#possibly one of my favorite failures I’ve ever done. look at them. they’re napping

[asterdeer]

my idiot warlock and her wizard boyfriend both got pushed out of different windows on different floors of the same building. but at least they’re together. this is the day after they decided not to pursue the power of the gods themselves btw

[cblgblog]

Sorry I’m advance but one of my other favorite accounts just reblogged a Tony scene and people are talking about Civil War and how it made them Stan Tony, and how when they watch that movie they hate team cap👀 Then someone was all about how he was sleep deprived and how much pressure he was under and couldn’t understand how people didn’t like Tony because. Someone literally said that when someone says they don’t like Tony in Civil War they say “did you watch the same movie as me.” I’m baffled. Oddly enough someone else said, “he just wants to help everyone.” Sorry for the rant but I think people forget about what the accords are and what it would mean for people. Side note, I hope you’re having a great day/night 😀

No sorry needed!

I feel you man, I do. Honestly, I’ve unfollowed people based on similar posts when I was in especially Done moods, so.

Look on the one hand, the movie would’ve been a narrative failure if everyone was in favor of one side or the other, right? The whole point of the damn thing—besides giving the Mouse overlords more money—was to spark discussion, debate. Which, yeah, we’ll call that the tame description for what actually happened. But just, the thing was meant to split the fanbase so in that regard…winning? Thanks, I guess?

Film is also very obviously subjective, different strokes for different folks, so yeah, ten people can watch a movie and none of them are gonna see the exact same film. Let’s try to remember that this is, in theory anyway, a good thing. I just read a professional film review yesterday where I had the same reaction. What film were you watching, dude? Incidentally his reviewing partner said the same thing.

So honestly, no, they weren’t watching the same film as you or I or anyone else, because everyone brings their own biases and experiences and knowledge and interests into a thing, and that’s always going to flavor how it’s viewed. Again, let’s try to remember that this is good. In theory. Heavy on the theory.

That out of the way? Let’s get into Tony specifically so his uber stans can find this and scream at me on anon as though I just shot RDJ with a nuke.

Oh yeah, he was stressed. Oh, he was sleep deprived. Yeah, I’ve heard that. And that it’s Pepper’s fault, if she hadn’t left the poor baby, if she was there to rein him in, he’d be fine dammit, leave the baby alone!

Here’s the thing. You know who gets a pass on their shit behavior when they’re upset or tired? Actual babies. Actual babies and toddlers, and children, up to a point. Because they actually cannot always help themselves. Their bodies and brains are different, they have not learned better.

When you’re a 50-year-old man who’s supposedly the world’s bestest superhero, who wants, wants to be in charge of protecting the whole world? You need a little more self-control than that. The sleep deprived excuse works if you snap at someone before you’ve had your coffee, not for this. Roseanne Barr didn’t get to blame Ambien for her racism, Tony doesn’t get to handwave CW away because oops, I was tired.

Really? You’re a superhero, dude. Most of your teammates are tired too, that’s part of the gig. If you crash and burn this badly without your afternoon nap, fucking hang up the armor and go back to your billionaire playboy lifestyle.

Speaking of that, sure, right. It’s Pepper’s fault because she left him. Put aside the argument on whether that was justified or not (cough, it was and she should’ve stayed away even though they are adorable together). It’s not Pepper’s job to keep Tony sane. It’s not any partner’s job to do that for anyone. If she wants out, she has a right to that, without Tony going off the rails and blaming it on her. Seriously, he says part of the reason he backed the Accords was to “split the difference” with Pepper.

Dude. You were an asshole and you lost your girl. You destroyed all your suits, turned an emotional and mental corner in IM 3…and then relapsed 4 minutes later I guess because Whedon. Either way, Tony admits himself that he does not want to stop. So instead of doing that, or finding another partner who can accept that, you back an unjust international law that pits you against your team, your supposed friends? Go to therapy, have a pint of ice cream, cry into your pillow, send her more of those strawberries you sent her in IM 2 that she’s allergic to. You don’t go trying to change international law in ways that could ultimately affect millions of people because your girl left you.

Honestly—and thank God they didn’t do this but—the only way the Pepper excuse works in excusing his behavior in any way is if she’d died. Or been severely injured like Happy in IM 3. Still wouldn’t be okay, but, like Quill messing up their chance to stop Thanos because Gamora died, it would’ve been more understandable. Understandable, not excusable, and the way the MCU treats their women as manpain fodder, we’re probably legit lucky we didn’t get this.

As for him wanting to help everyone. He does in fact want that, I think. The problem is that his need to feel like he’s doing that is stronger than his rational mind, or his want to actually help in a constructive way.

Tony is too smart. He’s dumb as hell in many instances, mostly involving people and relationships, but he’s also too smart, and he’s been told for too long that he’s smart, and he’s bought into it. Ultron. Suit of armor around the world, protects the world, no more alien threats. It’s a simple concept on paper that fails in execution. So there are people with dangerous powers. Okay, we’ll make a set of laws to keep them from being dangerous, problem solved. But again, it isn’t.

Tony is not used to problems he cannot solve. He’s a genius, right? He can fix anything. He should be able to fix anything. That’s how he feels. But not everything is zeros and ones and circuits, things that can be fixed mechanically like his armors can. The people he wants to protect are not built that way. But he needs to feel like he’s doing something, because he’s terrified of what happens to the world if he doesn’t. So he creates these simple solutions to complex problems. The suit of armor, the Accords. They sound good in theory, but the problems they’re trying to solve are bigger than they are. And Tony, way back in IM 1, he sat back for years, clueless that his weapons were being used for bad things. He says it to Cap in CW. When he found out what his weapons were being used for, he went in and stopped it. Whether or not he should’ve known that already is a separate issue here. The point here is that when he found out, too late or not, he went in and did something about it.

Tony needs to do something about it. Again, go back to Cap in AoU, Tony’s nightmare sequence. Steve asks Tony why he didn’t save them. Tony’s ultimate nightmare is that he sits back and does nothing, and his inaction causes everyone to die. Which is where you get Ultron. Something he came up with because of what he saw in space in Avengers 1, then doubled down on in AoU. It’s where you get the Accords. Oops, he caused someone to die, he killed Charles Spencer. Must do something about that right now so it doesn’t happen again, and he won’t have to feel this guilt. He should be collaborating with others to come up with solutions (no Bruce in AoU doesn’t count because Bruce was dumb there), or at the very least, taking more time to think through the repercussions of the things he puts out there. But he doesn’t, because he’s got his savior complex that tells him that he alone can and must fix this, and because he’s too dumb to realize how not-smart he is in certain areas.

“We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I’m game.”

Isn’t that what he says in CW, or something very close to it? Whatever form that takes. That’s the issue, right there, whatever form that takes. Realistically, yes, there should be laws regarding people with powers, the same way there are special laws pertaining to people who carry guns, or people who are licensed to fly planes. You have a thing/can do a thing that not everyone else does, so there are regulations pertaining to that thing. Laws change with the times, they always have. Some new technology comes up, eventually there will be laws that regulate it. As there should be, honestly. The issue with the Accords, Steve’s issue with the Accords, was not the basic idea. He says as much. He says that it could work, but there would have to be safeguards. Safeguards that are not in the Accords that Tony wants him to sign.

It's not a matter of oh, fuck the law, there should be no law governing these people, they’re above it. The problem is that the law as it’s presented here is unjust. There’s what, a month between Lagos and Ross coming by to tell them about the Accords? A month is not enough time to properly analyze such a big issue, Especially when you’re reacting out of fear, which is what happened with Lagos. People died because of an Enhanced person, an Avenger, in this case. Lawmakers don’t want that to happen again, they especially don’t want the political shit storm that comes with it. Damn, we look like we were asleep at the switch here, not having anything to throw at this problem earlier. Quick, let’s throw together this thing so no one can say we’re not addressing the problem.

Patriot Act of 2001, anyone? 9/11 happened, the public were rightfully terrified, the US said oh man, these are unprecedented circumstances, we’ve never had this before. Don’t worry though, we’re on this, we’re protecting you. The reality being that that bill simply gave the government too much power, most of it being used against people who were not actually threats, and it’s debatable, to say the very least, whether or not that law helped more than it hurt.

No law is perfect. No law ever will be. It’s not possible. We still have to strive for perfection though, have to aim there so that the laws we get are as close to fair as possible. Tony’s a big deal. If not for his “whatever form that takes” attitude, he might’ve been able to use his influence to pressure lawmakers into coming up with a fairer bill. Hey, I’m me, the public loves me, I will endorse this bill publicly and work on getting the rest of the team to sign, but you need to change this and this and this first, or no deal. Instead, he took the easy way out, the quickest, easiest way for him to feel like he’s atoned for his sins without actually doing anything. Whatever form that takes.

Tony’s not wrong because he backs the creation of a law that addresses these things. He’s wrong because he says himself that he does not care what that law does, specifically, so long as it exists. He’s wrong because he violates said law upteen times during the movie, while preaching to team Cap about what assholes they are for not backing it. He’s wrong because he cares more about feeling as though he’s tackled a problem than he does about taking the time to make sure that the thing he’s proposing is actually a good idea. He’s wrong because of what he does with Bucky, though that’s honestly a separate issue, for the purposes of this discussion.

Anyway, that was longer than I ever wanted it to be. Damn. Next time you see a comment about CW being the reason people stan Tony, just remember there are other people out there who stopped stanning Tony because of that movie. Everyone’s entitled to see a piece of media however they see it, and although the Tony stans are often the loudest, there are plenty of like-minded people out there who share your take on events. Block who you need to, unfollow who you need to, blacklist what you need to, and don’t let them get you down.

Hang in there, and have an awesome day :)

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are there any hobbies you have that you don’t perform in front of others? I like to do stuff like surveys, reading, coloring, scrolling through Tumblr, and watching YouTube videos by myself.

What’s one bad or inconvenient habit you used to have but no longer do? I can’t think of a bad habit I used to have, I still have plenty of them.

Do you find it difficult to kick a habit or a routine that’s detrimental? Yes.

When was the last time you had a particularly hectic day? My Disneyland vacation last year. I love Disneyland and had a good time, but the traveling part and spending all day at the park going all over the place is quite exhausting for me. That’s a lot of activity for me. Not to mention all. the. people.

Where’s one place you’ve spent a lot of time lately? I spend like all my time at home except for my once a month doctor appointment.

Is there anywhere you wish you could spend more time? I wish I could go on more vacations.

What do you do when you simply don’t know what to do? There are definitely days where I’m just really bored and my usual go-tos don’t cut it for me and the day just seems to draaag, but I end up still doing those things or mindlessly watching TV cause I don’t know what else to do. Or just take a nap.

When was the last time you felt you were in an impossible situation where, despite what you did, you couldn’t win? I’ve felt that way these past few years with health related things and other stuff in my life.

How did you find out about your current favorite band? I don’t have like a new current favorite. 

Where are you most likely to go when you need clothing? Majority of my clothes are from Boxlunch and Hot Topic.

Is anything significant weighing on your mood right now? The usual stuff.

When was the last time you tried to do something yet failed? I feel like I’m just failing at life in general.

Do you think your life is comprised more of success or failure? Failure.

What’s one personality trait that’s not strong in you? Ambition. 

Are you a difficult individual to get to know? I wouldn’t have said that a few years ago, but I would now. Well, unless you’re a follower of my surveys. I’m definitely not this open in person. Not that I was before, but what I think would make it more difficult now is the fact that I’m just so distant and withdrawn and have really just kept to myself the past few years. I’ve holed up at home and haven’t had an interest in socializing.

When was the last time you opened up to someone and about what? I open up in surveys all the time.

To whom do you feel the most important? My parents and brother.

When was the last time you changed your mind? Hm. It was probably recently, but I don’t remember right now.

Is there something you want but might not ever have? Better health.

What’s something you’re working to obtain? Nothing. That’s the problem. :/

How do you console yourself when you’re distraught? I cry and then try to distract myself. 

Do you tend to enjoy your dreams? My dreams are just super random and weird a lot of the time.

What would you do if you did not require sleep? Gah. I’m glad we do cause I have no idea. There are days that just seem to drag and I want it to end and sleep is a great escape and passerby, so yeah I’m glad we require sleep. I need that time to escape myself and stuff for awhile.

Are there any projects or goals you’ve recently abandoned? I did that a few years ago and still haven’t gotten back on track.

What in life serves to keep you going? My family.

How frequently, if ever, do you want to give up? I feel that way often.

What was the last good news you received? Uhhh.

What’re some of the important things around you? My family, which includes my doggo. 

How long has your favorite song been your favorite? I have numerous favorites. 

In what ways does music influence your life? It doesn’t, really. Especially lately. I don’t listen to music much anymore like I used to. It’s weird.

Are you more inclined to appreciate sweet or savory foods? Savory. Lately I’ve had a serious sweet tooth, though. I’ve been eating sweet stuff a lot more often recently.

Do you prefer more hot or cold types of food? Hot.

How about hot or cold types of beverages? Hot and room temp.

Who last told you to do something and did you do it? My mom asked me to grab her something on my way by it in the kitchen and I did.

Have you ever felt as though you were unrecognizable to yourself? That’s how I’ve felt the past few years. I don’t know who this person is I’ve become, but I don’t like it.

Are you bothered by any of your physical features? Yeah, all of them.

Are romantic relationships important to you at this point in your life? No.

Who was the last person to apologize to you for something they did? I don’t recall.

Bruises and cuts everywhere? No.

Have you ever kissed someone with a tattoo? Nope.

What did you do today? So far I’ve just watched a few YouTube videos, scrolled through Tumblr, and currently I’m watching Sister, Sister on Netflix and doing surveys.

What did you do last night? Had dinner and watched the first two episodes of Wandavision and an episode of Dare Me with my mom and brother.

Last night, you felt? Alright.

Will you regret your next kiss? I hope not?

Ever had a guy best friend? Yeah, a few.

Is there a movie you’ve seen countless times? Yeah, several.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No.

How is your last ex doing? I don’t know. I haven’t seen or talked to him in almost 5 years and he’s not active on social media. 

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? Nope. Is there someone who can always make you smile? My doggo.

Are you excited for anything? No.

Anything you’d like to say to your ex? Nah, I’m good.

Do you give up easily? I’ve given up in a lot of ways over the past few years. :/

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not of the romantic kind.

Did you deny or accept your last friend request? Deny. It was some random person and I only accept people I know.

Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight? No.

Are any of your friends taller than you?

How much money did you spend today? Zero as of now. I don’t plan on spending any money today.

Are you shy? Yepppp.

Are you completely over the last person you kissed? Yes.

Ever given your ALL to someone? Yes.

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? That is how I feel.

Last thing you had to drink? Water.

Do you ever just lay on the carpet in your house? No. I don’t find sitting or lying on the floor comfortable at all.

Do you prefer ice or no ice in your drinks typically? No ice.

Are you a lazy ass sometimes? Yes.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done lately? Nothing recent comes to mind.

Do you ‘think out loud’? Yeah, I do that a lot.

Do you take gummy vitamins? I used to. If I took my vitamins like I’m supposed to that’s the kind I would take.

How do you know the majority of the people you know? They’re my family.

Are you one of those lucky people to own a walk-in closet? Nope.

Is there a random object you own that has a huge personal significance? Yes.

Do you use Google? Yeah, all the time.

Would you like to go swimming right now? No. It’s wintertime for one, but I don’t like swimming anyway so it wouldn’t matter if it wasn’t.

Can you play electric guitar? No. 

Do you have an HDTV? Yeah, I have a smart TV.

When was the last time you drank something through a straw? Just a bit ago. I always use a straw with my drinks.

Have you ever tried to teach yourself a different language? Yes.

How long was your last phone call? Like a minute.

Do you need to repaint your nails? I have’t painted my nails in years.

Has there ever been a horoscope that came true for you? Possibly. I never followed that stuff closely or actually believed in them, I used to just read them for fun when I was younger.

Are you one of those people who chew two pieces of gum, not one? No.

Do you have a wall calendar? I do.

Have you ever taken the pictures from a calendar and used them as posters? I kept a giraffe photo from an old calendar and hung it up in my room.

Can you handle the cold? A lot better than I can handle the heat.

Have you ever been to Canada? Nope.

When was the last time you took a taxi somewhere? Several years ago while on a trip with a friend. It was before the days of Uber and Lyft.

Would you ever join the army, air force or navy? No. I couldn’t even if I wanted to because of my physical disability. 

How old is the person you last kissed? He just turned 30.

Is there a friend that you can always rely on to get you out of a jam? My mom.

Have you ever tried to balance the light switch between off and on? Yeah, haha.

Do you believe in ghosts/supernatural occurrences? I believe in spirits.

What was the most expensive thing you’ve broken? A laptop.

Has anyone texted you yet today? Nope.

Did you stay calm during the whole swine flu scare? No, I was really scared about catching it. It’s crazy cause now looking back it wasn’t even close to the seriousness of COVID and how easily its spread.

Is there a light on in the room you’re currently in? Yes.

Are your feet touching the floor? No, I’m sitting on my bed.

Have you ever been in a car accident? No, thankfully.

Can you focus well in high-stress situations? No. I get very overwhelmed and frazzled.

Without the aid of mascara, do you have long eyelashes? No. 

Is there a kind of music you listen to that helps you release your anger? No. I don’t turn to music when I’m upset.

Are you one of those people who keep their feelings bottled up? Yes.

Is one of your friends extremely odd but you love them regardless?

Is there anyone you dread going into public with? No. I dread going out in public myself cause I feel I’m trash and I’m super self-conscious. 

Are you a victim of writing run-on sentences? It happens sometimes in a survey when I’m really going off in a rant or I’m rambling about something.

Graffiti: an art or an act of vandalism? It can be both, it depends where it’s done and the purpose of it.

Do you buy things online? I do a lot of online shopping. 

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 2

'Beep' Harper sat up straight in bed, what? What? Owww headache, aw aw aw, she grabbed her head and slowly lowered herself into the cushions again, this hangover was gonna be brutal if the hammering in her head was any indication. Think of nothing, in fact let yourself slide into this refreshing and revitalizing little nap, you deserve it! You haven't got a massive amount of work to be done, oh no, little leprechauns are real, believe in their existence and they will do the painting for you, believeeeee! Her eyes shot open again, as a ringtone burst through her attempt at self-hypnosis, ignore it, ignore..it, it'll go away, she mumbled and quite content with her self-fulfilling prophecy, she leaned back as the phone stopped ringing, only to start up again 5 seconds later. “Why did I let him talk me into this?” she groaned as she got up to find the intruder buzzing and twirling around on her table, “Hello” she moaned in agony from her splitting headache. “Hey babe, it's me..Sean!” his quirky voice irritated her already, “Sean, hey, first of all, never call me babe, second, why are you even calling me?“. On the other side of the line there were a few seconds of silence, swallowing his dissapointment he stammered “well, I thought you would like to know that me and the boys just landed at LAX..” hearing him this way, made her cringe, she really didn't mean to rain on his parade, “anyway..how are you?” he barely dared to ask. “I'm ok, just a little hung over..” she said as she looked at her paintings “oh, I wanted to thank you for the webpage, I've got my first e-mail from a possible buyer last night” she quickly added, not wanting to sound like a total bitch. “That's fantastic news” she heard Sean get barely excited on the other side of the country, “It is, I just can't put a price tag on them though, so I was thinking..could you send me a list?” she bit her lip, she hated him having to help her with all this commercial and digital stuff. “Sure..yeah I'll send you the list by e-mail” he answered without too much enthusiasm, this was such a weird conversation “listen, I've gotta go now..guess you'll hear me when you'll hear me” by the end of that sentence, all kindness in his voice had gone, “yeah, ok..well..you have a great time, which I know you all will, just..take good care of yourself, you hear?” she quickly added, she wasn't good at goodbyes, not even when they were done by phone, they just made her feel awkward. “I will..bye” he sighed and disconnected the call, why did he even let himself think that she was actually gonna miss him? Or that she was even remotely interested in this big adventure that was about to start for him? All she could talk about was that damn work of her, nothing or no-one else mattered to her.

Jared opened his eyes, last night's conquest still next to him, what? Oh no no, this wasn't the deal, all those kind of women needed to leave before their scent could penetrate his sheets, he hated having to wake them up and tell them to leave, and with this one he didn't even remember a name, that's how uneventful last night had been. He pushed himself up from the bed and pulled the sheet away, the coolness of morning touching her naked skin woke her up “hey..” she mumbled as she squinted her eyes, “hey yourself, it's time to leave, I've got things to do, so I'm gonna go and have a cup of coffee and you'll be gone when I come back” he threw the sheet on the floor and grabbed his phone from the nightstand. He didn't turn around when he walked out of his bedroom, why would he? He had seen more than enough of her already, his phone vibrated back to life while he hopped down the stairs and into his kitchen, switching on the kettle he scrolled through his e-mails, until his thumb rested on the one of the painter he contacted yesterday, ah, maybe there was a price list that he added. No prices..goddammit, was he trying to stall things? He read the last e-mail again: 'what drew you to my paintings?', well that was easy!

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: Re:re Paintings

That's easy, they're refreshing and original, ultraclean lines, depth and a little surreal! So, how about some prices, say I would start with the smallest of the whole collection? Surely you can give me an indication of the price range?

If you're not on social media, are you at least registered with any galleries? Are you based in LA? The reason I'm asking all these questions, is because I can't find you anywhere on the internet, what does HC stand for? Henry? Horatio?

Impatient Regards

BJL

Just when she was about to get back to work, that damn phone bleeped again, oh..another e-mail..her fingers nervously clicked and scrolled.

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: Re:re:re Paintings

Thanks for the compliments! Am I based in LA? No painter or artists that respects him- or herself is based in LA, that city puts people to sleep, because it has no edge, no challenges, no electricity! That's why I'm living and working in New York, and no I'm not registered yet at any gallery, like I said my assistant is out of town, but if you want a price for N°1 (the smallest 'Baroque') you're looking at 500$.

Funny you should mention Horatio, because that is my Dad's name, and even funnier that you immediately think I'm a man, which I'm not by the way, but I'm guessing you are?

Regards,

Coco

Harper Coco was her real name, but she didn't really like Harper, she used to get bullied because of it at school, Sean somehow always called her Harper..and her Dad, even though she didn't know if he even remembered having a daughter, how long had she not spoken to him? 4 years? Ever since she decided that his aristocratic world was not exactly the one she wanted to live in and so she fled the nest as soon as she graduated from art school. Needing to push those bad memories away, she cranked up the music and crawled up her scaffolding, no external distractions allowed from now on, just the smell of paint in her nose, and some loud rock music in her ears was all she needed to forget about that ugly world outside.

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: What?

Hi Coco,

Great name! I totally get your obvious connection to the fine city of New York, I used to live there a long, long time ago, but your prejudice with LA is a bit unsettling, yes it's the capital of fake on the outside, but it's got a vivid art scene as well, it's a lot more laidback in many ways, yes, but that doesn't mean it's got no soul, because it does! For example, the film industry where a new star is born everyday and then there's the music industry, did you know that a lot of the best songs in history were written in LA? this city pushes people to live their dreams, and I think I'm living proof of what this city can do to and for someone!

500$ for that small painting? Deal! I would like to see what you're working on right now, so if you could send me some pics, that'd be great, oh and tell that assistant of yours to get his shit together, artists shouldn't have to sell their own work on top of everything else. Just give me his number and I'll have a word with him if you want!

Gotta run, so send me your financial details and I'll get the money transferred.

Horatio? Really? Now, that's weird because I googled Horatio De Robiano (I take it that is your last name, right?), just to check what kind of people I'm dealing with here, but guess what? Couldn't find anyone by that name either, do you even exist or is all your work done by some bot? Wouldn't surprise me, given how perfect those lines of yours are and how sweet your colours, it's almost too good to be true!

Oh, and since we're on a first name basis already, I'm Joe!

Real life regards

Joe

Ok, so he wasn't completely honest, Joseph, Joe, who cared if it was his middle name? At least it was closer to the truth than Bart Cubbins, and besides it gave him a sense of freedom, like he could write whatever he felt, he could be himself in these e-mails, not the actor or the singer everyone expected him to be 24/7. All content with himself he sat down with his cup of coffee while in the corner of his eye last night's failure came walking down the stairs, “I'll go then..bye Jay..” she slowed her step as she walked past the kitchen, hoping for..hoping for what exactly? That he would've changed his mind? That he would offer her coffee or breakfast? Duh! As if! “yeah bye” he mumbled as he kept his eyes on his screen, goodbye and good riddance, note to self: check with Shayla about the non disclosure agreement!

The rumbling of her stomach broke her focus, usually she ignored it and just carried on but this time it wasn't just her stomach but her mind too that just wouldn't calm down, ever since that last e-mail where 'stranger' mentioned her father, her mind just kept rehashing those last few weeks and days that led up to her leaving with slamming doors. She leaned back a bit to turn down the blaring radio before she almost jumped down from the scaffolding to have a look, oh yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! Sharp lines, great colours, she grabbed a cigarette and lit it. The more she looked at it, the prouder she was of herself, don't get too euphoric yet though..oh what the hell, this called for a little celebration, besides she could do with some fresh air and with some distance from her work for an hour or two so she grabbed her jacket and her bag and hopped on out the door. The cold New York air hit her as she walked to that cute diner a few blocks down, half of New York was rushing to get out of the cold, while she only enjoyed it as it blew the tiny remains of her hang over away. Suddenly she felt a weird vibration coming from the bag on her arm, oh this was going to be perfect, hot soup, her favorite sandwich and hopefully a new e-mail to read from that mistery buyer, life just couldn't get any sweeter right now and her feet shared the same opinion as they picked up the pace so she could sit down and finally read what 'stranger' had written.

[blahandwhatever]

So the landlord’s ‘HVAC guy’ came this morning. He was old and not very sharp. He followed me in quietly as I briefly refreshed him on my concern. He unscrewed the vent from the ceiling, motioned me over, and said, “go ahead.” I’m like.... wat? I thought you, the professional, had come here to inspect this for me? He said I could take a picture inside with my phone. After some fumbling around with the positioning and flash settings, I managed a couple of okay pictures. The duct appeared free of animals or feces, save for the small question mark of the unilluminated black void at the end of the tunnel. The guy shrugged along to my cursory assessment and said the noise had probably come from the roof or attic. The vent was covered in black dirt. I went and washed it, and he screwed it back on. The only insight he could provide on the nature or origin of the dirt was that it was “from the air.” The internet suggested the possibility of mold. Inside the duct there was some white powdery-looking stuff. The internet again suggested the possibility of mold. I wondered if a duct cleaning would be warranted. He nodded along halfheartedly, though he doesn’t provide that sort of service. The landlord agreed to call some professionals that can do an actual job. Our underwhelming bit of work left me with a stuffy nose.

On the way out the man complimented the cleanness of my home. Hoho, I thought - if you only knew how filthy this kitchen floor was last night before I quickly went over it with a Swiffer because you were coming - or how dirty the counters still are, disguised by their darkness and busyness. As much as I tend to hate pressures caused by others, in some cases they can be a good motivator to finally get done things I’ve been procrastinating on.

Meanwhile, in his various leak repairs, the maintenance man had to take apart the sealing job he had done on the ceiling of the laundry closet on account of the cigarette smoke, and afterward covered things back up in a slipshod manner as is his wont. Wanting to seal things up a little better before my new, taller washer-dryer arrived, I went to the Home Depot for some foil tape. I had a remarkably hard time finding it, circling around and around the store, the online product categorization leading me to a dead end. When I finally caved and asked for help, it was just around the corner - for a moment I wondered if the guy hadn’t heard me or had chosen to ignore me because he just kept walking where he had been walking and stopped after a few feet. And there it was.

Another thing I’ve had a remarkably hard time finding is peace lilies - once ubiquitous - to replace my dead and dying ones. Despite all my failures, they’re still one of my favorite houseplants, and they’re supposed to be hardy and low-maintenance, and damn it, I’m determined to make them work.

The queen of my botanic realm, however, is the glorious English ivy cascading from my windowsill. I’d always wanted a plant like this, but they’d never survived at my parents’ house. I picked this one up at Jewel amid a flurry of shopping the day after I moved, and it has flourished practically effortlessly ever since. A few of its leaves have now withered, though, and today I did a lot of research on caring for this plant, and even here the experts can’t all seem to agree on all the factors. I did learn that aerating soil with chopsticks is a thing, which gives my superfluous stockpile of chopsticks (they only came in a set of 200) an extra use.

Today I suffered the other side of the sleep quantity coin, but it wasn’t as bad as yesterday’s, and, aided by a couple of semi-naps, I found a modicum of wakefulness by the evening. By now, however, I’m all petered out and late for bed.

[alqariyah]

I was tagged by @successaesthetics​ thank you!!

Game rules: answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (or however many you feel like lol)

LAST: 1. drink: ice lemon tea 2. phone call: my sister 3. text message: to my friend about how pissed i was about something 4. song you listened to: Down by Fifth Harmony (it was on the radio) 5. time you cried: uhh it was probably while reading a sad news article tbh

HAVE YOU: 6. dated someone twice: i get very confused with what people consider dating tbh but no, i think? 7. kissed someone and regretted it: lol i regret 80% of my life decisions 8. been cheated on: only by the government 9. lost someone special: haven’t we all :/ 10. been depressed: yeah 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: i don’t drink so no :D

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. Black, green, teal.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yes!! some pretty good ones too <3 16. fallen out of love: idek tbh 17. laughed until you cried: honestly i’ve also just done this like, 4 days ago 18. found out someone was talking about you: OH BOY YEAH AND SHE WAS SPREADING LIES TO MAKE HERSELF LOOK GOOD 19. met someone who changed you: not entirely? 20. found out who your friends are: oh man, yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: lmao yeah

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know: i make sure i know everyone i add and sometimes i don’t even accept the requests of people i do know but am not close to 23. do you have any pets: I HAVE MANY CATS, half of them are missing but they’re still my cats y’know. atm i have 4: Lea, Gigi, Sagwa and Mot! 24. do you want to change your name: nah, i like my name as it is 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i had to do stats work on SPSS lol that wasn’t fun (and then the aforementioned person who talked bad about me took credit for it and said i didn’t do anything which is a blatant lie) 26. what time did you wake up: 10.30am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fanfic 28. name something you can’t wait for: to go back for my final year of undergrad! and to go to Malta with my friend! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like, 15 minutes ago? 20? 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: lol my anxiety bc it keeps me from doing so many things just bc of the possibility of failure or looking stupid 31. what are you listening to right now: surprisingly not playing any music even though i normally would be 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: do i know a Tom? I don’t know if i know a Tom... OH i have an admin worker in my school whose name is Tom so yes I have! 33. something that is getting on your nerves: when people use ‘triggered’ for literally anything like??? this makes it so much harder for people to talk about their actual triggers can you please all just stop????? 34. most visited websites: tunglr.hell aka this hellsite

LOST QUESTIONS: 35. mole/s: like,,, did i lose a mole? or do i have any? i do have moles. several tbh 36. mark/s: i’ve got a birthmark on the side of my knee! 37. childhood dream: i wanna go to space tbh 38. hair color: jet black. darkest shade there is.  39. long or short hair: just below shoulder length! i might get it cut again soon tbh 40. do you have a crush on someone: only celebrities that are too far away sigh 41. what do you like about yourself: uhh i’m stupid loyal when i get attached to people, and i guess i’m aware of my personal growth a lot? 42. piercings: not a single one since my ear piercings closed up (health thing so i can’t get piercings but i’m not mad) 43. blood type: A positive! 44. nickname: Shar 45. relationship status: single and loving it 46. zodiac: sagittarius! 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: SENSE8 AAAAAA 49. tattoos: i would but like, i’m afraid of commitment lmao 50. right or left hand: right-o! 51. surgery: not to my knowledge? 52. hair dyed in different color: yesssss i’ve done brown, green and ash grey! but only half my hair, not the entire thing 53. sport: i literally lose my breathe when climbing stairs, i don’t do sports. 54. where’s 54 (<–lol this threw me off at first but I’m leaving it) 55. vacation: i’m going to Sabah (Malaysia) soon! not looking forward to the plane ride bc i’m taken so many recently but we’re going water rafting!! 56. pair of trainers: got myself a pair of black adidas superstars and i need no other in life

MORE GENERAL: 57. eating: i last ate frozen yogurt (but like, with caramel syrup on top lol) 58. drinking: now i’m thirsty 59. I’m about to: take a nap i’m so sleepy 60. stop skipping numbers, dear author, it’s cheating  (,<– lol again) 61. waiting for: the world to get better 62. want: can someone just plan and sponsor my travels omg, also a first class for my degree would be nice as well as funds to continue my studies 63. get married: fine if i don’t tbh 64. career: psychologist

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: i don’t like either v much, though hugs are fine depending on who from 66. lips or eyes: eyes! 67. shorter or taller: i’m short enough as it is so gimme the tall 68. older or younger: older? 69. COME ON IT REALLY IS CHEATING. at this moment is what, 89 questions to answer you lying duck 70. nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS ARMS ARMS 71. sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: neither please, let me live in an apartment with cats 73. troublemaker or hesitant: uhh neither

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nope 75. drank hard liquor: nope 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope god forbid 77. turned someone down: idk? 78. sex in the first date: lol nope 79. broken someone’s heart: probs? 80. had your heart broken: nope? 81. been arrested: nope 82. cried when someone died: oh man yeah 83. fallen for a friend: eh idk

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: not as often as i should 85. miracles: occasionally 86. love at first sight: not really 87. santa claus: nope 88. kiss on the first date: not for me 89. *coughs* 88 questions

OTHER: 90. current best friend name: Sam! we celebrated our 10th anniversary 3 years ago holy shit what 91. eye color: dark dark dark brown 92. favorite movie: uhh Pacific Rim? Mad Max: Fury Road? wow how do i choose

uhh i shall tag @stawbeestudy and like, anyone else who wants to do this tbh!

[malaiseofdyingrelationships-blog]

Dear Class of 2010, This will be my last entry written specifically for you; beginning with the launch of our new site in early September, I’ll begin focusing on the future class of 2011. I hope that you guys won’t be strangers; stay in touch either in person (come visit us!) or online (please drop by the blogs from time to time and say hi). As you begin your college experience, and I prepare for my 10-year college reunion, I thought I’d leave you with the things that, in retrospect, I think are important as you navigate the next four years. I hope that some of them are helpful. Here goes…

Your friends will change a lot over the next four years. Let them.

Call someone you love back home a few times a week, even if just for a few minutes.

In college more than ever before, songs will attach themselves to memories. Every month or two, make a mix cd, mp3 folder, whatever - just make sure you keep copies of these songs. Ten years out, they’ll be as effective as a journal in taking you back to your favorite moments.

Take naps in the middle of the afternoon with reckless abandon.

Adjust your schedule around when you are most productive and creative. If you’re nocturnal and do your best work late at night, embrace that. It may be the only time in your life when you can.

If you write your best papers the night before they are due, don’t let people tell you that you “should be more organized” or that you “should plan better.” Different things work for different people. Personally, I worked best under pressure - so I always procrastinated… and always kicked ass (which annoyed my friends to no end). ;-) Use the freedom that comes with not having grades first semester to experiment and see what works best for you.

At least a few times in your college career, do something fun and irresponsible when you should be studying. The night before my freshman year psych final, my roommate somehow scored front row seats to the Indigo Girls at a venue 2 hours away. I didn’t do so well on the final, but I haven’t thought about psych since 1993. I’ve thought about the experience of going to that show (with the guy who is now my son’s godfather) at least once a month ever since.

Become friends with your favorite professors. Recognize that they can learn from you too - in fact, that’s part of the reason they chose to be professors.

Carve out an hour every single day to be alone. (Sleeping doesn’t count.)

Go on dates. Don’t feel like every date has to turn into a relationship.

Don’t date someone your roommate has been in a relationship with.

When your friends’ parents visit, include them. You’ll get free food, etc., and you’ll help them to feel like they’re cool, hangin’ with the hip college kids.

In the first month of college, send a hand-written letter to someone who made college possible for you and describe your adventures thus far. It will mean a lot to him/her now, and it will mean a lot to you in ten years when he/she shows it to you.

Embrace the differences between you and your classmates. Always be asking yourself, “what can I learn from this person?” More of your education will come from this than from any classroom.

All-nighters are entirely overrated.

For those of you who have come to college in a long-distance relationship with someone from high school: despite what many will tell you, it can work. The key is to not let your relationship interfere with your college experience. If you don’t want to date anyone else, that’s totally fine! What's not fine, however, is missing out on a lot of defining experiences because you’re on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend for three hours every day.

Working things out between friends is best done in person, not over email. (IM does not count as “in person.”) Often someone’s facial expressions will tell you more than his/her words.

Take risks.

Don’t be afraid of (or excited by) the co-ed bathrooms. The thrill is over in about 2 seconds.

Wednesday is the middle of the week; therefore on wednesday night the week is more than half over. You should celebrate accordingly. (It makes thursday and friday a lot more fun.)

Welcome failure into your lives. It’s how we grow. What matters is not that you failed, but that you recovered.

Take some classes that have nothing to do with your major(s), purely for the fun of it.

It’s important to think about the future, but it’s more important to be present in the now. You won’t get the most out of college if you think of it as a stepping stone.

When you’re living on a college campus with 400 things going on every second of every day, watching TV is pretty much a waste of your time and a waste of your parents’ money. If you’re going to watch, watch with friends so at least you can call it a “valuable social experience.”

Don’t be afraid to fall in love. When it happens, don’t take it for granted. Celebrate it, but don’t let it define your college experience.

Much of the time you once had for pleasure reading is going to disappear. Keep a list of the books you would have read had you had the time, so that you can start reading them when you graduate.

Things that seem like the end of the world really do become funny with a little time and distance. Knowing this, forget the embarassment and skip to the good part.

Every once in awhile, there will come an especially powerful moment when you can actually feel that an experience has changed who you are. Embrace these, even if they are painful.

No matter what your political or religious beliefs, be open-minded. You’re going to be challenged over the next four years in ways you can’t imagine, across all fronts. You can’t learn if you’re closed off.

If you need to get a job, find something that you actually enjoy. Just because it’s work doesn’t mean it has to suck.

Don’t always lead. It’s good to follow sometimes.

Take a lot of pictures. One of my major regrets in life is that I didn’t take more pictures in college. My excuse was the cost of film and processing. Digital cameras are cheap and you have plenty of hard drive space, so you have no excuse.

Your health and safety are more important than anything.

Ask for help. Often.

Half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at any given moment. Way more than half of you will be in the bottom half of your class at some point in the next four years. Get used to it.

In ten years very few of you will look as good as you do right now, so secretly revel in how hot you are before it’s too late.

In the long run, where you go to college doesn’t matter as much as what you do with the opportunities you’re given there. The MIT name on your resume won’t mean much if that’s the only thing on your resume. As a student here, you will have access to a variety of unique opportunities that no one else will ever have - don’t waste them.

On the flip side, don’t try to do everything. Balance = well-being.

Make perspective a priority. If you’re too close to something to have good perspective, rely on your friends to help you.

Eat badly sometimes. It’s the last time in your life when you can do this without feeling guilty about it.

Make a complete ass of yourself at least once, preferably more. It builds character.

Wash your sheets more than once a year. Trust me on this one.

If you are in a relationship and none of your friends want to hang out with you and your significant other, pay attention. They usually know better than you do.

Don’t be afraid of the weird pizza topping combinations that your new friend from across the country loves. Some of the truly awful ones actually taste pretty good. Expand your horizons.

Explore the campus thoroughly. Don’t get caught.

Life is too short to stick with a course of study that you’re no longer excited about. Switch, even if it complicates things.

Tattoos are permanent. Be very certain.

Don’t make fun of prefrosh. That was you like 2 hours ago.

Enjoy every second of the next four years. It is impossible to describe how quickly they pass.

This is the only time in your lives when your only real responsibility is to learn. Try to remember how lucky you are every day.

Be yourself. Create. Inspire, and be inspired. Grow. Laugh. Learn. Love. Welcome to some of the best years of your lives.

[lovemesomesurveys]

you ever played “call of duty”? did you like it? are you into those types of video games at all?   Nope. Those aren’t the kind of video games I’m into. If I’m going to play a video game, which is very rare, it’s most likely going to be something Mario related.

do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook? Well, I’m not a cook, sooo. I like when my family cooks or when we go out to eat. The only thing I’m good at is making a good bowl of Top Ramen, haha.

do you have any clocks in your house that chime when the hour changes? do those types of clocks annoy you?   Yes. We have one of those bird clocks that make a sound every hour. We’ve had that clock since I was a kid.

what is your usual hair style? do you tend to wear the same style every day, or do you switch it up a lot?   My usual hair style is just throwing it up in a bun, honestly.

have you had the same doctor pretty much your whole life, or have you went to a bunch of different ones over the years? have you ever been to the doctor thinking something was horribly wrong with you, but it turned out to be something minor?   Well, I had one main doctor who took care of just about everything from the time of my accident until I was 21. It was a children’s hospital, so it was nice because everything was done in one place. He was the one who referred me to other doctors if needed and took care of everything. After 21, I got a new primary physician who I rarely see and I’ve also been to a few others for other things since then. I also currently see two different doctors quite regularly. I’ve seen many doctors in total throughout my life.

I always think something is horribly wrong with me, and sometimes there has been and sometimes there wasn’t. As many times as I’ve been to the doctor, I still don’t do well with it.

are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into hot topic)? are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to?   Not that I can think of.

do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? how many mirrors are in your house?  I really try to avoid them, honestly. I look in one if I’m doing my hair, makeup, and brushing my teeth, but otherwise I try to avoid them. Sometimes if I’m walking by one or a reflective surface, I may take a quick glance but I don’t look at myself in front of a mirror for long. If I do, I just notice all my insecurities and they seem magnified so I’d rather not.

what do you think is the greatest invention of all time? why? are there any inventions you wish had never been made?   That’s a really tough one. I mean, advancements in technology has been nice and convenient, but when they don’t work or malfunction it can be a major pain. Plus, you don’t want to be overly dependent on it or have it get to the point where it outsmarts us. We’re not too far away from that, honestly. So, it can be a good and bad thing for sure. I guess what I’m trying to say is when used in the right way, it’s great, but it can also be used for malicious things.

are you proud of yourself? do you feel that you’ve accomplished (or will accomplish) the things you want in your life? what other person are you the most proud of and why?   I don’t feel proud of myself. I feel like a major failure. I feel like someone who completely succumbed to my health and let it take over. I feel like I let people down, especially myself. I was more determined and hardworking and motivated at one point. I lost that somewhere along the way and now I’ve been stuck for so long not knowing what to do. I feel like I’m wasting my life away.

I’m most proud of my younger brother. I admire him a lot. He’s very hardworking, driven, intelligent, motivated, and ambitious. He has goals and he’s working towards them. He’s very responsible and studious. He’s social and outgoing. He not only goes to school full-time, but he also works. I definitely didn’t feel like I could handle doing both. We’re so opposite in a lot of ways, and while he’s my younger (much taller) brother I find myself looking up to him and wishing to be more like him.

did you ever have a terrible roommate? what did they do that bothered you so much? I’ve never had a roommate.

if someone has a problem with something you’ve done, do you prefer they confront you directly? why or why not? when you’re the one who needs to tell someone about a problem, what’s your method of doing so? I would prefer that they come to me directly instead of talking behind my back or letting it go. I wouldn’t intentionally do something to hurt someone, so I would want to know so that I could make it right or clear things up. Plus, I want people to feel like they can come and talk to me. I just would hope that they did so in a calm, mature manner and not in a blunt, rude, confrontational manner. I’m not a confrontational person. I’m pretty easy-going and would like to hear them out and be heard as well.

do you like the color gray?   I don’t not like it.

is it possible to love someone if you don’t love yourself? I mean, I love my family even though I don’t have much love for myself. In the romantic sense; though, I think the issue would be that I don’t think I  could give my all to someone. I’m not what I would be able to bring to the relationship, you know? I don’t want my issues to cause issues between us. I would like to try and sort those things out first. 

do you believe happiness can exist without sadness? No. You can’t have one without the other. You wouldn’t know what happy was if we didn’t have sadness. You wouldn’t know any different if that’s all there was.

what hospital in your area would you most recommend for good treatment?   One of the bigger ones like UCSF.

who is the best person you’ve ever “met” online? I’ve had a few friends online over the years that were great.

who is the most versatile actor ever?  Hmm. I don’t know.

do you ever nap and wake up and forget what day it is?   I feel a little dazed and confused at first sometimes, but then it all comes back to me. That’s only if I was like in a deep sleep or napped for a long time. Especially if it was light out when I went to sleep and then dark out when I woke up.

what was your maternal grandmother’s first name? Lupe.

what was the last video message you received on your phone?   I’ve never received a video message.

would you kiss someone you didn’t have feelings for? No.

what would your dream engagement ring look like? I don’t have a dream engagement ring idea. It’s not something I’ve thought about.

is someone hurting you mentally at the moment? No.

do you feel like no one understands you?   All the time. I don’t even understand me.

have you ever attempted to drown yourself? Nooo.

would you rather deal with all your emotions at once, or none at all?  That’s really hard. I don’t want to be completely emotionless. That’s part of what makes us human. Although, I do sometimes feel like a robot or zombie just going through life on autopilot. Where I just feel... nothing.

what’s the best sex scene in a movie you’ve ever seen?  I don’t have like a favorite sex scene. I don’t pay much attention to them.

is pornography evil or are you neutral about it? I don’t think it’s evil, but it’s not something I particularly like.

do you prefer to be monogamous, or are you more a casual dater or swinger? I’m monogamous. Especially at my age, I don’t want anything casual or a friends with benefits type thing. I’m over and past that stuff.

does your pet wear a collar? Yes she does. what is your favorite song in “the sound of music”?   “A few of my Favorite Things.”

what would you do if your mom/dad saw a hickey on you? My dad would laugh and me and make dumb jokes until it went away. My mom would probably not mention it. <<< It’s the opposite for me. My mom would tease me about it and my dad wouldn’t mention it. It’d be awkward and I would just cover it up anyway because I wouldn’t want anyone to see it, honestly. you’ve just had an argument with the guy you like, and you walk away. do you want them to leave you alone?   I would for the moment, but I would hope they would care enough to try and reach out. have you ever read any self-help books?   No. do you thank the bus driver? I always did.

have you ever had your heart broken?   Yes; twice.

when was the last time you flirted? It’s been a long time.

are good-byes easy or hard for you? If they’re like permanent goodbyes then it’s hard. whatcha listening to? Currently, nothing. what do you feel about our president? Sigh.

do you remember the song, blue (da ba dee) by eiffel 65? Yes. if you told someone how far have you have gone with the opposite sex, how would others view you? I really haven’t done anything, though.

do you have a secret that you’ve never told ANYONE? Yes.

would you care if your last ex fell in love with someone else? I would. I hate that I would, but I would.

what’s something you really want right now, be honest?   Right at this moment I’m ready to eat.

were your parents married when they had you? Yeah.

are they married now? Yes.

would you marry someone 30 years older than you if they had millions? I wouldn’t marry for money. how long were employed at your last job? I’ve never had a job.

if you found out you were pregnant who would you tell first? The father.

what did you do when you hung out with the last person you kissed?   We had lunch and then hung out at the mall.

do you prefer online classes or real classes?   I preferred “real” classes, but liked when the work and tests were done online.

do you like documentaries? have you ever watched one and find it boring? Yeah, if they’re about something I’m interested in.

if you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or pothead?   Neither.

do you hate your ex?   No.

do you like kids?   Sure.

are your eyes the same color as your mom’s or dad’s? My mom’s.

do you think too much or too little?   Too dang much.

does anyone know your facebook password? Just me.

have you ever seen the last person you kissed without their shirt on?   No.

…what about their pants? No. did you ever rip off a barbie doll head? Nooo. I loved Barbies, I wouldn’t do that. how many people have you slept with (sexually not actually sleeping)?   0. do you have any sort of ongoing health problem? A few. are you a teenager and yet want a baby?   I’m not a teenager and I don’t want a baby. would you date a guy with a prince albert?   I mean, it wouldn’t be a deal breaker.

do you think you are a hick?   No. have you ever told someone to their face that they were ugly? No! have you ever swallowed a watermelon seed?   Probably. And guess what? Despite what you may have been told, a watermelon didn’t grow in my stomach. Haha.

what would be worse - going out in public with no bra or no panties? For me, no bra. would you ever let your child drop out of high school?   No. We could look into other alternatives like individual study or home schooling or something, whatever worked best, but not completely drop out. Actually, I had two cousins that opted to test out of high school and finish their high school credits at a community college. They were still able to graduate and get their high school diploma, but done differently. Almost kind of like being home schooled in a way.

honestly, do you think that inner beauty is as important as outer beauty? It’s more important. A good personality can make a person beautiful and outshine their outer appearance, and a bad personality can make a person ugly despite how they look on the outside. do you pronounce “aunt” like “awnt” or “ant”? Like “ant.” have you ever seen wayne’s world?   No. what was your favorite video game as a child? Mario Brothers. list five things you’re currently thinking about:   1. I’m hungry.

2. It’s hot.

3. I don’t feel well.

4. My back hurts.

5. I’m tired.

is the last person you kissed a virgin? No. have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?   No. what was the last video you added to your favorites on youtube? I forget. do you have any morbid interests? I don’t think so. eat breakfast or skip it? I just have a donut or a package of mini muffins with my coffee. favorite disney channel show? I was a Lizzie Mcguire, That’s So Raven, Hannah Montana kind of girl. do you believe in jesus?   Yes. would you ever get a tattoo in a “naughty” place?   No. are your ears gauged? No. is there a band you like that many others dislike? which? I don’t know.

do you play pokemon go?   I had the app and played it like twice. are you a bad influence?   I don’t think so? be honest. have you had any dirty thoughts today? No.

honestly, have you ever danced naked?   No.

is smoking pot a turn off?   No. have you ever scared yourself?  Yeah. I’m easily scared. on facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings?   No. is it ever okay for a woman to ask out a man?   Wow, really? How dumb to even ask that. how important is it for a significant other to be good with kids? It’s nice. I don’t even know if I want kids myself, but it is cute to see a guy be playful and silly with kids. If anything, it just shows to me that they have a goofy and gentle side, and that’s what I like. when did your last relationship end? Like four years ago. did your father go to college? Yes. do you plan on going to college?   I did and graduated. ever seen a burning building in person? No. do you like gore? Not too much. do you own any choker/collar necklaces?   No. I don’t like stuff that snuggly around my neck. did you have a “scene” phase?   I had an emo phase. how often do you shave your legs, if at all? why do/don’t you?   Like never because thankfully I never had much of an issue with hairy legs. The hair doesn’t really grow much there and what does is very, very light. Plus, I wear pants all the time anyway. are you dressing up for halloween this year?   I doubt it. I haven’t been into dressing up the past couple years. I used to. were you ever obsessed with the jonas brothers? Yepppp. do you ever feel like life is going by too fast? In a broad sense, but the day to day feels slow.

do you pay for your own things?   Not everything, but a lot of things. have you ever gotten in trouble on the internet?   No.

honestly, have you ever had lice? No. do you think it’s possible to be in a long relationship without having sex?   For some people, yes. where did you last bleed from and why?   A wound I have. has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? No. what do you like most about making out? All of it. have you ever had a guy put his hand in your shirt? Yes.

what is the last thing you stapled? 

 Papers? Ha. who was your first prom date?

   I didn’t have a prom date. I went with friends. have you ever been slapped in the face?

   No. have you ever touched a snake?

 NOOOOO. are you lonely? I do feel that way sometimes. do you like condoms? I would find them necessary if I were having sex. are you good at editing pictures? 

 I guess.

are you any good at public speaking? 
   No.

would you have kids with the last person you kissed? No.

have you ever thought of making love in a dressing room? No. do you know anyone who tries to steal everyone’s boyfriend?   No.

do you appreciate raunchy humor? If it’s also clever, yeah. <<<< Same.

have you ever looked up porn on the internet? No. did you ever try cutting yourself? Yes. do you like to tell people who you like? I don’t go like parading it around, no. Well, unless it’s Alexander Skarsgård. haha. ever been institutionalized?   No.

ever hold a newborn animal? Nope.