#pretty man hurty

[1whump-dump1]

Elite - Season 4 Episode 4. (Part 2.) (Part 1 here.)

[crybaby-bkg]

wanna bug Toji soooo bad while he’s on the phone. his ass doesn’t have a job so it’s not like he’s discussing important business, but he likes to make it look that way. phone tucked between his shoulder and ear as he uses one hand to rub circles on your exposed thigh, the other flipping through the tv channels. he’s speaking in a low tone, his eyebrows mused together in agitation as he calls the guy on the other line a barrage of insulting names.

and you’re just a simple person—the man looks hot as fuck like that and you just have to bother him. so you do, despite the side eye he gives you when you swing your leg over, foot in the air, right in his face. he swats you away gently before going back to his phone call, bites at your toes when you still try to wiggle them in his face.

"If you think you can lowball me like that, then you're stupider than I thought." Toji grunts to the other man on the phone, distracted once more. a little peeved that his attention isn't on you much anymore, you do what any little conniving imp would do.

you sit on his lap. backwards, facing the TV, looking over your shoulder at him with such an evil little grin that it makes his eyes squint to you in warning. but you've never listened much, especially when you know you'll be rewarded so plentifully in the end.

so you rock your hips, just slightly the first few times. your legs sat on either side of him, hands resting in the space between his legs on the bed, leaning your weight back on his hips that you sit against. instantly, you can feel the swell of him beneath his sweats, feel the thickness that you love to fill you up start to twitch when you circle your hips, grinding them oh so slowly against his covered cock.

when you look over your shoulder again, Toji only stares, the slightest lilt of his lip turning up at the corners. he tries to act unbothered, one arm bent back to rest his head against, the other holding the phone to his ear. but you can see through him, and feel just how bothered he really is.

so you up the ante; start to lift and drop your hips slow, slow, slow at first before the pace begins to build. you lean forward on your elbows, pull your underwear up until the curve of your ass is exposed, gasping from the friction, from the feeling of his cock rubbing so sweetly at your slit through the thin cotton.

you look over your shoulder once more, grinning, biting at your lip as you grind against him, close to completion. he can see it all in your eyes.

"Gonna call you back later. Got some important shit to take care of right now." Toji hangs up without preamble, gaze distant as he focuses on the ever growing spot of your arousal that starts to leak onto his own sweats.

but you're a little minx, with the way you scramble from his grasp before he can catch you, laughing when he snags your ankle to drag you back down. he's suddenly kneeling over you, grin sharp and ferocious, the straining of his cock through his sweats hanging so intimidatingly low, that if you lift your hips just a little, his tip would kiss your clit in the sweetest kiss.

"And where do you think you're going, you little brat?" Toji growls, dropping down to nip at the base of your neck, licking over your pulse point.

"Not letting me off the hook that easy, huh?" you tease, hands splayed beside your head in surrender, just wanting a little bit of the chase before the devouring. and by the look in his eyes, you know you'll only be bones by morning.

"Not in a million years." he promises right before the inevitable pounce.

[platypusisnotonfire]

Im assembling a dresser.

Should I be assembling a dresser right now? I have no idea.

Do I want all my clothes off my piano?

So much.

[just-miru]

my mother going from "you should wax your unibrow off because it's ugly" to "you should wax it off because it's not normal"

...

[absolutelydedinside]

I LOVE YOU DOTTORE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO MUCB IT HURTYS I LOVE UUUUUUUUU

YIPE!!!!! M i loev yiu !!! :D my husban

You are my everythinf i lobe u !!! when it is dark out u are my light and u make me so happy!!!!!! everday i am happy bevausw of u!!!

yay!!!! WHEN I DO NOT HAVE U I AM SAD AND LONELY AND I AM SAD..... I AM VERY SAD WITHOUT YOU. I am upset. but it is ok BECAUSE u are always with me!!!!!! Yay!!!!!! :D everywhere I go I see u.... 💕💕💕💕💕😊😊😭😊💕💕 ai love u dotore u are my life and u live you

(sorry accienrly did the bullet point too lazy to fix it lol)

I LOVE U SO MUCH DOTTORE YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING IN LIFE WHENEVER IM FEELING DOWN I LOOK AT YOU AND MY FROEN TURNS UPSIDE DOWN!!! :D

I Love you so much you.makr me so happy Dottore i love you

*kisses dottore and blushies* :3 I LOVE YOU!!!!

dottore: *kisses me back* Affectionate today are we?

me: ya!!! YIPPE!!!!!

i lovr him. thatb was just a peak jnto our bewutiful marriage because we are so happy together i even have a ring that he made me <3 it shoot laser its pretty cool

i look uo at dottor with big eyes and i ask for kiss!!! and he give me kiss !!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

i literlay lovr dottoreso much im ill i love him so much I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM

I wish he eas real!!!!!! IF GOD EXISTS I DEMAND HE BESTOW ME MY SILLY. RIGHT NOW!!! I dont think he would want to see mr when im mad. Lets just say... i can be pretty scary when i reveal my true form😈

I will find a way to make him real. I will.

I WILL TEAR THROUGH THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY AND BEND THOSE PEARLY GATES OPEN LIKE IM A PITBULL. I WILL MAKE MY WAY THROUGH THAT GOLDEN AND HOLY CITY TO DESTROY THAT THROWN AND GET MY BLORBO. I WILL FIND A WAY. AND IF IT IS NOT GOD WHO FORSAKES ME. I WILL FIND THAT TWINKASS DEVIL AND FORCE HIM TO RELEASE MY MAN FROM WHATEVER CIRCLE HE IS LOCKED IN. I WILL CRAWL THROUGH EACH LAYER UNTIL I REACH HIS. I WILL GO THROUGH A MILLION INFERNOS FOR DOTTORE. A MILLION YEARS IS NOTHING IN THE PURSUIT OF MY ONE TRUE LOVE.

nothing can hold me back my love is stronger than that of the heavens and the hells

i love you dottroe !!! i love every single you!!!! you are my beautiful husband and I love you!! you are so smart and amazing and you are so aweaome!!! even thiugh other throw rocks at you I will shield u 💕😊😊😊😊💕💕🥰I will bear the pain of the stones for you my loev 😍😍😍😍🥰😍🥰😍😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍 bcuz I lov3 u!!!! You are my everything!!!!!! i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to grab that waist of yours and swing you around... I'll show everone ehy nobody messes with my kitten. I dont play around. I protect those I love. Dottore i love you!!!!!

i love you so mych u love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love yoi i l9g3 uou i love yeoue eioe eloeve uoeie ie leoev eyoi ieleieke ekoev eui e leove you I lobe you SO MUCH I LORV YOU SO MUCH IT WILL NEVRR FIT A WORD LIMIT NO MATTER HOW BIG!!!! MY LOVE ONLY GROWS EVERY DAY. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DOTTORE. YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

yippe!!!!!!!!! chicke abbudibcjodoonsoninxubbucjiwijind I love dotore we are so halpy and i like chicke!!!! we have 363 chickens and we are so happy tohether!!!! i live u dottore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dottore: I love you too Absol

me: *blushes and then we make out*

Yippe!!!!!!!!! :D I love dottore so much!!!!! Yippe!!!

I look at him like this with so much love and happiness in my eyes... I love u dottoreee....I will never stop loving you!!!!!!!!!! i will repeat it to the skies however many times I need to get my wish to come true. I love you dottore!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DOTTORE!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

[ohmyamor]

ateez as college bfs during finals

it's my finals week and head hurty but crazy form good hnngjdnjgnjdf

hongjoong

will help you study but only if you bribe him a little

it's not that he wants to see you fail

he definitely does not want that

but at the same time

you would most likely do just fine studying on your own

he has a sneaking suspicion you just want to bother him

it's not until you bring out the "I'll do whatever you want for the next two weeks" that he's quick to agree

would he use this promise to his advantage? absolutely

hongjoong would help you study but then once you pass (you'd definitely pass with his help), he'd be quick to make you buy him food or pass him the blanket that is literal inches away from him

if you want to pass, you could also guilt trip him into helping you study by saying you'll just go to your TA

who's a man..

your same age...

hongjoong is real quick to whip out the flash cards after that

unless you give him a hard time, then he'll personally take you to the TA's room himself

7/10- would help you study but is all the work he would make you do after worth it?

debatable

seonghwa

absolute king

would drop everything to help you in the blink of an eye

he's got the studying playlists on youtube

anything you want to listen to, he's got it

lofi? yup. asmr? check. dark academia aesthetic? absolutely

color coded notes, flashcards, practice quizzes up and running

can seem a bit overwhelming at first but seonghwa gives me the vibes that he would just know you so well

and therefore he would know what type of studying or work environment you thrive in

and you're his baby, he wants to see you succeed :((

if you ever get frustrated or overwhelmed, seonghwa would 100% have your favorite drink and snack ready

some coffee to stay awake? whatever u need, some tea to relax? bet, he's got the honey and everything

your number 1 hype man frfr

10/10 need him in my life

yunho

honestly, also really good to have around during finals

strikes me as the type of bf to kind of sit with you and also silently work alongside you so you don't feel lonely

does that thing when you're writing a paper or smth and you look up to think of the word you want to use and the two of you make eye contact and he'll send you a wink and a big smile

little motivations yaknow

would also definitely use the pomodoro method

has a timer on his phone for every 45 minutes and when the time is up he'll gently shut your computer and grab your hands and just chat

would be the best person to bounce ideas of off

"yuyu, should I say this or this?"

and he would give genuine feedback

if you need help studying for an exam, yunho might not know all the answers but you can bet he would be right there with you watching videos of people working out the problems

gives you little high fives when you both get it

9/10 might get occasionally distracted by his beautiful blinding smiles but honestly a pretty solid study partner

yeosang

mans is just there to vibe and honestly same

i dont wanna say he has absolutely no clue what's going on

because he does listen to you and he does pay attention when you talk about your classes

but at the same time, he doesn't really give me the vibes he would be as great at studying as some of the others

more there for moral and emotional support than anything

might feel bad he can't be of more help so he tries his best to listen to your lectures if you're at home, but man, it sounds like a different language somebody save him

would definitely make sure you're eating and resting well though

"sweetheart I think it's time to take a break"

"yeosang I just need to finish a few more problems :("

"you can do it after you eat something, it'll be easier to finish with a clear head and a full tummy"

crying screaming throwing up

would otherwise leave you to your devices tbh

doesn't want to distract you but also doesn't want you to be completely alone in case you forget to take care of yourself

8/10 man is doing his absolute best and we love him for it

san

honestly this could go one of two ways

he could either be the most serious, hella studious mf you've ever met

or he could be the most unserious, menacing bitch you've ever met

it all depends on his mood

serious san is in the mf ZONE

he's got the glasses on, he has his notes out, comfy sweater and gray sweats ON

ready to give you a mom look every time you get distracted

at one point you'd probably try to play footsies with him and he just kinda stares at you over the top of his glasses with one eyebrow raised and you just slowly return your gaze to your work

that being said

glasses ON, sweats ON, absolute fucking menace

teasing you fs

maybe not even like in a sexual manner, just tickling you and cracking stupid jokes because he wants your attention

WILL kiss your neck and tell you "you're so smart baby, you're going to pass no matter what"

your will power needs to be better than the lords because LORD

what san wants, san gets that's all imma say

5/10 you don't know what you're gonna get and it's scary

mingi

im tired of the mingi is dumb allegations

mans is smart as hell, not only in math but also the amount of lyrics and songs he helps to produce??

studious mingi is one hell of a study partner

it might be a little bit of a learning curve at first, especially if you're the type of person to want to chat or bounce your ideas off of someone while you're working

mingi gives me the vibes that he would be dead serious and focused while working

so it might be a little intimidating at first

you look up to ask a question and he's sitting there, eyebrows furrowed and fingers flying across the keyboard

and you're like damn i don't want to disturb him so you swallow your question and move your eyes back to your work

but mingi is also very observant, so he definitely notices that

"what's up baby?"

"mmmm nothing" you mumble, trying to figure out this particular problem

he'll shut his laptop off and scoot closer to you

wordlessly helps you figure out whatever it is you're working on before giving you a small kiss to your forehead and moving on

8/10 he can be the stem major to my humanities major

wooyoung

let's be fr, not the best study partner you could ask for

love wooyoung with all my heart but mans gets distracted easy as hell

has probably tried the pomodoro method but it just doesn't work for him

sitting for longer periods of times just makes him antsy yk

i get the feeling he'd be the type of person to get one of those moving desks that goes up and down and then puts a treadmill or smth under it because he needs to be moving or else he'll get very distracted

do NOT take this man to a cafe to work, he will do everything but study

especially with the people watching

"babe look at that guy over there, his shoelace is untied"

"that girl's shirt tag is sticking out, should I say something"

"the barista spilled that woman's drink"

if you're okay with background noise, it probably wouldn't be too bad....

until he starts wanting attention and now he's playing footsies with YOU

"woo, babe, I really need to finish this, it's due tomorrow"

"so you don't love me is what you're saying"

and now two hours have passed and you only have half of an assignment done

will buy you food and/or coffee to make up for it

"sorry for distracting you, you don't need a degree, your ass is great"

3/10

jongho

scary

scary studying man

has everything organized to a T, do NOT touch his notes unless you're okay with dealing with the 3 days of silent treatment afterwards

im jk

maybe...

no but fr, jongho takes studying seriously

if you ask him for help, he would probably be the best bet besides seonghwa or yunho

but this shit is like boot camp, okay? so be prepared

no fooling around on jongho's watch

you want to pass, guess what baby, you're gonna PASS

does that thing where if you're not getting something, he might not explain it to you, just re-asks the question louder

"what's 3 + 4?"

"6"

*sighs* "WHAT'S 3 + 4?!"

or might just stare at you blankly when you try to joke around

mans acts like he's training future CIA members or something

once you do finish studying he's back to regularly scheduled bear bf but studying??

only for the strongest soldiers

6/10

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[ihni]

Billy has learned to make himself seem like a manly-man. It's mostly been for survival, because Neil complained less when he was acting all macho, but he's grown into it. Wears it like armor.

So naturally, he refuses to use chapstick. Lip balm. Whatever. Because that's for girls, not boys. Not men, like Billy.

The thing is, though, that winter in Hawkins, Indiana is ... cold. Cold as fuck. And Billy's lips get chapped. Like, the hurty-flakey kinda chapped. He's pissed about it, too, because no one's gonna wanna kiss him with lips like that (and he's made it this far partly by being desirable).

Most importantly, Steve's not gonna wanna kiss him.

Steve's lips are always soft, and pink. Even in the bitter cold. But then again, Steve uses chapstick. He's shameless about it, too, doesn't hesitate to bring it out and reapply it even when there's other people around who can see. He even smacks his lips a little, after, and then smiles widely as if to test the softness of his lips.

If Billy smiled like that, his lips would crack and bleed.

Steve thinks he's being silly. "Come on," he says, "it's chapstick. It's not gonna kill you."

"It might," Billy murmurs and thinks of what would happen if Neil saw him put it on. Louder, he says (because the kids are close by, and they don't know about him and Steve yet), "Give it up, Harrington, I'm not a pussy. I can stand a little cold."

And it's not a lie. He can. He just wishes he didn't have to.

Steve smiles knowingly (and widely), and waits until the kids are otherwise occupied. Then he reapplies his chapstick again, and then pulls Billy around a corner and kisses him, right on the mouth. Chapped lips and all.

It's not until Steve backs away and smacks his lips, that Billy realizes that a) he'd closed his eyes and b) there is now chapstick on his lips, too. And it doesn't feel all that bad. Feels pretty good, actually.

He looks at Steve. "You sneaky bitch."

Steve just smiles and backs back out in sight of the kids. "Hey, if the mountain won't come to Muhammad" ... He throws something at Billy, who catches it out of instinct.

It's chapstick. Of course.

When Billy looks up, Steve wags his eyebrows and makes a kissy face, a challenging glint in his eyes. "If you don't like it, you can always give it back."

[angelltheninth]

Flirt prompt 80 with Chifuyu Matsuno?

The hurty-hurty man! He could always use some fluff.

Pairing: Chifuyu Matsuno x Reader

Tags: fluff, established relationship, gift giving, kiss, mentioned fights, injuries

A/N: Prompt is from this list.

80. I saw this and thought of you, so I had to get it.

Having a delinquent and gang member as a boyfriend came with a lot of challenges that other relationships didn't, you knew that'd be the case when you satarted dating Chifuyu

Bruises, calls from the hospital, kissing his injuries better were all things you expected

What was unexpected was him showing up at your door the day before anniversary, bloody and bruised and holding an equally bloody necklace, grinning

"I can explain this perfectly." Sure he can, he always had an excuse, "You know that money I told you I was sawing up. It was for this." He jingled the necklace in his hand, "I saw it and thought of you, so I had to get it. It looks prettier when it's clean, I swear."

So does his handsome face

You sat him down in the living room and started cleaning him up, only getting slight hissed when you pressed too hard

Him getting you a gift didn't explain why he was so beat up though

Now he was a little shy, pulling his hood up to hide, "This other guy also had his eye on it. Said he needed it to make up his girlfriend or whatever. But I was already paying for it and told him to fuck off. Since he was such a dick it was a wonder he didn't know how to use his. He... didn't like that." Chifuyu leaned back against the couch and looked the necklace, then back at you when you laughed

The picture was starting to clear up, much like his face, although the bruises were far too many for him fighting just one guy

"Oh no, there were a few. Jumped me outside of the store, fucking cowards. I sure hope their girlfriends like guys with broken faces." He wiggled his eyebrows at you, knowing that you still liked to look at him, no matter how many times he got into fights

He jumped up and rushed into the kitchen, "Hold on, bet you're gonna forgive me when you see how pretty this is." The blood was cleaned off quickly, but he did almost drop the necklace down the drain in the process, "I got it! Okay, look, a pretty necklace for an even prettier girl."

It wasn't anything special, a simple design, a white rose with thorns on a silver chain, but it was something Chifuyu wanted for you, something that reminded him of you

You would never say no to a gift from him

You turned around, you wanted him to put it on you

"So that mean you forgive me?" He asked with a hopeful look and smile, "I can sweeten the deal with a kiss."

Now he was talking, that was an acceptable deal

It was a but painful for him because of his split lip but he pushed forward anyway and used the necklace to tug you closer, deepening said kiss

Ah, so he had an ulterior motive

[trick-of-the-troubles]

im pretty sure I've been in an hEDS flare up for the past few days and man it is not fun

EVEN MORE joint hurty and shifty out of place, also just my bones in general hurt, what's that about bro

it's been lining up so perfectly with the once in a blue moon motivation I get, too, so I'm motivated to be productive for once while my body seems to have the opposite plans

anyway, yeah, incoherent screaming or. something. I'm not actually too bothered about it lmao

[1whump-dump1]

Elite - Season 4 Episode 4. (Part 1.) (Part 2 here.)

[icharchivist]

I won't let y'all sleep on Seofon any longer

My man is hilarious as f*ck and super skilled with his swords

Also he's hot

But genuinely, get you a man who can go from "I ate all your leftover porridge and now my tummy hurty :'(" to killing God

I love characters who go from comic relief to being stupidly powerful, it is so funny to me

Also jk the fact that he's canonically the strongest sword fighter and everyone still kinda bullies him just adds to the comedy tbh

You think he's some loser because nobody takes him seriously and then he slays absolute p*ssy and all you can say is "ayo" because your jaw is on the floor

aMKDJFMLDKFLMKDFLMFD

HE IS AMAZING THOUGH I LOVE HIM

He's hilarious, the guy truly has the greatest range of all time in term of being silly to being the most terrifying motherfucker on that ship.

I also think what i really love is that he DOES act silly and that's why no one takes him seriously most of the time, he makes bad puns, he seemingly focus on the wrong thing at the wrong time, he's like "woopsies i'm so silly :3c" and so it means people, in general, wouldn't take him seriously.

And this is the most dangerous thing someone as dangerous as Seofon can make you believe: that you shouldn't take him seriously.

like honestly i could say it's pretty calculated, and i feel like, to some extend it is. Seofon does want you to underestimate him, it makes it easier for him to scheme and figure out how to approach dangerous situations.

but tbh i also feel like he's at a point where he can be so comfortable around the Eternals and the crew that he also let the guard down and he's silly just because sometimes the guy is just silly.

Like him talking about the pudding was him being silly, not him playing 5D Chess.

But he's a man who is always ready to be playing 5D Chess with his opponants. And he knows that the Alter!Seofon we met makes sense because he knows deep down, that he can be this ruthless, that he can be this cold and detached, he just happened to find how to anchor himself in a state of life that doesn't ask of him to be that.

He's a really cool character to watch because he'll constantly act like a loser and people (Feower/Tien/Seox especially) will treat him like a loser, and he'll take the L because sure, he'll let them bully him, but it's like a big sibling who's like 10x times the size of his kid siblings pretending that he's collapsing when his siblings are fighting him because "nooo you're too stroooong how could i deal with any of youuu".

He's so neat, i love him.

[bigolgay]

Happy new years

Nervous rambling below

I think I’m a slut

Actually I know I am

First I kiss Harley at midnight (a surprisingly good kisser… for a man. Not a fan of the stubble tho, that’s not fun). Gotta kiss the homies💪💪💪

THEN PRETTY GIRL FLIRTS WITH ME AS I COME OUT OF THE TOILET.

FIND OUT PRETTY GIRL WAS IN THE YEAR ABOVE ME IN PRIMARY SCHOOL.

THEN WE FRICK.

IDK WHAT DO NOW.

IVE MESSAGED HARLEY BUT HE HASNT RESPONDED.

HE DROVE ME HERE.

Actually now I think about it he’s probably downstairs, omg okay maybe I’m safe. He can take me home in the morning. I thought I was stranded.

Anyway. Im just laying on the bed in the spare room (I didn’t frick pretty girl in it worry not. That’s fucked up.) while pretty girl is sleeping.

BUT I CANT SLEEP BECAUSE IM A SLUT. AND AM FEELKNG THE GUILT.

Also my already hurty back is hurty much worse now (don’t read to far into that). I am now sober as well so I haven’t got alcohol as a pain reliever. I could sneak downstairs and see if there’s any alcohol left but also I don’t wanna still be drunk in the morning.

ALSO I DONT WANNA BE A DICK AND SMASH AND DASH. NUT AND BOLT. HIT IT AND QUIT IT. One hit wonder? Wait stop I’m trying not to giggle and wake her up.

My original plans for tonight was to get drunk and watch my mum and stepdad get stoned and then when they go to bed play some gta online because lols.

But then FUCKING HARLEY IS LIKE “hey guess what? (Name of person here) is throwing a house party for new years and I miss you so much because you’re the most magical human being ever and I love you endlessly, so please please please come with me and grace me with your presence🙏” I might’ve paraphrased slightly, but that was basically what he said.

And I’m a good girl and turn to my mum and go “pls let me go house party I’ll be good gorl and not cause any trouble or come stumbling into the house at ridiculous time.” And she said “👍”.

AND THEN I GO AND FRICK SOMEONE. I LIED MUM I SORRY I CAUSE TROUBLE.

Although I’m an adult and she totally won’t care right? Who I spend my time with is none of her business. Ahhhhh guys I’m actually secretly a lil baby and sososo shy and I’m just a silly little guy.

Omg it’s only been 15 minutes??? I’m running out of things to do now. Like what else am I to say???? I mean it’s 6am… I could totally just go downstairs and make food or something.

OMG SHE JUST SCARED THE POOP OUT OF ME SHE JUST STARTED TALKING IN HER SLEEP.

I wonder where Harley is. I think he’s in the garage? Although it’s cold as balls in there, but they were all playing never have I ever in there last I checked… which… was like… 5 and a half hours ago?

My new years celebrations are usually so tame wtf.

Okay… I took a minute (several minutes) to think. I’m freaking out for no reason. We fricked. That’s fine and cool. We both consenting adults. I’m an adult. Mum isn’t the boss of me. I’ve had sex before. Oh god has she had sex before?? I mean probably. I’ve never done a proper one nightstand before guys. Non committal sex? Oh baby that’s the closest I’ve ever had to romantic affection in my life. But I’ve always sort of known them beforehand. But this is fine. New experience!!! Okay I’m calmer now. Should I sleep? I guess I should probably try and sleep.

Okay, ramblings concluded. I’m not nervous anymore. See? Sometimes I just need to write my thoughts down so I can look at them and rationalise them. Goodnight I guess…

[bukvarsbitch]

happy 25 songs of paul f. days!

day 4: "what kind of problems (does an irish cart tart have?)" from the final off book (#52)

i love this song so much; i also forgot how iconic melissabeth is after this one, so go give it a listen if you haven't. this song features an iconic thing in musical improv that makes me laugh every time: two people trying to sing the same thing at the same time without having a clear idea what the other one's doing, just a general one. also, the entire fucking witch sequence is so out of no where but i adore it. this is the last song from this episode, but if you haven't listened, i'd recommend it, especially if you've listened to the year before this ep (and even if you haven't!).

fav bits!

"tAHP of the morning to yA! it's me: caHRL tart!"

*cup rattle* "i'm sorry i fell down!"

"as long as we've known you, you've been an irish man. that's what this timeline has" "ahh tis true, tis true" *wheezing*

"i just like to go on scott's show and talk about the troubles"

the troubles irish cart has: sometimes, he doesn't want to get out of bed; sometimes, he gets an ache inside of his head; sometimes, he sees his shoe's untied; and sometimes, his dear old mother has died

"i'll tEHL you some mORE of my trAHBLES"

some more troubles irish carl tart has: sometimes, his dry cleaning is late; sometimes, he's broken his favorite plate; sometimes, he's fell into a ditch; and sometimes, he's been cursed by a witch

"tis a sad tale.. i wAS WALKING" and the entire witch scene

"i saw a witch and thought, all right"

jess' weird little into the woods-esque witch of irish carl tart <3

"you are cursed forevermore— that you can't go inside a sneaker store!"

"that's me sAD story"

"paul f. tompkins— notable zoo keeper"

"i don't know, there's no chorus, so it really doesn't feel like something you're interested in"

"what kind of troubles does a zookeeper paul f. tompkins have" at the same time as "does a zookeeper pft have" and how it takes zach and jess like three times to realize that one of them should wait

the troubles zoo keeper pft has: the monkeys often won't stay off the rails; it's often hard to get the penguins into the tophand tails; sometimes, he just feels like he needs a break; and, sometimes, he's gotta go and find a snake

"they're not a problem for everyone!" "no?" "i'm irish"

the troubles firefighter eliza has (except for fire): it can get pretty hot because of her, but not (not not) because of her fire; sometimes she just wants to shout "help me!"

"i feel like you're more self-sufficient than that eliza" "that's what people think, but it's not true!"

the troubles ghost podcast scott has: he has to dig up graves; his hands get really hurty; he's super super dirty; the bones smell bad; he's got a weird relationship with his ghost dad (not bill cosby! a different one!)

"but we have these guests in a line; and now i think we're out of time. forthisfirsthalf" *laughter*

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost

(...but I am very very lost.) - [2]

Kazuha and GN!Reader

CW: Implied injury

A/N: The crack continues...

-------

“.....up”

“........se....et...up.”

“......ear me?”

“Uugghhh...” You groan at your sleep being disturbed by something prodding your face. Blinking at the warm light flickering on the cave’s ceiling, you squint.

Yep that’s not the ceiling of your room, or the living room, not even the bathroom ceiling. You’d recognize the nasty ceiling popcorn anywhere, and this is not it.

“Ah you’re finally awake.” A soothing voice from beside you says. You turn your groggy eyes towards them and squint, you have the distinct idea that you might be making the exact expression of a meme you saw a while back. But at least they seem unbothered by it moving closer to give you a better view of them.

And when you do, you realize it’s Kazuha again. It looks like this dream continues and honestly you’re not complaining. You feel rather blessed right now considering you feel like you tried to hit a car and lost.

...Wait.

Kazuha. Pretty.

Genshin. Game.

Dream. Lucid.

Arm. Hurty.

Oh he’s speaking again.

Things start clicking in your head but you start to panic at the realization. You hope that’s not what happened, you seriously hope good ‘ol Truck-kun did not try to come take your life.

You’re room isn’t even remotely close to any street...at least you think so? Not to sure...your brain feels scrambled. Like eggs.

But you can’t really focus on the words too distracted by the way his hair halos his face. You feel like a whole creature next to this world wonder of a man.

“-is that alright?” Oh crap what was he saying?!Quick say something!

“You’re very pretty.”

The only sound that echoes through the cave is the sound of the crackling fire. But internally you hear the sound of a hand slapping your mental forehead. You start to panic again but Kazuha begins to smile.

Nailed it.

[joyful-soul-collector]

My Edits

Steven

Steven killed people?

Steven Serves Cunt

cmon babygirl you got this

Veggies

I also wonder what it’s like...

Oh he’s killed people?

Is a man truly hot

Everything in the world is overwhelming

Guy who hasn’t eaten today

Fine looking man!!

Stimuli

Marc

Marc is #1 in PTSD

Moon Knight in shining armor, please save me from Head Hurty

Marc is Edgy and Autistic

Happy as a clam

Marc Serves Cunt

Sprawled on cathedral steps

Marc is not in the mood for everything

Khonshu’s specialest boy

Most importantly he’s bisexual 

He’s bleeding and sad and wet but his tits look spectacular

 Typical

Woah buddy!

I recently had a thought

Wet dog of a man

Brunette Man Disorder

Unholy thoughts

Jake

Jake Serves Cunt

All crime should be legal for me

I want more

My special guy

Layla

Layla how the fuck are you that pretty

Multiple Characters

lol MK system ded

Steven and Marc: They might be doomed to die tragically but they’ve got great tits

Masters, PhD, License: silly funny collab with @copingchaos and @my-secret-shame 

They’re my baby boys

We recommend you be two people for easier assembly

MK system is literally autistic

Yes they’re cunts

They’ve captivated me

You really miss Pangea

Are you a fitted sheet?

Emo sigh

[demenior]

Saw a FB post going around this morning for a missing bernese dog near my home, so raced home after work to jump in and try to help the family cause the big sweet boy hadn't been spotted for a few hours. Sister and I were the ones to find the boy, but it wasn't the happy ending we were all hoping for.

Feeling pretty heart hurty. We wrapped the boy up in a nice blanket and waited for the family to collect him. Fuckin rough to watch from the outside.

Sure it's life. And life goes on. But also. Man... I was really hoping to send that dog home in a happier story.