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aardvark-123 · 3 years

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Where Did You Last See Your Moon?

Sent from the heavens, wielding rainbows and lightning in the name of peace and justice, Hoshiro Nijinazuma is Gensokyo’s greatest warrior. Her decision-making skills, however, leave a lot to be desired. Faced with a disappearing moon, our heroine goes straight to the other famous celestial body only to fall foul of a haughty sun goddess. The fight of Hoshiro’s life begins...

~The Legend of Hoshiro Part 4: Where Did You Last See Your Moon?~

"A little there, not too saggy..." Keine was fingering through tufts of pampas grass in a dark red vase, squinting to see the slender stalks in the moonlight. "I think that's good enough. Oh, Hoshiro, be careful with that statue!"

"Don't worry, I've got it!" Wearing a pink builder's helmet with red decor, Hoshiro set the statue down ever so gently. It slammed into the ground with a deafening boom. The playground trembled, throwing up gravel and half the frog pond, while Hoshiro glowed with pride.

"That was the opposite of careful!" Keine sighed. "Why did we let them lumber us with that thing?!"

"They're harvest goddesses! Children can look at it during the festival and learn, um... Er..." Hoshiro regarded the five-metre-tall effigy of the Aki Sisters and laughed loudly. "Her foot's the wrong way round! Look!"

With a heavy heart, Keine looked. Even in the dark there was no mistaking it; both of Minoriko's rough granite legs ended in left feet. "Well, that's just the icing on the cake, isn't it? Some guests of honour they're shaping up to be."

"What if she really looks like that?" proposed Hoshiro. "Two left feet. Could she still walk?"

"I don't know," Keine said with a shrug. "At least it's something interesting to tell your pen pal. Do you want to give me a hand with the tsukimi dango tomorrow?"

Hoshiro flashed a dauntless thumbs-up. "Count on it, sister!" she grinned, only to frown moments later. "Actually, my pen pal hasn't written for months. I hope she's all right up there."

"Up where?"

"The moon."

Keine's jaw dropped. She covered it hastily with a hand. "That's... interesting!" she said with a nervous laugh. "Perhaps she's busy, or they had her executed. It isn't as though something could be wrong with the moon!"

"Something could be wrong with the moon?!" Hoshiro's jaw dropped as well. "But how?! It's made of stone!"

"No, do- don't worry about it! Oh, no, I can tell what's about to happen."

Hoshiro craned her neck and peered up at the shining disc immersed in darkness. She pushed the sound of Keine fretting to the back of her mind and took in every detail. The moon still shone creamily white, the grey rabbit still thumped her mochi barrel, but...

The more she stared, the less familiar it felt. The rabbit's left ear was a sliver too short, the moon's southern curve just a fraction less gibbous than it should be. Hoshiro's heart went cold. "Keine... That isn't the moon!"

Keine took a deep breath. "You're right, that's a fake moon. I knew all along. Now DON'T worry, I know it sounds bad but we can trust the people who might be behind this! This won't be easy to take in-"

"Don't joke about it, Keine! They turned a whole moon off!" Dozens of possibilities ran through Hoshiro's brain, making her scowl in vexation. "Here's what we know. The moon's made of stone. It pulls the tides and gives us waterbending. It reflects sunlight, so if it's stopped shining, that means..." She gasped in horror. "Oh, no! The sun!"

=====================

"These noodles are delicious! How did you make them?"

Uke Mochi smiled sweetly. "I cut my hair. I hope it's not too stringy..."

"Oh, no, it isn't stringy at all! It's perfect." Amaterasu twiddled another bolus of noodles around her chopsticks and ate them happily. "Mmm... You're absolutely delicious!"

"You know I am." Uke Mochi leaned over the table and gave Amaterasu a kiss, getting curry on her nose for the trouble. "Just as well you know how to eat!"

Leaving Amaterasu to blush, Uke Mochi got to work on her own dinner. She was just chewing the last of her tonkatsu when the door flew open and smacked the wall.

"It's the sun! You have to listen to me!" A frantic, panting Hoshiro stumbled into the room. She took a few breaths, whipped off her hard hat and bowed to each goddess in turn. "Lady Amaterasu, the sun's disappeared!"

"Hm?!" Amatarasu stared at her, some noodles still hanging from her lips. "Mmxfcufe mymm momnft." The sun goddess swallowed noisily, wiped her mouth and spoke again. "Who are you, exactly? And how did you get in here?"

"Hoshiro Nijinazuma, ma'am! I came in through the door!" Hoshiro said formally and frantically, which was a tricky combination. "You have to do something about the sun! Light it again, or... or something!"

"Ah... Ryuujin's other other daughter." sighed Amaterasu, laying down her chopsticks. "Hoshiro, wasn't it? You might not have noticed, but the sun actually rises again in the morning. That's why people sleep at night."

"I know, but this is different! The moon stopped shining, which means it can't be reflecting the sun's light any more, which means the sun must've disappeared! Nothing else would make sense!" Hoshiro insisted.

Amaterasu groaned. "Listen. I am the sun goddess. If the sun had truly disappeared, I would feel it, but I don't! I'm fine! Whatever did happen to the moon, I'm not dealing with it. Goodbye, Hoshiro."

"You won't even check?!" Hoshiro's cheeks puffed out with anger. "I know this is a bad time, and I'm sorry, but you have a duty to the world! If the sun OR the moon were to disappear-"

"ENOUGH!" Amaterasu's chair burst into flames as she stood, wreathed in white-hot fire. "You burst into my palace, ruin my date and accuse me of derelicting my duty?! How dare you?!"

"Calm down, Amaterasu! I'm sure she doesn't mean any harm," Uke Mochi shrank back from the heat, sweat beading on all her exposed skin. "You don't, do you, Hoshiro?"

"No, I-"

"She was just leaving," said Amaterasu firmly. "I'm sure we won't be interrupted again, Uke-chan. This evening is meant for the two of us and no-one else."

"No, I'm not going until you take this seriously!" Hoshiro snapped with an angry stomp of her foot.

Amaterasu's eyes narrowed. "Then I have to get rid of you, haven't I?"

Hoshiro felt the floor lurch, then she was floating in a dark, miles-wide arena above an endless lake of fire. Sitting at the now floating table, Uke Mochi gave Amaterasu a rueful look.

"The child of a god should know we aren't to be messed with. Your have power over rainbows and nice weather, don't you? Those are nothing compared to nuclear fire!" Amaterasu laughed, spreading her hands wide. "Well, Hoshiro, do you still want to try my patience?"

Hoshiro slid her helmet back over her horns and struck a dynamic pose. "Forever Champion, Hoshiro Nijinazuma! I fight for honour, integrity and taking problems seriously! Refusing to care for your celestial body is unforgivable, and for the moon's sake, I'll knock some sense into you!" Her expression brightened. That had been a good speech.

"Then bring it on!" Amaterasu gathered orbs of yellow light between her fingers. "Heliospheric Sign: Plasma Waltz!"

A thousand yellow bullets filled the arena, rolling over each other in an intricate dance of triangles and hexagons. They pressed in on Hoshiro from all sides, her graze metre blurring as she twisted and squeezed between them. The heat was incredible; even slathered in factor 120 sun cream, her skin reddened.

Hoshiro wiped some steaming sweat off her forehead. "Wow..." A smile crossed her lips. "THAT was a spell-card! Lunatic mode rocks!"

Amaterasu recoiled in bestartlement. Uke Mochi breathed a sigh of relief.

"But we aren't just playing. Here's my spell-card!" declared Hoshiro, thrusting out her arm. "Fire Mastery: Red Tuesday!"

Reams of red bullets burst into life behind Hoshiro and came howling fowards. Amaterasu floated still and smiled as the bullets shattered against her.

"Have you forgotten?" Amaterasu said sweetly. "I'm the sun. Enraged Plasma: Solar Eruption!"

Amaterasu's eyes flashed. Streams of orange fire poured out of her mouth. Curving in all directions, looping out and back behind her, they filled the battlefield with light. Hoshiro twisted and wove between the strands of fire, but there was too much moving too fast. Burning pain struck her heart as the burning plasma struck her heart.

"Ow!" yelped Hoshiro. Amaterasu's fire dissipated, but the damage was done; the rainbow on her jumper would never be the same.

Uke Mochi stood up. "Ama-chan, I think she's got the message."

"I have, Lady Uke Mochi! I can't burn the sun," said Hoshiro, her eyes full of determination. "I'll put her out instead! Descended Power: Fleet Erasing Typhoon!"

Dark clouds gathered above Hoshiro, flashing turquoise as lightning arced between them. A wall of raindrop bullets poured out of the billowing grey and surged towards Amaterasu.

Amaterasu rolled her eyes. Every bullet that came close to her turned to steam, the rest whizzing harmlessly past.

"Nice try," smiled Amaterasu. "Sadly, Hoshiro, you're completely out of your league. I am a Noble Child, the greatest of Izanagi's children, and Ryuujin himself couldn't douse my flame! Borrowing his power will get you nowhere."

"I have all the power I need, Amaterasu!" Arcs of electricity crackled out of Hoshiro's heart and flowed down her arms. She thrust out a hand full of multicoloured lightning. "Nijinazuma: Seven-Coloured Strike!"

The bolt shot out, burning across the void to strike Amaterasu. She held out her hand to catch it.

"Aaaargh-!" Amaterasu grit her teeth as the lightning sizzled through her. "Fine, the kid gloves are coming off! Parhelion: Triple Okami!"

Two cream-coloured copies of Amaterasu winked into existence, flanking their true self on either side. As one they threw curving white rays that spiralled through the void, hemming Hoshiro in on all sides.

There were too many to count. A beam struck Hoshiro in the stomach, then another knocked her legs out from underneath her. She cried out as she spun helplessly.

Amaterasu laughed triumphantly. "I'm not ready to put my gloves back on yet, you stupid girl!" She raised a hand full of fire. "Taiyo Ray: Spear of Daybreak!"

Uke Mochi gasped. "She's defenceless! You can't!"

"Thank you, but don't count me out yet!" Hoshiro hit the brakes, her psychic force screeching against the vacuum, and stared Amaterasu down. A shimmering ball of energy grew between her hands. "By the light inside my heart, for love, truth and justice until the end of time! Hypermagination: Ryujo Beam!"

Two blindingly bright beams, white nuclear fire and vivid pink spirit energy, collided in midair. Sparks flew out in all directions. Hoshiro grit her teeth and poured as much power into the beam as she could muster, slowly but surely pushing Amaterasu back.

Then the Taiyo Ray doubled in intensity, roaring like a gale as it burned through the Ryujo Beam. Fire washed over Hoshiro, throwing her backwards through the void. She screamed, tumbling head over heels down and down until...

Her back thumped against something solid. She was in the dining room, her clothes smouldering, a sun goddess crowing over her.

"Is that enough for you?" Amaterasu smirked, waving away wisps of smoke. "You should be proud of yourself, Hoshiro! I hardly ever have to use both hands to win a beam duel. Now, do I hear an apology?"

"What does SHE have to apologise for?! You're humiliating her!" Uke Mochi snapped.

"She won't learn any other way," Amaterasu insisted. "Or will you, Hoshiro?"

Hoshiro glared up at Amaterasu through swimming eyes. "You still don't understand," she groaned. "The world needs a sun and a moon, b-because without them... We'd be bereft! That's why, even if it costs my life, I have to make you take this seriously! I won't ever give up!"

"Fine. Then you will burn forever in cosmic fire, every atom of your body torn to shreds by, by- Uke-chan, where are you going?!"

"I can't watch any more of this!" Uke Mochi was storming away. Amaterasu ran after her, looking more like a lost puppy than the vengeful goddess from moments ago.

"Hold on, Uke-chan, this isn't my fault! She just won't go away!" Amaterasu protested, grabbing her lover's sleeve. "I was trying to get rid of her, she just wouldn't-"

Uke Mochi met her with a furious look. "Get rid of her?! You were trying to kill her! All Hoshiro did was ask about the sun- it was under the arena, by the way, safe as houses- but apparently that's a good enough reason to go ballistic." She sighed. "Why do you do things like this?"

"I..." Amaterasu swallowed. "I wanted to prove that I... To show you I wouldn't let anything ruin our evening together. You mean everything to me, Uke Mochi!"

Uke Mochi stared at her for a few seconds, then scoffed. "You're as bad as your brother sometimes."

"What?!" Amaterasu's jaw dropped. "How can you say that?! He killed you once!"

"Not him! The other one!" snapped Uke Mochi. "What could beating this poor dragon into the ground possibly prove, other than that you have no self-control?"

"No, I-!" Amaterasu bit her lip. "That's not what I was doing! I wanted to teach her-"

"That she should never speak up when there's a problem? Or that you always act like a maniac to impress women?"

"No, I... Aaaaargh!" Amaterasu put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry, all right?!"

"It's her you need to apologise to."

Amaterasu bristled for a moment, but there seemed to be no way out of it. Swallowing her pride, she made for Hoshiro.

Hoshiro had been staring in amazement, awestruck by Uke Mochi's diplomacy, and also wishing she hadn't worn a jumper. She offered a wary smile as Amaterasu approached her.

"Um." Amaterasu cleared her throat. "Hello. Amaterasu-Oomikami here. I would like to offer you my deepest and sincerest apologies for trying to annihilate you. And for reacting badly when you interrupted our date with a trivial question a momentary glance at the sun could more easily have-"

"Don't try and turn this into one of those 'I did nothing wrong' apologies, Ama-chan," Uke Mochi warned her.

Amaterasu scowled, wondering for a brief moment whether having a girlfriend was worth the cost to her pride. She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry I was so standoffish. And impatient. And overwhelmingly violent. I hope you can forgive me, Hoshiro."

Hoshiro took a deep breath. "Lady Amaterasu, it's... It's all right. What you did to me was arrogant and overreactive, but that isn't who you are. You made a mistake, and everybody makes mistakes." She looked down at her feet and sighed. "You were right as well. I shouldn't have come as soon as I thought something was wrong and just burst in."

"Well, I'm glad you're seeing-"

"I should've collected my thoughts and rung the doorbell," Hoshiro admitted. "Anyway, now that we're friends, could you check on the moon?"

"...Very well." Amaterasu disappeared. She reappeared a few moments later, looking quite confused. "It's still there, but I did notice some unusual clouds over Gensokyo, and what looked like an enormous circle of white cardboard?"

"The plot thickens," said Uke Mochi.

"It really does." Hoshiro frowned worriedly. "I have to get back before it's too thick to stir. Please try and work on your temper, Lady Amaterasu. And if you must fight somebody over something that doesn't really matter, use safe spell-cards, not the burning kind, all right?"

"All right..." pouted Amaterasu. "You have my word. Now, I'm sure you have your plot to unthicken, so we won't keep you any longer. Why don't you head out now, as in right now, and Uke-chan and I will... Finish our meal."

"I'm glad I got to meet you, Lady Amaterasu. You too, Lady Uke Mochi." Hoshiro turned around and headed to the door. "Bye!"

"Come back soon!" said Uke Mochi brightly.

#Touhou #Shinto mythology #Amaterasu-Oomikami #Uke Mochi #Keine Kamishirasawa #Hoshiro Nijinazuma (OC)#writing #comedy #parody #my writing #Hoshiro Adventures

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draconesmundi · 4 years

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Hey, I've been an avid dragon enthusiast since I was a kid and your blog is a huge inspiration! Would you mind doing England for the Here Be Dragons prompt?

Certainly! I am glad to hear you are a dragon enthusiast, I am the same!

So, I have already done Southern England in this ask here so to do the rest of England we would need to do the counties not included there - so Northumberland (my home county!), Tyne and Wear, Durham, Cumbria (my partner’s home county), Yorkshire, Lancashire, Merseyside, Greater Manchester, Derbshire, Lincolnshire, Nottinghamshire, Cheshire, Staffordshire, Leiscteshire etc. etc. (I was going to list them all then I realised there were A LOT so apologies dear anon if I missed yours!).

So the main difference between your ask, England in general, and the previous ask, Southern England specifically, is that in most of England we do not have the green wyvern or vouivre. The dragons we have are the lindorm (Vivernapterous fafnirus) the smok (Drakon drakon) and the cockatrice (Basiliskos gallimimus).

The lindorm is a long brownish green serpentlike dragon with two small forelimbs. It lives in burrows and deep ponds and eats small game birds and animals. In English folklorish tradition the lindorm is capable of two great feats - the first is being able to grow to impossibly long lengths, and the second is to grow into two dragons if it is split in half.

The most famous lindorm myth from England is that of the Lambton Worm. Once the Earl of Lambton caught an immature lindorm (eel-like in appearance) and, deciding it was too gross to keep, threw it into a well. This dragon grew to a huge size, wrapping three times around Worm Hill near Lambton (often stories say Penshaw Hill, as this is the big famous hill with a cool building on it - Worm Hill is a smaller hill much closer to the river). The Earl asked a witch what to do, and she said he must wear spiked armour to do battle with the dragon, and once the dragon was slain he must kill the next living thing he saw, or else the Earls of Lambton would all meet unquiet deaths.

The Earl planned to have dogs released once he killed the dragon so that he may kill the dogs too, and he marched out to Worm Hill wearing the spiked armour. The dragon tried to wrap itself around the earl and was impaled on the spikes, eventually bleeding out. In celebration, the Earl’s father ran out to congratulate his son instead of releasing the dogs. Unable to kill his father, the Earl doomed the family to a curse for several generations.

Dogs were also involved in the slayings of the Serpent of Kellington, the Long Slingsby Serpent and the Serpent of Nunnington, all in Yorkshire.Yorkshire dragon slayings have a tried and tested formula - the hero must wear spiked armour (as the Earl of Lambton did) and must bring a dog to snap up parts of the dragon which are cut loose from the main body to prevent the dragon from multiplying (which is biologically impossible, but having a well trained dog aid in a dragon slaying seemed like a sensible move back in the day) and the dragon must be fought in a river, so that spare parts of the dragon are washed away downstream and cannot create more dragons to interfere in the battle. There is a chance one may die to the ‘venomous blood’ of the dragon, most likely the cytotoxic venoms spat by lindorms when they are threatened.

The final lindorm myth of note Not in the South of England (please check the other Ask for a wealth of knucker stories) is that of a little known hero called Scaw who killed the Handale Worm of Yorkshire (there are a LOT of Yorkshire dragon legends).

While lindorms are very important to English mythology, the most iconic dragon is probably the smok, a reddish animal with large wings. This is the dragon found on the Welsh flag and on family crests and sigils throughout the UK - this is the dragon made of chalk at Bures, and it’s likeness is also seen in a church at Wissington.

Being from Northumberland I am obviously going to recount a good Northumbrian tale, that of the Laidly Worm of Bamborough. Northumberland was once an entire country, stretching halfway down modern England and a third of the way up into modern Scotland, and the seat of this kingdom was Bamborough Castle. In mythology, the King of Northumberland married a witch, who made plans against him. She sent the prince Childe Wynd away to Norway and poisoned the king slowly to death. The only witness to this crime was a princess that the witch turned into a dragon, and, distraught, the dragon flew away to Spindlestone Hugh.

Childe Wynd, who had been sent away to perform impossible tasks of bravery, came back a lot sooner than the witch expected, as he was somehow able to complete these tasks. He heard of a dragon terrorising the kingdom and rode his horse straight to the scene, tying his steed up at the legendary Spindlestone. He approached the dragon, sword in hand, but then realised it was a kindred spirit. He kissed the dragon on the nose, and it magically turned back into his sister.

The two of them returned to Bamborough, and Childe Wynd was able to resume his rightful place there as the witch had returned to her natural state -a warty toad - when the princess’ dragon spell had been broken.

Another engaging story is the medieval comedy of the dragon of Wantley in Yorkshire - this dragon was killed by More of More Hall by a swift kick to the backside (the dragon’s weak spot!), and More was paid in virgins and beer (a classic folk hero).

Finally there is the Cheshire story of the Moston dragon, who specifically preyed unfairly on the people of Moston who were just trying to eat some really good apples. It was shot by Sir Thomas Venables.

The less iconic English dragon species is the cockatrice, and I was delighted to find the story of a Cumbrian cockatrice at the small town of Renwick. The story says a cockatrice (chicken dragon) was found underneath a church, so one of the church builders needed to smite it with a branch of magical protective rowan - meaning essentially some builders found a dragon, freaked out and beat it to death with a large stick.

There are a few English dragons which did not fit any specific dragon species in Dracones Mundi, such as the winged Essex serpent (might be a gwiber (Pteroserpens cambrius) out of Wales?), the invisible Longwitton dragon, and then a few other dragons which lack proper descriptions (Sockburn dragon from County Durham, Brent Pelham dragon from Hertfordshire, the dragon that lived under the Drake Stone at Alnwick etc.)

Basically this boils down to England having 3 - to - 5 species of dragon according to Dracones Mundi: lindorms, smoki and cockatrices are found throughout England, gwiberod are found near Wales but also sprinkled in a few other locations according to legend, and vouivre are found in southern England.

#Dracones Mundi #Here be Dragons #England #UK #Asks

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dulwichdiverter · 6 years

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Treachery and treason

Words: Mark Bryant; Photo by Paul Popper/Popperfoto/Getty Images

This year, 2019, not only marks the 80th anniversary of the beginning of the Second World War, but also the departure for Nazi Germany of a former Dulwich resident who became one of modern history’s most notorious propagandists – William Joyce, better known as “Lord Haw-Haw”.

Joyce was born in Brooklyn, New York, on April 24 1906, the eldest of four children of an Irish émigré builder and a doctor’s daughter from Lancashire. When he was three the family returned to Ireland and 12 years later he was sent to England to stay with his mother’s relations in Oldham.

Intending to study medicine, he moved to London in 1922 to attend the Battersea Polytechnic Institute (later the University of Surrey in Guildford), while living in digs nearby.

The following year his parents and siblings moved to Allison Grove, Dulwich, just off what is now the south circular near West Dulwich Station, and William joined them. His father had set up shop as a grocer nearby.

Their new home, to paraphrase from Rebecca West’s book The Meaning of Treason (1949), was “a house as delightfully situated as any in London. Allison Grove is a short road of small houses which has been hacked out from the corner of the gardens of a white Regency villa in the greenest part of Dulwich.

“Not far off is Mill Pond, still a clear mirror of leaves and sky, and beyond it Dulwich College amidst its groves and playing fields. The neighbours all noted that William was the apple of the family’s eye, and they could understand it, for the boy had an air of exceptional spirit and promise.”

However, his studies at the polytechnic did not go well and he failed his exams soon after moving to Dulwich. Undaunted (he was still only 17), he got a place to study English at Birkbeck College, University of London.

While at Birkbeck he became chairman of the Conservative Student Society and had ambitions to become a Tory MP.

In December 1923, while still a student, he also became a member of the British Fascists (BF) group which canvassed for the Conservative and Unionist parties and acted as stewards for their meetings.

In the run-up to the general election of October 1924, Joyce was a steward at a rally at Lambeth Baths hall near the Imperial War Museum (now the site of Lambeth Towers) for the Unionist candidate for Lambeth North, Jack Lazarus.

However, a fight broke out with Communist hecklers and Joyce was badly slashed in the face by a razor. The Evening Standard reported the incident on its front page, quoting Lazarus as saying “The man Joyce, one of our supporters, fell down, his face covered in blood”. The article continued: “Mr William Joyce, of Allison Grove, Dulwich, had... to be confined to hospital.”

A week after his 21st birthday, when he was still living at home in Dulwich, he secretly married a fellow Birkbeck student. In June 1927 he received a first class degree in English and soon afterwards began a postgraduate course in philology.

He and his wife then moved to Chelsea, where he joined the Conservative Party (he had left the British Fascists in 1925) and, having failed to be nominated as a Tory candidate, he tried unsuccessfully to get a job at the Foreign Office. He then worked as a tutor of languages and history at the Victoria Tutorial College in Eccleston Square.

By 1932 he and his family (which then included two daughters) had moved south of the river again and settled in a flat on Farquhar Road in Gipsy Hill, near the Crystal Palace before it burnt down. The house was within walking distance of Joyce’s parents in Dulwich.

While on Farquhar Road Joyce continued working as a tutor and, having given up his philology course, he began to study part-time for a PhD in educational psychology at King’s College London.

Meanwhile, he joined Oswald Mosley’s newly founded British Union of Fascists (the Blackshirts) in August 1933 and when he was offered a well-paid job working for the BUF in November, he gave up his PhD and his tutoring work. Within two years he became the BUF’s director of propaganda and deputy leader.

Meanwhile, his relationship with his wife had deteriorated and in 1936 the marriage was dissolved. He then remarried and moved to north London. As Rebecca West says: “He left south London, which had been his home since he was a boy with the exception of a few brief episodes; which was still the home of his father, Michael Joyce, and his mother, Queenie, and his brothers and sister.”

However, before long he returned to Dulwich. In 1937 he left the BUF and founded – with ex-BUF members John Beckett (fomerly the independent Labour MP for Peckham) and John McNab – his own party, known as the National Socialist League.

The NSL held a number of meetings in Dulwich on the corner of Calton Avenue and Dulwich Village, outside Dulwich Library on Lordship Lane and sometimes inside when permission for the use of St Barnabas’ Parish Hall in Dulwich Village was refused).

His brothers also supported the NSL. To paraphrase Mary Kenny: “Frank had spoken for the Mosley Blackshirt movement on a couple of occasions, mostly at local meetings in Dulwich. Quentin also became caught up in the fringes of fascist politics because of his unquestioning devotion to his brother William.

“Indeed, William seems to have roped in his whole family. He even had his teenage sister, Joan, hand out Fascist propaganda leaflets at Sydenham School for Girls. He also dressed little Robert up in a black shirt. ‘Poor Mrs Joyce!’ the neighbours in Dulwich used to exclaim. ‘With all those terrible children in their black shirts!’”

The NSL was disbanded in 1939 and Joyce and his wife moved to Germany on August 26 that year, only days before the Second World War broke out. Within a short while he began his infamous nightly propaganda broadcasts to Britain prefaced with the words “Germany calling”.

The nickname Lord Haw-Haw originated from an article written by Daily Express radio critic Jonah Barrington, who added: “I imagine him with a receding chin, a questing nose, thin yellow hair brushed back, a monocle, a vacant eye, a gardenia in his button-hole. Rather like PG Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster.”

In 1939 Barrington produced a humorous book, Lord Haw-Haw of Zeesen – one of the German radio stations Joyce broadcasted from). It was illustrated by the cartoonist Ian Fenwick, who was killed during the war.

Many other cartoonists lampooned Lord Haw-Haw including William Heath Robinson and Leslie Illingworth, who lived in Dulwich in the 1960s. The Beano comic’s “Lord Snooty” strip even featured him during the war.

He was also the butt of comedians such as Max Miller in the revue Haw-Haw at the Holborn Empire, Arthur Askey as “Baron Hee-Haw” on BBC radio’s “Band Waggon”, Geoffrey Sumner, presenting “Nasty News” on British Pathé newsreels and the Western Brothers in their song Lord Haw-Haw, the Humbug of Hamburg.

Joyce broadcast throughout the war years but, ironically, one of the first German bombs to land on Dulwich during the London Blitz in August 1940 completely destroyed his family home. His parents, sister and youngest brother then moved into a flat on Underhill Road, East Dulwich.

His parents both died there in the 1940s, after which his sister and brother Quentin lived in the flat for a while. Quentin was arrested as a possible spy in 1939 but was released from prison in 1943. He later married and lived nearby in Sydenham Hill.

His other two brothers, Frank and Robert, both served in the British Army during the war. Frank’s first wife was the daughter of Harry Weeks, who ran the Magdala pub in Lordship Lane (now The Lordship).

In the last days of the war Joyce was captured by the Allies and put on trial. By a strange quirk of fate the chief prosecutor was Old Alleynian Sir Hartley Shawcross (the future Lord Shawcross), who later became chairman of the board of governors of Dulwich College and was president of the Alleyn Club.

At first it seemed that Joyce might be acquitted as he was born in the USA (and was thus not a UK citizen), but he was eventually condemned of high treason and hanged as a result of his application for a British passport in 1933 while living in Farquhar Road.

In 2009, when she was in her 80s, Joyce’s elder daughter Heather, interviewed on BBC Radio 4, said that she was at boarding school when war broke out and was not aware of his activities.

However, she added: “I saw him in my mind’s eye at the parental home, where my grandparents lived, in Allison Grove and he was pacing the carpet of their living-room with the lace curtains and the piano, and he had his little German songbook and he was walking up and down and he was singing, ‘Dulwich-Land, Dulwich-Land Uber Alles’.”

William Joyce died in Wandsworth Prison on January 3, 1946 aged 39. He was the last person to be executed for high treason in the UK.

Mark Bryant lives in East Dulwich and is the author World War II in Cartoons and other books.

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sussex-nature-lover · 2 years

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Saturday 20 August 2022

Blackberries and the Weather

This link below from the BBC will tell you some things you didn’t know about brambles and blackberries, including the fact that there are over 330 species of bramble in the UK, which helps explain why not all blackberries taste the same.

Click this text for link

Our heatwave’s suffered a short, sharp shock this week and we’ve had absolutely torrential downpours - see the end of this post for evidence, perhaps the rain will help our fruit come on some. Here are photos from the garden at the beginning of the week.

I’m really not sure what to make of what the forensic scientist says on the BBC clip - and don’t even want to think about what he’d be surmising if he came and looked around our garden and woodland! Both nettles and brambles are the absolute house speciality.

*note - is the bramble patch now the new patio? (decades old Brookside reference for those who might remember)

As you can see there are a few plump and glossy dark fruit, but many more still red and even higher numbers of green lagging far behind.

The crunchy Sahara-like lawns will take a while to start growing and green-up again, but there’s now a bit more colour, even if it is a question of wearing an Autumnal coat. I heard the TV weatherman say that we’re having a ‘false Autumn’ in some parts as trees drop their leaves responding to the prolonged and intense dry spells, that’s definitely the case here.

Here’s a small snapshot of how our weather turned. I should say though, that the skies were mostly much darker than this and the rain even heavier, but I confess, I’d forgotten what heavy rain sounds (and even looks) like.

vimeo

When it stopped we went down to see how full the pond had become because anything resembling a container was brimming over. It’s pretty full now and that little wooden fence needs some extra pins adding.

The grass was much better although the ground didn’t feel wet really and in the woods it also felt different underfoot, not yet refreshed, but definitely softer. We went down through the trees to look because of the noise we could hear from the garden.

I didn’t risk stumbling down a mudslide but did manage this clip from a distance.

vimeo

For a tiny, flat and still ribbon that had completely dried up, this is pretty raging (turn your speakers right up) Nothing was coming off our land, it’s all from the village side, which is higher than we are and the channel does look much deeper than it used to be. It’s back to a long puddle again now, although we had rain all morning yesterday.

In other garden news - it’s been pretty quiet in terms of anything to record. Plenty of birds at the feeders still, including several Chaffinch today, which is lovely and Long Tailed Tits who do a fly-by feasting. I’ve fairly sure there’s a male Wood Pigeon making eyes at a female again, but the nests by the house both failed this year. The old nest in the Wisteria was used for a while and a new one was built in the same location, pretty close by really, but it did seem as though the builder befell an unpleasant end. That felt sad as she was nesting so close to us, but the local pigeon population is very healthy, so it’s not like witnessing the loss of something rare to the garden or its surroundings.

On my other page last week I posted a pic of some sweet pepper seeds that I’d popped in to a bit of compost. Here’s the update: I guess they need pricking out and moving on, so I’d better get on with it.

If you’d like to see my short blogs and plenty more photos, this is the link.

#nature weather foraging rurallife countryside gardenbirds

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olivereliott · 3 years

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Speed Read, October 31, 2021

What have a rescued Rickman Triumph, the new Husqvarna Norden 901 and a Japanese hoverbike got in common? Absolutely nothing at all, except they’re in this week’s Speed Read. Enjoy.

Larry Maas’ Rickman Triumph T120 Some fifty years ago, Larry Maas worked at Kosman Specialties, one of the most famous names in motorcycle racing. He laced up about 3,000 wheels for Sandy Kosman in his time, and when not working, watched another employee put together a bike from a Rickman Métisse frame and tank, and Avon seat unit.

The engine had a ’67 bottom end, 800cc barrels, a modified TR6 head, and racing cams. The forks were Ceriani GP35s, with a Fontana 4LS brake. Then the build stopped, the Triumph went up for sale, and Larry tipped off a friend—who bought it.

“Everyone was amazed at how powerful it was,” says Larry. “It had the standard one-gallon Rickman motocross tank and weighed in at only 295 pounds with oil and gas!”

Larry welded up a pair of megaphone pipes for his friend, and added the necessities to make it road legal. And when his friend passed away in 1990, he inherited the bike.

The T120 had been sitting in a garage unused, and stayed like that until around two years ago. So Larry decided restore the bike, “As a street-legal ride but keeping it as period-correct as possible… and with no oil leaks.”

As you can imagine, it was a long and often frustrating process—complicated by Larry suffering from a degenerative nerve disease called Charcot-Marie-Tooth. But the result was worth it. “It now idles beautifully, a little rough from the hot cams, but it’s music to my ears!” he says. If you’re into Rickmans or old British iron, the story is long but worth a read.

Paul Smart, 1943-2021 One of the most famous (and likeable) British motorcycle racers passed away on Wednesday, after an accident while riding his bike in the south of England.

In the 1960s, Paul Smart was an extremely successful short circuit specialist in the UK, and a podium finisher at the Isle of Man TT. But he’s best remembered for his exploits across the pond—notably his win at the 1972 Imola 200 on a Ducati 750.

It was a hugely important victory for the Italian marque. At that time, Ducati was known for its small-capacity bikes, and had a low racing profile in the States. But today, anyone with a passing interest in historic racing would recognize the 750 that was piloted by the amiable Brit, with its blue frame and silver metalflake gelcoat.

Ducati celebrated Smart’s win with the stunning Paul Smart 1000 LE road bike in 2006, although the frame replicated the ‘sea foam green’ paint from the 750SS. Smart’s legacy has also inspired several custom builders.

He is survived by his wife Maggie (Barry Sheene’s sister) and two children.

Royal Enfield Meteor 350 by Ironwood The Meteor might be a low budget, no frills commuter bike, but it’s already winning fans. The design team included ex-Triumph people and Harris Performance, so the mini-cruiser performs well—enough to win the ‘Retro Bike Of The Year’ award from the British magazine Motorcycle News.

The Meteor is built down to a price, and sells for a mere £3,749/$4,399. Aesthetic corners have inevitably been cut, so Royal Enfield tapped Arjan van den Boom of Amsterdam’s Ironwood Motorcycles to add a little spice.

The brief was maximum effect for minimum cost, so Arjan had to temper his usual approach and focus on smaller changes. He’s done a remarkably good job though, tidying up the back end with a custom bobber seat, blacking out as much chrome as he could, and building a custom exhaust.

After adding new bars, YSS piggyback shocks and chunky Continental TKC tires, Arjan’s work was done. He handed over the bike to Royal Kustom Works, who finished it off with lashings of black paint and Star Wars-themed striping, complete with pinpricked star constellations.

Adrian Sellers, the head of Royal Enfield’s custom program, says: “This build reinforces how important accessibility is to us as a brand, and how much can be achieved with a little imagination. Full credit to Arjan and the wider Ironwood team.”

If you’re going to the EICMA show in Milan at the end of this month, look out for the Ironwood Custom Meteor 350 on the Royal Enfield stand. [US Meteor product page]

Husqvarna Norden 901 launched The ADV market sure is heating up. The Harley Pan America 1250 has made a refreshing splash, the Aprilia Tuareg 660 looks extremely promising, and a few hours ago Husqvarna revealed the long-teased Norden 901.

The Norden is based on the KTM 890 Adventure platform, with the same excellent 899 cc parallel twin pumping out 105 hp. The styling is clean and retro-futuristic; thankfully there’s no clumsy ‘beak.’

The spec list is impressive too. Claimed dry weight is a very reasonable 204 kilos (450 pounds), which is a substantial 50 kilos (or so) less than many of the higher-capacity ADV bikes. You won’t need a crane to pick this one up if you drop it.

Suspension is via KTM’s in-house WP brand, with 220 mm of travel in the 43mm Apex forks. The electronics package includes a 5-inch TFT display, multiple riding modes, switchable ABS, adjustable traction control, KTM’s superb quickshifter and auto blipper, and a slipper clutch.

It looks like the Norden 901 has actually been designed for off-roading and exploration. As well as the obvious F21/R18 wheelset, the projected range is over 400 km when the 19-liter tank is full. The engine also has knock sensors to prevent damage from low-quality fuel.

On paper it looks very promising, we love the aesthetics, and US pricing is sharp at $13,999. It remains to be seen how the Norden performs in the real world. But given that parent company KTM has won more Dakar rallies in the 21st century than any other manufacturer, we suspect Husqvarna is onto a winner. [Norden 901 product page]

A.L.I. Technologies Xturismo hoverbike We’re still getting to grips with the idea of electric motorcycles, so this one is a bit of a stretch. It’s not the first flying motorcycle we’ve seen—Lazareth attempted it a couple of years ago in France—but the Xturismo is going into production.

A.L.I. Technologies is a drone company based in Tokyo, and apparently counts the electronics corporation Mitsubishi as one of its backers. It plans to manufacture 200 hoverbikes by the middle of next year.

The Xturismo is around 12 feet long and weighs 661 pounds, which is about the same as a fueled-up Harley Softail Standard—and less than some of the bigger cruisers out there. With a rider weighing up to 220 pounds, it can fly for 40 minutes and reach a claimed 62 mph.

The Xturismo is available for pre-order right now, but there’s a small catch: the price is around $680,000. In other words, Ferrari Stradale money.

But even the most advanced hybrid supercar won’t transport you from your superyacht moored off Cannes to your favorite hotel on the Croisette. And that’s gotta be worth something, right? [Xturismo]

youtube

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foodaphiles · 3 years

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The future brew?

So on our journey into British culture through food, we’ve found out some interesting facts and opinions about the UK’s love of tea and biscuits. But what does the future hold?

A couple of our British experts told us that although they drink lots of tea, they also really enjoy that other cuppa - coffee!

Image from: thecoffeeuniverse

And they aren’t alone.

According to this article, Britain ranks fifth in Europe for their consumption of coffee and spent about 4 billion pounds at high street cafes in 2020!

And for the, ahem, younger generations, builder’s tea is taking a backseat to more specialty teas like green, herbal and spiced varieties.

But despite these changes, we know one thing for sure: a ginger nut will go down well with anything! And we’ll raise our tea, or coffee, to that!

This wraps up our look at British culture through tea and biscuits, but if you’d like to watch all of the videos with our British experts to get a greater insight into their love of tea and biscuit, head to our YouTube channel!

See you next week for another exploration into culture through food! (Spoiler alert - we’re jumping across the pond :))

#future brew

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orangeries-uk · 3 months

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contractors892 · 4 years

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Find Local Builders In Middleton - Myjobquote.co.uk

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jly222 · 4 years

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Celebration Peanut Butter Lovers 19 Month November 2020

Peanut Butter, that strange thick rich concoction of a humble legume. It appears in candy 19s, in sandwiches, and even in rich savory dishes in the form of a sauce. There 19s crunchy peanut butter and creamy peanut butter, and peanut butter that comes premixed with honey. Rich and full of protein, it 19s also favored by body builders, hikers, and health nuts alike. November is Peanut Butter Lover 19s Month, so get ready for an entire month of Peanut Buttery Madness!

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You can 19t talk about the history of Peanut Butter Month without talking about the history of peanut butter, and by extension, peanuts. Peanuts are a legume that originates in South America, and has been domesticated for 7600 years. Can 19t be surprised that a little legume (not a nut!) that 19s been around for so long has proven to be so incredibly popular the world round.

While the origins of peanut butter can be traced back to the Aztecs and Incans, the modern history of it starts in 1884, when it was patented by a chemist by the name of Edson. His whole purpose in developing it was to ensure that those who had issue chewing hard foods would be able to have a delicious way to get the nutrition they needed.

Since then they 19ve exploded onto the culinary scene in every possible permutation, and can be found in some variation in some form in every meal. In 1995 Peanut Butter Lovers month came into existence and has been celebrated ever since in a month-long peanut buttery bacchanal!

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Considering how flexible peanut butter is as an ingredient, Peanut Butter Lovers Month is your opportunity to start putting more of this fantastic legume into your meals. Every day you can add in one peanut butter themed meal into your diet. Whether it 19s a simple Peanut Butter & Jelly sandwich for lunch, or a savory and delicious pad thai, there 19s tons of ways for you to incorporate it.

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gpnationalcrane · 4 years

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The 12 Best Construction Podcasts of 2020

Construction Junkie's 6th Annual Best Construction Podcast Competition has officially come to an end and the results have been tallied. It was a very exciting competition this year, with a few records broken along the way.

This year, there were 12 best podcast nominees, the most the competition has ever seen. Former winners CONEXPO-CON/AGG Radio, The ConTechCrew, and The Lien Zone were back and all had strong showings in the voting round.

Overall, this years competition not only had the most nominees, it also tallied the most total votes and this year’s winner also had the most votes of any winner in the history of the contest.

To find the results of our 5 previous competitions, click the corresponding year: 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.

Construction Junkie's 2020 Best Construction Podcast Competition Results

THE WINNER: Bridging the Gap

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://bridgingthegappod.com/

With a mission to empower those in the construction industry to better embrace technology, the Bridging the Gap Podcast hosts audio and video interviews with many interesting construction innovators. With so many new innovations and technologies entering the world of construction, host Todd Weyandt leads the discussion with industry experts to help keep you up-to-speed with the latest the industry has to offer.

Check out our full review of Bridging the Gap by clicking or tapping here.

#2: Construction Brothers Podcast

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://www.brospodcast.com/

Hosted by 6th-generation builders Eddie and Tyler Campbell, the Construction Brothers Podcast interviews interesting and inspiring guests from all aspects of the construction industry. They also hold the distinction of being the only podcast in the history of this competition to invite me on as a guest (brownie points). Eddie and Tyler currently run a Building Information Modeling (BIM) company called ABSI and bring their rich industry knowledge and friendly personalities to the show each week.

Check out our full review of the Construction Brothers Podcast by clicking or tapping here.

#3: The Mass Construction Show

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/anchor-podcasts/mass-construction-show

While the Mass Construction Show admittedly has a Massachusetts lean, the show is applicable to anyone in the industry across construction. Host Joe Kelly features guests from construction companies throughout the country, as well as solo episodes with interesting topics shaping the industry.

Check out our full review of the Mass Construction Show by clicking or tapping here.

#4: The ConTech Crew

Previous nominations: 2016 (winner), 2017, 2018, 2019

Listen to it here: https://jbknowledge.com/thecontechcrew

The ConTech Crew (@TheConTechCrew) is also a previous champion, taking home the title in 2016. Hosted by JBKnowledge CEO James Benham (@JamesMBenham) and a rotating cast of Rob McKinney (@ConAppGuru), Jeff Sample (@IronmanOfIT), and others, the ConTech Crew Podcast takes a weekly deep dive on construction technology topics and interviews the biggest names in construction technology.

Check out our full review of The ConTechCrew Podcast by clicking or tapping here.

#5: CONEXPO/CON-AGG Radio

Previous nominations: 2018 (winner), 2019 (winner)

Listen to it here: http://www.conexpoconagg.com/visit/conexpo-con-agg-radio-podcasts/

The back-to-back champs are back to defend their crown in 2020, but this year they have a brand new look and a brand new host. CONEXPO/CON-AGG is now hosted by Missy Scherber, owner of T. Scherber and Excavating and @missyscherber on Instagram, took over the show in August of 2019, just a short while after last year’s best podcast competition ended. Given her active industry experience, Missy is bringing a “boots on-the-ground” perspective to the show and interviewing many of the leaders in earthwork and construction technology.

Check out our full review of CONEXPO/CON-AGG Radio by clicking or tapping here.

#6: The Lien Zone

Previous nominations: 2016, 2017 (winner), 2018, 2019

Listen to it here: https://www.thelienzonepodcast.com

Hosted by Miami construction lawyer, Alex Barthet (@thelienzone), The Lien Zone Podcast, discusses many aspects of the construction industry from a legal point of view. This weekly podcast, which won our competition in 2017, is a quick listen, with most lasting less than 10 minutes, but that’s all the time Alex needs to inform his audience about each topic.

Check out our full review of The Lien Zone by clicking or tapping here.

#7: The Construction Shared Pains Podcast

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://www.constructionprogress.org/podcast.html

The Construction Shared Pains Podcast brings 3 leaders in construction technology together to discuss the challenges construction companies face in adopting technology. Host Sasha Reed (@AlohaSasha), field reporter Nathan Wood (@nathancwood), and show producer Dan Smolilo (@Construct_Techy) invite “guest perspectives” on each topic and share their own experiences from their years of experience.

Check out our full review of The Construction Shared Pains Podcast by clicking or tapping here.

#8: Contracting Coachcast

Previous nominations: 2015, 2017, 2018

Listen to it here: http://contractingcoach.com/

The Contracting Coachcast is the only construction podcast on this year’s list that was also nominated for our very first best podcast competition in 2015. The long running podcast, hosted by Tony Booth, is published 5 days a week and most are around 20 minutes long. On the show, Booth discusses a variety of different construction topics, such as pre-bid contracts, general conditions reviews, tracking and monitoring project issues, and improving cash flow.

Check out our full review of The Contracting Coachcast by clicking or tapping here.

#9: Changing Construction Podcast

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://blog.mailmanager.com/new-blog/podcast-najma-dunnett

The Changing Construction Podcast dives into a variety of opportunities affecting the construction industry in the UK, including diversity, digitization, mental health and well-being, and more. While it may be based in the UK, there is no doubt there are many similarities in America’s construction industry and many lessons to be to be taken from our friends across the pond and their industry expert guests.

#10: The Construction Management Podcast

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: http://buildertactics.com/construction-podcast/

The Construction Management Podcast is hosted by industry professionals Damien Edwards and Jason Shipe and bring their years of knowledge and experience from their past and current roles in the construction industry, as superintendents, project managers, and business owners. The duo talk about a ton of interesting and relevant topics for construction managers, like managing clients, dealing with underperforming trades, and QA/QC. I was first introduced to their show when I listened to an earlier episode titled “Ethics,” which I thought was a real and informative examination of the moral gray area that construction can live in.

Check out our full review of The Construction Management Podcast by clicking or tapping here.

#11: Grain Knockers Podcast

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://soundcloud.com/user-192826840

The Grain Knockers Podcast is a unique show in our competition this year, because it focuses on the craft of woodworking and tools. Hosted by furniture maker and craftsman, William Patrick, the show features interviews with other makers and tool manufacturers, like Milwaukee Tool, Saw Stop, and “The Wood Whisperer” Marc Spagnuolo. William is an entertaining and knowledgeable guy and a great follow on Instagram (@williampatrickcustoms)

Check out our full review of Grain Knockers by clicking or tapping here.

vote for grainknockers podcast

#12: In The Blue - A Podcast About All Things Bluebeam

Previous nominations: first time nominated

Listen to it here: https://uscad.com/resources/in-the-blue-podcast/

For those that might not know, Bluebeam is a construction industry favorite for reviewing construction documents and PDF markup. The show is hosted by members of the technology provider and Bluebeam Platinum Partner, US CAD, so they bring some clout themselves, as well as inviting guests from the industry on to share their perspective on the software.

Check out our full review of In the Blue by clicking or tapping here.

source https://www.constructionjunkie.com/blog/2020/5/19/place-your-vote-for-the-best-construction-podcast-of-2020-xew7d from G P NATIONAL CRANES LTD https://gpnationalcrane.blogspot.com/2020/07/the-12-best-construction-podcasts-of.html

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allenmendezsr · 4 years

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Inside this massive database, you’ll find 1’000s of landscaping pictures in 60+ categories like these…

I don’t know about you, but I like simple. I like it easy. I mean – Just think about it for a second.

Lets face it. Most homeowners have no experience in planning and designing gardens or front yards. And if professionals can run out of ideas, you can just expect how hard it could be for ordinary folks.

That is where Ideas4Landscaping comes in.

” Ever Wanted Landscape Designs Like Those You See On HGTV or MTV Cribs?… ”

You know what I’m talking about. like the ones you see featured on the covers of home renovation and gardening magazines…

…the patios that make you jealous of your neighbor’s backyard; The front yards that you only see on shows such as HGTV, DIYNetwork & MTV Cribs. The landscaping that you’ve always wanted to see on your own lawn; The kind of landscaping that you can imagine your kids playing on.

So if you’re ready to get that perfect landscaping for your home, let me introduce you to…

Ideas4Landscaping

The Complete Landscaping Resource – Your 1-Stop Database of Over 7000 High-Resolution Photographs, Step-by-Step Plans, Videos & the Freshest Ideas on Landscaping!

With Ideas4Landscaping , You’ll Gain Instant Access to.

Thousands of High-Quality Landscaping Designs and Instructions . so you won’t have to settle for the limited , mediocre , and typical designs you see on magazines or on a lot of websites

Designs for Your Front Yard, Backyard, & Garden. so you can easily create landscaping plans for anywhere around your house

Step-by-Step Guides & Designing Tips. so you can immediately start “professionally” shaping your outdoor this weekend!

Basic & Pro Landscaping Designs. so you can use the ideas whether you’re a DIY beginner, a professional landscaper, or a homeowner willing to spend to get that perfect landscape for your outdoors

Simple & Affordable Landscape Upgrades. so you can dramatically boost the value and appeal of your property with a few simple and cheap strategies

Garden Landscape Designs with Various Appeals. so you can get ideas for a formal, light, refreshing, or whatever type of garden atmosphere you want

Photos Organized in 64 Galleries. So you can easily find the specific designs you’re looking for. Find galleries for Facades, Fountains, Front Yards, Gardens, Garages, Lawns, Pools, Flowers, Pegolas, Gazebos.the list goes on and on.

With FREE Lifetime Updates. so you’ll discover more fresh landscaping ideas as soon as the database is updated!

Here’s the bottom line: Ideas4Landscaping is a design package suitable for beginners & professionals which allows you to begin designing your dream home landscape immediately WITHOUT the hassles and costs.

It is everything you’ll need to get started in creating the perfect outdoor living experience for you and your family with gardens, pools ,decks, pathways ,sheds, gazebos, hedges, driveways, waterfalls, ponds, patios and walkways!

” You Can Transform Your Landscape In a Single Weekend! ”

Most of the landscaping ideas in Ideas4Landscaping can be completed in a weekend at a cost much lower than you would have paid otherwise! These are simple, quick and easy tips to implement!

Create the ideal landscape to complement your home – complete with gazebos and pools, slopes and grades, fencing and plants. Enhance your home’s exterior with stylish furniture, lighting and more.

” Thousands Of Designs – For Every Style & Preference “

Getting ideas to landscape your home is not a problem. Ideas4Landscaping has a style for nearly every yard, climate, country, trend, preference and art form.

In fact, there are thousands of themes which will take you days to go through. If you simply want to browse through photos of design or just look for ideas for a certain style, you will really enjoy this gallery.

Quite frankly, if you got plans to build any type of landscape, Ideas4Landscaping will be invaluable to you.

Make any project easy and hassle-free!

Don’t waste time and money figuring out your next project when you are just 5 minutes away from the most comprehensive resource yet.

Listen closely… this is

NOT

your ordinary, run of the mill designs you find on the Internet.

Simply stated, these are cutting-edge designer type of landscapes and themes that would cost you THOUSANDS of dollars if you hire a professional landscaper.

Facts About Landscaping You Might Not Know:

Landscaping projects often have a recovery value of up to 200%.

In human psychology, a person’s home represents who he or she is. Your landscape subconsciously tells people just how much you value your well being.

The Society of Real Estate Appraisers believes that landscaping increases the appeal of a residential property.

Because you know you and your family deserve a better outdoor view each morning your wake up and you get home!

Get Started Landscaping Today >>

” BUT Helen, Why Don’t I Simply Subscribe To Landscaping Magazines? “

Because you see, magazines offer very limited ideas.

You can buy a year’s worth of subscription and there’s still a chance that you still won’t find the landscaping idea that’s perfect for your dream home.

What happens next?

You would either give up totally OR end up spending tens of thousands of dollars on landscaping services that makes your landscape look worse than an empty lot.

But don’t just take my word for it…

” Listen To What My Satisfied Customers Have To Say… “

The truth is, home owners from all walks of life have benefited greatly from Ideas4Landscaping and testimonials like these started to flow into my email inbox:

“Great For Inspirations & Ideas!”

Ryan & Chloe Langley, UK

This is by far one of the best collections and guide on landscape design I’ve ever purchased.

It is well organized, chock full of beautiful photographs, ideas and landscape diagrams. These designs is for everyone, from the novice to the trained professional. Great source for inspiration and ideas. This has become a valuable addition to our reference library.

“Saved Me Hundreds On Landscaping”

Teri Lewis Brisbane, QLD

I am a gardener for just two seasons now. I am amazed at all the unique ideas this one collection presented. It allowed me to see the possibilities I could incorporate in my front yard remodeling.

By following just two of her tips, it has saved me hundreds on landscaping, and builders. Helen Whitfield has done an exceptional job in creating something that provides you visual guidance that allows you to discover possibilities you never dreamed existed…

“The Final Push I Need To Design My Backyard!”

Keith Hurley Staten Island, NY

Ideas4Landscaping is exactly what I was looking for. The photos and text are informative and inspirational, but what makes this book stand out is the massive amount of themes and styles. You can use it to identify your personal style and decide whether you want a front-and-center style of yard, one of overlapping circles, or the like.

It gave me the final push I needed to finally make sense of my own challenging backyard landscape, and guess what? I love it!

But it gets even better! To sweeten the deal, I’m throwing in 4 time-limited bonus.

These bonuses are worth $741 and they are included FREE if you order today.

” Claim These Exclusive Bonuses If You Order Now… “ For Homeowners Who Take Advantage Of This Offer Today…

Time-Limited Bonus #1 : “120 Premium Landscaping Videos” ($450 Value)

You’re also going to recieve a lifetime membership access to over 120 premium landscaping videos on a wide array of topics, hosted by veteran landscapers. Comes with easy-to-follow step by step video instructions…

Gain FREE Instant Access to an exclusive members-only site that features over 120 step-by-step landscaping video tutorials.

It includes easy-to-follow steps thats is suitable for both beginners and pros. New videos are added on a consistent basis!

These hi quality premium videos are worth a total of $450 if I sell this separately but you’ll get free access if you order today!

Time-Limited Bonus #2 : “Landscaping Secrets Revealed Guide ” ($197 Value)

This book is the bible of landscaping. Here’s where you’ll find practically all the secrets pro landscapers use to create awesome views…

“$197 Value” You get it for FREE

Create inexpensive gardens and landscapes

Easy & accessible ways to increase your property value

How to create a low-maintenance landscape

How to create gorgeous patios

What types of landscaping add the most “curb appeal”

Boost your property’s curb appeal

How to select the right soil and plants for your garden

Weed control techniques

And many more ideas…

This guide will save you hundreds of dollars on “advice” that ends up not helping you at all. This is a MUST-HAVE for all aspiring landscapers

Time-Limited Bonus #3 : “Save On Energy Costs – Green Home Guide “ ($57 Value)

Is your home as energy efficient as it can be?

Many people will be shocked to learn that they can lose up to 25% or more of the energy in their home without the need to. You literally could be flushing your money down the drain.

“$57 Value” You get it for FREE

Inside this guide, you’ll discover various ways to save money by making your home more energy efficient.

Discover simple ways that lead to energy wastage. and eventually money down the drain.

Discover how to save energy at home

Save money on water & electricity bills

Make your home more environmentally friendly

Improve living conditions for your family

And to top it all off, I’m going to do something I didn’t originally plan on doing at all.

When I started planning Ideas4Landscaping, I knew this bonus would be invaluable for all home owners. I wanted to sell the next bonus individually for $37.00 but to sweeten this deal, I’m going to give it to you!

Time-Limited Bonus #4 : “How To Grow Organic Vegetables ” ($37 Value)

“$37 Value” You get it for FREE

The Beginners Manual For Creating & Managing Your Own Organic Food Garden – Even If You Know Nothing About Organic Gardening

Why settle for a good looking backyard when you can also make it “good tasting?” Learn how to plant delicious and all natural vegetables that not only make you and your family healthy but also make your home look more organic and beautiful.

Enjoy better tasting gourmet food on a daily basis.

Raise your energy level

Lower your weekly food bills.

Eliminate disease creating chemicals that big companies spray through your family’s food.

Remember, these are time-sensitive bonuses that is only available to the next 50 17 members ( or before before in 2 days

) so order it now before it’s gone.

Get All These Ideas4Landscaping BONUSES Now >>

” There’s Nothing Else Like This Package On The Market Today… ”

That’s a statement I do not take lightly. But as I mentioned earlier, I’ve thoroughly researched the market and all competing products.

Truth is, I’ve been doing landscaping for almost 18 years, and I haven’t found anything like this for less than 10’s of thousands of dollars.

Here’s the bottom line: If you are planning to start on your landscaping project, this isn’t something you SHOULD use, it’s something that you would be insane not to.

Take a look at this comparison chart…

Ideas4Landscaping

Other Websites

Books & Magazines

7250+ Plans & Projects

No Hidden Fees or Extra Charges

Hi Resolution Quality

Instant Access 24/7

Free Lifetime Membership Area

For Beginners & Advanced

Full Range Of Themes

Cost Effective

Money Back Guarantee

And to make this totally risk-free for you.

” You’re Also Getting A NO-RISK, 60-Day Money Back Guarantee … “

I’ll offer you a 60-day, no hassles, no questions asked, full money back guarantee. Here is how it works:

Try the “Ideas4Landscaping” for 60 days. If, after you preview these designs and try them for sixty-days, you find that it hasn’t helped in any way, simply email me for a complete no-hassle refund. No questions. No hassles. We’ll still part as friends. And the 4 FREE bonuses is yours to keep even if you do get your money back!

But … once you preview Ideas4Landscaping even within a short time, you’ll never want to be without it. You’ll be thrilled with the cost savings and inspiration you reap from it. In fact, you’ll probably tell your friends about this breakthrough product.

Think about it:

The worst that can happen is you’ll come out $741 ahead with the 4 FREE bonuses. There’s simply no way you can lose with this iron clad money back guarantee.

Gain instant access to this amazing database + the bonuses for 60 days, TOTALLY RISK-FREE below:

Picture this: If just 5 minutes from now, you’ll find the right inspiration and design for your landscape and get the “dream home look” you’ve always wanted.

There’s no question that Ideas4Landscaping is the only resource you’ll need to finally achieve some progress in your landscaping. It doesn’t matter whether you want to rehab your garden, your front yard, or backyard. It doesn’t matter if you want new plants, a new pool, or a new gazebo.

Because, all the landscaping ideas you need are inside Ideas4Landscaping.

Today, you have the chance to get instant access to 0ver 7000 designs and start planning your ideal landscape. You can say, “I’ll probably have time for it later.”

But if you’ve read this letter this far.

That only means you really want a new landscape for your home. And if you don’t grab this opportunity to start right now, there will never be a “later” or a “next week”.

So why delay having that “magazine cover” landscaping for your home when you can start getting it today? Why delay an upgrade that you know your home badly needs? Why delay waking up in the morning to a beautiful garden kissed by sunshine?

Get instant access to Ideas4Landscaping now and move closer to your perfect home now:

I’m ready and eager to start downloading Ideas4Landscaping. By taking action today, I understand that:

You will grant me instant access. Once my enrollment is processed, you will give me immediate access to ALL your designs, including all the video tutorials, resources and the 4 bonuses worth $741.

By taking quick action today, I only pay a low investment of just $27. There are no renewals, no recurring fees, no other charges. This is a LIFETIME membership

In addition, I understand that I will forfeit this introductory price and the bonuses if I do not purchase it now.

I further understand that on top of all these incredible benefits, I am backed by your “Better than 100% Risk-Free Money Back Guarantee”

It is on that basis that I am clicking the secure order link below and getting instant access to Ideas4Landscaping now:

Regular Price: $97 Today: $27 [ Add To Cart ]

There are NO monthly payments or hidden fees.

in 2 days

Update: Free Bonuses If You Order Today!

To ensure your information stays secure, our payments are backed by McAfee Secure, so you know you can order from us at any time in full confidence!

To your perfect landscapes,

Landscaping Extraordinaire, Educator, Member of ANLA

P.S: In my 18 years of professional landscaping, the process that always takes the most time is not even the construction – it’s the planning. Time is ticking. So be sure to choose your design now from the 7,000 landscaping ideas inside Ideas4Landscaping . Click to order now >>

P.P.S: Remember, in 5 minutes from now you will have access to over 7,000 designs … If you are looking to give the exterior of your home a makeover, the easy and quick way, than I urge you to get in while its cheap . So take action & order now :

Regular Price: $97 Today: $27 [ Add To Cart ]

“This Is The Best One Yet …”

Fred Graham Compton, CA

If you want to buy only one thing on landscape designs, “Ideas4Landscaping” by Helen Whitfield is a great choice. I have bought many landscaping books/ & magazines, read a handful from cover to cover, but this is the best one yet.

I would highly recommend it to anyone who’s interested in landscaping.

P.P.P.S: This is a TIME-SENSITIVE OFFER! You will never have the opportunity to invest in this package again at this price once the introductory offer ends.

Please do NOT click off this page unless you are positively certain you want to pass up on this offer forever. Give me the Ideas4Landscaping collection right now »

Support/FAQ | Affiliates

Satisfaction Guarantee

If for some reason you are not satisfied with our designs – your money will be refunded.

24/7 Support Our technical support team is ready to answer questions and guide customers with a 24/7 email support .

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