#poly.damn.ory

[polydamnory]

I feel stupid.

The reason Fool!Guy tells Honey they smell good is because Prime!Honey is constantly telling Guy he smells like pizza 🤦‍♀️

Here I was thinking “huh, that’s a weirdly specific thing to mention… anyway” when it’s specifically referencing one of the earliest recurring events of his entire playlist!

[polydamnory]

The “your eyes are so pretty” part compelled me

redacted asmr headcanons pt.3

-darlin’ gives sam puppy dog eyes all the time both with or without their own acknowledgement (they bite their lip too and it drives sam fucking insane)

-wolves don’t particularly enjoy being touched around their lower back area, even the most controlled wolf will get uncomfortable and/or shift instinctively to protect themselves

-asher and baabe are literally johnny and mavis 

-vincent and lovely are always together. always. (where one is, the other is not far behind) 

-gavin telling freelancer they’re pretty every single day 

-freelancer telling gavin he has the kindest heart every single day (and that he’s pretty) 

-freelancer plays volleyball (they’re on a recreational team)

-darlin' and milo will forever have beef with asher and asher will always harass them. when milo says "ash, ew.." darlin' says "ash, what the fuck.."

-david ‘hardass’ shaw brought to his knees begging for forgiveness because angel called him david once 

-freelancer and huxley feed off each other’s energy and they’re both adorably loud when around each other 

-gavin and freelancer get violently upset if they’re not around each other for more than a day

-“your eyes are so pretty” was one of the first things coworker said to lasko and he stopped breathing for a solid minute

-under extreme stress, cutie loses control of their powers and it can either make them slide out of someone’s head or into everyone’s head (during the inversion they could hear everyone’s thoughts and they were trying to fight off a panic attack the whole time)

-milo and darlin' make fun of each other’s trauma (milo: “that’s why your dad doesn’t fucking love you” darlin': “your dad doesn’t love you either, bitch”)

[polydamnory]

Early!David: “My mate is so clingy, I swear it’s like they’re constantly hanging off of me. They also seem to constantly be chattering away about literally anything and everything.”

Also Early!David: Pulling Angel into him so they’re sitting as close as humanly possible while they play on their switch, asking them to tell him about their day, in large part so he can just hear their voice.

(This is of course an exaggeration but not quite as big of one as some of you might seem to think)

[polydamnory]

PSA: All Redacted men like to be shut up via kisses.

Lasko of course is the most obvious but we have also seen this happen with others, just off the top of my head I can also remember Avior, Vincent and of course Guy enjoying this. Which leads me to the only conclusion possible: all of them think this is hot.

[polydamnory]

Poly Shaw Pack Headcanons

⚠️SOME NSFW BELOW - LIKE ONLY 2 BUT STILL YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)⚠️

Sometimes when David says something kind of snappy or rude to Angel (tsunderes gonna tsundere), Darlin will just come up, pick Angel up, and walk away saying “nope. Mate privileges revoked” - doesn’t matter if Angel isn’t bothered by it, he was mean

Milo HAS borrowed that choke collar from Baaabe and used it on Asher 👀👀👀

Almost all of them have tried their hand at teaching Asher how to cook - none have succeeded

Asher and Angel both keep getting caught late night gaming by the others, and David. Is. Not. Happy about it.

Sweetheart doesn’t purposefully sneak up on/startle Darlin the way they do Milo - they know that due to Darlin’s past trauma, they’re a lot more likely to lean more towards the fight part of fight or flight instincts, as well as just not wanting to accidentally trigger them in general

The non-shifter mates will go on a group date just the four of them once a month - the shifters do too but most of the time they just end up playing video games together (Asher) or spending some time in their wolf forms

Milo and Angel are both huge dorks for Aggro and baby him excessively

When Darlin gets really touch starved (which is most of the time), the rest of the polycule just kind of pile on top of them

Baaabe and David learned how to cook some of the dishes Sam’s grandmother used to make for him to help him feel better on the anniversary of her death - Darlin tried to help but got kicked out of the kitchen

Asher and Sweetheart occasionally team up to fuck with Milo (also Christian lol)

Angel moves around in their sleep a lot so whoever’s closest to them in bed have to be the ones to essentially smother them to keep them from accidentally kicking or punching somebody in their sleep

Solar Solstices are TOUGH with them all staying together, but thankfully the four non-shifters can team up to tackle it - Baaabe’s on cooking duty, Angel’s the one keeping David and Darlin from getting up out of bed (they are NOT above sitting on you, Darlin, stop it!), and Sweetheart and Sam team up to do some sleeping or healing magic - it doesn’t help much, but it’s something. They typically end up watching movies or playing some easy video games that at least keep them laying/sitting down for a majority of the day. EDIT: the lovely @darlin-collins (sorry for the at) has pointed out to me that both stealth’s AND vampires are negatively affected by the sun bound solstice so I guess Angel and Baaabe are gonna have to fight for their fucking lives lol

The mates groupchat still exists and Asher begs to be let in it like once a week

Darlin kind of wants to be included in it too but refuses to admit it

Asher and Angel can both dress like total gremlins and it physically pains Milo to have to see it

Baaabe has dommed most of the others at some point

Sam took a bit to feel comfortable asking to feed on any of them other than Darlin, and even then he still typically goes to them first if he’s feeling hungry - he doesn’t really have a favorite, it's just that in that regard he feels the most comfortable with them specifically

Asher will shift and comfort any and all of them in his wolf form like he does for Baaabe - he has to do it a lot for Sweetheart, their job has them stressed

David often feels like he’s babysitting a bunch of toddlers because even when they were just friends, the stupid shit this group would get themselves caught up in is insane - the fact that none of them have been arrested yet is a miracle in itself. No, Sam is not an exception.

Darlin, Milo and Angel are all terrible with horror movies (this is canon) and David sometimes likes to choose one he knows will particularly get them when it’s his pick for movie night just to fuck with them

I feel like some of these could technically apply outside the context of the polycule, and you know what, yeah that too

[polydamnory]

I once merely got off on the wrong side of the street from the train and was so lost and confused I ended up crying to a stranger, begging for directions. Freshman year was an experience.

Got on the wrong train home, incredibly lost and confused. I'm so Freelancer coded

[polydamnory]

If you don’t include Dear in the polycule you’re weak I’m just saying I’m just saying

[polydamnory]

WAIT THIS IS CANON?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A GENERALLY ACCEPTED HEADCANON! OH THIS JUST MADE MY DAY!

[polydamnory]

It hurts Brachium to think that Sunshine is going to die again someday, but this time without a chance of coming back. Their mortality is sad of course, but what really gets to him is that when that day comes, he won’t be there to accompany them through the River. He’s thankful for his freedom, but the idea that the person he cares about so much will one day have to pass over and he won’t be there for them this time almost makes him wish he could go back.

[polydamnory]

Imp!Damien who would cling to Angel for warmth during the Lunar solstice

He’s cold now with them gone

[polydamnory]

David really said, “If I get sick being affectionate with my mate while they’re not feeling well that’s just the natural order of things but I’d rather fucking die before I risk getting them sick.”

[polydamnory]

I’m just saying I think most of the Redacted storylines would have been sorted out a lot faster if Lovely had a gun.

Would it have been cleaner? No, but certainly faster.

[polydamnory]

Every time my old roommate leaves the state, I somehow end up in the hospital. Last time they did I was in and out of surgeries for a month.

guys i’m bored tell me something that happened to you/something about yourself and let me give you a redacted character

[polydamnory]

DAMN Crew Draw the Squad! Really hope it's obvious who is who lol

I'm most likely gonna do more of these so if you have any recommendations please send them my way!

Original under the cut

I couldn't find credit for this one, every result that popped up when I reverse image searched it was a repost where basically everyone also said they couldn't find the original poster. If anyone knows please say so so I can properly credit them!

[polydamnory]

Fooliverse Xavier Idea

He’s actually alive

[polydamnory]

Morgan seems like the type of person to just grab his partner by the shoulders/sides of the head and rapid fire kiss them all over their face okay bye