#poked around the channel found a pilot{?} for a show with the characters

[horse-shit]

i am. losing my mind

[dearestdaffodils]

Season 1, Episode 1: PILOT

A/N: A lot of quotes and character dialogue is taken from the show! I am not trying to take credit for the amazing work the writers and actors and everyone involved in this show did! I also left out writing scenes that don’t involve the main group (IE: Ward and Sarah talking with Lana Grubbs) and a few other scenes simply because I wasn’t quite sure how to write them. 

Warnings (for the whole series): violence (as it is in the show), swearing, mentions of abuse, underage drinking and smoking, drug use

Word Count: 3579

“The Outer Banks, paradise on earth.” I tune out John B’s voice, ignoring his ‘welcome to the OBX’ speech for the camera. He was determined to make a documentary about our lives this summer, though I really didn’t know why. 

Welcome to the OBX, an island divided in two. You either have two houses or two jobs, that’s what John B always says. That blond boy sitting next to me, that’s JJ. My boyfriend. He’s as local as they come. Latest in a very long line of fishing, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who make their living off the water. Don’t tell him I said this but he’s the best surfer I know. Mild kleptomaniac and probably a future tax cheat. 

The girl across from me is Kiara or Kie. When she’s not saving turtles or listening to Marley, or getting a dolphin tattoo, she hangs with us. None of us really know why she’s a rich kid after all. Next to her is the brains of our little operation. Pope. Finalist for the Lucas T. Vanderhorst Merit Scholarship and the smartest kid I know. 

The kid in the driver’s seat, the one who is paying more attention to his camera than the road, that’s John Booker Routledge, but everyone calls him John B. He’s kinda like my brother. He and his dad took me in when my family dumped me on their front porch when JB and I were about four. He drives me crazy and he knows it. 

And then there’s me. Y/N Y/L/N. Little Routledge as JB likes to call me even though I’m four months older than him. Big John disappeared nine months ago at sea, which means JB and I have been on our own since Uncle T split for Mississippi. Everyone insists that Big John is dead but John B refuses to sign the papers until he sees a body. 

Social workers have been on our asses nearly every day, trying to force us into foster care. John B and I have managed to avoid them so far. 

So this is how our story starts. Me losing nearly all of my second family and a social worker breathing down my neck. 

JB and I are probably the only two people in history to say this but thank god for hurricane Agatha. 

“Hurricane Agatha continues its steady march towards Kildare Island on the Outer Banks of North Carolina…” JB set the radio on the counter, turning up the volume as we listened for a miracle to keep DCS away. 

“Holy shit.” I look outside, taking in the dark sky and swirling wind. “JB, I think we found our miracle!” I shout over the storm siren, fishing my phone out of the couch cushions and dialing the number for DCS. “Yeah, I think we’re gonna have to reschedule.” I blurt into the phone, barely giving the woman time to answer. 

John B rips the phone out of my hand, hanging up and dragging me outside. “We gotta surf the storm surge!” 

“Are you insane?” I stumble after him, dodging tree branches. “Those aren’t surfable waves!” 

“Says who?” He laughs. “Come on!” He drags me along, pausing to grab our boards. 

I run after him, splashing into the water as the storm rages around us. I paddle after John B, surfing a few waves before the storm starts to pick up its pace. “JB! We gotta get inside!” I shout. John B stares out towards the open water, ignoring me. 

“JB!” I shout. “We have to go!” I turn to look at him, my gaze following his extended arm and index finger. My eyes land on a boat, getting tossed around in the storm. “John B, we don’t have time to worry about what those idiots are doing, let’s go!” 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

The morning after a hurricane always feels like something out of a movie. The silence fills the gaps of life, save for the sound of chickens and the occasional shouts from neighbors.

I peel my eyes open, hearing John B moving around in the kitchen. I swing my legs over the side of my bed (which is really just two mattresses stacked on top of each other) and slowly stand up. I shield my eyes from the sunlight pouring in from my windows, moving the towels that double as my curtains out of the way.

I grab my phone from the stack of books next to my bed, checking the time. “No service,” I mutter, opening my door and stepping onto the cold wood floor of the Chateau. 

“JJ, you been outside?” John B asks the blond boy, shaking his shoulder. 

“I have polio, bro. I can’t walk.” JJ mumbles, burying his face deeper into the pillow. 

I make my way to the front door, lightly swatting at JJ to get him up. “Oh man…” I whisper, looking outside. “That’s no good.” I survey the yard, taking in the damage. “What’re you thinking, JB?” 

“I’m thinkin’ that storm surge pushed all the crabs out on the marsh maze. It’s God tellin’ us to fish since DCS isn’t getting on a ferry anytime soon.” John B grins. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

I stand on the bow of the HMS Pogue with JJ, looking at all the damage. “We’ll be cleaning this all summer.” I murmur, shaking my head. 

“That is my nightmare.” John B pipes up from behind the wheel, pulling up parallel to the dock just outside Heyward’s. “Well, look who we have here.” 

“I can’t.” Pope mimics static, pretending to talk into a radio on his shoulder. “My pop’s got me on lockdown.” 

“Your dad’s a pussy. Over.” JJ does the same, looking directly at Heyward. 

“Oh, I heard that, you little bastard.” Heyward glares at JJ.

“We need your son.” JJ flashes one of his signature smiles.

“Yeah, and island rules.” I bite my lip to stifle a laugh. “Day after hurricane’s a free day.” 

“Who made that up?” Heyward looks between me and Pope. 

“Pentagon, I believe.” I laugh. “We have security clearance. I have a card.” 

“You think I’m stupid?” Heyward frowns as Pope moves towards the edge of the dock. 

“I’ll do it tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow.” Pope moves to jump into the boat as Heyward moves forward. 

“You think - no, no. Hell no. You doin’ it right now.” 

“Get in the boat, Pope,” I whisper. “Make a run for it.” 

Pope leaps into the boat, holding his hat on his head. “I promise I’ll do it tomorrow, dad!” 

“We’ll bring him back in one piece!” I call to Heyward, waving. 

The boys whoop and cheer, driving up to Kie’s dock. I smile wide, grabbing onto the dock as we wait for her. 

“Good morning!” Kie hurries down the dock, carrying her usual backpack and cooler, her hair neatly tied up on the top of her head. 

“Welcome aboard, fellow Pogue princess.” I laugh, saluting her. “Whatcha got? Juice boxes?”

“You know, just some yogurts and carrot sticks. I made sandwiches too, cut the crusts off how you like ‘em.” She teases, poking my nose. 

I help her onto the boat, grabbing a beer from the cooler as John B drives out into the marsh. He weaves through the channels, leaning back in the captain’s seat, looking as if he’s asleep at the wheel. I wouldn’t be concerned if he was though, he knows these waters better than he knows himself.  

“Can you go a little faster?” JJ asks, stepping up to the bow. “I got a party trick to show you.” He balances on the edge of the boat, tilting the beer bottle, letting the liquid flow freely from the bottle. 

“You’re getting beer in my hair!” Kie and I shout in unison, screaming and falling out of our seats as the boat hits something, stopping immediately. “Jesus, JB!” 

JJ groans, popping up from the water in front of the boat. “I think my heels touched the back of my head.” He chokes out. 

“What did you do?”  I push myself off the deck of the boat, resting a hand on John B’s shoulder. 

“Sandbar.” John B mumbles. “The channel changed.” 

“No shit, genius.” I shake my head. 

“Hey, I saved the beer, though!” JJ cheers. 

“Congrats, J.” I lean over the side, sticking my hand out to him. “Come on.” 

“Guys… I think there’s a boat down there.” Pope calls, looking over the other side of the boat. 

“Shut up, no way.” Kie scoffs. 

“I’m serious. There’s a boat down there.” Pope points. 

I join him on the side, looking down at the shape in the water. “Only one way to find out.” I shrug, quickly discarding my shirt and shorts before diving in. I swim down, peering around in the murky water. My eyes go wide and I swim up, grabbing onto the edge of the boat. “That’s a fucking Grady-White. A new one is like an easy 500 G’s.” 

“That’s the boat we saw when we surfed the surge.” John B looks at me. “Maybe it hit the jetty or something.” 

“Do we know whose boat that is?” Kie frowns. 

“No, but we’re about to find out.” I smile. 

“It’s way too deep.” JJ shakes his head. “You’re not going down there.” 

“Oh, for the weak and feeble, JJ.” John B chuckles. “Little Routledge can handle it.” He turns his attention to me, saluting me. “Diver down.” 

“Diver down.” I flip him off before diving back down, searching around the boat. I pop up after a moment, pushing my hair out of my face. 

“Any dead bodies?” Pope asks nervously. 

“Looting potential?” JJ asks at the same time. 

I shake my head, holding up a bright yellow tag with a key attached. “I found this motel key.” 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

I jump out of the boat as we reach the motel, tying the rope around a stump. “So, what’s the plan?” 

“You’ll see, bubba.” John B grabs my wrist and JJ’s arm, pulling us along. 

“Yeah, that doesn’t inspire confidence, dumbass.” I roll my eyes. “This place is a shitshow, doesn’t look like anywhere someone with a Grady-White stays.” 

“Motel or meth lab?” Kie mutters under her breath. 

“You be the judge,” Pope mutters back before giving me a pointed look. “Don’t let your boyfriend do anything stupid.” 

“I can’t make any promises.” I raise my hands in surrender as we walk off, going up the steps of the motel. 

John B leads us to the door, checking the number on the key as JJ knocks on the door. 

“Housekeeping!” JJ calls in a high pitched voice, waiting for an answer. 

“Should we try it?” John B asks, prompting nods from JJ and me.

We enter the room, closing the door behind us. I look around the room, handing John B a map from the bed. I move towards the bathroom, seeing John B messing with the safe out of the corner of my eye. I scan the walls of the dark and dirty room, shining my flashlight around

“You guys are gonna wanna see this.” He murmurs. 

JJ and I hurry over, looking in the safe. “Damn…” I whisper, looking at the stack of money, a gun laying on top of it.

JJ grins like a maniac, grabbing the gun from the safe. 

“JJ, put that down now!” I whisper-shout. 

“Just take a picture of me! Right here and then I’ll put it back!” 

“You want me to take a picture of you?” I raise an eyebrow, crossing my arms over my chest. “Make our own incriminating evidence?” I look up, hearing a tapping on the window. I hurry over, looking out to see Pope and Kie jumping up and down. 

“Cops!” Kie shouts quietly. 

“Shit, boys, time to go,” I whisper. “Cops.”

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

“Thanks for warning us so quickly.” I laugh, playfully shoving at Kie’s shoulder as we push off from the motel. 

“We would have warned you sooner except Pope was on the math team.” She rolls her eyes. 

“Did you guys find anything?” Pope asks. 

“No, I don’t think so.” JJ sighs before pulling out the gun and a stack of cash. “ Oh, yeah, we did.” 

“Are you serious?” Pope shouts in a high pitched voice. “I’m gonna lose my merit scholarship.” 

“At least you have us, right?” JJ grins. 

“I’m living the nightmare,” Pope whispers to himself. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

“It’s Scooter Grubbs. He was out during the storm. Check out this pic I got.”

“Dead body.”

“Insane.”

“Holy shit.” 

“What kind of boat did he have?”

“Somehow, that dirtbag copped a brand-new Grady-White. Everyone’s out looking for it.” 

The words seemed to hover around us as we drove back to the Chateau, following us as we collapsed into chairs on the porch. 

“Okay… so, um… we didn’t see anything.” John B takes off his hat, running a hand through his hair. “We don’t know anything.”

“We need to have total and complete amnesia.” Pope nods. 

“Actually, Pope is right for once.” JJ nods, slinging an arm around me as he slides into the seat next to me. “See, I agree with you sometimes. Deny, deny, deny.” 

“We can’t keep that money.” Kie paces up and down the porch. 

“Not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kiara.” JJ sighs. 

I lightly push at his chest, giving him a look. “We have to pass it off to Lana Grubbs.”

“Otherwise, it's bad karma.” Kie nods in agreement. 

“I don’t agree.” John B murmurs from the corner. “This is Scooter Grubbs we’re talking about. Same dude that’s buying individual cigarettes at the Porthole. Shit, one time I saw this dude begging for change in the Save-A-Lot parking lot because he needed gas. We’re talking about a dirtbag marina rat who’s never had more than 40 bucks in his pocket, and all of a sudden, he’s got a Grady-White? Just sayin’,” 

“We have to see what’s in the cargo hold of that wreck,” I speak up. “For now, we lay low and act normal.” 

“Kegger?” JJ grins. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌

As JB always says; you can’t understand the Outer Banks without understanding the boneyard. It's kinda like a three-layer burrito. There’s us and our friends, the working class derelicts. Then, there are the Kooks, the rich second-homers. They’re mostly from poncey-ass boarding schools, just rich trustafarian posers. Our natural enemies. And then, there are the Tourons. Totally clueless. Here for a week on vacation with their families. Chum for the sharks. 

I smile, making my way across the sand with drinks for me and JJ, passing Pope along the way. 

“It's kinda weird when on TV, we see people die, and they kinda just sit there, but in actuality, they would be shitting and farting up a storm.”

I laugh, shaking my head as I walk past Pope and the fire. I make my way over to JJ’s usual spot; a fallen tree half-buried in the sand. I hand JJ his drink, sipping mine. “Poor Pope.” I snicker, glancing at the other boy over my cup. “He just can’t figure out how to talk to girls.” 

“Sarah! Sarah, be careful, okay?” 

I turn my attention towards the metal buoy stuck in the sand, recognizing Topper’s voice as he tries to coax Sarah down from the buoy. 

That’s Sarah Cameron. Kook princess. Kiara’s best friend in the ninth grade, worst enemy in the tenth grade. JB works on her dad’s boats and I was supposed to be helping her stepmom with gardening but have basically become a glorified babysitter for the princess. And that’s Topper. Her not so pleasant boyfriend. Just saying his name makes me want to vomit. He actually thinks Pogues were bred to mow lawns. 

I watch as Topper lifts Sarah down, starting to walk her up the beach and back towards his car. I barely see JJ move forward, extending a cup in her face. 

“Sarah, can I interest you in a tasty Milwaukee beverage?” JJ smirks, frowning when she declines. “Is it not fancy enough for you?” 

“I’ll take it.” Topper reaches for the cup, glaring as JJ pulls it away. 

“If you said pretty please, maybe.” JJ teases. 

Topper moves to grab the cup, knocking into JJ’s hand and spilling the drink all over Sarah. “Dirty Pogues!” Topper growls as Sarah pushes him back. 

John B moves in front of JJ as I pull him away. Topper lunges at John B, knocking him into the water. “ Don’t make me drown you like your old man, all right?” Topper shouts, holding John B down in the water. 

JJ rushes forward, pressing the gun to Topper’s head and clicking the safety off. 

“JJ!” I gasp.

“Yeah, you know what that is. Your move, broski.” JJ huffs as Topper raises his hands in surrender, standing up. 

“Check your psycho boyfriend, Y/N!” Sarah whines.

“Okay, everyone, listen up! Get the hell off our side of the island!” JJ fires the gun twice into the air, watching as the crowd scatters.

“So much for laying low!” Pope hisses at JJ, helping Kie pick John B from the water. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

The next morning, JB was up before the roosters started crowing. The rest of the Pogues had returned to their respective homes. Kie had taken Pope home before returning to her house in Figure 8. JJ had left a small kiss on the crown of my head before disappearing into the trees.

I wander out of my room, wiping sleep from my eyes. “You look like you just swallowed a jellyfish.” I bump shoulders with John B. 

“Sheriff Peterkin just left…” He mumbles. “She’s asking questions. She said she can help us with DCS if we help her.”  

“Well… we’ll just give her the most information we can without us getting in trouble.” I sigh. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

“The three of us! We’ve got nothing to lose!” JJ huffs, gesturing between me, John B, and himself. “You’re not calling this off, John B. I have a plan. We borrow some scuba gear from Cameron’s big boat and then we go down to the wreck.” 

We probably should’ve learned a long long time ago to never listen to JJ. He’s filled to the brim of bad ideas, like stealing from JB’s rich boss. 

Big John said the island was America on steroids. The haves and have-nots like anyplace, but magnified and multiplied. The way JB and I see it, the game’s rigged. Maybe it always has been. No parents, money, and no one looking out for us. We got no chance unless we make it on our own. 

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  

“You took empty tanks, JB.” I sigh. 

“This one’s a quarter full.” John B mumbles. 

“So enough for one of us… I just love it when a plan comes together.” I rub my head in annoyance. 

“Does anyone even know how to dive?” John B asks.

“I read about it,” Pope speaks up.

“Great, Pope read about it. So someone’s gonna die.” I roll my eyes.

“Look, you put the thing in your mouth and breathe. How hard could it be?” JJ asks.

“If you come up too fast, nitrogen gets into your blood, and you get the bends.” Pope leans back in the captain’s seat. 

“Bends like, bend over and…” JJ giggles, bending over the wheel.

“The bends kill you.” Pope sighs, making JJ’s eyes go wide.

🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌  🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 🏄 🌊 🚌 

We all circle around John B as he kneels on the dock, holding the bag from the wreck. 

“Can we please just open the bag?” Pope huffs. 

“Damn, Pope. That’s a rare outburst of emotion.” I snicker.

“You guys are literally killing me with anticipation. Open the bag.”

John B opens the bag, pulling out a canister. He twists open the canister, letting a small circular compass fall out. 

“Oh, wow. Yup. That’s about right.” Pope sighs. “Good job, everybody. We found a compass. It's not worth anything.” 

“This was my father’s.” John B mumbles. 

[wickedsingularity]

Home [drabble]

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Steve Rogers x reader (but not really), Helen Cho makes an appearance Words: 1564 Warnings: Injuries, mention of physical and verbal abuse, children being locked up, angst, panic attack, unloving parents, so much...

Prompt/summary: For @cevansgirl​'s 1500 followers writing challenge! I've done the prompt "I found home in your arms". Just a short story of two people with not ideal backgrounds who have found love and comfort in each other.

It had been a rough mission, physically and mentally. Some old wounds had been... maybe not reopened, but the scabs had been scratched at and drops of metaphorical blood were trickling out. Add to that a black eye, cut lip, sore ribs and jaw, a slight limp, nosebleed and aching limbs, the flight home had been quiet.

Finding a room full of enhanced children was not something Steve and I had expected. We had been there because of an anonymous tip, an old seemingly abandoned apartment building that was really a HYDRA nest. After we had cleared the area, collected all the data we could find and thought we had been through it all, Steve had heard noises. And there, in a hidden room deep in the basement were about twenty enhanced children, all from the age of maybe 4 or 5 up until mid-teens. Locked away to be "rehabilitated" for having powers. We called for backup, needing to get them out of there.

I kept my cool until help came. Talking to the children, reassuring them. The evidence of the "rehabilitation" was visible on them, on their skin and in their eyes. The longer I was there with them, the more panicky I felt. When backup finally came, I rushed out in need of air, only to collapse in the tiny lavatory in our Quinjet, dry heaving and hyperventilating, the nosebleed I got from being headbutted starting up again.

Steve took care of everything and when he came back to the jet, I sat in the co-pilot chair, still panicky and struggling to breathe normally, but also feeling shame for not being able to control myself. Not to mention, my uniform was covered in even more blood than before. Steve didn't make anything of it. Instead he kissed the top of my head, got us into the air and activated the autopilot. Then he found a medkit and knelt down in front of me.

As gently as he could, he cleaned the cut on my lip and the worst of the nosebleed, just enough to last until Helen could take care of everything. When he was done, he laid a hand on my cheek and stared up at me, bright blue eyes telling me everything I needed to hear. I leaned into the warmth of his hand, closing my eyes for a moment. Soft lips pressed against mine, and some of my unease lifted.

He pulled back enough to lean his forehead against mine. "They will be fine," he whispered against my lips. I nodded barely noticeable but felt him smile against me. Then he stood up and put away the bloody gauze and the medkit, and came back with an icepack for his bruised eye and sore jaw and took over the control of the Quinjet again.

In the infirmary, Steve was having his ankle checked by a nurse. It was not necessary in the slightest, he didn't even limp anymore and it was feeling a lot better in the couple of hours it had taken to fly back and would be right as rain in the morning. But he knew it was pointless to protest. And it gave him a moment to look over at Doctor Cho treating the cut on his girl's lip, cleaning it better than he had done and then taping it.

The two women were talking quietly about something that brought a smile to her face and a giggle to come from Doctor Cho. Steve's lip pulled at the corner too. That was a good sign.

That room with the enhanced kids... As an enhanced human herself, her parents had sent her away to be rehabilitated when she was 7. She'd spent a couple of years in a place like that, being poked and prodded, been to "counselling", and basically been physically and verbally abused. Eventually, she and a few friends had managed to escape. A couple of them didn't make it far and that was something she didn't like to think about. She had tried to go home, but her parents had spat insults at her, saying she shouldn't exist, she wasn't right, she'd never be anything, they didn't have a daughter, and slammed the door in her face. Trying to stay under the radar, she and a couple of the kids that had escaped had lived on the streets for a while, until they managed to get up on their own feet. But she had never found her place.

That's how she and Steve found each other. The battle of New York opened her eyes to S.H.I.E.L.D. and she'd enlisted hoping it would give her somewhere to belong. Somewhere where she could use her abilities for something useful. Feel worthy. But it wasn't until she got paired with Steve for a mission and got to know him and bond with him over not feeling like they belonged in the world that things changed. Slowly, they found their place together. She showed him that there was something worth living in the now for, and he showed her that she meant the world to someone. Now, Steve knew he didn't – couldn't – belong anywhere without her. If he woke up in a different world, planet, universe tomorrow, as long as she was with him, he was home.

The nurse declared Steve's ankle well enough to not need a supportive brace, his jaw would be fine and his black eye was already colouring as if it had been days, so he was free to go. She was still being checked by Doctor Cho, who was now poking and prodding at her nose. Steve worried it might have been more damaged than it looked after she got headbutted by that HYDRA scumbag, but he trusted Doctor Cho to fix whatever it was. So, he decided he would go find a computer and write the report so she didn't have to.

I felt restless at home waiting for Steve. The best cheeseburger I knew tasted like cardboard with ketchup and pickles. My favourite pyjamas felt scratchy against my skin. Steve's art on the walls was unrecognizable. The couch felt hard and lumpy.

I wanted nothing but sleep, but my heart rate was through the roof and it was like I had ants in my blood. It was impossible to settle down. I tried my best to watch TV, but my legs bounced, my hands were fidgeting, I wanted to get out. And run, run, run, far away. I kept seeing the children in that room, sometimes they changed into the children I had been locked away with. Everything felt just like it did when I was there. Not belonging anywhere, nowhere to go, nothing. Just get away, away, away.

There was the sound of the door being unlocked and I started, nearly spitting out my heart. It opened and I picked up on the sound of familiar footsteps, breathing with relief. Boots were untied and pulled off. Then the padding of feet across the floor.

"Hi, doll," Steve said, leaning over the back of the couch, still looking dirty and bloody.

"Hi." I smiled, face feeling stiff.

"Smells like you showered already?"

"Yeah. I'll just go take one alone then."

"Dinner's in the fridge."

He grinned. "Love you."

"Love you too." I watched him as he walked into the bedroom, and then I heard him undress and head into the bathroom, starting up the shower. I tuned out the TV and just listened to the water running, leaning back in the couch. Imagining the water cascading down his naked body, blood and grime and soap running down the drain. If I hadn't felt exhaustion starting to pull me down, I would have joined him.

By the time he came back out, I had dozed off and didn't notice that he warmed up dinner, sat down next to me, ate and flipped through the channels. It wasn't until he put the empty dishes away and came back and put one arm under my knees and the other behind my back and pulled me gently towards him as he leaned back on the chaise that I woke up.

"Hi," I said sleepily, leaning into his chest.

"Hi. Some mission, huh?"

"They are going to be okay now." I felt that in my heart.

We sat in silence for a bit, letting the TV do the talking and I marvelled at how grateful I was to have Steve. How I had never felt grounded before I met him, and just how calm my soul was with him. I knew he felt the same about me, and that felt even more comforting to me. Being the man out of time and being reminded about it all the time in so many ways, I knew it wasn't easy. But he showed me in so many ways that I was for him the same that he was for me.

And today it had been my turn to have the old scabs scratched at.

"I want another cheeseburger."

A rumble sounded in his chest, his whole body shaking with laughter, and I couldn't help but laugh too. "You're incorrigible, doll."

"Duh."

Steve tightened his arms around me, still chuckling. Grinning, I took a deep breath, smelling his clean skin, the detergent on his shirt, a whiff of garlic on his breath. I had found home in his arms.

No tags this time. Probably won’t tag anymore.

[fuckyeahevanrwood]

'Westworld' Star Evan Rachel Wood Talks "Evil" Dolores Twist, Season 2

[Warning: This story contains spoilers for the season one finale of HBO's Westworld.]

Before Westworld became the internet's favorite water-cooler conversation, its theories as thoroughly dissected as the livestock butchers working on their hosts (an admittedly lopsided comparison skewing in the web's favor), there was the original fan — and she's also the original host.

Evan Rachel Wood not only stars in Westworld as the deeply driven Dolores, but she's among the show's very first theorists, according to many of her colleagues, and even according to the actress herself.

"After work, I would just sit and think about the show and try to figure it out," she told The Hollywood Reporter during an interview Monday. "Out of my thousands of theories, I got a few right."

Wood can relate to the masses of Westworld fans who feverishly worked to piece the puzzle together all through the season, having done so herself while on set. And indeed, Wood managed to correctly guess a few major twists, including one that involved her own character. It's not just William (Jimmi Simpson) and the Man in Black (Ed Harris) who share an identity, as revealed in the season finale; Dolores and the mysterious villain Wyatt are one and the same as well — though to hear Wood tell it, there's very little Dolores left these days.

Read on for Wood's reflections on the finale, her thoughts on Wyatt's Dolores takeover, the intense pressure that comes with holding a gun against Anthony Hopkins' head, and the show's expansion into samurai territory and beyond, as well as several of her own theories about the second season.

For what it's worth, this interview is taking place right as I'm watching the finale for a third time. I paused before you started beating up Ed Harris.

I have watched it over 10 times. I can't stop. I'm obsessed. It's really good. It blew me away. It was better than I expected. When I read the script, it was one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I had ever had in my hands. I couldn't believe how good it was.

It's a very active episode for you. We learn a lot about Dolores. We learn that she's Wyatt, for instance. She kills Anthony Hopkins' character Robert Ford at the end. The list goes on. What was your first reaction when you read the script and learned the scope of Dolores' arc?

Well, I had my suspicions. It was hilarious. While we filmed the first season, we didn't know our character arcs. I would be instructed to be "dark and menacing" in weird moments. I thought nothing of it. I thought it was part of Dolores waking up. Then they introduced this looming character of Wyatt, and I kept asking people on the set: "Have we cast him yet? When is he going to show up? Who's playing him? Who's Wyatt?" I went and looked everywhere, turned over every stone, and came up with nothing — and then I realized I hadn't turned over mine. I looked everywhere else, and figured it had to be me. So I asked [co-creator Jonathan Nolan], and he laughed and walked away. It wasn't confirmed until the [finale], and I was so excited. I thought it was a genius move on their part. This whole season, she's been going through this Jekyll and Hyde thing. We've seen Wyatt poke his head out at multiple times. When she slashes Logan's [Ben Barnes] face, or during her last speech to Ed Harris; halfway through, her voice shifts and the eyes get darker. That's totally Wyatt.

What are some of the differences in how you approach the two characters of Dolores and Wyatt?

It's funny. I kind of had to play five different characters. There's Dolores the character; there's Dolores analysis, when they're able to talk to the characters in an office; there's straight analysis mode; then there's Wyatt; and then there's Dolores' subconscious. Dolores' subconscious, I didn't realize that's what it was when I was playing it. They just kind of instructed me on the vibe. I thought I would just play this like Ford. I would make my subconscious as close to Ford as I can. (Laughs.) Not that that's how it was supposed to be, but as an actor, that's just what I did!

When in doubt, pretend to be Anthony Hopkins.

Yeah! (Laughs.) When I did realize what I was doing, we changed the makeup slightly. The eyes are a little darker. We contoured my face more. We darkened my eyebrows a little bit. I just tried to channel the most badass cowboy that we possibly could. The first time we see in Teddy's [James Marsden] memory Dolores walking in slow motion, that was the first time I got to walk over kind of hunched over with this weird strut. Dolores walks the same way every time. It's always shoulders out, arms folded in front of my chest. To be able to change it and walk with purpose and strength as this beast was really fun. I lowered my voice a lot and I dropped the accent slightly. Little details here and there. I'm really excited for season two, because … it was sad for me when I watched the finale. I didn't realize that in a way, Dolores' character does get killed off.

That's how you view it? When Dolores achieves consciousness, she's committing to Wyatt?

Yes. The way I interpret it, when she finds the center of the maze and is talking to herself at the end, consciousness is a conversation with yourself. It represents to me that Dolores is fully conscious. When she realizes who she has to become and it becomes her choice, Ford has just gotten through telling her that the divine lives in our minds. She unlocks Wyatt and allows him to take over and Dolores disappears. So that was very bittersweet.

What was your take on finding out that you were pulling the trigger on Robert Ford and taking Anthony Hopkins' character out of the equation?

I felt terrible! I read [the finale] and didn't know it was coming. It was on the very last page. I threw the script down and walked away with my mouth open for a good hour. I just couldn't believe it. When I got to set the first time I saw Anthony after I read it, I walked up to him and said, "I am so sorry. I am so sorry I have to kill you!" And he went, "No, no, no. It's all right. It's beautiful! It's really beautiful!" (Laughs.) He forgave me. He saw the poetry in it. I will say that shooting that scene was one of the most nerve-racking things I have ever had to do, because we're using real guns. We're very safe with them and they're not loaded. But dear god, I had to hold a gun up against Anthony Hopkins' head and pull the trigger, and after every take, I would go, "Please god, do not let this be the time that something goes horribly wrong and I am responsible for killing Anthony Hopkins. I won't be able to handle that." (Laughs.) That was terrifying. It was horrible.

Dolores turns the gun on the crowd, and we see her through Teddy's eyes. He looks terrified, and you can understand why. He and Dolores are star-crossed lovers, but he's also Wyatt's sworn adversary. Teddy is looking at his great love and his great enemy in the same person. Did you sense that conflict in the character?

Yes. I think the question on a lot of people's minds is if they're now going to be enemies, or are they going to join forces? I think that's a good question. I did love filming that scene. I think I really surprised James with my delivery. In my first take, I came up behind him and just pulled him into me and whispered in his ear, and when they yelled cut, he was just like, "Jesus Christ, Evan! What the hell?" (Laughs.) I had been this sweet and innocent Dolores with him, and now here was this sultry, primal, evil thing. I think I made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up a bit.

This episode confirmed that William and the Man in Black are the same person. How did you first find out about this twist?

I didn't know that Jimmi had guessed early on, but I will say that in episode two, when Jimmi and I filmed our first scene together — and really, that was the day we met, when he picks up the can and hands it to me and looks into my eyes … that was really us meeting each other for the first time. I remember, since I'd already shot the pilot and I had done that same scene with Ed, when we did it in episode two, my first thought was, "Oh my God, wouldn't that be so upsetting if Jimmi's character was Ed? But that wouldn't make sense." And as the show went on … at one point I thought Jimmi might be a host. I kept making up these backstories, and then it was around episode seven where I started getting the feeling that that's where it was going. All we were told about our storyline was that it was a beautiful and tragic love story, so we knew we were heading toward destruction, and we were nervous about that. At one point I kept saying, "God, I really hope you're not the Man in Black. That's so sad. And I really don't want to have to kill you!" (Laughs.) So there was that. But it was amazing storytelling, so we were excited by it, and it made us want to make the love story that much more believable in an evil way, to break people's hearts more. But it turns out that we were probably the most heartbroken people watching [the finale] last night. We didn't realize we would be. Jimmi and I hopped on FaceTime right after we watched the finale, and both of our faces were wet, we had tears streaming down our faces. We both didn't think it would hurt this much. Jimmi said it so beautifully: "We spent so much time building them up. I had no idea it was going to hurt so much watching them fall." As actors, we worked on that relationship for a year together. We really kind of experienced Westworld more than anybody else. We were given these characters, we weren't told our narratives, we were sent out into the desert, and since we only found out what was going on episode by episode, we really got to live in the moment, and live in the shock of certain moments. So much of it felt very real. So we were so heartbroken last night, just because we realized Dolores and William will never be in love like that again. The experience meant so much to us, and I love what we did together. And the good thing about Westworld is we've established we can move forward and backward in time. Nobody's ever truly gone. So who knows what the story will be with young William and Dolores — if it's over or if it's done. Who knows?

Another major moment in the finale involves the reveal of what fans are calling "Samurai World." Are you practicing your sword training for season two?

I have no idea what's going to happen with that. One can only hope that I'm going to eventually have to start taking some classes and learn how to sword fight. The only thing I do know is that when I met with [co-creator Lisa Joy] and Jonah for the first time, I said, "This is great, because if there's any action on the show, I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Do." And Lisa's eyebrows perked right up. She looked over at Jonah and said: "Mm! That might come in handy!" So I don't know. It did come in handy for when I [fought] Ed Harris. I got to set and asked how we were going to do this. Is he going to be in a pulley or in a rig? Jonah told me that I was just going to drag him. And I said, "You know I'm not really a robot, right? I'm not saying I can't drag him, but I might not be able to make it look cool." But we did it. That was just dead Ed Harris weight.

In interviews with some of your Westworld colleagues, you're often described as someone who was always trying to solve the mysteries of the show. It's interesting, considering the fandom around the show. There's this feverish appetite to puzzle out what's going to happen next. Do you relate to those fans?

So hard. It makes me so excited that other people are just as crazy about it as me, because I would get to set and somebody would say, "Good morning, Evan!" And I would say, "Oh my God, what if it's this." I would just jump in with a theory. After work, I would just sit and think about the show and try to figure it out. I questioned the Man in Black theory in episode two, but didn't pick it up again until later in the season. I didn't know Bernard was going to be a host. I did, however, guess he was going to be Arnold, and I kind of guessed that I was Wyatt. Out of my thousands of theories, I got a few right! But I did get surprised a few times.

What are some of your biggest questions heading into season two, then?

Well, the only thing I know is that we'll see a very different side of Dolores, and that Wyatt has fully taken over. If I can speak just in theories now, literally basing this off of nothing — these are Evan Rachel Wood's theories and I'm taking no clues or cues, only what's coming out of my brain.

Fair enough. You're the original theorist, we're just following your lead.

I'm hoping that over the years, I'll get to play many, many different characters. That would be my hope. I think that's a lot of the actors' hopes, the ones who are playing hosts at least. Technically, we could be anybody or anything. That leaves the possibilities wide open. I'm really excited to see the many incarnations of Dolores, if that is in fact true; I really don't know. I really want to know where Westworld is. They have not told us, or at least they did not tell me. I do have theories! (Laughs.) But I really want that question answered. And I'm curious to see what the other worlds are, aside from the one we saw in the finale. I don't think they will be the same as the film, obviously. There are endless possibilities there. I'm curious to see how they keep playing with the timelines, and if we'll remain in the past, present, future, all in one. And I want to know what's going to happen if and when Maeve finds her daughter — and if it's still her daughter, or if her daughter has turned into someone else.

Hopefully it won't require too much arm-twisting to get Dolores and Maeve in a scene together.

I'm really looking forward to that. I only got one scene with Thandie, and that was a real bummer. I think she's just incredible. I would certainly look forward to this newfound Dolores and newfound Maeve either joining forces or going toe to toe.

[symbianosgames]

Fifteen years ago, Blizzard released the fantasy RTS Warcraft III: Reign of Chaos. The following year, a mod of that game called Defense of the Ancients created the popular and lucrative multiplayer online battle arena (MOBA) genre. Two years ago today, Blizzard brought things full circle by releasing their own MOBA, Heroes of the Storm. 

The 2015 game is like Blizzard's version of Smash Bros: A mix of characters drawn from its other franchises (Starcraft, Diablo, Warcraft, The Lost Viking, and now Overwatch), rebuilt in a genre that has its roots in the company's rich strategy game history.

As Heroes' development has continued, it's been worth paying attention to how Blizzard differentiates its MOBA from its more-established competitors. While it's noteworthy that Blizzard's biggest differentiator is the choice to use multiple maps, it's also worth tracking how it applies the company's renowned polish to its myriad of heroes. 

We wanted to learn a little more about how Heroes of the Storm tweaks and rebalances characters from other franchises and genres. Luckily, Kent-Erik Hagman, lead hero designer on the game, was willing to talk us through the process of conceptualizing, designing, and refining three heroes that show how Blizzard has put its own stamp on the MOBA genre.

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Cho’gall first came up in discussions about a month before the technical alpha started—we had this pitch for a Hero that had a relatively standard ogre mage fantasy. But then we looked at that second head, and said to ourselves, "There's got to be more we can do here!" There were some basic ideas—maybe you select a second talent for the second head; maybe the second head is constantly casting a spell, and as the first head, you need to try to work with it.

"We didn’t want this to be two Heroes glommed onto a single body, so we tried out various levels of interaction between the two heads."

Eventually, there started to be this collective consciousness trending towards doing more with that second head. Multiple members of the team from multiple disciplines (art, engineering, design) were all pitching this idea of the "two-player Hero." He already has two heads so it seemed like such a natural fit, we had to run with it!

We quickly found that there were a lot of ways to do a two-player Hero, but each one had various potential pitfalls. We decided to focus each head in its role, and isolate the movement controls to a single head (Cho). We didn’t want this to be two Heroes glommed onto a single body, so we tried out various levels of interaction between the two heads. In fact, the first iteration of Rune Bomb had Cho summon these orbiting Bombs that would just passively rotate clockwise around his body a good distance away from him, and Gall would have to use Shadowflame to pop the bombs. We quickly discovered, however, that this was incredibly frustrating to play, and not very rewarding.

Cho'gall is one of the biggest technical hurdles ever overcome by our engineering and technical design staff. First we had to figure out how to get the second player there. Setting up Cho was relatively straightforward for our engine—he's just another Hero. Gall, on the other hand, is an "invisible, uninteractive" unit that is grafted onto Cho, forced to travel where he goes. When we were first working on the pair, we came across many situations that could disjoint these two brothers from each other. Our technical design team did a great job answering each new issue quickly so we could get back to playtesting!

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Thankfully we had already developed Abathur—a Hero who offered a similar gameplay experience. We looked at Gall as more of a concentrated version of Abathur, where he was attached to another Hero’s body. The more we played with Cho'gall, the more we started to look at them as Cho driving the vehicle with Gall as his gunner. Cho exists to get Gall into position to deal the damage. We gave Cho his mobility to help him be the "driver" for the two. We initially tried to make most of his mobility have some sort of wind-up or visual tell, so that Gall would know that his firing position was about to change.

Looking back, I think there were two parts to the process of making Cho’gall where we underestimated how difficult it would be to get Cho’gall working to our satisfaction. The first was the coordination factor. We started with what were some pretty tough coordination requirements for Rune Bomb, since they sounded pretty easy on paper. Gall didn't have a "Runic Blast" to detonate the bomb. Instead, his low cooldown Shadowflame was supposed to "pop" any Runic Bomb that Cho had, to create this fun two-player combo. It seemed straightforward, but once the rubber hit the road, we were shocked by how tricky it was to get working. We eventually tried simpler versions until we landed on giving Gall a "detonate" button in the form of Runic Blast. It ended up feeling so much better for Gall, as you no longer felt punished for using your Shadowflame on cooldown, which is what you wanted to do.

The other difficulty in the process was the actual playtesting. The logistics for our daily playtests were not set up to comfortably handle the two-headed Hero. We quickly realized we needed to start doing formal assignments for who was playing what Hero in a playtest to make sure enough people got to try both Cho and Gall and provide their valuable feedback. It got especially rough when talents started getting implemented, as usually each talent needs its own game (or two or three if there are certain synergies) to test, and then when you double it all for the second head . . . it can be quite the task to playtest each Hero and each talent! Going back, I think we should have worked as a team to set up more structure to those playtests to get good coverage on all of Cho'gall's kit and talents.

Other HotS characters ride a mount for a speed boost. Cho'Gall carries his.

Our animation team had so much fun animating Cho’gall. Early on, in our internal art page, we saw the Cho’gall animation of him carrying a horse, set to the Last of the Mohicans theme. Immediately a group of us designers walked over to the animator who made it and we all fell to our knees shouting, "We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!"   

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Ironically enough, D.Va's two forms was retreading ground we had already covered, but probably in a space that doesn't seem connected at all: Lt. Morales' Medivac. While in Mech Mode, Pilot D.Va is really just riding around in her own "Medivac," which is functionally what her Mech is. As an interesting aside, it was also implemented by the same technical designer who had implemented Cho’gall, and looking back had said, "Man, I should've made Cho’gall a Medivac!" 

We definitely wanted D.Va's "thing" to be her two forms: Mech and Pilot. Most of our Tanks and Bruisers have some sort of way to stay in the fight, be it a self-heal (E.T.C., Stitches) or an increasing health pool (Diablo). For D.Va, we wanted the second health bar of her Pilot mode to be her extra survivability, and have it tied to her ability to get back into a Mech before being killed. We also felt that this two-formed Hero, the tanky disruptor and the damaging backline Hero, lent itself to a unique playstyle in our game.

A mech-less D.Va doling out a Big Shot attack

"This two-formed Hero, the tanky disruptor and the damaging backline Hero, lent itself to a unique playstyle."

It had to do with that call to making her Hero identity be the two different forms she can take. We wanted to see her switch back and forth often from the very beginning of a game, just as she does in so many Overwatch matches. Making it her E ability allowed us to explore new Heroics for this Hero. Many potential Heroics were pitched, and in the process, we quickly latched onto the idea of having a "Mech Heroic" and a "Pilot Heroic." Bunny Hop was a pretty quick win, but Big Shot took a lot longer to develop. For a good 4 weeks, her Pilot Heroic was "Stun Gun," which let her channel a stun onto an enemy she tagged with her gun, allowing her to combo with Self-Destruct. But after playing with it, we axed it and explored Big Shot, and quickly fell in love with it. It felt like such a natural fit for what Pilot D.Va is trying to accomplish: deal high poke damage from afar, trying to bait an engagement with having a fresh Mech at the ready.

Working on Overwatch Heroes has been a blast. It's quite a treat to take a stellar Hero from another game and ask yourself, "How does this translate into Heroes of the Storm?" I think if there's anything we've walked away with in all this, it’s understanding the nuance between perceived differences between the two games, versus real differences. There are a lot of obvious differences when you look at the two games, but as we dove into the design and began translating from her Overwatch kit, we quickly realized that just because you think something might obviously be different, it's not quite the case, and vice versa. Designing these Heroes in this game really boils down to figuring out the essence of that Hero, and then re-expressing that in Heroes of the Storm.

When developing Heroes, we'll often talk about the "internal salt meter." A new Hero will enter playtesting, and naturally someone will be grumpy they died to a new mechanic. We all get it, Heroes can be a tough game competitively. It's one where you’re constantly fighting your opponents, meaning one of you will die. When you factor this in, and you bring in a new Hero, the salt will be focused on that new Hero. To that extent, we had left Stun Gun in as a Heroic for D.Va for quite some time, assuming that people would start to learn it better (it’s key to know that at this point in development, we have temp art, temp sounds, and no voiceover callouts, so it can be rough). But I think in retrospect, we may have held onto it for too long. That being said, each new Hero is a learning experience. Much like how Heroes of the Storm has evolved over time into the game we have today, we bring the lessons we learned from each Hero forward to make the next one even better.

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We started with this idea for Ragnaros as a "Core Hero," or a Hero that would replace your Core, and operate from there. There were a tremendous number of hurdles that popped up in trying to replace our Core. It turned out that there were a multitude of systems that had been built with the assumption of what the Core was all along, that we had no longer been aware of. Replacing it led to some serious time spent investigating these systems and de-coupling the specific Core units so that the "Ragnaros" Core could fit with it nicely.

The strong fantasy players associate with each Hero in our game means that they have certain expectations for how we deliver on that fantasy. For instance, the origin of having two Heroic abilities on each Hero (instead of just one) was Arthas. Everyone's seen the Wrath of the Lich King cinematic: Arthas summons an army of ghouls, Arthas summons Sindragosa—it's simply not Arthas if he's not doing both!  To address this feedback, we came back with the idea of the second Heroic. As for Ragnaros, in some ways his strong Raid Boss fantasy was limiting. We had this pitch with the Sons of Flame that would be your temporary avatars out there in the world for you, while you did your Elemental Lord thing across the map. That design, while promising, had to be abandoned to make it feel like you could be Ragnaros himself more often.

Ragnaros rolls a Living Meteor at a foe

Surprisingly, it was more of an issue for our pre-existing Battlegrounds than it was the new ones in development. We quickly found on Cursed Hollow and Towers of Doom that we needed to be careful with the range and duration of his Molten Core to make it so he wasn’t too oppressive in stalling a Tribute or Altar capture. On Blackheart's Bay and Sky Temple, there were some initial fears over "Big Rag" (as his Raid Boss form became known in the office) being able to soak up those shots, effectively negating them. That, like many other designs, turned out to be not nearly as scary as it sounded. On Battlegrounds like Haunted Mines, Battlefield of Eternity, and Infernal Shrines, our balance team put in some serious work to get the tuning just right on his health and damage bonuses against those map mechanics!

We had fun designing his vector ability, Living Meteor. When we got to designing his talents, we quickly learned that the most fun pairing were the redirect and longer range talents. In fact, we discovered they were so much fun together that we felt comfortable collapsing them into one. We also were learning a ton about Questing talents, and decided that when we have two fun synergy mechanics, it makes sense to have them both on the same Quest talent. It was a good crystallization of knowledge we were starting to develop about what makes for fun and engaging Questing talents.