it wasn't exactly usual for him to feel this anxious. Not even Peach could make him feel that way while she was around and he still sort of liked her. He never felt like he’s fumbling a bad bitch or something, especially because that fumbling was part of their relationship in a way. However here he felt so much more, being scared he couldn’t be enough for the man he happened to fall for a little bit. Maybe it’ll just pass! That was an on and off thing with a certain someone who wasn’t Peach. And he even grew pretty casual about it too! But this… Mario was fucked. As in utterly, deeply and strongly fucked.
He sighed which drew attention from his brother.
“Mario thinks it’ll pass. Just very intense right now. Way too intense” by the end it sounded like he was whining. 
Luigi chuckled and patted his back.
“If that makes it easier to sleep at night”
Puzzles took a while, it felt like time stopped. But he came back afterall. Why did Mario feel he was gone forever? He wouldn’t leave… would he? When… When he is able to make good money he probably will.
Mario stayed oddly quiet while Luigi and Puzzles were discussing something entirely unimportant to him. It was all just noise. His head never felt so full, it felt suffocating. Uncomfortably so. So many things he had been through yet this broke him in a way he didn’t know could happen to him. He quietly got up and got himself more spaghetti to occupy himself with something. Luigi didn’t say a thing, just glanced at him. Puzzles was none the wiser about the fact that Mario wasn’t just having seconds, he was actively coping with eating. 
The day passed by. Puzzles had the job now, he would start as soon as he got back from the vacation they so suddenly invited him to. More like Mario invited him. From what little he could guess from what he saw and heard, SMG4 really didn’t like him. Not that he had a problem with that, he had every right to. He just knew it could easily make things awkward. Especially because he didn’t know what to expect. Hell, what if he ruins the whole outing? Just making it awful for everyone around…. It truly scared him. In these times, he was weirdly glad he had Mario sometimes latching onto him in his koala kind of manner. Though he did draw the line at his screen being used to watch stuff. Sure, he had so much love for television himself and all- but that was his face! And his face is there to be a face, not to just be your usual household equipment. Mario did try every so often though until he seemed to reach a breaking point with it. He was REALLY bored but he also didn’t want to bother Puzzles into… maybe even hating him. The thought sent a chill down his spine.
Mario was struggling, oscillating between being beside Puzzles or not. He finally put his foot down, abruptly leaving. Puzzles was sure puzzled by this. Staring a hole into the door, as if the door did something to him. He realised what he was doing was dumb as hell as he pushed himself up from the floor and left the room. No one was inside so he left the house to look around. He found Luigi tending to their garden in the back. It was small but really pristine and well-kept. He did know it was a passion of his so it didn’t surprise him but he thought it would be bigger.
“Anything wrong?” he must have stared because this was a question he got from Luigi.
“Oh no, not really! I was just- looking around is all. And it felt a little lonely inside.” 
Luigi hummed.
“If you want to know, Mario left to SMG4”
“Ah! I see! Not… Not that I asked it but thank you”
“Sure” Luigi said with sarcasm which Puzzles did not pick up on at all.
For a while he didn’t do much until he had quite the grand idea. He looked around the house on his own, searching for stuff to aid his idea. On his quest for a pen or pencil and paper, he found personal stuff which he didn’t mean to. Like pictures and notes about adventures they both had. He sighed, happy that they both had such an eventful life, but also feeling jealous for the very same reason. He wished that were him. He shook his head, though he couldn’t help but wonder about all those adventures as they slowly seeped into his idea, tainting it so so sweetly. And it showed. His idea wasn’t only his anymore. But he did like it. 
He started to sketch out concept shots for it as well, full of drama and plans for all sorts of lighting, camera angles, scenery, the practical effects, even ending up pondering about the sound effects, the kind of music he’d use. It’s almost like his love for filmmaking never left him.
By the time Mario got back from an adventure with SMG4 which he induced by causing problems, as he tends to from time to time, he found his room covered in a lot of doodles, with Puzzles being in the middle of it. He looked like he was consumed by it but didn’t seem bothered by it. Grinning happily and without care in his metaphorical black hole of passion. Mario found the smile rather contagious. He couldn’t help but stare at everything, taking in so much detail. Usually his head would explode over such actions, especially because there were words he had to read, or refuse to take in information but today seemed different. He took it with open arms, just like the man in the middle of this beautiful mess.
Their eyes met, shared a few moments of eye contact. The realness of it all, it was sickening and weird. Mario wished some really bad things while being so deeply enamored. Made him wish he never existed. 
Puzzles on the other hand was more confused although flustered. He didn’t think about it too much before but Mario’s opinion on him might have mattered more to him than he let on.
The stare off ended as Puzzles awkwardly spoke up.
“Uhh- hey, Mario! Are you interested in my work?”
Mario took a bit.
“Mario doesn’t know what you’re making but it looks cool”
“Oh they are just plans for scenes I was thinking about! You see, my plans are always all over the place but they always come together in the end!”
“Hmmmmmm….” Mario thought strongly “Like a puzzle”
Puzzles got flustered at the comment as it hit him. He felt stupid for not realising it sooner. He didn’t even choose it because of that, even though this was right there to justify it.
“Oh, dear, aren’t you so smart!” he laughed, slowly letting the awkwardness pass him by. 
Mario shook his head.
“Barely if ever”
“Exceptions exist just for that you know”
“Uh- Guess so? Wouldn’t know”
“Say… would you like to listen to me talk about all this?” he gestured at all his notes and sketches.
Mario thought for a bit then answered rather unusually. 
“Sure, yeah” he sat down beside Puzzles as he started going over the intricacies of building up his perfect scenes. Even having them connect so well, although a full script or story was currently not finished, they were genuinely falling into place. Such an impossible feat, working like that. No wonder he was considered a catch if he can do things like that. And Mario ate it all up. Nodding along to his words whenever he looked for validation to continue, without even thinking much about it. It just all came so unsettlingly natural. 
It felt like so much time had passed when Luigi knocked on their door and opened it, seeing Mario leaning on Puzzles while Puzzles was full of excitement talking.
Luigi giggled at the sight which alerted the 2. Although both were flustered Mario was the one who had it worse. 
“Just wanted ask you 2 if you want dinner” Luigi said as he put a hand on his hip, teasing them.
“Oh hmm dinner haha!!” Mario spoke nervously as he got up fast and ran for the kitchen. Puzzles rolled his eyes, looking a little disappointed.
“I see you’ve been working on stuff” Luigi said, pointing at all the stuff scattered on the floor.
“I’ll clean up!”
“Of course!” Luigi giggled “That’s not why I mentioned it”
“Then…?”
“It’s just great to see you have fun! Now come and eat, you probably didn’t eat all day and that’s not good”
Puzzles got up with a smile on his face. He really was having fun. Especially… when Mario joined. Although that thought was quite complex for him and one that made his head hurt, he still couldn’t wipe off the grin he got going on. He felt almost controlled by it. Not in a bad way, just in the way that he couldn’t hide his happiness at all.
They all sat down. Mario devoured food like a bottomless pit while the other 2 ate a normal amount. Mario eating was a bit too loud this time to make casual talk. The way he sounded, he might as well be choking on pasta at the rate he was taking it in his mouth, making sure he had a good mouthful. And this made him messy as all hell as well, if the absolutely disgusting noises he made weren’t enough. Luigi sometimes glanced at his brother, concerned. He did that enough for Puzzles to notice as well. 
As soon as they finished, Luigi grabbed Mario without a word, dragging him to shower. Mario was screaming about not wanting to shower. Puzzles just watched, awkwardly waving him goodbye, as if out of solidarity. And it was but Puzzles was scared if it looked like he was mocking Mario for getting forced to shower. 
He sat there awkwardly for a bit before he decided to go back to Mario’s room. He tidied up his notes and put them neatly together in a way he knew he could use it again. Order was important to him, sometimes the only thing soothing his anxieties.
He sat down on the floor, then slowly flopped over. His ever so crazy creativity going so fast before drowned out his sleepiness but now it came out full force. He thought over the day as he closed his eyes, noting his thoughts one by one. Being invited to hang out with people who he hurt before. He was scared of how that could go. He would understand if they threw him out immediately after seeing him. Hell, maybe it would be a mistake to take him at all! Even when not possessed, he was still a nuisance, not ready for the world at all. And he felt like the world wasn’t ready for him either. Maybe he’ll just choose to stay away from the others and not talk to anyone! Maybe they would even be glad. Yes. Of course. What else would be a better choice than shutting the hell up as soon as he is around people who could easily make him feel awful even just with a slightly negative glance. He would crumble if he even uttered a word. 
The door to the room opened momentarily shaking Puzzles out of his thoughts. Then fully as he saw that Mario was wearing pink pajamas with a mushroom pattern. The mushrooms had faces and looked like they were ripped from some kind of obscure children’s show. Both the top and bottom had mushrooms. What made it actually kind of funny was the miserable face Mario held. Puzzles chuckled at the sight, he found it way too silly like this.
“You like Mario’s drip?”
“Sure do” Puzzles chuckled again “It fits you well”
Mario rolled his eyes.
“What do you know, Puzzles!” He was clearly playing it up dramatically, and he was failing at even acting like it. He was grinning so much. 
Puzzles yawned.
“Well, I know the day had been long”
Mario stepped rather close to Puzzles, clearly expecting something.
Puzzles looked at him, knowing exactly what he wanted. They hadn’t spent too much time together yet but reading Mario was quickly becoming easy for him. He sighed as he got up.
“Okay, but I’m gonna shower first”
Mario sat down, looking up at him with big puppy eyes.
Puzzles groaned at the sight, was it convincing? Absolutely. Was he gonna practice self control for the sake of not only himself but his hygiene? Also yes.
“After I shower I’m yours all night just stop making that face”
Mario nodded. Puzzles left.
Mario was left to his now mildly filled head. It was bouncing thoughts so awfully. He wished he could think about pasta forever but sadly that wasn’t possible for him. Even before, but now even less. It felt like his head from comfortable silence went to experience white noise. Ever so constant, out of nowhere too. He couldn’t say he fully hated it though. Every once in a while, he just wanted to embrace it so strongly, with his whole body, just the amount of passion he felt even just the thought of expressing it shook him sober. Sober on the idea that he genuinely gained feelings for someone like Puzzles. He didn’t like feeling this aware.
Puzzles came back, Mario’s cloud of soberness immediately dissipated into a different world as he latched onto Puzzles. Puzzles felt a little hot over it. At least he could blame it on the hot shower he took.
“Not wasting a single moment, huh?” he teased Mario, kind of half intentionally. Lot of mixed feelings about it but he didn’t want it to end. It was actually kind of nice.And being sleepy did make him clingier as well.
“Nuh-uh”
Puzzles chuckled as he held Mario in his arms while he laid down.
“Say…” Mario started, looking up at Puzzles.
“Hm?”
“Would you like to come over tomorrow to SMG4’s as well?”
“I- I’m not sure he would like that”
“C’mon! I’ll convince him”
“I- I don’t even know what I would say when I’m there. Doesn't everyone else in your friend group hate me? I did bad things so it would be only fair”
“Times are changing, TV man!” Mario playfully booped Puzzles.
“Are you sure?”
“It would also be good to test the grounds before the vacation”
“Test the grounds, huh? I’ll say… I like the way you think”
Mario seemed to freeze. 
“You good, Mario?”
“You got Mario confused… what thinking did he do?”
Puzzles was looking at him, kind of confused but more disappointed.
“C’mon, Mario, I know those braincells of yours can work out some beautiful things. I’ve seen it”
Mario blushed at the compliment but played it off.
“But Mario got no braincells, only himself! That was all Mario original”
Puzzles couldn’t help it, he laughed at the silly joke.
“You know what, just for that, I’ll go with you tomorrow, just make sure you help out if things get bad”
“Yay! Mario will be your cool white knight”
Puzzles couldn’t help the smile that was growing on his screen just thinking about that.
“Alright. Now sleep”
They slowly fell asleep, in such a sure place. Sure as in right. Might be just the weird feelings in them but it felt like their bond strengthened. Maybe they could even take over the world with what they got. God damn it, good for them! Good for them.
The next morning rose, along with Puzzles first this time. He wanted to get Mario off of himself so he could dress up, considering he was in his pajamas. He actually didn’t like loose fitting clothing like this too much on himself. Sure, they were more comfortable to sleep in but that didn’t mean he would like them.
But by GOD, he didn’t have the heart to wake Mario like this. He could imagine the expression he would pull on him if he tried. And that expression is deeply dangerous!
So all he could do was lie there, taking it as if it was a punishment. He wasn’t necessarily that miserable though.
After a while of lying there, he made up his mind. He REALLY wanted to get dressed. And of course, he was right. He got the most sad puppy look of Mario.
“Please just let me dress up”
Mario whined but let go of Puzzles, letting him grab his stuff and then leave to dress in the bathroom.
Mario was looking at the door until Puzzles appeared again. Lucky for himself, he was too sleepy yet to have further thought. All he knew was that he was already missing the warmth. As soon as he was back, Puzzles opened his arms for Mario to come back to.
It wasn’t exactly the same but it still satiated him.
“You know, I never would’ve guessed you would be clingy” Puzzles noted casually while getting his notes out of where he put them to make sure they still made sense. 
“Oh, Mario’s been this way… he would often sleep at SMG4’s for this reason”
“You… would cuddle SMG4?”
“Yes. Anything wrong with it?”
“No, I was just cur-”
“Maybe jealous?”
Puzzles lit red at the accusation.
“I’m not jealous! Don’t be ridiculous!” 
Mario laughed. 
“Mario believes you”
“Thank you”
Puzzles went back to sorting his notes again, although still a bit bothered.  The more he thought about it, he DID feel a bit jealous. And he felt so stupid for it. He shouldn’t even have the audacity to feel that way. 
Mario clinging onto him did sooth the silly thoughts he didn’t want to have. 
Mario let his grip loosen as he turned to the notes. He was looking at them pretty intently.
Puzzles noticed as well.
“Anything wrong, Mario?”
“Just…. this” he pointed at one of the notes which was detailing a character of the movie Puzzles was working on. It was the protagonist.
“Yes?”
“You were saying this character doesn’t have a motive to do things he does yet”
“Yeah?” Puzzles was puzzled by the verbose thoughts from Mario but listened nonetheless.
“A great motivation would be love. For this character” he pointed at another character, it was actually the secondary protagonist “You said you want this character to be more goofy but I think it would make it interesting if these 2 had something more going on. Especially because you could also show a motive for the murder in act 3. Maybe just make that character a little worse and there!”
Puzzles was staring at Mario. Oh, his mind was full of so many thoughts. And he looked so…. Uhuh, Puzzles, what were you thinking there? 
“That… Actually works pretty well. Hell, it could even work as a twist at the end! So unexpected that the comedic character could end up as the motivator. That they were… always meant to be lovers”
“Even better” Mario laughed “Better write it down”
Puzzles hummed.
“Now Mario’s gonna get breakfast”
“Have a great feast” Puzzles teased Mario.
“Mmmmm feast” Mario walked out with a silly smile on his face, thinking about how big a feast can get. Since this was about Mario, probably very big.
Puzzles looked over his notes and corrected over with the new detail where he saw fit. With a few corrections, the story really felt more whole now. Something about the fact that Mario helped him with it also made him love it more. He wondered if he was supposed to feel bad about that. He and Mario didn’t know each other for too long yet so… would it be… would it be bad to say…
Puzzles shook his head as he clumsily reassembled his notes and hastily put them away as he went outside. Why was this so hard to think about?
He left the room to see Mario indeed finished his feast at this point. He was actually lying down on the floor at this point.
Puzzles looked down at Mario confused.
“Mario’s coping” he said weakly.
Puzzles chuckled, smiling down at him.
“Understandable”
They gazed into each other’s eyes until Luigi disturbed them. 
“Puzzles, I have a lot of work around here, can you help? I’d ask Mario but I don’t know-”
“Mario was planning to go to SMG4! WITH Mr Puzzles too!”
Luigi sighed.
“Can you help me with this at least?” Luigi almost pleaded to Puzzles.
“But of course”
“Hmph” Mario stumped off, making sure he’s very far from housework.
“He can be quite a handful sometimes” Luigi sighed again.
“But of course” Puzzles said, chuckling.
Luigi watched him catiously, while still cleaning another dirty plate left by Mario’s Mario-sized feast.
“You like him a lot, huh?”
Puzzles seemed to go into deep thought as he thought over that. 
“I guess so… in some ways”
“Some ways?” Luigi seemed puzzled by the Puzzle himself.
“I… do like spending time with him. He can be nice… my opinion can always change though! I could always… end up hating him”
“Hey I get that. Having any kind of relation with Mario isn’t exactly the easiest thing. He IS hard to handle and can be awful to handle- he can do awful things, sometimes even just to spite you. But when he doesn’t do that I do think he’s worth it. I wouldn’t have anyone else as my brother”
“That’s sweet, Luigi… I just don’t know if I’ll last beside him…”
“Oh?”
“It’s just- maybe I… I don’t know…” Puzzles got rather quiet by the end.
“If you’re scared Mario doesn’t like you, I can assure you he does. He doesn’t exactly latch onto people just like that”
Puzzles felt his screen heat up over the mention of the clinginess Mario could prosper in.
“Okay…”
“Is that all?”
“No… It’s very hard to get back to- everything. And I- never had a real friend before. Even before the- possession, I didn’t focus on it as much as I should have”
“Well… then you just have to be patient. I think you know things will be hard and that shouldn’t stop you”
“Right…. thanks, Luigi”
“Anytime”
“I’m also uh…. I also wanna ask for advice. Because I was convinced to tag along with Mario to SMG4’s and I…”
“You’re scared the crew is gonna hate you?”
“Yeah…”
“I get that, I’d be scared if I were you too. Some of them can be hard headed. But they can be really kind too. If you just act like yourself I think you should be fine”
“Really?”
“Yeah. They might make fun of you but they do that to each other all the time. You should’ve seen how SMG3 and SMG4 were before- But they still all love each other, so who's to say they couldn’t love you too?”
“Mhmm… Yea, you’re making a lot of sense”
“I know. I’m sure you’ll do fine. With Mario as well”
“Thank you, Luigi. Now I’ll feel forever indebted to you”
“Oh you” 
After they finished with the dishes, Puzzles went to get Mario so they could go to SMG4’s. 
He wasn’t in his room.
“Mario?” he called out for him “There aren’t more dishes left, we can go”
No answer.
Panic set.
It’ll be okay! It’ll be so. Fine.
“Mario, please?”
He waited in the room.
“This isn’t the time for games, please”
He paced in the room before leaving the room. He went to Luigi.
“I can’t find him”
“Mario? Hmm” 
Luigi went to the front door. He opened it. He took a big breath in. Puzzles watched in anticipation. 
“MAAARIIIOOOOOOOOOO” he shouted, he sounded amplified,, Puzzles swore he could feel the vibrations of his voice. It must carry far if it was this loud for him. How the hell did he do that? Some kind of Mario brothers gimmick or something? He wasn’t sure.
A worried Mario showed up, seemingly coming from the road he’d take to SMG4’s. Even though he was nervous, Puzzles’s heart sank. Did he not want to bring him along? Maybe he really was a burden.
“Mario! You left Puzzles here!”
Mario froze.
“Oh-” 
Puzzles didn’t say a word.
Mario collected his thoughts.
“Sorry- You still want to come?”
“Sure” Puzzles said, sounding rather defeated.
The 2 set off, Luigi could finally relax while 2 were to fight off tension.
They were silent for a while then, Puzzles not even looking Mario’s way.
“Hey… I’m sorry if I upset you. I… didn’t mean to just- ran after my empty head-”
“I thought you didn’t wanna bring me”
“What?? Why else would Mario ask you??”
“I… I don’t know, to take pity on me?”
“Mario doesn’t take pity”
“But.. you took me in as well-”
“Because Mario finds you cool!”
Puzzles felt himself getting hotter over the compliment.
“You think so?”
“Of course!”
“Well, I… I think you’re cool too” Puzzles chuckled with a lovestruck expression. 
Mario never felt so in love. Damn it.
He jumped up and hugged Puzzles, which halted him as he didn’t want to fall over. He stood for a bit before Mario spoke up, looking up at Puzzles with big puppy eyes.
“Can Mario stay here?”
Puzzles chuckled, trying to stifle his embarrassment with little success.
“Sure, but we’ll keep going”
“Good with Mario”
Puzzles went on, with Mario wrapped on him. He held him with one arm while letting the other relax by his side, following the rhythm of his stride as he followed the path to SMG4’s.
By the time they got there, both got rather used to the contact. It was hard to deny it was rather comfortable.
He saw some of the crew outside, seemingly discussing something. It was Meggy, SMG3 and SMG4, with Eggdog and Beeg there. They noticed the 2. 4 immediately went back to the discussion while the other 2 waved at them. He waved back awkwardly.
“We’re here?” Mario asked.
“We sure are… Do you want to get off?”
“Well, if Mario needs to…” Mario reluctantly loosened his grip on Puzzles, landing on his feet without trouble.
 Mario walked ahead and Puzzles followed behind, still an air of awkwardness with him. The glance 4 took at him alone brought back all the anxiety he was feeling before. 
“Hey you 2!” Meggy greeted the 2. 
“Didn’t know Puzzles was coming today as well, good to see you though” 3 said, while carefully looking to 4 too. He knew something was going on with him. Puzzles understood what he was getting.
“Hi” 4 said as he turned around, only one glance at Puzzles then looking at Mario. Even that single glance burned him.
“Mario, remember when we were talking about an event idea for 3’s café?”
They started talking about something Puzzles couldn’t contribute to. So he just stood there awkwardly. Not wanting to go anywhere because he didn’t want to leave Mario’s side but also wanted to leave so badly because he was feeling so awkward. And it definitely didn’t help that he was also really tall compared to the others. Really made him feel like he was never meant to fit in. He wished he could sink into the floor until he felt someone poke him on his forearm. He turned around to see Tari.
“Hi” she said, with a look of understanding. 
“Hey?” he wasn’t sure how to respond.
“You weren’t here before so I was wondering how good you are at games!” she said, already dragging him along. 
“Oh! Sure!” 
Mario looked at him.
“Okay! Happy gaming for you!”
Tari brought Puzzles inside, letting him take a seat on the couch in the gaming room.
“Okay… Puzzles” she looked at him with certain firmness, a sort of care “You looked like a shaking leaf. Sorry if I- appeared suddenly, I just wanted to help you out. You don’t need to game if you don’t want to”
“Uh- Thanks, Tari. I want to try at least. Just be gentle heh” he chuckled.
“But only this time”
Tari brought up Smash and showed Puzzles the controls and showed off stuff in game as well. Letting him get used to it, he didn’t play super awful. He didn’t win a single time but he did put up a good fight. 
“Sorry, Puzzles” Tari was feeling bad “It’s really hard to turn my gamer brain off. You could try fighting against a bot?”
“A bot?”
“Yeah. It’s a player controlled by the game”
“Sounds good”
They played for a while until Meggy appeared there too.
“Gaming going well?” she asked as she sat beside Tari.
“Sure is” Puzzles smiled “I didn’t know games could be so much fun”
“And this is only one! We have quite a few more here. I also have other games I sometimes bring over” Tari cheered.
“By the way” Meggy spoke more quietly “Sorry I couldn’t help you out, Puzzles. I wanted to but the talk of the café event was pretty important too.
“No worries. What’s it gonna be?”
“We’re still in the idea phase. Maid event came up but 3 shot it down”
“Maids, huh? I’d prefer butler” Tari said.
“To dress as one or to be served by one?” Meggy asked.
“Both” Tari giggled.
“Well, now I want to be a butler for it. Maybe I’ll mention that to 3.
“Oh, yeah, how did you manage to get away?”
Meggy took a bit to reply.
“Well… 4 wanted to talk to Mario privately”
Both girls hummed while Puzzles froze.
“Oh, I hope it’s nothing bad”
It was something bad, Mario could feel as he followed 4, rather quietly. It felt like if he tried anything he would be killed on sight.
“So” 4 sat down on his bed, patting the spot beside him for Mario to sit down. Mario hesitated but sat down.
“Did Mario do something wrong?”
“I’ll decide that when I know more. You are pretty clingy with him, huh?”
Mario turned red. Not only did this feel like an interrogation, it was also about his maybe-kinda-probably crush.
“Guess so” he looked away.
“Did he do something to you? Hurt you? Manipulate you? Why are you letting him live with you?”
“Mario just… wanted to be kind”
“That can’t be it. You can tell me if he tried to threaten you”
“But he didn’t! He’s actually really nice”
4 didn’t seem satisfied with the answer.
“He must have gotten to you badly”
“Oh, awfully” Mario flushed at the thought. 
4 wasn’t happy.
“You like him or something??” he asked, anger dripping out of his words.
The longer Mario didn’t reply the more sure 4 was.
“I can’t believe you. We don’t even know if we can REALLY trust him!”
“You’re not even giving him a chance!”
���You wouldn’t either if you knew what I went through because of him!”
“You would if you knew what happened in the void!”
“Shut up! He probably manipulated you then as well!”
“Why are you so insistent? Are you jealous or something?!”
“I just want to protect you” 4 sighed, lowering his voice “You’re important to me, Mario. You’re my best friend”
Mario didn’t know how to reply as he left the room, tears falling from his eyes.
“Wait!” 4 ran after him.
The 3 in the gaming room heard Mario leave. Puzzles felt it in his soul. He was terribly sad. And scared. 
“We have to check on him. He’s doing awful” Puzzles said.
The 2 girls followed him. They went to Mario outside but 4 was still trying to catch him.
“It’s gonna be worse if he betrays you when you like him” 4 shouted after Mario. He didn’t realise the other 3 were there.
Meggy ran up beside 4, grabbing him by the shoulder with force.
“You’re just making him more upset! This won’t make anything better!!”
“But what if he tries something?? He can’t-”
“Yeah, what if I try something?” Puzzles spoke up, while looking down. He wasn’t being silly, he felt scared. 
“It’s like he’s confessing to a crime right now!! Can he really be trusted??”
“Is it too far-fetched to say someone could redeem himself? Or did you never actually trust SMG3?” Mario spoke up, rather angry at 4. Throwing words he might not mean later but he was so angry. It engulfed him and Puzzles too. Puzzles could feel it burn, he was so mad. 
“That’s fucking different!” 4 lunged at him after prolonged silence. 
“And how so?? Do you have proof??” 
“Why would you say something like this about someone like him??”
“Because you speak like that about Puzzles”
“Because- UGH” 4 gave up as he walked away, leaving without another word. His aura somehow seemed to remain though as the 4 of them couldn’t say a word for a while now.
Mario was the first one to do anything, he walked up to Puzzles and held one of his hands in his.
“I trust you, don’t worry” he looked up at him, showing a hopeful smile. Puzzles smiled back.
“Thank you. At least someone… believes that”
“Hey, we believe in you too!” Tari said.
“Yeah! We’re here for you, Puzzles. Even if you did bad things in the past”
“I guess… SMG4 just doesn’t forgive. But honestly I get it. I did awful things. Then again I helped him get with SMG3-” he joked lightly. Mario chuckled at it.
“In a weird way, yeah” Meggy and Tari chuckled too.
Puzzles was glad his silly moment was a hit with the crowd. Good grade for socialisation. 
“But back to it. You’re right… it seems he doesn’t forgive easily. I’m sorry if this made things hard for you” Meggy apologised for 4. 
“You don’t need to be sorry!” Puzzles reassured her “I just hope he’ll be able to calm down. I… I don’t hate him”
“Puzzles is right, we can’t apologise for someone else. 4 will have to do that himself” Tari reassured Meggy, who earned a smile in return.
“By the way, we could go back to gaming” Puzzles suggested.
“Let’s go gaming!!” Mario cheered.
The 4 went back inside to keep playing fun games.
4 paced in his room, starting to doubt stuff. He swore he was right, he was so sure he was right. This man, he knew, he had wicked plans. Wicked plans to ruin people. He almost ruined SMG3, his world, he almost ruined his world for good. It made him so angry. The idea that he could lose his best friend that… that monster. It made him so angry. He wanted nothing more than to cut him out of their life. He wished he didn’t exist at all. So nobody would’ve gotten hurt by his schemes, let that be trauma from being killed several times, risk of losing your privacy, losing oneself to perfection, losing oneself to self loathing and the idea that you’re not enough. He had an impressive collection of things he had done and he didn’t understand how anyone could trust him. How Mario seemed to adore him so much…
Did… Did Mario fall in love with Puzzles?
No… No way. He would act differently about that. He was just… Maybe Mario is playing 4D chess with Puzzles. Sure.
Stop lying to yourself, SMG4. You know very well that you are just trying to make yourself feel better because you can’t cope with the things that happened to you. You’re lashing out because you feel alienated. But you don’t know that. You can’t put it into words. All you know is that you hate Puzzles.
You hate him so much.
He paced around a little more. It was so unfair. Why did it only have to be him?
He left the castle, walking. Just walking. Somehow ending up right back in the café.
“Hey, where were you bl- Oh my god” 3 reacted accordingly to how 4 looked. He looked so messed up.
3 dragged him away to fix him up as much as he could.
“You can’t be serious” 3 whined.
“It’s not fair” it was all 4 could say.
“What’s not fair? I’ll listen” 3 said, cupping 4’s face. But instead of saying anything he burst into tears. 
3 hugged 4, not really caring much about someone screaming outside to order.
“There there…I’m guessing this is about Mr Puzzles”
“Yeah…” 4 said, kind of ashamed in a way. It was hard to deal with the fact that no one else seemed to care.
“You know… I don’t like him too much either but… I don’t really want to concentrate on it. I’d rather give him space to improve than to… push him into new villainy.”
“But… He could take Mario from us… What would I…. Would I be a good friend if I lost him just like that, because I let things happen?”
“Blue, you’re making things worse right now… I bet Mario isn’t happy about this either. And he can fend for himself. Don’t take the guardian part of your name this seriously”
“But I… 3…” 4 seemed to press on.
3 hugged him tighter.
“I’m hugging the worry out of you, 4”
4 chuckled.
“You’re being so silly right now”
“And you’re smiling about it. It’s working.”
“You know you could… do something else to get the worry out of me…”
3 was staring at 4. 4 was staring at 3 with an emotion he identified way too quickly.
“Shush… Don’t tempt me right now. After work you can”
“Bummer”
3 gave him a quick peck on the lips.
“Too bad! Now work, slave” he said jokingly as he then left outside to finally take the yelling costumer’s order.
4 sighed, getting himself together. He couldn’t fail 3. He already did bad enough today.
The day went by rather decently. Even if the feelings didn’t leave. They festered in their minds. Almost unkillable. With so much guilt. Rage. Anxiety. Love. So much.
Hard to bear. Too hard.
The night grew closer. Mario excused himself for a walk from gaming. 
It felt like he was in a bubble. The world felt unreal around him. So many things happening. Weighing on him. He didn’t want any of this. He wondered if he deserved it anyways. Pain. Pain. Pain. Love. Pain. Guilt. Pain. Sadness. Love. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Guilt.
He ran and ran until he felt his soul reach back to Earth. He looked around, it was dark. Just a dark night. It was comforting. He sat down in the grass looking up at the sky. Being alone was like medicine. Sure, he enjoyed his time playing with his friends as well. Especially with Puzzles. He actually managed to beat Mario in smash because he got distracted with him. He may have a competitive heart but it’s also really stupid. Nevertheless, the grin and cheer of Puzzles made it feel like Mario won instead. Won guilt.
Guilt.
Guilt.
Was it his fault that SMG4 was acting that way? How could he ever make sure this didn’t happen again? He cared so much about him. He wanted to make things better for him so badly. 
Love.
Puzzles. He… 
Guilt.
He couldn’t ever hurt him. Even if he was forced, he’d fail to. 
So there’s only one person he could actually hurt.
He went back inside. The thought not leaving his mind. 
But he pretended. He pretended he was fine. But it was eating him up.
There was only one person he could actually hurt. For the benefit of his best friend.
And nobody noticed a thing. 
He went back home with Puzzles.  Nobody noticed.
He got home and had a shower. And still, nobody noticed. 
He told Puzzles he’d be back after a midnight snack. He still didn’t seem to notice.
Mario left the room. With steps that felt heavy but were lighter than a feather. He didn’t need Luigi to know. He took all sharp utensils out of the drawers. cutting himself in the process. It hurt.
But it didn’t do a thing. It was like the scene changed and his hands weren’t even hurt now. As pristine as ever. he bashed his hands on as many sharp edges as possible. Hoping for something to stick but nothing. It was like the world was against him hurting himself.
He cursed to himself as he tried again and again. While his hands didn’t retain even a sign of hurt, his blood still remained. Odd. He did feel a bit light headed. He tried to stab himself as well, in as many places as he could think of but it all yielded the same result of nothing truly sticking. But that might have been from him concentrating so hard on hurting himself. To get him out of this hell he put himself into. He made a big mistake. If only he waited enough inside that void for the meme guardians to save him. If only he didn’t feel a sort of kinship. If only he didn’t start liking Puzzles. If only it was so easy to cut him out of his life. If it was only so easy to make SMG4 happy. If it was only so easy for Mario to be happy. To not worry. To not feel guilty. To not feel like the cause of everything bad happening.
He felt frustrated, not knowing what he could use.
Puzzles appeared, soft light coming from his room as Puzzles seemed to turn on a smaller one. It gave him a glow. Like a saviour.
“Mario? What are you doing?” Puzzles asked, trying to keep back just how worried he was.
Mario didn’t react.
If only he didn’t take out the piece. If only he didn’t feel bad for it.
The piece…
The piece. 
Mario, without a word, bolted for the door, leaving in record speed. Puzzles went after him.
He ran after him as much as he could. But he couldn’t keep up.
He cried, holding it right at the scar. The ties. It hurt. It hurt from the pain Mario felt.
Puzzles locked eyes with the ground, concentrating. The energy, he felt it connecting the 2 of them. He searched in it. A blinding power. 
And he concentrated on it further. He wanted this to be over so badly it brought physical results.
He stopped Mario in his tracks. With only his mind. He finally managed to catch up and catch Mario in his arms.
Puzzles felt warm and comforting. The light was still strong but slowly dimmed as Puzzles held Mario in his arms.
They didn’t need to speak a word. Mario tightly hugged back, crying into Puzzles’s shoulder. 
They were there for a while. 
Just in each other’s arms, settled in silence. They understood. As much they could.
Mario’s sniffles slowly calmed down. Puzzles got up, with his arms still wrapped around Mario as he began to walk back right to their room.
Even the walk was silent but both sure were thinking. Especially as they passed by the painful red reminder. Puzzles felt like he got there too late. That he should’ve listened to the signs earlier. At least he still caught Mario from doing something bad. 
They got in their room. Puzzles settled down.
“Listen…” Puzzles started carefully “You don’t need to explain yourself if you don’t want to. That’s fine. I know you’re going through a lot I can feel it and I’m sorry… I wish I could help you more. You… helped me and… here I am… making life hell for you…”
Mario grabbed Puzzles’s head. He had a rather firm grip. They were looking at each other.
Puzzles still had that guilty look.
“I’m really sorry, Mario I-”
But before he could say another word, Mario pressed a kiss on Puzzles’s screen, immediately shutting him up. 
“You’re so much, Puzzles”
Puzzles didn’t even know what to say, his screen was just increasingly heating up. In fact he was way too hot. Mario took his hand away from his face as even through his gloves he could feel the heat becoming too hot.
“Ouch, you could fry an egg on your face” Mario tried to joke. 
Puzzles seemed frozen until he slammed Mario down and held him. He held him so hard. Something about that just made him open up more than anything else. He felt like his soul was ripped open and it felt better than anything he ever felt. 
Mario felt a bit helpless under the weight of Puzzles. Not that he minded. It was actually kind of comfortable. 
Mario wondered what SMG4 would think.
And just as that thought crossed his mind, Puzzles rose up, straddling Mario, face to face.
“What are you thinking?” Puzzles asked, a sort of carefulness carrying in his tone. Showing how cautious he was but especially just how much he cared.
Mario felt hot himself, which was obvious as Puzzles screen wasn’t exactly dim enough to hide that.
“I want you”
That stopped both. Now you’ve done it!
The 2 just stared at each other.
“I need you” Puzzles one upped the other, leaning a little closer. 
This felt like a dream.
Mario pulled Puzzles’s head down enough to press another kiss on it. 
How could this feel so natural? Brain in havoc.
As another kiss. Another move. The comfortable pressure. A bite.
A bite?
A bite into the neck. But a gentle one at Puzzles’s neck, which slowly intensified. It was like Mario knew exactly how to get to him. It felt like this could escalate further before Puzzles stopped Mario from another silly little move up his sleeve.
“We should sleep…” he said.
“But…” Mario looked at him with the biggest eyes.
“No buts” he sounded a little cranky.
“I love you”
Oh. Oh alright. That really did it. Well, no stopping now!
They slept in for quite a bit. Sure wonder why.
Luigi decided not to bother them, considering some… things he heard in the night while passing by to go to the bathroom. Better not to bother them.
They took a while to wake up but first Mario did. At least he got time to admire Puzzles in a different way… At least as much as he could from where he was, locked in the hold of him. Honestly, he looked a bit more freaky in the light seeping in but that honestly just made Mario adore him more. With a body that looked so machine yet bore scars that felt like flesh. Maybe part of the reason he didn’t want to show skin. He didn’t know something like that was possible. Adoring Puzzles even more, especially so openly. I mean after what happened… would be a little concerning if he wasn’t… Or at least confusing.
While he could admire Puzzles till the heat death of the universe, Puzzles stirred at some point too.
“Morning, Mar” he said, still kinda sleepy.
“Mar? I like that” 
“Mhmm…” Puzzles cleared his screen a bit, as if to wash the sleepiness away. As he took in his surroundings more, he felt the heat… his fans could barely keep up.
“I-I thought I dreamed that” 
“I’m happy you didn’t”
“Yeah….… me too… sure did feel like a dream too… I… felt like I wasn’t fully… in control? I don’t know”
Mario grinned.
“That’s one way to describe wanting Mario so badly”
Puzzles blushed.
“You’ve no shame!”
Mario laughed at the response.
“You’re not wrong”
Puzzles got up and started dressing up. Mario couldn’t resist looking. Even doing the fuckboy expression, biting his lip.
But when Puzzles looked at him he looked away, as if he was innocent. They continued this until Puzzles looked at Mario rather annoyed and half dressed.
“I know you’re staring at me! You don’t need to”
Mario looked down, a lovestruck grin on his face.
“Mario can’t help it. You’re nice to look at”
“Am… Am I?”
“Yeah” Mario trailed off, slowly caressing Puzzles’s calf that was closer to him
He almost gave in again. 
“No! We have to prepare! We have a whole trip to go on!”
“Buuut Mario loves youuu!!”
“Not gonna work this time. Love you too though”
Puzzles seemed to be able to finally get dressed while Mario was melting on the floor. Melting with love. That’s all that was in his head. Nothing else right now. If only that could last forever.
Mario got up, grabbing stuff to dress up as well.
Puzzles was staring at his back.
“Ayo? And you shame Mario for staring?”
Puzzles brushed it off, reaching to a spot on Mario’s back. It looked burnt but in technicolour. It stung, pain coursing through Mario’s body.
“Does this hurt?”
Mario cried out as he fell over but it was too comical to take it seriously.
“Oh I’m sorry, dear! I didn’t know I ended up hurting you!”
“It’s fine!! Mario’s fine!” he got up “Mario will just..- continue on without a shirt for now”
“Yeah, I’m really sorry though. I didn’t mean to hurt you at all” he cupped Mario’s face in his hands. Mario leaned into it.
“You’re really affectionate with Mario now” he grinned so hard about it, even Puzzles couldn’t interpret this in a negative way. If he did, he’d have to be an idiot for that. And one bigger than Mario at that.
“Is that a problem? I’ll stop” he grinned, teasing Mario as he took his hands back.
Mario huffed in response.
“Mario loves affection… Mario loves you” the shyness compared to his previous behaviour- the difference was staggering! Puzzles found him adorable either way. Oh, wasn’t he such a weird combination of lovestarved and a hopeless romantic for this silly italian? Maybe it’s not exactly like in TV but he would lie if he said he wasn’t happy. He hoped nothing would come between them. He really did hope.
Maybe a tiny bit of worry in the back of his mind. Just the sliver of a chance that something could go terribly wrong. 
“Well, time to pack” Puzzles got up after thinking for a while. Mario looked at him like he was expecting something.
“What?” he asked.
“You forgot to say it back…”
Puzzles sighed and raised Mario up in the air by his armpits.
“I love you too, silly man”
The new name Mario got for himself visibly flustered him. Though that quickly turned into joy.
“Mario IS silly!! The silliest!!”
“And do you know what silliest men do?”
“Love their TV men?”
Puzzles chuckled.
“Maybe. But packing for vacation first and foremost”
Mario sighed.
“Okayy” 
Puzzles put him down.
Puzzles started to pack for himself, taking his sweet time making sure his stuff is as compact and perfectly packed as possible. So good in fact that Tetris players would be jealous of his skills. He laughed at his little joke in his head. He was SO smart. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Maybe what they did yesterday- really eased him up. Which was a good thing. He was kind of happy to have Mario, whatever that meant for the both of them.
As he finished, he noticed Mario struggling with it. He seemed to panic. 
“Dear, are you not good at packing?” Puzzles sat beside him, looking to see he indeed had quite the mess in his suitcase.
“Luigi usually does it for Mario” Mario said, feeling a little ashamed.
“Hey, I’ll help you! I’ve already done mine”
And so Puzzles basically packed for Mario as well. Just as neatly as for himself. Mario watched each hand movement and gesture Puzzles did, like a cat trying to calculate when to pounce.
Mario grew impatient and reached out quickly, grabbing Puzzles’s hand.
Puzzles wasn’t sure how to react for a second. This wasn’t anything strange from Mario to him but he did catch him off guard. 
“Mar, dear… we can hold hands later”
Mario looked at him like a sad wet puppy. Puzzles sighed and grabbed him, placing in his lap. Mario gratefully took it as his rightful place, while Puzzles continued packing with some trouble while trying to inquire what else Mario needed. Who knew a man in his lap could be so distracting. He wasn’t sure if he was fully comfortable but it was also way too nice. He liked the closeness and all. But the weight felt strange and alien to him still. He didn’t know before how he exactly imagined cuddling but the weight was definitely something to him. Just a constant reminder of a presence to him. He was used to feeling lonely. Just because he was brainwashed it didn’t mean he forgot about that. So this presence… In general, as it had been in these past few days, the moment Mario took that piece out of him as well. He swore he felt this all was meant to happen when all that went down. He may have gone a bit crazy but… can you REALLY blame him?
They got done, they went out, seeing Luigi had packed everything else they needed for the somewhat short trip. He stared at the other 2, knowing, especially at Mario, considering he didn’t have a shirt on.
“Mario, do you plan to dress up?”
“Mario’s back really hurts, he can’t” he whined.
“It can’t be that bad- OH MY GOD” Luigi freaked out when he saw it “how did this happen??”
“I… I can’t recall right now…. could’ve been anything” Puzzles said, with little confidence. He didn’t lie but he wasn’t actually trying to be sincere either.
“I’ll see what I can do for your back” Luigi took Mario to the bathroom. Puzzles watched helplessly. He didn’t exactly want to get involved, as much as this was his fault.
He felt bad about it, awful even. He let one person get close to him and it felt like he already ruined it. Maybe now Mario is really only with him out of pity. Who would want to be around someone who hurt them? Especially at such a vulnerable time. He didn’t want the thought to fester. He really didn’t want to. But it did, like a virus, he could feel it in all that was left of his nervous system.
He wondered if he even deserved Mario in the first place. Or if he maybe only brought Mario suffering. And he still felt out of place. How could he fit into a tight knit group of friends anyways? 
And just as he got so deep, the brothers made it back, Mario looking grumpy with a shirt on while Luigi felt a little tired.
“Alright, let’s get going to SMG4’s, we’ll be late at this rate” Luigi said.
Puzzles carried the heaviest suitcases because he was actually the strongest of the 3 but also he just really wanted to occupy himself. And so he was quiet. And he didn’t say a thing about it but Mario noticed. And he didn’t like the silence coming from Puzzles. He wasn’t a therapist or anything but it didn’t exactly feel pleasant or nice. But he brushed it off for now. He just hoped he could make Puzzles feel better in some way or another. Probably in a way that doesn’t end up with him getting more toxic goop on himself that made his skin burn. He didn’t realise it yesterday but Puzzles felt… acidic? Weird stuff.
After a walk that felt longer than it should, they got to the crew. Everyone seemed ready and  were waiting for them. Nobody really felt negative outwardly about this except for 4. Though, he seemed to hold back, with 3 close to him. Puzzles felt this wasn’t going to be the easiest time. 
They got into a bus they rented for this. At least Puzzles was told it was rented but who knows with these guys. Not that he was really that against a bit of crime but he would rather be aware if he was made an accomplice in something like that.
What made him think that was the fact that there was a driver inside but they didn’t look very happy about having to do this. In fact, they looked rather scared. Puzzles decided to push the thought aside as he ascended on the bus the best he could with his tall build.
He sat beside Mario, Luigi went to talk with the others. Puzzles sat by the window. Due to the length of his legs, he actually took up 2 seats and Mario was kind of sitting on his leg. Not that he needed to, there would’ve been space for him elsewhere. But it seemed Mario was visibly very stubborn about sitting with Puzzles. 4 was increasingly bothered by this. 3 grew tired of this at this point, talking with Meggy and Tari instead. 
It was quite the long trip, it was a few hours. It was long with the emotions it had to drag with itself. It felt like it was anchoring time down, intentionally making it harder for time to go on.
But they got there, relatively in good spirit. 4 was really bringing it down. In his obsession to protect Mario he didn’t even notice it was affecting the others as well. In fact, most of the trip, 3 was quietly talking about how annoying he was right now to Meggy and Tari. Listing the ways he had to pander to at least somewhat calm him down which soon stopped working. Though, he tried to be cool about it because he was worried too. He didn’t hate 4 for this, he knew it must be harder for him. But this was beginning to become a lot for him. As much as he loved him, with his whole heart, his mental state kind of reminded him of the perfect incident. It really scared him. Especially because what if something similar happened to him like then. With someone evil enough to take advantage of the situation. And make their life hell.
Regardless, they were there now, packing out to a rather large apartment type of building by the beach. It had enough rooms to house everyone. Luigi kindly asked to be in a different room from Mario and Puzzles, which left the crew questioning for a second. Regardless, he somehow ended up with Saiko and Melony.
They took out the guest bed for him. He put his stuff down neatly.
“So, how come you didn’t want to stay with Mario this time?” Saiko asked, suspicious of this. Melony was sitting on the bed while sorting out her suitcase to take her laptop out she brought for the trip. She was listening though.
“Ah well…” Luigi sighed, a bit annoyed.
“It can’t be that bad” 
“I’m pretty sure they had sex yesterday night”
That shocked both girls, even Melony looked up from the stuff she pulled up to sift through. She recently got into hacktivism to pass the time so it was related to that. Some kind of an article from someone she looked up to.
“Are- Are you sure??”
“Yeah. I kind of- heard them. I OBVIOUSLY didn’t want to” he sighed again. It wasn’t the fact that he found it weird or bad but it was still kind of mind boggling to think about. Especially because just before Mario was crying to him about crushing on Puzzles and now this? Things moved fast with these 2.
“Huh…” Saiko thought for a bit “I see it honestly”
“Mario did have that kind of glow to him” Melony commented which made both look at her weird.
“Nah, he actually burned his back with- whatever comes out of Puzzles’s screen. I don’t know how they did that and why but I don’t need to know”
“BURNED??” both girls yelled in unison. 
“Yeah. I actually had to treat it for him today so he could wear a shirt at least while we get here. It looked pretty rough”
“Mario and the things he gets into I swear” Saiko didn’t know whether to laugh or feel annoyed. Maybe a bit of both if she had to be honest.
“I just hope SMG4 doesn’t freak out too much if hears about this” Luigi thought out loud, concerned. Even scared for his brother.
“Why would he? It’s kind of none of his business” Melony said.
“He really seems to hate Puzzles. I don’t really get it but…”
“I’ve noticed” Saiko was annoyed too “Look, I get it, he was bad but there was a reason for that. Besides, he IS dating SMG3, he’s so unreasonable”
“I have a feeling he just wants to protect Mario but… I’m thinking he might have been doing the opposite…”
The 2 looked at him, at the brink of the worry rising in them. 
“Go on” Saiko said finally.
“I uh… woke up to a pool of blood in the kitchen. I don’t know how it got there… it… could be Mario’s…And there was no sign of struggle. Nothing knocked over or anything, just a single misplaced knife and a pool of blood… it led me to believe that he… he…”
They were looking at him shocked. Luigi finally broke down. The 2 girls scrambled to comfort him, Melony as much as she could with her laptop in her lap. They were just hoping the worst wouldn’t happen. Hopefully.
After a bit of time passed, they heard knocking at their door.
Turns out it was 4, he was gathering everyone to come down. 
The 3 tagged along, following him along with the others.
A big part of the crew was there, with the Mario brothers, the meme guardians, all 4, Melony, Saiko and Puzzles of course. Meggy and Tari decided to stay in their rooms for a bit. The bus driver seemed to vanish for some reason. As they went out they noticed Boopkins was already in there with Bob who had a bright pink donut pattern floaty. He also had those gaudy kind of sunglasses that were gold so it kind of balanced out.
Saiko slowly entered the water, helping Melony out while Mario quickly charged in the water, splashing people on the way. 4 ran after him, yelling about manners. There was something unsettling about his tone of voice but he didn’t say anything wrong. Yet it remained eerie regardless. Puzzles also silently wondered when 4 would mention Mario’s back. He was surprised he didn’t, maybe it was the reason his tone of voice felt so unsettling. Like he was expecting him to lash out again. BUT he knew 4 saw it, he saw that he saw it. And it was terrifying.
1 and 2 set up chairs and parasols so they could enjoy the beach without too much sun. They were also seemingly discussing important meme guardian business as they usually would. 
Puzzles decided to stay back, quietly, sitting just barely in the water. He didn’t want to interfere with 4 and Mario. His reaction to Mario’s back was already scary enough for him. Not even a word, just looking at him so deeply judgmentally. The thoughts reemerged, the idea that he really didn’t deserve any respect. That he deserved a life meant for loneliness and nothing else. Just like how he was before. It would probably be easier. If only Mario let him die instead, he wouldn’t need to be such a black sheep within such great people. He could have moved on from a painful life. He could’ve ended it there. it could’ve been so good.
“Oi, you don’t want to come in deeper?” 3 asked Puzzles, which shook him out of the awful thoughts.
“No… Don’t want to disturb Mar and SMG4 having fun. I think they deserve it”
3 sighed.
“You’re selfless for being lonely for so long. I would be so much more jealous”
“Jealous?”
“You obviously love him, no? I know the signs. Way too well”
Puzzles heated up at how easy he was to read.
“Oh dear… I didn’t know it was that obvious”
“So then? Don’t you just… want him by your side?”
“I… I don’t know if I deserve him” he got rather quiet.
“Blue is a dumbass, don’t let him tear you down”
“But is he really? I.. even hurt Mario”
“Hurt him?”
“Uh… Not important how”
3 stared at Puzzles. Puzzles stared back.
“Oh-.. kay but… really. I don’t get you”
“I made life harder for him. He had… an episode of sorts yesterday. He doesn’t take SMG4’s behavior well and it feels like it’s my fault… I mean if I was just… dead… he wouldn’t”
“Y’know, 4 and I cause each other problems all the time.”
“I think this is different”
“I used to try to terrorise him. We were some… awful people to each other. Worse than what you are for Mario. And we still got here. You know how?”
“No…”
“Love prevails… as much as I hated to admit it before”
“You think so?”
“Definitely. And because of you and that shitty piece of that damned box, I learned it very intimately”
“Sorry about that..”
“Thank you”
“You what now?”
“It might sound messed up but I needed that I think… We both needed it. I never realised before how stubborn 4 was actually about me. I never would’ve figured out if it didn’t get so bad. We might still be here, not dating but still painfully pining if it wasn’t for you”
“I assume you’re joking”
“No. We were a hopeless case” 3 laughed.
Puzzles reacted with chuckling as well.
“Well, I just hope I can somehow… convince 4 that I’m good enough for Mario”
“Way better way to think. I’m going in now, good luck”
3 left in, jumping on 4 and pushing him in the water with a swift and calculated move. Puzzles chuckled at the sight, especially as then they begin to playfully fight. 4 was way less freaky with a smile on his face, having fun. He almost wished that could be a sight that would look at him that way. Just a sliver of acceptance for him. 
He looked up at the sky, thinking stuff through. So many things he wanted to do. And number 1 on his list was to make 4 like him, whatever it would take. He felt like he was trying to achieve the approval of a protective father. While no, it was just his dear’s bestie.
He wondered how he could even do that. It definitely wouldn’t be him trying to show off with his skills. 4 would think he was shallow and maybe even think he was planning something worse secretly. If he poured his heart out, 4 probably wouldn’t listen either. Maybe Mario could put in a good word for him? Or the others, as much as they can. Convincing 4 that he wasn’t evil anymore was way more trouble than what his ideas could change. He sighed.
He suddenly jerked up at the sensation of someone poking his shoulder several times. It was Mario.
“What’s up, Mario?”
“You were sitting here, alone”
“I didn’t want to disturb your time with SMG4”
“Mario has space for everyone”
“SMG4 is questionable in that regard”
Mario could only sigh in response as he leaned onto Puzzles’s shoulder.
They spent time silently, it was maybe a bit too silent for Mario. It looked like he was out of energy.
“Say…” Puzzles started awkwardly after a while.
“Hm?”
“How’s… your back”
“It was totally worth it”
“That’s- That’s NOT what I asked”
“But that’s what Mario cares about”
“YOU… You’re so shameless” Puzzles couldn’t help but smile.
“Maybe. But you love Mario either way”
“I sure do”
They stayed in comfortable silence. 
Meggy and Tari finally arrived as well. Meggy had her hands behind her back, nothing suspicious. The grin on her face was definitely not suspicious as well.
She looked around, looking for the right victim to strike. She spotted the one least suspecting it: Bob, looking half asleep on his silly floaty. She aimed with precision champions would get jealous about. She then shot, water sprung out of her gun, hitting Bob just right, knocking off his glasses.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR??” he shouted, looking around for  the culprit.
Meggy and Tari were loudly laughing about this so it didn’t take a lot  for Bob to see them. 
“What, Bob? can’t handle a bit of water, eh?”
Bob didn’t reply verbally, instead he pulled out his mega deluxe golden water guns that matched his sunglasses he was so painfully separated from.
And from here, a war began as others brought out their guns too.
Puzzles panicked as he quickly got up and ran away, while Mario sadly got caught in the fight, he had no choice but to join in.
He found a place to hide, he was out of view by this large rock.
He sat down and tried his best to calm down. His circuits could’ve gotten damaged there badly. He didn’t want to think of the nightmare that would be fixing that kind of damage. He had to once and he still wasn’t sure if he fully recovered from it.
He just sat there, in the sand, still feeling the water dripping down on his lower limbs. The sand sticking to him felt uncomfortable but he could manage. 
He sighed, laying against the rock. His mind felt a little empty. He didn’t exactly expect to be left alone like this. Maybe it was just his brain playing tricks on him but he felt uneasy for some reason.
That reason turned out to come realy quick by. SMG4. Just the 2 of them. 
“AH!!” Puzzles got surprised by 4’s presence as he stared him down as he was good for nothing.
“I’ve got a few words for you” he said, it seemed he wouldn’t waste his time with useless small talk.
“Yeah?” Puzzles was scared.
“The bruise on his back was you, wasn’t it? What did you do to him?”
“I uh…” Puzzles got quickly nervous “You don’t need to know that”
One of 4’s eyes twitched. He was NOT happy.
“If I find out you’re controlling him this way, you’re dead”
“I’m not! I promise. I care about him too, okay? He hadn’t been doing well”
“Like I’d believe you. If you really aren’t controlling him you would tell how he got the bruise”
“I said you don’t want to know”
“It was clearly you”
“Yeah, but you don’t need to know how”
“What could be worse than fucking mind control goop??”
“...Acidic…” Puzzles turned away, honestly thinking about it just made him heat up all over again.
“Acidic??” 4 was unsure what to think. He was trying to be mad but he was more lost on where this was going.
“And it… got on his back on accident… I didn’t mean to, we… got carried away” Puzzles tried to leave out the most important part.
“C…Carried away? With… WIth what?” 4 was left confused as he was trying to figure it out. But Puzzles wasn’t replying anymore, instead strongly trying to avoid eye contact with 4.
“Did…” it clicked for him “Holy fuck, Mr Puzzles, did you fuck my best friend??”
Puzzles grew visibly more nervous.
4 was left more confused if anything.
“I-  I don’t know what you’re planning with… all this you’re doing but you’ll NEVER convince me”
“I get that…”
“Blah blah I can’t hear your pitiful acting” 4 left, not listening to Puzzles’s words which actually were as sincere as they get.
“It’s okay…” Puzzles got up “I just wish you didn’t ruin stuff this way for other people” he said that last part under his breath, which 4 luckily didn’t end up hearing.
“You know, I really don’t get your deal” 4 said.
“I have no deal. I just wanna live again”
“That’s what they all say”
“Didn’t SMG3 have a similar thing”
“Unlike you, he wasn’t a parasite on other people”
“I… was invited”
“Maybe if you had a spine you would have declined”
Ouch.
“Maybe… It would be easier for you, would’t it? For the both of you. If I were just… out of the picture”
4 didn’t say anything. When it was said outloud like this it felt… different.
Puzzles continued.
“I want you to get one single thing through your head if it won’t be anything else” Puzzles said, glaring at 4 “You can believe I’m still a villain all you want, you can believe I want to hurt people all you want. But if you do this to the detriment of Mario’s mental health and constantly try to infantilize him with trying to ‘’’’’’’care’’’’’’’’’’’ for him, thinking you know so much better than everyone else, just know you’re annoying everyone else in the process. And hurting Mario more than you’ll ever realise.”
And with that, he left 4 dumbfounded. He wasn’t even sure how to react. This GUY trying to lecture him?? What the fuck did he know about life anyways??
He stomped off, far away from everyone as he went back inside. He didn’t want to see anyone then. He needed to see some funny memes. If they could even help him at this point.
Mario noticed this. He felt awful again. Even Puzzles joining back didn’t quite help.
Especially because 4 seemed to have left for good. The silence he left felt louder than anything.
“Dear, are you okay?” Puzzles finally asked him.
Mario couldn’t verbally respond without crying so he just shook his head.
“If… you’re worried about SMG4… I kind of talked to him.”
“Wh… What did you say to him?” Mario asked, though he did tear up in the process.
“Just… something he really needed to hear. A piece of my mind”
“You shouldn’t hurt him… he doesn’t deserve that”
“He WAS hurting you, no?” Puzzles grew a bit frustrated and spoke a bit louder, gaining their friends’ audience.
“Is this about 4?” 3 asked, stepping into it.
“I just.. I told him that he’s hurting Mario with his bullshit.”
“It’s- not-” 
“Yeah, it’s so easy to see! Mario looks miserable ever since 4 started being overprotective” Meggy chimed in.
Mario felt uneasy.
“Guys-”
“Yeah, you guys are right, even I’m upset about it” Luigi joined in after listening for a bit “I’m WELL aware”
“Please just-”
“I’m so sad he’s been causing so much trouble! If only we could all just get along” 
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP” Mario broke, scaring everyone.
“Oh, dear…? Are you…”
“You guys are being so mean about Mario’s BEST friend. Sure, he is an asshole but he’s MARIO’S asshole” he got up and left the group, aiming to search for 4, leaving everyone there stunned. Puzzles felt bad.
“I… really thought I was doing the right thing” Puzzles felt guilt wash him over.
“You tried” 3  pat him on his back.
“I just feel like I can’t make things right. Like things won’t ever be perfect”
“Well, with people like us around, it won’t be” 3 tried to be reassuring “but we can try to make it work, you know, love prevails”
“Aww, 3, didn’t know you were giving away advice like this now” Meggy giggled.
3 tried to shush her.
Puzzles smiled at the interaction.
“Is it bad if I need time to  figure out how I can make it work?”
“We’ll be here for you either way” Tari said, stepping beside him.
“Exactly! Cuz what else are friends for?” Luigi joined in.
“Aww you guys” Puzzles could melt “I’ll… really try my best!”
And he got wrapped in a brief group hug. Damn, did it feel nice to have friends!
Meanwhile, Mario was banging on SMG4’s room to no avail, screaming, crying for him to open up. 
“Please….. SMG4…….. This can’t go on… I know Puzzles was a bit mean to you but…. just please talk to me”
“Whatever you want to say you can say without opening the door” 4 said, quietly. It was hard to read his tone.
“I know you’re scared of Mario being tricked into an awful thing but he promises he’s not! If Mr Puzzles wasn’t actually nice he wouldn’t like him as much as he does! Mario knows you want to protect him but still- You shouldn’t feel so much burden over that! Mario doesn’t need you to worry” he was practically crying. He just wanted things to be okay so badly.
He sniffled there for a while.
“Hope you at least tried to understand me” he said, as if hope left him.
And then the world turned awfully quiet for 4. He thought for a while it was nothing. But that nothing really felt like something. As in that something bad could happen, and it could happen right under his nose without him doing anything. 
The anxiety rising in him after a few minutes got the best of him. He finally unlocked the door, even the unlocking felt painfully heavy and slow. He had not time for this shit.
“Mario?” he looked around, seeing no sight of the italian. He grew more worried as he called out again, receiving no response.
He went around in the rooms. He went to check all of them, he was in none of them. Although, something caught his eye about 1 and 2’s room. Something very important. But he wouldn’t go that far… right? Right? 
Okay, now he was REALLY worried as he barged out the door with force that could’ve broken it if it didn’t open so easily as he tried to find any clues where Mario could have gone. This was BAD.
Puzzles could feel it too. He excused himself as he went looking for Mario himself.
As he did, he found 4 first instead.
Puzzles glared at 4. 4 glared at Puzzles.
Time seemed to stop.
After glaring enough both sighed. Which made them look at each other with judgement all over again.
“We should stop this” Puzzles said, begrudgingly. He was holding it back but damn 4 didn’t do much to show he’s good to be around.
“You’re right” 4 sighed, defeated.
“Let’s just… try and find Mario”
“Yeah”
The 2 went on silently, which was the most peaceful they had been around each other.
“You know…” 4 started.
“This isn’t the time”
“I’m just worried over what he might be doing”
“He’s hurt, I know that”
“Duh, idiot”
Puzzles rolled his eyes.
“What do YOU know anyways?”
“He took the godbox piece”
“He did WHAT????”
“I… I noticed it wasn’t in SMG1 and 2’s room anywhere when I looked around to try and find him.”
“Oh my god…”
“Yeah I… god I feel so bad…”
“That’s the first step”
“YOU’ve got nerve”
“SMG4… I get it, you’re jealous, he told me he’d go over to sleep and even cuddle you. I’m… not trying to steal him away”
4 blushed at the mention of it.
“Me? Jealous? No… No I…”
“He IS your best friend so of course you care a lot. I… don’t blame you but you did go too far”
“... I just… can’t help being anxious I guess? It feels like anything can be out to get us at this point…”
“Look… SMG4. I’ll promise you something. I’ll let SMG1 and 2 do all the things and tests to confirm I have no ill will anymore, no godbox manipulation. Don’t you know how it feels? You… become… something else…”
“It’s… scary…”
“I’m sorry if I scared you too”
“Yeah…though, how do you know the fact that the godbox manipulated us before?”
“Sometimes… it’d whisper things. The piece had a faint voice”
“A… A voice??”
“Of course… It would tell me what to do and manipulate my senses to think I’m doing the right thing. It would also tell me some information I could use to my advantage. And sometimes it would utter words I couldn’t connect anywhere. Sometimes I wonder if… the piece itself went insane…”
“That’s… scary I’m… I’m sorry. For… everything these past few days I guess”
“I’ll only accept if you accept me too”
4 stared at Puzzles.
“Maybe after we save Mario from doing something stupid”
They walked for a while. The quiet wasn’t so uncomfortably tense anymore. Puzzles found 4 a lot more likable when he wasn’t swearing at him and staring daggers into him. As they walked they spotted Mario at a cliff, his back turned to them. His arms in front of him, holding the piece. He seemed lost in it.
“Mario!!” Puzzles shouted for him as he and 4 got closer and sped up.
Mario turned a bit too fast, slipping off the edge.
Puzzles and 4 jumped after him with not much thinking. Puzzles caught both of them, utilising his long arms. 4 was too busy fearing death to actually object against it. None of them wanted to die, so badly too. Like a sense of determination crossing across them like electricity, light engulfed all 3 of them, slowly slowing their fall and making them land safely. Though, they barely realised that with how bright and strong the light was. Puzzles noted it was stronger than when he kept Mario back last time. But it felt similar.
As they finally came back to their senses from such an adrenaline inducing fall, 4 picked Mario up, cheering he was saved. But Puzzles did too. And he was taller so with that 4 came too. 4 didn’t mind it much but it did feel weird being lifted up like this. While Mario was SO confused.
“I’m so glad we managed to save you” Puzzles expressed his happiness with words.
“Mario thought he’d die for good”
“Did you want to?” 4 asked.
Mario lowered his head, not answering. But then for a different reason as he looked in his hands, seeing what the piece had become. It went form the pit of darkness it had, turning blindingly bright but still somehow safe to look at. It also seemed to constantly shift in shape. The other 2 looked at it too, just as confused.
“Did we… do this?” Puzzles asked.
“Guess so” 4 replied.
Mario looked at one of them then the other.
“You 2 are not trying to kill each other anymore?”
“We… talked” 4 said “I’m sorry for how I acted, Mario… I really am”
“Mario knows”
“I’m also sorry. Lashing out wasn’t exactly the… best choice I made today”
“You both need therapy”
The 2 laughed.
“We’ll make it work. Somehow” Puzzles reassured Mario, finally putting both of them down.
“And we need to show 1 and 2 what happened to the piece. I don’t know whether they’ll be super excited about it or if they’ll be bummed out they can’t examine it further”
“Probably a bit of both”
“Mario’s…” Mario spoke up, changing the subject “MARIO’S SO HAPPY HIS FAVOURITE PEOPLE ARE GETTING ALONG” he was jumping with joy. It only just fully settled in then.
That was when the others got there.
“You guys are okay??” Meggy was running in the front.
“We were so worried!” Boopkins ran ahead, although he was trying to catch his breath.
“Sure are but” 4 pointed at the piece that changed in Mario’s hands. 
Everyone was shocked, 1 and 2 were in fact so shocked they both fell over. There was a lot to tell and the crew was sure shocked, especially at the fact that 4 and Puzzles talked it out. The piece went back to its rightful place and then they could finally have the few days they’d spend there be chiller. There were still problems but it wasn’t anything the crew couldn’t bear. One could say that they weren’t perfect but they still found integrity.
For now. You know the saying, nothing lasts forever! However for now, things are okay, which was what really mattered.
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frozen-mars · 5 months
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Tis been awhile, but I return with offerings of ZombieCleo!
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feroluce · 7 months
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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.
Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks
Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.
And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.
So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.
He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.
Caelus doesn't have any of that.
He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.
And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.
So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-
("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")
-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.
Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.
(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)
((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."
And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.
And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.
The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))
#caelus#sampo koski#hsr caelus#hsr sampo#sampo & caelus#honkai star rail#hsr#my fics#me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu#me today: ANGST#honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though#it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF#and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo#I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone#her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio#but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0#because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge#and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people#and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere#Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros#and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend#he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk#listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh#it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha#because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing#but you can hear it#the heartbreak
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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wellhalesbells · 10 months
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LIAR YOU TOTALLY WATCHED ONE SEQUEL!!! 😉💜
https://www.tumblr.com/wellhalesbells/736050291745652736/friendraichu-jackironsides
HAHAHAHA, I should clarify that I just mean for super hero-y ones. I mostly watch the first one and rarely watch the second (or anything after...... or remakes, lol), I think the only Marvel one I've seen in recent history is Thor: Ragnarok. Actually, the Spider-man franchise pretty much encapsulates how I interact with Marvel properties: I saw the first trilogy because it was new and exciting at the time, then they remade it too fast and I refused to pay for something I just saw, that was so recent in my memory from the release date I could still remember exact scenes from it (THERE WERE ONLY FIVE YEARS BETWEEN SPIDER-MAN 3 AND THE REBOOT - THAT IS NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ME TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN. HOW IS THAT ENOUGH TIME FOR ANYONE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT AGAIN???), then I watched the first Tom Holland one (fourteen years I can vibe with) and nothing that followed because that's generally when the gimmicks and cameos start in lieu of good story-telling, or they make it dark and gritty because that's the only way to ground this superhuman, right (I assume a random white guy: "Should we fridge a lady? Yeah, we should probably fridge a lady"). The first one generally at least tries to have a soul because they have to introduce the character and make you care about them but many of the ones that follow (the few I've seen from when the MCU was just starting out and I had hope *coughs*Iron Man 2, Thor 2, etc.*coughs*) are just cash grabs that don't try because you already love this character and there they are, right there, so money please!
Meg 2 however..... EPIC, NO NOTES. It knows if I was a shark girl, I was probably a dinosaur girl and it gambled correctly. That's what you're watching this for? Have three sharks and an unnecessary (probably stupid expensive) dinosaur intro that is nearly completely irrelevant to the story but that you will also not want to live without and for an extra special bonus: oblivious husbands and their brilliant daughter. Like. You got me nailed, my dude. Will watch every subsequent sequel, no questions asked.
#i do understand that spider-man is a bullshit studio thing#and that it's a marvel property that belongs to sony and i implied everything is under the mcu umbrella#(and i honestly don't fault them for remaking it. instead i just don't understand how there was an audience for it???)#but they're all guilty of the same shit for different but also EXACTLY THE SAME reasons#they want to fleece money from me. because that's how it feels: like i'm being swindled#they're not earning my money through good content but instead through brand recognition and shared cultural touchstones#YOU CAN'T HAVE MY MONEY MOUSE#sony you can when it's miles (that is a sequel i DID watch and that DID have a soul imo) :))))#something similar (cash grabs) are pretty much the exact reason i stopped reading marvel comics too#capitalism ruins everything#for a moral everyone knows *snorts*#also generally the sequels have bigger budgets and just to quote freckle...... sometimes things that are expensive are worse#great things sometimes come from people having to work within constraints and when you aren't given any....... terrible things can happen#like bbc sherlock lolol. AHEM#basically if i watch a sequel now it has to be a character i am VERY invested in so i'm willing to be burned - deadpool or miles#or it has to break containment from people who will go see anything with a marvel sticker on it to people who..... won't#and still recommend it - like ragnarok#(i wonder if NOT going the dark gritty route and instead having a fun story with a conflict that wasn't dependent on outdoing every#other conflict that came before it in this whole universe had aNYTHING to do with its success. hrm. it's a mystery!)#normally i would answer this privately but i had to explain about the sony thing so you would know i KNEW about the sony thing and then....#tag explosion and now it has to be public and i'm sorry i went on a mouse rant. I HATE THE MONOPOLY MOUSE I JUST DO.#IT'S BAD AND IT MAKES BAD LAZY THINGS THAT KILL CREATIVITY (AND NOW ALSO FUNDS GENOCIDE SO)#!ask
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-randomly sees a screenshot of jamie and lily from the city of bones movie, where they seem to embody jace and clary, and am once again sad that we didn't get a city of ashes movie-
#like. to be clear. i KNOW that the city of bones movie has flaws--and i can tell you what they all are--but for me at least the positives#outweigh the negatives#and one of those things is that the cast really was perfect imo (and a lot of other people's opinions too)#though that's not to insult the shadowhunters cast at all of course. i think they're great and did the best with what they were give#i. personally. just don't really like shadowhunters because of how much they changed from the books#and even outside of that--if i ignored book to show comparisons--at least with the first season (the only one i watched) a lot of the#choices they were making with their own rules they were making didn't make a lot of sense. though i hear it gets better if season one so#maybe i should give it another chance sometime...#but back to city of ashes... i feel like. if city of bones had done well. city of ashes could have been better than city of bones and even#more book accurate (since that was some fans' issues with the first film) since the studio would have realized there was an audience there#and to take it more seriously. we've seen that kind of thing before. like with how the twilight movies actually became more book accurate#after the first film was a success#though that's not the world we live in of course. -sighs- oh well#maybe someday we'll get a really good and accurate tmi adaptation#i'm also looking forward to/cautiously optimistic about the the infernal devices show. PLEASE don't mess it up. PLEASE#that's my--and many--fans' favorite of the shadow world series. and it could/should be SO good. PLEASE!
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miodiodavinci · 2 years
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i need to be asleep but i'm looking at the tax return money i have stashed away and wondering just how much of a quality upgrade i should make in terms of mixing headphones
#the brand i've been using has served me fairly well#but i don't know if they're still in production because the last ones i've ordered came worn/damaged and had to be returned#and my current pair is Quite Literally hanging on by a thread#(read: it is taped together with electrical tape and a large tongue depressor to replace the broken hinge)#(and has a small bead jammed into the cup joint to prevent it from swinging outwards)#(and i have to put a folded sock on my head to counteract the compressed headband foam)#so i've been thinking i ought to upgrade just a bit from the $20 range to perhaps the $50 range#but i'm staring at the company i'm thinking about ordering from and wondering if i should just#go ahead and spend a little more to get a slightly more sensitive and collapsible studio-level pair#but spending more is scary ! ! ! !#what if they're bad ! ! !#what if they sound terrible and feel bad and get lost in the mail when i try to return them ! ! !#or what if they sound so so good all my mixing things will sound terrible no matter what ! ! !#or well i'm not sure how to describe that last fear but i think it basically amounts to#what if it makes vocal synth voices sound bad somehow#ughhgh i know it'll be better for me in the long run to invest now while i have the option#because no doubt the more expensive pair will last longer and give me better quality results#(evidence: an astounding number of people reporting they've used theirs for 5-10 years with no sound decay)#as opposed to my current ones which i've had to replace every 3 years#$70 for potentially 10 years of good audio . . . .#which is roughly what i'd be paying with the cheap pair but with only mid-tier audio#h m m m m m#i'll sleep on it i guess . . . .
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I know I have a few followers. I know my content is sometimes conspiracy based. Bless your hearts because I must get your oxytocin and sera ronin levels pumping
Have some free advice
Good marriages are made with good genetic blueprints.
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musical-chick-13 · 9 months
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If I'm not careful, I'm going to get salty about stupid music opinions again.
#OTHER people's music opinions. not mine. MINE are great OBVIOUSLY.#OKAY OKAY. people can disagree with me over the quality of art that is ALWAYS 100% FINE#I just...idk. you can usually tell when the opinions are based on a sense of entitlement and elitism and like...EXTREMELY bad-faith#interpretations? most music opinions I disagree with are from the standpoint of just.#not understanding what the artist was trying to do or willfully ignoring the good parts because it wasn't specifically what YOU the#INDIVIDUAL LISTENER wanted.#(or--not quite as common but still prevalent--refusing to acknowledge the bad because that makes you feel better)#the thing is. when people who ACTUALLY thoughtfully put together lists/opinion pieces--critics like todd or diamond axe studios#or mr 96--even if I disagree with them they make their case in clear terms to the point where I see where they're coming from#you know like *I* didn't see the song this way (for good or for bad) but I can see how THEY would#plenty of people uh...do not approach music opinions like that lol. they'll just#call a band/artist a sell-out without looking at the wider context of their discography or evaluating possible reasons WHY#they would choose to move in that musical direction. they also. MUCH OF THE TIME. don't clarify what they MEAN when they say that either#(also people are waaaaaayyy too precious about clear genre divisions imo but. I don't have the brainspace to fully discuss that rn)#like ''sell-out'' doesn't mean 'has a poppier or more electronic sound' I'm gonna have to put that term on the shelf with the rest of them#unhinged lady screams about music#ugh I really gotta finish that 'discussing the best and worst of the punk goes pop/rock/etc. albums' project I started#(remember those? they sure were a thing that happened!)#maybe THAT'S the New Year's Resolution™ finish a fucking music critique video like I keep saying I will
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hickoryhorneddevils · 10 months
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actually one of the best things i have ever done for myself is decide to learn how to sit in the fact that other people will do kind things for me even if it's burdensome or hard to unexpected and i don't have to 'earn' it or 'make up' for it
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Ateez as Boyfriends [Explicit Ver.]
yet another collab with loren @eightmakesonebraincell. idk what this is but it's smut and it's a filthfest in here sooo MDNI!!
lmao when we think about it now we don't even know how we came to write this (speed write it more like) but this has collected dust in the drafts for a good while anddd it's our first time writing smut like this (minus my woo fic) so here we are :') Enjoy!
Hongjoong
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eye fucks you
literally when he is in the mood he will let his eyes scan you ever so slowly
tease.
i just think that most of the times you’ll be in the studio
and studio sex calls for you in his lap to get his attention
while his attention remains undivided on his pc
until you grind-
one wrong move and you’re done for
if he doesn’t want you to break his focus at that moment, he’s probably gonna growl and bite your shoulder with the promise of what’s about to come
and threaten you with things he would do to you once he is free
however, if you've succeeded?
immediately on to you
lips everywhere and anywhere on your body
tongue in your mouth
i feel like even if he tries to go slow, he’s the type to lose control in the middle of it
and go super intense and heated
loves it when his hands are on your hips and controlling your movement
the type to wedge his thigh between your legs as you make out 
and watch you become a mess as you grind on it
or when you’re sitting on him, he’ll hook your legs over his to stop you from closing them
he’ll finger you until you’re squirming in his lap
punish you for distracting him and being a bad girl
neck kisses he’s gonna leave pretty marks all over you
will praise the f outta you (not me censoring this.) 
will probably move around a lot during sex
like one moment you’re in his lap
next you’re on the couch, he’s on top of you
until you switch
and then he has you standing up and suddenly you’re pinned against the wall
will not miss a chance to go down on you
knows exactly how to make you cry
and i mean cry.
laughs against your throbbing core and the vibrations oh goodness
absolutely loves the feeling of your fingers gripping his hair in desperation
nips you everywhere
and when you’re finally begging him to give you what you want, that’s when he’ll let you have some moment of control
probably curses in pleasure
loves watching you on top of him but makes sure you know who’s in control (him)
he’s gonna spice things up when you’re reaching climax
i think i said he knows how to make you cry so go ahead and imagine
will overstimulate you before he wraps things up hehe
i just feel like his fingers on your clit right before you come and it’s 10x more intense
would love to come inside you when he can ;)
hongjoong would also probably record the audio of your moans during sex and when you climax (with consent ofc)
and on nights when he’s missing you he’ll play it through his headphones and touch himself wishing you were here
takes such good care of you when you’re done like you joke that he’s suddenly worried if you’re okay when he fucked you like there’s no tomorrow-
but really he’s all prepared he’s immediately making sure you have what you need- water, cuddles, round 2, you name it
will kiss your forehead as he assures you you’re his muse, the love of his life and all that sweet stuff :’)
you whine that you feel all sticky and gross
he definitely has an abundance of tissues and wet wipes in his studio
when people ask him why he has so many he tells them it’s for yknow cleaning
if you guys are back home in the shower though?
omg he is so soft and all about the romance
makes you feel so so loved
holds you in his arms for the longest time
or you’re in the middle of doing something and he grabs your wrist
and pulls you towards him with the biggest smile on his face
hands on your hips as he sways you around
and you just know that look in his eyes means he’s in the mood and he’s going to make this a memorable night for both of you
you’ll hook your arms around his neck and sway to the music that is in your heads
guided by his movements
he tells you what he’s feeling. no filters
and you appreciate that so much about him
would definitely have a post-sex playlist that he’s made with like slow candle-lit dinner vibes
plays it with a speaker in the bathroom as he presses long and lazy kisses against you
basically a very love-driven makeout session :((
hehe but he most definitely nibbles all over the marks he’s left on you with a sense of achievement
loves when you wear one of his shirts over just your panties as you go to bed together
it’s the possessiveness in him i’m telling you
he’s quick to fall asleep but you can see a faint smile on his lips as you caress his head or his face
and you tell him all the reasons you love him
you can swear his hold on you tightens even though he is fast asleep
and you’re going to wake up with him looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on :(( 
even tho you look like an absolute mess in the morning-
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Seonghwa
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tongue.
man has a mouth on him like have you seen his lips?
the prettiest lips in ateez 
and his tongue????
he is the best kisser in ateez fight me
he knows how deadly his tongue is
and he’s going to use that to his advantage
makeout sessions are gonna be next level with him
and when his tongue goes elsewhere-
like when he kisses your neck?
or anywhere for that matter??
you literally cannot breath
it’s like it’s turning him on too
makes the dirtiest noises you bet 
he loves the feeling of your thighs clenching around him because it means that you’re close
he praises you and tells you that you have the prettiest moans
loves that you’re making those sounds just for him
he’ll enjoy overstimulating you
he coos and tells you to give him one more orgasm baby as he digs his fingers knuckle-deep into you
he knows your body so well
he can tell exactly when you’re about to come
like, he’ll say “come for me” because he knows that’s what tips you over the edge
and then when he’s satisfied with how many times you’ve come for him
that’s when he gets started
when you guys are fucking there are two different moods
sometimes he likes to take it slow and worship your body
pepper kisses all over your face and anywhere he can reach
presses his body against yours like he has to be touching every part of your exposed skin
drags his length in and out of you slowly so he can feel every inch of you
will latch his lips onto yours and explore your mouth with his tongue
likes to hold your hand :’((( i love him so much
other times it’s hot and fast and needy
his hands roam all over your body and through your hair
rolls your nipples between his fingers to make your back arch 
moans into the kisses
bites your lower lip
either lets you run your hands wherever you want or pins them to whatever surface you’re on
you fist the sheets beneath you or grip his shoulders
he grunts and pants in between praises of how tight you are and how good you feel
before he’s coming hard into you
i’m convinced that when hwa comes his eyes roll back and he lets out the deepest moan
it’s so filthy his expression alone can make you reach your climax honestly
his warmth fills you up (pls use a condom irl)
and when he pulls out, the sight of his cum leaking out of you has him half-hardening again
he loves to see how he’s ruined you
and you best bet he’ll help clean you up-
with his mouth
he’ll hold your legs apart as you writhe from sensitivity
as soon as you both come down from your orgasms, it’s like all the dom has left his body
he literally becomes the softest when he’s doing aftercare like his touch is suddenly delicate and he’s holding you like you’re fragile
“sir, i’m pretty sure you’ve left bruises on my body but okay”
“ah, did i? shall i kiss them so they get better?”
and you grin bc you’re lovestruck
and he feels so proud that he made you smile bc that means you’re okay
literally every second sentence that comes out of his mouth will be praise
that you did so well for him
that you’re so beautiful
that you’re all that he could ever ask for
<33333
peppers soft kisses on your face and kisses your knuckles
brings you sth warm to drink and cuddles you all night
i feel like he’s the type to love feeling skin on skin when cuddling
especially after having sex
he just has his boxers on and you just have your panties on
and he loves to hold you close to him and just feel you next to him in such an intimate way :’(((
he can’t keep his hands off you but it’s completely innocent
traces little patterns and shapes on your back
splays his hand over your tummy
rests a hand over your chest bc he likes to feel your heartbeat
and he does it unconsciously too, even during pillow talk
you two can talk for hours about anything and everything deep into the night
it doesn’t even matter what the pillow talk is about all you two want is to hear each other’s voices
imagine hwa’s post-sex husky deep voice akjfldsg
but you two talk and cuddle for so long neither of you even realise when you’ve fallen asleep
in the morning he wakes up before you but he stays cuddling you until you wake up so that he’s the first thing you see <33
there’ll be lots of lazy kisses before he gets up to make you a cute breakfast
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Yunho
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eye fucks you pt 2
literally the way he just watches you at times
like he’s drinking in the sight of you
before he kisses you he’s going to cup your face and look at you for the longest time
and you can see a thousand undecipherable emotions in his eyes
hesitates a bit before he kisses you but once you’re into it he’s a changed man
idk about you but i feel like his tongue can do wonders
i just think he’s a natural at this he kisses you like he’s been doing it forever and will never get tired of it 
makeout turns heated pretty quick and one thing leads to another-
will be vocal during sex too like
he needs to hear you say some stuff before you proceed
he needs to hear your voice to confirm you’re feeling good
he’s pretty much driven on that
he aims to please you. 
his hands. need i say more?
he drives you crazy with his hands alone
even when they’re cupping your face or like holding you behind your neck
you love his hands in your hair
you love it when you feel his big hands anywhere on your body for that matter
especially when they’re gripping your thighs
and his long fingers omg
just a brush of them in the inside of your thigh or near your core and you’re done for
makes you a writhing mess before he will even touch you
will also pin you on nearest surfaces 
and lets his mouth and thighs do the rest
probably loves when you ride his thigh too as he makes out with you
to the point you almost come on that alone
he just loves when you want to be in control but he restrains you
and you gladly let him
will at times let you dom him
but he just thinks that you’re cute for trying
really, he’s watching all smug, watching you on top of him, waiting until he’s had enough
and then he’s flipped you
he’s pinned you to the bed and he dwarfs you grrr 
“now it’s my turn”
if you think cuddling while lovemaking is a soft trait? make it hard for yunho
like he’s just burying his nose in the crook of your neck while he pumps into you
spoons you from behind as he rubs his length against your ass
or kissing your temple or head and moaning against you
and oh goodness his weight on you when he’s on top of you i-
will mumble praise into your ear
“you’re so fucking wet baby” hdsjhjkdfhg
“you feel so good”
and you’ll def praise him in return he loves that
not afraid to experiment with you
and he’s always just so supportive of your wants and needs
he’s also fully capable of driving you insane like he can be a little shit sometimes-
his hand around your throat.
his hand being able to wrap around both of your wrists
loves to pin your wrists above your head
when he’s approaching his orgasm he’ll see what you need
probably loves it when you come together
and he’ll pump all that inside you he won’t stop
will remain inside for a good few moments until he pulls out
and then it's just another round of teasing each other as he takes care of you
“can we shower together now?” but you know it will lead to shower sex
“will you let me spoon you after i clean you up?”
“only if i don’t find your dick hardening against my ass in the middle of the night, yunho”
the teasing is just ramped up honestly
you two flick soap suds at each other
he smacks your ass and it startles you and you slip a little in the shower
he makes sure to catch you but you smack his chest as revenge even though you two are giggling
when you step out of the shower he’ll throw your towel over your head so it covers your face
the man runs out of the bathroom before you can throw the towel back at him
he’s just streaking through the house naked at this point
it takes a while for you two to calm down enough to actually get into bed
but there’s definitely another hour or two of very handsy teasing
mostly from him as you giggle at his antics
and lots of hypothetical discussions about things you guys could try out next time
but also not hypothetically because he would totally be down lol
he’ll be like “okay but what if we restrained your wrists to the shower curtain bar, do you think it’d break?”
and you say you can try next time but if it does break he’s paying not you
you’re just both a laughing mess in each other’s arms as you fall asleep
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Yeosang
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vanilla guy
he can move his tongue 180 degrees do you all know what use he can make of that?
he’s either super shy super shy~ or he’s gonna be the demon that we all know he is
his kisses range from shy to heated and rushed
like when he’s shy he’s all smiles and cautious touches 
but you can literally taste it when he’s desperate
because his body language changes significantly
suddenly he’s the most confident
kinda feel like lingerie really turns him on
like whenever you wear something lacy or revealing
his length is already hardening before he knows it
sometimes he tries to hide it
other times he comes right up to you and growls into your ear that he needs you right now
his favourite place to do it might be in the bed
he just wants to make sure you’re comfortable first and foremost
and i feel like he’s a switch
he has his dom days he has his sub days too
sometimes he just needs you to lead and he loves watching you when you take the lead
he lets you do whatever you want to him
like he’ll watch as you unbutton your shirt and slip off your bra
and when you lean down to take off his pants
he’ll let you kiss him and touch him however you like
but when you start teasing him?
i feel like he has a switch that goes off and bam he’s now in dom mode
and he’s suddenly flipped positions and he’s like “i’ve had enough sweetheart”
and he’s banging into you with no remorse
and you swear his beautiful deep voice does something to you makes you feral is what it does
tucks your hair out of the way as he pumps his length into you
holds your face :( he’s so precious grrrrr
swipes his thumb across your lower lip
daring you to try something like-
he’s a tease he knows what game you’re playing
and if you try to capture his thumb between your teeth he’s gonna be like ‘nuh-uh not so quick’
like he can be the sub and still be in charge how beautiful is that
bonus points if you make him laugh or make him shy during sex
you love to see it when you praise him and he gets all flustered
but boi does he know how to make you lose your shit too
esp when he’s in control and just running his hands all over your body
tracing all your curves as he drinks in the sight and praises you so. much.
as if he isn’t a walking sculpture himself :’)
loves watching your little reaction and catches on real quick
like if you writhe under him when he kisses your sweet spot? he’s gonna be all smug and you bet the night has gotten longer
because he will spend his sweet time there
and when he’s fingering you or eating you out he will do everything to get the best reactions out of you
aftercare is 90 percent him fussing over you 
even though you reassure him that you’re okay from under the mountain of blankets he’s piled over you
he literally treats you like a queen
also because he wants to give you everything that you might even potentially need
so he like
brings you a whole platter of warm tea, water, energy drinks, salty snacks, packets of lollies, chocolates, you name it
will also ask if you need painkillers or anything
you better give that man his aftercare too he deserves it
you slip him bits of chocolate or snacks 
sometimes after he’s had one of those days where he’s radiated dom energy or he’s teased you a lot
you bring it up with him and wiggle your eyebrows
like “so i’m your good girl, huh”
and he gets so flustered and shy and does his little giggle
but you never tease him too much, because you know that he can start to doubt himself or feel insecure
so you always make sure to tell him how good and perfect he is no matter what he does
he deserves all the love in the world <3
so after you let him fuss over you for a while you sort of just, fling up the side of your blanket and say
“get in here”
and he has such a cute bright smile as he burrows underneath the covers with you
sometimes he spoons you
but more often than not
you spoon him
and he feels so safe and loved whenever you hug him like that :’(
you love to run your fingers through his long locks because his hair feels super soft
but also because you can almost hear the purr that comes out of yeosang when you do it
he’s a precious baby :(
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San
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a switch nobody can convince us otherwise
he can be a hard dom
manhandles you, like have you seen the way he is with woo??
holds your jaw to make you look at him
or he gets up close and crowds your personal space
passes you the dirtiest looks
will stare at you for the longest time just to see what your reaction will be
loves it when you get flustered and shy 
doesn’t care if you’re in public his touches will look casual to others
but you’ve memorised what his hand placement means
like when his hand on your waist slowly lowers to your hip, you know it’s gonna be a long night
teases you during sex, like he’ll lightly drag his fingers around your upper thighs and on your lower stomach but never touching your core
and he’ll ask you what do you want
he wants you to be vocal and beg for him to touch you
and when you do he’ll rip away your clothes and go down on you like he’s starved
he unbuttons your clothes and unclasps your bra with one hand and that alone makes you so wet
fondles your breasts with one hand while he circles your clit with the other
he latches his mouth onto your neck and collarbones and sucks on your nipples
has your back arching from all the different sensations all at once
but he’s also the subbiest sub to exist
like can you imagine him whimpering underneath you
this time he’s the one begging
he begs to touch you
and he begs for you to touch him, kiss him, anything
he doesn’t care if there are people in the next room or if they can hear him
he just needs to be inside of you
man always does it like it’s his first time taking you 
like you’re blown by how much he can enjoy this every time it just gives you that confidence boost too
and he’s big on praise as well
loves being loud during sex 
makes the unholiest noises-
makes the most intense eye contact and if you dare shy away from him?
“look at me when i’m looking at you”
jksdhgjghjghksgh
^that’s your reaction btw 
his kisses become more messy as things escalate and he just
he wishes he could kiss you everywhere all at once
switches positions so many times but mostly because he needs to feel closer to you in every aspect
might have a thing for putting your legs over his shoulders as he pumps into you
will make you scream without a doubt
like his aim is to make you see stars and boi do you get lost
so you also love to return the favour
and he’s not all that hard to please all you have to do is push the right buttons and say the right things
but you prolong the process on purpose
because you too enjoy seeing him break under you
it’s just that he makes you feel so good about yourself 
he makes you feel like you’re everything he’s ever wanted and then some
will make you come on his fingers
and then lick them clean-
will make you come on his dick next
and break right after he can’t handle you becoming a mess on him
collapses next to you and laughs in disbelief because how good was that?
takes a few moments to gather himself, all the while caressing your skin 
and kissing you- the softest kisses
before he gets up and takes care of you
and he’s so so good at that
he’s cleaning you up, making sure you’re hydrated, helping you into bed and then the cuddlefest starts
lies against the pillows and then shifts you so that you’re basically half-lying on top of him
he loves when you rest your head on his chest, an arm and a leg slung over the top of him too
(half the reason he works out his shoulders and chest is so that you have more pillow surface area hehe)
in these moments he wishes he has three hands
one to hold you against him
one to caress and run through your hair
and one more to hold your hand with :(
he just has to settle for alternating between the three
and all the while he is just constantly. pressing. kisses. against the crown of your head
“i love you”
“i love you too, san”
and not even twenty seconds later
“i love you so much”
“i love you so much too, san”
repeatedly confesses his love to you because it’s true he loves you so much it’s crazy
and when he can hear the sleep starting to cling to your voice, he’ll wish you goodnight
with many more kisses to go along with it <33
he doesn’t let go of you once during the night
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Mingi
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have you seen his hip rolls-
okay from the start
9/10 times it starts with you cuddling
it’s all good and nice and fluffy and you’re watching something or just scrolling 
he just likes to be in physical contact with you in any way
one of you is mindlessly touching the other- very casual at first
casual kiss on your bare shoulder or you kissing his jaw or knuckles
until one of you is in the mood and starts touching the other with purpose
and wait until the other starts squirming visibly
if you’re in his lap? you’re gonna feel it before he can even tell you
and you turn around all smug
but he doesn’t give you time to react because he will kiss you
he’s also prob really big on makeouts
he just loves the feel of his lips on yours as if they’re made for each other
or his tongue inside your mouth and the way you move under him while he kisses you
will have a good proper makeout session before you proceed
his hands will literally travel everywhere
plays with your breasts as he kisses you
also he will kiss every inch of you
and when he goes down on you?
he knows his nose brushing against your clit is your undoing
and he takes advantage of it
the tip of his nose glistening undoes something in you-
will basically make out with your clit
and make you come multiple times on his fingers and tongue before he gives you what you want
those hands squeezing your hips along with that really don’t help-
eats you out like a man starved
but before that
he’s also the type to get his own fair share of oral
and you would love to please him as well
you want that
you love it when he rolls his hips, clutching your hair, whether his cock is in your mouth or inside you
and when you’re having sex even tho he gives dom energy, he likes you on top
he’s just gonna be holding your hips and making you bounce on him
he’s gonna slow it down, make it bouncy ;) 
your hands on his chest
he’s gonna watch you with those eyes
and groan a lot it fuels you
it drives him crazy when you snake a hand down to your front to circle your own clit
and when you climax and collapse against his chest, he’ll hold you steady against his chest and grip your ass
will plant his feet against the bed so that he can pump up into you
i feel like he can be pretty filthy in the best way
like he likes it messy
he wants to make you a mess in every sense
he will spill inside you all over you and be proud of it and look at the mess like it’s a work of art
and the air smells of sweat, sex and love <3
will probably prompt another round-
if he lets you have your way first, he’s def going to have his way in the second round
and that could entail a lot of things
but at some point, it’s definitely gonna be him pinning your wrists down on the bed with one hand
while his own thighs holds your open
and he makes you see stars with his fingers alone
and at some point
it’s going to be him pounding relentlessly into you, a hand on your back pinning you down to the bed
and the second round is always so much more intense
you think you’re spent? he knows exactly how to get you riled up again
but he knows when you’re tired and done even when you say you want more
so he just turns very soft all of a sudden and kisses you like a boy having his first kiss
because he’s so in love with you :(( 
and then he’s gonna tell you what you mean to him
he’s gonna make you look at him as he tells you how beautiful you are and how you mean the whole world to him
sometimes he sees doubt in your eyes but he won’t go away until he clears it
and then you’re both giggling and he’s looking around wondering what to do
“the towels first, please,” you giggle again and he hops off the bed, laughing to himself
probably drags you in the shower with him too and teases you a lot there
so much that sometimes you have another round there-
always so fun with him innit
but he makes sure you’re fed, hydrated, clean and content before he joins you in bed and the cuddlefest starts
human pillow i said what i said
and he’ll caress your hair or skin as he tells you about something that happened at work or you rant about something that annoyed you today
and he jokes and teases you and you slap his chest and he’s suddenly a laughing mess and you’re joining 
and then at some point, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms <3
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Wooyoung
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omega vibes.
a bratty sub
and wooyoung literally ousts himself as having a degrading kink
not his heart fluttering when hongjoong bossed him around
he likes to tease you and frustrate you all day
a quick smirk here
a sneaky touch there 
feel like wooyoung would also make you wear vibrating panties or put a remote-controlled vibrator in you
will turn the vibration up at the worst times
like when you’re talking to someone or when it’s super quiet
he’ll give you the cheekiest grin from across the room
especially when a noise accidentally slips out of you
he loves watching you awkwardly fumble and pretend you didn’t just moan
sometimes in the bedroom when he’s pressing the vibrator against your clit, he’ll pull away at the last second just before you reach your orgasm
and he’ll be like oops sorry :))
until the sexual tension makes you snap
he lets you flip him over or pin him against the wall as you kiss his lips swollen and mark his neck until it’s bruised
and you can feel how smug he is
he loves when you show him his place
and when you mark him with hickeys
you’ll push him onto the bed
and sometimes you tie his wrists together
he’s such a brat you can’t help but try and tame him even when you know it’s hopeless
so you just give up midway and he’s all smug and laughing and you’re like okay have your way then
it’s just very fun with him never a boring moment
and feels like a game of who has more control (you’ve got equal points)(you’re both in negative)
you bet he keeps a record of that
also he gets turned on at the strangest of times
you’re cleaning and he saw you bend down to get that dust? he’s turned on
you almost tripped and made the cutest face afterwards and he teases you but you glare at him? he’s turned on
but the same goes for you
all he has to do is roll his sleeves and display his delicious veiny arms while he cooks
and you’re a whining mess
he knows it
we all love wooyoung in the kitchen
speaking of the kitchen-
no one would eat the food he makes if they knew how many times he’s fucked you on the countertop lol
but he fucks you on every surface he can so-
he loves going down on you mostly because of the noises you make when he’s eating you out
and he knows exactly what move of his tongue or lips against your core earns what noise
he knows you have a thing for his nose digging into your clit too 
so he’s gonna make the most of it ;) 
will let your thighs squeeze him as he makes out with your clit
but when he pushes them apart? the veins on his arms pop and you can’t help but run your fingers all over them 
his arms are just such a work of art
and then he’s trailing kisses up your body and kissing you as if he’s short on breath
also has a thing for fisting your hair when you go down on him 
and oh goodness does he make the most pretty sounds you’ve ever heard
basically the two of you live to rile the other up no matter what way it is <3
when he’s finally inside you, he’s either taking full control or just letting you do whatever you want there’s no in-between
mostly it’s the latter because he loves to see you ride him
but just because you’re on top of him doesn’t mean you’ve got full control. he makes sure you know that
because he is going to pound into you from under you and make you see stars <3
aftercare is something ingrained in him
it’s like he gets all his energy back just to take care of you :(( 
he’s fussing over you, not letting you move before he cleans you up and makes you drink or eat something
he has to give the green light for you and at this point, you let him
because who wouldn’t enjoy a fussy woo??
and then he’s like “let’s shower together ;) “ and you’re like
“ah. is that what all of this was for?”
not complaining though
but the best part about showering together isn’t another round- that’s rare
you simply love it when you’re washing each other up
he loves when you shampoo his hair and massage his scalp
and he rubs the knots out of your neck or arms or thighs
wherever you might be feeling sore from your escapades lol
there’s still a couple of teasing remarks and wandering hands here and there
but he makes sure you’re all warm and dry before he tucks you into bed or wraps you in a huge fluffy blanket on the couch
he’ll insist that you do nothing while he cooks up a small meal for you two because if you two hadn’t become distracted during the process of making dinner, then you two are hungry from the energy you’ve expended LOL
and when he’s made sure you’re absolutely full he’ll cuddle you until you both succumb to food coma
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Jongho
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we all know he’s not physically affectionate
but boi does it look like he’s been doing this all his life
big on foreplay
gets you all hot and bothered first with the way his fingers run over your arms or your thighs
gentle squeezes in between or like something muttered in your ear
until you can’t take it anymore and you make the first move
slow kisses are his things like he loves the intimacy when you’re just making out like you have all the time in the world
and he’s shy at first def, will laugh and joke between kisses just so he can get super comfortable
before he turns into a monster
peppers kisses all over your face :( 
has a knack for making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in this world
to him you are <3
has a thing for necks
will kiss your neck and your sweet spot until it turns red
probably nibble on it too he’d love to see you marked by him
will trail kisses all the way down
will play with your breasts for the longest time as well
just teasing you and making a mess out of you
before he lets his fingers touch you down there and find you already soaked
and god does it give him an ego boost
anddd that’s where things get interesting
watches your every move when he touches you down there 
and has a shit-eating grin on his face throughout 
(which you love you’re not even gonna complain)
he’s gonna make you come multiple times on his fingers that’s a given
he loves to watch you move under him and will probably have a hand on your stomach to brace you and refrain your movements
which drives you so fucking crazy
you’re going to beg for him before he ever lets his cock near you
and when he’s ready for that, he’ll make it so agonisingly slow
will 100 percent grip your thighs as he spreads them apart and just let you feel him against you
before he enters you
he takes a moment to relish in the feeling of your tight walls against him- he can never get enough of that
will pump slowly into you first before it becomes rushed and then-
uses his strength to manhandle you into the position that he wants
he’ll hook his arms under your knees and pound you against the wall pls i need holy water stat
in your bedroom, in your living room, in the shower
omg when he gets all sweaty
and his muscles are glistening as they ripple with his movements lol
dom.
growls in your ears
smacks your ass 100 percent. 
it drives him crazy to feel you trembling against him
or the way your nails dig into his shoulders and drag down his back as he fucks you
he thrives on the sounds you make to the point you’d almost think he’s getting off on that alone
if you come before him, he won’t stop pounding into you until he does
and boi does he still have some stamina left
but you have all the time in the world so he’ll take it slow again
build it up
make you want him again before he touches you
and it just keeps getting more heated, more interesting as the night gets darker
will make sure you’re not overwhelmed though, he really doesn’t want you to feel weird at any point of it all
he wants what you want, to the point you sometimes have to beg him to tell him what he wants
because he’s always focused on pleasuring you and you want to return the favour too
so on the rare occasions that he does let you take the reins, you make it a night he won’t forget ;)
by the time you’re done you’re so tired but this man still has some stamina
so he takes you to the shower with him and washes you up :( <3
dries your hair for you too :( 
you’re so sleepy by now but he’ll carry you to bed :(
and then you cuddle and make jokes until you fall asleep feeling the most content ever
and even though jongho is starting to feel tired too, he fights to stay awake just so that he can cherish the feeling of you in his arms for just a little longer
presses soft little kisses on your forehead and down the tip of your nose and over your cheeks and along your jaw
he’s so soft please
when he really can’t hold off sleep any longer he’ll tuck you closer under his chin before he drifts off too with a smile on his face
has the audacity to giggle at you with his gummy smile when he sees you hobbling the next day because you’re kinda sore
but he’ll be at your beck and call for anything you need the rest of the day <3
8K notes · View notes
ms-demeanor · 10 months
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Why reblog machine-generated art?
When I was ten years old I took a photography class where we developed black and white photos by projecting light on papers bathed in chemicals. If we wanted to change something in the image, we had to go through a gradual, arduous process called dodging and burning.
When I was fifteen years old I used photoshop for the first time, and I remember clicking on the clone tool or the blur tool and feeling like I was cheating.
When I was twenty eight I got my first smartphone. The phone could edit photos. A few taps with my thumb were enough to apply filters and change contrast and even spot correct. I was holding in my hand something more powerful than the huge light machines I'd first used to edit images.
When I was thirty six, just a few weeks ago, I took a photo class that used Lightroom Classic and again, it felt like cheating. It made me really understand how much the color profiles of popular web images I'd been seeing for years had been pumped and tweaked and layered with local edits to make something that, to my eyes, didn't much resemble photography. To me, photography is light on paper. It's what you capture in the lens. It's not automatic skin smoothing and a local filter to boost the sky. This reminded me a lot more of the photomanipulations my friend used to make on deviantart; layered things with unnatural colors that put wings on buildings or turned an eye into a swimming pool. It didn't remake the images to that extent, obviously, but it tipped into the uncanny valley. More real than real, more saturated more sharp and more present than the actual world my lens saw. And that was before I found the AI assisted filters and the tool that would identify the whole sky for you, picking pieces of it out from between leaves.
You know, it's funny, when people talk about artists who might lose their jobs to AI they don't talk about the people who have already had to move on from their photo editing work because of technology. You used to be able to get paid for basic photo manipulation, you know? If you were quick with a lasso or skilled with masks you could get a pretty decent chunk of change by pulling subjects out of backgrounds for family holiday cards or isolating the pies on the menu for a mom and pop. Not a lot, but enough to help. But, of course, you can just do that on your phone now. There's no need to pay a human for it, even if they might do a better job or be more considerate toward the aesthetic of an image.
And they certainly don't talk about all the development labs that went away, or the way that you could have trained to be a studio photographer if you wanted to take good photos of your family to hang on the walls and that digital photography allowed in a parade of amateurs who can make dozens of iterations of the same bad photo until they hit on a good one by sheer volume and luck; if you want to be a good photographer everyone can do that why didn't you train for it and spend a long time taking photos on film and being okay with bad photography don't you know that digital photography drove thousands of people out of their jobs.
My dad told me that he plays with AI the other day. He hosts a movie podcast and he puts up thumbnails for the downloads. In the past, he'd just take a screengrab from the film. Now he tells the Bing AI to make him little vignettes. A cowboy running away from a rhino, a dragon arm-wrestling a teddy bear. That kind of thing. Usually based on a joke that was made on the show, or about the subject of the film and an interest of the guest.
People talk about "well AI art doesn't allow people to create things, people were already able to create things, if they wanted to create things they should learn to create things." Not everyone wants to make good art that's creative. Even fewer people want to put the effort into making bad art for something that they aren't passionate about. Some people want filler to go on the cover of their youtube video. My dad isn't going to learn to draw, and as the person who he used to ask to photoshop him as Ant-Man because he certainly couldn't pay anyone for that kind of thing, I think this is a great use case for AI art. This senior citizen isn't going to start cartooning and at two recordings a week with a one-day editing turnaround he doesn't even really have the time for something like a Fiverr commission. This is a great use of AI art, actually.
I also know an artist who is going Hog Fucking Wild creating AI art of their blorbos. They're genuinely an incredibly talented artist who happens to want to see their niche interest represented visually without having to draw it all themself. They're posting the funny and good results to a small circle of mutuals on socials with clear information about the source of the images; they aren't trying to sell any of the images, they're basically using them as inserts for custom memes. Who is harmed by this person saying "i would like to see my blorbo lasciviously eating an ice cream cone in the is this a pigeon meme"?
The way I use machine-generated art, as an artist, is to proof things. Can I get an explosion to look like this. What would a wall of dead computer monitors look like. Would a ballerina leaping over the grand canyon look cool? Sometimes I use AI art to generate copyright free objects that I can snip for a collage. A lot of the time I use it to generate ideas. I start naming random things and seeing what it shows me and I start getting inspired. I can ask CrAIon for pose reference, I can ask it to show me the interior of spaces from a specific angle.
I profoundly dislike the antipathy that tumblr has for AI art. I understand if people don't want their art used in training pools. I understand if people don't want AI trained on their art to mimic their style. You should absolutely use those tools that poison datasets if you don't want your art included in AI training. I think that's an incredibly appropriate action to take as an artist who doesn't want AI learning from your work.
However I'm pretty fucking aggressively opposed to copyright and most of the "solid" arguments against AI art come down to "the AIs viewed and learned from people's copyrighted artwork and therefore AI is theft rather than fair use" and that's a losing argument for me. In. Like. A lot of ways. Primarily because it is saying that not only is copying someone's art theft, it is saying that looking at and learning from someone's art can be defined as theft rather than fair use.
Also because it's just patently untrue.
But that doesn't really answer your question. Why reblog machine-generated art? Because I liked that piece of art.
It was made by a machine that had looked at billions of images - some copyrighted, some not, some new, some old, some interesting, many boring - and guided by a human and I liked it. It was pretty. It communicated something to me. I looked at an image a machine made - an artificial picture, a total construct, something with no intrinsic meaning - and I felt a sense of quiet and loss and nostalgia. I looked at a collection of automatically arranged pixels and tasted salt and smelled the humidity in the air.
I liked it.
I don't think that all AI art is ugly. I don't think that AI art is all soulless (i actually think that 'having soul' is a bizarre descriptor for art and that lacking soul is an equally bizarre criticism). I don't think that AI art is bad for artists. I think the problem that people have with AI art is capitalism and I don't think that's a problem that can really be laid at the feet of people curating an aesthetic AI art blog on tumblr.
Machine learning isn't the fucking problem the problem is massive corporations have been trying hard not to pay artists for as long as massive corporations have existed (isn't that a b-plot in the shape of water? the neighbor who draws ads gets pushed out of his job by product photography? did you know that as recently as ten years ago NewEgg had in-house photographers who would take pictures of the products so users wouldn't have to rely on the manufacturer photos? I want you to guess what killed that job and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't AI)
Am I putting a human out of a job because I reblogged an AI-generated "photo" of curtains waving in the pale green waters of an imaginary beach? Who would have taken this photo of a place that doesn't exist? Who would have painted this hypersurrealistic image? What meaning would it have had if they had painted it or would it have just been for the aesthetic? Would someone have paid for it or would it be like so many of the things that artists on this site have spent dozens of hours on only to get no attention or value for their work?
My worst ratio of hours to notes is an 8-page hand-drawn detailed ink comic about getting assaulted at a concert and the complicated feelings that evoked that took me weeks of daily drawing after work with something like 54 notes after 8 years; should I be offended if something generated from a prompt has more notes than me? What does that actually get the blogger? Clout? I believe someone said that popularity on tumblr gets you one thing and that is yelled at.
What do you get out of this? Are you helping artists right now? You're helping me, and I'm an artist. I've wanted to unload this opinion for a while because I'm sick of the argument that all Real Artists think AI is bullshit. I'm a Real Artist. I've been paid for Real Art. I've been commissioned as an artist.
And I find a hell of a lot of AI art a lot more interesting than I find human-generated corporate art or Thomas Kincaid (but then, I repeat myself).
There are plenty of people who don't like AI art and don't want to interact with it. I am not one of those people. I thought the gay sex cats were funny and looked good and that shitposting is the ideal use of a machine image generation: to make uncopyrightable images to laugh at.
I think that tumblr has decided to take a principled stand against something that most people making the argument don't understand. I think tumblr's loathing for AI has, generally speaking, thrown weight behind a bunch of ideas that I think are going to be incredibly harmful *to artists specifically* in the long run.
Anyway. If you hate AI art and you don't want to interact with people who interact with it, block me.
5K notes · View notes
pearwaldorf · 10 months
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I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.
START OF THREAD
Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]
The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.
Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.
You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.
Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.
What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.
Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.
Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.
At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.
Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.
Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.
James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.
Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.
Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."
[two image descriptions.
1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]
He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.
So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.
[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]
Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.
There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.
A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.
The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.
Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.
So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.
In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."
He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.
And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.
1200 new patrons in one day.
Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.
I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.
You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"
And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.
Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.
He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.
END OF THREAD
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angelsheartts · 6 months
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୭ JEALOUSY ˚. ᵎᵎ ~
#pairing : lucifer, adam, alastor, angel dust, husk, valentino, vox, x gn reader.
#cw: jealousy?, +18 in valentino's/vox's part, suggestive content ig, cuss words lmao.
#notes: u guys don’t know how much i wanna know why lilith made a deal with adam, and how could she even fumbled lucifer.
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⋆.ೃ- LUCIFER .
i don't think lucifer gets jealous easily, at least, but if he is jealous, he will surely become reallyyyy clingy and will try to show off. i mean, he's the sin of pride, after all.
being the partner of the king of hell really meant that there would always be people staring at you, even ones who had no shame at all and would flirt with you, sometimes even in front of lucifer.
"would you mind if I bought you a drink, sweetheart?" a powerful overlord asked you, making lucifer raise an eyebrow and look at the overlord with one of his annoyed characteristics expressions, and before you could even reply anything, lucifer had already bought you both the whole menu of drinks while clinging onto you. "do you think this is enough for you, (name)?" he asked, making the overlord stop bothering you both and making you gasp a soft sigh, knowing he did all of this with such an innocent face, as if he wasn’t getting annoyed just a second ago.
⋆.ೃ- ADAM .
his ego is too big for him to even consider the idea of being jealous, but boy, does he want to get rid of the fucking asshole who is talking to you.
even though you were adam's third wife/adam's first husband, you were nice to being around. not like your husband, who always made snarky comments about everything and everyone.
sometimes, though, people would flirt with you without you noticing, making your husband really irritated and dragging you away while flipping off the angel who initially flirted with you and making some snarky remarks about them. "(name), that bitch was literally fucking you with his eyes! you should have called me before, next time make sure to be around me, got it?" adam called out, making you giggle since his insults were sometimes so unexpected.
⋆.ೃ- ALASTOR .
alastor is the kind of guy who wouldn’t get jealous; maybe once an extermination you would see him acting a little possessive over you, but really, this guy knows your soul belongs to him, so why would there be a need to feel jealous?
actually, only your friends at the hazbin hotel where the only ones who knew about your relationship with alastor; it made sense, since he knew you could get in danger if someone else found out.
that didn’t meant that angel dust wouldn’t take the opportunity to flirt with you as a joke while trying to get a reaction from you. "(name), i think you would get pretty popular if you started to appear on my films" he said jokingly to you, while alastor just looked at him with his usual smile "i don’t think that (name) would want to get involved in that kind of stuff, angel dust, isn’t that right, dear?" alastor answered, kissing your cheek, and leaving you speechless since he mostly kept his affection for when the both of you where alone.
⋆.ೃ- ANGEL DUST .
for me, he may get jealous depending on who's hitting on you; if it’s some random imp, it won’t really bother him; he will just tell them to fuck off themselves and leave you alone, but if it’s someone like valentino, oh boy, he acts VERY different.
angel dust didn’t really like you being in the porn studios were he works, because he knows that valentino is waiting to say anything to you, and because he simply thinks you don’t belong in a place like that. he thinks you’re much better working at the hazbin hotel or wandering around the pride ring.
"(name), aren’t you a supportive one? you know that if you want, i could make you a star lik-" "val, we're on set soon" angel dust spoke, looking angrily at valentino. "well, looks like your little boyfriend doesn’t want me to talk to you; i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time the next time," valentino whispered, making you stand there awkwardly.
as you both were finally at the hazbin hotel, anthony asked you not to come next time, since he really didn’t want valentino talking to you ever again. "(name), you know i really don’t want to get you in trouble, and you know that outside of the studio we can do whatever the fuck we want, but still, thanks for the snack you brought." he said, smirking, and letting you cuddle into his arms like you always do after an exhausting day.
⋆.ೃ- HUSK .
husk would only get jealous or, well, mostly, frustrated if someone interrupted you both, like if you both are just having a wholesome moment and someone just steals your attention from him, he’s a cat after all AND will be grumpy afterward.
you were having a nice chat with husk while having a drink at his bar, but as he was explaining you something, alastor came along and asked you something between the lines of 'if you had seen charlie or vaggie' since he had to talk to them about some business about the hazbin hotel.
after alastor left, you turned to look at your partner, noticing how he had been growling this entire time. it wasn’t really loud, though. "tsk, that radio demon really needed to ruin the atmosphere," he said, making you give him a look "what? you know, i dislike the idea of him thinking that he can just do whatever he pleases with my stuff." hearing your partner's words, you knew you had to reassure him that even though alastor had interrupted you both, your attention was still set on him and no one else.
⋆.ೃ- VALENTINO .
he’s valentino, he surely and kind of obviously gets jealous whenever you’re talking to someone that isn’t him.
the workers in the studio know that since you worked there, you've only filmed with valentino; nobody questions why, and nobody really cares whatever reason their boss has to not let you fuck with others.
today, though, a worker intended to jokingly flirt with you. "(name), i think that if we make a video together, even the most pure souls would want to watch it" oh, well, that wasn’t even a little funny to valentino.
"such a slut for me, mmh? you really thought my sweet (name) would even think about fucking with you?" valentino smirked, while thrusting into you. he had his eyes set on the demon who flirted with you, not even caring about the fact that he was on set.
⋆.ೃ- VOX .
this man has the same jealousy problems, or even worse, than valentino. he's actually such an attention whore, so he obviously would despise everyone who tries to flirt with you.
actually everyone who works for the vees knows how jealous vox is, and that’s because this is a situation that often happens: if someone is even looking at you a little longer than usual, he will become insecure and try ANYTHING he can so he can have your attention on him. like i mentioned, he’s an attention whore.
today, the outfit that velvette chose for you might have made some people stare back at you. i mean he can’t judge them; you looked so fucking good in it, but hell does he want to have you all by himself, so what does he does? take you to his office so he can have you all by himself.
"(name)," he mutters while keeping his hands all over your body. "you knew what you were doing, huh? making everyone stare at your body, but i’m such a good partner for not making a fuss about it, right?" he asked, waiting for you to atleast praise him, 'cause like a already mentioned he’s an attention wh- lmao.
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seospicybin · 3 months
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TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
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ROUND 1
Lee Know x reader. (s)
Related chapters: Round 2.
Synopsis: Let's play two truths and a lie, and here goes the first thing about you: You want to fuck your roommate's boyfriend, Minho. (9k words)
Author's note: It's a quick one-shot I made like a year ago but pls enjoy it nonetheless 😊
Content warning: Infidelity.
This is how you play two truths and a lie. You share three statements about you, two being true and one false, and people must determine which is which.
-
So here goes the first statement: You want to fuck your roommate's boyfriend.
A few months ago, you came to the city for your new job and were placed in a housing with a group of unbearable people. Since you've just started working, you tried looking at another option to get a temporary place to stay until you're financially stable enough to rent an apartment.
Long story short, a friend of a friend introduced you to Kim who happened to have an extra room you can rent. She owns the apartment and does not necessarily need the money, she offered her room for the sole reason which is to help you. You're aware that you don't meet this kind of that is to help you. You're aware that you don't meet this kind of person every day and for that, you're grateful for her.
After a week of living as roommates, you learn that Kim is just as graceful as her occupation, a ballet dancer. She's beautiful, kind-hearted, amicable, and ultimately, a very attentive roommate.
The room you're staying in was supposedly her private dance studio but she uses the living room to practice now and you have to adjust yourself to the huge mirror covering one side of the wall in your room.
Not long after that, Minho comes into the picture. A sharp nose, sharp jaws, and feline eyes, a beautiful face that only reminds you that the world is unfair to some people, including you.
"This is Minho," Kim introduces him with a smile
The second your eyes lock in a gaze with him, you feel an instant attraction and it intensifies as he stares back into your eyes.
"My boyfriend," Kim adds a little too late.
It's funny that the word boyfriend doesn't stop you from being attracted to him, if anything, you want him more than before.
Kim and Minho have been together for two years now and they met at the dance academy which explains a lot of things, including Minho's lean and toned body.
How do you know? Because sometimes he stays over and on more than one occasion, you found him walking out of the bathroom with nothing but a white towel hanging lowly around his waist.
That's also when you learn that this attraction is strictly physical, your uterus is acting up when you see him, and lewd thoughts rush through your head. It's all biological. There's no way you want to pursue him romantically, you couldn't even think of a person more deserving to be with him than Kim. They're both beautiful and talented dancers, oftentimes, you get so envious because they have such a lovely relationship.
Like tonight, you hear their laughter the second you step into the apartment, finding Kim and Minho in the kitchen just casually talking to each other while sharing a bowl of fruits. You love how simple yet endearing their interaction is.
"Hey, you're home!" Kim says with a sweet, welcoming smile.
You wave your hand at her and briefly at Minho, "Hi, everyone!" You awkwardly say, feeling like you're interrupting them.
"Have you had dinner?" Kim asks, attentive as always.
"Yeah, I grabbed dinner after work," you lie, but you can always creep your way to the fridge late at night for dinner.
"There's a pie in the fridge. Help yourself to some dessert," she sweetly offers then shoves a piece of blueberry into her mouth.
Without having to look, you can see how Minho looks at you, he has this deep, intense gaze that makes you the slightest bit intimidated.
"I will, thanks," you hurriedly respond, wanting the interaction to end as soon as possible, "I'll just... get into my room."
"Yeah, you should rest," Kim softly mutters.
You hoist your bag higher on your shoulder and head to your room, before you get in, you mutter to them, "Night, guys."
"Night," Kim cheerily says.
You hurriedly get in and catch a glimpse of Minho with his intense stare a second before the door completely closes and clicks in place.
The trick to surviving the night is to wait until they get into the bedroom and put headphones on as you come out of yours, not only to avoid hearing unwanted noises, but you reckon it's only right to take the extra measure to respect their privacy.
As you're listening and catching glimpses of the movie playing on your phone, you walk around the kitchen to prepare your simple, unhealthy dinner: a cup of noodles and a can of soda.
You're quietly eating your dinner by the kitchen counter with the headphones still on and once you finished, you treat yourself to a slice of pie, then put the rest of the pie back into the fridge.
It gets messy as you're munching on the pie while watching the movie on your phone. The cherry filling gets all over your fingers and you hurriedly lick it off before it gets—
"Oh, my God!" You shriek in surprise, seeing someone standing by the fridge. Once you realize it's Minho, you break into laughter.
"I'm just getting a bottle of water," he says, his face illuminated by the glow of the fridge lights.
"I'm sorry," you say while clutching your chest, and a second later, regret for saying it when he should be the one apologizing.
There's something different in the way Minho looks at you, he has one corner of his mouth raised higher than the other, giving you the impression that he's thinking of filthy things when he looks at you like that. He's giving you that look now and it does certain things to you.
He then stops leaning against the fridge, taking the bottle of water as he walks back to the bedroom, leaving his signature faint smirk on the back of your head.
The signals are there, they're subtle yet constantly pinging, asking you to respond. For now, you're going to ignore it like you always do and continue existing like you're not sharing the same space with him.
-
Statement number two: You believe Minho wants to fuck you too.
At first, you thought you imagined it, you want to fuck him so you started being delusional and thinking that he wants to fuck you too. Once you started paying attention though, you realized that what he's been doing to you meant something or some sort of message he tried to deliver.
The first occurrence that came to your realization is when the two of you were in the kitchen, you were enjoying your yoghurt and he suddenly came behind you to get something from the drawer that happened to be blocked by your body. Instead of telling you to step aside, he made you stand there as his hand curved around your waist to get something out of a drawer.
From there, you noticed a lot of things he did, the way he briefly rested his hand on the small of your back as he walked past behind you, his hand that would often brush a part of your body when the two of you are next to each other or the way he would speak close to your ear as if he's seeking to be close to you. Simply put, he always tries to make physical contact with you.
The scariest part of it is not the possibility that the two of you will eventually get caught, but how unfazed he is even when his girlfriend is there. Like that night where the three of you shared the sofa and somehow, his hand found your shoulder and instead of retreating, he continued to caress the nape of your neck with his knuckle.
However, what happens tonight is what makes you believe that he wants the same thing.
After making sure that you're the only one still awake in the vicinity, you make your way to the bathroom to take a nice, hot shower to help you relax and sleep faster. You skip on using the hairdryer since it'll make too much noise and tiptoe your way back to your bedroom.
In the middle of putting on your clothes, you realize that you left the door ajar and you notice Minho is watching through the reflection in the mirror.
Instead of stopping or rushing to close the door, you pretend to not see him there and continue, turning your body to the side, showcasing every curve of your body through the reflection in the mirror.
You arch your back as you put on the night dress over your head and slowly slip yourself in it, shimmying your body as you pull the dress down with your hands. Then you look at him through the reflection in the mirror and make it known that you're aware of his presence.
From the crooked grin on his face, you can tell that Minho is pleased to be caught watching you and you received his signal loud and clear: He wants to fuck you too.
But sadly, tonight's show is over so you walk to the door and close it.
-
Friday afternoon, Kim barges into your room and she rarely comes into your room without knocking on your door. Seeing that she's carrying a dress in her hand, you guess she needs your opinions on her clothing choices.
You sit on the bed and take your headphones off, "What's up, Kim?"
She stands at the end of the bed and lifts the dress with both hands, "What do you think?" She asks.
It's a mini dress with spaghetti straps in a deep purple color and it's a nice dress, you're just not sure if it fits Kim's style that well, she usually opts for dresses with flaring hem and floral prints.
"It's nice, Kim," you say but skip on giving her the detailed explanation.
She puts the dress close to her body and hugs it, "Do you like it?"
"Yeah," you shortly reply, even though it doesn't fit her style well, it certainly will look good on her.
"Good!" She shortly says, handing the dress to you, "Cause you'll be wearing it.
Somehow, you reach for it and awkwardly hold it in front of you, "W-why? Why me?"
Kim goes to your vanity table and flips open your jewelry box, she holds your earrings one by one to find ones that would match the dress.
"You're coming with me to this party," she says, leaving a lot of details in her answer.
"What party?"
"Party at my friend's," she simply answers, deciding on the gold small hoop earrings.
But that's against your plan, you want to steer clear of Minho and party at Kim's friend means that he'd likely be there too.
"Kim, I don't think that's a good idea," you tell her.
She then leans against the desk in your room and crosses her arm together in front of her, "These past few days you refused to hang out with me so you have to hang out with me tonight."
So Kim knows that you've been purposely avoiding her but you need to explain that it's not because of her, "But that's not—"
"Nuh-uh!" She quickly cuts you off again, "Tonight you're going to the party with me," she decides on her own, not accepting any more excuses from you.
"Is it okay though? I mean... it's your friend's party. I don't want to intrude," you meekly say while playing with the strap of the dress.
"Why would it not be okay?" She says, coming to sit on the edge of the bed, "Besides I want to introduce you to Gaspard."
Maybe you owe this one to Kim and hearing a guy's name piques your interest, "And who is Gaspard?"
"A cute guy," she shortly answers with a sly grin on her heart-shaped face, "And you'll like him."
It's not like Minho's presence would bother you that much and Kim needs you, she wants you there, therefore, as a good roommate, you should be there.
"Yeah, okay, I'm in the mood to meet a cute guy tonight," you tell her, not forgetting to show enthusiasm as well.
"That's the spirit!" Kim says with a wide grin dancing on her face.
Well, since you'll be there and possibly meet Minho, Gaspard better be a cute distraction for real.
-
The taxi pulls up in front of a house and you reckon it's where the party at from how many cars are parked outside and the faint thumping of the music playing inside.
The fact that you get here by taxi only means that there's no Minho so you can relax, for now.
Kim excitedly links her arm with you as you both walk into the house and you expect a party with laid-back music and endless glasses of wine but the second you step inside, upbeat music is blasting from around the house and everyone is having beers from red plastic cups.
The party is not what you imagined it would be, but it's what you need.
Kim cranes her neck to find her friends and once she finds them, she raises her hand to signal her arrival to them.
"Come on! Let's meet my friends!" She says.
Please, God, let him be a cute distraction! You repeatedly mutter in your heart as she drags you with her to meet her friends who are gathered in what you guess is a rec room in the house.
When Kim's friends finally come to sight, you put on a smile as you quietly guess which one of them is Gaspard. Kim goes to hug them one by one before introducing you to them.
"This is Ellie, Jena, Paul..." she introduces her friends back to you one by as the mentioned person warmly greets you.
"And Minho," someone adds from behind you.
You immediately look over your shoulder to see Minho standing there, Kim gently slaps his shoulder in response and laughs.
"This is not a roll call, honey," Kim says with a smile and then leans in to give Minho a quick peck on the lips.
Minho is already here and there's no Gaspard yet. No Gaspard means there'll be no distraction. You keep your smile on even though you're slowly descending into distress.
"There he is!" Kim exclaims, pointing at something behind you.
You reflexively turn on your heels and see a tall man with brown hair, striking green eyes, and a scintillating smile. This man will make the perfect distraction.
Please let this man be Gaspard, you deeply wish inside your heart.
Kim comes to your side and puts her arm around you, "This is the man I told you about," she says.
"I hope you only told her nice things about me," Gaspard says with a sly grin that makes his whole face light up.
The universe heard your plea and decided to make it true for you, this is Gaspard, the perfect distraction you want and need.
"Holyfuck..." you lowly mutter in disbelief.
"What's that?" Kim asks, hearing you saying something but doesn't quite catch it.
You've already forgotten where you are and what you're doing. And Minho? Who is Minho? You let out a chuckle and shake these silly thoughts away.
"So this is Gaspard, huh?" You say in all confidence.
"That is me," he answers, returning the confidence with a wide smile, "I'm better than you expected, I guess?"
Gaspard is confident and then gets shy in the next minute which you find charming, you smile at him and say, "I need more time to decide on that."
"That's fair," Gaspard says, offering his hand at you.
You think he's just going to shake your hand but he takes you into the crowd gathered in the middle of the room, dancing.
"A fair warning, I'm a bad dancer," you warn him as he takes your hands in his and makes you stand facing him.
"We still have time to decide on that," he pokes fun at you, taking you by the waist and pulling you close to his front.
Kim is right, Gaspard is cute and you like him already. He has just the right amount of facial hair and it grazes your cheek whenever he leans in to whisper into your ear, giving you a tingling feeling inside and outside.
After a few moments though, you find yourself panting from dancing with him. You should've known this would happen when you're dancing with a real dancer.
Since Gaspard is way taller than you, you have to put your arm around his shoulder and stand on your tiptoe to whisper to his ear, "Hey, how about we get drinks?"
"Drinks?" He asks you in confirmation since the mix of loud music and chatter is filling the room.
"Yeah," you answer while repeatedly nodding your head.
He doesn't say anything but takes your hand and leads the way through the crowd to the kitchen where bottles of liquor are strewn around on the kitchen island.
You intently watch as Gaspard is excitingly making you his special concoction. He finishes it off with a spritz of lemon before handing it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter in gratitude.
"Come on. Taste it!" He encourages you, curious of what you think of his drink-mixing skill.
Well, you've been staring at it long enough to give him the impression that you hesitate to drink it. You hurriedly take a small sip and you don't even have to lie, it's good.
"Wow!" You gasp, impressed with the drink he made.
"I know," he confidently says with a smirk and drinks his drink.
It's so refreshing and sweet like it has no alcohol at all, you hurriedly take another sip.
"It's really good," you tell him.
"Thank you," he says with a grin.
He then offers his hand at you, "Let's find somewhere to talk?"
You take his hand without question, letting him take you wherever he wants because it seems like he knows where he's going. He leads you to the backyard where everyone is hanging out by the pool.
"Hey, you!"
Recognizing the voice, your head snaps toward the source, and see Kim waving her hand at you from the long sofa that curved around a fancy fireplace.
You stop walking on your track and end up leading Gaspard there. You unconsciously let out a sigh of relief after seeing that there's no Minho there.
"Oh, hey," you greet back.
Kim scoots to the side to make space for you on the sofa, "Where have you guys been?"
"Oh, we were just dancing and he made me a drink," you honestly answer, not forgetting to show her the drink in your hand.
"And where were you going to take her, Gaspard?" Kim asks with eyes squinted at him.
"Anywhere but here," he jokingly answers.
"Well, since you guys just got here, it's your turn to play!" Someone says, you can't remember what her name is but she's one of the friends Kim introduced earlier.
"Turn to play? What?" You ask in confusion.
"Two truths and a lie," someone says.
You feel bad for not being able to remember their names, Gaspard's influence is that powerful on you.
"You know how to play, right?" Kim asks.
It's not about whether you know how to play or not, it's just so unexpected that these talented, gorgeous dancers like to play this kind of game at parties.
"Yes, I do," you answer.
Kim turns on the sofa to face you and looks at you in anticipation, "Okay then. Shoot!"
"Right now?"
"Yes," Kim shortly answers with a chuckle.
You admire their eagerness whether for the game or to know something about you, you rake your brain to think of three things about you and one of them should be a lie that would likely fool them good.
"Okay first is uhm... I'm allergic to cats," you share.
There's no response from them but you can see how they're looking at you and probably every detailed facial expression you make that will give away hints about whether you're lying or not.
"Second thing is my mom has a twin," you confidently share with a faint smile.
"Ah," Kim lowly gasps and you guess because you've shared this information with her before.
"Last thing is..." you look around as you think of the last thing to share with them.
You eventually turn to the side and see Gaspard smiling at you, "I think Gaspard is cute," you share the third thing about you.
"That's the one! That's the lie!" Someone excitedly guesses, and you suddenly remember his name as Paul.
You laugh because Gaspard looks so offended by his friend, "No, it's not a lie," you quickly defend him.
Gaspard shoots him a glare and triumphantly laughs, "Just drink, man!"
Paul drinks his beer in defeat.
"I must say the second one is the lie," the girl says again, still can't remember her name though.
"No. Her mom has a fraternal twin," Kim says, learning that information from you on the first day you moved into her apartment.
"Drink up, Jena!" Kim tells her that she guessed wrong and not wasting time but drinks her beer as a punishment.
"Oh, so you're not allergic to cats?" Gaspard asks.
"No, I'm not. I like cats," you answer.
He then sighs in relief, "That's great because I have a cat."
"Oh, wow?!" You utter in disbelief.
Other than being a great distraction, you share a lot in common with Gaspard and that says something.
"I also have cats," someone adds, joining in on the circle.
You can tell by the voice that it's the man you've been trying to avoid seeing tonight. You remain calm and have a sip of your drink.
"Yes, Minho, we all know you're a cat daddy," Jena says, finally knowing her name from Kim.
Kim groans and tosses a cushion at Jena, "Don't say that!"
Minho takes a gulp of Kim's drink and sits with his back reclined and his legs spread open, even his sitting position oozing with confidence and you eat that shit up.
You feel like slapping your face at that thought and have another sip to swallow that thought down.
"Is it my turn to play?" Minho asks around.
Jena shrugs since no one is taking the turn to play, "Yeah, sure, go ahead."
Minho softly scratches his chin before speaking, "I want to kiss someone tonight."
He starts easy but from the faint smirk on his face, you can tell he's brewing something in his mind.
"That someone is not my girlfriend," he calmly says.
Welp, there you go! Minho acts like he didn't just drop a shocking statement while his girlfriend is sitting prettily next to him.
You glance at Kim and she looks calm, but you can see that her jaws are slightly clenched. She's not happy so Minho should stop it.
But instead of calming his girlfriend, Minho looks at you and continues to share the third statement, "The person I want to kiss is one of you."
Your heart skips a beat because he keeps looking right at you and making it obvious for everyone to see who it is. All of a sudden, you feel the urge to exit this scene but walking out only makes it even more obvious.
Minho is sick of doing this to you and Kim, it's like he doesn't even care what it can do to either you or Kim.
"Oh, Minho, that's..." Paul hisses, not able to finish his sentence.
"Why, Paul?" Minho daringly asks him.
"Nothing," Paul says while scratching his head.
Minho leans forward and says, "It's you, Paul. It's you who I want to kiss."
Paul's tense face melts in a second and everyone bursts out laughing, "Fuck you, man!"
"It's you. I want to kiss you," Minho taunts him more, throwing himself at him and jokingly tries to kiss him.
Paul keeps pushing him away, sloshing his drink as he tries to dodge Minho's kiss while everyone else is laughing at them.
Even though it turns out to be a joke, you feel sick in the stomach and feel the need to get out of here.
"I need to go to the restroom," you mutter, getting up from the sofa.
Gaspard puts down his drink, "I can show you—"
"It's okay. I can go by myself," you tell him off, you regret being so crass but you're sure he'll understand.
"Okay," he says, sitting back down on the sofa.
While clutching the hem of your dress, you head back inside the house and find the bathroom to only queue to get inside, you decide to try on the second floor. You can easily find the bathroom as it's wedged between two bedrooms.
It's a party, you're sure the host would be okay with you using their bathroom, you don't even need to pee or something, you just need a space to vent.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you keep muttering to the reflection in the mirror.
When you touch your neck, you can feel a sheen of sweat there so you run your hands under the cold water and tap it to your neck.
This is the first time you realize what it'll do to you when it comes to following your desire. You'll ruin not only their relationship but also your friendship with Kim and she's been nothing but good to you.
"Fuck!" You mutter once again as you splash cold water on your face like it would help to put some sense into you.
Coming here was a bad idea!
But you're already here so you only need to stick to your plan, staying away from Minho and sticking with Gaspard. You allow yourself to spend a few more minutes just to compose yourself before coming out of the bathroom.
As you're about to climb down the stairs, the plan comes to a failure.
You see Minho is coming up the stairs and he seems to be looking for you as well from the way he stops once he finds you.
Instead of avoiding him as you planned, you feel the need to confront him about what happened a while ago. You grab the front of his shirt and take him into one of the bedrooms. The first one is locked so you try the other one and it's empty.
Once both of you are inside, you slam the door shut and push him against it.
"What the hell are you doing?" You aggressively ask, pushing his chest until his back hits the door.
"What? What am I doing?" He plays innocent but that smirk knows it all.
You slap his chest with both of your hands now but all you can feel is how firm his pecs are.
"You just don't care, do you?"
He puts his hands on each side of your waist and draws you closer, not hesitating to plant his mouth on your jaw.
"Minho!" You whine, ending up getting trapped in his hold with his arms wrapped tightly around you.
He glides his lips up and presses a kiss there on the skin under your ear, sending a tingling down your spine as his warm breath brushes your skin.
You helplessly dodge away from his lips yet somehow, he manages to capture your lips in a kiss and oh, you hate it so much! You hate how you like the way he kisses you, so passionately and hungrily, he makes it known that he wants it so much.
Okay, maybe the kiss is a slip-up and you hurriedly pull yourself out of it. You push him and pull away from the kiss.
"You know we can't do this," you mutter but you're looking at his lips, tempted to kiss him again.
He ignores your words and kisses you again, and you fall into it again. You try harder this time and break the kiss.
"Minho!" You whine, looking away to not let the temptation win again.
Using it as an opportunity, Minho plants his mouth on your ear and nibbles on it, peeling a layer off of your sanity which brings you to slip down the slope again.
Your lips are colliding again, harder and deeper, causing even more damage than the previous one as his hands go all over you and pull the straps of your dress down your shoulders.
The two logics in your head are clashing against each other, the one wants to satisfy this desire and the other wants to get out of this situation altogether. If you follow the former then at least, your curiosity will be fulfilled and if you follow the latter, then you get to keep the peace.
As you are caught in that inner battle, you blank out and stiffen against him.
"We have to stop," you mutter to him.
But is that what you want? To stop when you already have your toes dipped in the water?
Minho also takes a moment to assess the situation, he looks at you with his lips red and wet, "it has to stop," he says in agreement.
You take a step back and feel the sudden detachment as he lets go of you and you can't believe that he agrees right away that this is the better decision. You can't help but think that he doesn't want you enough.
He stays standing there, leaning against the door and looking at you with his eyes dark and wide with lust.
"So what do we do now?"
That's such a wrong thing to ask you because what you want to do now is be selfish for the night, for one fucking night, and if you're going to do it, you may as well go all in, right?
Take the chance or pass? Right or wrong? Continue or stop? Now or never?
"Fuck!" you heavily sigh and take down the straps of your dress, sending your breasts spilling out of the front.
"Suck my tits," you order.
It takes Minho a moment to process it and when he finally catches on that you've made up your mind, he goes for it. He comes at you full speed, hands off the brake and head first.
His mouth lathers at your breasts before sucking at them like you asked, taking them in turns, and leaving them wet with his saliva.
"Nibble on my nipples," you command.
You look down to watch him obeying you, using his tongue to nibble on your blossoming buds and alternating it with his teeth next.
"Oh, fuck," you breathlessly mutter as he sucks hard on your nipple.
While his mouth is busy latching on your breasts, his hands are snaking to the back and kneading at your asscheeks, caressing them with his fingers, and teasing your underwear.
This feels so wrong yet so good, you have your inner battle still but your logic is being defeated by your body's needs. You pull him by the shoulder and make him kiss you again so you'll stop thinking.
The rattles on the door startle you both and Minho immediately pushes the door with his back, then holds the knob to not let anyone in. Whoever tries to get it seems to figure out that the room is occupied.
"Sorry," someone says from behind the door.
Minho immediately locks the door while you take a step back from him, he gives you that look again, the kind of look that sees right through you and knows that you feel conflicted inside.
"Kim is my good friend," you tell him, feeling a pang of sadness in your chest that it aches.
He comes at you again and kisses you in which you're returning with the same eagerness. He seems to know that it's the only way to make you stop talking and thinking altogether. He pulls you closer than before his hands snaking to your rear, cupping the ample flesh in his hand.
"This is terrible," you mutter as you break the kiss so you can take your underwear off.
"This is terrible..." you mutter again, pulling him close by the waistband of his jeans and proceeding to unzip his fly open, "Betraying her like this."
It's like your body has a mind of its own, it's doing the opposite of what you're saying.
You impatiently take his semi-hard out of its confine and stroke it in your hand, "terrible," you emphasize the word and nail it deep into your head.
Minho doesn't say anything but follows what your body wants, he kisses you again, sloppily with his hands mindlessly roaming around your body.
"Touch me there," you whisper into him.
Without looking, his hand knows where to go. It goes to where you want him to be, going to the front to that wetness between your legs.
"Put your fingers in."
Minho runs his fingers down your slit repeatedly before inserting his finger into you. One digit is enough to make you moan in pleasure as he pumps it in and out of you.
"Add one more."
He draws his finger out and brings his index and middle fingers, shoving them into your mouth to wet them with your saliva. He brings them back to your entrance and slowly pushes them inside.
"Fuck, oh..." you moan, burying your head in his neck.
Two fingers are going in and out of you and you're already losing it. You start to think of what his cock would be like inside you as it feels hot and hard in your hand, pulsating with so much desire.
His lips nestle in your neck, kissing and lightly sucking on the skin as your body clings to him for support.
"Curl them— Oh!"
Minho knows what to do, he curls his fingers and carefully finds that spot that makes you whine and moan at the same time, and the lewd noise echoes in the dimly lit room.
You look over your shoulder to locate the bed and start steering his body there, walking backward without having to take hands off of each other.
He slowly pulls out and breaks the kiss only to pull your dress up, making the dress hunched around your waist. You plop down onto the bed and get on, you take a moment to continue undoing his jeans and pull it down enough to let his erection free.
Without thinking, you put his cock into your mouth, take him as much as you can and compensate for the rest you can't take with your hand. You lick and suck, alternating those two as you enjoy every inch of his delicious length with your mouth.
Minho tangles his hand in your hair and gently tugs at it, "I feel so guilty," he says.
Oh, so he's not that selfish after all but the thought of him thinking of his girlfriend with his cock deep in your mouth doesn't make you jealous at all, it makes you feel more aroused than before.
"Oh, so guilty," he says between his hoarse, low moans as he stares back into your eyes.
You slowly pull away and replace your mouth with your hand, restlessly pumping his swollen cock.
"You should be," you tell him, sticking your tongue out of your mouth and swirling it around the pink tip of his cock.
All of a sudden, he grabs your hand and takes it away from his length, he then takes your other hand to pin it against the bed. He hovers above you as he kisses you again, his tongue prying open your mouth to taste more of you.
You can feel him rubbing his length between your folds and you spread your legs open so he can do it more, making you drenched than you already are.
It's obvious to you now that you want him, you want him so bad and what you want is only inches away from you, and you can feel how much he wants you.
"Put it in," you breathlessly say against his lips.
Minho wastes no time to position himself between your legs. He then holds his cock, lubricating it with your essence and giving it a few pumps to finally aims it toward your entrance.
The more time he takes to be inside you, the more impatient you get.
"Put it deep inside me," you demand, opening your legs wider for him.
Yet Minho keeps teasing your entrance, heightening your anticipation and the tension in the room, making you arching your back at him.
When he finally pushes in, he only inserts the tip. It's just the tip but Gosh! It feels good already when he starts thrusting at a slow, steady pace.
"That's it," you say, keeping your waist afloat to take more of him, "all the way in."
Minho is just as impatient. He takes your wish as his command and pushes the rest of his length into you, hitting you deep inside that you blank out and you can't hear your own scream of pleasure.
It only registered to you now that it's all real once you take a look at how his cock is fully buried deep inside you and there's nothing like the feeling of finally having your desire fulfilled. Minho feels so good inside you, every inch of his length fills you perfectly like he was made just for you.
"Oh..." you loudly moan as he starts moving.
You're in and out of you at how hard he's thrusting into you that it reverberates throughout your body and in the middle of it, you manage to look at him, his face is masked with pleasure from the way his eyes are half shut and his lips pressed together.
Maybe the two of you want it so much that the sex feels rushed and a little rough, almost animalistic even. You can feel you're about to cum and so is he.
"Don't cum inside," you warn him before bringing his head close for a sloppy kiss on his lips.
In return, Minho goes sloppy with his thrusts that the bed quakes along with his movements and you're gripping the sheet to hold on to. He's twitching inside you and your legs are shaking. The knot in your stomach keeps tightening and you feel like exploding at any minute now.
He incessantly thrusts into you while you keep gripping the sheet, he probably senses that you're on the brink of climaxing and takes you there, sending you into your release with your eyes screwed shut, seeing white. He cums not long after you and keeps himself deep into you, completely forgetting your warning.
When it occurs to you that he completely forgot about your warning, you slowly push him away and force him to pull out of you.
"I told you not to cum inside," you whine.
Minho's eyes fixated on the way his cum drips out of you, pearly white and glistening wet, inviting him to taste. He finds a way to solve it by settling his head between your legs and licking your mixed juices off of your cunt and not hesitating to swallow it. He sucks on your gushing hole before using his tongue to insert it, he makes sure to not leave any drop of his cum in you.
Watching him eating you and swallowing his own cum is getting you off in the best way, you suddenly don't mind it that much that he cum inside you. If anything, you want him to fill you so you get to watch him do it all over again.
"Stop, Minho! Stop!" You tell him, tugging at his hair to stop him from diving further into your wetness.
He abruptly stops and lifts his head with his mouth and chin glistening wet with your essence. You grab him by the front of his shirt and make him hover above you again. You know you already got what you want and it's time to stop.
What are you going to do now? You ask yourself.
Seize the chance. This is probably the last time you ever had this chance and this could be the one and only chance. You roll him over and straddle him, thinking of having him again for the last time, selfishly.
Taking a moment for this could be the only chance you get to do it, you look at him and his beautiful face, and you allow yourself to kiss his lips. You're running your hands down his clothed chest and patiently unbuttoning his shirt, then part it open to reveal his toned upper half body.
It's only fair if you get to touch him all over too so you do it, using your hands and your lips next, it's just you and miles and miles of his warm, honey skin.
Minho lets you do everything as he lays on his back, watches you kissing every inch of his abdomen, and eventually has him in your mouth again. He props his hands against the bed to see how your lips wrapped around his cock.
After a while, you suddenly pull out and gasp for air, "We have to stop."
He sits up on the bed and puts your hair away from your face, "But I don't want to stop," he says, then continues putting your hair away to the back so he can kiss your neck, chest, and breasts.
They're just words, they've been just words that you say in vain and have no effect to make you stop whatsoever. You only say that just to remind you that this feels so wrong but it feels good to do it.
You sit on his lap and position his cock at your entrance again, slowly, you lower yourself on him. You let out a mewl as you take him in little by little, feeling his girth stretching you out.
"Do you want to stop?" He asks you with his hands cradling your head in between.
"We have to," you sigh with your eyes closed, overwhelmed by his cock that buries deep inside you.
"I don't want to," he breathlessly says, holding you by the waist, guiding you to start moving.
Putting your arms around his shoulders for support, you're switching between pulsating and rolling your hips around him as he latches his lips on your neck and chest.
Somehow, he feels bigger and harder inside you, and he fills you better, therefore, you just want to keep feeling his length around you. However, in the middle of it, your logic fights to come out of you.
"This is wrong," you breathlessly mutter.
"Mmh-hmm," he hums against your lips, mindlessly answering to you.
"This is so wrong, Minho," you say again as you keep moving to chase your high.
If this is wrong then why it feels so good? If this is wrong then you never want to be right. If this is wrong then you want to be a sinner, forever.
"Oh, I can't do this anymore," you cry, it's unclear whether it's the body or your conscience speaking.
"Keep going, keep going," he repeatedly mutters through his gritted teeth, watching you bouncing on his cock.
The sex is more intense and harder than the previous one, you keep holding your breath even though you're running out of air. Your nails dug into his skin, your mouth locked with his lips, and you feel a sheen of sweat forming on your skin.
It all comes down to the one moment when everything hits you all at once. Other than the wave of dopamine and oxytocin that surge through your body, you feel good, you feel light and happy, but underneath that, you feel that bitter feeling, guilt that is gnawing and eating you alive from the inside.
You open your eyes and find Minho looking at you with a soft gaze and it feels tender that you feel like crying, or you're about to as you feel tears forming in the corners of your eyes.
"Oh, God! What have I done?" You roughly brush the hair stuck to your moist forehead.
"It's okay," Minho says, trying to justify this act of betrayal.
"Oh, my God!" You press the heels of your palms to your eyes to stop you from crying.
Minho gently holds your chin and softly presses a kiss on your lips as if he's trying to take the pain away but that's useless because you caused this yourself and he's a part of the problem.
But his kiss no longer holds the same effect, you feel restless the more he kisses you so you slowly pull away and keep a safe space between you and him.
"Let's just stop," you say with a sigh and then rush to get off his lap. You lowly gasp from the sudden emptiness and once your feet touch the floor, you're staggering backward.
Then, you feel it, his hot cum that drips out of you and down your inner thigh.
"I can help you with that," Minho offers.
You immediately hold your hand up at him and firmly say, "Just stop!"
You start fixing your dress, putting your arm in the straps, and pulling them to your shoulders. You look around for your underwear and once you find it, you put it on.
"Kim can't know about this," you meekly say as you pull the hem of your dress and smooth them down.
There's no looking back at it now. You've got what you wanted and now it's time to move on. You turn the door knob and head out without saying anything else.
Rejoining the party downstairs, you immediately head to the kitchen to get a drink but on the way there, someone catches you by the hand.
"Come, dance with me!" Kim says with a grin, pulling you with her to the middle of the room.
"Kim, I–" you can't find anything to say to her without the guilt clogging your throat, "I need a drink."
"Here. Have mine!" She hands you her cup.
"I'll get us drinks and get back to you, okay?" You kindly refuse her but she won't let go of your hand.
"Oh, come on, it's my favorite song!" She pleads with her puppy eyes, making you feel worse than you already are.
Seeing her and how oblivious she is to what you and Minho have done is breaking your heart.
That brings you to the third and last statement: That will be the first and the last time you've had sex with Minho.
-
Things are going back to normal. Or that's what it seems to you.
You're still roommates with Kim and she's still oblivious about what you and Minho did behind her back which means he keeps true to his promise.
And yes, he still comes to the apartment but it doesn't bother you as it used to. You learn that your friendship with Kim is far more valuable than his boyfriend's cock, in fact, you've been taking her kindness for granted.
So for these past few days, you've been trying to avoid them as much as possible. You purposely come home late from work and if you do find them together in the apartment, you make excuses to stay in your bedroom.
Fewer interactions means fewer chances of this guilt from bringing you down further.
The new plan is to get your own place as soon as possible and for that to happen, you have to start looking for it.
Today, Gaspard offers to help you check a few places and it's also the perfect getaway than staying in the apartment. You quietly get dressed and slip out of your bedroom to find Kim catches you while dunking her teabag into her cup.
"Where are you going?" She asks.
You don't want to tell her about it yet that you plan on moving out soon so you make up an excuse on the spot, "Just getting a few things for work, yeah," you lie.
She tosses the teabag into the trash and uses a spoon to stir it, "Just getting a few things for work, huh?"
"Yeah, I need new work shoes," you lie again, seamlessly this time.
"And you think you don't need my help?"
"No, no," you hastily reply, "I just know how much you like staying in on the weekends."
"I would to go out on the weekend too."
Kim keeps misunderstanding you so you decide to tell her, "I'm going out with Gaspard," you admit, but keep the details from her.
Kim lets out a laugh and puts down her cup of tea, "Oh, my God! Why did you lie about it?"
"I don't know. It feels weird," you awkwardly answer.
"Why would it be weird? Cause he's my friend?"
"Yeah..." you meekly say.
She laughs again and comes up to you, "Why would it be weird that my roommate is going out with my good friend?"
That's true, this is nothing compared to fucking your roommate's boyfriend. You swallow the guilt that crawls out of your throat.
"I can lend you my shoes to match it with that cute dress?" She offers, kind as always.
"No, it's fine. It's comfortable this way," you say, opting for the sneakers you're wearing since you're going to do a lot of walking today.
"As long as you're comfortable," she says, fixing your hair as she speaks.
The front door opens and the two of you are turning your heads to see who's coming, it's none other than Minho. You hurriedly sling your purse around your shoulder and ready to leave.
"I'd better get going," you tell Kim, giving her a quick hug.
"You can come home as late as you want," she jokingly says as she hugs you back, "Actually, don't bother coming home tonight."
You laugh it off and pull away while ignoring Minho who walks to the kitchen to get something out of the fridge. You head for the door and wave bye at Kim before getting out.
-
The search for a new place comes to fruition, you have two potential living spaces but the only problem is you can't afford the rent, yet.
You end the day with a hearty dinner also as a treat for Gaspard for being so helpful and patient with you. He's simply a great guy to be with and you wonder why didn't you want to fuck him instead of Minho.
Oh fuck, you think about Minho again and it reminds you that he's in the apartment now so you stay out as late as you can. You consider Gaspard's offer to come and visit his place but you don't want to give him the impression that this is a date.
It's too casual to be counted as a date in the first place but you make sure to promise him a proper one next time.
"Maybe next time when I'm not sweaty and the day is not as humid as today," you kindly refuse the offer.
"I agree," he says as his hair turns a lot curler in this humidity and shyly brushes it to the back.
He walks you to the entrance of your apartment building and you turn on your feet to face him, "Thank you for today," you sincerely say.
"No worries. I had fun today," he coyly says with a smile.
You know he wants to kiss you and you want to kiss him too because he's just so attractive and fun to be with, he's a great guy... you can list so many reasons why you should kiss him so you muster up the courage to do it.
You stand on your tiptoe and press a kiss on his lips, putting your hand on his shoulder for support and Gaspard returns the kiss with so much gentleness with his hand cupping your jaw.
In the middle of it, you come to a realization that you kiss him for so many reasons but not because you like him. You slowly pull away from the kiss and quickly put on a smile for him.
"Goodnight, Gaspard," you mutter.
He allows himself to place a gentle caress on your cheek and smiles back at you as he says back, "Goodnight!"
The walk back to the apartment feels like a punishment. At least, it's late enough that you're sure Kim is already asleep by now so you quietly unlock the door, pushing it open without making any noise, and walk through the living room until you get to the safety of your room.
You kick your shoes off, throw your purse onto the bed, and take off your jacket, just standing there in your dress facing the huge mirror with your reflection staring back at you.
"Do you need help with that?" Minho asks through the cracks of your door.
You hate it that he's still here and you're happy to see him, you're not answering but he comes to your aid anyway. He stands right behind you and slowly unzips your dress for you.
It must be intentional the way his knuckles graze your skin as he pulls the zipper down your back.
The memories from that night come back to you and unlock all the feelings that you try to keep at the bottom of your heart.
Minho then places his hand on your shoulder and looks at you through the mirror, "Do you need help with anything else?" He asks with a voice so low it's almost like a whisper.
You turn your head to the side and meet his gaze, "No."
All sorts of thoughts come rushing through your head but it's the same contradicting questions: Take the chance or pass? Right or wrong? Continue or stop? Now or never?
Those questions going around your head and won't stop bothering you until you make up your mind.
You turn around to face him and notice how close he's standing in front of you, so close that you can feel the heat his body is emitting.
"But I'll help myself," you say and then kiss him.
Well, you guess people can tell which one is the lie now.
-
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colleendoran · 1 year
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Actors on Strike
I don't think a lot of people have given much consideration to the issues that people have with their images being scanned and then used later in AI without further permission or compensation.
Consider that anyone anywhere in any film at any time could be reused without notice in the most disturbing porn imaginable. Do you honestly think these images won't be licensed and sublicensed and used to train AI engines? And because you signed a contract, that would be legal?
Think about how you'd feel if you were an extra on some film set, you made $100, and the next thing you know a studio sells a set of image contracts the way people sell kitbashing image packs.
Because that's what's coming.
If companies can license creator's works and figure out ways not to pay them, and the works can end up completely bastardized in ways the original creator would never predict or want, imagine what these studios are going to do to your face and body.
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