#plonk!

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me

[galaxa88]

I originally wanted to post a picture of my octoling’s fit in Splatoon 3 with some stupid caption but I decided to draft it and all I saw was this

[jedi-starbird]

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

[falling-down-the-scroll-hole]

Sound on!

"Clickrrrrrrr plonk plonk"

[axoqiii]

coughs up another dl!boatboys drawing

[blairpfaff]

「異人たち」 / 'All of Us Strangers' Interview | Searchlight JPN

[midnights-dragon]

yeah sorry i just don't think i can make it out tonight. my bearded dragon is sitting on me. no yeah it's gonna be all day. well you know how it is. yeah she's smiling with her little teeth. oh she just yawned too. of course i'm crying about it how heartless do you think i am

[chapinii]

thinking abt madagio making qfit a cat hybrid so that he can use him as a vessel to spy on the island through easier means

[wistfulrat]

・❥・lesbian wangxian reccs ・❥・

ao3topships poll gate made me realize there are hundreds nay thousands of u who dont know abt lesbian wangxian ?? that’s so sad can i proselytize u real quick

mimilamp cinematic universe (the ppl’s mcu) sorry for starting this list with a whole author catalog. as if it's my fault!! these gave me covid. no listen mimilamp fics have feverish lesbian angst levels of hot horny despair that could paralyze a large forest animal. and on a sentence level it's just stunning. messy dykes fumbling toward love confessions while making emotionally insane choices and the sex scenes fuckn bang ??? god is real

good, good - 13.5k E Wei Ying has two broken wrists and now she needs Lan Zhan to help her do stuff (jerk off)

here’s a story - 46k E Wei Ying reluctantly joins her recently-dumped best friend, Lan Zhan, on a couples' holiday retreat. Snow! Drinks! Truth or dare! There's a s-s-s-single bed! You'll never guess what happens next.

out of your system - 20k E “Maybe you should get me out of your system,” Wei Ying blurts. “Maybe that’ll help.” // Wei Ying finds out her best friend Lan Zhan is in love with her and offers a really super solution.

exposure therapy - 14k E Wei Ying clambered up from the floor, put the joint on the corner of the night stand, announced, “Exposure therapy,” and got into Lan Zhan’s bed. // Lan Zhan doesn't like to be touched, Wei Ying likes to touch.

know no one else - 20k E Lan Zhan moves out, Wei Ying's boyfriend moves in. Six months later, Lan Zhan visits, they go to a party, and Wei Ying has something to tell her.

74243 this author should be studied in a lab bc these 2 fics ruined my life. a pulitzer prize short fic with immaculate tone followed by the fuck nastiest shit you will ever read. "wei ying swipes right" still a top 3 bar of all time re: fic summaries. like people died.

chef’s kiss - 6.5k E Wei Ying said, “You know, in some ways I’m kind of depressed. I took your biggest dick on my first try. Now I don’t have anything to build up to.” “There are bigger ones available,” Lan Zhan said lazily. “I can pay for express shipping.” // (Lan Zhan works the late shift.)

pull out game weak - 22.7k E Wei Ying swipes right.

plonk this is the only fic in many ways. dyke nmj's mustache academy award winning breakout role. possessive hot dyke lwj. the sentence "don't knot her you freak." have u ever seen a group chat get rabies in real time. the slut rot breached containment. it was a public health crisis. it brought back horny cinema. cultural reset.

good friends - 11.5k E “I could invite her over for when the game’s done,” Nie Mingjue offers. Lan Zhan hums, considering it. They do that sometimes. Take omegas down together.

occultings will i ever get tired of -wwx thinks she's straight and wants to practice being gay with sadsack lwj who is like sure im in love with u and this will cause me psychic damage but mayhaps that's the cost of being homiesexual--? no i dont get tired of the classics it's called taste

give me one good honest kiss - 25k E The text keeps flashing over and over in Lan Zhan's head like the bulb lights on a marquee. They’d been talking about homework directly before that, swapping notes on music theory in the baroque period. Then, like a fork of lightning out of a clear blue sky: wanna practice kissing? 😚 // Wei Ying suggests an arrangement. Lan Zhan, in love, deals.

saltyfeathers ok so like sure it's ill advised to get your cartilage pierced at claire's but if you wanted the experience of participating in deranged hysteric behavior that kinda bangs in a badgood way? well then.

the mall that has it all - 8k E She introduced herself in the food court, breathless after sprinting across it in Lan Zhan’s direction and vaulting over a table only to crash into the seat across from her, ask, “Can I have a sip?”, spring forward with both elbows on the table to wrap her burgundy lips around Lan Zhan’s smoothie straw, wrinkle her nose, and say, “What is that, kale? Not really my thing, as like, a mall goth. Oh!” A pleased, chaotic exhale. “My name’s Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan said, after taking a moment to fully process the last forty-five seconds, “What?” or; mall goth au

[thenwhatthefukcisthis]

..... yeah.. arthur is the poised, mannered one with proper etiquettes out of those two..

[harleytudinous]

❝You've found me out, I do want something. I need your help❞

THE SANDMAN | CHAPTER 2 IMPERFECT HOSTS

[glitterarygetsit]

some further first-time 911 viewer observations, tsunami edition, summarised from my discord screamings:

eddie dropping chris off with "his buck" just say "other dad" already

A FUCKING TSUNAMI??!?!

oh. oh no. oh no. he's got to tell eddie that--oh no.

THEIR FACES

i am emotionally compromised

OH THANK FUCK

i'm gonna watch that conversation again *watches it seven more times*

buck's "wait, am i gay?" post-feels face

THEY CAME BACK

oh shit buck is down SO bad

SOMETHING VERY LGBTQ IS HAPPENING RN

FUCKIGN KISS ALREADY

[002yb]

For as rough as his brother's hands can be, they're gentle with him. Even when Ace couldn't return the kindness, Luffy endured him; holding fast to clenched fists and knuckles that were split and swollen. Persistent, stubborn even after Luffy pried his hand into Ace's and grit his teeth through the ache of Ace's bruising grips. Whining because he was a crybaby and it hurt, but never pulling away. Only squeezing just as tight in playful retaliation. Smile wide as he coaxed Ace's fingers out of their vice grip to clasp their hands together - warm and soft in a way that made Ace flinch. Because while there was dirt beneath Luffy's nails, there was blood beneath his.

And in spite of that—in spite of everything—Luffy never let go of him. Whether or not Ace feels worth that love and tender devotion, Luffy holds on to him: hands clasped together as Luffy beckons him on new adventures, a reassuring squeeze whenever Ace wavers, a bruising grip when Luffy is overcome; nails cutting into Ace's skin until Ace soothes him. Lips ghosting over knuckles - swollen and split).

Rough, but gentle with Ace. Always.

[boghermit]

[zhongrin]

Zhongli is dragon right so what about dragon Alhaitham and Wriothesley.

And what kind of dragons would they be????

not my monsterfucker and dragonfucker coming out

ough al haitham would be such a pretty dragon. he's a dragon who would guard a library just bc he likes reading the books (though it's kind of hard to flip the pages with those claws). omg now i'm imagining me stumbling into this abandoned tower full of high shelves of books and bonding with al haitham..... and now i'm his designated private audiobook (aka i would read the books for him as we lounge in the sun). omg. omg. omg. wait. i love this concept sm.

also wriothesley..... menacing huge dragon with lots of scars. OH. WAIT. NO. CERBERUS. THREE HEADED DOGS. SHEEPY. SHEEPY. SHEEYP. LISTEN

T H R E E C O C K S