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#politeness costs nothing
opha · 26 days
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it feels like proshippers are kinda circling the drain discourse-wise. they keep cycling between "you're in denial/bad/a bigot if you're anti-harassment over fiction but don't accept the proship label/You Are Proship" and "f/f shippers are the aggressors for criticizing fandom attitudes toward women/it's a natural occurrence for fandom to not care about women/[insert some other mealy-mouthed sexist bullshit]" month to month and about half the time it ends in dogpiling that they simply refuse to label as such because they each individually act like *their* comments are super salient and therefore not dogpiling
and each time it's hot air for the sake of hot air bc a significant chunk of proship discoursers are in it for the exact same reason antis are, at a base level. the repetition just makes it more obvious
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prozach27 · 2 months
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#ok I’m so proud of myself bc this involves finance which is something I avoid at all costs but like I did it!!#my work failed to process my check which I should have received yesterday. I’m now expected to get it next week#and part of growing up poor is like. idk. this learned helplessness or defeatist attitude with money problems#like ohh it’s my bad I should’ve had more savings to cover waiting an extra week or longer for my monthly check#and historically I just shut down and panic while doing nothing bc this is my biggest possible stressor to come across#but!!! being around rich people? I’ve learned they negotiate!! and demand to not be inconvenienced!!#my work was like ehh I’m sorry too bad so sad about your check and I was like actually no#I explained how this impacts my ability to pay rent. my credit score. how they didn’t inform me in time to stop bill autopay#and asked what their detailed plan is to fix this#and within an hour admin was scrambling. four different people emailed me apologizing for the mix up#and they worked it out with finance to get me a $2000 loan to get me by until the check hits#but I was like actually no. I won’t be paying interest on this because I shouldn’t be penalized for your error#and so they GOT RID OF INTEREST#0% interest cash advance essentially that covers all my bills#I picked up the physical check for the 2k today so it’s legit thank god#I thanked everyone involved and remained extremely polite#and they said if there’s any other questions you have please let us know#so I was like actually you know what lmao#I explained that I’ve incurred fees for overdrafts and returned items due to bill autopay that I couldn’t cancel due to them informing me#basically the day of my check being late#and so I specifically said I’ve incurred $270 in fees at this point as a result of your error and I shouldn’t be expected to pay this.#and!! they just said… okay!!! I just got an email that they’ve processed a secondary check for $270!!#so like?!?! what?!?! is this what life is like when you don’t shy away from discussing money?!#im genuinely shocked. this is a life lesson. I never would have imagined this outcome#thank god I decided to not take it lying down
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viktheviking1 · 11 days
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Only 2,500 left to go
Sign your name to let Kamala Harris know that being better than Trump does not mean we support genocide. We may vote, but we will not vote blind to the atrocities she approves of. Let her know we will not stay silent while children burn.
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fresh-bag-of-ham · 1 year
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wishing tourists who come to picnic in the off-leash dog park and don't say anything about their own very reactive dog until they bitch you out for walking with your own (leashed!) dog in front of their precious picnic a very die
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Hurtful words lacerate the heart. Although it may heal over time, scars will never completely disappear.
—Anoir Ou-chad, The Alien
One should always be mindful of their words; you never know how a passing comment could potentially ruin someone's entire day.
:).
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on a serious note going through active shooter training with people older than me on the order of decades makes me think that much more people would probably agree on tighter gun controls than younger generations realize. they just either can’t bring themselves to discuss it openly or feel like such discussion wouldn’t be welcome
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weedle-testaburger · 2 years
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the feminine urge to burn the torygraph offices down every time you see one of their headlines about trans people
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Friend is still trying to get me to come on the Shabbaton that I already said I wasn’t going to come on 😩
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boreal-sea · 3 months
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Look.
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I have made you a chart. A very simple chart.
People say "You have to draw the line somewhere, and Biden has crossed it-" and my response is "Trump has crossed way more lines than Biden".
These categories are based off of actual policy enacted by both of these men while they were in office.
If the ONLY LINE YOU CARE ABOUT is line 12, you have an incredible amount of privilege, AND YOU DO NOT CARE ABOUT PALESTINIANS. You obviously have nothing to fear from a Trump presidency, and you do not give a fuck if a ceasefire actually occurs. You are obviously fine if your queer, disabled, and marginalized loved ones are hurt. You clearly don't care about the status of American democracy, which Trump has openly stated he plans to destroy on day 1 he is in office.
EDIT:
Ok fine, I spent 3 hours compiling sources for all of these, you can find that below the cut.
I'll give at least one link per subject area. There are of course many more sources to be read on these subject areas and no post could possibly give someone a full education on these subjects.
Biden and trans rights: https://www.hrc.org/resources/president-bidens-pro-lgbtq-timeline
Trump and trans rights: https://www.aclu.org/news/lgbtq-rights/trump-on-lgbtq-rights-rolling-back-protections-and-criminalizing-gender-nonconformity
The two sources above show how Biden has done a lot of work to promote trans rights, and how Trump did a lot of work to hurt trans rights.
Biden on abortion access: https://www.cnn.com/2022/07/08/politics/what-is-in-biden-abortion-executive-order/index.html
Trump on abortion access: https://apnews.com/article/abortion-trump-republican-presidential-election-2024-585faf025a1416d13d2fbc23da8d8637
Biden openly supports access to abortion and has taken steps to protect those rights at a federal level even after Roe v Wade was overturned. Trump, on the other hand, was the man who appointed the judges who helped overturn Roe v Wade and he openly brags about how proud he is of that decision. He also states that he believes individual states should have the final say in whether or not abortion is legal, and that he trusts them to "do the right thing", meaning he supports stronger abortion bans.
Biden on environmental reform: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2021/10/07/fact-sheet-president-biden-restores-protections-for-three-national-monuments-and-renews-american-leadership-to-steward-lands-waters-and-cultural-resources/
Trump on environmental reform: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/climate/trump-environment-rollbacks-list.html
Biden has made major steps forward for environmental reform. He has restored protections that Trump rolled back. He has enacted many executive orders and more to promote environmental protections, including rejoining the Paris Accords, which Trump withdrew the USA from. Trump is also well known for spreading conspiracy theories and lies about global climate change, calling it a "Chinese hoax".
Biden on healthcare and prescription reform: https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/06/09/biden-administration-announces-savings-43-prescription-drugs-part-cost-saving-measures-president-bidens-inflation-reduction-act.html
Trump on healthcare reform: https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/07/politics/obamacare-health-insurance-ending-trump/index.html
I'm rolling healthcare and prescriptions and vaccines and public health all into one category here since they are related. Biden has lowered drug costs, expanded access to medicaid, and ACA enrollment has risen during his presidency. He has also made it so medical debt no longer applies to a person's credit score. He signed many executive orders during his first few weeks in office in order to get a handle on Trump's grievous mishandling of the COVID pandemic. Trump also wants to end the ACA. Trump is well known for refusing to wear a mask during the pandemic, encouraging the use of hydroxylchloroquine to "treat" COVID, and being openly anti-vaxx.
Biden on student loan forgiveness: https://www.ed.gov/news/press-releases/biden-harris-administration-announces-additional-77-billion-approved-student-debt-relief-160000-borrowers
Trump on student loan forgiveness: https://www.forbes.com/sites/adamminsky/2024/06/20/trump-knocks-bidens-vile-student-loan-forgiveness-plans-suggests-reversal/
Trump wants to reverse the student loan forgiveness plans Biden has enacted. Biden has already forgiven billions of dollars in loans and continues to work towards forgiving more.
Infrastructure funding:
I'm putting these links next together because they are all about infrastructure.
In general, Trump's "achievements" for infrastructure were to destroy environmental protections to speed up projects. Many of his plans were ineffective due to the fact that he did not clearly outline where the money was going to come from, and he was unwilling to raise taxes to pay for the projects. He was unable (and unwilling) to pass a bipartisan infrastructure bill during his 4 years in office. He did sign a few disaster relief bills. He did not enthusiastically promote renewable energy infrastructure. He created "Infrastructure Weeks" that the federal government then failed to fund. Trump did not do nothing for infrastructure, but his no-tax stance and his dislike for renewable energy means the contributions he made to American infrastructure were not as much as he claimed they were, nor as much as they could have been. Basically, he made a lot of promises, and delivered on very few of them. He is not "against" infrastructure, but he's certainly against funding it.
Biden was able to pass that bipartisan bill after taking office. The Bipartisan Infrastructure Plan that Trump tried to prevent from passing during Biden's term contains concrete funding sources and step by step plans to rebuild America's infrastructure. If you want to read the plan, you can find it here: https://www.whitehouse.gov/build/guidebook/. Biden has done far more for American infrastructure than Trump did, most notably by actually getting the bipartisan bill through congress.
Biden on Racial Equity: https://www.npr.org/sections/president-biden-takes-office/2021/01/26/960725707/biden-aims-to-advance-racial-equity-with-executive-actions
Trump on Racial Equity: https://www.axios.com/2024/04/01/trump-reverse-racism-civil-rights https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-us-canada-37230916
Trump's racist policies are loud and clear for everyone to hear. We all heard him call Mexicans "Drug dealers, criminals, rapists". We all watched as he enacted travel bans on people from majority-Muslim nations. Biden, on the other hand, has done quite a lot during his term to attempt to reconcile racism in this country, including reversing Trump's "Muslim ban" the first day he was in office.
Biden on DEI: https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/presidential-actions/2021/06/25/executive-order-on-diversity-equity-inclusion-and-accessibility-in-the-federal-workforce/
Trump on DEI: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-tried-to-crush-the-dei-revolution-heres-how-he-might-finish-the-job/ar-BB1jg3gz
Biden supports DEI and has signed executive orders and passed laws that support DEI on the federal level. Trump absolutely hates DEI and wants to eradicate it.
Biden on criminal justice reform: https://time.com/6155084/biden-criminal-justice-reform/
Trump on criminal justice reform: https://www.vox.com/2020-presidential-election/21418911/donald-trump-crime-criminal-justice-policy-record https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2024/05/trumps-extreme-plans-crime/678502/
From pardons for non-violent marijuana convictions to reducing the federal government's reliance on private prisons, Biden has done a lot in four years to reform our criminal justice system on the federal level. Meanwhile, Trump has described himself as "tough on crime". He advocates for more policing, including "stop and frisk" activities. Ironically it's actually quite difficult to find sources about what Trump thinks about crime, because almost all of the search results are about his own crimes.
Biden on military support for Israel: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/biden-obama-divide-closely-support-israel-rcna127107
Trump on military support for Israel: https://www.vox.com/politics/353037/trump-gaza-israel-protests-biden-election-2024
Biden supports Israel financially and militarily and promotes holding Israel close. So did Trump. Trump was also very pro-Israel during his time in office and even moved the embassy to Jerusalem and declared Jerusalem the capitol of Israel, a move that inflamed attitudes in the region.
Biden on a ceasefire: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/world/2024/06/05/gaza-israel-hamas-cease-fire-plan-biden/73967659007/
Trump on a ceasefire: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/trump-israel-gaza-finish-problem-rcna141905
Trump has tried to be quiet on the issue but recently said he wants Israel to "finish the problem". He of course claims he could have prevented the whole problem. Trump also openly stated after Oct 7th that he would bar immigrants who support Hamas from the country and send in officers to American protests to arrest anyone supporting Hamas.
Biden meanwhile has been quietly urging Netanyahu to accept a ceasefire deal for months, including the most recent announcement earlier in June, though it seems as though that deal has finally fallen through as well.
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evelovesfighting · 22 days
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Genuinely frustrating the amount of accounts I've had to unfollow because they've begun endlessly reblogging about the equal evil of both parties in the upcoming USA election and how the only way to fix the system is to completely change it
That's wonderful, sweetie, but please join the rest of us in reality. You do not have the courage to start the "Glorious Revolution" that everyone uses as an example to fix the system. Neither do I, because we would all most certainly lose loved ones if that happened, and probably near everything else. Possibly your own life. It would be disastrous.
And if you are really willing to give up so much to "fix" the country instead of trying with the most optimistic candidate we've seen in years first, just to see if we can fix this without unnecessary chaos, I think you just want blood. Let's be real: We're absolutely never voting in a third party and the only alternative everyone else seems willing to 'accept' would come at a terrible, unacceptable cost.
Get the FUCK over yourself and hold hope for one, two more goddamn election cycles, you lazy, hopeless fuckwits. I'm not resigning myself to whatever will happen under Project 2025 for your worthless moral high ground.
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marganuniverse · 4 months
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"All art is political"
Yeah but maybe consider that it's not your politics being represented
Just because media has been translated to your language does not necessarily mean that the media was created to be a commentary on your specific culture and country
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ur-mag · 10 months
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Defrosting the windshield in freezing temperatures starts with a simple part inside your car that costs nothing to run | In Trend Today
Defrosting the windshield in freezing temperatures starts with a simple part inside your car that costs nothing to run Read Full Text or Full Article on MAG NEWS
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barbarastreisandof · 11 months
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Blocking out her name and picture to protect her from harassment, but this is a Palestinian journalist reporting out of Gaza who I've personally had contact with through Twitter.
Money and aid is not getting through. Crowdfunding is not helpful. Ordering things is not helpful. Buying keffiyehs that say the money goes to Gaza is not helpful.
Gaza is a concentration camp - nothing is getting in or out that Israel does not approve of and right now Israel wants people dead or dying.
Most of social media, and tumblr is no exception, skews toward "taking action" being things that put you at zero risk and only ask for money or bits of time, or sometimes just doing nothing and calling it a boycott. "Call your rep!" "Buy this thing!" "Share this link!"
The reality is that you get out what you put in and if it was easy and low risk and comfortable for you to do it, then that is the level of impact it is having - low, comfortable to ignore, and flimsy.
Palestine, Gaza and increasingly the West Bank, NEEDS real help and the reality is we do not have the power as individuals to give it.
We DO have the power to band together and influence things collectively and the best way to do that is to loudly unequivocally express our anger and clarity of purpose.
So that does mean calling reps and being polite and firm and brief and giving your real address because otherwise they can't confirm you're a constituent and they'll ignore you. "Hello, my name is ______ and I am calling as a constituent to demand representative/senator _______ support aid to Gaza and to call for an end to support for all support to Israel."
It is important that your support for Gaza include opposition to Israel - there is no supporting Gaza while supporting Israel, it genuinely is one or the other.
Tear down pro-Israel posters. Tear down those fake kidnapped propaganda posters. Show up to rallies and marches where you can and if you can't, find out who's organizing them and get in touch to offer your support and help. Talk to family and friends. LEARN! Read up on these things and teach yourself history so you can better advocate and push back on propaganda.
Be willing to have people not like you. Losing friends over this is, and I don't mean to be cold here, nothing. It doesn't matter. Fuck em. If advocating against genocide costs you friendships and gets people calling you antisemitic, fuck em, good riddance. Privately process the loss of those relationships if they really matter to you, but publicly don't give it air because this is not a time to be focused on the feelings of people who cannot bring themselves to oppose ethnic cleansing.
The culture is shifting, support for Palestine is growing and it NEEDS to continue and we have the power to make sure it does.
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schoolhater · 2 months
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In yet another escalation of the genocide and a clear message to the world that it will never accept a Palestinian state, Israel has assassinated Hamas political leader Ismail Haniyeh in Tehran.
Every pretense Israel had toward the idea of a two state solution, or an end to the war has died with him. His martyrdom in Tehran comes as a horrific sign that Israel will stop at nothing to eliminate all semblance of a Palestinian future.
Please donate to Palestinian fundraisers. The safety of Palestinians in Gaza is of the utmost importance right now:
Shaima and Muhammad @wafans-blog
[LINK]
Shaima and Muhammad are the sister and brother of Wafaa al-Nahll (@wafans-blog) who reached her goal recently. Their family includes 10 kids but the genocidal Hala travel agency is charging most of them adult rates to leave because they are over the age of 15. Muhammad has a newborn baby who is at risk of infectious disease because he couldn't get vaccinated. The family is currently sheltering in al-Mawasi which has seen gruesome massacres recently. They just started fundraising over a week ago but have been seeing extremely slow process, and as they are a big family they need a lot of funds AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
@journalsforpalestine is running a raffle for Shaima and Muhammad.
[Line 260 on Nairuz and Hussein's Vetted Fundraiser List]
Bilal @bilal-salah0
[LINK]
Bilal is a 22 year old who went to Germany before the war began and has been trying to reunite with his family ever since. He is only around $3000 USD away from his goal and needs to meet it as soon as possible before he is DEPORTED by the genocidal German government and declared stateless on August 15th.
[Line 136 on Nairuz and Hussein's Vetted Fundraiser List]
Hazem Khalil @hazem1999sblog
[LINK]
Hazem Khalil's family has been stuck in Jabalia refugee camp for the past 9 months, facing unlivable conditions and a skyrocketing cost of living. He has been fundraising for ten days so far but has yet to break €1000 or 100 donations. His ultimate goal is €50,000 so he needs attention now!
[He is @bilal-salah0's friend.]
Siraj @siraj2024
[LINK]
Siraj is a journalist and father of three. He posts daily updates about what is happening in southern Gaza and has been fundraising for over a month. He and his family have narrowly escaped TWO massacres in southern Gaza recently. They now in unsafe conditions in a tent described as "a convection oven". They NEED to rebuild their home as soon as possible in order to have a safe place to live amidst Israeli bombardment.
His short term goal for THIS WEEK is $20,000 CAD.
sheplaysbassdotmp3 is running an art commission raffle for siraj!
[Line 219 on Nairuz and Hussein's Vetted Fundraiser List]
Shahed @shahednhall:
[LINK]
Shahed is a 21 year old college student and photographer. She is the sole provider for her family, including her father (a heart patient) and five younger siblings (including youngest who is an infant). Her sisters have severe hepatitis and urgently need medical care that is no longer available in Gaza and need to evacuate as soon as they get the chance. She is now fundraising for her own evacuation after reaching a short term goal for her younger sisters.
Her short term goal FOR THIS WEEK is $50k and she just crossed $40k.
@journalsforpalestineis running a raffle for Shahed.
[Line #224 on Nairuz and Hussein's Spreadsheet.]
Along with everyone on this list please consider donating to all the other Palestinians I've reblogged. I can't possibly fit everyone into one post but they are all important!!
tagging for reach below:
@timetravelingkitty @meaganfoster @briarhips @mazzikah @mahoushojoe
@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako
@feluka @terroristiraqi @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria
@deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @junglejim4322 @kibumkim @neechees
@mangocheesecakes @kyra45 @marnota @7bitter @tortiefrancis
@toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @criptochecca
@aristotels @komsomolka @neptunerings @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @heritageposts
@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @communistchilchuck @dykesbat
@watermotif @stuckinapril @violentrevolution @mavigator @lacecap
@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates @vakarians-babe
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drdemonprince · 19 days
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I actually do not believe humans have a guiding moral system. That does not predict or explain human behavior very well at all. Most people's behavior is far more easily explained by their emotions, their needs, and what everyone around them considers it to be normal to do. Most people will instinctively stay alive, stay comfortable, and avoid social ostracism, and their actions flow clearly from that. the patterns of behavior are predictable, but not morally consistent or principled.
And in the absence of adhering to true "morals," most humans don't go around killing/maiming/assaulting people anyway. Because there is little reason to. it's rarely fun or enjoyable, and dealing with the fallout of it would be a real pain.
I always wonder why moral theorists assume we need some belief system to keep us from killing one another. What do you get out of killing someone? It is exhausting and messy. Animals do not have a moral system and they don't go around killing other animals for no good reason. Even predator animals are highly selective in what they try to kill, because killing consumes a huge amount of energy and attempting to kill is dangerous. no living being goes around recklessly doing violence because it's bad for it, the animal.
We do not have to worry about humans being wantonly "evil". Most behaviors that we label as evil are a huge pain in the ass to do, with zero clear gain. when humans do treat one another violently there is virtually always some intense overpowering need they are trying to meet, some survival stakes that make it the better option in that moment than doing nothing.
The acts of violence and abuse that happen in the world on a more global scale occur not because of someone lacking morals, but because people in power have a vested economic or political reason to do it, and face relatively low risk. It is easy for the leaders of imperial powers to genocide people, it does not place them in physical danger, and they stand to gain a lot from it. thats why it happens. thats what we gotta worry about. that some people have clear incentives to kill/maim/rape on a global scale, and doing so costs them nearly nothing. not that people are "evil"
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nyrasvoid · 1 month
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The Cost of Duty
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Gwayne Hightower x Fem!Reader
Summary: Gwayne Hightower, is summoned in Kingslanding during his wife’s first pregnancy. After giving birth to their son without him, she struggles to forgive Gwayne upon his return.
Warnings: lots of angst because our girl is alone but a good ending i guess ?
A/N: no use of Y/N and also included Daeron in the fanfic, he’s 7 yrs old and raised by Gwayne and his wife
- Word count: ≈2.9k
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Your hand rests on your growing belly, feeling the subtle movements of your child. The babe is still small, just five moons along, but every tiny kick, is a reminder of the life growing inside you, a life you created with Gwayne. Yet, as the days pass, it feels like you are experiencing this miracle alone.
The door creaks open, and Gwayne steps inside, his expression tired as he pulls off his gloves. His face is lined with the exhaustion of someone who has been carrying the weight of Oldtown on his shoulders.
You watch him as he moves around the room, setting his things aside without a word. A part of you wants to let it go, to simply accept that he is busy, that he is doing his duty. But another part aches for his attention, for the warmth and closeness you once shared.
"Gwayne," you say, your voice soft.
He looks up, his eyes briefly meeting yours before he looks away again. "Yes, my love?"
You hesitate, trying to find the right words. "You've been so distant lately," you begin, trying to keep a calm tone. "I understand that your duties are important, but... I miss you. I miss us."
He sighs, rubbing his temple as he moves closer to you. "I know, my love. I know it has been difficult. But there is so much that needs my attention. With Father in King’s Landing, everything falls to me."
"But what about me?" you ask, your voice rising slightly. "What about our child? I need you, Gwayne. We need you."
He looks at you, with guilt in his eyes. "I am here now, am I not? I’m doing the best I can. But Oldtown... it doesn’t run itself."
You stand, unable to keep your frustration to yourself. "And what about me? Do I run myself too? I sit here every single day, waiting for you, hoping for just a moment of your time. But when you finally come, it’s like you’re not really here.”
You pause.
“You do not even look at me unless I speak to you first."
Gwayne steps back, as if putting distance between you would solve your problems. "I do not have the privilege of simply putting things aside, my dear. You knew this when we married."
"I didn’t know it would mean being ignored!" you snap, your hands trembling as you grip the skirts of your dress tightly.
He takes a deep breath. "I’m doing this for us, for our future. The child’s future. Can you not see that?"
Tears threaten to fall out your eyes, but you refuse to cry. "I just want my husband back," you whisper.
Gwayne’s face softens, and he reaches out to touch your arm, but you pull away before he can touch you. “My love-"
"Don’t," you say, "Just... don’t."
He watches you for a moment, but he says nothing more, only turning and leaving the room, the sound of the door closing behind him, leaving you alone again.
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Days pass, and the tension between you two only grows. Gwayne is present, but his mind is always on his duties. You feel as if you’re growing further and further away from him.
One evening, after a long day, Gwayne finally sits down beside you as you take your evening meal. You’ve been silent for most of the day, and now the sight of him so close yet so distant is almost unbearable.
He clears his throat, breaking the silence. "I have received a raven from King’s Landing today," he begins.
"And?" You replied unphased, not even looking at him.
"Father has summoned me," he says, "He needs my presence to sort out some political matters."
You place your spoon down. "King’s Landing?" you repeat, disbelief in your words. "That’s so far... and I’m already five moons along, Gwayne."
"I know," he says, his voice low. "But I will be returning as soon as I can. I won’t let anything keep me from being here for the birth."
You shake your head, unable to believe what you’re hearing. "You don’t know that. What if something happens? What if you don’t make it back in time?"
"I will," he insists, reaching for your hand, but you pull it back.
"You’re not listening to me!" you raise your voice at him, your frustration taking over. "You’re choosing to leave. You’re choosing your father over me. Over us."
He frowns. "It’s not a choice, my dearest. It is a duty. My father needs me."
"And I need you," you sob, your voice breaking. "I can’t do this alone, Gwayne. I shouldn’t have to. You are my husband before anything else."
He reaches out again, but this time you stand, moving away from him. "Please," he begins, but you shake your head.
"Don’t ask me to understand," you say, "Because I don’t."
After a long moment of silence, you hear him rise from his seat. "I’m leaving in three days time," he says quietly, his voice filled with regret. "Please, try to rest.”
You say nothing, you hear the door close behind him, and you break down crying, once again, you are left alone.
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The night before he’s supposed to leave, Gwayne comes to your shared chambers, his expression softer than it’s been in weeks. He moves to sit beside you on the bed, his hand resting on your knee.
"I know you’re angry with me," he begins, his voice gentle. "But I don’t want to leave on bad terms. I love you. You must know that."
You turn to face him, your emotions a mix of anger, sadness, and love. "If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving."
He looks surprised, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your neck, his hand sliding up your nightgown. "Let me show you," he murmurs as he presses tender kisses down your collarbone.
But the anger and hurt are still too fresh. You place a hand on his chest, pushing him back firmly. "Not tonight, Gwayne."
He pulls back, surprise and hurt showing in his eyes. "My love..."
"I can’t," you say, "I’m still angry. I need...time."
He nods understandingly. "I am sorry," he whispers, pulling you into his arms despite your anger. "I am truly, so sorry."
You let him hold you, sobbing into his arms without saying a word.
Gwayne leaves at dawn, you watch from the window, your hand resting over your belly as he rides away. He turns once, looking back, but you don’t move. You don’t wave.
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As the days turn into weeks, the loneliness only grows. Gwayne’s absence is a constant reminder of the growing distance between you. You try to busy yourself with tasks; embroidering blankets for the babe, reading, even taking long walks through the gardens. But nothing can fill the void he has left behind.
You spend time with Daeron, Gwayne’s youngest nephew, who has been staying in Oldtown under your and your husband’s care since he was born, and he had now seven years of age.
One afternoon, as the two of you sit beneath the shade of a large tree, Daeron looks up at you sadly.
You reach out, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “What’s on your mind, sweetling?”
Daeron glances up at you, his blue eyes filled with a sadness. “Auntie… will you and Uncle Gwayne forget about me when the babe is born?”
The question catches you off guard. You shift closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a gentle embrace. “Forget about you? Never, Daeron. Why would you think such a thing?”
He shrugs, trying to appear indifferent, but his voice trembles as he speaks. “Because the babe is your child. He’ll be important, and I’m just… I’m just your nephew.”
You tighten your hold on him, your heart breaking at the thought that he feels so insecure. “Daeron, listen to me,” you say softly. “You are not just our nephew. You’re as much a part of this family as the babe will be. Gwayne and I love you dearly, and nothing will ever change that.”
His eyes fill with tears. “But… he’ll be your real son. Won’t you love him more?”
You shake your head. “Of course not, sweetling. I will love both of you equally, just as if you were both my sons. I promise you that. You and the babe will grow up together, and I will raise you both as brothers. Nothing will change how much I care for you.”
Daeron’s lip trembles, and he finally allows himself to lean into your hug, resting his head against your shoulder. “You mean it? You won’t forget about me?”
You press a kiss to the top of his head. “I mean it, Daeron. You are very dear to me. The babe will be your little brother, and he will look up to you, just like you look up to Gwayne. I’m sure you’ll be the best big brother anyone could ask for.”
He sniffles but nods. “I will teach him all the things I know. How to ride a horse, and how to climb trees…”
“And how to be kind and brave, just like you,” you add with a smile.
Daeron smiles a little. “I’ll do my best. I promise.”
You hug him tighter. “I know you will, Daeron. And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”
He pulls back slightly, looking up at you with determination. “I’ll be the best big brother ever.”
You smile, ruffling his hair affectionately. “I’m sure you will be, my love. And the babe will be so lucky to have you as his brother.”
The boy’s expression softens as he looks at your belly. “Do you think he’ll be just like uncle Gwayne? Brave and strong?”
You hesitate for a moment, the thought of Gwayne filling your mind with sadness. “Perhaps,” you say gently.
Daeron nods, then his face brightens again as he looks up at you. “Can I help you pick out a name for him?”
Your smile widens at the offer. “Of course. Do you have any ideas?”
He thinks for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. “What about Maelor? It’s a strong name, isn’t it?”
You tilt your head, considering the name. “Maelor…” you say slowly. “Yes, it is a strong name.”
Daeron smiles, clearly proud of himself. “I can’t wait to meet him, auntie. We’re going to have so much fun together.”
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As the months drag on, you begin to feel your belly grow heavier each day. Letters from Gwayne arrive frequently, filled with words of love and concern, but you don’t care to answer them.
You feel alone, as the weeks turn into months and the baby gets more active. Every kick is a reminder that the time is running out and you can only hope that Gwayne comes back in time.
But as your belly grows, so too does your anxiety.
One evening, you feel a sharp pain. You clutch at your belly. It’s too soon, you think. Gwayne isn’t here. He promised he would be here.
The pain intensifies, and you know without a doubt that the babe is coming. Your maids rush to your side, their faces filled with worry as they help you to your bed. The midwives and the maester are summoned.
You grip the sheets, your knuckles turning white. “It’s too soon,” you gasp, tears streaming down your face. “Gwayne isn’t here… he isn’t here…”
The midwife shushes you gently, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Breathe, my lady. Focus on the baby. He’s eager to meet you.”
The labor is long, painful, and each moment is filled with fear.
At one point, you feel that you can’t go on, the pain too much to bear. “I can’t,” you cry out, “I can’t do this…”
“You can, my lady,” the midwife insists. “You’re strong. Your baby needs you.”
The room is full of faces, of whispers and encouragements, of hands holding yours as you push with all your strength.
Hours pass, and just when you think you have nothing left to give, you hear it. A loud cry that fills the room. The midwives wrap the tiny babe in soft blankets before placing him in your arms.
Tears stream down your face as you look down at your son cry. He’s perfect, you think.
“Maelor,” you whisper, “my sweet Maelor.”
Days pass, and the babe grows stronger, his cries filling the empty chambers that once were filled with silence. Daeron is overjoyed to meet his new brother.
“Can I hold him?” Daeron asks one afternoon, his eyes wide with excitement.
You smile, carefully placing Maelor in his small arms. “Support his head,” you instruct gently, watching as Daeron cradles the baby with surprising care.
“He’s so small,” Daeron whispers. “Will he be strong like uncle Gwayne?”
You nod, your heart filled with pride. “He will. But he’ll also have your kindness, Daeron. He’ll need you to show him how to be a good man.”
Daeron’s face lights up, and he nods eagerly. “I will. I promise.”
You watch as Daeron gently rocks Maleor, your heart warming at the sight. For a moment, the loneliness fades, replaced by the joy of watching your sons together.
But as the days turn into weeks, Geayne sends letters, each one more desperate than the last, asking about Lucerys, about you, about your health. But you can’t bring yourself to respond, the anger still too fresh.
Maelor grows, his tiny fists curling around your fingers, tugging at your hair, his eyes beginning to focus on your face. He’s beautiful, perfect in every single way, and yet every time you look at him, you’re reminded of Gwayne’s absence.
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Two months pass before Gwayne finally returns. Word reaches you that he is only an hour away, but you remain in the nursery, rocking your son in your arms as you sit by the window.
Despite knowing Gwayne is coming home, you make no move to greet him at the gates.
Footsteps approach, and a moment later the door to the nursery swings open. Gwayne stands there, his eyes searching for you immediately. He takes a step inside, his gaze falling on you and the child in your arms. “My love…”
You do not look up, focusing instead on Maelor. Gwayne approaches you, dropping to his knees beside you. “Please, look at me. I am so sorry…”
You remain silent, unwilling to let your emotions show. Gwayne reaches out, placing his hand on top of yours. “I know I’ve hurt you. I never meant to be away for so long. I didn’t think it would be so… difficult.”
You glance up then, your eyes meeting his.
“I needed you,” you say quietly. “I went through the hardest moments of my life without you, Gwayne. And now… now you come back and expect everything to be as it was?”
“I do not expect that,” he says, “I know I’ve done wrong. And I can’t change what’s happened… but please, give me a chance to make it right. I want to be here for you, for our son.”
You look down at your son, your heart aching. “Maelor is already two months old,” you say, your voice barely a whisper. “You’ve missed so much, Gwayne. His first smile, the way he grabs my finger when he’s hungry… you weren’t here.”
Gwayne’s breath hitches, and he finally touches Maelor’s tiny hand, his fingers trembling as they brush against the babe’s soft skin. “I know,” he whispers. “I am truly so sorry, my love. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. Please… let me be here now. Let me be the father he deserves, the husband you deserve.”
“We’ll see,” you say quietly. “For now, all that matters is that Maelor is healthy and safe.” You pause and take a deep breath, “But… I want us to be a family, Gwayne. For Maelor and Daeron.”
Gwayne nods. “Thank you,” he whispers, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your son’s forehead. “Thank you for giving me a healthy son, my dear. I promise, I’ll spend the rest of my life making this right.”
You watch as he cradles the babe in his arms, the sight filling you with joy.
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PS: I know I have to start writing for other characters, I just love this man so much 😔 So just a reminder that my requests are open 🥰🥰
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