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#pls ignore that im a day late i tried my best i swear
moonbreeze19 · 5 months
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hell or flying
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[...]
Perhaps it’s reassurance, a reminder, that human power is not yet infinite and may never be. And he can't—won't—be truly dangerous if his power is never absolute.
Alain waits, watching the sky and sea until the water is dark, far from blue, and the sky is nearly black at the top and deep orange along the horizon. 
It’s peaceful. It’s beautiful. He knows with such incredible clarity that it is not going to last.
“and when the seasons change, will you stand by me? because i’m a young man built to fall.” there are moments of quiet—maybe even peace—between the fire, gods, and world-saving. alain finds he doesn’t know what to do with them.
(on ao3 here)
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for tsme week 2024!! a collection of missing scenes throughout (and a little bit after) tsme canon. this was an absolute pleasure to write - i hope you enjoy! a very happy 10th anniversary to tsme!!
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technowoah · 3 years
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hey hey hey! i really really really love ur works and wanna reuwest a purpled x reader one. also since purpled said hes only comfy with his character what about the reader losing their last cannon life to dream and purpled gets really really sad until like- a month later, she comes back from hell. kinda like c!jacks revival. If your not comfy with this pls ignore <3
My Mission
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Purpled is still trying to figure out how to deal with your death, but before he can you come back.
- Platonic Purpled x Revived!Reader
- Anon Requested!
- blurb
- italics = flashback (except the last few lines)
- the "hes" out of italics are referring to Purpled.
⚠︎: slight swearing, angst to fluff-ish, gore, no dsmp spoilers.
An// I know this is late but I'm having major writers block lol ✌🏾😛 I hope you like it love!
The night was cold as he sat on a hill away from the kingdom Dream had made himself. The tall grass flowed around him like a blanket on his bed he wish he could be in right now, but he chose this, he chose to be here. His blonde hair whipped around his face harshly, but he didnt bother move it out of his eyes he could still see the destination ahead of him.
The kingdom looking like a bright star the fell to the ground. He used to love sitting and watching the lights of the kingdom at night flicker like a fallen star that still had its glow. The small smile he had on his face fell when his mind reminded him of the tragedy a month ago.
The night was cold and dark and that couldn't resemble how he was feeling right now. Anger, resentment, betrayed flowed through his heart. He wanted revenge.
The swords were already shined and ready for blood, arrows sharpened to the point, and potions made to kill the second it envelopes you. Months of preparation was right there next to him, ready to be finally used.
He wanted revenge for his best friend.
He left the kingdom for an hour grabbing every weapon he had before finding a place he used to go with his best friend.
----------------
"The kingdom looks beautiful!" You said while standing up in the tall grass.
Purpled had taken you to a far away spot out of the dsmp kingdom just for fun.
"I know, I come here often when I want to clear my head." Purpled said while sitting down in the hill letting the grass tickle his skin.
It was the middle of the say and almost sun down. You two had hiked up away from the kingdom and up a semi huge hill that gave a great view of the lights.
"How did you find this place?" You smiled to the boy sitting down to the side of you.
"Just was hiking I guess!" He laughed. "Well I was looking for more caves outside of the kingdom and stood on this hill, and looked back and saw the beautiful view."
"Now this is your spot now?" You smiled and nodded.
"I mean it's our spot now. You're the only other person who knows about it." Purpled motioned for his friend to sit down and you did.
"Great." You smiled at him and he shared that smile.
"Great."
------------------
He finally stood up from his spot on the hill and made his way back to the kingdom, weapons at his mercy and ready to be used.
The walk back to the kingdom was long, but he wasnt in a rush. He just wanted to keep his mind calm before he finally faced the man who he wanted to kill. The man whos blood should be on his arrows and swords he just sharpened for this occasion.
He walks with purpose and in stride. He always does, he was always busy around the kingdom. Making something new or not even saying what he was doing, no one would want to cross his path because no one would want to know what trouble he was gettng himself into. But they always knew he would come put alive in the end.
He walked along the prime path keeping his gaze forward. He sped up his walk trying to get to the place he needs to go faster to get this feeling out of his body. Sadly him staring straight ahead made him bump shoulders with someone passing by. He didn't have the time to look back and stop, but a familiar voice made him stop.
"Hey! Watch where the fuck you are going!"
Damn it.
He tried to walk away, but he heard the footsteps get closer and the protests get louder.
"Hey asshole! You know Im talking to you Purpled?! Stop!"
"What do you want Quackity?!"
"Damn it took that long for you to turn around?!" The scarred man laughed as the blonde started at him blankly.
Quackity had a small smirk on his face before he looked around to make sure no one else is spying on them. Quackity chuckled while crossing his arms looking at the impatient blonde infront of him.
"What. Do. You. Want. Shouldn't you be in Las Nevadas?" He scoffed.
"I should! I should. But I heard about your little predicament." Quackity still had that taunting smile on his face.
"I wouldn't call it a predicament I would call it a missi-"
"A mission. Yeah I know, that's what you call every thing now-a-days." Quackity shook his head in disbelief. "Even when your best friend dies..Its a damn misson."
Purpled stayed quiet and let the older man talk. He didn't need to hear this, but at least this will hunor him before his miss- plans.
"Its a shame! It really is. But you know what Purpled?" Quackity's voice got quieter.
"If this is about Las Nevadas, you should leave. I have more pressing matters to attend to."
"I bet you do." Quackity looked away from the blonde. "Its a shame that you dont even know where Dream is to kill him."
--------------
"Y/N! Get out of my way!"
"I will not let you hurt him!"
"Get out of his way!"
Purpled was injured, pretty badly at that. He was clutching his side in pain where a arrow had struck him. His face had long cuts across it, and so did his body. The only way you could see the cuts along his body is because the cuts Dream had made tore through his clothes.
Purpled looked like he couldn't stand back up. You didn't want to know why they were fighting so brutally, you only showed up when Dream stood above Purpled about to take the final blow, sword clutched tightly in-between his hands.
The only thing you saw was that and you ran in the middle of the two blocking Dream from doing anymore damage to Purpled. Now the two men are yelling at you to get out of Dream's way.
"You're really stubborn aren't you?" Dream dropped his sword to his side, but still kept that tight grip on the handle.
"For my friends, yeah I am." You said with your head held high looking at the masked man.
"Y/N." Purpled groaned behind you. "Go, please."
You turned your whole body around to face him. He couldn't get up, still kneeling on the ground he tried to move and stand to his full height. It was impossible for him to do so. You saw a keep gash where his knee is. Dream must've stabbed his knee, through his knee.
"You stay down! I can handle this!"
"Where is your armor?! Huh?! Where is all your gear?! You're vulnerable!"
"You are too!"
"As much as this pains me to see the two bestest friends fight, Move." Dream said sternly while placing a rough hand on your shoulder.
"Dream get your hand off of them!" Purpled yelled.
"At this point you cannot tell me what to do." Dream chuckled. "This state that you're in! Its pathetic!"
Purpled hung his head low while Dream kept on running his mouth.
"Y/N! Do you even want to know why we're even fighting?! Its all his-"
"I dont want to know. Frankly I dont care just stop hurting him." Your words came out calmer than you wanted because you really were vulnerable at this point.
"I haven't even finished the job, my misson." Dream scoffed.
"If you wanto to finish "your mission" go through me first." You said while finding Purpled's sword on the ground next to him and gripping it tightly just like Dream.
"Y/N stop this!"
"Fine then."
Dream had grabbed your shoulder again so hard it could leave a bruise and brought your shoulders forward. You didn't have any time to react and the next thing you saw when you looked down was his sword going through your stomach. It hurt to breathe, and you felt yourself coughing up blood onto the grass beneath you. He had finally let go of your shoulder and you fell to your side letting your body go numb.
"NO DREAM!" Purpled tried to reach you, but ended up getting kicked down by Dream.
"Im done with you now. Its no point. I thought killing you would be better, but watching you suffer after your best friend gets killed is good enough for me."
"My mission is done, and they were right. You are vulnerable."
-------------
"Where is he then?" He asked trying not to sound rushed.
"You would like to know huh? Well Let me tell you about this thing I have first. I mean if you want to know where Dream is for your little mission" Quackity proposed and he stayed quiet waiting for the older man's response.
"I have this book, it was given to me by an old ally of mine. It has all of the lives of everyone in it. The whole book is filled with names and if they are dead or not-"
"Where are you going with this?" He interrupted.
"Im saying that not everyone knows of Y/N's death. Its not any big headlines. So I read this book often and I so happened to see their name and underneath it, it said they were dead."
"And?"
"I have a proposal-"
"No." He started to walk away leaving Quackity to stand and yell at the younger one.
"Oh come on! Dont you want your friend back?!" Quackity yelled as the other walked away briskly.
"Fine! You'll owe me!"
----------
It was over. He ended up back on the same hill again, but this time it was pitch black and the only light available was the light in the stars and the light from the kingdom. He could hear faint noises of mobs in the distance, but they didn't dare come near him.
His eyes started to water and his vision began to get blurry. He didn't kill Dream, he couldn't. That's not what you would've wanted.
Dream was right all along. He was vulnerable, he was always vulnerable.
He closed his eyes letting tears drop onto his cheeks. He was upset that he couldn't fulfill his mission, the one thing he knew he could do for the one he misses the most in life. He failed. And now Dream is sitting somewhere, he didn't even take Quackity's proposal. He didn't even know what Dream was to kil him.
Still, even if he wasnt discouraged, he would've still tried to hunt Dream down. He didn't care if it took him months to a year, he didn't care if it killed him. One day.
He looked out to the kingdom once more with eyes full of tears. The kingdom now looking like a ball of light and not as detailed.
"Purpled?"
He sighed brushing the call off, he was hearing things.
"Hey, Purpled."
He shook his head with his hands cupping his face. He was convincing himself that his head was playing tricks on him because there is no one that could be out here at this time.
"I thought I would get a warmer welcome than this."
He felt the grass moving beside him and he quickly turned his head to his right where he saw the person he wanted to the most. You.
It was you, but you had a white streak in your hair, your stomach still had a bigger scar still on it. It was you, it was finally you. He hesitated before reaching out to hug you, there was some tall grass in between you two but it didn't matter, he had you back. You had to feel tears fall on your back because he was crying, he tried to keep his sobs quiet but they slipped out.
"Are you okay?" He asked while sniffing.
"Im alive now. Thats progress." You responded hesitantly before continuing. "I wanted to stay dead. I mean it had to be my time right? I was in hell and I don't know why. Why was I there?!"
You started sobbing on his shirt as well and you took a big breath before starting to talk again.
"And then I just showed up not that far from here. It was horrible, like an out of body experience. I dont know who brought me back either! But now I found you here and Im okay enough." You smiled with tiredness in your eyes as you pulled away from the long hug.
"I tried to kill Dream." He confessed.
"Because of me?"
He hummed in agreement "I couldn't, thats not what you would've wanted."
"Why would you know what I wanted?" You asked the blonde. "I was dead for a month."
"You wanted me to kill him?" He asked with a bit of excitement in his voice.
"Consider this a new mission." You smiled while standing up and him following suit.
"My mission." He whispered while looking at the ground. "It'll take a while, but we'll get him. I promise."
You two locked pinkie fingers together to seal the promise. A promise that would be sealed to the end of time. No matter how long or who dies, he never fails a mission.
"Oh! Also, I have a note for you." You handed him a small torn note that you found lying next to you when you reappeared.
--------------
Dear Purpled,
You're welcome. They're here now.
Remember that favor I never got to ask you?
I suppose you should listen to me now.
Q
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dokoni-mo · 3 years
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Nights Like These || All for One x F!Reader
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Summary: You were his favorite.
SFW // not fluff but not angst
Word Count: 2802
WARNINGS: obsessive behavior, toxic behavior/mindsets, manipulation, possessive behavior, all for one is evil as usual, fear tactics, some sensual touching, kisses, mentions of death if you squint, swearing, age gap relationship of you squint, but reader is depicted to be in their late 20s, also the fact I also didn't proofread this one lmao (pls forgive me I was working on this at like 3 am).
A/N: This takes place before AFO became the potato man. This is my take on how he would be like in a "relationship". If you want some PRIME AFO content, however, AND ARE THE AGE OF 18 OR OVER, go check out @nonobadcat 's story A Hypnotic Nightmare. It's one of my favs atm (also, badcat, if you're reading this, i haven't forgotten about the fanart! i've just had a lot on my plate bc of the end of school. im terribly sorry if it seemed like i left you hanging).
~~
You hated armored black vans.
Ever since meeting him you knew exactly what they meant.
They would come to you when you least expected it, and often when you really didn't want them to. You could be anywhere in the world, and one would always find a way to roll up next to you. If you tried to outwalk them, they would just drive faster. If you pretended to ignore them, they would cut you off in your tracks.
Persistent little shits.
Just like him.
This time, it was late into the night when one rolled up next to you. You hadn't seen one in some days beforehand, and was relishing in that fact when the dread-vehicle rumbled up next to you. You had just gotten done doing some late-night grocery shopping for yourself, looking decent but in no way perfect. Sighing through your nose, you gave the tinted windows of the van the glare of your life, trying in vain attempt to get it to just piss off.
Even though that tactic never worked before, it would never stop you from trying.
The van pulled up to the curb next to you and slowed to a stop. Seeing as there was no way you could run or try to ignore it now, you stopped in your tracks, clenching your plastic grocery bags tighter. A moment later, the van rolled it's driver's side window down, revealing the driver to you. You didn't recognize this one; it wasn't one in his normal rotation.
You wondered if he killed one of the other ones, and this one was the replacement.
Looking into the eyes of the driver, you shot him another glare, your face morphing into a frown. This didn't seem to phase the man, however, since he just stared back at you with a blank expression.
You knew you weren't that threatening, but, come on. At least show something.
"What is it?" you questioned the man, your voice firm and serious. Although you already knew the answer to that, you prayed to whoever was listening that it would be a different answer this time.
"He wants to see you."
No dice.
You let out another sigh through your nose, this time more frustrated and annoyed than the last one.
"I just saw him the other day," you tried to bargain, "and I have ice cream in here. Can it wait until tomorrow?"
The driver shook his head, "Sorry, miss. He wants you now."
Your face assumed a deeper frown. It wasn't often that these drivers made it known to you how persistent he was being in seeing you. This made a lump form in the bottom of your stomach. What did he want this time? Another date? Quality time? Or just to remind you of who you belonged to?
You hoped it was one of the former two.
Looking from side to side nervously, you swallowed the lump in your throat before speaking again, "Can I at least put my groceries in my apartment first?"
The driver shook his head, "We can get someone to do it for you, miss. But we need to leave. Now."
Damn, this driver really meant business.
Finally admitting defeat, you slowly took a few steps towards the van, watching as the large, jet-black doors rolled itself open for you. Leaning down, you set your bags on the clean, vacuumed floor of the van, ducking down and pushing yourself inside next. The driver watched you in the rear-view mirror, making sure that you sat down and buckled your seatbelt. Once you were safe in the backseat, he shut the door to the van and pulled out into the street again, driving noticeably careful.
A soft sense of dread washing over you, you leaned up against the van door and planted your elbow on the armrest, resting your chin in your palm. Not feeling up for friendly chat with the man driving you, you fixated your gaze out the window, watching as the neon lights of Japan rushed by you.
You wondered which location you would be at today.
He seemed to have spots everywhere across the world.
You hoped it was the Tokyo one. That one had your favorite food and view.
Hugging yourself closer to the door, you tried to ignore the dread winding up in your stomach. You tried your best to just focus on how pretty the lights looked at night, but couldn't help but have your mind linger back to the racing thoughts that plagued your head.
You wished your friend had never introduced you to his stupid fucking cult. He would deny over and over that it was a cult, but it was a cult. You had been quirkless for so long, and content being so all your life. But, when your friend told you about the man she met that could give you your very own quirk, you would be lying if you said you weren't intrigued.
Biggest mistake of your entire fucking life.
~~
Alas to you, the driver didn't take you to the Tokyo location. It ended up being the Osaka location. You felt rather disappointed by this.
The driver was at least nice enough to help you out of the car and escort you into the hands of your body guards for the night. The guards quickly surrounded you, almost suffocating you by how close they were. After relaying the message that you had arrived, the guards practically drug you into the tall, looming building.
You wondered when the next time you could go outside would be.
Going through the doors, you were greeted with the familiar sight of clean, shiny marble floors, your feet clacking against them as they always did. Everything about the building was ornate but simple, reminding you of some fancy hotel.
It was so fucking obnoxious.
Only one dude and occasionally yourself lived here. And not even full time.
It make you frown.
Eventually, the guards and yourself made your way to the elevators. When one eventually came down (it didn't take long because you were most likely some of the only people in the building), all of you packed in the elevator like a fucking clown car. You were shoulder-to-shoulder with the much taller guards, suffocating on their cologne.
The dead silence in the elevator made you wanna puke.
~~
The guards left you once you were at the door.
You were now all alone in the hallway, the tall, dark, looming door before you. Your fingertips were trembling, yet you didn't know if it was out of fear or anticipation.
He probably already knew you were here. Why did you even have to go through this step? Just for his sick kicks?
Most likely.
You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
You swallowed and closed your eyes, taking a few deep breaths in and out of your nose. You had to give yourself a pep talk before you could lift up your hand, curling your knuckles to knock on the door.
You stopped before you could knock even once. If there was any time to run, this is it. If you could just-
No. It's impossible.
God how you knew it was impossible.
No matter where you went, no matter what you did, he seemed to always know.
You've seen him angry before. It ran shivers down your spine and made you contemplate whether or not there was an afterlife or not.
You didn't want to know how he was like when he was pissed off. Especially if it was directed towards you.
And, you knew, trying to get away from him was a sure as fuck way to royally piss him off.
Taking in one last deep breath, you put on your brave face and knocked on the door, feeling your dread become almost overwhelming in your gut.
You wet your lips before you spoke.
"It's me."
...
Silence.
Your head perked up at the nothingness that greeted you back. Was he not here anymore? Did he leave for a different place without telling you?
You opened your mouth to say something again, but quickly shut it again.
Could you... leave? Go home?
This was definitely a first.
As soon as your excitement welled up, however, you were quickly shot down again from the deep voice behind the door.
"Come in."
Fuck.
Squaring your shoulders and putting on your bravest face, you gingerly opened the door and stepped through, leaning your back against the wood as you shut it again.
Why did you do this to yourself? So willingly walk into the lion's den?
It didn't take you long to remember.
Fear.
Looking inside the room, the lighting was moody to say the least. Barely anything was turned on, and it was so deafeningly quiet, sans the sounds of the city below and the hum of the AC.
Scanning the room with your eyes, you felt your stomach do a flip when you landed on the man of the hour.
The man who had taken over your life for the past three years.
Him.
Shigaraki. Or, as he was known by everyone who wasn't you, All for One.
Probably the most feared man in Japan. Hell, the world even.
Christ on a fucking bike.
He was seated on the couch that faced the door, his usual sly smirk on his face. One of his legs was crossed over the other, and he seemed to had shed his black coat long ago. His crimson eyes bore right into the very fiber of your being, right into your very soul. His presence was so fucking overwhelming it made you feel like you couldn't breathe. The amount of power that dripped off that man was uncanny.
It always made you wonder what he wanted with quirkless little you.
Unable to maintain eye contact with him for any longer, you dropped your gaze to the floor, your back still pressed against the door. Even though you couldn't see him anymore, you could feel his eyes on you, raking up and down your body.
You prayed that this night went by quickly.
"You're late, little one." He said to you, making your shoulders tense up.
"I..." you began, your nervousness painfully obvious as you brushed your hair behind your ear, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be."
All for One let out a hum, and you could practically fucking feel his smirk grow bigger from across the room.
You wondered if he knew that you were only half telling the truth, or if he was just that delusional.
After a moment, he spoke again.
"Come into the light, darling. Let me get a good look at you."
Swallowing the lump in your throat, you hesitated for a brief second, your fingertips twitching against the wood of the door. Seeing no possible way out, you decided it was best to just do what he said. Pushing yourself off the door, you took small, timid steps into the light, keeping your gaze down on the floor. Awkwardly trying to figure out what you should do with your hands, you decided on clasping them in front of you, picking at the skin around your nails.
You could really feel his eyes on you now.
He looked you over for what felt like an eternity before he said something else, making your eyes flicker back up to him.
"There's no need to be shy, my dear," he said, sensing how nervous you were, "There's nothing to be concerned about. You know I would never harm you."
You wanted to snort out a laugh, but decided against it. Yes, he had never hurt you before, but you doubted it was out of his realm of capability.
Not knowing what to respond with, you simply just nodded, turning your attention back to your hands.
Shigaraki continued to stare at you for a good long while, his red eyes lingering on your cute face and nervous eyes.
Fucking hell you were just too adorable.
After a good second, All for One lifted up his hand, making you look up at him. He was holding his palm out to you, his usual smirk on his face.
"Come here." He said.
Shit, he was getting serious tonight.
Your cheeks tinting a faint pink, you forced your feet to raise up and make you walk across the room. Once you were close enough, you put your hand into his, watching it as it was nearly swallowed by the sheer size of his palm. Knowing exactly what he wanted, you slipped yourself in between his long, thick legs and sat back into his lap. Your side was nuzzled into the crook of his armpit, his strong arm wrapping itself around your waist to keep you in place. Just like he liked, you rested your head against All for One's shoulder, gently lying your hands across his broad chest. This seemed to please him greatly, since he put his other hand on your lower thigh, gently rubbing circles into the side of your knee with his thumb.
You must really be fucking insane.
Gently, Shigaraki pressed a gentle kiss into your hair, mumbling out a quiet good girl in the process.
You couldn't stop the pink dust from spreading across your cheeks.
"How was your day today, darling?" He asked you, the rumble of his voice in his chest loud in your ears.
You hummed before speaking.
"It was okay..." you said, feeling the hand on your side gently stroking up and down.
"You had a lot to do, didn't you?" He asked, making you glance up at him.
Of course he fucking knew about your goddamned errands and job.
"Yeah..." you said, "I was expecting to go back home and chill the rest of the night, but..."
Shigaraki let out a chuckle at this. You didn't have to finish your thought for him to know what you meant.
"Oh, I'm sorry, little one." He said, pressing another kiss to your temple, "I know you must be tired."
You nodded in response, maybe a bit too eagerly.
"I just couldn't bear another second without you, darling." He continued, tracing circles on your thigh this his pointer and middle finger, "I just had to have my special girl with me tonight."
You shifted your weight in his lap, looking up at him, "Did something happen?"
Shigaraki chuckled at this, reaching up and brushing the hair out of your face, "Let's just say I had some... family issues tonight, my dear."
Family?
Shigaraki had family?
This was definitely a first.
You couldn't help but to be nosy.
"Family?" you asked.
"Oh, nothing for you to be concerned about, my sweet girl." He said, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.
"You never told me you had family." You pressed, not wanting to let the subject go.
"You never needed to know, small one. Besides, it would be too dangerous for you to meet them anyhow."
"Dangerous?"
"There's a possibly they would try to take you from me."
"I highly doubt you would let that happen."
He chuckled, "As clever as always, my darling."
"What are their names?"
"Let's move on from his, my love."
"But I-"
"Are you hungry, dear? I can have someone fetch you something."
"Shigaraki, I just-"
"I said no."
A shiver went down your spine and you were quick to shut your mouth. You knew what that tone meant. It meant shut up or you get a punishment.
You always just chose to shut up.
Seemingly pleased at your compliance, Shigaraki assumed his usual smirk again and planted a kiss on your cheek, rubbing more small circles into your side.
"Have I told you how radiant you look tonight, my dear?" He asked you.
Not feeling in the mood to talk anymore, you just shook your head no.
"You always look gorgeous to me, my dear. Every single piece of you."
Pulling you closer to his chest, he lifted up your chin and looked deep into your eyes.
"My special girl. My favorite."
Closing the distance between the two of you, All for One pressed his lips to yours, stealing your breath away. His kisses were always just like him: strong, confident, and dominating.
Kissing Shigaraki always filled you with a whirling of emotions. Perhaps it was because you were tired that night, or perhaps it was because of the air, but you allowed yourself to fully enjoy his kiss. The feeling of his hands on you, the feeling of how small he made you feel, the feeling of his power radiating off his skin...
He always had this affect on you. When you were apart from him, you found it hard to love him.
But, when you were together...
you found it hard to stop.
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reidgraygubler · 4 years
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kiwi(matthew gray gubler/fem!reader)
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Title: kiwi
@driving-wild​ requested: Can I have a MGG one shot pls? y/n works on CM and has known MGG for a long time. They had a one night stand that they haven’t spoken about and y/n is pregnant. One of the other actors brings it up in front of whole cast including MGG? Idk if that makes sense aha thank you
Couple: matthew gray gubler/make up artist!fem!reader
Category: semi-spicy fluff, some angst 
Content Warning: swearing, allusions to sex, heavy making out, mentions of failed contraceptive (broken condom), verbal arguments (includes shouting), talks about sex, mentions of abortion, talks of co-parenting, light drinking, mega d-bag matthew at some points,
Word Count: 4775
Summary:  Reader and Matthew have a night in together. After their escapade together, Matthew ignores reader… Until she tells him some life changing news.
a/n: i kinda misread the “they haven’t spoken about it” and took it as “matthew ignores the reader”... but i think that works… low-key based off kiwi by harry styles (but not really…). This one-shot was originally going to contain smut, but i low-key was struggling with it, so I nixed the smut. im sure i’ll post smut again soon. idk why i struggled with smut this time… anyways, thanks for the love! check out my masterlist!
{***}{***}{***}
AJ>Me & 7 others: Girls night! Mulligans at 8! 
So, that’s where I am… After a long day at work, I go out with all the people I spent 12+ hours with. I lifted my glass to my lips to take a long sip. My friends were talking about something that I didn’t care about. Honestly, I never really cared about anything they talked about. It was all mostly the same old gossip from the day or from their lives. I was used to hearing it, I was a makeup artist after all.
I glanced at everyone at the table before looking around the place. A familiar person was sitting at the bar, a small glass of bourbon in hand. He was hunched over the counter as he looked at his drink. 
“Matthew?” I whispered, squinting at the man at the bar. AJ said something before loudly excusing herself from the table. I, again, didn’t really hear what she said, I was too busy looking across the bar.
I’ve been working on set for several years, nearly 8, as one of the few makeup artists. I was ever so blessed to be placed with Matthew and Kirsten (as well as Shemar before he left). I suppose ever since I started, Matthew and I became best friends. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I had the smallest crush on him. Have you seen the man?!
“I’ll be right back!” I shouted as I looked at Kirsten. She looked at me and gave me a thumbs-up before going back to her previous conversation. 
I didn’t bother grabbing my drink before I stood up. I was all done drinking it anyway. And with that, I quietly and quickly made my way to the bar. 
“Hey,” I spoke standing beside him. “What are you doing here, Matthew?” I languidly leaned against the counter beside him. I held my drink close to me as I looked at him. He looked up from the counter and smiled back at me. “It’s weird not seeing you in a makeup chair or on set,” I chuckled lightly as I leaned closer to him. It honestly wasn’t that weird seeing him off set. I mean, we’ve hung out together outside of work. He is one of my long time friends, who I would trust with my life. But a lot of people on set would trust Matthew with their lives. 
“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that weird,” he looked at me with a cheeky grin. I returned his grin with a somewhat flirty smile. Well, as flirty as I could let it be. The level of intoxication I was feeling was borderline drunk, teetering on tipsy and buzzed. “Same reason you’re out,” he looked down at his drink before taking a sip.
“You’re out for girls’ night?” I asked, my volume getting louder as I spoke. My body was suddenly gravitating closer to his, my hand grasping his upper arm to steady myself. “Because that’d just be crazy if you were!” I shouted as I leaned closer to his face. Matthew turned his head to look at me better. 
“No, no, just came out with some friends,” his smile became genuine as he looked at me. I pulled my hand off his arm and steadied myself against the bar beside me. “And, my brother too. He fucked off to the bathroom though,” he waved behind us towards the vague area of the bathrooms.
“Ah, very nice! ‘Ave you seen AJ?!” I stumbled slightly closer to him so there were just a few inches between us. I leaned forward and pressed my body against his. “She came with me but I can’t find her,” I looked up at his face. Matthew raised an eyebrow before helping me stand straighter. 
“Yeah, yeah I think I saw her a little bit ago,” his grip on my arm got a little tighter as he steadied me. “But, I’m not sure where she went to from there,” he looked around at the people around us. “Bathroom, I think,” he added. I nodded, even though I already knew that.
“Eh, whatever, who needs her,” I smiled as I rested my hand on his arm, “Can you take me outside, it’s hot in here,” I looked up at his face and felt my face warm up. It could be one of three things. 1) The alcohol in my system was starting to make me hot. 2) The temperature of the bar was actually starting to rise due to the many people crowding inside. Or, 3) Matthew Gray Gubler was actually starting to get me hot and bothered. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a mix of the three, the latter being the main cause.
“Of course, you’re looking a little flush,” he nodded, wrapping an arm around my body. I looked up at him as he guided me towards the front door of the bar. “Did you bring your purse in with you or anything?” he asked, looking down at me then around the bar to find where I had come from.
“Nah, it’s in the car,” I waved him and my purse off. Matthew nodded before finally taking me outside. The hot air from the bar and the cool air of the outside hit me all at once and confused my body. 
“Fuck it was hot in there,” I wiped my face with the back of my hand as I stood up straight.  Matthew glanced down at me as he brought me over towards the seating area the bar had. The partying was inside, as opposed to the chilly outside. 
“Should I call a cab?” Matthew asked, looking down at me once I was sitting down. I rested my elbow on the table before resting my chin in my hand. 
“Yeah, that’d be great, I can always come back for my car tomorrow,” I looked to the parking lot and towards my car. Matthew nodded as he pulled his phone from his pocket and stepped away from me as he was on a call.
I cocked my head to my shoulder and watched as he walked away from me. A smile suddenly grew on my lips as my eyes wandered up and down his backside. Of course, the thought of sleeping with my co-worker has passed my mind before. I’m sure a lot of people have had that thought. 
“20 minutes,” he pointed at me with his phone before he pocketed it. I blinked away the somewhat filthy thoughts I was having before looking up at him. “Do you want me to go home with you?” 
“I’m not drunk, you know,” I watched as he sat across from me, “And, I know how to hold my booze,” I reached across the table to grasp his hand. Matthew looked at me and smiled. 
“I know this,” he laughed lightly as he turned his hand so he could hold my hand, “I’ve seen you drunk before,” he looked down at our hands with a smile. 
“You don’t have to babysit me, Matty G,” I threw my head back in laughter. Matthew looked up at me and shot me a glare at the nickname I so lovingly gave him. 
“Okay, this is true, however… Do you still want me to go home with you?” he smiled at me, already knowing the answer to his question. I let out a deep sigh as I looked at him.
“Yes, Matthew,” I looked back down at the table and muttered. Matthew squeezed my hand, causing me to look up at him. “I’d love it if you came home with me,” I smiled as I leaned over the table to look at him more.
And, after a long twenty-minute wait and casual conversation, a cab pulled into the parking lot. Matthew had a certain cockiness to him as he helped me into the car before getting in beside me.
“You good?” He looked down at me with a small smile. I nodded and looked at my lap. “You look pretty tired,” he chuckled lightly as he moved closer to me.
“Yeah, yeah. Long day, and then late night,” I sighed as I leaned into his side. Matthew laughed as he invited me into his side more and wrapped an arm around me. I looked up at him and smiled. “I hope I didn’t take you away from someone important at the bar,” I whispered as I looked at him. 
“No, no, it’s okay. My friends won’t even notice I left,” he waved off my lame ass apology. I laughed as I sat up a bit.
“That’s a shame,” I sighed and looked down at my lap, “I’d notice if you left,” I looked back up at him with a small smile. He stared at me for a moment. Neither of us had words to say anymore. But the silence between us wasn’t awkward. 
“I would hope you would notice if I left. Then that’d mean the cab door was wide open,” he laughed as he gestured towards the door. I laughed and shook my head. It took me a minute to notice that our faces had drifted closer together. “I appreciate the sentiment though,” he smiled softly. I laughed and nodded. 
I smiled as we stared at each other. Every few seconds Matthew would flick between my eyes and my lips, and I know I was doing the same thing. I definitely did want to kiss him. I’m sure he knows he’s got that kind of effect on people. And if you’ve known him for as long as I have… 
“Please tell me you want the same thing I want,” I spoke so softly. I knew he heard me because a smile slowly grew on his lips. He brought his hand to rest on my cheek before closing the space between us. I hummed against his lips and pushed my hands through his hair, tugging on it lightly.
After a moment he pulled me into his lap, my legs on either side of his waist. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I tried to get closer to his body. His hands were planted firmly on my hips, keeping me in place over every bump the vehicle went over.
“Uhm… We’re at your stop,” the poor driver spoke up. I pulled away from Matthew with wide eyes and a smile on my lips. Matthew returned the smile as he pushed me off his body. 
“Give him a $700 dollar tip. Oh my god,” I whispered as I slipped out of the car. He smiled at me as he pulled out his wallet. I pressed the door shut as I looked into the car. He spoke a few words to the driver before handing him some money. Moments later he slipped out of the car and walked beside me.
“He said to have a very good night,” Matthew looked down at me with a smile. I laughed and nodded. He wrapped an arm around my body and walked close beside me. 
“Oh, I’m sure you will have a very nice night,” I cooed as I poked his nose. He smiled and pulled me closer to his body. I fumbled for my keys, which I was so fortunate to stick in my pockets and not my bag, as we neared the front door.
I fumbled a little bit more as I tried to unlock the door. Matthew’s body was distractingly close to mine. It was impossibly hard to get the damn door unlocked. 
Once the door finally swung open, Matthew and I were already back on each other. He pressed my body against the door and I already struggled to push his coat off. 
“Bedroom,” I pointed towards the stairs, hoping he’d figure it out from there. He nodded, pushing his coat off before picking me up from the knees. I yelped from the surprise before I wrapped my arms around his neck. 
“Careful,” I mumbled as he nearly tripped over the first and second steps. He hummed, pressing his lips to my neck, leaving sloppy kisses on my skin. I dropped my head to the side and allowed him to have more space. My hands found their way into his hair, and my fingers got tangled in the locks at the base of his neck. 
“Which room is yours,” Matthew asked, his voice a low growl in my ear. 
“That way,” I pointed in a vague direction that I hoped he would figure out. After a moment, he pushed a door open with his foot and he muttered something into my ear. It was so incoherent, but I didn’t care.
My fingers struggled to unbutton his shirt but succeeded once we were closer to my bed. And, once he set me down on the bed, I pulled my own shirt off and tossed it to the ground. A smile grew across my lips when I saw that he was shirtless. 
He pushed me back on the bed before hovering over me. I stared up at him before he kissed me.
{***}{***}{***}
“Fuck,” Matthew muttered as he panted. I looked over at him with tired eyes. He had one hand pushed through his hair as he stared at the ceiling. “Fuck,” he muttered again.
“Are… Matthew, are you okay?” I slowly sat up and looked down at him. The way he was sweating looked like glitter in the little bit of light was in the room. “Do you need, like, water or something?” I pushed myself off the bed slowly. 
“Yeah, yeah… Sorry, water would be great,” he looked over at me for half a moment before looking away again. I nodded as I grabbed for a shirt (whether it was mine or Matthew’s, I didn’t care), threw it on, and went to the kitchen.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be quick or not getting the water for him. So, I grabbed two glasses of water and a snack before slowly returning to the bedroom.
Honestly, I was expecting Matthew to still be lying in bed, asleep… Not sitting at the foot of the bed, fully clothed and putting his shoes on. I would have dropped the water if I hadn’t set them on my dresser first.
“What… What are you doing?” I asked as I moved to stand in front of him. He looked up at me, his hair all in his face as he looked at me.
“Going home?” He spoke smoothly before standing back up. I dropped my shoulders. It was now my turn to look back up at him. 
“You’re just going to leave? Just like that? A fucking one night stand?” I scoffed as I watched him straighten his shirt. He turned on his heel and looked at me. “I knew I shouldn’t have…” I sighed deeply and stepped out of his way. “Go ahead then, just leave,” I looked at him with a certain disgust. His eyes flashed with an apologetic look before he left my room and my home altogether. 
I stared at my bed for a moment before grabbing a blanket from the closet and made way to the living room. God knows I’m not sleeping in my bed tonight.
{***}{***}{***}
Something was… Wrong. And, no, no it wasn’t the fact that I fucked one of my best friends. No… Something was wrong with me. I felt off. Maybe it was the fact that he hasn’t said a word to me since I told him to leave however many weeks ago.
Or maybe it was because I’ve been sitting on the floor in my bathroom, staring at the timer on my phone waiting for a timer to hit 0 so I could find out either the best news in my entire life or possibly the worst news of my entire life. It honestly depends entirely on how you look at the situation at hand.
So, when the timer on my phone beeped, I looked down at the object in hand with wide eyes. I couldn’t tell if I was crying or not, but there was an unwelcome dampness on my cheeks that was bothering me. No, no. Why would the tears be what’s bothering me when the stupid thing in hand was telling me something I didn’t want to know.
Pregnant…
Okay, okay, it’s not the end of the world. Could be worse… Maybe? I couldn’t even tell you why this was the end of the world. Oh, wait… No, I could, I definitely could tell you. Again, it depends on how you look at the situation...
I’m pregnant with my best friend and co-worker’s baby. Yeah. Yeah, that is pretty bad. He isn’t even talking to me. I don’t think he’s talked to me since that night we slept together.
“What the hell am I going to tell Matthew,” I whispered, staring at the pregnancy test with wide eyes.  
{***}{***}{***}
“Yeah, ever since that one got knocked up” AJ laughed as she nodded towards me. I looked at her with wide eyes and shook my head. Matthew was standing right behind her, considering he had just entered the room. "Ever since you said you’re pregnant we’ve had to postpone girls’ night,”
“AJ,” I muttered as I looked down at the ground. She looked over at me with wide eyes before looking over her shoulder to finally see Matthew.
“Oh, hey, Gubes,” she muttered as she looked at him. I finally looked up at him with wide eyes. He pushed past AJ and everyone around him before coming to stand in front of me.
“Hi, Matthew,” I whispered, keeping my eyes off his face. Actually, I looked anywhere but his face. I didn’t want to look at him at all. Mostly because if I looked at him I’d have to face the horrors that have been my last month.
The group around us began their quiet murmurs to each other, and they’d consisted of me and Matthew and our incredibly unexpected news if that’s what it could be called. I wanted to look around at everyone, silently telling them off. I wished AJ or someone would disperse the group, but I knew no one would leave. They wanted to stay for the drama that was about to unfold.
“You’re pregnant?” His voice was stern and low as he talked to me. He was standing right in front of me, blocking the conversation from everyone in the room. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Do we have to do this right now,” I asked, keeping my voice low. I knew everyone would be listening to our conversation. There was no stopping that, or the conversation that was about to happen between Matthew and I.
"Yes, I think we do have to do this right now." He returned stepping closer to me. I looked up at him and felt a familiar wetness on my cheeks. I quickly wiped my eyes as I looked around the room. Everyone was staring at us, trying to listen in on the drama. 
I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my make-up room. A slight commotion came from the crowd as we left the room. I’m sure they were all asking AJ what the problem was. Of course, I told AJ, she’s the only person, other than Matthew, I would hang out with from set. And, of course, I told other people on set. AJ’s just the person who knows information I didn’t share with everyone else.
After I pressed the door shut, I slowly turned to face Matthew. He was still standing, looking at me with his hands in his pockets. The expression on his face only stressed me out more. He was angry, pissed. The air was so tense, I swear it was suffocating. There was no longer a calm before this storm. There hasn’t been a calm since I slept with Matthew. Just a hurricane of stress and shock and disappointment. 
“When I asked if we had to do this right now, I meant did we have to do it in front of everyone we know?” I spoke in a harsh whisper as I stepped to him. I pushed him so he was sitting in the chair and still looking up at me. “Because, now we have to go back out there and deal with them when we’re done talking,” I turned around so I was facing the counter that held all my tools and make-up.
“Why… Why didn’t you tell me? Why did I have to find out through AJ?” Matthew looked at me. I looked at the counter, trying to keep my focus on my job instead of the situation at hand. I was having too many thoughts at once and being interrogated by Matthew didn’t help at all. “Is it mine?” he asked. I honestly didn’t like the insinuation in his accusatory tone. That insinuation being that I sleep with so many men (and/or women). The last man I slept with was, in fact, Matthew. 
“Yes! It is yours! You’re the last person I slept with! So there’s no one else it could belong to. I don’t sleep around in my spare time,” I scoffed as I looked at all the brushes in front of me. “Idiot,” I muttered to myself. I was calling myself an idiot, not Matthew. Granted, we’re both the idiots in this situation, unfortunately.
“Okay, that still doesn’t answer my question… Why didn’t you tell me?” Matthew’s tone was annoyed. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.
“Because you’ve been ignoring me,” I shrugged again, picking up the bigger makeup brush. I grabbed the closest pallet, not even caring if it was the one I needed or not, and started to distract myself. “Because you won't answer my calls or texts… you've been ignoring me here! I didn't know what to do," I tried to keep my voice low, just in case anyone walked by and heard my shouting. “I didn’t expect you to be the type of guy to sleep with someone and then ignore them, Matthew,” I scoffed as I turned around to face him. I kept my eyes down on the pallet as I moved the brush across his face.  
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he insisted. I had to hold back my laughter as I shook my head.
“It sure felt like it to me,” I muttered as I looked up at him. “I’m sorry you had to find out through AJ, okay? It was hard to talk to you when you always requested Marnie to do your make-up, or you go talk to someone else the second you see me approaching you…” I scoffed and shook my head.
“How long have you known?” Matthew looked up at me, his voice was soft as he spoke. It took everything in me to not feel bad. I shouldn’t feel bad. He was the asshole in this situation. 
“A month,” I whispered as I tossed the brush to the counter behind me. “Month and a half… I don’t know. When did we sleep together? Because it was a few weeks after that,” I shrugged as I looked down at the ground. Matthew looked up at me with wide eyes, clearly more shocked about this news. “I tried telling you, Matthew. It was just hard when you…” 
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he pressed. I dropped my shoulders and stared at him.
“I swear to god if you say that you weren’t ignoring… I might punch on you in the stomach,” I stated matter-of-factly. Matthew looked at me with wide eyes and nodded slowly as he took in my words. “And, I’m like a month, maybe two months, pregnant… Don’t fucking fight me,” I spoke, but made sure I ended my statement with a smile. 
“Okay, okay,” Matthew raised his hands as some sort of surrender, “I was ignoring you.. I was… I don’t typically sleep with my best friends,” he looked at me as he lowered his hands. I stared at him with a pointed expression on my face. “I just wasn’t sure what happened. I didn’t know if that’d ruin our friendship. I love my friendship with you. And, if fucking you fucked over my friendship with you,” he looked at me with a sort of sadness in his eyes. “It turns out I did fuck up becau-”
“Hold on… Do you regret sleeping with me?” I cut him off, feeling sudden ball anxiety in my stomach. 
“What?! No! That’s not what I said! Or… Or what I meant, even!” Matthew half-shouted, and it made me jump back. Once he realized that he scared me, he instantly softened and became apologetic. “I don’t regret sleeping with you. I was just scared that I was going to mess up,” his voice softened as he spoke. 
“Mess up,” I scoffed and shook my head, “Mess up what? I got pregnant! Was that a worry that you had? Or… Or...”
“I didn’t want to lose our friendship. That’s how I was worried I’d mess up.” He lowered his voice. I stared at him and dropped my shoulders. “And… Obviously, I didn’t want or mean for you to get pregnant,” he whispered. I swallowed roughly and wiped my eyes. God, I hate that crying was a thing and that it keeps happening. I’m happy it was quiet for a minute. No shouting or arguing. Just silence. "I just don't understand how it happened," Matthew mumbled as I turned to grab a different brush. I involuntarily rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"Oh, I don't know… maybe it's because we had sex or something," I said under my breath. He looked up at me with mild shock in his eyes. I dropped my hand to my sides as I looked at him. I tossed the brush back to the counter behind me. “God sometimes I forget that you’re not actually Spencer Reid and just you,” I whispered as I placed my hands on his cheeks. He looked up at me with innocent eyes. “You should know condoms don’t always work,” I stared at him with wide eyes. He looked up at me with a somewhat excited, yet exhausted look in his eye. “Especially if you keep them tucked in your wallet,” I gently patted his cheeks before pulling them away from his face.
“Are you… Are you going to keep it,” Matthew asked, keeping his voice low as he tested the waters with his questions. I sighed deeply as I leaned against the counter behind me.
“Was planning on it,” I glanced at his face as I spoke. The way he shifted in his seat made me a little nervous, and I couldn’t tell you why. “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with it… I won’t, like, berate you for money or ruin your life or anything,” I shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest. Matthew looked up at me with wide eyes.
“Of course I want to be in its life, don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. I could feel some of the tension in my shoulders and body slip away at his words. I was, in all honesty, prepared to do the whole single parenting thing. Even though I didn’t want to. I think I was more unprepared for Matthew to say he’d be a part of the kid’s life. 
“You’re not just saying that?” I swallowed roughly as I looked at him. He laughed lightly and shook his head. 
“I’m not just saying that. I promise,” he finally stood up and looked down at me, “Sorry that I was ignoring you. And… Sorry I got you, well… You know,” he gestured to my stomach. I smiled as I placed a hand on my almost showing stomach.
“You had me worried I wasn’t a good lay, Matthew,” I laughed lightly and looked up at him. He smiled softly and shrugged. “Okay, okay, co-parenting?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Matthew cocked his head to the side as he placed his hands on both my arms.
“I mean if that’s what you want. Also, whoever said you were the worst lay?” He scoffed with playful laughter. I returned the laughter and shook my head.
“Well, you were a pretty bad lay,” I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest. Matthew just smiled before pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I let my shoulders relax in his embrace.
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peaches-writes · 4 years
Text
a hundred days of seo - of all places (pt. 1)
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member: changbin but this part is dedicated to besties hyunlix bc i said so  wc: 1.2k genre: fluff, angst, enemies to lovers au, roommates to lovers au, childhood friends to lovers au, neighbor au, college au, eventual friends to lovers au, slow burn, some besties seunghyunlix action hehe chapter warnings: explicit language, mentions of alcohol note: anon! the roommates part comes later pinky promise!
readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist 
parts: prologue | part 2 (coming soon!) 
“If you guys really love me—” You groan exaggeratedly with furrowed brows, climbing up your wonkiest living room chair with a broom in your hand and violently tapping the ceiling with its handle end. In front of you, your two best friends are quick to approach closer with their hands outstretched in your direction in surprise and worry—Hyunjin, in particular, going as far as letting out a dramatic cry for you to come down which you simply ignore in your annoyance. “If you idiots care about my well-being, you wouldn’t go to this stupid party or, better yet, you would’ve made him take it somewhere else in the first place!” 
“But it’s Changbin’s birthday! As much as you’re our friend, he’s also our friend.” Felix pouts, cautiously taking two more steps closer to you and placing his hands around the chair’s head rest to steady you. “And it’s not that wild this time, just close friends!”
You fiercely glare down at the younger boy, making him gulp and flinch. Gesturing up to your ceiling and the muffled rock music, you then ask, “This is ‘just close friends’? Whatever, I don’t care! I need to study in peace and this isn’t helping me at all!” You protest, hitting the ceiling a few more times for good measure before jumping down the chair. Felix jumps as well and tightens his grip on the chair, scolding you under his breath for being reckless while Hyunjin finally beelines closer to your side and asks you if you’re okay. “Ya, Hwang Hyunjin, don’t you need to study too? We’re in the same Lit class!” 
“We’ve been studying the whole day, dumbass. We’ve literally studied the whole syllabus down for today! Tsk. Chill...” He points out, dusting off the imaginary dirt off of your pajamas in between warning you not to jump off chairs again. “Anyway, why don’t you just go with us? I saw the invite on your DMs! Just swipe a drink and go or something. You look like you need it—“
You redirect your glare at him who doesn’t waver, clearly your longer friend between him and Felix. “I have other things to do and we’re not friends. That jerk and I, I mean.” You grit stubbornly between your teeth. “He’s just stuck to me like a leech because of you two and Seungmin.”
“What’s worse is that he’s my neighbor starting this semester,” You quickly add before Hyunjin could argue back with another one of his bratty remarks. “I’ve seriously had enough of this guy. I’m definitely not giving myself more headache to go on his stupid birthday party!”
“But it’s free drinks?” Felix tries this time with a raised brow, making you slap a hand to your forehead.
“No. I already told you: the drinks aren’t worth it if it’s him offering.” You shake your head firmly, groaning and rolling your eyes when the muffled music intensifies above your heads as if in dramatic cue. 
“Why aren’t you even friends in the first place?” Hyunjin huffs, crossing his arms as if challenging you. “Seungmin won’t say anything, Changbin always changes the subject, and you’re always mad whenever we do as much as inhale to say Changbin’s name.”
The question sets you off even more, making you groan. “Just because! I really don’t like him, that’s all you need to know!” Sighing in defeat, you then push the two away from you and towards the direction of your door. “Ugh, I guess you three have chosen to be traitors to me tonight. Say hi to Seungmin for me if he turns up, I guess. He hasn’t dropped by so he’s probably gonna be late from tutoring or something. Damn it...” 
“Y/N!!!” The two pout at the same time, not even making efforts to stop you from pushing them across the floor and out of your mini communal area.
“Don’t be mad, please.” Felix adds with his best puppy eyes.
“We’ll tell Changbin to turn it down, then, swear!” Hyunjin adds after, nodding along with Felix in agreement. “And we’ll be civil tonight! Less drinks for us and no drunk stopovers here later, promise—“
“You said that a month ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 1 then two weeks ago at Changbin’s housewarming part 2. Not to mention when you stupidly stopped by my house drunk off your ass both ti—“
“Yeah, yeah, but that’s why Felix’s gonna remind me this time! Geez, Y/N.” Hyunjin frowns, flicking your forehead before pushing himself off of you and walking to the entrance on his own. “But swear, it’ll be as quiet as the campus library in a moment! We’ll really tell Changbin!”
“I wouldn’t even count on it at this point.” You sigh, directing Felix down to your apartment entrance to retrieve his shoes. “Just go, get out of my house. Happy birthday, Changbin or whatever.”
“You want us to pass that along?” Felix’s eyes immediately brighten optimistically while yours blow comically wild in disagreement. As you open your mouth to protest against it, the boy then wears his shoes back on and makes a run for your door. “Okay, Y/N, I’ll text you later what he’ll say!”
“Felix, no!” You call out for him helplessly, approaching Hyunjin who follows along haphazardly. “Ya! Ya! You fucking traitors!”
The music surprisingly quiets down when you hear Hyunjin’s loud voice upstairs three minutes later. 
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The soft ping of your phone over an hour later reminds you of the pain seeping up your neck from looking down on your notes, making you reposition yourself in front of your work desk as more follow in quick succession. Picking up your phone, you immediately hold it away from your lamp as the screen brightens with each message from your best friend. 
seungmo: how’s the party? 
seungmo: running v late! 
seungmo: im walking to ur place now tho !!!
seungmo: soojin gave me a headache today w her homework 😭😭
seungmo: but yeah u & changbin aren’t killing each other yet right? 
seungmo: pls don’t
Sighing, you quickly cap your pen in your other hand and type in a quick reply. 
y/n: i didn’t go
y/n: i actually feel even better now that i didn’t seeing as you still aren’t there
seungmo: why not? 
seungmo: i thought you were coming???
seungmo: that’s why i’m coming? 
seungmo: dude we talked abt this 
seungmo: ur like neighbors now it’s rude if u don’t greet him at least once
seungmo: & u opened the DM from jisung too so???
y/n: y would i go? i hate changbin
y/n: doesn’t mean we’re neighbors now means that i have to greet him we can just co-exist until he gets kicked out or something
When Seungmin uncharacteristically doesn’t lecture you over text about being civil and polite right after, you set your phone down with a scoff on the quick conclusion that he’s probably caught up with crossing the street or the lack of cell service on your building elevator. Sinking in your chair, you look up to the ceiling once, threatening to shake with the heavy bass reverberating from its other side, and heave a long sigh. 
Of all places, you think to yourself in frustration as you then proceed to close your books and notebooks with a sudden migraine creeping up from the back of your head. Of all places, he just had to move here! 
You look over your phone once more as you then stand up from your seat and finish clearing your desk, frowning when no more messages pop up. 
The intercom across the hall, however, decides ping after. 
@skzwriternet
m.list
readers choose the adventure game! mechanics | requests checklist & series masterlist | prologue | part 2 (coming soon!)
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kimvvantae · 5 years
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puzzle; 6 (m)
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➜  you and jungkook are best friends of a lifetime, even though your personalities are like unmatching pieces of a puzzle. the line between friendship and something more has never been crossed between you two - but that changes after a break up and a drunken night, when you not-so-accidentally cross this line to something much more. what happens when after this accident your non-matching puzzle pieces seem to match in a way you’ve never imagined?
pairing: jungkook x (f) reader
genre: smut, angst, comedy; friends with benefits au; college au
warnings: lots of swearing, unprotected sex (use condoms y’all kids)
rating: 18+
word count: 13k wooohoooooo
A/N: i listened to the same 4 songs over and over again while writing and i think it kind of sets the mood for this chapter so hm if you guys like listening to music while reading here goes a small playlist:
Jungkook - If you (read the lyrics pls)
Whitesnake - Is This Love
BTS - Jamais Vu
Sam Smith - Lay Me Down
enjoy!
➜  Chapters: check up masterlist in bio!
« playlist »
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“You’re acting weird.”
You finally look up when you hear this, just to see Hoseok frowning at you.
“I’m not.” You’re quick to say, shrugging.
“You’re really acting weird. Is everything okay?” Hoseok insists, crossing his arms.
Hoseok is not what bothers you the most, though, but another pair of eyes watching you like a hawk.
Jimin knows why you’re acting weird. Since that day at Joy’s house, he has been staring at you like this constantly - half judging, half worried. 
It’s very annoying, to be honest.
“I’m just… a little bit stressed.” You admit, shrugging again. Fortunately, Hoseok isn’t as observant as Jimin, so he seems convinced.
“So, what did you guys want?” You ask, changing the topic. They came after you in the cafeteria while you have lunch after all.
“Ah! I almost forgot,” Hoseok starts. “You quit your job at the coffee shop, right?”
“Yes. It was way too stressful and my boss was a bitch.” You huff. 
“So you’ll be free this weekend?” He asks. You nod, but if he’s about to invite you to a party or something, you’re ready to say no. “The thing is, you know that me and Jimin have this job as waiters, right? There’s a wedding this weekend and they’re needing staff. So, if you’re interested, you can come with us on Saturday night. The payment is decent and it’s just easy stuff to do.”
Your mood lightens up at this. “Yeah, sure! I’ll go. I really need money right now.”
Hoseok smiles and claps his hands together. “Alright! I’ll send you all the information later. They’ll give you a uniform, so don’t worry about clothes. I have to go now. Bye!”
He leaves.
Jimin stays.
You just keep eating quietly, Jimin’s heavy gaze on you, until you finally get annoyed.
“Jimin, what do you want?” You cross your arms and glare back.
Jimin slowly quirks one eyebrow. “Won’t you ask me if Jungkook’s going?”
“Why would I ask if he’s going or not?”
“Because you guys aren’t talking anymore.”
“Thank you so much for reminding me of this, Jimin." 
He realised that he went a little too far just by seeing your clenched jaw and the anger in your eyes. Jimin sighs and shrugs. "Anyways, yes, Jungkook is going. But not to work as a waiter, he’ll take pictures instead.”
“So what?" 
Jimin swipes his hand over his face and shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s seeing. "I think you’re so stupid. Both of you. My fucking God.”
“You know what, Jimin? That’s none of your business.” You finally get up and take the tray rather roughly, walking away without looking back.
Maybe you were a little too rude with Jimin, but he’s being unbearable these days. 
It’s been one month since that day at Joy’s house - one month since you and Jungkook have been avoiding each other like the plague.
And maybe you were a little too rude with him because deep down, you know he’s right.
As usual.
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tae: wyd?? 👀👀
you: working
tae: ??? didn’t u quit ur job
you: yea
you: it’s one night thing
you: i need the 💸💸
tae: oh
tae: ok
tae: i’ll ask later then
you: wAIT
you: ask what??????
tae: later
tae: u should work first~
you: but im curious
you: i can’t work if im curious >:(
tae: 🙊
you: tae????
you: taeeeeeeee
you: TAEHYUNG
He doesn’t reply anymore.
You groan, shoving your phone on your back pocket again, and leave the restroom. The guests hadn’t arrived yet since the wedding ceremony is still ongoing, but the kitchen is already a mess: people yelling orders, the delicious scent of good food in the air, cooks cooking (duh) and waiters getting ready. The boss has already given you the last instructions, but it’s not as if working in an event like this is a difficult task: serve the guests, smile, be polite, walk around the hall, try not to break the crystal glasses that cost more than what you can pay.
The hotel is pretty fancy, actually. You were expecting a smaller wedding. Not that this is a problem, of course. The only problem here are the heels that all women are forced to use; it’s not too high, but walking around endlessly the whole night in these will be painful for sure. The rest of the uniform is that standard - black pants, white button shirt, black vest and bow tie, hair tied in a perfect high bun, simple makeup. 
You walk to the hall to make the last adjustments in the decoration. Pretty much everything is in place, so there isn’t much to do. The tables are organized, the floor is pristinely clean, the white flower bouquets are in place. A DJ will be in charge of music tonight.
You stand at the back of the hall, almost hidden, just to check your phone once more; no new texts. Now, you can’t stop thinking about what Taehyung wants to ask. He knows you’d get all curious. You and Taehyung have grown closer these days: late phone calls, endless texts, random memes at random times. You hadn’t gone on a proper date yet, though - and you don’t think you want to.
Taehyung is a nice guy and a good friend, but you don’t want to take things to the next level - even though this seems to be Taehyung’s intention since the beginning. He has been insisting in you for quite a long time now meanwhile all you do is keep a certain distance. You didn’t really give him any real hopes yet and you’re afraid that Taehyung might be reading your actions in the wrong way. Truth be told, it’ll be so shitty of you to keep his hopes high when you won’t go anywhere with this.
Your feelings are all messed up. 
Because you shouldn’t even be feeling anything in the first place.
Ironically, you’ve never been friends with benefits with anyone before. You did have some fuck buddies in the past, though - but you were never friends with any of them. You never got involved with any of your actual friends. Sure, there was that night when drunk-you and drunk-Jimin made out at a party (you don’t talk about it), but at that time, you had just joined college and neither you nor Jungkook were close to Jimin yet, so it doesn’t really count. Also, you and Jimin never had sex - you just kissed, nothing more.
But of course dumb you had to be friends with benefits with your best fucking friend. Of course you had to destroy your friendship like that. Everyone knows that sex is a friendship destroyer. Everyone!
One month without Jungkook felt like being in the desert without rain. You have good friends, but none of them are that special person that’s somehow able to read you mind and understand you even if you don’t say anything. None of them know the type of meme you’d laugh at, none of them sent you random snaps at random times of the day. Worst of all - you didn’t watch Endgame together, when you’ve been watching every Marvel film together ever since you both started obsessing over heroes years ago. Every. Single. Marvel. Film.
You didn’t get to see Jungkook crying during the last scenes of Endgame. Jimin didn’t say if he cried or not, but you know he cried.
That’s devastating.
Truth be told, you don’t even miss sex. Sure, you and Jungkook are the perfect match in bed, and you caught yourself masturbating at night wishing it were Jungkook’s fingers inside of you instead (touching yourself has never been so depressing), but what you actually miss to the point it hurts your chest are the small, familiar things. The comfortable silence. The funny banter. Going to Burger King together late at night after a party or when none of you want to cook. Showing each other funny videos or discussing about the latest chapter of the manga you’re both reading. Jungkook ignoring your texts for hours because he’s too focused on playing Overwatch. You even miss the way he never lets you eat the last slice of pizza, goddammit.
You simply miss him.
What leads you to another thought - something that has been growing stronger in your mind.
After days of self denial, you finally admitted that you were jealous of Jungkook and Joy.
There’s no other explanation for the way you acted that day at her house. You were mad that she was touching him and getting too close. That’s weird. You’ve never really been the jealous type. You never minded when people tried to flirt with Jungkook.
You’re not jealous of friends.
Even so, you had a jealousy attack and didn’t rest until Jungkook’s attention was yours again.
Being totally honest with yourself, you’ve been jealous of Joy ever since you found out she was interested in him.
…what the fuck?
Something inside of you have changed, and only now you’re brave enough to admit. Somewhere along the road, you stopped seeing Jungkook as just a friend. He’s currently in that blurry and confusing level - not only a friend, but at the same time, not more than a friend. You don’t know what the fuck he is anymore.
More importantly… do you want to be more than friends?
If you and Jungkook make up, will you be able to go back to what it was - just friends?
Or are you just being possessive? Did you start seeing him in a different way just because you realized you’re about to lose him?
You don’t know the answer to none of those questions. What you know at the moment is that being away from him fucking hurts. You have the same friends, go to the same places, study at the same university, but barely see each other anymore. What’s that thing people say? You just start valuing things after you lose them.
Jimin asked you not to play with Jungkook’s feelings. What he doesn’t know, though, is that you’re so confused about yours that you don’t have time to play with his feelings.
When you realize the guests are about to come, you force your brain to focus on your current task. You stand back with the rest of the waiters as, slowly, the elegant guests get into the hall, sitting at their respective tables, and soon the place is filled with conversation, laughter and music. 
After everyone took their places, the main couple finally come.
The lights change. The DJ plays a special song. Guests stand up and applaud when they enter the hall, smiling, and walk to the center to have their first dance as a married couple.
You could have noticed how the bride’s dress was beautiful. You could have noticed how her front teeth was dirty with lipstick and how the groom tried to discreetly tell her about this. You could have even noticed how one of the kids was starting to have a tantrum and his mother half-screamed, half-whispered, if you don’t be quiet you’ll be grounded for one month!
But you don’t notice any of that, because the photographer enters the hall right after the couple does.
Your heart flutters in a funny way.
Jungkook is wearing a suit (you don’t even remember the last time you saw him in a suit); black and simple, but it fits him so well. He isn’t much different from all the other man, except for his long hair - his black hair is so long he can probably tie it now - and his ear piercings. He holds his camera to eye level, capturing every moment he can from the couple’s first dance, a backpack with other tools hanging from his shoulder. 
Everyone else is focusing on the couple - but you can’t look at anything else but him.
He looks so handsome and focused and hot and-
Hey, you’re here to work!, you remind yourself angrily, shaking your head and walking back to the kitchen.
Drink after drink, tray after tray - you and the other waiters and waitresses walk around the hall to serve the guests. It’s not a difficult work, but still tiring nevertheless. It’s also hard to balance yourself and the trays with these high heels. Soon, you’re immersed in the work and momentarily forget about everything else, although (unconsciously) you try to avoid being seen by a specific someone.
Time passes by and the party goes on. Parents make heartfelt speeches, everyone cries. The DJ plays popular songs and soon the dancefloor is full. Alcohol already starts to get into their heads. Men are either speaking and laughing too loud or crying, hugging the groom. Women already forgot their high heels and their elegance, twerking shamelessly and screaming. Kids do the usual - run, yell, fall and cry - and they almost throw you on the ground twice. Someone spills champagne on the floor; you rush to clean it before someone ends up slipping. There’s the eventual noise of glass breaking. A certain dude has asked for your help far too much and you start to avoid him, noticing that he’s staring at your ass. Another guest pukes and is taken to the infirmary. As usual, you hear old women complaining about the food, how the decoration is ugly, how one waiter was rude, how the DJ doesn’t play the songs they want-
“The photographer is so hot! What’s his name?!” You hear someone giggling.
You gulp.
Jungkook is just doing his job, but that boy can’t go unnoticed, not even when he tries. You don’t know if he saw you yet, and honestly, you hope he didn’t.
Just do your job. Just do your job.
The night goes on. Your left foot hurts and you need to pee, but gladly most of the guests have already left - the groom and bride left first and the party went on without them -, the hall is almost empty, which means it’s almost ending. Now, you busy yourself with cleaning the hall.
“Man, I’m dead,” Hoseok groans, stretching his back. You nod, putting some empty glasses on a tray to take them back to the kitchen.
“Now imagine bearing it all in heels,” you say, not being able to keep your nice posture anymore. Not that there are many guests anyway - most are too drunk or sleeping on the tables. The DJ is still diligently playing, though. 
“The night was productive after all,” Jimin chirps happily, approaching you two with a smug  grin on his lips. You see he’s holding a small paper between his fingers… someone’s phone number.
“Son of a bitch,” you say under your breath. Jimin just shrugs and smirks. Much obviously, you apologized for your rudeness before you came. The fact that he forgave you so easily made everything worse, honestly. Jimin is a nice guy with his friends (way too nice for his own good sometimes) and it just shows how he doesn’t deserve to be treated in a rude way.
“I’m just taking the chances life gives me!” He chirps again, making you roll your eyes.
“Anyways, what’s wrong with Jungkook?” Hoseok wonders, crossing his arms and frowning. “He didn’t come over the entire night. Is he avoiding us?”
You gulp.
Instantly, your eyes travel to where he stands in the nearly-empty dance floor. He smiles politely to some women that stand around him. Everyone’s obviously too drunk and they’re probably talking nonsense.
He’s avoiding me, you realize sadly. 
“He’s working, Hoseok. His job won’t end if the guests keep asking for pictures.” Jimin is quick to say, what indeed makes sense, but Jimin also knows very well why he has been keeping his distance. Hoseok is the only one that doesn’t notice the strange tension in the air.
When you notice you’ve been staring for an embarrassing long time, you immediately shift your gaze to the dirty plates in front of you, organizing them in a pile to take them to the kitchen. You came here to work. That’s it. Focus-
An excited scream tears the air.
“I loooove this song!” One of the girls on the dance floor scream, the one that has been clinging on Jungkook ever since the crowd started to dissipate. Much obviously tipsy, her eyes were glued on him the entire night (not that you’ve been noticing the people checking him out. Of course not). “Jungkookie, dance with me!”
You almost gasp.
Jungkookie?!
That’s when you finally notice the face Jungkook is making - and you try your best not to laugh.
He has that look that means oh my fucking God someone please take me out of this situation.
The two boys by your side don’t try to hide the laughter as well as you, watching the desperate Jungkook try to turn her offer down - an awkward smile, eyes shifting from her, a muttered apology (I still have some work to do…) but the thirsty girl is surprisingly insistent (you can stop for a little bit, come on!).
“I feel sorry for him,” Hoseok almost chokes as he tries to stop his giggles. You kind of feel sorry, too. He can’t be rude to a customer, otherwise he’d be punched by her relatives - not that Jungkook would be rude anyway. He steps back, scratches the back of his neck. The girl is almost climbing him. He looks around desperately, trying to find a way to escape-
“Why don’t you help him, Y/N?” Jimin says sweetly.
You side eye the sugar-coated snake you call friend. “Jimin.” Is all you say in a warning manner.
Someone that doesn’t understand the situation wouldn’t think anything weird, because you’re actually used to save Jungkook from crazy girls. The thing is, sometimes he’s too nice to turn girls down - and yes, girls do chase him. When he’s not interested in them, you’d usually understand the situation and run on his rescue, most times pretending to be his girlfriend so the girls would stop bothering him. It’s something funny and you’d always laugh your asses off right after.
Not now.
You definitely don’t want to laugh now.
Jimin is being far from innocent. He just wants to push you two into each other. He may have good intentions, but he’s not considering the fact that you don’t feel ready to face Jungkook - not when your feelings are so messed up. This ain’t happening.
“Yeah, Y/N. Jungkook looks pretty desperate,” Hoseok remarks, again, oblivious to the tension lingering in the air.
“Jungkook can handle himself very well. He doesn’t need my help.” Even though Jimin feels your menacing glare and sees your jaw clench, this boy is very brave and insists:
“Come on, Y/N! It won’t hurt.” He says innocently.
Yes, it will hurt. It already hurts, dumbass.
“Did you guys forget that we’re here to work? I don’t want to be reprimanded.”
“The hall is near empty. There’s literally nothing to do anymore.” Hoseok doesn’t understand why you’re glaring at him now.
You’re trying to control your nerves, but it’s getting hard not to feel your stomach jump in a weird way and your fingertips tremble. Just the idea of approaching him makes you weak, and not in a good way. Why these people can’t just leave you alone?!
“Do you think that avoiding him forever will work?” Jimin hisses on your ear, low enough so only you can listen, finally showing how pissed he really is.
What he says gets you.
Avoiding each other isn’t working, you know this very well. You remember the way you used to deal with things in the past - talking. Sure, you won’t be able to really talk right now, but at least you’ll have a chance to approach him.
You don’t want to. You really don’t. But at the same time, you want to. You miss Jungkook. 
Besides, he can’t run away from you in this situation.
You take a deep breath and gulp, trying to ease the tension. Come on. I know Jungkook. He’s the same bastard I’ve known my whole life. Stop being a pussy. I’m not a pussy!
“Just to make clear,” you whisper back to Jimin. “I fucking hate you.”
“You love me.” You wish you could rip that triumphant smirk off his face.
You walk over to the dance floor.
The few couples dance slowly and intimately. Because of course it had to be a slow dance. Of course it had to be a romantic song. Haha. Of course. The Universe must be playing some trick on you. 
Jungkook managed to run away from the girl, trying to hide in the corner of the hall, and she’s searching for him like a hawk. You wonder if she’s this drunk or if she’s just stupid. A guy literally running away from you isn’t already a message enough?
You walk quickly to where he stands, and the moment Jungkook turns around and lays his eyes on you, shock covers his features.
“Y/N-?”
“Quick, dance with me,” you say hurriedly, placing his hands on your waist. “She’s coming.”
Instead of questioning, Jungkook immediately starts to play along as you place your own hands on his shoulders. You discreetly watch when the girl finally finds you.
She stops on her tracks.
“She saw us?” He asks without looking back.
“Yes.”
“And?”
You see fire in her eyes.
“If she had a gun, she’d probably shoot me.” The girl looks outraged that you stole her chance to grind on him. “Oh, she’s turning away.”
Jungkook sighs in relief. “Thanks God. She’s been bothering me all night!” You can’t help but giggle.
For a millisecond, it feels like nothing has changed.
But then you look at each other for the first time.
It might be dramatic, but you almost feel that the temperature drops around you.
Oh shit.
You avoid each other’s gazes at the same time. It feels so tremendously awkward to be in front of him again - especially when you’re slow dancing in the dim light of the hall, almost hidden. It feels uncomfortably intimate. Especially because you’re both keeping a distance that normal couples wouldn’t. You probably look like a weird couple at a prom party that were forced to dance together.
It feels foreign.
The way you touch each other doesn’t feel right. You have touched each other in the most intimate and obscene ways, yet the simple touch of his hands on your waist doesn’t feel right. Despite this, you feel your blood boiling with a strange type of excitement; you missed him so damn much. Even in this uncomfortable situation, you can’t help but feel a little bit happy. You didn’t know you’ve been craving for his touch so much up until now.
What’s weird is that you don’t even feel like this in a sexual way. You’re not aroused. Considering how your relationship became strictly sexual these past months, your lack of arousal to be around him is weird.
The butterflies in your stomach and the way your hands are shaking a little bit is also weird.
For some moments, you just sway from side to side in an overwhelming silence. You have no choice but to listen intently to the song being played. As if you already don’t feel fucked up enough, you’re forced to listen to a love song - an 80s love song on top of that. Of course it has to be Is This Love by Whitesnake. Of course. Haha.
“Uhm… thanks.” Jungkook finally breaks the silence. His voice lacks confidence. He probably never talked to you like this.
“Just helping out a friend,” you say and instant regret smashes you. You don’t know if he’s still your friend. 
Jungkook looks scarily annoyed for a second. “A friend. Sure.”
Is it inappropriate to notice how he looks handsome when he clenches his jaw?
Honestly, has Jungkook always been this handsome?
Sure, he has always been like this. Maybe not seeing him in a long time made you feel this way. His hair has grown a lot. He looks extra fine in this suit. Every man looks better in a suit, but Jungkook looks like a deity. 
The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy.
You did miss him a lot. 
The silence makes you pay attention to the song again.
Wasted days and sleepless nights
But I can’t wait to see you again…
Hah, I know how it feels, you think - what makes you widen your eyes, shocked with your own thoughts. No. You won’t suddenly relate to a cliche 80s love song. 
Right?
“H-How’s school going?” You stutter. Are you trying to do small talk? For real?
“It’s doing fine,” he simply says. Oh fuck. Not good. He sounds so uninterested in your weak attempt at engaging a conversation it hurts. You came here to try and talk about what really matters, but you don’t feel ready to do it yet. Can’t he understand it?!
It looks like your presence bothers him, honestly.
That’s new.
Wow. Your heart suddenly feels clenched.
Awkward.
Why am I feeling this way?
A heavy silence weighs on you again. This isn’t going as planned - not that you planned anything in the first place. You’re going through a lot of weird sensations now.
Why is that?
You look at Jungkook timidly (timid and Jungkook are two words that used to not make any sense together in the past), but he doesn’t look back. You avoid his gaze again.
Being hit by a truck would hurt less.
What’s happening?
Why are you so damn confused?
When the song hits its chorus, you start to think the Universe is definitely playing with you. The deep voice of the singer floats in the air:
Is this love 
That I’m feeling?
Is this the love
That I’ve been searching for?
Fuck you, Whitesnake. 
For real. 
Fuck. You.
“Did Taehyung ask you?”
This brings you back to reality in an instant.
“What?” You look at him, confused. Why is he talking about Taehyung of all people out of nowhere?
You’ve always been very good at reading Jungkook, but right now, he’s unreadable.
“So he didn’t.” He says blatantly, devoid of any emotion. “I thought he would have already.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He talked to me about a double date.” Jungkook replies, looking back at you for the first time - again, a blank face. “You and him, me and Joy.”
Your blood honestly feels like frost.
It’s like you lost the ability to move or talk for a moment. You blink and gulp, trying to keep composed.
“What? Why?”
“Because he said it’d be fun. And less awkward, since I’m not very close to Joy yet and you’re not very close to him.”
Again, you don’t say anything for long seconds.
“But we’d just be cockblocking each other during the whole date,” you say.
“I know. I think the idea of a double date sounds weird, too. It’s not as if we don’t know them.”
You remember what Taehyung texted you earlier today; he said he’d ask something later. Is he going to ask you out?
He thinks that, since you and Jungkook are best friends, you could ease the tension and even help each other out.
This is so fucked up.
The immediate answer that comes to your mind is no. You don’t want to go on a date with Taehyung when you’re not interested in him. It’d be cruel; you don’t want to keep his hopes high. 
But as you’re about to say it, you stop.
What if Jungkook wants to go?
All this time, you’ve only been considering your feelings. Your confusion, your wishes - it’s always about you. You don’t know if you want to be just Jungkook’s friend, but you don’t know if he wants to be more than a friend - or if he wants to be your friend at all. The fuck buddies thing started because you asked. Not even once did you think about him.
Is this what Jimin meant when he asked you to not play with Jungkook’s feelings?
How selfish you’ve been acting all this time?
What if he’s been developing feelings for Joy and now decided to try something? He’s probably feeling hurt because you’ve not been acting like a good friend. You’re always putting yourself first.
That’s why you hear yourself asking:
“Do you want to go?”
It’s scary how every tiny little piece of you wishes he’ll say no.
But Jungkook tilts his head and says:
“Yes. I know it sounds weird, but we can part ways as soon as we get there.”
And this is the moment you feel as cold as you’ve never felt in your life.
It’s as if your ears got obstructed for a moment, because you can’t hear anything but your heartbeat. You can’t even see properly for a second. Yet, you ignore all that, gulp and nod.
It’s time to be a good friend for once.
It’s time to put Jungkook’s wishes first - even though it crushes your heart.
“Okay.” You say quietly.
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You’re coming to the conclusion that you’re a walking disaster.
You’ve never been so nervous before a date in your life - but this is not the usual type of nervousness, when people are excited to meet their crush and impress them etc etc. You’re nervous because you don’t want to go. You thought of coming up with a thousand excuses (from the classical “I’m sick :(” to “Seulgi’s sick I gotta take care of her :(” to “my cat’s sick :(” but then you remembered you don’t have a cat to “I’m being chased by the police and I gotta leave the country :(”), but in the end, you couldn’t bring yourself to lie.
Not when Taehyung sounded so painfully happy when you said you’d go.
That’s why you should have said no: Taehyung doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person and he will certainly get hurt when you tell him you’re not interested. Who cares about Jungkook? That fucker can go on a date by himself, he’s not a kid anymore.
But…
There’s something very tiny and mean inside of you called jealousy that didn’t let you simply text an honest apology to Taehyung.
And now it’s too late, because he’s standing at your door.
Handsome as always, Taehyung wears casual clothes: it’s almost as if he didn’t put much thought on it, but he still looks drop dead gorgeous on his black baggy pants, white shirt and black beret (no other man in this planet can manage to not look stupid in a beret other than Taehyung). As usual, your brain malfunctions as it tries to process his beauty.
He has a small, beautiful smile on his lips.
Shit.
“You look beautiful,” he says, and he sounds like he means it. You did put some effort on your clothes, makeup and hair after all. Being complimented by him feels nice.
Shit.
“Thanks. You too, but that’s just your usual self,” you say thoughtlessly and instant regret slaps your face again. Yes, bitch. Flirt with him. Make things more difficult.
Taehyung looks shy for a moment. The sight is endearing.
S. H. I. T.
“You’re just being nice to me.” He tilts his head. “So, let’s go?" 
It’s too late to go back now, so you have no choice but to take his arm and show your most plastic smile. "Yeah.”
You’re definitely a walking disaster.
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You two arrive in the park first and, instead of just showing your tickets and getting in, you’re forced to wait for the bastard and his hot date.
An amusement park of all places.
Not that you hate amusement parks, it’s pretty much the opposite. It’s just that everything feels so wrong. Especially how Taehyung is making a lot of effort to keep the conversation alive while you wait. It’s not hard to talk to him, though, because he’s an interesting person, but seeing his efforts hurts.
What hurts more is the sight of Jungkook and Joy arriving with locked arms.
You hope Taehyung didn’t notice you holding your breath.
Joy looks hot as always, but you don’t even look at her (yes, it’s not nice to be mad at someone that didn’t do anything wrong), eyes glued on Jungkook instead. Just like Taehyung, it seems that he didn’t put much thought on his clothes, only their styles are completely different: Jungkook wears an oversized grey t-shirt, black pants and sneakers. It might seem simple, but he can manage to look good in anything. Joy surely didn’t mind his choice of clothes.
You lock gazes for one second and proceed to avoid it.
The four of you greet. It’s hard to act natural, but you try to; you don’t want the two others to notice the weird tension between you and the black-haired bastard. Joy looks happy, too.
Shit.
Soon, you get into the amusement park. As expected, it’s crowded with kids, families and couples. The weather feels nice this afternoon.
“It’s been a long time since I don’t come to an amusement park,” you confess. 
“Really? Then this was a good choice. I was worried if it’d be too cheesy…” he also confesses sheepishly.
“It’s not!” You reassure him. Joy agrees with you. Jungkook keeps silent. “I just have some traumatizing memories about amusement parks.”
Taehyung quirks one eyebrow. “What?”
You sigh.
You and Jungkook end up saying in unison:
“5th grade.”
You look at each other and avoid your gazes again.
“What? What happened on 5th grade?” Joy asks excitedly.
“Our school came to an amusement park that year,” Jungkook explains.
“Why was it traumatizing?” Taehyung still seems confused.
“Because… well…” you hesitate to say.
“Because she was so short back then that they didn’t let her go on the rollercoasters. And she cried the whole trip,” Jungkook suddenly says.
You glare at him.
He has a playful smirk on his lips.
“Oh, so what about you?” You can’t help but smile, too.
“What happened to him?” Joy asks.
“He laughed at me because I couldn’t ride, but he puked his lunch after he went on the coaster and spent half of the trip in the infirmary,” you reveal. 
“You’re still bitter that you stayed with me in the infirmary?” He inquires.
“Of course I am! Also, you puked on my shoes!”
“I already apologized. Besides, I paid you banana milk for two entire weeks. Isn’t it enough?”
“It isn’t!”
“Are you saying that banana milk isn’t enough?!” He gasps. “You psycho.”
You both giggle.
Again, for one moment, it feels that everything is back to normal. You feel comfortable having these old memories, as if you never stopped being best friends, as if you have the intimacy to play like this again.
But it’s only for one moment.
You avoid gazes. It feels so out of place. 
At least the sadness in Jungkook’s eyes shows that he feels the same about this all.
Before the tension between you two can become too strong, you change the topic and engage both Taehyung and Joy in the conversation - during that moment, you two forgot about them. As wrong as it is, Taehyung is your date for the night. He’s the one you should pay attention to.
So you try to completely ignore Jungkook’s existence for a while.
You only look at Taehyung and don’t even touch your phone. You answer his questions and ask things about him. It doesn’t feel like a punishment, though, because he is an interesting person and you genuinely enjoy his company.
But you can’t help but look at Jungkook from time to time.
You can’t help but notice his smiley-eyes as he looks at her.  You can’t help but see their closure.
You can’t help but feel your heart clenching.
And then, you see yourself locking your arm with Taehyung’s.
“What’s that?” You say excitedly. “I wanna see it!”
You drag Taehyung away from the other couple until they disappear in the crowd. Only then you remember how to breathe again.
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Considering all the odds, this going better than you expected.
You tried your best to completely erase Jungkook’s and Joy’s existence from your mind, and at some point it finally worked. Taehyung is a funny guy to be around. There’s something very particular and endearing about his personality that captivates you; he’s obviously trying to impress you, but he’s still being very honest. He has some type of innocence that makes you realize that this guy is seriously one of a kind. You can’t think of a single sign that he might be a bad person.
You’re genuinely enjoy this.
But not in the way Taehyung expects you to be enjoying it. 
As wrong as it is, you unconsciously end up comparing him to Jungkook. 
If Jungkook was your date, the first thing you’d both want to do is try all the rollercoasters and the wildest rides in this park. But Taehyung is scared of heights. You didn’t want to make the boy vomit his own stomach, so you ended up avoiding it - even though you really wanted to go on that orange coaster that looks high as fuck.
Taehyung didn’t really get your jokes. The fact that he still laughed politely is cute, but still - Jungkook and you have the same sense of humor. You two like the same stupid type of meme. It felt strange when you had to explain more than once a certain joke so Taehyung could understand. 
Taehyung didn’t know your favorite ice cream flavor or your favorite soda. He doesn’t know the kind of movie you like, nor your favorite series, nor your favorite singers. You know you’re being stupid - the whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other, but every now and then you end up remembering how Jungkook knows every dumb detail about you…
What makes you realize that, as much as Taehyung is an amazing guy, you are too different from each other. 
What also makes you realize that, maybe… you don’t really want to get to know anyone else.
And suddenly, an image starts to build in your mind - an image you try very hard to erase, but it’s already too strong to be forgotten.
Instead of Taehyung, you arm is locked with Jungkook’s. You’re both laughing and having fun, just like things used to be. Only now you’re not just friends. 
It’s the first time in all these years that you see yourself dating Jungkook clearly. Painfully clearly.
The cotton candy you’re eating suddenly tastes like iron on your tongue. You feel your throat tightening. All of this became painful. The fact that you’re trying so hard to forget Jungkook for a few minutes, yet he’s everything you can think of. The fact that he’s in the same park as you having a date with another girl - said girl that is a friend, by the way, someone you encouraged to be with Jungkook, and now you’re hating her existence even though she did nothing wrong, all because of jealousy. There’s also the fact that Jungkook is much obviously avoiding you.
And the most painful fact of all-
“Are you okay, YN?” Taehyung asks, the smile vanishing from his lips the moment he sees your expression. 
The fact that this incredible person likes you much more than you expected. It’s obvious now that you look at his eyes. He really likes you - a funny, smart and special guy, someone that didn’t check his phone not even once ever since this date started, someone that has been trying his hardest to make sure you’re having fun, a guy that is usually very confident, but at the moment looks very uneasy around you.
He’s the perfect guy. He wasn’t disrespectful, wasn’t trying to get into your pants, treated you very well. You went on dates that were far worse than this. There was nothing wrong with him. You’re also sure he’d be a loving and caring boyfriend.
But all you can think of is Jungkook. 
And even though you knew this date wouldn’t work, you still accepted to come anyway. You kept Taehyung’s hopes high. Just because you were jealous.
You’re definitely the worst person on this planet.
But this has to end before Taehyung gets more hurt.
“I’m not feeling very well,” you hear yourself saying. Worry covers Taehyung’s features. “What’s the problem? Was it something you ate? Do you want to go to the infirmary?”
Damn. It hurts to see him like this.
“No. Can you… can you just take me home, please?” You ask sheepishly. 
If Taehyung feels disappointed, he doesn’t let you see; he just nods instead. “Okay. Let’s go.”
And this is how you managed to destroy a perfectly fine night.
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You still try not to think of Jungkook and Joy on your way back home; you don’t want to know if they’re still in the park or if they went somewhere else. The idea of what they must be doing makes your stomach twirl in a bad way. It feels like a weight installed itself on your shoulders. Everything seems too oppressive and suffocating. You can’t wait to be alone and peaceful to process all of these feelings. Fortunately, Seulgi isn’t home - she went to sleep at a friend’s house to finish a project. 
For the first time, being with Taehyung feels awkward as you walk to the front door of your apartment. You can see he isn’t exactly glad. It makes everything worse.
You stop in front of the door and you turn around to face him. Everything you have to say must be said now.
“I’m so sorry, Taehyung.” You say in an embarrassed tone, scratching the back of your neck. “I ruined everything.”
“What? No!” He’s quick to reassure. God, his eyes are beautiful… “It’s not your fault. People feel ill, that’s normal.”
You gulp. Oh Gosh. He believed what you said. This is getting worse and worse… “I had a lot of fun today. Really.” You sigh and tilt your head tiredly. “Honestly, it was the most fun I had in a long time…”
“I had a lot of fun, too.” His smile is able to melt any frozen heart. “I noticed that you had a lot in mind, so I’m glad I was able to distract you at least a little.”
It gets you off guard. 
He’s way more observant than you expected.
“You noticed…?” You gulp, even more embarrassed. He nods. “I’m so sorry…”
“It’s fine. Everyone has a bad day every now and then. I just have to admit that I���m kind of worried about you.”
You stare at each other in silence for a while.
“Are you?” Why suddenly all you can do is make stupid questions?
Taehyung tilts his head. “Yes. You’re always such a bright person. Seeing you being quiet these days makes me sad.” First of all: did people start to realize that there’s something wrong with you? Are you acting this weird?
Second of all: that was adorable. He’s so honest about his feelings.
“To be honest, Taehyung… I’m not really a bright person,” you end up confessing in a quiet, weak voice. You don’t know why you’re saying this. You were supposed to push him away, not pull him closer. “I think I’m just used to pretend I am.”
“You don’t have to,” your eyes widen when you feel his fingertips brushing on your cheek as he gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to pretend you’re fine when you’re not. To suppress this type of feeling… it hurts. Believe me, I know.” For a moment, you feel your breath hitch. The skin where  his fingers touched feels warm. He’s mesmerizing. His voice sounds like a sweet melody on your ears: deep, silky. “So, if you ever feel like opening up… I’m here, okay?” He widens his eyes for a second. “I-I mean- you can open up to Seulgi or Jungkook or Jimin, sure… anyone.”
This moment of shyness coming from him makes you giggle. “I don’t feel like opening up to anyone right now,” especially not to you, you think. “but thank you, Tae. It… it makes me really happy. I’m glad I went on this date with you.”
You shouldn’t have said that.
You shouldn’t have called him Tae.
Even though you’re saying the truth and there’s no second intentions hidden, Taehyung hears something else. 
His hand is still resting on your cheek.
And he says nothing.
He just… stares right into your eyes.
You can’t move.
You clearly see when his face starts coming closer and closer to yours, slowly but surely. You see his heavy-lidded eyes, his clouded gaze, his parted lips. You feel the thick tension in the air around you - the electricity. 
That’s when you should have pushed him away.
But you can’t.
Instead, you unconsciously close your eyes. You feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second - until his lips finally touch yours.
The kiss is suave - gentle and delicate. He doesn’t move his lips at first, merely pressing his against yours. Your body warms up in a way you haven’t felt in a long time; not because of arousal. It’s the pure excitement of being kissed.
Maybe that’s why you let him kiss you. You had forgotten how it feels like to be touched without any sexual intention. Kisses are too intimate, so you and Jungkook didn’t really kiss that often - and when you did kiss, it was always heated and obscene, tongues entangling wildly until both of you could barely breathe. It’s been a long time since someone kissed and held you like this: with gentleness and care. Taehyung isn’t treating you like a sex toy.
You melt.
Your lips part as he deepens the kiss; he is undemanding, careful and delicate. His lips taste like lip balm. No one is fighting for control, no one is desperate. It’s slow and synchronized. It’s sweet and innocent. Most importantly - it’s way different than you ever expected it to be. You never thought he’d kiss like this.
When Taehyung pulls away, the purest smile adorns his features.
“I’m sorry.” He says quietly, but he doesn’t sound sorry at all. “I should have asked permission.”
“It’s okay.” And it really is. You shouldn’t, but you liked it. 
“I'll… I’ll get going.” He says, the smile never disappearing. His eyes are also smiling. He stands there awkwardly in an adorable manner. “Can I text you later?”
“Sure.” You nod. “Good night. And thank you again.”
Taehyung grins. “Good night.”
Before leaving, he presses his lips on yours quickly one last time. 
You watch until he disappears inside the elevator, entering the apartment and standing there alone in the dark for a few seconds.
Then you unceremoniously slam your forehead against the wooden door.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You hiss between gritted teeth. “What have you done?!”
You were supposed to push him away. You should have told him the truth - that you don’t have feelings for him, that you’re confused and almost certainly in love with another guy. Instead, you just stood there and let him kiss you. You not only kept his hopes high, you increased them.
How will you get yourself out of this situation now?!
You throw yourself on the couch, grab a cushion and scream into it. I’m the worst of the worst. I’m a walking catastrophe. 
For a long time, you just lay there and torture yourself with bad thoughts. Taehyung is the nicest guy you’ve met in a really long time. If you gave him the opportunity months ago, you’re sure you’d be dating right now - and the idea isn’t even unpleasant. He’s hot and smart and funny and sweet. It’s even hard to believe that someone like him is interested in you.
But…
No. Don’t think about him.
You want to punch yourself and scream and eat tons of ice cream and cry - all at once. You’re the queen of taking bad decisions. You’re the heart crusher and friendship destroyer-
There’s someone knocking on the front door.
You sit up in a jump and frown. Is it Seulgi? Did she forget her keys?
You walk slowly around the living room, defeated as if you’ve just came home from war, your hair a mess and shoulders shrinking. You turn the doorknob and open it-
And gasp.
Because standing at your front door is the person you least expected to see.
Jungkook is casually leaning on the door frame as if his presence didn’t make you burst a lung. He looks down, eyes avoiding yours; although the hallway is considerably dark, you can see his expression well. You know him too well. You see sadness and guilt and fear in his eyes.
Your heart beats so fast that you’re afraid it’ll stop suddenly. Nervousness crawls over your skin and makes your stomach feel cold.
“J-Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re brave enough to stutter. You completely forgot that Jungkook used to come over so often that you gave him full permission to enter and leave the building whenever he wanted.
He doesn’t say anything.
Instead, he lifts his left hand and shows you what he’s carrying: a plastic bag full with a pack of…
Banana milk.
“I think we really need to talk.” He says quietly, his eyes meeting yours for the first time.
You inhale sharply.
He’s right. You need to talk.
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The cold night breeze makes you tighten your coat around your body. Yours and Jungkook’s hairs sway softly with the wind. You can hear the sounds of the city from up here, in the empty terrace - cars, sirens, voices. A glowing map of endless streets and buildings extends itself in front of your eyes.
You’re both leaning on the railing side by side. You’re hyper aware of the distance between you - both physical and… spiritual. You’ve been standing here in silence for quite some time now, quietly drinking the banana milk he brought, and none of you were able to engage a conversation. The tension is heavy. It overwhelms your whole being. Nervousness makes your nerves tense. You can’t even look at him.
Dozens of questions float around your mind; what is he doing here? Why did he decide to come in the first place? What happened to his date? It’s still very early, he could have stayed with her much longer…
You also can’t help but feel helplessly excited that he is here. With you. Not with Joy. He took the initiative to meet you. 
You can’t lose this opportunity.
“It’s kinda cold.” Is the first thing you say. It doesn’t even sound like you.
“Yeah.” He agrees, and he also doesn’t sound like him.
The awkwardness is almost solid right now. Things used to be so different… you can’t remember one moment in the past when such an uncomfortable feeling lingered between you. 
“Hm…” you cough. “What, hm… what about you and Joy?”
Why the fuck are you asking this?, you yell at yourself.
Jungkook looks down and shakes his head. “Let’s not talk about Joy or Taehyung right now, okay?”
You shrug. “I’m just trying to start a conversation.”
“That’s not how you do it.”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t know how to do it anymore.”
Jungkook goes silent with this, the quick aggressiveness disappearing as soon as it came. He gulps and looks down at the banana milk between his fingers again. 
More silence.
“Can I… can I ask you something?” Jungkook says after a long while. His voice is quiet, hesitant, almost being carried away with the wind.
“What?” You feel your body heating up in anticipation. 
He finally looks up to you, and in the moment your eyes meet, you have this weird feeling that everything except him looks blurred.
“Why did you start dating Mike?” He asks. “I warned you about him. I mean, you used to listen to me in the past.”
Oh.
Certainly not the type of question you were expecting.
What a mood killer, Jungkook.
You avoid his gaze again, trying to hide your disappointment. “Why are you asking me this now?”
“I just really want to know.” He takes one more sip of the banana milk.
A sigh escapes through your lips and you stare at the shiny city ahead. You didn’t think you’d have to bring up memories of Mike. It’s been a long time, but it still hurts to remember him.
“I… I just…” you start, trying to organize your thoughts. “You know that Mike had like a… bad relationship with his parents, right?” Jungkook nods. “Mike opened up about this to me. I saw how much it hurt him. He was lonely, broken. And I…” this is being way harder than you expected. You shrug, shake your head. “I don’t know. I was just being my stupid self. I thought I could… I wanted to fix him. I realized that I have this heroine complex, you know?” You side eye him sheepishly. “But there are a lot of things I can’t fix… I’m better at breaking things, not fixing them.”
“Don’t say that. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help people.” The confidence in which Jungkook says this makes, yet again, an odd sensation set in your stomach. 
It is probably the first time Jungkook managed to make you blush in your entire life.
A little more silence.
“Did you actually like him?” You can barely hear his voice.
You have no idea why he’s making this questions. Why is he bringing up Mike after so long?
“Well… yes.” You can’t lie right now. “I did.” You make sure to reinforce the did. It’s in the past.
Jungkook nods and says nothing. He takes another banana milk from the plastic bag and opens it.
You inhale, building up your courage to ask something you’ve been wanting to know for a long time. He touched this subject anyway.
“You asked me something, now it’s my turn to ask you something.” Jungkook nods. You have the feeling that he already knows what’s coming. “Why did you break up with Yeri?”
“She broke up with me.”
Oh.
“Why?” You repeat. You can see that Jungkook gets clearly uncomfortable, but you’re not letting him go without an answer - and he already knows how stubborn you can be, too. He shifts, tilts his head, exhales heavily.
“It just didn’t work out.”
“But you liked her. And she liked you, too.” It was pretty obvious to anyone that saw them together. 
Jungkook takes a long while to speak again. “I did like her. A lot.” The way his voice sounds fragile surprises you. Seeing him like this is very rare. Jungkook isn’t one to get all emotional too often. It seems that confessing this to you is important to him, somehow.
It also scares you a tiny bit. What if Jungkook still likes her, just like you suspected in the past?
“I didn’t want things to end the way they did.” He continues. His eyes are far away, watching old memories. His shoulders seem tense. He fiddles with the small banana milk bottle between his fingers. “But… some things aren’t meant to be, it doesn’t matter how much you want them to.”
This answer sounds… way too vague. Not what you want to hear. You know there’s more behind their break up, but just by looking at Jungkook you see that he isn’t telling you anything else. Well, this is the most he ever said about his past relationship in almost one year. It’s better than nothing.
And back to silence.
You want to push this awkwardness away. But how? You don’t feel as close to Jungkook as you always were. It’s not as if you could simply say anything in this moment… especially because, somehow, you feel that Jungkook expects you to do something, even though he came all the way to your apartment just to talk.
Say something, goddamnit!
“I’m sorry.” you blurt out.
Jungkook looks at you, but you’re not strong enough to look back at him. You hold the tiny bottle so tightly that it might get smashed at any moment; that’s just how nervous you are.
“Sorry for what?” he asks quietly. You hear the expectation in his voice… almost as if he’s holding his breath.
You can’t help but gulp. I’m not good with this type of thing. 
“For everything.” you hate the way your voice sounds so damn fragile. Being sincere like this is somehow… painful. But that’s what Jungkook expects of you: sincerity. So you keep talking, although you don’t know the right words to express yourself. “I… I don’t know why things got like this between us…” you almost gasp. “I mean, I know why. We know why. And I feel very responsible.”
“You have this habit of taking the blame to yourself, isn’t it?” He murmurs. Jungkook shakes his head softly and passes his hand on his hair.
“But I was the one to propose it in the first place.”
“And I agreed.”
“Okay, but…” you have to stop for a moment to recover your breath. “I don’t know, I just feel sorry. I didn’t think of anyone except me all along. I’ve been an awful person to you… and awful friend. Also…” you need to stop again. Why is it so hard to speak? It feels as if there’s something obstructing your throat; the words hardly come out. “What I did that day at Joy’s house… it was wrong. I’m sorry that I made you upset that day.”
Jungkook sighs heavily. You’re still scared to look at him. 
“I’m sorry about that day, too. I was rude to you.” Is he apologizing for calling you a slut while you had sex in the bathroom? Well, you definitely didn’t care about that. “I feel sorry too, Y/N. The way we drifted apart from each other…” he gesticulates with his finger between you and him. “The fault is on us both. I already told you, you shouldn’t take all the responsibility to yourself. We were both stupid.”
“Very stupid.” you both chuckle. You feel your heart lightening up for a moment; that strong tension still hovers around you, but now it feels like a different type of tension. Seeing that tiny smile in Jungkook’s lips makes your heart race. 
You finally look at each other.
The shadows of the night paint Jungkook’s face. His hair sways with the wind softly. His dark eyes shine as much as diamonds. You never really understood the expression “to get lost in someone’s eyes…” 
Well… now you do.
The small moment you two share feels fragile… featherlight. You’re scared that if you say or do something wrong, it’ll break and disappear. You’re scared to break him. To break yourself. This makes you remember that, ever since you were kids, Jungkook has always been the most fragile of you two. He has always been the most sensitive, the one to get hurt easily. Jimin was right all along. How could you do this to him? Why did you let this happen between you two? 
“I missed you.” your voice is barely a whisper. Admitting this makes you feel exposed and relieved at the same time. Your throat feels even tighter.
“I missed you, too.” he confesses. 
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry, too.”
You smile at each other.
That’s the moment you almost confess something more… your confused feelings for him. You feel the urge to say that you don’t see him as just a friend anymore; that you don’t want to be just a friend anymore.
But something holds you back.
This is maybe the moment when you’re finally being able to reconcile. You don’t know if Jungkook feels the same about you; you don’t want to push him away by throwing your feelings over him. This might destroy you friendship forever.
Then, you decide to keep it all to yourself. At least for now.
“So,” Jungkook says, sighing. “What about that group project?”
You quirk one eyebrow up. “I’m pretty sure you know about the group project.”
Jungkook giggles. “Jimin has been annoying you, too?” you nod. He shakes his head. “He’s a little shit, isn’t he?”
“Yes. He had good intentions, at least.” You shrug. 
“He could be a little more subtle, though.” You can’t help but agree. “Congratulations for getting the highest grade.”
“Thank you. Jimin also told me that you’ve been talking to some important people…”
Jungkook smiles beautifully with this. “Yes. It’s a director. He said that he likes my work and that I have talent. I think he’ll invite me to work with him as a trainee for a while.” Your eyes widen in a surprised expression.
“Really?! That’s great, Kook!” It feels so nice to call him Kook again after so long. Slowly, you feel that unbearable tension vanishing and all that’s left is you and him. Two people that know each other better than you know yourselves for most of your lives. In a matter of seconds, the distance that put you apart for months seems to disappear. 
Suddenly, you feel a cold drizzle start falling over your heads. Jungkook frowns. “I think we should get down there.”
“Yes.” Before you can think better, you blurt out: “You can sleep here if you want.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that, because Jungkook’s frown deepens as he stares at you with suspicion. A shiver of fear runs down your spine. “Hey, that’s not what I mean.” You’re quick to say, waving your hands. “Before this sex thing started there was just us, remember? I… I miss us.”
Jungkook thinks for some moments, his eyes never leaving yours. 
Then, a tiny smile makes its way to his lips - and you’re happy to see that the smile reaches his eyes, too. “Okay.”
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“Wait- so Irene and Jennie made up?” Jungkook asks from the kitchen, surprised.
“That’s what it looks like. I mean, they did post some photos together on Instagram.” you say while adjusting the pillows and blankets on the mattress you placed in the living room. Yours’ and Seulgi’s friends come to sleep over a lot, so you’re used to do it - you even bought some spare sheets and blankets for this occasion. 
“But you can’t be sure that they are together just because of some photos.”
“Yeah, but you know Seulgi. She jumped to conclusions. Being honest, they don’t look like a couple in these photos… but I don’t think there’s anything I can say that will change her mind at this point. I tried everything.”
“I don’t really think that they’ll make up this time.” Jungkook admits. You walk over to the kitchen and lean on the counter, opposite to him.
“I feel bad for her. Seulgi still loves Irene and she can’t get over it. I think it’s the first time she spends the night out in a long while… and it isn’t even to have fun. I’m worried.”
He pouts and shrugs, eyes focused in building up his sandwich. “Maybe we should just let her figure things out by herself.”
“But she’s doing nothing.”
Jungkook stops adding ketchup just to stare at you and quirk his eyebrows. “Y/N. I think I already said that you should stop trying to be a cupid, like… a million times.”
“I didn’t say I’d do something!” You do your best to sound offended. 
“I know you, woman. I’ve seen this face many times. You look like an evil gremlin.” 
“I don’t!” you cross your arms. You forgot how annoying it is that Jungkook knows you so well, because you did think of doing something to help her. You’re so tired of seeing you friend being sad all the time. All she does these days is watch Netflix and complain. She already started to look like a zombie at this point. No one can blame you for being concerned. “Besides, gremlins are cute.”
“You’re the only person on this planet that thinks this.” He shakes his head slightly, his hair waving in the process.
“Why did you let your hair grow so much?” You ask, resting your chin over your palm. 
“Because I look good with long hair.” Jungkook shrugs, a smug smirk on his face. 
“You cocky little shit.”
“Am I wrong for telling the truth?” He looks up at you again, playful. You can’t even tell he’s wrong: that long hair really matches his looks and personality. 
“Hey, are you still helping Namjoon and Yoongi?” you ask when Jungkook starts to make a fourth sandwich. Yes, you guys do eat a lot.
“Yeah. I haven’t been to the studio in a few days, but they still call me whenever they need me.” Jungkook presses his lips together and shifts a little: nervousness. “I… I kind of helped them write a song.”
“Really? But you said you were just ‘lending’ them your voice to record demos.” 
“Yeah, but I felt kind of inspired. It was just for fun, though.” He shifts his eyes to you then back to the sandwich very rapidly. “Maybe I’ll let you listen to it any other day.”
“Aw, come on! I’ve been wanting to listen to your songs for so long!” you whine.
“I said maybe. When the right time comes.”
You don’t really get what he means with it.
For a while, you just sit there and watch Jungkook. He looks so carefree and relaxed; he moves around the kitchen as if it’s his own house. He knows where everything is in the cabinets. In a way, this really is his second house considering how often he comes… even when he used to come just to fuck during these past months. It feels so nice to see him not being all tensed up and uncomfortable around you anymore. He even starts to sing quietly, his voice as sweet and smooth as cotton candy filling up the entire house.  You’re one of the few people that Jungkook feels confident enough to sing around. It’s almost a privilege.
You have been staring at him unceremoniously for so long that Jungkook frowns and looks back at you, frowning. “What?”
“Nothing.” You shake your head. “It’s just that… Namjoon is right. You could’ve been famous with this voice.” Jungkook smiles shyly. “And this face.” He turns around to open the fridge. “And this ass.”
He frowns. “Seriously?”
“What? I’m being honest. And don’t act like you don’t stare at my ass all the time.”
Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head in that way that means I can’t stand you.
“Done.” He claps his hands together. Four giant sandwiches, coke, popcorn and m&ms (let’s say that you and Seulgi don’t have exactly the healthier type of food at home). 
“Okay. I’ll take these, get changed first if you want,” you say while taking the plates to the living room. Of course there would be some of his clothes at your place.
When Jungkook sees the clothes you chose, he stares at you with an outraged expression. “My grey hoodie!”
“…yes.”
“You said you didn’t know where it was!”
You stop and click your tongue. “…funny how I found it at the bottom of my drawer tonight, huh?”
He knows you’re lying. But you won’t tell him that slept wearing his hoodie some nights because it smelled like him. He doesn’t need to know this.
“Hoodie thief.” He says and taps your head jokingly, making his way to the bathroom. You’re wearing sleeping clothes as well - and you made sure to choose your ugliest and largest ones. You don’t want Jungkook to think you asked him to sleep here just to end up having sex. 
He comes back and throws himself on the mattress by your side. You’re very aware of the immense space between you; another person could fit in here. “What are we going to watch?”
“I think I’ve watched the entire Netflix catalogue at this point because of Seulgi.” you admit, shoving popcorn inside your mouth. Jungkook takes your phone and scrolls down the Netflix page. 
“There’s always something more to watch.”
You end up arguing about what movie to watch. Actually, you spend more time arguing and scrolling down through the Netflix endless catalogue than watching something. 
You don’t touch each other not even once. The physical distance almost feels like a living being.
You end up giving up on Netflix and watching Avengers Endgame for the hundredth time anyway.
And yes - Jungkook cries at the ending of the film.
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You wake up with the sunlight touching your face.
It’s awful. You close your eyes tightly and yawn, a little bit confused at first. What am I doing in the living room? You search for your phone to check the hour: it’s seven in the morning. Shit. Whenever you can sleep until late hours, you end up waking up early…
You turn your head to the side and freeze.
It’s Jungkook.
Now you remember everything. The TV is still on, which means both of you fell asleep while watching it. The empty plates and glasses are placed over the coffee table. 
You never slept together before.
There was only one time when it happened - the first and only, when you two got wasted and the whole story started. Other than that, you never slept together. First, because you had more interesting things to do other than sleep. Second, because sleeping together feels way too intimate. It didn’t matter how tired you were after fucking, when you finished cleaning up, you’d both put your clothes back on and walk back to your respective homes. You vehemently avoided doing anything that might feel too intimate - kissing, sleeping together… after a while, you even avoided looking at each other right in the eye while having sex. 
You’re not touching; there is still a great space between your bodies. Yet… just the thought that you slept with Jungkook makes your heart race.
You don’t move a single centimeter. You just lay there and… look at him.
His long hair is a mess. His face is adorably puffy, lips slightly parted. He looks peaceful. The way his chest moves up and down as he breathes is hypnotizing. 
He’s seriously so beautiful.
But now, you don’t think of it in a sexual way. Back then, you’d always admire how hot Jungkook is, his godlike physique, how lucky you were to be having sex with a guy like him… not now. You just feel mesmerized by his features. The long eyelashes touching his cheeks. The tiny moles on his face and neck. Some old acne scars. 
It’s odd, but right now, you realize just how much you’ve been missing him. It doesn’t make sense - Jungkook is right here, barely an arm apart from you. You made up last night and it seems that everything is back to normal. Still, you desperately miss him. 
Your chest fills up with something strange and unknown. It’s sweet and painful. It makes your heart feel tight, your nerves feel like burning and your eyes well up with tears. 
This is the face of the person that has been with you during most of your life. 
He’s a part of you.
The most important part of you.
In this moment, your feelings for him are so great that it seems that they can’t even fit inside of you anymore.
You watch him sleep for a long time, too scared to move and wake him up. But eventually, he sighs heavily and moves his head, indicating he’s about to wake up.
His eyes finally open and he yawns.
“Good morning.” He says when his eyes focus on you, smiling softly. Jungkook’s voice sounds deep and raspy. He stretches his arms over his head. “I mean… if it’s still morning.”
“It is,” you say softly.
He stares at the ceiling with heavy-lidded eyes. “I dreamed that babies came from eggs. Like ostrich eggs.” He chuckles. “And women gave birth to the eggs like chickens.”
You don’t say anything and just keep watching him instead.
Jungkook finally turns his head at you and frowns, still smiling softly. “What?”
“Nothing.” You say so quietly that he can barely hear.
He gazes back at you.
Slowly, the smile on his lips disappears.
You feel the tension building up around you - but this time it feels different. It’s not a bad tension like what you experienced last night at the terrace, nor is it dense like when you two were aroused and desperate to find a place and please yourselves. This time, it feels delicate but heavy nevertheless. It makes your blood boil and your heart race.
Jungkook’s eyes are serious, heavy and intense over you. All the playfulness is gone. None of you say a word. You don’t even know if you have the power to move considering how heavy the tension is.
He extends his arm and his fingertips touch your cheek. Your skin feels burning hot. Delicately, he puts a strand of hair behind your ear. It’s strange how he’s doing the exact same thing Taehyung did, but with Jungkook, this simple touch made you feel like exploding right there. 
Jungkook is the one to come closer. Closer and closer and closer. Your breathing is heavy. He caresses your cheek his his thumb. Soon, his face is right in front of yours - noses touching, eyes locked and burning with something you can’t quite name.
You stare at each other like this for a moment until his gaze finally drops to your mouth.
You both lean in for the kiss at the same time.
You have already tasted these lips multiple times before - but now, it’s different. The kiss is slow; you move your lips unhurriedly and sweetly. Yet, this kiss feels much more intense than any other you have shared before. None of those times when you kissed him desperately with luxury being the only thing on your mind comes even close to the intensity of this kiss.
It almost feels that this is the actual first time you kiss Jungkook.
Your breathing gets even heavier as the kiss deepens. His hand rests on your waist, while yours hold his neck. The sloppy sounds of your lips and tongues moving together are the only audible thing in the apartment. Your whole being screams in excitement and anticipation when Jungkook moves his body to hover over yours, not even once breaking the kiss. Your right hand grabs his smooth hair while the other travels up and down his back; your body is getting burning hot. Jungkook moans very softly. You start to feel the familiar wetness on your panties.
Jungkook leans away for a moment; his lips are red and swollen, his hair is even messier now, his dark eyes are clouded with want and something you can’t name - something so strong that he’s able to make you shiver with that look alone. He leans down again and starts to kiss and suck your neck very slowly, making soft moans escape through your lips. His hand sneaks under your baggy shirt and he squeezes your breast. Soon, his lips are on yours again and the kiss becomes much deeper. You can already feel sweat forming on your forehead. Jungkook starts to grind on you; you can clearly feel his clothed erection rub against your own core, what makes more and more strangled moans come from both of you.
This is the hottest make out session of your life. The entire atmosphere is not what you’re used to; it’s not playful, none of you say a word. No teasing, no dirty talk. All you do is try to touch each other the best you can, never once breaking the kiss. It’s as if, with this kiss, you’re having a conversation… you’re telling each other everything you’re not brave enough to say out loud.
Soon, the desperation becomes too big. There’s no time to play, you just want to have him inside of you and feel his warm skin against yours. Unceremoniously, you start to undress yourselves, kissing every spot you can find in the process - neck, chest, stomach. Your clothes are thrown around the living room. You lay on your back again and Jungkook hovers above you once more, your legs entangling around his hips as he positions his hard member on your entrance.
You always avoided this position because it is too intimate; you’re forced to look at each other like this. This time, though, it doesn’t matter. You want to look at him - and the sight of his face contorting in pure pleasure, lips parted and eyes closed tightly as he eases himself inside of you, is almost as good as the feeling of being stretched after a long time.
Jungkook doesn’t move at first. He knows he’ll hurt you if he goes too hard right from the beginning. Instead, he waits until you call his name quietly in a strangled moan - the sign he needs to start thrusting. He rests his head on your shoulder and grabs the pillow under your head tightly as he picks up his pace, slow and steady, soft groans coming from the back of his throat that make you feel goosebumps. You hold his back with both hands. You can’t shut the moans anymore.
Sweat makes your skin slippery as he thrusts faster. Jungkook licks and bites your ear, moaning right into it, and it feels that this alone could make you cum. He then leans away for a moment, creating some space between your bodies to have a better angle to keep smashing himself into you - faster and faster, stronger and stronger. The usual sound of skin hitting skin, heavy breathing and moans is all you can hear. 
You said that you didn’t ask him to sleep here just to have sex - and you weren’t lying.
But this doesn’t feel like just sex.
This isn’t fucking.
The pleasure is getting unsustainable and you both feel it. You close your legs around him even tighter and pull his face with both hands, sealing your lips in another intense, desperate kiss. It’s sloppy and unsynchronized. It’s raw and rough and so full of emotions you can’t comprehend that you feel your eyes tearing up again.
What you’re experiencing right now isn’t just two people finding pleasure in each other. It isn’t simply carnal instinct. 
It is the deepest and most sincere way to connect with another being - without any words, through touches only.
You never felt anything like this in your life - not with Mike or any of your past boyfriends and hook ups. This is beyond lust. This is beyond sex.
Jungkook breaks the kiss apart for a second  to look at you. Your gazes lock. God, he’s beautiful. Not only his appearance, but everything about him is beautiful.
And it is right now - stating deep into his eyes - that you come to a conclusion.
Jungkook has always been a part of you. But, in this exact moment, it feels like more.
It feels that you two became one.
He leans down and kisses you again. Your lips are tightly sealed when you both come at the same time.
Your trembling fingers still hold the strands of his damp hair tightly. You caress his face softly, putting some hair away from his eyes. Jungkook kisses you again. And again, and again, and again, and again.
You’re glad when he rests his head on your shoulder again, because like this, he can’t see the tears trickling down your temples.
It’s still hard to understand what just happened. Honestly, you think you’ll never fully understand.
But one thing you do understand, one thing that became as clear as the morning sky, is that your feelings for Jungkook are deeper and stronger than you ever imagined. He’s so much more than a friend.
Yet, you don’t know if he sees you the same way.
You don’t know if he felt the same things you did or if this was just one more time having sex with you. You don’t know if he still has feelings for Yeri or if he’s developing any for Joy.
You know nothing - and this fact makes your heart hurt as if it is being stabbed…
Because Jungkook, the best and most important part of you, might never be truly yours.
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nad-zeta · 4 years
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Match up | (• ◡•)| (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)
heya!! tysm again fr the ikesen matchup, i loved it sm ♡ sooo now could i pls get a matchup for ikevamp, if its ok? 💞 (ps i hope ur doin ok!!) here’s the info again!!
bi girl, i prefer guys! ambiverted intp, gryffindor or ravenclaw, neutral good, scorpio. i have an older twin sis n i love/hate her sm!!
medium-length straight-ish black hair (side bang to the right) & dark brown eyes!! 5'5-ish, filipina! im getting glasses soon~
complex daydreamer- i crave affirmation/praise!! anxiety, i overthink sm! quiet w/ others cause idk what to say. im like half funny/playful & half deep/awkward- easily annoyed but guilty after cause im soft-hearted. i have a way w/ words, poetic? hopeless romantic! i tend to be quite chaotic? sorta socially anxious-
not innocent/naive but ppl think so at 1st! i look fine but im a big mess. superiority complex, insecure- smart n knowledgeable. passionate! a kid w/ my twin but w/ others, mature. its hard to friend ppl! dramatic but rather closed off. its hard for me to ask fr help- opinionated but i try to understand. i need lots of space,,,
i like to have fun n loosen up but would also just cuddle n have long convos. forgive but never forget- realist but rather optimistic. good w/ technology! imaginative/creative. near-sighted! rather selfish, i put myself 1st. love language is words of affirmation/quality time- stubborn! observant- sensitive.
a habit- i tend to drift away n just think? i care a lot abt how i look! i like bein the best so i get competitive. keyboard smashes!! i swear quite often. i like bein organised! i like makin faces!!
fun fact: math/history r my faves. sometimes im rlly hyper n say the most random things? i fear judgement, future, unknown, n failure. bilingual, learnin french! fr pda only hand-holding?
likes: gaming, affection, jokes (stupid/puns), space (stars), weapons (swords/guns), music, instruments (piano), animals, movies, books, philosophy, psychology, writing, exhilirating stuff, astronomy, mythology, etc.
dislikes: heat, presentations, naivety, stupidity, blind faith, stereotypes, being pressured, etc.
tysm!! shjsjsjs i changed it a bit- anyway, stay safe!! dont forget to take care of urself 💞
Hehe, you are most welcome dear!🥰❤🌻 I’m so happy you sent in another request! You are honestly so sweet! ❤🥰Soz for taking sooo long! I hope you enjoy this dear and I hope you are looking after yourself! Sending lots o hugs! 🌻❤ @x-joie-x
So I match you with………….. Napoleon
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The first time Napoleon meets you was when he legit grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him, as he tried to get you out of the mansion. It was not safe for a human in a mansion full of vampire, and this soldier wanted to get you out before it was too late. But alas it was just that, too late. By the time the two of you had arrived at the door from whence u came, it was sealed shut, and no amount of tugging or pulling could get it to open.
Comte, who had heard the commotion, stepped into the hallway to see you and Napoleon trying to open the door. He strode over to you and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder as he led you and the soldier to his study so he could explain. After a lengthy explanation about your current situation he named Napoleon as your personal bodyguard to help you navigate, the Paris of the past
To say you were starting to overthink and get anxious would be an understatement. Napo looked over at your quiet demeanour and scanned your face to find a glimpse of anxiety. After the conversation with Comte was over, Sabastion came to escort you to your room for the night.
The next few days you spent cooped up in your room. Too anxious to leave, u needed time and space to sort through your feelings. 
Your stomach started grumbling, but you just ignored it, cause honesty you were just too stubborn to go downstairs and ask for help. Napo had been pacing outside your door, trying to figure out the best way to coax you from your room. That’s when he heard the rumble coming from your stomach. He gently opens the door and strode into your room, “come nunuche, I made too many pancakes this morning, And I need some help finishing them.” Just as you were about to refuse your stomach gave another loud growl, cue Napoleon bursting out into laughter, “I think its best we feed that little bear before it gets angry.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle at Napo, as the soldier went from scary and intimidating to boyish and playful in 0.2 seconds. You smiled as you watch the former Emporer of France try to catch his breath through his full body laughter fit. He finally calmed down and grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the dining room. A new fit of laughter erupted from the man as you couldn’t help but crack a joke on your way there. The rest of the afternoon was spent cracking jokes and eating pancakes.
Napo found you incredibly amusing, especially how you could go from funny and playful, to awkward in 2 seconds flat. He loved to joke along with you and then tease you whenever you would turn into an awkward mess the second one of the other residents entered into the room. 
Especially Arthur, you would often get annoyed at his flirty comments and pick up lines, you absolutely left Napo in stitches when you made a sarcastically awkward comment back to Arthur on afternoon. Napo had learned by now that you were actually rather soft-hearted so the minute he saw the guilt flash across your eyes for being annoyed at Arthur’s comments, he squeezed your hand in reassurance, “don’t feel guilty nunuche, trust me he deserves it. Plus if you don’t believe me, just ask Isaac.”
Napoleon would invite you with him every day to help teach the children at his makeshift school. At first, you were somewhat socially awkward, but thanks to Napoleon and Isaac’s encouragement, you actually started teaching a class of your own. Napo loved how smart and passionate you were. You gave your all in teaching the children various topics, and honestly, Napo couldn’t help but fall in love with you. You taught them everything from maths to history, and the children absolutely adored you. So did Napoleon tbh, the man would take sneaky glances just watching you in your element. When stealing these little glances of you, a lovestruck foolish smile would dance across his face, which most certainly didn’t go unnoticed by Isaac or the children.
After class, Isaac would go off to his second job as a professor of the University, leaving you and Napoleon up to your own devices. Napoleon seemed to bring out that playful side of you, as the two of you goofballs would grab lunch at a nearby cafe. Or have a little picnic in the park, and just spend the entire time quick-firing stupid puns and jokes at each other. You sometimes get super hyper and start saying random words, which leads the two of you to have loads of random conversations. And TBH the two of you are always pulling silly faces at each other just for laughs. You live for those moments when u make a joke or pull a face, and monsieur de Whaha starts erupting with laughter. It is a true sight to behold, the way his whole body shakes, and the sight alone is enough to prompt you into your own laughing fit.
The day Napoleon knew you were the one and only woman for him, was the day he found you in the training hall. You loved swords and weapons so when you were helping Sebastian with housework one day, and you came across a vast display of swords, you were absolutely ecstatic. You wasted no time in picking up one of the swords and swishing it around. Napoleon walked into the room just as you pick up one of the swords and his eyes went wide, “pfft what in the world are you doing?” You narrowed your eyes at the man, as he chuckled, “practising, obviously.” 
Napoleon’s eyes lit up as he strode past you to pick up a sword of his own, “then I shall be your partner.” You smiled a broad smile as you went on the offensive and attacked Napoleon. The two of you spent the next few hours smack-talking each other as you fought. Napoleon enjoyed every moment of your fight and the way you were determined to win. He found that competitive side of you rather sexy, so much so that he decided to confess his feelings.
After you had beaten him, he proposed a rematch, but this time he raised the stakes. He went on the offensive, and just before delivering the final blow, he dropped his sword and grabbed hold of you. Smouldering jade blue eyes met your brown ones questioningly, and once he found his answer, he leaned down to kiss you.
The former emperor of France was utterly head over heels for your stubborn optimistic, competitive personality. He absolutely adored what a walking contradiction you were, being both a realist and optimistic, being organized yet messy at the same time. Napoleon had noticed early on in your relationship that you were rather closed off and slowly, but surely he managed to get you to open up to him. The two of you have had many a deep conversation while cuddling. 
He found that whenever you were snuggled in his arm, it was easy to pry information out of you. Especially when he would tickle you. He found out a lot during his cuddle interrogation sessions like how you feared judgement, the unknown future and failure, like how you actually care about your appearance and that you have a superiority complex. None of which scared him off, if anything he loved you more for it! Being sure to curb and banish all your insecurities with the sweetest words of affirmation and praise.
Napo like you, is also a bit of a romantic so this dork will 100% plan dates under the stars, especially after he found out about your love for astronomy and space/stars. He will definitely plan small quiet dates for the two of you, away from the loudness of the mansion. This boi will burst into your room in the afternoon, drag you to the stables, plonk you on top of a hose and before you know it you are sitting in his arms reading or chatting about anything from philosophy to psychology under the shade of a willow tree, surrounded by flowers.
Napo loves your writing, and this boi will insist you read him your fics whenever you finish them. He will spend the next ten days bragging about how amazing your writing skills are to everyone, even going as far as to say your a much better writer than Arthur. 
Knows you need space and alone time and will give you as much as it as you need. He knows you will come and find him once you want some company again. And once you do seek him out, he will crush you in a warm embarrass and whisk you off on some exhilarating adventure.
Mornings between the two of you sweethearts consist of soft, heart-melting moments. Naturally, the first thing Napo does when he wakes up is, plant a loving kiss on your lips. He will tighten his embrace around you as he cracks open his eyes to wish you a good morning all while nuzzling your neck. He knows you are a sucker for sweet words so he will be whispering the sweetest of endearments to you, in between lazy morning kisses. Best be sure this boy will complement and praise you every single day of your life.
Other potential matches…………….. Dazai
I hope you enjoyed this dear! 🌞🌻and I hope you have a super good day! ❤❤🌻
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honeymoonjin · 5 years
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Chapter Eleven
Summary: When you hear that your recently deceased grandmother left you her property in her will, at first you think that a dinky old cottage in the middle of nowhere isn’t going to mean much for you. But after spending a night there, you discover something far more valuable than the house itself: a hidden door that leads to another time, the same place but over 200 years in the past. In the late 18th Century, there is a king who will die before his 21st birthday unless you can save him. Will you help him, even if it means leaving your own life behind?
A/N: This chapter is a little different, it’s in Yoongi’s point of view. I was going to make it Chapter 10.5 since it kind of occurs alongside Chapter 10 chronologically, but I didn’t want anyone thinking it wasn’t necessary to the plot, because it definitely is. Let me know what you think!
--
"Can't you just let me go with you, hyung? I'll be good!"
This kid. Yoongi shakes his head firmly, hurriedly grinding some herbs together for a last-minute clarity charm. "You mess up enough here as it is. I can't leave something like this up to you. Besides, Y/n specifically asked for me to go, didn't she?"
The shaman tries to ignore the way Taehyung fixes his puppy dog eyes on his elder. "But what will I do when you're gone? I'll be all bored and alone."
Tipping the ground herbs into a small vial, Yoongi's voice is flat as he makes sure the vaguely green dust makes its way into the vessel. "Then go back to the palace and keep Y/n company. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid. Alright, I need to leave. Be sure to leave the portal door open, but lock the front door with the hex charm; do you remember it?"
Taehyung seems affronted at the suggestion. "Of course I can do a hex charm, Yoongi. I'm not incompetent, you know..."
Yoongi straightens up and stares at the boy who's pouting in the kitchen. Feeling a sliver of guilt, he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "Listen," Yoongi says, voice gruff but apologetic, "I'm just making sure. I'm trying to keep you safe."
"Forget about it," Taehyung mutters under his breath, studiously ignoring his elder as he grabs an apple for the road and shrugs on a coat. "I'm going, like you wanted."
Yoongi winces when the heavy wooden door slams behind his assistant, and he stands in silence, listening to the the light scrape of Taehyung’s fingernail against the door, paired with the muttering of an ancient Chinese spell. Most of the magic Yoongi used nowadays were more modern Korean methods, but for the more basic enchantments, it was common to use the original spells.
Finally, all was quiet again. Yoongi cleared his throat to try and break the melancholic gloom he had slipped into, and double-checked the minimal belongings on his person before he left. He was not going to be in the modern world long, would not even have to leave the confines of the house itself, but Yoongi never went anywhere without a small leather pouch of basic ingredients tucked into his belt, the glass vial of a clarity charm dangling on a cord around his neck, and a small blade in his boot. All things proceeding as planned, he wouldn’t need them.
The first thing Min Yoongi noticed about the future was how clean and bright everything was. Gone were his heavy curtains, dark walls and sooty hearth. He emerged out into a hallway (something only palaces were large enough to have in his time, but he was familiar with them nonetheless) with a strange spongy fabric floor and impossibly straight, flat walls that appeared painted uniformly. He couldn’t imagine the finesse it would take a painter to manage to evenly coat this expansive surface without leaving streaks. Perhaps magic was more commonplace in this day.
Yoongi had been here once before, to lure Y/n back to his time, but he had transformed into a cat, then, and it was the middle of the night, rather than the break of day. Unsure which direction to go, he followed the hallway left, until he made it to the very end. “She said the communication device was in her sleeping quarters. Here, she wrote down some instructions for its use.” Yoongi felt for the note again in his pocket, comforted by the crisp edge of the thick paper. He had read that note to the point of rote-memory, but was glad it was there anyway. All Yoongi had to do was locate a bedroom, and then the ‘phone’ would be on a wooden stand beside it. He was actually feeling some excitement unfurl within him to find this device; from Y/n’s description, it sounded like a very complexly enchanted item.
As Yoongi made his way from room to room methodically, ignoring everything that wasn’t a bed (even though he was desperately curious to try out the bath – something he recognised from his time, but seemed far more refined) he thought over his previous encounter with Taehyung.
Was there really such a need for Taehyung to take everything to heart all the time? That boy was too sensitive for his own good. It would get him hurt one day.
When Taehyung and Yoongi met, almost three years ago, the shaman wasn’t looking for anyone. In fact, he had sworn off ever taking an assistant again after… what had happened with the last one, but Taehyung was insistent. His parents didn’t want him working on their farm anymore, he had said, and the King’s Guard wouldn’t take him in. He would have nowhere else to go. Perhaps Yoongi should’ve seen that as a sign that the boy wasn’t a particularly capable worker, but instead he had opened his arms and welcomed him in. He never had been able to say no to a pretty face. Yoongi thought maybe that was his biggest flaw yet.
Behind the fourth or fifth door, past the small door in the wall from whence he came, Yoongi found a bed, wider and more lushly decorated than the modest shelf-and-blanket combination he had. Letting out a gasp of relief at the chance to distract himself from the memories of his assistants, he rushed forward into the room, scanning it for a wooden stand.
Directly to the right of the bed is a short, squarish cabinet. On top is a small metal box with glowing red numbers, a very glossy and crisp book, and a small black device. Yoongi consults with the slip of paper, and tentatively touches the tip of his finger to a protruding button. Gasping with wonder as the surface lights up, Yoongi realizes there are words on the screen, all gathered in small boxes. He takes the time to read some of them, having to re-press that button as the screen keeps going dark after a few moments.
   Jimin, 8:21pm: r you still busy at the house? can u please just text me back baby, if ur busy thats okay, im just a little worried out u, thats all… it’s getting late…
   Jimin, 10:49am: okay, im heading off to work, flick me a text when u get this xxx
   Jimin, yesterday 5:11pm:  we dont have to if you don’t want to
   Jimin, yesterday 4:28pm: date night tonight? xxx i feel like i havent seen you in ages baby xxx
There are more, but they disappear out the bottom. Yoongi frowns. He thinks he remembers this Jimin; if memory serves, it was the sleeping male curling up to Y/n when he briefly visited her dreamscape. Yoongi had been so caught up in making sure she fulfilled her end of the deal that he had almost forgotten she had a life outside of their time. Those messages were a sobering reminder of how much Yoongi was asking from her. How much she was giving up. He didn’t like that feeling.
Clearing his throat noisily in the early evening silence, he picks up the device delicately and places it on the bed, flattening out the note beside it. Y/n’s instructions make sense as he follows along, although it takes him a while to work out what she means by ‘text bubble icon’.
Once he reaches that screen, and clicks on the name ‘Jimin’, those same messages appear, but in a different format. “I’ve already seen these,” he tells the device. The device does not respond. “I seek to create one of my own.” He sighs. The magic on this glass apparently cannot react to voice, only touch. He reaches out and clicks on the small white box that says ‘iMessage’ in grey. “Yes, I do want to message,” he mumbles distractedly. A large array of small letters appears below. Y/n wrote down to tap each square to write the letter. It seems an awfully impersonal way of writing, and it takes Yoongi quite a long time to tap out what Y/n has asked him to write, as well as pressing a small blue arrow to the right, which pushes the message upwards, resting directly below those from the Jimin.
   omg im so sorry i missed these jiminie ㅠ ㅠ i hope ur not too worried.
   im ok, just not been feeling great so ive been sleeping a lot! im not sure yet if its contagious so pls dont come out, i know uve got that show coming up and i dont want u to get sick ok!
   love you lots baby!
Yoongi sighs once he finishes, resting back on the bed, but soon three bouncing dots appear in a box. He watches them dance, fascinated, wondering what this could mean, until they change into words. Y/n did tell him that Jimin would be likely to reply and had simply written on the bottom of the note, ‘no apostrophes, or capital letters, call him baby or jiminie, and make sure he doesn’t come out to the house!’
   Jimin: omg thank god ur safe i was worried!!! i can bring u round some fresh soup and we can have a night in xxx ive already had my flu jab so i wont get sick i promise lol xx
Yoongi swears, trying to speed up his reply, double-checking Y/n’s rules as he goes.
   thank you, baby, thats very kind of you. but please dont come out, im just going to go to sleep and hope that this sickness passes in time. i will notify you once
But before he can finish crudely dictating a message, a series of three hard raps echoes through the house. Yoongi stands up ramrod stiff. Surely the Jimin boy hadn’t arrived so soon? Although, Yoongi supposes transport must be more efficient in this time. He bites his lip nervously. Surely, it would be best to go ask him to leave. It was Y/n’s intention that Jimin did not come to the house, since she herself was absent, and Yoongi could not have the boy roaming around and discovering the portal’s entrance.
“Y/n?” a deep voice calls out, muffled through the walls. Yoongi swears under his breath and pockets the small device and the note, getting off the bed to go find the front door. “Are you there?” Hurrying faster, the shaman eventually locates a door with a clouded glass panel revealing a tall shadow. He fumbles with the doorknob, having to twist a key (thank God that technology hasn’t changed) to unlock it, and throws it open with a nervous huff. The man blinks once, furrowing his eyebrows. “Uh…hi?”
“Yes, hello,” Yoongi blurts out hastily, eyes roaming over the tall man. Although he saw Jimin in very dim lighting, it’s easy to tell that this is not the same man. “Who are you?”
The man is wearing rough-looking blue pants with a belt, and a tunic that’s cut at his hips instead of his legs. He holds a hand out to Yoongi. Yoongi stares at it until the man coughs and lowers it. “My name’s Namjoon. I didn’t mean to interrupt, I’m just here to speak to Y/n.”
“What-” Yoongi’s words catch in his throat when he lifts his gaze from the man’s odd attire to his face. It can’t be. A bolt of deeply-repressed hurt cuts through him. He recognizes those dimples, that smile, even the name is the same as his. It was a face he never thought he’d see again. But, no. It isn’t him. The more Yoongi looks at him closely, the man going a little red in the cheeks under the sudden scrutiny, Yoongi can see the finer details aren’t right. His Namjoon had a narrow nose, more delicate face. His Namjoon wasn’t as tall and was skinnier too. This man in front of him bore shocking resemblance, but it wasn’t him. It wasn’t his Namjoon. Sensing he had been silent too long, Yoongi blinks away the tears that threaten to well. “What for?”
“Oh, uh, it’s kind of private business, dude. Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”
“Y/n’s sick,” Yoongi says instead, “so I’m afraid you can’t come in. I’m more than happy to pass on a message.”
The man who looks so much like his former assistant furrows his brows. “I’m sorry, who are you? I’d like to speak with her. I’ve been doing some more research for her, you see, really cool stuff on-”
“I’m her doctor,” Yoongi says instead, “I’m concerned she may be contagious, so I’ve advised her not to have guests. If you have the research with you, perhaps I can bring it inside. I’m sure she’d appreciate you coming.”
The guy laughs awkwardly, then digs into a bag at his side for a stack of pieces of paper bound in some floppy, slippery pink material. “I didn’t have time to pick up a ringbinder, so the photocopies are loose, but I managed to dig up quite a bit of the history on the Jeon reign, as well as all the following generations. It’s interesting! Hopefully she’ll get some use out of it.” The man hands the research over, craning his neck to try and glance down the hallway. “Can you tell her hi for me? And that I’m sorry for stopping by without texting ahead.”
Yoongi nods, half in a daze. He doesn’t know this strange feeling in his chest; does he want this Namjoon-not-Namjoon man to leave and never think about him again, or does he wish he would stay so that Yoongi can see just how much similarity there was? The thought comes too late, as the man turns and skips down the gravel path, getting into his car and pulling away without a second look back.
The shaman shuts the door, returning the key to its previous position, and sinks down on the floor. First Taehyung acting up, reminding him of his last assistant, and now this. The fates were being cruel today.
Forgetting about the small device still in his herbs pouch, Yoongi quickly returns to the hallway and crawls through the doorway and back into his own time, trying to ignore the hot tears that gather under his chin.
--
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tomhollandarling · 7 years
Text
This Isn’t You
Request: Anonymous said: ok but like what if a villain is controlling peter and the villain makes him fight (name) who is also his gf and after he regains possession of his own mind and actions he apologizes to her swearing he’d never lay a finger on her and peppering her with kisses!!! pls make this happen?
A/N: This request was such a cute concept! I tried my best to make it realistic with the situation so I made the reader (girlfriend) have powers too. I’m not that familiar with writing action scenes or kiss scenes, but I did try my best and this was a good way to start developing those skills and practice writing it. Sorry its kind of long! I wanted to give enough time to create a reasonable fight. I may write a short drabble or would include of “Laying in Bed with Peter Parker” to make up for it.(also hopefully the perspective switches aren't that confusing) wow im a mess im sorry if you hate it
Word Count: 4561
Warnings: cursing, reader gets harmed
Masterlist
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Ever since Vulture had the nerve to mess with alien technology, more and more criminals and thieves alike began to jump on the bandwagon. It was months after Vulture’s capture but some of his weapons were still hiding in the nooks of New York waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. When discovered with the wrong hands, it was only a matter of time before crime rates surged again.
The setting sun marked another day gone as Peter Parker swung from rooftop to rooftop trying to catch rogue convicts. He halted along the blank concrete surface of an apartment complex, finally catching a break. Making his way to the edge and settling down, his back against the stone, he carefully lifted off his mask. The cool breeze of the nearing dusk instantly hit his exposed skin, soothing him as his chest heaved up and down.
It was quite an eventful night of crime. Already, Peter had ceased an attempted assault, robbery, and car theft. But what he didn’t expect was another electric blue explosion coming from his right in the distance; it was all too similar from months previous. The commotion reminded Peter of the ATM robbers and the night of Liz Allan’s party. It had to be the same tech. He pulled out his phone, tapping it a few times before bringing it up to his ear and speaking.
“I got another one. You up for it?” He paused for a few seconds, listening to the response before adding, “I’ll get there first, just track me.”
Peter’s eyes narrowed on the fading glow as he equipped the infamous mask once again and ended the call, swinging off in the direction the explosion spawned from. He stealthily neared the site: one of New York’s many parking garages, and waited out the remaining time in the shadows, just outside the entrance, until his backup arrived.
--
It was a surprise to get a phone call from Spider-man, but everything was a surprise when it came from him nowadays. You’d only recently learned about his true identity: Peter Parker. Being a vigilante yourself, you two had met fighting a band of gangsters one night. He’d saved your life that day. Without his quick thinking, there would’ve been a bullet lodged into your brain.
Deciding to keep your identities secret from each other was a compromise necessary for protection but eventually trust got in between that. It was careless as much as it was reckless but that didn’t stop you two. He knew your name and you knew his. Many of your nights ended with you falling asleep wrapped in his arms, him admiring the way your eyelashes fluttered.
Still, the both of you reasoned to fight crime separately, unless extra help was needed, in order to preserve the working relationship that had developed. Peter didn’t want anyone to use you to get to him and you’d thought the same for him. The two of you would take every other night off, one always going out while the other took a rest day.
Tonight was an exception. Slipping off your couch, you paced back to your room and closed your door as lightly as you could, turning the handle just before it made contact with the frame to avoid the click of the lock. It was only a matter of minutes before you had transformed into your other persona. Similar to Peter’s suit, yours was thin and skintight to achieve quick and fluent movements, only you didn’t have a full face mask and yours wasn’t designed by Tony Stark. Your mask solely covered around your eyes but it still did the job of concealing your identity.
You strapped on your heat protectant gloves and zipped up a hoodie to hide your suit before sneaking out of your apartment. Luckily, your father was working late and your mother didn’t pay much attention. Thanks to a mishap at the wrong place at the wrong time with supernatural energy, science gifted you the ability to manipulate and partially create fire.
“Hey, mom? I’m going over to (friend’s name) to finish up our project.” You lied without waiting for a response.
Traffic was heavy tonight, the city lights blinding, but you managed to get to Peter quicker than expected. He’d given you access to the tracking device located inside his suit for cases like this. Alien tech was tricky to take down so he needed the backup.
It was dark now, the sunset fading as the moon woke up and the first stars appeared. “Hey.” You said simply, squeezing his shoulder. “What’s the plan?”
He turned and embraced you in a quick hug, greeting you. “Hey!” He smiled from under the mask, “I know there’s at least one alien gun, maybe two. Could be dangerous-actually y-yeah. It’s dangerous.” He seemed to be regretting calling you for help.
You smirked, folding your arms across your chest. “I’m always up for a challenge, Spidey. Don’t think I can handle danger?” You faked offence, stepping backwards.
His head tilted side to side in sarcasm. You could only imagine his eye roll. “I just get this vibe. Why would they be shooting their guns like this? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
You pulled your mask from inside the sweatshirt pocket, right before you discarded the garment, and smoothed it over your face. “I got you and you got me. Don’t worry about it. We’ve done this before, remember?”
Just then, another explosion set off, emitting blue light once again. Residual waves of power spread from the source, forcing both of you backwards before Peter could respond.
“I know.” He checked his wrist web status.
“Okay, okay.” You said, becoming more serious. “You swing up there but stay hidden. Maybe I distract them and you can web the guns?” You improvised a plan. There wasn’t much time and you wanted to stop this childsplay as soon as possible. “Just don’t do what you did at the ferry again. We don’t need this car garage coming down on us.”
“That was one time! I got this.” Peter looked determined and he pressed a few buttons on his wrist. “Alright. You okay going up there?” He asked, stepping closer towards the building.
“Yeah, I got the stairs.”
--
Maybe it wasn’t the best of plans, but it would have to do. While you were weaving your way between the levels of the garage, Peter used the time to scope out the scene. He positioned himself on the outside of the building but in a place so he could see the level where the weapons were being fired. There were two men messing around with a few different guns, firing them at the walls of the garage, oblivious to the scene they were causing. To his surprise, they weren’t hurting anyone or holding someone hostage. Something’s off. Over the few months that Peter had experience with alien tech, the users usually had a motive. The gadgets were expensive and in most cases the risks outweighed the benefits.
“He here yet?” Another man appeared from the shadows. Peter instantly recognized him. This was one of Vulture’s original workers, one that got away months ago. Was he still selling weapons?
“I dunno boss. It’s only been like, ten minutes. Besides, these guns are sick. New designs?” The man looked to be in his late 20’s and didn’t seem to be too bright as he was handling the gun without care.
“These things are freaky, man.” The other commented, shooting a beam through a Ford truck, blasting a hole through the front door. It sizzled and sparked as smoke started pluming from the impact. The two chuckled giddily like they were getting away with something.
“Do you remember the plan?” He said with authority, ignoring the question. “We didn’t come here to have target practice, Marcel, Austin. Act like you care.” He spat.
Marcel, the man who had just shot the truck, spoke in defense, taking a few exaggerated steps closer towards him. “You think I don’t remember the plan? You think I don’t realize what shit I’m in? Why else would I agree to help your ass and risk mine?”
“Why? Why.” He repeated in disbelief, “That bug of a teenager ruined my life. Our lives. I had to sell all my shit in order to keep designing these weapons” He pulled out a smaller gun from his hoodie, waving it rudely in their faces. Were they talking about me? I’m not a bug dude!
Austin, the other man, mockingly nodded, “What’s in it for us?”
“Yeah. All you do is use us for your petty revenge plans. Remember Logan?” Marcel was referring to a previous job, Peter assumed. Probably one that went south.
“8 years! 8 years without a word from the feds or the Avengers and then that makeshift hero showed up and...well, you saw what happened to Vulture! It took some time but now I know how to ruin him.” He paced around angrily. Yep, they were definitely talking about him. This is a trap. Shit.
Peter quickly tried to find a way to alert you but he couldn’t move without the men noticing. Come on come on come on! There wasn’t anything he could do in time.
“Don’t you two remember how much you had before all this went down a few months ago?”
“We had Logan.” Austin hissed back.
--
It wasn’t too hard to locate where the commotion originated. Three men were fighting about something—not that you cared—and it was time to bring it to a close. They were on the 6th level and you’d taken the stairs so it took a bit to reach the men.
“Sorry to interrupt this family feud but...those weapons gotta go.” You confidently strode up from the stairwell, folding your arms, and facing the criminals. “You know those are illegal right?”
Marcel aimed his gun at you but their leader held up a hand to prevent him from striking. He grinned, “Now, what is a pretty girl like you doing out on a night like this?”
Your eyes shot daggers as you scoffed. “Oh, you know, just maybe, I’m here to take you fools down for those guns. Just a thought. You can’t shoot things off without someone noticing by the way.”
“Three against one isn’t that great of chances.” Austin spoke as a warning, his hand gripping his weapon.
“No Spider-man with you?”
“I’ll take that bet.” You eyed the smoking Ford in disappointment. “Someone’s gotta pay for that.” You taunted just for the fun of it.
“Shame.” He spoke, “Marcel! Now!”
As if on command, Peter swung in already focused on webbing Marcel’s weapon, while you evaded his blast and hurried over to take on Austin. It only took a second for the men to react; shots fired from the various alien guns filled the parking level as you and Peter dodged most of the attacks. The waves of power bouncing around were jostling but you balanced yourself as best you could.
Conjuring a ball of heat from your palms, you aimed it towards Austin’s hand and the gun which was now pointed at you; the metal from the gadget quickly heated up which forced him to drop the weapon. He grabbed his burned hand in agony, stumbling over his own feet.
“Bitch!” He yelled as you kicked the weapon towards Peter who was currently in the middle of trying to web Marcel. He webbed the contraption down to the concrete, making sure to leave some webbing clear of the barrel; he didn’t need another experience like the ferry.
The combat continued for another few minutes without any progress. Mostly, it was a continual cycle of dodging and shooting. Peter had performed a few flips during the action in attempt to get to a higher advantage point and you were searching for the other man who you assumed was the boss of Marcel and Austin. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen and there weren’t many cars in the lot besides the Ford and a smaller Toyota along with some maintenance vans. Where was he hiding? Did he flee? Austin charged towards you out of anger as he’d recovered from the shock of the burn. It took a while for your powers to warm back up again so you had learned hand-to-hand combat to make up for your disadvantage.
“Flare!” Peter called out your cover name. Peter was now using the destroyed Ford as a shield, periodically shooting webs towards Marcel. To his disadvantage, Marcel switched settings so the gun was acting as a shield. Peter’s webs weren’t helping him in the slightest.
“Yeah?” You called back, kicking behind Austin’s legs, bringing him down to his knees. Austin attempted to hit your face but you diverted his blow.
You finished Austin, successfully knocking him out, and turned to see what Peter needed help with. Rushing over to hide behind the truck where he was, you had another fire blast ready and waiting. He motioned for you to throw it under the vehicle where Marcel’s legs weren’t protected.
“You can’t hide forever!” He tisked, moving closer.
Peter held up three of his covered fingers, counting down. You nodded in a silent response. Once only one of his fingers remained, you rolled under the Ford and used the opportunity to hit Marcel’s knees. Simultaneously, Peter jumped over the truck and webbed the second gun down as well as Marcel. He was caught off guard and upset groans were filling the air.  
“Enough!” The third man reappeared, pointing his gun towards Peter and shooting. The turquoise blast startled the both of you as you were still focused on the previous victory. He was knocked back, his head slamming onto the concrete with a loud thud while the lightning-like lines of energy swarmed around him. Luckily, he was still moving. “This wasn't the plan!” He spat uselessly at his two unconscious men.
A piece inside of you tore open once you’d realized what happened. “Hey!” Immediately, you rushed over to the man, attempting to get a hit in but before you could succeed a web struck your arm, the momentum of the shot causing you to miss.
“What the hell, Spidey!” You yelled in frustration but another shot hit you again. Turning your attention to Peter, you had flames burning inside. He simply ignored your comments, attempting to hit you again.
You dodged his third attempt in shock, sliding to the right just in time. “What did you do to him?” You yelled towards the boss as you realized this wasn’t the Peter Parker you knew. He didn’t respond, only simply stepping out of Spider-man’s way and watching the scene unfold, smirking. “Hey! What did you do!?” You repeated.
Whoever was attacking you wasn’t your Peter, at least not at the moment.
“Just a little invention of mine. Nothing too special.” He finally responded.
The Toyota’s car alarm went off from behind you as Peter shot another web, missing. “Hey! Spider! Stop it, it’s me!” You cried out in desperation. How were you supposed to fight your other half, your partner? You dodged as many attacks as you could but soon Peter had you cornered. His powers and his suit were much stronger than yours as it was designed by Tony Stark. How could you beat that?
No matter the amount of times you called his name, no matter the amount of times you escaped his webs, he still pursued you. You were freaking out, panic was setting in, and you had no idea how to react. You’d lost the cocky confidence you displayed when fighting earlier. Now you were trapped and the only thing left to do was fight back.
“I-I’ll shoot!” You warned, manipulating another fireball, your arms outstretched in front of your face for protection.
He sauntered over, his head tilted to one side as he webbed your wrists to the wall in a split second before you could fire, not that you had the strength to fire at him anyways. You struggled, trying to twist your hands out from the sticky mess but it did no good. The durability of the webs were impressive. Damn it, Stark. You mentally cursed. Peter stopped right in front of you, his masked stare burning holes into your face.
“Stop for a moment, would you, Spider-man?” The boss came back into the picture, wiping down his gun with a cloth as if he couldn’t get any more comfortable. Peter stood still like a dog commanded to sit.
He towered over you with a gleam in his eyes. “I could make this stop you know. I just need some information.” He spoke, choosing his words carefully he added, “Who is Spider-man, really?”
A laugh bubbled over, making you crack a smile, giving you a boost of confidence. “Why don’t you take off his mask for yourself?”
As quick as your words left your mouth, the back of his hand left a burning mark on the side of your face. “I’m no idiot! Stark’s tech isn’t that easy to hijack!” He hissed as harshly as your face stung.
“Well apparently you can tell him what to do, so why don’t you tell him to take it off himself?” You desperately wanted to rub your cheek to soothe the pain. Your arms were starting to go numb from where they were bound above your head.
“Who is he?”
“You really wanna know?” Your voice was cracking, fear was slowly seeping in again, the coolness of the concrete consumed your remaining body heat.
He took a harsh step forward, a hand wrapped around your arm, his fingers digging in. You could already feel the bruises forming. “Yeah. Yeah, I do, Flare.”
“Go fuck yourself.” You whispered softly, voice breaking.
He whipped out a long blade, pointing it at you before handing it to Peter. Your stomach dropped from the fear and sudden realization of what was about to come. Your mind was scurrying to find a way out like a mouse trying to escape from a cat.
Peter played with the knife in his hands, running his gloved finger along the blade. He pressed the cool surface against your cheek but without enough force to break the skin. His mechanical eyes narrowed as his right forearm pressed against your collarbones to push you further into the wall. The pressure was immense. The fact that it was Peter fighting you made it a million times worse. This isn’t you, Peter. Come on! He was like a robot, soulless and unresponsive.
You longed to call out his true name aloud but you couldn’t risk it. You were heating up, beads of sweat were collecting at your hairline.
“Who is he?” He said a second time, enjoying watching you struggle.
You didn’t answer and in return the blade’s tip found its way to your jawline, dragging a thin stream of blood behind its path. You could feel Peter’s hot breath against your skin as he unconsciously followed orders.
Your hands started to burn, it was your body’s way of trying to protect you. Summoning another fireball, your palms started to melt through the webbing, allowing you to break free, knocking the knife out of Peter’s hands on your way down. Fed up, you used your charged hands to shoot a blast at the boss, hitting his right bicep. The flames bursted once they made contact. He laughed in surprise.
“Oh so she does fight back?” He commented, brushing the charred matter off.
“Stop this!” You screamed, trying to conjure enough energy for another hit. It was useless.
Dodging more webs coming from Peter and waiting for your fire to recharge, you managed to land a few blows on the man. He didn’t have any weapons as he’d given his knife to Peter and you assumed the gun was only for his sick and sadistic mind control. You were stronger than him, quicker than him, but with Peter trying to hurt you, it was impossible to take him down.
His gun clattered to the floor once you finally landed another blast, its impact echoing off the walls and pillars of the parking garage. Scrambling to reach it, you dove forward before anyone else could. There has to be some setting on it to undo this. The glowing orb inside of the metal casing was mesmerizing. Pastel lavenders and blues swirled together creating an oval of energy.
Peter charged towards you, forcing you to kick his legs out from under him at the last second. Guilt coursed through your veins.
You turned the gun on the man. “Turn. It. Off.”
“Or what?” He sassed back, unfazed by your threat.
Going on a whim, you forced your heat and energy onto the foreign orb. It was shaking you violently, but it seemed to be breaking down. Small fractures appeared on the surface, spreading quickly.
“I wouldn’t do that if--”
--
Everything was fuzzy. It was like he’d just woken up from a drug induced dream. His vision was hazy, clouded, and his ears were ringing from where he was positioned on the ground.
As if in slow motion, everything came rushing back. His image became crisp, sounds weren’t muted. A chunk of time had been stripped away from Peter’s consciousness. Then he remembered the pain occuring from the back of his head. He lifted his arm hesitantly, barely touching his head. He winced, feeling the tender spot.
The heat being forced onto the gun ultimately caused the device to explode, shattering the pillars of concrete. Dust and particles filled the air, inhibiting Peter’s sight. The building was coming down, car alarms going off, sirens wailing in the distance. Cracks in the foundation were getting deeper and small chunks of concrete were free falling from the levels above. The boy coughed and wheezed trying to gather his wits.
“Y/n.” He called, ignoring the dangers of using your real name.
He shifted his weight to his feet, steadying himself and peered through the rubble that was quickly gathering as each wasted second passed.
“K-Karen.”
“Yes?” The voice in his suit responded. “I’ve detected severe structural damage. Complete failure will occur in two minutes.”
Peter stumbled over his feet, “Find Y/n.” He inhaled sharply, his ribs were definitely bruised but all he cared about was you.
His sight was overridden as Karen used heat sensors and thermal vision to locate your inert body. Peter tried his best to maneuver his way through the concrete jungle. His dizziness was overbearing and as each fraction of time passed by, the building only became more and more unstable.
“Peter?” You rasped.
--
Your head ached and your body screamed for medical attention. Coming to your senses, you realized you were in a bed, Peter’s bed, with various blankets wrapped around you and a damp towel on your forehead to wake you up. You flinched, noticing Peter, and backed away out of temporary fear.
“You-”
He cut you off, “Shh, shh. I know. I know.” His face was pained, blood had dried around his lip and above his eyebrow.
“He-the gun-you.” You struggled form a proper sentence. “I thought you were gonna….”
“It’s my fault.” He interjected. “I should’ve been better. I let my guard down for one second and look what happened.” Peter sighed. He was still in his Spider-man suit, mask off with messy hair and puffy eyes. Had he been crying?
“Peter, it’s not your fault.”
“Then whose is it? Y/n, I hurt you tonight. Not the bad guy! I didn’t have possession of my own damn mind. I could’ve killed you!” He was shaking, his hands unable to stay still.
“But you didn’t. I handled it…” You trailed off, remembering what only happened hours before.
He stood up, pacing around the room nervously now. “Y/n, I cut this close to your neck.” He used his fingers as a reference to show the small amount of distance. “I-I should've been stronger.” He broke. “This is what I was scared of.”
“Peter, it's alright. We just have to learn how to handle alien tech. I think we both jumped into that situation too fast. It was a half-ass plan.” A small laugh escaped your lips.
You motioned for him to come nearer and you embraced him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your eyes pooled into his, capturing his attention. “I feel like a failure.” He admitted. “What if there’s a next time? What if I had used taser-webs? Or-or web grenades? Instant-kill mode? ”
“Hey, hey.” You calmed, “You didn’t. We’re lucky that guy didn’t know too much about your suit. We’ll be better next time. The both of us.” You reassured, enjoying his presence. He snaked his arms around your waist as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. Despite all of the fighting he did tonight he still smelled faintly of laundry detergent and fresh linen. You smiled into his suit.
“You didn’t fight back.” He whispered, tears threatening to leave his eyes.
“How could I?”
“Y-you didn’t fight back, Y/n. That’s what scares me. It-it wasn’t me in there--that man. You have to--I wouldn’t ever hurt you I promise-just…” He was lost for words. “I didn’t know this was possible.”
You left the comfort of his neck, looking back into his eyes. You wiped the blood off of his upper lip with the dampened towel. “Peter, as scared as I was, I knew I could find a way to get you back and I did. Some part of me knew. That gun is gone now.”
“What about the guy? We didn’t even get his name. He-he probably still knows how to make them!” He was panicking.
“Peter, look at me.” You said, gripping his shoulders. “We will heal and we will figure this out, but right now we just need to rest.” You pulled him down into the covers, your back pressed into his shallowly moving chest and stomach.
“I’m so sorry, Y/n.”
“Shhh.” You closed your eyes and let the darkness consume you. Peter’s hands made their way around your waist again to hold you close in an apology. His lips found the soft skin of your neck, his hot breath fluttering from spot to spot creating a swirling sensation within you.
“Peter.” You said breathily, entranced by his motions.
He continued his way along your jawline and cheek, delicately placing more and more. “I’ll never let that happen again for as long as I live.”
Your eyes met for the third time and you begged for more of him. He obliged, leaning in to capture your lips. So much emotion was flooding throughout your body, yet you were unable to move. It was as if time stopped and all that mattered was him. Peter continued to place small and light kisses across your face and neck, both of you giggling and breathing heavy. The warmth of the blankets and Peter’s embrace was enough to fill you completely with bliss. The compassion of his lips melted your resistance to sleep and you were quickly fading.
His fingers danced across your forehead, gently brushing strands of hair away. “Peter?” You slowly whispered, not wanting the moment to end.
“Hm?” He hummed, peppering more kisses along your hairline.
“Thank you for saving me.”
“Always.”
--
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hiccps · 7 years
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hey guys, im syre n im 21 from australia rip which is why i am here so late bc my ass just woke up (lets ignore the fact its 3pm) anyways this is the first time i’ve rped in a while so im rly excited n u know i love rps that arent set in the u.s so im super hype for this. this is very long n a real Mess so pls hit me up for connections, this poor child needs a good bff bc their life has gone 2 shitz n also come b my friend my discord is syre#9813
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[ JOSEPHINE SKRIVER ] — oh SHE/THEY ?? that’s just LUNA ROMERO, the TWENTY THREE year old GENDERFLUID that just graduated from nyu with a degree in CHEMICAL AND BIOMOLECULAR ENGINEERING. around campus, they were known as the QUIXOTIC, probably because they were really LOYAL, and also pretty IDEALISTIC but they’re actually a lot more than that. they’re coming to curacao in hopes to LIVE LIFE ONE LAST TIME. i wonder if they’ll accomplish it before they leave. 
death tw, shooting tw, depression tw, suicide attempt tw
serafina alegría lucia romero de luca born in rosario argentina
she was raised by her uncle who was only 18 at the time she was born and her grandmother
her uncle called her luna as a nickname because he said she was born on a full moon n she always lit up like one whenever she saw him
her father, who was only barely 22 was always away working to provide for her and her brother and rarely had time off to see them since he was working at the mines
her mother ran off when she was quite young, she can barely remember her face but her uncle says that her mother ran off to study in the U.S since she had her when she was 19 and her brother when she was 16
when she was about 7 years old her grandma had moved to the U.S permanently so she was raised just by her uncle who eventually moved her and her older brother cesar to new york when she was 10 years old
they lived in jackson heights since there was a lot of argentines there
up until she was like 13 she could only speak spanish but her uncle made sure that she studied and did her homework and he made sure that she spoke english to her brother and all her friends and only spoke spanish to him and her grandma
as she got older, around the age of 10-15 he had to work a lot more and she relied on her older brother more often
she used to follow cesar around and played soccer on the streets and followed after his friends
she was a “tomboy” and often referred to herself as a boy as well
but she also loved cooking with her grandma and said she was a girl whenever she was cooking
her brother used to tease her but she always responded that she can be both a girl and a boy n he never really argued with her
soccer was something she genuinely loved and she was also always good at math since it was the same when she was at school in argentina
n she missed argentina a lot so playing soccer in the streets with her brother reminded her of playing soccer in the streets in rosario
*shooting tw, death tw: when she was about seventeen, she was being walked home by her brother from school, they had gotten caught in a crossfire of a drive by shooting
her brother had pushed her to the ground to protect her and had gotten shot in the process and eventually died of his wounds
she was really broken from his death n felt like she didnt know who she was since she lost a huge part of herself
she fell into a deep depression n never really properly grieved his death
she lots someone who protected her and her uncle was still away for work
she pushed her grandma away and secluded herself from everyone else n she even deferred her first year of university
she felt like her brother and uncle abandoned her and she wanted to rebel so her uncle would come back
she wanted him to visit her n stay n look after her
she started going out to parties and skipping church which shocked her deeply religious, catholic grandmother
she was getting high, neglecting football and sleeping around
there were days where she didnt come home at all n eventually her grandma told her uncle who ended up moving back in to deal with her
he understood what she was doing n he promised that he wasnt going anywhere as long as she got her life back on track
but they still found it hard to address the fact she was depressed n would go days just staying in bed sleeping
both her grandma and uncle didnt want to admit that she had depression
she struggled with it throughout her university years on top of the burden of studying as well as not dealing with her brothers death
SUICIDE TW** she did try to take her life when she was 22 coming up to the anniversary of her brothers death but her uncle found her n rushed her to the hospital
from that day he tried to educate himself on depression n was always looking at different ways for her to cope n even took her to a psychologist
he put all his attention on her mental and physical health n was always worried about keeping her alone
which is why he was slightly hesitant but still overall supportive abt her going to curacao. he did suggest that he come with her smh so that they’d go to argentina at the end of the trip to visit her dad
but yeah thats all i have for her
PERSONALITY + FUN FACTS
shes very open about things that dont have to do with her brothers death like family life, where her parents are, genderfluidity, sex life, love life, soccer, body you name it, her depression but not where it stems from
she plays the piano!! her fave piece is kiss the rain by yiruma
super idealistic n it was also ingrained by her uncle?? she used to always say she wanted to marry her uncle n he always reinforced it like no one is ever going to love her like he does n if inevitably, someone does pique her interest she has to promise that she wont settle for anything less than the best n shes gna be with someone who loves her almost as much as he loves her
she wants to pursue soccer professionally n play for argentina’s womens football team!!
up until her brothers death, only a few people called her luna n her grandma still refers to her as serafina but after his death she only went by luna
she comes from a deeply religious catholic background btu shes more spiritual n only goes to church to appease her grandma
idolises lionel messi, a true argentine treasure
her great grandparents from her dads side moved to argentina from spain n her grandparents from her mums side moved to argentina from italy
she is left handed n left footed
her position is right wing n considers herself 2 be a playmaker
huge nail biter
identifies as panromantic pansexual
she can speak 3 languages, english, spanish n portuguese
loves to dance, gets real rowdy
huge drinker, can knock down 5 shots just for pregaming
adopted a cute lil chow chow named brutus in honour of her brother
aesthetics: hiccups, nipple piercings, canola fields, drinking cold water on a hot day, tripping on a flat surface
yall know my dude is supporting argentina for the wc
huge fc barcelona fan (has nothign to do with messi)(it has everything to do with messi but lets not get into it)
loves the beach n water in general
also loves full moons
swears like a sailor
loves seafood, allergic to prawns though
her favourite romance movies are before sunset, eternal sunshine of a spotless mind, when harry met sally & pretty woman
that being said she feels like she n clementine kruczynski are the same person
wanted connections: 
best friend: they were best friends as kids and maybe dabbled into feelings but decided ultimately they’d stay as best friends [ alvaro ]
best friend 2: basically ride or die, fuck shit up together, cry over shit together, fight people for each other [ evie ]
best friend 3: 
roommate: [ isa ]
ride or die: [ cindy ]
frenemies
love n hate banter relationship: [ ingrid ]
ex gf/bf/partner: 
ex bestie
neighbour??
dorm room roomie
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