#pretending to give birth

[imhavingababy]

ohhhh god it hurts it hurts it's--

ohhhhhh the first twin is crowning!!!!!!

[hypbellylver]

so much fun to take pics with my belly >.< it made me so wet i soaked through my panties on accident! being full of babies makes me so horny. i love feeling how tight and heavy i am when i’m like this…

[moongothic]

Okay so realistically speaking, giving birth is an excruciating, painful nightmare, and from the few Crocodad fics I've seen most people seem to prefer to write realistic pregnancy and make Luffy's birth a (physically) painful thing. Because it makes sense, it might be more relatable for some writers that way etc, and that's perfectly fine (like genuinely, it's not an issue at all, this is not a critique or a complaint)

God I don't know how to make this segue- Have any of you watched Ore Monogatari!! (My Love Story)? It's a great early 2010s romantic comedy series, funny as hell, super cute and sweet, would reccomend, but that aside. During the series the protagonist Takeo's mother gets pregnant and she ends up giving birth to Takeo's baby sister. And it's that scene, where Takeo's baby sister is born, that I keep on thinking back to whenever I wonder how Luffy's birth might've gone.

Takeo and his mother alike are Sturdy Motherfuckers. Like absolute gigachads, borderline superhuman, it's great and it's funny as hell. And because of that near superhuman nature... Takeo's mother goes to give birth at 4:15 pm. And she has finished giving birth at 4:16 pm. One fucking minute is what it took for this woman to bring a child into this world. An absolute legend

The screencaps do not do justice to how fucking funny this is in the actual episode

And so like

Like we know Crocodile's been through absolute hell, being an amputee and all. And as Domino told us at the entrance of Impel Down, we also know the man did not even flinch when forced into Impel Down's traditional 200 Celsius cleansing bath (or 392F)

So Crocodile has better pain tolerance than the average person. Like, you might have to put in a bit of effort to cause him actually hurt. So if giving birth to Luffy was an absolute cakewalk for Crocodile, not only would it make perfect sense in-universe and be completely in-character for him, but also

It would be objectively funny as hell

[heavywithplot]

hello again! it’s been a hot minute, I was sick for a bit, and also living in america is a nightmare at all times and it current events kind of killed my drive to draw this kind of thing 🙃

anyway!! it’s the month of halloween!!! here’s something about some new england goth called john who has an interesting relationship with a small town god and this year, the harvest festival is going with a more ancient take on the celebrations. its about new harvest, new life, you know? and because those festival dates are important, instead of nine months, it’s one.

[aardvaark]

im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.

[lobotomizedlady]

people often assume when we all go out together that I'm my half brothers mom (I'm 20 years older than him) & that his parents are his grandparents & it's so funny bc I know it bothers them. old ass idiots

[takemetodragonstone]

i have recently been made aware that it’s not normal to feel discomfort and disgust when people use your given name? like that’s not what everyone who doesn’t like their name means when they say they don’t like their name?? hearing mine makes me cringe and sometimes even makes my skin crawl or my stomach drop and you’re telling me most people don’t experience this????

[lexa-griffins]

Still on that amnesia au i can't write

Clarke knows this woman Lexa thinks she is right now but also doesn't. Clarke met this closed off to feelings Lexa, yes, but she also met her at a turning point in her life. She met a Lexa who had finally started therapy, who was healing and who, after a while, decided to give love another chance with Clarke. It's been nearly a decade since then, long gone where the days when Lexa would wake up crying for another woman's name or have periods where she would question if Clarke deserved to have someone as broken as she was. They got married, and they were building a life together. They have a baby on the way! A baby that Clarke now can't feel because she doesn't want to impose on Lexa's personal space, but every time Lexa groans about a kick she has to hold on to something to avoid the reflex of simply reaching out and touching Lexa's belly. Both Clarke and the baby are strangers to Lexa, and while the baby is no stranger to Clarke, she can not get to them without having to touch Lexa and she hates how she can't touch her wife anymore, sleeping next to her in bed - at least they are still sleeping in the same bed - without having so much as a hand touching is making Clarke feel like she's drowning.

Lexa is still here but she isn't. She doesn't smile, doesn't laugh. She doesnt squeal everytime she feels the baby move but looks uncomfortable with it like she wants it out, doesn't scrunch her face when Clarke makes a stupid joke but stare at her like she's stupid for saying something she finds dumb. And it's so heartbreakin because Lexa was on her way to an appointment, Clarke was gonna meet her there. The baby has been hiding lately and they were hoping to be able to see their face this time. And then a car hit Lexa and re relief Clarke felt when they told her Lexa and the baby were alright was completely washed away when Lexa looked at her with zero recognition and the baby they tried so hard to have and that Lexa was so in love with now more like an alien to Lexa.

[imhavingababy]

uhhhhh... for what it's worth my belly's dropped

like dramatically

we're officially on labor watch!!

[kruxton]

baby's here! 👶

[chikoyama]

continued from this | @opalchoi

The corners of her mouth remained uplifted in her usual gentle smile once Chiyori observed Opal-chan reanimate after her display of affection. Chiyori was aware that Opal-chan had a tendency to disconnect from the world, so seeing her zap back to reality like that wasn’t exactly novel, but watching her become flustered was cute regardless. “Oh, I- okay..” she returned, smiling still, though couldn't help but feel a little rejected once the other turned down her offer to help.

When the pinkette proceeded to tumble down — clumsy as usual — Chiyori instinctively took a step backward to not get tangled in her friend’s fall. Her brows arched in half surprise, half concern, and she was about to extend her hand toward her friend, but Opal-chan seemed to be up on her feet again before Chiyori could actually offer her her assistance.

Luckily, though, Opal-chan didn’t seem to be badly hurt, and with a smile of relief, Chiyori mirrored the finger heart gesture. "You know, I'm always here to help you, Opal-chan," she returned before her hand fell back to its natural rest at her side.

Casting her eyes downward, Chiyori considered the question about her day for a moment. “It was… okay,” she shrugged, not sure if there was anything new to bring up. Her day had been as per usual — not really bad, but not amazing either. Studying to become a nurse wasn’t exactly a struggleless journey. Like most things in life, it had its own ups and downs.

Amber eyes landed back on the pinkette once Chiyori remembered why she’d come to visit her friend at the coffee bar today. “Ah, Opal-chan, I saw they offered a good deal on clothes at the mall this week." With both hands holding onto the strap of her bag, Chiyori tilted her head sideways. "Would you have time to go shopping with me one of the coming days?”

[crippledanarchy]

By this time next week I'm gonna be uterus free holyfuck

[bassenji]

I'm curious what does the chip/birth control thingy gonna do

Where will it be how will it affect you will this give more control to an owner perhaps :3c

it goes above the paw and balances out my puppy hormones to make me less of a troublemaker when I go into heat

maybe it can affect my behavior, we'll see :3

[capfalcon]

i feel like the internet needs to learn something and that is "person says something kinda wrong but it's honestly not that serious who gives a fuck"