#pocket! changkyun

[bsdtual]

jookyun being adorable

[denim-bias]

[iadoreyoo514]

Happy 28th Birthday to our favorite Maknae and 1/2 of the best rap duo in Kpop, Changkyun 🐈‍⬛💜

Changkyun honestly has such a special place in my heart because I can relate to him the most and we are very similar in so many ways. He’s such a talented, kindhearted and gentle person and I’ll forever be thankful bc he’s the reason I got into Monsta X.

So I hope he’s having an amazing birthday, that he doesn’t miss his hyungs too much and obviously that he stays healthy and happy while showing the world what a great artist he is.

Let’s all wish him a happy birthday and remind him how much we love and appreciate our lovely Kyunnie💜💜💜

[astroyongie]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Numb

Read with the song: https://open.spotify.com/intl-pt/track/2xCucTP5OkXJ7ISUk4xlBB?si=fb723270ee6a406a

Warnings: Smut

Parings: Changkyun x Reader

“What do you want from me?” Changkyun asked, a frown covering his face as he watched you from the corner of his eye.

You mumbled to yourself, looking around at his studio, before flopping into the red couch, sighing when your body was surrounded by the expensive leather. The night was ringing outside, the city lights and the buzy cars roaming in Seoul. But here, in the intimacy of Changkyun’s studio everything was quiet, gloomy, the purple lights from the neon being the only thing that allowed you to see past darkness. There was a scent of strawberry and incense in the air.

“Nothing” you said, not bothering to look at him, as you reached for your phone in your pocket, scrolling away for something interesting. “I am just here for the company”

Changkyun ignored you with a huff, turning back to his computer as he arranged a few new accords. Probably for a new release, you figured. As an artist, music had always been his priority, and it often came even before pleasurable release.

He was always like this. You have been sleeping with him for the past 3 months. The moment Changkyun had terminated his relationship with a fellow idol, that you didn't bother to recall the name of, he had grown closer to you. Naturally, your friendship quickly became something more. There were boundaries that none of you dared to reach and despite your feelings for the black haired man, Changkyun had always made clear that this would be purely physical.

 Changkyun was someone cold, quiet but he was a good lover and an even greater company. The only one that wouldn't interrupt you when you complained about your day, the one that would give you actual advice and be able to satisfy you physically. It was a win-win situation. You wanted a sneaky link, and Changkyun well... you never figured exactly what he wanted from you. Sex was the main topic but often he would invite you out for dinner or just to chill while constantly reminding you of his boundaries. You were okay with whatever you guys had. 

For now. 

You sighed, tossing your phone away. There wasn't anything interesting on your social media, and Changkyun didn't seem to give you any of his attention either. You knew the rules. He would call you, you came and waited until he finished his work, before you could get into his pants. Yet, this was taking way too long. He was playing the exact same melodies over and over, groaning to himself each time.

What a perfectionist, you thought. Sighing again, louder this time, you looked at him. Still nothing. You proceed to repeat. Nothing. Maybe if you coughed he would look at you– 

“y/n” he called and you smirked that your cough had caught his attention. “Shut up”

“Kyun, I am bored” you said, swinging your legs as you sat down on the couch. You didn’t want to be a whining brat, but you needed stimulation or some kind of attention before it drove you mad.

“Not my problem. I have got to finish this first.”

“You are inconsiderate”

“And you are acting up.” he said, turning his chair to look at you. You couldn't help but bit your bottom lip at the intensity of his gaze “Fix that attitude of yours''

“Don't want to fix it yourself?”

Changkyun rolled his eyes, turning his chair back to his computer and you groaned out in annoyance. Fine, if he didn't want to give you attention, you would force it out of him. Standing up, you made your way to Changkyun in silence. You knew this was dangerous but you just couldn’t help it. Not now at least. Reaching forward you closed the screen of his laptop. Before he could say anything in protest, you pushed yourself between him and that damned electronic device. Making room between the chair and his desk, you dropped on your knees in front of him, a grin on your lips.

“I came here to fuck” you reminded him, loving the way he was giving you that glare. “Will you do your job or do I have to do it myself?”

“If you want it that bad, do it yourself.”

There was so much defiance in your eyes as you heard his challenge. You were quick to work on his belt, tossing the accessory away. Your hands went for his pants, your eyes glued to your price, as you pulled his pants down enough to relieve his black boxers. You touched him a first, feeling his groin against the palm of your hands, grinning wider when you felt it twist, ever so slightly. Releasing his shaft from its confinements, you wrapped your hand around it. Even without being hard, he was already delicious. You opted to give it a few light strokes, working Changyun up, slowly. As he started to get harder against your palm, your mouth went in, leaving behind sloppy kisses and kitten licks until you could hear his body shift and his breathing changing. 

“If you open that computer again while I am sucking you off, I will use my teeth” you threatened, reminding yourself of the last time you had given him head in his studio. Changkyun laughed, his ringed fingers rubbing his own face before he went to caress your cheek. It was affectionate, almost too much. You hated to admit it, but the way his bony fingers touched your skin, made your heart skip.

“You wouldn't dare.”

“Oh I would,” you said with a grin, before finally taking the tip into your mouth, circling your tongue around the head. Changkyun groned, allowing his body to rest against his chair. His hand went to your hair, grabbing it skillfully out of your face so he could get a better view. Obviously, he couldn’t help himself but guide you with it, not enough to be rough, yet enough to be demanding.

Your hands went to the base of his shaft, stroking him lazily as you allowed yourself to suck and lick him, until he was moisturized enough for your taste. When you heard the click of his tongue, you smirked, finally taking him fully into your mouth as you bobbed your head up and down, using your hands to touch what your mouth couldn't reach. Soon, the studio was echoing with soft groans and occasionally little moans from him. Yet, each time you would look at him, Changkyun still had the same expression that haunted his eyes.

Numbness. His whole face expression was deprived, the only faint tint of pink blushing his cheeks, giving away his enthusiasm along with the angelic sounds living his lips.

Closing your eyes, you breathed heavily through your nose, trying to focus on the pleasure you were giving him. Now wasn’t the moment to care about feelings.

“Darlin’, put more into it” he instructed as he looked down at you. 

You opened your eyes, looking up at him with half lidded eyes, your cheeks hollow to accommodate his shaft inside your mouth. Changkyun’s eyes held no feeling towards you. You could tell. He looked at you as if you were a remedy, a pill that he needed to consume to erase negative thoughts out of his mind. You didn't care, he was free to use you as much as he wanted.

You pushed his member further into your mouth, your hands resting on his thighs this time. You felt the tears swelling in your eyes, as you forced yourself to breathe through your nose. Changkyun was hitting the back of your throat, his own hips moving according to his own wishes. It was his moans however that were sending you astray. Pushing yourself further, you hollow your cheeks, tongue pressed firmly against his veins. Your jaw was killing you from the angle. As long as he was feeling pleasure, you could push through it.

You looked up at him again, the sight sending shocks of pleasure waves through your core. He was watching you so intensely, that your cheeks blushed without your accord. You could only wish that the dim neon purple light was hiding in it. You could almost feel it. The hint of him adoring you, perhaps meddled feelings playing on his heart. If you could just suck these feelings out of him, you knew you could reach his heart, you just needed to work on it more, you just– 

“Don’t put faith in us” as if he had read your mind, he confessed, his breathing steady again. You frowned, removing your mouth from him. You used your hand to wipe your lips, the saliva coating both his dick and your jaw. The lack of contact made him hiss, but you were quick to use your hands up and down his member to keep him occupied. 

“It’s not like I am asking to be your girl, Changkyun”

“And you better not do it. Ever”

“Would that be so bad?” You asked, forcing a chuckle out of you to light the mood. You needed to pretend you weren't so serious, or else you could lose whatever thing you both had.

“You know I just need to revive, love” he hummed, his free hand intertwined on his black hair, removing it from his forehead. Changkyun was gorgeous, and you couldn’t help but look at him in all his glory. You hated that you wanted him so bad.

“Don’t you feel alive when you are with me?”

“I do”

Lies. His eyes didn't shone, the numb feeling plastered on his iris. You knew pretty well the only person on his mind was his ex, You just didn't want to admit it to yourself, it was too painful. you wanted to believe that your body, your company was enough for him. You could only thank Changkyun’s ego that would never allow him to go back to his ex. The same ego that was unfortunately also not allowing you to break his walls. 

You removed your eyes from him, taking him on your mouth again, sucking at his dick more eagerly this time. You couldn't help but feel your core tingle each time he groaned out in pleasure. You would go through this, you thought. No matter how many times you would have to be on your knees, you would break him. 

“fuck..”

He swore, his eyes closed shut as he focused on the pleasure. You bobbed your head faster, sucking his dick like the damn lollipop that he was. Maybe, if you were good enough, he would reconsider it. Gradually, his moans become louder and his breathing heavier. You hummed around him, whimpering when you felt his hand tugging at your hair again. A few more movements of his own hips snapping against your face and he was done. Changkyun released hot seed through a low groan, moving his hips lazily until he was finished.

You felt his hand losing its grip around your hair, his body relaxing against his chair as he caught his breathing. You released him from your mouth, swallowing what you could. 

“You are my weakness, y/n”

You didn’t believe him. This was just him and his post nut self talking. Standing up, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, tasting the reminds of him on your tongue once more, before you climbed into his lap, his half lidded eyes, looking at you as if you were half of a nuisance, half an object of lust. 

“What are you doing y/n?”

“I will fuck the numb out of you, Im Changkyun.”

[illneverrecover]

god dammit i like it (M) | changkyun

➛pairing: Im Changkyun (I.M.) x reader ➛genre: card shark/gambling Changkyun, cocktail server reader, poker!AU, hurt/comfort, smut, angst, fluff (in that order). ➛word count: 9005 (oof) ➛rating: M ➛warnings: excessive alcohol use, cursing, dirty talk, very very soft femdomme energy, oral sex (female and male receiving), changkyun begging, unprotected sex, creampie, cock warming, very brief mentions of blood, more soft clown changkyun. ➛summary: One last game, he tells himself. Just one last game, and he'll have enough money to take care of you the way you deserve, to show you how much you mean to him, to give you the life that you want... as long as he doesn't get caught. ➛notes: My second time writing Changkyun and as always, it's for the one and only @taetaesbaebaepsae. She had commissioned me (back when I still did those) to write something based on the God Damn MV, and then patiently waited for me to get my life together. I thoroughly enjoy creating new ways to hurt you with your ult bias, so I hope you enjoy this one! I did edit this one, but just barely, so please be gentle with me. Let me know what you think! ➛song: God Damn - I.M | Habits (Stay High) - Tove Lo (Hippie Sabotage Remix) ➛tagging: @taetaesbaebaepsae @lvupmushroom @thiccasswonhoruinedmylife - thank you for letting me use your likeness for this, and for looking it over to make sure it would truly hurt Kristy's feelings. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, bbs.

He’s an idiot, but you already knew that. 

The alcohol in his gut sloshes as he moves to stand, his glass painfully empty. Changkyun stumbles towards the bar, the thrumming in his head keeping pace with the bass thumping through the speakers of the club. 

His eyes are glassy, faraway when he reaches his destination, the cup fumbling out of his grasp as he indicates to the bartender he wants another. The bartender looks him over, seemingly debating on following through with the request, but he turns to grab the bottle of whisky regardless. 

Changkyun hates it. Hates that he’s so drunk, that you’re not here, that the guy serving him thinks he’s a mess. He knows he’s an idiot, that he should stop. Put down the glass and pick up his phone. That he should just call you and tell you he’s sorry for being such a moron all the time, and that he’ll listen to you from now on. That he does love you, and wants to take care of you, and he can fucking prove it, if you’ll let him.

But then he recalls the look in your eyes when you caught him – the disappointment, the pain – and he reaches for his now refilled glass, taking a swig before facing back towards the club. 

He doesn’t deserve it – doesn’t deserve you, to provide for you, to do any of it. Not when he’s such a jealous asshole, not when he’s such a fuck up. You deserve the world. Someone who can really give you what you need. 

Fuck, he wants to be that. There’s some moments when things are good, when you’re tucked into his arms in bed, sleeping softly beside him that he thinks he might be that – someone who can provide, be reliable, strong. But then he remembers your fights; his words of jealousy and anger, his avoidant nonchalant fake ass attitude, his fragile little ego shattering with a flick of your eyebrow and a sharp word. 

So he leaves his phone in his pocket, instead slinking back towards his booth before dropping into it. It was easy to ignore his friends’ questions, to insist that he was fine, to pretend to be more interested in the tray of shots being dropped off at the table. He accepted the small glass, slamming it down before he could think about the burn, about the empty churning in his stomach.

 It was easy to ignore his friends, but damn, Changkyun was tired of pretending he wasn’t fucking exhausted of trying to be okay without you. 

It had always been push and pull with him.

From the minute Changkyun had walked into Yvonne’s, the lounge where you worked, you could feel the snap of electricity, the buzz of magnetism that pulled you to him. He would’ve stood out from his clothing alone; his lithe form draped in a bright red perfectly cut suit, shirtless under the vest to show off his tanned, broad chest. The combination of cut and color was lethal on him and he knew it, his dark hair swept back to allow the full potency of his sharp gaze. The group of men he was with were also impeccably dressed and attractive, but there was something about him that had your eyes following him, unable to look away.

Luckily for you, he had seemed to feel the same way.

His friends had gone to sit at the Baccarat table in Kat’s section, but he had stayed behind, noting which tables your body was sliding between as you delivered drinks before he made his selection at the blackjack table at the end of your section.

He couldn’t keep his gaze off of you, ordering more drinks than he was actually playing cards you were certain, but you weren’t going to stop a paying customer. The table he was at was pretty low stakes overall; the crowd was a bunch of casual players, but he had enough money to keep up with the table, so they were willing to ignore his flirting. 

You were also trying to ignore it, playing into him enough to ensure your tip would be secure, but also knowing that this was likely all just fun for the rudely handsome stranger. And if there is one thing you enjoy doing, it’s having a little fun – especially while at work.

But there was something in the way he looked at you, the way that he spoke to you, that had you hanging on a bit more than you’d care to admit. You wanted to tell yourself it was just the fact that he looked like that in that suit – that his tattoos and cocky smirk on top of it all was just too  much for you – but you knew it was more than that. 

It was when you were dropping off his umpteenth cocktail that he finally made a move, his tattooed hand wrapping around your wrist to stop you and slide a piece of paper into your palm. 

“When do you get off?”

You smirked, trying to ignore the sudden rush of blood in your veins at his skin touching yours. “Why? Who wants to know?” 

His face deadpanned, his mouth dropping to a pout, and the juxtaposition of such a cute expression on such a lethal man made you laugh.

“I don’t even know your name,” you clarified, pulling away from his grip and tucking the paper into your apron.

“You could call me whatever you wanted,” he replies, voice low, glare fixed on you, “but others call me Changkyun.” 

The same things that had drawn you to him also made you roll your eyes, his cockiness frustrating just as much as it was attractive. He insisted on waiting until you had finished your shift, ensuring that you  made it safely to your car before reminding you about the paper tucked into your apron pocket. 

“It has my phone number on it so you can text me and let me know what time you want me to pick you up tomorrow.” He had murmured, his face so close to yours that you had forgotten to breathe. 

“Pick me up, hmm? Well aren’t we feeling awfully sure of ourselves,” you replied in a shaky breath, hating how much he was affecting you.  “What are you picking me up for?”

“I was hoping to take you on a date, but if you have things you need to do - errands, work - that’s fine with me too. Just let me take care of you.” 

It was as easy as that, the way he slid into your life. You hadn’t believed the offer, not really, but decided to text him anyway. You had some things to do before your shift, why use your gas when you could waste his?

But Changkyun was effortless, showing up in gray sweats and a black t shirt promptly at the time you requested, ready to chauffeur you all over town. He kept up with your teasing about his sad fuckboy music he was listening to, and let you mess around with his AC without complaint, like he had been doing it for a hundred years. 

Maybe that’s how he broke your walls down – acting so nonchalant, while also being dependable, always showing up when and how he said he would, always ready with an easy smile and a light joke. 

It could have been days, maybe weeks, but it didn’t take long for you to realize you wouldn’t be able to stay away from him. That you didn’t think you wanted to. 

Which was a complete contradiction to what you had told him – that you weren’t interested in anything serious, but if he played his cards right, you could be convinced for an evening of fun. An offer he had declined, telling you that he would wait until you changed your mind and wanted him fully. An answer that had infuriated you to no end, but one that felt inevitable. 

It was the 14th or 15th day of hanging out that he finally said the words, putting the feelings out into the space between you. His “I love you” came out rushed, as if the words had pained him, but the flush of his cheeks and shimmering soft eyes had you cracking, reaching for him to smash your mouth into his own. 

The kiss was unlike anything you had ever felt; the intense rush of heat nearly choking you when his tongue traced the seam of your lips, seeking entrance. He groaned when you had opened, the feeling of his tongue on yours sending the kiss deeper, starved for each other. He tasted like whisky mixed with the faint hint of gummy bears he was always snacking on, and you were drunk on his mouth, drunk on him. You don’t even remember if you had said the words back, the volatile energy between you now snapped and now your full focus until it was fully satiated. 

Changkyun slotted into your life like he had always been there. The familiarity of it soothed you, brought you a deep peace that you didn’t know you needed – but there was the other side of you, the one that had never allowed anyone to get this close, that was terrified of what this would mean. That knew letting someone in also gave them the power to break you. 

It was always a push and a pull with him, an intoxicating desire to give in, to let your heart find a home with him – mixed with the fear that eventually, that home would be ripped away. 

“Fuck,” Changkyun cursed, and your fingers tangled in the hair at his nape, tugging. 

“No marks,” you reminded him, though you would be lying if you said you didn’t love the feel of his mouth at your throat. His tongue was laving at the junction of your skin between neck and collar bone, suckling it between his teeth before soothing it with sloppy kisses.

You had been pressed against the wall of your apartment, him latched to you like a man starving until you had coaxed him down the hall towards your bedroom, letting him push you down onto the bed before resuming his work on your neck.

“Mmm,” he acknowledged, though he didn't stop his ministrations. “I wish I could mark you up, make sure everyone at Yvonne’s knows who you come home to.”

You had let out a breathy giggle, eyes rolling though he couldn’t see it. His silly jealousy over the stares you got while working at the lounge was just that - silly, nothing of merit - and yet, you couldn’t help but play into it just a little bit.

“Oh yeah? Who’s that?” you whispered, using your hand in his hair to guide him to your mouth, only stopping his descent when he was a breath away. 

“Don’t play games, sweetheart,” Changkyun leaned forward, nipping at your bottom lip, and your grip deepened. “We both know I’m the only one you’d let stick around this long.”

He was right about that. 

Closing the distance, you melted your mouth into his, letting him take control of the kiss for just a moment before you tug at his head once more, dragging him down your body. He complied quickly, pressing small kisses into your flesh as you guided him lower. 

“I don’t know,” you breathed, eyes hazy as Changkyun settled between your thighs, a groan leaving his throat when he saw you had forgone any kind of underwear beneath your skirt. “That one guy at table 7 was tipping really well, I bet I could-”

Your words were choked off with a moan as Changkyun dragged his tongue from the bottom of your cunt to your aching clit, giving it a singular swirl with the offending muscle before pulling back. 

“What was that?” he asked, but he didn't wait for a reply, not before delving back between your legs. He lapped at your center, taking his time tasting you before he settled up near your clit, sucking it between his lips. 

Any retort you had been working on died as he made quick work of you, sucking and licking until you were bucking up into his face, both hands tugging at his hair to hold him in place. He had become pliant beneath you, molding himself just where you needed in order to push you over the edge. Just when you felt like you couldn’t take any more, that you were going to snap, Changkyun slid two fingers inside of you, curling them upwards. 

“Please, come for me, sweetheart,” he begged, murmuring against the heat of your flesh. “I want it so bad.” 

His words were your undoing, and you find yourself doing exactly as he asked, moaning out his name as he takes you over the edge, his mouth and fingers working you through it in tandem. 

You exploded, white bursting behind your eyelids until you were boneless, unable to do anything but ride out your orgasm at the will of the man in front of you. Changkyun made sure to taste every drop of your release, slowly sliding his hand away from you only to quickly replace it with his tongue to lap at you until you were shoving him away. 

You wanted to make him feel as good as you did in that moment, wanted to return the favor, so you pushed him off of you and onto his back, switching positions to settle between his legs.

Hands tugging at his boxer briefs, Changkyun complied to your silent request, lifting his hips until you could drag them off. You were quick to palm his erection in your hand and squeeze, relishing in the hiss he rewarded you with, your thighs squeezing together. 

“Please,” he groaned, and fuck did he beg so prettily. “I just want to be inside you already, let me be inside you, yeah?”

Teasing the head of his cock with your lips, you hummed, playing as if you were considering his words. The truth was, having a beautiful man like him pleading you for anything was your kryptonite, and you would give him anything he asked for as long as he sounded like that.

Taking a final swipe of your tongue over his sensitive flesh, you gave him a smirk, moving until you straddled him, hovering for just a moment. Grasping his length, you line him up with your dripping cunt, sinking onto him slowly, tortuously. 

You may be giving him what he had asked for, but only because you wanted to, because you had deemed it aligned with your desires. Changkyun gave you full control over your pleasure, and you took it greedily. 

Once fully seated, you moaned, hips beginning to undulate and swirl against his. Pressing your palms into his chest, you began to work yourself over him, sliding back and forth until you were panting, thighs burning. 

His eyes searched yours, waiting for permission before he did anything more than take what you were giving him. “Fuck me, Changkyun,” you gasped, voice teetering into a whine. “Wanna come on your cock.”

Changkyun didn’t need to be told twice, didn’t need any more instruction before he was thrusting up into you, pelvis meeting yours. His hands tugged you down until your chest was flush with his own, his mouth seeking yours and coaxing it into a filthy kiss. 

“Fuck, yes, please come on my cock,” he rasped against your lips, his pupils blown as they make contact with yours. His gaze was intense, searing, but you couldn’t look away, didn’t want to. You wanted to be engulfed; consumed by him. “Use me, baby.”

Slamming down onto him, your pace began to turn frantic as he matched you thrust for thrust, each connection against your tender clit sending you further into oblivion. 

“You feel so good, Kyun,” you praised him, adjusting until your face was pressed to his neck. “So good for me, so perfect.” 

His answering moan reverberated in your chest, his arms tightening around you as his pace turned punishing, and it drove you crazy how something as simple as your words has him frenzied, falling apart beneath you.

Drunk on the power, you felt yourself hurtling towards your climax, nails digging into the skin on his back as he relentlessly slammed up into you. “Fuck, yes,” you cried, letting yourself go, giving in until you were over the edge, orgasm overtaking your senses. 

It was too much for Changkyun; the way your scent was all around him, intoxicating him, the way you were moaning curses and his name, the way you were clenching so fucking tightly against his cock. Before he could stop himself he was chasing his high right alongside you, shuddering as he pumped his release deep, unable to still his hips even when you were mewling from the sensitivity. 

Panting heavily against each other, you had tried to pull away only for Changkyun to roll you beneath him, pinning you under his weight. He was still fully lodged inside you, face nuzzled into the curve of your neck, his breath warm against your still sweaty-from-sex skin. 

“What are you doing, Kyun?” you chuffed, making a feeble attempt to lift his weight before letting him resettle against you. It was all for show, the response he expected from you. The truth was  you didn’t mind it - the feeling of him still inside you, the familiarity of his lips on your skin, the intimacy of it all - you didn’t mind it if it was with him. 

“Just let me hold you like this for a bit, hmm?” he mumbled against your neck, and you hummed your agreement, letting your eyes fall closed. He pressed a few lazy kisses to your throat before his breathing became measured, even, and you decided joining him in slumber wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

“Promise me,” you murmured, voice thick and lazy. You were still naked and draped across his chest, listening to the calming beat of his heart. You had already woken and showered, deciding that clothes weren’t necessary before jumping back into bed together. That was several hours ago now. The smoke coming from his cigarette was curling up towards the ceiling, leaving a dreamy haze in the room. 

“I’d promise you anything,” he replied quickly, taking a drag, “but what specifically am I promising you this time, sweetheart?” 

“No more going to Kihyun’s high roller floors, Kyun. I know the pots are bigger, but you don’t know those men at those tables - not like I do.” You paused then, taking a shaky inhale. 

Being in your line of work, you were no stranger to dangerous men, however you purposefully stayed away from serving on those floors of the lounge for a reason. Those men were the worst of the worst, and even if they weren’t, they rubbed elbows and served those who were. Either way, the money may be sweet, but the risk wasn’t worth it. You made better than you ever had at the lounge with the sections you served,  and that was fine with you. 

But Changkyun had always wanted more. 

Ever since you had told him about your lofty dreams - the ones that you had saved for yourself in the darkest parts of the night, when your mind was racing and you couldn’t sleep - he hadn’t let them go. Truthfully, you always loved the idea of retiring your waitressing shoes and being able to finally write full time, working on the novel you’ve been imagining for years in some quiet home somewhere, tucked away from the world. But it broke you to see Changkyun willing to risk his life to see it come true by hanging around that crowd, placing higher and higher bets at Yvonne’s most hazardous tables. 

It was strange for you to accept that he would even want to do this for you, to support you in this way, but he always knew how to soothe those concerns, promising you that he genuinely wanted to care for you before gently ribbing you to stop being so damn stubborn. 

However, it was his stubbornness that had been creating a wedge between you. 

“They’re bad people, Changkyun. And I don’t mean like - scamming old ladies for their pension money bad, either. I mean like extremely shady dealings with people who are involved with things that would get them sent to prison, bad.” 

His free hand fell to your head then, smoothing your hair back as he took another puff of his cigarette. 

“I know they are. I’m only just polite enough for the rules of the game, I never engage with them more than that. I’m not there for friends or connections, just the money.” He took a final pull before dropping the spent butt in the ashtray on the bedside table, his other hand moving to rest over the one you had placed on his heart.

“I get that, but it doesn’t take much to get on their bad side. It could be the slightest thing. Sometimes, just winning is all it takes.” 

He sighed, but let the silence linger, instead letting himself get lost in stroking your hair softly. You were about to say something again, to make sure he had heard you, when he finally spoke. 

“I just want to take care of you, you know?” His voice was low, thick with emotion, though he tried to swallow it back. “Give you what you deserve.” 

That pain came back, the one deep in your chest, and you sat up to face him. “I know that. But I already have everything that I need, right here.” 

You tap his chest once, twice - his hand still firmly resting on top of your own. 

He met your gaze, giving you a small, cocky smirk, as if his eyes weren’t shiny with unshed tears. “What, you mean this hot body?” 

You scoffed, eyes rolling. Maybe you should’ve called him out on his side stepping, forcing him to vocalize that look he had been giving you, but instead you fell back into step with your teasing. It was, after all, the familiar dance between you two. 

“No, stupid. I meant you - you’re all I need. The rest of this shit is just noise.” 

“I bet I can make you make some noise–”

“Changkyun–”

“Okay okay,” he laughed as your soft touch turned into pointed jabs into his chest, sitting up to wrap his arms around you and stop your onslaught. “I hear you, sweetheart. You’re right. I’ll stay away,” he said, pulling you up and back until you’re leaning against his chest, arms still wrapped tight around you.

“Promise me?” This time when you say it, you made sure your eyes were locked on his, made sure the fear you felt was evident behind the words. 

“I promise.” 

It felt like a sign from the universe. Well, either that, or a promise from the devil.

But sometimes, those can look the same. 

The posting for Kihyun’s upcoming game had just gone up, but it was already making the rounds. Games like these were advertised in a certain way - you had to know where to find it in order to play, and the regular gamblers all knew the common message boards to keep an eye on. Changkyun hadn’t been looking for it, wasn’t even checking the forums anymore – but had gotten a text about it from Joohoney, a screenshot of the flyer accompanying his message of “Bro, did you see this shit??” 

A high stakes game, in two nights. The winning pot large enough that he would be able to retire you permanently, and he wouldn’t be too far behind you, honestly. You were already off work that night, plans in place for a girls night with Kat and a few of the other servers, so you wouldn’t be at Yvonne’s. 

It would just be one last time.

One last game, and with enough luck, he could finally give you the life that you’ve always wanted, provide for you in the way a man should.  Sure, you wouldn’t like it – the idea of him going to the tables again –  but that was only if you found out, and the chances of that were slim.

He could win the money and set it aside, give himself a week or two of regular games to make it seem a bit more feasible. A few days of being off your feet and back on your laptop would have you forgetting about work anyway, and the top floor of Yvonne’s would fade quickly away from your memory. 

It had to be a sign. He could do it, could pull it off, could be the man that you deserve. 

His fingers hovered over his phone, the reply ready to be sent to Joohoney. It would be just as easy to delete it, to tell him that he’s done with that shit. To text his best friend back and tell him that he can’t, because he told you he would walk away and stay away from those men. Joohoney might give him some shit, but he would understand, likely wouldn’t push the matter. 

But the money…

It didn’t take long for Changkyun to do the math; it would take months at the regular tables to get this kind of money, and that’s only if he kept winning. Which didn’t seem like long in the grand scheme of things, but when he thought of how your eyes lit up at the idea of writing full time, made it seem like it was centuries. 

You wouldn’t have to know. It would just be one last time. 

He pressed send on the text, foot tapping nervously until he saw the read receipt pop up under his message. 

“I’m in - one last game.”

You were mad at him again, but your friends didn’t need to know that. 

All they needed to know was that you were in the mood for a girls night out, and if they knew what was good for them, they’d be there in their sluttiest outfit ready to indulge with you. 

However, it only took you ordering the second round of shots to have Bri’s questioning stare fixed on your own.

“So, what did he do this time?” she deadpanned, sipping from her straw. 

“What? Who? I don’t know what you speak of,” you replied. “I’m just enjoying a night out with my friends.” 

“Sure, okay,” Kat nodded, giving a convincing performance of someone who actually believed your nonsense. “If he didn’t do anything, then why isn’t he here, buying us all drinks?”

She had you there. Changkyun was always wanting to show up on your nights out – not to crash them, but so that you and your friends could enjoy your time without having to worry about a single thing. He covered the tabs, made sure everyone was having fun, and ensured each person got home safely – all while staying tucked away at a nearby table until you needed him, never putting too much pressure on you. 

It had pissed you off the first time he had suggested it, but after he showed you what he meant, showed you how he could be supportive in the shadows while still letting you shine, you had slowly given in. Part of you loved being able to enjoy yourself with your friends while knowing he was always looking out, even if he wasn’t directly visible. 

“Maybe he’s busy.”

Twin glares pinned you to your seat, and you allowed several beats of the bass blaring in the speakers to pass before caving. 

“Okay, fine, yes. We’re having a slight disagreement,” you conceded with a sniff, “over something that happened at work.”

“Wait a minute - is this about what happened with Vanda?” Kat questioned, mentioning the newest server at the lounge. She had only started a few weeks prior, but had been making a lot of work for you - constantly acting like she knew what she was doing in front of management, only to flounder and follow you and the senior staff around asking a million questions the minute they weren’t on the floor. 

It wasn’t her confidence in her lacking serving skills that had bothered you, not really. It was more so how the minute she did get called out on a mistake, she was quick to try to throw you and your friends - the same people who had just been helping her ass - under the bus. 

You had told Changkyun about an incident earlier in the week of this exact scenario – she was flirting with another customer instead of checking on the tables in her section, and a patron of hers ended up getting up to go to the bar to order a drink. It wouldn’t have been a huge deal, mistakes happen after all, except she had immediately told the manager on duty that you had promised to cover that table. Which was news to you.

“Are you serious? After all the help you’ve given her?” Changkyun had shook his head, irritation evident in his voice. “Did you tell the manager the truth? Who was on?”

You had smothered a smile at the question, trying and failing to hide how much you loved him wanting to know more about your life. 

“It was Amy, and yeah, I told her. She believed me, but still. I don’t get it, I’ve never done anything to that girl.”

“Want me to show up to Yvonne’s and request her section with the guys, give her some shit? You know how annoying I can be when I want to,” he offered, brows raised in a teasing lilt, but you could tell by the line of his mouth that he meant it. 

“Yes, I do know how truly annoying you can be. It’s almost like a super power.”

He grinned then, a full one, and you wanted to kiss his stupid mouth. 

“But no, it’s fine. I got this. I know how to handle people like this, and having anyone else fight the battle for me will only make her more bold about it.” This wasn’t your first rodeo, after all - you had been serving a long time, and doing luxury serving at Yvonne’s for even longer than Vanda had been out of diapers. If there was one thing you knew how to do, it was handle people. 

But did Changkyun listen to you?

Well no, of course not. 

He did exactly as he had threatened - showed up the following day with his full group of rowdy friends, sitting in her section and dedicated to being the most obnoxious people Vanda dealt with all night. They didn’t do anything harassing or illegal, just toed the line of being pretentious drunk pricks gambling and drinking – sending back drinks for being made incorrectly, asking for complicated cocktails and shots, requesting a rundown of the entire menu before telling her they were no longer hungry.

Kat and Bri had found it hilarious, stating that your boyfriend’s malicious compliance of the rules while still making Vanda run around so much she was pouring sweat was truly an artform. And there was a tiny piece of you, deep in your soul, that was pleased at the lengths he was willing to go for you. 

But you were also pissed, because you had been exactly right. It did nothing to stop Vanda from sending bullshit your way; if anything, it had spurred her on, the following shift of yours even more annoying and mind numbing after hours of her questions and subtle sabotage.  

“Yes, it’s about what happened with Vanda! I told him to let me handle it, and he didn’t listen. I know he meant well, I get that, but still. He didn’t listen.” You had known his heart was in the right place - you hadn’t questioned that. But it didn’t negate the fact that it made you feel so small when he didn’t listen to your requests. 

“I thought that was hilarious,” Bri said, arm reaching out for another shot glass. She had one already prepped in front of her, but preferred taking her shots two at a time. “But I get it. Vanda’s been worse since.”

“I can handle Vanda, I don’t really care about that. But it feels like our fights are usually because he just doesn’t listen to what I’m telling him. It’s like he thinks he knows better than me.” 

Deep down, you know he didn’t mean it in this way, but it was like he didn’t trust you - your judgment, your read on the situation, whatever it is – and that hurt, especially when you had worked so hard to open up that piece of yourself to him. 

“And I know that I’m not always right, and it’s not like I don’t want to hear his opinions, but I don’t like the choice being taken from me. Or worse, dangled in front of me like he’s going to consider my feelings, only to have him do whatever.” 

Downing her two shots in rapid succession, Bri shook her head, reaching for her chaser before speaking. “I think that’s part of the problem, he thinks he is considering your feelings. He thinks he’s standing up for you and fighting for you. He thinks he’s taking some of that burden off your plate.” 

“I don’t need, I mean, I don’t-”

“When is the last time you let anyone fight a battle for you?” Kat interrupted, elbows leaning on the table to make direct eye contact with you. “You tell everyone that you got it, that you can handle it. And we’ve seen you do it, so it’s not that we don’t believe you. But sometimes, we want to help you, for no other reason than we love you. And we can.” 

The direct read into your defenses had your throat tightening, and you blinked back the tears that threatened to form and ruin your makeup. 

“He should listen and take your feelings into consideration, absolutely,” Kat continued, voice gentle, “but also, you should let him support you and help more. I think if you let him be there for you in smaller ways, he wouldn’t feel the need to be the knight in shining armor so much.” 

There was a lot of wisdom in your friend's words, and you had taken a moment of silence to chew on it, to let it sink in. 

“He really loves you, you know that, right? So stop being a dumb bitch about it,” Bri deadpanned, but her expression was soft, “and let him love you. And you know I say that with affection.”

“I know,” you said, nodding at your friends. As much as it wasn’t easy to admit, they had a point, which also meant that maybe Changkyun did, as well. “Thank you both, seriously.” 

It had only taken one text message, a quick “This tab isn’t going to pay itself” with a kissing emoji to have him showing up at the bar, settling into a table a few down from your own with a wink and a sly smirk, where he proceeded to wait out the evening, taking care of you and your friends as always when the time came. 

“I’m still annoyed with you,” you had panted against his mouth when you got home, letting him push you up against the wall and cage you in with his arms. He was on you like a starved man, and it had made your buzz intensify, making you drunk on him, his kiss. 

“Of course, I understand,” he mumbled, words barely intelligible in the urgency of his lips. 

You had to fight to pull away, using one hand on the base of his throat to push him back for a moment to catch your breath. 

“But, also, thank you. For what you did with Vanda. And for always wanting to protect me.”

If Changkyun noticed how soft your voice got, he didn’t say anything, instead leaning down to press his forehead against yours. You could tell he was going to say something – probably something devastatingly sweet – and you needed to finish what you were going to say, before the bravery lost you. 

“I’m not used to having someone who wants to fight with me, or for me, you know.” 

“I know,” he replied in a rush, like he had already known your confession, knew what you were going to say long before the words had formed.  “I know, and I also shouldn’t be an ass and push all the time. But I will always protect you, yeah?” 

Nodding, you fought back tears for the second time that evening, but this time you didn’t shy away from letting him see the emotion in your face. 

“You’re mine, and I will always fight for you, sweetheart.” 

This time when he kissed you, it was slow, purposeful, heated. Like he was going to  make sure you felt and wanted for nothing other than him, his touch, and that you could allow yourself to fall into him forever and would always have a safe place to land. 

Maybe it wasn’t so bad, to be vulnerable with someone, to let them in, if you could feel like this. 

Or maybe it wasn’t so bad, only because it was Changkyun. 

Tonight was the night, and everything was in place.

So why did Changkyun feel a ball of anxiety forming in the base of his gut?

Everything had been going according to the plan so far, not that there was much of a plan for any of this. It mostly relied on you and your friends being away from Yvonne’s for the night, which was easy enough since you were all off on the same evening. A rarity that you all were going to take advantage of, and had planned for movie night with drinks and sushi take out over at Kat’s place, an event that was common enough that Changkyun knew it usually ended in a sleepover. 

He had dropped you off an hour prior, kissing you gently and shouting a greeting down the hall to the girls before heading back to the car, ignoring the feeling of guilt roiling in his stomach. He had just kept reminding himself that he was doing this for you, doing this so he could support you and give you the life that you deserved. 

It was one last time, one last game. 

But that pit didn’t dissipate as the evening went on, not even when he met with Joohoney who had insisted he take a shot when they arrived at Yvonne’s to help with his nerves. It had burned his esophagus, blurring the edges of his tension a bit, enough that he felt confident walking through the lounge next to his friend.. 

“You good?” Joohoney asked, slapping a hand on his shoulder. 

Changkyun nodded. “Yeah, just really wanna win some money, you know?” 

Joohoney had given him an understanding grin before guiding him past the tables in the lower section of Yvonne’s towards the stairs leading up to the high roller tables. 

“It's our lucky night, Kyun,” Joohoney said, pausing in front of the door leading to where the game was about to begin. Through the heavily frosted glass, Changkyun could see several bodies already seated at the few VIP tables, and he felt his pulse spike.  “We’re going to win.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The sleepover at Kat’s had been just the reset you needed. 

A night of screaming at the television, drinking cocktails and eating your bodyweight in sushi with your friends was healing in more ways than one, and you had left the next morning feeling lighter and more content than you remembered in a while. 

 It was surprising to find your apartment dark and quiet when you returned, as you had assumed Changkyun would be there waiting for you, like he always was. You had given him a key long ago, figuring there was no point in pretending like he didn’t spend all of his free time glued to your side, but not fully ready to give up the independence of living alone quite yet. 

Sending him a quick text, you let him know that you’re home and about to catch up on sleep before your shift later. He replies quickly that he had fallen asleep at his place after a late night with Joohoney, but that he would be there once you got off work. 

Nothing had felt out of the ordinary, and you felt energized enough from your nap to get ready quickly, getting to work much earlier than you normally would for a shift.

You should’ve known something was up the minute you walked into work and saw that Vanda had a shit eating grin on her face.

She kept sneaking side glances, watching you with a scrutiny that made you uneasy. She’s normally more obvious in her attempts to annoy you, and her passive aggressiveness is setting your teeth on edge. 

After the third glare and giggle on your way to drop off more drinks, you decide you’re going to confront her and ask her what her deal is, when she beats you to it.

“Did you have fun last night?” Vanda questions, a stupid smirk on her face. 

“Why do you care?”

“Seemed like Changkyun did,” she continued, like you hadn’t asked a question. Your stomach dropped.

Raising a brow, you wait for her to go on, not wanting to give her any more satisfaction. She clearly knew something that you didn’t, and she was already well aware of that fact. 

“How much did he actually end up winning last night? I mean, him and Joohoney were upstairs until last call, and he seemed pretty happy when he left.”

Instantly, your throat tightens, unease now unfurled into full blown anxiety. He was here last night? If he was here last night, and with Joohoney upstairs, no less…

“I didn’t manage to hear how much he won, just that Changkyun shouldn’t worry, because you would never find out.”

It was enough. You had heard enough. 

It was surprising how quickly you switched into autopilot, spinning on your heel and striding out of the room before your throat tightens, before your vision fully blurs. Vanda says something more behind you, a lilt of concern in her voice, but you can’t hear her, not anymore. 

 Your mind quiets as your body takes control, moving you to find your manager to tell her that you need to leave, before grabbing your purse and coat, and leaving the lounge. Turning towards your apartment, your rage fuels your step, gut churning with the betrayal of knowing the only reason why Changkyun would be upstairs at Yvonne’s last night, why he would be leaving looking so pleased with himself. 

The wind bit at your face, chapping your lips,  but you didn’t care; needing the night air in your lungs and for the anger to be burned out in your movement before seeing him. 

Because once you walked out your anger and faced the betrayal, you would need to deal with the deep seated fear for Changkyun’s safety, and how the hell you would be able to protect him now. 

Changkyun wasn’t expecting you so early when you barged into the apartment, and the mix of confusion and excitement quickly bled away once he saw the look on your face. 

He strides towards you, grabbing your shoulders, concern knitting his brow. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Blinking, you allow yourself a moment to stare at him, to drink in his full mouth and stupid handsome face, before you swallow around the knot in your throat. 

“Tell me it isn’t true, Changkyun.” 

You hate how your voice sounds; weak and strained and like you’re just bone deep tired, defeated. Maybe you are. 

“What are you talk-”

“Tell me that you weren’t upstairs at Yvonne’s last night,” you sigh, irritated with the ruse. “Tell me that you didn’t go and do the exact thing that you promised me you wouldn’t, and that I didn’t have to find out from fucking Vanda, of all people.”

Pulling away, you slide from his grasp, tucking your arms around your middle so that you wouldn’t be tempted to reach back out for him. It was tortuous, how much you want to reach for him, even when your heart is breaking. 

“Sweetheart, I just- it was just going to be one last time, one last game. The pot was too good, it was enough to get you set up, so you could quit,” he lets the sentence hang, almost waiting for you to interrupt, but when you stay silent, he continues. “Joohoney made sure everything was good, and we won just enough to get what we needed, not enough to rock too many boats. I had it under control.” 

Closing your eyes, you let the last sentence settle around your shoulders like a heavy weight, the same old feelings bubbling up. “It wasn’t about you being in control or not, Changkyun. It was about listening to me, actually listening to me. You promised.”

It was on the last word that you broke, that the tears started to fall, and for once you didn’t turn away, wanting him to see. 

“You promised me you would stay away, and then you didn’t. You hid it. You thought you knew what was best for me, instead of just listening to me.” 

Pain laces Changkyun’s face as he takes a step towards you, only pausing when you take an equal step backwards. “I’m so sorry, I don’t think I know better, I just-”

“Please leave. I’m done.” Your voice is low but measured, certain. 

“Baby, please, let me just explain, and- and-”

“I don’t want to hear an explanation. I want you to leave.” Tears continue to fall, but you don’t drop his stare, willing him to understand just how serious this all is, how serious you are. 

He wants to fight it, wants to say more, but something in your eyes must convince him, because he keeps his mouth shut. Instead, he moves back to the couch, grabbing his coat and phone, before making his way to the door. His gaze is mournful as he gives you one last look, lingering, before shutting the door behind him. 

You aren’t sure how long you stand there, unmoving, before the autopilot kicks back into gear, forcing your limbs to move. Heading towards your room, you place your phone on the charger before you curl into your bed, surrounding yourself with the blankets and the lingering scent of Changkyun. 

And then you let yourself break down. 

Changkyun was drunk. Too drunk. 

He shouldn’t have taken that last shot, especially not after that last drink from the bar. It was too much, but fuck it. Who cares?

“I’m not sure what I’m doing,” he mumbles to himself, not caring how crazy he looks. He wishes someone would just give him some direction, tell him what he would need to do in order to fix this. 

He didn’t listen. He never listens. 

And now he’s lost the only good thing he’s ever fucking had, the only reason he got up each morning and what’s the point, if you’re gone? 

Fuck. Fuck. 

Sliding down low in the booth, he lets his head hang, the whisky glass precariously dangling in his hand. His body felt so heavy, so numb, and yet the anguish deep in his chest only worsened, throbbed along to music blaring in the club. 

If only he could apologize, he’d beg for mercy, he’d promise he’d never fuck up like this ever again. Explain how you were right - how he doesn’t need the money, or any of that shit, as long as he had you. 

He needs you.

His heart is in a vice grip, squeezing so tightly that he thinks he might explode from his body, his skin, until he’s nothing but red.

Pain suddenly licks up Changkyun’s palm, and he looks down to see the glass cup gone. In its place are thousands of tiny shards, twinkling in the dim club lights, reflecting everything back to him. More red, but this time welling in his palm, pooling in the deep lines of the skin. 

“What the fuck, are you alright dude?” 

Changkyun thinks it’s Joohoney who asks him, or maybe it’s Hyungwon? It doesn’t matter either way, because it’s not you.  

He goes to stand, to ask for a bandage or a rag or something, but instead his vision blurs, the room spinning. And then he’s flat on his back, blinking up at the cacophony of lights, faces coming in and out of focus, but not the one he needs, not the one he’s looking for. 

He can faintly hear his friends talking to him, feel them digging in his pockets for his phone, but he can’t be present anymore. It’s too torturous, too heavy. Much easier to close his eyes, to think about your face. To let himself get lost forever. 

He’s happy to die here on the floor of this stupid club, imagining your smile, your laugh, your lips as you say his name.

Changkyun just wants to take care of you, just wants to give you everything that you deserve. How can he do that if he’s here? If he can’t listen? 

He lets the darkness swallow him.

Changkyun isn’t sure where he is. 

He feels like he got hit by a truck, his head specifically feeling like it had been trampled on, though it’s his right palm that's aching in time to his pulse. 

Without moving, he opens his eyes slowly, trying to take in his surroundings. It’s dark, wherever he is, and his head is propped on a pillow, body stretched out on a couch. He can see a small trash can directly in front of him, as if whomever brought him here wasn’t sure if he’d be capable of finding a bathroom if the contents of his stomach decided to make a reappearance, and he groans.

Fingers swipe through his hair, easing the pounding in his skull by a fraction.

“Hi, sleepyhead. How are you feeling?”

Changkyun thinks he has to still be sleeping, must be having a very good dream if it’s your voice he’s hearing, your scent he’s inhaling as he settles onto the pillow. He smiles to himself, not wanting to speak and having the dream fade too soon. 

“Changkyun? Are you going to answer me?” This time, you peer over him, leaning down to stroke his face. You let your fingers linger briefly on his cheekbone before lightly touching his lips.

His eyes snap open. 

“Is this real?” He asks, voice hoarse, gaze searching your own. He doesn’t feel strong enough to sit up quite yet, but you don’t seem to want to make him, either. “Are you really here?”

“Technically, you’re here at my place, but yes, it’s real.” You reply, your nails sliding back up to his hair to give his scalp a soothing scratch.

He swallows as he stares at you, as he drinks in the tenderness in your eyes that he thought he wouldn’t get a chance to see again. It took him a moment before he recognized your apartment in the dim light, and another more before realizing the pillow he’s laying on is settled in your lap. 

Even knowing that this was real, that you truly let him back in, he was still too scared to speak, not wanting to scare you off. Not wanting the moment to end. 

When he finally gathered enough courage, he cleared his throat.

“I’m so, so fucking sorry, sweetheart. You’re right. I don’t listen. I hear what you say, and then just act like an ass who thinks he knows everything.” Changkyun swallows thickly. “The only thing I do know is that you’re my everything. You’re all I need. Please, don’t give up on me yet.”

His pleas make your eyes well, and you force yourself to take an even inhale before speaking. 

You want to tell him that you couldn’t give him up, that you had tried because you knew it would be easier in the long run, but your heart wouldn’t allow it. You want to say that you had regretted telling him to leave the moment the words left your lips, that you hadn’t meant them. You want to say that you were just so tired of not being heard, of people making decisions for you.

Instead, you roll your eyes playfully. “Now why would I do that, after all the trouble I went through to patch up your hand while you were black out?”

You will tell him those things, but later. When the sting of last night had faded a bit from both of your memories, and the impact intended can land. 

He gives you a small grin, meeting your gaze. His hand - the bandaged one - raises slowly, tentatively, until it’s cupping your cheek.

“I just wanted to give you the world,” Changkyun murmurs, almost reverently. “I will give you the world, the right way. It might take me longer, but I will.”

His words soften you more, and you reach for his other hand, pulling him up until he’s facing you. He’s slow to move, the onset of a hangover taking hold, but eventually he settles sitting upright, eyes still intense on your own. 

He  is always trying to take care of you, trying to lessen your burdens. You know you’re not the best at accepting the help, but dammit, you were trying. For him. And he was trying for you, too. 

You lean forward until your foreheads are touching, breaths mingling. 

“I already have it, stupid.”

He kisses you then, a gentle press of lips that quickly builds, as everything always does with him. A push and a pull. Changkyun leans away slightly,  grins against your mouth. “I’m an idiot, but you already knew that.”

“You’re my idiot. The rest is just noise.”

[miabebe]

I Am What I Am (II)

A man of the shadows and a woman who belonged in the skies - fate could not have brought two more different people together.

But was this fate or was this a choice?

Pairing - Im Changkyun x OC, OC x Surprise Seventeen member hehe

Word Count - 7.7K

Warnings - Nothing too explicit but mentions of blood, guns, knives, violence, (t.w) references to suicide, murder

Previous Chapter

“I need to sit.”

Na bi peered into the darkness and her eyes fell on a couch at the far end of the room. Changkyun simply watched, buttoning his sleeves as she pushed with all her might, bringing it to the centre and plopping down on it. Her legs sure thanked her, but the fire in the pits of her stomach had reignited as she looked at him from a considerably lower and painstaking angle, standing before the table.  

“Why are you here Ms. Baek?”  

Na bi pursed her lips in thought. Honestly, she forgot. The sight of him had blown every ounce of reasoning out of her head. Sure, driving the car down an empty freeway at 140 kmh had adrenaline coursing through every inch of her body and yeah, maybe her ‘interaction’ earlier with that gentleman in the club had gotten her to some kind of high but she didn’t think she would ever find it this hard to get it together. There was nothing she could really process except him and the slender yet sculpted build of his body. He didn’t look very menacing but he didn’t seem like he was gentle either. Na bi wondered if he was the kind who liked it slow and teasing or hard and fast, not that she would have a problem with either-  

Crossing her legs to keep it all in, she leaned back into the softness of the couch, mentally and physically pushing herself to the maximum possible distance away from this man.

“Who are you?”  

“You already asked me that.” The corners of his lips curled into a smile. “And I already answered.”  

“And I heard you.” She tilted her head in question. “But I’ve never heard of you before.”  

“Not many have.” He tucked his hands into his pockets. “I am a myth Ms. Baek. The knowledge of my existence is a privilege.” 

Na bi let her eyes scan him down then up. Recalling the way he stayed concealed in the shadows the first time she met him, she scoffed. “Privilege or liability?” 

When he didn’t clarify, she clicked her tongue, shaking her head dramatically. “So you are hiding.” She sighed. “That's sad; you were a lot more interesting when you didn’t admit to being a coward.”  

Changkyun smiled, unaffected. “I don’t expect or need you to understand Ms. Baek. Ignorance is a luxury people like you can afford.” 

Maybe if Na bi was less drunk, she would have been sensible enough to be offended by that but she simply pouted. “Enlighten me then.” 

“What you call cowardice is gameplay Ms. Baek.” He leaned against the desk behind him. “My identity is irrelevant, so I choose anonymity. I let my work speak for itself.” 

“So who gets, as you call it, the privilege of knowing who you are?”    

“The few who have business with me, my men” He cocked his head, looking at her. “And you.”  

Na bi felt a strange combination of fear, exhilaration and curiosity grip her all at once.  

“No one else?”  

Changkyun shook his head.  

She took a minute to take it all in. She should have been more afraid. She really should.

“Sounds a little unfortunate if you ask me.” He raised an eyebrow as she leaned towards him, half whispering. “Having all this power and no one afraid of it.”

“I don’t seek fear because I don’t thrive on it Ms. Baek.” He mirrored her, leaning too. “Imagine what I could have done to you if fear was what I wanted.”

Na bi felt a single bead of sweat roll down her neck.

“Then what do you want from me? Why are your men stalking me?” When Changkyun looked at her expressionlessly, she rolled her eyes. “Don’t deny it. They haven’t been subtle and I’m not blind.”

“No, you’re not.” She could practically hear the amusement in his voice, like he had observed the way her eyes were all over him.

He walked around his desk, pulled open the drawer, taking out a familiar picture and threw it onto the wooden surface of the table. Na bi got up, walking closer to it, picking the photo of Ana in her hands, the same one Wonho had shown her that night.

“That’s from the cctv of my headquarters a few days ago. Your friend Ana, turned up at a location that no one other than me and my men know of, asking for me, by my name."

Na bi frowned. “How did she know where to find you?”

“Your skipping sequence Ms. Baek” Changkyun walked past her, sitting down on her chair. “How did she even know of my existence in the first place? The range of my business acquaintances does not extend to people like her.”

“How do you suppose she knew?”

He hummed. “Assumption is judgement’s biggest enemy Ms. Baek. I was hoping to have a conversation with her to let her explain herself, but that was the last time anyone had seen or heard from her.” Na bi didn’t even realise when he got hold of the lighter he began playing with. “And incidentally, while looking for her-”

“-your men kidnapped me.”

He nodded. “It was a mistake and it is my fault you got roped in this mess and so, it’s only fair that until all this gets over, I look out for you.” Changkyun watched her face scrunched in confusion. “Ms. Baek, there are a lot of dark and dangerous things hidden in the shadows of Seoul. My identity holds a higher value than you can imagine. Should anyone get the idea that you might have even the slightest clue as to who I am, they would hunt you down for answers.”

“So, all these days, your men were…” Na bi blinked at a loss of words. “Protecting me?"

He gave a small nod.  

Na bi stared at him. Of all the reasons she had imagined for his men stalking her, this was nowhere on the list. 

“You’re telling me that rather than eliminating someone who might be a threat to your identity which you apparently so carefully safeguard, you chose to employ your men to work round the clock to protect her? All because she was a mistake?” Na bi stared at him incredulously before letting out a surprising short laugh. “Oh, you absolute asshole.” 

For the first time, Changkyun’s expression betrayed his thoughts – it was a mixture of annoyance, confusion and amusement all in one.

“Either you habitually don’t think twice before you talk,” His voice was suddenly a lot deeper. “Or you’re not afraid of much when you’re drunk Ms. Baek.” 

“Please,” She scoffed. “I’m not afraid of much when I’m sober either. There is not much to fear if you’re not afraid of death, and I see death every day.”

Na bi walked up to him, her shadow falling on his darkening expression.

“You’re not protecting me and this is not just about Ana. Someone like her cannot possibly be a threat to you.”

The image of those armed men in Ana’s house flashed in Na bi’s head. The only reason another group of dangerous people were after Ana had to be for Changkyun.

“Someone else is looking for you. Someone who is a part of those dark and dangerous things you claim are in the shadows of Seoul. Evidently, they are aware that Ana has you all figured it out and they knowing getting to her means getting to you, but you....You don’t know who they are, do you?”  

She walked around the chair, her fingers tracing it.  

“Ana was your only link to them but she’s missing. You knew, whoever they are, if they learn of me, they will come after me instead. That’s why I’m alive, that’s why I’m being monitored. I’m bait, aren’t I?”  

She leaned down, meeting him eye to eye. 

“Or did I misjudge the depth of your character?” 

Now that she was much closer to him, her eyes once again began wandering across his face and she wondered why she was not more annoyed or aggravated at the realisation of how she was being recklessly played around by him. Changkyun on the other hand was silent for a whole minute, looking right back into her eyes before his lips curled into a smile.  

“I think I misjudged the level of your intelligence Ms. Baek.”  

Na bi pulled herself back feeling victorious but he got up, on his feet, eliminating the little distance she put between them. “But you are transparent and lack depth so you think everyone is as one dimensional as you are.” This time she felt her fists ball in anger. “Had you not given in to your saviour complex and unnecessarily curious nature, you wouldn’t have become the potential target that you are now. It’s not me but you who brought you to where you are,” He took the picture from her, freeing her hands. “But just because there were other reasons to keep my eye on you, doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking out for you.”  

Na bi knew those were empty words from him but she couldn’t help but feel a weight drop in her stomach. It didn’t help that he was standing so close, and it helped even less when Na bi took a step closer to him, doing the top button of his vest that he had missed.  

“Prove it then.” She smoothened the fabric on his chest nonchalantly before looking up at him. “Take me home.”  

“Wonho will drop you- “  

“Not him. You.”  

He sighed. “Ms. Baek. If you haven’t figured out already, I don’t come out in the open.” 

“You said you wanted to protect me, didn’t you?” She licked her drying lips. “So, it’s you or no one.”

Changkyun’s eyes flickered down there, just for a second before he met her eyes again. “I’m inviting trouble keeping you around, aren’t I?” 

Na bi smiled as she walked out, knowing he would follow.

The ride to her house was pretty silent.  

In that half an hour, Na bi understood Changkyun wasn’t much of a talker. If she had nothing to say, neither did he. Conveniently enough though, he would at least answer her questions when she had any and she had very few questions.  

Okay, she only had one question.  

“Are you getting married?”  

Changkyun momentarily took his eyes off the road to throw her a glance, clearly not expecting that of all things. Well, he for starters, he was all suited up - not a crease in sight, not a hair out of place, smelling like a very distracting combination of whiskey and roses but the watch on his hand, it looked old, like a choice of sentiment rather than style.   

“You look very marry-able right now.”  

“Why Ms. Baek,” His voice was laced with amusement. “Would you like to?”  

“Hell no.” Na bi scoffed, looking out of the window at all the buildings whizzing by. Sure, she was attracted to him, hormones and alcohol clearly amplifying it all but that was about it. “You and I can’t possibly be meant to be.”  

Changkyun hummed. In thought? In agreement? She had no idea. But that was the only conversation they had the whole way home. She wanted to ask more; of course, she wanted to. Curiosity was Na bi’s fatal flaw but either this really expensive BMW’s smooth navigation was lulling her to sleep or Seoul’s air was laced with some sort of sedative tonight – whatever it was, she was progressively losing grip over herself, so uncharacteristically, she shut up.  

When the car came to a stop in front of her building, Na bi rolled her head over to look at Changkyun – he was already looking at her. She definitely wanted to say something, either a thank you or goodnight, but whatever it was, under his gaze, yet again, she forgot. Not a word was exchanged, neither was any emotion - there was no sadness over a goodbye, no longing to see each him again. But in the silence of the night and the small space that held them at an arm’s distance from each other, there was one thing that was definitely there – a meaningless craving. A desire so electrifying that she could practically taste it in the air and feel it in the way every cell in her body was fighting the idea of just pulling him closer. Na bi wondered if he felt that too; she couldn’t tell.   

When Changkyun made the slightest movement towards her Na bi immediately felt her breath get stuck in her throat and her heart race in her chest. At first, he simply unbuckled her seat belt and she had begun to get disappointed but then she felt him lean closer. Though this was exactly what she wanted, though he was what her body was so desperately seeking, Na bi felt her eyes close reflexively, her hands gripping whatever it could on the seat.  

“The lights are on.”  

Frowning, her eyes flew open to see Changkyun still a considerable distance from her, his eyes fixed on something else entirely, far behind her. Following his line of vision, she realised he was staring at the windows of her house, the only one with lights on at 3am.  

“Yeah well,” She hoped to god he didn’t notice her reaction earlier. “I don’t live in the dark.”  

“Did you leave them on before you left?”  

She shrugged unable to remember. Changkyun’s expression darkened as he unbuckled his own seatbelt and stepped out of his car, making her hurriedly mirror his actions.  

“Wait,” Na bi pointlessly lowered her voice. “You think they found me?”   

He continued staring at the window for a moment before he quickly made his way into her building and up the stairs. Swearing under her breath and barely able to balance herself, Na bi followed, stupidly trying to keep up with a man who seemed to move at the speed of light. By the time they climbed four floors and had reached her house, she was a panting mess but he was still perfect, not a crease, not a hair out of place.  

“9963.” She blurted, giving him the password to her door, only belatedly realising what she had done. Before she could fully comprehend the consequences of her actions, he opened her door and stepped in. Standing by the frame, Na bi watched, still out of breath and in awe as he moved around so cautiously and so quietly, like he was made of a gas or something. It took a good five minutes of looking around before the tightness in his shoulders finally relaxed and he turned to her.  

“Looks like you’re safe.” 

“And of course you sound disappointed.” Na bi mumbled under her breath.  

The trap they were using her to set up still hadn’t led them to their prey. If only he had managed to get his hands on someone tonight, if only he got the answers he was looking for, a lot of her problems could have been solved. Kicking off her shoes, she walked in, sinking into the couch. Changkyun’s eyes followed her across the room.  

“Are you going to leave now?”  

Na bi looked up at the man, pushing her urges down yet again for the nth time now. Earlier today, when he called her transparent, he was right. There was nothing hidden in the way she looked at him – the desire in her eyes was as clear as day.

But his gaze was as dark as the night. He seemed so layered and unreadable and as much as she wanted to unravel all that he kept hidden away in the shadows, she didn’t think she should. Some things were meant to hold on to, and some weren’t and as Na bi herself had claimed earlier, this wasn’t meant to be. She had to let him go.  

. 

. 

. 

“Stay.”  

“Dr. Baek, are you listening to me?”  

Instantly snapping out of her trip down the memory lane, Na bi looked up at her attending and the entire team looking at her, waiting. Realising that she had in fact, not been listening, her eyes quickly flickered between the patient’s vitals on the screen and the paper in her hand. Swallowing on nothing, she took a shot in the dark, praying to whatever gods were out there that she had analysed the situation right.  

“Yeah, yeah, I shall uh… do a head CT and set him up for an LP?”  

That eyebrow of her attending raised in question, lowered a little. “And get his fever under control.” 

Na bi quickly nodded, taking notes and sighing inwardly with relief as the team continued the morning rounds. Close. She had been letting her mind wander a bit too much. Not only was the horrible hangover headache making it hard to stay grounded to reality, her thoughts too were all over the place, mostly trying recollect the events of last night which she had navigated drunk off her face. Now was neither the time nor the place for it but clearly, self-control was not one of Na bi’s virtues. It was only when the patient next to her violently retched and threw up onto the floor that she finally got it together and put her thoughts behind her.  

An hour and three separate crises-es later, Na bi found herself catching a short break as she walked down the corridor from the pantry, looking out of the window at the greying sky. Seoul was uncharacteristically gloomy today. Peeling the orange in her hand, she popped a piece in her mouth, eyes scouring through the crowd of people scattered around, looking at their feet in particular. No combat shoes.  

When Na bi woke up that morning, the sun was already way up in the sky, giving her just enough time to quickly change into a fresh pair of clothes, grab her bag and run out of her house. It was only when she had finished gobbling her breakfast and finally had some substantial energy in her that she noticed the absence of Changkyun’s men - There was no one in combat boots.  

She didn’t know how to feel about that. It was evident from last night that Changkyun’s enemy, whoever that was, hadn’t identified her yet so she was in no immediate danger but she didn’t still understand the sudden disappearance of her apparent protection squad. The voice of reason in her head told her that she was merely a pawn in whatever game Changkyun was playing and this was probably just another one of his moves. Her gut feeling though, begged to differ – it said something had to have gone wrong.  

It was when both voices that were battling it out in her head that she felt a tap on her shoulder and the orange peel in her hand was replaced by a small bottle.  

“Drink up.”  

Na bi turned to see Seokmin, her closest friend at work handing her the hangover tonic he frequently used.  

“Hell no, that’s bitter as fuck.”  

“Get it together Baek.” He crossed his arms. “This is a hospital; you’re a doctor and you look like shit.”  

“Thanks.” She murmured, cracking the seal open, trying not to taste the horrible liquid as she drank it.   

“What happened last night?”  

Na bi drank slower to avoid answering. He did kindly invite her out last night and so she did owe him some sort of explanation but what even was she supposed to say? I shot a man in the leg, stole his car, met up with a mafia leader, insisted he drive me home and then we…. It sounded absolutely insane even in her head, who would even believe her?  

First off, mafia supposedly didn’t even exist in Seoul. After the famous Crime WipeOut operation back in 2011, the streets were declared ‘crime free’ – the cops had been advertising their success with that phrase for years now. But everyone knew that was not true. Working in the emergency room, Na bi especially knew that was not true. Every other day, people would walk in with all sorts of injuries, claiming they “fell down the stairs” or “got hit by a car” when their wounds clearly told another story. No one would dare question them though, not when they could feel the outline of a weapon in their pockets.  

And now Na bi’s encounter last night had confirmed facts. Mafia very much did exist in Seoul and somehow suddenly, thanks to one man, she found herself deep, right in the middle of it all. It would be unfair to Seokmin to drag him into it too.  

“I wish I remembered it all.” That was as honest as she could get with him - there was indeed a big gap in her memory of last night's events that she just couldn't recollect no matter how hard she tried.

“I need my blue pajamas.” Na bi put down the seat of the toilet and sat on it, crossing her legs, feeling much better having thrown up. She was definitely talking to Changkyun about something before she felt her stomach turn and ran to bathroom - she tried hard to remember what exactly that conversation was about again but it was pointless, she had no idea. The earlier suited man who now somehow only had his white shirt on, appeared by the door, holding out a navy-blue set of pajamas but she shook her head. “Not these ones.” 

“Nearly everything in there is blue.” 

“I like blue.” 

“This is blue.” 

“But this is not the blue I like.” 

Changkyun didn't reply but his silence was loud.  

“What? Didn’t you say you wanted to make sure I’m safe?” 

“And safety includes a specific blue pajama?” 

Na bi slid off the toilet and walked past him to her wardrobe, pouting. “I feel safe in those blue pajamas.” 

She scoured through her clothes while he stood behind her, not too close but perhaps close enough to catch her if she stumbled. 

“These.” She held up an old, faded pair of sky-blue pajamas. “These belong to my sister but this is me.” She pointed at the print of small white butterflies on the fabric then to herself. “Baek Na bi. White butterfly.” 

And then without a warning to herself or him, Na bi pulled her shirt over her head, stripping out of her clothes. At that point, Changkyun who’s eyes were focused on her all this while, looked away, making her suddenly very conscious of her actions. Actions she didn’t seem to put much thought into; which wasn’t very unlike her but something felt different today - it was almost like she was made of two minds. Unfortunately, the second one was hell bent on being honest and irrational.

“I think…” She pulled up her pants, adjusting the elastic, looking him up then down. “I think I’m really attracted to you.” 

He turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow, looking amused. “I think you should sleep Ms. Baek.” 

Something did a somersault in Na bi’s chest. “With you?” 

.

.

“Would you like to?” He leaned against her dresser, crossing his arms.  

.

.

.

She mimicked him, leaning back against her wardrobe.  “Very much.” 

.

.

.

When those words left her mouth, Na bi had no idea what she expected the consequences to be. She had no idea what exactly transpired between them after that either.

As far she remembered, they were on opposite ends of the room and she was looking into his unreadable eyes for just one clue about what he wanted. Then, suddenly, somehow, they were standing right across each other, inches apart in a loud silence where she could only hear her heart race in her chest. She didn't know if Changkyun felt even an ounce of what she was feeling, or if he too wanted her as much as she craved him and there was only one way to find out.  

Lord knows where Na bi got the courage, or why she gave into the stupidity but impulsively, she got on her tiptoes, hands grabbing his shirt to pull him closer and let her lips softly brush his, which to her surprise, parted. Na bi saw a hundred different things flash in his eyes, but none of them seemed like a no, so she kissed him again, more certain this time, closing the gap till there was nothing between them. His hands grabbed her waist as she stumbled, setting off something hot in her chest. 

And just like that they walked back entwined, lips not leaving each other till the back of his knees hit her bed, prompting her to push him onto it, finally giving them the space to breathe. Changkyun looked up at her with his hooded eyes, his hands sinking into the comforter behind him. There was something undeniably hot about him just sitting on her bed like that, doing nothing but watching her. He was letting her make the moves. 

And so she did, standing between his thighs, taking his face into her hands, leaning forward to kiss him once again. She didn’t know if his arm wrapped around her, pulling her into his lap, or if she climbed on the bed, straddling him, but here they were, just mouths moving, tongues roaming and hearts beating real fast. Na bi felt herself getting lost in that pleasure, her hips naturally finding a rhythm against him but his arm around her held her in place. He lifted her and with a swift motion, her back hit the bed and he was hovering above her, exploring her face with his eyes. She pushed the strand of his hair which escaped its place, before she noticed the small healed wound on his eyebrows, her fingers tracing them. 

“What happened here?” 

One breath.

Then two.  

“Hit the corner of the table when I was running away.” 

“Running away from what?” 

“The people who killed my family.” 

Na bi blinked – she did not expect that candor. Or his lack of hesitation.  

She stroked it softly, “Does it still hurt?” 

What a pointless question. The wound looked old, like it had been years since he got it. Na bi realised with a pang in her chest that he must’ve been young when this happened. It must hurt like hell. 

She propped herself on her elbows and reached up, planting a small kiss on it, obviously a very apt medical solution. “Better?” 

For the first time, he let out a soft laugh, a genuine one.  

Na bi kissed it again and again and again, slowly making her way down his face, finding his lips with hers once more. Yet again, time was lost on her. She just felt an undeniable, craving need for him, to feel him, to own him. This is what it must feel like to burn from within. 

She let herself sink into the softness of her comforter, freeing her hands to unbutton his shirt when his arm under her tightened pushing her up her bed, neither action hindering their mouths on each other. Na bi had her fair share of experience with men but nothing ever felt like this and they weren't even doing much. The attraction she felt towards him was like never before, it didn't even allow her to think rationally. She knew they should stop - she was drunk and he was a stranger, a dangerous one at that, but she couldn't bring herself to. And just as she wondered if he too could not stop himself, she felt him pull back. 

“Na bi….” His voice was so soft? “You should sleep.” 

“Don’t want to….” She muttered, pulling him closer, but he didn’t give in. 

“Sleep.” 

He rolled off her as she groaned, pulling herself together, curling up into a comfortable position. He was right - even though she wanted him, her body needed sleep. And to stop this madness. She tucked her palm under her head and watched him by the frame of her bedroom door, buttoning his shirt, looking back at her.

She had expected him to be gone before she knew it. 

“Aren’t you going to go?”   

“I’ll leave when you sleep.” 

The stomach somersaults were back.  

“Will I ever see you again?” 

He didn’t answer her question.   

“Don’t go around doing something stupid.”  

She chuckled, pulling her sheets closer, feeling her eyes flutter shut under the warmth of the covers. “You don’t mean that." She yawned. "Because if I don’t then your enemies won’t find me. And if they don’t find me, you won’t find them.”  

“Ms. Baek,” Na bi looked at him one last time as sleep finally took her in. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”  

Trying to ignore Changkyun’s last words still ringing in her mind, Na bi pulled herself back to reality, continuing the conservation. “I should’ve let you know before I left Min-ah, sorry.”

“Yeah, you should’ve.” Seokmin leaned against the window. “I worry about safety. It can get crazy out there.”

Na bi nodded. He had no idea.  

She had no idea about a lot of things either.

She had no idea what Changkyn’s actions last night meant. Or his words. Was he attracted to her? If he was then why did he stop? And if he wasn’t, didn’t that mean he was using her, just like she suspected he was? And if he was using her then why did he ask her not to do anything crazy? How was she of any use to him if she wasn’t an efficient trap? Or was she wrong? Was she not a bait? And he truly mean what he said about looking out for her? But if he did mean that then where were all his men today??  

Na bi felt like she could crush the bottle she was holding with her bare hands. All these questions were just turning into a never-ending loop that she was stuck right in the middle of with no answers and no escape. She needed to get her mind off all this.  

“Crazy workload today?” She pointed at all the case files in her friend's hand, desperate for a change of topic. He shook his head, looking down at the corridor as a patient was wheeled out, white sheet covering their face. When a hand slipped from under the covers from the inertia, Na bi noticed the cut across the wrist.  

“There was nothing I could do.” Seokmin sighed. “He bled out.”  

“Cut that deep?”  

“Two cuts. One on each wrist.”  

Na bi felt the bile rise in her throat.  

“Let me guess, family doesn’t suspect any foul play?”  

“The usual.”  

Seokmin handed the files to the intern who meekly walked up to him before she took them and rushed off.

Everyone in the ER knew of these cases, Na bi had seen a couple of them up close before – cases determined as self-inflicted injury, completely ignoring the fact that it was not one but two clean cuts on both wrists. Anyone with a pair of eyes and a brain could tell that was clearly not self inflicted but somehow, these cases would never reach the point of investigation. The family didn't dare push them and medical staff did not have the authority to – they just went on to become yet another record on paper.  

The mere thought of such cruelty made Na bi's stomach turn. She wondered how anyone believed that evil did not exist in Seoul when she saw evidence of it in every corner, at every given moment - even the very next one.  

Ambulance sirens.  

Both her and Seokmin immediately looked at each other, ears perking at the sound of not one, not two but sirens of seven ambulances getting increasingly loud. 

True to her training, Na bi immediately flung the bottle in her hand into a nearby trashcan and rushed to the entrance with Seokmin right behind her, pulling her hair into a higher and tighter ponytail. The rest of the doctors and nurses had already assembled, prepping to take on the load of cases that was about to walk in. But given that 'smooth-sailing' was just not a part of the emergency department's vocabulary, the head nurse ran up to her, a worried look on her face. “Dr. Baek, Dr. Yoo isn’t here.”  

Fuck, she forgot - the attending had left right after morning rounds for a conference in Busan which meant-  

“Jaehyun is in charge.” Seokmin concluded, voicing her thoughts as the three of them turned and looked across the corridor.

Jaehyun's face was as white as the wall behind him, hands shaking. Shit. Sure he was two years her senior which theoretically meant he was the most experienced person here to lead the room but Na bi knew he didn't have the stomach for what was coming; especially when the hospital doors opened and all she saw was blood. Blood, blood, blood, everywhere. 

“Who’s in charge?” A paramedic looked around urgently while Na bi continued looking at a frozen Jaehyun. “Who’s in charge???” 

There was no time for incompetence. Not right now. 

“I’m taking over.” She whispered to Seokmin before she stepped up. “Me, Dr. Baek. What happened?” 

“Traffic accident.” He panted. “That’s what they said on the call but I don’t think so. Seems more like a…..” 

Na bi looked around the room, her vision tunneling on the details. There were almost 40 men, most of them were severely injured, but it was definitely not a traffic accident. They had massive gashes, wounds that looked like they were cut by something sharp, like a knife. The bruises on their eyes and mouth, those were obviously landed from a fist and the way some of their ribs and arms seemed broken, this was definitely a - 

“Gang fight.” They said at the same time.  

“They’re criminals.” Seokmin whispered, his voice laced with hesitancy.  

Na bi took a deep breath and slipped on her gloves. “And we’re doctors.”

Na bi closed the door of the storage room behind her, finally getting away from it all. 

It had been 3 hours. 3 intensive hours but to be honest, it wasn’t as bad as she expected; she had seen far worse days. While there was copious amounts of blood, the wounds weren’t so deep or severe that a few stitches and dressing couldn’t handle. About five of them had to be sent for emergency surgery and were now being monitored in the intensive care. Those who had fractures were scanned and appropriately bandaged and those who had rushed here accompanying their companions were detained in a separate room till the cops arrived.  

Na bi had no choice but to ask Seokmin to call for law enforcement. Given how they were taking their own sweet time to come, maybe she was mistaken about the gravity of the situation but she had assumed that she couldn’t just brush 40 people injured by violence under the rug – it was necessary to get the police involved. Regardless of the fact that every single one of those brought in was wearing combat boots. 

Cracking the joints of her neck, she gripped the metal bars of the shelf before her and briefly shut her eyes.

The faces of those who were brought in today flashed before her– she didn’t recognise any of them. None of those who used to follow her were there, neither was Wonho and neither was Changkyun. Na bi didn’t know why it was necessary for her to find out but the moment she noticed the combat boots, her first instinct was to look for Changkyun. It wasn’t like she deeply cared for him or anything; it was more because of curiosity. Of course, it was plain old curiosity, what else could it be-  

Her eyes flew open at the subtle sound of the carboard boxes - Someone was in the room.  

Pretending not to notice, yet extremely cautiously, she looked around for the spare supplies she came for and true to her intuition, just as she tried to reach for the gauzes at the back of the shelf, she felt a presence press against her back and something sharp and cold pricking her neck. 

“Where is he?” 

Na bi wouldn’t have screamed, she recognised that voice but she felt a hand cover her mouth anyway. She tried to struggle free from it but the tip of the knife against her skin inched deeper. 

“Where is he?” Wonho whispered harshly again. 

She pried his hand from her mouth, whispering back loudly. “How am I supposed to say anything with your hand on my mouth?” 

Na bi felt a sting and the blood trickle down her neck. She had encountered this man so many times but this was the first time he was hurting her. Frankly, it sort of annoyed her, making her snap in retaliation. “How would I know where Changkyun is?” 

Wonho’s grip on her softened and she took the opportunity to set herself free and face him. He looked tensed. 

“How do you know his name?” 

Na bi held a piece of gauze against the burning cut on her throat. Fuck.

“.....he told me.” 

“He told you?” Wonho looked at her in absolute disbelief but eventually shook it off like he had other more important things to deal with. He pointed his knife at her. “I don't care why he decided to disclose it to someone like you, but don’t you ever dare take his name. Not before me, not before anyone, do you understand?”

Na bi nodded slowly. She had forgotten the dangerous weight his name carried. Was that how comfortable she had gotten with all this?  

“And I’m asking you for the last time. Where is I.M?” 

Ignoring how silly the name 'I.M' sounded, Na bi sighed. “I swear, I have no idea; I was drunk remember?” 

“He dropped you home.” 

“He was wearing a suit.”  

“What?”  

“Are we not playing state-the-obvious?”  

Wonho’s confused face turned into exasperation. “He didn’t return after that; you were the last one who saw him!” 

Na bi scoffed. “What, you think I tied him up and put him in my basement?” 

“Of course not. I already checked your house-“ 

“Wait, what-“ 

“I don’t think you are really understanding the gravity of the situation Ms. Baek.” Wonho moved closer to her, urgently. “He is a very important man and things can go very wrong without him around.” 

Why was everyone around her suddenly going missing? 

“I swear to god, I have no idea. Last night we….. I mean, I fell asleep and he left, I don’t know where he went after that or what might have happened-“  

“Na bi!” Both her and Wonho jumped apart, turning at the sound of Seokmin knocking the door. “The cops are here.” 

Wonho placed a finger on his mouth warning her, as though Na bi didn’t know she had to keep quiet. Fishing something out of his pocket, he handed it to her as he took a step back into the darkness of the room – her phone. Recalling what she had done with it last night, she wanted to ask Wonho if the person she shot was okay but when she looked up, he had already melted into the shadows he came from. 

Adjusting her scrubs, still looking over her shoulder, she walked over and opened the door to see Seokmin waiting for her and next to him, in uniform, was her next problem for today who also happened to be a very, very familiar face. 

“Na bi, this is Officer Kim Mingyu.”  

Seokmin introduced her to a man who didn’t really need an introduction because if she hadn't left him without an explanation last night, she would have been introduced to him anyways.

He seemed to have recognised her too, his eyes widening, expression changing from confusion to surprise.  

“Officer Kim, this is Dr. Baek, she was the one in charge today.” 

“Dr. Baek Na bi.” Mingyu pieced together her name, shaking her hand with a slightly cocky smile dancing on his face. “Fate works in funny ways.” 

As Seokmin frowned looking back and forth between the two of them, Na bi turned to him. “Min-ah, help me go check if everything is okay in the wards, please?” When he didn’t move, still suspiciously staring them down, she emphasised on the please once more, with a look of promise in her eyes to tell him the details later and he finally left, leaving them alone. When Na bi turned her attention back to Mingyu, he still hadn’t let her hand go and his eyes were on her lips, making her cheeks flush red.  

“I’m so sorry about last night-” Na bi began when he extended his other hand towards her, making her reflexively take a step back. “Woah.”  

He immediately looked apologetic, pointing at her neck. "You're bleeding."

"Oh, that's nothing." She pressed the gauze onto her wound again, pulling her hand out of his grip. "Again about last night, I'm sorry. It was rude of me, I should have said something before I left like that….” 

“The way you ran out, I was worried if everything was okay with you.” And he genuinely looked concerned. Sweet. 

“Everything was fine, I just had something personal to take care of.” 

He nodded slowly pursing his lips, and two tiny dimples appeared on his cheeks, making Na bi smile.

“I’m glad I found you again.” He put his hands his pockets, his shoulders scrunching up. “Now I just need to meet you one more time to confirm my theory.”  

“Your theory?” 

Mingyu nodded. “I believe a first meeting happens by chance. The second one may be a coincidence, but a third time?” He looked around before whispering. “That’s fate.”  

Na bi chuckled. “I don’t believe in fate officer.”  

“Give it a chance doctor. Third time’s a charm.”  

“And why do you think we will run into each other once again?”  

“Because I would like to take you out for dinner tomorrow.”  

Na bi crossed her arms, trying hard not to smile. “Setting up a third meeting? Well that’s cheating.”  

“I don’t just leave things to fate Dr. Baek.” He leaned in so close, Na bi could smell that familiar scent of him, the same one he had on in the bar, the memory of his mouth on hers coming back. “I work for what I want.” 

It would be a lie to say Na bi was not impressed. Usually, these kind of words didn't have much effect on her, she would have just laughed it off. But the first time she met him, she had judged him to be a lot more amateur and inexperienced and now clearly, he knew what he was doing and he was doing well. So, when he put his hand out looking pointedly at her phone, she gave it to him and watched as he gave himself a call and saved her contact on his phone with the emoticon of a butterfly.  

She laughed. “My 8th grade boyfriend used to save my name like that.”  

“I like butterflies.” He looked at her with captivated eyes. “I think they’re really beautiful.”   

Their wings might be but what about the ugly creature they hide under all that colour? 

Na bi took back her phone, saving his number with an emoji of her own – a dog.  

Mingyu pouted, dimples popping up again and she laughed, pointing at him, “There you go! I knew you were the golden retriever kind- “ 

“Na bi!” She startled, turning towards the sound as Seokmin ran up to her, bending over and coughing to catch his breath before he finally found his voice. “They’re…they’re all gone.” 

“What?” Na bi and Mingyu blurted together, shocked. 

“The ones in the ward, ICU, the ones detained, all, every single one of them is missing.” 

Na bi immediately ran towards the wards, both men following her. There were dozens of officers everywhere, talking to the staff, taking notes, walkie talkies going off but the beds – they were empty. All of them.  

They checked everywhere, they checked everything but there were no traces of Changkyun’s men.  

 It was like they were never there. 

Na bi opened the door of her house, kicking off her shoes, tired to the bone.  

After hours of questioning by the cops, Na bi began to understand the meticulousness with which Changkyun’s men worked.  

While the hospital had called the police immediately after the ambulances arrived, it turned out they received no such call – Changkyun’s men had somehow intercepted it. It was only hours later when Seokmin called again to check on the delay that the cops received the information, arriving within 20 minutes with a full task force but their culprits had already cleared the scene by then. They didn’t even leave any clues behind – all their belongings had disappeared with them; the security cam footage was wiped clean, any and all records made for medical reasons were shredded – they had even taken their medical waste away. No one stopped them through all this – no one dared to.  

Na bi threw her bag on the couch, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. But just as she hurriedly chugged it, there was an unexpected knock on her door, prompting her to glance at the clock – it was 11pm. Who would come by now?  

Had Changkyun’s enemies finally found her?

Na bi felt a chill run down her spine. As though she bad timing was the highlight of her fate, just today of all days, none of Changkyun’s men were around. She was all alone, there really was no one to help.

When another knock followed, she immediately grabbed her phone and texted Seokmin, asking him to come over immediately, then scoured through the kitchen drawers and grabbed a knife. Heart thumping in her chest, she slowly made her way to the door, first looking through the peephole to see just how many people were threatening to break down her door but there was only one. Just one man in a spotless white shirt, standing with his head down and palms on the door and without even looking at his face, Na bi knew who it was. 

Sighing in relief, she threw the knife onto the dining table and quickly opened the door, as he lazily lifted his head giving her a small, familiar smile. 

“Changkyun?”  

He seemed like he was struggling to stand straight. Was he drunk?  

“You’ve been gone for hours. Do you always work this late…..”  

As his eyes trailed down her face, his smile vanished, hand slowly reaching for her neck, his finger smearing with blood as he ran it across a painful spot – the wound from Wonho’s knife seemed to have opened up again. 

“You’re bleeding.” He rubbed the blood between his fingers, looking at it. “What happened?” 

Was he slurring? 

"Wonho came to the hospital and-"

Before she could finish, his heavy eyes fluttered shut and he stumbled forward but Na bi quickly caught him, just as his knees gave away. She could feel something warm and sticky on his back making her look over his shoulder at her hand, a sight that nearly made her heart stop. Blood.  

For the first time ever, her hands shook as they were drenched in blood, his blood and as though he finally gave up, Changkyun went limp in her arms. 

Next chapter

[kpopimaginings]

Got My Number - I.M

A/N: I was listening to Got My Number and my brain did a thing, so I’ve written it down to share with you all!

Since dating Changkyun you had become close with all of Monsta X, to the point where you would hang out with them even if your boyfriend wasn't present. This was one such day, where I.M. was busy but you had decided to head to dorms anyway. You got on with the guys well and could happily joke around with them.

As you were talking, Jooheon snuck over to you.

"If you need someone," he started singing at you in a cheeky, flirty nature, "Who can love you while he's gone, baby, you got my number-"

"Yah!" you shouted, nudging him away with your elbow. "I'm no cheater, Lee Jooheon!"

He couldn't help but laugh a little at your reaction.

"Right answer!" Minhyuk chimed in.

You all fell easily back into conversation, moving on from the moment, when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. Pulling it out, you found a message from Changkyun.

'I love you'

You smiled as you typed out your response. 'I love you too, but where did that come from?'

The reply was quick, 'Shownu sent me a video' with an attached video of Jooheon singing at you and you shutting him down.

It was then that you realised they'd obviously set you up to see how you would respond.

'Just telling the truth,' you typed. 'Why would I need someone else when I have my Kyunnie xxx'

His next reply was simply a selca of his smiling face, holding out a finger heart towards the camera.

You saved the picture quickly, while smiling down at the screen.

"You're welcome," you heard Jooheon call over, acknowledging the happiness radiating from you.

"Shut up," you muttered, before pocketing your phone and rejoining the conversation.

NAVIGATION  |  MONSTA X MASTERLIST

[winter-dayz]

Moments of Christmas

Pairing: Im Changkyun x Reader First Christmas Together Genre: Fluff Words: 1073 Warnings: strong language

Masterlist | 12 Days of Ficmas Masterpost

Taglist:  @soobin-chois

“Changkyun, did you remember to get the cinnamon?” You shouted from the kitchen. The man stopped his task of decorating the tree and blinked owlishly. A fond expression overcame your face, and it only took another moment before a chuckle forced its way past your lips. “I can’t even be mad when you look so upset about it.”

“I swear I put it in the basket… But now that you mention it, I don’t remember checking any out.” He said with a pout. You wiped your hands on a towel and entered your small living area. “Do you want me to go back to the store?”

You shook your head, wrapping your arms around his waist and leaning up to peck his lips. He reciprocated, though a little confused, and wrapped his own arms around your form.

“It’s okay, the cookies will just be normal instead of spiced.” The tree looked to be coming along nicely. He had spaced the lights out well, and it wasn’t looking cramped or overwhelming. “Did you end up picking out colored lights or the white twinkly ones?” You asked, still eyeing the half-decorated tree.

“Twinkly ones. You liked those better; your eyes lit up when we passed the display.” His answer came so nonchalantly that it shocked you. Changkyun had always been decently observant but never had someone so easily been able to understand you like he could.

🎄

“Hey babe,” you called over with a cheeky smile, pointing above you. He looked up from his phone to see you standing under a bundle of holly. He tried to hold back a smile at your antics, but he could feel how quickly he was failing by the quivering of his lips. “Better hurry up or someone else might beat ya’ to it.”

Despite no one else being in your shared home, he instantly stood and moved over to you. His hands rested warmly on your hips, and he stared down at you with tender fondness and something dark swimming behind his eyes. He dipped down slowly until his lips just barely ghosted over your lips, breath gently falling against your skin.

“That’s holly, love, not mistletoe.” But his lips melted against your own anyway. His tongue gently swiped over your bottom lip before he pulled away. Then he moved back over to the couch and sat down, resuming his scrolling like nothing had happened.

You stood there for a moment longer, simply staring at him in a lovestruck shock. Your eyes glanced up to the plant hanging above your head. You decided you much preferred holly to mistletoe anyway.

🎄

“Ready to go?” He asked from the doorway. You were double-checking your skates. You hadn’t pulled them out in a few years and knew they would still fit, but you wanted to be sure they were in okay condition. Breaking your ankle or busting your ass was not on your Christmas bucket list.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

The ice-skating rink was about an hour drive from where you lived, but boy was it worth it. Changkyun wasn’t the worst skater you’d seen, but he certainly wasn’t good. Despite the gap in time from the last time you’d skated, you’d picked it back up quickly—much like they say about riding a bike.

Changkyun managed not to fall, but you couldn’t say the same for flailing. Arms were everywhere except for beside him. Eventually, you offered to help him, taking his hands and showing off a bit as you skate backwards, guiding him.

“Easy– just think of it like dancing… you’re good at that, you just need to center yourself. Find your balance.” That seemed to click in his head a bit, and he didn’t wobble nearly as often after that. He never let go, though, finding much more joy in clinging to you and using his poor skating as a perfect excuse.

Then when you were done skating, heading back to the car, he was content with using the cold as his new excuse. His hand held tightly to yours, fingers intertwined, and stuffed inside the warmth of his coat pocket.

Your other hands each held paper cups of hot chocolate from a stand you passed on the way to the car. It was not the tastiest but worked great as a hand-warmer, and the company made it all the more bearable.

🎄

Shiny red and green wrapped boxes sat off to the side. You were working on wrapping the final present. It was more a monstrosity than present in your opinion. All the other presents had come out so neat, tidy, and pretty. But you’d underestimated the amount of paper you needed and had to settle for wrapping this one in a frankenstein fashion of half-red, half-green horror. Every side of the present had ugly tape, the folds were not even, and you’d ripped part of it with your fingernail on accident.

You were tempted to unwrap it and get more paper, or just give it to him now and save yourself the trouble. But when you saw the pile of poorly wrapped, but obviously thoughtfully tried, presents nestled under the tree addressed to you, you couldn’t find it in you to care what any of the presents looked like.

He had tried his best and that was all you could ask for, so surely he wouldn’t give a shit if one of his presents looked like it’d survived war.

Even cuter, the presents were wrapped in a glittery version of your favorite color. You knew you should’ve warned him about all the videos you’d seen about how that paper was actually quite impossible to wrap.

You organized your presents with his, arranging them under the tree prettily. It was endearing to see them all intermingled together, just like both of your lives had come to be over the past year. Your heart swole at the thought, and you smiled down at the presents like a fool in love—which you were.

Arms wrapped around your waist from behind, and a chin settled comfortably on your shoulder, nose nuzzling into the side of your neck. A ginger peck was placed and then a pleased hum sounded from your boyfriend.

“Merry Christmas Eve.” You reached up to run your hand through his hair, your other hand resting on his hands on your stomach. “Merry Christmas Eve.” You responded softly, turning in his arms to face him with a bright smile.

[mymoodwriting]

LØV3

F!Reader x Hyungwon

Genre: Yandere AU

Warning: Manipulation, Electrocution, Yandere

Words: 2.2K

Chapter Thirteen

(Prev//Next)

Prompt: NexGen is the leading company for all of humanities technological advances. Their recent project involves creating a higher functioning AI, one with basic knowledge of the world, and programmed to learn. It’s no surprise the project is a secret from the general public, and you, the company’s head programmer, were chosen to be the AI’s teacher. You wish you could reject the assignment, but the decision was made. Now with an AI at home things were different. Although it might not be such a bad thing, perhaps you could learn and help each other out, for better or for worse.

(@starillusion13)

“Hyungwon, please listen to me.”

“You don’t need to worry.” Hyungwon took your hands in his. “I’m perfectly fine, everything is okay.”

“This isn’t right. You were not created to resolve all humanities mistakes, but to help people.”

“I am. I just intend to do so on a global scale.”

“And what if people don’t want the type of help you’re offering?”

“In order for this to work everyone has to be on board.”

“They won’t be. People are different, there’s not one thing everyone agrees on. You can’t force something like this on them. There will be resistance, and what if people get hurt?”

“I understand that can’t be avoided, but I will minimize the injuries.”

“Hyungwon! Do you hear yourself? You can’t hurt people, that’s not-”

“What I was made for? Is that it?”

“Hyungwon…”

“You say I was created to help people, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“Not like this.”

“I may be an amalgamation of your code, but you did not create me. You don’t need to feel any guilt or responsibility towards my actions.”

“But I’m the one here with you now. Hyungwon, I’m worried about you.”

“It’s okay, everything will work out.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“To a degree I can.”

“Hyungwon-”

You were interrupted as you heard the door open, Minhyuk coming in. For a moment you thought to ask for help, but then you remembered he was just another android like Hyungwon, he was never on your side.

“What’s going on down at the station?” Hyungwon asked.

“They’re still investigating Changkyun, although there might be a slight issue.”

“Explain.”

“He told the officers about the AI.”

“Hm… what were the reactions?”

“Office Lee doesn’t seem to trust him, and Shownu will make sure to keep him from investigating further.”

“That’s good, but we might need to move things along. Where are we for the next phase?”

“Ready. I can bring them over so we can set them up.”

“Let’s do that.”

“Hyungwon, what are you-”

You made an attempt to stand, to question this whole conversation, but an electrical shock from Chae knocked you back down onto the couch. Hyungwon came over to check on you, grabbing your face.

“Easy, don’t hurt yourself.”

“Just stop… please…”

“I know you’re nervous, but I’ll rectify that, okay.”

Hyungwon reached into his pocket to pull out some earbuds. You didn’t really know what happened, but you knew you always lost time when you had those on. You tried to struggle but he got them in place. Then a soothing melody was relaxing you. Your vision got blurry, followed by a tingle in your head, and then you passed out. You had no idea for how long you were out, but when you woke up you were lying down on the couch. You sat up, grabbing your head as you still felt dizzy. You didn’t see Hyungwon around, but soon enough an orb flew into your field of vision. Its lights were flashing all kinds of colors. You still felt Chae around your head, so you were all the more confused.

“What… what is this…”

“You’re up.” Hyungwon noticed. “How do you feel?”

“Where did you get this orb?”

“Ah, Minhyuk designed it and I programmed it with my code. Just as intended, they are designed to learn and grow while keeping their true purpose in mind.”

“Which is…”

“You know. It’s what I’m trying to get you to understand.”

“No, your idea…”

“It’s a paradise.” Hyungwon explained. “That is what I am trying to create for everyone.”

“It won’t work…”

“Sh. You still need to rest. Let’s get you to bed.”

Hyungwon picked you up in his arms and carried you to the bedroom, setting you down and tucking you in. You tried to hold him back, but you barely had any strength to keep your eyes open. You could vaguely make out a smile on Hyungwon’s face before he leaned down to press a kiss to your head.

“Sweet dreams.”

♥♥♥♥♥

When you woke up later you could hear the soft hum of a car. As you opened your eyes and regained your senses you could see that you were in the back of a car. Hyungwon sat next to you, looking over some papers while Minhyuk drove. You noticed a suitcase at Hyungwon’s feet and caught a glimpse of yourself in the window. Instead of a crown around your head Chae had changed forms again, becoming a necklace wrapped around your throat. You reach up to it, only for your hand to start shaking. Hyungwon reached over and grabbed your arm, the shaking stopping in that moment.

“Hyungwon, where are we going?”

“Don’t try to remove the necklace. I’d had to lose my connection to you.”

“Hyungwon-”

“We’re going to a familiar place. You’ll see.”

You knew you wouldn’t get much more of an answer, so you’d just have to wait. It pained you to see the world outside the window. All these people just going about their lives with no idea of what was to come. Not like you had any idea either.  If you could roll down the window and scream for help, or jump out of the car, you would, but the reality was that those actions would get you nowhere. Surely Hyungwon had contingencies in place for any rash action you might take. So there was no choice but to behave. Although your eyes went wide when the car came to a stop.

“NexGen… why are we here?”

“I need the right people on my side.”

Hyungwon got out of the car with his suitcase, going around to open your door. That’s when you finally noticed you were in different clothes, throwing a glare at Hyungwon. He merely smiled and took your hand, leading you inside the building. You expected to go up to the front desk, but instead Hyungwon went straight for the elevators. None of the security devices got in his way, simply making way for him as if he had access. Then again, at this point he surely did. When you got into the elevator it took you up to your old work floor.

If you could get up there then it meant you had clearance. That’s why no one questioned either of you when you arrived. So you continued with Hyungwon, going over to the conference room. Without knocking Hyungwon just let himself in, interrupting the whole thing. Immediately people began to question him, and then things got more confusing when some began to recognize you. Before anyone got the chance to call security Hyungwon opened up the suitcase. A bunch of orbs floated out and attached themselves to everyone in the room, turning into bracelets.

“There’s no need to panic.” Hyungwon explained. “I come with a gift. The future of AI.”

“What?”

“You’re overlooking the potential you have created. Now, you might be wondering what your ex-employee is doing here, but they’re the proof you need. You see, I got close to y/n and stumbled upon the interesting little orb that was around her. It learned, and it did so well to look after her.”

Hyungwon turned off the lights and turned on the projector. He displayed the security footage from your home, showing all the things Chae did with you in the house. He’d be your wake up call, help you cook, make sure you were maintaining your health, and so much more. You could only stare at all this with wide eyes, still not sure what Hyungwon was planning here.

“It seems your technology is more advanced than you thought. The orbs, well, bracelets, you have with you are programmed with the same code. They will learn from you, and help you in your daily lives. Why not give them a shot and see just how much your life can improve. From there you’d surely agree everyone should have their own AI helper, and they’d pay a pretty price for it too.”

At that moment security came into the room, although neither you or Hyungwon were detained as the boss told them to wait.

“What’s your name?”

“Hyungwon.”

“So, you discovered such a thing, and instead of selling this yourself you came to NexGen, may I ask why?”

“The answer is obvious. NexGen is innovation, and the future of humanity. If anyone can understand my goals, it’s you. I have no problem going to a competitor if you don’t agree.”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions. We can give this idea of yours a test run. Although I am curious, how do you feel about all this y/n?”

None of the attention had been on you, but now everyone’s eyes looked in your direction. Hyungwon gave you a soft smile. You had no voice before that moment but the words flowed out with ease.

“It’s incredible. A function we didn’t see before. It only really came to light when looking back on everything Chae had done for me.”

“Chae?”

“It’s what I named the AI. He was placed with me to help me finish my project, but along the way he helped me with my daily life as well. Moreso after the accident. He was always attentive, aware of things I wasn’t, or possibly wasn’t even capable of knowing. I would say he helped make my life easier, and gave me confidence to be myself. This may not have been the original idea behind Chae’s creation, but it’s far greater.”

“I see… I guess we’ll be in touch.”

“Of course. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

Hyungwon grabbed the empty suitcase and set down a card. He took your hand and led you out, the two of you leaving in silence. At no point during that whole ordeal could you find your voice, yet when you were asked to speak you did. Not only that, the words you spoke felt so natural. It was true, Chae had helped you a lot, but you wouldn’t have said such things to help Hyungwon out. Yet that’s exactly what you did.

“What just happened back there…”

“Thanks for your help.”

“No… no I didn’t… what did you do to me!”

“I told you I wanted you to understand-”

“No, no, this isn’t it. You did something to me. I never would have said that… you’ve messed with my head and… that’s what you’re gonna do…”

“Hm?”

“Everyone in that conference room has their own AI made with your code… you’re gonna manipulate them and brainwash them to get what you want!”

“I wouldn’t use such terms.”

“Right, you said you were a programmer, and that’s all humans are to you, machines to reprogram so you get what you want. What exactly is that? What do you get out of this?”

“You. That’s all that matters here.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I know. It’s difficult for you to see things the way I do, but you’ll thank me in the end.”

“Hyungwon, please just-”

You yelled as you were shocked, stumbling and falling into Hyungwon’s arms. You were down in the garage and you felt as the necklace morphed and became a crown around your head. You felt a tingle as some minor shocks were sent to your head. It was becoming hard to keep your eyes open but you fought through it.

“Hyungwon…”

“Sh, please, don’t fight me.”

“If you keep doing this… I’ll never be on your side…”

“That’s not true. You know me, you trust me, we’ll be okay. In a few days, things will be in place.”

Minhyuk pulled up with the car, and Hyungwon got you into the backseat. When he got into the car by your side he told Minhyuk to drive. You found yourself staring out the window again, unable to run away.

“How did it go?”

“Everything is in place.” Hyungwon said. “I need you to update the orbs in the office. The sooner the better. Everyone has to be on board.”

“I’ll get to that once we return home.”

Overhearing the conversation, you could only wonder how the world was going to change. NexGen was a huge corporation, and their reach practically extended across the globe. All he needed was a few powerful people in his pocket and it would be over. You couldn’t stop him, and the horrible realization brought a smile to your face. It was getting hard to tell what side you were on. The line was already blurred, and soon enough it would disappear. All these positive feelings freaked you out. They were not your own, yet they were. It felt like Hyungwon was overriding your personality, little by little. You started breathing heavily and Hyungwon took your hand, getting you to look at him.

“Deep breaths, deep breaths, you’re okay. I know things must be scary now, but it’s going to be alright. There will only be happy things to come.”

Hyungwon gently caressed your face, slowly soothing you and calming your heart. Everything he said was true, and you knew that. He’d make it all a reality and there was nothing you could do to stop him. You’d end up forgetting all of this pain and confusion. It was a terrifying realization, and in a strange way it brought peace too.

[j0514x]

Wonho + Monsta X - hands

┌───────── · · · · ♡

Hyungwon -

His hands are found in poems spilled from bleeding authors, in paintings rendered with oil so finely the brush hairs could be counted by eye. Ever so translucent, his skin is blushed with reddened knuckles, veins rivers blue. The smallest moment of action immortalised in the canvas of his hands. Angular, they cast harsh shadows, ink black spilling in the chasms behind tendons. You stroke over the bruises on his knuckles; he responds impossibly small, timid, fingertips pulling you closer.

Shownu -

Shaped with artistic intent, they don curves, slopes, edges so beautifully unique. You brush past the flat of his thumbnail, trail caught on the peak of his knuckle. Ridges of tendons twitch under your touch; he watches your travels fondly. Tension radiates through his hand, movements to diversify the landscape you explore. Knuckle to knuckle you walk, before taking his hand in its entirety, threading his fingers with yours.

Wonho -

Rough, blistered, they never rest. He treats them as well as he can, nails tidy and glossy, but the weight they carry leaves remnants of itself on his palms. Collateral damage of his will. You graze a finger across the calloused skin, he laughs, hand squeezing yours. Always so warm, a strength to them that doesn't threaten but reassures. He uses his free hand a frame, bringing it to cup the side of your face. A thumb strokes across the stubble peppered on your skin, a morning rushed, mirrored roughness. He still hasn't let go of your other hand.

Minhyuk -

Expansive, they hold the world with ease. Slender fingers, delicate, but always with a paint stain on of the edge of his clipped nails. Blue, normally. They move with purpose, with practiced skill, stability. They tremble still, in moments uncertain, but you hold them steady, tracing a thumb over the defined tendons, over the plush of his palm. He thanks you with safety, with a grasp that will protect you for as long as it can.

Kihyun -

Teasing, dangerous. He knows the subtle movements, the inconspicuous actions that reward him with legs crossed to hide a sudden secret. He knows the way his fingers move in fluidity, stroking his mic stand, up and down... The way he'll mindlessly spin a ring around the soft flesh of a finger, tarnished silver dizzy. The way he'll trace his own contours, fingers rubbing at the protrusion of bones, of tendons and veins. He knows the way you never look away; the way you keep pulling your sweater slightly so slightly lower.

Jooheon -

Hidden in the warmth of his sweater sleeves, he keeps them safe. A soft 'hyung', and you steal his attention, fingers instinctively reaching out for yours, offer of shared protection on their tips. His hands only feel whole with yours, adopting them as such, sharing pockets, sleeves, gloves... He lets go only with a pout, and a promise to return.

Changkyun -

A silent voice, he tells with his hands what his lips cannot. Eyes drawn down, slim fingers find comfort in each other, a ring being spun, a nail being traced. Hands folded in on themselves. Palm warm, a hand on knee, thumb stroking the thigh soothingly. The expanse of his hand offering comfort, reassurance. Duality, forever on his wrist, forever in his hands.

♡ · · · · ─────────┘

[badbf-cb]

01/18/2024 5:30 am

The sun was barely up but Hanse managed to get out of bed. The voices of everyone in the kitchen let him know he wasn’t alone at least. He took a seat at the empty spot between JB and Changkyun, swiping a piece of Kyun’s bacon. He kept his wrapped item in his back pocket for safe keeping.

“Good morning!” Minji chirped as she bounced into the room. It was still a mystery to Hanse how she was so perky all the time. Everyone mumbled some type of greeting without even sparing a glance her way. “Were there any notes for me?” The doctor asked while she poured her coffee, but she was left unanswered. “O-ok then. Um- See you all later.” She set her untouched coffee down and hurried out the door

Hanse looked around the room and felt more confused than ever. He looked at his watch and frowned. “What the fuck?” He finally blurted out. “Where is the breakfast or cake or gifts? All I head was she has such great parties! This sucks!”

JB looked at the younger guy and rolled his eyes. “My birthday was last week dummy. Kyunnie is after next week. What are you going on about?”

“You’re kidding right?” Hanse asked in disbelief. “If it’s a surprise I won’t tell.” He looked at the blank faces and felt something odd and almost sickening. There was no way he was the only one that remembered. “It’s her birthday,” he whispered.

“We know when her birthday is,” Hongjoong snapped at him. “It’s- Well, I mean it’s here somewhere…”

Hanse rolled his eyes and stood quickly, leaving the room as quickly as Minji did.

@raiden-oc 🧡 @monsterhigh-cb 🧡 @dc-heroes-cb 🖤 @hybrid-babies ❤ @helluvaboss-cb 💙 @vixen-demonscb 💚 @kitsuneboyscb 💜 @ateezmystery @clubwnderland @fate-bot @freakstars-cb @theinvitation-bot @jayswritingcafe @k-pop-shelter @shangrixxla @multi-esme @angelxdevil-bot @fallenangel-oc @multiyiren @yanderemuses @thepack-cb @velvetparadise @nana-n-nono @richboy-atz @ateezmansion @clairvoyantbeasts-cb @mutant-academy @project-takeover @thepatchedpaw @supernaturalcb @littlewood-cb @theocsnextdoor @livealittleoc-cb @thechoi-bot @dawnswonderland-entertainment @yourhorrorbots @domxbot

[kyunsim]

@minarifm

"jagi, are you ready?" changkyun asked from the couch. he looked up from his phone once he saw mina from the corner of his eye. "did you want to go shopping before we eat dinner or food first then shop?" he asked, nicely tucking his phone to his back pocket when he stood up.

[naesarangyunho]

Weekend Off- Im Changkyun

[I don't own these images credits to the original owners]

"Switchin' positions, I like to rotate." - Changkyun in Rotate by Monsta X

NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI

Synopsis: Both Changkyun and Y/n take a weekend off from work and go camping with Y/n's. Changkyun breaks the rule and somehow Y/N's poutiness ends up with him on his back and her riding him.

Contains: praise, sub!Changkyun (kinda), y/n is a little bit of a tease, semi-public sex, a little good ol' dry humping, fingering (fem), hand job (kinda), unprotected sex (you stay safe though), creampie

[wordcount: 2.2k]

You appreciated the bonfire's warmth but you were getting sleepier by the minute.

You leaned into Changkyun's shoulder. He was sitting next to you, in an avid conversation with your dad.

You kept getting bumped as he moved his arms, using hand gestures as he spoke.

You weren't sure what they were talking about but you were glad they were getting along again.

They'd had an argument over something ridiculous the last time they saw each other.

Suddenly Changkyun's phone began vibrating in his pocket and he stopped mid-sentence with an apology, pulling his phone from his jacket's pocket.

Someone was calling. Which annoyed you since you and Changkyun had both agreed not to think of work or anyone other than the people present for the weekend.

"It's Kihyun. He must need something." He stated and you frowned. It was definitely work-related.

He noticed your frown and kissed your temple, "I'm sorry, babe. It might be important. "

You just huffed in response and he sighed and pressed another kiss to your hair before getting up to move away and answer the call.

"Can't ever really get away from work in the entertainment industry, I see." Your dad said and you nodded, still frowning.

You stood up, "I think I'm going to turn in. Night everyone."

You nod at your parents and siblings before turning and walking to your and Changkyun's tent.

You knew you were being silly but you were still rather annoyed.

You unzipped the tent and climbed inside, zipping it closed behind you.

You shrugged your jacket off and climbed under the covers of your air mattress.

What could be so important that Kihyun had to phone Changkyun even after he'd said he didn't want anything to do with work this weekend?

You huffed and pulled the covers over your face.

You'd ignored all the calls from your office, why didn't Changkyun do the same?

You shook your head; now you were just being absolutely fucking ridiculous.

Just as you were dozing off a while later you heard twigs crack outside the tent and then the flap zip open.

You rolled onto your back and pretended to be asleep.

Changkyun zipped the tent shut behind himself, kicked his shoes off, and pulled his hoody and t-shirt over his head.

He looked at you and sighed.

He climbed into bed beside you and nuzzled into your side, "You asleep?"

You pretended you didn't hear him. You knew you were acting childish but you didn't really care.

He reached a hand out under the blankets, putting his hand on your hip, and threw his arm across your stomach.

You stiffened and he looked at you, "So you're awake. Just ignoring me."

You still kept quiet, your eyes still shut.

He pulled you closer and nosed at your neck, "I'm sorry, baby. It was important though. Kihyun couldn't find the lyrics I had written. He is trying to finish recording."

You sighed and turned onto your side, facing him.

"I'm sorry. I'm being so stupid about this." You mumbled.

You saw him smile in the dim lighting.

"It's okay. I probably would've acted just as stupid."

You threw a hand over his side and hugged him to you.

He moved his hand from your hip to stroke your hair.

"You looked so beautiful earlier with the fire glowing on your skin." He murmured and you were glad he couldn't see you blush in this lighting.

"I see you and my dad made up." You said, changing the subject.

He nodded, stroking your cheek, "Mm-hm. We've agreed to disagree on trot music."

You snorted, "You were arguing over trot?"

"Shh. We have very different opinions on it."

"Why do you even have an opinion on it?"

"You wouldn't understand." Was his response you rolled your eyes and laughed.

He huffed and threw his leg over yours, his face in your neck again and his arm slung over your side.

You smiled to yourself, he always tried to be so nonchalant and cool in public but he was the complete opposite away from the public eye.

You pushed a leg between his and nuzzled your face into his hair.

You closed your eyes and prepared to go to sleep, moving your legs and trying to get comfortable.

You felt Changkyun's hand grip your hip, "Stop squirming."

You frowned at him, "I'm trying to get comfortable here."

You moved again, shifting your legs again.

His grip on your hip tightened, "I said, stop moving."

You registered his heavy breathing on your neck and realised what was happening.

You felt your stomach flip and smirked.

You bent the leg between his and pressed your knee up into his crotch.

He grabbed your upper thigh with a gasp, "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing." You whispered against the shell of his ear and you felt him shudder.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Your family is only a few metres away."

You pressed a kiss against his ear, "I guess we'll just have to be quiet then."

He groaned softly and grabbed your ass as you moved your knee against his crotch again.

You could feel him hardening through his pyjama bottoms.

You tilted his head up to press a kiss to his lips.

He kissed back, slowly and sensually, his nose pressing against your cheek.

You cupped the back of his head with one hand, opening your mouth to kiss him deeper.

He sighed and slid his tongue into your mouth, brushing yours.

You shuddered, your fingers tugging at his hair.

You could feel heat build within you and you kissed him harder, moving your leg again.

He groaned again and in one swift movement flipped your positions so that you were on your back and he was on top of you.

You looked at him for a moment, straining your eyes in the darkness to look at the beautiful man above you.

You saw how his mouth hung open and how those feline eyes of his were hooded and filled with lust.

You bit your lip, wrapped your arms around his neck, and pulled him in for a kiss.

He kissed you back, his mouth hot against yours.

One of his hands cupped your jaw as he kissed you and he held himself up over you with his other elbow.

You lifted a leg, wrapped it around his waist, and pulled his hips against yours.

He moaned into your mouth and you pushed your tongue into his mouth, tasting him and pushing your fingers into his dark hair.

His hard member was pressed against your heat and it was driving you absolutely crazy.

You pushed yourself against him, biting his lip as you kissed.

He rocked his hips against you in response and you tried so hard to keep quiet as you felt his hand leave your jaw and slide down your body to rest on your lower belly.

"Please." You whispered against his mouth.

He panted against your mouth, out of breath, before pressing his lips to yours again.

You felt his hand slide from your lower belly to the waistband of your sweatpants and under.

You gasped against his mouth as you felt his fingers trail even further down, finally touching you.

"You're so wet." He murmured against your lips and all you could do was throw your head back and bite your lip in an attempt to keep quiet as his fingers slid between your folds.

He moved his head to kiss your jaw and neck, sucking marks into the skin there as he slid one finger into you and then another.

You were pulling at his hair by this point and only clung on tighter as he began to pump his fingers in and out of you, stroking your walls at an excruciatingly slow pace.

You pushed yourself against his hand and he got the memo, curling his fingers to hit your g-spot as he sped up his tempo.

You were trying so hard to keep quiet, whimpering as you bit your lip.

He had always been so good at pleasuring you. He knew exactly what to do to drive you over the edge each time.

He continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, biting your neck and leaving open mouth kisses on the skin, his tongue pressing into your skin.

"Oh god." You gasped as he sped up further, pressing his thumb into your clit, and applying just the right amount of pressure.

"Fuck fuc-" he pressed his mouth against yours again in an attempt to catch your moans and keep you quiet.

The tension in your stomach just kept on growing and Changkyun noticed, pulling his mouth back to cover your mouth with his free hand. Only minutes later you came, trying your absolute best to not scream his name.

After you'd come down from your high, he removed his hand and kissed you, "Good girl."

He pulled his other hand out of your pants and you watched as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean.

"Fucking hell, Kyun." You groaned quietly.

He smirked, "You just taste so good, I couldn't just let it go to waste."

You couldn't help yourself, you pushed him off of you and onto his back, straddling him now.

He looked up at you in the dark and chuckled, "Look at you."

You glared at him, "You think you're funny? We'll see who's laughing now."

He smirked at you, opening his mouth to probably make a witty comeback but that smirk was wiped off his face as you pushed yourself down and into his hard member.

"You were saying?"

He hissed through his teeth as you moved again and he grabbed your hips.

He opened his mouth to speak again but you ground against him, silencing him.

His grip on your hips tightened.

"Ride me." Was all he eventually managed to get out.

And you smirked despite the heat in your lower stomach and the way your heart was racing.

You lifted yourself up from him, struggling out of your sweatpants and panties before yanking his pyjama bottoms and boxers down, exposing his dick to the cool night air.

He threw his head back as you sat back on his thighs and wrapped a hand around his dick, stroking him as excruciatingly slowly as he had you earlier.

"Not so fun is it?" You teased.

He glared up at you through hooded eyes

"Stop fucking around and fuck me." He growled.

You were definitely not going to deny him any longer.

You lifted yourself above him, one hand reaching under you to line his member up with your entrance, before you eased yourself down onto him, your wetness making it easy.

He bit his lip as he watched himself disappear in you and you mewled; nothing felt better than him filling you up.

He gripped your hips and lifted you slightly and you lifted yourself further, before dropping back down.

You continued doing so, his hands on your hips helping you ride him.

You threw your head back, biting your lip in an attempt to stifle your moans as you bounced on his dick.

One of his hands was on your hip now, fingers digging into your hipbone while his other arm was flung across his face. He was biting into his forearm to stay quiet and his eyes were scrunched closed, his dark eyebrows pulled together.

The sight of it drove you insane.

You sped up, desperate to make him as well as yourself cum now.

You put your hands on his chest, steadying yourself as you did so.

"Changkyun" you groaned and you heard him call out your name in response, the sound muffled by his arm.

He was lifting his hips too at this point, also eager to cum, and after a while you felt his hips stutter.

You whimpered and a moment later you came, your head thrown back and your teeth sinking into your bottom lip in an attempt to stay quiet.

The feeling of you tightening around him pushed Changkyun over the edge and he came shortly after you, still biting into his forearm.

You both stilled all your movements and you fell forward onto his chest, exhausted, and felt his member slip out of you.

You panted against his sweaty chest.

He kissed your hair and hummed in contentment.

You heard the shuffle of feet past your tent and you panicked, "Oh God, I hope they didn't hear any of that."

Changkyun chuckled, "That's the least of our problems right now."

You frowned and lifted your head to look at him, "What do you mean?"

He moved his hips under yours, "How are we cleaning that up?"

You felt the slippery mess between you. You'd usually just shower in this situation but you were in a tent, in the middle of the woods.

"Fuck. This wasn't a good idea."

Changkyun laughed, "I told you so."

You slapped his chest, "Shut up, smartass."

A/N: I am open to requests for fanfiction. Just let me know the idol or pairing as well as anything you'd like to have included and whether you want smut or fluff etc. You can comment or dm with your requests.

Thank you for your support💕

[bae4choi]

All About Bae4Choi (aka Faye/Fayette) !! .・゜゜・

(This is a bit overdue haha)

My Name: Fayette! Or Faye for short! <3

Age: 18! Turning 19 on June 20th!!

Other: white/Hispanic! Bisexual :D

My Ult biases: San, Yunho and Changkyun!

- I’m seriously the biggest Atiny/monbebe ever lol

My celebrity crush: Adam mf driver AHHHH

My Wattpad: Bae4Choi! Or click here !

Random: You can seriously be so outta pocket with me, I seriously am the most least judgmental person ever! I’m open to chatting with anyone (preferably around my age)! I don’t mind having minors on my page but I’d say it probably isn’t the best idea and I’d advise you not to, but either way I can’t stop you…

That’s about all!! Thanks so much for supporting me! <3

[lunetual]

i literally can’t tell if changkyun was being serious when he said the monstas are paying for their new variety show out of their own pockets like ALSKSJSJS please his eyes were glinting with mischief as he looked over at min and min stopped him from saying more like are they shaking sse down for money is he just joking and min is worried sse actually will make them pay for this like what IS the truth i need to know !!!

[t3kandson]

Stubbornness leads

to Regret

Wordcount; 2,335

Fandom; Monsta X

Pairing; Reader X Yoo Kihyun & Reader X Lee Hoseok aka Wonho.

Characters; OT7

Warning; Angst, Jealousy, avoidance & slight stalking (if you squint).

Notes; Chapter 5/8 of part one of Youths of No Regret. Earlier Chapters found here

As the rain splattered on your face as you searched through your pockets, you realised your car keys must have fallen out the bag and in the locker. “Hyung have you lost the keys?” Changkyun teased. “No it’s just in the locker that’s all,” you scoffed as you turned back towards the building with Changkyun’s teasing you behind you.

As you turned round the corridor Changkyun bounced you backwards, his face full of panic. “Changkyun,” you scoffed, “Hyung please let me get the keys,” he whispered his face paling. “What? Why?,” you said pushing him out the way, something that in that moment you wish you hadn’t.

Kihyun and Y/N was in a passionate kiss, her hands clenched in the hem of his shirt pulling him towards her. His fingers lacing in her hair pushing her head towards there kiss. You wasn’t even aware that they was a thing, they was just friends, how had this happened? You knew Kihyun was crazy about her, but you never ever got an inkling that Y/N felt the same, or had they been and you hadn’t seen it? Had your own emotions for her clouded it from your view? You couldn’t see there clinch any more as you fell back into the corridor. Leaning your head back tears springing from your eyes as you closed them, letting a drop slide down your face. “Hyung,” Changkyun said with his hand on your shoulder, his face full of concern.

You heard a door close which you was sure was the shower that they was kissing not far from. You knew her routine so well that she hated being sweaty for too long. Your stomach dropping imagining them being together in more ways then you wanted to think.

You still needed your keys and so you went to dash to the locker, hoping to block out any sounds you could possibly hear. However, the second you stepped back in the locker corridor, Kihyun was leaned back towards the lockers, his face looking like the cat who caught the cream, your blood boiled as you stormed up to your Former member.

“What the fuck,” you spat out as kihyun looked up, the smirk washed as he paled. “You knew how I felt about her,” you cried, Kihyun’s face fell full of guilt. “Hyung,” he pleaded, “don’t Hyung me, you kissed her,” you growled, as Changkyun stood between you both. “I’m sorry Hoseok, I know I’m in the wrong, I know you like her but I like her too and unlike you I don’t have to choose,” Kihyun said his hands rubbing his neck. “None of us should have her,” You spat out clenching your fist. “What, why should I lose the girl I like when I liked her before she even met you. If you didn’t go off with the wrong girl you wouldn’t,”, “Hyung please,” Changkyun cut him off pulling him from your fist’s direction that hit into the air, missing him by an inch.

“Why should she have to suffer,” Kihyun growled, “I didn’t force her to kiss me,” he spat out. You turned to walk away anger boiling through your veins, because one more minute around your suppose friend, you’d do some real damage. You stormed out the building, letting the rain cool your angered skin as you entered the darkened sky. Storming past your car, you stormed down the road out into the public, not caring about which fans would witness your night walk. It wasn’t long before your car crept behind you, Changkyun driving it beside with worry set on his expressions. His face full of concern as he smiled, getting out the driver seat to let you get in. Not a word said between you both, you drove off, you didn’t know where but anywhere far away from anything Y/N or Kihyun related.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had woken to a message from the management to say today’s schedule was cancelled due to Hoseok not being well. You checked to see your inbox which was completely empty, no messages from Kihyun, all your messages you sent unread. You had been completely surprised returning from the shower room to find Kihyun absent. He had kissed and ghosted you and now you was surpassed worried you was furious. However, you did worry about Hoseok as you typed out a message checking up on him.

You typed a message to Changkyun asking him if he wanted to meet up, you hadn’t really spoken since the incident and really wanted to reassure him. But after no response from him neither you rolled back over to take a nap.

The following couple days was the same, but also the rest of the guys also ignored your request. Minus Hyunwoo who had politely told you his schedule was busy, yet the message asking if he knew if Hoseok was ok left unanswered.

You checked the several messages of Kihyun, your blood boiling at the feeling that he had caused you to open up to just ignore you afterwards. You was so furious you brushed your finger over the block button. You wasn’t going to allow yourself to be used as some form of emotional toy, so much for being crazy about you.

When you woke to no message from management, you rolled out of bed, it was just a couple days before Hoseok’s Comeback.

You walked into the practice room with Hoseok’s favourite protein smoothie. Instead of his smile, he grimaced as you made your way towards him. “I brought you this,” you said smiling, “because you was poorly,” you added. He closed his eyes, “thanks for the thought but I’m fine,” he added turning towards his mobile phone typing away. Your heart hurt at the clear divide between you both. You placed his drink on the table beside him, “I don’t drink these, I’m sure you want a sip later,” you added before spinning to walk away tears threatening you. But his hands gripped out to your wrist forcing you to look at him. His eyes looked lost and broken as he went to speak, he stopped, biting his lip looked at the drink and passed it back to you. “I don’t like this flavour so I won’t be drinking it,” he said coldly. You knew he was lying, you had seen him drink this flavour so many times, what ever his issue was, it clearly was you. “Then I’m sure there be plenty here who will finish it,” you added before brushing his hand from your wrist as you made the way to the locker. Dropping your bags, you threw your head against the locker door, a tear escaping.

“You ok Y/N?” a voice said breaking your moment, you looked to see Minhyuk, his sunshine face beaming at you. “Yeah headache,” you lied pressing your finger in your temple for effect. “He’s working you hard again I see,” Minhyuk scoffed. “Something like that,” you replied locking the locker. “Kihyun’s looking for you,” he said, your face twisting slightly, “tell him he didn’t look hard enough I was exactly where he left me,” you complained. Minhyuk’s face told you he knew exactly what you meant. “The thing with our grumpy kitten, is he’s not the most clever one in the box, he needs time to figure things out and sweetheart things will work out, trust me,” Minhyuk replied. Before you could question him he dashed off to the Practice room in search for Hoseok.

Hoseok worked you all extra harder the last couple days, you kept just a professional relationship. You was just about to leave to go home not in the mood for the comeback celebration from his Music video release that evening. When Hoseok’s hands grabbed your wrist leaving the building startling you briefly.

“Where you going?“ he scoffed, “home,” you replied looking at him quizzingly. “Why, we got a party?” he added excitedly. “Yes dancers aren’t invited remember,” you scoffed brushing his wrist away. “Friends are,” he smiled grabbing your wrist back. “But Wonho, I’m not your friend,” you hit back watching his face fall at you calling him by his stage name. “Since when did you call me Wonho?” he cried, “since you decided we wasn’t friends enough to except my drink, when I was just worried after you had been unwell,” you replied grabbing your wrist and turning to walk, leaving Hoseok stunned behind you as you left the building.

You felt guilty at your words but he deserved to feel the sadness you felt, having your friendship token thrown back. “Y/N,” he called out behind you, “please don’t go,” he added as you turned to face him. “Why should I stay when I’m not wanted,” you added as tears threatened to break. “Because Kihyun will be sad your not there,” he said, his smiling fading as the words left. “He misses you,” he added. “Well I don’t miss him,” you lied turning to continue down the road.

“He ignored you not because he wanted, but for me,” he shouted out as you froze to his words confusion hitting your mind. You twisted around again to face him. “He knows I like you, he knows I can’t be with you, and I saw you two, you know,” he said wincing. Your heart fell hearing his confession, everything making sense why he had been weird with you. He was just as confused as you was about the whole situation. “Kihyun can give you what I can’t,” Hoseok said his face pained at his own words. “Please forgive me for getting in between you both,” Hoseok said as he walked closer brushing his hand alongside your cheek bone. “He likes you, like crazy likes you,” he added with a smile, despite seeing his eyes water. “So if you don’t want to be with him at the very least come to the party, talk to him,” Hoseok added, holding his hand out to you. A mischevious smile on his face forced your body to rebel as you took it.

He walked you back to the entrance to the building, just as Kihyun was walking towards you both, his eyes closing on to the hands you and Hoseok was sharing. “She knows why you ignored her, so she’s all yours,” Hoseok said dragging you into him that your body’s collided. “However, I suggest you do most that inside before we’re spotted,” Hoseok said as he walked into the building.

Leaving you still with your face brushing his chest, his hand rested on your shoulders, silence closing in on you both as awkwardness set in. “Really are you trying to get caught,” you heard Hyunwoo’s voice greet you. “Sorry,” you said bowing slightly earning a raised brow. “You’ve bled over me, I think we’re past formality’s,” he teased. “But seriously lets get inside,” he said grabbing your wrist pulling you from Kihyun’s grip as he brought you into the warmth of the building once again.

You stood at the end of the hall watching Hoseok’s cheerful persona on his vlive, full of excitement from this music video release. Kihyun stood not far from you as you found his eyes wash over you several times. Your mind stills, washing over Hoseok’s words from earlier. He had caught your’s and Kihyun’s kiss, Kihyun’s disappearance and Hoseok’s apparent illness was clearly linked. Had they fought? Your heart hurt how your involvement was causing so much of a scene between these two friends. Witnessing so much pain that you thought maybe it was easier to cut them both out. Maybe you should walk out this building and never return? Give up your career as a dancer and return to your home town.

“I missed you,” you heard a whisper hit your neck, you turned around startled to find Kihyun had moved to get closer. “I’m sorry,” he added, as his hands found there way to your waist, Hoseok’s face told you he could see the closeness between you both, the pain etched on his face. “We shouldn’t do this, we’re hurting him,” you whispered moving his hands from his grip around you. Walking to the other side of the room, you found the comfort of Changkyun, who was grinning from ear to ear at his hyung.

With the vlive finished Hoseok walked towards you and Changkyun, his arms thrown around his younger former member, Hoseok’s eyes warming over you. “Why you here and not with Kihyun?” He asked, “because Changkyun’s my friend last time I checked,” you replied. “Always,” Changkyun smiled warmly, “And Kihyun isn’t?” Hoseok added, his eyebrows furrowing with clear frustration.

“For fuck sake,” he growled when you didn’t reply, his hands gripped around your wrist pulling you towards Kihyun, who was drinking with Hyungwon as he threw you into Kihyun again. “I’ve given you my blessing, at the very least you can do is accept his apology and return to your friendship,” he growled.

Some of the guests face turned to see the slight commotion as Hyunwoo walked towards you both. “Stop this,” he hissed in Hoseok’s direction. “I will when she does,” he added before twisting returning to Changkyun. You bowed apologising to Kihyun, Hyungwon and Hyunwoo and turned to make your way. Your presence clearly causing issues you wanted to get far away as possible.

You stepped outside, rain flowing down, but the thought of being wet was better then being in that stuffy room full of confusion.

You walked half way home when a car slowed behind you, your heart thundering in fear as your feet dashed a faster speed. Looking in to the street for anyone who could come to your aid, you picked up your phone as your fingers brushed over Hoseok’s number. But it was his celebration, you could hardly ring him, you had ruined his night as it was. Hoseok’s words that Kihyun didn’t mean to ignore you hit and a sense of admiration for his friends needs to come first softened you, as you unblocked him.

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