#platonic heejin x reader | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nam-nam-joon · 4 years

Text

by the sea

Pairing: jeon heejin/reader; kim seokjin/reader

Genre: inspired by this post by @kurara-black-blog ; selkie! AU

Wordcount: 6.7k

Warnings: someone opens a door in only underwear (partial nudity); implied consumption of alcohol (this does start in a bar)

Summary: the night is dark and the tiny town by the sea storm-swept when you make your way into the local bar; to meet Heejin and catch up. who could've guessed a chance encounter could extend your horizon far beyond what you thought was normal - real?

Thunder clapped overhead as you shut the pub’s door behind you.

It wasn’t the first summer storm that raged high above the little town by the sea, but it was among the more vicious ones, and you were glad to even have found the bar in this downpour.

The coat rack by the door was overflowing with oilgear in all shades of black, grey and yellow; depending on the age of the garment. In the dim orange light they mostly looked the same anyways.

Not wanting to lug the drenched coat around with yourself you dove between the jackets, arm outstretched to feel if there was a hook under the mountain of cloth that could still hold one more – your knuckles brushed surfaces both smooth and rough, canvas and wax, and then, fur.

It was very soft but came so unexpected you froze, until you remembered someone probably left their heirloom mink or something. The hook next to it wasn’t blocked yet, and with great difficulty, you managed to wedge the loop of your coat over it. The fur brushed your hand again, and then the previously unseen garment landed in a soft heap in front of the worn Blundstone’s on your feet.

It wasn’t mink, as you’d thought, and it didn’t look like your run of the mill fur coat either. It was a vest with applications of some sort; The fur only on the inside for insulating purposes, probably. What it was doing here in the middle of summer was beyond you; you hadn’t seen anyone wear anything heavy like this the days you’d spent here over the summer. The chance to dwell on the matter longer was taken from you when-

“Hi.”

You turned, vest still in hands. You couldn’t make out much of the stranger, but he was very tall and had wet eyes.

“Hi!” You spoke back, over the backdrop of the noisy bar. “Sorry – Is this yours?” You held the vest up. A glass smashed and cheers erupted somewhere deeper into the room, and the stranger twitched, shoulders sagging down.

“Um, ye-“

“I’m so sorry I dropped it!” You had to shout now, as claps and more cheers arose. “I hope it’s not dirty!”

And you brushed it off half-heartedly and held it out to the other.

Around the stranger’s side you could spot Heejin close enough to the bar that the many many candles burning on it illuminated her face.

“Alright, sorry, got to go. Sorry about dropping it, again!” You patted the stranger’s lower arm, smiled up at the wide eyes and made a beeline for the small table Heejin was sitting at.

“Heyy!” She greeted you, lifting her bottle and looking visibly relieved. “Thought you’d drowned in the storm! What took you so long?”

“Haha!” You huffed, not really angry. “The streets are swimming, I had to make sure I didn’t accidentally walk off a cliff!” That seemed to settle her, and she took a swig of her drink.

The air inside the bar was warm and filled with noise by the people inside it – likely most of the tiny town’s residents. It would’ve been stuffy, too, if it weren’t for the windows that were all propped open the smallest bit to let the breeze smelling like sweet rain and salty sea be blown in.

“What’s with the candles?”

Heejin leaned in close to hear you before nodding.

“Power went out. They really need to fix the lines and the generator, this is the second time it’s happening during storm. The salt gets to the lines, you know.”

You nodded and caught the eye of the bartender. She nodded and, pleased with your work, you settled back into the crummy chair.

Around three the storm calmed down, and it was around that time you and Heejin decided to head home, too. Leaving before the barkeeper kicked you out was always a good thing and meant you knew your limits which automatically put you on the good list of any respectable bartender, and besides, it wasn’t like Heejin and you didn’t have something to go home to.

Dawn was far beyond the horizon, especially with those thick clouds still covering the sky. Not even gulls were awake yet as you and Heejin walked with your arms around the other’s back, breathing in the fresh scent of the town scrubbed clean.

“You should come by more often.” She sighed, putting her head on your shoulder. You smiled.

“I would, but I do have a degree to finish and some kind of job that’s waiting for me out in the world. But I promise I’ll always come back to you.”

She huffed, seemingly not entirely satisfied.

“Hey, I’m spending every second weekend of summer here, do you know how many hours that are on public transport? Not to speak of-“

“Alright, alright!” She laughed, touching her free hand to your shoulder, grinning. “I rest my case, don’t worry. It’d just be nice to have you around more. Even more.”

You shook your head and fished out the key from the bottom of your shorts’ pocket as you approached the salt and sun bleached wooden gate leading into the weathered garden surrounding Heejin’s house.

It was small, had been Heejin’s Grandmother’s before the old woman had passed away unexpectedly years ago. Unsure of her future in the city, with her family placing the weight of responsibility for the business on her older brother’s shoulders, Heejin had leapt at the chance to escape it all and settle for slow life on the border of the ocean.

You’d asked her, during one of your many visits, lounging on a sundeck chair in the garden that couldn’t have won many prizes for its beauty if it’d tried. You’d asked her, if she regretted it – dropping out of Uni, coming here.

Putting a screeching halt on the modern life of decadence and decent luxury she’d had in the city.

“It’s scary, a bit.” Heejin had said, swirling the virgin tequila sunrise in her glass – an old mason jar. “Everything’s so different, you know? But I like it. I feel like I can do good here.”

And that had been enough for her, and by extension, for you.

What had been her Grandmother’s study slash miniscule library had turned into a sort-of guest room with a bed and some other necessities. It couldn’t really be called a guest room, as it was only you who ever slept there, and you and Heejin had a queerplatonic relationship going on and to call yourself a ‘guest’ under those circumstances didn’t fit very well.

“Where’d you leave my toothbrush!” She yelled from the bath while you were still busy hanging her and your own coat properly so all the dampness would be gone in the morning.

“I don’t know, I didn’t touch it!” You shouted back, hopping on one foot after pulling your shoes off with your feet and almost losing your balance. The underside of your sock stuck to your sole after you stepped in a puddle of water and you caught yourself on the door frame to the bath, face showing the sheer disgust you were experiencing right now as you briefly caught your reflection in the mirror.

Heejin, having found her toothbrush and already scrubbing away, couldn’t contain a laugh at your misery and sprayed your face and shirt with a fine mist of white bubbles.

“Thanks.” You deadpanned, sidling up to her and wiping at the spots visible in the mirror.

“Sorry.” She said around her brush. “What happened?”

“Stepped into... fucking water, is what happened.” Putting your own brush into your mouth, you sat back on the closed lid of the toilet and tugged at the wet sock until it came off and you could wriggle your toes in the air.

Heejin laughed again, and you could still hear her giggling as you laid down on the comfortable bed, surrounded by the smell of books and faintly, the sea.

“Shut up woman!” You shouted, grinning yourself. She cackled loudly but still wished you a good night, which you gladly returned.

The sun wasn’t out when you woke, but that might’ve been because of the clouds still hanging around. Or maybe Heejin had drawn the blinds yesterday and not told you; but either way, when she touched her hand to your shoulder and said she’d go see what the bakery had that’d make a good breakfast, you only hummed in agreement.

She pressed a loving kiss to your temple and you had made the effort of squeezing her hand, and then she’d left again.

You had half the mind of asking her if she had taken her keys but by the time the thought process had reached the point in your brain responsible for signalling your mouth to talk, the front door had shut and all attempts had been voided.

Whatever.

You really weren’t used to such long nights anymore, you thought to yourself, and sighed and rolled onto the other side, tugging the blanket around you a little tighter.

How great it was it was Saturday, and you didn’t have to be anywhere but here.

It felt like five minutes later, at most, when you were roused from sleep again.

You lifted your head.

The house was silent.

What?

Then came knocking on the front door, and not the gentle knuckles on wood kind most everyone did here, but the loud one from the old fashioned metal knocker, almost eaten by the rust.

Grumbling, you sat up.

Did Heejin think this was funny? Knocking this loudly? Did she really think you were sleeping so deeply!

Not bothering with any more than what you were already wearing – underwear – you haphazardly made your way down the crooked stairs, eyes not even fully open when you reached the door.

The knocking came again, loud, so loud, pounding in your ears that were filled with the sound of rushing blood and-

“Heejin I swear to the good lord, wh-“

Where Heejin’s head would have been was someone’s chest.

Blinking against the brilliant white of the even clouds, you lifted your eyes.

“Ha- Hello.” Soft cheeks and windswept hair, and dark eyes that looked at you far too intently for such an early hour. Was it? Still early?

He bit on his lips and had his shoulders squared, but only when you took note of the soft leather and the stitching on it did you make the connection.

“Oh! Oh, my god! The fur vest! It’s you! Hi.” A breeze curled into the small hallway, and the last of the bed’s warmth stripped from your skin. Shivering, you felt a bit indecent. Almost exposed, as it was – still the guy’s eyes did not waver or drop from your face, which was a stellar behaviour.

“Can I help you? Did I get dirt on your vest, I’m really sorry-“

He smiled, releasing his full lips for the first time, and softly shook his head, effectively shutting you up. He’d reached out with his hands, as if to gesticulate, but settled on clasping his wrists.

“No, it’s nothing like- Please, can I come in?”

“Uh- This is my friend’s house, so I don’t-“

“It really is urgent.”

Something about the way he talked seemed a bit off. You stared at the flat stone acting as the doorstep for a moment.

“I’m sorry, who were you again?”

His lips widened into a full smile – still somewhat shy, though. He puffed his chest a little.

“Kim Seokjin. If it helps, I’m friends with Heejin?”

It was like he tried to sound the most proper way he could, like he was putting special emphasis on pronouncing every syllable correctly.

You were too tired for any of this. Had Heejin ever mentioned him?

“Um... Sure, just- Here, head down through the door into the living room, I’ll grab... some clothes and- be there in a minute, alright?”

You opened the door wider to allow him in, and he leaned down to quickly hug and press a short kiss to your cheek before continuing to where you’d pointed him.

You stood stock-still, the door handle still in your palm, utterly confused.

What had happened?

Head still void of thoughts you took the stairs two steps at a time, dove into Heejin’s room, grabbed one of her spare blankets from where she kept them folded over the old box by her bed, and then hastened back down, silently wishing for her to come back soon.

Wrapped in the soft knitted sheet, you stopped to breathe deeply, and collect yourself a little. Everything would be fine. Of course it would.

“Would you like something to drink?”

Kim Seokjin turned away from the small shelve with Heejin’s favourite books and little keepsakes, looking a little like you’d caught him doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Your gaze zeroed in on the framed picture of you and Heejin, a candid a friend of yours had snapped of you sitting on campus. He tried to push it back in its place and you looked up into his eyes again.

“Wh-what,” He weakly asked, ears a fierce red.

“Would you... like tea? Coffee? A glass of water?”

“I’m, I’m fine thank you.”

You left the door, came towards the couch.

“Actually, just a glass of water would be lovely, if... you don’t... mind?”

His voice got quieter towards the end, but you managed a smile and soon returned with two glasses, a water carafe and a bottle of orange juice on a small tray.

“If you’re looking for Heejin, she’ll be back soon.” You lowered yourself on the couch, and Kim Seokjin did the same in the small armchair across. Folded into it, he looked even larger than in the pub yesterday night. He nodded, and then he shook his head, opened his mouth but didn’t bring any words out.

He downed almost half of his water, and then his fingers wouldn’t let go of the glass. After seeing his knuckles turn pale, you swallowed the juice in your mouth and decided to try again.

“So... What’re you here for, again?”

That seemed to sober him up. He leaned forward and put the glass on the table, and then sat at the edge of his seat, with his palms pressed between his knees.

“So, you see,” He began, his eyes flickering from here to there until they finally landed on you and stayed on you. It seemed like his body let out a huge sigh. “I figured-“ He reached into his pants’ pocket and produced something small he hid in his hand. “This is for you.” And held it out to you.

You didn’t move, staring between his hand and his face.

“What?”

He came around the couch table, nervously sitting closer to you, and you let him take one of your hands off the glass and put a small bag of rough fabric in your palm.

A small, shimmering pearl came tumbling out of the pouch. Understanding less and less, you furrowed your eyebrows at the visitor.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have a ring just yet- Everything went so fast and the shops aren’t open that early, so I figured- I mean, after all, it would only be proper for us to get married by human standards as well, so please accept this as my wedding gift, until I can give you the ring later.”

You stared into those big, brown eyes.

“I’m sorry, I think you’re confusing me with someone else.” You put the pearl back into its pouch and wound the string around the end to keep it securely inside, but when you tried to hand it back, he wouldn’t have it.

“No, no it’s yours, you can’t give it back! –That wouldn’t be proper.”

“Okay? Okay.” You put the satchel down next to your glass and rubbed your hands over your face. Heejin would be back any second, and she’d surely help you get this lunatic out. She’d be back any minute. “Okay, first of all... We’re not getting married, I have no idea who you are, and? What...”

He smiled, wider than seemed acceptable at the moment. Giggled, even.

“Oh, you don’t want the ceremony? That’s okay, more time for us, then. There’s so much I want to know about you, and you have to simply tell me everything! Le-“

“He-Hey hold on, wait, a minute? Ceremony? What? What are you talking about?”

“You gave me my pelt back, I figured you’d want the proper human ceremony, to make it official on your side, too.”

“You... are human too, you know that, right.”

This time he really laughed, once, dropping his head. When he looked up again his eyes sparkled with mirth.

“Oh, funny, you’re funny, I like that. We’ll do well together, I’m sure of it.”

“You-“ He’d inched closer on the couch, and you stood up to bring some distance between you. “We are not getting married, I have no idea who the hell you are, and please, leave now. I’m not even sure Heejin really knows you, she never mentioned you and as crazy as you sound, that’s a huge thing. So, please, if you could just-“

All humour dropped off his face, but it didn’t turn bitter or blank either.

“O-oh, you... You want me to leave you alone so soon, ah... Okay, well.”

He rose, and though he towered above you, looked very small. It appealed to a thin sliver of you, those heartfelt, sad eyes and the hunched over posture, but you fought it down, unwilling to cut this maniac some slack.

“Hurry up, would you?” You huffed as his steps towards the front door came almost in slow-motion.

By the coat rack he turned to look back over his shoulder, bottom lip sucked into his mouth again, the corners turned down.

You looked away as you noticed a tear roll over his cheek. What the hell was going on?

“I suppose...” He faltered in front of the jackets, running his palms over his vest and grabbing its edges. His voice had lost all of the cheery brightness from before, was now solemn and downtrodden. “I suppose you’ll want to keep this, then.”

And he began to shrug out of it, until you stepped closer, put a hand to his arm, looked up at him through bewilderment.

“Why would I want that? It’s your vest, why would I-?”

He froze mid-taking it off, sniffled and blinked and by now there were thin trails of wetness running down his cheeks, and his ears were still red and his nose began to colour too and even though you’d never really met him before yesterday he still looked so lost and sad that it tugged on your heart.

“Listen-“ You began, at the same time he was starting to say “You-“, and both of you were interrupted when the front door opened and Heejin stood there, panting, with a paper bag in her hand and a rolled up newspaper under her arm. Her hair curled a little and with the thrown open door the wind came blowing in, carrying a few drops of rain inside before she shut the opening. Obviously having run from the rain, she pushed her hair back, the elated smile on her face twisting into confusion as she took in the two of you.

“Seokjinnie, I didn’t know you wanted to stop by-”

Her eyes landed on your hand on his arm, her eyebrows lifted. The smile returned to her face. “Oh, you two know each other?! _______, why didn’t you say anything, ever, we could’ve-“

“They don’t.” Kim Seokjin said, his voice coated. The smile trickled off Heejin’s face again. A bit embarrassed you took your hand back, and he pulled his vest back on all the way. “Heejin, if you could-“

Her eyes left him for you, and you tried to convey just how helpless and confused you felt. Something settled on her face, and she nodded, but it hadn’t been directed at you.

“Do you want to stay?” She asked, directed at the tall male. He cleared his throat.

“I guess that’s easier.”

“Come on then, both of you. Time to sit down.”

She pushed between you and tugged you forward, with Kim Seokjin trailing after you.

Since the couch wasn’t that big that it could’ve comfortably housed all three of you, Heejin took one for the team and sat on the couch table between you, looking as serious as she could. It was a little unsettling.

“What’s going on.”

Kim Seokjin took a breath, got choked up, and broke off. Seeing him struggle and desperate to get this off your chest and Heejin on your side, you jumped at the opportunity to explain yourself.

“He showed up here this morning, saying stuff about a marriage and ceremonies and he kissed my cheek? I’ve never met him before but he said you were his friend? You never mentioned him? Or am I losing my marbles here? I mean I never met him before yesterday night, at the bar, but-“

“I was about to head home,” He said, voice laced with tears and his fingers interlocked in his lap. “I was about to go, and then they- My pelt fell off the rack, and they-“ He swallowed and looked at you, causing Heejin to turn her head, too. At the centre of attention, you focused on your own knuckles.

“And they gave me back my pelt. No questions asked. Just like that.” He whispered the last sentence, and you forcefully relaxed your feet. Wouldn’t bring anyone any good to get a cramp now.

Heejin sighed, but it didn’t sound condescending.

“I understand.” She stated. You looked back to her.

“You do?”

She nodded.

“Great! Then can you please explain him-“

“_______, Seokjin is a selkie. Do you know what that means?”

You blinked. “The... The Seal Spirits? But they’re...” Your gaze found his, and the words ‘not real’ died in your throat. You closed your mouth and swallowed.

The silver fur on his vest suddenly seemed a lot brighter than before.

“But...” You tried again, mind blanking at what to do next.

“To give a selkie their coat back means as good as marrying them, in their tradition. That’s why he came here this morning, to make it ‘official’ from your side, too. Did you accept his gift?”

“I didn’t-“

Seokjin nodded silently, pointed at the little pouch still next to your glass with juice.

“They don’t want me.” He said then, voice wobbling and tears collecting under his chin. “I w-waited so long and now-“

“Can you give us a minute? I’ll come see you upstairs, okay?”

Thoughts flurrying, all you could do was nod. “-Sure. Yeah, I’ll... I’ll wait, yeah. Okay.”

And you collected the blanket around you and left for the stairs.

Seokjin’s pressed sob was the last thing you heard before closing the door and climbing the stairs.

By the time Heejin softly knocked on your door you had freshened up, got dressed and combed your hair. She closed the door behind herself and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the wood.

“Can you please help me because I am... Extremely lost right now.” You confessed, sat on the wooden, revolving chair in front of the old, creaky bureau.

Heejin sighed again, and now she did sound tired.

“Yeah. You got yourself in quite the pickle this time, not going to lie...”

You stayed silent, hoping she might elaborate. After another intake of air, she did.

“So, dear Seokjinnie is a selkie, and you happened to give him back his coat, and without conditions, too, so yesterday, when you did, it was like... Like a dream come true for him. You gave him his pelt back without any demands, basically saying ‘I’ll take you as you are and we are one now’, and Jin, not knowing you had no idea, came to see how you would proceed, and now we’re here.”

“But I didn’t- If I’d known he’d think that I wouldn’t have given him his coat! I mean hand it to him. Gosh, what- And now? What now? Can’t he understand this was a mistake? A, a, an accident? –Does he think I own him now?” Panic seeped into your words, and Heejin was quick to shake her head and reach out her hands placatingly.

“No, no no, they have their traditions but they’re aware that people don’t-“ She sighed again. “No, I explained to him you had no idea what he was and what that action might cause, and he understands that, it’s just... He’s a huge romantic, you know? Has always spouted about how when he finds someone that’ll be it, he’ll be that person’s, faithful to one and only one, ever. And all the soulmate stuff and fated one and all that in the books didn’t do much good, with how Selkie’s treat their history and- Can you... Follow me? Where I’m going with this?”

“I think... Maybe? I think I can, yeah... Can’t I just- Break off this marriage? Or... engagement? Whatever that is between us?”

“Technically yes, as you already ‘gave him back’ his pelt and he is as such free to go, but... This is very complicated. If you’d be okay with it, we could go downstairs and sit in the living room and talk while Seokjin is there? He’ll know better answers to all of the specific questions, I promise.”

Still feeling a little light-headed, you nodded. Before Heejin could open the door, you held her back.

“How long have you known? That he’s selkie? That they... exist?”

She pulled back from the door, covered your hand.

“I came to know after my Grandma’s funeral. She was somewhat of a... A warden or, a keeper of peace between the merfolk and the town. A bit like a mediator, because there’s a lot of Selkie’s living amongst humans these days, and all that. Seokjin was among the small group that approached me, to ask if I knew anything of my Grandma’s heritage or if I’d follow her footsteps.”

“So that’s the whole ‘doing good here’ was about.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you more, I really am-“

You shook your head, squeezed her hands.

“No, don’t apologize. You kept their secret, that’s- That’s important. Don’t worry, okay?”

“Thank you for understanding.” She smiled at you, and you dared to smile back.

Kim Seokjin was a heap on the couch when you came back in the room.

The skin around his eyes and nose was red and a bit puffy, but the tears had dried and he blinked against letting any more escape.

Even though you understood who he was a little better now, it still felt weird to think of him as your husband when you took your seat next to him once more.

It was too soon for any of that.

Heejin resumed her position on the couch table – fully embracing her role as mediator, evidently – and looked from him to you.

You turned to the Selkie, fully turning your torso so you really did face him.

“I’d like to apologize. I had no idea about any of this, and- I’m sorry for doing this to you. All of... This.”

He swallowed and nodded slowly.

“I know- I know basically nothing about Selkies other than the thing with their coat; when you hide it, they can’t go back to the ocean, and so on. But I don’t- I’d never do that. And I will never do that. And I, I was wondering, if there was- Any way of... not doing this? Marrying and all of that, I mean.” He blinked, and Heejin shifted, and hastily you continued. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, you’re really pretty-“ He turned his eyes away and dropped his head a little, as if ashamed. “-and I’m sure you’re a really sweet guy, but I barely know you and wouldn’t it be better for you to marry out of love and not because... Because some dumb person accidentally proposed to you in a manner they didn’t even know about?”

“But it happened.” He said, voice small. “You did, if you meant to or not, and if you want to, you can have me. I’m ready to live with you. Unless... Unless you don’t-“

Heejin reached out and rubbed his knee comfortingly, and he collected himself.

“Unless you reject me, and tell me to go back to the sea. I would do that for you, too, live as a seal again. But, if I may, I would-“ He held eye-contact with Heejin, even though his head was turned towards you. “I would like for us to give this a try, before y- we, break apart.”

It seemed like he’d practiced saying it, for when he finished and his eyes glanced at you, his shoulders sagged down a little.

You leaned forward.

“This is all a lot.” You stared between Heejin’s socked feet. “Like, a lot. Can I- May I think about this? About... you, and me? Just-“ Your eyes found the clock on the old piano, focused on the pointers. “Until six pm? Give me time to think this over until then?”

You caught Heejin giving him an understanding, but still questioning look, thumb still rubbing over his knee.

He looked from her to you.

“Yes,” He agreed, swallowing bravely. “Okay. Six pm.”

Heejin invited the Selkie for breakfast, as she’d bought way too much, and even though you’d been reluctant to agree at first, it turned out to be nice.

He’d taken a glass of homemade marmalade that Heejin’s Gran had made, weighted it in his hand and Heejin, apparently knowing what was coming, had been barely able to contain her giggles before Seokjin had said “This is my jam!”. It had eased the way into chatting with him, about his visits to town, his friendship with Heejin, among other things.

He was funny, you had to admit that, and could also eat a lot. After munching through three rolls with various toppings he finally leaned back, satisfied at last.

Even though food coma must’ve been upon him, he helped in clearing off the table and putting everything back in the fridge, wiped the surface and then even stuck around long enough to help with the dishes.

The sun finally broke through the clouds as the hour neared two, and Heejin packed a bag for the beach.

It was warm again, summer having come back in full force after the cool down of the storm last night.

Clouds gathered over the horizon, far out over the water, but the sky spanning above you was clear and blue.

Baking in the sunlight and listening to the waves and the gulls crying out it was almost easy to forget the decision you had to make by the time the early evening came.

Seokjin had excused himself for now, going about his own business, and so you were left alone with Heejin and your thoughts.

“You really don’t have to do it, you know.”

You cracked an eye open and saw her lying next to you on her stomach, open book in the sand. It was a new softcover, otherwise her Grandmother would’ve likely been turning in her grave.

You sighed. “I know this is probably weird but-“

She glared at you. You hurried to backpedal.

“I mean, I guess in the big picture it’s not that weird, but I kind of... He really is cute, isn’t he?”

That got her laughing.

“He is. And he can dance, and sing, and loves to cook, and it’s a miracle nobody from this tiny village has dated him yet.”

The waves were light blue where they rolled on the shore.

“This affects you, too, though. I mean, I was with you first, doesn’t this- Isn’t this like marrying your side hoe? Or something?”

She laughed again and closed her book to turn her sun warmed face to you.

“I mean technically, yes, but under these circumstances I’d be willing to let you have your side hoe. We could still see each other? And...” She trailed off, squinting over the water.

“What?”

“I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Forget it.” A small smile played around her lips.

“What.” You poked her arm.

“I was just thinking-“ She slapped your fingers away. “-Hypothetically, if you do accept him, and you go off to have your thing, it would be nice if you moved in with him. Like a shared house. Preferably somewhere by the ocean, like... here.”

Her smile simmered down, and she looked at you again. “It would be nice to have you around again, you know?”

It wasn’t the first time she said that, and it wasn’t the first time you toyed with the thought what moving here permanently might be like.

“But if I move here I won’t be able to attend my lectures. And I really want that degree, I worked so long for it-“

“You could always do online classes.” Heejin dragged a finger through the soft sand, sneaking glances at you.

“Half the houses here don’t even have WiFi, and the internet café would cost a fortune if I stay holed up here for eight hours a day.” You shot back. Heejin pouted, still drawing swirls into the sand. You’d had this argument before.

“There’s new houses being built uphill, they have WiFi there. Or will have, when they’re done.”

That was new.

“Those would be too high of a price range for me.” Both of you had lost your playful snark. Before she could answer to that you shook your head, huffing.

“Look at us, debating on where I should stay with the strange Selkie I’m married to. Life is crazy.”

“So you will?” Nothing on her face let you know if she really did sound hopeful of if that was just your imagination.

You sighed.

“Honestly... I mean, I can try. We’ll see about the whole married-in-human-terms, but for now... He can’t be so bad. Is he?”

She shook her head so hard you got dizzy just by watching.

“He is not.” She confirmed.

You shrugged and rolled on your back, blinking against the bright sun.

“I guess, I could try. If he’s as nice to be around like at breakfast, and like you said... It feels a bit like cheating though, you know?” She looked at you, raised a brow with interest. “I mean, everyone else dates and breaks up and then there’s me, having been with you for the last years, and now suddenly I have a husband.” You turned your tongue over after saying that, feeling all sorts of strange at using that word. “Husband. How that sounds, too.” You shook your head. “It seems so crazy.”

“You do!” Kim Seokjin echoed, after you’d repeated the words to him at shortly past six, with Heejin rumbling in the kitchen and preparing to cook an early dinner. “You really do? You want to try?”

“Yes.” You said, carefully reaching out across the gap between you two on the couch and covered his balled up hands with yours.

His eyes were swimming again when you shyly looked up into them.

“Can I,” He cleared his throat, never losing eye-contact. “Can I please hug you? Oh me, I’m so-“

You nodded, and he lurched forward, wrapped you up in his arms and then you were flush against his chest with your cheek against the soft skin of his pelt.

“-happy.” He finished, mumbling the words in your hair and tightening his hold.

And it felt nice.

You still had no idea who he really was, apart from all which you did know, but that was what the next weeks would be for, you supposed.

“So, you’ll stay.” Heejin said over a spoon full of broth. You nodded, with a lot more collected Kim Seokjin on the other side of the kitchen table.

“That’s good, ‘cause you see...” She blew on the broth and then dropped the spoon back down, erasing her progress. It didn’t seem to matter, her eyes were glistening and her hands clasped under her chin. “I kind of got my mother to invest in the houses being build uphill, and as such you can pick one for yourself! A branch of my family’s business will rent them out to whoever wants, but you’ll be able to live there as long as you want. For only a small rent, of course.”

You dropped your spoon.

“Heejin-“

She lifted a finger.

“I’m not saying I planned this, because I didn’t, but I had the hope that if I had a little more to offer than a creaky bed in my makeshift library, I might be able to persuade you to come out here more often, and maybe get you to stay longer, too. And now... Now it might work out, after all!”

Kim Seokjin’s eyes switched from your friend to you.

“I know you don’t live in town, but where do you usually live? The truckstop a few kilometres from here? Or on the other side of the forest?”

You looked from him to Heejin, and then back.

“Um, Kim Seokjin-“

“Seokjin. Or Jin. Or, anything, really, is fine.”

“Seokjin, I- live a little further than just the stop or the forest.”

“That’s okay.” He said quickly, stirring his soup in its bowl. “I haven’t really... I mean, I never really left town much. On the occasion of walking around.”

You nodded, and suddenly felt a bit bad again.

“_______ will be back second next week. They always visit every second weekend.”

“So long.” Seokjin mumbled, and you quietly reached out your hand to tap it to his.

“I’ll just- I’ll need time to sort things out a bit, and transfer all my stuff online, but- As soon as the house is finished, I’ll probably be able to come and live here.”

“Speaking of which,” Heejin clapped her hands and startled both of you. “We can go look at them if you want?”

“What, now?” Seokjin’s eyes were wide as he desperately looked down on his bowl.

“Maybe tomorrow.” She added, faced with his distress. “It’s Sunday anyways, so nobody will be around. It’s the perfect time!”

She was right concerning that.

The houses were sprinkled over a plateau halfway up the hill, visible from the town but not so that they had really caught your eye before.

There was one, furthest out from the gravel road that had been put down already, with its balcony positioned just right so you could see both sunrise and –set.

Only the walls and the stairs were built, and a roof, but the balcony was there already. Seokjin came out to where you were standing with your hands in the pockets of your shorts, well away from the handrail-lacking edge. You turned your head and observed him, how he let his eyes roam from the horizon to the town nestled about a half-hour walk down the hill.

Even before he focused on you and shyly reached out his hand, asking for you to hold it without words and then smiled, you knew he had made a decision.

“I like this one.” You said, rubbing a thumb over the back of his hand. It felt very nice to do so.

“Me too.” He mumbled, eyes not letting go of your gaze as he answered your touch and tightened his fingers briefly.

“You wanna choose this one?”

He nodded, buzzing with energy now that the decision had been made.

“Heejin?”

You leaned around the opening that would one day hold the door, and found her with her phone out.

“I think we’ll take this one.”

Besides you Seokjin’s smile widened. He tugged on your hands a little, and even though he refrained from leaning his head against yours, you could see the happiness radiate from his action.

“Thank you.” He whispered, not for the first time.

“Who knows, maybe I’m a terrible flatmate and you’ll really regret moving in with me... Maybe I leave dirty clothes everywhere... Maybe I never shower... Maybe-”

He wrinkled his nose.

“I’ll lo- I mean, I will like you either way.” He spoke bravely, but still searched your face for a response. You grinned, and he did, too.

“Yah, are you two done?” Heejin yelled from below.

Neither of you had noticed her going down.

It still felt very new and like you shouldn’t be able to do it, but you disentangled your hands and wrapped the freed arm around his waist. He hummed, smiling, eyes sparkling.

AN.: you can also find this and everything else i’ve written on my ao3 runningfaucet

if you enjoyed reading this, please let me know what you liked best in the comments :)

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sugarwithtea · 2 years

Text

truth or dare || ksj

pairing : seokjin x reader

genre : angst, fluff, ex-best friends to lovers

rating : pg-15

summary : You and Seokjin meet each other again at a college reunion, him igniting the feelings of first love inside you after not meeting him for 4 years after an unexpected seperation. He still doesn't know the reason for it and you have never dared to tell him the truth. Maybe this time, you play the game courageously. Maybe not. Who knows?

word count : 6.3k

warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, flashback scenes, kissing, miscommunication (i mean, ofc), crying, mentions of body insecurity, first love themes, jin being indecisive as fuck, peer pressure (if you can say it so then), this ain't a warning but his appearance is a bit fancy!! overall - it's seokjin being a hazard for all of us.

author's note : thankyou to the loveliest @gimmethatagustd for requesting this fic with this dialogue prompt <33 love ya jai :) and thanks to my love @highly-functioning-mitochondria for beta-ing it :))

mood : this love (taylor's version) - taylor swift

seokjin's aesthetic/moodboard

sugarwithtea m.list || taglist form (for future fics)

"I still don't really understand what happened between us."

The golden lights casted a beautiful shadow over the main dance floor, elegant and royal. The waiters weaved through the buzzed crowd of elite looking adults, your ex classmates, to be precise, quite skillfully.

Your eyes scanned the crowd to take in the stark differences, if any, in your classmates' appearances. It had been four years since you last met them. You had been in contact with a few of your friends from college, but had lost most of them eventually. Some faces greet you with a friendly smile which you instantly return, while some just dismiss your presence as you do the same.

Taehyung had been keen on bringing you to your college reunion this time, one that happens every two years. You don't know why they hold a reunion every two years. Presumably, you had missed the first party and had then met an absolutely enraged Taehyung as he had failed to spot you at the location it was held at.

So now, here you were, leaning against the bar with a champagne flute in one of your hands and the other nervously twirling your hair. You were not specifically excited or even scared to meet someone, except one person.

Kim Seokjin.

Even the mere thought of his name brings heat straight to your face and you cower behind the glass, taking a sip from it to hide your sudden blush.

You and him went way back to your childhood days. Both of you became friends as you were neighbours and then went on to become classmates in college. He had always been your support system and safe place when you went through the ups and downs of your life, your best friend.

He had also been one more thing.

Your first love.

You were never able to act on your feelings, always too scared to break the friendship or distance yourself from him. You confidently believed that he didn't reciprocate your love, that his love was just platonic, not because he dated other people frequently. No, he rarely did that. The only girlfriend he ever had was one in the last year of highschool, when you weren't classmates yet, just neighbours and friends.

The thing which made you believe that he never loved you, and will never love you, was an incident that took place during your last year.

— 4 years ago —

"Where are we even going, Heejin?"

"To the gym." she delightfully responds as she drags you across the corridors, heading towards the gym.

"What for?" you exasperatedly groan.

Her eyes sparkle with mischief and a slight bit of adoration as she answers.

"Jinyoung is there. The boys are practising for their next match. Might as well catch them in action, yeah?" she winks at you as she pulls you inside the gym, pushing open the doors authoritatively.

Loud laughter greets you as soon as you step inside, followed by incoherent mumbles and yellings of excited boys. All of them fall to deaf ears for you, except for one.

Seokjin's.

The fact that he was the captain of the basketball team had completely slipped your mind. His windshield laugh only allows you to know that he might have made some stupid joke or pun, and is now laughing heartedly at it.

Your lips, who seem to have a mind of their own, form a smile at the sound of his happiness. You can imagine his crinkled eyes, full lips stretched into a proud grin, his handsome face contorted into pure mirth and his shoulders shaking from his joy.

The realisation that you loved him had dawned on you long ago, and the feelings just increased every time you saw him, heard him or thought of him, with an aching feeling inside your heart.

You were not so sure about what he would reciprocate if you opened up your heart to him, but still were hopeful. His actions were the ones of a best friend, but there were some moments where you felt like maybe even he was in this a little too deep, if not as much as you were.

You and Heejin settle behind the door that seperated the lockers from the main court. The laughter soon died and suddenly Jinyoung spoke up.

"Jin, your turn! Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

A series of ooh's followed his choice and both you and Heejin held your breath in excitement for what's to come next.

"Okay so," started a lanky boy who had been leaning against the lockers all the time, with mischief in his eyes.

"Who'd you fuck? Y/N or Hana?" he ended and everyone present in the gym went quiet at the question.

You could hear your heartbeat up in your ears and your eyes were as wide as saucers as you registered Heejin staring at you with the same surprised reaction, while gulping to watch your expressions.

"What the fuck?" Seokjin gasped out as the fog of shock faded slowly from around everyone present there.

All the boys except Jinyoung and Yoongi started the usual series of laughter and noises as their anticipation for Seokjin's answer rose steadily, two of them even having the nerve to clap him on the back in a friendly, nonchalant way. The lanky boy was now grinning from ear to ear as he stood straight, standing as tall as Jin and advanced towards the middle of the group, directly in front of Jin.

"Aww, seems like someone is scared that his best friend will be upset if he disagrees to fuck her." he says in a mocking, high pitched tone while jutting out his bottom lip to mimick a dramatic pout.

Laughter breaks out almost immediately and you try to hide yourself from the girl beside you. These were college boys, immature and insensitive. You could not take their words seriously and let them affect your thoughts.

"Oh, or wait." the same lanky boy, whom now you recognised as Woomin continued, "Don't tell me you are hesitant because you want to have sex with her?"

Silence spreads once again while some of the boys morphed their expression into one of disgust, mumbling shocked profanities under their breath or to each other, inaudible to you, but quite obviously those not in your favour. A string of ‘what?, really?, oh my god seokjin no!' were passed through them which made you want to run away.

Jin stood in shocked poise even when Woomin walked up too close for him to be comfortable, looked him straight in his eyes with a sly smirk as he opened his mouth once again to spew utter nonsense.

"Tell me, Seokjin. Would you fuck Y/N or not?" he asked in an almost whisper.

"I'm not answering a shitty question like that." Jin spoke through gritted teeth while his whole form was on the verge of shuddering.

Woomin stepped back and spread his arms in an authoritative manner, still looking at him in the eyes.

"If you don't then we'll know it's a yes."

Jin's eyes grew as wide as they could while he took a small step back, his whole body language shouting "DEFENSE MODE! DIE OR SURRENDER"

Woomin and the boys doubled down in laughter, him hitting his knee with his hand while one tall guy, taller than Seokin, says,

"Not Y/N Jin. Not her." as he scrunches his nose in disappointment and visible disgust at the thought.

Your heart dropped to your feet when you saw Jin feeling all attacked and hesitant, even considering answering this shitty question to save his pride or erase his cowardness.

He regained his footing as he straightened up, eyes still wide as a toddler's and lips trembling to form an answer.

"I won't."

If you wanted to run away before, now you want to bury yourself right then and there especially when a whole team is having a conversation about you with Heejin not so sneakily trying to glance at you to gauge your reaction.

"Why?" Woomin oh so smugly questions and Seokjin had to stick his chin up, if ever so slightly with hesitation visible as daylight in his form to get himself and his answer approved by his beloved team.

Of course Jin won't fuck his bestfriend, why would he? You think. He might reason it as you being his best friend and your dynamic being platonic, leaving no space for y'all to think about sex with each other but what he says next has tears welling up in your eyes as you try to hold them back from falling.

"I would never fuck someone like her."

You couldn't stop yourself from running away from there while choking on a sob. You didn't care anymore what Heejin thought about your reaction, you wanted to be away from everyone.

You kind of knew that Jin always thought of you platonically but never in a million years would you have thought of him referring to you like this, as if you were some untouchable, unfuckable being who only spewed disgust from others when she went in front of them.

The tears were unstoppable as they dampened your pillow, one that you had stuffed your face in as soon as you reached home and shut the door of your bedroom to save yourself from the prying eyes of your roommate.

You were never confident about your body. You knew you didn't have the model figure but you also didn't regard it dismissively with contempt and disgust. You weren’t fat but you weren't size zero either. Your heart broke when you thought of people regarding you like this for your appearance.

You pinch at the flesh of the slight cellulite forming on your thighs and cry out louder. You knew you were being insensitive with yourself, blaming yourself for a natural cause. But, you never knew why he disregarded you so easily. It could have been your body, it could have been your personality, it could have been you.

Haste and anger lead to the worst decisions ever.

The same happened when you decided to distance yourself from Jin to get over him and to also process your feelings and thoughts about the most childish game you had witnessed.

You stop the waiter to get your fifth glass of champagne as Taehyung rambles on at your side about his latest encounter with Namjoon and Jimin at the Annual Business Conference, both of them working as Regional Managers for two leading companies when Taehyung himself worked as the CEO's personal assistant of a major tech firm. Both of them were unable to attend the reunion and thus Taehyung was giving the details about their whereabouts to you.

You spot Yoongi a second later, striking up a conversation with the DJ of the night, who was doing a lazy job at hyping up the crowd, given the low beat and soft tone of the music he played.

You nonchalantly glide your eyes over the crowd when suddenly Taehyung pauses his ramble causing you to look at him. He donned his boxy grin as his eyes sparkled up with recognition. As you follow his line of sight, you spot your worst nightmare, or maybe your best dream.

Seokjin gracefully strides over to you in his full glory. Wearing a black shirt with a few buttons open at the top, covered by a black blazer, while his shirt was tucked into black slacks which impressively showcased his thighs, he looked like a fucking god. His hair was side parted, one part fell onto his eyes while the other was swept back with the most beautiful mullet. He had let go of a tie and one of his hands was in his pocket while the other held a champagne flute.

Dionysus might have been ashamed of the sight in front of him. Seokjin looked alluring, especially with the alcohol in his hand, he gave a complex to the Greek god himself. His plump, full lips were in a dashing smile as his eyes crinkled at the ends with joy.

As if like a strong gust of wind, all the college days come back to you in a jiffy. You were reminded of the days you both spent sneaking out of your houses to have a walk at the park, the day you both were delighted to know you got in the same college, when you stayed with him at the skating park till nightfall and talked about everything, when you cheered for him from the bleachers during his games, when he comforted you during your first breakup, bringing tubs of your favourite ice cream and watching sappy romance movies with you all night. When you realised you were in love with him, the night of your college fair, everything.

You also remember the days when he tried to talk to you but you merely made an excuse or ran away. You remember how your hangouts and meetings kept on decreasing till they stopped completely. You remember how he still smiled at you whenever you ran into each other and never showcased any annoyance or sourness, you remember it all.

He quickly engulfs Taehyung in a hug as he excitedly shouts his name. You notice how his biceps flex through the blazer as he wraps an arm around Taehyung and quickly pulls your eyes away, gulping down the remainder of your champagne.

You are the next one he will greet, of course. You know he is still a gentleman and that he never stopped considering you as a friend. He lets go of Taehyung and soon speaks.

"Hey man it's been a long time, yeah?"

"Says the man who’s holed up in his office at every opportunity he gets."

"Says the man who works for the CEO but when I ask if he'd like to be CEO, he declines."

"What the fuck does it even mean?"

"CEO you know — C each other."

You could not stop the laughter bubbling in your throat as it came out in a giggle when Taehyung groaned while facepalming himself at Jin's stupid pun.

"Oh my god that was so lame, Jin" he says.

He laughs his legendary laugh as his eyes land on you and not to be dramatic or something, but your breath truly hitches when you see those beautiful orbs stare right into yours. All traces of laughter vanish from his face as a dashing smile takes its place instead.

"Y/N" he breathes out almost in a whisper, while tilting his head a bit so as to truly look at you. He smugly takes your hand in his and leaves a soft kiss on your knuckles as you stare at him in awe, jaw slack due to surprise and a blush creeping up your neck and cheeks at his actions.

"Kim Seokjin at your service, my lady." he says as he bows down gracefully, your hand still in his. You furrow your brows in question at his sudden odd behaviour but still can't stop getting all flustered at it. He notices your state and pulls you in for a hug with the same hand.

The music seemed to have gotten slower and as you crashed against his chest, still in a shock, your senses went into an overdrive. His cologne fills your nose and the hand that finds solace around your waist burns into your skin. Your eyes widen but soon, you relax within his grasp. Trying to calm down your breathing, you cancel out, or try to cancel out your feelings creeping back in your mind. You also try to ignore the erratic beating of his heart, mistaking it as your own.

"Jokes aside, Y/N." he whispers with a laugh and tilts his head down, unconsciously sniffing your hair.

"I've missed you." he mumbles into your hair and you unknowingly wrap your arms around his torso which had been lying limp by your sides.

He missed you.

You realise the meaning of his words, Seokjin has missed you. All this while when you thought that maybe he would have forgotten a girl like you, he says that he never did. But of course again, you guys have always been friends, even though distant after a point. So you try not to overthink his words more and mumble a small 'same' as you detach yourself from him, fighting your heart who wants to stay there forever.

He settles in the space between you and Taehyung and smiles wistfully at the crowd and basically, everything. He looks at you again, with nothing but softness in his eyes.

"It's been so long since we last heard from each other, right?"

"Yeah, it has been."

"I think since graduation?"

Before you can even open your mouth, Taehyung jumps into action.

"What? You both haven't talked since graduation?" his eyes were all owlish and eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"Yes. I tried to find her contacts but was not successful and I asked you once but I guess you forgot? So I didn't pester you more." he says with a light apologetic smile that makes your heart sink.

He had tried to contact you but you hadn't, even though you very much wanted to locate him and run into his arms.

Taehyung reasons his lack of response as his short term memory and thinking he has already replied to the message when in reality, he hasn't and expresses his concerns on technology and it's increasing disadvantages when Seokjin shuts his mouth up and stops the conversation from going further downhill, thanks to him being a Computer Engineer and coming up with advances that made Taehyung go tight lipped at once.

The flow had changed, you were no longer the one they were talking about and you were glad that you were spared from giving a reason for not being communicative with Jin. You try to focus on their conversation but soon zone out when you realise that they are having an argument on who's better, Mario or Luigi.

The moment you are truly pulled back into the conversation is when you felt an arm drape itself around your shoulders and you realised that Jisn was pulling you into him, if only ever so slightly. Your cheeks go pink at his action and you once again hide behind your glass, taking a sip from it casually.

"Taehyung tells me that I am not a crazy Harry Potter fanboy. Y/N, kindly enlighten him." he laughs in his full glory as he brings you a bit forward and looks at Taehyung smugly, as if to tell him he has already lost the debate.

You scoff amusingly at his words and start enthusiastically.

"Oh Tae, you should've seen his bedroom when he was in high school. Completely decorated with Harry Potter posters and a print of the Marauder's Map pinned near his desk. He had almost transformed his bed into the classic four poster gryffindor dorm bed but then thought better."

Taehyung defensively glares at you as Seokjin victoriously smiles at his flustered state.

"But I- umm- I, was right. He is not a fanboy anymore, he is a fanman."

"Oh no." you groan.

"Oh my god that was so lame, Taehyung. Worse than my dad jokes."

"I, for one, second this notion." you say and immediately high five Seokjin as he brings up his hand. He unknowingly flexes his fingers right after he lets go of your touch.

Taehyung whines like a child and stomps his foot.

"Ugh, you guys always gang up against me. I think I'm gonna go find Yoongi." and with that, he leaves the both of you at your own mercy.

Seokjin glances around the whole area and resorts to sipping from his drink as you nervously do the same. You could feel your hands get sweaty and your body on the verge of shivering as you shuddered with the anxiety and awkwardness of being alone with Jin, neither of you speaking a single word. It's as if he sensed your thoughts exactly at that moment and turned to look at you with a lone smile.

"So," he begins,"How have you been?"

"Great, a lil busy but, yeah."

"I sensed you were busy." he chuckles while shaking his head and looking at his feet, your insides aching once more at the sight.

You know why he thinks you were busy. It's because you never sought him out, never tried to find him, never tried to do nothing. Little does he know, it's all you've ever wanted, but the shrivelled up rose in your heart extends its thorns, caging you whole, not allowing you to act on your instincts, but on your overthinking abilities. But now standing face to face, you have to put up a front and answer him.

"Yeah, well. What about you?"

"Same."

And you both fall back into that silence once again. This time though, it's less unnerving, slightly calming, and a lot suspicious. It feels like the calm before a storm. You don't know yet in what way it will greet you, but you can feel it coming in your bones, anxiously twisting your fingers to try and come up with a conversation starter, when Jin eventually breaks the ice, the storm beginning with a heavy downpour.

"To be honest," he says while leaning back against the bar and cocking his head to look at you, still with softness, grace and adoration, no malice.

"I still don't really understand what happened between us."

Your mind shuts down and goes into an overdrive at the same moment. You knew this question was due some time but you had no idea that time would be so soon. Now that the question lingers in the air, you don't know how to reply to him. You can't let your feelings come to the surface so easily and you definitely can't let him know your childish decision, a result of an immature game. The only resort left is nonsensical, but you go for it anyway.

"What?" you laugh inquisitively, feigning confusion. "What are you talking about?" you ask, putting up your best act.

It's like even after all these years, Seokjin can see right through you and your facade. He shakes his head and lets his hands fall down to his side.

"Don't play coy with me now, Y/N. You know what I'm talking about."

Busted.

He looks at you expectantly, as if you were going to give him the whole world, which you wish to, but can't. You can't come up with any reasons for your departure from his life. You know he had tried to get you back, but it was you, it had always been you.

"I think we just weren't that good of friends."

He laughs mirthlessly, still not discarding his softness though.

"We were the best."

You indeed were, but these hands of yours had to let him go free or else you would have fallen in a ditch so deep, the hands you held then would have been of no help. He had left a permanent mark on you, glowing in the dark were his words and your memories with him. You were that good with him.

"I had to watch you leave." he says, pausing your thoughts. "Watch you leave me."

He laughs again, but sadly.

A bubble of anger starts rising in your stomach at his statement. He had to watch you leave but shouldn't he have been happy that you left? You mean, you were always the weird one and he is better off without someone like you.

"You were better without someone like me anyways." you mutter the words under your breath, a little too loud though, scared of what might happen if he hears them but still eager to let him hear them.

"What?"

"Nothing, Jin. Why are we talking about things which happened so long ago?" you laugh it away.

"Because they matter to me." he stands straight now, towering over you handsomely. Exerting a sense of dominance, but softly.

"I don't want to discuss the past right now."

"No. What did you mean by someone like you?"

You groan like a kid.

"Someone like me." you vaguely gesture towards yourself, doing a once over with your hands.

"Huh? Why do you say it as if it's a bad thing to be like you?" he is utterly confused which only confuses you more. Wasn't he the one who had found problems in you? Why is he acting so vague then?

"You tell me."

"Can you stop beating around the bush?" He runs a hand through his hair in utter exasperation and lets it fall limp at his side in a tightly clenched fist.

"Leave it." you say a little too loud so that a few heads turn in your direction.

Seokjin gently takes your wrist in his hand and directs you towards the empty hallway leading towards the exit. He stands in front of you as your back faces the wall, a mere inches away from it, but you stand confidently and he never tries to overpower you.

"I just can't leave it." he gulps and if you didn't know better you'd say he looked nervous.

"Tell me, Y/N. What happened?"

The memory of that day still stings you painfully. It's not in your best interests to recall it, especially in front of the person who stars in it. You close your eyes and laugh mirthlessly. It's an irony that he has to be the one to ask this question and not the other way around. So, you dare to say the truth after all.

"Oh I'm sorry. I meant to say 'someone like her'" you make air quotes around and open your eyes just in time to catch his face, drained of all colour and eyes as wide as possible.

His lower lip quivers and he takes a step back in mock defence, the stance taking you back to the day when he was asked the dreadful question, poised similarly, in shock and ever ready to defence. It's just a second's difference then, that you find his eyes have glossed slightly, and he tries to not catch your eye.

"You- you, I- how do you know that?"

"I was there, Seokjin."

"What?"

You smirk mockingly and look up at him. His eyes are blown out as you stare at him, holding your gaze for a long time before breaking a little.

"Me and Heejin, we were in the gym that day."

You render him speechless, thus continuing with your revelation.

"She wanted to sneak up on Jiyoung, when we - " you gulp and look away from him.

"When we caught up on your little game and it was your turn."

"And you-"

"I did. I heard your answer."

Your heart is already racing at a million miles an hour and the speed threatens to increase itself when you look at him. He is on the verge of tears, truly shaking. Embarrassment flows through him as he refuses to meet your eyes. You feel your heart break and you almost extend your hand to him, to hold him.

"I, I am sorry, Y/N." he finally steadies himself and reciprocates your gaze. "I didn't mean it."

"You mean, you wanted to fuck me?"

"That was a shitty question which I didn't want to answer, but was compelled to."

You notice how he doesn't deny your assumption but you keep it to yourself, after all, it's time you know the truth behind the words he had dared to speak out loud.

"So, you said the truth, right?"

"Why would I think of you with contempt, Y/N?" he fists his hair and pleads to you with his eyes.

"I don't know, you tell me."

He takes a deep breath and sombers up his expression, still showcasing guilt and embarrassment.

"I was a young, immature, frat boy, then. You know how it works. The boys in my team considered themselves to have a certain standard that everyone had to match. I needed them to be in my favour, I was the captain. So I panicked when Woomin asked the question and replied what would have been in their best interests."

"In their best interests? What do you mean?"

You hold your breath for what's to come next as you can visibly see Seokjin tremble in front of you, contemplating giving you the answer or against it.

"Seokjin." you whisper slowly, and nod your head.

He exhales shakily and takes one of your hands in his. He starts speaking while looking down at your hands and rubbing circles on the back of it, soothingly.

"They didn't like you. Always ridiculed me for being friends with you. I ignored them most of the time as my attempts to change their thoughts had failed, miserably. That day," he sniffs and you look up to see a lone tear threatening to fall out of his eyes and mark his sadness, "I tried to dismiss them at first. But when I had no other option left, I had to say what I thought they would agree with."

You unconsciously grip his hand tighter at that and he looks up at you.

"That was the stupidest, shittiest move I had ever made and I still regret it. But you know they say, college is the place where your minds are the most indecisive. Mine was. And I came under the decisions of my peers. I am sorry."

You don't even know how to react to him, or how to conceive his words peacefully. The fog was clearing out each passing second but he still stood amongst its core, trying to shout for you, waving his hands around to lessen the mist. You open your mouth and close it again, wordlessly. Gulping audibly, you still don't retrieve your hand from his.

"You could've said anything else."

"I know." he squeezes your hand.

He doesn't say sorry once again, as he knows it's pointless. He now takes your other hand in his free hand.

"Y/N, please understand. I would never, even in my wildest dreams, have thought those things about you. Never."

You laugh and look at him now shedding tears. He was crying and you had not broken yet. You mindlessly free one of your hands from his grip and bring it up to his cheek, wiping away the stray tear. You realise your action and go to take your hand back when he keeps his palm over yours, holding your hand right there.

You stare at him wide eyed as he softly leans into your touch, relaxing at it. His eyes are pleading with you, asking you to understand him. He was driven by peer pressure. You could see the disgust written all over his teammates face at your mention, then. Of course, you had forgiven him a long time ago, when you were no longer an immature college student. But watching him plead for forgiveness so earnestly stirs your heart.

"Jinnie," his face lights up at the nickname you've called him by since your childhood,"I get it. It was childish of me for running away from you due to this reason, I am sorry. I, I just couldn't face you after knowing you thought of me with such contempt. It was," you look away and stare at the thin glitter lining on his suit, mumbling your next words almost quietly,"heartbreaking."

"Y/N, look at me."

You look at him and your world shifts. He is staring at you with tears, adoration, love and a fading loneliness. Your past swims in them and they crinkle to form his handsome smile when he looks down at you.

"Keep your heart breakable, but never by the same hand twice. I don't want to be the same hand again. I promise, I will never break your heart."

You smile at his words and rub your thumb over his cheek.

"I won't break your heart either, ever."

These words felt so intimate, you didn't know what he was thinking of. Your words were the result of your evergreen love for him, his words, maybe not?

"I tried to get you back, but failed."

Ah, yes. The time you avoided him like the plague.

"I was scared of many things, to be honest. Almost all of them were me and my mind thinking the worst case scenario and dwelling over it. I needed to be away from you. It has helped me, broke me, healed me, but with scars."

His eyebrows form a crease.

"I don't understand."his voice breaks.

"I - " you shake your head and close your mouth. You can't tell him that you love him. If you do so, this time he'll be the one to run away.

He lifts your chin up delicately. He was crying. Not in the way that only some tears marked his beautiful face, but in a way that made it hard for him to breathe. He leans his forehead against yours and closes his eyes, letting the tears fall down steadily and you immediately intertwine your fingers with his.

"I was a mess when you stopped smiling at me. I was a mess when you stopped talking to me. After college I tried again, but was never able to reach out to you." He laughs,"I guess, I was scared too. Scared of you not acknowledging me once again and me going into the wallowing state. Though, I never left it. Maybe because I know that I still, I," he pauses and gulps audibly.

"I love you, Y/N."

What the actual fuck?

He loves you? The man you have loved your whole life loves you? Your jaw drops to the floor and you search his eyes for some kind of joke but all that stares back at you is love. He closes them and that's when you realise he might be waiting for some kind of reaction from you.

"Wha- you- how…you love me?"

"Always have."

He renders you speechless, all you could do is stare at him wide eyed. His confession stirred your insides to an extent that it was hard for you to stand up straight, or process the happenings around you.

"I loved you but didn't want anyone to know about it, as i was scared. That you'd run away from me, that I'll lose you. Well, for my bad luck, it did happen eventually." he chuckles sadly and continues.

"But I can't afford to lose you again."

Your face lights up with joy and contentment at his words and you finally let out a sigh of relief. Atlast, your question of years has been answered. The fog has cleared and you see yourself standing with him, position same as that of now, except none of you are crying. You know it's finally the time you let out the words you've been meaning to tell him since years.

"I love you too, Jin." you mumble so quietly he might have almost missed it if not for his attentive listening when it comes to you.

"You, you do?" He looks so happy and expectant.

"It was the main reason why I had to go away from you, to get over you."

"Oh my god, we were idiots."

He pulls you flush against his chest and hugs you tightly while kissing the top of your head.

"Not anymore though." you mumble into his chest and you swear you could hear, rather than see his smile. Pulling away from him, for a second only, you wrap your hands around his neck and stand on your tiptoes, your lips hovering over his.

"Kiss me, Y/N. Please."

And you press your lips to his.

He takes no time in kissing you back, moving his lips against yours slowly as you sigh into the kiss. Sparks fly around you and you melt into him immediately. His lips are soft, just as you had dreamt of so many times. And they taste sweet, just like you had expected them to. Your senses go into an overdrive and you start moving your jaw against his with increased vigour. He senses it almost immediately and presses himself to you as your back hits the wall. His tongue glides across your bottom lip and you give him access to your mouth, tasting his mouth for the first time, ferevering the sweet taste and —

"I always knew you both would end up together. Oh my god."

You both break away from the kiss and snap your heads towards the source of the voice at the same time.

Taehyung was standing there with a hand grasped over his heart, to feign adoration and surprise. You can feel a shy smile creeping up on your lips as you look away from him.

"Go away, Tae." Seokjin grumbles at him playfully.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Carry on, lovebirds." he giggles like a schoolgirl and disappears as quickly as he had appeared.

You and Seokjin look at each other for a hot second after his departure before breaking into laughter. You clutch at his biceps and he holds your waist as you both keep on laughing heartily. None of you know why you are laughing. Maybe it was because of the encounter with Taehyung, maybe it was because of the irony at how things had turned out, or maybe it was because you both were finally so happy you couldn't control it.

Happy tears well up in your eyes and your chest and stomach start aching by the intensity of your joy.

"My lungs are aching, oh god. I need to stop laughing." You say, while laughing.

"Well I think then we truly do be-lung with each other."

And, you laugh again. This time it goes on and on while you look at each other, full of love, adoration, respect and promises.

After all, you both had dared to tell the truth and are now revelling in its bliss.

taglist : @nuniah @kittykooyoongi @highly-functioning-mitochondria @jeonkookiesworld @haliiimede @jjkeverlast @aliimac (if the tag doesn't work then please note that I wasn't able to tag you)

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