#plus size mixed race bride

[moonfirebrides]

"2 words, concrete jungle. We love the juxtoposed synergy of the two. Lots of lush green plants, foliage and crsip white flowers against harsh concrete, stone, exposed brick and cast iron fixtures. To us, this really captures aour personalities and our love of the relationship between industrialism and nature. The rest of the day really had the vibe of love, family, friends and music. " - Kylie & Phillip

CUSTOMISED NEON SIGN WITH BRIDAL CAPE FOR INDUSTRIAL WEDDING (Photography by Jenni Smith)

[whereforarthur]

Fate is in The Stars

A/N: First Request? Chris MD x Plus Size Reader

Pairing: Chris MD x Plus Size Reader Summary: Chance encounter at an Arthur Hill concert leads to more than what the reader expected. Word Count: 4.6k Rating: PG-13 Category: Fluff with some impure thoughts

*****

The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.

-Oscar Wilde

"I can't believe we're actually here!" Y/n squealed into the night, her excitement barely contained by the buzzing crowd around them.

"I know, right?" her friend Rachel shouted back, her voice lost in the sea of chatter and anticipation. They had been waiting for this moment for months, ever since the Arthur Hill concert tickets went on sale. Y/n had scored two VIP passes after hours of refreshing her browser, and Rachel had promised to be her plus one.

The lights dimmed, and the murmur of the crowd grew to a deafening roar. Y/n felt her heart race as the stage lit up, revealing Arthur Hill and his band, their silhouettes stark against the brightness. The music started, a deep bass that seemed to resonate in her very bones, and Rachel grabbed her hand, pulling her closer to the barricade. They were so close, Y/n could feel the heat from the lights and the vibration of the music in her chest.

And then, it began. The opening notes of "Bride and the Gloom" filled the stadium, and Y/n's eyes grew wide. This was it, the moment she had been waiting for. Her favorite song, live. She had listened to it on repeat for weeks, memorizing every lyric, every beat, every breath Arthur took in the recording. Now, she was experiencing it in real life, and it was nothing short of magical. Rachel squeezed her hand, her eyes shining with excitement as the band hit the chorus, and the crowd around them sang along. Y/n's voice was lost in the sea of sound, but she didn't care.

We'll raise a glass to the past, it's the bride and the gloom

There's nothing I couldn't do

It's just the bride and the gloom

You know that ring doesn't suit

It’s just the bride and the...

But amidst the throng of adoring fans, there was one set of eyes that kept finding hers. Chris MD, a popular YouTuber and a close friend of Arthur Hill, was standing off to the side of the stage, watching the performance with an intensity that seemed almost too focused for someone who had probably seen this show dozens of times. He was always mocked about his height, but taller than her, with a mop of unruly curls and a boyish smile that had won millions of hearts online. His eyes, a piercing blue, remained locked on Y/n as she danced, her body moving in time with the music, her hair a wild mess around her face. Rachel noticed the lingering gaze and nudged her. "Look," she shouted, pointing discreetly.

Y/n's cheeks flushed as she met Chris's gaze, a mix of excitement and embarrassment flooding her. She had always enjoyed his videos, his sense of humor and the way he could make even the most mundane moments seem interesting. But here he was, watching her, and she had no idea why. She tried to play it cool, focusing back on the stage, but her heart was racing in a way that the music couldn't explain away. Rachel looked at her with a knowing smile, mouthing, "Oh my God!" and fanning herself dramatically.

Chris's eyes never left her, and Y/n felt a strange thrill at being the center of his attention. She danced with more abandon, letting the music take over. Every time she glanced his way, his smile grew a little wider, his eyes a little brighter. It was like he was seeing something in her that she hadn't even known was there. The concert was already a night to remember, but this... this was something else entirely.

As the music grew more intense, so did the way Chris studied her. He couldn't keep his eyes off her figure, especially her thighs, which seemed to have a rhythm of their own as they moved to the beat. She had always been self-conscious about her size, but under his gaze, she felt a confidence she hadn't known before. The lyrics of the songs seemed to resonate with her in a new way, and she felt like Arthur Hill was singing directly to her. Or maybe it was just the energy of the crowd and the way the lights painted her in a glow.

Chris's eyes lingered on the way her thighs curved and flexed as she danced, a hypnotic sight that drew him in even more. Y/n had never felt so alive, so seen. Rachel gave her a look that was equal parts shock and envy, whispering in her ear, "You're killing it, girl!" But Y/n barely heard her over the pounding bass and the rush of blood in her ears. She was lost in the music, in the moment, in the undeniable connection she felt with Chris had suddenly made her the star of this show.

The second song of the night began, a slower, more intimate piece that had the entire stadium swaying in unison. Y/n's movements matched the tempo, her thighs moving in a gentle, seductive rhythm that seemed to speak directly to Chris. He leaned against the barricade, his eyes never leaving her, a grin playing at the corners of his lips. It was as if the music had cast a spell over them, and she was the only one who knew the secret. Rachel leaned closer, her eyes wide with excitement. "Do you see that?" she shouted, nodding towards Chris. "He's totally into you!"

Y/n felt a thrill run down her spine. She had always admired Chris for his positive body image advocacy online, for the way he never shied away from sharing his own insecurities. Now, she realized, he was looking at her the same way he looked at every person he met in his videos—like she was important, like she mattered. With a newfound boldness, she decided to lean into it, her hips moving in a way that made Rachel gasp.

The chorus hit, and Arthur's voice soared through the speakers. The lights painted the crowd in a kaleidoscope of colors, and Y/n felt like she was floating. Rachel was still shouting in her ear, but she couldn't hear the words over the music and the pounding of her heart. All she knew was that Chris's gaze was like a warm embrace, holding her tighter than any fan's adoration ever had.

Chris's inner thoughts were a whirlwind of disbelief and fascination. He had seen thousands of fans at concerts before, but something about her was different. Her passion, her confidence, the way she moved—it was mesmerizing. He had always been drawn to plus-size women, their curves a celebration of life and beauty that he felt was often overlooked. But it was more than just her body that captivated him. It was her spirit, the way she threw herself into the music without a care for what anyone else thought. He had never seen someone so utterly free.

The setlist moved on, but Chris's gaze remained steadfastly on Y/n. He was torn between watching the performance and watching her. The way her face lit up with every beat, the way she sang along to every word, the way she was fully present in the moment—it was like nothing he had ever experienced. He found himself tapping his foot along with her, his own passion for the music reignited by her infectious energy.

George, nudged him playfully. "You're supposed to be watching the show, not ogling the fans," he teased, his voice carrying over the music.

Chris dragged his eyes away from Y/n for a moment, a sheepish grin crossing his face. "I know, but look at her, George," he said, pointing her out. "She's incredible."

George followed his gaze, his eyebrows raising slightly. "Yeah, she's got something," he admitted. "You should go say hi after the show."

Chris nodded, his heart racing at the thought. He had never been one to shy away from talking to fans, but this was different. This was more than just a casual meet-and-greet. This was… something he couldn't quite put his finger on. But he knew he had to find out.

*****

The concert ended in a flurry of applause and cheers, the final notes of "You're Not a God" echoing through the stadium. Y/n's heart sank a little as the lights came up and reality set back in. Rachel looked at her with a mischievous smile. "We get to go backstage now," she said, nudging her gently. "You can't just leave without saying hello to your new fan club president."

They made their way through the crowd, their VIP passes flashing like beacons in the dim light. Backstage was a whirlwind of activity, with roadies rushing to pack up equipment and band members signing autographs for eager fans. Rachel grabbed her arm and steered her through the chaos, her excitement palpable. "Come on, let's find Arthur!" she exclaimed.

But it was Chris that Y/n's eyes searched for, her heart racing at the thought of seeing him again. And there he was, standing near the stage entrance, surrounded by his friends. Rachel rolled her eyes playfully. "Looks like someone's more interested in the friend, than the artist himself," she teased.

Their eyes met once more, and Y/n felt her cheeks heat up. Rachel pushed her gently. "Go on," she whispered. "I'll grab us some water."

Chris's heart skipped a beat as he watched her approach, her eyes shy but determined. He felt a strange mix of excitement and nerves, his mind racing with thoughts. What was it about her that had made him unable to look away? Was it her confidence, her beauty, or the way she owned the space around her? He knew he had to talk to her, to find out what made her light shine so brightly in a sea of faces.

He straightened up, his hand reaching out to push his hair back from his face, a nervous gesture he hadn't realized he had. His mind was racing with what to say, how to start a conversation without seeming like a creep. He had talked to countless fans before, but this was different. He didn't just want a selfie or a story for his next video; he wanted to know her, to understand the person behind the mesmerizing dance moves.

As she drew closer, the cacophony of the backstage area seemed to fade away, leaving only the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. She was even more stunning up close, her eyes sparkling with the same excitement he had seen from afar. He felt like he was seeing her for the first time, even though he had watched her dance for almost the entire concert. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts.

"Hey," he finally managed to say, his voice a little hoarse. Y/n blushed and offered a tentative smile, her eyes searching his. She had never expected to be the object of his attention, especially not in the midst of the chaos that was a backstage meet-and-greet. "I'm Chris," he said, extending his hand. "Chris MD."

Her hand was small in his, but it was warm and firm. "I know," she replied, her voice a little shaky. "I'm Y/n."

Chris's eyes flickered down to her thighs again, tracing the curves that had captured his attention from the moment he first saw her. They were like sculpted waves, rolling and crashing with every step she took, a testament to the strength and grace that lay beneath. He felt a jolt of something he hadn't expected—desire, perhaps?—and quickly schooled his features into a friendly smile. "Your dance moves are incredible," he said, hoping his voice didn't betray the tumult of his thoughts.

Y/n blushed even deeper, her cheeks a rosy hue that contrasted with her dark hair. "Thank you," she murmured, her eyes dropping to the floor. "I've always loved to dance."

Chris felt a pang of regret for making her feel self-conscious. He hadn't meant to make her uncomfortable. "You should," he said gently, lifting her chin so she met his gaze again. "You have a beautiful energy."

Y/n's eyes searched his, looking for any sign of mockery or insincerity, but all she found was genuine admiration. She took a deep breath, letting his compliment wash over her. "Thank you," she said, her voice stronger this time. "Your videos are amazing too. You make me laugh, even on my worst days."

Chris's smile grew wider, his nerves dissipating as they talked. "That's what I aim for," he said, pleased that she enjoyed his content. They talked about their favorite Arthur Hill songs, their shared love for the band's raw emotion and poetic lyrics. Rachel hovered nearby, sipping her water and watching the exchange with a knowing smile. Y/n felt a strange sense of comfort with Chris, as if she had known him for years rather than just moments.

As the backstage area began to clear, George poked his head out from the dressing room. "Chris, mate, we've got to get going," he called over the din. "Arthur's waiting."

Chris nodded, reluctant to tear his gaze away from Y/n. "I'll be there in a sec," he shouted back, not taking his eyes off her. "I just need to, uh, say goodbye to a fan."

Y/n's heart dropped at the word "fan." It was a stark reminder of the divide between them—the one who was watched and the one who watched. She felt her cheeks heat up, the sudden weight of his celebrity status making her self-conscious. Was she just another face in the crowd to him? Just another person to entertain and forget?

But Chris's gaze was unwavering, his smile never dimming. "I'd love to get to know you better," he said, leaning in slightly. "Maybe grab a coffee or something?"

Y/n's eyes widened, the question hanging in the air like a confetti of hope. She nodded, unable to believe her luck. "Yeah," she managed to say, her voice barely a whisper. "That would be amazing."

They exchanged numbers, the digits feeling like a secret handshake that admitted her into an exclusive club. Rachel shot her a thumbs up from across the room, her grin splitting her face as she mouthed, "Told you!"

The days that followed were a blur of excitement and nerves. Y/n replayed their conversation in her head on repeat, dissecting every word, every smile, every look. She had never been on a date with someone like Chris—someone who saw her as more than just a fan, more than just a body. Rachel was a flurry of questions and advice, her enthusiasm only fueling Y/n's butterflies.

Chris, on the other hand, couldn't get Y/n's thighs out of his mind. It wasn't just their beauty that captivated him; it was the power they held, the way they moved with such confidence and grace. He found himself pausing during his workouts to imagine her dancing, the way her body flowed with the music. He knew he had to see her again, to find out if the connection he felt was as strong offstage as it was in the spotlight.

*****

The days dragged on, filled with anticipation for their coffee date. Chris's schedule was hectic, but he made sure to clear his calendar for her. He wanted to show her that she was more than just a pretty face in the crowd; she was someone he truly cared about getting to know.

Finally, the day arrived. Y/n had spent hours picking out the perfect outfit—something that made her feel confident, but not like she was trying too hard. Rachel had insisted on helping, and together they settled on a cute dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Y/n checked herself in the mirror one last time before leaving, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart.

They agreed to meet at a quaint little café downtown, a place that was usually quiet enough to have a good conversation without being disturbed by fans coming up to him asking for pictures. Rachel had given her a pep talk on the way there, reminding her to just be herself. "You're already amazing," she had said. "Don't let nerves get in the way."

Chris was already there when Y/n arrived, sitting at a small table by the window. He looked up as she approached, a genuine smile lighting up his face. She felt her heart stutter at the sight of him, looking even more handsome than he did at the concert. He stood up, pulling out a chair for her, and she couldn't help but feel like a celebrity herself.

The conversation flowed easily as they sat down, the warmth of his gaze making her feel seen in a way she hadn't in a long time. They talked about their favorite concerts, shared stories of their past, and even touched on their hopes and fears. Y/n found herself opening up to him in a way she rarely did with others, her nerves slowly dissipating with each shared laugh.

Chris listened intently, his eyes never leaving hers. He had never felt this drawn to someone he had just met. Her passion for life, her honesty, and the way she talked about her love for music made him feel alive in a way that his career had never managed to do.

He took a sip of his tea, his eyes flicking down to her thighs, which were barely covered by the hem of her dress. He couldn't help but drink in the sight of them, the way they had at the concert. They were like a piece of art, a sculpture that had been crafted by the gods themselves. He felt a sudden urge to reach out and touch them, to feel the warmth and strength that emanated from her.

Y/n caught his gaze and felt a thrill run through her. She had never felt so desired, so appreciated for just being herself. She had always felt like she had to hide her body, to make it smaller, to make it fit in. But with Chris, she felt like she could be herself, and he would only love her more for it.

"So, what do you do when you're not at concerts?" she asked, eager to learn more about the man behind the camera.

Chris leaned back in his chair, his gaze still lingering on her thighs before returning to her face. "I make videos, mostly about my life, my friends, and our adventures. But I also talk about important stuff, like body positivity and mental health."

Y/n's eyes lit up. "Oh, I've seen some of those! They're so inspiring."

Chris chuckled, his cheeks reddening slightly. "Thanks," he said, running a hand through his hair. "But it wasn't always easy. You know, being a short guy in a world that worships height can be tough." He took a deep breath, his eyes dropping to his plate. "And the ear pinning… well, that was just another thing that set me apart."

Y/n nodded, her heart going out to him. "I've had my share of teasing too," she said softly. "For being plus size."

Chris's eyes met hers, filled with understanding. "It's not fun, is it?" he said. "But you know what? I've learned to embrace it. My height, my ears—it's all part of who I am. And if people can't handle that, then they're not worth my time."

Y/n felt a surge of admiration for him. It was easy to talk about body positivity from behind a screen, but to live it so openly was something else entirely. "You're right," she said firmly. "I've been trying to do the same. It's not always easy, but when you find someone who appreciates you for who you are…" She trailed off, her cheeks heating up.

Chris leaned in, his eyes earnest. "You're absolutely beautiful, Y/n. Your confidence on the dance floor was… captivating."

Y/n felt her cheeks flush at the compliment. She had never been one to take them easily, especially from someone as famous as Chris. "Thank you," she murmured, playing with the edge of her napkin.

*****

Chris reached out, his hand brushing against her thigh. It was a small, almost unnoticeable gesture, but it sent a jolt of electricity through her body. His touch was gentle, almost reverent, as if he were tracing the lines of a map he had studied for years but never dared to touch. She looked up at him, surprised, but he just smiled, his eyes never leaving hers.

Y/n felt her breath catch in her throat as his hand lingered there, the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of her dress. It was a simple touch, but it spoke volumes. It said, "I see you. I want you." It was a declaration of attraction that was as subtle as it was powerful. Rachel's words echoed in her mind: "You're killing it, girl." Maybe, just maybe, Rachel had been right.

Chris's thumb traced the curve of her thigh, the pad of his finger grazing the soft skin. The sensation sent shivers up her spine, and she had to resist the urge to lean into his touch. His eyes searched hers, looking for any sign of discomfort, but all he found was a mix of surprise and arousal. He gave her a questioning look, and she nodded almost imperceptibly, giving him the green light to continue.

The café around them faded away as they sat there, the only sound the clinking of cups and the low murmur of other conversations. The tension between them grew with each passing moment, a palpable force that seemed to thicken the air. Y/n felt like she was in a dream, her heart racing and her breath shallow. She had never felt so desired, so alive.

Chris's hand moved higher, his fingers tracing the curve of her hip. The fabric of her dress was thin, offering little resistance to his touch. She could feel his breath on her neck, warm and sweet like the scent of fresh tea. He leaned in closer, his lips a whisper away from her ear. "Your confidence is intoxicating," he murmured, his voice a low rumble that seemed to resonate in her very soul.

Y/n felt a thrill run through her as his words washed over her. She had never been the type to attract guys like Chris, not in her wildest dreams. But here he was, touching her, talking to her like she was someone special. She swallowed hard, her heart racing. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her own pulse.

Chris leaned in even closer, his breath hot against her neck. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked, his voice low and conspiratorial.

Y/n nodded, her eyes wide with anticipation. "Of course," she breathed.

Chris leaned in closer, his voice a low murmur that seemed to resonate through her very bones. "I haven't been able to get you out of my head since the concert," he confessed, his eyes lingering on her thighs. "The way you danced, the confidence you had—it was like nothing I've ever seen before."

Y/n felt a shiver run down her spine, a mix of excitement and nerves. She had always been self-conscious about her size, but with Chris, she felt like she could be herself. "Really?" she asked, her voice a little breathless.

Chris nodded, his eyes dark with desire. "Everytime I close my eyes, I see you," he said, his voice a low rumble. "The way you moved to the music, the way your thighs looked in the lights… it was like watching poetry in motion."

Y/n's breath hitched at his words, her heart racing. She had never felt so desired, so appreciated for her body. Rachel's voice echoed in her mind, urging her to live in the moment. She leaned in slightly, her eyes never leaving his. "You can tell me more," she whispered, her voice thick with anticipation.

Chris took a deep breath, his hand still resting gently on her thigh. He could feel the heat of her skin through the fabric of her dress, and he knew he had to be careful. He didn't want to scare her off, but the attraction was too strong to ignore. "Can I kiss you?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Y/n's eyes widened, and she felt a jolt of excitement run through her. She had never been asked so directly, so sincerely. She searched his eyes for any hint of doubt, but all she found was a raw, unfiltered want. She nodded, her voice a soft murmur. "Yes."

Chris leaned in, closing the gap between them. His eyes never left hers as their lips met, a gentle pressure that grew more insistent with each passing second. It was a kiss that spoke of desire and admiration, of the connection that had sparked between them in the chaos of the concert. Y/n's eyes fluttered closed, her hands coming up to rest on his shoulders, her body responding to the touch she had craved.

The kiss deepened, their tongues dancing together in a silent symphony of passion. Y/n felt her body come alive under his touch, her curves pressing against him as he pulled her closer. The café around them faded into the background, the only reality the warmth of his embrace and the sweet taste of his lips. Rachel's words of encouragement from earlier in the night seemed like a distant echo, but they had been right. This was the start of something she had never dared to dream of.

Chris's hand slid further up her thigh, his grip firm but gentle. He could feel her tremble with each touch, her breath hitching as his fingers traced patterns on her skin. He broke the kiss, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. But all he saw was a reflection of his own desire, a spark that had been lit and was now threatening to consume them both.

"I want you," he murmured, his voice hoarse with need. Y/n's heart raced in response, her body aching for more of his touch. She nodded, unable to find the words to express the intensity of the emotions swirling within her.

Chris took her hand, leading her out of the café into the cool night air. The city lights twinkled around them, a stark contrast to the heat building between their bodies. They walked in silence, the anticipation of what was to come thick and heavy. Y/n could feel the eyes of passersby on them, but she didn't care. All that mattered was the man beside her, the one who had seen her in a way no one else had.

The date had been nothing short of magical, a whirlwind of laughter and connection that had left her feeling like she was floating. As they approached her apartment, she knew that this night was only the beginning of something beautiful. Rachel's words from earlier played on repeat in her mind, and she realized that her friend had been right all along.

Chris stopped at her door, his hand still clutching hers tightly. "I had an amazing time," he said, his eyes searching hers. "I don't want this to end."

Y/n felt a warmth spread through her chest, her heart racing. "Me neither," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "This was just the beginning."

[thesffcorner]

Lesson in Thorns

A Lesson in Thorns is the first book in an adult, erotic mystery series written by Sierra Simone. It follows 6 characters, who when they were children spent the summer playing in Thornhill Manor, a gigantic estate in England, owned by the parents of one of the 6. One summer, they find an altar at the center of a maze in the Manor, and decide to have an impromptu wedding; 11 years later that wedding still seems to haunt them and through a series of various circumstances all 6 reconvene at the manor. This book was pitched to me as a queer The Secret Historywhich made me laugh, since The Secret History is already very queer. In fairness, all 6 characters in this book are some form of bisexual/pansexual, though only 2 of the characters specifically say it on the page. The best way to describe this book, is that this book is an erotica first, mystery second. The main focus in the whole book is on the sexual relationships between the characters; there is hardly a page without at least a mention of sex. This isn’t a dig at the book at all; it’s advertised as such and it delivers exactly what it promises. I personally would have liked a stronger plot, and more focus on the mystery, and as such, after a while I found the smut boring. If it wasn’t for the very last chapter of the book, I don’t think I would have been interested in continuing with the series. So since the plot is so lax, let’s talk about that first. The set up for this book reminded me of the Runaways; its a group of kids whose parents are part of some kind of elite secret club, and they gather at Thornhill. However after that summer, they disband and never meet again. We mostly follow Prosperina, or Po, the bride of the impromptu marriage. She’s a librarian, and her mother has disappeared. Years after, she gets a note with her mother’s handwriting addressed from Tornhill, just as she gets offered a job to catalog and organize the Thornhill library. What I hoped was to find out a lot more about the mannor’s history, the secret club Po’s parents were a part of, whether Tornhill was some kind of supernatural force or just a regular, old house. We get answers to some of these questions, but for the most part the book really doesn’t focus on any of it. The plot with Po’s mother is actually so minor you can barely even call it a subplot, which was annoying considering that’s the main reasons Po goes to Tornhill in the first place. I won’t lie, the fact that as soon as Po sees Auden, she kind of forgets about her mother at all was really frustrating and didn’t endear me to her character at all. I hope that book 2 will explain a bit more about what exactly Auden’s father was trying to achieve and why; I really would have enjoyed this book so much more if the mystery that was already there was just actually amped up and developed. The one thing this book does have going for it, other than the characters is the atmosphere. There is something so compelling about this massive sprawlling, isolated estate, set in the middle of the English countryside, in a sleepy village still devoted to medieval rituals and festivals, in the dead of winter. The scenes where Po explores the manor, or goes to the village were great, and I again wish the book focused more on this aspect of its setting, rather than just the characters. Speaking of the characters, they will make or break this book for you. Personally, I liked most of them; there wasn’t anyone I disliked, but some people were definitely better written and more developed than others. Ironically, the character I was most interested in was the one that was least developed; Beckett. Beckett is a Catholic priest, which I found interesting, since he’s not Irish, and he’s also not particularly religious either. He has a way with people, where he understands why they do the things they do, and puts them at ease around him, but his faith isn’t as unshakable as one would imagine. There are so many interesting tidbits about him; the fact that he wasn’t always celibate, that he is openly bisexual, even though he’s not sexually active, that he chose priesthood mostly out of fear, that he knows more than any of the other characters. He however, is the character with the least amount of page time, and other than the second to last chapter, he disappears from the book’s third act entirely. Out of the girls I liked Po the most, though a close second was Rebecca. She is a landscape artist, and she’s also a dominant. I am not super well versed in the BDSM community and lifestyle, and I always find it kind of odd that people would act the way they do in sexual situations “always”, but at least with Rebecca, that wasn’t the case. I liked the slow way in which she came to realize she might be not just attracted to, but also in love with Delphine. But again, like Beckett, she gets very limited page time, and her conflict is very mild compared to the rest of the characters. Delphine was the character I was least interested in. I appreciated that she was a plus size instagram influences, I appreciated the way she approached her life and her job, and I liked that she had a distinct personality outside of being rich and pretty. Her relationship with Auden would have been interesting were it not obvious from page 1 that they were going to break up, and no matter how much Simone tried to convince me to believe that they loved each-other, no really, they do, I just didn’t buy it. There was no chemistry there; the way Auden treated her like she was a child, or perhaps a fragile vase, and the reasons Delphine breaks up with Auden for, while valid, were really ill delivered. Auden is apparently everyone’s favorite character, but I really didn’t find him that compelling. I don’t know what it is with me, but if I am at any point forced to pick between two male love interests, one of which is an upper class, well-bred, mild-mannered, brooding lord, and the other one is a wilder, angry, lower class man who struggles with his class and upbringing, it’s a no-brainer. Auden does have more going for him, but like with Beckett, the stuff I found most interesting about him was his relationship with his father, with St Sebastian, with his own sexuality and preferences. What the book focuses on, is his relationship to Po and to Delphine, and while I definitely felt the chemistry between him and Po more than him and Delphine, the real compelling relationship was that with St Sebastian, which is the least developed one. St Sebastian is a little more present in the book than Beckett, but he too suffers from not really being in the book enough. He is the outsider; his family is poor, his parents weren’t part of the circle, he is mixed race, and most importantly he did something to Auden that’s so unforgivable that they hate each other so much that he is literary banned from talking to the other people. If the book focused more on what happened and why, I think the plot would have been stronger; as is St Sebastian comes off as a very confused and callous person who keeps playing with Po’s emotions. Finally we have Po. As a character she was fine; as the lead, she was a bit bland. Like I said, she has no real focus, and she has this super annoying tendency to completely forget everything when she is horny, which is all the time, especially when she’s around either of the boys (that’s St Sebastian and Auden, Beckett is, mostly spared). I enjoyed her friendship with Delphine; it was the best developed relationships, and I really liked the subversion of the ritual at the end. Because Po is also narcoleptic, they way she experiences things has kind of a dreamy quality, which works well for the book’s atmosphere. I am curious to see how the relationship between her Auden and St Sebastian will pan out; this is one of those rare love triangles where I would really be content with any of the pairings. There is definitely a wedge thrown in between her and Auden with what we find out at the end of this book, but anything is possible. Overall, this was a solid book. If you are into erotica, BDSM, queer characters and intense friend groups, you will probably love this book. Just don’t go into it expecting a plot; it’s pedestrian at its best, and non-existent at its worst, but if you know what you are getting into, it really is a lot of fun.

goodreads

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