#pretty sure it’s weather related (see aforementioned Fucking Storm)

[zjofierose]

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[sunshinejihyun]

Fire Escape Nights || Saeran Choi

Summary: Saeran isn’t a many of speaking many words, but he does write them down Word Count: 1.4K

Masterlist

Saeran’s journal was something everyone knew not to touch. When he first got out of the Mint Eye, he saved up for a nice, leather bound 200 page blank book and once he got it, he kept it with him everywhere. No one knew what he was writing, but they always knew not to disturb him.

Some of the RFA speculated he was writing a book. Zen was sure that Saeran was keeping a hit list and writing down everyone who’s done him wrong, complete with a full plan to murder the aforementioned people. Even Jumin theorized that his journal was where he wrote down a list of days that was important to him. So it may come to a shock that all that was in his notebook was tons of letters dedicated to you. Letters that, if they were ever to be shown to you, would cause Saeran to up and leave South Korea in shame.

Hypothetically, you were the one person that Saeran could tell everything to, but in reality, the only time Saeran was able to talk to you was when Jumin wasn’t around, afraid that he would accidentally say something to you that made Jumin catch on to the fact that Saeran was absolutely captivated by you.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened. Saeran had seen you hanging around Jumin a few times, not really paying much attention because he thought you might have been with the aforementioned, but that changed when Jumin brought you back to the next RFA party. Jumin introduced you as his younger sibling and no one seemed to take notice of the light pink dusting your cheeks or the way that when all eyes were on you, you’d scratch your nose as a nervous tick. Saeran did, and that’s the night he started writing. At first, the messages were innocent; he felt that he knew you enough to be able to talk to you about his day and what he hoped to do when he finally started to get better, but he also knew he didn’t know enough to really have anything turn personal. Of course, those thoughts were foiled when Saeran got to know you more, the messages turned into soliloquies of unrequited love and things he noticed about you that you wouldn’t think anyone would ever observe.

Saeran promised himself he wouldn’t fall in love, let alone fall in love with someone related to the RFA, an organization he was trained to hate for the longest time. However, here he was, sitting and writing about how in love he was with you every single night.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” You asked, running your long fingers through your hair.

You and Saeran were sitting on the fire escape of the rented house you stayed in with some other students from the school you were attending. Both Jumin and your father insisted you didn’t have to live this way, but you wanted to; getting a proper university experience was something you wanted to do by yourself, no help.

“Yeah, sorry. Just distracted tonight.” Saeran replied, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.

You bumped your knee against his and Saeran’s heart fluttered at the contact. “You sure you’re not just tired? It’s,” you paused, turning to look at the clock kept near the window you access the fire escape from. “It’s almost 4am.”

“I couldn’t be more wide awake,” Saeran replied honestly, not taking his eyes off of where your knee was still touching his. “But you should go to sleep.”

You sighed, leaning back against your hands, sending a lazy smile towards the boy who sat with you almost every night. “Yeah, but if I go to sleep, what are you gonna do?”

The first night Saeran spotted you sitting on your fire escape was when he and Saeyoung got in a fight and he stormed out, searching for the solace that only midnight air could bring him. When you saw him, you called him up and if it were anyone else, he would have refused; but it was you, the person who he wrote letters to so, he scaled the side ladders and sat down next to you, indulging in easy conversation. You and Saeran quickly bonded over the fact that neither of you slept well, opting for maybe an hour or two of sleep in favor of staying up and talking, or some nights, cramming for a test you had the next day. Saeran’s favorite part of the day was walking to your apartment across town after dinner time and finding you waiting for him, a blanket wrapped around your shoulders, no matter the weather.

“I could do stuff. Journal. Maybe even learn to draw.” Saeran sighed out, reaching subconsciously towards his left jacket pocket where his journal was sitting snug.

You let out a breath and turned to Saeran. “Seriously, what is on your mind tonight? It’s like you’re here but you’re also a million miles away.” You grabbed his rough hands in your soft ones and he felt his resolve melt softly. “I know you well enough to know when there’s something wrong. So what is it?”

Saeran stayed quiet, letting the outcomes of actually telling you how he felt run through his mind. You could hate him. Or you could pity him. Or a ton of other options where it would leave him heartbroken. But there was one outcome that had Saeran wanting so badly to tell you what was going on: you could maybe feel the same way.

“I promised myself I would never fall in love with you.” Saeran started and you opened your mouth to reply but he stopped you by holding a hand up. “You’re my brother’s friend’s sister, for goodness sake. But we’re sitting and laughing on a fire escape at 4 in the morning every single morning and I can’t help thinking that I am totally fucked.” Saeran let out a sigh and went to stand up, pulling out his journal. “I want you to have this. I’m gonna go for right now and leave you to process.” He started climbing down the fire escape but stopped at the last minute. “If you want want to talk to me after this, be here at your normal time. Otherwise, just leave the journal in your normal place.”

You sat there, playing with the frayed edge of the journal, not looking up to meet Saeran’s eyes, no matter how hard he tried and he sighed, shaking his head and making his way back to the house he’s learned to call home.

That next morning, Saeran felt sluggish and Saeyoung knew. He didn’t bother him, or tease him, opting to leave him alone. There were whispers on the phone, most likely about him and the fact that he was sitting in solitude without his journal.

He didn’t want to leave his bedroom but his stomach was rumbling and he was pretty sure that Saeyoung was out, doing whatever he does when he was gone. So when he walked to the kitchen and found you sitting at the table, an uneaten sandwich laid out next to you and as Saeran approached, you quietly offered it to him.

He silently took it, watching you as you pulled out his journal and handed it to him. “I added something new in there.”

Curiously, Saeran opened to the new bookmarked page and he almost couldn’t believe what he was reading as the title of that page. “Two insomniacs fall in love.”

“I’m not a writer like you, but I wanted to start the next part together.” You admitted, pushing hair that fell out of your pony tail to the side.

Saeran set down the sandwich stepped closer to you, his hand wrapping gently around your waist. “You really mean that?” The small smile on Saeran’s face was slowly creeping towards being a huge smile and when you nodded Saeran didn’t hesitate to lean in and press a small kiss to your lips.

“Jumin’s gonna kill you,” Saeyoung called from the doorway, dropping cans of PhD. Pepper on the floor and making you giggle and kiss the worry away from Saeran’s cheeks.

“Don’t worry, he’ll have to get through me to get to you.” You stepped away from Saeran and sighed. “I have to get back to class. I was just on a lunch break, I’ll see you later.”

It wasn’t a question. Saeran and you both knew that no matter what Jumin will say or do when Saeyoung tells him what’s going on between Saeran and his younger sibling, that Saeran will be on that fire escape by 10 o’clock at night, ready to hold you in his arms until the sun starts to rise.