#pickmyselfbackup | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emotionsmakeusstrong-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Here Again

I have written about my struggles with self esteem a few times now. Here I am again because it’s not easy. I fell again. There has been quite a bit of old energy and trauma surfacing for me again which takes the biggest toll on my self esteem. It is the root of it all. We all have those moments from our childhood and then onward. The moments that hurt us, that stuck with us. The first moments of self doubt. I would love to go back and tell that little girl she’s enough. To teach her she can be that voice for herself. She is beautiful, smart, funny, everything she believes she can be. We are all everything we believe we can be. It is so easy to fall into that hole of self doubt. I would teach that little girl how to love herself in every moment. I would teach her to follow her gut. To see all the beauty in everyone around her. To think for herself and fuck what society tries to teach her. In this she will find her true self.

Facing all of this as a woman is hard. 34 years of pain, self doubt, judgements, heartbreak. It is really easy to get lost in that. I find myself getting trapped in those feelings, then feeling guilty for being trapped by them, and then feeling fear about that. It is a scary cycle to fall into.

So. Here I am again. Ready to tell the woman I am now, that it’s ok. It’s ok that I fell into that trap again. It’s ok I felt bad. But…. here I am again picking myself up. Reminding myself of the growth I have done. The emotions I have faced. The trauma I have faced. The heartbreak. They may bring me down sometimes, but I got this. I will pick myself back up. It will get easier each time. I wish I could tell that little girl how amazing she really is, but now I need to focus on telling the woman I have become. The woman I am now can pick up those pieces and put them back together. I can learn to love myself in the light, and in the dark. To remind myself that I will be ok. I can let go of some of that fear. I can make room for love. I can face whatever life brings me.

I feel lucky. I have a 6 year old daughter who I can help with these same struggles. I can show her a community and world that is so much more than all of the society traps. I can teach her how important the way we talk about ourselves is. I can teach her that she can do anything she puts her mind to if she just keeps trying. That it’s ok to fall down. It’s ok to fail. It’s an important part of life. I can teach her at a young age to love herself in those moments. I can also teach her how important it is to have supportive people around her. We are supposed to have community around us. We are not meant to face everything on our own.

No one can do our personal work for us. Only we have that power within us. That does not mean we are supposed to face it on our own. We need to support each other. Show each other love in these moments. Cherish your community. Our connections in life, no matter the length. We are all here, in this, for a reason.

As always….. Love. Love is the key.

#hereagain #struggle #emotions #selflove #pickmyselfbackup #brandnewday #intuition #community #connection

3 notes · View notes