#pls just make it stop im BEGGING i cant do this anymore

[butimjustaliar]

i still dont know whether guilt tripping people into donating to those in need is completely the wrong course of action or the only right one

[kingkaizen]

𝓫𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓬'𝓼

∘ desc: breeding scenarios revolving around the jujutsu kaisen boys, hope you enjoy <3

∘ ft: gojo, geto, nanami, sukuna,+ choso

∘ a/n: first post on the blog! im so excited for you all to read. pls let me know if you want something similar for different characters, i'm open to ideas!

∘ includes: nsfw, breeding, dirty talk, creampie, crying

Gojo

↠ this man has one of the biggest breeding kinks, this isn’t up for debate he’s so serious

↠ he can’t help but love the possessiveness of it all, the way you squeeze around him so tight while he mumbles over and over about how much he wants to fill you up

↠ “Fuck princess, you’re clenching around me so hard..makes me wanna give that pretty pussy what it deserves.”

↠ “Yeah, you want me to cum inside you baby? How bad do you want it? Tell me baby.”

↠ he can’t really make out your desperate response, but he could tell how much his words are affecting you by the way your back begins to arch paired with your eyes rolling to the back of your head

↠ the thought of getting you pregnant turns him on much more than he’d like to admit to you, why wouldn’t he want to put his claim over you in the most primal way possible?

↠ gojo can’t stop himself from pounding into you harder, reaching impossibly deeper as he presses your legs against your chest 

↠ “I can’t wait to see you all full with my cum, with our child.” 

↠ his fingers stroke at your clit before moving up to rub your tummy

↠ “right here? im gonna fuck a baby into you.”

Geto

↠ geto’s breeding kink isn’t something that he’s ever mentioned to you before

↠ truthfully, it isn’t really something that he’s put much thought into in the first place

↠ it’s more of an “in the moment” thing

↠ he’s always been very rational, but all sense goes out the window once he hears your voice

↠ “god, you always sound so cute for me. begging for my cum just how i like.”

↠ he wants you to tell him how much you want it. He won’t give it to you unless he knows how desperate you are

↠ but even then, he knows that there’s no way that he could ever deny you anything

↠  so when he finally does let it all go, he doesn’t stop until you’re shaking underneath him

↠ “i’m gonna fill you up again and again until i cant anymore, you deserve it all.”

Sukuna

↠ breeding to sukuna is a privilege

↠ he doesn’t care how needy you get, if you don’t deserve it, he won’t give it to you

↠ he’s a huge tease, so even if you think you’ve been good, he’s still never going to make it that easy

↠ he loves it most when you work so, so hard just to prove it to him

↠ with your hands gripping the sheets beneath you, he has you on all fours, towering over you casually as you push back against him

↠ “god you’re such a slut, i didn’t think you were this desperate to get me off.”

↠ his laugh sounds so sinister coming from him, smiling so wide at the way your arms shook as they began to give out

↠ sighing deeply, he braces a hand against the headboard, other hand gripping your waist as he finally moves you on his cock himself

↠ “you’re so pathetic, making me do all the work when you promised you could make me cum yourself. i guess you’d rather have me finish on your back then, hm?”

↠ the sound of your whining in response makes him feel that much more powerful

↠ “calm down, im just kidding. i’ll make sure you take it all inside of you like a good girl.”

Nanami

↠ nanami isnt someone that i can see wanting kids

↠ sure, he probably would be very good with kids but it isnt something that he necessarily wants for himself

↠ the only aspect of this kink that nanami enjoys is the mess

↠ sex with him is always so passionate, he puts his everything into making you feel good

↠ he can’t help but crave the sight of his cum leaking out of your cunt, and the way it always leaves you twitching and begging for more

↠ “you always feel so good, getting me so worked up already.”

↠ after he’s through with you, he never stops there

↠ carefully placing your sore legs back down from their previous spot on his shoulders, he slowly plunges his fingers into your core

↠ he’s almost ashamed of himself by how much he gets off to your fallen tears as he scoops his cum from inside of you, hushing your soft hisses with rough kisses to your face 

↠ “c’mon baby, i want you to see how good we taste together.”

Choso

↠ breeding for choso isn’t about the potential risks or even the mess

↠ he simply just wants to bury himself deep inside of you, completely losing all and any sense of control

↠ he never really indulges you in this kink unless he really just needs to let off some steam

↠ seeing you wear literally anything is enough to get him in the mood, he’s so attracted to you

↠ you were both on your way to meet up with some friends, but he couldn’t help dragging you into the bathroom

↠ you soon found yourself being fucked against the wall, choso not having a care in the world about anyone who could just walk in

↠ “i’m sorry baby, i couldn’t wait, j-just wanna be inside you.”

↠ he thrusts into you with such urgency, so needy for his release so that he can watch the way his cum trickles down your thighs

↠ your nails dragging down his back while creaming all over him sends him right to the edge, loud and desperate groans making its way to your ears as he sets you back down

↠”now you’re gonna walk back out there and hold my cum inside of you until we’re done here, okay?”

© kingkaizen | do not copy, steal, or duplicate!

[peachy-wolfhard]

dating toge inumaki

rawr :3 sorry if this doesn't make any sense. if u know what horror game i mentioned shout out. its long bc im a d1 yapper

word count: 975

warnings: swearing, food, horror video games

I LOVE toge i am the number one toge inumaki lover srry not srry

First things first…he's a menace. Walks up behind you and pitches under your ribs, bops you on the head with random items (gently), bites like a cat (u know when ur petting them and then they just randomly bite? Like that)

While yes he does make your life HELL he's also a sweetheart

Flowers regularly, movie nights every week WITH snacks, super duper secret sleepovers (it used to be a secret then panda found out and insisted on joining), dates that last all day then inevitably end in a sleepover

Loves taking you to the arcade with those really hard claw machines so he can flex how good he is at them, even better if they're the ones with anime figures in them

“Oh my god look at it! It looks so dumb i love it” tapping on the glass at a plush seal with balls 

“Salmon” he giggles tapping the card

While Toge loves to go on dates outside of your dorms and the school there are some days that neither one of you has the energy to go out. These nights mainly consist of the both of you cooking dinner together, watching those random 4 hour long videos about random subjects, and falling asleep in each others arms

Speaking of curse speech, he adds new words just for you!

His favorite way to greet you is saying honey

“Hi baby” you say, wrapping your arms around Toge, not caring about how sweaty you are from training.

“Mhm, honey” he whispers, burying his head into your shoulder and wrapping his arms around you, rocking sideways back and forth

To outsiders Toge seems so quiet and reserved but rest assured he has the biggest yappetite EVER like 40 messages in under a minute because whatever thought he has at the moment he NEEDS to tell you them

Some messages are sweet

“Hi bb i love u sm i cant wait to get my “grubby” paws on u ;) n e way i got u stuff”

“Hi brawling rn just wanted to say i luv u sm adn i cant wati for snuggles and love.”

But most are just random thoughts he has

“wass good bbg? <3 do u think panda can get fleas?”

“HELLO MY LOVER URGENT MESSAGE I JUST HAD TEH WORST FOOD EVER I AM ILL PLS BRING GINGER ALE AND TUMS IM DYINGGGGGGASDGJKNSKFNGBKAD”

“bbg check this out” *picture of a really ugly curse* “looks like u :3”

Loves playing videogames with you even if you don't like them he just sits you on his lap and plays anyway

Even if you don't like video games he still makes you play horror games with him, especially if everyone is with you.

“Oh my god i hate this. I don't wanna do this anymore”

“Just keep going forward, it's almost Toge’s turn anyway” Yuta says, slightly giggling at your anxious self.

“No no no nononono i don't wanna do it! Maki help!” you shout, begging your best friend to take over but failing.

“Just sprint, you're gonna be fine” Panda adds leaning over the couch.

“MY TUMMY HURTS I CANT…ok ok i'll sprint..” you say pressing the sprint button and running up the stairs. Just as your character gets into the next room, one of the bosses drops down from the ceiling.

“FUCK NO FUCK NO STOP PLEASE GO AWAY,” you continue to shout as your friends yell for you to run.

Your friends are sick of you…correction, Maki is sick of you two

Everytime she comes into contact with the two of you you're always cuddling, kissing or just generally being lovey dovey. Half the time you and Toge are cuddled up in what looks like the most uncomfortable places.

Desk chairs, chairs in the common room that are as hard as rocks, etc. If there is an uncomfortable place to sit rest assured knowing that the two of you will be snuggled up together

Speaking of pda, he's so sticky 

Toge loves to just be around you whether it be holding your hand, wrapping his arms around you or just standing near you

“Parallel play” is a big thing for you guys since conversations are fairly short (sorry king) as long as you two are in the same room he's happy

Most days consist of one of you working on homework or any other work and the other one just being near

On the rare occasion that you and Toge aren't attached to the hip both of you are texting nonstop

y/n

“meow hi love of my life”

toge

“Good afternoon dear lover, I wish I could be with u rn but alas I am at war and the outcome is looking bleak. But trust me I will return home with goods. Love ur awesome bf”

y/n

“ur putting ur thesaurus and dictionary to work ga damn”

toge

“im gonna bite u”

y/n

“try it coward ill rock ur shit”

toge

“EAT MY BUTT”

One last thing…he’s 100% a food thief 

Does not matter what you have, he is sneaking some of it whether you know it or not

Toge WILL eat your leftovers you've been looking forward to all day

No matter what you have, he always has a little of it. I mean YOU'RE eating it, it must be good

“Taste testing” is another thing he does, he says it's because he doesn't want you to be poisoned but in reality he thinks its funny how annoyed you get about it

Take out you two have had millions of times? Taste tested. Food your friends bought you two? You can't trust them! Taste tested. Food YOU cooked? Might've been poisoned, Taste. Tested.

All together he loves you so much…maybe i'll make a part 2

[vamp4kaulitz]

I BEG PLS DO A BILL KAULITZ X FEM READER WHERE YOU PEG AND DEGRADE HIM PLS PLS PLS PLS LIKE THE IDEA OF BILL WHINING UNDER U UGHHH

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 || 𝐁.𝐊

pairings: sub bill x fem reader

warnings: degrading, pegging, reader riding bill like there’s no tomorrow, whiny bill, reader lowk being a asshole, teasing, face sitting, p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it!), crying out of pleasure, mentions of toys, and overstimulating.

a/n 💌:: omg gais im so sorry for not posting in a while, i lowk forgot i had tumblr😭😭 i will start posting more if i don’t get lazy!! wrote in all lowercase. not proof read.

“bitte mama…! i need you right now..” bill whined as he slowly grinded on your hand, trying to get something out of it. right now, you were watching a movie and bill has been needy all day, constantly begging and wanting attention. “i thought i told you i will help you after the movie is done, can’t you behave?” you rolled your eyes at him..but you couldn’t lie, you liked seeing him rut against your hand like a lil’ bitch in heat.

“b-but— you’ve been neglecting me all day..! i can’t hold back anymore mama, i cant cum without your help..” bill argued as he continued to be the needy bitch he is. you ignored all his pleas, continuing your movie. bill whimpered and got up from the bed, walking over to the closet and pulling out a box, that reveals all the sex toys he owns.

he walked back over you and laid next to you. you heard all his little cute noises, making you want to fuck him already.. “mama…bitte..” he begged as he started to rut against your arm again. you finally got enough and you paused the movie and threw the remote and grabbed a fistful of his hair. “you just can’t wait can’t you? so fuckin’ desperate that you gotta rut against me. sluts like you don’t deserve to fucked.” you growled and he whimpered. “m’ sorry mommy..” he whimpered and you scoffed.

“slutty brat, you only care about your pleasure.” you rolled your eyes and then kissed him. as you both kissed, your hands snaked down his waist, taking off his black and white pajama pants. you threw them somewhere and took off his boxers, his red and throbbing tip greeting you. “aww, did i really neglect you this much?” you chuckled as precum oozed out of the tip. you slowly stroked him, letting his precum coax your hand and his dick. he whimpered as he gripped onto his pillow..aw how cute.

“s-stop teasing me!” he whined. you heard buzzing coming from somewhere and you looked for the source and found his pink bullet vibrator. you smirked as you saw his pink tight hole squeezing the vibrator. “such a slut, wanting me to touch you like this. is the vibrator not enough for you slut?” you chuckled and slapped his tip. you took it all in one go, making him moan loudly. you started to work your way with him, using both hands. he threw the pillow and gripped your hair like there was no tomorrow. “f-feel so good mommy—!!” bill moans loudly as he started to thrust his hips upwards. he started to push your head down as he thrusted upwards.

a few minutes later, he started twitching in your mouth, obviously showing he’s about to cum. after one last thrust, he slams your head down and cums into your mouth. you pull away from him and swallowed all his cum. “tasty.” you smirked as you watched him try to catch his breath. you took off your shorts and panties, revealing your wet dripping cunt.

bill literally moaned at the sight of your wet cunt. he knows he’s the only one who gets to see such a sight like this, and it makes him even more harder. you grabbed your phone and turned up the vibrator inside of him, making him moan loudly that could be passed as a scream. you grabbed his tip, taking him all in one go, catching bill off guard. “m-mommy—! w-wait..please..!” he moaned as he gripped the bed sheets.

“oh? but this is what you’ve been begging for all day? your gonna take it like the good fucking whore you are.” you said and took off your hoodie, revealing that you had no bra on. you lifted up and started to move your hips, his dick hitting inside your warm walls. bill grabbed your waist, gripping the fuck out of them. you gripped onto his neck, slightly chocking him. all his little pathetic moaning only turned you on more.

you felt him twitching inside of you, making you chuckle. “aw, is my little pathetic bitch boy already cumming? is this all you got?” you teased as you tightened your grip around his neck. bill face was so messed up, his eyeshadow and mascara running down his face, his sweat making his messy hair stick to his face. “so fucking ruined, all for me.” you smiled, as you started to ride him faster.

“come on bitch boy, cum inside of my warm pussy, you wanted it so much right? now you’re gettin’ it.” you spat. bill started to thrust upwards, him slamming your g-spot. you threw your head back and started moaning, clenching down on his dick. “thank you so much mommy, m’ gonna cum all in this pussy, m’ gonna get you pregnant with my babies..!” bill groaned out and with a few more thrusts, he came inside of you.

he pulled out of you, collapsing on him. you both were out of breath, all sweaty, sticky, and hot. you gave him some sweet neck kisses, to show affection. only a little while later, you felt yourself getting tired. you started to close your eyes, only to have them shoot open as bill entered his dick back in you and started to thrust his hips.

“b-bill—!” you shouted, moaning loudly as it caught you off guard. “m’ sorry mommy, but i need to cum in this pussy once more!” he said. you were really in for a long night huh?

a/n💌:: i wrote this in one fucking sitting💀, anyways gais I might open up requests again! I js need to finish up some other stuff:3 hope you enjoyed, tysm for reading!!

pic credits: estachinita and 7kaulitxz on pinterest

—hika🕷️

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

[sillyt-boymutt]

If u rlly wanna cum hard for me ull take ur pillow into the bathroom n rut against it like a good slut for me

Want u to imagine ur on my lap n im letting u use me cause i know ur so fucking desperate i can feel the wet spot forming on my jeans from where u are sitting on my thigh n so i start by teasing u telling u how good u are for me n u keep rutting into my thigh cause u cant stop urself cause ur ive gotten u so worked up

U keep rutting into me over n over until ur a whining fucking mess n i tell u to cum cause i know that wont be it for u

Ur too good for me to just cum once so i make u cum again and again and again never once touching u just letting u use my thigh which is now soaked n then when ur too fucked out to move anymore ill grab ur hips n make u rut till u cum again for me while u whine n moan begging me to fuck u cause ur never satisfied u always want more huh puppy

Keep fucking that pillow puppy n think about that n i want u to cum so hard for me ok be so good for me puppy come on u can do it be a good boy for me

Hmmm hope that helps u when u get off for me dumb pup i know u cant do it on ur own need me to tell u what to do n tell me everything n im still waiting to cum n want u to tell me to cum too pls ill be good n wait for my puppy

- 🦇

hng i did it and my friend asked why and i made up some lame joke about how it just gives me comfort then i turned on the subject so she couldn't hear my pants and whimpers as i humped the pillow and bit into my fit so hard it'll probably bruise and i'm still humping it just dripping as i write this and fuck the more i re read this the closer i get and my little boycunt is throbbing and hng i need to be desperately rutting into your thigh and gripping and pawing and you begging you to touch me fuck fuck daddy i'm cumming thinking about it just ruining my boxers all for you please cum you've earned it fuck it's gonna be so embarrassing to walk out of here 😖😵‍💫

[weirdcat1213]

YEY THE HORRORS i mean YEY THE BOOKCLUB :D

thoughts on volume 6 (oh boi we're almost halfway someone hold me pls)

chap 1:

-OH MY GOD ITS HIM I FORGOT ABOUT HIM FOR A MOMENT (not in general, ik he's in 98)

-HEY HIS WINGS MAY BE CREEPY BUT THEYRE ALSO BEAUTIFUL TO ME >:[

-HOWEVER i love how yeah they are scared af but also get that vash as a person is not bad and they don't leave his side

-WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOUR BF LIKE THAT STOP STOP STOOOOOP. IDC THAT HE IS A LITERAL LASER CANON HES STILL JUST A LITTLE GUY

-are we...supposed to notice how bad the state of the gun is or...?

-nono brandon is right, i would also not give good guns to cops

-vash i fucking swear-

-SHUT UP YOU FUCKING COP >:[

-BRO WTF

-YEAH BRANDON CALL HIM OUT

-MY FAVORITE WEIRD CREATURE IS HERE

-ok in my 1st read didnt get that, idk why but i was confused about meryl getting worried for some reason. but she has a (sad) point. will one day the ptsd related to violence and guns be enough to make vash not shoot his gun? shes asking an interesting question. shes literally asking how much can vash take imo.

-wait so...was the replacement gun...the one in stampede??? (i will compare them later)

-DONT LOOK AT ME WITH THOSE GENTLE EYES MAN CMON

-I didnt notice he took the punisher lmao

chap 2:

-:c wolfwood having nightmares its not even a hc, IT IS CANON

-NOT THE FLASHBACK OF VASH CRYING BLOOD OUCH NO PLS NO

-:c im not even mad at wolfwood calling vash a monster cuz it must be fucking TERRIFYING but it still hurts :c

-you could...but youre not gonna

-"so yeah you cant be there for every problem in the pla- HOLD UP WHERE ARE YOU GOING"

-lmao meryl is like me fr

-this time i got most of the fight but i think we can all agree the mpv was the table

chap 3

-YEY LEGATO IN THE.....metal handbag?

-YES ELENDIRA FUCKING READ HIM

-OH MY GOD HES HERE HES HERE OH GOD NO

-i remember i was so confused i didnt realize THATS HIS FUCKING TONGUE

-also did double fang kill trail of death?

chap 4:

-OH I LOVE THIS SCENE SM. i also hate walking in a place with a shit ton of people

-YES IT IS BABY, THATS THE SAME CHILD YOU [so so redacted] WOOOOOOOOO (i love this chapter)

-oh...yeah that...oh

-"we cant survive without her power, neither can you" dude...dont...just dont

-ah yes. the hair. yeap. just a cool artistic decision. yeap.

-also i forgot how fucked up the last run was here

-oh he felt it, i saw that in his eye

-oh so he also went apeshit....ohhhhh. ok so if vash went apeshit cuz of a physical fight or flight reaction (I THINK) did knives go apeshit cuz of hate? the physical need to kill people in revenge? nice

-BRO WDYM "why not just end this crusade?" YOU JUST SAW WHY HE WOULD NEVER END IT

-oh that was his last straw. one thing is him being tricked by a human but that lie affecting his brother? the one thing he's trying to protect (yes ik he's not doing the greatest job at it) from humans? yeah no you gotta die

chap 5:

-NO. NO. NONONONONONON NOT THIS CHAPTER NO

-I HATE THE METAPHOR ALREADY (i love it. i want to yell at nightow my thoughts about it. i will never be normal about it)

-pls no. im begging you. pls dont make me read this again. this is when my sanity starts to break into little raggedy pieces of paper

-i just notices this change happens cuz he got HIS MEMORIES BACK WHAT IF I ENDED IT ALL

-i dont want to read anymore

-its just. so fucking hard. like ik we say hes jesus. but at the same time jesus never felt like that. jesus was born without sin but in vash's eyes he is full of sins and no one can forgive him. bro, honey, god would forgive you anything. you are his favorite im sure. but no matter the arguments for the allegory vash can never be jesus cuz he carries the pain of his "sins" everyday PLUS THE ONES FROM THE HUMANS. idk. im sad and tired. my baby. its ok i forgive you. and im sure rem forgives him. im sure. im sad

-anyway, back to the kinda normal thoughts

-also i think vash thinking he has to forgive himself is kinda flawed. like instead of forgiveness he has to accept what happened and i think those are different things. ofc yeah july was messed up but he never intended to do it. idk

-ANYWAY

-huh, those speakers look like eyes

-cant even swallow in misery in peace anymore lmao

-:c not the day drinking

-i think thats vash talking but yeah....nothing is easy for my guy. hes kinda right, better than crying ig...

-i prefer spike-isms but i will also take needle noggin-isms thank u

-that man can move in such unnatural ways *hears the uncanny vash people cheer at a distance*

-oof, the ptsd got meryl

-also the question is not whether vash was going to take the bullet or not, the real question is how hard does that question makes me cry

- SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP

-OOF, i mean i 100% get meryl but OOF

-also YES THATS WHAT I FUCKING MEAN. AND I READ THIS ON [redacted] A FEW WEEKS AGO. THE BALANCE BETWEEN EXTREMES ITS JUST NULL, ITS NOT A COLOR AT ALL. his love and faith in humanity vs the pain they cause him...that balance creates a colorless emotion and IM SAD ABOUT IT.

-i hate that final page. i fucking hate milly protecting meryl from her memories while comforting her while protecting her from the rocks, i hate the people still insult vash even when he was long gone, i hate to see the children who saw the same thing as their parents try to convince them to stop because they know vash would never hurt people on purpose only to be ignored..and more than anything i hate vash apologizing for something he has no control over.

-ALSO I ALSO FEEL LIKE CRYING VASH-

[let it be on the record that i needed a minute to continue with the volume]

chap 6:

-OH NO IT STARTS

-"how could i have known?" youre telling me you spent years studying yourself and other plants and never saw one with black hair? really? (im not saying its a plot hole, im saying he was too distracted being a dick)

-so that was his imagination im assuming

-TESLA MENTION WE WIN

-OH GOD OH NO PLS GET ME OUT OF HERE NO PLS NOT THIS

-i love her dialogue with the funny glasses lmao, she really was the only mom ever

-oh..here come the tears

-oh right..they used to be like this

-oh...oh god

[milesworld96]

FINALLY GETTING TO WATCH RAW YALL, I AM SO EXCITED

SAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HIIIIII❤️ oh, the ko shirt. That’s fine. That’s funny. Hilarious even. Wow. 😢, I ALREADY MISS ZOWENS. GRRRR BRO GOT ME IN MY FEELS☹️☹️☹️ SIR⁉️⁉️⁉️ WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATERIAL⁉️⁉️⁉️ FUCK YES. wait bro wym the reason he ain’t on raw anymore, YO WHY U BRINING JEY INTO THIS. yalls ☹️☹️. I CANT. Yo Sami speaking the truth, I love him. OHHHH SHIT JUDGEMNT DAY😍😍😍 OH LAWD THEY LOOK SO FINE. GIRL???? RHEA IMMEDIATELY GETTING DEFENSIVE OF DREW WHEN DAMIEN BROUGHT HIM UP?????? IS THIS A SIGN. damn so Rhea basically saying Sami is the orphan no one wants💔 GIRL JEYYY, GET UR MANS‼️‼️‼️‼️ Sami listen to Jey💥💥💥 WHY R U IFNORING HIM NO😭😭 LOOK AT JEYS EYES‼️‼️ HOW CAN YOU LEVE HIM

SHINSUKEEEE😍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 WAIT FALSE COUNT ANYWHERE⁉️⁉️ OOOHHHH SHIIIT, OH MY FUCK THIS MATCH IS SO SLAY LIKE WHAT🤯🤯 THESE MOTHER FUCKers ARE CRAZY, RICOCHET BRO WGATST. NUNCHUCKS⁉️ BRO MICHELANGELO FR BRO THEY GOING FUCKING CRAZY MAN. WOOOOOOOO SHINSUKE FUCKING WON

OMFG SAMIJEY SPOTTING AGAIN😭😭😭😭😭 SAMI WHAT THE FUCK. I UNDERSTSND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM BUT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ stop blaming Jey‼️‼️‼️‼️ Yeah Jey speak it‼️‼️ Girl Sami going through it don’t worry bbg you’ll be fine. SAMIJEY MAKE UP AND HUG WOO🫶🫶

OMMGGGGGGG TEGAN AND NIKKI‼️‼️‼️😍😍😍😍🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 OOOOO CHELSEA AND PIPER R HERE TOO😭😭😋😋 lol Katana and Kayden spotting too. OMG TEGAN V CHELSEA? YES PLEASE

HES PIPER IS ABOUT TO SERVE SO MUCH CUNT, I LOVE HER. LETS FUCKING GO. AND I WAS RIGHT, SHE MOTHER FUCKING DID. YEYSYSHHSHDSYSYEESHSH. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TEGAN MY LOVE HAAAAIIIIKKI :33

IMPERIUM PROMO VID LETS GO, THEY ARE SO COOL I CANNOT DO THIS. I LOVE THEM, CANT WAIT 4 LUDWIG & GIOVANNI TO BE CHAMPS SOON

DAMIEN FINN & DOM DOM. bro why yalls thinking bout JD like that, GIRL NAH THEY TRYNA JUMP DREW😭😭 DomDom is such a mama’s boy. I LOVE THEM, ENOUGH WITH THE CONFLICT NOW. LET THEM ALL BE HAPPY 2GETHER FROM NOW ON☺️☺️💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

AAAAAAAAA SETH, SERVING ONCE AGAIN. ILYYYY. omg I need his shoes. Oh lawd, this match between Seth and Drew is gonna serve so much cunt @ Crown Jewel😍🫶. NAAAAHHHHH SETH CAME OUT WITH EVIDENCE AND EVERYTHING😭😭 BRO CATCHING RHEA AND DREW FR.RUGGEDLY HANDSOME? SETH SAYING THE TRUTH.NAHHH DREW CALLED HIM A THIRSTY CREEP, LEAVE JEY ALONE HE WAS GOING THROUGH A PHASE PLEASE😭💀 eneheheehheehhehe Drewww😈😈 I RESLLY HOPE HE WINS @ CROWN JEWEL. ay don’t be nasty to Drew Seth, you stfu😡 SETH STFU, YOU AINT KNO SHIT. WATCH DREW PULL UP ALONE @ FIRST, AMD THEN FUCKING RHEA AND DOMDOM COME LUT AND HELP HIM GET THE WIN💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 (estoy loco, I am delulu.)

OOOOOOOO BOY ITS BRONSON REED😈😈

RAAAAAAAAAH LUDWIG😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚 HAAAAIIIIKK OH SHIT JOHNNY GARGANO⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ EEEEEEEEE OO BOY IM EXCITED. NAHH WADE GOT TF OUTTA THERE LMFAOOO, JOHNNY GIRL 😭😭😭 SO HAPPY TO SEE JOHNNY BACK AAAAAAAAAA. THIS MATCH IS SLAYING SO HARD OMFFFFF. AAAAAAWWWW GARGANO LOST😭😭😭

Becky😡 INDI & CANDICE😍😍🤯🤯 OMG HIIIIIII INDI, HAIIIIIII CANDICE :3 OMG BECKY V INDI, LETS GO. LMFAO RHEA. WAIT DID BECKY SAY BECKY TWO BELTS BEFORE GOIN TO COMMERCIAL 😨😨🤯

OMMGGGGG DREW & SAMIIIIII. Compliments from Drew, hm bro what you gettin at🤨🤨 AHT, YALLS PLS STOP DRAGGING JEY😭😭😭 🤯DREW JUST DRAGGING EVERYONE LMFAOOO. wait, they keep mentioning Sami ab the world championship shit. OMG ARE WE SETTING THAT UP FOR THE FUTURE⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ AAAAAAAAAA, WAIT DREW V SAMI NEXT WEEK😨🤯 YES YESYEYS

RHEAAAAA😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 HAAAAAIIIIIIIIII :333 HIIII SHAYNA. OOOOOO THE MAULIN😍😚 NIA GTFO PLS, OMG RAQUEL. BEAT HER FUCKING ASS YESS LETS GOOOO. OMMMGGGGG ZOEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY I LOVEE YOU, J NEED MORE OF HER OMFG

HII XIA, ITS BEEN A WHILE. JADEEEE OMFG HI HIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI PLEASE MAKE IT OFFICIAL, JADE CARGILL V BECKY LYNCH AT CROWN JEWEL PLEASE. IM BEGGING, I NEED IT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

HIIIIIIIIII BRONSON, HIIIIIIIII GUNTHER. YOOOOOO GUNTHER, BRONSON WTFFFFFFFFF😨😨😨😨😨😨 YESEYSYSYSYSYS G7 THER WON

OMMMMGGGGG POOKIE BEARS❤️❤️❤️❤️💙💙💙💙 CODY AND JEY ILYSM, BUT YOU ARE JOT WINNING. oml they never gonna give up that bit from the press conference are they?😭💀 they are so cutie patootie

MIIZ MY FAV ASSHOLE, OMG HIII. nah fr tho, we need more MIZ. LMFAO THAT IMPERSONATION, GTFO OUT NIA I DON WANNA SEE YOU

RHEA💜 yo stfu. WOAH, FATAL FIVE WAY⁉️⁉️⁉️ ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL RHEA. ZOEY, NIA, RAQUEL AND SHAYNA AT THE SAME TIME? HWTA

INDUS SHEER ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

LMFAO WHAT IS TOZAWA DOING, HE IS SO SILLY I LOVE HIM. OMG HI KOFI, HI XAVIER. Not the hip thrusts🤯🤨🤯🤨🤯🤨🤯. NAAAAHHHHHHH KOFI XAVIER😭😭😭😭😭

OMG ITS TIME, ITS FINALLY TIME OMGGGGGGGG HAIIIIIII I LOVE MY BBGS. SORRY CODYJEY YALLS LOSIN💀 PRIESTBALOR 🔛🔝 EEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE MY GOTHS HAIHAIHAi AAA THIS MAYCH IS SO GOOD WTFFF OMG DOMDOM NO😭😭 WAIT YESYES RAAAHHHHHH THIS MATCH GOT ME SO NERVOUS WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCUUUUUKKKKKKK JIMMY⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ YOOOO AINT NO FUCKING WAY🤯 OMG YES YESYEGRHHDBDBBD YES FUCK YES JUDGEMENT DAY HAS ALL THE GOLD AGAIN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[tojikai]

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I CANT– NO! I SWEAR TO GOD NO 😭😭😭😭😭 IT CANT BE PLEASE NO my anxiety right now is like 📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈 PLEASE POR FAVOR お願いします WHATEVER LANGUAGE YOU WANT, I BEG YOU NO 😭😭😭😭

SERIOUSLY, this fic is messing too much w my emotions, i dont think i can take it anymore LMAO i got the notification i was already nervous, then i started reading and my heart was beating SO FAST and i now i feel like throwing up and crying damn kkkkkkkk /smiling through the tears/ you rly making me feel all sort of things, im sad but enjoying it too much to complain lol

OKAY. I need to be honest here: i read that ask someone said how they perceived each character and i MAY feel more empathetic to Satoru now lol (ormaybeimjustbiasedwhatever) truly happy to see him working on himself and everything else but bro??? c'mon¡!!!¡!! you shouldn't be so naive atp anymore pls she was even talking to the dragon when you got home, my love 😭😭😭 hopefully she wont get pregnant, or loses the baby, or gets arrested for touching someone w/o consent, or gets in a car accident and dies– anyways, there are soooo many ways it could so i will hope for the best while hoping for the worst too;;; the things you do to me, istg 🥲

Also, Toji's showing too many red flags lol i mean, i can kinda understand him but???? Nah, it's like he isn't even trying to listen and understand the reader 🧐 girl, just take your lil girl and run, all mens are bad atp lol go find geto suguru, he knows how to be a good girl's dad and is handsome too

Anyway, after this chapter i may or may not have wavered as Team Toji 👀 its a bit worrying tbh and im that type of person who thinks "one alarm's enough, im out bye~" so cant be hypocritical here and say i want reader to stay lol but i also dont want reader w gojo bc his hag of a mother is rly unsettling, dont think its a safe environment for her or yui,,, im thinking too much im stopping and let the worry for the next

AH JUST REMEMBERED STH!!! Cant help but feel happy that satoru's father backed him up against his mother 💛 wishing a nice future for this man too bc that woman is tOTALLY INSANE!! Who the hell talk like that abt baby trapping someone???? Damn,,, reader rly should have reported her or sth i feel like she'll keep causing trouble whilst out of jail 😭😭

Muito obrigada for this chapter, was rly a great experience (tho i felt anxious LOL) and actually it always is whenever i read something from you :) hope youre taking care of yourself and having a nice week, be well <3

satoru's father would always have his back. he's literally just there for satoru🥹 he lost his first born already, he's not letting anything happen to satoru too. and yeah, toji really got his supporters torn😭 where he's coming from is understandable tho, but in a rs, it always has to be mutual sooo... yeah, thank u so so much for the support <33 im happy u enjoyed itttt

[knightzp]

HII miki!!! PLS tell me everything abt ur acc! i.e fave chars, which 5 stars u have (and want?) and fave teams? also, just to spice things up a bit! are there any chars u regret building/pulling for?? (or perhaps any accidental pulls? for instance, my itto was a complete accident.. i just wanted gorou lmao) also... ur fave 4 star : ) srry that was a lot of questions but i cant wait to read ur answers!! have a lovely day!

HIII TŪĪ!!! this was so fun to write thank you for asking!!

fave characters: i have a lot of characters that i love but my most favorites are kazuha, hu tao, xingqiu, chongyun, albedo, benny, ayaka, yoimiya aaand tighnari. there are a lot more that i like but if i had to select just some those would be it i think!

fave 4 star: def one of the three i mentioned before! either benny, xingqiu or chongyun, but its so hard to choose just one.... mmm i think im gonna say benny bc hes very dear to me and has been accompanying me since my very first days playing the game, he has never left my team and i dont know what i would have done without him (i do know, i would have died countless times for sure)

5 stars i have: ive been playing the game for like a year and a half so even being f2p im lucky that i finally have most of my faves! i have kazuha, ayaka, hu tao, albedo, kokomi, yoimiya, xiao, nahida and eula. and from the standard banner, can you believe i only have keqing and mona after that much time playing?? well thats bc i have keqing c1 and.... mona c4. apart from the first 50/50 that i lost, which was with keqing, ive lost ALL the rest with mona and at this rate im sure im gonna get her c6 :'))) hyv stop giving me monas and give one tighnari pls PLS

accidental pulls: i DID have one accidental pull very similar to your case with itto and it was with eula. it was right when i was starting playing genshin and she was actually my very first 5 star. i only did one (1) ten pull on her banner bc xingqiu was there too and i wanted him so bad, but instead i ended up with no xingqiu and one eula that came home at pity 15 and winning 50/50, the luckiest ive ever been and for what... (and the saddest thing is i also didnt get xingqiu until months later sighhh). okay actually it wasnt that bad back then bc i didnt have any more 5 stars at the time so i used her as my main dps until i got ayaka, but now i dont play with her anymore

5 stars i want: since i got kazuha, who i really really wanted and saved for him for more than a whole year bc i lost 50/50 on him the first time (and the second time too... but i was prepared and could get him regardless), now i dont have any other character that i very desperately want as it was with him. and its bc ive been lucky that ive been able to get the rest of my faves too! i mean sure, i do want MORE characters, the ones that id like to get are tighnari, scaramouche (hyv im begging let me win 50/50 this time), nilou, cyno and venti, but i dont have that level of obsession i had with kazuha alsjfdk but yeah when their banners come (back) ill def be pulling for them!

fave teams: and my fave teams!!! im not a meta player and i know there are probably better combinations than the ones i use but idc and im very happy with my teams. so im gonna put the names i have for each team and its members!

permafrost brrrr: kazuha, chongyun, kokomi, ayaka. i loveeee fighting and freezing all the enemies along the way, so this is one is probably my favorite from all these teams. before getting kazuha i used it with xingqiu (hence the name of the team, tho it still works) and i miss a bit playing with xingqiu and chongyun together in the same team but kazuha makes this team even more fun and i like a lot how these 4 work together!

pants on fire!: xingqiu, albedo, hu tao, benny. my team for hu tao! ive been using this one since i got albedo and hu tao last year and ive never thought of changing it ever since, im very attached to it

short kings: kazuha, albedo, xiao, benny. my team for xiao and yes i wanted a team where i could put all my bois together and this one was perfect. a friend that is very invested in meta told me that kazuha wasnt useful at all here but idc bc just playing with them together makes me very happy

papayas quemadas: xingqiu, nahida, kokomi, yoimiya. this team i created it very recently! i was struggling a bit to find the best team for yoimiya and when i got nahida i tried this one and its very fun im liking it a lot! (ajdflsk abt the name of the team it means burnt papayas in spanish, bc the flowers (?) you make with hydro and dendro i call them papayas and then with yoimiyas pyro they become burnt, so yeah :))

queens: kokomi, eula, fischl, beidou. this is a team i have meant for eula using electro and cryo to boost her phys dmg and kokomi too to create electrocharged. i tried it a bit and it was actually fun! but i still need to build the chars better and i dont like eula that much as a character, so i dont really use this one rn. but maybe one day ill finally build them properly and give it a try again!

this was a super long answer but anyway it was a lot of fun to write!!!

i really hope you have a great day/evening too!! 💜

[just-some-random-blogger]

omgomg modern!daemon's nonnie's really lucky. i'm excited to see the thing you were writing. 'LOVE LETTER TIME' ANY TIME DESERVES TO BE LOVE LETTER TIME 'im sending brain cells your way' thanks hottie-cutie-meanie. actually, i'm pretty good at math too. the problem was that tasks were not hard but a lot. 'i cant believe you still have to study in the cold' well 'you're too old to be afraid of this weather' said one very kind deputy head. yes i've been living in such conditions for my whole life but?? girl?? have you ever heard smth about being ill??? thanks for the hug! i hope i'll see this girl alive TT and i do sleep during the day a little (imagine angry emoji) 'i shower you with compliments more like my cat' can i be your cat TT if i can't have one, maybe i can be one TT you know, pretend untilit's real. no but just imagine being allergic to yourself... 'i have two! yushi and his son jinjin' OMG aaaaaaaa such cuties TT omg i'm gonna cry again. i beg you to show your cats plspls i can call you master (as a cat) or big sister or hannah smith (as a matt smith's spouse) but plss TT my only goal in the whole life is to see the cats every person i know owns. (is jinjin after jinjin from astro or am i being crazy?..) and i have a really-super-indeed important academic competition(?) on the 19.12 so if you're going to post something i'll probably read it later but!! i will!! wait for me pls good morning!! take care! love you <з meow

HEWWOW!!

love letter time 😌

omgomg modern!daemon's nonnie's really lucky. i'm excited to see the thing you were writing.

lol i was writing for another fandom HAHAHH idk if you'd care for it it was my hob x endless!reader fic for the show the sandman lololol you don't have to check it out if it doesn't entice you lololl

'LOVE LETTER TIME' ANY TIME DESERVES TO BE LOVE LETTER TIME

lol well, realistically speaking i cant be sending you love letters any time lol HAHHAHAH

'im sending brain cells your way' thanks hottie-cutie-meanie. actually, i'm pretty good at math too. the problem was that tasks were not hard but a lot. 'i cant believe you still have to study in the cold' well

SLAYYYYYYYYY BESTIEEEEEEE WE LOVE A MATH WHIZZZZZZ

'you're too old to be afraid of this weather' said one very kind deputy head. yes i've been living in such conditions for my whole life but?? girl?? have you ever heard smth about being ill??? thanks for the hug! i hope i'll see this girl alive TT

DOES THAT DEPUTY MEAN OLD PEOPLE DONT HAVE FEELINGS this is why we cant have nice things T_T they want us to repress our emotions //: rat //: and yeah haven't you ever hear of being ill? yuck ALSO DAMN I HOPE YOU SEE THAT GIRL ALIVE TOO MY GOSH T_T HUGS HUGS HUGS

and i do sleep during the day a little (imagine angry emoji)

AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH THATS SO CUTE HAHAHHAAH

'i shower you with compliments more like my cat' can i be your cat TT if i can't have one, maybe i can be one TT you know, pretend untilit's real. no but just imagine being allergic to yourself...

T_T lol sure you can be my cat AHAHHAHHAh im pretty sure if you were a cat you wouldn't be allergic to yourself T_T did you know theres actually a cat that people who are allergic to them can have because apparently they dont have that gene that makes people allergic. i show it on animal planet once but i dont remember what its called lol i researched it an apparently there was a bunch but i think the one i watched was about the russian blue cat HAHHAH fitting for you i think

'i have two! yushi and his son jinjin' OMG aaaaaaaa such cuties TT omg i'm gonna cry again. i beg you to show your cats

ok i went through my pictures to see show you some

this is yushi he used to have a brother named mochi but he got hit my a van and i will never stop mourning him. the right most pic is yushi (left) and mochi (right)

(i went into the depth to look for a photo of mochi and then i realized i didnt have any anymore, and then when i found some i started crying because i was mochi's favorite and he didnt deserve what happened to him i miss him so much im so sad i cant stop crying hold on) i found the last video and photo i had of him but he had a gaping wound in it so im not going to add it T_T

this is jinjin yushi's baby

the story of how we got him is pretty long, but i'll tell you to distract from my sobs. so we have a stray girl cat in our neighborhood and im pretty sure yushi got her pregnant lol thats so funny to say but its true.

this was jinjin when we got him (he fell from the roof and had a broken leg but we didnt have money to bring him to the vet so i just gave him a makeshift cast and prayed he'd get better (he did)) he was so skinny and touch deprived T_T im crying again but he's better now

this is him after a while and his leg was better and he's with ysuhi in the first pic. we though yushi would try to kill him at first but they're so sweet to each other T_T i cant stop crying

honestly i swear im not making this up but jinjin is so much like mochi that i think God sent him to ease my sorrows T_T its genuinely so crazy how alike they are T_T i miss mochi so much im so sorry mochi. when he got hit i was so scared to watch him die and i regret not being with him in his last moments so badly im sorry i had to tell you this i wont go on about anymore

this is jinjin now

he's such a prince

this is my neighbors dog brownie she is a good girl

plspls i can call you master (as a cat) or big sister or hannah smith (as a matt smith's spouse) but plss TT my only goal in the whole life is to see the cats every person i know owns.

you can call me whatever you want. i choked on the water i was drinkin when i saw hannah smith but im too sad to type that with excitement

(is jinjin after jinjin from astro or am i being crazy?..)

actually no but its so wild that you also know astro slay bestie. we actually thought jinjin was a girl so i named him after characters from genshin impact his full name was barbara jean ponyo (ponyo as in the anime) but then he was a boy so i was like lol jean is fine or gene in masc form then it became jinjin. my sister cringes everytime we talk about astro jinjin now lol HAHA

and i have a really-super-indeed important academic competition(?) on the 19.12 so if you're going to post something i'll probably read it later but!! i will!! wait for me pls good morning!! take care! love you <з meow

WOW MY BIG BRAIN CHILD IS AN ACADEMIC COMPETITOR SLAAYYY <3 i hope it went well i love you so much

ps if you apologize about making me cry cos i went through mochi's photos i will cry some more

xxx im luv u

[whumpasaurus101]

please please please i love the villain and hero most recent post!!! can we have a part 2?

Previous

ANON IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY AJJSKKS BUT TAHNK YOU SO MUCH, IM GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!! 💜

I'm not very happy with this piece because it's just not flowy and es just SHITE. but here you go KDKSKSKSKSKSSKS

(I blame coal if there's spelling mistakes CAUSE THEY RUSHED ME TO POST TJIS. so hmph.... LS'SKSKSKSS)

“L-L’t go!!!!” They whimpered, only making Hero laugh, tightening their grip. Villain’s eyes widened, they couldn't breathe. Panic set in and they thrashed against Hero, tears streaming down their face, “Ca-can’t br-br-br’th….”

Hero barked out a laugh, “Beg me to let go, Darling. All you have to do is beg me and this all can be over.” Villain sobbed out, coughing quickly as they desperately tried to get air. Their defiance was quick to falter as they sobbed, “PL-PLEASE-” 

Hero hesitated a moment before letting go, making Villain collapse to the ground, clawing at their throat as they coughed and spluttered, coughing hard before mumbling, “Sh-sh’t…” 

Hero roughly kicked them, sending them lying onto to their back, making them cough out with a cry, “L-L’ve me al-alone…” They whimpered, looking up at Hero with pleading eyes. Hero only barked out a laugh and quickly stamped onto Villain’s stomach.

“SH-SHIT!!!” Villain wheezed, hands flying to Hero’s ankles as they desperately clawed at their leg, trying to get them off, “ST-STOP- pl-please…please en-enough… I- I cant.. Please!!!!”

Hero slowly lifted their boot off, slowly bending down and grabbing Villain by their jaw, forcing their face right close to theirs before whispering, “You're, so fucking pathetic right now.”

Villain only sobbed out, squeezing their eyes shut as countless pleading left their mouth, making Hero laugh, “What would the city think… looking at the once scary villain now beaten, bloodied and bruised at my feet, begging me for mercy.”

Tears spilled from Villain’s eyes, they couldn't hold it in anymore. Their body shook with sobs as they tried to turn their face away from Hero’s, but Hero only tightened their grip, making Villain wince. 

“Crying already, dove?” Hero grinned. Villain sniffled before slowly opening their eyes, forcing a hard glare full of hatred. After a moment they finally spoke, voice hoarse, “Wh-what d’y’ wan’ fr’m m-me…?” Their voice was weak. Weak and pathetic. They were practically shaking from anger. God, they hated Hero, even the sight of Hero made Villain seethe with anger.

Speaking of the devil, Hero whispered in their ear, “I want to break you beyond mending. I want to make you so reliant on me that you can barely do anything without me.”

VillIain could only flinch back with a cry, trying to lean away from Hero, but the bloody prick only held them closer. “Ju-J’st fuck o-off…” Villain whined, making Hero chuckle, “Oh you're such a little dote, aren't you!!!” Hero laughed and booped Villain’s nose, making the other growl and try to snap at them.

“But to answer your rude order, no, no i will not. You wanna know why?” Villain kicked out as Hero leaned in closer to Villain, their nose brushing against the top of their ear as their hot breath raised goosebumps. Villain wasn't gonna answer. They wanted to keep their defiant act up, but as Hero increased their lung-crushing grip around them.

“Wh-why…?” Villain squeaked, squeezing their eyes shut as tight as they can.

“Because I’m the one who’s in control here. I’m the one who gives the orders. Am I understood?”

Oh would they just stop with the questions!!! Villain could hardly breathe- let alone talk!!!

Then an idea struck Villain. All they had to do was wait for the right time.

“N-no.”

“Excuse me?”

“No.”

Villain could hear their heartbeat in their ears. They could feel the fast thumping as they desperately tried to control their panic. Hero hadn't said anything, leaving the space quiet, soaking in Villain’s breaths and whimpers.

They were quickly dropped to the floor, making Villain yelp out from the disturbance to their other wounds. They quickly went to stand up but a heavy boot kicked them down and planted onto their back, trapping them to the ground.

“I'm going to make you fucking pay for everything you did.” 

Villain weakly looked back at Hero, turning their head, eyebrows furrowed, “Wh-what?” Hero only smirked as they pressed their boot harder down on Villain’s back. A wheezed grunt escaped their lips. “All those lives you put in danger, all those laws youve gotten away with breaking, each time I let you go and-”

The world went still.

“You-...you let me go?” Villain wheezed.

Hero scoffed, “Everytime I handcuffed you, do you think I actually kept them loose by accident? And those times where I ‘lost’ you in our chases. And you-you're…” They paused, Villain felt their boot slightly ease against their back. They took a steady breath, “Wh-why did you…why?” 

Hero simply shook their head with a grunt, “Well it's not gonna happen anymore. I'm sick of you getting away with this BULLSHIT!!!!”

Hero drew back their boot before quickly slamming it into Villain’s ribs, making sure the steal tip collided with their bones. Villain screams out, screwing their eyes shut. “SH-SHIT! I'M SORRY OKAY?!??!”

Hero only sneered, “Oho, it's too late for sorrys.” Just before Hero could kick them again, Villain quickly reached for their back pocket, grabbing their pocket knife and stabbing it into Hero’s ankle. This time Hero screamed, stumbling back as they reached down and clutched their wound. 

Villain took their chance and quickly scrambled away from Hero, they slowly managed to get to their shaky legs and desperately tried to open the door. Their hands slipped along the handle from the blood which covered their hands

They kicked, screamed and punched at the door but it didn't open. Hero limped over, making Villain spin around to face them, back fully pressed against the door as their breathing picked up.

Hero held up a key in one hand, smirking, “Looking for this, dove?”

---

Cola tag :3

@shywhumpauthor (psst, here's a cookie 🍪)

:33

[moonhoures]

Hard thoughts about Enha hyung line…

Heeseung would 100% be a biter… like always wanting to be able to get just a peek of his marks from the night before…always putting them in places just out of site for everyone else… but he knows exactly where they are… he’d also be the one to press on them just to get a small whimper or gasp from you… especially when your out in public…

Jay would be the bruiser… he wouldn’t mean to, but the way his fingers dig into your hips… he wouldn’t be able to stop his grip from tightening the same way you tighten around him…. You’d wake up the next morning to his fingers lightly brushing over the soft purple marks on your hips, his small smile making your heart flutter… but the slight possessive look in his eye making your stomach flutter

Jake… where to start with Jake… he’s the loud one… can never seem to stop the noises that come out of him…. It ranges from his teasing remarks always trying to see how bright he can get you around flush… to his whimpers and gasps as you overstim him… I just… he would have the prettiest moans I just know it… ranging from soft quiet ones… to high pitched whines and just… oof

And Sunghoon… babe buckle up… in my head he is THE tease… like edging for as along as you can handle… he loves to see the tears streaming down your face… all while making smug little remarks about how cute you are… but also into overstimulating you until you’re begging to take a break… only for his grin to widen and ask… “cant you take one more for me?”… knowing damn well you can’t say no to him…

Ok… yeah… oof… enjoy😈

~Kenah🦕

ok i saved the best for last so let’s jump in 😮‍💨

100% agree heeseung loves to bite (which how can he not when he has perfect teeth like that?) i bet he loves to leave marks on inner thighs especially, knowing you and him are the only ones who will see them. but he does of course enjoy leaving them in more noticeable places, smirking to himself when he sees them sticking out of the collar of your shirt in public. 😏

pls i want jay to bruise my esophagus 🙄 but yes yes yes he’d highkey love leaving bruises on you. he’d especially love seeing his handprints on your ass from a good bit of smacking. the red outlines would make his ego boost so much ���

jake would be so talkative during sex, i think. if he isn’t moaning or grunting or panting, then he’s constantly telling you how good you feel or what he wants to do to you. the boy won’t shut up. maybe he needs something in his mouth to keep him quiet 🤫

i buckled and i still wasn’t ready babe 😭 i can see that shit sO clearly it’s driving me nuts. i was literally just talking to bunny the other day (or yesterday idk my days are blurring together) abt hoon’s smirk in this video at around 10:55 and that’s exactly how i imagine he’d smirk at you if you were whining about how unfair he was being. bc he eats that shit up. he wants you to beg for him until you can’t take it anymore. he wants to hear how badly you need him bc it fuels his ego. and gtfo here with “can’t you take one more for me?” KENAH IM DYING RN!!!

[oriigirii]

💞 MC is a Genshin Simp 💞

=====

{ AN: Omg! This is my first ask so thank you anon (๑ↀᆺↀ๑)/!! This is such a vibe too haha, I hope you like it! } Warnings: None [Maybe Refs and Chars you wont get if you dont play Genshin Impact] * Probably a bit OOC too *

Reader: Gender-Neutral [Default]

( ⓛ ω ⓛ *)

========

< Genshin Impact was a game that took the human realm by storm, with its open-world gameplay, its competitive PvE and aesthatic settings, it was truly something that captured you the moment the beta was announced. Although, as with any Gacha games, you weren’t only attracted to the world and its setting.

No no.

The characters were truly the main eye candy of the game. You’d been worried that when you had been sucked into Devildom, you wouldn’t be able to access the game due to, yknow, realm differences, but luckily that wasn’t the case thanks to Levi, and hence why the moment it dropped, you had been spending your life savings simping for characters on every banner.

Yknow theres handsome bois in devildom too... Theyre just kinda waiting for you to put your game down for a moment and kinda notice em ～((Φ◇Φ)‡ >

------

ฅ⁽͑ ˚̀ ˙̭ ˚́ ⁾̉ฅ Lucifer

He usually doesn’t mind you playing games

Although, He would’ve preferred if you didn’t cause you kinda need to focus on your studies yknow?

But hey he’s not stopping you

Usually you would stay with him as he works, but he can’t seem to focus with you constantly begging beside him

Small little ‘please’ would be heard every now and then, and a sudden look of disappointment would show on your face.

He tried to ignore it, even giving little cues for you to quiet down, like clearing his throat

You didnt seem to pick up the hint though

He was just about to ask you what you were doing in the first place that has you praying beside him (which is hella rude) but your scream of happiness has him a little more irked and kinda taken back

“LUCIFER! I GOT HIM! LOOK LOOK I GOT HIM!”

You show him the screen showing your pull results

The character held a giant claymore with bright red hair

Before he can get another word in, you snatch your phone back and just sigh as if youd just had a heavenly (ironic) experience and mumble

“I seriously love him, Im so happy...”

Bro same though, Diluc pls come home

You were truly one of a kind, because youve just managed to break the Avatar of Pride’s... well.... Pride.

Did he just get cucked by a man in a video game?

Truly outrageous.

He seems to scoff and holds back a bit of an eye roll as he tries to focus back on his work

But boy oh boy, his salt is high

“If you are going to be causing a ruckus MC, May i suggest you doing it with Levi instead, I have no time for such games. I dont see why youre so caught up in such a character anyways, he looks quite basic.”

His words were sharp, and that was enough to shake you out of your fangirl/boy mode.

You were literally ready to fight the first born, a literal fucking fallen angel, for dissing Diluc like that

like

how dare

But then you notice how he seems to avoid your gaze and a small little red tint was on the tip of his ears.

Lucifer wouldve wanted to see you that happy with him, but no, a game character steals that spotlight.

Angey.

Instead of being intimidated by the sudden coldness, you giggle and finally close your phone and set it aside

You can continue celebrating and bragging about it later, for now, you wrap your arms around his arm and give him a small smooch on the cheek, which definitely makes him blush a tad bit

“Awww Luci dont be like that, Yknow I love you more”

Potential apocalypse has been diverted

But Lucifer does smile the smallest of smiles as he sighs, finding it silly to really get jealous over such a small thing and says

“I love you too, my dear... but you do have to make up for distracting me from my work...”

Well you kinda deserve it, so it wasnt long before both his work and your phone had been ditched

( After a while you do kinda see him quite similar to Diluc and it just makes you smile everytime you think about it, seems you have a thing for the strict cold men huh?)

===

Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) Mammon

Why you simping for a fictional character when you already have him?!

He’s your first man!

Your homie!

“Yeah well hes my first 5* so can you blame me?”

S A D N E S S

But for real, this man is just so clingy

He has heard from Levi that you were playing a new game from the human world, and of course, he had wanted to see what it was about by watching you play.

But since it was quite grind-heavy gacha game, he grew a bit bored and asked you to come with him to hang out somewhere else, or even go to the casino and gamble his money away cause he just got goldie back

But no matter what he suggests, you were just so focused on your grinding.

He’d prefer a different kinda grinding right about now with how lonely he is, ya feel me?

But no, you still werent interested.

“Oi! Cmon MC, whats even so important about this?”

“I already told you Mammon, Im grinding for primogems from the event! Theyre gonna be gone soon and I just HAVE to get them! Ugh I swear to Diavolo, if I dont, Imma cry! I didnt get him on their first banner too... ugh!”

Wait no--

Cmon he doesnt want you to cry!

Mammon kinda stays silent for a bit as he watches you struggle to fight the monsters with your low level team, frustration growing on your face.

But as you finish, Mammon seems to snatch your phone

“Hey! whats the big deal Mammon?!”

“Shut up and show me where the store is geez”

Mammon’s demands kinda surprises you and you raise an eyebrow at him, but you do show where it was, and sit back for a while as Mammon just fiddles around with it. You werent sure what he was doing honestly, was he interested? Did you say anything that made him act this way? All you talked about the game was the gacha system so--

oh…

OH

“Mammon! Wait you dont have to---”

“There! I got you as much primo things, or whatever theyre called”

He already has tossed you your phone back and he crossed his arms, looking away as the red blush covers most of his cheeks.

You look at your phone and you honestly felt your heart speed up and stop at the same time at the amount of primos on your account, it was enough for a full 180 pull! If you dont get the limited character on the first 50-50, you have another shot!

You felt your own heart speed up and your face burn so hard, but you do mumble him a quick “But... But why though?”

“Cuz! If you start cryin’ Lucifer’s gonna beat my ass! Dont think I did it for you, you human! I just dont want him taking away Goldie again!”

“But I thought this was your gambling money, isnt it?”

“w-well!... I mean... Hmph.. Gachas kinda like gambling right?, I know Lucifers gonna hang me if he catches me in the casino again anyways, so I thought I might as well just do this... with you...or whatever...” Hes dying, help

But so are you!

Hes too fucking cute and you just glomp him and just hug him as tight as you can!!

Flusterred boi 100

But you do spend you afternoon on his lap, both of you rolling the full 180 in excitement, whether you get that boi/gal you simped for on the banner or not, you still were happy to spend some time with Mammon

He doesnt mind losing a bit of cash for you

but you do promise to pay him back (maybe with a few kissy)

But to be honest, Gacha probably will help him with his gambling addiction...

kinda...

He doesnt go to casinos anymore but he does whale with you now

Lucifer has such a mix feeling with these results.

But he still confiscates Goldie and your card on the end, yall need to chill.

====

ヽ(。_°)ノ Leviathan

He probably wasn’t even interested on the game at first

He already has enough games to play, and it just looks like another rip off of some other game he saw not too long ago with that elf looking guy

But when you came to him asking for his help to get the game, you bet your ass that he felt a switch click

Suddenly it was incredibly interesting!

You do share your interests to him almost immediately

By interests, of course i mean the peeps you simp for

The sexy ara ara in the library of mondstat, the pirate looking ass of the guards, the pirate looking ass’s brother thats a wine owner and still highkey reminds you of Lucifer, the demon slayer--- You were actually unsure if you should talk about Xiao but hey hes cool

You explain it all!

From their lore to their voice lines and whatever

But honestly what do you expect from the Avatar of Envy?

Of course hes gonna be a bit jealous! He cant compare to any of these characters! Hes not as witty as that eye patch man, hes not as sophisticated as that red head, hes not as flirty as that ara ara either!

As you go on, you notice that Levi was kinda... half listening....

It made you pout, but then, it made you worried

Uh-oh you know that look

its that, ‘im overthinking’ look

So to snap him out of it, you kinda grab his face as gently as you can

“Need Grimm for your thoughts?”

He flushes and he immediately looks away, but you usher him to look at you as you coo and ask him whats wrong

It takes a bit till he kinda explains to you how hes feeling

In your relationship, you both were practicing being more open with each other, hence why you were proud of Levi for saying it

but you did feel kinda sad and frowned as he finishes explaining

“You... feel jealous?”

“Ugh d-dont say it out loud normie....”

He covers his face with his arm and you just cant help but shake your head with a fond smile, but you do need to address this and comfort him.

“Levi... when you fanboy about Ruri chan, did you ever think she was better than me?”

Your question made him frown and look at you in absolute worry

Did you actually think that you were below Ruri chan?

Of course hes an absolute simp for Ruri but.. cmon

Now that he thinks about it, he does talk about her a lot doesnt he? oh no...

“MC O-Of course not! I love Ruri chan yes, but you... I... I Love... you more...” Levi exe do be dying

But you smile at his response and gently kisses his cheek

“I think thats sweet Levi... But thats how I am too... Youre still better than any of these characters, youre real and they arent, youre mine and I am yours~ Youre my personal 5 star!” You wink at him and Levi just dips

his heart couldnt handle the cuteness and he died, ladies and gentlemen

but for real he did pass out

Must be from all the blood on his head from the blush

But ah, he does get it, and after being showered with love from you, He kinda slowly got over his jealousy

its not immediate but with simple reassurances, you can manage to reel him in and have fun with you

He does end up enjoying the game cause he gets to spend time with you, and he gets to show off when events happen 

He also goes out of his way to memorize locations for materials for you, and when youre sick or busy, he pilots your account

true gamer

But ironically enough hed probably start simping for a character too and of course, you both start bonding over that, which just makes Levi absolutely happy

I wonder if hed simp for Barbara, she is an idol afterall like Ruri chan

Probably lowkey for now

Afterall she looks like a minor so-----

( I dunno i searched shes 16-18 lol )

But regardless, I can imagine you both just cosplaying each others fav characters too

Its a wack looking ship cosplay but yall just simp for each other cause of it, its pretty fun but the rest of the brothers just finds it hella weird

----

I only have energy for these 3 as always, Im sorry! But i promise Ill do the rest!! I hope you guys do enjoy, and Id love some feedback on the characters personalities cause I know they can be a bit Ooc, But feel free to send me an ask! Im pretty open lol 〜(￣△￣〜)

[ennoshawty]

HQ CAPTAINS AS THINGS

i was bored and felt like doing a crackfic thing but i didn’t have any solid themes or good ideas

SO I PRESENT TO YOU - THE CAPTAINS. AS THINGS. IDK HOW TO WORD THIS BUT YOU’LL SEE AS WE GO ALONG.

warnings: VERY LONG, slandering a crybaby oikawa (lovingly), mentions f!reader, shitposting, mentions of violence in kita's, (a bit) yandere!kita, cursing, unedited, me being an idiot

officer!daichi

we are: vigilante/troublemaker

loving the enemies-to-lovers trope so much

nah bro you ain’t full criminal (bc my preppy ass could never) you just do the small vandalism things y’know like drawing peepees on government buildings and knocking over bins

u literally confessed to him by spraypainting the entire billboard by his workplace “I LIKE YOU” like way to go girl

He didn’t appreciate the creative graffiti but he rlly likes u so all u had to do was clean it and then next thing u know yall are out on a cute cafe date

but let’s talk about before yall got together

he’d CHASE u thru alleyways when he’d catch you writing “police sux” on the fuckin wall

bro is NOT AT ALL afraid to jump onto the roofs it’s FRIGHTENING to see this huge ass police officer storm after u

HES SO FAST HOT DAMN WOMAN HOW DO U GET AWAY FROM HIM??? USAIN BOLT WHOMST???

you’d almost always get away by a hair - he’s SO SO close

and it frustrates him but excites u oooooo arrest me shawty

and this would continue for a while

but yall have such fun fun banter - you’d tease him and he’d say something back and you’d bolt and he’d chase

some days he’d catch you. but in those times u slip away somehow

he’s having so much fun and doesn’t even know it

and then at one point he doesn’t even care about bringing u to justice anymore. he knows it’s bad for business and it’s unprofessional but he’s so attracted to u

he doesn’t even know it. HES IN DENIAL!!! his mind: “oh i’m just asking about her so that i know her motives” bruh no u just asked about our fav pastry this aint about crime anymore

and when he finally gets it,,,DINGDINGDINGDING SOUND THE ALARMS !!! MAN IS WHIPPED!! he’s more shy around u awww,,,doesn’t even want to chase u anymore but he will still engage in banter w u.

yall get a little peace treaty in the lil crush stage - you both are kinda aware of ur feelings towards each other but don't really wanna mess it up and jeopardize whatever's going on like bros PLEASE JUST KISS ITS INFURIATING

it’s more of a competition to see who will break the other first (and you lost he’s too hot)

he lets u joyride his cop car in an empty parking lot <3 he is the one <3 this is true love

u gotta marry him right now bro no excuses

u are no longer on the crime side of the law,,,u support him and only him fuck the rest of the cops (i’m jk of course...or am i)

u are his badass sidekick <3 unofficially of course until he marries u

u help him with the small things like helping lost children find their parents and helping old ladies cross the street

but you want to do the FUN stuff - chasing thieves and arresting drunkards.

unfortunately, he loves u too much to put u in danger so he keeps u from doing the dangerous things

after some protesting later, he trusts u to take care of urself. and now yall have a competition just like old times - whoever catches the most baddies at the end of the month wins (he WILL scold u if ur too reckless though)

THE TWO OF U ARE JUST GOOD COP BAD COP UHAHAHAHAHAHA

but it’s much more complicated than that - it’s either ur the laidback one and he’s the strict one or ur the fiery one and he’s the person like “calm down”

PLEASE HE HATES BRINGING U TO INTERROGATIONS he’s trying to be serious but you keep making him laugh istg he has to kick u out each time

u still make him laugh when u pout-glare at him thru the glass

bro says he’s not the stereotypical cop but the moment u surprise him with donuts and coffee in the morning he will make out w u right then and there

even though yall dating he still won’t let u play with his equipment

but sometimes u grab his walkie talkie when he’s not looking and prank call the others

and his coworkers know by now they’re like “oh it’s daichis gf” and go along with it HAHAHAHA “this is alpha 1, daichi just contracted ligma, over.” “roger, but what’s ligma? over.” “*inhale* LIGMA-” *daichi takes the walkie talkie back*

his coworkers are chill lmaoooo they love u two as a couple THEY ARE VERY SUPPORTIVE they planned a surprise anniversary party of when u joined the force (unofficially)

the juniors tanaka and noya are jelly ooooo but they respect their captain <3

u loooooove hanging out w the starry-eyed new recruit hinata and he’s bouncing around asking u personal questions “how did you date the commander!!! what’s he like as a bf??” he also accidentally exposes how much daichi talks about u in the office before he drags him away and murders him off camera

he does get u a walkie talkie that’s just connected to his line, tho. for emergencies. it’s ur second phone basically that only has his number in it

daichi LOVES it when u massage him after he’s had a long day but his shoulders are stiff as a statue,,,he’s also super stronk and can carry u anywhere <333

IMAGINE HE HAS A POLICE DOG - he doesn’t, but he’ll get one of his buddies to bring u a k9 unit so u can pet it and when he sees how happy u are he considers getting one PLSSS IT WOULD FIT HIM HELPPP

bro is VERY strict on safety. bulletproof glass in yalls house. alarms + cameras everywhere. trackers on every device. underground bunker. (just kidding lol)

daichi teaches u self-defense and gets u a bejeweled taser for ur bday <333 MARRY THIS MAN RIGHT NOW OR I’LL-

in other words i love daichi and he is husband material WIFE ME UP BUDDY

househusband!oikawa

we are: girlboss sugar mommy

somehow you tamed this bish to becoming your obedient malewife

and by obedient i mean whiny but compliant

IS MORE ATTACHED TO YOUR BLACK CARD THAN TO YOU. I SAID IT. THE TRUTH.

sure, he’s pretty and gives affection sometimes but the only time he’s bein cute and snuggly w u is when a new fendi purse came out and he wants it

his specialty is cooking but he’s so lazy he’s all “just get the maid to do it”

please give ur workers a raise he’s so demanding

when you take him to ur business parties hes ALWAYS bragging about you and ur large house with this and that and his favorite: indoor hot tub. he always brings up the indoor hot tub.

only reason you bring him is cuz he’s pretty and he whines when you leave him alone for too long

yall cant even stay for too long - he’ll practically drag u out of the building and whining that it’s too hot and his suit is too stuffy and to call a limo

he’s not afraid to embarrass u if u dont give him what he wants and he will spit out food at a formal dinner if its not to his liking

probably in competition w househusbands! makki and mattsun about who gets the best house so he’s constantly begging u for an extension to the house “please babe!!! makki has-” “no.”

8/10 times throws tantrums in public and 1465/10 times throws tantrums in the house

he wants to cry for the sake of crying. one time he lost his shirt and he wouldn’t stop bawling for 15 min

please find him a hobby

crybaby . the moment u give him the glare of death it’s over. but he’s got a cute crying face which makes up for his annoying whimpering

like he made the mistake of throwing a temper tantrum in the mall only for you to glare at him with a look that said “we’re discussing this when we get home and you’re gonna get your ass beat” and walk away. immediately stopped what he was doing and he was running after u, sniffling and mumbling apologies

please humble him and have him sleep outside. the couch is too luxurious to banish him to. he made sure of it himself. it’s reclining and has charging ports. he will not learn his lesson that way

does NOT want you to get a pet or a kid or even another sugar baby/househusband - he wants to be the center of ur attention

speaking of which he HATES it when you work for too long or work overseas. when u come back he’ll pout at u and give u the petty silent treatment

don’t bother trying to comfort him he thrives off of it and he’ll keep going so u can keep paying attention to him. if u just ignore him back he’ll come crawling back to u. “WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME IGNORING YOU?? DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANYMORE???”

one time yall got into a fight and he was all like “since ur being a rude mommy i’ll just find someone else !!!” inside u were like “oh god finally” but instead u said “okay”

ohmygod he panicked. he was rlly expecting for u to fight for him,,, but he doesn’t want to admit defeat first so he tries to go thru with it but you literally dont care. even when he has his chanel luggage packed and he’s standing by the door ur just like “ok bye bitch”

So he’s trying to stand by the door and wait for u to say that ur joking. ur not.

“fine! I’m leaving now!” “okay.” “...*sniffles*” “tooru, go.” “WAAAAH NO IM SORRY I DONT WANT TO-”

u knew this was going to happen sadly. u even hid the keys to all of the sports cars u own just in case he was actually going to go thru with it

tries to get in the gossip circle with the neighborhood trophy wives but they don’t think he’s cool enough. they like u though. they think ur hot asf and oikawa doesn’t like them no more bc theyre hitting on his ATM. but thanks to that u know all the gossip and shit even though u don’t ask for it

Every time u pass by a store where he thinks he wants something he’ll just cling to u and give the puppy dog eyes. like it could be out of nowhere and u see it and you’re like “where. which store.”

bro once he went luxury he never went back. he wouldn’t EVER step foot into a grocery store ever again congrats he’s been bimbo-ified

beat him with ur gucci belt pls it’s so funny

also please please PLEASE discipline him. tell him it’s NOT okay to just randomly purchase the entire swarovski store or to throw a party at ur house just bc he’s feeling petty about u being at work for too long. ofc he’ll bitch about it but you need to be firm

but don’t worry,,,he’ll get the idea when u take away black card privileges and slap him around (lovingly)

now he has to ask permission like a good boy. he’ll kneel and hug u and give a lil pout and whine

you got a bigass man child i’m sorry maam u should’ve picked tobio or ushi

ceo!kuroo

we are: secretary

bruh keeps it mostly professional during work hours

but that all gets shedded off like a snake when we on break

one minute he’s all “get these papers done by today or i swear on all that is holy i will destroy you” and then later he’s all “hey sweetheart wanna grab a cup of coffee”

flirty flirty FLIRTY FLIRTY AAAAA HES A MENACE

but you’re less than impressed bc y’know when the time clocks out and its time to go back to work he’s ruthless once more

HUMBLE HIM FOOL only when you’re on break though

will NOT stand for anyone else in the workplace bullyin u - NO WAY. only HIM

he’s got TONS and TONS of dirt on everyone in the office - NO ONE is safe so they wouldn’t even dare

RIP janet from accounting

that dumb bitch made the mistake of insulting u to ur face and in front of him. never heard from her again

it’s not even limited to the other employees - he’s not afraid to go off on a potential business partner if they dared disrespect you

bruh tries to call u on ur off days for the most randomest shit and to get ur attention

*picks up phone* “sir?” “ah! my favorite secretary ever! listen, i need you to grab my pens from my desk at the office and bring them to my place.” “...with all due respect, it’s 2 am, sir.”

but u have to comply with his ridiculous demands cuz he’s the bank

and he depends on u completely. as much as he hates to admit it - u have his schedules, itinerary, provide coffee, performance rates, stock info, you name it.

once u were out sick and he had the worst management - he’s not used to working without you

def tries to get some of ur workload off of u bc he’s worried that the stress of working for him made u sick + he doesn’t want to go thru scheduling again

prolly gets bored in meeting rooms and sends u little smirks and wiggles his eyebrows and weird looks while he’s sitting and ur standing in the corner like bruh pay attention

maybe sometimes he’s secretly makin fun of the presenter and doodling on his spare sticky note something funny to make u crack a smile

he’ll tease u for it of course “oh, secretary! you should be paying more attention! what would you do if this was important?” bruh i can multitask now keep airdropping me ur selfies i’m saving all of them (news flash: u dont save his dumbass selfies otherwise his ego will inflate too much)

sometimes likes to pull u aside from work to hug u - you say it’s highly unprofessional but he says it’s his stress reliever

you ALMOST got caught by one of the newbies and he was kabedon-ing you

he tries to play it off (since u were embarrassed too) but u know better,,,DO NOT LET HIM FORGET ABOUT IT he turns red and embarrassed every single time USE THIS TO UR ADVANTAGE !!

never goes into an elevator without you bruh is so attached to u n holds the doors open for you

but you have to open normal doors for him if he doesn’t know how it works (hint: manual doors. “why isn’t it opening on its own?” “sir, there’s a handle.” “but?? what does it do??”)

bruh acts like a dumbass sometimes so you can baby him :/// wtf man just because you’re rich doesn’t mean i’ll- ...wait...how much did you say…? that many zeros? HAND ME THAT FORK YES I’LL FEED YOU COME HERE- HERE COMES THE AIRPLANE BITCH

brings u to overseas trips and he spoils u too

no matter how much you insist that you’re ok he gives u a lot of luxurious items. “think of it as a bonus from me.” NOW YOU JUST HAVE A COLLECTION OF NICE SHOES/BAGS/JEWELRY AND HE LOVES IT WHEN YOU WEAR THEM TO WORK IT MAKES HIM SO HAPPY UGHHHHH

BRUH just a sugar daddy at this point “you have to look presentable for the next focus group so here’s a nice rolex watch” “sir, i don’t need-” “ah ah ah - it’s my treat.”

it’s pointless to refuse him but he still teases u for it like what???? “if i didn’t know any better, secretary, i’d say you’re just doing it for my money and not my fabulous looks and personality.” “exactly.” “hey!”

yall go for drinking parties a lot. whether with the whole branch or just the two of u

KARAOKE W KUROO AFTER A LONG DAY OF WORK <333 becomes a ritual between the two of u

he’s so silly when he’s drunk lmfaoooo goofy ass mf

but that’s only when it’s the two of u. he controls his alcohol around others and his uncool side is only for u <3

also ur the only one he trusts to take him back to his place and handle him

it’s the other way around too - when u drink a lot he looks after you <333

you have a higher tolerance than him and sometimes u have competitions between the two of u on who can drink more but then yall always end up shitfaced

HES the one who has a crush on you

you know the drill - gaslight gatekeep girlboss

he’ll do anything for u but wouldn’t ever admit it he simp

offers u the keys to his estate and offers for you to LIVE with him

bruh just marry me already ok WAIT WE’RE NOT EVEN DATING YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT SIR-

he’s so awkward tryna confess to u,,,he may be this big hotshot ceo but he’s acting like a schoolgirl in love

probably prints u a confession when he asks u to go to the fax machine lmfao what a nerd

in other words ceo!kuroo is a nerd and you need to top him immediately get that bank

dog hybrid!bokuto

we are: owner

Husky-malamute breed!!! BEEG DOGGIE VERY HAPPY N DROOLY <333

OVERLY HYPER. JUMPS ON ANYONE AND U AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT

he’s well trained i swear but the moment he sees something of interest then i’m sorry you just lost him

please if a robber came in he wouldn’t even attack them he’d just tackle them w hugs

he loves loves loves snuggles <333 u busy? nope!!! hug time!!! cooking something?? oo lemme see!!! whoops look at all those tomatos on the ground. u got a deadline coming up and u really need to focus?? CUDDLE TIIIIIIME- w-wait - huh?? why are u shoving me off?? do you - do you not - huh?!?! WHY ARE YOU LOCKING ME OUT OF THE ROOM?? NO!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! IDK WHAT EXAMS ARE BUT I WANT CUDDLES!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME????!!!

the WORST things u could ever do to him is leave him and call him a bad boy

HE CRIES ON THE SPOT </3 HOW COULD YOU </3

soso bummed when u go out of the house without him </333 waits by the door patiently waiting for u to come back </333 sob sob

the moment he hears the door unlock he LEAPS and his tail is wagging like CRAZY

he is SO STRONG. almost always knocks u over whenever he jumps on u

destroys EVERY toy u bring him. u leave him for 5 seconds and there’s stuffing all over the floor and whatever u brought him is nonexistent

tugs on the leash when u walk so much that it SNAPS

loves romping w the other dogs in the dog park but he needs to tone down on his friendliness he almost killed a lil orange chihuahua

gets distracted by EVERYTHING. ooh, squirrel! oo, butterfly! OOO HUMAN CHILD!! MUST EAT!!!

ok while he might be friendly, he still gets super super jealous. you both were outside and u were petting the neighborhood black cat and bruh almost swallowed his head

which u thought was weird bc the two are normally friends and are pretty nice around each other

so now he’s more feisty around him and any other cat that’d get ur attention

If it was a person, then that’s another thing. He’d be very friendly at first but then slowly realize that ur attention is more directed on them than him. then he’d go ballistic

but when u scold him for practically assaulting the poor dude and call him a bad boy,,,he’s lost it

u have to lock him in the other room and he’s crying and whimpering, scratching at the door. all he wanted to do was protect u from that bad bad man who took away his owner’s attention !!!

def snarls at the dude next time he comes into ur house/apartment...dude never came back

“GRRR” “AAAA GET UR FRIGGIN DOG B-” “he don bite” YES IT DO GET UR-”

doggie bokuto rlly tries to be slick...it doesn’t work. like he tries to do that thing when he’s a total demon towards the guy but then act like an angel around u but it doesnt work bc he’s not smooth

doggie intelligence: 2 IQ. one time u got him a puzzle box and hid a treat in it but bruh couldnt figure it out just straight up monched the entire puzzle simply bc he smelled his fav bbq treat in it

speaking of intelligence - he only knows how to say a few words like ur name and incomplete sentences. speaks in barks and whines and sometimes a word

SO BIG THAT HE GRABS FOOD FROM THE TABLE WHEN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING

u had some delicious beef steak? oh dear, where did it go? there’s ur puppy kou with steak sauce all over his lips

big fan of hiking trips, sports, literally anything that involves going out

he LOVES getting dirty outside playing. boi cant control himself from rolling around in the mud

hates baths at first but then he likes how u spray the water on him and giggles awww he likes bath time now

we all know he’s not the brightest pup of the pack but,,,he’s somehow psychic. he knows when ur taking him to the vet

HE THROWS A BIG FUSS ALL THE TIME - sometimes he tries to hide but his huge tail under the couch gives it away

and he knows when ur thinking of taking him on a walk. he also begs u to take him outside by settling his head in ur lap and pouting until u give him what he wants

he likes the big ol doggie sweaters/pjs u buy him...but he always ruins them. no matter how much u buy him, they’re all ruined. he complains how scratchy it is and it feels weird on him

knows LOTS of tricks but if u teach him more than what he already knows he will forget one of them he’s like a damn pokemon

he feels ur emotions :((( if ur mood is down his tail droops :(( and he gives u cuddles and tries to make u feel better

he even likes to make a fool out of himself and be silly if it makes u laugh :((( he’s so precious

in other words i love doggy bokuto

pirate!ushijima

we are: kidnapped

ah yes we’re are captives of the most fearsome pirates of the seas: shiratorizawa

just so you know, tendou was the instigator. he was all “let’s kidnap a noble’s kid and get the ransom money!” (whether you actually are a noble or not is up to you)

thing is, nobody’s willing to pay (if you aren’t a noble) or the pirates really pissed off the folks in charge and are now doing a manhunt

so yeah you aren’t going back anytime soon

but he’s a pretty good sport about it - very hospitable

he notices the little things u like and gets them for u <333 sighs <333

he saw you reading that book? wow look at that, there’s suddenly a stack of them and the same genre he saw you reading

but you definitely shouldn’t test him. he’s SUPER scary when it comes down to it

you saw how ruthless he was with the rogues that had dared to challenge him on sea

mf made them walk the plank

you help on the ship bc u wanna be useful and also shirabu keeps being mean

he asks u to teach the crew how to read cuz theyre dumb as shit and only know water and treasure

speaking of treasure - when he leaves u on the ship to explore a cave, he gets u really pretty jewelry <33 anything u ask for

“oh, welcome back captain. how was your mission?” “i brought back a few trinkets i thought you might like.” *reveals whole chest of priceless gems* “are they to your liking? if not, we can set sail for something else that might interest you.” “I-”

bruh got a pet eagle - u ask the crew and they dont even know how tf it happened

hell, even he doesn’t know how it happened wtf. “oh. one day it flew down to me and i fed it. that’s all.” wtf

equivalent to diluc’s bird - he didn’t even give it a name so he gives u the honors

U name him rigatoni (you got a great naming sense btw)

oh my god oh my god oh my god HE TRIES TO PROTECT U WHEN PPL WERE TRYNA INVADE THE SHIP

it was the first thing he did no cap - burst into ur room and scoops u up <33333

“what the-” “we need to get you to safety. we are under attack.” and holds u close to his chest AAAHSIDHFPSDHFN OH MY LORD YES

HAS THE TEAM GIVE U SELF DEFENSE LESSONS AFTER THAT

tendou tries to give u a sword but ushi says no “she could hurt herself.”

“but ushiwaka! we can teach her not to hurt herself” “...it’s my orders.” “c’mon, be more honest, ushiwaka! what’s the real reason?”

he goes quiet then looks at u “...i’ll always be there to help. she’ll have me.” AOISHSDHFSNDF

HELPPPPP SIOJFDSKFJP HES SO CHARMING AND HE DOESNT EVEN TRY

but the rest of the crew are like “then what’s the point”

but tendou sneaks u a dagger just to be safe

sorry ur apart of the crew now - but they’re like a family even if they did kidnap u

oh whatever your life before wasn’t as cool as this (no offense)

they are given orders to protect u at all costs

speaking of which - ushi isn’t all that great w guns

almost blew his own head off tryna figure out how it works before reon snatched it from him

he brings you with him to towns and cities and he likes taking u to the markets to get you stuff

ushijima tell me your love language is gift-giving without telling me your love language is gift-giving-

he finds out you’re pretty good at bargaining and brings you onshore a lot more

is mesmerized at how you absolutely BERATE the merchant who was tryna rip you off like sis where is this violence coming from??? he loves it??

he also likes to stop by some pretty islands and imagines just settling down in such a nice place w you <333 SIGHS <333 VERY <333 LOUDLY <333

no matter how much he likes you...he will NOT let you drive the boat under any circumstances </3 its his livelihood c’mon man

whenever you have to stay on the ship while he’s away he sends rigatoni to give messages and the two of u talk thru messages

speaking of which rigatoni is fierce and can definitely sink his talons and his sharp beak into any bastard that dares get near you while the captain is away

wakatoshi “swimming is for pussies” ushijima - he’s water resistant

bruh so powerful he walks on water

second coming of christ who

IM JUST KIDDING he does swim but we hardly ever see it

legends say (tendou says) he looks rlly awkward doing it and only knows how to doggie paddle

speaking of our homeboy tendou - he loooves spooking the team (and especially you) with scary stories . don’t worry tho - this is all a ploy to get the beeg pirate husband to comfort u at night ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) he is ur wingman u can count on him. but his suggestions are ridiculous

“Jump off the deck and see if he’ll catch you!” um excuse me- THOU SHALT NOT PUT BIG HUSBAND TO THE TEST

he’s got good intentions...i think…

but everyone literally knows he would dive after you

in other words pirate!ushijima is a softie at heart but goddamn he probably secretly has a pet shark so dont test him or u goin overboard

mafia leader!kita

we are: associate from different group/family

kita highly respects u and yall have been acquainted since u were young with the alliance of ur families

so in a way ur childhood friends but yall do have lil bit of friendly rivalry a bit

arranged marriage whuuuutttt...yeah thats what happened but u love him <3

nobody else knows about ur arranged marriage but you two

POLITE GENTLEMAN <333 !!! HNNNNNNNN his granny raised him right even tho he’s a mafia leader

RICH BOY RICH BOY RICH BOY- ALWAYS DRESSES DASHINGLY AND SMELLS GREAT MMMMMM

he owns the majority of the underground casinos

and has lots of connections with others. countless, might i add.

you on the other hand specialize as an arms dealer so he cherishes your services the most

prob has the traditional tattoos allllll over his back and shoulders w like a dragon or sm and def a fox or kitsune

when u two were little he asked ur favorite flower and GOT THAT TATTOOED ON HIS BACK <3 probably secretly has your initials hidden in there somewhere

u both have a silent understanding of each other and he talks to u more than he does anyone

before he used to smoke but once he figured out that you didn’t like the smell of cigarettes he quit just like that

his underlings, the miya twins are so confused on how kita switches from totally brutal and ruthless to so soft around u

they can’t tease him for it, though, cuz he’d pulverize them

but they want to know more about u,,,you mysterious enigma,,,but kita would kill them if they dared asked about you

so they go to inarizaki’s most secretive informant/cyber mercenary, suna rintarou

and suna knows all about you. he saw you one time and he was curious about who you were and is now rlly scared of you because he dug too deep and you’ve got LOTS of history

he doesn’t dare tell the twins what he found no matter how much they bug him

until they bribe him at just the right price

and when aran finds out and tells kita?? ohhh boy it’s lights out for all three of them

oh my god ,,, would kill for u he loves u so much

one time you were kidnapped and held hostage

bro saw red

MAFIA ANNIHILATION SPEEDRUN ANY % NO GLITCH

he got world record time

wiped out the entire conglomerate behind it - nothing and nobody left behind after that

and of course, made sure you were safe.

yandere? ofc not...i mean...just look at him...so innocent...he would never...sharpening that knife...with splattered blood all over him...

is now joined at the hip with u,,,no matter how much you tell him you’ll be fine now and that you have tons of reliable bodyguards he won’t let it go

“don’t you have to go back to your place?” “this is my duty as both a fellow associate and your future husband.” aww,,,ur so sweet...but BRUH PLEASE GO HOME ARAN IS DOING EVERYTHING OVER THERE

makes sure to build a headquarters DIRECTLY NEXT TO YOURS so that its faster

and it’s not long until he just signs a deal to merge ur factions together (since yall getting married anyways)

and oh my god...ur underground wedding is SO SO PRETTY

absolutely DOESN’T care if he’s smuggling jewels from different countries - he’s having your ring CUSTOM MADE and the way you want it. “the diamond is too small? sure thing, darling, i’ll have it 7 times that size.”

makes sure everything is perfect in ur wedding <333 its very extravagant and even though its not really his style he’ll do anything for you

he absolutely WOULD take your last name if you wanted. FIGHT ME ON THIS

takes you to his private island for ur honeymoon so that the two of you don’t have to worry about work

meanwhile aran is scrambling around the place trying to cover for the both of you

he’s a VERY romantic husband - NEVER takes off his ring even for security. he says its practically a part of him just like you are <3

the ring has a built in tracker connected to an app. possessive? noooo...

in other words this escalated pretty quickly but i aint complaining if it gets me married to kita

--

--EXTRA EXTRA!! other characters’ roles!!--

officer!daichi:

karasuno squadron consists of:

cops: daichi (duh), asahi (mostly patrol, he hates confrontation), tanaka & noya (mostly accompanied by ennoshita), hinata & kageyama

investigators/detectives: sugawara, ennoshita, yamaguchi, tsukishima, kiyoko, yachi

surveillance: narita, kinoshita, tsukishima too

househusband!oikawa:

makki and mattsun are also househusbands

iwaizumi is a malewife fhasodjkasdhf-

ceo!kuroo:

lev is the newbie that walked in on u two-

janet still a bitch

kenma is his fellow ceo buddy. he also owns a multimillion dollar company and kuroo’s and his have a sort-of contract so you see him a lot in meetings

yaku is like one of the top performing managers so whenever yall have branch meetings he’s there

dog hybrid!bokuto:

kuroo is the black neighborhood cat bokuto almost murdered cough cough i did that on purpose yes i did

kenma is also another neighborhood cat. you don’t see him around that often but now that bokuto got jealous he stays far away.

hinata is the orange chihuahua i briefly mentioned

i couldn’t decide whether akaashi would stay human and be his previous owner or also be a cat/dog/owl. so lets say he’s ur human friend that is your bestie and comes over a lot. bokuto likes him, though. still gets jealous a bit.

pirate!ushijima:

tendou is practically is right hand man

the rest of the team have something to give idk how to explain pirate team members okay-

BUT BUT BUT- they do have sea rivals which are the seijoh pirates. you ran into them one day and oikawa thought you were kidnapped (you were, but you liked it there) so he tried to do you justice and failed miserably. ushijima ragdolled him into the ocean when he flirted w you.

mafia!kita:

the twins are something akin to mercenaries basically. or just plain lackeys.

suna is an informant/cyber mercenary. he gathers information about ppl which is how he knew about you. and he’s a hacker lol.

aran is his second-in-command, omimi + ginjima are his bodyguards

a/n: im going to regret posting this

[cinnamon-coffees]

Pls read if u want :) tw: ed things but mostly bout how and why i’m recovering

also tw for s/h

ok so i feel like i should start here when i was in the worst of my ed my weight got incredibly low. so so so low that my mom would come into my room every single night and make sure my heart was still beating. everyone was concerned but it didn’t stop me. i was a shell of my former self. i isolated myself, had a short temper, was cold, and miserable, all i wanted was to die to simply sleep forever. and a lot of that was BEFORE i got into a low weight range. i lost my period and did all the anorexic things that i thought i had to do. my mom pulled me aside one day crying begging me to eat. it didn’t feel good or validating at all. it made me feel like a burden. my younger sister started to notice and would try to get me to eat with her. and i just couldn’t, at some point even gum had to many calories for me. i do cheer and dance and both of my coaches benched me in fear i would break a bone. my blood work was off and at the doctors i had 1 of 2 choices:

1.) i could recover at home with my parents

2.) i could go inpatient

i didn’t like either of those options so i decided to go with the first one. i was able to sneak around until everything came tumbling down on me and my mom started sitting with me every meal. we hired a dietitian and i was eating A LOT. it was so so scary. i wasn’t even gaining weight or doing fear foods just eating a lot. there was so much crying. and so many tears, i wish i wasn’t so narcissistic when it came to this i was hurting my whole family. listen mental illness is never a choice but i was actively shoving away everyone who loved me and being an asshole. and the worst part of all of this is i still wasn’t skinny enough for my eating disorder. and i decided to give in to recovery because one of my mentors pulled my mom aside, and asked if i was okay. that’s all my mom ever got “does ur daughter have cancer” “is ur daughter ok” “she needs to eat more”. it was a headache another breaking point was seeing my younger sister cry. I still struggle with my ed and i’ve still got along way to go to recovery i’ve had this awful disease almost all my life and i’ve had many relapses however this time, ik it will stick, cause this time i want to recover i don’t want to be so sad anymore. i don’t wanna let this be the rest of my life.

Im not here to force u into recovery. i cant do that and i support u if u aren’t ready to recover that being said here’s some important things to be aware of

THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR:

-Consuming fewer calories than you need means that the body breaks down its own tissue to use for fuel. Muscles are some of the first organs broken down, and the most important muscle in the body is the heart. Pulse and blood pressure begin to drop as the heart has less fuel to pump blood and fewer cells to pump with. The risk for heart failure rises as the heart rate and blood pressure levels sink lower and lower.

-Some physicians confuse the slow pulse of an athlete (which is due to a strong, healthy heart) with the slow pulse of an eating disorder (which is due to a malnourished heart). If there is concern about an eating disorder, consider low heart rate to be a symptom.

-Purging by vomiting or laxatives depletes your body of important chemicals called electrolytes. The electrolyte potassium plays an important role in helping the heart beat and muscles contract, but is often depleted by purging. Other electrolytes, such as sodium and chloride, can also become imbalanced by purging or by drinking excessive amounts of water. Electrolyte imbalances can lead to irregular heartbeats and possibly heart failure and death.

-Reduced resting metabolic rate, a result of the body’s attempts to conserve energy.

-Slowed digestion known as gastroparesis. Food restriction and/or purging by vomiting interferes with normal stomach emptying and the digestion of nutrients, which can lead to:

1.) Stomach pain and bloating

2.) Nausea and vomiting

3.) Blood sugar fluctuations

4.) Blocked intestines from solid masses of undigested food

5.) Bacterial infections

6.) Feeling full after eating only small amounts of food

-Constipation, which can have several causes:

1.) Inadequate nutritional intake, which means there’s not enough in the intestines for the body to try and eliminate

2.) Long-term inadequate nutrition can weaken the muscles of the intestines and leave them without the strength to propel digested food out of the body

3.) Laxative abuse can damage nerve endings and leave the body dependent on them to have a bowel movement

-Binge eating can cause the stomach to rupture, creating a life-threatening emergency.

-Vomiting can wear down the esophagus and cause it to rupture, creating a life-threatening emergency.

-Frequent vomiting can also cause sore throats and a hoarse voice.

-Both malnutrition and purging can cause pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas. Symptoms include pain, nausea, and vomiting.

-Intestinal obstruction, perforation, or infections, such as:

1.) Mechanical bowel problems, like physical obstruction of the intestine, caused by ingested items.

2.) Intestinal obstruction or a blockage that prevents food and water from passing through the intestines.

3.) Bezoar, a mass of indigestible material found trapped in the gastrointestinal tract (esophagus, stomach, or intestines).

4.) Intestinal perforation, caused by the ingestion of a nonfood item that creates a hole in the wall of the stomach, intestines or bowels.

5.) Infections such as toxoplasmosis and toxocariasis may occur because of ingesting feces or dirt.

6.) Poisoning, such as heavy metal poisoning caused by the ingestion of lead-based paint.

-Although the brain weighs only three pounds, it consumes up to one-fifth of the body’s calories. Dieting, fasting, self-starvation, and/or erratic eating means the brain isn’t getting the energy it needs, which can lead to obsessing about food and difficulties concentrating.

-Extreme hunger or fullness at bedtime can create difficulties falling or staying asleep.

-The body’s neurons require an insulating, protective layer of lipids to be able to conduct electricity. Inadequate fat intake can damage this protective layer, causing numbness and tingling in hands, feet, and other extremities.

-Neurons use electrolytes (potassium, sodium, chloride, and calcium) to send electrical and chemical signals in the brain and body. Severe dehydration and electrolyte imbalances can lead to seizures and muscle cramps.

-If the brain and blood vessels can’t push enough blood to the brain, it can cause fainting or dizziness, especially upon standing.

-Individuals of higher body weights are at increased risk of sleep apnea, a disorder in which a person regularly stops breathing while asleep.

-Low caloric and fat consumption can cause dry skin, and hair to become brittle and fall out.

-To conserve warmth during periods of starvation, the body will grow fine, downy hair called lanugo.

-Severe, prolonged dehydration can lead to kidney failure.

-Inadequate nutrition can decrease the number of certain types of blood cells.

-Anemia develops when there are too few red blood cells or too little iron in the diet. Symptoms include fatigue, weakness, and shortness of breath.

-Malnutrition can also decrease infection-fighting white blood cells.

ok now that that’s done.

logic goes out the window when dealing with an ed so if u don’t want help or aren’t ready to recovery here’s some

safety tips:

-try and eat 500 cals (min) a day ur brain needs that much just to function

-don’t cut out carbs and fats

-take multivitamins

-talk to someone about ur ed that u can call in case there’s an emergency

-WATER WATER WATEER

-keep a granola bar with u in case u feel faint

-use ur hand when vomiting not something else

-if u purge drink water with electrolytes

-try to take rest days

-take meds the furthest time from purging

-if u struggle with not exercising walk

-get ur bloodwork checked

-try not to use laxatives days in a row

Next:

BUT I DONT CARE IF THIS IS HOW I DIE I WANT THIS TO BE MY SUICIDE

yeah so u most likely won’t die especially if ur young. there’s usually something that will stop u:

1.) yea you’ll die in ur 20s or 30s from a heart attack. thinking about food, having no personality or friends, you’ll be thinking about what u ate when u ate and how much u ate

2.) MOST LIKELY you’ll get hospitalized or forced into some form of treatment. and trust me the more u resist the more u stick ur nose up. the more they feed u. the longer ur stuck refeeding. you’ll get forced in and out of treatment stuck in a viscous cycle dying from a heart attack or organ failure

3.) you’ll die from gastric dialation.

very glamorous right ?

unfortunately i royally fucked up my body and most likely will never be able to have kids now.

If you wanna recover by yourself here’s some things to look out for:

Refeeding Syndrome Symptoms-

Fatigue.

Weakness.

Confusion.

Difficulty breathing.

High blood pressure.

Seizures.

Irregular heartbeat.

Edema.

For bulimia:

short term effects-

amenorrhea

anemia

low electrolyte levels

cavities

gum disease

intestinal problems

hair loss

dry skin

organ failure

sleep issues/ insomnia

long term-

diabetes

brittle bones

reproductive difficulties

Anyways :)

i cannot force u to recover but pls be safe while engaging in disordered behavior ur valid even if u don’t believe u are

and every single one of u deserves treatment and u are sick enough ilyyy pls take care

forehead kisses lovely’s xx <333