#you are a GENIUS!!

[sickfreaksirkay]

“no rapping tonight"

why?

"you rap about arthurian knights everytime, it's embarrassing"

ok

[after one beer]

uh oh y'all i go into a trance a lot

[owldart]

They figured he was an angsty TEEN not an angsty THIRD GRADER

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[hansoeii]

stede bunnet

[hamletthedane]

Still laughing at Brian May offhandedly writing the greatest understatement in the history of academia in his astrophysics doctoral dissertation:

Ah, yes - “various pressures.” Like being one of the greatest guitarists ever and playing/writing/singing for the most legendary rock band of all time.

Those various pressures.

[fincherly]

my gf was looking through wesker's wiki page (as you do) and sent me this

and i lost my shit bc it just seems like they're looking at him like girls look at a weird bug

[nataliescatorccio]

CHAPPELL ROAN Attends the Video Music Awards September 11th, 2024

[i-ate-the-rats]

hehehehe oh shit indefinite sad dark shadow (⊙ˍ⊙).

[a-sneaky-bagginses]

Gimli, who went through standard dwarf education: "We'll need to be careful to elevate the head and monitor 'is blood pressure for the next few hours."

Legolas, who grew up in the woods surrounded by other weird ass Mirkwood elves: "...Why don't we just ask the moon to fix him?"

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i vote that next year instead of reading Dracula we do a Jeeves & Wooster Book Club. those two never got the rabid tumblr shipping fandom they deserved (disqualified for the sheer technicality of being published a century too soon). we must correct this injustice

[a-bisexual-panicking]

zeus is a psychopath. orpheus is a singer. eurydice dies in the first episode. no one listens to cassandra. caeneus is trans. everyone is gay. this show is perfection.

[rosy-thorneded]

Examples of jokes I think Danny would make daily, but I haven't managed to write them into any of my fics yet:

Sam: Could you pass the remote?

Danny: You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Danny hands it over with no fuss.

-

Tucker: Hey, pass the ketchup

Danny: Over my dead body!

Danny arcs the ketchup over his head as he passes it to Tucker.

-

Jazz, calling through the house: Danny?! Where are you??

Danny on his bed: ON MY DEATH BED

-

Danny walking into any room, anywhere, at any given moment: this place is haunted

The joke is that it’s him. He's the ghost haunting it. Sam and Tucker hate this one because of how often he says it.

-

Goes ghost before he uses the phrases "You killed me" or "I'm dead" when something is funny.

-

Jazz whacks him over the head. (deserved)

Danny goes ghost the second her hand makes contact: MURDERER

-

Jazz: could you help me with-

Danny: I can't. I'm dead.

-

The classic "I guess I'll die" gag.

Tucker: You should probably go deal with that ghost, huh?

Danny: I guess I'll die

Goes ghost and flies off.

-

Dash: How about you eat shit and die

Danny: Well, I've already done one of those things.

Dash: D:

-

Sam, could be talking about literally anything: I would rather die

Danny: Same.

Sam: -_-

-

Sam: Danny, what did you do?!

Danny, who messed up: .....Deadmen tell no tales.

-

Danny, anytime anyone accidentally wakes him up: you're being loud enough to awaken the dead.

-

Danny: Paulina looks so pretty today

Sam: Seriously? You still have a crush on her? You know she'll never like you back.

Danny: you're being necrophobic

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...

(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

this had me thinking about katsuki and his ability to turn things that can be viewed as sexual into the total opposite

like you guys are sucking faces and he’s leaving hickies on you but it’s not because he’s horny

instead, it’s because those forms of physical affection are so much more intense, and intensely is the only way katsuki knows how to show his love for you

wait...CUS YOU ATE DOWNNNNN

i spent like five minutes just kickin my feet at this bc omg???? you're so real.

katsuki is such an intense person and of course he's gonna bring that over to the relationship because he does not do anything without giving it his all. and you make him feel so intensely that he just has to be 10000000 times more intense than usual , ya dig ????

so he bites your lip when you're making out n sucking faces and he's basically crushing you with how tight he's holding you because he lowk hopes you won't realise how hard and fast his heart is beating. and he's so mushy n in love that the only way he can show much he cares is to put semi permanent lil marks on your skin, it's like the physical proof of how much he cares,,ya know??

and i feel at first he'll feel a lil bad cus its a heat of the moment typa thing and he's just SOOOO embarrassed i just know 😭 afterwards he'll poke at them n mumble a quiet little "doesn't hurt right.. ?" scanning along your face super intensely to see if you're actually not in pain n then he"ll mumble an uber quiet lil "m'sorry.." into your shoulder,,the stinky </3`

he's still just a lil embarrassed about it but you don't mind cus you get it and as long as you don't mind he's doin it !!! and honestly if you put some on him he'll be giddy about it on the low but he'll act like he's unfazed,,, which doesn't work cus he's fuckin' beet red.💀 when he gets a look at them alone tho he smiles just a little bit <3

(like thats also why like katsuki being a biter not only cus hes a little shit but also because you make him feel so much and he sucks at saying it so he shows it by just chomping on you. <33)

anyways this is so real and true and you're a genius. gonna go squeal into my pillow now.

[annoyingboing]

what in the rom com did i just watch

[azrail-has-a-vendetta]

I think I need a “Kid Tim Drake gets kidnapped and held for ransom but his parents don’t even pick up the phone so now these criminals are like whelp, this kid is ours now. Sucks to suck.” Fic.