#preparing a double update to make up for the radio silence

[sarcasmandships]

honey and glass part 2 ~ spencer reid

i move to new york but i can’t seem to escape spencer reid 

spencer reid x reader angst + hurt/comfort (sorta, it’s all in first person but with no names/no specific descrptions)

word count: 15.4k (got a bit carried away lol)

read part 1 here!

disclaimer: i do not ship jeid or think they had any chemistry but it’s a good opportunity for angst x

it’s snowing in new york.

i groan internally, resting my head in my hand as i stare out the window.

it’s half past six and most of my co-workers have already left for the night, but i’m still trying to mentally prepare myself to venture out in the cold.

“hey!” agent cole greets me as he flops into his chair at the desk next to mine, a mountain of papers in his arms.

“hey,” i mumble in response, “you’ve got a small rainforest there,” i motion with my head to the folders he has now spread across his desk.

“yeah, the bishop is laying it on me thick this week. you make one mistake in this place and its paperwork, paperwork, paperwork for a month. i need to get through this by lunchtime tomorrow.”

i pause and glance out the window again. i really hate the cold.

“i can give you a hand if you want-”

i’m about to suggest that he hand me over half of his files, but before i know it agent cole is leaping to his feet and flinging on his coat, “you are a lifesaver let me tell you that, god bless fitz for bringing you over from quantico!”

he’s scooping up the folders in his arms and dumping them onto my desk.

“oh! i meant that-”

“thanks again, really appreciate it!” agent cole cheers and before i can protest he’s already past the double glass doors and clambering into the elevator, he gives me a wave as the doors slide closed in front of him.

“no problem…” i say to myself.

i shuffle into the breakroom and put on a fresh pot of coffee, i’m going to need it. i fill up a mug and envelop my hands around it as i sit back down at my desk, the heat from the coffee warms my numb fingers enough to hold a pen between them. i make a start on agent cole’s paperwork.

it’s a few hours and many cups of bitter coffee later when agent fitz appears from his office, he’s wrapping a thick, wool, scarf around his neck when he passes my desk and pauses.

“you’re still here?”

“yeah…paperwork,” i say, pointing to the pile of folders i don’t even seem to have made a dent in.

he raises an eyebrow, “your file said you were efficient, but i didn’t think that even you had the ability to fill out paperwork on cases we haven’t even worked yet.”

i laugh nervously, “what do you mean, sir?”

“well, my role as assistant unit chief to agent bishop involves ensuring that all agents are up to date with their paperwork, so i know that all of your cases have been written up, reviewed and filed. so you either have some kind of psychic ability that allows you to predict your future cases and do their paperwork, or this isn’t yours.”

i can’t tell from his tone whether he is annoyed or amused.

“right,” i nod slowly, “see the thing is sir, agent cole had all of this paperwork to do and i offered to help him, only he thought i was offering to-”

“to take it all?”

“yes, exactly. agent fitz, sir.”

he takes a sharp intake of breath in through his nose, “i think that agent cole knew fine well what you meant.”

“what? then why would he-”

“can i give you some advice?”

“y-yes. of course, agent fitz. go ahead.”

“you’re a very nice person, but you’ve been here six months now so you don’t need to worry about making a good first impression anymore-”

“i’m not,” i say defensively, “i just wanted to help out a fellow agent, we used to do it at the bau all the time-”

he gives me a look.

“sorry for interrupting agent fitz, sir.”

“you’re not in quantico anymore honey, this is new york. so my advice to you is to stop being so nice, because i hate to be the one to break it to you but agent cole has taken advantage of your niceness big time here.”

“so your advice to me is to be mean because right now i’m too nice?”

“not mean, just firm. agent cole was given the extra paperwork as a consequence of his own actions, and because you’re too nice, you’re still at the office filling out reports while he’s relaxing at home.”

“be less nice, got it,” i nod and stare down at my hands, unable to believe that i fell for that, i’m supposed to be a profiler, “thank you, agent fitz,” i smile at him.

“just call me fitz, everyone does,” he says as he begins to unwind his scarf.

“what are you doing? you’ll freeze out there without that-”

“we’ll get through this in half the time if we split it,” he shrugs, “i’m gonna grab a coffee, do you want one?”

i jump to my feet, “it’s okay, i can get the coffee-”

“have you forgotten my advice already?”

i can feel the heat flooding to my face, “don’t be too nice, got it,” i sit back down again and twirl my pen.

“see, you’re learning,” he lifts my mug from my desk, “any cream or sugar?”

i shake my head.

he nods and moves into the breakroom.

i let out the breath i didn’t know i was holding. i’d been here sixth months, i thought i was finally fitting in. everything was different in new york, the way of working, the people, the humour. something that would’ve sent spencer into a fit of giggles back in virginia would only earn you a concerned stare here.

or maybe that was just spencer and i’s sense of humour, we got looks back in quantico too. but it was okay because i was with him. it had been six months and the promises of texts, phone calls, emails and letters had withered away.

jj was the only one i still regularly heard from, we called every week.

there was the occasional text from morgan, and garcia.

emails from hotch and rossi.

but from spencer, it was radio silence. i told myself it was because he was a technophobe, and he hated texting on that tiny little phone of his.

“the buttons are too small,” he’d complain.

yet my suggestion of him updating to a modern model was ‘out of the question’, i understood he didn’t like it, but i didn’t understand why he wouldn’t make the effort.

maybe i would’ve confronted him about it if i’d had the nerve, if i wasn’t too nice.

“there we are,” fitz says, placing a mug of steaming coffee in front of me.

“thank you, agen-,” i pause, “thank you fitz.”

he smiles and takes a pile of papers from my desk as he sits in agent cole’s seat.

too nice, the words echo in my head.

if i hadn’t been so intent on being the nice, sweet, helpful new girl i could be at home by now. granted my tiny apartment wasn’t much to go back to, but it was something. i had a chance for a fresh start here and i wanted to be the girl that people liked and respected. i wanted things to be different but i’m just as spineless as i’d been in qunatico.

all honey, no glass.

“you’re leaving?”

“yeah.”

“when?”

“two weeks.”

spencer gets up from the couch and storms away from me, he stares out the window, “so you’re leaving your job in the bau - one of the most sought-after jobs in the bureau - to work for the counter terrorism division in new york?”

he almost sneers ‘counter terrorism division’ at me and i’m taken aback. the spencer in front of me isn’t the spencer that i love, i close my eyes and tell myself that he’s just being defensive. i’ve known him long enough to recognise his abandonment issues.

“why are you saying counter terrorism like that? like it’s a step down for me? because it’s not. it’s better hours, better pay-”

“cost of living is higher in new york city!”

“and my new salary will be more than enough to cover it! they’re also helping me with moving expenses, helping me find an apartment – they really want me over there, spencer,” i run a hand through my hair, “do you know what that’s like for me? to have someone want me so much that they’d pay me 20% above the standard salary-”

“so this is about money for you then?” he says bitterly.

“no! it’s about someone valuing me and what i can do. it’s about someone thinking that i’m good enough and giving me the chance to prove that to myself.”

 “and what, you think that we don’t value you?”

 “i didn’t say that spencer, i’m just saying that i have a chance to excel over there and be a better agent. i’m a good profiler, but i’m not a great one, even you can see that. i’ll be happier when i’m finally in an environment where i don’t need to put myself down and compare myself to everyone around me.”

 “please stay,” he pleads, “can’t you stay for me? everyone is leaving or dying. please, you can’t leave me too.”

 spencer reid is standing in front of me with tears in his eyes begging me not to go, and i want nothing more than to rush to him and promise that i will never abandon him. if i hadn’t already signed a binding contract, i would probably be in his arms now.

 i shake my head, “i’m sorry spencer, it’s already been decided. i’m only staying these extra two weeks to give hotch a chance to find someone else, i didn’t want you to be down two agents.”

 spencer clenches his fist, “i can’t believe this is really happening. jj left, and now you’re leaving too. emily hasn’t even been dead a month and-”

 “you think i don’t know that? you think i just forgot that emily died? you aren’t the only one suffering here spencer! agent fitz brought up transferring to me over a year ago, i called him up about it before jj left for the state department and i was meant to go to new york weeks ago!”

 i close my eyes and take a shaky breath before i can bring myself to continue.

 “and then emily died. and i stayed because we were all grieving and i wanted to be close to you guys, but i can’t put my life on hold forever, i can’t expect agent bishop and agent fitz to keep the job open for me forever, it’s time for me to go.”

 “why didn’t you tell me any of this sooner?”

 “because emily’s death hit you really hard and i-”

 “no, before that. you said that you were planning this before jj left, why did you wait so long?”

 “because after i called agent fitz i needed to do interviews and go through another round of interviews and interrogations, they’re really strict on security over there. it took weeks for me to even find out if they would grant me the security clearance required for the job, i wanted to be sure i was going before i said anything. and then jj left, and i was getting ready to go when emily needed help with doyle, and i told myself i would stay for once more case and then-”

 i have to stop because there’s a lump in my throat and my body is trembling. the memories of emily’s death are still so fresh in my mind, i want to curl up under a blanket and never come out when i think about her corpse, rotting away under the ground.

 “please don’t go, i need you,” he says, not even trying to disguise the way his voice cracks.

 i shake my head, “no you don’t.”

 he doesn’t. he has morgan, and hotch, and garcia, and rossi. and most importantly jj. i know that when he’s not crying in my arms, he’s crying in hers. i know the only nights he chooses me over her are the nights when she’s busy with will, or henry or something classified at the all-mighty state department.

 “yes, i do! you’re the only one who’s there for me 100% of the time, you’re the only person i can talk to about jj-”

 the only person i can talk to about jj. there we go, that’s the reason he wants me to stay. i don’t know why i’m so surprised, or why it hurts so much to hear. i should be used to it by now.

 “i can’t just hang around because you need a shoulder to cry on.”

 i must’ve let more venom slip into my voice than i intended because spencer’s face drops immediately.

 “i-i didn’t mean that, i just meant that you’re my best friend and i don’t know what i’ll do without you.”

 best friend. i can’t bring myself to respond.

 “is that what it is? are you leaving because of me? do you think that i don’t appreciate you, that i just think of you as a shoulder to cry on? because i don’t think that at all-”

 “spencer, you haven’t done anything wrong, i’m not leaving because of you, okay?”

 that’s a lie. and i hate lying to him, but he’s so busy pacing and running his hands through his hair that he doesn’t detect the guilt plastered across my face. spencer is the primary reason for my leaving, but not in the way that he thinks.

 “are you sure?” he asks frantically, “have i done something to upset you? don’t you want to be my friend anymore-”

 it’s ironic how spot on he is, whilst still being utterly oblivious to my feelings for him. i’m leaving because he unknowingly devastates me every day, i’m leaving because i don’t want to be just his friend, i want to be more but that can never happen.

 because he still loves jj. and i know that i can never be happy sitting on the sidelines of his tortured longing. i’m only trying to do what’s best for myself, but when i look at the pained expression on his face i can’t help but feel like a selfish bitch, i’m abandoning him when he needs me most.  

 “look, spencer i’m moving to new york, not australia, it’s not even that far. And we can text, and call each other and email, we can even send good old-fashioned letters if you’d prefer. this isn’t the end of the world.”

 “i think i could manage a text.”

 “really?”

 “yeah, i won’t like it. but i’d do it for you, like i said, you’re my best friend.”

 “are you okay? you look kind of zoned out” fitz asks.

 i place my phone down on my desk, “yeah i’m fine. it’s just…nevermind.”

 “hey, come on. you can tell me.”

 “i just got a call from my friend spencer, we worked together back in quantico but he wasn’t thrilled when i moved here and we never really kept up with texting or emails. i haven’t heard his voice since i left…i was just thinking about the day i told him i was leaving,” i drum my nails against my desk, “it was so long ago now, but it hurts like it was yesterday.”

 “sounds like you guys were close,” he comments carefully.

 “yeah, we were.”

 “so what did he want?”

 “um…him and my other old colleagues, they’re planning a surprise wedding for jj. she’s my best friend, she works with them too.”

 “are you gonna go?” he pauses, trying to gauge my response, “i mean you haven’t been back to virginia since you took the job.”

 i nod, “i know, i didn’t even go to see emily when she came back to life,” i say, my voice mixed with bitterness and guilt.

 fitz reaches over and takes my hand, “and we prevented a potential biochemical attack that week, and a bomb in the subway the week after, and a potential hijacking the week after-”

 i roll my eyes lightly, “i get the point, fitz. we’re always busy saving lives, but i don’t know if that’s a good enough excuse for being such a shitty friend.”

 “they work even crazier hours than us, i think they’ll understand,” he pauses, “i also think that you’re making excuses, and there’s a different reason that you don’t want to go.”

 “i thought i told you not to profile me.”

 “it doesn’t take a profiler to figure out there’s something going on, i’m willing to bet it’s the same reason you wanted to leave in the first place.”

 i smile sadly at him, “you got me there, fitz. i’m in love with my best friend, but he’s in love with the bride, who happens to be my other best friend. only he isn’t the groom.”

 i feel sick at the thought of watching spencer watch jj get married. he is exceptionally good at pretending to be happy, and i’m sure he’ll have the others fooled. but none of them know that he’s in love with her, they don’t know that his feelings evolved to anything beyond a silly, little crush.

 i feel sick at the thought of watching him slap a smile on his face, and shake will’s hand, and make a toast. i don’t doubt that there will be a part of him that is happy for her; the thing about loving someone the way i love him and he loves her is that is that seeing them happy gives you this sickly, jittery, joy.

 it makes your heart race and your hands tremble, and it feels almost like happiness. but its sticky and catches in your throat like honey so you can barely choke out the words to convey how fucking happy you are for them. even honey attracts flies.

 “shit,” fitz says.

 “yeah, shit.”

 all honey, no glass.

 it’s jj’s wedding.

i wanted fitz to come with me but he couldn’t get out of work, we were swamped at the moment, but he’s still insisted that i go. he drove me to the airport and practically forced me through security, and now i was standing in the kitchen of rossi’s mansion as emily refilled my wine.

i took a sip of it and smiled at her. she was the one good thing that had come out of this trip so far, i hadn’t seen her since she came back from the dead and i had been so worried she would resent me for not coming to see her sooner.

but instead she offered to pick me up from the airport and let me stay with her for the weekend, she really was a good friend. i missed my old friends, and it was nice to see everyone again. but i was already exhausted from avoiding spencer and jj hadn’t even arrived yet.

i was drinking my wine far too fast, relishing in the warm euphoria it granted me. it allows me to float through the rest of the evening, i help jj pin up her hair when her mom brings her own wedding dress for her to change into. i wipe her tears when she stares at herself in the mirror. i tell her she looks beautiful, and she really does.

i don’t speak to spencer until the ceremony is about to begin, i squeeze in next to him and mumble my hellos. he doesn’t respond and i know it’s because he’s focusing all of his energy on keeping himself together, i wrap my hand around his and squeeze it gently.

he has tears in his eyes when will and jj kiss, and so do i because i am watching him watch her and i can see his heart breaking with every micro expression. my heart aches for him because his world is falling apart in front of his eyes and he has to pretend to be happy about it.

when jj turns her head i see how widely she is grinning as she clings on to her new husband. spencer sees it too because something in him shifts and i see that sticky, artificial happiness bubble to the surface and before i know it he has dropped my hand and rushes to congratulate the happy couple.

i hang around emily and morgan for most of the night, she keeps my glass full and he doesn’t tease me about my defecting to another division. i know they know something is going on, but they don’t question me about it and i am so grateful for it.

i excuse myself from their company when i see spencer sitting slumped on the patio alone. he’s half hidden behind a pillar but i can see his feet sticking out so i shuffle over to him, my mind dizzy with wine as i take a seat beside him.

“hey.”

“hey.”

“are you alright?” i ask.

he nods stiffly, “fine, just tired – it’s been a busy week. how are things in new york?”

i sip my wine, “yeah not bad, just busy…” i say, my voice trails off and i mentally kick myself for failing to think of a better word, “spencer, can i ask you something?”

“yeah,” he says flatly, “why not.”

“okay…” his dulcet exterior makes me hesitate but i force myself to continue, because fitz told me to grow a backbone and i don’t know when i’ll get that chance again, “i was just wondering why you never called me, or texted, or emailed. we were best friends before i left and now you feel like a stranger to me.”

he shrugs and takes a swig of beer.

“is that all i’m gonna get? a shrug,” i scoff.

i know that he’s upset about jj, my heart is bleeding for him and i understand better than anyone how he is feeling. but even i can see that i deserve more than a shrug from him after a year of no communication.

“spencer, i know how you’re feeling but-”

“no you don’t,” he snaps.

i bite my tongue.

“i want to be here for you spencer, but i can’t do that if you’re going to be a mood-”

he titled his head to look at me, his eyes are dark and empty, “if you wanted to help me so badly then why did you leave?”

i open my mouth to speak but he raises a hand to silence me.

“you want to know why i didn’t call you?” he slurs, “because i was pissed at you, everyone was leaving and dying, and you left too. and then emily came back and everyone was acting like i was crazy for being so angry about it, and you weren’t here,” his voice splits, “i know it’s not an excuse and i’m sorry if i upset you but not having you here just hurt so bad and somehow texting and phone calls made it hurt more.”

i pause, “are you trying to say you missed me so much that you couldn’t call me?”

“like i said, its not an excuse but-”

“no, it isn’t” i spit.

i’ve never been angry at him before because any of the hurt and heartbreak he inflicted on me was unintentional. but now something is burning in the pit of my stomach because he ghosted me for the best part of the year and the best excuse, he can come up with is that it hurt him too bad.

“how do you think i felt spencer?” i hiss, “when i was all alone in another state and my best friend wouldn’t return my calls? i spent so long feeling guilty for leaving you but you weren’t alone. you still had everyone else, i was the one who was alone. you had jj and-”

his grip on his bottle tightened, “i didn’t have her, she was lying to me about emily and then even when we made up from that things were never the same…” he holds his head in his hands, “i’m trying to be happy for her but it just hurts so much…”

he wipes his eyes, “i’m sorry, i should be asking you about new york, not making you listen to the same pathetic sob story that you’ve heard a hundred time before.”

i wrap an arm around him, “spencer, trust me i know how much it hurts but…it’ll get better, okay? one day you’ll get over her, and you find some genius, scientist girlfriend who loves you back and then you won’t hurt anymore.”

“how do you know?” he croaks.

i sigh, “because you might love jj but she just isn’t right for you, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find someone who-”

he shakes his head, “not that, you keep saying you understand, and you know hoe much it hurts – but how do you know?”

his eyes are wide and teary, and he hiccups as he stares at me. i have to look away because the blood is pounding in my ears, i feel dizzy but its not just from the wine. we’re outside in the cool air but i feel like i’m burning up and i recoil away from him.

“spencer, that’s not important-”

“yes, it is. i wanna know. i wanna know how you think you know how i feel to the extent you can give me advice-”

he’s drunk.

“and tell me its all going to be okay, but you don’t know that! because how could you know what i’m feeling-”

he’s raising his voice now.

“spencer, you need to be quiet. someone will hear you-”

“i need to know what gives you the right to tell me that i’ll find love when you don’t even know what-”

“i know what it feels like because i am in love with you!” i finally snap, the words slip out before i can stop them and i slap my hands over my mouth, “oh god…i didn’t mean to say that….”

spencer is staring at me blankly, but slowly his stoic expression begins to melt into one of pity and sympathy. i can see his brain working overtime behind his beautiful honey and glass eyes, thinking of all the different ways he can let me down easy.

he opens his mouth.

“you don’t have to say anything,” i squeak, “i didn’t mean to say that…so stupid…can we please just forget about it?” i plead.

“d-did you mean it? you love me?”

his pitiful stare burns through me and i can’t stand it. i would rather have him glare at me with pure hatred in his eyes than this agonizing brand of sympathy, it makes me feel sick. my legs are shaking, my hands are shaking, my whole body is shaking and i realise it’s because my chest is racked with sobs.

i nod, “i-i mean it,” is all i manage to choke out.

his arms are wrapped around me, and in any other circumstance i would sink into them but now my body is rigid, and his embrace is suffocating. i can’t breathe.

i can’t breathe.

i can’t breathe under the crushing impact of knowing that i’ve fucked up a decade of friendship in less than five seconds because i couldn’t keep my emotions under control.

“i’m so sorry, you know that i care so much about you,” he says softly, “but i just don’t see you in that way-”

“it’s fine spencer,” i sniffle, “you don’t need to tell me that, i’m already well aware of that fact,” my voice is laced with far more venom than i tend but in this moment i can’t bring myself to care.

“how long?”

i’m laughing through the tears, i don’t know why because its not funny.

“ten years, give or take.”

“oh.”

oh. that’s all i get.

they say that when a burn is bad enough it incinerates the nerve endings, so you don’t feel any pain. a burst of excruciating agony and then nothingness. that’s how i feel, i’ve spent years wallowing in my own heartbreak and now that i’ve told him the truth, i just feel numb.

my sticky, sweet exterior is melting away with every passing second and pitiful glance and i don’t think i want to see what’s underneath. i push spencer’s arms off my body, and he doesn’t protest.

i sneak through the double glass doors and into the kitchen, that’s where the wine is. it warms my throat and my stomach, proving some solace from the deep-seated chill i feel in my bones.

the lights of the kitchen reflect off the glass so much that i can’t see past the glare to tell if spencer is still there. i shuffle towards the doors and press my forehead against the cool glass. spencer is gone but i like the way the window feels against my skin.

its smooth, and hard, and cold.

when your world has fallen apart, anything can be a source of comfort. and i don’t have anything left to give, so i close my eyes and rest against the chilled surface.

no honey, all glass.

the office is swarming with new recruits, they’ve descended on us like plagues of locusts and i am not in the mood for it. they’re eager and naïve as they attentively takes note of agent bishop’s words.

“…now I don’t want you to think that counter terrorism is all like what you see in the movies,” he drawls, “its not all action and defusing bombs, its patience and paperwork, careful observation and analysis – it takes more discipline to work in this division than any other in the bureau. its hard work, but it’s worth it as agents tell you,” he says, indicating towards fitz and myself.

he gives them a determined nod, i muster up a half-hearted shrug from my position leaning against the filing cabinet in the corner. i’m really not in the mood.

bishop’s phone chimes and his brow furrows ash his eyes scan the screen, “it is also unpredictable at times, so you’ll have to excuse me. but i leave you in the capable hands of my two right hand agents, they’ll be more than happy to lead the rest of the seminar,” he gives us both a quick nod before he darts out of the room.

fitz moves to the center of the room, “well, agent bishop had pretty much covered the lecture section of the session. next we are going to move onto some basic training scenarios, i will outline a situation and if you think have a strategy just shout it out, how does that sound?”

he is talking to the trainees but looking at me, he fidgets with his collar. he’s nervous, and he’s waiting for me to give him some reassurance. i force the corners of my lips to curl upwards, and it seems to give him enough confidence to continue.

he uses the remote to change the slides on the projector screen behind him and begins to list scenarios. the newbies are falling over themselves to catch his attention long enough for him to call on them. their enthusiasm and passion should inspire me, but it makes something in my stomach twist and there’s sharp anger burning through my body.

they’re all so fucking happy. so eager to see what their years at the bureau will bring them. all i got was heartbreak and rejection, but i don’t think agent bishop would appreciate me saying that so i keep my lips tightly pressed together.

“…and then i would diffuse the bomb and-”

“you would what?” i say.

the recruit shrinks back slightly when he feels my unwavering gaze shift to him.

“the scenario agent fitz gave us involved an explosive device, so my strategy would be to diffuse the-”

“that’s what the bomb squad is for, your job is to prevent the threat before it can occur, not to play around snipping wires!”

“i worked explosive ordinance disposal in the army, i would know what i was doing-”

“you aren’t in the army anymore,” i snap, “you’re in the fbi now, and we don’t have our agents running around like headless chickens during an active terrorist threat because we have rules and when you don’t follow the, people get hurt!”

“but what if the bomb squad can’t get there? surely if he has experience-” the girl next to him tries to defend him but i hold up a hand to silence her.

i laugh sarcastically, “okay. let me tell you what, next time we have a terrorism threat involving explosives i’ll tell the bomb squad that we don’t need them because i have two rookie agents who want to do things their own way. anything you’d like me to tell your families after you blow yourselves up, likely taking dozens of civilians with you?”

when they don’t answer me i give a smug smirk, “that’s what i thought,” i look over to fitz and nod, “you’ll have to excuse me, they’ve rotted my brain enough for one day,” i say before sweeping out of the room.

“why is she so mean?” the female recruit asks when she thinks i’m out of earshot.

i can feel agent fitz hesitate and i don’t blame him. i wouldn’t know how to explain to a group of trainees that i’ve been a complete bitch today because i’m bitter and heartbroken.

“she isn’t mean,” he says slowly, “she’s hard on you because she wants you to learn; its life and death out in the field and you need to be ready for anything. there’s no time for niceness and if you’re expecting that, then you’re probably in the wrong job.”

i appreciate his lie.

he makes me sound noble.

the trainees nod at his words, their eyes wide as they feed into the seamless bullshit. the stoic and honorable agent makes a better story than the resentful shrew.

i don’t want to be this way. but spencer’s words echo in my head and the breath is knocked out of me every time i picture his face, i feel like i’m drowning. it’s a dull, crushing ache across my body, weighing my limbs down like there’s lead in my veins.

i want to be honey; golden and sweet but i’m all angles and sharp edges. i’ve broken like glass and it’s only a matter of time before i draw blood. it’s easy to push people away when they’re scared of getting cut.

“are you okay?”

i jump as agent fitz creeps up behind me.

“sorry, i didn’t mean to startle you. but you haven’t been yourself and i just wanted to check-”

“are you scared of blood?” i ask.

“what?”

“blood. does it freak you out? make you feel faint?”

“no, i’m not scared of blood,” he says hesitantly.

i smile and for the first time in forever it doesn’t feel forced, “good.”

no honey, all glass.

it’s agent bishop’s retirement party.

i stand next to fitz, we’re in a circle with some of the other agents. i glug my wine as they converse, its dark and bitter and red.

“so, agent, you used to be a profiler down in quantico, didn’t you?” someone asks.

i swallow my wine, “yes, i was. that was a while ago now though.”

“do you miss it?”

i smile fondly, “every day.”

“isn’t profiling just pseudoscience?” someone snorts.

before i can even open my mouth to respond, fitz interjects, “actually the bau is one of the most successful departments in the bureau, they are responsible for saving hundreds of lives and allowing families to seek the justice they deserve.”

i nod appreciatively at him, “behavioural science isn’t empirical but more often than not we are right, like agent fitz said, we -they- are one of the most successful departments in the bureau,” i say, trying to fight the smirk creeping across my face.

“how does profiling work, can you really catch someone based on the method of killing they chose?” someone gushes.

“yes, we can tell a lot from victimology, signatures, cause of death – it’s usually symbolic in some way of their motivation for killing, or metaphorical for a message that they want to send, you’d be surprised how much we can learn from details like that.”

“interesting!”

“oh, that’s cool.”

“i didn’t know you guys did stuff like that, i might need to put in for a transfer!”

everyone laughs.

i give a half-hearted chuckle. all of my stories and experiences at the bau are tainted by him, i can’t even make light conversation at a party without my body turning numb. every memory chips away at my heart, and it’s growing more and more hollow with every beat.

“i think you need another drink,” fitz whispers in my ear.

i allow him to take my hand and lead me into the kitchen, he tops up my wine, filling it more than he probably should. but i appreciate him for it, i think he can tell i need it.

“are you okay? you clammed up right after you finished talking about your time at the bau.”

“i’ve told you before, don’t profile me,” i say, my voice sharper than i intend it to be.

“i’m not. i’ve just noticed than whenever you talk about your old job you get this look in your eyes, and you go all quiet and snap at everyone for the rest of the day.”

i drink a quarter of my wine in one gulp.

“this is still about him isn’t it?”

i shrug, “i thought i’d be over him by now but…” my eyes start to prickle and i have to console myself with another mouthful of wine.

“but?” he prompts.

“you know how jj and i call each other every week.”

“yeah.”

“well this week she told me that the rest of the team are starting to suspect spencer is…seeing someone. i don’t know the whole story, jj didn’t either. but apparently he’s been acting weird and making all these phone calls and i-”

i have to stop. i bite the inside of my cheek. he got over jj and i didn’t even know. i wasn’t even there, maybe if i hadn’t left…it hurt too much to consider the possibilities. and now there’s another woman that i don’t know anything about, at least when he was in love with jj i knew what aspects of myself to compare to her. now i’m jealous of a woman i’ve never even met.

“do you want to talk about it?” he offers kindly.

i shake my head.

“…can i ask you something else?”

“shoot.”

he looks over his shoulder and i can see his jugular vein pulse in his neck, he’s nervous.

“earlier, when you were talking about how killers leave symbolic or metaphorical clues that helps you figure out their motivation….”

i motion for him to continue.

“is that true for normal people too?”

“what do you mean?”

he runs a hand through his hair, “say you have a friend, and they as you a weird question, but it’s so out of the blue you it can’t be literal, that there has to be a deeper meaning behind it. if their question is symbolic for something else, could that indicate what their intentions are?”

he avoids eye contact with me.

“what’s this about?”

“n-nothing, nevermind. it was a stupid question anyways…” he mumbles, grabbing his beer and shuffling past me.

“fitz, come back!” i call after him, “fitz!”

he’s already gone. and i don’t have the energy to go after him. i huff and lean back against the counter, swirling around the wine in my glass before i raise it to my lips.

my hand slips, and the wine glass tumbles to the ground before shattering against the white kitchen tiles.

“fuck!”

i rake around a couple of drawers, searching for a dish towel to mop up the mess. eventually i find one and bend down to clean up the wine; the red is stark, splattered against the shiny white background.

it looks like...

“are you scared of blood?”

the words of my own cryptic question echo in my head and something clicks.

fitz.

i use a towel to scoop up the shards of glass and absorb the wine, i toss it in the sink and dash out of the kitchen in search of fitz. i spot the back of his head through a window and follow him out to the balcony, its lit by twinkly fairy lights.

“why are you out here? it’s cold,” i say, my teeth chattering slightly as i fold my arms across my chest.

i linger by the door, hoping to cling onto some of the warmth radiating outwards. but when fitz doesn’t answer, or even look up i huff and close the door behind me, shuffling over to him.

“were you asking me that stuff about metaphors and symbolism because of what i said to you about blood?”

he looks up at me but still doesn’t speak.

“fitz that was months ago, and i didn’t even mean anything by it so i don’t know why you’re reading so far into it,” i shiver, “can you just tell me what’s going on with you so we can go back inside?”

“what’s wrong with me,” he snorts.

“yes, because you’re acting really weird-”

“i’m not the one who is acting weird, ever since you came back from your friend’s wedding you’ve been like a totally different person, and then you ask me if i’m scared of blood out of fucking nowhere. what am i supposed to make of that?”

i’m taken aback from his sudden outburst, fitz is usually calm and good natured, “why are you yelling?” i snap.

“because i don’t know what else to do, i’ve tried to be a supportive friend but you’re acting totally out of character, the new recruits call you medusa because you’re so harsh on them. if this has something to do with spen-”

“i said i don’t want to talk about him!”

“well i’m not giving you the choice anymore, i’m sorry if you’re heartbroken over him, but you’re killing yourself trying to love him. do you think i don’t notice how exhausted you are? you’re working at least 30 extra hours a week and i can only assume that’s some kind of coping mechanism, and now i’m worried you’re hurting yourself-”

i squint at him, “you think that’s what i meant when i asked you about the blood?”

he nods, “well, yeah. i didn’t think you were killing people but you’re obviously angry and sad and i figured you might have needed an outlet for that-”

“yeah, i do, it’s called kickboxing fitz! i beat the shit out of a punchbag three times a week, the blood thing was…” i groan and sit down on the bench, “you’re right, i did change after jj’s wedding because i was scared of feeling hurt like that again so i thought if i toughened up and stopped being so nice and sweet then people wouldn’t be able to hurt me anymore, but…”

“but?”

“but then i realised that by being so sharp and harsh all the time then people wouldn’t want to be around me and i would be hurt all over again, and i just thought that if i made sure you would always stand by me then i’d be okay.”

he looks up, his eyebrows slightly less furrowed than before, “so, the blood thing was a metaphor for me always being on your side? cos’ if it is you don’t even have to worry about that, of course i’ll-”

i throw my arms around him and he squeezes me tightly in return, burying my face in his chest i blink back tears because the reassurance from my new best friend lifts a weight from my shoulders. but it’s a bittersweet feeling because i know he accepts it, but he doesn’t understand it; with spencer i never would’ve had to explain my enigmatic words.

with spencer i never even would’ve had to say them because he would just know. fitz is great and we make such an efficient team because we move in tandem like magnets; i move, he moves, but we’re always one behind the other. with spencer we were in sync like planets circling the sun, pulled together by an intangible force strong enough to construct a universe. at least that’s how it felt.

with spencer, we were in sync until we weren’t.

no honey, all glass.

i know that spencer and i are out of sync because when he comes to the city to deliver a guest lecture at nyu, he doesn’t even tell me.

fitz does.

he brings it up to me hesitantly after a meeting one day. since agent bishop retired, he is the new head of the counter terrorism division, and i’ve been promoted to his old job. we have tactical meetings every week with the heads of the three field offices in the state of new york to discuss any potential threat.

this week’s meeting was particularly taxing so when everyone leaves the conference room i just want to go for my lunch break, but fitz stops me to ask if i was aware spencer was in the city.

“no,” i say through gritted teeth, “i wasn’t, how do you know?”

he busies himself with some files, “i’ve been monitoring the movements of all agents coing in and out of the city-”

“why? do you think somethings wrong?”

he hesitates and loosens his tie, “i don’t know yet…i’m working on it, but i noticed that dr reid had a scheduled visit.”

“oh,” i say and try to force myself to wait an acceptable amount of time before questioning, “what’s he here for?”

my voice comes out dry and croaky despite my best efforts to appear unbothered, fitz ignores it and carries on as though nothing had happened.

“he’s giving a guest lecture to a criminology class at nyu, something about profiling…i don’t know,” he looks at his watch, “if you left now you could make it in time, professor van der woodson is a friend of mine, show her your creds and she’d let you sit in.”

i’m pulling on my coat before fitz has finished speaking, “wait…we have that meeting with that financial analyst today, he said he’d found a suspicious pattern of payments that could indicate a-”

fitz waves me off, “i got it, you go.”

i smile at him appreciatively before grabbing my bag and dashing out the door. it’s pouring with rain and it takes me forever to hail a cab, i sit in the back seat wringing out my hair with my scarf as we wait behind an immovable wall of traffic.

the cab crawls along the grid locked streets as i check my watch every two seconds, time is moving at half speed. by the time the driver pulls up outside  by by the time the driver pulls ups at nyu i’m sure spencer’s lecture will already be over.  i huff and trudge inside the building anyway, i’m chilled to the bone as i a buy myself a coffee from the cafe and find an empty seat to perch on.

i drum my fingers against the table as i sip the scorching hot coffee, i don’t really know what i’m expecting to happen. i haven’t seen or spoken to spencer since jj’s wedding, and at whisper of him being in the city i’ve spent the best part of an hour in the back of a taxi to see him. now that i’m here, i’m not sure that i want to see him.

classes are beginning to finish and the entrance hall floods with students, the volume level increases tenfold and i don’t want to be here anymore. i grab my coffee in my hand and make my way back to the front entrance when i hear a familiar voice call my name. i turn my head and i see him, he raises an eyebrow at me and begins fighting his way through the sea of students.

i freeze.

he’s getting closer with every second.

i don’t want to be here.

i don’t want to do this.

i don’t want to see him.

i turn on my heel and i powerwalk, the front door his jammed with students and if i take that route i’ll get suck and he’ll catch up to me. i spy a doorway to my left and dart towards it, breathing in a sigh of relief when i push through it and find an abandoned corridor.  

“wait!”

spencer is still in pursuit. i groan but pause in my tracks as i turn around to face him.

“are you running away from me?”

i fold my arms over my chest, “no.”

“really? because that’s what it looked like.”

“i’ve told you before to wear your glasses, if you don’t then-”

“i’m wearing contacts,” he says softly as he takes a step towards me, “i can see perfectly clearly and you’re running away.”

he reaches out an arm to touch my shoulder but i flinch away, he look of hurt that spreads across his face would be enough to break my heart if he hadn’t already shattered it.

he swallows and pulls on the cuffs of his blazer, i can tell that i’ve upset him but i don’t have the words to console him. this had been a horrible mistake. i’d dreamt of seeing him again every night since the wedding, i ran over and over again in my head what i would say and do. i never imagined that i’d be soaked to the skin and standing in front of him in a corridor lit by flickering, fluorescent lights.

“okay, so i ran away, so what?”

spencer shakes his head, “do i really make you that uncomfortable? your body language is closed off, you keep looking at the door and tapping your foot…you really don’t want to see me…so why are you here?”

i have to look away from him, “i made a mistake coming here, i don’t want to see you.”

“is this about what happened at jj’s wed-”

i hold up a hand to cut him off, “please don’t,” i screw my eyes shut, “i’ve had to relive that moment enough in my nightmares, i don’t want to do it again for real.”

“i’m sorry, i never wanted go hurt you. i just don’t fee-”

“you don’t feel that way, i get it spencer. its fine,” i look at my watch, “there’s a meeting that i really should be at…i’m sorry spencer this was a mistake, please can we just forget about this-”

“do you still love me?” he asks quietly.

i laugh.

“what’s so funny?”

“well, it isn’t funny i suppose,” i say bitterly, “it just makes me laugh that you think i could ever stop.”

“so…that’s a yes?”

“of course it’s a yes!” i look at my feet as i speak because i don’t want to see whatever pitiful look he’s giving me, “you’re my first love spencer reid, i’m always going to love you.”

i take a shaky breath and look up to the ceiling, trying to hold back my tears.

he stares at me sadly, and i know i’ve really fucked things up between us when even dr spencer reid can’t think of something to say. there’s a stagnant awkwardness and i want nothing more than to be hiding under my duvet, but this might be my only chance to get everything off my chest.

“i will always love you spencer, but i’m not in love with you anymore.”

“there’s a difference?” he says with a hint of ice in his voice that makes me flinch.

“of course there is, i love you but it’s not the same suffocating and overwhelming love i felt for you years ago. i love you but i don’t want to burst into tears whenever i see you glance at jj. i love you but i’m free from hating myself and wondering why i could never be good enough for you,” i don’t even try to hide the tears now, “spencer i used to love you so much that i couldn’t breathe, but now i can breathe on my own.”

“i’m sorry,” his voice cracks, “i didn’t know…i didn’t know i made you feel that way, if i had then i’d have-”

“you wouldn’t have done anything spencer because you didn’t feel the same, and that’s okay. you would’ve just avoided me and given me the same pitiful look you’re giving me right now which i can’t fucking stand.”

i sniffle and run a hand through my hair, “i wanted to be there for you spencer, i thought you deserved someone that loves you like you love jj, and you still do. but i can’t be that person anymore, i love you spencer but you aren’t healthy for me.”

“i never asked you to do that for me.”

“not in so many words, but when you would show up at my apartment crying over jj or emily or tobias hankel or your mother…it didn’t take a profiler to figure out that you needed someone, and i loved you so much i was willing to put your needs above my own.”

he looks at his feet.

“i don’t blame you for that spencer, i didn’t value myself very much back then and i thought that loving you was the most important job in the world,” i tug at the sleeves of my sweater, “but now i know that loving myself is the only thing that matters.”

he doesn’t say anything, he just shuffles towards and me envelops my body in a gentle embrace. i’m crying into his chest and judging by his sniffles and shaky breaths, he’s crying too. he holds me tentatively like he he’s scared i’ll shatter in his arms if he squeezes too tight.

i realise he still sees me as fragile and brittle.

no honey, all glass.

i’m finally beginning to feel like my life is coming together.

today felt like a good day.

i woke up before my alarm, had time to make myself a decent breakfast, and didn’t have to sprint to catch the subway. i got to work early and the coffee machine i had ordered had arrived, i made myself a cup of steaming coffee as i relaxed behind my desk and checked my emails. i had a light day ahead of me and thankfully no meetings.

today felt like a good day until fitz burst into my office as half past eight and slammed the door behind him.

i leapt to my feet, immediately expecting the worst, “what’s going on? is there a bomb? hijacking? what is it?”

he waves me off, “no, nothing like that,” his eyes dart between me and windows that look out over the rest of the office, he pulls down the blinds and shuffles over to my desk, “do you remember a few months ago i said that i had been monitoring the movements of agents in and out of the city?”

“how could i forget?” i say bitterly as i am reminded of the painful encounter i had with spencer, “what does that have to do with anything?”

he swallows and sits down in the chair across from my desk, “i noticed that a few of our confidential code names for active and inactive investigations were cropping up in a few of the internet servers that we monitor, so-”

“so, you were tracking the movement of agents because you suspect a mole,” i finish for him.

he nods, “at first they were names of investigations that were well known within the bureau or easy to access with a low security clearance, so it could’ve been anyone, but i’ve been supplying different code names for made up investigations to different divisions across the bureau….”

“and you’ve seen those names continuing to appear in the servers,” i run my hand through my hair, “fuck, this is bad. does internal affairs know?”

he rests his head in his hands, “it’s worse than bad, because i kept a record of which names i gave to which departments because they were all unique, and the names that came up in the servers were only given to our division.”

my heart skips a beat. he was right, this was worse than just bad. this could be catastrophic, other departments in the bureau could gain access to some of our more low-level investigations. but only members of the counter terrorist division had access to the most potent and prolific threats, if we had a mole in our department then we could be looking at disaster of epic proportions.

i collapse into my own chair, “d-do you have any idea who it is?”

he shakes his head, “no, i’ve been nagging the director about it for months but i never got a proper response until this morning, he’s sending a team to conduct an internal investigation…” he looks up at me, his eyes filled with worry and pity.

i realise what he is too afraid to say.

“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“i’m sorry, i thought they would just send someone from internal affairs, but the director feels that for someone to infiltrate our department then they must be highly trained and-”

“its fine, i get it, catching the mole is the most important thing right now,” i drum my nails against my desk, “that doesn’t mean i’m overjoyed at the thought of my old team crawling about the place and questioning our every decision.”

fitz reaches across my desk and squeezes my hand, “it’ll be okay, they’ll clear you right away and then you can get on with work, you don’t have to spend anymore time with them than necessary.”

“you mean anymore time with him than necessary,” i gulp my coffee and i don’t even flinch when it burns my throat, “when are they arriving?”

“an hour or so, they’re already on their way here and it’s a short flight,” he sighs, “it will just depend on how much traffic they hit on their way over, but we’re-”

“close to the airport, i know,” i bite my lip, “what do we tell everyone, they’re gonna start arriving soon,” i say, pulling up my sleeve to look at my watch.

its nearer nine now, and the office will start filling up soon with agents ready to start their day. there’s over a hundred agents in the counter terrorism division alone, and one of the is a traitor.

“director says we have to continue as normal until the bau team get here and they’ll decide the best course of action to take-”

i grip the edge of my desk, “so we just let them waltz in here and take over? those are our people down there, they don’t know them-”

“hey, its gonna be okay. you trust these guys, don’t you?”

i nod.

“so they’re going to find out who the mole is, and they’re not going to arrest anyone who isn’t guilty, they’re good at what they do.”

i let out a deep breath, “i know, i know. its just…i’ve been apart of these interrogations before, they ask you about everything and anything and analyze your every movement and micro expression, they’re going to question every decision we have ever made, professionally and personally. this is going to be an exhausting day,” i groan.

today felt like such a good day when i woke up, and now i was facing a waking nightmare.

fitz had gone back to his own office, like he said we needed to act like it was business as usual until the bau arrived. i had rolled my blinds back up and kept an anxious eye on the double glass doors that served as a main entrance to the bullpen.

i’d had an hour to try and prepare myself, to slow my heart rate and pull myself together enough to deal with my team of ex coworkers flying in to pick apart my department.

despite the hour i had to prepare myself, my legs turn to jelly when i see the elevator doors glide open and agent hotchner step out. fitz taps on my window as he passes my office on his way to greet them and i begrudgingly follow him out.

“agent hotchner,” he says, reaching out his hand, “thank you very much for coming on such short notice.”

hotch is stony faced as ever and gives him a brisk nod, “of course, have you told any of your agents about the situation?”

“just me,” i say, “no one else knows, but your presence here won’t go unnoticed for long,” i motion back through the double glass doors where some of the agents are already beginning to strain their necks to see who fitz and i are talking to.

“we brought our technical analyst, penelope garcia along, we might need access to computers and phones. do you have somewhere she can set up?”

fitz nods, “the conference room is just next to my office, you’ll have plenty of space and privacy in there for you all, i’ll show you the uo now if you’d like to follow me,” he says, motioning towards the door.

hotch nods, he and the rest of the team follow fitz through the bullpen and into the conference room. they mumble their hellos to me as they pass me but i know they can tell from my tightly folded arms and clenched jaw that i don’t want them here.

i tag along after them, behind a woman with dark hair that i don’t recognize, after i introduce myself she identifies herself as a dr alex blake.

“so you used to work with the bau?” she asks as we make our way up to the conference room, “hotch said you were a good agent, it’s nice to get the chance to meet you.”

i nod, “yeah, i transferred here a few years ago, it’s nice…to see everyone again,” i force a smile as i hold the door open for her.

“oh, thank you.”

i glance out the bullpen and see dozens of confused faces staring back at me. i close the door. the team have already settled themselves around the table, hotch, rossi, morgan, garcia, jj, blake and finally spencer. i avoid eye contact with him.

“so what are you going to tell people?” fitz asks, “surely if you announce that you think there’s a mole then whoever it is will just run?”

morgan nods gravely, “that is a concern, can you account that all of your agents arrived this morning?”

“lopez and mccall are out on assignment,” i say, “everyone else is here, either at their desks or somewhere on the floor.”

“any concerns about lopez and mccall?” hotch asks, “reprimands, hr complaints-”

“i know what to look for,” i say icily, “and no. they’re both stand up agents, they’ve saved both of our lives countless times,” i motion between fitz and i.

he nods, “she’s right. i’ve suspected a mole for months, so i’ve only been putting the agents i’d trust with my life out on assignment.”

hotch nods and makes some notes on the papers he is holding, “okay that’s good enough for me, like you said it is a concern that revealing our true purpose here could cause our mole to panic and we don’t want him to hurt himself or any of your agents.”

right, because a shoot out would just be the cherry on top of my day.

“our plan is to say that we have evidence to suggest the mole is in a different department, but the interviews we are carrying out here are just formality, we’ll ask inconspicuous questions and rely on behavioural cues,” morgan explains.

i raise an eyebrow, “and you really think that’ll work?”

“it has to,” jj whispers.

“okay,” i say, “i assume you’re going to want to interrogate fitz and i as well?”

“interview, not interrogate,” rossi says, “i will talk with agent fitz and dr blake will interview you…we felt that would be best since you never met during your time with us, that way there will be no bias or-”

“okay, i get the point. my office is next door, dr blake is welcome in there whenever she is ready to conduct our interview.”

before anyone can object i’ve already swept out of the room, into my office and slammed my door behind me. i’m sure they can hear it bang in the conference room. i know they’re just trying to do their job, and i feel pretty sure that they don’t suspect me. but i’m not in the mood to have my life picked apart by a profiler, especially one i don’t know.

it’s a few hours later when dr blake knocks on my door, when she comes in i motion for her to take a seat across from me. i offer her a cup of coffee but she politely refuses.

“no thank you, i don’t think this will take very long and i have quite a few interviews left after you….”

“of course,” i say, “i’m ready whenever you are.”

blake nods and presses the audio record button on her phone, “i already have the basics, your name, age et cetera confirmed by agent hotchner and fitz, so i just have a couple of quick questions. when did you transfer to the counter terrorism division?”

“three years ago.”

“and how long have you been in your role as assistant unit chief to agent fitz?”

“about a year and a half, he took over as unit chief when agent bishop retired and i was promoted to his previous role.”

blake nods, “okay, excellent. why did you choose to transfer from the bau to the counter terrorism division?”

i don’t think there are enough hours in the day to explain that properly, is what i want to say to dr blake. i left because of a bitter concoction of unrequited love and self-hatred, is what i want to say to dr blake. but instead i force a smile.

“i had been with the bau for a very long time and i felt it was time for a change of pace, i-”

the door swings open, cutting me off mid-sentence. i’m ready snap at whichever one of my agents is stupid enough to interrupt, but when i look up all i see are the cold and hard eyes of spencer reid staring back at me.

“reid, is there a problem?” blake asks.

“no, i was just hoping to sit in on this interview,” he says, never breaking eye contact with me.

“oh, spencer i don’t think that’s appropriate, you two were friends-”

“it’s fine he can stay. pull up a chair, reid.”

“i’ll stand.”

“fine.”

i’m grateful when dr blake doesn’t comment on the obvious tension between us. spencer sulks over to my desk, he stands slightly behind blake and leans against the wall. his arms are folded tight across his body, his jaw is clenches, his brows are furrowed; it’s like looking at myself in the mirror.

spencer reid doesn’t want to be here either.

“right,” blake says slowly, “you were just telling me why you transferred to the counter terrorism division, please continue.”

i tear my gaze away from spencer, “yes, of course. like i was saying i felt i had been with the bau so long and i just wanted a change of scenery, when agent fitz offered me the job i thought it would be a perfect opportunity to go somewhere i could really thrive and make a difference.”

spencer makes a face and i ignore him.

blake smiles and nods, “well it sounds like you’ve done just that, agent fitz speaks very highly of you.”

“what’s your relationship with agent fitz?” spencer interjects.

“dr reid, i think it would be best if i ask the-”

“he’s my boss, and he’s my friend. probably my closest friend here.”

“hmm.”

“what?”

spencer shrugs, “some of the other agents i’ve interviewed reported that you two have a very close relationship, and he offered you this job before he was unit chief. hiring agents wasn’t part of his job description.”

“this supposed to be an interview, none of those were questions.”

“i guess i’m just wondering why he offered you this job in the first place, and why he chose to promote you to assistant unit chief when there are dozens of other agents in this office who have been here longer than you.”

“maybe you should be asking agent fitz those questions, not me.”

“oh i intent to.”

“do you really think i’m the mole?” i spit.

“i don’t know, but jj says you’ve been dodging her calls, not answering her texts…and i know from experience how much you hate that. not to mention you just lied straight to dr blake’s face, so i’d say you’re not looking as innocent as hotch and fitz think you are.”

“what is he talking about?”

the anger is burning through my bloodstream. the bitter and cold spencer reid standing in front of me is not the man i left in virgina all those years ago. he’s not even the same man i met at nyu even a few months ago, something about him is different.

“i think he’s referring to when i told you that i transferred because i wanted a change of scene, spencer has always believed there is a bigger conspiracy behind why i left.”

he snorts.

“something funny?”

“well it’s only a conspiracy if it’s not true.”

“that is the truth,” i say though gritted teeth, my nails dig into the palms of my hands as i clench my fists.

“part of it maybe, why don’t you tell dr blake why you really left?”

“spencer, i think that’s enough. i knew this wouldn’t be appropriate-”

“what happened to you spencer? you’re acting like a totally different person, refusing to sit down, snapping at me, speaking to me like i’m an unsub – you’ve changed.”

“maybe i’m taking after you,” he shrugs, “jj says that you’re different too now, she says you’re irritable and-”

i laugh, “she said that? do you two have little catch-ups where you can discuss how rude and bitchy i am now?”

“i’m sure they don’t-” dr blake begins.

“no, we do. jj doesn’t like it when you don’t call her back, she was upset-”

“right, because everything comes back to jj with you doesn’t it.”

he pauses and i see a hint of emotion flash through his eyes, i’ve touched a nerve there.

“not anymore,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

“right, you’re not in love with her anymore, she mentioned you had a new girlfriend.”

blake’s eyes flicker between reid and i, “we really should get back on track-”

“yeah, not anymore with that either.”

i roll my eyes, “spencer, i don’t care about your relationship status anymore. i know you remember what i said to you at nyu, so i know that you know i don’t feel that way about you anymore,” i don’t even care the blake is in the room with us anymore, “i’m not in love with you, so if you’re trying to make me jealous with your little girlfriend in the hopes that i’ll get upset and reveal something then you’re barking up the wrong tree, i’m not the mole. i don’t have anything to hide.”

“i’m not trying to make you jealous,” he croaks, “even if i wanted to i couldn’t, because she’s dead.”

oh. so that’s why he was acting so out of character.

“what happened?”

“stalker, shot herself and maeve right in front of me.”

maeve. what a pretty name, the mystery woman i’d been so desperate to know about when jj first mentioned her on the phone. that was so long ago now, i hadn’t felt jealous of her in a long time. i was grateful for that, i didn’t want to be jealous of a dead woman.

i hadn’t lied to spencer when i said i wasn’t in love with him anymore. i would always have a soft spot for him in my heart, but i wasn’t in love with him. i’d been slowly piecing myself back together for the past year and a half, as my feelings for spencer faded i felt better, and stronger.

i felt more confident than i had in a long time, because i wasn’t constantly competing for his attention or comparing myself to the women he preferred. i once felt like spencer and i were tied together like planets orbiting the sun, but that was never a true representation of our relationship because he was my sun, the light and center of my life.

and to him i was just one of many trapped in his orbit. i let my love for him burn and keep me warm for years, but you can have too much of a good thing i was blinded by that love. eventually, you have to learn to keep yourself warm. eventually the eclipse will pass.

“when?”

“a couple of months ago.”

i sigh and lean back in my chair, “why are you telling me this spencer?”

spencer isn’t look at me anymore and for once i don’t mind.

“alex, could you give us a minute?” he asks, she hesitates for a moment, “please.”

eventually she nods, gets up and leaves. spencer takes her seat.

i pick at my nails, “so now you want to sit down, huh?”

“don’t be like that.”

“oh i’m sorry, have i been rude to you?” i scoff, “are you not the one who has been unprofessional and-”

“i shouldn’t need to be professional with my friends!”

“are we even friends anymore, spencer?”

he shrugs and looks down at his lap. i see the dark circles rimming his eyes, the hollowness in his face, the tangles in his hair. he looks rough. his chapped lips, his pale skin, his bruised knuckles, he looks ill.

“why did you barge into my interview? blake wasn’t going to ask me anything you didn’t already know the answer to.”

“i wanted to see if you’d about your transfer, and you did-”

“spencer, i don’t know why you have this fixation on why i left, but if you want me to say it so badly then fine. i left because of you, is that what you wanted to hear? are you happy now?”

i wait for the tears to well up in my eyes but they don’t come. i can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not.

“do you think i would be happy about you leaving because of me?” his voice cracks, “i learned recently what rejection can do to a person, i guess i wanted to see if-”

“if what? your rejection drove me to become a terrorist?” i snort, “jesus fucking christ spencer, i’d have hoped you had more faith in me than that.”

my heart begins to soften when i see the tears in his eyes. that fucking soft spot.

“with maeve…” tears begin to stream down his face and it’s several minutes before he can bring himself to speak, “maeve rejected a phd student’s thesis, and it drove her crazy. she stalked, kidnapped and eventually killed them both, and that was just a thesis rejection.”

he holds his head and his hands and cries, i stand up from my chair and shuffle round the desk, bending down i wrap my arms around him.

“i’m not a profiler anymore, but you’re upset and i think you’re projecting your feelings about maeve’s death onto me.”

he shakes his head, “she was the love of my life, i wanted to spend forever with her and she’s gone. i’m not upset, i’m devastated,” i wipe the tears streaming down his skeletal cheeks, “and i am projecting my feelings, but not about this.”

“spencer, i-”

“no, let me finish, please,” he whimpers, “i’ve been thinking about you, even before maeve died, since that day at nyu and i don’t think i’ve been a good friend to you, i should’ve noticed your feelings sooner. and i shouldn’t have made you listen to my feelings about jj all those years, it wasn’t fair-”

“you don’t need to apologise, you didn’t know-”

“but i should’ve! you were right in front of my nose and i never noticed,” he looks up at me with his tear-filled eyes, “i think i could’ve learned to love you, if i’d had the chance.”

my blood runs cold and i drop my arms from their embrace around him, slowly backing away, “learned to love me?” i repeat, “i don’t want you to have to have force yourself to love me, who would want that?”

“wait, no i’m sorry. i just meant that-”

“i’m finally over you spencer,” i cry, “i spent years putting back together what you broke, and now you come to my job and tell me that you could’ve learned to love me? no. that’s not fair spencer, i deserve someone who loves me without having to try, i don’t need your pity or your fake love.”

i turn on my heel and storm towards the door, spencer leaps to his feet and follows me, crying out his apologies the whole way. i ignore him, because what else does he expect me to say?

i’ve worked so hard to put my life back together, and now he wants to shatter me like glass over again? he wants to sit in front of me, in my fucking office, and tell me that if he’d profiled me a little bit harder then we could be together right now?

i think i could’ve learned to love you.  

somehow the words hurt more than his rejection.

i swing open my door, hotch is standing in the doorway.

“we got the mole.”

“who was it?” spencer asks, evidently having pulled himself together long enough respond to hotch.

“an agent jermey cole,” hotch says hesitantly, his eyes flickering between us, “were you two close?”

“not anymore,” i say, mocking spencer’s earlier words as i shoot a glare back at him, “we only dated for a few months, i broke up with him when he started acting strange...”

“strange how?” hotch questions.

“weird phone calls in the middle of the night, hiding his texts from me, coming home late…god i was so stupid. i thought he was cheating on me.”

 hotch places a reassuring hand on my shoulder, “it’s not your fault, that was a far more reasonable assumption than guessing he was part of a terrorist cell. but we caught him before he could do any real damage, i have to go and call the director. i was just coming to tell reid we’re heading back to the jet now.”

hotch nods at spencer and walks away, pulling his phone from his pocket as he enters fitz’s office.

“i didn’t know you were dating anyone,” spencer whispered.

“yeah,” i spit, “guess you could say i was learning to love him.”

i leave spencer standing in the doorway to my office.

i think i could’ve learned to love you.

his words sting, and they definitely make me angry. but there’s a satisfaction in knowing that they don’t make me fall apart. i love spencer, but i’m not in love with him, and this erases any doubts i had about that fact. had he said those words to me a year ago, i’d have been crumbling to pieces in his arms.

but now i feel like honey and glass.

it’s been two years since i saw spencer.

it’s been two years since i saw anyone on the team, jj sends me pictures of the boys sometimes, but even we aren’t the same as we used to be. and i think i’m okay with that.

fitz and i make a good team, we run the counter terrorism division like well oiled machine and people don’t die. he’s my best friend now, and i don’t need anyone else.

not in my personal life at least. but professionally, we’re at a dead end on this case and if we don’t act now then people will die. fitz and i only work so well as a team because we know when to make the hard calls.

for me, the hardest call was when i had to pick up my phone and ask agent hotchner for his help tracking down a serial bomber who was targeting busy tourist spots around the city.

it’s been two, peaceful years since i saw anyone from the bau, and now they’re standing next to me, clad in bullet proof vests and surrounded by s.w.a.t agents as we approach grand central station, one of the most frequented areas in the city.

this was his endgame.

the n.y.p.d are working on evacuating the station, and all incoming trains have been rerouted. the bomb squad are getting anxious, they don’t like waiting around like this, but there isn’t much they can do when the unsub has the bomb strapped to his chest.

fitz is trying to talk him down, but i can see the unsub getting angrier and angrier with every second, he’s going to blow us all up.

“we need to do something,” i hiss to hotch.

we’re standing at the very edge of the station by the entrances, ready to sprint out if he decides to detonate. only i can’t leave fitz, i didn’t want to let him to go and talk to the bomber and i tried to fight my way towards them but hotch told me i could either stay with him and follow his orders or i could go back to headquarters. i begrudgingly chose the former.

“well we can’t shoot him, he has a manual and biomechanical trigger – if the heart rate monitor detects that his has heart stops beating the bomb will arm automatically, our only chance is if fitz can talk him down.”

i tap my foot, “he shouldn’t even be the one negotiating, he has a wife now and a kid on the way, if he dies that baby is gonna grow up without a dad,” I clench my fists so hard my nails dig into my palms and draw blood, “if i die, the only person i’m going to hurt is myself, but i’ll be dead so it won’t matter.”

“i can’t let you go over there-” hotch begins.

i look over at fitz, standing several feet away from the bomber with his hands in the air. i imagine telling his wife that her husband has been blown to pieces, i imagine her going through labour alone, i imagine his kid growing up and asking why everyone has a daddy apart from them.

“no you can’t, but you also can’t stop me,” i say, shoving my gun back into its holster and taking my first few steps towards the unsub.

hotch is hissing something at me but i don’t hear him because everything happens so fast after that. something in the unsubs body language shifts, and before i know it i’m being blown backwards by a searing hot force.

every window in the building shatters, and i land in a pile of glass, the shards tearing at my skin as a try and push myself to my feet. my head is aching, and everything blurs in front of me, but i can tell from the acrid smell and orange glow that half the building is on fire. i pat myself down, searching for any pieces of shrapnel or glass embedded in my body, i don��t feel penetrating wounds but when i hold my hands up above my face my fingers are slick with blood.

my vision is so blurry, and i can’t hear a thing over the ringing in my ears. spencer’s face appears in front of my eyes, his lips are moving but i still can’t hear a word. the ringing is overwhelming and black spots are beginning to appear across my vision.

i want to go to sleep.

my eyes flutter shut.

i think someone is shaking me.

the ringing is too much.

when i begin to float back to consciousness, the ringing is gone and is replaced with a consistent beeping. my body is aching, and i groan as i try and sit myself up because my arms don’t want to cooperate with me. when i look down i see they’re wrapped up tightly in bandages.

“hey, don’t try and move yet,” a voice says, “you have a concussion, the doctor says you’ll be okay but groggy for a while.”

the voice shifts into view, its spencer. his face is twisted with worry and he’s biting at his nail, “how do you feel?”

“like i was hit by a train,” i cough, “what happened?”

his face drops, “you don’t remember?”

i try to shake my head but it hurts to try and move, “bits and pieces, did n.y.p.d get everyone out?”

he nods, “yeah, your team did a good job,” he shifts towards me and takes a seat on the bed next to me, “but there’s something else-”

“god, my head really hurts, can they give me any pain meds?”

“yeah, i’m sure they can, i’ll ask a nurse in a minute,” he says softly, “but i have some bad news…it’s agent fitz-”

“no. no, no, no,” the tears start to burn in my eyes and my vision is blurrier than it was immediately after the explosion, “don’t say it, please don’t say it,” i plead.

he takes my hand, “okay, i won’t.”

the tears are streaming down my face i can’t bring myself to wipe them away, my body aches as it’s racked with sobs. spencer doesn’t say anything, he just squeezes my hand and takes out a handkerchief to dry away my tears.

“d-does his wife know?” i finally manage to choke out.

“yeah, hotch spoke to her.”

gemma was a lovely woman, i don’t know how i can face her again when the guilt flooding my body tells me that this is my fault. fitz is dead, and it should’ve been me.

“this isn’t fair,” i croak.

“i know, it’s never fair. but he saved so many people-”

“no. i mean it’s not fucking fair because he never should’ve been in that position in the first place, if i’d just gotten there sooner then he never would’ve tried to negotiate, it should’ve been me.”

through my own tears i think i see spencer’s eyes turn red and glassy, he shakes his head and grips onto my hand so tightly it hurts, if i had the energy i’d tell him to loosen his grip but i can’t make myself speak.

“i know what its like to have someone you love die right in front of you,” he says, and from the pain in his voice i know he isn’t lying and i know he’s talking about maeve, “i know what its like to feel that guilt and wish it was you instead but-”

“do you think we’re cursed spencer?”

“what do you mean?”

i close my eyes, “bad things seem to happen to us more than anyone else i know, we’ve both been kidnapped, drugged, tortured, known the agony of unrequited love, had someone we love killed in front of our eyes…how am i supposed to have any faith in life when we’re just bombarded with trauma and pain every single day?”

spencer opens his mouth to speak but he falters, i can only recall one other occasion where i’ve seen spencer speechless. it’s not a sight that i ever want to see again, he looks so lost as he stares down at me and i know that he doesn’t know what to say.

morgan pops his head around the door, “glad to see you’re awake,” he says.

i smile weakly at him before tilting my head away, i don’t need anyone else seeing me cry.

“sorry kid, but hotch wants wheels up in thirty, we need to get a move on.”

“yeah, i’ll be two minutes.”

my heart sinks in my chest because i realise that spencer’s hand is still intertwined with mine and i know that my heart will break when he pulls his away. i shakily raise my hand to dry my eyes, spencer has to go now, and i need to dry my own eyes from now on.

“i’m sorry,” he whispers, “i don’t want to leave you but-”

“it’s okay, spencer,” i say, shifting my head back so i can see his face again.

his honey and glass eyes are boring into mine, and in that moment, we are connected by our mutual pain, and maybe something deeper that i can’t quite discern.

“you could come back with me,” he says hopefully.

i shake my head, “you know i can’t spencer,” i squeeze his hand lightly, “you go, i’ll be okay.”

i can’t go with him because i think i know what his eyes are asking me and i can’t open myself up to something like that right now. i can’t disregard the last five years that i have spent re-building myself just for something that i may be reading too much into.

he lets go of my hand and an involuntary shiver runs through my body, i had grown so accustomed to our brief skin to skin contact and now that it’s gone i feel like i’m missing a part of myself.

“i’m so sorry, about everything-”

“it’s okay spencer, i’m starting to think that we aren’t meant to have a happily ever after.”

he doesn’t say anything else; he just presses a gentle kiss against my forehead before he skirts of the room.

i lie motionless in my hospital bed, the nurse comes in to administer some pain meds and i almost wished she hadn’t because at least the pounding in my head and stinging from my cuts meant i could feel something.

without spencer, the room is colder. i thought that having my own, personal sun was a bad thing because i thought that being strong and independent meant never relying on anyone for anything. i realise now that being strong means knowing when to when to depend on others.

i wish fitz were here, he would know exactly what to say.

i feel like rotten honey and shattered glass.

i’m not surprised by the look of shock that spreads across his face when he swings open the door to see me standing in the hallway. i open my mouth to speak but i realise i never figured out what to say. i had two cab journeys, a flight, a decade of loving him and i still don’t know what to say.

he must see something on my face because his own stony expression softens, and he reaches out a hand.

“what made you change your mind?”

it’s warm against my own, still freezing from the bitter, winter wind.

“i realised i was wrong, i thought if i ran straight back into your arms it would ruin all the years i spent sticking myself back together. before you were oxygen to me, and i couldn’t live without you. now i know that i can, i just don’t want to.”

he squeezes my hand, pulling me towards him. i’m in his apartment.

“you told me once that you still love me, but you aren’t in love with me. is that still true?”

i nod, “yes, but i don’t think that you’re in love with me either. yet,” i wink at him and he grins, “i don’t need to learn how to love you, i already know how to do that. i just need to be persuaded to fall in love with you again.”

he takes a step closer to me, “persuaded how?”

i snake my arms around his neck and his lips brush against mine, “like this.”

i press my lips against his and i don’t feel fireworks or butterflies or a gravitational pull, i just feel at home. i don’t need a happily ever after beacuse he is enough.

he tastes like coffee and i feel like honey and glass.

as usual i have finished this super late at night and havent proof read at all so pls ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes - also aware that the timeline in this probably doesn't align with canon cos i have no clue how far apart certain events happened so ive made some educated guesses. 

i never planned for honey and glass to have a part 2 but i wrote one due to all the requests i got so i’m sorry if the plot isnt the best because i didnt really know where to take it. i’m definitely not as happy with this as i was with part one but i still hope you enjoy it!

taglist:

@mggswhorificlover @doctorthreephds @minami97 @bisexualwomanofcolour @ashwarren32 @bangisbae @haylaansmi @heyy-itsharley03 @starjane312 @awesometheydontknowiamhere @radtwinkie @allexthakatt @spencereidshoe @mgglover @spideyr3id

@cloudyskylines @pastelvixenbeauty @hatemyselfbutitsokay @writingwithnotime @awkwxrdmarauders

ive tagged anyone who commented on part 1 or liked my posts about a part 2 so im sorry if you didnt want to be tagged, if ur name is scored through then i tried to tag you but it wouldnt let me x

[writerpeach]

Roommates: Part Two

IZ*ONE Hyewon & Eunbi x Male Reader

10875 words

Categories: smut, threesome, oral, rough sex, mommy kink, dirty talk

18+

--

Read on AFF

Read on AO3

“We only have one shot at this. Let’s make it count.”

Detective Kwon took point on the operation. Her primary focus was staring at rows of monitors in the back of a large unmarked van parked stealthily miles away from the destination. Overhead shots were displayed on the largest monitor, giving a full view of the target area - a luxurious white mansion housed the patriarch of the Goda clan, given the information Eunbi received was correct. 

You lost track of how many hours you had occupied, only accompanied by Detectives Hyewon, with newly dyed blonde hair and Eunbi inside a hot van, waiting for just the right moment to strike. Your job was to give any details that would be helpful and to help confirm identities. 

The surveillance van had more technology in it than your entire University’s expensive computer lab. Extensive audio feeds, LCD monitors everywhere giving as many angles as possible, speakers, and multiple laptops that could power a space station all created the perfect portable setup. Eunbi sat up front, monitoring everything, and aiding in preparation. 

“Team one, do you copy?” Eunbi asked over a bluetooth headset she wore on her right ear. 

“Yes, boss. We have eyes on the back entrance. Nobody has gone in or out since we’ve been here.”

“Team two, what do you have for me?” 

“Can’t see much. There’s been no movement on our end.” 

“Keep a lookout. I don’t want anyone getting spooked.”

“Yes, boss.” 

“Team three?”

“Our drones are in the air, but the fog is killing visibility. Can’t get a good visual so we’ll have to almost exclusively rely on thermal. ”

“Do what you can.” 

“This better work,” Hyewon said, shifting in one of the backseat chairs nervously. 

“Dojima has been our information expert for years, he wouldn’t fail us now.”

Eunbi took a long deep breath as she pulled up cameras on two large screens, showing views on both front and back entrances and views of each team awaiting orders.

“On my mark, breach and clear. We want him alive,” Eunbi said.

“Go!”

The simultaneous thud of doors being forced open boomed through the van’s speakers, speeding your heart rate up. The audio feed went silent for a second before being replaced with windows being broken, voices shouting, and inaudible commotion. You expected more. No gunshots, no more yelling. Everything was silent. 

“Team one, what’s your status? I need an update.”  

Nothing but radio silence filled the van as you collectively held your breath and waited for an answer. 

“Detective Kwon, there’s nobody inside. Place looks lived in but it’s been cleared out.” 

“Son of a bitch!” Eunbi hissed. 

“All rooms are clear, Detective. There’s nobody here.” “Those motherfuckers set us up. Check for hidden exits. I want this whole place checked.” 

“What do we do now?” Hyewon asked. 

“We’re back from square one. We figure out they knew we were coming, and where we go from here.” 

“Team three, I want you to stay overnight in case they decide to come back. Team one and two you’re dismissed.”

“Understood.”

Eunbi took her headset off and angrily tossed it away, sighing in frustration. 

“Sorry I couldn’t be of any use, Detective,” you said. 

“Don’t be sorry, if anything you got us to this point to begin with,” Eunbi replied. 

“Back to the office?” Hyewon asked. 

“No, that’s the last place I want to be right now. It’s late and we’ve been here all damn day. For nothing.” 

Eunbi rubbed her temple as she sank back in her chair. 

"I've got a cabinet full of alcohol if you wanna crash at my place, boss,” Hyewon said. 

Eunbi hesitated before answering, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. 

“That sounds like exactly what I need. We’ll deal with this on Monday, let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

                                                          ✦✦

Hyewon keyed in the security code to her place and you and Eunbi followed her inside, slipping shoes off at the entryway. You sat down on the couch next to Hyewon while Eunbi took a moment to look over the place. 

“You’ve decorated since the last time I was here,” Eunbi said, wandering and looking aimlessly.

“I have company now, I can’t live like a slob, boss.” 

“You really don’t have to call me boss outside of work. Unnie will be fine.” 

“Okay, unnie.”

“How has everything been going?” Eunbi asked, directing her attention towards you. “I know we said it would be just for a month, but with everything going on I’m afraid it’s going to be longer. I seem to be really bad at keeping my promises.”

“It was awkward at first, but Hyewon is very easy to talk to and get along with. I won’t mind living longer here, Hyewon has been very accommodating, I’ve even picked up a few cooking tips from her.” 

 Eunbi smiled. “That’s good to hear. Hyewon loves to cook as much as she loves to eat.”

“She’s really good at eating,” you said.

“Yes, she really is,” Eunbi said with a smirk as she sat down. Hyewon caught on quickly and got up embarrassed, heading into the kitchen to fetch drinks. 

“Unnie, what are you in the mood to drink? Beer, wine?” 

“Something strong,” Eunbi replied. 

“How strong?” Hyewon asked. 

“Strong enough to slap me across the face.” 

“Uh, we have Tequila. Is that strong enough?” 

“Yes, that’s perfect.” 

“Ok, but I’m making cocktails, I don’t want anyone to get carried away.” 

“Make mine a double then.” 

Eunbi drifted her gaze over to you as she sat down and crossed her legs, flashing a flirtatious gaze.

“Have you settled into living with Hyewon?”

“Mostly. There haven't been any troubles at all, she’s very easy to live with.” 

“That’s very good to hear, she’s such a sweetie.” 

“She is.”

“Unnie, stop being nosy!” Hyewon whined as she brought a tray of drinks and set it down on the black coffee table in front. 

“I was just trying to see how you’ve been treating our guest.”

“I have been nothing but an understanding host, isn’t that right?” 

“Of course. Hyewon has been wonderful.” 

Grabbing a drink and taking your first sip, you coughed at how strong it was, but soon the burn down your throat became refreshing. 

“I hope we can find whoever tipped us off,” Hyewon said. 

Eunbi rolled her eyes. “Please, can we not talk about work for once?” 

Hyewon nodded apologetically. “Sorry, unnie. Of course.” 

“This is really good,” you said, taking another large sip. 

“It is. Our Hyewon really is multi-talented.” 

“It’s not that big of a deal. I learned a few things in culinary school.” 

You could feel the collective stress leaving the room as the three of you indulged into the strong drinks Hyewon had prepared. Shaking the glass a few times to evenly spread out the ice you took another drink, getting used to the taste. 

“Now that I’m drinking, I guess I should be responsible tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch if that’s okay,” Eunbi said. 

“The couch?” Hyewon repeated. “There’s a spare bed, you don’t need to do that, unnie.” 

Eunbi tilted her head. “Spare bed? If I remember correctly your place only has two rooms, right?” 

“That’s right. Two bedrooms, but we’ve been sharing the bed at night,” she said, as she realized what she was admitting halfway.

“Oh, you have been?” Eunbi laughed. “That explains why you’ve been coming in late more often,” she teased. 

Hyewon turned red. “U-unnie! That’s not what I...I’m gonna go make another drink.” 

She hastily got off the couch as Eunbi filled in the gap, scooting over as she finished her drink, placing it on the coffee table.

“She’s always been like that.” 

“Like what?” you asked. 

“Shy and adorable, ever since I met her. We’re all adults here, so there’s no shame in talking about it.” 

 “Everyone has their limits about what they’re comfortable about I guess.”

“That’s true. I’m just an open book.”

Hyewon returned and refused to make eye contact.

“Ah, Hyewon, I forgot to bring anything to sleep in tonight. Can I borrow some clothes?” 

“Clothes? Don’t you usually sleep naked, unnie?” she responded. You nearly choked on your drink.

Eunbi smiled before she responded. “You’re right...but I’m just a guest here. I have to look presentable.” 

“Why? He’s already seen you naked before hasn’t he?” Hyewon teased back.

“Guess you got me there,” Eunbi replied with reddened cheeks. 

You sat there listening as the two beautiful detectives playfully teased each other back and forth while you nursed your cocktail, trying not to let it hit you all at once. It was tempting to go for another drink given the day's events, wanting to forget the failed operation. Finishing your drink and chewing on a piece of melting ice you rested it on the coffee table. 

The living room clock showed it was just after 1 a.m. Still rather early or late in the morning depending on your perspective.  

"So, Hyewon,” Eunbi said.

“Yes, unnie?” Hyewon perked up. 

“I don’t think we’ve properly thanked our mutual friend for everything he’s done for us.” 

Hyewon put her drink down. “We do owe him a lot. Even though nothing went as planned today, we never would have gotten to that point to begin with.”

The two women shared a look that was directed at you. “Keeping me safe is enough thanks, ladies.” 

“Oh no, that’s just part of our jobs,” Eunbi said. “I think we personally need to show our appreciation.”

Eunbi began caressing your shoulder, and you were thankful that you had been drinking already. 

“You’ve been so helpful, and we should return the favor.” 

“That’s not really necessary,” you humbly said. 

“Oh, but it really is,” Eunbi said, scooting closer to your body, gesturing for Hyewon to do the same, who changed places to your left side. Syncing their movements each woman moved and straddled one of your thighs as your heart started racing. 

Eunbi made the first move, cupping your face and hesitated for a moment. Her gaze lingered on you as she leaned in and your lips merged, filling you with the sweet taste of her as the warmth of her soft lips pressed against your own.

“If you insist, Detective.” 

“Detective? That’s much too formal,” Eunbi said as she caressed your hair.

“Eunbi is fine,” she paused. “But what I really like to be called... is Mommy.” 

“Oh god, not this again,” Hyewon spoke out in annoyance. “Not everyone wants to call you that.”

“Maybe not everyone...but you’ll call me mommy won’t you?” She asked as she turned her attention towards you. 

“I’ll call you anything you want. Mommy.”

Eunbi gave one more kiss against your lips, deeper and with more hunger. Not wanting to be left out, Hyewon tilted your head towards hers and gave you a chaste kiss of her own, the contrast in their lips enticing. Eunbi had thinner lips, Hyewon’s lips were plumper and fuller, while both had an incredible softness and warmth with their own distinctive unique taste. 

The two of them looked at you as if deciding what they wanted to do, pondering their moves. Eunbi didn’t need much time as she removed her shirt, and the purple lace bra that covered up her huge full breasts became the focus of your attention. 

“You can touch mommy all you want,” Eunbi said and you didn’t need to be told twice, running your hands up her body, feeling the tightness of her toned tummy as your hands wandered on their own to her chest, fondling her massive breasts through her bra. 

Not wanting to be outdone, Hyewon removed her own top, her much smaller, but no less satisfying breasts were visible. With a quick movement of her fingers, her bra was unclasped, and bare breasts exposed as she cupped them, enticing you to dive in. 

Starting at Hyewon’s sensitive neck you peppered her soft skin in kisses, hearing her softly moan as you moved down her chest, leaving a trail just below her collarbone. Looking into her eyes for a second you squeezed her breasts before bringing your lips to her nipples and sucking, hearing her sweet moans as you sucked on her soft pale tits. 

Eunbi couldn’t handle being left out, and out of the corner of your eye you could see her slipping out of her bra, her pale tits exposed stopped you in your path. 

“You like mommy’s tits better don’t you?” Eunbi playfully asked, giving out a moan as she pinched her own nipples. You sucked Hyewon’s tits for a few more seconds before hastily switching your interest to Eunbi’s chest. 

“Unnie, you’re playing dirty,” Hyewon complained.

“I can’t help what I was born with,” she smirked, proud at how much bigger her breasts were. You planted several kisses on each of her pillowy soft tits and Eunbi ran her fingers through your hair, smiling sweetly. Licking stripes up her cleavage you flicked your tongue against each nipple, teasing each just a bit before sucking on them, letting out a noisy slurp. 

“Mmm, baby, that feels good.” 

Hyewon looked on patiently, trying to stave off her jealousy. You couldn’t help but moan as you sucked Eunbi’s tits, playing with her sensitive pink nipples and burying yourself into her deep cleavage, a warmth you didn’t dare leave. 

“Mommy’s tits are so amazing,” you said, slurping on her hardened nipples and watching her pleasure as you did so, biting them gently as Eunbi gasped in pleasure. Alternating sucking on each of Eunbi’s delicious breasts you kept them in your mouth until her pink nipples became swollen and glazed with your wet saliva, keeping yourself fed with the taste and softness of her flesh and the way her pretty pink nipples fit perfectly in your mouth. 

Nothing would keep you from sucking on them, not wanting your mouth to leave them but also not wanting to leave Hyewon out. 

You feasted on each pair of scrumptious tits and gave them equal attention, moving back and forth between the delicious chests of each busty woman and didn't want to stop until your lips were numb. 

“I still can’t get over how big they are,” Hyewon said, the envy in her voice obvious.

“Yours aren’t that bad either, Hyewon,” Eunbi responded. 

“You’re just trying to make me feel better, unnie.” 

“I’m not, you agree right, baby?” 

“Your tits are really nice too, Hyewon.” 

“Nobody can compare to yours though, I can't even fully get my hands on them,” Hyewon pouted. 

“It just means there’s more of them to go around,” Eunbi grinned, as if sending an invitation. Both of you teamed up on Eunbi’s tits, each taking one of her swollen breasts in your mouth and sucking, causing deep moans to escape from her. Hyewon was gentle while you devoured Eunbi’s tits, hungrily slurping and biting as if you were trying to satisfy your insatiable hunger for her big milky breasts. 

Keeping your tongues and lips all over Eunbi's swollen pink nipples they became drenched in the combination of your saliva, her pretty moans were music to your ears, earning more with each second that passed. 

As much as you loved teaming up to taste Eunbi, you soon became their focus, feeling the wet smack of their warm soft lips as each gorgeous woman took their time to kiss you, leaving their taste locked on your lips. 

If that wasn’t enough, they turned and playfully kissed each other, leaving you to patiently watch every movement as their lips smacked loudly and both grabbed a handful of each other's supple bare breasts. 

The two lustful vixens switched it up and turned the tables on you. Both took a side of your neck and planted their lips on your skin, sucking both sides of your neck deeply with the intention to leave love marks. 

The two warm mouths pressed on your neck sucking heavily entranced you into a daze, and you barely felt a hand cupping your crotch, too crippled by their effect on you to see the culprit. 

“Mommy can you feel your cock getting hard for us," Eunbi whispered, blowing hot air into your ear that made you shiver. 

“We both want to make you feel good,” Hyewon said. 

Giving your crotch a good firm squeeze, your lap was soon empty and the action kept on moving right in front of you. Running their hands all over each other's tight bodies, Eunbi made quick work of stripping Hyewon to her panties, and Hyewon returned the favor as they both knelt in front of you, eyeing the bulge in your pants they had created. 

With Hyewon to your left and Eunbi to your right, they gave each other a playful look before working together to unbutton your pants, working quickly and yanking them off with your boxers, your hardened shaft introducing itself and throbbing freely. 

Eunbi jumped the gun and took the liberty to play with Hyewon’s chest, earning a moan from her as she sucked on her round pale tits, taking her first taste of the night and sending even more blood flowing to your already stiff erection. 

"Have some confidence, Hyewon, your tits are yummy."

“Unnie…”

“Now go on, Hyewon, show us what you’ve learned.” 

Hyewon nervously smiled and leaned forward, taking your cock into her cold delicate hand and wrapping her fingers around it. She licked it more naturally this time, starting at the base of your shaft and dragging her wet tongue upwards until she reached your swollen tip, swirling around it mindlessly and giving a wet kiss on it. 

Eunbi followed her lead, her tongue on one side while Hyewon mirrored the other, both women painting your hard shaft with their wet flattened tongues, before ascending on your tip and licking up against it, causing you to groan.

The two beautiful women on their knees for you wandered their tongues all over your shaft, not missing a spot before syncing back up and licking your swollen head, both hitting all the right spots, their touch driving you crazy. 

"F-fuck," you moaned to their delight, going crazy at the intense pleasure already. You felt a hand fondling your balls and jerked abruptly, earning a pretty smile from Eunbi. 

"They feel so heavy and full," Eunbi said as she kissed each one, grazing her cute nose against them. 

Hyewon looked for approval, meeting the gaze of Eunbi. Without another word Hyewon licked her lips and parted them with your sensitive tip, taking you into her radiating warm mouth. 

You moaned loudly at the softness of Hyewon’s plump lips as she sucked your tip gently, eyes looking up. Eunbi watched as Hyewon sucked you off, the pleasure of her wet mouth enveloping your shaft. 

“You’re getting good at this," Eunbi said as she smiled. She brought her mouth to your balls, blowing her hot breath against your sack before delicately kissing and licking them. 

"I love how sensitive you get," Eunbi said, licking turning into sucking as her soft lips tenderly slurped your balls one at a time, the double pleasure from each woman overwhelming your senses. 

Hyewon's lips slid deeper, her tongue licking your underside as Eunbi's lips sucked your balls more forcibly, covering them in saliva as she rested a hand on your thigh, stimulating you more by digging her nails into your skin. 

It was as if they were competing to give the most pleasure, not wanting to back down. Eunbi took your cock into her needy familiar mouth, sucking with such force you felt like you might pass out. Hyewon did not keep her mouth empty as she mirrored Eunbi’s earlier movements, gently sucking on your balls, both women eagerly to milk you dry it seemed. 

“Fuck...you’re both amazing at this,” you groaned, and you were met with faster movements.

The difference in experience and techniques was immediately apparent. Hyewon's lack of expertise allowed her to take things slowly, but she couldn't take more than half your cock down her throat, instead focusing on sucking you off more sensually. 

Eunbi was the opposite, proudly able and willing to take all of your cock down her warm throat, deepthroating with ease and sucked rapidly and messily. Both were pleasurable, and feeling the contrast of both as they switch back and forth, practically fighting over your cock drove you insane. 

“Don’t be selfish, unnie, " Hyewon whined as Eunbi devoured your cock down her throat, sliding her lips in long smooth strokes from base to tip, showing off her lack of gag reflex. She was so messy that saliva spilled out of the corners of her mouth and dripped down to her huge tits, the sight arousing you even more.

You held the back of Eunbi's head and pushed her down your base, moaning needily as her throat tightened, slurping on every inch of your shaft while Hyewon kept her mouth full of your heavy balls, trying to learn how best to pleasure them. 

"Mommy loves this cock," Eunbi hummed, and in response Hyewon forcibly stole it from her, the elder shooting a deadly look. 

"Do you really think you can make him cum with this lousy blowjob?" Eunbi hissed, as she went back to work on your balls, lathering them up with her warm saliva and slurping loudly. 

Hyewon sucked faster as a response, moving past her usual threshold and gagging as a result. Eunbi eyed her, watching her take more and more until her lips almost met your base, but retreating at the last moment as she coughed. 

"It's okay, Hyewon, not everyone can be as good as me."

Hyewon cursed under her breath, only motivated by her unnie’s pitiful attempts to incite and dove back in. She didn't care how much she gagged, Eunbi wasn't going to show her up. Starting halfway, Hyewon took as much as she could before retreating, reaching a new point each time. 

"You must like choking on that dick, huh? You sound really pretty when you gag on it, I think you could use some help though," Eunbi said as she grabbed the younger girl by the head and forced her down your base, increasing her gagging sounds and your pleasure. 

Hyewon’s eyes went wide as Eunbi fucked her throat with your cock, not used to her mouth so completely stuffed that she couldn't help feel overwhelmed. 

"Breathe through your nose, baby," Eunbi cooed as she roughly shoved her down all the way at the end of your cock, causing you to gasp and groan loudly. 

"There we go, that's how you do it. Mommy is a good teacher isn’t she?” 

Eunbi smirked as she continued her relentless use of Hyewon’s mouth, not letting up for a single moment, testing her gag reflexes and making her take you as deep as possible until she signaled that she had enough. 

"Unnie!" Hyewon yelled as she gasped for air, wiping drool off her chin and using it to jerk off your cock. 

"This is what you wanted right? To prove you were better?" 

Hyewon ignored her and focused on your cock, licking it wildly.

"Prove it then. Finish him off," Eunbi encouraged. 

Hyewon didn't back down even though she couldn't stop herself from gagging, she was determined. Her soft plump lips kissed the end of your base as your cock hit the back of her throat, but she didn’t give up.

"Fuck…Hyewon…"

Hyewon bobbed her head as she worked her magic in between your legs, slurping and sucking the life out of your cock. Eunbi was more than content to take a backseat, gently massaging your balls as she watched on. 

"There you go, baby, doing such a good job. Empty those heavy balls and suck him dry," Eunbi demanded. 

Hyewon looked straight ahead with a mouth full of cock, her innocent sparkling eyes glued to your own as she was prepared to drain you. Her wet full lips were sealed tight around your shaft, the sounds of her slurping every inch to try and earn your approval was far too much. 

"Ah, fuck, Hyewon. I'm gonna fucking cum."

The duo smiled as you felt your limits being hit, your breathing weakening, and your balls tightening. 

It wasn’t much longer as you felt your climax arriving, tightly grabbing the back of Hyewon’s head as you throbbed inside her mouth and erupted, flooding her throat with copious amounts of your hot cum. 

Your orgasm took over your body as you continued pumping your thick load into the back of Hyewon’s throat, grunting with every spurt that released from your shaft. 

Hyewon handled it well at first, but the more you came the more difficult it became for her as your load began spilling out of her mouth, too much for her to contain. 

"Amateur," Eunbi said. "You shouldn't waste a single drop of his delicious cum.”

Your intense orgasm mercifully came to a halt and Hyewon's lips squeezed tight around your still throbbing shaft, ensuring everything had been milked out of you. 

"There was so much, holy shit," Hyewon said while trying to talk with a mouth full of cum as she removed her lips from your cock, sliding her fingers around your shaft to make sure nothing was left. 

"Show it, baby. Show us how much you made him cum."

Hyewon complied as she opened her mouth for all to see, revealing a thick white pool that had been deposited on her tongue. 

"Swallow it," Eunbi demanded. It took more than one gulp, but Hyewon tilted her head back in satisfaction and opened her now empty mouth, displaying her wet pink tongue to confirm your load was now inside her stomach.

"Good girl," Eunbi purred as she began cleaning up drops of cum that spilled out of Hyewon’s mouth. 

"Mommy has to do this because you couldn't handle such a huge load," she sighed, licking your shaft clean of every spilled drop, taking your tip into her warm mouth and sucking it clean, your sensitivity arousing her. 

“How was it?” Eunbi asked as she made sure to not miss anything, jerking your cock off slowly as your body trembled with the aftershocks of your climax. 

Taking a moment to catch her breath, she licked her lips before answering. “Yummy.”

Letting go of your cock Eunbi licked her lips and fingers clean, sucking on them lewdly with each one making a loud pop. 

"Hyewon and I are going to have some fun in the bedroom. Come join us when you're ready."

                                                            ✦✦

It took a while to finish gathering your senses, catching your breath as you clutched a pillow to your chest. You rested on the couch for several minutes, waiting for your breathing to stabilize. 

Aiding your recovery you downed a glass of ice water in one go, taking another deep breath and as you let it out you heard a sound in the distance that broke the silence. A loud, feminine moan, that you couldn’t quite figure out who the owner was. 

The closer you got to the bedroom the louder the moaning got. Opening the door to your room and the bed you shared with Hyewon left you with an empty dark room as you closed the door and headed down the hallway, down into Hyewon’s actual bedroom. 

“Oh fuck!” you heard crying out behind the shut door, feeling your heart beating faster as the voice became unmistakable as belonging to Hyewon. 

Taking a breath you gently grabbed the handle and turned it as you were greeted with an unforgettable sight. 

With just one lamp illuminating the room on the left side of the bed, you walked in to find a set of panties left in the middle of the floor and found Hyewon’s naked body sprawled out and holding on to the headboard for dear life. 

Neither of the two women noticed your arrival. Eunbi was too preoccupied with having her head buried in between Hyewon’s naked thighs, rubbing at her core and devouring the writhing blonde. 

“Nice of you to join us finally,“ Eunbi said as she held onto Hyewon’s flushed thighs, eating her pussy out like she had skipped an entire week's worth of meals. The sight of Eunbi making Hyewon an absolute mess brought your erection back to full hardness right away. 

“Since this bed doesn’t get used anymore I figured it was a good place to start since you two haven’t defiled it yet.”

“Hey!” Hyewon protested, but any further complaints were drowned out by her whimpering moans. 

“It’s a shame I left my handcuffs back at work,” Eunbi said. “You’d really be squirming right now.”

Eunbi continued her assault on the younger woman’s body, her tongue deep inside Hyewon’s pussy and lapping up all her juices liberally leaking from her spread thighs. 

“Are you just going to stare at my ass all day?” Eunbi asked annoyed. 

“Is that an option?” You fired back playfully.

“No. Don’t make me be the only one doing the work here.” 

“But you’re doing such a good job, I’d hate to distract you.” 

“Enough. Mommy wants that cock.” 

It had been far too long since you had fucked Eunbi, and you weren’t going to keep her waiting as you climbed the bed, staring at the view before doing anything else. Kneeling behind her tight round ass you quickly tugged her thong off her full curvy hips, down her toned legs, and tossed it away.  

You felt hypnotized by the pink glistening flesh in between her thighs, giving Eunbi’s ass a firm squeeze, her velvety cheeks felt so good against your palms as you lined your cock against Eunbi’s opening, feeling the heat radiating as an invitation.

“U-unnie, that feels so good,” Hyewon moaned, gripping the headboard even tighter. You prepared yourself to enter the oldest of the two busty women, spreading her thick thighs and looking down at her wet pussy that looked so damn inviting. 

Running your cock up and down Eunbi’s pink wet slit, you took a deep breath before pushing in slowly and parting her wet flesh with your cock, being met by her intense warmth as you entered Eunbi once more, the feeling of her pussy even better this time. 

You groaned needily as your tip disappeared inside Eunbi’s warm walls, and then pushed deeper inside her until you were halfway inside. She looked back, her eyes telling you to get on with it already. In one stroke you used your hips and gave Eunbi what she wanted, your whole shaft was inside her warmth, the slick of her walls gripping tight around your shaft and refusing to let go.

You watched Eunbi make an absolute mess out of Hyewon as you held to her perfect wide hips, slowly began pumping inside her, feeling her pussy swallowing your cock and lighting your senses on fire as you began to fuck her from behind. 

Having experienced Eunbi in this position already you knew she liked it rough, giving her plump ass a loud slap as you thrusted deep, using your hips to establish a fast and steady rhythm. 

“You’re so fucking tight, mommy,” you said, giving her ass repeated spanks as you began pounding into her pussy, the wet flesh wrapped around your cock squeezing even tighter with every thrust. 

Eunbi wasn’t able to moan freely as she slurped and feasted on Hyewon’s delicious pussy, but you could tell from the way her body reacted to you that she was in love with what you were doing to her. 

It was hard to comprehend what was happening. Pounding into Eunbi as she ate out another woman was heavenly, and it helped that the same woman was one you had slept with already and had become very close in every sense of the word. Hyewon was certainly dripping between her thighs, but the juices coming out of Eunbi’s tight hole certainly matched the youngest, allowing you to thrust as deep as you needed into the older detective with ease.  

It didn’t take long until a trio of moans filled the room, the wet squelch of Eunbi’s hot flesh being driven into harshly caused her body to slam against Hyewon’s sensitive clit, turning her into an even louder, needier mess. 

Eunbi felt even tighter than when you had fucked her in the interrogation room, her pussy so hot and tight and wet around you just wanted to ravage her until neither of you could walk in the morning. 

"Baby, your cock feels amazing inside me. You like mommy’s tight pussy?" Eunbi asked. 

“Y-yes, mommy. You’re so wet. “ you moaned and in response and upped your pace even faster, her pussy gripping your shaft so tightly it almost hurt. 

The smack of your hips against Eunbi’s voluptuous ass was the sound you loved to hear, causing her soft flesh to ripple beautifully in time with each thrust, drilling into her with such aggression that caused the bed to shake in protest, earning higher muffled moans from her and giving one more slap on her beautiful ass.

“Mommy loves being spanked, don’t stop baby.”

“Unnie, you’re such a slut,” Hyewon teased, as you gave harsh hits to Eunbi’s soft bottom, trying to leave your handprints on both cheeks. 

“Me? Because I know what I like? If I remember you were the one who jerked a guy off you met at work for not even five minutes.” 

“Hey! I was curious and he was cute. It’s not my fault.” 

“Not so innocent are you, slut?” Eunbi fired back, slurping on her folds and bringing two and then three fingers deep inside her cunt, eating her out without a care in the world other than shutting her up.  

“Oh fuck unnie! I-I’m so close,” Hyewon whimpered, holding on to Eunbi’s head, desperately chasing her orgasm as she rocked her hips against her face, only encouraging Eunbi to furiously rub and slurp on her clit.

“Oh god..u-unnie, I’m cumming!”

With Hyewon practically screaming Eunbi’s name, you continued drilling Eunbi’s tight pussy, sending waves of pleasure through her all the way to Hyewon’s body as her thighs quivered around Eunbi’s face, as her toes curled and she came hard all over Eunbi’s pretty face. 

Eunbi licked up everything that leaked between her legs, cleaning her folds and licking every inch of her stained thighs before Hyewon gently pushed her away off her.

“U-unnie, you’re so good at that,” Hyewon breathlessly said.

“I’m good at everything I do, baby,” she confidently smirked. 

“Now rest up, Hyewonie,” she said as she looked behind her. ”As good as you feel inside me, mommy wants to ride your face.”

You didn’t want to retreat from the comforting warmth of Eunbi’s pussy, but given the alternative was having your face warmed with her powerful thighs it was quite worth the sacrifice. 

Before using your face as a pillow Eunbi lifted herself into position, giving you a chance to admire every curve and inch of her immaculate beautiful skin as she sat down and locked her warm thighs around your head.

“You’ll make mommy feel good won’t you?” 

“Of course. Anything for mommy.”

“Good boy,” Eunbi replied as she pushed her weight down and smothered you with her succulent pussy, her aroma intoxicating you as breathed hot air against her core and explored her folds with your tongue, licking her juices clean. 

“Mommy tastes so good,” you moaned as Eunbi gyrated her hips and you felt her delicious juices smearing all over your lips, not missing a drop of her nectar. 

While you fucked Eunbi’s tight hole with your tongue, she grabbed onto your head, pulling at your hair to shove you deeper inside her pretty cunt, leaving you sucking and licking her pussy, licking, slurping on her folds to give her the pleasure she deserved. 

“That mouth feels so fucking good, baby,” Eunbi said as you looked up at the pleasure you were giving her, feeling her thighs squeezing tighter as she rode your face faster as you explored and stimulated every inch of her pussy.

Meanwhile, Hyewon stirred back to life, and while you alternated between trying to breathe and pleasuring Eunbi, you felt a cold delicate hand squeezing your cock, wrapping tightly around your shaft as she began stroking you slowly. 

“I can’t believe you’re still so hard after cumming in my mouth,” Hyewon said, jerking off you at a slow rate. 

“We just must turn him on that much,” Eunbi replied, her playful words quickly turned into lustful moans as you drove your tongue deeper into her cunt as her slick continuously leaked into your mouth.

You wondered her sculpted body with your hands while you continued to be smothered by her beautiful thighs. You grabbed onto her wonderful breasts, taking a handful and squeezing, pinching her hard sensitive nipples as she closed her eyes and her breathing hitched. 

You could sense the tension in her body as you made out with her pussy, sucking her clit harshly. Juice leaked everywhere, drenching your tongue and lips as she tugged on your hair harder, trying to force you deeper inside her wet hole. 

“F-fuck, baby, mommy’s g-gonna-”

Looking up at Eunbi you slurped her pussy loudly, still playing with her tits as you felt her thighs squeezing around your head as they vibrated violently and she came all over your face, gasping and moaning breathlessly as you were drenched in her delicious sweet nectar. 

You helped her ride out her orgasm as the grip her thighs had on your head weakened, still trembling and shaking as she looked down between her and giggled at the mess she left deposited all over your face. 

"You're so good with that tongue, baby. You made mommy cum so hard."

Eunbi gently climbed off your face and immediately crashed on top of Hyewon, their breasts mashing together as the older initiated a make-out session as you were able to breathe again. 

“Now, do you think you can handle that dick?” Eunbi asked. 

Hyewon pouted cutely. “Unnie, he’s fucked me before.” 

“But you were in control the whole time, and I’m sure he was gentle. Do you think you can take his cock when he’s pounding your tight little pussy with it?” 

Hyewon scoffed. “I’ll be fine, unnie.” 

“We’ll see. How do you want her, baby?” 

You didn’t hesitate for a second before you answered, knowing just how you wanted her. 

“Bent over. I want you to watch me fuck her, mommy.” 

“I’d be happy to, baby,” Eunbi responded, giving Hyewon one more lustful kiss. 

“You heard him, Hyewon. Hands and knees,” Eunbi ordered. 

Hyewon obeyed without delay like the innocent pup she who always obediently listened to Eunbi at work, this was no different. Her palms and knees placed flat on the black silk sheets, Hyewon laid her head down, lifting her scrumptious ass in the air. 

She wasn’t as curvy as Eunbi, her thighs were a bit slimmer but her skin was just as soft, and her body wasn’t lacking in any way. Hyewon’a pussy was tighter, something Eunbi would kill you for saying had you the courage to admit it. 

You could taste Hyewon’s anticipation as you lined your shaft up with her pussy, her pink pussy ready and waiting to be filled. As you ran your cock through Hyewon’s soft wet folds, you gasped at the feeling of her wet flesh as you pushed against it, groaning at how tight she was as you entered her pussy. 

Pushing in deeper and earning a loud needy moan, you felt the tight clench of her walls squeezing the life out of your cock. Hyewon’s much tighter pussy and lack of experience being penetrated meant you really had to take your time so you didn’t hurt her, but you had a feeling she was going to enjoy the fucking she was about to take. 

“She’s fucking tight isn’t she?” Eunbi asked, positioning herself behind your body as she draped an arm around your chest. 

“She is. I feel like I can barely fit.”

"The first time I fingered her I could barely slip one finger inside. Make sure you stretch out her nice and wide.”

“I will, mommy.” 

Not wanting to disappoint either woman you pushed in deeper, parting Hyewon’s pussy wider as half of your length rested inside. When she was on top it was easy for her to take as much as she wanted to, but being bent over in this vulnerable position you felt there was much more resistance, her almost uncomfortable tightness struggling to take you all in. 

“F-fuck, you’re so big,” Hyewon cried out, as she tried adjusting to your length, Eunbi smirking proudly at the struggle she was facing already.

“He is right? Are you sure you can handle him? He’s going to be able to fuck you much deeper in this position.”

“Unnie, shut up. I can handle it,” Hyewon snapped back. 

“Well, you heard her. Fuck her, baby.” 

Not even letting your cock enter the deepest part of her pussy, you placed your hands on her soft supple asscheeks and you established a gentle rhythm, using your hips as you slowly fucked Hyewon from behind, her wet walls squeezing you with the tightest grip possible. 

“Oh fuck…” she moaned loudly. 

“Take it nice and slow,” Eunbi whispered into your ear. “And when you think she’s ready, fucking pound her.” 

“Yes, mommy.” 

Encouraged by her instructions, you took things at a slow pace, savoring her wet flesh wrapping around your shaft, Hyewon whimpered and whined and moaned needily as you pumped slowly inside her. 

“How’s that pussy feel, baby?” Eunbi asked as she began peppering your neck with delicate soft kisses. 

“It feels really good, mommy.” 

Even halfway inside Hyewon felt so tight and warm, her heavenly soft flesh squeezing your cock as you gave short, shallow thrusts, building up the pace. 

“You feel so good inside,” Hyewon moaned, as you moved your hands to her hips, watching your cock disappearing between her supple ass. With every thrust it became easier to move in and out of Hyewon, stretching her tight little hole little by little, making her wetter at the same time. 

Words couldn’t describe how tight Hyewon felt, even after a few minutes of moving in and out her she still was a tight fit, her exceptionally tight pussy suffocating your shaft. You used your fingers to rub at her clit, creating whinier moans to escape her lips as you created more wetness around your shaft, aiding your penetration. 

Soon after you were able to stretch her out enough to be able to take more of you, and you let out a satisfied grunt as you fully entered her, bottoming her out with your cock as you withdrew, leaving half of you impaled inside her tight warm cave. 

“H-harder,” Hyewon softly whimpered, her words barely audible. 

“What was that?” Eunbi asked. 

“I-I want to be fucked harder,” Hyewon said.

“Speak up, baby, we can’t hear you.” 

Hyewon took a deep breath. “Harder. Fuck me. Harder,” she said, every word this time crystal clear. 

“You heard her, baby. Go wild.” 

You hadn’t heard a better set of words all day. Growing frustrated with the slow tedious pace, you were happy to be able to fuck Hyewon at your whim, quickly settling into a much more natural pace that you were used to. 

Hearing the pleasurable sounds of flesh against flesh as your hips smacked against Hyewon’s ass, you took advantage of being able to freely fuck her, squeezing her hips as you slammed into her tight hole. 

Hyewon scrambled to grab handfuls of the sheets as you opened her up, her moans increased alongside your speed. 

“She said she can take it, baby, so make her take it. Every inch.” 

You grabbed onto Hyewon’s arms and pulled them behind her, holding her delicate wrists as you fucked her hard from behind, her body being pulled upright just a bit as you went wild and hammered into her cunt. 

You made sure to be deep as possible in this position, as Hyewon’s ass jiggled with every thrust as did her breasts, her cheeks clapping together rhythmically as her whines and whimpering moans grew louder and deeper as did the harsh smacking of flash together. 

Eunbi swung your head around so she could plant deep kisses on your lips, taking some of the focus away as you pounded away into Hyewon’s pussy, pistoning your hips without a care as sweat began dripping down your forehead. 

“Keep pounding her, baby. Don’t stop fucking our little slut until she can’t walk straight tomorrow.”

You felt Hyewon tighten at Eunbi’s use of the word slut and wanted to test it out yourself. 

“Do you like when I fuck you this deep, baby?” you asked. 

After moments of groans and gasping Hyewon responded. “Y-yes, your cock feels so big inside me. I feel so filled.”

“You like being fucked like a slut?”

Hyewon tightened again. “I-i’m not a slut! Not like, Unnie-” she protested. 

“You’re not? If I remember correctly you sucked my cock the first week I moved in here.” 

“It was because you were always hard in the morning! I felt bad for you.” 

Eunbi laughed. “Felt bad, or felt horny?” she said. 

“U-unnie! I’m not a slut!” 

“That’s not what your body says right now. I can feel how fucking wet you are, Hyewon. Your tight little pussy loves my cock.” 

“I-i just wanted to help out. To return the favor, that’s all-” 

“Then you won’t mind if I stop fucking you and fuck Eunbi instead?” 

“N-no! Please! I’m already close, please don’t stop!” 

You dropped her arms and they collapsed against the mattress. “Admit it then.” 

“I-i can’t, I’m not-”

You slowed down your pace considerably, Hyewon whimpered even more. 

“P-please, baby! I’m almost there.”

“Then maybe you should admit it. We both know you’re not as innocent as you pretend you are,” Eunbi said.

Hyewon pondered for a moment as you barely moved inside her. “Fine. I-I’m a slut. I loved sucking your cock in the morning, and I loved when you came inside me.” 

“Was that so hard?” Eunbi asked. “Do you want him to cum inside you again?” 

“Y-yes!” 

“Then tell him, baby.” 

“P-please cum inside me! I want you to pound me and fill my tight little pussy!” Hyewon begged. 

You smirked and resumed your harsh pace, running your hands up her tight sweaty body and cupping her breasts, squeezing them and feeling her hard nipples brushing against your palms as you drilled yourself into her. 

“I’m gonna cum!” Hyewon abruptly said as you felt her walls squeezing you the tightest they ever had. 

“Then fucking cum,” you growled impatiently in response. 

You took a bit of pride in seeing Hyewon like this, her innocent demeanor completely broken down and replaced with lustful desire and need. 

With your hands full of her wonderful warm breasts, you felt her pussy pulsating around you and Hyewon screamed as she came all over your cock, her voice hitting an octave you didn’t even think it could go as her juices saturated her thighs, your shaft, and the bedsheets underneath. So much for not defiling the bed, you thought to yourself with a snicker. 

Her body weakly shook as the aftershocks fired off like bullets, each wave of pleasure threatening to make her whole body collapse. 

“Your turn, baby. You better fill her up,” Eunbi demanded. 

You were already on the brink, and with Eunbi’s words along with the look of desperation Hyewon shot at you, there wasn’t much you could do to hold out. Teetering on the verge of exhaustion, you gave everything you had as you hooked both of Hyewon’s arms and brought her upright, feeling her sweaty back pressed up against your chest as you pounded her pussy. 

“Take it all, baby. Take all my cock you fucking slut,” you hissed, the words seemingly appearing out of nowhere as you buried yourself deep inside Hyewon’s dripping cunt. Without anything to grab on to, Hyewon was at your mercy, fucking her with the last remaining shred of energy you had, your carnal desires fueling your urge to absolutely ruin her. 

Without another word you came inside Hyewon, feeling a sense of relief as you sent your thick hot cum inside her, throbbing and groaning with every single spurt until she was pumped full of your plentiful load. 

“You did so well,” you whispered to Hyewon weakly, as you released her and she collapsed to the bed in front and you followed as you pulled out, your sticky cum staining her thighs as you equally gasped for air. 

"Look how much you came, baby," Eunbi said as her view was on the semen dripping out of Hyewon as you crashed on the side of the bed next to her, struggling to breathe with any kind of regularity. 

"Don't move a muscle, Hyewon," Eunbi ordered, as she bent down between her thighs, and began licking her clean. 

"U-unnie," Hyewon softly whimpered as Eunbi cleaned up the mess you had just left inside her, slurping your load directly from Hyewon’s freshly fucked pussy and greedily swallowing it all, rekindling the fire in your loins and bringing you back to full hardness, something Eunbi took notice of. 

“Don’t relax yet, baby. You still need to give mommy your cum.” 

Hyewon crashed to her side exhausted as you laid down in anticipation of what Eunbi had planned. 

"Mommy wants to ride that cock," Eunbi said as she pounced on your body and you felt her naked thighs straddling your waist, caressing your sweat misted skin and smiling sweetly. 

"Just relax and let mommy do all the work."

Her gaze relaxed you as she kissed you again, this time more lustfully, biting your lower lip and holding on. She grabbed your cock, slickened with the juices of both women and stroked it carefully, teasing her silky wet folds with it. 

“You’re still throbbing for me, baby. Does mommy turn you on this much?” 

“Yes, mommy. You’re so sexy.” 

“I’m glad you think so, baby,” Eunbi said shyly, still teasing her warm flesh with your leaking cock. 

“What do you like about me, baby?” 

“Your pretty eyes. Your sexy hips. Your amazing tits. Your soft thighs. I love everything about you, mommy.” 

Eunbi blushed. “You’re so sweet, baby. I hope you still have some cum stored up in those balls. Mommy wants to ruin you.” 

“Please do, mommy.” 

With your tip still aimed at her tight entrance, Eunbi lifted her hips up and slowly sank down onto your cock, parting her wet flesh and impaling herself. She took the first few inches of your shaft at first, and then slipped every part of you inside her with ease as if showing off and moaning freely at being so full. 

“Oh fuck, baby,” Eunbi moaned loudly, resting her delicate soft hands on your chest. You grabbed onto her waist and stared at her magnificent figure, your mouth drooling over every sinful curve of her body so sculpted to perfection as you eagerly anticipated her next move. 

“You’re so wet, mommy.” 

“All because of you, baby,” Eunbi replied with a charming smile as she began slowly moving her hips, taking you in and out of her body at a delicate pace. Your mind went numb at the warmth and tightness enveloping your shaft, her pussy gripping on tight as if to tell your cock it wasn’t going anywhere but inside her. 

Eunbi threw her head back as her pace increased and she created a steady rhythm, rolling her hips as she rode your cock, taking you to the hilt with every bounce. She was in control in more ways than one, not for her comfort but for yours, only giving as much pleasure as she dictated you needed. 

With her pretty hands still resting upon your chest, her nails began digging into your skin as the look in her eyes became more devilish. 

“Mommy loves your cock,” she said as she picked up the pace, her warm thighs smacking against yours, as you felt mesmerized by the way her huge breasts bounced.

Eunbi grew tired of her sensual nature and began slamming herself against your shaft, her tight cunt dripping juices each time she was filled to the hilt, She became more and more aggressive by the second, leaning her body forward to kiss and lick your neck before blowing hot air in your ear. 

“Hyewon might get to fuck you while you live together, but mommy owns this cock. She’s just borrowing it when I’m not around.” 

“It belongs to you, mommy.” 

“Don’t either of you forget that,” she said as she violently rode your cock, her warm skin slapping against your own flesh as her cunt was repeatedly penetrated as deep as possible, riding with vigor as her ass plump bouncing wildly against your cock. 

“Mommy needs these balls drained, baby. You’ll give mommy your cum, won’t you?”

“Y-yes, mommy. I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Anything?” 

“Yes, mommy. Anything.”

“What if mommy wants to keep riding you after you cum?” 

“Then mommy can keep riding me as long as she wants.” 

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” Eunbi asked as she grabbed your hands and placed them on her tits. You nodded and squeezed them both, playing with her hard nipples with your fingers. 

“You like mommy’s tits, don’t you?”

“I love them. Your tits are so amazing, Mommy.” 

Liking what she heard, Eunbi grabbed the back of your head and brought her chest to your face, smothering you with her delicious breasts. The soft flesh of her heavy tits against your face felt so comforting and heavenly, you never wanted them to leave. 

“Oh fuck, baby, mommy might cum soon.” 

You loved every moment, every sensation sent through your body. You didn’t mind Eunbi using you to get off, you wanted nothing more but to please her. 

Eunbi rode you so hard that you were sure the bed was going to break, clearly enjoying vigorously using your cock. 

“Unnie, don’t break him,” Hyewon teased as she rested her tired body up against Eunbi, burying her face into the crook of her neck. 

“All rested up for round two?” Eunbi asked. Hyewon tiredly shook her head. 

“No, I just wanted to play with these,” Hyewon said as she felt up her chest, cupping her breasts softly and giving a gentle squeeze, stealing the large mounds from the comfort of your face and into her own hands.

“Don’t be selfish, Hyewon,” Eunbi said. The two exchanged saliva as their lips met and tongues clashed, Hyewon giving into the older woman. 

Eunbi’s juices vigorously flowed out of her cunt, the added stimulation of Hyewon’s hands exploring her chest, pinching her nipples brought her new uncontrollable pleasure that she couldn’t hold back any longer. 

“Is mommy going to cum?” Hyewon asked, surprising the room by warming up to the use of Eunbi's insistent title. 

“I am,” Eunbi softly said, laughing at Hyewon’s use of the word. 

“Cum for us, mommy,” Hyewon innocently said, and it seemed to trigger Eunbi’s second climax of the night as she slipped into a euphoric trance as all her senses were shaken, tightening around your cock and leaking enough juices to almost slip out of her. 

Once she came down from her high, you felt the enthusiastic bounce of her hips as she intended to draw out your own climax as Hyewon still clung to her body. 

“I forgot how needy you are after you cum,” Eunbi teased. “I-i’m not-” Hyewon protested, proving the opposite as she kissed Eunbi’s shoulders. 

“Are you close baby?” Eunbi asked as she grabbed your hands and interlocked your fingers with hers, pinning your arms above your head. “If not you will be,” she smirked. 

“Cum inside mommy,” she demanded as she gave her all, slamming herself down with the only intention to drain you. Her hair was out of place, sweat dripping all over her body, making her jiggling breasts look even more appetizing, she had never looked sexier. Eunbi was in total control of you, and you were going to finish inside her whether you wanted or not, not that you ever would have rejected that idea. 

You laid there helplessly as Eunbi rode your cock without mercy, her sweaty thighs slapping against your own as you struggled to gather your senses, waiting for the inevitable as the pressure in your abdomen grew. 

“M-mommy, I’m gonna cum,” you cried out, every syllable difficult to form as they left your lips. Her eyes lit up in anticipation. You didn’t hold on anymore, not that you could, but you stared into Eunbi’s eyes and the lustful look that demanded your release sent you over the edge. 

“Cum for mommy,” she said as if those three seductive words were the final bit of permission you needed. You groaned needily as your throbbing cock exploded inside her, filling up her walls as she drained the final spurts of cum left just for her, somehow equally as much as you had given Hyewon. 

“Such a good boy,” she said as she kissed your forehead. You wondered if she was going to keep going, keeping you to your word of not stopping but mercifully she seemed satisfied. 

Giving you a few moments to rest she slowly and gingerly lifted her body off of your cock an inch at a time, the three of you watching the dripping thick load leaked between her thighs, the result of your combined juices seeping out. 

Hyewon looked in awe. “I can’t believe you can still cum so much. “ 

“I have that effect on people,” she proudly boasted. You laid there barely able to move, twitching as you felt their mouths returning to your cock, lips and tongues cleaning up your shaft and running all over your drained balls. 

Moments after you passed out from exhaustion.

                                                              ✦✦

The morning after was a blur. You arose before anyone else, still wondering if the night before was a wonderful dream that you unfairly never acted out. The mess of stained sheets and naked limbs surrounding you and the weight of both gorgeous women perched on your chest thankfully meant everything became a reality, but you still pinched yourself just in case. 

"Good morning…" you heard a voice softly say sleepily.

"Good morning, mommy," you responded as you saw Eunbi waking up. 

"I love when you call me that," she said as she left sweet tender kisses on your chest. "It turns me on so much."

"Did you sleep well, mommy?" you asked, repeating the word.

"I did, baby, thanks to you. I'm still wet though, just thinking about you."

Eunbi’s pretty fingers ran through out of place strands of your hair, playing with them. 

"And it looks like you're excited this morning thinking about mommy," she said as she grabbed your cock and stroked slowly. You moaned at her touch and she smiled devilishly. 

"Maybe mommy should jerk you off right here."

"We shouldn't wake her."

"Hyewon? She'll be out for a while, you really did a number on her."

"Still, I'd hate to disturb her."

"How about a quickie in the shower while she rests?” Eunbi asked. 

"Now that's a great idea." You carefully removed yourself from underneath Hyewon, trying not to wake her. Eunbi literally grabbed you by the dick and led you to the bathroom, letting the water get as hot as it could before stepping inside. 

You didn’t know what it was about both women that seemed to love their scalding hot showers, but you weren’t going to question it given the view in front of you. 

Not long after you wettened you hair, Eunbi turned the shower into her own erotic show as she soaped up her voluptuous body and lathered up her massive tits. Knowing you couldn’t divert your eyes she played with her own nipples, pinching and pulling on them as she moaned and you quickly felt yourself growing hard as a rock. 

“You like watching mommy get clean?” Eunbi asked as she bit her lip. Before you could answer the shower door opened and Hyewon joined the fun. 

“Hey! You started without me,“ she frowned. 

“You looked so peaceful, we didn’t want to wake you,” Eunbi said. 

"Nice excuse, unnie. You just wanted his cock to yourself."

"You caught me red-handed. And what happened to mommy?"                        

Hyewon blushed and turned shy. 

“Just clean me, " Eunbi said. 

You couldn’t help but feel they were teasing you, soaping up each other's bodies and kissing each other at the same time as the water ran down their flushed skin. As always, Eunbi felt the need to up the ante, using her knee to spread Hyewon’s wet thighs and grinding against her core. 

“F-fuck, mommy-” Hyewon moaned. 

“You wanna ride mommy’s thigh don’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, mommy,” she desperately responded, trying to force any bit of friction she could against Eunbi’s muscular toned thigh. Eunbi allowed it for a few moments, finding it cute how needy she always was as she brought her fingers to her breasts, playing with Hyewon’s swollen sensitive nipples before grabbing her hips and ceasing her movements. 

“You shouldn’t cum before our guest does,” Hyewon whined but didn’t voice a complaint. 

She grabbed Hyewon by the ass and pulled her towards her body, their wet soapy breasts mashing together. 

“Hyewon.” 

“Yes, mommy?” 

“Follow my lead.” 

Eunbi knelt on the shower’s tile floor, Hyewon quickly followed, both stroking your cock. Eunbi angled her body to the side as the water ran over your chest. Soaping up her tits even more, she grabbed your cock and placed it in between her soapy cleavage, wrapping her breasts around your shaft. 

She didn’t move yet, and Hyewon caught on quickly, matching her position on the opposite side with her wet breasts smothering the other side of your shaft. You realized what exactly was about to happen, and nothing could prepare you for it. 

They flashed each other a look, and the moment they started moving together you absolutely lost it as they created friction, sandwiching your cock in between the heavy warm flesh of their tits.

“Holy fuck,” you moaned, and they both let out gasps at the result of their sensitive nipples grinding against each other. As if that weren’t enough, Eunbi leaned in to take a kiss from Hyewon who returned her advances, as the two messily sucked each other's faces. 

You had no doubt in your mind that this is what heaven was like. 

“Like that, baby?” Eunbi said.

“You have no fucking idea.” 

They both giggled and watched as you lost your mind even more. You didn’t dare close your eyes for a second, keeping your eyes glued to the way their perfect tits assaulted your cock, struggling to keep your composure as the intense pleasure spiked through every bit of your body. 

“Fuck, I’m not gonna last very long.” 

“Mommy wouldn’t expect you to.” 

Just a few more moments was all you could handle, the warmth of both of their breasts squeezing and massaging your cock was too much. You throbbed in between them as you groaned loud enough to echo around the shower walls as you filled up their cleavage with cum and painted their pretty faces and they proudly wore your warmth on their features. 

The two shared a series of giggles before Eunbi licked your sticky warmth off Hyewon’s face, the younger returning the favor before licking each other's faces clean, kissing each other with cum-stained lips and eagerly swapping your load. 

They kissed your depleted shaft as you weakly leaned yourself against the shower’s cold tiles, forcing your eyes open as Hyewon rode Eunbi’s thigh to completion and Eunbi gushed all over Hyewon’s slim fingers in a matter of moments. 

The three of you dressed and dried off in relative silence, recovering from the events of the past 24 hours. 

“What happens now? With the case?” you asked. 

“We don’t exactly know ourselves. We’ll have to figure out what happened, what went wrong, and if our information was inaccurate. This is a huge setback,” Eunbi said.  

“We’ll be spending most of next week recovering from this. And we were so close too,” Hyewon frustratedly said. 

“It can’t be helped, these things happen sometimes and we’ll have to prevent it from happening again,” Eunbi reassuringly replied. 

“No more talk about work. How about some breakfast, Hyewon?” 

“Right away. How does pancakes sound?” 

“Amazing,” you said.

“Make an extra batch. We’re going to need to save up our energy for later.”  

                                                         ✦✦

“Hey. It's me. No, they don’t have any idea. Fucking idiots. Their operation was a failure in every possible way.” 

“No, it was thanks to you too, boss. Yes, the account number is still the same. I can’t show you my gratitude enough, I’ll be able to pay off these fucking loans finally. “

“I’m not sure, I’m sure they’re scrambling like chickens with their head cut off. I’ll be able to find out more on Monday. Yes, I’ll be careful. I’ll see you in a week. “

[limepigeon]

@crownleys organised an evening of writing sprints over at the Zombies, Fanworks! Discord tonight and here’s what I wrote! I can’t remember if I’ve ever written fanfic for the ZR fandom so it was great fun! Of course I had to write something about everyone’s favourite Radio Boyfriends. Thanks again for organising this Emma! Title: Get it out (or Jack helps Eugene deal with his emotions in a Jack way) Fandom: Zombies, Run! Words: 1,432 Warnings: None Set during Season 1 Notes: I’m sorry if there are spelling/grammar errors in it, I wrote it in two hours and gave it a quick little edit/proof reading but some things may have slipped by (they usually do haha).

Eugene hardly ever gets angry. He doesn’t cause any scenes. If anything he prefers keeping any arguments under a tightly shut lid. Let it simmer for a while until it either fizzes out or boils over. Tonight is the third sleepless night, caused by an unusual large horde taking their sweet time dragging rotten feet across the vast meadows outside of Abel. Everyone is on edge, sure, but Jack and Eugene are the ones trying to keep morale up. “And that’s day three…” Jack sighs into the microphone, “still no signs of stopping. I’m sorry folks but this thing seems to go on forever. Just kilometer after kilometer of endless zombies, all the way to the horizon. There are some places where you can’t even see the ground! I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many in one and the same-“ He’s interrupted by an exasperated groan. “Will you please shut up?” Eugene’s voice is harsh. There’s none of the usual warmth that makes even the coldest of nights comfortable in his presence. He’s rubbing his temples slowly, his eyebrows drawn together tightly. “I’m sorry?” Jack doesn’t even try to not sound offended. “Is my voice bothering you?” “Little bit, yes” Eugene says without as much as looking at Jack. “Too bad, ‘cause this is our job, talking is my job.” “Well, your job is drilling a hole through my skull.” Eugene puts his forehead in his palms and stares at the small red light indicating that they’re still broadcasting. It’s been on for what feels like hours. “Put on a song” he says. “But we have to send out Dr. Myers report on-“ “Put on the fucking song” Eugene demands, punctuating each word harshly, and Jack barely has the time to switch on the CD before Eugene rips his headphones off his head and lets the chair slam into the ground as he stands up.

“Hey Gene, what’s the matter?” Jack reaches out for Eugene’s shoulder but he moves out of the way.   “Aren’t you sick of this?” Eugene mutters while keeping his eyes fixed at the ground. Jack sighs. “Well, it would be nice if they left so we could get some proper sleep, yeah” he says. “I don’t mean the zombies” Eugene says, “I mean all of it.” He seems to lean onto his crutch more than usual. His whole posture seems off. The air outside is chilly now that the sun has set, even though it’s summer. “Gene, I get it, it’s okay to be upset about this, everyone’s-“ Jack gets interrupted again. “I’m not upset Jack! I’m fucking pissed!” The shouting takes Jack by surprise. He can’t remember the last time he’d seen Eugene like this. At least not since… He shakes the past out of his head. “Oh, okay then, uh...” It’s all he can manage. “About what?” “Everything! All this bullshit! We’re just sitting here, talking shit that doesn’t even matter! People are dying out there Jack, and what do we do? We joke, and we laugh, as if that’s what the world needs right now! We’re just…! I’m- I can’t-“ His words get jumbled before his voice cracks. “Hey, hey love, it’s okay” Jack grabs Eugene by his arms “it’s okay.” “I’m just so tired, I don’t know what to do.” Eugene looks into Jack’s eyes, probably for the first time for the entire evening. There’s pain, sure - there always is during hard nights, but there’s something else. Something stuck deep in Eugene, aching to get out. Jack wants to tell him he’s talking shit, that their job is important. That Eugene is important, and not just to Jack. But he knows that’s not what he needs right now. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Jack heads into the tiny shed used for their broadcasts and is back outside in less than a minute. There aren’t many hills in Abel, which is quite ideal when putting up the makeshift homes for newcomers to the township. The radio tower, which has been there long before Jack and Eugene arrived, stands just about a hundred meters away from Janine’s farmhouse at the highest point of Abel. “It’s freezing Jack, what are we even doing here?” Eugene complains. His good leg has started aching from the climb and he didn’t bring any mittens either. “Something that always makes me feel better when I’m angry” Jack smiles. Eugene raises an eyebrow to show his skepticism. “Oi, don’t give me that look! I promise, it’s nothing dirty!” Jack jokingly punches Eugene’s shoulder and Eugene sighs. “You know I love you, but you know what your problem is, Gene? You’re always so bloody calm and collected. When was the last time you just let it all go?” “I, uh” Eugene starts but quickly falters. “Jack, what are we doing here?” His voice grows a bit more cautious. “We’re going to scream” Jack looks at Eugene almost triumphantly and Gene can’t help but laugh. “Oh, you’re serious?” Eugene’s has something akin to terror creeping onto his face when he realizes Jack is in fact not joking. “Dead serious, my man” Jack says and slaps Eugene’s back. “Now go on!” “I’m not going to scream” Eugene protests and he looks like he’s about to turn around to start the journey down the hill. He’s not prepared for the sound and his whole body tenses up in reaction to it. It’s loud, but different from what he’s heard during his time outside the walls, or in their tent at night when his partner wakes him up in a sweat-drenched panic. The scream now is lighter, not nearly is dreadful as the ones Eugene is used to. Afterwards there’s an almost as loud burst of laughter. “What the hell, Jack?” Eugene exclaims as he spins around, only to find Jack almost doubled over. He smiles at Eugene with a wide grin which is incredibly infectious. “Your turn” he says once he’s managed to catch his breath, only a little hoarse. “Come on.” He reaches out his hand towards Eugene, who with the help of his crutches moves closer to Jack. He can’t help but smile.

Janine tends to stay up late. Tonight she’s found something else that needs repairing. The radio has been on for the last couple of days, she likes to keep herself updated on the situation and maybe especially so at night. She barely listens to the song playing, only annoyed at how it interferes with the updates on the horde. Then it abruptly stops as Jack’s voice replaces the tunes. “Very sorry listeners, but I have some urgent business to attend to! We’ll be back shortly, in high spirits! Stay safe!”   She looks out of the kitchen window as two figures make their way up the hill towards the farmhouse. For a second she dreads the possibility of an unannounced drop by but as they start moving towards the radio tower her shoulders lowers again. She follows them with her gaze and even by just the light of the full moon she recognizes Jack and Eugene. Curious by her nature she opens the window just a crack, letting the summer air creep in. She moves some dirty dishes from the counter to the sink and brings her project from the kitchen table. Before the end of the world she had the TV on while working, not as company of course, Janine de Luca would like you to know she was not a lonely woman. It is the same now. She doesn’t watch the two men out of loneliness; she simply wants to know what’s going on in their lives. What Jack Holden and Eugene Woods do when no one else is around, when they are comfortable just the two of them. She’s seen the way they look at each other and lets her mind drift to an imaginary future where maybe something like that could, perhaps, be possible for her too? The first scream almost makes her jam the screwdriver into her hand. She curses loudly while looking out of the window bewildered, and then sighs when she watches the two men up on the hill. The second scream comes a few minutes later. It’s different. Unfamiliar and filled with more emotions than Janine thought possible to fit inside of a person all at once. It lasts at least twice as long as the first one and ends almost in a wail.

The calm silence lingering afterwards lasts for a couple of minutes, until it starts up again. Then the screams starts mixing together with laughter until there’s only the latter left. Janine shakes her head, thinking how everyone in Abel must be just as startled as her. Then she smiles.

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Keeping Me Alive

Chapter 9: Never Too Late

by @dracusfyre

The answer turned out to be six weeks. Six weeks of bluffing through phone calls, six weeks of faking it when Stane came by to check his progress, six weeks’ worth of “still trying to get the math to work out” and “unexpected difficulties.” He’d handed over the updated prototypes to the miniature arc reactor two weeks ago, though he’d made sure to transpose some numbers deep in the schematics to give them some trouble until they figured out the mistake. He could see the frustration growing on Stane’s face and in his voice, and each time it happened his stomach swooped with fear and he considered giving in. But each time he managed to kept his mouth shut; each time he told himself, maybe tomorrow, but not today. He knew he couldn't keep stalling forever though, and that knowledge was a lead weight in his stomach every time he woke up.

The night his time ran out, Tony was nursing a glass of whiskey and staring at the fire in the fireplace, thoughts far away. The sound of his door unlocking made him jump and his heart was still racing from adrenaline when he saw Stane open the door. It started beating double time when he saw that for the first time in weeks, Stane was in a good mood.

“Good evening, Tony,” Stane said cheerfully as he closed the door behind him.

Tony had to swallow twice before he could speak. “Stane,” he said, and set his whiskey down on the coffee table when he saw that his hands were shaking. Stane in a good mood was much more terrifying than Stane in a bad one.

“I just swung by to check in and see how you were doing,” Stane said, and Tony watched him warily as he approached, noticing that Stane hadn’t taken off his coat or his shoes, like he wasn’t planning to stay long. He had no idea what that meant, but a change in routine was never good.

“I sent an email update yesterday,” Tony said, and he had. He’d pointed out a lot of problems in the current suit design and had made suggestions while managing to not actually give any solutions. It had taken him hours to write something that spectacularly unhelpful and he had been perversely proud of it.

“Yeah, I saw that email,” Stane said, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at the fire as well. He picked up the poker and moved some of the logs around and the fire flared, reflecting red and orange on Stane’s skin. “But you know, when I was reading it, I kept getting the feeling that you were holding out on me.”

“No,” Tony said automatically, palms starting to sweat. “I’m not. I – I wouldn’t.”

“You see, that’s what I keep telling myself,” Stane said. When he turned to face Tony, the iron poker was still in his hand. Tony’s eyes fell to it and he swallowed thickly. He wanted to run, but his limbs were frozen as Stane came closer. “But then I think, Tony miniaturized the arc reactor after six months in a cave, something Howard couldn’t do in forty years.” Stane lifted the poker and set the tip of it against the arc reactor, pressing Tony back against the couch. He gasped at the pain and pressure as Stane started to lean on him, feeling like the arc reactor casing was squeezing the air from his lungs. “And this, this mechanized suit thing, isn't half as complicated as that. So I have to ask. Are you holding out on me?”

Tony stared up at Stane, who was looking down at him with a sort of patient indifference while Tony struggled to breathe. His breaths were coming fast and quick as he started to panic, and he kicked out at Stane, trying to make him back off. He grabbed at the poker and tried to push it away from him but Stane just leaned harder, the tip of the poker screeching as it etched a line in the protective glass of the arc reactor. Tony knew in that moment that Stane was fully prepared to kill him if he didn’t get an answer he liked and with that knowledge, he suddenly realized that he didn’t care. So he tightened his jaw against the pain, met Stane’s eyes, and stopped struggling. Kill me, he dared Stane with his gaze, since he couldn’t breathe to speak. Fuck you. I'd rather die.

And that was when Stane took a step back and threw the poker to the side, the ring of it against the marble floor echoing loudly. “I was afraid of this,” he said with a sigh. “Get up.”

As soon as the pressure was gone, Tony sat forward and curled over his knees, raggedly sucking air into lungs that felt bruised, each breath like a knife in his chest. Pain radiated out from the arc reactor, pulsing in time with his heart. He was staring sightlessly at the rug at his feet, spots crossing his vision as the need for air fought with the tight bands constricting his chest, when he heard Stane make an impatient noise and felt him grab the back of Tony’s shirt.

“I said get up,” Stane said irritably, pulling him off the couch. Tony staggered to his feet, hand on the arm of the couch as he steadied himself. “Let’s go. You need to see something.” He shoved Tony towards the door and Tony stumbled, almost falling on the way to Stane’s car, the concrete of the driveway scraping his bare feet.

“Where are we going?” Tony finally managed as the pain in his chest subsided to a dull ache.

“You’ll see soon enough,” Stane said. Tony sat very still and quiet in the passenger seat for the rest of the ride, fear keeping his throat closed tight as he tried not to draw Stane’s attention. It felt like another blow to the arc reactor would break him in half, split him open right down the middle like a log, and he wouldn't be able to keep from spilling every secret he’d been trying to keep.

After a few minutes of driving, Stane turned on the radio. The sound of a conservative talk show filled the dense silence in the car, an incongruous counterpoint to the tension that had Tony’s hands clenched into fists in his lap. They drove for over an hour before Stane pulled off the highway, then they spent another hour on back roads before pulling up to a back entrance of the LA port facilities. Stane showed his drivers license to the guard at the gate, and after studying it for a moment the man saluted and said “Heil Hydra” before buzzing them through. They parked at one of the dozens if not hundreds of anonymous warehouses that lined the shipyard, with only a number on the side of the building to distinguish it from the others. A keycode and fingerprint scan opened the door, which led to a blank hallway with a concrete floor and corrugated metal walls. The place was almost ominous in its banality. At the far end was another door, and Tony knew that whatever was on the other side of this was what had Stane in such a good mood.

“Here we go,” Stane said as he opened it. Tony reluctantly followed him through it, warily studying the room as he stepped inside. One side of the room was lined with hooks where body armor, helmets, and other gear hung, with a wooden bench lined up in front of a wall of lockers. In the far corner was a large munitions locker filled with rifles, handguns, and ammo cans. On the back wall of the room was what looked like an ancient upright hyperbaric chamber, rounded glass and blackened steel with a variety of cords and hoses running to it. Computers filled up most of the space in the middle along with a large metal machine, and on the third wall crates with the Stark Industries logo were stacked up almost to the ceiling.

And in the center of the room, Tony finally realized, sat the Winter Soldier. Tony felt his face go slack with shock, because this was the Soldier as Tony had never seen him: stripped of his weapons and bare-chested, no face mask or goggles. If it wasn’t for the metal arm Tony wouldn’t have even known who he was looking at, and the surprise seemed to short-circuit Tony’s normal seething hatred. The Soldier was sitting in a heavy metal chair that was haloed with some sort of machinery, staring straight ahead while white-coated technicians moved around him, checking the device and looking at something on the computers that were hooked up to the chair.

“Come on,” Stane said, and started towards him. When Tony didn’t follow, feet rooted to the floor with dread, Stane grabbed his arm and dragged him forward. They stopped about ten feet away from the chair, just far enough away that they weren’t going to disturb the work of the technicians but close enough that Tony could almost count the stubble on the Soldier’s jaw.

“Get a good look,” Stane said. He put his heavy, meaty hand on the back of Tony’s neck, keeping his head facing the Soldier, as if Tony could drag his eyes away from the man in front of them. As they’d approached, the Soldier’s eyes had flickered towards them, studying them. They lingered on Tony’s face for a long moment, and a slight line appeared between his eyebrows before he looked away. Tony noticed, incongruously, that his eyes were an icy blue, almost gray, but were strangely vacant as he stared across the room and ignored the activity around him, just like he always did with Tony. Without his normal tac gear, Tony could see that the metal of the arm went well into his chest; ropy, thick keloid scars marked the boundary between skin and metal.

That was also when Tony noticed the restraints on the Soldier’s arms, binding him to the chair.

“What-“ Tony started, but Stane squeezed him by the nape of his neck and shook him slightly to silence him.

“See, you seem to think death is the worst thing we can do to you,” Stane said into his ear. “Or torture. Pain and death, that’s all you think we can do. Kill you, kill your friends, blah blah blah. Right?” When Tony didn’t move, too stiff with fear, Stane put his hand on the back of Tony’s head and forced it up and down in a parody of a nod. “But it’s not. You see, with this machine, we can take your mind, pour it into a blender and,” at this, Stane got close enough that Tony could feel his breath, making his skin crawl, “pour whatever we want back in.”  Stane straightened. “Watch.”

Stane went up the Soldier and took a chair from one of the technicians so that he could sit with his face level to the Soldier's. “What’s your name?” he asked him, and the man’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. After a moment he just shook his head. “It’s James,” Stane said. “Your name is James Barnes and you were born in Brooklyn, did you know that?” The Soldier shook his head again. Stane threw a smirk over his shoulder at Tony before turning back to the Soldier. “Mission report,” he ordered.

At this, the look of confusion cleared. “Level 9 target eliminated. All witnesses eliminated. Package retrieved. All combatants returned to extraction point with minimal injuries. No damage sustained to Hydra property,” the Soldier reported. His voice was softer than Tony expected, but gravelly with disuse.

Stane turned to Tony and said, “Did you want to ask him any questions?” When Tony only shook his head, Stane frowned. “Spoilsport,” he complained, but he stood and gestured for Tony to take his place in the chair. Tony stepped forward reluctantly, an awful sense of dread making his limbs heavy. It wasn’t cold in the room but Tony felt a chill anyway, almost deep enough to make him shiver.

“Stane, please,” Tony said, not even sure what he was pleading for. Stop. Don’t make me do this. He didn’t even know what was going on, but something was deeply wrong here and it was making Tony feel a bone-deep terror that he hadn’t felt since he’d woken up to see Stane at his kitchen table when he was 18 years old.

“Sit,” Stane ordered, and shoved Tony into the chair. Now Tony was close enough to see the darker line of blue that circled the Soldier’s irises and the chapped skin of his lips, the cleft in his chin and the straight line of his nose. The Soldier was staring at him, and once Tony met his eyes he couldn’t look away. “Do you know who this man is?” Stane asked him, and after a moment of hesitation, the Soldier shook his head. “This is Tony Stark,” Stane said. “Remember that.” As the Soldier nodded once, Tony heard Stane ask the technicians, “Is everything ready?”

“Yes, sir.” At that, one of them came forward and put a hand on the Soldier's shoulder, pushing him against the back of the chair. The machinery that surrounded the chair began to hum as it lowered into position. The whole time, the Soldier’s eyes never left Tony’s, which is why Tony could see the exact moment when the blankness sharpened and turned into fear as he realized what was happening. A bite guard was forced into his mouth, and Tony could see his hands clench into fists and strain against the clamps binding him to the chair. After a moment a headset came down to surround the Soldier’s head, forcing it back until he was looking at the ceiling. Until now, he had been almost completely silent, but as the machine whirred to life, Tony heard a strangled whimper and saw the Soldier try to flinch away from the metal that was covering his face.  Tony closed his eyes and tried to turn his face away but Stane was behind him and forced his head forward.

“Watch,” Stane said. “Or I’ll make you flip the switch.”

Tony opened his eyes. A technician glanced towards Stane and must have gotten the go-ahead because he looked down at the panel in front of him and activated the machine. There was the sound of electricity buzzing and the Soldier jerked, screaming. The tendons of his neck stood out from the strength of his screams and they echoed off the metal walls, burrowing deep into Tony’s ears until he thought he’d hear the ring of them for the rest of his life. He watched as the Soldier's back bowed and his body convulsed, feeling like he was going to throw up. The sound of electricity cycled louder and louder, and the Soldier kept screaming even as his voice grew ragged, until finally the machine stopped and the room fell silent. The Soldier went limp, panting, as the headset lifted off of him and he was allowed to sit up again. His face was pale and his hair soaked with sweat, and he shivered in the aftermath, still twitching slightly.

“Hey,” Stane said, snapping his fingers at the Soldier. After a second, the Soldier focused his gaze on Stane. “What’s your name?” The Soldier's brow furrowed as he thought, and after a moment he shook his head. “What’s his name?” he asked, gesturing to Tony. The Soldier glanced at Tony, features blank with unrecognition. He shook his head again, and Stane slapped him. The sudden sharp noise made Tony jump. “I told you to remember,” Stane said sternly, and the Soldier swallowed but still shook his head after a long minute. “Fine. Give me a mission report.” The Soldier's agitation just got worse, and he shook his head again.  “Release his restraints,” Stane told the technician, then took a pistol from the small of his back and handed it to the Soldier. “Now take this apart and put it back together.” Looking relieved to finally get an order he understood, the Soldier's hands flew over the gun, and in moments it was pieces, all the way to the hammer and slide release spring, then it was back together, locked and loaded. Stane smiled approvingly and said, “Now unless you can tell me what your name is, I want you to point the gun at your temple and-“

“Stane!” Tony shouted as the Soldier's hand started to move.

“Yeah, I think you get the point,” Stane said. He took the gun out of the Soldier's unresisting hands. “No use beating a dead horse.” With a painful grip under Tony’s arm, he pulled him out of the chair to stand facing him. “You do get the point, right?” Stane said, picking a piece of lint off Tony’s shirt and flicking it to the side. “If not, let me make it crystal fucking clear. If you think you can take your secrets to your grave, that you can defy Hydra and there’s nothing we can do about it, you’re wrong. All we gotta do is stick you in that chair, give you a few targeted pulses of electricity to your hippocampus and neo-cortex, among others, and you’ll do anything. I. Say," he said, finger tapping the arc reactor for emphasis after each word.

Tony stared at Stane and absolutely believed him. Whatever happened in that chair wasn’t just about pain, it was about erasing; whoever the Soldier was - James, if that was really his name and not just something Stane made up – had been before, Hydra had erased him so thoroughly that not even his name remained, just the Soldier. Tony tried to imagine the terror of that, of having his memories and his personality and his will taken from him, every bit of him laid bare while Hydra picked over what they wanted and discarded what they didn’t. “I understand,” Tony managed.

“Good!” Stane said with a smile. “So when I say, ‘design me a fucking mechanized suit, Tony,’ what are you going to do?”

“Design the suit.”    

“Right answer.” Stane put his arm around Tony’s shoulders and led him towards the exit. “Let’s get you home.”

Tony was silent the whole way. Stane, on the other hand, was still in a great mood, switching talk radio for golden oldies and drumming his hands on the steering wheel. Tony only spoke when spoken to, giving only one word answers as Stane came inside for a drink and rambled something about the SI board of directors. He felt numb inside but forced himself to nod and answer in all the right places, until finally Stane tired of whatever game he was playing and left.

When the door finally closed behind him, Tony stood and went to the windows that faced out onto the ocean. Save who you can. Mourn who you can’t. Never forget, never forgive, and if you get a chance to escape, don't look back. Tony could still hear the Soldier's screams and see Stane’s smile, and as he stared at his reflection in the dark glass, he knew he was going to do something very, very stupid.

[katahnisharma]

the press tour [11 pt. 1] | t.h.

Word Count: 1.9 K 

Warnings: Because Claire @neverlandparker​ is a cutie and gave me the idea of splitting up chapter 11 into two parts, the second part will be out Tuesday!

Summary: You’re a new, inexperienced actress plucked from the obscurity of everyday life to play the lead in the reboot of a famous British Jane Austen novel, and Tom Holland just so happens to be playing your love interest.

A/N: This is a little shorter but I wanted to get into Tom’s head a little and have you guys understand him a bit :) I’m a little down so if you could just tell my if you liked this or legit even hated it I’d love the feedback! Also Tumblr apparently won’t let me link things so if you’re looking for my masterlist, playlist, taglist, or writing challenge it’s in my bio ♡

“Haz, I would come to the pub quiz, but we just went on a double date and I don’t really want to spend anymore time with him. It bothers Adrian.” You were on the phone with Harrison the Saturday after the date, which had ended as awkwardly as it began. After Tom and Adrian came back from the bathroom, you could tell they had fought over something. Tom wouldn’t look at you the rest of the time, and he barely said two words. Adrian kept a possessive hand on your thigh, which only made you uneasy. Zendaya, though she gave it her best effort, couldn’t salvage the night.

You were so relieved when it was over.

“Ah yes, the dinner date from hell. How was it? Tom wouldn’t say much about it.” Harrison laughed, shooing Monty away from his feet. You were in LA and he was in London, but he’d been trying to get you to visit for weeks now. You knew you couldn’t keep putting it off.

“It was terrible, the whole thing was so awkward. Poor Z tried to make it work, but Tom wasn’t having it. He and Adrian were in the bathroom together for a while so I know something went down, but Adrian won’t tell me anything. Of course, it’s obvious he has a problem with Tom and I just can’t handle the stress.” You whined, collapsing on your couch and avoiding Bailey’s piles of paper everywhere. She’d been in the process of a massive reorganization and your house looked like a bomb had gone off.

“See, this is why you need to get away. Just come over for the weekend, let Adrian sort himself out. It’ll be fun, I promise. And Charlotte misses you, she says you’re more fun than Tom and I.” Harrison pleaded, his voice dropping a bit when Tom came into the room. He raised an eyebrow at Harrison and mouthed Who’s that?.

“You know, I’m going to regret this. But fine, I’ll come this weekend. I need a vacation, even if staying with you is more like being your maid.” You sighed, getting up to go pack. Tom sat next to Harrison and pretended like he was on his phone, but he was really trying to listen in on the conversation. The voice on the other end sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

“Great, everyone will be so happy! Monty is excited, I can already tell. Fly out tonight and I’ll come pick you up at the airport. And don’t worry, I’ll leave you-know-who behind.”  whispered, shoving Tom away who was trying to listen in. You chuckled and found your suitcase behind your closet, taking it out and checking to make sure it was big enough.

“Thanks Haz, I’ll see you soon.” You hung up and started folding clothes to take, texting Bailey to let her know you’d be leaving and to tell Adrian. It had been weird between you two after the date, and you knew it should have been you telling him but you didn’t want to deal with the fallout. Bailey would be able to talk him down.

“Who was that?” Tom asked, trying to be nonchalant about it. Harrison rolled his eyes, knowing that he was secretly curious, but he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to tell him about you. Tom would definitely not be calm about it.

But then again, you were going to be here in a couple of hours.

“Um, it was Y/N. She’s coming here for the weekend.” Harrison said, ignoring Tom’s open mouth. Tom felt his heart drop and race simultaneously, not sure how he was going to handle seeing you. What was he going to do, just avoid you the entire time to ignore his feelings? Tom hadn’t spoken to Zendaya in days, and even she knew the reason why.

“Oh, um, that’s cool. Cool, yeah, you know….Y/N’s cool. Great, I’m gonna go shower. Maybe...uh...I can come with you to the airport?” Tom stuttered, trying to hide his nerves. Harrison wanted to laugh, but restrained himself.

“If you want? I mean, just don’t do anything stupid please.” Harrison said, getting up to change. Tom nodded silently, his mind racing with all the things he had to do to get ready. He’d need to shave, change his clothes, appear like he wasn’t a nervous wreck. Appear like he was over you, when he’d fallen deeper. It was like fighting his heart, and Tom was losing

Shit, why did you have to come and make everything difficult?

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“This has to be the stupidest thing you’ve done in a while” Bailey was quick to give you her opinion while you were packing, and part of you knew she was right.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

“Okay, thank you. Love that you’re so concerned, but I’ll be fine. If Tom is there, I’m just gonna ignore him.” You said, zipping up your bag. There wasn’t much to take for the weekend, and you never packed much to begin with. Bailey opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind at the last minute.

“Alright, everything’s done. My flight is in an hour and a half, so I’m gonna head out now. You’ll be okay alone, right?” You teased, watching her roll her eyes with a smile.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m a big girl, I think I can take care of myself. Keep me updated, okay? And if it gets too weird, just come home. Harrison will just have to deal with Tom on his own.” Bailey replied, helping you carry your purse downstairs.

“Seriously, what’s the worst that can happen? He tries to kiss me or something, which we both know will NEVER happen. We both don’t like each other, Tom will stay away from me I can guarantee it.” You said, waving to the driver outside and giving Bailey a quick hug. She squeezed you a little, watching you get into the car.

“Did you tell Adrian?” She called from the door, and you froze for a minute. You had not, in fact, told your boyfriend you were leaving for the weekend. To spend it in London with a friend that wasn’t a girl and his apparent enemy. You hadn’t even told him you were free for the weekend.

Well, too late now.

“Yeah, of course.” You lied, watching her relax a little. She waved from the door as the car pulled away, and you sat back in your seat as the driver kept his eyes on the road.

You really should have told Adrian.

“Mate, you didn’t need to get all dressed up for her. She’s got a boyfriend.” Harrison sniggered when Tom came out looking very dressed up. It was something he’d worn to Jimmy Kimmel once, and Harrison could see Tom’s face burn at his words.

“Shut up, it’s not that fancy. I know she’s got a boyfriend, he threatened me in the bathroom last week.” Tom grumbled, taking his phone from the table. Harrison quirked an eyebrow, but he didn’t push it. This was the first he was hearing about an actual confrontation from Tom, but he wouldn’t have put it past Adrian. He didn’t much like your boyfriend either.

“Can I ask you something?” Harrison ventured, testing the waters a little. Tom rolled his eyes, putting on his shoes by the door.

“Can I even stop you?” He groaned, standing up and crossing his arms. Harrison got his keys from the couch and moved closer, studying Tom’s face.

It was nervous, he knew what Harrison was going to ask.

“Are you in love with her?”

Tom’s eyes widened a little, but not enough to indicate he was surprised by the question. He had to have known it was coming. He looked down quickly, but Harrison caught the sight of his eyes watering a little. For a moment it was radio silence, and Harrison thought he wouldn’t answer. The tears spilled out of Tom’s eyes.

“What does it matter if I am?” Tom’s voice was quiet, like he was struggling to get it out. He knew that once he said those words, he was truly fucked. Harrison knew that too, which was why he wasn’t prepared for what Tom said next.

“I love her, Haz. And I don’t know how to stop.” Tom wiped his eyes, feeling his resolve crumble. All the days he spent telling himself to get over you, because he was the one who ruined everything. Tom had only half believed the lie, and now that the words had materialized in front of him it washed over him like a wave. The pain, the heartbreak, the intense pining and longing for someone he couldn’t have.

Because you weren’t his to want. You wanted nothing to do with him.

“I don’t think love works like that. You just have to let it go, Tom.” Harrison was startled when Tom hugged him, feeling him shudder a little. He’d known all along, that you had taken a part of him. It was so easy to see, the way you made him feel. Harrison remembered how excited Tom had been when you said yes to the date, the way he talked about you and how his eyes lit up.

Where had it all gone wrong?

“If I see her, I might lose my mind. I’ve been beating myself up over what happened, and it hurts even thinking about it. I thought if I stayed away, remembered what that prick told me, it would go away. Why does it hurt so much?” Tom cried, wetting Harrison’s shirt slightly. Harrison let him cry for a few minutes, knowing Tom would feel better after. He didn’t know what to say or do, he had yet to be in love. But this wasn’t like anything Harrison had seen before, Tom had never been this way.

What he felt was real, it was vulnerable and raw. And you meant more to him than he’d thought.

“Tom? I’m going to say something and I want you to listen.” Harrison said, and Tom broke away rubbing at his eyes.

“You need to tell her how you feel, before it’s too late. Tell her everything, or you’re gonna lose her forever.” Harrison put a hand on Tom’s shoulder, passing him to get to the door. Tom stood still, staring ahead at the wall.

“What if she still hates me? Or she’s in love with Adrian?” Tom’s voice cracked, not wanting to turn around and face his best friend. Because he knew what Harrison would say, and it frightened him.

“You have to make up your mind, Tom. Either you want her or you don’t. But you’re gonna have to fight for Y/N, she deserves a lot. And if you really love her, then you’ll sober up and join the battle. It’s your call.” Harrison sighed, opening the door and leaving Tom alone in the living room. Tom took a deep breath and closed his eyes, your face being the first thing he saw. It had been the only thing he’d seen for weeks at night.

Tom knew what he had to do. He was scared, but it was clear to him.

He had to win you back before it was too late.

TAGLIST (let me know if you want to be taken off!): @tommyparkerr @grandmascottlang @toms-order @darling-parker @spiderboythomas @cutiehollands @peeterparkr @jupiterparker @inlovewithmob-tom @veronicas-littleworld @da5haexowin @sergeantbxrnxs @hazsterfield @itsholyholland @underoosstark @stormyholland @let-me-luve-you @smexylemony @roses-and-sweaters @musicgirl234 @its-livelovelife @steve-thotgers @tiny-friggin-human @lovelyh0lland @blueberry-butterscotch @keylla-dunspeh @lucille-lovely @yeahbutmarvel @lokiislowkeyhot @spideymood @yoharryyouawizard @tomhollanders2013 @celestialparker @letthembehappymcu @jnej @spiderman-n @positiveparker @winterssoldierrs @heycreehere @galaxy-parker @sdrecsfics @doimakeitthroughthenight @wronglanemendes @brokensimpson @naikia @spnsoap @ninetypoundsofasthma @quitetommy @voltronshepard @marvelismylife @iluvemesomemarvelndc @annathesillyfriend @tiredfeels @scarlet-spiderr @hedwigthelegend @renesniajazza @bibliophile-grasshopp @tomhollandswhore @yeeterbenjaminparker @juliabuenooo @paradoxparker @pokeloisfk @machomango13 @nobledoritoman @cosmicdaya @hey-its-grey @toms-gf @cutesparker @whypeterparkerwhy @sunshinehollandd @sunshineandparker @starksparker @hollandroos @blissfulparker @xxtomxo @pastelpeter @nnatasha @parkerpuff @hollandsosterfield @hauntedhillsnholland @hopespym @peterstrainingwheels @stuckonspidey @jacobsbatalon @prkerspeter @spideypeach @spxderbarnes @stealth-spiderr @uglypastels @darlingtholland @spideyflicker @thollandss @marvelous-maddi @trustfundparker @clockblobber @asmilinghopelessromantic @i-dont-wanna-go-mr-stark @marvel-language @zaynjawy @sholla4-314 @lemondropirwin @angelbabymed @in-the-corner-coffee-please @peterbparkcr @william-stanley @greenarrowhead @squishyhyunjin @starz-23 @spoopy-spooderman @whatevsholland @aestheticstom @tomzfrog @bebegomie @tyemmamarvel @embrace-themagic @v-valz-n @peterparkersspookyguard @strangertingle @dancingoncrackedhearts @imspiderparker96 @mlt2000 @cordiebirdy @headsup-itsmostlypeter @sspideytom @yellow-inlove @kisses-holland @hardestbattles-strongestsoldiers @infamousmany @omgbstudies @theefactorygirl @aelinashryvver @sarah-moss2015 @honeybucks @fandomdarlings @yourwonderbelle @rexorangecouny @deni-gonzalez @mylifeasafangirlforever @random-writer06 @stretchkingblog97 @sweetlyth @notethereal @pachuh @fandoms-stuff @petesrparker @yavinmoon @sweet-baby-cakes @noswagswag @l-melancholy-breeze-l @peteunderoos @jubaydahk @jackiehollanderr @yadekms @starkslovebot @practicallylivesonline @i-tried21 @stasye @unorganizedasf @1-800-back-off @tomshufflepuff @beequeen8020 @mejustbeingme @fanboy-tom @mimaligrl @theimpossiblehologramtree @diamonddia-mond @qrangr @parkeroffline @peterpumpkinparker @rosieredcheeks @delicately-important-trash @zabdisamor @peterbrokenparker @the-lost-fairy-tale @everestluke @gigilame @youllbemineandillbeyours @cherryblossomcharlotte @paintingbellarke @teawithbucky @miraclesoflove @tomhaz @multi-worlds @clara-licht @ppkrtingle @laurxn-robinson @a-court-of-dreams-and-hopes @theirmidgardian @screamsbytom @lulueliott24 @lostinspidey @starlightparker @screamstillscreaming @ddaeing @ineedalittlehappiness @briiiiseyda @sincerelymlg @officiallygeek @maybemona​ @learning-howto-be-myselfx3​ @lowkey-holland​ @particularsof​ @saturn-aka-six​ @elysianparker​ @i-love-peter-paker-3000 @fangirlingisajob​ @hypnotized-so-mesmerized​ @parker-peter​ @deathofthethrones​ @th0ttie4tommy​ @orowit​ @lauras-collection​ @itseightbeats @thomasholyholland​ @h-oneyholland​ @softboyparkerr​ @definitely-not-black-cat​ @spdys​ @wazzupmrstark​ @angelsparkers​ @farfromhaz​ @pastelpeter​ @plushparker​ @princepeteys​ @afterglowparker​ @screamholland​ @autumnlyholland​

The Press Tour Taglist: @notes-from-my-journal @mcuspidey @musicandbokkslovingweirdo @kaylzjordan @puffedgill @loki-in-hogwarts @mutuallynotmutual @psycho-mocha @evolutionofkatep @ciannemar83 @eridanuswave @sltwins @grandfunnyemopainter @kidensdouble88 @bonitajuanita @kthemarsian @ollieologys @avngrsinitiative @hannah-olivia @dans2k19 @saysomethingspiderman @strang-ersclub @ad-iuficium @fairytaleparker @neverlandparker @shawnssongs @xoluvx @violet-lilyy @itsjstz @dickgraysonnsworld @a-phan-of-youtube @webshoot3r @ihopeyousteponarosepetal @martinafigoli @ketchuplukehemmo @storiesnroses @the-royal-brown-barbie @babebenhardy @teasemeimeasy @janieavalos @maybeonedayican @peruvian-bae @kathillyard @lost-in-translating @lawstudentbydayfangirlbynight @ballyhoobarnes @gabiatthedisco @one-big-fan-girl @rosebeegraham @shirukitsune @florencxs @mmyepic​ @baby-unidorn​ @imahoefortomholland​ @spidxrparkxr​ @brown-eyed-brunettes​ @secretlittlewonders​ @peterporkpie​ @notevenlxvely​ @i-love-peter-b-parker-3000 

[wtnvwritings]

Meeting Your Mate

AO3 Version

Relationship: Kevin/Reader

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 2.4k

Note: This is part of my Escape Strex AU, and this was also a commission for @matronofthevoid!

Summary: All seems normal in Night Vale, until a sudden sandstorm overtakes the town. While Cecil is out trying to get first-hand information and updates, Kevin is left to man the studio, reporting on all the mysterious portals popping up and so-called 'doubles' walking out of them.

But then he meets someone familiar--someone he had been told was dead:

You.

---

Lights twinkling above our high above our heads in the dark night sky. Are they stars, or are they government-funded observation planes making sure that you’ve not forgotten to brush your teeth that night?

Either way, please make sure you report to city hall tomorrow morning for reconditioning after hearing this,

Welcome to Night Vale.

[Intro Music Plays]

Good morning Night Vale, it’s Cecil! Or, well, it would be Cecil, if he wasn’t currently out of the studio, and it would be a good morning if we weren’t already under the terrible threat of a sandstorm coming in from the west.

If you can't already tell from the sound of my voice, it’s Kevin, your local radio co-host, bringing you all of the latest news and updates to this happy little town of ours.

...Oh, by the way, there’s a sandstorm coming in!

City Counsel has declared an emergency, in fact, so please make sure that all of you seek shelter from the wind and the sand--preferably somewhere with four walls and a roof. Though I know that some of you are very fond of your dugout holes, Night Vale, it simply won’t do to keep you safe!

I’ve been told that the sandstorm will be arriving on the edge of Night Vale in just a couple minutes! I would think that the City Counsel is apologetic about the short-notice warning, but I can’t dare assume anything from them--we all know what happened to the last person who assumed they wanted a medium fry from the local burger joint, after all--but never fear! Cecil himself is working diligently to get a quote, though I hope that he isn’t caught out in this storm as well.

More to report on the sandstorm whenever it gets here--I mean, we can’t rush nature, amiright?

Some wonderful news for all you sports fans out there: baseball season has finally arrived in Night Vale! This Saturday is the minor league opening game for the Night Vale Spider Wolves. They’ll be taking on bitter rivals, the Desert Bluffs Sunbeams.

I’m supposed to say that it will be an exciting, evenly-matched game, but we all know that our very own Spider Wolves won’t have any issues taking on the Sunbeams, especially after we broke the news of their funding getting cut last year.

But who cares? The Sunbeams are just not exciting , or, as Cecil likes to say in a not-as-kind way, ‘ terrible ’. But you didn’t hear that from me Night Vale, because I’m simply reporting on the facts!

And now for traffic.

It seems that the sandstorm has finally reached the highway, Night Vale, and it’s causing all sorts of issues for drivers on the roadway. I’m getting reports of wind speeds as high as--well, on the paper it says ‘unfathomable speeds unlike any ever recorded’ but I’m certain one of the meteorologists just assumed we couldn’t handle the raw numbers. Either way, travelers are advised to stay off the road and seek shelter wherever it can be found.

...There seems to be something far more troubling to the sandstorm, listeners. I am receiving this information right now from Intern Dana--she is handing me the folder, and I am opening it….reading the summary…..taking it all in and….oh, Dana? I believe you had a typo right there, yes, ‘lack of time or space’ should be ‘lack of time AND space’ considering the foreboding context clues by Lerry Leroy.

[Sounds of shuffling papers]

It would seem that portals are opening up across town, dear listeners. From out of these portals walks out people who seem like people we know, but are most assuredly not the people we know. They may look similar, but I am getting reports that these people, dare I say doubles , have brought multiple people to violence.

Please do not fight your double!

We can’t be sure what sorts of consequences there are for fighting--and possibly killing!--your double is, but I am certain it can be nothing good. After all, we remember what happened last month when time and existence came to a stop? Surely you remember that?

Let’s not repeat that unfortunate, uncountable number of repeated evenings, shall we Night Vale?

Now, onto financial news.

You are lost in a sea of sand. You look to the west and see the sun setting in the distance, it’s light slowly hiding behind the endless dunes. There is nowhere to go. Nobody else around you. You are lost.

You stare into the setting sun for what feels like hours, and soon it seems that the sun isn’t really setting at all--has it ever moved? Has anything ever truly moved? Have you moved? Are you moving right now?

Are you even breathing right now?

That has been financial news.

[More sounds of shuffling papers]

Listeners, that sandstorm is starting to get a little...frightening. I know that’s a strong word, like ‘government surveillance’ and ‘wheat’, but I simply cannot find any other word to properly describe what is going on just outside the radio station.

Across Night Vale, it seems dozens upon dozens of people--doubles--have made their way through those mysterious portals. Though some have done best to make peace with their doubles, others have either not heard or ignored my warning and have taken to battle with them.

Please, Night Vale, do not fight your doubles!

Cecil, our normal radio host, has just sent me a direct announcement from our own Mayor Pamela Winchell.

“Please return to your homes immediately!” Mayor Winchell said, her eyes as if wild with an emotion we can not truly comprehend. “I am declaring a state of emergency; if anyone is outside, return to your homes or else risk dematerialization, non-existence and some rather serious sand-burns.”

A second announcement, shortly after, says that she was lying and that “you shouldn’t listen to her. She’s not the real mayor! I am!”

Cecil wrote that, at such point, he was joined by a second Mayor Winchell, who quickly became violent with the first.

A third announcement followed between Mayor Pamela Winchell and the other Mayor Pamela Winchell, requesting that we “give me the microphone and get away from the podium! This is my announcement, you replicant clown!”

Unfortunately, our radio host could not provide much more information, as he was dragged into the fight between the two Mayor Winchells. It is good to know at least that he is safe--I hope that all of you are safe right now, Night Vale, I--

…

[Extended silence]

…

Listeners?

…

I...I see a portal. Night Vale, I see a portal right now, here in this very studio. It is...small, or at least smaller than what I expected it to be--but it is exactly like you expected to be. It’s...swirling, ominously across the room, on the wall opposite of where I am set up so that you all can hear my voice.

It’s...just there. I am not sure if I should be afraid or not, but...for some reason the portal feels...calming?

It’s just sitting there, listeners. Should I approach it? I mean, as any good journalist of Night Vale, being prepared for the unknown is a skill we all learn early in our lives--though the fear of the unknown often quickly comes after that when we all reach the age of seven so I suppose it doesn’t matter in the end.

I am...watching it shimmer. The portal is growing, taking up the entirety of the wall just across from me. I can make out the faintest image within the portal, listeners, and…

…

…

...It looks like...Night Vale? No, no it doesn’t, it looks….It looks nothing like Night Vale. There is a town through the portal, and it looks bright--so bright. Too bright .

Oh.

Oh.

I-

…

[Small sounds of shuffling]

It looks like ...like…

Like Desert Bluffs.

I cannot begin to fathom this, Night Vale, but the portals we are seeing--the people coming through them, the ones we believe are our doubles…

Are they all from Desert Bluffs?

You may all know my…. history with that town, my...change of loyalty, to this wondrous little hamlet of ours. If there is anyone here who can identify Desert Bluffs, it would surely be me--and what I see right now, through the portal, is more assuredly that very town.

That town .

I dare to think that perhaps these people coming through the portals, the ones we assume are our doubles, I think instead they might be-

[Near-silent gasp of breath]

...My...my mate…?

Listeners, I apologize for being so confusing. You must understand that these portals--these... things are causing not just your normal tears into time and space--we deal with those every second Wednesday of the month, after all. What I mean is, I…

I’m looking right at the person I had long thought, until this very moment, was dead.

But...you aren’t dead, are you?

I’m talking to my mate of course, listeners--you see, when I escap-... left Desert Bluffs, I had been...waiting for someone. Someone very important to me. For those of you who know who and what I am, you will surely understand the magnitude of the situation I was faced with.

For people like me and Cecil, finding our mate is...the most important thing in our world. Cecil found Carlos and I...I had waited for many years. Many, many years indeed.

[Shuffling noises, the sound of a chair being pushed back]

And...here you are?

How...is that even possible? I thought you were dead--you...you were dead! I was told so. I was…told I’d never see you, never find you...you weren’t…

...Oh?

...Oh.

I see.

You were...waiting for me. In Desert Bluffs. But where? Where were you?

Hiding? No?

Hidden?

Hidden away? But why would you try to hide yourself from m-

Oh.

[Extended silence]

...I see now.

They were hiding you from me.

How long have you been there, at Desert Bluffs?

[Muffled sound of an answer]

I...I can’t imagine waiting that long, except that I can, I have also waited so long--too long--and now you’re...you're right here!

You’re here!

You are standing here in front of me--my mate, listeners--and you are...absolutely beautiful.

No, no it’s alright, don’t mind the scars, love, I have them too--we both have them. Don’t be ashamed--you’re beautiful in all the ways you are right now. I am just...overwhelmed. I was told that I would never meet you, that you were…

...that you were dead.

But they were hiding you from me.

They were...hiding you...from me...

Hi̶̲̚d̸̗̓i̸̼͆n̵͎̈g̴̖͂ ̶͍͆y̶͓͗o̶̯͊ǔ̵̩.̵̻.̵̦̉.̶̙̀.f̷̼͙͖͖̿̇̓̒̅̃͗͆̕r̷͔͔̻͔̀̓̽̔̃̈͆̏̕ȍ̸̰̗̤͉̗͇͜m̴͕͉̦͊̋̆̏̐̉͊̚ ̵̟͖̠̗͐͂̑͋̏̇̎m̷̢͚͐͗̈͒̐͘̚̕ẻ̴̘͕̿̂̐̍̒͐̅͘͘…

I̶̜̋'̶̣͗l̴̟̅l̵̟̑ ̸̫̏h̶̞̋a̷̟̚v̴̰͒e̵̥̿ ̸̺͒t̶̘̾o̸̍ͅ.̸̧̾.̴̜͊.̴̡̃p̶͉̈a̸̭̐ẙ̴̯ ̶̤͒t̸̖̍ḩ̷̉e̶̱̋m̴͕̈́ ̶̰̊á̴͓ ̸̽ͅḻ̷͐i̶̞͘t̸̻̑t̸̖̀l̴̩͠e̴̳̽ ̵̱̂v̸̢̓i̷̮͛s̴͖͘i̶̜͗t̴̫͠.̷̺͝.̷̖̊.̴̥̍ṛ̴͝i̶̡̊ģ̶̏h̶̙͒t̴͙́?̶̫̄

[Sound from the radio shorts out, then turns to white noise for several seconds]

...

[Extended silence]

...

[Sound of the microphone being picked up]

...

Listeners? Are you still there? Night Vale?

If you are still there, this is Cecil, your regular radio host--I’ve returned from my journey to get the front-line news of the sandstorm, since our Intern Dana has been quite busy trying to keep our social media updated with all the relevant outages and traffic warnings. How long has the radio been silent?

Where is...Kevin?

Where is anyone, in fact?

I am standing here in the middle of the recording room, but across from me is a portal and a-

Oh. Hello there! I am sorry, I didn’t see you--uh, I don’t think I recognize you at all. Do I uh, know you?

What?

...Listeners, the person standing in the room with me says that they are…

...Kevin’s mate?

Well, that’s not something I expected to hear. I mean, there’s a lot of things I never expect to hear--none of us are. The news of a baby, the death of a loved one, the securing of a new job, the need to move to a new state….

I mean, we really--Oh!

Listeners, I’m seeing someone coming through the portal now--I can make out the vague shape of their body...they’re stepping closer, the dark silhouette shimmering against what I can only assume is the surface of the portal itself…

Kevin? What in the world are you doing going through the portal? Where...were you? I said in my press report that it wasn’t a smart idea to-

…

...why...are you...covered in blood?

[Sound of a muffled answer]

Ah. I uh, suppose that explains the lovely person standing over here, does it? From Desert Bluffs? I suppose that you...ah, well, I’ll spare our listeners on the silly little details of your encounter-er-visit over there, I’m sure they don’t want to hear all of that anyway.

In fact, I think they would rather hear the update that the sandstorm is finally passing! That’s right Night Vale, we have survived yet another horrific, unfathomable beast of nature, and have come out 100% alright--well, minus the millions of dollars worth in property damage, including several fields worth of corn grown by John Peters, you know, the farmer?

Despite the major damages though, there seem to be no deaths and not a single accountable injury--not even any dematerialization either! I am proud to say that Night Vale, we again have kept ourselves safe from harm and have weathered through yet another disaster--and I hope, nay, I pray that you had considered carefully my words of warning.

I hope you did not hurt or kill your double.

But other than that, it seems that we have reached the end of our segment, so I will turn it back to Kevin to-

Oh?

What’s that?

...Well, what wonderful news, Night Vale! It would seem that we not only didn’t lose a single person to the sandstorm, but in fact gained a new member of our little town! Let me be the first to say how happy I am for you, Kevin, what luck you have to finally meet your beloved mate--you can take them back to the apartment to get them settled, if you like.

We’ll get them taken care of just like we did for you.

[Muffled sounds of conversation, as if a hand is over the microphone]

So uh, that is the end of this segment, Night Vale! Tune in next for the sound of deep contemplation, and the bittersweet love of two people who had long thought they would never meet, but are finally able to be with one another.

Goodnight, Night Vale,

Goodnight.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday and reaching the zero point field and being more zen

TGIWednesday News

If we can come to that place of neutrality after clearing yes, unclear no, and running forward, more often than not, miracles can occur. I no longer meditate as in at all, but feel as if I am in the in-between more often than not.  The more you can come to that still small quiet spot within, no matter what your method, the more likely you are to reach that point where everything can change.  Know that we are here to guide you and help/contribute to you and all of your new endeavors in any way that we can.  And I pray that you welcome this new year with new beginnings, the peace that surpasses all understanding and do so with enthusiasm for sure!

TGIWednesday Download

~ REACHING ZERO POINT FIELD ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can reach that centered place and zero point field that dwells within us all. I am ready, willing and able to be a channel for all that is good, light, kind and progressive. I know, when, where, how and why spirit can show me my custom and special way to hear that voice within me. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE MySwitchWorks Event

Starting fresh new job? Have a new business idea? Moved to a new location? Beginning or searching for a new relationship or ending a relationship? Starting a new diet or exercise routine to improve your health? Entering into a new financial endeavor? What are you struggling with? Is something blocking you? What happened last time that you want to clear the past energy of? What switches do you want to strengthen and turn on/off related to new beginnings? Live Zoom Event Next Wednesday Theme:  Clearing the Way for New Beginnings  January 27th from 7:30pm-8pm Eastern  Registration for live event, includes replay. >>> https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/jan2021-switches-event

These monthly LIVE events are by invitation only exclusively to our TGIW subscribers held on the last Wednesday of each month. These calls are unique in that you have the benefit of tapping into a multitude of issues that many participants have submitted for the group.  We compile that list of dozens of write-ins and one by one, we will clear it all together that evening.  And know too that during the LIVE call, I bring in additional pieces from Spirit in the moment of reading each item that really expand on things and cover the clearings in a much deeper way.   The value in this is tremendous! Instead of paying $68 for a half hour one on one with me where we might clear a dozen or so items, you can join our group each month for just $22 where together in 30 minutes you will watch in silence and amazement as you hear and feel the shifts of near 100 items - most of which you haven’t even thought of until you hear them LIVE!! 

*NOTE Those who are buyers of Darius' special offer Package B should have already received a free registration confirmation email with details for how to join the event (see also your offer download page w/replays).

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy, Just a quick update for you - I last wrote you about 8 months ago and you told me to stick with money and investing as I was considering different options to pursue - just wanted to let you know it's going pretty darn well!  I've been investing in the crypto market in my free time, learning as much as I possibly can, and it has paid off.  Over the months I've created a nice portfolio that has grown quickly into 6 figures, and I've doubled or tripled most of my investments.  Granted it's a perfect scenario right now for a beginning investor, but the timing is just "perfect", and I know who to give credit to!  I am so grateful for my session with you, your recordings, and MLF.  I love your end of the month live group session, I sign up for most of them.  If you're looking for inspiration for a theme one month, I'd love to see you do one on discipline, focus, perseverance.  So many of us start projects, but how many finish, or accomplish what we set out for . . . I find I often get distracted, I could totally use a good dose of focus!  I will fish it out in the meantime!  Keep up the good work, and thank you!"  - Lexie

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday February 19th.

OFFICE LOCATION 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack JANUARY 20th "Today, I will endeavor to contribute. I will move forward in my life and assist all I can with others in their lives. I won't hold the lantern while someone else chops the wood. I will assist all that I can to move projects, relationships and my life, forward."

Live Radio Show Appearances

2021 UPDATE THE JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW GOING FORWARD I put in 5 years hosting weekly shows on Blog Talk and nearly another 5 years into my current show and Spirit came to me during a 3AM ending of My Daily Prayer services and whispered...“Enough.” So while we will not return to our weekly show in 2021, we will of course be guest or co-hosting on a variety of other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as variety show line ups where I am a guest on other shows will be posted! 

Watch hundreds of replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Bountiful Harvest Creatives Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Financial Windfall The Gold Coin Healing Body Disorders Healing Mental Stress

Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday and reaching the zero point field and being more zen

TGIWednesday News

If we can come to that place of neutrality after clearing yes, unclear no, and running forward, more often than not, miracles can occur. I no longer meditate as in at all, but feel as if I am in the in-between more often than not.  The more you can come to that still small quiet spot within, no matter what your method, the more likely you are to reach that point where everything can change.  Know that we are here to guide you and help/contribute to you and all of your new endeavors in any way that we can.  And I pray that you welcome this new year with new beginnings, the peace that surpasses all understanding and do so with enthusiasm for sure!

TGIWednesday Download

~ REACHING ZERO POINT FIELD ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can reach that centered place and zero point field that dwells within us all. I am ready, willing and able to be a channel for all that is good, light, kind and progressive. I know, when, where, how and why spirit can show me my custom and special way to hear that voice within me. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE MySwitchWorks Event

Starting fresh new job? Have a new business idea? Moved to a new location? Beginning or searching for a new relationship or ending a relationship? Starting a new diet or exercise routine to improve your health? Entering into a new financial endeavor? What are you struggling with? Is something blocking you? What happened last time that you want to clear the past energy of? What switches do you want to strengthen and turn on/off related to new beginnings? Live Zoom Event Next Wednesday Theme:  Clearing the Way for New Beginnings  January 27th from 7:30pm-8pm Eastern  Registration for live event, includes replay. >>> https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/jan2021-switches-event

These monthly LIVE events are by invitation only exclusively to our TGIW subscribers held on the last Wednesday of each month. These calls are unique in that you have the benefit of tapping into a multitude of issues that many participants have submitted for the group.  We compile that list of dozens of write-ins and one by one, we will clear it all together that evening.  And know too that during the LIVE call, I bring in additional pieces from Spirit in the moment of reading each item that really expand on things and cover the clearings in a much deeper way.   The value in this is tremendous! Instead of paying $68 for a half hour one on one with me where we might clear a dozen or so items, you can join our group each month for just $22 where together in 30 minutes you will watch in silence and amazement as you hear and feel the shifts of near 100 items - most of which you haven’t even thought of until you hear them LIVE!! 

*NOTE Those who are buyers of Darius' special offer Package B should have already received a free registration confirmation email with details for how to join the event (see also your offer download page w/replays).

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy, Just a quick update for you - I last wrote you about 8 months ago and you told me to stick with money and investing as I was considering different options to pursue - just wanted to let you know it's going pretty darn well!  I've been investing in the crypto market in my free time, learning as much as I possibly can, and it has paid off.  Over the months I've created a nice portfolio that has grown quickly into 6 figures, and I've doubled or tripled most of my investments.  Granted it's a perfect scenario right now for a beginning investor, but the timing is just "perfect", and I know who to give credit to!  I am so grateful for my session with you, your recordings, and MLF.  I love your end of the month live group session, I sign up for most of them.  If you're looking for inspiration for a theme one month, I'd love to see you do one on discipline, focus, perseverance.  So many of us start projects, but how many finish, or accomplish what we set out for . . . I find I often get distracted, I could totally use a good dose of focus!  I will fish it out in the meantime!  Keep up the good work, and thank you!"  - Lexie

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday February 19th.

OFFICE LOCATION 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack JANUARY 20th "Today, I will endeavor to contribute. I will move forward in my life and assist all I can with others in their lives. I won't hold the lantern while someone else chops the wood. I will assist all that I can to move projects, relationships and my life, forward."

Live Radio Show Appearances

2021 UPDATE THE JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW GOING FORWARD I put in 5 years hosting weekly shows on Blog Talk and nearly another 5 years into my current show and Spirit came to me during a 3AM ending of My Daily Prayer services and whispered...“Enough.” So while we will not return to our weekly show in 2021, we will of course be guest or co-hosting on a variety of other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as variety show line ups where I am a guest on other shows will be posted! 

Watch hundreds of replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Bountiful Harvest Creatives Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Financial Windfall The Gold Coin Healing Body Disorders Healing Mental Stress

Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday and reaching the zero point field and being more zen

TGIWednesday News

If we can come to that place of neutrality after clearing yes, unclear no, and running forward, more often than not, miracles can occur. I no longer meditate as in at all, but feel as if I am in the in-between more often than not.  The more you can come to that still small quiet spot within, no matter what your method, the more likely you are to reach that point where everything can change.  Know that we are here to guide you and help/contribute to you and all of your new endeavors in any way that we can.  And I pray that you welcome this new year with new beginnings, the peace that surpasses all understanding and do so with enthusiasm for sure!

TGIWednesday Download

~ REACHING ZERO POINT FIELD ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can reach that centered place and zero point field that dwells within us all. I am ready, willing and able to be a channel for all that is good, light, kind and progressive. I know, when, where, how and why spirit can show me my custom and special way to hear that voice within me. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE MySwitchWorks Event

Starting fresh new job? Have a new business idea? Moved to a new location? Beginning or searching for a new relationship or ending a relationship? Starting a new diet or exercise routine to improve your health? Entering into a new financial endeavor? What are you struggling with? Is something blocking you? What happened last time that you want to clear the past energy of? What switches do you want to strengthen and turn on/off related to new beginnings? Live Zoom Event Next Wednesday Theme:  Clearing the Way for New Beginnings  January 27th from 7:30pm-8pm Eastern  Registration for live event, includes replay. >>> https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/jan2021-switches-event

These monthly LIVE events are by invitation only exclusively to our TGIW subscribers held on the last Wednesday of each month. These calls are unique in that you have the benefit of tapping into a multitude of issues that many participants have submitted for the group.  We compile that list of dozens of write-ins and one by one, we will clear it all together that evening.  And know too that during the LIVE call, I bring in additional pieces from Spirit in the moment of reading each item that really expand on things and cover the clearings in a much deeper way.   The value in this is tremendous! Instead of paying $68 for a half hour one on one with me where we might clear a dozen or so items, you can join our group each month for just $22 where together in 30 minutes you will watch in silence and amazement as you hear and feel the shifts of near 100 items - most of which you haven’t even thought of until you hear them LIVE!! 

*NOTE Those who are buyers of Darius' special offer Package B should have already received a free registration confirmation email with details for how to join the event (see also your offer download page w/replays).

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy, Just a quick update for you - I last wrote you about 8 months ago and you told me to stick with money and investing as I was considering different options to pursue - just wanted to let you know it's going pretty darn well!  I've been investing in the crypto market in my free time, learning as much as I possibly can, and it has paid off.  Over the months I've created a nice portfolio that has grown quickly into 6 figures, and I've doubled or tripled most of my investments.  Granted it's a perfect scenario right now for a beginning investor, but the timing is just "perfect", and I know who to give credit to!  I am so grateful for my session with you, your recordings, and MLF.  I love your end of the month live group session, I sign up for most of them.  If you're looking for inspiration for a theme one month, I'd love to see you do one on discipline, focus, perseverance.  So many of us start projects, but how many finish, or accomplish what we set out for . . . I find I often get distracted, I could totally use a good dose of focus!  I will fish it out in the meantime!  Keep up the good work, and thank you!"  - Lexie

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday February 19th.

OFFICE LOCATION 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack JANUARY 20th "Today, I will endeavor to contribute. I will move forward in my life and assist all I can with others in their lives. I won't hold the lantern while someone else chops the wood. I will assist all that I can to move projects, relationships and my life, forward."

Live Radio Show Appearances

2021 UPDATE THE JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW GOING FORWARD I put in 5 years hosting weekly shows on Blog Talk and nearly another 5 years into my current show and Spirit came to me during a 3AM ending of My Daily Prayer services and whispered...“Enough.” So while we will not return to our weekly show in 2021, we will of course be guest or co-hosting on a variety of other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as variety show line ups where I am a guest on other shows will be posted! 

Watch hundreds of replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

​For those who aren't familiar,​ below is ​a​ list of the​ 30+​ audio​s in the MyBeliefWorks series.... Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe Bountiful Harvest Creatives Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives Financial Windfall The Gold Coin Healing Body Disorders Healing Mental Stress

Holiday Stress Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Youth & Vitality  

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

TGIFunny

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish™ Starter Kit (*Updated December 2020) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish™Change Made Simple™ Watch Free Videos on YouTube Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2021 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday and reaching the zero point field and being more zen

TGIWednesday News

If we can come to that place of neutrality after clearing yes, unclear no, and running forward, more often than not, miracles can occur. I no longer meditate as in at all, but feel as if I am in the in-between more often than not.  The more you can come to that still small quiet spot within, no matter what your method, the more likely you are to reach that point where everything can change.  Know that we are here to guide you and help/contribute to you and all of your new endeavors in any way that we can.  And I pray that you welcome this new year with new beginnings, the peace that surpasses all understanding and do so with enthusiasm for sure!

TGIWednesday Download

~ REACHING ZERO POINT FIELD ~ I believe, think, know and feel that I can reach that centered place and zero point field that dwells within us all. I am ready, willing and able to be a channel for all that is good, light, kind and progressive. I know, when, where, how and why spirit can show me my custom and special way to hear that voice within me. I am asking in all languages, and throughout all time lines and so it is.

LIVE MySwitchWorks Event

Starting fresh new job? Have a new business idea? Moved to a new location? Beginning or searching for a new relationship or ending a relationship? Starting a new diet or exercise routine to improve your health? Entering into a new financial endeavor? What are you struggling with? Is something blocking you? What happened last time that you want to clear the past energy of? What switches do you want to strengthen and turn on/off related to new beginnings? Live Zoom Event Next Wednesday Theme:  Clearing the Way for New Beginnings  January 27th from 7:30pm-8pm Eastern  Registration for live event, includes replay. >>> https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/jan2021-switches-event

These monthly LIVE events are by invitation only exclusively to our TGIW subscribers held on the last Wednesday of each month. These calls are unique in that you have the benefit of tapping into a multitude of issues that many participants have submitted for the group.  We compile that list of dozens of write-ins and one by one, we will clear it all together that evening.  And know too that during the LIVE call, I bring in additional pieces from Spirit in the moment of reading each item that really expand on things and cover the clearings in a much deeper way.   The value in this is tremendous! Instead of paying $68 for a half hour one on one with me where we might clear a dozen or so items, you can join our group each month for just $22 where together in 30 minutes you will watch in silence and amazement as you hear and feel the shifts of near 100 items - most of which you haven’t even thought of until you hear them LIVE!! 

*NOTE Those who are buyers of Darius' special offer Package B should have already received a free registration confirmation email with details for how to join the event (see also your offer download page w/replays).

Register Here - $22

From the Fish Box

"Hi Jimmy, Just a quick update for you - I last wrote you about 8 months ago and you told me to stick with money and investing as I was considering different options to pursue - just wanted to let you know it's going pretty darn well!  I've been investing in the crypto market in my free time, learning as much as I possibly can, and it has paid off.  Over the months I've created a nice portfolio that has grown quickly into 6 figures, and I've doubled or tripled most of my investments.  Granted it's a perfect scenario right now for a beginning investor, but the timing is just "perfect", and I know who to give credit to!  I am so grateful for my session with you, your recordings, and MLF.  I love your end of the month live group session, I sign up for most of them.  If you're looking for inspiration for a theme one month, I'd love to see you do one on discipline, focus, perseverance.  So many of us start projects, but how many finish, or accomplish what we set out for . . . I find I often get distracted, I could totally use a good dose of focus!  I will fish it out in the meantime!  Keep up the good work, and thank you!"  - Lexie

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday February 19th.

OFFICE LOCATION 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack JANUARY 20th "Today, I will endeavor to contribute. I will move forward in my life and assist all I can with others in their lives. I won't hold the lantern while someone else chops the wood. I will assist all that I can to move projects, relationships and my life, forward."

Live Radio Show Appearances

2021 UPDATE THE JIMMY MACK HEALING SHOW GOING FORWARD I put in 5 years hosting weekly shows on Blog Talk and nearly another 5 years into my current show and Spirit came to me during a 3AM ending of My Daily Prayer services and whispered...“Enough.” So while we will not return to our weekly show in 2021, we will of course be guest or co-hosting on a variety of other shows on occasion.  So stay tuned to this section of TGIW as variety show line ups where I am a guest on other shows will be posted! 

Watch hundreds of replays for FREE here in the archives: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

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[thisdaynews]

Murray makes singles comeback in Cincinnati

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/murray-makes-singles-comeback-in-cincinnati/

Murray makes singles comeback in Cincinnati

Got a TV Licence?

You need one to watch live TV on any channel or device, and BBC programmes on iPlayer. It’s the law.

Find out more

Live Reporting

By Jonathan Jurejko

All times stated are UK

@andy_murrayon court in Cincinnati for his 1st singles match since surgery. Haven’t been this excited since he won Wimbledon in 2013!

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 18:5418:54

This is a day which pretty much of all of us, including Andy Murray, thought they wouldn’t see seven months ago.

So I want to know two things from you:

1. Your feelings about seeing the former world number one/three-time Grand Slam winner/Britain’s greatest player/knight of the realm return.

2: Where you see his career going from here.

Get involved using#bbctennis.

Posted at 18:5318:53

Post update

Murray v Gasquet

Mohamed Lahyani, one of tennis’ most recognisable umpires, is the man in the middle today, reminding Murray of a few rules before tossing the coin.

Gasquet wins the toss, opting to receive first.

The Frenchman is currently ranked 56th in the world (although has a protected ranking of 26th) having missed the first four months of the year after groin surgery last year.

But he has been looking sharp in recent weeks, earning an impressive win over world number six Kei Nishikori in Montreal last week.

Posted at 18:5218:52

Post update

Miles Maclagan

Andy Murray’s former coach on BBC Radio 5 Live

It is exciting. I have known not to write Andy off with anything and that goes with the other greats as well. They think differently.

We have seen in the last few months that he has done everything he can to get back in the game.

Posted at 18:5118:51

The sweat

Murray makes singles comeback

Murray says the surgery was “life-changing”.

After being unable to play with his children at the soft play centre, or putting on his socks, without feeling pain, suddenly it had disappeared.

That rekindled his love of tennis as he prepared to make his comeback in the doubles at Queen’s – which ended in a fairytale win alongside Spain’s Feliciano Lopez.

Four doubles tournaments later, hours spent weightlifting in the gym to build up his strength around the hip, plus numerous practice sets in the singles on the American hard courts… and Murray feels the time is right to go solo again…

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 18:5018:50

The blood

Murray makes singles comeback

Following that emotional announcement, Murray told BBC Sport that a second hip surgery was an option.

But he said the operation to resurface his hip was not with the “view to playing at the highest level again”.

“The number one reason to have something so serious is improve your quality of life and being in less pain,” he added.

No player has had that operation and come back to play tennis singles.

Murray went under the knife with renowned hip surgeon Sarah Muirhead-Allwood, who has operated on the Queen Mother, later in January…

InstagramCopyright: Instagram

Posted at 18:4918:49

The tears

Murray makes singles comeback

From the moment Andy Murray walked into the news conference at Melbourne Park, you felt a sense that something wasn’t quite right.

Asked a simple opening question of how he was feeling, an emotional Murray struggled to get an answer of “not great” out before covering his face with his cap and sobbing underneath.

Murray has often showed his emotion on court but this was different. This was raw emotion in a place where players – and indeed sport stars generally – don’t like to show their true feelings in front of the world’s media.

A sombre silence filled the room after Murray temporarily left – before he returned, a little more composed, and managed to tell us more.

The Scot said he planned to retire after this year’s Wimbledon but feared the upcoming Australian Open could be the final tournament of his career….

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 18:4818:48

Post update

Murray v Gasquet

Andy Murray, under the watchful eye of coach Jamie Delgado, fitness coach Matt Little and physio Shane Annun, is doing a few sprint drills in the corridors at Cincinnati.

The Scot gives a warm hug to Annun, grins broadly and then walks out to pop star-style cheers – with his mobile phone in hand.

Keep your eye out later on his Instagram account…

Posted at 18:4618:46

Post update

Murray v Gasquet

Hello! And welcome to live text coverage of a day we feared we’d never see: Andy Murray playing singles again.

So how have we gone from that day in Melbourne, which appeared to signal the beginning of the end of his playing career, to the 32-year-old Briton back on a singles court?

Literally, it has taken blood, sweat and tears. Or rather tears, blood and sweat…

Posted at 18:4318:43

Now…

…the Scot is back and ready to play singles again.

Western &SouthernOpen, Cincinnati, 12 August:

“At some stage have to make that jump and say ‘right I’m ready’. I’ve built up properly, I’ve not gone from playing a few doubles match to playing singles.

“I’ve had no setbacks, no pain, things have been getting better every week. I feel like this the right time to try to play singles again.”

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Posted at 18:4018:40

Then…

…the end looked nigh for Andy Murray.

Australian Open, Melbourne, 11 January:

“I’d like to play until Wimbledon – that’s where I’d like to stop playing – but I’m not certain I’m able to do that.

“I’m playing with no idea of when the pain will stop.”

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Read More

[bronzeflower]

Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 5: Dave Is Just A Huge Flustered Mess

You were just finished updating your SBaHJ comics when you saw that your sister was pestering you.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

TT: Hello, Dave.

TG: whats up rose

TT: I would like to invite you to go with me on an outing to a certain clothing store.

TG: for the last time i dont want to get a suit and theres nothing you can do to make me go TG: what do i even need a suit for TG: i never go anywhere fancy enough to warrant wearing a suit TG: theyre also uncomfortable as hell TG: all itchy and scratchy and constricting and shit

TT: You only think that because you’ve only worn cheap suits. TT: And besides, I can easily convince you to come with me.

TG: bullshit TG: there is absolutely nothing you could say or do that could possibly make me go with you TG: ill chain myself to the inside of my room TG: you cant possibly break the lock even if you had ten thousand locksmiths TG: theyre all going to be like TG: miss lalonde why are you trying so fucking hard to get this guy out of his room TG: why cant you just leave him alone TG: and youll go on this spiel about how i need a suit TG: theyll be ten thousand miles away in a goddamn flash TG: knowing that suits are awful as fuck TG: so no rose TG: there couldnt possibly be even a single thing that could make me move an inch to go with you to a store to get a suit

TT: It’s a very nice store. TT: There is a plethora of clothing items to chose from there. TT: There also happens to be a cute boy who works there.

TG: … TG: … TG: … TG: how cute TG: like are we talking astronomical levels of cute TG: like one wrong move could set my heart aflame TG: or is he passing a random stranger and giving them a spare glance cute

TT: He has messy hair, small horns, and he looks like he could be able to give you the best hugs imaginable.

TG: my bloodpusher is already in hyperdrive TG: where do i sign up TG: i mean TG: nope still not going TG: i refuse TG: no matter how cute that guy sounds TG: i absolutely refuse

TT: You’ll come with me eventually. TT: No matter how much I have to wear you down.

TG: wow way to sound super creepy TG: why are you even so insistent on me going to this store anyway TG: youve never been this insistant before TG: even pulled out the cute guy thing on me TG: i bet you just made up that guy to try and get me to come

TT: I assure you that he is, in fact, as real as you and me. TT: And why I am so insistent on you going is of none of your concern.

TG: is there a cute girl who works there and youre just using me as an excuse to see her again

TT: ...

TG: holy shit TG: you really do have a crush on her TG: whats her name TG: come on rose TG: you cant avoid the question forever TG: tell me tell me tell me tell me TG: at least tell me what she looks like good god TG: okay you got me TG: if you tell me her name and what she looks like i swear that i will go with you to the store TG: ill even let you get me a suit

TT: What do you swear on?

TG: i swear on the monkey paw in my dead things collection

TT: A dangerous item to swear on. TT: I’ll accept it. TT: The contract is sealed. My blood has been used to finalize it.

TG: goddamn it rose just tell me who your crush is

TT: As if you don’t ramble on for an even lengthier amount of time than I did. TT: But I suppose I will hold my side of our deal. TT: Her name is Kanaya, and she owns the store I was speaking about. TT: She, by far, has one of the best fashion senses I have ever seen. TT: She’s intelligent and can analyze with the best of them. TT: She’s extraordinarily well-read, and the theories she has are like nothing I’ve ever heard. TT: Her horns are like daggers, her hair like silk. I could only dream of her lifting me off into the sunset. TT: Oh. TT: I seem to have gotten a little bit carried away there.

TG: holy shit rose thats probably one of the gayest things ive read in a while

TT: Yes, well, prose aside, you are now obligated to go with me to the store Kanaya owns. TT: I get to see Kanaya again, and you get a suit. TT: I’m killing two birds with one stone. TT: Not only that, but you get to meet a cute troll.

TG: clearly the only upside TG: anyway what time is this place open TG: because i would like to get this over and done with as soon as possible

TT: Good. TT: I’ll come over to pick you up in twenty minutes.

-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

You decide to edit one of your videos during that time, and soon you hear the ring of your doorbell.

Your get up to answer the door, and there is your sister looking more dressed up than usual.

“You’re dressed up. Trying to impress Kanaya?” You tease.

“Oh, silence. It’s not like you didn’t get dressed better than usual because I informed you that the boy working at the store was cute.”

“Okay, okay! Uncle! I admit it. I took five minutes of my time to look slightly better than normal, but at least I’m able to admit that.”

“I’m going to put the radio on.” Rose said, putting on obnoxious pop music that you both have heard a hundred times.

“If you don’t think I can easily talk over this poor excuse for good music then you have clearly underestimated my ability to ramble on for hours upon hours on end to even myself. There doesn’t even have to be anyone there. I’ll just be over here vomiting any stray thought I have out onto the ground where anyone can see it.Now I have to clean up all this fucking vomit on the floor because it's stinking up the room, and wow. I completely forgot where I was going with any of this.

“We’re here.” Rose suddenly commented.

You stared at her for a solid thirty seconds.

“You played me for a goddamn fool.” You finally say. Rose simply smirked all knowing like as the two of you got out the car.

The two of you went into the store, which, oddly enough, smelled a lot like rosemary.

The store was colorful and seemed to have nearly any article of clothing a person could want. There was also a sign that advised against licking the clothes, which reminded you of Terezi.

But, the moment your eyes wondered over to the register, your heart stopped. It stopped and then sped up to double time. You think you forgot to breathe.

You think what Rose told you wasn’t nearly enough to properly prepare you for how cute this troll was. Saying that he was astronomically cute was the most major understatement anyone could ever possibly make.

And Rose was pulling you toward him. Oh god, do you look okay? Would you even be able to talk to him? Come on, Dave. Take a deep breath. Be cool.

“Hello, Karkat.” Rose greeted.

“Hello, Miss Lalonde. What do you need?”

“Polite as ever, but you can just call me Rose. However, I did come here for more than just exchanging pleasantries. I would like to see Kanaya about getting my brother, Dave, here a suit.”

“Alright. I’ll go get her for you.” Karkat left and soon afterward an elegant looking woman came out with Karkat.

“If you’ll come with me, I can get you measured.” The woman said.

“Thank you.” Rose responded, and the two of you went to the back with Kanaya.

You can’t believe you’re being forced to get measured with your sister and Kanaya flirting up a storm. It was honestly extremely embarrassing.

At long last, you were done being measured, and you bolted out of the room after telling Rose that she could pick out whatever kind of suit she wants. This may or may not have been a good decision on your part, but you were just glad you didn’t have to see your sister make goo-goo eyes at Kanaya for another minute.

However, you were now back in the store part of the store where the cute guy was. You had no idea how to even begin interacting with him, so you decided to look through the store. To be fair, the clothes looked like they were really well made, so you ended up picking a few items that you genuinely wanted to buy.

When you began making your way to the register, you were revisited with the problem of how to talk to the cute boy there.

You were already going towards the counter, so it wasn’t like you could just go back and look through the store some more, so you resigned yourself to your death.

“Um, yeah, I’d like to buy this if you would be so kind. You know, because these clothes are actually super cool, and they seem really well made, not that I would know anything, but based on what my sister says about the store, the clothes are exactly as choice as I think they are. Clearly, they are the best clothes sold from here to the ends of the universe. That’s how fantastic they are, holy shit, you know? Oh, shit, I’m rambling a lot, aren’t I? I do that a lot, especially if I’m nervous. I swear I’m not actually nervous. You’re just really cute. Fuck. Okay, just forget I called you cute, not that you aren’t. You are extremely attractive and cute, and shit, I probably sound super creepy right now. I swear I didn’t mean to. I-”

You went quiet when he began to laugh. You just stood there in a dumbstruck silence while he laughed. Eventually, he stopped and spoke.

“Oh my god. When you came in here, I just thought you were some kind of insufferable prick, but you’re actually nervous, so I guess I thought wrong.”

You weren’t really able to respond due to being caught off guard by the laughter. The sound of footsteps came closer until the door was slammed open.

“I heard laughter, Karkat, what is it that you are laughing at?” Kanaya questioned.

“Did you just run over here because you heard me laugh?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you have a customer to work with?”

“Yes, but you do not genuinely laugh similarly to that quite nearly as often enough, so I decided to come over to where you were to find out what caused you to laugh so uproariously. However, all I see is Rose’s brother, who I have been informed has a very poor sense of humor that is based heavily in the art of irony.”

“Are you saying I’m not funny?” You finally manage to say something, and, of course, it isn’t even to the troll you were flustered over.

“Although I am incapable of being absolutely certain of the fact due to my not knowing you very well, but the way Rose described your humor left much to be desired.”

“Kanaya, you really should be getting back to talking to Rose.” Karkat said.

“All right, all right. But you will talk to me later, correct?”

“Of course I will.”

Kanaya left, and Karkat turned to face Dave.

“Wow. I can’t believe my own flesh and blood would betray me like this. What kind of sibling even tells someone else that her dear brother has a shitty sense of humor. And Kanaya over there just ripped me a fucking new one, holy shit.”

“Don’t worry about it. That’s just her sense of humor shining through.” Karkat responded. “Now could you please pay for the clothes you just bought?”

“Oh! Yeah, alright.” You fumble for your wallet and give him your credit card to pay for the items. He neatly puts them in a bag and hands them to you along with the receipt.

You take a moment to write your chumhandle down on the receipt, along with a little message saying to be sure to contact you.

Rose finally comes out of the room where Kanaya was.

“Are you ready to leave, Dave?”

“Hell fucking yeah, I am.”

Before the two of you leave, you ‘accidentally’ leave the receipt with Karkat, and you can hear him yelling at you once you leave the store.

“So, how was your meeting with Karkat?”

“Come one, Rose. You know I’m suave as shit. Smoother than butter, that’s what I say. People spread me and they’re like, ‘holy shit I can’t believe how fucking smooth this is.’ That’s how goddamned smooth I am and how I was.”

“Is that code for you becoming a flustered mess around any cute guy you meet?”

“Shut up.”

“Did you at least get his contact information or give him your own?” Rose questioned.

“Yeah, I wrote my chumhandle on the receipt and left it there. I have no idea if he will actually message me or anything. Probably not based on how much of a mess I was.”

“So that’s why he was yelling at us when we left. But you can try to hold on to some semblance of hope that he will willingly contact you.”

“I guess that’s better than nothing, but I am not going to expect much.”

  Once you got home, you got on the computer to pester Terezi.

 -- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

 TG: tz holy shit i need to tell you something

GC: WH4T 1S 1T D4V3?

TG: i just met this guy okay

TG: super cute and i even made him laugh like holy fuck

TG: and all i was doing was rambling on for forever like i usually do

TG: especially because he was extremely cute and my brain just couldnt compute with the cuteness

TG: and he just started laughing

TG: and then the owner of the fucking store came running to see what was so funny

TG: apparently he doesnt laugh much

TG: and then she insulted my sense of humor

TG: like why do you have to ripe on a dudes humor like that

GC: HOW B4D W4S TH3 BURN?

TG: it was so fucking bad

TG: had to get cold water poured on it immediately afterwards

TG: went to the hospital and i was on the emergency track

TG: thats how fucking bad it was

GC: 1 C4NT B3L1V3 SOM3ON3 4CTU4LLY D1D TH4T

TG: i know right

GC: BUT ON 4 S1D3 NOT3

GC: HOW CUT3 W4S TH3 BOY AND HOW MUCH OF 4 M3SS OF YOURS3LF D1D YOU M4K3?

TG: the guy was extremely cute

TG: massively cute

TG: so cute that im gonna have to look up synonyms of cute merely to give you the basic rundown of how cute he is

TG: endearing adorable lovable sweet lovely appealing engaging delightful dear darling winning winsome attractive pretty good looking handsome attractive gorgeous

TG: some of these dont really make sense but you get the idea

TG: this boys cuteness is nothing to be trifled with

GC: H3 SOUNDS D3L1C1OUS

GC: D1D YOU G3T H1S NUMB3R

GC: OR P3ST3RCHUM H4NDL3 OR TROLL H4NDL3

GC: WH4T3V3R H3 US3S

TG: i gave him my pesterchum handle but i dont even know if he will even bother messaging me

TG: or shit if he even uses pesterchum or trollian or whatever

GC: H3 PROBABLY DO3S

GC: MOST P3OPL3 DO B3C4US3 1TS E4SY TO US3

GC: 4ND 1 COULD NOT S33 WHY H3 WOULDNT W4NT TO CONT4CT YOU

GC: BOTH B3CAUS3 YOU 4R3 SUP3R COOL 4ND B3C4USE 1 4M BL1ND 4ND TH3R3FOR3 C4NT S33

TG: shit i guess youre right as always pyrope

GC: 1TS 4 SP3C14LTY OF M1N3 >:]

GC: B31NG R1GHT TH4T 1S

TG: solid facts are being brought up here

TG: completely frozen and strong enough to stay as a goddamned solid or however the fuck that works

TG: facts that cant even be disputed like at all

TG: because that would be just blasphemy

TG: anyway im kind of hungry so im going to go eat

TG: see ya tz

GC: SM3LL YOU L4T3R COOL K1D

 -- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] --

[artificialqueens]

Shattered (shalaska) - indie

A/N: So this was originally supposed to be a response to a prompt about Alaska winding up in the hospital with no ID and jealous Sharon (which I do still want to write eventually), but instead turned into something much more depressing that will likely wind up being a chaptered fic about learning how to pick up the pieces when the world knocks you on your ass. As always any and all feedback is appreciated. :)

“Hellooo, Lasky,” Katya says into the phone to the tune of ‘hello nurse,’ a grin spread across her face. “Did you miss me that much already?”

Her face scrunches in confusion when it isn’t Alaska who replies.

“What?”

Katya’s heart sinks.

“Justin. His name is Justin. I don’t- I don’t have any family contact information but I can get some.”

She nods even though the person on the other end can’t see her.

“Okay. Thank you.”

She pushes the end button on her phone and drops it as tears begin to brim her lids. She stands there for a moment, anxious and terrified, until she picks up her phone again. The first person she calls is Trixie.

“Alaska’s in the hospital and I don’t know what to do,” Katya says all in one breath, so the words string together, like if she says them fast enough they’ll somehow be less true, less terrifying. Trixie talks for a moment on the other end of the line and Katya can feel her heartbeat slow within her chest as she takes a few deep breaths and together they form a plan.

Katya paces around her living room as she waits for David to answer. The phone rings four times before a voice on the other end picks up.

“David it’s Katya,” she starts and pauses for long enough that David asks if she’s still there. “Yeah, sorry I just - it’s about Alaska. She’s been in a car accident… She didn’t have her wallet. They think… they think she was drunk.”

She leaves the last part out when she talks to Pam and heads straight to the hospital. She paces as she waits for updates from the doctors and watches the minutes, hours tick by as Alaska is in surgery, smiles as politely as she can as Alaska’s family shows up, terrified. They sit in silence until a doctor walks through the door and tells them things are going slow but steady, but things were looking good.

A wave of slight relief floods the waiting room and Katya smiles for the first time since her phone rang. After a moment of conversation, Cory pipes up.

“Has anyone told Sharon what’s going on?”

“David said he would, but I haven’t heard from either of them.”

“I’ll text her.”

—

The radio static pierces the otherwise silent cab. The cab driver tries to make polite conversation, but stops after the third question Sharon doesn’t bother to answer. She doesn’t have the energy to speak. Not right now. The light from her phone illuminates the back seat every few minutes as she stares at the last text message she received.

Did David tell you about Alaska?

She hands the cab driver enough to cover her fare and then some and steps into the bright lights of the airport. She purchases a one-way ticket with a knot in her stomach and makes her way through security and to her gate. She’s surrounded by business people with suitcases and somewhere more important to be. The latter part is the only thing they have in common. Worry gnaws at her inside as she tries to distract herself with Instagram and Twitter, apologizing for having to cancel her show for the night and silently willing time to simultaneously speed up and slow down so she can get to Pittsburgh sooner while still having time. All she wants is time.

I’m only an airplane ride away, baby.

She doesn’t remember falling asleep on the plane, and by the time she slides into the uber to bring her to the hospital the lump in her throat she’s been trying to ignore aches to the point of pain and she brings her hands up to her mouth, choking out a small sob. She can’t remember the last time she was this afraid of anything.

I’m only a cab ride away, baby.

She inhales a deep breath and regains her composure quickly as the uber pulls up the hospital doors. The driver murmurs out something Sharon doesn’t quite make out before she steps out of the door and stares up at the large brick building. She stands outside for only a minute trying to mentally prepare for what she’s about to see, but it feels like an eternity before she actually manages to put one foot in front of the other to enter.

The woman at the front desk is too cheerful for 7 a.m., but she gives Sharon the directions that she needs without much trouble and Sharon presses the button and exhales a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding until the double doors closed.

I’m only an elevator ride away, baby.

Her foot taps rhythmically against the elevator floor to a piano mix of a song Sharon recognizes but can’t place the name of. She stops trying as the elevator dings and the double doors open again. Room 403. Her eyes scan the hallway carefully for the room number and she’s so absorbed with searching she doesn’t realize Pam is screaming until she walks into the room. Brooke is holding Alaska’s hand and repeating ‘no’ over and over again. Ryan is sat on the other side of the bed, his head cradled in his hands and his shoulders rising and falling with heavy sobs. Sharon locks eyes with Cory as he frowns and shakes his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Her eyes fall to Alaska lying there with a shaved head, tubes coming out of her nose, eyes closed, unmoving.

Dead.

The world goes deafeningly silent as Sharon backs out of the room collapses against a wall trying and failing to remember how to breathe. She was supposed to be okay. She brings her knees up to her chest. She was in surgery. She brings her hands up to cover her face as tears leave her eyes against her will and her entire body shakes with sobs. She was supposed to be okay. She stays stays like that, sobbing and repeating her mantra of foolish, failed optimism until several pairs of arms pull her to her feet. Even blurred with tears she recognizes the faces of Willam and Courtney and their presence only makes her sob harder. Their arms wrap around her and envelop her in a hug. She’s grateful; her legs feel as if they’ll betray her and give out any moment. Provided her heart didn’t do that first.

I wasn’t good enough to you. I should have been around more. I should have been here. I love you. I love you. I love you. I’m sorry. You were supposed to be okay.

“Sharon… you’re here…” Katya’s voice broke through the sounds of cries around them and every ounce of sadness and guilt Sharon feels turns to rage as she opens her eyes to see Katya standing a foot away, puffy-eyed and on the verge of tears.

“Don’t talk to me, Katya,” Sharon snaps. “You were fucking here. Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Sharon, that’s not fair. I-I didn’t know until I got the call from the hospital. I don’t have your number!”

“Don’t do this right now,” Willam interjects.

“No this is fucking bullshit,” Sharon shouts, her voice echoing through the mostly vacant hospital hall. There’s so much pain and she doesn’t know what to do with it, but far heavier than the pain is the guilt. She doesn’t know how to cope. The only person she wants to see is in the other room no longer breathing, and somehow that doesn’t seem real. That fact can’t be real. “Why didn’t they call me!?”

“Sharon calm down,” Courtney begs and Sharon pulls away from all of them and shakes her head, her face covered in tears.

“The last thing we did was fight!” Sharon yells and the other three fall silent immediately. “I didn’t get to apologize! I didn’t get to say goodbye! I didn’t get- I didn’t-” Her voice trails off as she chokes out another sob and another pair of arms wrap around her. This time it’s Cory who’s voice she heads.

“This isn’t your fault, Aaron. This isn’t anyone’s fault.”

She knows it’s supposed to feel reassuring, but it doesn’t help ease the guilt. None of the words in the world can lift her spirits as she stands in the same room she and Alaska had shared every time they visited Pam for the better part of a decade and pulls the only things she remembered to grab out of her pockets - house keys, her wallet, and a ring.

You were supposed to be okay.

[eddiejpoplar]

First Drive: 2019 Jaguar I-Pace EV

FARO, PORTUGAL — The cars are lined up nose to tail in the pits, gleaming in the early afternoon Algarve sun and ready for maximum attack. Helmets on, we climb in, hit the stop/start button and … silence. But it’s on alright, its three high-def screens alight and displaying information. Dynamic mode selected and D button pushed, we creep out of our spot and toward Turn 1 of the Algarve International Circuit in an all-electric crossover. Yes, you read that right.

Although we’re not exactly sure what to expect once we get up to speed out on the track (complicating matters is that it’s our first time at Portimão), we already have a pretty good idea that the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace is going to acquit itself quite well. Because we’ve already put it through its I-Paces all over southern Portugal, and it has taken that flogging from us with barely a whimper—and barely making one as we did.

The I-Pace is one of a number of electric vehicles headed to the showrooms of mainstream automakers in the next year or two. If the majority of them end up coming out like Jag’s first effort, we’re going to find out pretty soon whether this whole EV thing is for real, because this sleek crossover-hatch is the real deal.

Its baseline specs are impressive enough for a vehicle of this type. Jag says it hits 60 mph in 4.5 seconds—not bad for a vehicle that weighs roughly 4,800 pounds. Range is always a talking point, and with an estimated 240 miles to a charge (official EPA numbers haven’t been posted quite yet), it’s on par with a Tesla Model X 75D.

Step on the gas, er, electrons—or whatever you want to call it—and the I-Pace gives you that instant torque shove characteristic of EVs, which will push you back in its comfortable and supportive driver’s seat. Its single-speed automatic delivers power to the I-Pace’s front and rear synchronous electric motors located on each axle that combine to deliver 394 hp and 512 lb-ft of torque at peak efficiency. Power is supplied by a 90-kwHr battery pack with 432 pouch cells that look like individually wrapped Pop Tarts, about 1,400 pounds worth of them boxed and stored in the car’s floor. It’s not ludicrously fast, but any all-EV vehicle with a sub-five-second 60 mph time is going to feel faster than it is, and the I-Pace is no exception.

The electric Jaguar crossover delivers power to the rear motor up to 30 mph. After that it optimizes delivery between the axles in an effort to keep range pegged. Other tricks to find a few more miles include a higher brake regeneration setting that you can switch to if you desire, which can make for mainly one pedal driving depending on situation. Another clever feature is the addition of a creep mode that mimics the off-brake forward movement of a traditional automatic. It works as intended.

One issue that has been perplexing automakers with a performance heritage to maintain like Jaguar is how to create sound for an EV, a noise that mimics the aggressive driving experience that the Leaper is famous for. It’s a double-edged issue, as many EV fans enjoy the diminished racket, and indeed at low speeds the I-Pace is as hush-hush as expected. Jag engineers had a go at creating some aural dynamism and allow you to dial up the artificial jams that get a smidge more raucous when you’re jamming in Dynamic mode on some of the Algarve region’s killer twisted-up backroads. It’s not going to make you forget a D-type’s wail, but it (sort of) does the job.

Jaguar also wanted to make sure the I-Pace would handle, and to that end it succeed quite well. Bolted onto what’s essentially an all-aluminum chassis is a version of the automaker’s double wishbone front and integral link rear setup—with anti-roll bars. It’s augmented by an air suspension that allows the crossover to be raised and lowered about two inches depending on the setting. It also automatically drops the car around a quarter inch in high-speed situations.

Aerodynamics also play a huge part in getting range up, and lead designer Wayne Burgess and his team worked some interesting angles on the I-Pace, not the least of which was bending the top of the modern Jaguar look grille and opening up a gap in the hood area, which pushes air over the huge expanse of glass that tops the crossover and to the rear rooftop spoiler. When combined with the other work done to push air away from the car, the effect is that swirling dust and rain are kept off of the back window, nixing the need for a rear wiper—made possible in part by the I-Pace’s EV packaging.

Other interesting fun facts about the I-Pace: it can ford water up to just short of 20 inches high (we splashed through a tiny creek and tackled a couple of light off-roading obstacles with ease), it has a near 50/50 front/rear weight distribution, and a lithe 0.29 drag coefficient with the 18-inch tire/rim package. We rolled primarily on the optional 22-inch setup, and a 20-inch option is also available.

It can also get around a track. The fact that Jag had the stones to let us loose in the I-Pace at Portimao was impressive in its own right. As we’ve outlined, driving an EV is a different experience, as a couple of hot laps in the battery-powered cat reinforced. It’s hard to immediately wrap your head around a car that essentially starts trail braking the second you lift, one that is balanced but heavy. While we tackled the circuit well enough and approached its 124 top end on the long straight, the brake pedal itself can be a bit on the soft side when you first put your foot to it. The steering wheel feels great to hand with its diameter and thickness, and its heavy turn-in worked well for the track and aggressive maneuvering, but seemed a bit ponderous and artificial at times in typical around town driving. While it exhibited some roll at the track, out on the squiggly ribbons we were straight up tearing it up and having an E-blast. What little bumpy stuff we encountered, the I-Pace soaked up fairly well, likely helped by its longish 117.7-inch wheelbase.

You typical I-Pace customer (i.e. well-off types in their 50s) is likely never going to go near a track unless they’re there to root on Nelson Piquet Jr. driving the Jaguar Panasonic I-Type E-Racer in the Formula E series. Or maybe one of the drivers who will pilot race-spec I-Paces later this year as part of a support series for Formula E called eTROPHY. Yeah, this EV was built to run very fast. We will not be shocked (sorry) to see a tuned version of the I-Pace soon enough.

No, what the I-Pace driver is likely to show off other than the pull from the stoplight to his or her friends is its InControl Remote app that can pre-condition the car to your optimum climate control settings, radio preferences, and the like. (Over the air updates will also be available.) Or the three digital screens (instrument panel, 10-inch main vehicle control navi/entertainment, and supplemental 5.5-inch screen below). Or the well-laid out, luxury leaning, and spatially optimized cab-forward cabin that will fit four grown humans with ease (five in a pinch)—or a decent amount of gear, especially with the back seats folded to offer up 51 cu-ft of space. Then there’s that impressive, all glass, stem to stern panoramic roof (which does not open, but hey, it looks super cool).

What those friends are also likely to ask though is how easy it is to charge it? Can it get to work three days straight or to my mountain hideaway and back?

The answer is mainly yes. The I-Pace has a feature that shows you how much battery life it has left at various points along a journey you set in the navigation, and will tell you where the nearest charging stations are. It can handle 50-kW DC (85 minutes to 80 percent charge) or 100-kW DC (40 minutes to 80 percent charge) charging. If you have a 240-volt setup in your garage, it’ll get to 80 percent in 10 hours or so, almost 13 to full charge. So there are some drawbacks, as charging stations can be hit or miss, although topping off to say 40 or 60 percent charge isn’t super onerous on a quicker charger. There’s no getting around the fact that the infrastructure and charge times are not to mass market standards, but if you don’t know that and aren’t prepared to deal with some of the downsides, an EV isn’t a great option at this point, you late adopter, you.

What the I-Pace proved to us is that Jaguar made an EV that’s really good and fun to drive. It is also prepared to put its plug where its socket is with a major 80,000-mile warranty for the battery. It’s a package that bodes well for what’s to come from other major automakers that are eager to see if the Tesla phenomenon is limited to Tesla, or if the car buying public is truly ready to embrace EVs, especially at the lower end of the market—although the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace most definitely does not reside there given its 70 grand starting point. One thing’s for sure, more competition will spur innovation, and after our drive we can safely say that Jaguar is off to one heck of a head start over most of the coming electrified horde.

2019 Jaguar I-Pace Specifications

ON SALE August 2018 PRICE $70,495 (base) MOTOR Dual synchronous/200 hp, 512 lb-ft BATTERY Li-on/ 90 kWh TRANSMISSION Single-speed LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front- and rear-motor, AWD Crossover EPA MILEAGE 93/97 mpge (city/hwy) EPA MAX RANGE 240 miles 240V CHARGE TIME 13 hours (est.) L x W x H 184.3 x 63.1 x 84.2 in WHEELBASE 117.7 in WEIGHT 4,784 lb 0-60 MPH 4.5 sec TOP SPEED 124 mph

IFTTT

[jesusvasser]

First Drive: 2019 Jaguar I-Pace EV

FARO, PORTUGAL — The cars are lined up nose to tail in the pits, gleaming in the early afternoon Algarve sun and ready for maximum attack. Helmets on, we climb in, hit the stop/start button and … silence. But it’s on alright, its three high-def screens alight and displaying information. Dynamic mode selected and D button pushed, we creep out of our spot and toward Turn 1 of the Algarve International Circuit in an all-electric crossover. Yes, you read that right.

Although we’re not exactly sure what to expect once we get up to speed out on the track (complicating matters is that it’s our first time at Portimão), we already have a pretty good idea that the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace is going to acquit itself quite well. Because we’ve already put it through its I-Paces all over southern Portugal, and it has taken that flogging from us with barely a whimper—and barely making one as we did.

The I-Pace is one of a number of electric vehicles headed to the showrooms of mainstream automakers in the next year or two. If the majority of them end up coming out like Jag’s first effort, we’re going to find out pretty soon whether this whole EV thing is for real, because this sleek crossover-hatch is the real deal.

Its baseline specs are impressive enough for a vehicle of this type. Jag says it hits 60 mph in 4.5 seconds—not bad for a vehicle that weighs roughly 4,800 pounds. Range is always a talking point, and with an estimated 240 miles to a charge (official EPA numbers haven’t been posted quite yet), it’s on par with a Tesla Model X 75D.

Step on the gas, er, electrons—or whatever you want to call it—and the I-Pace gives you that instant torque shove characteristic of EVs, which will push you back in its comfortable and supportive driver’s seat. Its single-speed automatic delivers power to the I-Pace’s front and rear synchronous electric motors located on each axle that combine to deliver 394 hp and 512 lb-ft of torque at peak efficiency. Power is supplied by a 90-kwHr battery pack with 432 pouch cells that look like individually wrapped Pop Tarts, about 1,400 pounds worth of them boxed and stored in the car’s floor. It’s not ludicrously fast, but any all-EV vehicle with a sub-five-second 60 mph time is going to feel faster than it is, and the I-Pace is no exception.

The electric Jaguar crossover delivers power to the rear motor up to 30 mph. After that it optimizes delivery between the axles in an effort to keep range pegged. Other tricks to find a few more miles include a higher brake regeneration setting that you can switch to if you desire, which can make for mainly one pedal driving depending on situation. Another clever feature is the addition of a creep mode that mimics the off-brake forward movement of a traditional automatic. It works as intended.

One issue that has been perplexing automakers with a performance heritage to maintain like Jaguar is how to create sound for an EV, a noise that mimics the aggressive driving experience that the Leaper is famous for. It’s a double-edged issue, as many EV fans enjoy the diminished racket, and indeed at low speeds the I-Pace is as hush-hush as expected. Jag engineers had a go at creating some aural dynamism and allow you to dial up the artificial jams that get a smidge more raucous when you’re jamming in Dynamic mode on some of the Algarve region’s killer twisted-up backroads. It’s not going to make you forget a D-type’s wail, but it (sort of) does the job.

Jaguar also wanted to make sure the I-Pace would handle, and to that end it succeed quite well. Bolted onto what’s essentially an all-aluminum chassis is a version of the automaker’s double wishbone front and integral link rear setup—with anti-roll bars. It’s augmented by an air suspension that allows the crossover to be raised and lowered about two inches depending on the setting. It also automatically drops the car around a quarter inch in high-speed situations.

Aerodynamics also play a huge part in getting range up, and lead designer Wayne Burgess and his team worked some interesting angles on the I-Pace, not the least of which was bending the top of the modern Jaguar look grille and opening up a gap in the hood area, which pushes air over the huge expanse of glass that tops the crossover and to the rear rooftop spoiler. When combined with the other work done to push air away from the car, the effect is that swirling dust and rain are kept off of the back window, nixing the need for a rear wiper—made possible in part by the I-Pace’s EV packaging.

Other interesting fun facts about the I-Pace: it can ford water up to just short of 20 inches high (we splashed through a tiny creek and tackled a couple of light off-roading obstacles with ease), it has a near 50/50 front/rear weight distribution, and a lithe 0.29 drag coefficient with the 18-inch tire/rim package. We rolled primarily on the optional 22-inch setup, and a 20-inch option is also available.

It can also get around a track. The fact that Jag had the stones to let us loose in the I-Pace at Portimao was impressive in its own right. As we’ve outlined, driving an EV is a different experience, as a couple of hot laps in the battery-powered cat reinforced. It’s hard to immediately wrap your head around a car that essentially starts trail braking the second you lift, one that is balanced but heavy. While we tackled the circuit well enough and approached its 124 top end on the long straight, the brake pedal itself can be a bit on the soft side when you first put your foot to it. The steering wheel feels great to hand with its diameter and thickness, and its heavy turn-in worked well for the track and aggressive maneuvering, but seemed a bit ponderous and artificial at times in typical around town driving. While it exhibited some roll at the track, out on the squiggly ribbons we were straight up tearing it up and having an E-blast. What little bumpy stuff we encountered, the I-Pace soaked up fairly well, likely helped by its longish 117.7-inch wheelbase.

You typical I-Pace customer (i.e. well-off types in their 50s) is likely never going to go near a track unless they’re there to root on Nelson Piquet Jr. driving the Jaguar Panasonic I-Type E-Racer in the Formula E series. Or maybe one of the drivers who will pilot race-spec I-Paces later this year as part of a support series for Formula E called eTROPHY. Yeah, this EV was built to run very fast. We will not be shocked (sorry) to see a tuned version of the I-Pace soon enough.

No, what the I-Pace driver is likely to show off other than the pull from the stoplight to his or her friends is its InControl Remote app that can pre-condition the car to your optimum climate control settings, radio preferences, and the like. (Over the air updates will also be available.) Or the three digital screens (instrument panel, 10-inch main vehicle control navi/entertainment, and supplemental 5.5-inch screen below). Or the well-laid out, luxury leaning, and spatially optimized cab-forward cabin that will fit four grown humans with ease (five in a pinch)—or a decent amount of gear, especially with the back seats folded to offer up 51 cu-ft of space. Then there’s that impressive, all glass, stem to stern panoramic roof (which does not open, but hey, it looks super cool).

What those friends are also likely to ask though is how easy it is to charge it? Can it get to work three days straight or to my mountain hideaway and back?

The answer is mainly yes. The I-Pace has a feature that shows you how much battery life it has left at various points along a journey you set in the navigation, and will tell you where the nearest charging stations are. It can handle 50-kW DC (85 minutes to 80 percent charge) or 100-kW DC (40 minutes to 80 percent charge) charging. If you have a 240-volt setup in your garage, it’ll get to 80 percent in 10 hours or so, almost 13 to full charge. So there are some drawbacks, as charging stations can be hit or miss, although topping off to say 40 or 60 percent charge isn’t super onerous on a quicker charger. There’s no getting around the fact that the infrastructure and charge times are not to mass market standards, but if you don’t know that and aren’t prepared to deal with some of the downsides, an EV isn’t a great option at this point, you late adopter, you.

What the I-Pace proved to us is that Jaguar made an EV that’s really good and fun to drive. It is also prepared to put its plug where its socket is with a major 80,000-mile warranty for the battery. It’s a package that bodes well for what’s to come from other major automakers that are eager to see if the Tesla phenomenon is limited to Tesla, or if the car buying public is truly ready to embrace EVs, especially at the lower end of the market—although the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace most definitely does not reside there given its 70 grand starting point. One thing’s for sure, more competition will spur innovation, and after our drive we can safely say that Jaguar is off to one heck of a head start over most of the coming electrified horde.

2019 Jaguar I-Pace Specifications

ON SALE August 2018 PRICE $70,495 (base) MOTOR Dual synchronous/200 hp, 512 lb-ft BATTERY Li-on/ 90 kWh TRANSMISSION Single-speed LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front- and rear-motor, AWD Crossover EPA MILEAGE 93/97 mpge (city/hwy) EPA MAX RANGE 240 miles 240V CHARGE TIME 13 hours (est.) L x W x H 184.3 x 63.1 x 84.2 in WHEELBASE 117.7 in WEIGHT 4,784 lb 0-60 MPH 4.5 sec TOP SPEED 124 mph

IFTTT

[jonathanbelloblog]

First Drive: 2019 Jaguar I-Pace EV

FARO, PORTUGAL — The cars are lined up nose to tail in the pits, gleaming in the early afternoon Algarve sun and ready for maximum attack. Helmets on, we climb in, hit the stop/start button and … silence. But it’s on alright, its three high-def screens alight and displaying information. Dynamic mode selected and D button pushed, we creep out of our spot and toward Turn 1 of the Algarve International Circuit in an all-electric crossover. Yes, you read that right.

Although we’re not exactly sure what to expect once we get up to speed out on the track (complicating matters is that it’s our first time at Portimão), we already have a pretty good idea that the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace is going to acquit itself quite well. Because we’ve already put it through its I-Paces all over southern Portugal, and it has taken that flogging from us with barely a whimper—and barely making one as we did.

The I-Pace is one of a number of electric vehicles headed to the showrooms of mainstream automakers in the next year or two. If the majority of them end up coming out like Jag’s first effort, we’re going to find out pretty soon whether this whole EV thing is for real, because this sleek crossover-hatch is the real deal.

Its baseline specs are impressive enough for a vehicle of this type. Jag says it hits 60 mph in 4.5 seconds—not bad for a vehicle that weighs roughly 4,800 pounds. Range is always a talking point, and with an estimated 240 miles to a charge (official EPA numbers haven’t been posted quite yet), it’s on par with a Tesla Model X 75D.

Step on the gas, er, electrons—or whatever you want to call it—and the I-Pace gives you that instant torque shove characteristic of EVs, which will push you back in its comfortable and supportive driver’s seat. Its single-speed automatic delivers power to the I-Pace’s front and rear synchronous electric motors located on each axle that combine to deliver 394 hp and 512 lb-ft of torque at peak efficiency. Power is supplied by a 90-kwHr battery pack with 432 pouch cells that look like individually wrapped Pop Tarts, about 1,400 pounds worth of them boxed and stored in the car’s floor. It’s not ludicrously fast, but any all-EV vehicle with a sub-five-second 60 mph time is going to feel faster than it is, and the I-Pace is no exception.

The electric Jaguar crossover delivers power to the rear motor up to 30 mph. After that it optimizes delivery between the axles in an effort to keep range pegged. Other tricks to find a few more miles include a higher brake regeneration setting that you can switch to if you desire, which can make for mainly one pedal driving depending on situation. Another clever feature is the addition of a creep mode that mimics the off-brake forward movement of a traditional automatic. It works as intended.

One issue that has been perplexing automakers with a performance heritage to maintain like Jaguar is how to create sound for an EV, a noise that mimics the aggressive driving experience that the Leaper is famous for. It’s a double-edged issue, as many EV fans enjoy the diminished racket, and indeed at low speeds the I-Pace is as hush-hush as expected. Jag engineers had a go at creating some aural dynamism and allow you to dial up the artificial jams that get a smidge more raucous when you’re jamming in Dynamic mode on some of the Algarve region’s killer twisted-up backroads. It’s not going to make you forget a D-type’s wail, but it (sort of) does the job.

Jaguar also wanted to make sure the I-Pace would handle, and to that end it succeed quite well. Bolted onto what’s essentially an all-aluminum chassis is a version of the automaker’s double wishbone front and integral link rear setup—with anti-roll bars. It’s augmented by an air suspension that allows the crossover to be raised and lowered about two inches depending on the setting. It also automatically drops the car around a quarter inch in high-speed situations.

Aerodynamics also play a huge part in getting range up, and lead designer Wayne Burgess and his team worked some interesting angles on the I-Pace, not the least of which was bending the top of the modern Jaguar look grille and opening up a gap in the hood area, which pushes air over the huge expanse of glass that tops the crossover and to the rear rooftop spoiler. When combined with the other work done to push air away from the car, the effect is that swirling dust and rain are kept off of the back window, nixing the need for a rear wiper—made possible in part by the I-Pace’s EV packaging.

Other interesting fun facts about the I-Pace: it can ford water up to just short of 20 inches high (we splashed through a tiny creek and tackled a couple of light off-roading obstacles with ease), it has a near 50/50 front/rear weight distribution, and a lithe 0.29 drag coefficient with the 18-inch tire/rim package. We rolled primarily on the optional 22-inch setup, and a 20-inch option is also available.

It can also get around a track. The fact that Jag had the stones to let us loose in the I-Pace at Portimao was impressive in its own right. As we’ve outlined, driving an EV is a different experience, as a couple of hot laps in the battery-powered cat reinforced. It’s hard to immediately wrap your head around a car that essentially starts trail braking the second you lift, one that is balanced but heavy. While we tackled the circuit well enough and approached its 124 top end on the long straight, the brake pedal itself can be a bit on the soft side when you first put your foot to it. The steering wheel feels great to hand with its diameter and thickness, and its heavy turn-in worked well for the track and aggressive maneuvering, but seemed a bit ponderous and artificial at times in typical around town driving. While it exhibited some roll at the track, out on the squiggly ribbons we were straight up tearing it up and having an E-blast. What little bumpy stuff we encountered, the I-Pace soaked up fairly well, likely helped by its longish 117.7-inch wheelbase.

You typical I-Pace customer (i.e. well-off types in their 50s) is likely never going to go near a track unless they’re there to root on Nelson Piquet Jr. driving the Jaguar Panasonic I-Type E-Racer in the Formula E series. Or maybe one of the drivers who will pilot race-spec I-Paces later this year as part of a support series for Formula E called eTROPHY. Yeah, this EV was built to run very fast. We will not be shocked (sorry) to see a tuned version of the I-Pace soon enough.

No, what the I-Pace driver is likely to show off other than the pull from the stoplight to his or her friends is its InControl Remote app that can pre-condition the car to your optimum climate control settings, radio preferences, and the like. (Over the air updates will also be available.) Or the three digital screens (instrument panel, 10-inch main vehicle control navi/entertainment, and supplemental 5.5-inch screen below). Or the well-laid out, luxury leaning, and spatially optimized cab-forward cabin that will fit four grown humans with ease (five in a pinch)—or a decent amount of gear, especially with the back seats folded to offer up 51 cu-ft of space. Then there’s that impressive, all glass, stem to stern panoramic roof (which does not open, but hey, it looks super cool).

What those friends are also likely to ask though is how easy it is to charge it? Can it get to work three days straight or to my mountain hideaway and back?

The answer is mainly yes. The I-Pace has a feature that shows you how much battery life it has left at various points along a journey you set in the navigation, and will tell you where the nearest charging stations are. It can handle 50-kW DC (85 minutes to 80 percent charge) or 100-kW DC (40 minutes to 80 percent charge) charging. If you have a 240-volt setup in your garage, it’ll get to 80 percent in 10 hours or so, almost 13 to full charge. So there are some drawbacks, as charging stations can be hit or miss, although topping off to say 40 or 60 percent charge isn’t super onerous on a quicker charger. There’s no getting around the fact that the infrastructure and charge times are not to mass market standards, but if you don’t know that and aren’t prepared to deal with some of the downsides, an EV isn’t a great option at this point, you late adopter, you.

What the I-Pace proved to us is that Jaguar made an EV that’s really good and fun to drive. It is also prepared to put its plug where its socket is with a major 80,000-mile warranty for the battery. It’s a package that bodes well for what’s to come from other major automakers that are eager to see if the Tesla phenomenon is limited to Tesla, or if the car buying public is truly ready to embrace EVs, especially at the lower end of the market—although the 2019 Jaguar I-Pace most definitely does not reside there given its 70 grand starting point. One thing’s for sure, more competition will spur innovation, and after our drive we can safely say that Jaguar is off to one heck of a head start over most of the coming electrified horde.

2019 Jaguar I-Pace Specifications

ON SALE August 2018 PRICE $70,495 (base) MOTOR Dual synchronous/200 hp, 512 lb-ft BATTERY Li-on/ 90 kWh TRANSMISSION Single-speed LAYOUT 4-door, 5-passenger, front- and rear-motor, AWD Crossover EPA MILEAGE 93/97 mpge (city/hwy) EPA MAX RANGE 240 miles 240V CHARGE TIME 13 hours (est.) L x W x H 184.3 x 63.1 x 84.2 in WHEELBASE 117.7 in WEIGHT 4,784 lb 0-60 MPH 4.5 sec TOP SPEED 124 mph

IFTTT