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tomhiddlestonfanfic · 4 years

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A Step Too Far? Chapter Nine A Moon of My Own

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11

TITLE: A Step Too Far? NUMBER OF CHAPTERS/ONE SHOT: 9/? WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Stepfather Tom OTHER CHARACTERS: Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott PAIRING: Tom/OFC, Benedict Cumberbatch/OFC GENRE: Drama, Hurt/Comfort WARNINGS: Spanking, Infidelity, Sex

CHAPTER NINE A Moon of My Own

Nina spent the weekend at home, bonding with baby William. She sang swedish songs to him and found that Tom was listening intently, trying to understand the lyrics. She ended up translating for him and teaching him swedish nursery rhymes and pop songs.

"I want a moon of my own, that I can go to, and forget that you left me. I can sit on my moon, and do whatever I want, I'll stay there until everything's alright," Nina translated one of her mother's favourite songs for Tom.

"Thank you for translating," Tom told her with a warm smile.

"No problem," Nina replied and continued to sing for her baby brother. "Jag är fattig bonddräng men jag lever ändå…"

"What was that song about?" Tom asked curiously from the sofa where he was laying down and watching her interactions with the baby.

"It's about a poor farmer boy who works hard everyday," Nina explained. "He gets drunk on Saturdays, gets into fights and sleeps with women. On Sundays he sleeps instead of going to church. Then the work week begins again. Eventually he dies and stands before God, regretful of his sins. But God forgives him and welcomes him into heaven."

"Is that really a children's song?" Tom questioned amusedly.

"The farm boy sings it in 'Emil i Lönneberga', so it’s sort of a children's song, I guess. Or maybe it's meant for the grown ups watching with their children," Nina replied. "It's written by Astrid Lindgren, so it’s for everyone."

"I see. I appreciate the existential theme," Tom told her.

"Me too," Nina agreed and smiled at him. She realised that she enjoyed spending time in his company. Things had become different between them ever since they started working together. She felt like she knew him a bit better now, and ever since he became a father, she had seen a more sensitive side of him. He had expressed his worry for her in more tactful ways and they hadn't been arguing as much as they used to do.

“You’ve spent most weekends at home lately, is something up?” Nina’s mother asked her during dinner.

“I’ve just been tired from work, so I haven’t really felt like doing anything on the weekends,” Nina replied with a shrug.

“Perhaps you should work fewer hours if work is making you so tired,” Helena suggested, looking a bit concerned as she gently caressed her daughter’s cheek. “She could do that, right Tom?”

“I’ve already offered that,” Tom replied, also assuming a look of concern as he looked at Nina. “The offer still stands.”

“No thanks, I’m good,” Nina insisted.

“But you don’t seem to have any energy left for your friends,” Helena objected.

“Isn’t that what life is like as a grown up? All work, no play, and then you die?” Nina questioned gloomily.

“Nina, are you getting depressed again? Are you taking your medications?” Helena asked concernedly.

Nina sighed heavily in response. “I can’t recall ever becoming undepressed,” she muttered and got up from the dinner table, grabbing her plate and glass. “Thanks for the food.”

“You’re welcome,” Tom replied as she left the dining room.

Nina threw away the rest of the food and placed the dishes in the dishwasher before heading to the fridge, grabbing another one of her precious energy drinks. At least they presented her with some joy in her quite lonely life. She would occassionally call Jim over for sex, but other than that, she spent most of her time alone. Nina’s loneliness had been a source of concern for her mother for many years. It had even gotten to the point that Nina sometimes went out for hour long walks, telling her mother that she was seeing a friend. She had done that a lot during the summer, taking a book with her to sit and read by the sea. Her favourite book was one that Tom had gifted her for her nineteenth birthday. It was called The Stranger and was about the absurdity of life and the feeling of alienation. Nina felt alienated a lot of the time, as though she did not belong anywhere in this world.

During the evening, Tom came by her room to check on her.

“Can I come in?” he requested and Nina nodded at him as she sat up in her bed, putting her laptop aside. “We worry about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Nina told him, pulling her knees up to her chest, hugging them.

“You seem... lonely,” Tom said carefully.

“I need to be alone a lot,” Nina told him. “Being around people takes a lot of energy.”

“Then maybe you should work shorter hours, so you have energy to do fun things with friends and not only work,” Tom suggested. Nina snorted in response.

“What friends?” she asked.

“How about the one you spent a lot of time with this summer? Viktoria?” Tom said.

“Viktoria is not real,” Nina admitted.

“What?” Tom asked confusedly.

“I made her up so mom wouldn’t worry so much about me being alone,” she explained.

“But you were away for hours at a time, sometimes all day and sometimes all night,” Tom said frowningly.

“Yeah, it was kind of fun actually, how you never figured it out when you never got to meet her,” Nina told him with a sad smile. “It’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? Making up imaginary friends when you’re twenty? And still living with your mother because you’re too afraid of what you would do to yourself if you had to live alone?” she confided in him.

“It’s not pathetic,” Tom said earnestly and put an arm around her shoulders. “I had no idea you were feeling that way. I thought you lived with your mom because you were comfortable that way, not because you were afraid to live alone.”

“Please don’t tell mom about this. I’ve told her that Viktoria moved to Stockholm, so please don’t tell her that she never even existed. She was so happy when she thought I had a best friend,” Nina pleaded.

“I won’t tell her. But I think you need to see someone about this. Didn’t you have a psychologist?” Tom asked.

“It didn’t work out between us, so I stopped going,” Nina reminded him.

“Right,” Tom remembered. “How about finding you a new one. I’ll be more than happy to pay for it.”

“You don’t have to pay for it,” Nina told him. “You gave me a job, remember? I can pay for therapy myself now. Especially as I’m living here for free.”

“I want you to save your money for the future or use them to have fun. I’m paying for your therapy,” Tom insisted.

“I never even agreed that I would go see a therapist,” Nina said.

“Please, see a therapist. It would give your mother and I some peace of mind to know that you have someone to talk to about those things,” Tom pleaded.

“I'll think about it,” Nina told him.

“Thank you,” Tom said with an appreciative smile.

The weekend passed and it was soon Monday again. Nina looked up to see Benedict standing by her desk. He didn’t look pleased. He was probably still upset by the fact that she had spied on him and his family.

“I would like to have a word with you in my office, miss Andersson,” he requested calmly, seemingly holding back on his anger. Nina looked up at him defiantly.

“How about no?” she told him irritably. She didn’t want to be alone with him, because she would probably end up almost having sex with him.

“No?” he questioned incredulously and leaned down over the desk, so that their faces were just decimetres away from each other. She could feel the smell of his cologne and felt an involuntary thrill of excitement run through her body as she looked him in his darkened eyes. “My office now,” he told her firmly in a low voice.

“Fine,” Nina finally agreed, afraid that Benedict would make a scene otherwise. He looked like he could barely contain his anger. She glanced over her shoulder at her colleagues as she followed him to his office. They all seemed busy doing their jobs, not taking notice of what was going on between her and Benedict. She felt relieved. It would be embarrassing if they thought she made major work related mistakes that would have one of her bosses get angry with her. While she had made a major mistake, at least it was not work related.

Benedict shut the curtain and locked the door, just like he had done preceding week. Nina swallowed nervously. Was he going to beat her again? She knew she would agree to it, even if she wished she would have had the integrity and self-respect to tell him no.

"What the hell were you thinking sneaking around my house?" he demanded angrily. "What if Sophie had seen you?"

"Then you would probably be able to come up with a good lie to explain my presence. Because it comes naturally to you, doesn't it? Lying," Nina told him bitterly.

"I hate lying to my wife," Benedict told her. "I already told you that."

"Then don't give yourself any reasons to lie," she replied.

He approached her angrily and Nina found herself slapping him hard across the face. He looked at her in astonishment for a brief moment, then grabbed her by the arm dragging her with him towards the desk. Nina felt herself grow moist between the legs and a tingling sensation in her lower abdomen as he bent her over the desk. She shut her eyes tightly as he pressed her face down against the desk surface and she bit her lip hard as she braced herself for the pain to come. Benedict slapped her bottom hard with his hand several times, before undoing his belt. This time, he waited between the lashes for Nina to recover before landing the next one across her buttocks. Nina whimpered slightly as she neared her limit and he stopped hitting her with the belt. He roughly grabbed her ass, squeezing it with his hands before rolling up her tight pencil skirt over her hips. Nina gasped as he unexpectedly ripped her tights open in the groin and put his hand between her thighs.

“You naughty girl,” he told her as he felt how wet she was. He touched her, moved the thong to the side and entered her with two fingers at a time. He fingerfucked her until he felt her convulse around him, she was shuddering with pleasure and panting heavily. “Did you come?” he asked smirkingly as she stood up and turned around towards him. She put her arms around his neck and brought him into a kiss. They made out and she began to feel horny again. She touched his erect penis through his trousers and stroked it eagerly.

“Fuck me,” she whispered lustfully into his ear. She didn’t need to ask twice. Benedict lifted her up on the desk, undid his black trousers and released his erect penis. Nina smiled satisfiedly at the sight of it before it entered her. “Fuck me hard,” she requested, and he did. She had to bite her lip hard to suppress a loud moan as he fucked her quickly. She orgasmed again and he pulled out of her.

“On your knees,” he ordered, his voice demanding and his eyes darkened with lust. Nina fell to her knees before him and viciously smiled up at him. “Open your mouth,” he said and she quickly obeyed. She felt like a porn star as he ejaculated into her mouth. “Swallow,” Benedict said, but she grimaced in disgust and shook her head at him as she got up to spit out his cum into his coffee cup.

“Oh, you naughty girl,” Benedict commented with a grin as he watched her trying to make herself look presentable.

“How’s my makeup?” she asked him and he looked at her closely before running his thumbs underneath her eyes, wiping away some mascara.

“Did you cry?” he asked her surprisedly as he continued to gently wipe mascara from her cheeks.

“A little bit,” Nina admitted with a shrug and managed to smile at him. The guilt had overwhelmed her the moment she orgasmed for the second time.

“Your makeup probably needs some touch ups, but it looks fine,” Benedict told her as he pulled out his wallet from his pocket. He took out a thousand krona bill and handed it to her. “For a morning-after pill,” he explained as she looked at him confusedly. “I think I might have come a little bit inside of you.”

“You’re making me feel like a cheap whore,” Nina muttered, but accepted the money. Benedict pulled out a couple of more bills from his wallet and tried giving them to her. “No thanks,” she told him and refused to take the money.

“Do you promise you will take a morning-after pill?” he asked her as she turned to leave.

“Of course, I don’t want a child with someone like you,” Nina told him irritably.

“Don’t forget to take the coffee cup with you,” Benedict reminded her with a smirk. Nina angrily went back towards his desk and grabbed the coffee cup, before stalking out of his office. What the hell had she just done?

Nina went into the kitchen and angrily threw the coffee cup into the trash. She then proceeded to kick the trash can until a familiar voice interrupted her.

“Did mister Cumberbatch yell at you again?” Stina asked concernedly.

“He did,” Nina replied, her eyes filling up with tears. Stina went up to her and hugged her.

“I’m sorry that he’s being such an ass to you,” Stina told her sympathetically. “If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

“Thank you, Stina,” Nina told her appreciatively and tightened the hug. They stood like that for a long moment until another colleague entered the kitchen.

“Nina, what’s the company’s policy on workplace relationships?” Erik asked her provocatively. He must have somehow heard about their date.

“It’s fine, as long as you’re keeping it professional at work,” Nina told him as she stepped away from Stina.

“That didn’t look very professional to me,” Erik told her.

“It was just a hug, Erik,” Stina told him and smiled carefreely at him. “I can give you one too, if you like,” she offered cheerfully. “You look like you could use one.”

“No thanks,” Erik said with a grimace and hurriedly left the kitchen.

Nina and Stina shared amused looks before heading back to work.

Nina felt weighed down by guilt for what she had done, but somehow managed to get through the workday. Benedict cheerfully told her goodbye before heading homewards and she replied with an exaggeratedly gleeful ‘see you tomorrow!’ Her smile faded the moment he turned away from her and was replaced by a dark glare.

“What are you glaring at Ben for?” Andrew asked her curiously and she flinched. She hadn’t noticed him standing there a few metres away, watching her interaction with Benedict. “Did something happen?”

“He yelled at me,” Nina said and noticed Stina looking at them from a distance. She couldn’t exactly tell Andrew the truth, now could she? She felt like she wanted to come clean to someone about it, but didn’t know who.

“What for?” Andrew asked and Nina searched her mind for some error she could have made that would make Benedict yell at her.

“I misspelled his name in an important mail,” she lied. “I wrote Cucumberbatch and he found it humiliating.” She couldn’t help but smile at her own lie. Andrew returned her smile.

“I see,” he said amusedly. “I could talk to him about treating you more gently, if you like,” he offered, but Nina shook her head at him in response.

“I’m fine. Now that it’s over, I do find it kind of funny,” she assured him with a genuinely bright smile. She wanted so badly to believe her own lie. How great it would have been if only it had been true.

But it wasn’t true. On the way home, Tom put on her mother’s favourite song about wanting a moon of your own to go to and stay there until everything was alright again. Nina’s filled with tears as she thought about how she just wanted to escape somewhere far away from everything. She wanted a moon of her own to go to.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked her concernedly.

“Yes, I was just thinking about Ted,” Nina told him.

“Ted Gärdestad? Who sings the song?” Tom asked her.

“Yeah. I was thinking about how beautifully he sang and how sadly he died. He killed himself,” Nina told him sadly.

“That’s very tragic,” Tom replied seriously and threw her concerned looks for the rest of the car ride home.

“I’m going for a walk,” Nina informed her mother and Tom after taking a shower and getting dressed into a pair of jeans and a David Bowie t-shirt.

“But dinner is almost ready,” her mother objected.

“I’ll eat when I get back,” Nina assured her and put her shoes and jacket on. Tom took out the trash bags out of the kitchen bins and put on a pair of slippers, following her out.

“Nina,” he said as they reached the bins outside the house. She turned around to look at him. He had a concerned look on his face. “You’re not thinking about doing something rash, are you?” he asked her seriously. Nina frowned slightly and then remembered their conversation in the car earlier.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself, if that’s what you’re talking about,” she told him frankly.

“Good,” Tom replied with a brief smile. His blue eyes still conveyed concern. “Don’t be too long or we’ll get worried.”

“I’m twenty years old,” Nina reminded him. “Not a kid, I can look after myself.”

“I know. But I still want you to be careful and not stay out too long,” Tom insisted. “Remember that you have work tomorrow.”

“I know. See you in a bit,” Nina told him.

Nina just kept walking as she listened to music and tried not to think too much about what was weighing her down. Eventually, she sat down by a lake and looked at the full moon in the sky. Its light was mirrored by the water surface of the lake and she found it breathtakingly beautiful. She turned off the music on her phone and sang softly to herself where she sat on the rocks. She sang the song about the moon as tears rolled down her face. She imagined what Ted must have felt like during his last moments of life and was filled by death agony. She put her phone and headphones down on the rocks before standing up. She looked at the water surface and dived into the cold water with her clothes on. As she reached the surface, Nina gasped at how cold it was and swam back up to the rocks where she climbed up and grabbed her phone.

She was shuddering with cold as she walked back home in soaking wet clothes. As she got inside, Tom came to greet her in the hallway and looked at her in shock.

“What happened?” he asked frowningly.

“I fell,” Nina lied.

“Should I put your phone in a bag of rice?” he offered.

“The phone is fine,” Nina told him. Tom looked at her suspiciously.

“You didn’t fall, did you?” he asked frankly. Nina shrugged at him. “I asked you not to do anything rash.”

“It wasn’t rash, I spared my phone and headphones,” Nina objected.

“Your lips are blue. Come, let’s go down to the basement so your mother doesn’t see you like this,” Tom told her, putting a gentle arm around her shoulder as he walked her down to the basement. “Clothes off and step in the shower, I’ll get you some dry clothes,” he instructed and respectfully turned away as Nina immodestly began to take her clothes off in front of him. She wasn’t trying to seduce him or anything, she was just too cold to care if he saw her naked body.

Nina took a hot shower and smiled sadly to herself as she found a towel and clothes laid out for her. Tom was always being so nice and gentle towards her. For once she felt grateful that he was a little bit boring and not more like Benedict. She realised that she would never be able to live with the guilt if she managed to get Tom to be unfaithful to her mother. She got dressed and went upstairs to find Tom on the sofa in the living room. She walked up to him and smiled.

“Thank you for being so boring,” she told him, causing him to laugh surprisedly.

“I don’t think I’m that boring,” he objected as she sat down in the armchair next to the sofa.

“You’re just the right amount of boring,” Nina said. “I mean it as a compliment.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Tom told her amusedly. “You seem a bit happier now.”

“I am,” Nina told him with a smile.

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston real person fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfiction #benedict cumberbatch #benedict cumberbatch fanfiction #dad tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston father #a step too far?

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magpiemorality · 5 years

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Seeking: Family, Foster Twins 5

Enter Picani, Therapist Extraordinaire!

Warnings: referenced child abuse throughout, panic attack, implied separation anxiety.

First | Previous | AO3

***

Movie night went… well, actually. Roman was quiet, cuddling into Remus's side as they shared one of the couches, but they both laughed and muttered along to the kids movie they'd picked, and Patton had heard them chatting comfortably in the kitchen while they supervised the popcorn process.

The next morning he heard back from Emile about the voicemail he'd left. There was an appointment available during Emile's lunch, that he usually left in case of emergencies like this one. He had time to fit both twins individually if Remus wanted to come along too, and Patton could call in for an appointment of his own when the boys went to Remy's for their end of the week assessment.

Patton wasn't sure how to approach Remus. The boy was clearly starving for every drop of affection and kind parenting he gave him, thriving on the praise and thanks after a job well done. He'd damn near whimpered when Patton had thanked him again for swapping chores so the adult could talk to his twin, and had even tried to take on the hoovering, craving the validation.

He'd been kind but firm then, letting Remus know that this was a deal and it was meant to be kept to, because Patton was an equal member of the household and had his own share of the responsibilities. Remus didn't understand yet but he didn't have to do chores to earn affection, and it needed to be made clear from the start.

But how to broach the subject of the therapist? Children were unpredictable, he knew that. He'd seen the dissociation Roman had exhibited and he wasn't so sure Remus, even with all of his desperation to please, would be particularly positive either.

"Boys, you all done there?" He asked, poking his head into the laundry room to see them actually folding the clothes. "Oh wonderful! I've got some news for you both, if you're free?"

Remus waited for Roman as always, and when Roman nodded he did too, following Patton out to the kitchen table where Patton can push some small info booklets from Emile's practice over to them to browse through. "So I talked to Dr Picani, like I said I would to you, Roman. He has some time today at lunch. And we haven't had a chance to chat about it yet Remus, but he's offered you a spot too, if you're ready to join us today? It's just an informal meeting, so you can ask him questions and see if you'll get along with him. We'd need to go in about an hour, what do you boys think?"

There was a long silence as the twins both stared at their pamphlets. Patton waited with unending patience, before clearing his throat when the silence dragged on. "Would you prefer to have a chat about it together without me?" He suggested softly, and Roman's quick nod confirmed his suspicions.

They were a united front against the world. It didn't surprise him that this perceived threat warranted a discussion.

Patton left them to it and absolutely did not eavesdrop. He felt the temptation to, of course he did. He was human and he was trying to parent two hurt boys that were fresh out of an incredibly toxic home environment. Eavesdropping could provide valuable information that could help him understand and look after them better.

But it wasn't worth it to betray their trust like that. He made sure they could hear him move into the kitchen to set the kettle on, texting Emile with an update and catching up on some news on twitter before Remus appeared in the doorway to fetch him. The boy shifted from foot to foot, rubbing the back of his head, and mumbled that they'd talked it over, if he'd like to hear what they had to say.

"Of course," Patton replied, patting Remus's shoulder on the way into the room.

"We'll go," Roman said immediately, before Patton had even had a chance to sit down. "But we might not like it."

"Understandable."

"And we just want to ask questions. We don't want to answer anything today."

"There may be intake forms, but that's absolutely something for you to discuss with Dr Picani. I won't be involved in the process apart from as your lift either way."

"... You won't ask?" Roman checked, narrowing his eyes with what looked like a mix of suspicion and genuine confusion. "You won't get him to tell you?"

Patton had to fight not to gasp at the idea. "No!" He said firmly instead. "That would be not only disrespectful to both of you, but also breaching the confidentiality of therapy. If you boys stay and you want to we can discuss a group session for all three of us together. It can help to improve communication between family, but apart from that your sessions would be your own."

He wanted to ask so badly, if their parents had done that, but he had to leave that to Emile. Patton knew the value of trust and he knew the value of keeping things separate, and trying to pry into their lives now would never work. If they chose to say something, to come to him then it would be amazing and beautiful and precious, but to force it would be to tell them he was just there to fix them. Not to be the parent they truly required.

Not that Patton didn't hope that would happen one day; he was an excellent and enthusiastic giver of hugs. And he missed his hugs sessions with Thomas a lot.

The twins shared a glance and Remus shrugged, leg bouncing under the table, fingers picking at his lip. "So we'll go in an hour and talk to this doctor, and then...?"

"Whatever you like. I'm thinking we could go out for the day tomorrow, so if you wanted to just go to the park or hang out around here this afternoon that's cool. What were you two thinking?"

"P-"

"I want to stay here," Roman spoke over his brother. Remus didn't even react apart from to stop talking and immediately close his mouth, looking at his brother. Patton breathed deeply.

"Okay. And you, Remus?" He asked softly, keeping the tone as even as possible so Roman didn't interpret it as a jab.

Remus shrugged. "Here is fine," he said, casting a small glance and a smile at his twin.

"Alrighty then. Maybe we can grab some lunch on the way back first then. Alright guys, I'm going to go and do some office time, be ready in an hour, if you can. Don't worry about bringing anything with you but yourselves now!"

Dr Emile Picani was, in Patton's humble opinion, one of the best child- and indeed adult- therapists in the state, if not the country. He smiled that same relaxed, slightly sheepish smile when he saw the three of them walk in, greeting Patton with a hug and asking the boys for their names without trying to force any contact. Patton could see him analysing quickly in his head as he gathered insignificant bits of information, like age and school year, putting them at ease and probably running through the list of observations Patton had sent ahead.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready to go in! Who wants to go first?" He said, while Patton filled out their forms with the receptionist. "No takers? Okay, why don't we go by alphabetical order, so that's you then Remus. Is that okay?"

Remus nodded, but Patton caught the faint gulp out of the corner of his eyes and offered the boy a reassuring smile when wide eyes found his, before the pair headed into Emile's room. Roman sloped off to the waiting area chairs and pointedly ignored Patton when he sat nearby, playing something on his phone.

"Do you think he's okay?" He asked abruptly about five minutes in. "He's not good with questions, or like, direct stuff. Maybe you should check on him."

Patton glanced up. "I'm sure he's fine. Em- Dr Picani is a professional, and if Remus was uncomfortable he would end the meeting and bring him out."

"Yeah but what if he can't tell, you know? What if he thinks Remus is just being super quiet or something?"

"Roman, it's alright, can you try and take a few deep breaths for me?"

"Because he's super quiet around new people, you're like, a weird anomaly, and he gets panicked real easy and what if Dr Picani says the wrong thing-"

"Roman,"

"Cause it's easy to do that, I do that sometimes and I should know! I know what he's like but Dr Picani doesn't I-"

"Roman, I'm going to hold your hand okay?"

Roman looked at him with wide eyes. "Okay," he gasped, squeezing tight when Patton grasped his fingers.

Patton shuffled closer and waited for Roman to look at him again. "I'm going to put your hand on my chest so you can feel my breathing, alright? I'd like you to try and copy my breathing. There's no rush, just try and copy along. There you go."

They breathed and breathed together. The receptionist gave Patton a glanced but he shook his head, wary of trying to introduce anyone else in to help with Roman's panic attack. The boy stared almost without blinking at his face, until his chest didn't heave anymore but rose and fell in a more reasonable rhythm.

He whined very quietly under his breath, and Patton smiled at him. "That was awesome, well done. Thank you for letting me help, Roman." The teenager nodded at him quickly, and yanked his hand back when the door to Emile's room opened and the doctor led Remus out.

"Oh, Ro..." Remus whispered, hurrying to his twins side to hug him while the adults shared a long glance. "It's okay, it's not really scary at all! Dr P was really nice, and I felt okay, and I'll be waiting here the whole time, right?" He looked to Patton for a nod of confirmation, quickly supplied. "See?"

Roman was still shaky but he let Remus help him up and over to the door, glancing back just before Emile closed it on them.

Remus wasn't a whole lot better, being kept from his brother, but perhaps the knowledge of what was going on behind the door helped because he mostly sat and played with the kid's block toy that seemed to be in every waiting room ever, occasionally asking Patton questions like,

"How long will he be?"

"Probably a few more minutes, if it's much like yours."

And,

"Is Dr Picani really like that, or is it just, y'know, to make you feel better?"

"Might be a bit of both kiddo. He's a real softie, but he is a professional and he is there to make you feel comfortable, right?"

"Right, right."

And lastly,

"Patton?"

"Mm?"

"Do you go to therapy too?"

Patton closed his book and sat forwards to answer Remus's innocuous question properly, feeling the weight of the attention Remus was pretending wasn't trained directly on his answer. "I do, Remus. I try to see Dr Picani when I can, and when I had Thomas we used to go to him together as well. I sometimes go extra, if I need the support once in a while. In fact, while you guys have your meeting with Remy this Friday I think I'll give Dr P a visit, so I can talk to him about what's going on in my life too."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

Remus blanched. "No I mean, I just thought you were... like, not like us."

Oh dear. Patton raked his fingers through his hair. "What do you mean by that one, kiddo?"

But Remus wouldn't answer, just shrugging and turning back to discovering and rediscovering the path of the orange block from one end of the wire to the other.

Roman wasn't exactly smiling when he came out, but nor did he have the same edge of panic to him as when he'd entered. He kept glancing at Emile with the same slightly puzzled expression Remus was, while Emile happily ignored the attention and evenly explained the next steps, bidding them all a good afternoon.

"So, who wants to grab food on the way home?" Patton asked, breaking the awkward silence that followed Emile's departure.

The boys lit up, and although they were subdued on the way back they seemed mostly to be lost in thought. Patton would take it as a win for now, and hope that when he asked later they both gave him positive answers to going back again.

If they stayed, of course.

He really hoped they stayed. He was already so attached...

#writepie #foster family au #creativitwins #ts patton #ts remus #ts roman #ts emile #ts writing #ts sanders sides #ts sanders sides aus #ts sanders sides fic #sanders sides #child abuse tw

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basketofverbiage · 5 years

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Breakfast in Bed

I’ve been so excited about the this one and the next two stories. They are all connected and I’ve been planning them since the end of November. They will be all about NamJin as husbands, the maknaes as their sons, and Christmas antics with Sope. I hope you love this as much as I’ve loved writing it.

Namjoon and Jin had been married for 4 years when their lives changed for the better. They had wanted to adopt a child, but they hadn’t wanted to rush into it. Namjoon, being the intellectual he was, did massive amounts of research and presented all the data to Jin. After listening to all the different ways to adopt, Jin was a little overwhelmed and took a few days to think it over before presenting an idea that Namjoon hadn’t even considered.

“Joonie, what if we foster some kids first? We would be helping some that need someone, and when the right child comes along, we can adopt them.”

Namjoon had been totally on board with that idea, so they’d registered a couple of days later. They’d taken some classes, had the home inspection, and been assigned a social worker to help them get prepared for when they were needed. They had two spare rooms in their house, so they put a set of bunk beds in the larger room that had a full-size bed on the bottom. They also made sure to have extra blankets and pillows on hand, along with some age appropriate books and toys of a variety of ages.

They thought they were prepared, but they were only expecting one child. The first call they got was at 2:30 am on a Tuesday. Their social worker, Ji-ae, called about twenty minutes before arriving with 3 small brothers. The older fraternal twins, Jimin and Taehyung, had been 4 while the youngest, Jungkook, had been 2. Namjoon didn’t think he’d ever forget that night. They answered the door to see both Taehyung and Jimin with large splotches of blood across their pajama tops and tears staining their cheeks. Jungkook was terrified, his eyes large and glossy with an endless stream of tears, but he’d lunged for Namjoon as soon as he’d seen him. Namjoon had held him tightly, rubbing his little back while he trembled in fear. The twins had wrapped themselves around Jin’s legs as Ji-ae explained that they’d been in the car with their parents and a drunk driver had hit them head on. Their parents had been killed, leaving the boys without anyone to care for them.

After Ji-ae had left that night, Jin had taken Jimin and Taehyung into their master bedroom where they had a large tub and had run them a bubble bath to wash the blood off. Jungkook’s clothes were clean, but he wouldn’t even let Namjoon set him down long enough to remove his shoes. Namjoon just held him until he stopped shaking while he listened to the splashes and giggles coming from the bathroom.

Over the next few weeks, they adjusted quickly to having the boys running around the house. Despite the trauma they had been through, they bounced back extremely well with the help of an age appropriate therapist. In no time at all, Namjoon and Jin had fallen in love with them and new that there was no way they could let them go. So, over the course of 2 years, they adopted the three precious boys that had brightened their lives. Over time, the boys moved from calling them Jinnie and Joonie to calling Jin “Appa” and Namjoon “Daddy.”

Jin had always been the one who cooked and maintained the house since Namjoon couldn’t cook to save his own life. But when their babies came to him, saying, “Daddy, we wanna make Appa breakfast in bed for his Christmas gift from us. Will you help us?” how could he ever say no? So, that’s what led Namjoon to take their rambunctious sons to grocery shop while Jin was at work.

“Daddy, what is Appa’s favorite way to have eggs?” Jimin asked.

“Can we make him an omelet?” Taehyung nearly yelled from excitement.

“What’s an om-yet?” Jungkook asked.

“I think we can manage an omelet, my loves. And we can get some of that cinnamon bread that he loves from the bakery and make toast. It’s simple, but he will like it because we made it and he loves us.”

“When we go to the bakery, can I have a pup-cake, Daddy?”

“Maybe we will all get cupcakes, Kookie,” Namjoon smiled.

They had decided to make Jin’s surprise breakfast on the day before Christmas Eve, or Christmas Eve Eve as the twins had been calling it. They had been so excited about it that Namjoon was surprised no one had spilled the secret yet. Namjoon had a difficult time getting them to sleep that night. Luckily, both Jin and Namjoon were on holiday from work through the new year to be with the boys and Namjoon’s brother, Yoongi, who was coming to visit.

At 5 am, Namjoon nearly fell out of the bed. Jungkook had tiptoed in the room to wake him up to make breakfast. Instead of saying anything and waking Jin up (he was amazingly sensitive to the boys’ voices and would wake up if they began to sleep-talk from two rooms away), Jungkook poked Namjoon on the nose. When he opened his eyes, Jungkook’s face was so close to his own their noses were touching. After his initial shock, Namjoon quietly got up and picked Jungkook up and carried him to the kitchen. Even though Jungkook was 5 and the twins were 7, Namjoon picked up the boys and held them close as much as he could because he knew they wouldn’t be small forever. When they got to the kitchen, he put him down and began making coffee for himself and Jin, and hot cocoa for the boys. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook all had their own aprons from when they wanted to help Jin cook, so Namjoon helped them all tie their aprons on while the coffee was brewing and the milk for the cocoa was heating up.

“Alright, my loves. We have to remember to be as quiet as we can so we don’t wake Appa, okay?” He paused until they all nodded seriously. “Okay! The first thing we need to do is to cut up some veggies for the omelet. While I get the knife and cutting board, you pick out Appa’s favorite veggies from the refrigerator.”

The three were very serious as they opened the door and inspected what was inside. Namjoon smiled softly at them as he mixed up their cocoa and poured it into their three favorite mugs. He placed the mugs on the island for them and dropped in a few marshmallows in each cup. By the time that he’d put the marshmallows away, the boys were putting some veggies on the countertop. They’d picked spring onions, a red pepper, some mushrooms, a bit of spinach, and some leftover bacon from breakfast the morning before. Before Namjoon began chopping the pepper, mushrooms, and onions, he gave them all jobs of their own. Jimin was whisking the eggs, Taehyung was putting some pre-cut fruit into a bowl as a fruit salad, and Jungkook was waiting for the toast to pop out of the toaster so he could spread butter and jam on it. Once the veggies were chopped and ready, Namjoon grated some cheese in a bowl and heated the pan with some butter on the stove.

“So, we are to the part that I don’t think you boys can help with. While I cook the omelet part, why don’t you each make Appa a Christmas card?” Namjoon couldn’t help but giggle at the seriousness with which each of them were concentrating on their personalized cards for Jin, and he knew that they were pouring their love and appreciation into them.

In his worry about messing up this breakfast, Namjoon had called his brother in a panic a few days ago. Yoongi had laughed hysterically when he answered the FaceTime call and Namjoon begged him to teach him how to make an omelet at 3:3o in the afternoon. After a few minutes of teasing him, Yoongi had given in and taught him step by step what to do, then teased him more at the way Namjoon was frantically jotting down notes.

Namjoon sautéed the peppers and mushrooms in the butter for a few minutes before adding in the bacon and spinach. Once the spinach wilted down, he added the spring onions then the eggs that Jimin had whisked for way too long, but he had taken his job very seriously; the omelet would just be extremely fluffy. The cheese was the very last ingredient, and then came the hard part and the only part that Namjoon was terrified about: folding the omelet and getting it on the plate. But with enough prayers and begging any gods who were listening, and he got the omelet decently folded and on the plate when he could sigh in relief. Namjoon looked up and saw Jimin and Taehyung helping Jungkook, who was just beginning to learn to write, spell out all the things he wanted to say to his Appa. His heart squeezed with love and he had to close his eyes to keep the tears from leaking out. After he was able to control his emotions a bit better, he sat everything on the tray.

“Babies, are your cards finished?” he asked quietly.

“Yes, Daddy. Jungkookie just needs to finish writing his name and we will all be done,” Jimin replied.

“All done!” Jungkook announced proudly.

“Perfect. Appa’s omelet is done now too. I’ve got everything we made on the tray, but I want you to carry your cards for him. You guys lead the way, and pounce on him on the bed and wake him up.”

They all three immediately went running towards the bedroom where Jin was still sleeping and threw the door open. Namjoon walked behind them a bit slower so the coffee and orange juice on the tray wouldn’t slosh too much but made it into the doorway as Jin was sitting up and being swarmed by their sons pressing kisses all over his face. Namjoon’s heart lurched in his chest for the second time that day as Jin smiled and pulled them all into a big hug before meeting his own eyes with a dazzling smile.

“Good morning, my precious darlings! Is all of this for me?” he asked them.

“Yes, Appa! We made you an om-yet and some toast for breakfast. I hope you like them,” Jungkook shyly told him, looking at Jin with big eyes.

Jin could tell that Jungkook was nervous that he wouldn’t like the omelet, so he kissed his forehead before saying, “I bet I’ll love it because you made it for me, and I love you so very much.”

All three boys giggled and snuggled into him as Namjoon sat the tray down in front of him. “Good morning, handsome,” Namjoon smiled at him, kissing his lips gently.

“Good morning, Baby. Thank you for helping our darlings make me breakfast.”

“Of course. We all wanted to do something to show you how much we love you.”

Jin didn’t say anything in response because Taehyung cut into the omelet and held up a bite to Jin. “Appa, try it!”

He took a bite, then moaned exaggeratedly. “Yah, this is so good. You three are the best omelet makers in the world.”

Namjoon sat at the end of their bed, sipping his coffee and watching Jin eat the breakfast they’d made him and feed their children more than half of it. While he knew that the omelet was probably okay and not as good as Jin made it out to be, it filled his heart so much to see him with their boys and how well he loved them. Watching him with their sons gave Namjoon a greater gift than any of the shiny packages under the Christmas tree in their living room.

After they had eaten, Jungkook shoved his card at Jin. The card was drawn on green construction paper with a Christmas tree on the front. The inside had a picture he’d drawn of their family and a note. The note was misspelled, but you were able to figure out what he was trying to say. It said, “Thank you for being my Appa. I love you so very much. Merry Christmas,” with a big heart at the end. Jin read the card, and hugged Jungkook tight.

Jimin gave him his card next, drawn on pink construction paper “because it’s your favorite color.” He’d drawn a snowman on the front with snowflakes falling around it, while the inside had a picture of their house. Jimin had written in his perfect handwriting, “Appa, thank you for taking such good care of us and for loving us. Merry Christmas! I love, love, love you.” By this point, Jin’s eyes were shining with tears, but he was striving to hold them back.

“Here, Appa. Read my card now,” Taehyung giggled as he pushed his card into Jin’s hands. The card was drawn on white paper. The front had a beautiful rainbow on it with a Christmas present at one end. When Jin opened it up, there was a stick figure sitting inside the opened gift that had been labeled as Appa. Underneath, Taehhyung had written in, “You are the best present I’ve ever received. I love you, Appa.” When he read that, Jin made a bit of a choked sound as his emotions broke through the hold he’d kept on then.

“Do you not like it?” Taehyung asked, staring up at Jin with big worried eyes.

“No, TaeTae. That’s not it at all. I love it and I love you. I’m just so happy this morning. These are happy tears, Baby,” Jin replied, pulling Taehyung into his lap. “I’m going to hang all three of your cards on the bulletin board in my office when I go back to work so I can see them all the time.”

Namjoon picked up the tray and took it back into the kitchen, giving Jin some time alone with the boys. He did the dishes and turned off their coffee pot. When he finished, it was just after 6:25 am, and still pretty early. He walked back into their bedroom to find Jin asleep with Jimin asleep on his left side and Jungkook asleep on his right side, snuggled in close to him. Taehyung was lying on top of Jin with his head pressed against his chest, his ear just above Jin’s heart. Namjoon grabbed his phone and snapped a picture of them sleeping together and made it his phone background before climbing into bed with them and snuggling as close to them as he could get. They were his whole world.

#bts #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts scenario #bts imagine #bts imagines #bts imagination #bts fluff #namjin #maknaes as kids #bts namjin #namjin fluff #namjin as dads #bts christmas drabble #the twenty-third day of christmas

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bigmouthbadsleeper · 6 years

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Do Not Discard.

I have a weird habit of keeping things around longer than I need them. I guess that's not the weird part, the weird part is why I keep them around. Let me explain. There's this hoodie I keep in my closet. It's pretty hacked. It has bleach stains on it, and holes in the wrists where I pushed my thumbs through. I can't get rid of it because I used to wear it when I worked with my uncle in his salon fourteen years ago (YES I AM OLD, THANK YOU). Then I have these red socks with cats on them. The cats are wearing party hats, because they are celebrating the new year, obviously. I got them at Old Navy when I was in tenth grade. I don't wear them anymore, and I've tried to throw them away a handful of times. But every time I do, I can't do it. I feel like I have to respect something that was around before Y2K. For those of you born post-1998, Y2K was a thing everyone was afraid of before they were afraid of global warming and offending people. I have a number of other items that I can't throw out. A stuffed puppy my aunt sent me when I had surgery a few years ago, a rain jacket my dad used to wear in the early 80's, and books of *NSYNC trading cards (Please don't ask. Those who weren't there cannot understand). Probably the most important to me in my pile of “Do Not Discard” items, and the one I will absolutely have forever, is a dulled pair of hair cutting scissors that I used to use to cut my grandma's hair.

Some of the best memories I have from my teens are the ones from spending time with my grandma. My grandma Ingrid was my number one fan. She was always supportive of whatever I wanted to do, whether it was makeup or writing or acting or diving... she supported it all. And she truly believed that I could be whatever I wanted to be, and that I would be the best whatever it was. When I would make her a meal, she would tell me I should be a chef. When she read one of my stories, she would tell me I should be a writer. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I used to do a lot of service for her as a teen. I used to cut and color her hair for her every month. She would also send me on super top secret missions to get money out of the ATM for her. She treated most of my acts of service as if they were secretive which was probably what made it so fun to serve her. Whatever the reason, serving her bonded us in a way that we couldn't have been bonded otherwise. My love for her grew deeper each time I served her, and she eventually became more than my grandma to me. She was an example of love and forgiveness. My therapist. My cheerleader. My friend.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression on and off for most of my life. There have been times where I have harmed myself, or thought about taking my own life. I don't tell you this to scare you or to seem like a weirdo, I tell you this so you can get an idea of how truly dark my life was at times. Even with my wonderful family and the love of my savior, there were times when I felt like my life was truly horrible, when I felt lost and alone, like no one loved me, and like I would never be worthy of love. This wasn't true, of course, but that doesn't mean I didn't feel it (there is no logic in depression). Something that never failed to get me out of my dark times was serving others. I can't tell you how many times I went to my grandma's house with a bad attitude and a frown on my face, only to have it completely fade away once I gave my time to her. With each thing I did for her, her happiness grew and so did mine. It became impossible for me to be depressed or anxious, not only when I served her, but anytime I put anyone's needs before my own. It has been testified to me time and time again throughout my life that we are the Lord's hands on this earth, and when we serve our brothers and sisters, we are truly in the service of our God. I have also had the blessing of being on the receiving end of service. When my grandma/number one fan died five years ago, I was devastated. I remember sitting on my bed a few days after she passed and saying out loud to an empty room, “I can't do this without her.” At the time I really felt that way. How was I supposed to go on? How was I ever to find meaning in anything again without her here? The only thing that got me through that first week after she died was the service my family received from ward members and friends. Literally every single meal brought in, or text sent to me, or hug received felt like I was receiving it straight from the savior himself. The love I felt from the other side of the veil during that time, through the service of others, was indescribable. It was everything to me. To be served in a time of need is a special feeling, but to serve someone else in their time of need is a feeling unlike many others.

Service comes in many forms, and it doesn't always have to be church related or gospel driven. My junior year of high school, I spent my afternoons with a nine-year-old whose mother had just been diagnosed with cancer. We didn't do anything special, just hung out, talked, and laughed together. At the time I didn't really understand why this was so important, but looking back on it I am so glad that I was able to provide some relief and friendship for a young girl who was in the process of losing her mother. Service is not always fun or easy, and it requires our most precious resource- time. But the benefits and blessings of service far outweigh the inconveniences. When you serve others, you grow to love them, and often times life long friendships are made that wouldn't have been made otherwise. I can't speak about service without also speaking about friendship, because they are almost always directly linked to each other. It's almost impossible to serve someone and not grow a friendship from that service. And as with all relationships, service is a big part of any solid friendship.

I have a very vivid memory of being in first grade, alone on the playground, watching other kids play together and wanting so badly to be invited to play. I could have gone and inserted myself into kids' circles, sure, but there is something about being invited to play that makes one feel very special. I remember talking to my mom about wanting to be included in those playground activities, and what she said to me stuck with me my whole life. She told me to find someone else who is alone and be a friend to them. Not only did I take her advice on the first grade playground, I also spent my life looking for people who were alone and made them feel like they were a part of a group. On the first day of school each year I would look for people in my classes who were quiet or sat alone, and I would reach out to them. Sometimes it seemed like they hated me for it, and I'm sure some kids thought I was annoying. But I made a lot of good friends that way. There is a fine line between befriending someone and making them feel like a project, and no one likes to feel like a project, myself included. So it's always important to me that my friendships with others are genuine. It can be tough sometimes to be a good friend to so many people. Relationships require a lot of time and effort, and they are also different for each individual. Sometimes I am happy with just a text from a friend after a hard day, and sometimes I need reinforcements in the form of ice cream and 30 Rock re-runs. Humans are complicated and emotions are messy, especially as teenagers. I wish I could tell you that as soon as you graduate high school, everything will suddenly make sense, and you won't ever waste your time on dumb boys or experience loss or have a bad hair day, but I can't tell you that. If I did, I would be a liar, and not a very good friend to you. What I can promise you is, even though being a good friend to everyone seems like a daunting task, it is possible. And I testify to you that as you include your Heavenly Father in your relationships, He will guide you and help show you the best way to be the kind of friend you need to be to fit someone's individual needs.

As a senior I was called to be Laurel president, and I would always look around campus for other Laurels or Mia Maids who were eating lunch alone and invite them to sit with me and my friends. The things I did for people were never grand gestures that took a lot of time or effort or money. They were just small things that I wish others had done for me when I was sad and alone. Throughout my life I have struggled with my self confidence, and there have been periods of time where I've hated how I look or how I act, but one thing I have always been able to say about myself is that I am a good friend to people. In return I have made many special and long lasting friendships that have been a wonderful blessing to me during different points in my life. I received my patriarchal blessing at 22. There is a whole paragraph in there about the many different friendships I will have over the course of my life, and how through one of these many avenues of friendship I will be introduced to my future spouse. That proved true about a year and a half ago when someone I was friends with many years ago had a nagging feeling to introduce me to one of her high school friends. I ended up marrying him four months after our first blind date. Miracles happen, people!!

Being a good friend doesn't mean being mistreated. If you have a friend who is taking advantage of or hurting you, there is nowhere in the scriptures or otherwise that will tell you to hang around. Sometimes certain ties must be severed, and that can be a hard thing to do. I was part of an abusive friendship during junior high and high school. I had tried to break it off multiple times, but it never really stuck because I felt like a bad person if I didn't keep taking the abuse from this person. I kept thinking about forgiveness and back then I thought I wasn't truly forgiving this person if I didn't continue to let them into my life. As I got older, I learned that you can forgive someone and also remove them from your life. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you a smart person. You have to do what you have to do to protect yourself from people who aren't good for you, and you will come across those types of people all throughout your life. There is a right way to remove poisonous people from your life, and I know I sound like a broken record when I say this, but Heavenly Father will guide you to the best way to do this. He will also let you know what you can handle so that you can receive peace and comfort about ending a relationship.

Next time you feel lonely, look around you. If you can't find someone lonelier or sadder than you, then look harder. They are there, and they are waiting for you. You will find endless opportunities to serve and make friendships with others throughout your life, I promise you this. I have found some of my closest and dearest friends in the strangest of places. My longest running friendship is one that was formed in eighth grade homeroom. What even is homeroom? Does homeroom even exist anymore? Probably not, because it was pointless! Except for the time it led me to a quiet new girl named Sandee. I was also a new girl that year, only I wasn't quiet. I talked too much. I baited her by making hilarious observations about our homeroom activities, and basically hounded her until I wore her down to the bone and she was like, “FINE WEIRDO I WILL HANG OUT WITH YOU!” I was pleased with myself. I had made a new friend at my new school! I was untouchable! Nothing could stop us from ruling the whole school, and eventually the universe! Actually a lot of things got in our way, but that's not the point. She is still one of my bests to this day, and we have almost literally been through hell together. So next time you're in a less than perfect situation feeling bummed out, like the world is against you, turn to your neighbor and throw some observational humor at her. Don't be afraid if she gives you weird looks, she's probably just terrified of you! Once you show her you are not only hilarious and beautiful, but also normal, she will give you a chance. Because everyone needs a friend. Especially teenagers.

#growingup

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basketofverbiage · 5 years

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Hold On Pt 3

Here is part 3 finally! It took forever to edit because its so long. I had never planned to write a part 4, but now I think I might need to. We are finally past the angst mostly, so things are brightening up a bit.

Warnings: mentions of suicide attempt, hospitals, therapy, mentions of rape, mentions of miscarriage, shower with Jin (no funny business, all fluff)

Word count: 10,358

Part 1 Part 2 Part 4

When Yoongi had said that the boys were coming back to bring dinner, Y/n did not expect this. She had expected random takeout to suit all their tastes and just a low-key family meal. She did not expect Hoseok and Namjoon to drag a borrowed table in and cover it with a red checked picnic tablecloth and then put flowers in the middle. She did not expect Jimin and Taehyung to come in carrying multiple gift bags and Jungkook to bring soup that Jin’s mother had made. She did not expect that the boys would have brought both she and Seokjin changes of clothes either. She was totally at a loss for words and struggling so hard not to cry when Jungkook ran back out to the car and brought in the biggest bouquet she’d ever seen and his own Cooky plushie for her to snuggle. Y/n was certain that she was undeserving of the kindness and love of these precious men after what she had done. And when she opened the gift bag to see the silk pajamas in her favorite color, she cried for the million-and-first time that day.

“Noona, we just wanted to get some things that you could have to be comfortable in and have some pieces of home here with you since you probably won’t be able to leave yet,” Jungkook murmured as he hugged her tight. “We didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“Oh Kookoo, I’m not crying because I’m sad. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I don’t deserve any of this after what I did.”

“Yes, Noona, you do. We love you. You are our family. While we don’t know exactly what happened to bring this on, we know that we love you. Let us be your safety net when you are falling and your protectors while you heal,” Jimin piped up as he took his turn to hug her.

“You are so strong, Y/n-noona, but it’s okay not to be sometimes. Isn’t that what you always tell me when I’m overwhelmed?” Taehyung asked. “Let us be strong for both you and Jin-hyung for a while.”

While Y/n was being smothered in love by the maknaes, Yoongi and Seokjin had gathered extra chairs and brought them in. Namjoon had brought in a bucket of ice to go with the drinks that Jungkook and Jimin had brought to go with dinner, and Hoseok had begun dishing out the food. The boys circled their chairs all around Y/n’s hospital bed and they all ate and drank together, chattering and laughing and just being a big goofy family for a while. They had all been so worried and so scared for so long that the relief that Y/n really was okay had made them all slightly giddy.

Seokjin kept an eye on Y/n but let his brothers take the lead in her care and distract her for a little while. As everyone finished with the soup and passed around the pastries for dessert, Namjoon broke the lull that had settled on the room.

“Jin-hyung, Y/n, I just wanted to let you know that you are welcome to stay at the dorms with us for a while if you want. I know that going back to your apartment may be difficult at first, so I wanted you to know that I got Jin-hyung’s room ready for you. You don’t have to worry about anything.”

“Thank you, Joonie. We haven’t really discussed what will happen when we get the okay to leave. Y/n’s therapist will be coming in tomorrow so that we can have a long talk about everything and make plans. I want to make her transition as easy as I can. But I will have to go back. The bathroom…” Jin’s voice trailed off when he remembered the state they’d left the bathroom in.

“You don’t have to worry about anything. Hobi-hyung and I went today and I cleaned up the bathroom. It’s good as new. And Hobi-hyung tidied up the kitchen,” Taehyung spoke up gently and gave Seokjin’s hand a squeeze.

Y/n sat there in silence for a few moments before taking Seokjin’s hand in hers for some strength before beginning to talk to the boys. She told them everything that had happened, from the rape to her depression, and the culmination the day before. The boys sat in various shades of emotion from cold, blue rage rolling off of Yoongi in waves to the shock clear on Hoseok and Namjoon’s faces. Jungkook’s face was tinged red and had hardened in his attempt to keep the flashpoint of anger under his own skin, while Jimin looked worried and Taehyung looked slightly appalled.

“I just needed to tell you all everything. I didn’t want to have secrets anymore. I told Jinnie everything this afternoon, and so he’s had some time to process it all little. But hopefully my therapist will have some ideas of what to do and better management than just idle chatting from day to day and week to week. It helped some, but obviously not enough,” Y/n quietly finished.

“Y/n, thank you for trusting us with this. I’m glad you told me this. It actually opens the floor for me to tell you both what I spoke with Sejin-hyung about this afternoon. We both agreed that while there is about another month before we have any overseas tour dates or events, it is extremely important that you not be here alone. Sejin-hyung actually suggested this and I fully agree. You will be going with us when we go abroad. It may be a little overwhelming to do all that traveling, but I know you have the option to work from home on most of your assignments. You can continue with your work, just from other countries. We also discussed that instead of staying mostly in hotels, we will try to book houses or chalets in the cities we go to so that we are all nearby whenever you need us and you aren’t having to keep up with 7 different hotel room numbers scattered about a hotel. You can just step out of your bedroom and yell and we can all come running,” Namjoon explained.

Seokjin’s face immediately fell into a state of shock that Namjoon had already taken care of the request he had planned on making without even knowing why he needed it. And then he had taken it an entire step further.

“Namjoon-ah, I don’t know what to say,” Seokjin started.

“Don’t say anything. Y/n may be your girlfriend, but she is our sister. And we want to help. So please, let us.”

As the boys were cleaning up the room, Y/n stepped into the bathroom to freshen up a bit before bed. The nurses had removed her IV line earlier that day and had given her the okay to have a shower. Taehyung had brought in her shower items from home, and that helped. She would no longer smell like a hospital and hopefully she would feel less in shock and overwhelmed. In the blackness of everything she had been struggling with, she had never anticipated the boys to react this way. She honestly had fully convinced herself that Seokjin would leave her and she would lose all seven of them in one fell swoop; to think that they had gone to such efforts to make sure she felt their comfort and their love had her crying into the shower all over again. She tried to keep the sobs quiet so that they wouldn’t hear but was apparently unsuccessful because Seokjin barged in the door a few minutes later.

“Baby, you okay? I heard you crying…”

“I’m just…I didn’t expect any of this. I thought you would leave me and I would lose them too. I just…I don’t deserve any of you.”

“Oh Princess, you do. You did not deserve what happened to you when we were away, but none of us will let anything like that happen to you. In fact, if the police ever find who hurt you, we may have to lock Yoongi-chi and Jungkookie in the practice room to keep them from killing them with their bare hands,” Seokjin said.

She hadn’t noticed, but he had stripped down while she was standing with her eyes closed, forehead pressed to the tile of the small shower, and had climbed in with her. Seokjin pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead. “Let us help you, Love. You are no longer alone in this.”

Seokjin took the time to wash and condition her long hair while she cried a bit more about everything and mourned the tiny lost life she hadn’t realized that she was attached to before it was ripped away from her. After finishing slowly showering both of them, Seokjin helped her step out of the shower and dried her off himself, then rubbed her favorite amber scented lotion on her back, arms, and legs. While he dried himself more, she put on the beautiful new pajamas Jimin and Jungkook had bought her and brushed her teeth. Once they were both dressed and had brushed their teeth they stepped out into the room. Y/n still had her hair wrapped in a towel and her hairbrush in her hand, but before she could think about brushing her hair, Jimin pulled her over to sit in the chair in front of him and slowly and gently detangled her dark curls. He brushed her hair then handed the brush over to Taehyung, who braided her hair in pigtails so that it would be cute, but out of the way for sleeping. When she took it down in the morning, it would have beautiful kinky waves that she wouldn’t have to worry with styling properly.

The boys seemed to be playing a very unusual game of Hot Potato, and Y/n was the potato. As soon as Taehyung had finished with braiding her hair, Y/n got pulled over to Hoseok. Hoseok gently applied her nighttime moisturizer to her face then hugged her tightly for a few minutes. He would never tell, but he had been having flashbacks to the dried blood on the bathroom floor all evening and just needed to hug her to feel that she was really okay. He kissed her gently on top of her head and whispered something in her ear that made her smile softly and say, “I know, Hoseokie. I promise I won’t.”

Next to gather her attention was Yoongi. He had had time to settle his anger while she and Seokjin had been showering, and was much calmer than he was before. When Hoseok had finished with his time with her, Yoongi reached out and pulled her over into his lap. He hugged her tightly. “Love, it’s going to be a horrific battle from here on out. You’ve already been fighting, but by yourself. But the cavalry is here now, and we got you. Okay?” When she softly agreed, he let her up off his lap, only for her to be yanked into a tight hug by Namjoon. Y/n’s back was to the group, so only they could see the tears glistening in his eyes as he stopped being the tough leader and allowed himself to simply feel all the fear, sorrow, and relief of the last 29 or so hours. “I love you, Y/n. You are an amazing friend and sister to me. Please let us help. Please come stay with us when you get to leave,” he begged into her ear.

“I can’t promise that, Joonie-bug, but Jinnie and I will discuss it with Dr. Kang tomorrow and see what she says. If she thinks it’s a good idea, we will go from there.”

Finally, Jungkook got his chance. He had been so antsy while she was out of his sight. Y/n was the big sister he had never had and had been the first one he thought to call when things went well or if he was upset lately. So, when he had his chance he kissed her cheek then hugged her as tightly as he could. He was angry at the bastards who had hurt his Noona and it had triggered his protective streak. Jungkook did not want to leave the hospital but he knew that they all needed to go home and rest. Seokjin would stay and they would meet with Dr. Kang in the morning. She was meant to come round at 9:30 am and Seokjin had promised to call them all to update them then. So he squeezed her one more time and said, “Noona, Jin-hyung is going to be with you tonight. I want to stand guard outside the door, but my hyungs won’t let me. So I’m going home, but if you need anything, even just a hug, just call me or text me and I’ll be here so fast your head will spin.”

“Okay, Kookoo, I promise I will. Go home and sleep for a while, Baby Bunny,” Y/n giggled. The special nickname she had given him relaxed the tension in his heart a little and he felt a bit better about going home.

After another round of hugs, forehead kisses, I-love-yous, and please-sleep-wells, the six boys left Y/n and Seokjin to settle in for the night. The hospital bed was so small compared to their bed at home, but somehow, neither of them minded. The tight space was actually welcomed because Seokjin could feel every breath Y/n took and it quieted the voice that kept asking what if this is a dream and she’s really gone. It was nearly 11 pm when they were finally able to settle in for the night. Even with their nap earlier, Seokjin was so tired from the roller coaster of emotions they’d been on, and as soon as he was sure she was settling safely into dreams, he fell deeply into sleep.

Seokjin startled awake after having a strange dream about falling in a hole to find Y/n no longer in bed. At first, he didn’t think anything about it, but then he panicked a little because he had not left her side the entire time since she’d woken up. Just as he was climbing out of the bed to go look for her, she stepped out of the bathroom.

“Jinnie, it’s okay. I’m coming back to bed now. I just needed to pee.”

His heart didn’t stop pounding until she climbed back into the bed and curled up as close to him as she could get. He had a feeling that he might feel like that more than he’d like to for a while and was so glad that they weren’t leaving for tour for a bit. Even though she was going with them and he had that peace of mind, he felt like he needed her beside him constantly to make sure she had really survived. She drifted off to sleep again fairly quickly, but Seokjin laid awake for a while longer just allowing her deep breathing to comfort him enough that he could sleep again.

Seokjin woke up again when the sun was just beginning to peek in through the window on the other side of the room. Y/n was still sleeping soundly with her head pressed to his chest. She looked so beautiful in the early morning light with her lips slightly pursed in her dream state and some tiny unruly curls bursting out of her braids. She still looked a little more pale than usual, but the doctor had said that the pallor would subside after a few days when her body had had time to begin remaking the blood that had been lost. While she’d had several transfusions, she had lost more blood than they’d reintroduced, so her body would just need to remake it. The doctor had also said that she’d likely feel a little colder than usual until her blood was replenished.

The clock on Seokjin’s phone said 6:37 am. He was usually leaving for practice around now, unless they had a special event. He had just decided to try to go back to sleep when the door squeaked open and Jungkook slipped in with 3 cups of coffee and what seemed to be breakfast.

“Jungkookie, what are you doing here so early?”

“I just wanted to bring you both breakfast, Hyung, and coffee too. I barely slept wondering how Noona was.”

“ ‘m fine, Kookoo. Wha time is it?” Y/n asked as she stirred around and opened her eyes.

“It’s 6:45 am, Baby,” Seokjin told her.

“Ugh, it’s ass o’clock. Why couldn’t you wait another hour or two?” she grumbled.

Jungkook laughed at that. “Oh my precious, sweet, lovely Noona. You never have been a morning person. But that’s okay. I came bearing gifts. I brought you a caramel macchiato and Yoongi-hyung made breakfast and sent you both some.”

Y/n blinked several times trying to decide if she’d heard correctly. “Yoongi-chi made breakfast? At ass o’clock?”

“Yes. He did. He made a breakfast pie, sliced fresh fruit, and sent toast as well. You should feel special,” Jungkook giggled.

“I’m amazed that he’s not pretending to be a rock. Is he sick?” she asked.

“No, Noona. I’m not sure he slept more than I did. We both were a bit worried about you still and had trouble settling down last night.”

Before Y/n had the chance to say anything to that, Jungkook began to unpack the breakfast he had brought in and the lovely smell filled up the entire room. Yoongi could definitely cook when he wanted to, and that showed through. He had to have gotten up super early to put together the pie alone, and Y/n was very thankful for his efforts.

Yoongi had actually not slept at all the night before but hadn’t told anyone that. When he realized at 4 am that it was useless to kept tossing and turning about the bed, he got up and made coffee. As he sat sipping the liquid stamina, he had the idea to make breakfast. His mom had always made a breakfast pie for special occasions and had shown him how. If he made it, then someone could take some over to Seokjin and Y/n. In order to feed all of them, he knew he’d have to bake at least 3 pies so he got to work. The pies were finished, crust from scratch and everything by 4:45 am and in the oven baking away. Yoongi was amazed that he still felt antsy, so he began slicing up strawberries, a pineapple, and a watermelon to go with it. He had hidden away a beautiful loaf of one of Y/n’s lovely sourdough loaves in the freezer for a rainy day, so he pulled it out and sliced the entire loaf for toast. Since it had been frozen, he buttered the slices and toasted them in the oven as the pies rested before being sliced.

Their apartment smelled amazing, and one by one the boys drifted sleepily into the kitchen. The only one who seemed wide awake was Jungkook, and he wandered out towel drying his hair a bit more from a shower. With one look at each other, Yoongi and Jungkook had realized that neither had slept. Yoongi had prepared two containers with servings of breakfast to take over to the hospital but made a third quickly.

“Jungkookie, will you please take these over to the hospital to Jin-hyung and Y/n? I put breakfast for you in there too, and money for you to pick up Starbucks for you three on the way,” he said softly.

“Of course, Hyung. How did you know I wanted to get to the hospital right away?” Jungkook questioned.

“You’re the only one here fully showered and dressed, and I think you slept less than I did last night. So go on, Kookie. Go check on them and report back. And make sure Y/n eats every bite of the fruit on her plate. She needs the vitamins to finish healing.”

After they’d finished having breakfast, Y/n stepped into the bathroom to get ready for her therapist to come by, leaving Jungkook a chance to speak along with Seokjin.

“Jin-hyung, is she really okay?” he asked tentatively. “I mean, I know she’s not okay okay, but she’s alright physically now?”

“According to the doctor, yes. But we have a long way to go for her to be mentally alright. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I’m okay. When she’s out of my sight, I start to feel panicky again. That’s something I need to get under control quickly so I don’t suffocate her.”

“I think it will be understandable for a little while, but maybe we can help with that too. I want to help Noona as much as I can. I couldn’t really sleep last night because I wanted to be able to protect her,” Jungkook admitted. “I really hope the doctor says she can stay with us for a little while. I think we would all feel better if we know she’s nearby for a bit. Otherwise, we are going to take over your apartment.”

Jin laughed a bit at that thought. “Eight of us crammed in our tiny apartment would be a stretch. It might violate the fire code, Kook.”

The bathroom door opened up and Y/n came out in leggings and Jungkook’s oversized hoodie. Her hair was down from the braids and parted to one side so her bangs laid loosely over her forehead. She still had on her slippers and put the pajamas she had removed into her duffle bag in the closet of the hospital room. She checked her phone while Jungkook and Seokjin chatted quietly, and giggled when she saw a message from Yoongi.

Eat well, Princess! I better hear that you ate every bite of the breakfast I slaved over! -Yoongi-chi

Thank you for making a beautiful breakfast at ass o’clock, Yoongi-chi. It was lovely. The only thing left was watermelon seeds. Y/n sent the message back then sat back down on the bed beside Seokjin.

“Jinnie, you better get ready. The hospital doctor said he’d come by before Dr. Kang, and it’s already almost 8.”

At that, Seokjin got up and headed into the bathroom to change clothes and freshen up before facing the looming medical staff. Once the bathroom door closed, Jungkook began packing up the empty containers he had brought breakfast in and set them aside. Y/n jumped slightly when he then climbed into the bed beside her where Seokjin had slept and pulled her into a hug.

“Noona, I just needed to hug you tight this morning. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about you and worrying. I mean, I know Jin-hyung was here and would take care of you, but I wanted to be here too. I just feel extra protective of you now that I know what happened. And I’m sorry for that. I might drive you crazy with checking on you for a little while until everything settles down.” Jungkook paused for a second before adding, “Hell, who am I kidding? You are about to have 7 overconcerned guard-dogs for a little while, so I hope you will tell us to give you some space if you need it. I just know that with all of us worried, plus Sejin-hyung too, we might be a bit much to handle. But hopefully, if you can stay with us, we will be close by enough that we won’t be constantly bugging you. Has anyone called your office to let them know what is going on?”

“I’m actually not sure. With today being Saturday, I am usually off today and I had taken yesterday off.”

“Is there anyone I can call for you? I think you will need a bit more time away from work, and I’d be happy to run any errands you need,’ Jungkook offered.

When Seokjin walked out of the bathroom, his heart gave a sweet lurch upon coming out to find his baby brother wrapped around the love of his life. They were talking quietly, almost like they were sharing secrets, but Seokjin could hear their conversation now that he was out of the bathroom.

“I actually called Y/n’s boss the evening I found her. She told me that you can take as much time as you need to get settled and properly ready to work again before coming back. She also forbade you from stepping foot into the office before two weeks are up except to let her see with her own eyes that you are okay,” Seokjin laughed out the last part. “She really acted like she was your mom.”

“We’re a tight little office, you know,” Y/n said with a soft smile. “We have to take care of each other.”

Jungkook squeezed Y/n one more time, then released her and kissed her gently on the forehead. “I should go. I’m in Jin-hyung’s spot. Plus, I have to report back to Yoongi-hyung how much you both ate. If he doesn’t deem it well enough, he may show up to force feed you fruits.”

Jimin sat curled up on the sofa in the boys’ apartment with a blanket thrown across his lap and his laptop propped on the arm of the sofa. He was researching the best way to help people who had lived through traumas, and wasn’t coming up with much luck. He wanted to do something tangible that he could hold in his own hands to help. Somehow, being able to see and touch something that would help would make him feel like he actually was contributing to Y/n’s healing process. She had done so much to help him heal over time and battle off the demons that rose up from time to time to shout that he wasn’t good enough or slim enough, and now he wanted to do something helpful in return. He kept finding things that said to make sure they had professional help. Y/n already had someone taking care of that aspect with her therapist and with Jin-hyung.

After reading several articles about PTSD and similar things, he realized that there may not be anything tangible he might be able to provide outside of hugs and love from time to time and just being there. While he was sure that this was something he could readily offer, he still wanted to do something special, especially if Y/n would be staying with them for a bit. That’s when the idea struck him. Y/n loved to bake. She had told him once that it helped her so much when she felt stressed out or pressured from work. He wasn’t sure what items they had in their kitchen related to baking as none of them ever bothered. If they were craving anything baked, they’d either order it from somewhere or ask Y/n to make it. The only baking items they had were flat cookie sheets that Jin-hyung put other pans on top of to make sure they didn’t overflow in the oven and the pie tins that Yoongi-hyung used to make the breakfast pies in.

Jimin spent another few minutes on Google trying to sort out all the things someone might need for baking and made a long list of things they’d need. He didn’t want to just order them online because they might not be here in time. Who knew that you needed some of these things? Like, what are pie stones? Who puts rocks in their pie? Hopefully, Y/n would know what to do with them, because they were on his list along with a special kind of mixer with a dough hook, several types of pans, mixing bowls, thermometers, and a plethora of other smaller gadgets that just seemed fun.

With his list in hand, Jimin knew he needed a shopping partner who would be as enthusiastic as he was, so he set out to find Hoseok. Hobi-hyung loved to shop and his sister liked to bake too, so if they got stuck picking something, they could always call her for help. Jimin finally found him holed up in the little studio at their apartment with Namjoon and Yoongi. They were working on arranging a rap-line only track.

“Hobi-hyung, can you go shopping with me?”

“What are you shopping for, Jimin-ssi?” he asked.

Since he’d already interrupted them, he told them his idea for something to help Y/n and his reasons. Then he showed them his list. They all seemed to like his idea, and Yoongi added a few things to his list.

“Buy the girl a proper rolling pin. I literally used a steel water bottle to roll my pie crust this morning. You also need to add cooling racks, some trivets, and a baking stone to your list. Find a square baking stone if you can. Most of them are aimed at baking pizza, and are round, but I know that Y/n uses one sometimes for some of her more finicky loaves.”

“Oh yeah! And you should buy that one mixer that comes in pretty colors. I bet they make a purple one! It won’t really match our kitchen, but who cares?” Namjoon added. He really had no idea about things needed for baking, but he’d seen commercials for stand mixers advertising all colors of the rainbow.

After chatting for a few more minutes, Jimin and Hoseok left the studio to go on their shopping trip. Just having a plan for everything made them feel like they were doing something more than all sitting around worrying, and it took the edge off the constant anxiety they’d all walked around since Seokjin had found Y/n in the bathroom two days ago.

When Jungkook got home from the hospital, he washed out the containers that he’d taken breakfast in and loaded them in the dishwasher. After seeing Y/n with his own eyes and hugging her for a bit, he felt a bit more at ease. Seokjin had promised to let them all know what the plan was after discussing everything with Y/n’s doctors. Jungkook actually felt his lack of sleep starting to catch up through the coffee he’d had that morning. While everyone seemed to be doing their own thing, he figured he could nap for a while before Seokjin called. As he started down the hall to his room, he was stopped by Taehyung calling to him from his own room.

“Jungkookie, how was our Y/n? Did she eat well?”

“Yeah, hyung, she did. She seemed okay. A bit antsy to speak with the doctors and move forward with a plan. Noona still seemed a little bit sad, but after everything she’s been through, who wouldn’t be sad, you know? I’m more worried that all of us will suffocate her to death with our own worrying and fussing over her than I am about her. Noona is strong and she’s helped all of us so much. I know she will be able to bounce back eventually. It’s just going to take some time.”

“Yeah. How do you think we can help best? I know hugs and just listening and stuff, but I don’t want to overwhelm her. We are 7 men, and men are the ones that hurt her so badly. I want her to be here with us, but I don’t want it to make her be afraid either,” Taehyung confessed softly. “That’s all I’ve thought about since she told us last night. How often we all made her hug us when we got home, even if she flinched away a little. All the times she looked so exhausted like she hadn’t slept well, and she explained it away with work stress instead of telling us that being near us was ripping open her old wounds. I don’t want to delay her healing.”

Jungkook completely understood what Taehyung meant. He’d laid awake nearly all night thinking the same thing. “I know. I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I was so angry at those assholes that hurt her, and worried about her. I seriously wanted to camp out at the door of her hospital room as a protector, but Namjoon-hyung made me come home. But while she was getting dressed and stuff, Jin-hyung and I talked about it a little. He said that he was planning to speak with her therapist about it. If she gives the go-ahead for Y/n to stay with us, he’s hoping that Dr. Kang will do a sort of crash course with all of us. Maybe meet together with us as a group and give us an idea of what to look for regarding Y/n’s emotional health and also let us know the types of things that will help and will hurt. He also said that he might discuss meeting with her too on his own to help with the trauma of finding her like that.”

“That’s probably a good idea, Kook. I know you’ve been in their master bathroom. The entire white tile floor was covered in dried blood except for the place where she was sitting. I honestly have no idea how Jin-hyung and the paramedics didn’t track it all over their house. It took nearly half a bottle of bleach to get it all up. I ruined the mop I used and a scrub brush I found under the sink trying to get it all out of the grout. Hobi-hyung nearly passed out when he saw it.”

Jungkook paled a little at the thought of his sweet Noona surrounded by her own blood. He cursed under his breath, then said, “I can’t imagine seeing that. It’s horrific in my mind, but was probably worse in person. Jin-hyung said he’d call us all later and give us an update on the plan. I was going to try to have a nap first since I didn’t sleep last night. Wanna go nap with me?”

Taehyung just nodded and grabbed his pillow then followed Jungkook across the hall to his room. He hadn’t changed out of his pajamas that morning, and Jungkook had worn sweats to the hospital that morning. They curled up together in Jungkook’s bed. Even though they all had their own rooms for the most part now, in times of stress and worry, they tended to sleep better together. During the most stressful times of their lives just after debuting, they all slept in one room, and they tended to gravitate back together because there was comfort and safety in numbers.

“Well, do you think Hobi and Jimin have bought out the entire kitchen store yet?” Namjoon asked. They had left 2 hours ago, and had promised to call when they got back to get help carrying everything upstairs.

“I don’t know. But I’ve been thinking. They are buying all the necessaries for baking except actual baking supplies. I used the very last of the little flour we had this morning. Do you think we should go buy ingredients?”

“We could. But I have a lifetime ban from the kitchen, remember? So I have no idea what goes into baking.”

Yoongi smirked a bit at that, then said, “I can make pie crust and that’s it. But we have the whole internet at our disposal. How about we start there?”

They both spent several minutes looking up recipes for things they knew that Y/n had baked before and started a list. By the time they were done, the list had 27 items on it.

“Who knew there were that many different kinds of flour out there?” Namjoon muttered as they did a final glance over the list.

“I didn’t. But there is one thing that we need to get that we can’t buy at the store. Y/n won’t use any leavening except her starter. Jin-hyung will have to get that from their apartment,” Yoongi said thoughtfully.

“We can send him on a special expedition for that later. Should we go ahead and go pick up these things?”

“Yeah, and we should probably let Jimin and Hobi know to call Tae and JK if they beat us back. But you know how Hobi gets when he shops. We will probably beat them back.”

After three hours and meetings with two different doctors and a discharge planner, Seokjin felt drained. They had gotten the okay for Y/n to leave the hospital tomorrow with the agreement that they would both meet with Dr. Kang daily for at least the next two weeks and that she would stay at the dorm with the members; while she had not expressly stated that Y/n should not be left alone, Dr. Kang had heavily implied it, so it made sense for them to go to the dorm. It would also relieve the other members. She also had agreed to meet with the rest of the group to advise of triggers that Y/n may have from the trauma, signs of things to look for, and the best way to help with panic attacks or if she started to spiral downward again. Typically, after a suicide attempt, an individual would be hospitalized for 2 weeks minimum and on strict suicide watch. However, because of who Seokjin was and the amount of attention that the hospital was starting to gain from paparazzi photographing the guys entering and leaving, Dr. Kang made an exception for Y/n. Also, knowing that she was going to be essentially surrounded by 8 mother hens (all seven members and Sejin, who Seokjin had called to arrange the meeting between the guys and Dr. Kang), it had eased the doctor’s mind considerably. Seokjin felt exhausted by the entire morning and could only imagine how Y/n felt. She had fallen asleep almost immediately after the discharge planner had left and the nurse had come in to take her vital signs.

Y/n’s head was resting on Seokjin’s chest in the hospital bed. Her breathing was steady and even, and it was a miracle to him. It was a miracle that she had survived all the things she had. His eyes welled up with tears as he thought of how strong she had tried to be for him and all the things she had suffered through silently over the months. Why had she ever thought he would leave her for something not her fault? He felt so guilty; he still felt like he had been a horrible boyfriend and like he hadn’t loved her well enough. If he had, she would have known that he would have helped shoulder all of that burden.

She was right about one thing though. If she had called him the night it happened, hell yes, he’d have been on the first flight out of LAX he could have caught. Her wellbeing trumped ARMY every time. He loved his fans, he really did, but she was a higher priority. Y/n’s very existence kept the happy, playful Jin that ARMY knew alive and going, so she came first; she took precedence over nearly anything he could think of, with his brothers and family a very close second. His own wellbeing came third on that list, but he also knew that he needed to be careful with that ruling. He needed to take care of himself to take care of her and support her better. That is part of why he agreed to meeting with Dr. Kang on his own. He kept seeing flashes of her in that giant puddle of blood when he closed his eyes, and it made him want to cling to her more than usual. Right now, Y/n was vulnerable and still recovering from her suicide attempt, so she was more willing to accept his affections. But once she was feeling better and more able to do her own thing, his constant presence and need to touch her would drive her crazy.

Seokjin knew he needed to update the members so that they could prepare for her to come home and also to alter their schedules a bit, but for the time being, he was so tired. He decided that while Y/n was using him as her pillow, he might as well nap too. In a few hours, he’d call and update everyone, but for now he let Y/n’s deep breathing lull him to sleep.

When Taehyung woke up a couple hours after curling up with Jungkook to sleep, the first thing he noticed was how quiet it still was around the dorm. It was 2:34 pm according to his phone, and everyone was usually up and doing their own thing by now. It was rarely ever this silent in their home. Just after checking the time on his phone, Jungkook’s phone starting ringing on his bedside table.

“Kook, wake up and answer your phone,” Tae grumbled, shaking him hard to wake him up.

Jungkook moaned then grabbed his phone. “Hello? You’re where? Oh. Yeah, we can come down. Gotta pee first though…Okay. Bye, Hyung.” Jungkook sat up on the side of the bed and stretched before tossing his phone aside.

“Get up, Hyung. We have to go down to help Hobi-hyung and Jimin-ssi carry some stuff up. They’ve apparently been shopping for Noona.”

While Jungkook headed off to the restroom, Taehyung went into his room and slipped shoes on and grabbed his key to get back in. Then, he grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge in the kitchen to sip on before heading down. By the time Jungkook came out of the bathroom, he’d drank half the bottle. Jungkook finished the bottle off in the elevator down to the parking garage. When they got to Hoseok’s parking space and saw both the backseat and the trunk full of bags and packages, they were both a little surprised.

“Did you buy an entire shop, hyungs? We’re going to have to make two trips!” Jungkook exclaimed.

Jimin laughed, then explained, “I wanted to buy everything Y/n would need for baking, then realized our kitchen has no baking utensils. So, I made a list from searching on the internet of things she might need. Yoongi-hyung and Namjoons added a few things to the list, then while Hobi-hyung and I were out, we got some recommendations from a nice grandma at the shops and called both our moms and Hobi-hyung’s sister.”

Even with all 4 of them carrying as much as they possibly could, it still took 3 trips to get everything upstairs. Then, it took a solid hour to unpack the bags and put all the different items out on the counter. Jungkook snapped a picture and sent it to Seokjin, captioned, “Did Jimin-ssi and Hobi-hyung forget anything Y/n needs for baking here at the dorms? They bought out two whole shops.”

Namjoon and Yoongi had thought that going to a regular supermarket would be enough, but some of the items on their list were missing. Was buckwheat flour really something that had to come from a specialty store? And why is powdered milk so expensive? They were shocked at the cost of some of the bread-baking ingredients. They had never really considered how much those ingredients were or that they were even used. Namjoon had figured that the nuts and dried fruits for her granola recipe and some of the extracts might be a bit pricy, but the flour surprised him. She’d been spending loads of money on baking for them. They made so much more money than she did that Yoongi felt a bit like they had been robbing her. If any of the seven of them wanted a specific baked good, they just asked Y/n and the next day she’d show up with it. He felt a bit guilty about it since occasionally he’d ask for something extravagant just to tease her, and she’d make it anyway. Like that special dark bread he’d had when they had been in Berlin. Somehow, Y/n had recreated it perfectly. He had looked up a recipe and the list of ingredients was insane, including unsweetened chocolate, coffee, fennel seeds, molasses and rye flour among the list.

After around 2 hours shopping and 3 different shops later, they finally made it home and called Jungkook and Taehyung to come help carry everything up. Jungkook laughed when he saw what they had, and said, “I don’t know where we are going to put all this. Jimin-ssi and Hobi-hyung bought out 2 shops and they’ve eaten our kitchen.”

Even with that warning, Yoongi was shocked by the sheer volume of kitchen gadgets covering their kitchen island and most of the counter space. Thankfully, he and Namjoon had planned ahead a bit and had rearranged a shelf in their pantry to house nothing but the baking ingredients. They had also bought multiple canisters for storing the different flours and other dry ingredients that all had a chalkboard space for labeling the contents. With the help of the others, Namjoon and Yoongi were able to transfer them all to the pantry on their designated shelf. After they were finished, Jungkook snapped a photo of the shelf as well and texted it to Seokjin too. The caption on this one was, “Namjoon and Yoongi bought out the baking section of the supermarket and at least one specialty store. They decided that Jimin-ssi and Hobi-hyung were not going to outdo their efforts. While they were all out conquering shops, Taehyungie-hyung and I had a fabulous nap.”

When Y/n opened her eyes after crashing, the clock on the hospital room wall said 6:00 pm. She moved carefully so as not to wake Seokjin, who was still sleeping. After climbing out of the bed to use the restroom, she stopped for a second just to appreciate how beautiful he was even in sleep. How did I ever get so damn lucky, she thought to herself. She used the restroom, then washed her hands and brushed her teeth before stepping out into the room. Seokjin’s phone started vibrating on the bedside table as she was closing the bathroom door.

“Jinnie, wake up, love. Your phone is ringing.”

Seokjin startled awake then grabbed his phone. “Hey, Namjoon-ah. Yeah, we just woke up. No, I haven’t seen any messages from JK yet, but I’ll check them. Oh, okay. That works perfectly. We can update you when you get here then…See you soon.”

Upon hanging up the call, Seokjin mentioned that the guys were just parking outside the hospital and that they were bringing dinner. Y/n watched in amusement as his mouth dropped open and his eyes got wide. “Those boys have lost their minds,” he mumbled. “Well, Baby, you sure are in for a surprise tomorrow is all I will say.”

Before Y/n had a chance to question anything, the boys came crashing in the door with a variety of take out containers and beverages. Taehyung was also carrying another bouquet of flowers, which he shyly handed over while kissing her on the cheek. With Seokjin’s help, they wrangled up the table they had used the night before and placed out the chairs that had been stacked in the corner of the room. After spreading out all the different takeout boxes, they all just picked around at the random things spread out; while they had each chosen a specific meal, everyone just ate off of everyone else’s plates anyway, so they needn’t have bothered. After the silly dinner chatter quieted down, Seokjin filled in the group about the meetings with the doctors and the plan for Y/n’s hospital discharge.

“Namjoon-ah, Sejin-hyung will be calling you to let you know about the time for the meeting for everyone with Dr. Kang. I may or may not be in that meeting since I’ll be meeting with her daily. We also all will have her phone number in case we need it. For the first 2 weeks, Dr. Kang has said that she doesn’t want Y/n to be alone for extended periods of time. Now, while that means that we will all be hovering a bit more, Y/n is allowed 30 minutes maximum at a time alone. Y/n is an introvert, so she needs time alone; besides, going from living with one busy man to living with 7 busy men may be system shock for her to an extent and she’ll need time to process that,” Seokjin explained.

They all seemed perfectly okay with that idea. Hoseok and the maknae line were all loudly excited until Yoongi shushed them by reminding them where they were. After a bit, the group cleaned up everything and left to return home to finish their preparations for Y/n and Seokjin to return to the dorms.

Little did they know, they guys had begun preparing a small party to welcome them. In fact, Taehyung and Jungkook took a detour before returning to the apartment to buy party decorations. They didn’t buy a ton of decorations as they wanted to make a banner themselves, but they did buy some brightly colored streamers and some tastefully colored balloons and a few lightly scented candles to place around the kitchen and living room. Y/n had sent the three bouquets of flowers the boys had brought plus the two bouquets sent by her office home with the boys, so Jungkook also bought several vases to split up the larger bouquets. Then there could be flowers scattered throughout the apartment. The final stop they made before returning home was for a few gifts from the two of them. The others had already gone all out, so they wanted to have special gifts as well.

The night passed quickly, but the discharge seemed to take forever. Dr. Kang had come in and met with Y/n and Seokjin before they could leave and did a full couples therapy session as a preparation for the upcoming weeks. After nearly an hour and a half of time with Dr. Kang and then a final hour-long examination from the hospital doctor, they were finally able to leave with discharge papers in hand. Namjoon had arranged for a car to pick them up and bring them to the apartment since Seokjin had ridden in the ambulance to the hospital and his car was at their apartment. Seokjin knew he’d have to go back to the apartment to pick up more clothes for the both of them and some other items, like their laptops, but Namjoon had assured that they should have most of the things they’d need for a day or so. They’d have time to settle in before returning.

Seokjin still had a key to the group’s apartment because he’d stay at the dorm from time to time when they had schedules at odd hours or if they flew home from overseas promotions in the middle of the night, so they didn’t have to knock on the door. Since Namjoon had arranged the car, Seokjin texted him to let him know that they were on their way. When they arrived, Seokjin unlocked the door and carried their bags in. He initially didn’t pay attention to the state of the room until he heard Y/n gasp. Then, he looked up and his mouth dropped open. There were royal purple balloons taped up in several places throughout the living room and a giant banner that said, “Welcome Home, Noona! We Purple You!” strung above the entrance to the kitchen. All 6 of the other members were standing in the entrance way with helium balloons and royal purple roses in their hands.

“Surprise?” Jungkook called out softly.

“Oh gosh, guys. You didn’t have to do this,” Y/n choked out, tears streaming down her face.

“No, but we wanted to, Noona,” Taehyung said, pulling her into a big hug. “Don’t cry unless they are happy tears. We are just getting started. You haven’t even opened presents yet.”

“Presents?”

Seokjin laughed heartily at that. “The boys got a little excited, Baby. I hope you are ready to drown in their affection.”

At that, Yoongi stepped forward and took Y/n by the hand. “We just wanted you to feel at home here with us. So we bought a few things so that you can do some of the things you love while you are here.”

When he led her into the kitchen, Y/n cried harder. Nearly every available surface was covered in bakeware. Just at a glance, Y/n saw a royal purple professional grade stand mixer that was still in the box, a set of glass mixing bowls, stainless steel mixing bowls, a flute pan, a baguette pan, whisks in multiple sizes, liquid measuring cups in three sizes, silicone baking mats, a baking stone, and loaf pans in 4 sizes ranging from individual to large. Y/n was in shock a bit, and was struggling to speak.

“This isn’t everything,” Namjoon said softly with a smile. He took her by the hand and led her into the pantry. “You have your own shelf, Y/nie. Yoongi-hyung and I tried to get as many ingredients as we could, but if we forgot something, let us know and we’ll go get it for you.”

Y/n was sobbing by this point. These beautiful men had spent so much time and money on equipment that they probably didn’t even understand the use for just so she would feel at home with them. She pulled Namjoon into a tight hug and croaked out a thank you, then grabbed Yoongi next.

“I just wanted to get something that could help, Noona. You told me once that you bake away your stress, and none of us bake, so we didn’t have anything you’d need. So, Hobi-hyung and I went shopping,” Jimin said gently when Y/n pulled him into a hug.

“Get over here, Hopie,” Y/n said through her tears, and squeezed him tight. “Thank you so much.”

“There are still more presents, Noona. Come sit down please,” Taehyung called from the living room.

Y/n moved toward his voice still in a state of shock and with tears streaming out of her eyes. Seokjin’s eyes were glassy too at the kindness of his brothers. The photos that Jungkook had sent had not done this justice; seeing it all spread out was overwhelming at best. Once they were sitting down, Taehyung and Jungkook pulled out a big beautifully wrapped box and a smaller box.

“Which do you want first, Noona?” Jungkook asked.

After thinking for a few moments, Y/n said, “The smaller one?”

Taehyung giggled then handed her the smaller box. Y/n took a moment to unwrap the lovely silver wrapping paper. Inside the box, there were 8 rings of varying sizes. She looked up a little bit perplexed.

“So, these rings are special. Do you see the pretty blue one in the middle?”

Y/n looked at him and nodded before looking back down at the rings.

“These rings are special. They are all connected together. The blue one in the middle is yours. When you wear it, it will be connected to all the others by Bluetooth on our phones. There is a ring for each of us as well. There is a small button on the underside of the rings. If we push those buttons, we will be able to feel your heart beating in real time. The same works with yours, except you will have to press your button a certain way for each of us. They have been programmed already, and I have a list of the special codes for each of our rings for you. All we have to do is connect them to our Bluetooth,” Taehyung explained. “Now, as long as we each are wearing our rings, you will be able to feel us with you no matter where you are. You never have to feel alone again.”

Taehyung took a moment to distribute the rings to each member. They were all slightly different and suited each one’s style, which amazed Y/n. How in the world had he made this happen on such short notice?

“Okay, now for my present. It’s much simpler, but I think it will help,” Jungkook said, plopping the box in her lap.

“Kookoo, it’s heavy! What is this?” Y/n pondered out loud.

“Open it and find out!”

After unwrapping the dark purple paper, Y/n opened the box to find a soft purple blanket.

“It’s a weighted blanket. I have a friend in Busan who has panic attacks, and she said that she has one and it helps so much when she is anxious or afraid. I’m hoping it will help you on your bad days. While we will always be there for you too, I know that sometimes you will want to be the strong one and try to deal on your own, and this is for those days.”

Y/n pulled him and Taehyung both into a tight hug. “Thank you both so much. I don’t know how to thank you enough.”

The rest of the evening was spent with Y/n and Seokjin trying to settle in a bit while helping the others to put away the bulk of the kitchen gadgets and running the new bakeware through the dishwasher. Y/n was so incredibly touched by the heart of these 7 men and kept pinching herself because she kept thinking she was going to wake up from a dream.

Y/n was a little bit overwhelmed the first few days. She was not used to being around other people constantly and it was a little bit exhausting. Luckily, she found that when she was starting to feel that way, Yoongi would shoo the others away and take her to his studio. He liked to work in silence, and he was an introvert too, so he understood how loud the other guys’ personalities could be. Y/n savored her time with Yoongi-chi; she would curl up on the couch and nap, read, or play games on her phone for a few hours until she felt better.

The other member that seemed to constantly surprise her was Namjoon. If he noticed she was getting overwhelmed and Yoongi wasn’t around, they would put on hats and face masks and Namjoon would take her on a walk through the park near the apartment. When they were walking, Namjoon wouldn’t say anything. They would just slowly stroll down the path by the river and breath for a bit. When he was sure she was calm, then he’d start to chat with her. Without her knowledge, he actually used the rings that Taehyung had bought to measure her heart rate. He could tell when she was stressed without her ever having to speak up.

Seokjin was her strength. When she had nightmares and woke up screaming, he held her gently and sang to her until she settled down. He cracked jokes when he could to lighten the atmosphere and make her laugh. He went to therapy on his own for a while to learn better how to help her and to help himself, then went with her too when she needed it. On the days that Y/n nearly choked with fear, he guarded her from the other guys and shielded her from their worry and attention. And the day she hit her knees in the practice room from the pain of having lost her baby, he was there to hold her and kiss her and slowly piece her heart back together with his love.

There were days that Y/n was so angry that she needed to get energy out. Jungkook was her go to those days. He’d take her to the gym with him and let her beat the hell out of a punching bag until she felt better. He’d offered to spar with her once and had learned quickly that it was a bad idea. She landed a great left hook to his side and he hadn’t blocked in time; she felt guilty for several days after seeing the bruise she’d left behind and refused to spar with him again after that.

On the days when she had way too much nervous energy, then she baked. While he couldn’t help, Jimin would sit on a stool at the island and fetch ingredients for her out of the pantry. It always amazed him how she’d take a few things and make a dough. Bread was her go to on those days because bread dough loves abuse. She could punch it, slam it down, and smack it around, and the more she did, the better it would turn out. Jimin had to keep an eye on her sometimes though. After she had baked 8 loaves in one day, Jimin had to make her stop baking. He marched her out of the kitchen to the bathroom and handed her a bath bomb. After he heard the hot water start, he cleaned the kitchen and camped out on Seokjin’s bed until she came out. The soak in the tub did wonders for her and she settled down. After that, she’d talk as she baked and be careful not to overdo it.

Taehyung was a softer soul at times and acted as her music therapist. The days when melancholy threatened to swallow her whole, Taehyung would come up to her and say, “Hey Noona, have you heard this song?” He’d distract her with a variety of random music he found, and they’d curl up on his bed and share headphones and talk music for hours. After a while, the sounds would soothe her heart enough that her mood would shift.

Hoseok was the living embodiment of hope. Everyone knows that, but to Y/n he was also joy. Dark days with Hoseok meant going and taking over the practice room and booting anyone else in there out. Hoseok would lock the door and put on the goofiest songs he could find and they’d do the silliest dances they could come up with. Y/n nearly lost it the day he started their “HopeY/n Dance Therapy Session” with Baby Shark. But it always helped. At some point in their silliness, at least one of them would fall in the floor in a pile of laughter. Afterward, there was a bit more light in her world and a little less darkness.

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