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strange-lace · 3 years

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Meltdown (Rewrite)

I suddenly decided to do a rewrite of an old story I did for my Monkie Kid OC here since then, she’s gone through quite a bit of changes and I found myself not happy with that story anymore.

Content warning for body horror (it’s kind of the main premise of this fic with Nagi’s shapeshifting powers going wrong). Enjoy!

Nagi had long since became aware that while her shapeshifting was very versatile, it had made her body unstable as a consequence. There was a limit to how much she could shapeshift in a day, how many transformations her body could handle before things got… messy. Both physically and mentally.

She had made a list of symptoms that she could keep an eye out for a long time ago, when it was still new to her. The list had long since been lost during her countless travels but the words were practically etched into her very brain.

Yet the demon seemed to have forgotten the list in most dire of times.

Her new family seeing her meltdowns for the first time.

It was the aftermath of another battle with the Demon Bull King’s forces where Nagi admits, she had already been pushing herself with multiple changes in her form. Shifting into a Bull Clone, numerous animals, Red Son, even a shadow on the wall on one point, all for the purpose of causing confusion for the enemy and allowing openings for MK and Mei to do their thing: causing complete chaos. She wanted to prove herself useful to the team while still remaining a hidden element, an ace up their sleeve if need be.

She was feeling strained after it all but in a pleasant way, like the ache in your muscles after a workout. Exhausted but nothing that she couldn’t handle after some rest or another shot espresso in her system. And the sight of her friends, her family, all gathered together in celebration made her feel a warmth in her chest that she hadn’t felt in a while. Not since…

It wasn’t important now. What was important was teasing her little brother figure for trying too hard to be cool.

“’It’s a beach man, why don’t you take a swim and cool off!’” Nagi mimicked, seamlessly shifting to the form of MK just for emphasis. “You had been waiting to use that one ever since you met Red Son, haven’t you?”

She let out a giggle in her own voice at the sputtering received in response before it devolved into a slight cough, a sudden tickle in the back of her throat. A tickle which soon developed into a full-on coughing fit that left her struggling to speak and had the others looking at her in concern. Now Nagi was the one with an embarrassed flush to her cheeks, gratefully taking the water bottle offered to her by Sandy.

“Looks like I got a little sand down my throat, no big deal!” She said, doing her best to give a reassuring smile while ignoring the strange feeling of… something in her throat.

Symptom #1: Sudden coughing fit followed by the sensation of something building up in the lungs.

Yet even with the water, the constant need to cough just wouldn’t go away. Pigsy and Tang were starting to go from mildly to extremely concerned, especially when the flush on Nagi’s face ceased to go away as they left the artificial beach and back to the shipyard. Not helping was the fact that Nagi was suddenly feeling very warm, to the point that Tang had yelped in shock when he felt her forehead to test her temperature.

If Nagi had sweat glands, she was sure she’d be sweating bullets despite it being a relatively cool day.

Symptom #2: Extreme fever, to the point of body feeling like it’s on fire.

“Nagi, maybe we should have you see a doctor,” Tang said, genuinely starting to fret at the snake demon’s state. Nagi was quick to shake her head at the idea, knocking off the cloth on her forehead that had been soaked in ice water to help with the fever. Going to a doctor was absolutely out of the question for her because, practically speaking, what could they do from someone like her? Human doctors were used to patients with non-regenerating skin, a sturdy skeleton, and ones with typical organs.

None of those things which Nagi possessed.

A part of her was more afraid of just what would be found if anybody had examined her.

“Don’t be ridiculous Tang, it’s just a slight fever! I’m sure I’ll be fine after some rest,” She wheezed, struggling to breathe as the sensation of something in her throat had become thick, cloying and making it difficult for any air to reach her lungs.

Sparks of panic began to bloom in her heart once things started to get fuzzy and blur, as if she was about to pass out. Yet Nagi remained wakeful and suddenly it hit her.

Symptom #3: Sight begins to blur as eyes become unstable.

Her list, how could have forgotten her list.

Shit, it was a meltdown.

She had to leave immediately.

“I just… realized that I have… something to attend to at home. Excuse me,” Nagi said while clumsily attempting to climb off Sandy’s sofa, managing to weave her way past MK, Mei, Tang, and Pigsy before being stopped by the brick wall that was Sandy. She could only wheeze as the room began to spin around her, droplets of something running down her face.

Oh no. That wasn’t sweat.

“Whatever it is, we can take care of it. You should probably just focus on resting Nagi,” Sandy said, placing a hand on her shoulder to reassure her that everything would be fine.

Only for his hand to slowly sink into her shoulder with a nauseating squish sound. And when he pulled away in shock, some of it stuck to his hand to form a goop bridge between the two which drooped lazily before falling to the ground. Nagi could only numbly watch, her hair beginning to droop from MK’s gravity defying spikes before another coughing fit suddenly hit. These were strong enough to force the demon to her knees, hands over her mouth as her lungs convulsed to get whatever was depriving her of air out.

She felt faint relief as she finally hacked up whatever it was clogging her throat.

Only to pull her hands away to see them now stained with a red goop which seemed to fuse with her rapidly softening hands.

Nagi only faintly heard the screams of horror surround her.

Symptom #4: Body begins to destabilize.

“Ah shit…” She mumbled, faintly noting the strings of goop that were trying to glue her lips together. Stumbling to her feet, guilt gnawed at her chest at the sight of the others no longer screaming but the room was still in absolute chaos. MK and Mei were raiding Sandy’s freezer out of hopes that ice could somehow stop her melting, oh right she was indeed melting, while Pigsy did his best to help Tang from getting sick on the living room floor. Sandy was still staring at the slimy remnants of Nagi’s shoulder on his hand, face frozen in shock.

“Sorry Sa-” Her words were cut off with a choke as the world suddenly shifted by only a couple inches, yet Nagi could feel that something had changed. The sensation of a tail sluggishly moving behind her and her ears being much larger gave her a good idea of who she had suddenly shifted to. Or maybe not, as she looked down to see her newfound fur was both peach and black in the pattern of shifting stripes. Her clothes were an unfamiliar mishmash of orange and dark fabrics that were struggling to not fall apart at the seams.

It only hit Nagi that she had hit the next symptom when her tail began to split into two and only seemed to worsen when she tried to reel it in. Her control was slipping through fingers like sand and she was nothing more than a prisoner to the whims of her unstable biology.

Symptom #5: Uncontrollable shifting, often resulting in traits mixing together to a painful degree.

She could only let out a mournful gurgle, regretful at the mess she was making on Sandy’s floor as fat droplets of her being dripped down like candle wax. Said man’s face suddenly lit up, as if hit with a brilliant idea, and Nagi let out a startled wheeze as she was suddenly picked up and gathered into Sandy’s arms. The man visibly struggled for a moment, genuinely surprised at how much she weighed yet persevering. She did her best to not look at the globs of… herself which fell off in clumps that splattered across the hardwood floors and carpet.

Quickly moving to his bathroom, Sandy carefully placed the demon in his large bathtub while making sure to plug the drain. Last thing he wanted was any piece of Nagi going down his drain. She allowed herself to be positioned in the tub, limbs limp and boneless though not out of choice as pain wracked through her body relentlessly. A whimper broke through her waxy lips as large, bull-like horns ripped through the sides of her head, metal material now circling her eyes.

“What’s happening to you Nagi? Is there anything we can to help?” Sandy asked, hearing the others entire the bathroom behind him as they looked upon the bathtub with concern.

“Meltdown… happens when I… use my powers too much,” Nagi wheezed, speaking a struggle as it become more and more difficult to keep her lips separate, the melted strands of her self getting closer to gluing them together. “Can’t do much… except wait it out. Burning up.” She sagged in relief at finally finishing her words, leaning her head against the rim of the tub. Her entire body was on fire, so much so that it was no wonder that she was practically melting.

The loss of sensation in her legs made her look down, only to see her legs begin to melt together into a mockery of a snake tail. Her fangs elongated, poking past her lips, and scales popping out in random patches from her fur, fire hot itchy pain that she had long since grown numb to.

Nagi let out a mix of a croak and squawk in surprise when MK and Mei barged in to start dumping buckets of ice into the bathtub. She could only jolt and squirm helplessly as the cold assaulted her senses, whimpering as she struggled to get out of the tub and away from the cold. Thankfully, Sandy was quick to pull her out of the bath and away from the ice, cradling her against his chest with no mind to her sticking to his hands.

“Kids, you’re not supposed to stick someone with a fever straight into an ice bath, we can’t risk putting Nagi into shock! We gotta start with lukewarm water and work our way from there, C’mon, get this ice out of the bath so we can use it for later.” MK and Mei were quick to follow Sandy’s lead, guilt heavy on their shoulders that they could have hurt Nagi by accident.

Once the tub was clear, Sandy carefully placed the snake demon back in and turned on the faucet. Nagi relaxed as the lukewarm poured over her melty tail, sagging in relief and letting go of the illusion that she had any bones. The mild temperature was a welcome relief to her fever, a sigh leaving her lips.

“There we go, that’s better!” Sandy chirped, patting Nagi on the head before going still again as more goop stuck to his hand. At this point, the previous slime-like residue had dried and caked on his hands, which he was doing his best to ignore until Nagi wasn’t on the knife’s edge of overheating.

“T-Thaaannk yo-” Nagi choked, feeling something almost pop in her chest and in a snap, Sandy’s tub was on the verge of overflowing. He hurriedly cut off the tap, just as surprised to see that a tub that almost looked comically large for Nagi’s small frame could now barely hold her in, the tip of her tail trailing to the bathroom floor. She could only let out a wheeze that was questioning the universe as to why she must suffer this constant discomfort and torment.

“Well that’s… new. You alright there Nagi?” Mo echoed his concerned sentiments, giving a curious meow by the door of the bathroom.

“Juuuuuuussst fiiiiinnnnne,” she said, her words slurring but not wanting to worry Sandy more. Nagi wiggled about to try and get comfortable while he slowly began to add more water to the bath of colder and colder temperature. As the water’s temperature began to drop, the snake demon’s shivering only got worse but Sandy noticed that the rate of her “melting” was slowing down too. He took that as a good sign if anything.

They continued this for hours with Sandy eventually switching places with Tang and Pigsy once the two noticed he looked exhausted.

“Ti… tiiiiirrrrred,” Nagi hissed quietly, struggling to keep her eyes open now that she didn’t feel on the border of falling apart anymore. Her mind and ability to speak was still as coherent as syrup but all the internal alarms were quiet now and she didn’t feel like she was approaching death’s door. “Wanna sleep…”

“I know you wanna kid, just try and eat some of this broth, okay? You need to eat something after all this,” Pigsy said, his tone soft as he held the bowl of warm broth to her lips. She whined but complied, taking cautious sips to put something in her stomach. Turns out being in agony for hours worked up an appetite as Nagi found herself close to devouring the bowl itself once it hit her how hungry she was now.

Thankfully Pigsy was able to pull away fast enough that he didn’t lose his hands by accident.

“Hey don’t eat Pigsy’s hands, he needs those! Take it slow, last thing we need you upsetting your stomach,” Tang joked, less unnerved at the sight of Nagi’s unhinging her jaw with the Monkey King’s face since everything she could do and would do in future paled in comparison to what he witnessed today. In a way, seeing her so vulnerable made her slightly less terrifying to the man.

Just a bit.

Nagi, nonetheless, did what she was told and slowly finished the broth. With her belly not eating itself in hunger and instead filled with warm broth, she couldn’t help the purr which rumbled in her chest. Eyes sluggishly began to close and this time, she didn’t bother fighting the pull of sleep and instead welcomed it. Sleep was always gentler with her compared to the abrupt darkness that was passing out from the agony of a meltdown.

Tang and Pigsy couldn’t help the sighs of relief once they saw that Nagi was finally asleep.

“So… we gonna talk about what happened or…”

“For now, let’s just help Sandy… clean the place up. We can talk about everything when Nagi wakes up. However long that takes.”

Tang let out another sigh before taking off his glasses to clean them. A nervous tic of his.

He could work with that. They could all work with that.

For now.

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #monkie kid oc #nagi #sandy #pigsy #tang #mk #mei #mo #my writing #fanfiction

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yastaghr · 4 years

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Writing it Down

Summary: Gaster is messing around with science and accidentally induces an artificial heat. Luckily his husband, Sans, is willing to help.

Relationship: Sanster

Warnings: None

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26629375

Gaster watched as his creation bubbled. It was currently a bright blue and fairly caustic, but he hoped that by adding the sulphide that it would stabilize the concoction into a more useful cleaning agent. Humans were obsessed with such weird things. He didn’t understand why they needed such a wide variety of cleaning agents, but the client was paying well, it was an interesting challenge, and he needed to do something to get back into the game after so long.

This had seemed like a good plan at the time, but when he added the chemical to the solution it had… unanticipated results. For one thing, it blew up. That really shouldn’t happen in a casual lab like his, but magic always had an unpredictable factor that could make even the simplest of activities exciting.

For another thing, it didn’t burn. Most cleaning products should not be applied to skin (or bone), but this one definitely wasn’t behaving like a cleaning product. When he wiped the blue goop off of his safety goggles he discovered that the entire room was covered in a thin layer of bubbling goop, including him. There wasn’t much that was actually touching him thanks to his insistence on proper safety gear. It only seemed to have gotten on the exposed bone of his skull.

Finally, the mess it had made seemed to be giving off a strong smell. Gaster sniffed it experimentally. It seemed to invade his sinus cavities and fill his brain. He huffed, trying to get the smell out of him (really, what was he thinking?) but it was too late. The musky smell already seemed to have affected him, along with the rest of his physical exposure. He could feel his joints throbbing as magic gathered in the narrow ley lines there, the room suddenly felt too hot, and his mental process was interrupted with one thought: Sans.

Where was Sans? Wasn’t he here a bit ago? Gaster urgently needed to find him to deal with this… ah, that was what it was. The solution he had created had induced an artificial heat. Well, he definitely needed his boyfriend for that, didn’t he? Besides, Sans was his supervisor. This was definitely the kind of accident you should report.

Gaster took one second to peel back the layer of magic that lined the room and made cleaning a breeze, dumped the mess in an appropriate way, and reapplied the layer of magic. He took another second to strip the PPE off of him and wash his face off in the sink. A third second was spent writing down a few quick notes in the log. The only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down! Then he opened the door that led to their break area and sang, “Sa~ans! I had an accident!"

For some reason, that statement did not have the desired effect. Sans jumped up from where he had been making notes in his notebook. He must have gotten at least two seconds of hangtime. That was impressive. His face, however, was not. He looked scared to death.

“gaster, are you alright? are you injured? oh, stars, i knew i shouldn’t have left you alone in there. there’s a reason why you used to insist on the buddy system when working with dangerous chemicals. where are you hurt? do i need to call an ambu-” Sans scarcely paused for breath throughout the entire speech.

Gaster interrupted him, “I’m fine, Sans. It appears as though the solution I created can induce artificial heats, however. I can already feel my magic gathering, and I’m sure I must smell delicious.”

Sans narrowed his eyes at him. “really. you’re sure you aren’t just horny and want to fuck? you know, like last time?”

“Ah, no,” Gaster could feel himself blushing, “I’ll admit that was… somewhat ill-advised. I should have just told you the truth. I apologize again. However, this time I really do think I’m in heat. You can smell for yourself and check my joints for comparison if you wish, and, if you so desire, I can teleport home and make use of one of our toys.”

Sans sniffed and shook his head. “no, i believe you. you smell like musk and black licorice. just let me finish up this observation and then i’ll help you. you might as well strip while I do that.”

Gaster shivered. He loved it when Sans got so commanding. It made his whole body shiver, not with cold or fever, but with desire. He striped out of his clothes faster than he ever had before. His body, which still retained some of its goopy properties even after all this time, was glowing faintly purple. His genitals had already formed a thin, tendril-like length on his pelvis. Gaster waved it experimentally. Yes, it still worked.

Sans finished scrawling that obnoxious excuse for handwriting of his and set the pencil aside. Then he looked up, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye. He stood up and sashayed over to Gaster, palming his dick almost immediately. “someone’s got a boner, heh heh heh.”

A smooth hand with a hole in its palm cupped the side of Sans’ face lovingly. “Oh, yes. Only for you, Sans.”

Sans’ grin spread. “now me, i don’t usually get aroused so easily, but your scent has got me going, doc. you in the mood for a pussy or an ass?”

Gaster sported a grin of his own. “Oh, whatever you’re in the mood for, Sans, you know that. Although… it has been a long time since I have gotten to cum inside your womb. Maybe you would oblige an old man and form one?”

“oh, you’re not that old, doc. you’ve still got the energy to fuck me senseless on a regular basis, right?” Sans joked as he wrapped his hand around Gaster’s length, pumping it teasingly in the way he knew would drive Gaster nuts. “i bet that you can cum more than once.”

Gaster countered, “I can’t do that if you make me waste a load outside of you. Please, pull down your pants and get on the table.”

“geez, buy a guy a drink first,” Sans said with a wink as he lowered his pants. His magic was summoned, the dark blue ecto body puffy and fat, just like Gaster liked it. His pussy was already glistening with precum. When Gaster ran his fingers through it it was already slick.

“Hmm, it seems like I’m not the only one who has a boner. Or, at least, the pussy’s equivalent,” Gaster said with a smile. “Now all we need is a little bit of foreplay and we can start. Oh, and you still need to get on the table, Sans. Don’t think I haven’t noticed your lack of compliance. Get on the table on your stomach, please, with your legs dangling off the edge.”

Sans scrambled to comply, just like Gaster knew he would. Being fucked from behind like that, as well as being unable to do anything about it one way or the other, were two of Sans’ favorite things when it came to sex. He loved it when Gaster took control. Just for the icing on the cake, Gaster said, “Oh, and put your arms behind your back with the forearms together. I need a good handhold if I’m to fuck you well.”

Oh, that got Sans going. He was absolutely dripping by the time he was in position. Gaster helped him get his hands into the right position with one hand while his other hand gathered up slick. Then, without any warning, he slipped a finger inside of Sans and held it still. Sans clenched around him, but Gaster had to fight this heat to not start moving immediately. He knew it would be more fun for both of them if he did this right.

It wasn’t too long before Sans pleaded, “doc, you’ve gotta move! you’re driving us both nuts when all we both want is for you to stick your dick inside me!”

Gaster groaned. Dirty talk was one of his biggest kinks and Sans knew it. “Oh, you little sneak. I’m not going to fall for it, though. I want you to really enjoy this, and you’re no masochist. I need to make sure you’re prepared.”

“Then at least move your damned finger! or, better yet, put in a second one and get to work! i can handle it. please!” Sans begged.

“Impatient,” Gaster tutted, “but you have a point.” He inserted a second finger and began working them. The wet sounds his fingers made as they scissored Sans open were music to Gaster’s non-existent ears. He listened to them, dick twitching, until he was sure that Sans could take him. Then he pulled them out to the tune of a groan from Sans. “Easy, Sans. I’m sure you’ll like what I’m about to do to you a hell of a lot more than just my fingers.”

Sans whined. “oh, please doc, slide that sexy tentacle of yours inside me. fuck, i can already picture it. please!”

Gaster obliged him, thrusting his whole dick into Sans in one go. Sans’ pussy spasmed around him, but Gaster was done waiting. He gripped Sans’ arms with both hands and set a brutal pace. Sans groaned and moaned his name, but Gaster was beyond words, at least for now. This artificial heat had built up inside of him to the point where he needed to get off before he could use words.

Sans didn’t seem to mind. “fuck, doc~ you feel so good inside me. i can feel you all the way inside me. your length is perfect for me, and this pace- this pace is wonderful! mmh, yes.”

His words only drove Gaster on faster. Soon the friction built to the point where Gaster felt he was about to cum. He buried himself up to the hilt inside of Sans and let his orgasm rock over him. Purple seed spurted inside of Sans’ womb. Gaster saw it when he flipped Sans over onto his back. The little pool of purple got him going again. He snapped his hips back and resumed his rough pace. Sans’ moans grew until they were a cacophony of sound.

“Oh, Sans, you have no idea how good this feels. You like this, huh? You like my twisty little dick cavorting inside your cunt? You like it when I make the table squeak across the linoleum with every thrust? You like being helpless in the face of my need to fuck?” Gaster asked lasciviously.

Sans groaned. “fu~ck! doc, i love it! i love your twisty little tentacle in my big, fat hole. I love the way it feels against my g-spot. oh, fuck, i’m getting close!”

Gaster moaned and sped up his thrusts. “Oh, please, squeeze your pussy tight around me!”

His husband obliged, cumming with a cry and clamping down on his dick. Gaster, spurred on by his induced heat, pounded him right through his orgasm and out the other side. Sans’ cries grew desperate as another orgasm built inside him. Gaster dragged at his hips, slamming into Sans’ pussy and stroking his good spots.

This time, when Sans came, it was with a wail. He went on fucking Sans right through it, his own orgasm just a few more strokes away. Sans squirmed and Gaster tried to pull out. He didn’t want to make his husband uncomfortable. However, Sans grabbed his arms and dragged himself back onto Gaster’s tentacle until it was buried to the hilt. “keep it up, g. i’ve got another one in me, and i’m sure you do. you still smell worse than my sock collection.”

That comment made Gaster growl and turn up the intensity from 9 to 14. “Oh, really? You think I smell bad? Or do you just want another load of cum in your chubby, tight pussy?”

Sans didn’t answer him. He was too busy trying to breathe. His tongue was bouncing up and down along with his ecto fat folds. His eye lights had gone out. Gaster grinned. He loved making Sans lose it like that. He kept on fucking Sans hard until his own orgasm overcame him. He buried himself up to the hilt again, and this time he got to see his own dark purple magic spurting into Sans’ womb. He grinned. Oh, how his possessive side loved to see that. It was so… satisfying.

Gaster waited a bit to see if the heat was satisfied yet or not. Partially seemed to be the answer. It was satiated enough to let him take a break and take care of his husband. Gaster scooped Sans up in his arms and headed for the bathroom.

#undertale lemon #sanster #sans #gaster #writing it down fic #yastaghr

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mrneighbourlove · 4 years

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Fall of a Dynasty: Ch 1. No Negotiations This Time

Emperor Zannah of the Kikai Empire had seen better days as a ruler. The start of winter, years after her children’s terrible accident at the earthquake did political turmoil sprout in her Empire. Many started to vocally denounce her rule. Many from the Romtan tribes and the newest of the colonized islands included this. When she tried to quell their protests with non violent means, they quickly sprang violence against her, surprising her militia. A man by the name of Jaster Fett appeared, almost out of nowhere, as a voice of the Hasai people, and those who felt themselves oppressed in the Empire. She found this odd, seeing as he held so much political power and had so many supporters, yet she never heard of such a man before. Over a magic mirror gifted to her from Hyrule, Zannah was currently in communication with Annuciata regarding assistance. “My dear. Is there nothing Danjur can do? Fighting has broken out across the islands. This Fett fool is citing the people to overthrow me. To overthrow monarchy and the Empire for the sake of a little peasant democracy.”

"I can send more supplies if you need them, my love, but as far as war goes, I have to abide by the treaty signed so long ago." Annuciata spoke to Zannah by the magic mirrors provided to them as a gift from Queen Zarazu. "Your only hope is to take out this Jaster and make an example of him. Besides, if I moved my forces there, I would risk hurting your people. How could my men and women tell the difference between the foes and the innocents?" She sighed, running a hand down her face. "I'm so sorry, Zannah. I honestly do not know what to do."

“Listen. You’re looking after the twins. In their current state, I couldn’t risk their safety with me.” Griffith seemed to naturally burn any attachments given to him, and if Athena wasn’t wearing her bandages, she always had a simple mask on to hide her face. Least her son was more vocal from time to time. Athena said nothing any more out of choice. It broke Zannah’s heart to see them both so hurt.

"And I'll continue to look after them, but let me tell you, they're more stubborn than you are, and if Griffith burns this next prototype, I'm dunking him in an ice bath. Or giving him a spanking one." Annuciata sounded more annoyed than she did threatening. "He even made Eleonora cry cause she tried to help him and he was acting like a jerk. At least Athena is still being nice to her baby sister, even if she's not talking. Eleonora played a game of checkers with her, and it seemed to lift her spirits a little. She ate more for lunch that day from what the servants noticed from her tray."

“That’s good. That’s very good progress indeed.”

Her boat rocked, and she jumped slightly. “Ah, sorry. I’m currently sailing to Hyrule. Too stormy for flight, but my ship can power on through. I’m going to try and appeal to King Covarog’s sense of ego to assist me. Jaster Fett has proven ever elusive.”

“Emperor Zannah?”

“Not now.” Zannah shook her head. “I’ll message you at another time my love. Need to address an issue I take.”

"Be safe, Zannah, and do be sure to contact me as soon as you hit land." Annuciata watched as Zannah's image started to fade. "Don't worry about the twins, I'll take care of them." Then the Queen of Danjur looked at the clock. It was a little after lunch. Griffith's new prototypes were to be delivered in fifteen minutes. So, she decided to take the task upon herself to get his legs fitted correctly. Walking down the hall, she stopped at the entrance to his room. "Griffith, darling, it's me, I'm coming in."

“Oh. Don’t worry. I’m decent.” The Prince sounded bored behind the door.

Good goddesses, did all young people like to keep their rooms dark? All the curtains were drawn. Nonetheless, she was here to ensure that this meeting went well. The young man had melted his prototypes, tossed one off the balcony, and other he used as a weapon to threaten the physical therapist. This was going to stop right now.

"Good, today, I'm going to help with your new prototypes that I designed for you." Annuciata opened a couple of the curtains. "Then, we'll go to see your sister."

Griffith’s features immediately frowned. “No. I don’t think we will. I appreciate you looking after us, but I won’t endure anymore failures.”

"Griffith, they're not failures. You keep tossing them away, the prototypes never had a chance." Annuciata then approached his bed. "I promised your mother that I would take care of you and that's what I'm going to do. As your mother's bonded one, that means you're my responsibility too. My kid. You're going to put on a smile and be on your best behavior. Athena is at least being nice, and trying what her sister comes up with. Eleonora is working hard trying to find a solution for your sister." She told him firmly, "You're going to be cordial and listen to the therapist. Do I make myself clear?"

“Athena doesn’t speak a word. She doesn’t smile. She doesn’t show her face.” Griffith grunted as he picked himself off the bed and into the wheel chair. “My body won’t play host to your mechanical monstrosities. Being T0-D 2 is not my idea of an ideal life. And they are failures if they burn so easily.”

Annuciata reached down and pulled the brakes on his wheelchair, giving the young man a hard stare. "I'm not turning you into Tod. I'm making you new legs so you won't be stuck in a wheelchair, being a grump for the rest of your life." She put a finger on his nose. "And Athena may not do any of those things right now, but at least she isn't being an ass to her baby sister or her stepmother. Now, you're going to listen and you're going to try these new legs. I worked very hard on the design, just for you."

When there was a small knock on the door, Annuciata answered to let the physical therapist inside the room.

Griffith tensed, his hands gripping the chair. “They better not hurt.”

"The legs won't hurt, Griffith, they'll just take a little of getting used to." Annuciata took the prosthetic legs from their case. All the necessary gears were in place for proper bending. The neurotransmitter pads were in place to pick up on Griffith's brain signals. She held up the first leg. "Lightweight, sturdy titanium. Easy to learn how to use and look," She held up the leg so Griffith could see. "Eleonora designed a soft, comfortable neurotransmitter pad. It's more comfortable than the itchy sock that protects your skin. Let's give it a try."

“If it hurts me, I’ll burn it.” The crippled man was already mentally defeated, not even thinking of a possibility where he could walk again.

Annuciata gave him a swat on the hand. "You. Will. Not." The Queen of Danjur scolded him, "I have worked tirelessly on these for you, wanting to take care of you. You will stop acting like a teenage brat and try these legs that I crafted for you without a temper tantrum."

“If they hurt than they were shit legs.”

Getting very tired of Griffith's attitude, Annuciata decided to take one from Zarazu's book. It worked with her children. Maybe it would get Griffith's attention. So she flicked his nose. "Stop being a jerk. Or next time, you get a spanking." With that done, she put on the first leg. Then carefully placed the second one. "There. Now, slowly try to stand up. Here, hold my hand."

“I’m in my thirties. You can’t spank me...” With the legs strapped on, his stumps tried to burn through the connections. It was like white blood cells trying to fight off the new and unknown limbs.

"I can if I so like, I'm your stepmother, and you're acting like a child, so I might as well treat you like one." Annuciata chided Griffith. "You can do this. It's just like putting on armor over your legs. Just think of it as an extension of your body."

“It’s unnatural!” Griffith’s pads started to overheat now. He was becoming angry with how awkwardly he was walking.

"I know it's unnatural, but it will be something you will have to get used to!" Annuciata smelled the pads burning and immediately set Griffith back down into the wheelchair. She tried to remove the legs but, in her haste, forgot that metal heats very rapidly. Yanking back her hands, the Queen of Danjur was frustrated. Standing suddenly, she grumbled under her breath. "You know what? Fine. I'm not going to waste my time with someone who won't even try. Use the legs, or don't use them." She wheeled Griffith over to the balcony so he could enjoy some fresh air and the sights of the evening sky. "I'm going to go check on your sister and maybe when you're in a better mood, you can see your sister."

With that, she slammed the door.

“I AM trying! Go to hell! My life is ruined anyway!” Griffith tossed one of the legs at the nurse maid. “Get out!!!”

Annuciata hoped the Eleonora was having better success. She heard her daughter talking to Athena from outside the door and decided to listen.

"Okay, so I just figured out how I can clone some skin cells, it's in the beginning stages, but maybe I can create an artificial layer of skin for you." Eleonora was cheery as always, sitting on her sister's bed, talking to her. "I know you can't see it too good, but here, feel of it." She gently took Athena's finger and stuck it against the putty goop in the petri-dish. "Gross, I know, but those are healthy, growing skin cells."

Athena felt them carefully, her thumbs massaging the goop. Currently, she had a mask almost sealed to her face. The princess gave her little step sister a nod of approval.

"I don't know how long it will take, but I'll keep trying until I have healthy layers of skin for you. So you can’t give up, okay, sis?" Eleonora held Athena's hand tightly. "I keep trying for Griffith too with the neurotransmitter pad, but... Mom says he keeps burning through them. I don't know what else to do."

Athena once again, could only nod. Looking to her right, she meekly tried to reach a sketch paper and pen.

"Here, I got it." Eleonora handed Athena the very gaudy, glitter covered, unicorn sparkle notepad. "... okay, I know it's silly, but I still think stuff like this is cute." She placed the pen in Athena's hand and held the notepad steady for her.

Carefully, Athena slowly drew. While slowly, and almost lifeless in her movements, it dawned on Eleonora the wrath that was bubbling with in. The subject of the art was Zizi and her spirit Patheon being cut apart into pieces and set on fire.

"... um..." Eleonora was silent for a moment and then sighed. "Sis, you do know that Zizi is the one that pulled you from the ground? She didn't cause the earthquake. Earth Sages don't have that kind of power." She spoke very quietly. "Besides, Zizi and Mama have bad history, yeah, but I don't think she'd ever try to hurt you. You didn't do anything to her. Neither did your brother. Mom said Mama was on her way to Hyrule to talk to King Covarog about some diplomatic issues. Maybe... maybe they might have a healer that could help too. I sent a letter to Naira in Uskar... maybe we'll hear something back."

Athena stabbed the paper, her hands shaking with fury. Moving the pencil with a fist, she wrote out one sentence. “Why aren’t I dead?”

"...?! Dead?!" Eleonora looked at her sister. "You... wanted Zizi to leave you there?"

Noises left Athena’s throat. It was if, despite a small part of her wanting to speak words, she was forced to talk in a beast’s tongue, with light angry gargles leaving her throat. All she could do was continue to write. “Her god could have done more. I have lost all my beauty. Zizi humiliated my families honour. A peasant wench. Curse her and her gods. She should have killed me. My mother should have killed me. Death. Death. Death. Death. Death. Death. Death. Death-“ Athena was in a trance now, not writing any other word.

"I... don't know much about deities." Eleonora carefully took hold of both Athena's hands, snapping her out of her trance. "I only know to be fair, Athena. That's what Mom taught me. Even she has to see both sides of the story." She felt pity for her sister. The princess felt even worse when she knew there was nothing she could really do to ease her sister's pain. "But... I don't think you should have died. I would have missed you. Mom would have missed you. Your brother, Mama... besides, Hasai don't give up that easily, do they?" She said softly. "I don't want you to go anywhere. I don't care what you look like. You're still my sister and I love you."

Athena reached her arms out around Eleonora. Like a zombie, she let out a small moan of comfort as she hugged deep around her. This moan turned into raspy tears as she cried. The crown prince and princess would never be the same. Or at least, they wouldn’t recover in time for the sake of the Empires future.

"Please don't cry, Athena, I'll find a way to fix this for you. That's what sisters are for, they help each other." Eleonora held tightly to her elder sibling. "You're safe here with me and Mom. We'll take care of you, okay? Please don't be sad."

Zannah’s ship had finally arrived at Zora’s Domain. Taking a horse carriage escort, the Emperor was accompanied by her elite honour guards out of the domain. The storm over the ocean had carried into Hyrule, rain pelting the landscape. Her mind weighed heavily on how she was going to approach King Covarog. The man still held a grudge, probably more so if he knew what she did to his sister in law by now. It would certainly make negotiations far more difficult.

Events of Fate, however, would fall into place momentarily. Viewing her cart from not to far away, a cloaked man peered at her escort with a telescope. “That’s her alright. This dark winter evening will mark the day the Revolution will land its greatest victory. Today is the day the false Empress dies. Execute them.”

Zannah sighed, tapping her finger on the arm rest of her cart, wishing how she didn’t have to take the long way. Suddenly she heard a thunk at the back window, followed by a tick. Wisdom and instinct told her run. She was just barely both feet out the cart, when her carriage suddenly exploded into pieces. The force launched her into the dense forest, and her guards caught up in confusion. This chaos suddenly made them easy targets, as arrow fire launched outwards, striking her honour guard one by one. They were blown apart by blue light, with them trying to launch bolts of fire back. “Protect the Emperor! Protect her with your lives!”

Zannah stood up, ready to fire lightning at her assassins, when she felt a spike of pain and one of her kneecaps snap. A bolt found its mark, and it sent the Emperor limping to find cover. It was closer inspection, when she noticed who the identity of her attackers was. They were her strike force, the Theron Guards. A scream of fury escaped Zannah, disregarding her need to keep hidden behind cover. “T-traitors!”

She felt her leg worsen with every step, and knew that escape was becoming her best option. No honour in it, but living was far more valuable than honour at the moment. Eying a panicked horse, she hobbled towards it with the firefight worsening around her. Her guards gave their lives so that she could flee. The Theron killed all the Honour Guard, but they gladly gave their lives so she could survive. Hosting herself on a white stallion, she took off down the muddy road to central Hyrule. She turned to intercept arrows with magic, her fire detonating projectiles aimed at herself and her steed. The Theron knew that they failed in the initial attack, so when she disappeared down the trail, they didn’t follow with haste. They maimed her, caused her to flee. That alone was a form of victory. Besides, they could follow the trial soon enough.

Zannah traveled fast and long into Hyrule from the West. Soaked to the bone, and bleeding from her kneecap and a lucky shot in her back, the Emperor found herself in country territory, not too far from Castle Town. Could find salvation from this terrible fate?

________________________________________________________________

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/614055858328977408/fall-of-a-dynasty-ch-2-friends-in-high-places

Crossover with @ridersoftheapocalypse. Shared world with @s-kinnaly. Enjoy a new arc! Will feature @figmentforms Rinku more prominently.

#Crossover #ridersoftheapocalypse #Zannah #Annuciata #Rinku #Zizi #Covarog #Bonegrinder #Leere #Ralnor #hasai

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happypledis · 6 years

Text

Into the Dark: Minghao (Rivals to Lovers)

Summary: You and Minghao are competing for the last place as permanent staff at a Haunted House. You are given one night to prove yourselves by scaring the most people. Genre: Fluff (I write fluff exclusively... fight me) Members: Minghao x reader, Seungkwan Word Count: 3,742 Warnings: Haunted House/Halloween-related creepy content/fake blood decorations Caratober: Day 1 Dark (just posted late, sorry! I’m a college student!)

Where is he? You wonder. I can’t believe he's my competition. I guess this already means I’ll get the spot?

“We’re open in five, everyone! Places!” Your manager calls. As she darts from room to room, her ragged, blood-colored cloak trails out from behind her like a shadow.

From across the room, Seungkwan, one of your closest friends (and someone you hope will be a future coworker) laughs. He is playing a servant, shirt and breeches tattered and smeared with dark-colored goop. His face is smeared too. “It’s always weird to see someone as cheery as her dressed as something so creepy. Did you know that every year, she always picks the creepiest costume?”

You laugh too, picking up the train of your long dress as you walk towards your hiding spot: an old, gnarly tree tree with a little panel that swings away when you push it, so you can hide inside. “No way, really?”

“Yup! It’s weird.” He disappears into his hiding spot: right behind a recess in the wall next to the door, which currently has been designed to look like it’s falling off its hinges. Seungkwan pops his head back out a second later. "Hey, Minghao is my friend... but so are you. So I’m wishing you both the best of luck tonight.”

“Thank you,” you say. “But I already like the environment here, so I’ll have to destroy him. Do you think I’d be a good fit?” I’m on time, at least, you add silently.

“Yes, but at this point, we can’t decide, so that’s why we’re trying to both out tonight to see.” Seungkwan breaks into a mock-serious expression. “ And please, no physical destruction. I don’t want either of you hurt.”

“Fine,” you say, faking a sigh.

“Are you ready?” Seungkwan asks.

“Well, I’m a little nervous, I have to admit,” you say, honestly. You’ve heard the stories from other coworkers: that some customers get mad when they get scared, and will take it out on the first person they see. You’re glad your spot has a panel that you can pull shut if you need to.

He frowns, opening his mouth to speak, when a rush of cold air passes behind you and a low voice tickles your ear. “Why?”

You force yourself to not give him the satisfaction of seeing you jump. Instead, you try to keep your voice nonchalant as possible, which is hard considering the scare, and how close he is. “Oh, there you are. I suppose you must not feel ready either, if you’re already getting a head start on scaring, hm?”

From across the room, your coworker laughs. “Admit it--she got you, Minghao.”

You swirl around to face Minghao before he can retort back, your velvety cloak awkwardly swinging against your back. His eyes are narrow and mouth open as he prepares to bite back, but he blinks quickly, taking a step back, as you meet eyes.

I guess I really did scare him that time?

“Two can play at this game,” you tease, encouraged. Your heart is still beating fast as you take a second to look at his costume--to judge your competition, you need to know what you’re competing with, you tell yourself. He wears a loose-fitting blue robe with gold trim, and dark makeup is messily smudged around his eyes. His hair looks like a rat’s nest, which is very different than the usual way he styles it. You find yourself smirking. He doesn’t really look like he belongs in a haunted house at all. There’s no gore on his costume whatsoever. In fact, it looks almost good. Flattering. If he picked it himself, he would definitely have an eye for fashion.

From behind the door, you hear what sounds like a snort, but you don’t really think your teasing was funny enough to warrant one. You try to peek over and look, but Seungkwan is nowhere to be seen.

The lights overhead flicker off, and the fake torches and candles overhead begin to glow softly, marking a minute til. You turn back to your competition. The lights cast strange shadows across his face, and you are forced to admit that you do find him attractive. Despite... everything.

You shake your head, clearing it, and step away. “Now’s our cue,” you say, ducking down behind the carriage. He finds his spot, a cobweb-covered old-timey carriage, and quickly disappears. The sound system clicks on, and the room is full of owls’ hooting and bats’ screeching. A wolf’s lonely howl is thrown in every once in a while, too.

If you and Minghao had met under any other circumstances... well, you know you wouldn’t hate him. In fact, he had a personality that complemented yours well--before the two of you were told that, with only one spot left on the permanent team, you’d have to compete to earn it. Before that, you’d actually hoped to at least befriend him, what with being the two newbies trying to prove your places. But apparently you’re both competitive by nature...and apparently that nature beat out anything else that could have grown between you.

“Good luck,” Minghao suddenly calls. “You'll need it.”

“And why is that?” You ask, expecting a punch line.

“Because tonight, you look more pretty than scary,” he says, so quiet you almost can’t hear it. “So the odds don’t look good for you. Even if you do.”

And this time, it’s you who is left with their mouth hanging open, because the first customer steps through the doors. And then another one right behind them. They must be a couple, because the slightly shorter figure dashes up to keep pace with the first, and grabs their hand.

He’s trying to get into my head, you think, as you watch their approach. I have to time it right, and he’s... saying stuff like that. Ugh.

You carefully lean towards the panel, and wait until you can hear the couples’ whispers. Then you swing it open and let out a shriek. The couple jumps away, squealing, and you settle back inside the tree.

Sighing, you stare at the hinges of the panel, waiting to hear what Minghao does. Seungkwan is here to gauge the loudness of the screams the two of you earn, and whichever one gets more, will win the spot.

You’re not sure what Minghao did, but you hear the couple squeal even louder for him. If you’re only going to get squeals, you’ll basically be handing the job to him.

I do look scary, you think. I don’t know what he’s talking about. He has to be trying to psyche me out because he knows he doesn’t look the part. You’d spent forever on your dark makeup, and it will pay off.

Then you hear Seungkwan, with his two years of experience, let out a very scary groan. The couple screams, their footsteps fading fast as they start to run.

When they’re gone, Minghao calls your name. You sigh again. But since you know there’ll be another few seconds before the next customers come in, you grudgingly peek out.

“See what I mean?” He asks, raising his eyebrows.

“Just give me some time and I’ll easily prove you wrong.”

“And why would you win against me, when I obviously am the better candidate here?” He cocks his head, messy hair falling into his eyes.

“Because I could say the same for you,” you sputter out. Chill, you tell yourself. Don’t let him make you lose your cool.

He crosses his arms against his chest. “What does that mean?”

Ugh. “You look too good to be scary,” you hiss.

“Wha--” he stops, and something flashes over his face--and you realize what you just said. How it sounded. What it revealed.

He opens his mouth to speak again.

And then you both hear the laughter of a large group of customers coming. So you turn and fling yourself back. Back inside. Back into the darkness to hide your face as it starts to burn red.

Stupid.

* * *

The hours pass, and your throat starts to hurt. You hope Seungkwan is keeping good track, because to your ears, the reactions sound pretty equal. At least right now.

You’ve decided to switch things up sometimes--to leap out of the tree instead of sliding, to let the panel burst open instead of silently glide, or to duck low or stand high, depending on the people. It seems like switching it up causes better reactions, once you get a feel for who would be scared more by what. You wonder if Minghao has caught on to your tactics--because you know he can see you. But because you can’t see him, you don’t know.

In the slow periods, your brain keeps running in circles. Why did I say that? What he said... that’s just him getting to me. But the way I said it? It’s obvious I feel something. Maybe that’s why Seungkwan snorted earlier... was I staring too long? Oh, man. I guess I was staring if he noticed from all the way behind us.

You lean your head against the panel. So stupid.

* * *

Finally, finally, it nears the end of the night. Instead of seconds between customers, it becomes one minute, then two, then three. You know the line is dwindling now, and soon you’ll all be able to head home. And you’ll find out whether or not you won.

I don’t even know if it could be me anymore, you think, sighing.

Your phone buzzes in the little pouch you’re wearing at your hip (since your dress didn’t have pockets), and since you can’t hear anyone coming, you pull it out and read the message. It’s from Seungkwan and it says Almost time now. He’s put you and Minghao in a group chat.

Yup, you text back, unsure why he said that when you can keep on eye on the clock yourself.

Do you feel it? I can.

You stare at your phone, confused. But he always does this sort of thing--staring conversations with random, dramatic sentences like this. He lives for the dramatic.

Feel what? Minghao types.

Seungkwan sends back an annoyed emoji. The air of the room.

What is he talking about? Shaking your head, you text, what about it?

You hear him groan from the over side of the room and almost laugh.

The typing bubble pops up immediately. The tension!!!!!!!! he sends.

You blink, still confused. No one texts anything else for a moment, even though you and Minghao both have read it.

Minghao finally sends in an annoyed emoji, too. What are you even talking about?

Yeah, you’re being weird, you add.

Seungkwan spams the chat with literally all the annoyed emojis on his keyboard. You roll your eyes.

When he stops, he sends a message in all caps. THE TENSION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU! And then, Seungkwan leaves the chat.

Minghao sends a confused emoji. You don’t say anything back, just turn off your screen. Oh boy.

“Yeah, cause we're competing,” you say out loud, making sure no footsteps are nearing.

“That’s right,” Minghao says.

Before anyone else can speak, you hear a group of customers and the three of you go quiet, waiting.

As soon as they’re gone, Seungkwan sighs. “Fine, yeah.” He pauses, and you look down at your phone. Seven minutes until closing.

“But,” he pipes up again, “that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Minghao sounds like he’s standing up. “Then what are you trying to say?” he asks, his voice strangely tight. Maybe his throat hurts too.

“You guys were... friendly... before our manager announced the news that day,” he says slowly. “Some might say very friendly.”

“I wouldn’t,” Minghao butts in.

“Yeah, not really.” You add, agreeing. You have no idea where this is going, but knowing Seungkwan... it worries you.

“Fine, would you rather me say close? Flirty? Romantically interested? That the tension between you is sparks flying?” His voice gets louder and louder as he goes.

That, right there, shows that your gut is always right about Seungkwan. You love him but sometimes...he’s too much. You bite your lip, trying to ignore how his words affect you. You can’t believe someone else--especially the wrong person--noticed what you’d been doing. Because you had to admit that you actually had been flirting back then.

“Shut up,” Minghao says. You can’t judge his emotions from just his voice so you have no idea how he feels. But his words...you are glad to be hidden from view right now. Otherwise he may see the truth.

“Why? Because you know it’s true?” Seungkwan demands. “I’m close with you two and I’m not going to let--” he is forced to stop because Minghao shushes him.

“No! Customer,” he hisses.

You wonder why you, the closest to the door, didn’t hear him earlier, because it sounds like a youtuber who’s vlogging a mile a minute. “And this is the first room... here we go, guys. Oh, it’s dark.”

You wait until he’s right beside the tree before leaping out and screaming. You scare him so bad he almost drops his camera--which you would have felt awful about. But he laughs. “Oh my gosh, guys, did you just see that? Only the first scare and I almost smashed my lens.”

You settle back into the tree and are happy to say that he screams much quieter for Minghao. You shake your head, looking down at your hands. Sometimes you’d thought Minghao had flirted too, back then, but you’d never really been able to tell. You normally were a bit too shy to flirt first, but around him, you’d always felt comfortable. Or, at least, the good kind of shy.

You sigh. Obviously it’s different now. The competition ended everything. If you had the chance to go back and fix it... but I don’t.

You look down at your phone. Three minutes. The youtuber will be the last customer of the night.

Seungkwan realizes this too, and he steps out and into the main part of the room. “Alright, guys, I’m going to go talk to management about which one of you won.”

“Wait--you’re not going to tell us first?” You ask, stepping out of the tree.

He shakes his head, grinning. “Nope. And technically you’re required to stay here for--” he paused and looks down at his phone--two more minutes and thirty-five seconds. So, I’ll head out so you two can... talk. Or whatever.”

“Boo Seungkwan, what do you mean by ‘whatever’?” You call after him. He turns around, winks...and then starts running.

“You better run!” You yell.

You stand there, listening to the recorded spooky animal sounds you’ve grown to hate, and try to hold what’s left of your pride together. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been this embarrassed. But you do know that the last time was definitely because of Seungkwan, too. You sigh. Minghao seems--wait, where is he? You turn, about to see if he’s still inside the carriage, but he’s right behind you. Like earlier.

You take a step away. “What are you doing?”

He shrugs, pausing for a second. But then he steps closer and clears his throat. “We probably should talk.”

“There’s no need,” you say. “One of us will get the spot. One of us won’t. We won’t see each other again. Like I said, no need. And it’s not like he’s right about what he said--I mean, he’s wrong all the time, so why not now? That’s... yeah. That’s what I think.” You’re babbling now. Is he even going to believe this? I wouldn’t. But that could be because I know it’s not true.

“It’s strange we’re both so close with Seungkwan but the two of us never met before the training,” Minghao says suddenly. “He’s steered me wrong a lot before, too, honestly.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, not sure how to respond.

“But... he’s good at reading emotions. Reading a crowd. A vibe. Whatever. And... I dunno. I just wanted to talk. Because of that. Maybe there’s some truth behind it.”

You cross your arms over your chest, turning to face him. “Well, you know, I’m pretty good at it too and I never... never felt anything 100% like what he was saying... from you.” You look up, into his eyes, which are strangely intense--and not just because of the makeup. He actually looks quite scary now.

“Then I guess you’re not that good,” he says, speaking quickly, but keeping the same facial expression. “Because even tonight, I was. Doing that. About the luck thing.”

You shake your head, trying to keep your cool under his gaze. Is he saying...? “Huh?”

He sighs, and looks away. You feel like you can take a breath again, with his eyes on something else for a moment. Just as suddenly, he looks back at you. “What I said, about you looking good. Pretty. I meant it.”

Somewhere in the back of your head says that the two minutes and whatever-seconds is up but... you’re not in a rush.

“Oh,” you say, in a small voice, because words have escaped you.

“Yeah,” he repeats, because words have escaped him, too.

It is quiet. The animal sounds have shut off. You suddenly miss them, in the silence. “Well, then...I guess it’s time,” you say.

“I guess so,” he echoes.

You both turn away, and start towards the door..

“I meant it too,” you suddenly blurt out. “What I said about you. Obviously. The compliment, I mean.” Oh no. Oh no. You panic and keep talking. “But... I don’t think you’re right for this. I’m not saying that as competition anymore, I just... You’re supposed to look creepy and scary, right? But your outfit looks... kingly. And you were just meant to be some haunted duke or whatever. Not even a king. But you look so fancy. And you just slapped some smudgy makeup on and messed up your hair and hoped that was enough. It’s not, though, so... yeah. But regardless of whether it’s scary or not, like I said earlier, I still think you look...” you stop then. You don’t know if you can finish.

“I look...?” Minghao is staring at you now.

And it’s still making you nervous. And when you’re nervous, you talk. Like you just finished doing. “What I said earlier,” you mumble.

Minghao furrows his brows. “And what did you say earlier?”

You turn away from him, for real starting for the door. “Good. You look good.”

He matches your pace with his long legs, and gently grabs your shoulder. “I know what you said. I remembered.” He grins, his voice quiet. “I just... wanted to hear you say it.”

You shake your shoulder out of his grip. “How rude,” you say, narrowing your eyes. But you stay beside him. And crack a smile, too.

“I know,” he says. “But... I wanted to be sure.”

"Sure?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t know how you thought of me. We were rivals, you know.”

You laugh. “True.” You shake your head. “So Seungkwan... was right.”

“For once! Just kidding, he’s right about a lot. Yeah, he... he was right. I definitely was flirting the first day we met. At training.”

You start to bite your lip, but then you just let yourself smile. “I see.”

He elbows you. “Hey, don’t say you weren’t, back.”

You two are at the main entrance now. “I was,” you admit.

“I thought so. Even then. That’s why I sat next to you the next day.”

You smile again. “I remember. I was looking forward to working with you, then.”

Minghao nods, smiling back. “Me too, honestly. But... I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”

You start to ask, why not? But then you remember. “Oh, yeah, that’s... true.”

Out of nowhere, Seungkwan appears, acting totally normal again. “Hey, ready, guys?” He asks. “Minghao, you’ll be second. Ladies first.” He brings you over to the manager, who smiles when she sees you.

“Congrats, girl! You got it! Seungkwan told me you were the winner. We’re glad to have you.”

You smile, shaking her hand, and after she gives you a few papers you need to fill out for your next shift, you’re out in less than five minutes. Minghao is waved over, and you decide to wait by the exit for him. What will he do? The haunted house pays pretty well... you wonder what he’ll say when he gets out. What you’ll say.

And then, he materializes besides you, a strange expression on his face. Before you can say anything, he immediately says, “Well, first, congratulations to you. But it’s not bad news for me: I guess they thought I looked good too, because they said they had a spot open for costume department.”

You make a face when he quotes you, but then the rest sinks in. “Wait, what? We just grab our clothes from the racks, though,” you say, confused. “We don’t have a costume department. I guess that explains why your costume was so off from your role...”

“I’ll choose to ignore that last thing, because now, we do! They said they want more of a cohesive look for everyone.” He smiles. “Like us, for example. We look totally different than everyone else. Just look.” He points at Seungkwan, and the manager. As they should, they look...scary. Goop and fake blood are smeared on their faces and clothes. You look down at yourself... and realize that you are only minimally smeared compared to everyone else. And Minghao isn’t at all.

“Oh,” you say, and you both break into laughter.

“I guess we will get to work together, then,” he says, looking into your eyes. But this time, you aren’t nervous, because they’re warm. Happy.

“I’m glad,” you say, because you genuinely are.

“Me too.” He’s still looking at you, and it makes your cheeks heat up. You notice that his are pink, too, and your heart beats fast like it did when he scared you earlier. “Here, let me walk you to your car.”

You nod, and he opens the door for you, and you walk side by side into the darkness. Unbeknownst to you, Seungkwan is standing at the door, watching. “See? I know stuff,” he whispers, smiling almost as big as the two of you.

#caratober #seventeen #the8 #minghao #minghao fluff #the8 fluff #seventeen fluff #svt fluff #svt fanfic #seventeen fanfic #xu minghao #happypledis

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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i am having PROBLEMS!!!

this morning i did ok, but as the day went on i have been getting more and more restless and agitated. i seem to have endeared myself to some of the staff but i really, really don’t feel prepared for this test. i know only two of us have studied for it but... suzanne told me that about half of the students pass the test on the first try. i joked about getting “a zero or something embarrassing like that” to the staff member that came and visited with us studying in the office and he laughed, but it wasn’t really a joke...

i left a little late but i did ride the bus to the department. i got there at 10 and made myself comfortable in the lounge for a little bit before suzanne and her little brother alex showed up. alex is super into recycling and waste management. i friended him on facebook and he types like a maniac though. he’s my age but he’s not a major so he just hung out for a little bit while suzanne filled out some notes for his doctor for him i guess.

snoopy has started headbutting me in the hair whenever i bend over to pick stuff up. maybe she can tell how stressed i am and wants to reassure me. i don’t know. i’m glad she feels more comfortable around me at least. she let me brush her chest a little bit today. she didn’t eat as much though.

i also got my meds refilled. that wasn’t too hard except getting to the health center through the construction was hellish. i studied with suzanne and jennica and ioannis and soham and taylor for most of the day. i didn’t see keegan. i am listing all the physics grads i know here so i can try to start remembering everyone.

it was exhausting. i liked the lunch i packed and ate most of it... but i guess the difficulty of the material on top of the long hours on top of the stress draining my energy just wiped me out and i felt braindead by 4:30 so i went home. the bus took a half hour to get to the station which was obnoxious, and the bus schedule app doesn’t say which stops go in which direction or which routes go to which stops. just which routes arrive at any particular stop. so i had to memorize the four day routes that go past my apartment complex and the three night routes. that was tiring too.

when i got home i unpacked and got settled in and then made myself a big mac and cheese dinner with some fruit and green machine juice. i also hard boiled some eggs for breakfast- never done that before! it didn’t turn out the best, but i think i might know what to do instead next time. so i will try again tomorrow. i didn’t get sick from the velveeta goop cheese so i’m hoping that means i can handle milk products in general in the future.

but i was so scatterbrained after dinner that i didn’t get any more studying done. i just couldn’t. i barely remember what i did all evening. i want to sleep for a million years and never take the test.

it’s hard to take a 12-hour test BEFORE classes start and expect to get anything more than 10%. i was hoping i could work on my test anxiety a little bit beforehand i guess. or get some kind of pep talk? but all the encouragement and “oh i didn’t either”s i’ve gotten from the people around me haven’t helped at all.

i found out today that i also got a scholarship for 3,000 dollars a year for three years. now that i know the school invested in me (which was apparently kind of risky if i go by what i saw of the graduate adviser yesterday) and then put in extra resources ON TOP of that i feel like i’m going to let everyone down before the semester even begins.

if i don’t do well on this test... that will be a really bad sign for the future, and it will also mean that i have a ton of work to do if i want to catch up and then, worse, keep up.

man. i haven’t even considered that i might do *well* on the test. it wasn’t worth the resources to consider. the chances are basically “not going to happen” anyway. i can’t do well on tests. i don’t do well on tests. short tests, long tests, marathon tests. quizzes. the only thing i contribute to group projects is a lot of questions that i have to rely on my teammate to answer, and then i can’t answer any of their questions.

i want so badly to do well. i keep telling myself that. but thinking about it, it seems so likely that i’m going to worry everyone right out of the gate that it feels like i don’t even want to do well any more. and that’s really bothersome. i don’t like that. i want to want to succeed.

i want to talk to someone about how i’m feeling, but my old friends aren’t really available and my new friends i haven’t put enough time into to really trust them at all yet. and i think if i sat them down and told them how seriously, non-jokingly horrible i feel about the test coming up in 11 hours then i’ll really intimidate them.

when i interact with these new guys i feel like i’m watching myself say words at them. i can understand the words they say back fine, and i am trying to get to know them. but every time i open my big dumb loud mouth and talk about my goddang feelings i feel like i’m hogging the spotlight. like maybe if i cram in just one more snappy comment they’ll like me more. but the whole time i’m also sitting there in the back of my mind thinking, is this really happening? is it me saying those words? why am i saying them? what will these other people get out of it?

i wish i had more time, but i know that if i had more time i would spend it all doing nothing anyway.

i don’t understand why the negative self talk comes back in full force so quickly every time i go a few days without seeing a therapist. am i just not working hard enough?

maybe i’ve forgotten how to practice. practice anything. i sit and look at stuff and i think and think about it but i don’t do any of the things i think about doing. and i’m an active learner. i know this. i know that if i go out and do stuff a lot i’ll get better at the stuff i do. but i’m so tired, and i just want to die, and if i do nothing for long enough maybe no one will miss me when i do die.

i guess that’s the root of it, huh. being invested in my life is hard, and unpleasant, and i know the world will go on without me. there’s no actual requirement, and if there was, i probably still wouldn’t do it even then. all those connections got chopped off over the years. all the tethers to real life vs the life in my head where i am still enthusiastic about stuff but i never participate in any of it outside of my imagination. at this point i may as well just literally be a brain in a jar with a nonstop receipt style printout of nonsense words.

i keep recognizing the problem in new ways but i still haven’t done anything about it. or maybe i do things about it and then stop and forget about it until i rediscover the problem, and hope that using this NEW metaphor will finally get me moving!!! if all the pieces fall into place, then the effort just happens, right? if i can move the information around enough then new things will happen, right? i don’t have to do anything for things to happen, right???

no willpower at all. i used to be so stubborn. now i’m just stubbornly nothing.

it’s... hard, to exert my will in life. it’s hard because i know that saying “no” doesn’t actually mean anything. people won’t stop if THEY don’t want to, because what they want is more important to them than what i want and there’s no way i can actually stop them from doing what i told them not to do. crying, making a fuss, fighting back, calling for help, none of it actually does anything. people won’t help if they don’t want to help. you just sit there in the dark screaming forever and no one comes because there is no one TO come.

i hate that that also applies to me.

i screamed a lot in my nightmares as a kid but i’m a silent sleeper i guess. people don’t wake me up from nightmares. i don’t really call for help even in my dreams any more.

how do you not kill yourself after living like that? after learning that about the world? your own parents don’t stop hurting you because they don’t feel like stopping? your best “friend” won’t stop hurting you because he doesn’t feel like it? your friends won’t help you or even believe you even when it happens right in front of them because they don’t feel like it?

i guess the only reason i haven’t killed myself at this point is because that would require actually doing something. there’s a certain unreality to the idea, like “i can’t actually do that, it wouldn’t happen that way” when i think about it, the same feeling i get when i think about anything. graduating. HAVING LITERALLY GRADUATED ALREADY, WITH A DEGREE. working a real job. meeting people and caring about them. making meals, which i do every day despite being surprised at finding myself in the kitchen every time.

sleeping.

hmm. this might be more urgent than i thought it was. maybe i should call the counseling center during my lunch break tomorrow (between the two sections of test) and see if i can get a quick appointment. not sure when i’d go in this week because of the test, but i only have three hours of class a day this semester. next week could be fine.

making phone calls is weird too but i guess at this point i’m completely uninvested in what’s happening so it’s easier than it used to be.

ok. pep talk. even if i do get a 0 on the test, i am already enrolled. it would be weird to kick me out, even if i will get a lot of worried looks. if i put in the work, and use my resources, and put myself in a position to succeed, all i gotta do is work hard to succeed. so all i gotta do here, besides *actually practice my field,* is learn how to be invested again. i’ve been invested before. maybe it’s like learning to walk again.

in my experience, doing more things than i have energy for, but not so many things that i get burnt out, actually gives me more energy. kind of like working out. if i push myself (but not break myself), and keep myself healthy, then maybe i can learn how to throw myself at a problem in a way that will actually solve it.

is that an ok pep talk? i wanted to try to end on a positive note. finding bad thoughts and replacing them with more realistic ideas is how you train your brain to think in a less self-destructive way. and it’s easier to sleep when i’m pumped up than it is when i want to cry.

#tw suicide #no really #ill try to be ok though

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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i just made myself sick from holding in laughter. good times. ninja sex party always gets me right here.

ok so after ping’s delightful impromptu 5-am door-slamming and yodeling concert i barely got any sleep and i had the kind of dreams i get when i nap for too long. which is to say, terrifying and horrible in every way.

at the end i was... on a coaster i end up at sometimes. usually it’s a gentle enough ride that my gramma rides it for some reason, even though it tends to dump you out in a field of tall dead grass and you have to hike back to a wooden structure. when you try to climb the structure the people on the platforms try to push you back down by kicking you in the face.

but this time the coaster was super off. i didn’t like it. and the tracks were made of like, sinew. it was still pink and bloody. then the tracks just ended and i crashed straight into the ground with my face. i got mad but i wasn’t hurt too bad. that happened next!!! the operator appeared. for some reason i got really strange and really strong deja vu. then everyone started melting. i watched the girl next to me explode into goop. then my arm fell off. then the rest. i screamed.

i ended up getting up late again... but still 20 minutes earlier than yesterday. despite going to bed an hour earlier. cool!!!!!

i got over to campus on time though. josie and i waited for our classmates to get out of class, but then nobody came to the “lounge,” so we just went to eat tacos by ourselves. it was cinco de mayo so they had margarita deals. we didn’t drink alcohol though. i paid for josie’s meal because she was broke. i had a good time. we talked about The Gay and depression and stuff.

then i hung out in the department for another two-ish hours. i wanted to talk to dr. cole, but he was teaching and then left. and there was an alum who wanted to talk to him so i let him go instead. and i talked to michael, who is doing well. he replaced me as the si for the intro physics course. these past few months would have been a lot more guilt-ridden and miserable if he hadn’t stepped in for me. i am impressed and grateful that he took on so much work.

i gave bradley the rest of my burrito (since i only managed half as usual) and went to sort out my tuition refund. the guy gave me paperwork and answered a bunch of questions. i’m gonna have to get doctors’ notes so i will start with my physician when i see her sometime next week. he said i got until 2018 to complete and turn it in so it is less stressful now.

then i went home because no one was in the lounge and i was tired. i watched adventure time for a while. i assume the next series of steven universe episodes got leaked because my youtube suggestions were FILLED WITH SPOILERS. EVERYWHERE!!! i had to mark all of them as “not interested” so hopefully youtube’s algorithm would get the hint. at least it stopped recommending family guy finally.

and i made my veggie bacon for dinner. i didn’t figure out how to cook it in a way that didn’t turn it to charcoal until the last few pieces but that was ok. it made me kind of ill. i watched some pokemon videos until maranda got back. that’s why i wasn’t laughing out loud.

i keep looking at adventure time clips trying to find one that could get asher interested in the show. but i know that won’t happen and i shouldn’t try to have everything in common with one friend. i just really want someone to talk to about it that i already know because talking to random strangers about tv shows i like is stressful. it’s harder to get a read on their interest. and starting a new network of friends based around one common interest is difficult and time consuming for me, with no guaranteed payoff. at least with people i used to hang out with because of one shared interest i already know now so like, it’s not like getting to know an entire new group. and meeting friends of friends, at least i got some kind of lifeline, so it’s a little less awkward to introduce myself. it’s not out of the blue “let’s launch into a detailed analysis of this tv show, whoever you are!”

when i tried to join the homestuck fandom as a regular poster, my dog died like a week later, and i was too depressed to strengthen those relationships and they disintegrated extremely quickly. i think that was about when i withdrew from fandoms altogether.

i guess... if asher or one of my other friends was super into adventure time, at least as much as i am, it wouldn’t feel like i’m wasting their time when i start talking about it because i can’t hold my thoughts in my head any more. they fall out and it doesn’t matter who’s around. i was telling my mom’s friend about it one summer because i was spending a lot of time around the office she worked at.

i don’t like having that little control over what i talk about. like while i was so excited about one thing, it didn’t matter that it wasn’t relevant to the person i was talking to. what happens if i feel like that around my parents? is that why i got dad to watch the show in the first place? i know he likes it NOW, and i thought he would like it, but...

did i expect to be able to talk about it with him? the one time i tried to bring up some theme analysis to him he said he doesn’t look that much into it so i stopped and just made references to the jokes sometimes instead. he seems to like that better. the last episode we watched was “you forgot your floaties” which is really plot heavy and dad actually got bored. and commented that it wasn’t very funny. i haven’t shown him another episode since, even though season 7 gets really good again and season 8 has been actually my favorite so far i think. season 6 is the low point for the show and we got right to the end of it and i stopped asking to watch it... and he never ever brings it up himself. i guess it would be easier to get a handle on his enthusiasm if he asked to watch it even like once a month. but these last few months i’ve been so unhappy with him that i just don’t want to sit and enjoy something we both like with him any more. and at the times i would usually ask he’s busy screaming at league now so i don’t feel comfortable even being in the room. because he likes to swear and punch his desk before he looks at me if i say hi or need to ask a question while he’s playing.

i don’t know... i liked having that thing in common with dad. the only cartoons he liked before that were, like, transformers and family guy. and old voltron i guess, he talked about it once when he heard about the remake. and he buys me jake shirts sometimes. but now i don’t like having it in common with him i guess? i have made no effort to be on better terms with him since he told me i needed to get a job before i was even feeling any better back in february. mostly because it was redundant and all it actually told me was that he thought i was being a bum when i literally couldn’t eat solids.

he and mom are always on about, “if you’re sick, you shouldn’t do anything you enjoy or else you’re faking being sick. when you’re sick all you’re allowed to do is rest and do nothing.” except when you’re not allowed to rest any more (regardless of whether or not you are still sick).

i guess. feeling entitled to positive encouragement is a flaw of mine. my parents are the “if you’re doing your job then no one needs to comment. if you’re not doing your job you should get fired” types. and also “if you have one luxury item/are not devoting all hours of every day to improving your situation (regardless of whether or not the situation is actually improving) you are not really in need of help.”

but there’s... a difference between being entitled to the “everyone gets a trophy” idea and being positivity-starved. even big achievements, like placing well in the statewide math competition in grade school or getting all a’s, are brushed aside as “you did the job you were supposed to so it should be invisible and smooth.” i started doing competitions without any aids or tools that we were allowed to use because anything other than just you and your brain was “cheap.” i placed very badly in those competitions. then i lost my confidence and my grades also dropped.

if i got a single b it would be time for a serious discussion and grounding from any socialization until my grade improved. so there was only fear motivating me.

i mean, it’s not technically “necessary” to motivate with the guaranteed reward/punishment. it’s just, my reward was usually “you are allowed to talk to your friends” or “here is dinner. you have to eat it all or else you will sit here for hours until the plate is clean.” and sometimes my parents would prepare a “surprise reward” for me and then take it away upon getting home and finding out i had messed up in some way, when i didn’t know they were even planning on ever getting the thing i had asked for. they would do that with car trips too. pack me and my sister in the car whether or not we wanted to go anywhere and not tell us where we were going. and then when i got frustrated they would take away the “surprise reward.”

i mean yeah, one time i messed up really bad watching my brother 10 years ago because he said some really hurtful things and i refused to interact with him while my parents were out one day. then he did a bunch of dangerous stuff while i wasn’t looking because i was busy crying.

hnngnngnghhhhg. i was trying to explore why i don’t feel close to dad any more and why feeling close to him in the first place was a mistake. i only ever felt nostalgia before i went to high school. the moment i realized my life sucked, and had always sucked, i never wished for “simpler times” or “the good old days.”

come to think of it, i don’t feel close to a lot of people any more, and i should not have been close with them in the first place in all honesty. i didn’t have a lot of options. i have slightly more options now, provided i got the energy to spare. i got lucky with this physics department. i only actively disliked, like, two of my classmates. one of them was a creepazoid and the other one is kind of unfair to her. she ain’t done nothing to me. i just think she’s a little obnoxious. which is pretty rich, coming from me!!!

ok i am tired. and maranda has gone to bed, which means that if i stay up too much longer she will come out and yell at me for having the kitchen light on.

the same maranda that kept me up every night for the last 5 semesters watching the office/parks and rec/psyche over and over and over. when she finished a show, she’d go back to the beginning and start over. when i hear dad watching the office i get subconsciously annoyed and it takes me a minute to figure out why.

i mean, i could have kept asking her to turn the volume down. but when you get a sharp “no” the first time it gets really intimidating. and i couldn’t close the door because ping would just open it.

mom and maranda’s mom are coming up at 10 tomorrow. my aunt will also show up at some point to put my furniture in her pickup truck to get it down to phoenix for us. and the department picnic is at noon. mom wants me to stay at the hotel with her and dawn. i don’t really want to, it’ll be harder to stay up obnoxiously late, but the alternative is to sleep here on the floor. which is even more miserable than trying to sleep in the bed thanks to ping’s concerts the moment he gets bored of everyone around him sleeping.

i did everything i needed to do today. tomorrow i just gotta be present. i hope i can manage that. if i lose out on sleep again tonight i might die though.

i am putting off going to bed... i am out of things to talk about but i want to keep typing. i have been super restless the last few nights. i can’t figure out why. i have been getting, not enough exercise necessarily, but more than usual, and enough that i am tired by the time i get back to my apartment. and the lack of sleep makes me not want to move at all. my brain is wiped. but my legs keep saying “YEAH LET’S GO LET’S DO IT COME ON LET’S GO!!!”

anyway, i’m gonna get ready for bed before maranda yells at me. i will try to think about what is bothering me so much tonight that i don’t want to sleep. if i find out i will try to remember to share it.

the mold, by the way, is a non-issue. it causes respiratory problems and exacerbates already-existing conditions like migraines. those are not the symptoms i am currently experiencing.

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