#pg. 160

[every-yumichika]

[somewhereincairparavel]

jason I beg your finest fucking pardon???

[clinicshamartia]

When I was younger I really believed that I was going to be super responsible with my money and have a proper savings account and have a retirement fund etc. Now that I’m older with free will and a paycheque I can’t stop buying Cold War memorabilia to fuel my ever long special interest.

[smoothpeanut]

look at this massive fucking box of tea I found. at the Asian grocer no less. it's the size of my head. i feel like i could bludgeon someone to death with this

[dullahandyke]

Ok no I do have to shower. And get some of this fake blood off me. Sad

[wikipediafag]

got thru 90 pgs of my book while getting my hair braidedd <:]

[upthespiralstaircase]

* by nothingbeatsfilm Via Flickr: Minolta XD7 | MC Rokkor-PG 58mm 1:1.2 | Kodak Portra 160

[lookwhatyoumademelou]

everybody watch out

mercury drank the kool aid again

[itsfantasticac]

Super Monkey Ball plushes, distributed by Sega through prize catchers in 2002.

Arcadia magazine No. 21 (Feb. 1, '02), pg. 160

[ramlightly]

I apologize if it feels like all I'm doing is just updating my itchio or zines lately lol. The changing of the year has made me want to clean house I think, and start actually putting together all of my work. Plus, doing administrative stuff has been good for an buzzing stressed brain.

Anyways I got my 160 pg physical sketchbook scanned, if you want an extremely honest (aka messy) look at my process eventually lol.

[chirpingfromthebox]

Just recently finished Harrison and Rachel Browne's Let Us Play: Winning the Battle for Gender Diverse Athletes and I would highly recommend it.

I was a little worried that it would wind up being a little too simple, because it's only in the ballpark of 160-180pgs (depending on if you wanna count introductions and stuff or not). But the only reason it's on the shorter side is because the writing is just so clean.

I was really impressed. When dealing with a topic that has so much contention surrounding it the authors do a phenomenal job of cutting through the noise and presenting the issues in a clear, direct, and engaging manner.

Plus they really work well together as the book neatly balances that line between research-based arguments and personal accounts and showing how the two interrelate with one another.

While it doesn't pretend to have all the answers, it does a fantastic job laying down a groundwork from which to build on and move the conversations into a more productive direction.

Thank you for taking the time to read and engage with our book. Researching and writing it was an eye-opening and even uncomfortable process for us, as we learned. Being pushed in our thinking exposed us to new ideas and inspiration for action. Reading books like this that confront our preexisting biases is just a first step in bringing about real change in our own circles and communities and beyond. It can be scary to take action and daunting to know where to start, whether you're trying to be an informal individual navigating this fraught topic, practicing greater empathy for the gender diverse people in your life, or seeking to bring about broader change. There's always something—big or small—we can do.

-from Appendix, pg. 161, Let Us Play

[dailytdp]

Tales Of Xadia Artwork

Quest Giver at a human dock rallies adventurers.

-Tales of Xadia pg. 158, pg. 160

Top: Rita Fei

Bottom: Mya Roy-Royer

[rovbookshelf]

Eternal Rose Of Versailles

永遠のベルサイユのばら

Publisher: JTB Publishing

Publish date: 2007

160.pg

25 x 18 cm

Contents include:

Character profiles, illustrated story overview, a timeline of the French Revolution, articles on rococo fashion and jewelry, an interview with Riyoko Ikeda and a popup diorama with paper dolls.

and much more..

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/29/2024

new boot goofin. also a great book for the cowboyblogger crew and TWO cat photos

listening

afterimage by JUSTICE and Rimon was on a spotify autogenerated dance playlist and it is So soothing to my brain. sometimes described as heavy metal disco, it itches the same brain scratch as daft punk's interstella 5555. comforting and familiar road trip music where the road trips are in spaceships with a sort of clunky engine thrumming away in the background. you know that extremely early ass o clock in the morning road trip feel where it's very pale and a little misty out and you're only sort of awake? i feel like this is a very different kind of road trip music animal than than late-night road trip music. it's pulling you out the door. it's for beginnings, not for very tired almost-ends.

-

reading

thank you mackie. very reading heavy week. im tryign to redirect myself into library books instead of election doomscrolling and im trying to read more physical books bc i have a tremendous pile of shit i genuinely do want to read and almost none of it is on my phone. first we'll talk about Navigational Entanglements by Aliette de Bodard, from randomly perusing the library stacks. really really really fucking loved this one.

Award-winning author of The Red Scholar’s Wake Aliette de Bodard comes for your heart with a compelling tale of love, duty, and found-family in an exciting new space opera that brings xianxia-style martial arts to the stars. Jockeying navigator clans guide spaceships through the Hollows: an area of space populated by the mysterious but deadly creatures known as Tanglers. When a Tangler escapes the Hollows for the first time in living memory, each clan must send a representative to help capture it—but the mission may be doomed and the hearts of two clan juniors may be in danger too.

first off: this isn't fucking found family. this is a group of coworkers. tor dot com loves to slap found family on anything gay.

politics is about control and inter-group dynamic politics are also about control. and grappling for control in your life when you grow up in a Young Leadership program. i really liked this, one of the least annoying examples of someone getting overstimulated and needing to lie down in a dark quiet room and how hanging out with some people does not impair rest and hanging out with some people is extremely extremely draining. the love interest is what if lee van cleef was a young vietnamese woman in the far future who can navigate faster than light travel.

very snappy little 160-pg novella that does not overstay its welcome. packs a genuinely surprising amount of worldbuilding and character work into its pages: i have a lot of trouble with ensemble casts post-Covid and keeping everyone straight (especially in hard copy form where I can’t easily search a book) but everyone is a fully formed person here and i had no trouble keeping everyone straight in my head. i will be asking my siblings to acquire a physical copy for me for christmas. i love a fucked up political mystery with spacewalks and space monsters.

the lead, nhi, reminded me a lot of friends at the table's brnine, a self-sacrificing perfectionist fish. hope that's useful information to all three of you i have bullied into listening to fatt

The Shabti by Megaera C. Lorenz. this finally came off my holds, hat tip to i think someone else's tuesdaypost? cannot immediately locate it. holler if it was you.

Can you flimflam a ghost? It’s 1934. Former medium Dashiel Quicke travels the country debunking spiritualism and false mediums while struggling to stay ahead of his ex-business partner and lover who wants him back at any cost. During a demonstration at a college campus, Dashiel meets Hermann Goschalk, an Egyptologist who’s convinced that he has a genuine haunted artifact on his hands. Certain there is a rational explanation for whatever is going on with Hermann’s relics, Dashiel would rather skip town, but soon finds himself falling for Hermann. He agrees to take a look after all and learns that something is haunting Hermann’s office indeed. Faced with a real ghost Dashiel is terrified, but when the haunting takes a dangerous turn, he must use the tools of the shady trade he left behind to communicate with this otherworldly spirit before his past closes in.

this keeps getting reviewed as cozy horror, which i do not agree with bc i hate the term and believe it oxymoronic. it is a fairly straightforward romance with paranormal shit happening in the foreground. a period piece not particularly for the folx end of the fag/folx gay book spectrum-- they happen to be gay but there's a lot of other shit happening. not a spicy romance as the tiktok girlies say. it is a period book that sort of elides over the worst parts of the 30s? eg there is no on-page or overt racism or antisemitism that the characters have to Confront. one of the lead's neighbors is a black nurse trying to start a NAACP chapter, but she's so fully fleshed out and such an enjoyable character it doesn't feel like the book is looking for moral points from modern readers. i also liked the general slow-build of the book and their relationship — i have no complaints about the intensity or pace of their relationship.

the one ding i have is that it is perhaps a touch too enthusiastic about period slang. it's fine when the two leads are talking to each other, especially bc their word choice is a large way they show their personality, but when there are more than two people in a scene it can grate a little for me. i do think the dialogue is generally the strong suit here, and the author particularly excels at two-person back and forths, so it’s not a frequent complaint.

i liked the contrast of the scam medium with the academic egyptologist, since many egyptologists were also scams. the scenes with the spirit are genuinely eerie, which is a very good contrast with the fairly straightforward, often sparse narration.

grudging respect for keeping a joke simmering on the back burner for four hundred pages before deploying it. this was a well-paced read i have no major complaints about.

i have to spin this book around in my brain and get a physical copy and flip back and forth and lot and make notes to myself in a separate notebook before i talk about this one here i think. same brain itch as a canticle for leibowitz.

i also read a bunch of comics but this section is already long enough goodbye

-

watching

the first episode of the currently airing penguin tv show! at my bestie's house bc she has an hbo max subscription from something, unfortunately it is an emotionally fraught very tense show and we're kind of full up on those so i will have to finish this on my own. at no point did i say to myself "whoa that's colin farrell". both the prosthetic and accent work are off the charts.

i do Not like a piece of media about the mob. i will stomach it for batman. it's really wild how the accents they've chosen for gotham and her suburbs make me so so so weirdly homesick. one of the locations is an early McMansion and my bestie and i said almost simultaneously "are we in fucking Cherry Hill???" a jersey noveau riche town infested with notable McMansions.

i am constantly chasing the high of s1 black sails where everyone is frantically scheming and falling all over them fucking selves. this gets pretty close! it's big budget prestige tv with the storytelling chops to match so far. one of my favorite comic runs is The Long Halloween, partially about the fortunes of the Maroni and Falcone crime families of Gotham. this is loosely following that, but deviates enough to surprise me, which i enjoy. there have been enough faithful adaptations of that comic run imo.

optimistic about the rest of the season! i have such low expectations for batman media that it's refreshing to get like a genuinely good pilot episode out of the franchise.

-

playing

i have Got to find a new game to play that i already own. genshin is such a good podcast game but i need Something New. surely the 576047357649857689 games across five libraries will save me.

-

making

so many things happened this week. cat neuter and constipation episode. helped take apart and put back together a children's' room. lot of running around.

crunchy! i almost left these docs at goodwill bc i don't have a super high opinion of the company or the quality of the boots. i have heard my ENTIRE life about how long-lasting they are and how people have had the same boots for years but i completely shredded a pair during eight months in 2019. like the soles were worn almost completely smooth to the point they were a slipping hazard, half the eyelets were broken, and the leather was genuinely disintegrating. that was one of the busiest and most active periods of my life (classes at other campuses both semesters, a summer in new hampshire, the beginning of the makerspace) but i did expect them to hold up a little better or a little longer. they only got to experience about a month and a half of salt at the beginning and were regularly cleaned. yes i did buy them straight from the company.

anyway. these extremely ugly docs industrials had almost all their tread and magically fit me. like the rest of me, my feet are large and wide and difficult to fit. they are by Far the ugliest shoes i have ever owned. however. they will be the boots i will wear for when i need to be okay about potentially destroying my footwear.

hit em with some saddle soap and polished the toes, i seem to be flat out of leather conditioner so i was only able to hit the heels and one tongue. the laces are in the warsh.

they're real leather and were twelve dollars and miraculously fit me. you know that quote about americans being temporarily embarrassed millionaires? i still, in many ways, think of myself as a temporarily embarrassed abled person. i am slowly giving up on the idea of another remote job, bc they seem to all be fake, and going harder on city and county jobs. while i would rather wear my beloved CAT steel toes with the nice padded cuffs any day of the week, maybe these will be good for tromping around somewhere inspecting something. would Love a weights and measures inspection job if their office would return my polite messages.

also ruby goes home tonight! goodbye ruby!

[kirensbird]

YOOOO MB I THOUGHT I POSTED THIS ALREADY BUT I JUST SAVED IT TO DRAFT AGHHHHH anyways here yall go

ayup so as I did with wolfsong I took notes while reading ravensong. I LOVED the first half of the book. second half as much. STILL LOVED IT but like I didn't feel as emotional as I felt reading most if not all of wolfsong. anyways 10/10 loved it would erase my memory to read it again

Ravensong

"Like the earth. Like dirt leaves and rain—"

pg 2 - Why, why, why.

pg 6 - "Why can't you say it?" "There's nothing to say." "He loved you,"

pg 7 - "You left me first."

pg 8 - though I'd been a child and hadn't known what it meant.

Three Years

One Month

Twenty-Six Days

pg 17 - packpackpack

pg 22 - "It's like...the earth. Lime dirth and leaves and rain—"

pg 23 - "You don't need to protect me." "Yes, I do,"

pg 28 - Sometimes they were blue. But most times, they burned.

pg 30 - my first thought was Mark and Mark and Mark

pg 31 - god I would hate to be on Gorodo's place rn. these dumb fucking wolves I swear

pg 38 - Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran

pg 39 - I'm sorry

- I found the smell

pg 42 - AHHHH YOUNG MARK AND GORDO ARE SO CUTE

- Joe was lucky and extorvert puppy while Mark was a shy puppy

- I wondered if he didn't get enough pussy. I wondered what pussy was.

pg 43 - WTF IS HAPPENING LMAO

pg 44 - SOMEONE STOP THESE KIDS OMG LOL

pg 51 "Like an approaching storm."

pg 52 - omg Mark is a hopeless romantic lmao

pg 56 - NOOOOO he was gonna give him his wolf 🥺🥺

- HE GAVE HIM A RAVEN 😭😭😭

pg 59 - the cutiesss also Our Life traumatized me from my crush jumping through the window lmao

pg 67 - I got spoiled by this but this is gonna be the cutest shit ever when it happens

pg 69 - I fucking knew it he had a crush on Thomas

- He looked like a wolf

pg 71 - "it was candy canes and pinecones. It was epic and awesome."

pg 73 - Mark was midnight. Mark was sad. Mark was blue.

pg 81 - doggy cuddles :((

pg 83 - I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

pg 87 - He was my shadow

pg 89 - what's these fucking wolves and their age gaps

pg 90 - just boys being boys (I'm gonna cry)

pg 93 - you bitch

pg 101- YES CARTER PLEASE SHUT UP

pg 104 - ofc u waved at a blind person

pg 107 - this is the worst pack ever

pg 111 - OMG THEYRE LOTERALLY END GAME

pg 115 - But I had been running with wolves for going on three years, and I wasn't the man I used to be.

pg 120 - this is the worst coming out ever

pg 123 - WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE A FATHER (he is one BUT NOT MARKS LMAO)

pg 124 - I SWEAR MARK IF UR THE ONE WHO GAVE JOE THE IDEA TO GIVE OX THOSE DEAD ANIMALS IM GONNA—

pg 137 - why does his recurring memory have to be so sad why is it Mark injured and dying why couldn't have been like like Ox's :((

pg 142 - I hate this

pg 143 - I hate this

- "Choose me. Mark."

pg 145 - I allowed myself one last tear over Mark Bennett. But that was it.

pg 147 - One Year Later

- I think I'm gonna puke

ph 149 - technology was an enemy I had yet to destroy.

pg 150 - BRI'ISH

- I was forty years old, and I belonged to a pack of meddlesome bitches.

- we know u love them Gordo <3

pg 152 - OH GOD THEY SENSED ALL OF THAT

pg 154 - I wish I was Robbie rn lmao

ph 158 - IMMEDITALY OK GORDO LMAO

pg 159 - markmarkmark

- RICO U ARE NOT MUCH BETTER

pg 160 - for once I agree with u Jessie

- huhhuhhuh I think I hate this pack

- "I like learning things that will scar me for life." thanks carter

pg 161 - nice

pg 165 - AROMANTIC TANNER LETS GOOO

pg 166 - me too Carter

pg 183 - I decided not to murder them because it would be wrong but because it would have been a mess to deal with

- murder eyebrows :))

pg 185 - WTF JESSIE LMAO

pg 188 - omg it's another intervention

pg 190 - they're so fucking stupid I hate them (there is no but I'm going to murder them after gordo does)

pg 192 - "I'm not grumpier than normal. I'm always like this."

pg 194 - MARK TAKE THE HINT PLEASE

pg 195 - Hi Dale nice to meet you. You should probably run.

- always I kinda wanna see a threesome but don't tell nobody

pg 200 - "It's smoke and ash. But underneath, there's is still dirt and leaves and rain."

pg 215 - "You aren't as much of an asshole as you want everyone to think you are. It's...comforting." "Fuck off, Mark."

pg 230 - my old man yaoi 🥺🥺🥺

- Because I loved him too,

- I wanted to kill him. I wanted to fuck him. I wanted him to tear me apart.

pg 231 - "Gordo," he said, ever the wolf. "No," I said, the perfect prey.

- "But I swear I'm going to be your last." HELP IM CRYING THIS IS ACTUALLY PEAK WTF

pg 233 - mother knows best and she ain't even ur mother lmao

pg 234 - NO ELIZABETH U WERE SUPPOSE TO BE THE BETTER OF THE BENNETS 😭😭

pg 236 - TELL HIM SISTER LET NO MAN TELL U WHAT TO DO

pg 249 - RICO PLEASEE

- These ridiculous humans. How they had the heart of wolves.

pg 253 - I dreamed of ravens and wolves.

pg 263 - "The boy who ran with wolves."

pg 276 - "Rico didn't get me pregnant I swear." YOU BETTER NOT CAUSE I SWEAR ILL KILL U BOTH

pg 294 - hmmm man scent

pg 298 - oh god I hate this

pg 299 - NOOOOOOO 🥺🥺🥺

pg 301 - OX U CUCK

pg 303 - mmm yes very nice wall indeed Mark

pg 306 - we can smell ur horny Mark 🙁

pg 307 - WAIT IS THAT HE WHO I SHOULDNT KNOW OF YET

pg 310 - "You could have become the villian, Gordo. And it would have been within your rights. Instead you just chose to be an asshole."

- BITE ME???? CAN YALL STOP FLIRTIJG IM DYING OVER HERE

pg 312 - LETS FUCKING GO MARK

pg 313 - DALE U BASTARD U RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD THREESOME

pg 321 - fr this hurts too much go back to being an asshole

- Jessie???? 🏳️‍🌈?

pg 322 - Carter nooo lmao

pg 323 - Rico had us in the first half lmao

- also what's with Mark and these witches 🤨

pg 331 - "I think I liked it better when we hated each other." "I never hated you, Gordo."

pg 332 - MAKR PLEASE NOW IS NOT THAT TIME

pg 334 - god this is so cute. I can't wiat for borthersong

- OX TOO SOON OMG

pg 335 - NOT THEM PLAYING TUG OF WAR WITH CARTER LMAO

pg 344 - there was a boy and a wolf

pg 348 - I chose the wolf

pg 349 - hot

pg 350 - HOT

- Gordo gurl use ur words

pg 353 - OMG WTF IS HAPPENING

pg 354 - it feels like I'm reading smut wtf

pg 355 - YOO POWER BOTTOM GORDO

pg 361 - OLD MAN YAOI (I'm sorry but they did it first)

pg 367 - gordo might have a teeth kink

pg 390 - I CANT WITH THIS FOUND FAMILY SHIT BRUHHH

pg 392 - I love teasing Carter

pg 393 - NO DONT GIVE ME THAT SHIT AGAIN

pg 396 - "And I believed him. I believed them all."

pg 414 - ever since u lost ur hand gordo Iyouve changed. LIKE WHY ARE U TELLING JOKES NOW

pg 415 - PLEASE (that would be hot but like) NOT NOW

- who is jorking on my peen

pg 417 - "But it will become a part of you, and one day it'll be bearable."

pg 418 - JOE PLEASE

pg 421 - never change Rico never change

pg 422 - And the moon pulled

pg 423 - "Cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war."

pg 435 - "Look and see what happens to humans who run with wolves."

- kill her please

pg 440 - "Are you with me?" "Gordo."

pg 448 - gurl...

pg 452 - JESSIE PLRASEE I CNAT RIGHT NOW

pg 479 - I didn't understand straight people.

- REAL

pg 485 - "I'll be your hands." "And I'll be your sanity."

- that is such a cute line I love it

[nightcourtreader]

The similarities with Mor & Elain in regards to Azriel

Mor =red & Elain = pink.

Azriel’s shadows

* “Azriel arrived first, no shadows to be seen, my sister a pale, golden mass in his arms. Elain’s golden brown hair snagging in some of the black scales across his chest and shoulders” (pg 253, ACOWAR)

* “That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room” (Pg 693, ACOWAR)

* Elain sucked in a breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They’d always been prone to vanish when she was around. (Az’s BC)

* “It was almost enough to distract me from noticing Azriel as those shadows lightened, and his gaze slid over Mor’s body” (pg 160, ACOMAF)

* “Mor patted Azriel on the shoulder as she dodged his outstretched wing. The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit.” (Pg 161, ACOMAF)

* “Yes—Azriel, who kept a step away, whose shadows trailed him and seemed to fade in her presence” (pg 239, ACOMAF)

* Azriel choked on what I could have sworn was a laugh, his normally shadowed face lightning up as Mor bustled in, pink with cold and puffing air into her hands. (Pg 100, ACOFAS)

Azriel refusing something on the behalf of them, despite them saying yes.

* “We could try again,” Mor said. “Let me speak to them, let me go to their palace—“ “No,” Azriel said. Mor raised her brows, a faint color stained Azriel’s tan face. But his features were set. His hazel eyes solid. “You’re not setting foot in that human realm.” “I fought in the War, you will do well to remember—“ “No,” Azriel said again, refusing to break her stare. His shifting wings rasped against the back of his chair. “They will string you up and make an example out of you.” (pg 391)

* Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “there is an innate darkness to the dread trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” (Page 311)

Blood duels

* “That’s an Autumn Court tradition.” The battle to the death was so brutal it was only enacted in rare cases. Despite being an outsider, Azriel had wanted to invoke it when he’d found Mor all those years ago. Had been ready to challenge both Beron and Eris to Blood Duels and kill them both. Only Mor’s right to claim their heads in vengeance had kept him from doing so.” (Azriel’s bonus chapter)

“Oh, I can, and I will. If Lucien finds out you’re pursuing her, he has every right to defend their bond as he sees fit. Including invoking the blood duel.” “Lucien as beron son, has the right to demand it of you.” “I’ll defeat him with little effort.”

Questioning about the mating bond

* “Azriel,” Rhys said, “has been preoccupied with the same female for the past five hundred years.” “Wouldn’t the mating bond have snapped into place for them if it exist?“ Rhys’s eyes shuttered. “I think that is a question Azriel has been asking himself every day since he met Mor.” (Page 259, ACOMAF)

* “The cauldron chose 3 sisters. Tell me how it’s possible that my 2 brothers are with 2 of the sisters, yet the third was given to another.” He had never before dared speak the words aloud. Rhys face drained of color. “You believe you deserve to be her mate?” Azriel scowled. “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him anyway.” “So you’ll what?” Rhys voice was pure ice. “Seduce her away from him?” Azriel said nothing. He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to. (Azriel’s bonus chapter)

Literally everything Azriel is doing with Elain, he has already done with Mor. It’s nothing new. Azriel questioning about why elain isn’t his mate is not no foreshadowing for them being one true mates or no BS like that because he’s done the same thing with Mor.

We can also see opposite things with mor and Azriel & Elain and Azriel. Azriel decided to avoid Elain but he was quick to agree to be around Mor. He was giving Mor such heated looks that even Feyre, as an outsider in acomaf can see and point out. And Mor was with several lovers. But Azriel, who has sexual feelings for Elain doesn’t even give her the same heated looks when they are with others and he was looking at elain with pity in ACOFAS and no one in this series likes to be pitied. He went out of his way to be closer to Mor, especially in acomaf as much as he can but has done the exact opposite with Elain in acosf.

It’s crazy how people ship Azriel and elain after Feyre said, “And I think Elain—Elain would like it too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet.” I smiled at the thought, how handsome they would be together.” But then she proceeded to say this right after “if the warrior ever stopped quietly loving Mor. I doubted it. Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars. (Page 487, ACOMAF). There was no build up in acomaf of Elriel because it got shot right back down due to Mor. You would think elriels would hate Mor more than Gwyn.

And I’m suppose to think that Elain will be ok with Azriel’s behavior, his cruelty, his icy rage, his violence, when Mor who is a warrior herself, who knows violence gets scared of Azriel behavior.

* “Mor gets spooked. And what Az did today scare the shit out of her.” “The violence?” “The violence as a result of what he feels, lingering guilt over the deal with Eris—and what neither of them will face.” (Page 460, ACOWAR)

This is after the high lords meeting.

* she looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. Such terrible things that it was sacrilege for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence. (Azriel’s bonus chapter)

Azriel knew that Elain only looked at him with trust because she doesn’t know what Azriel really does and who Azriel really is. We know that cruelty & the hewn city bothers Elain and Azriel is the embodiment of cruelty & the hewn city since that’s where he takes his victims and tortures them.

How people don’t see that Elain and Azriel is not a good fit is beyond me.