#professional clown

[knickknacksplayhouse]

POV: you slipped on the banana peel!

[clown-culture]

I have polls now 😎 time to Clown Polling

[pandasaurio-espacial]

Loid: this family is only for the mission

Also Loid, when Yor gives him literal poison:

[clowngiirl]

My friend took my pics and this is the one I love most🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[getaway-car-taylors-version]

me for the next 5 shows

[honeyglot]

get it here

[shadow-and-purgatory]

Oath Of Clown Paladin, Bell Bramst! (she's also an aberrant mind sorcerer but like. that's not her career yk)

She's such a cutie, and I'd LOVE to play her someday :)

[clownery-blog]

[funninosedaclown]

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

[tooquirkytolose]

Everyone's afraid of clowns but I think you have to understand what context they're in matters, for your own health and safety,like, for example:

Clowns at a circus/fair/carnival- this is their natural habitat, they are happy and content. As long as you keep a respectful distance you're completely safe

Clowns at a birthday party/rodeo- off leash but highly trained and disciplined, their trainer is nearby for emergencies. They have been bred for close contact and even enjoy interaction with people

Clowns at a store grand opening- this is a concrete zoo for them. For your own safety do not approach too quickly or they might startle and lash out

If you do see a clown in the wild, stop, and back away slowly. If the clown begins making balloon animals be prepared to fight, you cannot run, they are much quicker than you and WILL catch up. A quick strike to the nose should be enough to subdue them. In the event of a clown bite seek medical care immediately, as symptoms will begin setting in quickly.

If you have not sought a medical professional within 24 hours of the bite, the changes will be permanent. In a case like this, trained professionals will escort you to the nearest clown College where you will be accepted into the fold. But this is a worse case scenario, and only about 10% of clown bites have this outcome :)

[knickknacksplayhouse]

[clown-culture]

Got some fresh makeup in the mail! Trying proper greasepaint for the first time <:0)

[somelazyassartist]

Thistle's backstory is really funny actually. Like the king says "I want an experienced Elven lord-in-waiting because Elves are Cool and I want to be Cool". And everybody else is like hell the fuck no you're absolutely not getting that you will 1000000000% die. Here's an autistic 4 year old we found instead. No we will not elaborate on how or where we got them but they can play the flute and do a silly little dance. And after about 2 minutes of being angry the king immediately switches to "fuck yes free son this is awesome" and still nobody acknowledges literally ever that this is just some random baby with a flute who now lives in their house forever

[3-aem]

im going on a mini hiatus 😭

[getaway-car-taylors-version]

enough of the double album theories. i present to you the quadruple album theory! on april 19 taylor swift will release ttpd, rep tv, debut tv, and ts12!!!!!! (clowning level: nuclear)