#pretty vulgar

[busybuyingblush]

Pretty Vulgar Early Bird

[the-caged-jester]

*Felix is in the kitchen, waiting for a pie to finish baking. When the timer goes off, he turns off the oven and opens it, forgetting oven mitts. He, of course, burns himself.*

"Ow- fuck! hot, hot, hot-"

*Felix jumps back, just kind of haphazardly dropping the pie on the counter and making sure it took no damage. He hisses and just shakes his hands to try to make the pain go away, before putting his hands in his pockets.*

(- @the-raven-draconic )

(Felix swear count; 3(?))

(behold, Felix not caring much about his health)

*Nikolai heard the commotion and quickly came over, just as Felix put his hands in his pockets, very confused.*

“You okay?”

[save-the-villainous-cat]

mother im hungry for some angst and horny , may i ask for a hero x villain where they both hate each other but end up having hate sex after a real bad argument 🥺🙏

The hero remembered that one time when the villain broke their collarbone. They had just broken into a museum, stealing expensive vases and ancient relics, making it infuriatingly difficult to get them back on the black market.

The hero had arrived at the scene of the crime before anyone else, just in time to catch the villain. But as the villain prepared to flee, they cracked the hero’s collarbone into two with a steel pipe. Smirking, they’d blown the hero a kiss. A present for you.

It had hurt like hell. The hero had been unable to move for weeks, being practically useless to the agency. Christ, they still had problems with their shoulder at times. Too much exercise, too little exercise: it was a nasty pain that didn’t quite leave them.

And right now, the villain sucked the third hickey into the hero’s skin, right there where they had done the damage.

The hero cursed quietly, hating and loving how much it hurt.

“Asshole,” the hero hissed.

“Did you say something?” The villain’s voice was low, still angry and already a little drunk on pleasure. It had started out with both of them hooking up when they were drunk. The hero had suggested it and the villain had been much too happy to use that opportunity. It had been messy and quick (and good). A one time thing.

But that was really it.

For a week, until it became a little routine. No feelings involved, except for hatred.

And when opinions clashed against each other and insults were thrown into the air today, the hero needed something to calm down. Apparently this helped both of them.

“I hate you,” the hero said, despite the villain being inside them. “You disgust me.”

“Oh, boohoo. Is someone sad they’re not getting what they want? Poor hero, must be terrible.”

“Fuck off,” the hero said, pushing the villain’s face away with their hand. “I’ve been working for weeks on this mission. You have no right to—”

The villain pinned their wrists above their head and shut the hero up with a kiss. It was quite counterproductive, the hero was aware of that. It wasn’t healthy either but it was all the hero had. Sometimes being close to someone, anyone, at all costs was worth a broken heart. Just a little.

The villain pulled away, panting heavily.

“I thought we’re over this. I like you. But you’re not more important than my work.”

Ouch. The hero swallowed, thinking what desperate part of their brain had made them hope they could be more than enemies.

They knew the villain would smash they collarbone anytime without batting an eye and maybe it was good the way that it was.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” the villain said. “We’re both enjoying this, let’s not ruin it.”

The hero took in a shaky breath. Yes, they agreed. They enjoyed this, they enjoyed the villain’s company. It made them want to punch the villain even more.

“Now be a doll and spread your legs a little more,” the villain mumbled.

And the hero hated how fast they forgave them.

[silkoodles]

my plans for tonight fell thru so i just stayed home and drew a dumb aftermath for this joke. Mime and PS are just crashing at their place.

[hajihiko]

i love the thought of fuyuhiko being multilingual, what other languages do you think he'd speak?

Italian, French, Thai, Mandarin, Russian and Spanish is what I thought of. And ofc Japanese and English.

[mars-ipan]

so we all saw @dr2-hell's updated bunnymaeda design right. because i sure as hell did

[alluralater]

naur lex is awful, i hate it

[mikahorror]

i made a really silly joke that was so immature because i was just trying to make the writing process more fun....🫢 then i realized i sent my story to an alpha reader before i took the joke out

if his feedback roasts me for that, deserved honestly lol

[chicago-geniza]

I know they're serious but sometimes the antisemitic press attacks on Stefania were very funny. One called her "Stefania" Zahorska. Like they put her first name in scare quotes, as though that were the one she changed. Stefania is literally her middle name Assigned At Birth, which she'd been going by from a very young age. Meanwhile the Kraków Zionist press is always calling her "Pani Zahorska--to jest, Leser," which is MORE antisemitic

[attichoney4u]

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Isaac: *being mean to Victor for no good reason*

Wren: Hey, what are you doing?! Stop it, now!

Bella: Such rudeness was unnecessary. What's the point of this?

Myra: Isaac, you're not as heartless as you want to appear, I know you have a good heart...

Rain: *a stern look* Only cowards bully the helpless.

Shiro: If you don't want to communicate, just say so, why call names?

May: And why am I not surprised that he would be so tactless? You can't stop being a bitch for one day, huh?

Ziana: T-That was very rude of you, Mr. Isaac!

Elisa: How d a r e you say that to Victor!?

Julian: *with a steel voice* Is it so hard to be patient with each other? There's no need to take your negativity out on others.

Skylar: And you think this is the behavior of an adventurer? You should be ashamed of yourself!

Bo: *with a magical flame in hands* You done did it now, bitch.

Hestia: *Transforms into a dragon form, ready to vaporize Isaac*

Isaac: *realizes his fatal mistake*

Marley: Phah, you're screwed, my friend. Like, completely fucked.

[deva-arts]

Typical Vincent to use the few Spanish words he learned from Amon for evil.

Sonia doesn't know whether to be upset, offended, or disappointed.

Here's Vincent's shirt as a bonus:

[birdhemoth]

what the sex

[musicmags]

[loaflovesdoodling]

For some reason I had the thought that since Ades is immortal, he’d say slang that literally nobody knows about nowadays and then be confused as to why nobody knows what he’s saying.

HELP CANON HE JUST STARTS INSULTING PEOPLE IN ANCIENT ROMAN SLANG AND THE OTHERS ARE JUST FLABBERGASTED HELP

[stormbreaker-290]

Friends are just platonic lovers >;3/silly

Help my brainrot is getting worse

Ehgehehe well technically yes XD

I mean if we can platonically snuggle why can't we platonically bang-/J/J/J/J/-