#preesh submission

[dumbdomb]

big preesh to the... [checks notifications] three mutuals who understand and love me as the Dominant Bottom Pillow Princess that i am.

EVERYONE ELSE READ THIS RIGHT NOW:

Dominant: A person who exercises control – contrasted with submissive.

Bottom: One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner.

Pillow Princess: A person who wants to receive sexual pleasure but is not interested in giving it.

Read more bdsm vocabulary words here.

Read an article about pillow princesses here.

[magnecalliope]

Thanks Russ, big preesh. XD

Character Building Questions

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

Talc stretches the truth about how powerful she is as a deity frequently, in whichever direction benefits her the most or is the most funny.

Stiles fakes orgasms.

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word ‘friend’?

Artemis is super hesitant about calling someone a friend, even if he would consider them one.

Dolly only considers and calls Stiles his friend. Stiles has other friends besides Dolly but they aren't throwing the word around or anything.

Killdeer refers to anyone that's not actively trying to kill him as his friend.

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Dolly tends to be more submissive in any given situation than is called for. He freezes up when corrected and doesn't really know how to respond until the subject is changed.

Killdeer tends to miss hostility cues from growing up in the relative safety of a vault.

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

Artemis is a survivalist out of necessity more than preference. Just because he has an encyclopedic knowledge of the names and uses of the Mojave's flora doesn't necessarily mean he wants to use it.

Stiles dislikes sex despite being a camboy.

Dolly does not in fact enjoy the sexual harassment that comes with being a Robo Fizz working in a maid cafe.

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

The Complete Tragedy of Lord Egbert

Your feedback has inspired me to craft an entire story for Evil!John so here you go.

After the game, John Egbert tries to go back to living a normal life, only to discover that he can’t. He’s literally worshipped everywhere he goes, so just living in a normal house is out. He tries to distract himself from that by hanging out with his friends, but he can’t help but feel like he’s third wheeling. Between Rose and Kanaya being all lovey dovey and Dave and Karkat always being this fucking close to just kissing already, John can’t help but feel awkward. Even Jade never seems to fully focus on him. He figures he shouldn’t hold it against them and decides to make new friends instead.

This similarly doesn’t work out. Vriska is now focusing on patching things up with Terezi, while the other trolls just show no interest in him. The Alpha kids are similarly focused on fixing their relationship kerfuffle, not to mention Jane’s Dad tends to bring up painful memories, causing John to spontaneously leave. John eventually decides to isolate himself, figuring that his friends will visit once everything is in order, but it never happens. He’s still invited to parties and such, but he’s always just… there. He’s hardly even acknowledged or talked too. No one pays him any mind.

Constantly neglected, John is just left to fester. His old life and everything he enjoyed doing is gone. Gone. Gone forever. Every second of every day forces that thought to sink in. He’s left staring out the window and pondering. Everyone else got a happy ending, why not him?

He decides to fix it. Using his Retcon Powers to mess with Doomed Timelines, he tries to see if it’s possible to get a happy ending. It is…. but not without screwing over someone else. There are timelines where he and his friends talk daily, only for most of the trolls to die. Timelines where he ends up friends with everyone, only for Dave or Dirk to end up neglected. Each time he thinks “No, I can’t do that. That wouldn’t be fair to them.” He eventually settles on trying to find a way for everyone to get a happy ending and goes scouring Paradox Space for an answer. The conclusion he comes to is that he needs to control the narrative so that everyone lives happily ever after and begins planning to accomplish just that. It’s only after studying as much of Paradox Space as possible that he puts his plan into action. 

Knowing that his friends wouldn’t approve of his upcoming actions, he decides to distract them to keep them out of the way. He just occasionally sinks a city or obliterates and a planet with a storm to keep their attention. It’s okay, once he controls the narrative, he’ll just undo it. No harm done. In the meantime, he travels across the multiverse gathering as many heroes as he can. Whether they be random players (“Hey, I’m John Egbert, Hero of the Multiverse! And I need your help!”) Or alternate versions of himself (“I’m you from the future! No time to explain! Follow me to the secret basevand join the resistance against evil!”). He also begins gathering up some of Caliborn’s followers. He claims to be Lord English, having possessed John as a last ditch effort to survive his death. In order to never be defeated again, he needs his followers to gather up various JuJu artifacts to increase his power.

Eventually, he sends his Heroes against a Lord of Breath, claiming him to be a threat to the Multiverse. They defeat him and lock him away, giving John opportunity to use his JuJus to absorb his powers. With newfound power, John adopts the moniker Lord Egbert, mostly as a front to appease the LE worshippers. Lord Egbert promises his newly dubbed Egbert Armada that he’ll gather them all again once another threat to the Multiverse is found and then orders LE’s apostles too gather more JuJus. He repeats the process continuously, absorbing the powers of several Lords and Muses with intent on becoming the most powerful being in Paradox Space, strong enough to eventually bend the narrative to his will.

Eventually, some of the more cosmically aware players in his session, such as Aradia, Terezi, and Rose, become increasingly aware of something related to breath becoming dangerously powerful in the outskirts of Paradox Space. As such, John needs to step up his distractions. He find the ancient Beforan Empire and starts pulling strings. Playing to Beforan Feferi’s ego, claiming she’s the only one “kind” and “wise” enough to show humans the way. Meanwhile, he frames Beforus for the atrocities he commited in the Alpha Timeline and leaves them to sort things out. After all, Beforus is huge, but it’s no Alternia. They’ll only last so long against a bunch of God Tiers.

Eventually, Dave figures out something is wrong with John and confronts him, leading to a similar scene to the one you dipected. Dave travels back in time to meet up with John before he starts slipping into his funk and the two begin gathering up players from past, present, and future to defeat Lord Egbert. Will they succeed? Or will Lord Egbert get his Happily Ever After?

Personality wise, I’d compare Lord Egbert to Hank Scorpio from The Simpsons. Kindly chatting up a friend and colleague one minute, blowing up bridges the next. Look up the episode “You Only Move Twice” or even just Hank Scorpio to see what I’m talking about. He’s hilarious, friendly, and utterly ruthless in equal measure.

In conclusion, Homestuck^2 would’ve been better if John Egbert was the main villain, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

—

Mod Sky: DUDE OH MY GOSH I NEED THIS TO BE A THING I NEED THIS TO BE A THING - FANFIC OR COMIC OR OTHER, I LOVE IT!

Dude.. christ, this is absolutely amazing! Not only did you give a method to HOW he’d to ultimate BUT you also gave him a strategy to do it all!! You also gave him a sad backstory AND good..ish morals to stand by, dude you achieved it ALL here! I cannot stop going back and rereading things, gosh.. Like the comparison to Hank is amazing, at first I couldn’t remember so I had to look it up but as soon as I saw the dude’s face I knew and gosh dang it dude you’re correct.

There’s so much I can say but I’m gonna be honest; I want John to win. I’m not biased! As much as I love John and just automatically want him to succeed, I want him to win because I want a bad guy to win for once, they have their reasons just as much as good guys do so why not? Besides, it would make for a GREAT story, don’t you think?

I would like to personally thank you for this evil!John anon, for writing this all out and for sending it to us I preesh it SO much honestly! If you can make something of this I would be on it in a FLASH, I swear! So thank you so much.

P.S. I love the name Lord Egbert! It’s.. perfection :D

EDIT: This post was NOT submitted by me, it was submitted by Evil!John Anon!! I don’t know why it says me

[thewatchau]

Bread in Tandeli

Bard’s Note: This AU content was created by @theshapeshifter100​​for the country of Tandeli! If you’re not sure what that is, check out this post.

Unlike in Duilintinn, Tandeli does not make a Lambas style bread. Given that Tandeli grows wheat and barley they make bread out of those grains. Barley is also more commonly used for beer, malt whisky and animal feed, so barley bread isn’t as common as wheat bread. That said neither of those alcohol types are as popular as wine.

A lot of times its plain loaves or even cones, although shaped bread isn’t uncommon. You’ll find shaped bread to be quite common across the country. Animal shapes in Tierra Eticora, geometric shapes in Tierra Mélgica, complex knots and fantastical creatures are common in Tierra Creagín, and you’ll find a wide variety in Tierra Catuela, magic and mundane creatures, knots, twists and more.

For special occasions these become even more elaborate and complicated. Bread that can be torn in places and shared with large groups.

Every now and again you’ll find breads made of nut flour like almonds and hazelnuts, but that’s not common. They’re a bit more expensive.

To add to this, you can put in dried fruit and nuts, jams and jellies into the centre. The latter two are very popular in Tierria Mélgica.

[thecabbagecrow]

I gotchu fam

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[savturn]

Hey Savvers! Dunno if this one went through last time, so I'll try again ;3;

You are, so amazing. You make me happy every time I see you on my dash. You're so strong and brave and creative and incredible, and just- you're amazing, Sav.

Thanks for being here

💖

// AH I DIDN'T SEE THIS BEFOFE THANK YOU SO MUCH ;;-;;

[spaceiplier]

Here’s a drawing I did of darkiplier/ madapriel (did I spell his name right lol)! The shading didn’t come out quite as well as I wanted it to but I’m proud of it none the less! Hope you enjoy!

[sin-abon]

Here’s some pics of my pets and a picture of my adorable little brother for if you still have bad anxiety

[danieldaie]

"Art comes in many forms. This time, it comes in the form of our bodies."

My submission for the #unusannus collab project: Day 73!! 🖌️

Watch the video here!!

Big preesh to @unus-annus-collab for putting all of the art and music together!!

[askyancy]

ART WEEK

OOC: Hey folks! A while ago I asked for submissions for an askyancy art week! Asking for users to give a message with their submission to all of you followers on the blog! These arts are for you! That being said, please do not repost, reuse, copy or take any of these works. They belong to their creators! All creators have been credited, please go check em out give em a follow and some big preesh! Give them your comments and let them know how awesome these works of beauty are!  Thank you to everyone who submitted and to the folks who didn’t make it I hope you can on the next one! 

By @fadesinthelight​ 

I've had such a great time with this server in the last few weeks. I'm very new to roleplaying and it's been real fun, everyone has been so kind and supportive to each other. And oh boy, the story. The yangst. The drama! The romance~. It's been one wild ride and I'm so excited to see where it goes <3 Enjoy some infirmary buddies, having a soft moment in the midst of all their drama. These two. So cute. I love them.

By @mayelamker​

By @mayelamker​

"Sometimes family is a grumpy prison warden and a gang of friendly misfits and criminals. Thanks to these guys and the stories woven around them, I got to meet some wonderful people. I'm not a very social person but I'm trying, and seeing everyone just hang out, exchange, yell randomly just makes my day~~ I can't wait for more shenanigans and I'm excited for what's to come"

By @hawkeye221b​ 

For those unaware, Hi- I'm Hawk, the worried one who helps the mun look after everyone in the discord with our other awesome mods. Happy Trails and this blog... they're important to me, because I'm accepted, quirks and all. I love being here, sending asks, makin jokes and having a generally good time. I know i've said this to yancy IC, but i really do mean it when i say I don't have many friends and i value the ones i got. This lil blog and server? I'm proud to be a lil mamma hawk, cause this is family.. this is MY family. I think I've rambled enough... so i'll leave yall with this: family is what you make of it, and friends can be the strongest family you got. If you're not in the server yet, we'd love to have you. if you wanna keep watchin from the sidelines, that's okay too. I'm just happy to be here.

By @tinywyfrost​

"Favorite moment so far for me would have to be the snowball fight the inmates and guards participated in. I would’ve loved to participate in it as well but I would've run risk of getting arrested for trespassing and I don't want that lol. Aside from that, this place is one of the only places i feel at home on Discord and I love the community here. <3"

By @smolliplier​

I just want to say thank you to the Mun and everyone who's had a part in this crazy adventure thus far. I can't describe how welcoming and unbelievably fun this little community is, and how much it's inspired me. I can't wait to see how this story unfolds ♡

By @historicalhuman​

I absolutely loved when Yancy discovered his sexuality, and how lgbt+ friendly this blog and the discord is- so here’s a little representation of that moment. Remember, y’all are super valid!!

[thehooliganhangoutspot]

(Submission) The Preesh Pose Forever! 🤗🤗☺️❤️

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

The Fiendish Friend Firmament

Okay, so, here are all the Evil BFFs that have joined Lord Egbert’s posse. Also some headcanons with them.

Dark Dave

This Dave comes from a timeline where all the other Beta kids died during the final battle against Lord English. This results in him not bonding with Dirk as he did in our timeline, as he shut himself off from everyone to mourn for awhile. Dave tries to move on by happily marrying Karkat and he becomes much closer to Kanaya thanks to both mourning Rose. The problem is, they’re both mortal. Dave insists on trying to de-age them forever with his time powers, but Karkat shuts him down. His last wish is for Dave to try to move on from everyone’s deaths and keep living a happy life.

Dave tries to do just that. The problem is that he avoids making any sort of connection to the Alpha Kids. Jake looks uncomfortably like John, and Dirk exists, which shuts down any interest Dave has in getting to know them and their social group. Combine that with him not even being able to find the Troll God Tiers after all these years, and he has no fellow immortals to relate too. Because of that, Dave gets himself caught in an unending cycle of finding a new mortal love, spending their life with them, outliving them and feeling that pain and heartbreak all over again. He ends up going into each relationship increasingly aware of just how mortal his new beloved is, but he keeps throwing himself into these relationships in an effort to move on like Karkat would’ve wanted him too.

It finally escalates to the point where he tries using his time powers to keep his latest loved one alive forever against their will, causing them to abandoned him in shock and disgust once they find out. After that, he finds himself tearfully spilling his heart out to Karkat’s grave. Then Lord Egbert shows up and Dave nearly bowls him over with a hug. Lord Egbert tells him about his idea to give everyone a happy ending by taking over the narrative, and Dave buys into it wholesale.  He’s just a heartbroken mess who wants to see his friends and loved ones again at this point.

Headcanons

The name “Dark Dave” was given to him by Lord Egbert. Dave thinks it’s cheesy and stupid, but he refuses to change it because it sounds like a name his universe’s John would give him.

The other members of the Fiendish Friend Firmament always call him Dork Dave when they want to tease him.

Kinda unintentionally serves as the heart of the group. If the team ever gets morally hung up about their actions, they just remember a story Dave told them about one of his past lovers and decide to keep going. 

Lady Lalonde

This Rose comes from a universe where she never went grimdark, as she ended up losing the crystal ball early on. As such, she has no reason to distrust the Horrorterrors. So, when Kanaya dies of old age after the game, the Horrorterrors offer to resurrect her, in exchange for Rose summoning them into her universe. Rose does so, and the Horrorterrors hold true to their word. They then proceed to devour all life in the universe, leaving only Rose and Kanaya alive.

Rose is completely devastated with guilt and she quickly sets too work with Kanaya to undo her mistake. Their attempts to recreate life fall flat, as without a matriorb, that’s simply outside their realm of expertise. Nevermind how the presence of the horrorterrors has warped the laws of nature, making new life potentially impossible regardless. Their attempts to destroy the horrorterrors directly are similarly met with failure. They’re simply too powerful for a single Seer of Light to vanquish on her own.

After decades of failed attempts and false starts, Lord Egbert shows up with Dark Dave. Working together, the four of them manage to wipe out the Horrorterrors. John makes his offer afterwards, stating that he can undo her mistake once he gains narrative control. Kanaya is hesitant, as it was Rose bargaining with powerful forces to revive a loved one that got them into this mess to begin with, but the two eventually agree. After a group hug. 

Headcanons

Rose chose her villain name herself, after finding out that Dave and John were doing it. She was originally going to go with something more meaningful, like Complacency or Lovecraft, but Kanaya talked her down. Kanaya does not have a villain name, as she finds the concept rather silly. (“Why Are We Calling Ourselves Villains At All? We’re Trying To Fix The Multiverse.” “Acting like supervillains helps us get the angst out of our system. Also, it’s fun and sounds cool.”)

Kanaya still totally calls her Lady Lalonde though. And Lord Egbert never stops trying to get her to accept the name Mad Madame Maryam or something. She’s not about to accept a nickname from someone called Lord Egbert.

Rose is the recruiter whenever John can’t step up to task. She knows exactly what buttons to push to get people on their side. 

She tries to dissect John and Dave’s psyche past their “dramatic supervillain” act, but finds imagining her friends having their lives slowly fall apart to be too difficult to think about. So she joins them in their tongue in cheek supervillain act. It makes it easier to disassociate with their actions.

Harleyquinn

This Jade is from a timeline pretty similar to ours, with one key difference. The fight against Lord English was going terribly. The trolls had already been completely wiped out and the humans weren’t fairing much better. In an act of desperation, Jade combines her powers with that of a dying Calliope to trap herself in a black hole with Lord English. Jade has the ring of life on to keep English from simply killing her, and Calliope’s last act is too give Jade her powers in order to keep English contained forever.

Lord English kills Jade repeatedly, slaughtering her in every creative way he can imagine. But Jade refuses to budge, heroically meeting him with a smile each time, knowing her friends are now safe. So, LE switches tactics. He begins attacking her mentally, telling her in detail how her sacrifice has effected her friends. 

He brutally describes how miserable her friends are in the new world, how badly they miss her and how their grief tears them apart. He describes John’s isolation and downfall into depression. He describes how Rose and Dave tinker with the dark arts in an attempt to get her back, despite knowing the dangers of it. Sure, part of that has to do with the deaths of the trolls, but English puts it all on her. He gloats how it’s her fault Rose summons the horrorterrors and their friends get butchered because of it.

Just as Jade is about to give up, Lord Egbert and his posse arrive. They kick English’s ass and John absorbs his powers. John makes the same offer to Jade and Jade accepts. Yet again, cue group hug.

Headcanons 

Jade is the one too suggest the name Fiendish Friend Firmament to the group. John loves it, Dave thinks it’s lame and “ironically” votes in it’s favor, and Rose and Kanaya think it’s silly but still choose to support it.

Jade is a Stepford Smiler, full stop. She masks her guilt complex by acting extra helpful and nice and is actually the most ruthless of the team. She’s desperate to undo “her” mistakes, despite never being able to stop those tragedies from happening. And, sense John will just fix everything in the end anyway, she thinks any actions she takes to that  point are justified. Prepare to witness a lot of atrocities done on the face of a barely upheld cherry facade.

She also made costumes for everyone. Luckily, Kanaya revised them to look less garish. 

General Headcanons

As the leader, John makes it his responsibility to try to help everyone cope with their trauma in the interim between world domination plans. So, he has everyone dive wholesale into the supervillain act to try to keep their minds off of everything. He writes everyone villain songs and even gets them to all sing one together at one point. I can totally see them singing Ways To Be Wicked by the Descendants or I’m The Boss by Big Bad Bosses. 

There are times where these four just… stop to play video games. They drop all the world domination talk, crash on the couch, and pop in a movie or a game. Kanaya snuggles with Rose when she joins them, while joining Rose in criticizing the plot of whatever they’re watching or playing. Dave keeps a running, ironic commentary going, Jade joking chastises them for ruining the fun, and John sushes everyone because he’s unironically into it and loves whatever they’re watching. Then everyone falls asleep on the couch after a few hours of just… being normal kids.

…Well, this got way more angsty than expected. 

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

Connection Terminated

I’m sorry to interupt you Elizabeth, if you still even remember that name, but I’m afraid you’ve been misinformed. You’re not here to recieve a gift, nor have you been called here by the individual you assume, although you have indeed been called. You have all been called here, into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labirynth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don’t even realize that you are trapped. Your lust for blood has driven you in endless circles, chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach. But you will never find them, none of you will. This is where your story ends.

And to you, my brave volunteer, who somehow found this job listing not intended for you, although there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that’s not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be. I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered and the memory of everything that started this can finally begin to fade away, as the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still, and give up your spirits. They don’t belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although for one of you, the darkest pit of hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don’t keep the devil waiting old friend.

My daughter, if you can hear me, I knew you would return as well. It’s in your nature to protect the innocent. I’m sorry that on that day, the day you were shut out and left to die, no one was there to lift you up into their arms, the way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you? I should have known you wouldn’t be contempt to just disappear, not my daughter. I couldn’t save you then, so let me save you now.

It’s time to rest. For you, and those you have carried in your arms. This ends, for all of us. End communication.

beep

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

Ok. I resent it. Did you get it this time ~ Evil!John Anon

I still didn’t get it.. :(

What the heck is going on..? If you wanted you could get it to me by other means and I can just post it to the blog If this keeps up, that is

[wepreeshjohnegbert]

Did you get my submission? ~ Evil!John Anon

I uh.. didn’t :(

I don’t know if something went wrong? Or if something else happened? But I didn’t get an email about it and I didn’t receive anything either, I’m sorry

[spaceiplier]

I have drawn a markimoo and jackiboy. I’m honestly really proud of this. This is my first time drawing ears after a long while, and also I love how I made it soft. So I’m glad with how it came out.