#posts that have. hmm. 20k to me

[thelivingautomaton]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Alan Wake (Video Games) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Alex Casey (Alan Wake), Rose Marigold, Alan Wake, Saga Anderson (mentioned) - Character Additional Tags: Coffee, seriously this fic has so many references to coffee, and Alex Casey's debilitating coffee addiction, Mid-Canon, Blood and Injury, just a quick intrusive thought courtest of the Dark Presence. sorry Casey, Angst and Humor, gets a little cheesy at the end but gdi I just wanted to give Casey a moment of peace, Rose is a literal ray of sunshine who dispels the darkness with her very presence, Casey's thoughts drift not infrequently back to Saga, the reader is welcome to interpret that however they best prefer, Casey has eleventy-seven thoughts running through his mind at any given time, and puts voice to maybe five percent of them, as tersely and laconically as possible, Casey also swears like a sailor, long-winded endnotes are my trademark Summary:

“Rose Marigold. Pleased to officially meet you, Agent…” She trailed off, looking at Casey expectantly.

“Special Agent Alex Casey, FBI,” Casey rattled off without thinking – and almost immediately regretted it.

(or: Alex Casey's terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day makes a collision with the local lamp lady.)

lol okay technically this went up last night but i keep forgetting that cross-platform promotion is like...a thing? so here it is for all you (est) morning peeps

this fic has everything: rambling inner monologues strewn with parenthetical digressions! a healthy mix of absurdism and earnestness! alan nearly getting bonked over the head for doing absolutely nothing! stephen king references! the author getting to show off their minutiae of trivial knowledge! COFFEE! please enjoy <3

[kaesaaurelia]

My mom's spent a bunch of time arguing with me about how I should be a lawyer and I keep telling her I fucking hate arguing and conflict and the fact that I'm arguing at all is being used against me. :\

Also she keeps insisting I could do it because I'm sooo smart. There's thousands of lawyers out there who are dumber than me, that isn't the issue, the issue is do I have the temperament and how much more can my mental health take.

[nightdiary]

last night's story (jake) – preview

word count: estimated 15-20k genre: surfer!jake, friends to enemies to lovers, angst, attempt at humor, fluff, eventual smut author's note: the odysseus concept demon got my ass. i cannot get surfer jake out of my mind so this was born .. whew! let me know if you'd like to be added to a tag list for when this is released <3 FULL STORY HAS BEEN POSTED!

summary: lured by the prospect of earning a couple extra bucks for the summer, you head north to man your aunt's surf shop on australia's sunshine coast. it's a visit that reacquaints you with everything you've been running from– old friends, abandoned memories, and one unforgettable jake sim.

“You should come watch me at the state titles next week,” Jake leans over the counter, propping himself up on his elbows and fixing you with an impish look. The movement sends a few droplets from his fringe landing by your hands, and he sheepishly apologizes before reaching out to wipe them away.

Instinctively, you want to reach out and shove his forehead with your fingers, but you have to remind yourself that this isn’t the same Jake you’d grown up with. Whatever you’d once had was left decaying in the past.

“Sure,” you say, ignoring the nagging warmth in your chest. Feigning nonchalance, you busy yourself with tapping on the checkout screen of the iPad, if only to give your hands something to do other than to fidget with your shirt. “Me and how many other chicks?”

Jake laughs good-naturedly, but the momentary lapse of insecurity in his voice isn’t lost on you. You feel guilty for just a moment, but don’t allow yourself to dwell on it. As you finalize his order on the screen, you look up to find Jake already looking back at you, almost expectantly.

“Your total’s $270.59.”

Jake’s face falters the slightest bit, but you don’t think it’s because of the ridiculously high price. “Does that factor in the ‘good friend discount’?”

The phrase makes something sour flood in your mouth, and you resist the urge to scowl. The receipt machine prints out his total, and you rip the paper out with more force than admitted necessarily. You nearly slam it down on the counter in front of Jake, peering up at his shocked face through your lashes. “Yea? What’s my favorite color, Jake?”

Noticeably taken aback, Jake’s confident demeanor slips away as easily as a receding wave. He stutters around his next sentence, and you try not to let your satisfaction show as you open the register. Jake looks down as he counts through the bills in his wallet, pulling out several and passing them timidly across the surface. “Uh–, well, hmm. Something… blue? Wasn’t it blue?”

“I hate blue,” you spit the lie out a bit too quickly, and hope Jake can’t see right through you. You accept the bills you’re handed with pursed lips, slipping them into your register and handing back the few cents you owe him.

“You don’t,” Jake answers immediately, not bothering to reach out and pocket the change. “You love blue. That light seafoam shade you see on the shore. Used to say it reminded you of summer.”

Despite how much you want to disagree, your throat feels all dry and your eyes are stinging and you don’t think you can bear to look at Jake much longer without saying something regretful. But something about letting him think he still knows you makes your fists clench and gut boil.

“People change,” you say with an air of finality. “I changed. You changed.”

Jake takes his bag and steps back from the counter with the expression of a kicked puppy. He looks back at you like he wants to say something, something long left untouched, and you resist the urge to hide behind your counter and stuff your ears with cotton.

You feel naked and vulnerable– like Jake has carefully stripped away every last layer of your defenses and he can see the rotting remains of everything you didn’t say. You hate how he looks at you, like he knows exactly what’s going through your mind and the inner monologue you’ve been fighting since you first met him. Like he still knows you in and out, despite moving away and changing every last bit of yourself that reminded you of him.

“Thanks for shopping with us,” the smile you give him is anything but warm, and you shut the register with a bang that echoes around the shop. “Have a good rest of your day, Jake.”

likes and reblogs greatly appreciated ♥

[drippingmoon]

Merry new year to everyone, again! 🥳💞🥂

I know it wasn’t an event this year, but writing a yearly wrap-up is really therapeutic, you know? So I decided to continue the tradition, and if anyone wants to join me, absolutely view this as an open invitation^^ Introduction is over, and now let’s see what 2023 looked like:

(spoilers: I adored it. I'm also probably going to make this my fixed post, in case anyone ever wants to catch up with me. And also because my second baby, AoS, is growing, and it doesn't have an intro, but I can't leave it out.)

Stats

Aquiver, Aglow: 181k (draft 4) + 195k (draft 5) + hmm, draft 6 is an outlier, because I didn’t rewrite from scratch, so I’m unsure of the written word count. I didn’t change much from draft 5, so I’d say an extra 15-20k. Total word count: 376k+

Remains of a Night: 120k 

Aberration of Sunlight: 134k

This was definitely my most productive year to date. And I got so hungry: the more I wrote, the more I just wanted to keep writing, and honestly? I’m proudest of myself for literally carving writing time whenever I got a spot into my schedule. Mostly it was from 8pm-11pm, but I had a mad run where my only free window was from 1am till I literally felt I was dying… I’ll talk about that separately🤣🤣👌

Though, I'm seriously understating it.

Like a lot of other people, I would have all these hours when I was younger when I didn't have anything to do, yet I'd still find some excuse not to write. "I'm waiting for the right time." "I'm anxious I'm not going to get it right." "Tomorrow! Tomorrow I can start right from the morning, and I'll have more time to write, yeah?" or "I'm too tired now, it's late..." and so the snowball rolled down and downhill and I found every reason under the sun not to write, now that I think about it. Sigh. So much time wasted. But I can't regret it either, because I needed those baby steps at that time.

And now! Now I do what I thought I'd never learn to: I prioritize, and I actually organize my daily stuff so it's not so impossible anymore to have a little bit of writing time. I don't take it for granted either. It feels like such character growth for me, I'm immensely proud of it.

And for the record? This year was a huge improvement over yesteryear mentally, too. It turns out, what I needed to get over my word count anxiety… was to be faced with people who literally didn’t give a fuck about it, and just cared about the story. One of the most unexpected things beta stage managed to do to me… was to quench all my anxieties. It’s as simple as that. I read and enjoy very long books. People also do that. So, I’m very happy to say I’m no longer in a tizzy about ‘quiv. It might kill my chances for trad publishing, it might not. I’ll be happy come what may.

Because it’s so simple how working on ‘quiv or thinking about it makes me joyous, and now I can just enjoy that freely. I will miss writing this story so much. I really will. But at least I’ll have it forever to reread, and I hope this thought brings comfort to everyone who also has problems letting go, like it does to me.

Let’s break it down a little, shall we?🤩

Aquiver, Aglow◇◇◇

My little star of the hour. How fond I am of it.

Like you could glean from above, ‘quiv went through three drafts this year. More specifically: in the first part of the year, practically almost as soon as February arrived. I knew it was getting closer to the final version, and gave me the push to finish all three back to back. I couldn’t justify anymore the bazillion AUs I do with rewrites (basically, WHAT IFs from events, WHAT IF it went this different way, WHAT IF Tyrone actually said this here… and so on and so forth. I wanted to test out as many pathways as possible, and did I exhaust every one of them in existence? Definitely not. I don’t think that can happen, you just keep getting new ideas. On and on. What happened, instead, is that these couple different pathways, at some point, cemented themselves as canon in my mind. I didn’t want to tease myself with alternatives anymore, and that’s when I knew they would be it. Some bits from the first draft, some from the third, some from the second. Some were even draft 6 originals!

It’s a bit of a weird process. I definitely didn’t need to reach draft 3, and meet Mezusa, because I could’ve feasibly made it work with just Yles in the story. It still would’ve made sense, though in a different way. But if I hadn’t… I might’ve missed one of the best characters I’ll ever probably have created, and the story (and Yles) is much stronger for her, if you ask me. 

For that matter, yes, full rewrites every single draft might take a lot of time and effort, but honestly I don’t think I’d ever change my writing process (save for the moments of frustration when I think I will lol) because of the sheer satisfaction of it. Whoever said so long never to settle on the first version, I owe you a beer and probably some curses as well lmao, but very lovingly. You shaped my writing life.

I don’t have much else to share about ‘quiv, other than it’s off with my beta readers my beloved, and maybe a tentative promise that, if anyone wants, you’ll be able to read this precious ball of hope of mine relatively soon. This story is so gentle to me. And as much as I loved to write and work on it, I dearly hope that whoever decides to give it a go, is treated just the same. That’s the only wish I have.

I also don’t know if I’ll go trad or self-published. Instincts say trad, because I fuckin’ suck at marketing (fact), and I know I’d grow resentful if I’d have to put so many hours into advertising when I know I could instead… write. I’m a writer. That’s the only thing I know how to do. Trad, however, might not be as kind on a ~200k as life’s been, so I might not have a choice. If it comes down to that… I’ll just treat it as I do everything. I don't love this story any less if I just write, publish without a fuss, hope that maybe, just maybe, a reader or two will stumble upon the story and we could talk. Maybe we can have the fun of our lives, create some genuine connection. I know that’s applies to a lot of writers. I hope we can accomplish it.

And so, I’ll finish this section of the wrap-up with a kiss to my ‘quiv, for all the warmth it’s ever brought me. It’s come so far, I know it can live distinct from me from now on. It brings me great comfort. And I look forward to the times I’ll reread it, and we can relive our best experiences together. Never thought I’d get to this point. Thank you, ‘quiv.

Remains of a Night♤♤♤

Mwhahaha! And because ‘quiv took all the pressure, this left AoS to be an extremely fun and spirited experience. Literally the chillest I’ve ever been writing. In many ways, it’s more my thing than I expected ‘quiv to be: I get to murder characters left and right, it’s more plot-heavy and banking on the tension created by a creature that horrifies the characters down to their marrow, but still the only way to defeat it is to know it better, which, uh, might have unpleasant consequences for them. It’s got chase and stealth scenes, and it always shoots me with adrenaline to think about them. In short, exactly my jam.

It’s not a new book, nope. You knew it before as Aberration of Sunlight, but from the get-go I felt it would be bigger than ‘quiv. Very fortunately for me, I had a place where to break it, and behold: there’s RoaN (book 1), and AoS (book 2). There might be a third book, which I dearly hope not because titling sucks, but it depends on the Sycamine arc. More on that in AoS.

One last thing to note, before we delve into the story (hoo-ray for earlier drafts, because I can talk more frankly about them). This is the culprit of my 1am writing adventures!!😫❤ My schedule became too packed, then NaNo came round and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to honor how AoS began, because it was last year’s NaNo, aaand I’m happy to say I won NaNo, somehow, with 56k down before I died. At that time, I only had one section left to write (from both books), otherwise, hahahaha, yeah, it wouldn’t have flown. Still, most of draft 2 I’d written in September-October, with my fairy lights, late nights, and cups of hot cocoa, exactly like how life should be<3

Alright. We’re going through them chapter-by-chapter again, exactly because I love seeing the titles so much:

ACT 1

Cracked Visor, Scorpion Grass

I did it! I did! Twas another shower thought I managed to get down in time. Bare broken sentences, but they did the impossible, and arranged this chapter into a structure I adore to bits and won't ever change. (And 'quiv's naughty voice left me alone for once and I could write it properly!) While I don't think I'll ever be happy with a first chapter (not as a concept, but the writing — part of me will always wish that the reader just had all the information already lol), this one is in the right place.

It pays its respects to the story of the broken helmet at the foot of a spaceship, and how it reconnects Madigan with all the people who'd suffered from being tethered to the planets when they yearned to fly, but the Beast punished them cruelly for it. It makes him feel phantoms of their efforts. The tone is exactly what I needed this story to start from: melancholy and numbly hopeless, against the backdrop of the Beasts's echoed cries.

Rain Through the Universe

Unlike 'quiv, because RoaN and AoS are way more plot-heavy, it's not as easy to change things willy-nilly (whereas 'quiv was all about character bonds and dynamics). As such, it's very similar to draft 1. Because of that, I'll frankendraft next (select and combine drafts 1 and 2, rewrite to connect them) and afterwards I'll try something I've always wanted to. (Scrivener keeps hinting at it!) I'm gonna split the chapters into scenes, and focus on those individually and how I can just rewrite them and set their purpose in stone<3 I'm excited!

As for the chapter itself, gods, I love the atmosphere. Just the wreckage of a sundered ship, and Madigan’s sudden madman appearance making a lasting impression on Spica, because how could it not. They no longer answer distress calls in that age, it just means more dead bodies. In fact, they're forbidden to. Madigan instead brings him what he himself lacks: hope. And a lot of crawling around while dreading the Beast's lambent eye opening, and oh my, the moments are really flying by😈👏 extreme fun for me as the writer.

Aberration of Light

If you remember, the books follow two timelines, which will connect at some point. The first and main one is Madigan and Spica’s story. The other is Holloway’s, in the distant past of that universe, and who’s been dubbed the most selfish man in existence. That’s important, because of how the Beast came to be. But that becomes important later. For now, a weird-ass new recruit has joined the ship, and the witchy crew will very soon start making bets if she’s the Beast in human flesh, which really wouldn’t bode well for their future.

Night Falls On Their Reflection

Draft 2 became Spica’s draft. It was high time. He didn't exist in the original idea beyond chapter 2, but he refused to die with his story untold. And now he's one of the most independent thinkers I've ever written. Now he's Madigan's son (yes, even at 25), best friend, back-to-back partner all in one, and I could watch the trust and mutual respect between these two forever. To be sure: Madigan comes up with the dumbass plans, and Spica's only too happy to follow him through everything (it is good fun.)

He's repaying the incredible kindness Madigan's shown him when answering his distress call, after all.

But it goes a bit further than that, doesn't it? Madigan is used to watching over myriad people. He's the Superintendent of his planet, and while he genuinely loves people, kindness is his default. It doesn't go further than that for him. He doesn't necessarily think people need, much less desire his presence there beyond Madigan extending help, and most of the time, he's content with that. Kindness does make him happy. And it should be the same with Spica now, shouldn't it? He's kind, but he's not Spica's family, nor ever will be. Yet he immediately feels a connection with the boy, that has nothing to do with bonding over escaping-a-cosmic-disaster. And so does Spica.

This is the moment when Madigan starts feeling guilty, for stepping where he should not. But here's the beauty of Spica's character: he's nothing if not dead sure of his own feelings, and what he sees with his eyes. It's okay if Madigan keeps unexpectedly taking steps back. For very long, there'd been nobody to support Spica's beliefs. So he does the same, as when he followed his heart to go into dead space: he believes in himself and Madigan, and that their paths aren't meant to diverge. They mean too much to each other for that to ever happen.

(In short, and legend says you can still hear me screeching about these two ten thousand years later, I love these two so much, and especially the parallels between Spica going alone into outer space and loving Madigan.)

(And, okay, obviously all these developments don't happen in a single chapter, but I couldn't stop gushing🤭🥰.)

Who Puts These Tombs in Ice

Overall, I think draft 2’s Luitgart performed worse than draft 1. Mainly it's the setting I want to revert (still an icy, sempiternally dark hell, but with different ice constructions) because some of the beats are a huge improvement, and again, I gotta combine the two. Otherwise, I’m still as obsessed about the Luitgart arc as I’ve ever been, and huge thanks to it for being so strong it could function as an ending of its own, allowing me to split the book.

Gettin’ into spoilery territory, but I have to un-kill Madigan so many times it leaves me in hysterics. That was what I was supposed to fix this draft. It got worse. Considerably.

(One constant: the chapter being a love letter to Madigan, and how his first answer will always be to help the other, no matter if they deserve it or not<3 and finally, finally, he gets acknowledged for it, and the favor returned.)

ACT 2

Lemon-Dotted Days + Remnant

Two Holloway chapters! I’m actually massively pleased with how they’ve turned out. Last year, I said the main issue was that I had an outline, and that never works for me. So I did what I do best and rewrote everything from scratch, and the result is both uncanny and… unexpected.

Unexpected, because I never in my life thought Holloway’s voice would make me laugh so much. He’s supposed to be unsympathetic, but then you get his interactions with Saintlark (the new crewmate, possibly Beast) where they’re contemplating the harvest of a nebula, and he’s harshly critical of it, which gives Saintlark hope… only to go deadpan One Moment Later: if they’d used the nebula to prolong their lives instead of bolstering the war, they wouldn’t have died like clown idiots. 

And, they could’ve maybe stolen immortality from the nebula. They would've had to share it with him, of course. Or he would've murdered them to get it.

That, my guys, is his personality in a nutshell.

I have a lot of feelings on Holloway now, and most involve me huffing and slapping my forehead while groaning, but oh my gods. Was it ever so fun. And wait, wait, wait. Since I'm talking of humor (apparently a lot of comedy fit into this horror lmfao) I have to show you guys the following section🤣🤣👏:

Corpse Snow

The drifters are set howling on the ice. They share glances, five separate vehicles nodding at each other. Madigan revs up the engine, splitting the air with a jet of steam and vibration.

The last of the marines are climbing into the box. A figure flashes past Madigan’s drifter — and he leans over, teeth grinding because of his ribs, and he does his very best to grab someone by the back of their suit and pull. Workout days were never his strength, though. He only succeeds in stopping them in the frost smoke.

It’s Spica dangling from his hand, expressionless.

Lieutenant Hahn instantly seizes on the situation. He throws Madigan a long, withering look. “Whatcha doing, Boss?” he asks softly, about to unhinge his jaw again.

Madigan nudges Spica into the drifter. “Picking up your boy.”

Spica gets the hint and deposits himself into the front seat, glancing from his father to his Superintendent. He seems to give up on whatever’s going on, and makes himself cozy in the frosty spot. And Madigan, of course, pretends not to notice Hahn’s drifter sliding closer.

“And you didn’t consider I might want to have my son with me?”

Madigan looks up and sighs. “Lieutenant, dear Lieutenant,” he starts pleadingly. “Why won’t you show some leniency to a poor, wounded man?”

Hahn’s drifter stops, summoning a breeze across the icy floor that gently rocks the other vehicle. His breathing distorts the comms with static. “And what exactly is my son right now?”

“My trusty navigator,” Madigan answers easily.

“Sir’s emotional walking stick?” Spica pipes in at the same time.

They both look over. Spica’s quietly turned to the navigation, as serene as daylight, seemingly oblivious to how Madigan's expression changes, lightning-fast. He quickly hides it under the guise of a polite mask, as the marines stir and turn their attention on them. They’re snickering.

Lieutenant Hahn throws up his hands, giving up on everything.

This is also the first 30k chapter I’ve ever written. It's everything I've ever wanted to do with ice.

Heart of the Void

The end of the book. Originally, it was the ending section to Corpse Snow, but since it already got so ungodly long, I chipped off that bit and I have to say I’m very happy with how it works as an epilogue! So it ends the frosty, weary journey, and I can’t see the two books as separate yet, but here we bid goodbye to the first.

Aberration of Sunlight♧♧♧

I did the unthinkable and created a fifth arc. This might not seem like much to you, but I was screaming bloody murder you guys😭😭😭. Sigh. It’s so sigh. For so long, AoS consisted of four clear-cut acts, but it was necessary. With the introduction of Sycamine, and making it two books, it was just needed. It’s still one of the worst things I’ve ever done because I was used to four😃💔

(The chapters continue from where RoaN left off – from chapter 10, to 21.)

ACT 3

Retro Spectrum

Sycamine, oh Sycamine. Definitely the break I needed before Days in Darkness. It made for a really neat beginning. It’s calmer, focusing on the knowledge they have on the Beast. It’s also a reflection on Procyon (their main star) and the story of the two straggler dog constellations, and what they'd been running away from. I liked the direction it took. It veered away from the Beast for a bit, so the tension kept expanding in the background. And when it returns, well... maybe they shouldn't have been so eager to see it again🤭.

It suffers from the same syndrome as draft 1’s first chapter… it’s there in the vicinity of the idea, but too much to the left. Not bad for a first attempt. The setting annoys me – I really don't enjoy writing cities, and AoS didn't change that. So, for our next try, I was thinking... maybe we don't need to be on the planet, but up close and veeery personal with it. It's a secret❤.

And, oh gods. I put a moustache-twirling villain in this. And then I couldn’t stop myself from naming some sucker Sweetman Calories. I don’t know what happened to me during those days, but I’m crying🤣🤣🤣.

Toast to the Light

Holloway and Saintlark’s story is slowly coming to an end. Unexpectedly bleaker than draft 1, yet it feels much more sincere. Holloway has a way of saying everything Saintlark needs to hear. No surprise. They did that to themselves.

Dissonant Recognition

Ahhhh, the Madigan-is-slowly-losing-his-grip-on-reality chapter, or maybe he should really stop staring into the suns. One of my favorites<3 Also because it features Moren (!!!) who has a blast staying in the grey morality area, because she doesn’t know if her actions could ever matter, or if she could change anything. Does she just exist? Is she a player or just pawn? Who knows. Besides that, she gets along great with Spica. They form such a teasing duo, the level of mutual respect they felt for each other on sight was a delight to write. My favorite ally of theirs, even if her destiny lies elsewhere.

Night Beneath the Elevator

Best title hands down, dethroning Solgesis. I’m going batshit crazy about the visuals, it's exactly my thing. This half-light slanted over an elevator waiting in a rundown basement to be boarded. And there's something underneath it, and always has been. Something insidiously creeping up and waving its tendril fingers at you as you're just waiting for the fucking thing to ascend. Immaculate, guys, I'm telling you, and I'm cursing my hands because I can't make a wallpaper of this. I want to eat that atmosphere.

Time-sensitive missions, y'all.

And why the heck did nobody inform me I was going to add Command as an actual character and have them talk with Madigan?! That entire convo, made up entirely on the spot but somehow with a direction, made me realize what an idiot I’d been for not doing it sooner. They mean so much to Madigan, after all.

(And Mariya. So much Mariya in these chapters.)

ACT 4

Loop System

Like Who Puts These Tombs in Ice, draft 1 might’ve done it better. Not Spica and Madigan, though, because of the sheer development Spica’s been through and the dynamic he’s managed to form with the crew. It's different from Madigan’s, but similar enough that it’s got Hahn commenting lightly: [Spica’s] picked up quite a few habits from Madigan, hasn’t he? Almost as if they’ve gotten very very close, huh? How about Madigan tell him more?

(I adore writing Hahn.)

Outreach

Another Holloway chapter. Doesn’t have the punch of the kids subplot from draft 1, but this just makes it worse for Saintlark personally, because, this time, the consequences are on her.

Days in Darkness

I knew the moment I first got the idea this would be my favorite chapter. Well, it finally happened in draft 2: when the entire crew is here, this time, and ready for the final countdown, to relive the experience of being trapped in a ship that's disintegrating. No more heroes left behind. I'd been so tired writing this chapter in draft 1, but this time around it was incredible. Everything went up sharply from here, both in terms of events and how on fire I was.

(Maybe less than the gorgon, but I was.)

ACT 5

Echo Terminal

The first of the two log chapters.

I've never written smoother, more visual chapters than in this period. Days in Darkness changed me so much, I was writing day and night by this point and couldn't get enough. Well, I hit my limit in the second half of the very last chapter, but I am beyond satisfied. Even the Beast's metamorphosis took me by storm, because I'd been wondering what the final verbs, the final images, the final design for it was going to be. I didn't expect it to come to me this early, and with such thrill. Those were my very best days of the year, and I toast to them.

(And I knew it was going to be fantastic when Halo's Warthog Run OST started blaring in my head, with as much adrenaline.)

Where, Now? + Solgesis

My beloved. The second and last of the two log chapters, but it’s Noelle Saintlark’s log.

Holloway’s timeline ends here. Or maybe it just gets carried into the future. I thought I’d want to rewrite his parts again, make the plot just a tiny bit more psychedelic and nonsensical because it’s so close to the Beast… but Solgesis put all my fears to rest. Even the formatting and layout is a bit of that special thing I’ve always wanted to try, and it really changes the perspective of the previous chapters. There's a new confession that stands at the heart of Holloway's stories.

Honestly, the only thing that needs urgent working on is the anger at the end of the chapter.

Anger is so hard for me to write sometimes. Not because I don’t connect with it, but because I feel self-conscious writing it. The wildest I felt it was when I tackled 'quiv's chapter 3 and Imera's Turning speech, both in quick succession (before I'd even written draft 1. I'd been taking notes.) Since then... I just thing back to how keenly I'd felt that anger, and I kind of intimidate myself out of it. Kind of like a natural resistence, I quench it from myself. Which is actually hilarious when you think about it. It’s like I’m going I BANISH THEE FROM MY BRAIN because generally, as a person, I dislike feeling and operating on anger. But no worries. I’m going to find a way around it.

Watch me😎.

What Goes Around…

(Now it’s the time for me to start crying some rivers, and, alright, it won’t be visible so I’ll say it: the chapter titles are holding a conversation, guys. They speak to each other. And sometimes it’s both sides of the same coin, like how What Goes Around (comes around) hints here. If you take two chapters, one from the beginning and one from the end (for example 1 and 21) it'll tell you a little secret. Okay, What Goes Around and Rain Through the Universe communicate through their plot, which I can’t spoil but of course it has to do with Madigan and Spica and how they first meet… but there is one title pair that does it best visibly. 

Lemon-Dotted Days and Days in Darkness.

And I hadn’t even planned this. All the parallels I wanted to draw… I feel like they built themselves, guys. They really did, and it makes me so wildly happy I don’t even know how to stop my hands from flailing.

And, with them being 21 chapters, they meet in the middle, on the one unpaired chapter.

Called Toast to the Light.

I friggin’ love everything.

New Sunrise, Forget-Me-Right

Of course, Forget-Me-Right is a play on Scorpion Grass. But it’s also such a gentle name for the chapter, because everything ends here. Lying on their backs, staring out into the universe, and it really, really is over. Just a dark horizon on which stars flare and bloom. And suddenly, that maddened rush to make every sacrifice count, to remember every soul they’ve encountered because the legend says the Beast absorbs you when it kills you – all that suffocating pressure dissipates. Lightness remains. Because they’ve protected each other.

For the first time in my writing journey, blood rushed to my head with such emotion I had to stop writing, which never happens. I had to look up and exclaim, holy fuck. But how could I not, considering how the story ends for the Beast? I am speechless. A lot of gorgeous surprises this draft.

Conclusion□●□

Whew, what a year it's been! As for how 2024 will probably look like, though I don't like making plans: finishing the beta stage for 'quiv, and tackling RoaN and AoS's draft 3. Thaaaat one I'm actually starting on Christmas, when I can (finally!!) reread draft 2 with my mug of hot cocoa (or maybe mulled wine for a change) and, no surprises here, I'm hyper stoked for that<3 <3 <3 I legit can't wait to see where the new draft brings them. I might not have set any expectations for them, but they're vying to keep up with 'quiv and I adore it🤭❤

As for my lovely friends... well, you know by how I spam your tags how much I adore you and wish you happiness forever🤩🥺🥳 I don't know what my activity will look like in the near future, so for now I won't be saying anything, and my semi-hiatus continues. Semi, because you're unforgettable and I crave to see what everyone's been up to and (!!!!) what you've written!

So let's meet in 2024 again, and all the best wishes to you, the reader🥰🥂❤.

[vinelark]

fic writer meme

thank you [checks notes] @megafaunatic, @cairoscene, @englishsub, @yuebings, and @cafecliche for the tags ilu

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 15! which is solidly 14 more than i ever expected to have on there when i made the account

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 277,844

3. What fandoms do you write for? on ao3: mdzs/cql, tgcf, shl, and dc. in groupchats/dms/my own head i’m running wild all over the place

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 🐉 this river runs to you 💍 i’ll have you and you’ll have me 🪐 i will be chasing a starlight ⚔️ you’re the trouble that i always find 🌊 a wave crashes to shore

5. Do you respond to comments? not often; i have made multiple attempts to start replying regularly but all have eventually failed in the face of me desperately wanting to show my earnest and genuine appreciation for each comment vs. wanting to hide my blushing face under a pillow every time. also, because of who i am as a person, each time i sat down to do it i ended up spending hours making little progress and eventually decided that i will make an effort to spend those hours writing or commenting on other fics instead. i am honored by each and every one though!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? while i tend to write angst it is always firmly of the “with a happy ending” sort. the one exception is my shortest fic (originally posted on twitter) never been away so long, which is more of an ambiguous/open ending with implied angst. i dooooo outline the eventual happy ending in the endnotes, though. also as it CURRENTLY stands buy back the secrets ends on one hell of an angsty note, but there are two more chapters in the works to fix that.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? despite the wangxian star trek au having like 20k of deliriously happy post-misunderstanding sex, i think trrty has to have the happiest ending because not only does the fic end happily, but there are also multiple very happy codas in which wwx gets a good night’s sleep, finally gets to bang his dragon boyfriend, and, my personal fav, one by aubreyli where wangxian go flying in a thunderstorm.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not so far, for which i am grateful but mostly lucky.

9. Do you write smut? occasionally; on ao3 there’s the aforementioned trrty coda, plus the aforementioned cowritten wangxian pon farr sequence 💪

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you have written? hmm, i’m not opposed to crossovers—i’ve read some really fun ones (recent fav crossover read here)—but i’d have to be really compelled by both source materials and have a very clear vision for how they interact to want to write one myself. i’ve written a few fandom fusions (aforementioned wangxian star trek au; i also started a wangxian dragon age au but again, no dragon age characters were going to show up, just the world/setting) but no full-on crossovers. i did have one partially drafted wangxian fic that was going to have a hua cheng deus ex machina, alas.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i’m aware of! it’s not something i really go looking for/concern myself with, but so far, like with fandom hate, i’m grateful to not have encountered it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! my wangxian wedding fic was translated to russian.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? i co-wrote seventy thousand words of published fic with @feyburner! and probably two hundred thousand words of unpublished fic and outlines and story ideas just for fun. even when we aren’t co-writing we tend to talk through our individual fics with each other so we’re pretty in sync when it comes to writing. i also spent like a year in @cairoscene’s DMs concocting whole outlines/zerodrafts for batfam fics together that i still cherish and reread (notable favs: tim drake ella enchanted au, concept where the waynes are cursed to suddenly feel nothing but apathy about tim and he has to deal with that, story where robin!tim gets de-aged and oops red hood is the first one to show up…). i’d say the OCBFEU is fic-adjacent and cowritten by a group of us. also shoutout to the mdzs threadfic @cafecliche and i brainstormed/zerodrafted where lan qiren gets cursed into an owl and post-cql wei wuxian is the one who unknowingly saves him.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? oh yeah it’s [loud truck goes by]

15. What is a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? cyborg!wwx…i still think of you fondly. the only ao3 fic i’ve ever posted knowing i probably wouldn’t finish it but wanted to share just for fun.

16. What are your writing strengths? pangs… mining little character details for humor (or, more often, for more pangs)… i also think i’ve really improved my action writing/pacing over the last few years.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i write actual drafts/prose fairly slowly, which can be frustrating for me. also like @yuebings i often get very caught up in trying to perfect one small part of a draft before moving on. ummmm describing outfits/settings for reasons other than immediate plot-relevant details, i’m terrible at that + remembering to do it—i literally make myself do a What Are We Looking At Here Pass while revising sometimes.

18. Thoughts of writing dialogue in another language in fics? i’m not totally sure what this question is asking tbh, but it’s something i think can be done incredibly well—and, like with many things in storytelling, it’s the sort of thing where if you don’t actually speak the second language you need to be willing to put in work beyond a cursory google to try to achieve what you’re doing, and be willing to admit if it’s beyond your capabilities. i really like how the portuguese dialogue in bbts ended up and that’s 100% because @tigerjpg translated it for me and also already understood the scene/concept/characters; without them i would have found a different way to approach that scene. also, stylistically, i personally like when dialogue in other languages isn’t italicized unless there’s a real reason for it to be.

19. First fandom you wrote for? oh it was [a second loud truck whooshes by]

20. Favorite fic you have written? right now it’s bbts, because i think it’s also the fic i’ve had the most fun writing. trrty, though, will always hold a special place in my heart.

and i tag! @tlumeti, @burins, @smilebackwards, @bonesbuckleup, @hearteyeshayley, @sonosvegliato

[aeithalian]

……you MUST know I want your director’s cut thoughts on a shard or two lol xoxo MJ/kiwiana-writes (my kingdom for asks from sideblogs)

OOOOH hehe hello MJ i keep seeing you pop up reccing a shard or two and just know that every time i see it, i send up a little prayer that your pillows are cold on both sides.

ANYWAYS (most of my followers on this blog aren't RWRB fans but who cares) a shard or two is definitely a weird fever dream of a fic. I read the entire book in like 24 hours (this was just before the movie came out, so less than a year ago) and I, having a strange interest in politics, was like 'hmm, you know what? not enough politics'. So now we have a shard or two. I've always had a interest in politics and I always felt weird about being that person who has a strange in-depth knowledge about the US government, but I think writing the fic helped me think about politics in less of a pessimistic way, like 'here's what I would want to see in modern-day politics'. It also kind of raises the philosophical question of how good people function in a corrupt system without being corrupted themselves, and Alex is such an interesting character to play with on that front because I view him as so idealistic that he refuses to be corrupted purely out of spite and stubbornness.

So, that's how it got started, I think. I told myself I wasn't going to start another WIP while I have one going for a different fandom, but here we are. I originally intended for it to be way shorter than it was (here I was thinking last October that 20k was an insane length for chapter 1, and then chapter 3 ended up being 100k all put together), but it's been such a fun passion project and a real stress-reliever for some reason, and a great way to develop my writing. Somebody in the comments asked me if I write professionally (I do not, and I likely never will, but I appreciate the sentiment).

As for director's commentary, I'm just spitballing here but I have so much fun stuff to share so here ya go.

I know there's this whole debate in the fandom about whether or not Alex goes into politics post-canon, like either go into local politics or start his own firm or whatever, and I generally don't see a lot of people saying that he would go into upper-level politics like he does in the fic. Very rarely do I see any post-canon fics that delve into what Alex's future career might look like if he ran for any office, so I kind of just did it myself, as one does. I do remember seeing CMQ say on their Instagram that Alex wouldn't run for president, but he might run for governor of Texas, but I kind of pulled a Harry Potter fandom and ignored the author (sorry not sorry), but I did make a reference to it early on in chapter 3 for anybody who's looking for any easter eggs). Regardless, it's very fun writing a Gen Z politician who gives no fucks (Alex is Gen Z, I'm taking no critiques on this). I'm so excited for people my age to start running for office. We're going to kill it, I feel it in my bones (you won't catch me up there, but maybe in some health policy behind-the-scenes work, who knows).

The names for the characters were a ton of fun to come up with, and I tweaked them all the time, but here are some tidbits behind some of them:

Edward McKinney's (opposed the amendment in chapter 2 and was Alex's opponent for the Democratic nomination in chapter 3) last name is a play on William McKinley (the 25th US president) to kind of bring this mindset to the table that McKinney is exactly who your stereotypical politician is who would run for president.

Pinkley's name is also a reference to Charles Pinckney, who ran for president in 1804 and 1808 as a Federalist. For no particular reason. I was just having fun with it.

Treacher's name actually comes from the word 'treacherous' because I originally intended for him to be way more of a villain than he ended up being, because I thought it would be interesting to have a political opponent who isn't necessarily an enemy.

Aksel Wolter's (the guy who overthrew my man Onderburg for the Baltonian presidency) name was originally going to be Signe Wolter, but then I saw a cool TikTok that compared some enemies throughout history and saw how similar their names were (George Washington & King George, Jesus & Judas, Obama & Osama, etc.) so I thought it would be cool to have an Alex and an Axel, but the spelling was too similar so that's how we ended up with Aksel because that's also a way it's spelled in northern Europe.

Erik Onderburg's (you know who he is, RIP 😈) original name was Henrik, and that got all the way into the published version of chapter 2 (he's mentioned towards the end), and then when I was writing the first scene of chapter 3 and realized that Henrik and Henry were way too similar, I had to change it.

Ellie (full name Elena) is named after Ellen, with a bit of a Hispanic twist. I think Alex and Henry's deal was if they had a girl, they'd name her after Ellen, and if they had a boy, they'd name him after Arthur. I like to think the middle name would have been Orion either way.

Hunter Weaver (the in-universe replacement of Anderson Cooper) has nothing to do with WASPY Hunter. That was a total coincidence and completely unintentional. But, hey, if you want to believe they're the same person, go for it.

All the research in there is legit! Wikipedia has been a fucking godsend for election results and facts about government structures outside of the US, but it kind of sucks trying to relay stuff into two decades in the future. You never know what kinds of issues are going to be important in 20 years, so I actually kind of avoided that problem by just relating it to some of our current issues today: queer rights, specifically in trans communities, election fraud, 3rd party candidates, human rights issues (ikyk) and so on. And the makeup of NATO, the UN, G20, etc. haven't changed because I can't see into the future.

I also had to do a surprising amount of math? Trying to figure out dates and stuff was way more difficult than I anticipated, especially for election results and percentages, but I realized I really don't need to pull out my TI-84 calculator for a fucking fanfic, but I'm also terrified of the prospect that somebody will correct me on any of my math or research so the calculator stays. It makes for some funny moments, though, like when I realized that if Alex actually ran in the 2040, he would really have Teddy Roosevelt beat for the post of 'youngest president' by, no joke, 3 weeks. So that's kind of fun (and how I firmly decided to have that be the timeline of things).

I write most of the speeches the characters give myself, but I use chat gpt to get me started sometimes (the product is always pretty bland, so it's really just a reference for structure), but I use real-life speeches for reference too. For example (and a bit of a sneak peek), in chapter 4, Alex is giving a speech to the UN General Assembly, and I lifted a couple phrases directly from one of Obama's speeches.

Writing this fic on google docs was a terrible decision. When i was writing chapter 3, the entire word count was well over 160k and the software was getting so laggy every time I needed to control f something for reference. So chapter 4 and beyond is currently being written in a new google doc. Speaking of which, having to switch all my formatting over onto ao3 with chapters this long is a pain in the ass. 0/10 do not recommend having to go through each chapter and fix the formatting every time just because I wanted to have fun little article inserts.

I was going to make it smutty and then i chickened out. i deeply apologize for my cowardice (i've never done smut before).

I guess if you want a couple sneak peeks for chapter 4, I can do that too 😜

If this next chapter had a motto, it would be "every president has their tragedy". Yes, that should probably scare you. (honestly, I'm a little nervous to write it too, just because I know it's pretty dark but hey, if Disney can show Mulan killing 2,000 Huns in an animated children's movie, then I can tag this as mature and not be worried about traumatizing people, okay?)

If it had a theme song, it might be 'Fourth of July' by Sufjan Stevens or 'Abstract (Psychopomp)' by Hozier. (Don't be scared, you'll be fine, because if the chapter after that had a theme song, it would be 'Dog Days are Over' by Florence and the Machine)

So, all the chapters are titled with 5 stages of career development (completely arbitrary, I worked off Indeed's for a while and then I said 'fuck it'). Stage 1 was Establishment, stage 2 was Maintenance, stage 3 (spanning ch. 3 and 4 on ao3) was Advancement. So stage 4 (ch. 5 on ao3) will be Obstruction, so take that how you will. But stage 5 (ch. 6 on ao3) will be Resolution, so that should make you feel better. They're sister chapters, so although the conflict itself is resolved in chapter 4, the lasting changes and long-term effects of that conflict will be mostly featured in chapter 5 (which, honestly, is the one I'm most excited to write because I feel like it's that moment when Alex really grows into himself).

And a little fun knowledge just for you: there's actually going to be a stage 6 (ch. 7, on ao3). I was going to surprise readers by adding on a chapter after I publish stage 5 with a 'psych! you thought this was over, suckers'. Stage 6 is titled 'Reflection', so I'm planning for it to be about how Alex leaves office dealing with the idea of his own legacy and accomplishments (but as I teased in Stage 3, he won't actually be 'done').

I think that's all I've got in me. Chapter 4 is in the works, but it's taking way longer than I'd like (I've only just started part 1 😬) since I started a new job that's kind of sucking the life out of me. I'm very excited to share it, though! I'll be sad when it's over (maybe I'll do a missing moments oneshot series after, who knows).

director's cut ask game

[bettsfic]

Hi Betts! Almost 3 years ago -- COVID times, etc -- I wrote you an ask because I was very anxious about not getting into the grad program I desperately wanted. I didn't, but I got into another top tier program and now have a high-paying job in my industry - one that will allow me to support my parents in a few years and is only partly morally bankrupt. Life turned out okay, but every time I try to write I feel this raging shame. (1/2)

You've been wonderfully kind to people telling you about their shame in the past, and you've been very insightful in responses to people who just can't seem to get past the outlining stage. I don't know if there's much more to say - I just want to let you know I'm struggling but that your thoughts are helping. I feel ashamed that I want to write silly stories, and that I'm so badly out of practice with writing. I have ideas, and feel big emotions, but I can't get anything on the page. (2/2)

first, my sincerest congratulations. you have no idea how happy i am to hear that you've found so much success in your field.

unfortunately, i don't think the shame ever really goes away. it's something you have to fight as you fiddle with ideas and eventually one of them becomes bigger than your shame. the only way i've managed to work through it is by, i don't know, hiding from it i guess, the shame i mean. it's something external, not part of me, and i can find safety in the small dark spaces where it's too big to reach me.

maybe that sounds fucked up. but shame is a fucked up thing, and the truth is that everything i've ended up feeling proud of began with a "why do i even bother, who is going to read this" kind of defeat. but tucked away in that safe space, it doesn't matter. there, i'm able to say, "i'm curious about this idea, i'll just see what happens." shame is out there wailing on the door, but i've locked it. it's loud and annoying, but it can't get in. sometimes i follow my curiosity through until the thing i'm writing gets so big that it beats the shit out of shame, and that's when i find the confidence and motivation to post a fic, or submit to publications, or apply for awards and grants and residencies.

shame is so insidious that the novel i just finished was 100k before i thought, "hmm, this might be a novel." i was able to write it at all because i convinced myself it would be a short story or maybe a novella, 20k max, and in being that length it would be impossible to publish, but in being impossible to publish, i was completely free to do whatever i wanted with it. so much of my process involves repeatedly lying to myself, telling myself the stakes are so low, they're buried underground. words are free, after all. the only thing they cost you is time, and your free time is an allowance you're allowed to use however you want.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Good Morning Steph! Have you got any Johnlock fics that feels similar and in-character to the show? Even better if it shows Sherlock's intellectual prowess which is often lost or feels off as it's something difficult to write without looking a bit into forensic science or psychology. So I'd love to see an author who nails it or comes close to it!

Hey Nonny!

Ahhhh, see this is a tough one because everyone's interpretation of "character feeling in-canon" is different from person to person. See, to me, every fic I've read and personally recced feel in-character (though OBVIOUSLY not in-canon) and I'm the only right person, so there LOL. But that's SO not true at all and like everyone will disagree with me hahah.

But, hmm. Maybe these lists will be the closest to the show that you can get to "canon feeling" without me listing all my non-AU bookmarks (over 500 lol). I do recommend you check out my Permalink for ALL of my personal Rec Lists here :)

As ALWAYS, if anyone has something they NEED Nonny to read, please do suggest them :)

Season 1 Fics

Season 1 Fics Pt 2

TGG Related Fics

TGG: Pool Scene

ASiB Fics

THoB Fix It Fics

THoB Fics Pt. 2

Post-TRF Divergence

Post-TRF No Mary (Jan 2023)

Reunion and Other Post TRF Fics

Reunion and Other Post TRF Fics Pt. 2

Reunion and Other Post-TRF Fics Pt. 3

The Empty Hearse-Related Fics

TSo3-Related Fics

Post John’s Wedding Fics

Gay Bar Scene

Talk After John’s Wedding

Stag Night

HLV Fics

After the Gunshot (HLV)

Tarmac Scene

Post S3 Fics

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

TABlock (Apr 2020)

TFP Is Canon

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 2

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 3

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 4

S3 / TAB / S4 [FIX IT] Fics (March 2019)

Post S4 and Mental Health

Unseen Moments

Case Fics || [MOBILE]

Case Fics Pt 2

Case Fics Pt 3

Case Fics Pt 4

ACD Canon

Long ACD Canon (MFLs)

Alternate First Meetings (Canon-Feeling)

[moonlight19256]

2,6,11,18,23,38,58,59,78, and 84 for the ask writing game >:)

2: oh man now i actually have to think abt what i've written lol. umm i was writing this fic in the wednesday fandom and i planned on making it a oneshot, a ~3k word fic, but the characters took hold on me and kept going and kept pining for eachother lol (the story ended up being 23k)

6: i hope for the best lol. i had a vaguely coherent posting schedule for my wednesday fic, tho: i would only post on a wednesday. lol.

11: um i learned some history abt charlemagne (karel de grote) for this doctor who fic which i... still havent finished oops, and also abt the evolution of toasters for the same fic. also for the wednesday fic i discovered in which stages decomposing bodies will float in water so thats. fun.

18: most fave part is when i let the characters do silly things or if they are in indescribable pain :). also i love getting comments/kudos. my least favourite part is when i cant figure out how to write a specific scene, and dialogue. ouch.

23: i just leave writing alone and focus on my other hobbies or school. or i just write random stuff without stopping, with usually very silly things as a result lol

38: too many. lol. ive got a zillion wips (ive got 20k words in just wips, i counted a few weeks ago). but right now im actively working on 5 wips, 1 original story, other 4 are fanfics lol

58: minecraft death messages probably, or what kind of vision frogs have. idk which one was last

59: i guess... on a train? or perhaps on a mountain in germany or france. but both werent really dangerous lol

78: i usually have a few scenes or things i want to have in the chapter, so when im done with that i just write some concluding nice sentences, i guess

84: hmm tough question. i dont have a really strong opinion on it, probably underused? i think having very complex words can distract the reader from the dialogue or action, but sometimes its good to use 'whispered' or words like that to indicate tone, i guess

thank you for the askk!! (also my ao3 account is @Moonlight3000! hehe)

[galactic-pirates]

Hey hey 😄 For the fanfic writer asks!!

10, 17, 29 and 41

Hey thank you so much for the ask!!

10) Do you work on multiple wips or stick to one fic at a time? I thought I had already answered this but must have been for a previous ask meme. I've done a few of them lately and it's such fun, thanks for playing all.

Anyway! I actively work on just one. More live in my brain obviously but ping-ponging between projects just makes progress so glacial it gets really discouraging. So one at a time :)

17) Do you have a writing routine? I guess? I turn the PC on. Boot Plottr, open NovelPad. I get my planner and write down the scene I'm working on that day. I decide what my goal is for the day. Lately it's been more time-focused rather than goal. I have a horrible habit of not focusing if I say "do X number of words" and then I sit there forever being miserable. Much better to give myself a time limit, and whatever I get done is all I get for the day. I keep hoping it will teach me to spend my time more wisely but alas there are still days I procrastinate badly.

29) What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of? Already answered here :)

41) Who’s your favorite character you’ve written? Hmm. What I enjoy the most I think is when I can hear the character, and I feel like I captured their voice. That doesn't happen a lot. It has happened with Claudia (Warehouse 13), and I had it happen quite a bit in my Librarians/Sanctuary crossover. I think it helps if the characters have phrases they often use.

But favourite character to write just generally? You know I'm tempted to say Nikola. I went through a phase where I felt like I should tag every fic I was writing with "Nikola is a good friend" because it was just coming out that way. He's a snarky bastard who talks a good game but he doesn't fool me, he can bluster all he wants but I know how much he cares for his friends.

Although I have liked writing Eve in my Librarians fics.

Bonus question because you had a repeat :)

52) What’s the average word count of your fics? 943,505 / 81 (as I have 2 fanarts on AO3) = 11,648

Given my propensity for lengthy multi-chaptered I am surprised it's that low, but then I guess there are a fair few oneshots as well, and it is an average.

I'm bummed it's close to a million but not over it. Makes me wonder if I scrape my HD for all the prompt ficlets I never posted anywhere other than tumblr, or the fanfic I never finished/posted, if I would get there. I doubt it. I've probably got 20k or so but not nearly 60k. Sad.

[actuallyitsstar]

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

⛔ 🎶 ⏳💥 🎃❌

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

(this is so many and obviously feel free to answer however many you want!!)

✨ send me an emoji and ask me about my fanfic! ✨

😈 has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

honestly, i can't say that there has been! i mean don't get me wrong, i have certainly been writing EVEN MORE ANGST AGAIN and been like. hmm. the people in my phone are gonna hate me for this :) lol. but that angst is also for ME bc like. that's my jam lol. and i never post unfinished multichaptered fics, so i feel its not likely that i'd ever do this, since i don't get feedback on my writing until after it's already completed, lol.

✍ do you have a beta reader?

i don't! i never have, actually. it is an intriguing idea but i've never been a ~serious~ enough writer for it, i don't think, and i also cringe at the idea of anyone seeing anything i've ever written before i have re read and re-edited it about 50 thousand times lol

⛔do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

recently, no, but i have at least 10 unfinished fics for various old fandoms that are like. not *scrapped*, per se, but just uhhh unlikely to be completed any time soon lol, some being 10+ years old. i never say never but like AM i going finish that OC-au of the mentalist season 6 where somebody is trying to attack all the "psychics" in texas because they have a grudge against what some fake psychic told them like 10 years ago???? honestly, probably not, lol.

🎶do you listen to music while you write? what song have you been playing on loop lately?

yes, i do! can't write in just silence, usually, but it can't have words, either, because i can't hear Words and also Write Different Words, lol. recently i have been listening to 70s-80s Japanese city pop playlists (here is one of my favorites!) since i don't speak the language and it also is such a vibe. in the past i've also done the in love with a ghost vibes, lofi girl, and instrumental synth-wave, as well. i also really like the artist City Girl for that reason, and i think my favorite album of theirs is Neon Impasse. I listened to that on loop a lot writing ttnp!

⏳how long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

this is a very difficult to answer question because it depends on a lot of factors, lol. I have written 20k words in two days before. I have also gone weeks only writing a thousand. it depends on how much free time i have (recently, almost none, lol), how much down time there is at my job (i wrote a large portion of ttnp in down time at my job, and there is not going to be job down time for the foreseeable future unfortunately, which has really put a damper on things). as long as i am at least mildly inspired or motivated, and have ample enough time, i can get a lot done, usually, but it all depends on a lot of factors.

💥how do you feel about criticism?

i am made of tissue paper pls dont hurt me akdshdjfhf i am actually very much okay with and welcoming of it, actually, bc without it, i would never improve. definitely needs to be in good faith, because being made of tissue paper isn't entirely a lie lol, but if there's something i have done poorly or something that i have the opportunity to do better next time, i am always happy to take it into consideration!

🎃do you write fics for holidays? what is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

hmmmm well i actually never have but i love the concept and i am hoping to get to do it this year ;) ;)

❌what's a trope you will never write?

for an actual trope i'd probably have to think a lot longer and harder than i have in answering these questions so far, lol, but one thing i can say, though it's not a trope, is that i'll never write smut. your local sex repulsed asexual is just not about it, lol. which is not to say ive never read and enjoyed fics w/ smut in them!!! i just skip ahead until it's over, lol.

🧠pick a character and i'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them!

omg i don't know which of us is supposed to be doing the headcanoning but i'll go ahead and assume it's you ?????? and my pick is iceman. pls tell me ur fav headcanon !!! i am excited !!!

🤩do you have a favorite character to write?

recently, it had been maverick, to no one's surprise, lol. what can i say. somethin' about the inherent trauma just speaks to me <3

🤲 would you please share a small snippet of a WIP?

HMMM...... I SUPPOSE..... A SMALL ONE......... ;)

THANK U SO MUCH for the ask !!! i loved answering all of them and i am so sorry it has been taking me so long to do everything recently oh my god. i am, as bilbo would say (im paraphrasing), feeling like butter scraped across way the fuck too much bread these days akdhfdjfhf but i rly appreciate ur asks and ur support and time and continued habit of thinking of me !!! <3 <3

[twotangledsisters]

for the Get to Know Your Fic Writer!

1, 2, 11, and 16!

Oooh, thanks for the ask!

1.- Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Hmm.... I think I prefer the idea of one-shots but as you well know... Well, I currently have a "one-shot" that isn't yet complete and sitting at 20k words so I guess I like the idea, but my brain isn't able to contain itself!

2.- Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Bit of both! Sometimes I just have a vague idea and jump in, sometimes I have a plan, but even in series like Tangled Sisters, I don't go so far as to plan each chapter, rather I plan what the big plots points are, what NEEDS to happen, and then kinda see what goes on in between as we go.

I also have a tendency to come up with new ideas and before you know it I'm writing a different fic to the plan!

11.- Link your three favourite fics right now

OOOOH, this is a lot of pressure!

I feel like my faces do change depending on the day and mood and most importantly... my memory.

Today my brains is offering up one-shots so that's what ya'll get, in no particular order:

Judgement Day by @the-writer1988. I don't know what it is about the idea of Eugene facing the king and queen before Rapunzel's safe return that always attracts me as an idea! Like, the bravery required, the tenseness of that scene... And this one-shot does it super well!

I'm Not Sick by DreamsAndDaytime (I don't know if they're on tumblr but if they are please tell me!) this is one of the first one-shots I read and fell in love with in this fandom. I love Eugene and Cass' interactions in this! I'm a sucker for any fic that takes the time to both let them be friends but play into their humour. It's just my favourite thing ever!

And then I can't pick between one (any almost) of @frozenwolftemplar's little Cass stuff or @roygbivv's New Dream fics. I think for much shorter prose, romance or flfuf I have to go for New Dream. But sometimes I just want to watch Cap be a dad and Cass be a sweet but not easy child...

Sorry, can't do three, it's gotta be four!

Ask me another day you'll get another series of fics, you can tell I'm leaning into short and sweet today!

16.- How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Quite honestly... Too many. It'll be over 50 wips soon.

Two of my most recents are:

Anagapesis

Falling out of love; the feeling of not loving someone or something once loved. Stalyan was beautiful and smart, and everything Eugene thought he desired. So why was writing some simple wedding vows such an impossible task?

A one-shot with Eugene writing his vows the day before his wedding, he thinks back to the ups and downs of their relationship, to the love he felt in the start, to how he feels today, and comes to the conclusion he can't go through with the wedding.

Hair-Cut

An AU where in the first fic in the Tangled Sister's series, Cassandra goes trhough with cutting Rapunzel's hair effectively killing Gothel. The girls, alone int he tower, eventually have to adventure out for food!

It was meant to be some quick cute fluff!

But right now Cassandra is eighteen years old, running away from home and Lance and Eugene are trying to hunt her down... How did that happen?!

Here's the original post if anybody has other questions!

I also realised I didn't tag anybody... I think a lot of people have already been tagged so I'll just tag @the-writer1988 (because I haven't seen you do it and I want ANSWERS!) and whoever wants to! :D

[siriuslystarbucks]

Hmm undecided about something and could use some opinions

So back in 2016 I started writing fic. I had a breakdown and deleted my first account and all the works I posted to that point. When I made my new account, I reposted all the fics except the WIP's, with the idea being that I would finish them before posting so I wasn't as stressed.

It's been like 7 and a half years, things have really changed, and this one modern AU is... outdated. I don't have the love for this WIP that I originally did, so I'm not willing to rewrite it or do the heavy edits necessary to bring it to what I currently like.

At most, the fic is halfway through the intended plot. I'm not really happy with what this fic currently is, but like, it is from 2016. My opinions on certain characters and characterizations has changed a lot. Sirius says things I'm not happy about. James does things I don't like. It's ~20k which is a lot for me, and (at the time) I put a lot of thought into it.

Should I stick it back in the WIP folder until I feel like looking at it again and hope that next time I want to finish it? Should I post it as an Unfinished&Abandoned fic and be done with it? Should I just delete it and wash my hands of it? Is there a secret fourth option anyone has?

[scary-grace]

Hi! 33, 43 and 48 for the fanfic writers ask game 💜

Thank you for the ask!

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

I don't really have an ideal chapter length to write! But after 10k or so is where I start to think "hmm, I need to wrap this up". Whether or not I actually wrap it up is a different story. But when it comes to other people's fics, I'm happy with any chapter length! I trust where the writer's going with it, so if they want to post 2k or 20k, I'm up for it.

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

My favorite prompt fic is probably at the drawing board, the hopeful ones still try, which is a Barduil soulmate AU + Royals AU prompt given to me by @sunnyrosewritesstuff! It was a good challenge to write a soulmate fic, and it turned out really well!

My second favorite is definitely promise I'll be the cure, which is based on a prompt from @corndog-patrol. It was my second erasermic fic ever and I had a great time working with Mic as a narrator.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

The last fic I read was called Hearts and Their Consumption and I definitely would recommend it! It's from Howl's Moving Castle and it's a really interesting take on Howl's supposed heartlessness.

fic writer asks

[brightgolden]

2022 Writing Self-Evaluation

I was tagged by these amazing writers @neondiamond @greenblueish @lunarheslwt @disgruntledkittenface @onlythebravest

1. Number of stories posted to AO3 this year: 4 (wow that's serious contrast compared to last year if this doesn't show how much i'm struggling idk what will)

2. Word count posted for the year: 161 377

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Here's Your Perfect

Bookmarks: Here's Your Perfect

Comments: Here's Your Perfect

More under the cut!

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): 

Easily Enchanted. I loved how easy the whole plot came to me and how quickly I finished it. The whole process was like a breeze.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

Definitely I Do. I finished writing it in February 2021, and I believed I have grown as a writer since then. The whole fic was so so cringey

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

Probably when someone messaged to tell me how much they loved the fic. Looking at you @lululawrence and @thinlinez

And anyone who were diligent enough to click through multiple links to come to my blog and write a comment or ask about new fics

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Tbh the second half of my year just went on a nosedive that it left me absolutely knackered by November/December.

In comparison, I usually write 20k every month and in November, I only wrote 8k.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Probably Atticus in Here's Your Perfect. Never in my life did I have to spend more than 6 hours with a toddler, and yet I received a comment saying how realistic his character is.

11. A favourite excerpt of your writing:

The dialogue is something I came up with halfway through writing Endgame which is a rare occurrence.

Alma shakes her head, index finger raised in the air as she patiently explains, “There just isn’t any recent documentation about soulmates because people progress. They build boats and sail around the world. How do you expect to meet your soulmate if they don’t live in the same land as you? Hmm?”

Harry turns to Louis, wanting him to refute it too. But Louis looks like he is actually entertaining the idea, eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed.

“And over time, without the relevancy, soulmates became folklore,” he mumbles. “Mum said that when I was young.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I'm not sure I do, but looking back at I Do, I'm probably selling myself short here.

Other than that, probably being brave enough to finally write my first 100k fic. Although, considering I didn't manage to finish it in time, I might regret putting so much of my time in that one.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

Literally stop being so hard on myself as a writer.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

During my darkest days, I can always rely on @pocketsunshineharry and @thinlinez They are my best cheerleader and definitely the reason I'm still writing today.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Not intentionally, but Harry's persistence in proving himself in Here's Your Perfect

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write whenever you want, whatever you want, however you want. Don't let anything/anyone discourage you.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

My beloved Mob AU that at this point I have developed love-hate relationship with. So tired of writing and talking about this one.

A fic for @faithinthefutureficfest and a sugar baby fic that I'm really excited about

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

I feel like everyone has done this at this point because in my classic way, I waited for the last day of the year to make an evaluation.

Tagging @ohpleaselarry @harryslonecurl @dragmedown @cyantific if you haven't done this already!

[sunriseverse]

For the fic writer asks: 13, 14 and 15 if I may :)

And you know I'm always here for 37!

putting this all below the cut because it got long, oops!

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

hmm...................the only piece of writing advice i can think of that i would actually go "yeah, that's true" about is the fact that most of the time, you do not need to find alternatives to "said". "said" is not dead, but in fact a vital tool in any writer's repertoire, and oftentimes trying to cut it out for other, more "interesting" options can make a piece come across as clunky.

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

95% of all writing advice i've come across ranges from "this is only applicable in certain situations and trying to generalise it is nonsensical" to "that's just downright stupid and will hinder you". my "favourite" piece of writing advice is every piece that tells you to mercilessly cut out 90% of adjectives, adverbs, and other descriptors—most people do not want to aspire to ernest hemmingway's writing style, and many people, both readers and writers, enjoy descriptives because they help paint a mental scene of what's happening. you know—the very thing writing is meant to be doing? i for one love using many, many descriptives, because i find they help to set the emotional tone of the scenes i write, and i've been told by multiple people that my habit of describing things helps them to imagine my stories set in a more realistic, convincing world rather than just characters on a blank background.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

oh this is hard. this is very, very hard. i think......................oh god, i forget the title to this, but years ago (so in like.........2020), i wrote a pacrim fic that was vaguely set in the victorian era, featuring magical elements. it's at an even 20k, and i wrote it all in one sitting, and while i don't think it's the best thing i've ever written, i do think it's the most film adaptable of everything (that i can remember, at least). that said, while it wouldn't work with the film format, i have some very vicarious daydreams of the sunrise verse being adapted to live action.

37. Talk about your current wips.

it would be easier to talk about what aren't my current wips haha. well, let's see........................i'm not actively writing anything, but basically anything i've got more than a few sentences in concept of counts as a wip to me. in order from most important for me to get started on to "less important but i'd like to make a crack on them before 2024":

immortal ba ye au - what if instead of zhang rishan taking over as head of the jiumen association, it was an immortal ba ye, who has lost just about everyone he loves in his life (fo ye, qi yu, zhang rishan), and had to make himself in an entirely new man to survive the modern world and the position he's in? what if after the wang compound battle, he found out that zhang rishan hadn't died as he had thought, but actually been kept in a cursed sleep after being experimented on by the wang? what if—well, you know the rest. this is my big writing project i really need to plot out properly so i can work on it.

multiple sunrise verse fics. i'm putting these all together because they're too interconnected by being in the same verse to separate them. i want to write a heihua fic in this setting, plus the fuba fic, plus a much larger sunrise verse!version of the events of sha hai, and then a fic about xiaoge post changbaishan rift/when he returns from beyond the bronze gate. unfortunately i cannot write the heihua fic until i get through more of canon, but the others are all more doable. (i went and plotted out the sunrise verse timeline specifically so i could make all these fics work—even the fuba one, which required me to make the both of them significantly younger than in (show) canon (though funnily enough, fo ye got retcon'd to around his novelverse age rather than show canon age).)

the weird fucking vampire au that has far too strong of a hold over me for something that i am 90% sure will have to be tagged as "blood kink" if (when) it ever gets written. tl;dr: ba ye gets poisoned, they try and heal him with qilin blood, it............does not work and instead he winds up craving it (it being zhang rishan's blood). once he gets cured it doesn't go away. the inherent homoeroticism of blood drinking, having someone's teeth sunk into your neck knowing they could kill you but won't, you know how it goes.

lesbian luo fei/qin xiaoman fic. i have got to finish detective l before i can write this but the mental images for this in my head are very strong. country dyke xiaoman-jie representation. alas, this means i have to relegate luo fei/ben jieming to a platonic relationship, but i'll write them as canon gay people some day to even out the scales.

the iron triangle visiting baima's grave. that's it, that's the fic. (that's a lie—the concept has so many fucking feels attached for both personal and narrative reasons. taking the people you love to meet the person you lost. the acknowledgement of that loss and the love that still continues in you. you know how it goes.)