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alrightberries · 4 years

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Hi! So like what if Levi & F!Reader are like cuddling, and Levi over slept (maybe misses a meetings?) and Eren and his squad have to go find him and they see Reader and Levi all cuddly and stuffs. AND THEN Levi become super pissed bc they went into his quarters without permission and blah blah blah (you can decide the rest lolll) basically crack, fluff and humor lol. Please& thank uuu

the short end of the stick

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 3.3k

❈ summary: In which the 104th cadets were not prepared to find out that the terrifying and ever-intimidating Captain Levi... is a little spoon.

❈ trigger warnings: implied sex. brief mentions of blood and death. profanity

a/n: i made the reader gender neutral, hope y’all don’t mind. i had too much fun writing this and got kinda carried away. this is my first request ever and i’m glad that i finished it. enjoy!

Eren was shaking.

Sweat dripped down his forehead and his knuckles turned white from how hard he was clenching his fists, nails piercing his skin so harshly he swore it would draw blood. His heart angrily pumped inside his chest, every beat so strong he nearly anticipated for it to jump out of his ribcage at any given moment.

Fear.

He felt fear.

He puts a name to the feeling and it doesn’t make him feel any better. Ears ringing, lungs breathing rapidly as he tries to steady his fear-induced heart. He was hyperventilating. His eyebrows crease from his anxiousness and he feels his knees weaken, daring to give out beneath him. Was he actually shaking right now? He couldn’t even tell.

Vulnerable.

He felt vulnerable.

Eren had seen many horrors throughout his short lifetime. He saw the colossal titan rear its ugly head over Wall Maria as its foot smashed into the wall’s gates, debris flying throughout the district as a boulder crushed his home with his mother still inside. He saw his mother get snapped in half and eaten by a titan right before his very eyes at a tender age as he sat by and could do nothing but watch.

He was orphaned. Forced to grow up too soon, too fast just so he could say he survived. His entire district was left homeless, forced to become refugees as titans rampaged throughout the outer walls, forced plow the fields to combat the famine and hunger, forced to have 250,000 people go on what was essentually a suicide mission to appease the growing population.

He trained in the military. He trained for three gruesome years and had his physical and mental psyche crushed into dust beneath the boots of the commanding officer, only to be thrown into a battle—completely unprepared— with the titans once more before he could even graduate.

He saw his friends, his family, his brothers and sisters in arms get eaten. Killed. Murdered. Swatted away like flies by the very beasts he swore he’d kill.

And yet, nothing could prepare him for this.

Nothing could prepare him for the blood-pumping, adrenaline-induced terror at the mere thought of having to carry out his mission.

Nothing could prepare him for having to wake up Captain Levi from his nap.

Jean groaned. “Dammit, just fucking do it already.”

Eren is snapped out of his reverie, suddenly reminded that he wasn’t alone. His fellow soldiers stood behind him.

“Well if you’re so brave then why don’t you do it, horse-face?” He grits back, turning around and clenching his fists at his side.

He glimpses around the hallway and his eyes loom over his teammates’ amused faces, each painted with a shit-eating grin. Everyone was relieved that they weren’t the ones tagged with waking up the Captain from his nap.

Rumor around the base is, the last person from his original squadron (may they rest in peace) who had to wake up Captain Levi almost had his ear sliced off. Levi wasn’t even carrying any gear or anywhere near a knife.

One look at Mikasa told Eren that even she was glad she didn’t get picked for this task, and he shudders at the thought of being the poor bastard who had to lose his ear just so the Captain wouldn’t be late for his meeting. He quite liked having both of his ears attached to his head, thank you very much.

“It’s your task.”

“Yeah but why is it my task?!”

“Because you drew the short end of the stick, genius.” Jean replies easily.

Oh. Right.

“There has to be something we can do! Another plan. One that doesn’t involve waking up Captain Levi.” His eyes are pleading as he looks at his fellow soldiers, yet none of them seem willing to switch places with him.

Dammit. They were really going to make him work for it.

All his dignity is thrown out the window as Eren quickly gets on his knees and starts begging his friends, the shit-eating grins on their faces turning into wicked smiles as they watch him beg for mercy.

“Mikasa? What about you? Are you seriously going to let them send me to my death?” He asks, but Mikasa simply turns her head the other way as she speaks.

“He won’t kill you. Just sever your ear.”

Eren’s eye twitches.

She looks at him once more. “I’ll pick up your ear and ask the medical unit to sew it back on you. I’m sure they’ll understand.”

As proof, she holds up a glass jar and some tweezers. She had gloves on her hands.

God, he was going to kill his teammates.

Jean, apparently fed up with Eren’s incessant whining, marches towards him and grabs him by the collar, forcing him to stand up.

“Yeager, you trained in the military for three years. You’re a goddam titan shifter. You got kidnapped and held hostage. Three times. Waking up a growth-stunted man won’t be the last of you.”

Jean’s words are reassuring but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. No, his eyes are still amused. Very amused.

Scratch that, he wasn’t going to kill all his comrades. Just Jean. Jean and his extremely punchable horse-face.

Before he could even reply, Eren is shoved inside the Captain’s office with a quick “Off you go!” and the door is quickly shut behind him.

Fear.

This was truly fear.

Captain Levi’s office is empty, Eren notices. It’s spotless as always and tall shelves line every wall, each filled to the brim with books and documents. A lone door sits at the far right wall.

The Captain’s bedroom.

Slowly, with bathed breaths, he forces his legs to walk closer to the door that held his fate. Briefly, Eren thinks about getting some protective ear covers (just in case) but he quickly shoves that idea aside when he realizes that Jean and Conny were likely blocking the door from the outside.

That, and he concludes that the Captain would just break another part of his body. Maybe his hands. He didn’t need ears for handling ODM gear but he did need his hands.

“Captain?” Eren’s voice is weak but clear as he knocks on the door. “Captain Levi, you’re late for your meeting.”

He holds his breath for a few seconds, and there’s no response. He tries once more.

“Captain,” he repeats, louder this time. “Captain, you really need to wake up. Commander Erwin says your attendance is required for the meeting to start.”

But there’s still no response.

His hands are shaky and he’s still extremely nervous, but he knew Captain Levi’s presence was urgent to the meeting. Classified, Commander Erwin had said when he asked what it was about.

The third time Eren repeats his fruitless endeavors, he realizes that Captain Levi really wasn’t waking up any time soon.

He runs back to the door he came in from.

“Let me out!” He yells, hands throttling the doorknob as he tries to pull the door open but just as he suspected, Jean and Conny are sealing the exit and pulling at the doorknob as well.

“Let me out, dammit! Captain Levi won’t wake up, I don’t wanna die— just let me out!”

His feet are pressed up against the wall at this point and he manages to yank the door open by a few mere inches. A quick glimpse outside confirms his worse fears: all his friends are holding onto the doorknob as well, trying to keep the door closed. Even Mikasa.

He’d never felt so betrayed.

“You got this Eren!” His eyes drift to the back of the group where Sasha was smiling at him with a cheeky grin. “I’m sure the Captain won’t hurt you too badly when you wake him up.”

“No, fuck that! He’ll murder me and say it was because I went ape shit in titan form. He won’t even get arrested!”

It was when he made eye contact with Mikasa when he realized what true betrayal felt like.

“Good luck, Eren.” “No, don’t—!” Mikasa yanks the door close with one strong pull and he falls to the floor, on his ass.

The room is quite once more (save for the cheeky giggles on the other side of the door) and Eren brushes himself off as he stands up. He eyes the door to the Captain’s bedroom and he breathes in deeply when he comes to terms with what he has to do to wake the Captain from his deep slumber. He has to go inside.

He finds himself in front of the door once again, and this time his knocks are a little louder, a little more unsure, as he speaks. “Captain? I don’t think you’re waking up soon. I’m coming in.”

Slowly, he tells himself. Slowly.

Eren wasn’t sure what to expect when he opened the door to Captain Levi’s quarters. Maybe a torture chamber. Maybe swords and skeletons on the wall. Maybe a book on How To Murder With One Glare on a coffee table. He didn’t know.

But oddly, he thinks as he glances around, the Captain’s bedroom is... normal. The room’s dark, with its curtains drawn and the candles unlit. Tall shelves holding an impressive collection of books still line a portion of the walls. A bed is pressed up against the wall opposite the door, and there are two lumps underneath the blankets—

Wait.

Two lumps.

Two.

Captain Levi’s in bed with someone?

“Captain Levi,” Eren quietly calls out. He wonders who the hell managed to catch the Captain’s attention... or if someone even caught his attention at all. Captain Levi could just be hugging a pillow, he reasons. But Eren’s curiosity overtakes his fears and his legs start to walk closer towards the bed. “Captain?”

The blanket was pulled over the two sleeping lumps, and Eren gently tugs it down to reveal their faces.

No way.

No fucking way.

Briefly, Eren is speechless. His words get caught in his throat, hand frozen mid-air as he marvels at the sight of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier cuddled up within the arms of his lover. His normally stoic face is gone, replaced by relaxed eyes and a slightly ajar mouth, one cheek puffed up as it’s squished into his lover’s chest and his head is nuzzled into the crook of their neck. His arms disappear underneath the blankets, but judging by the fact that his lover’s arms were around him, Eren surmised that the Captain’s arms were most likely wrapped around his lover as well.

He looked innocent— cute, almost, and if Eren didn’t have to train under him everyday he might have actually believed that the Captain’s innocent sleeping face could be taken at face value.

Eren recognizes you, as well. He’s seen you around the base with your own squadron, an elite soldier with your own team of other elite soldiers. You’re known around the base as the squad leader who works their team to the ground, training your members so hard that they genuinely considered going to Captain Levi for comfort. But it wasn’t for naught, of course. Your squad’s survived longer than Captain Levi’s (again, may they rest in peace), barely making it out complete when the fiasco with the Female Titan occurred.

“Oi, Eren.” A voice behind him speaks, and Eren is briefly caught off guard as he turns around and makes eye contact with his comrades. Most likely, they got impatient with waiting for him and decided to see if he’d been murdered already.

Great, so now they decide they weren’t scared of going inside the Captain’s room.

“What’s taking so long?” Jean asks.

Eren is still speechless, opting to instead shakily point his finger towards the bed where Levi lay wrapped in your arms.

“H-he’s... he’s—“ “He’s what?”

He gulps and sighs deeply, speaking out so quietly his friends almost didn’t hear, speaking out in a mere shaky whisper as he utters his words.

“He’s a little spoon.”

Chaos is what Eren would use to describe what happened next. His comrades immediately jumped to stand next to him and take a look at the sight on bed, crowding around them as if they were a soap opera.

“Oh my god, he looks so...” Sasha starts in awe, hands on her cheeks and stars in her eyes but unsure how to finish her words.

Eren nods his head, understanding her speechlessness. “Innocent.”

Silently, his friends nod as well. But he couldn’t just stand here and gawk at Captain Levi’s sleeping form, he came here with a mission. “We need to wake him up. He’s already really late.” He says, more to himself than to his friends. He doesn’t wait for his comrades to exit the room as he gently places a hand on the Captain’s shoulders to shake him awake.

“Captain Levi—“

Eren learns his mistake too late as Levi’s eyes immediately snap open, hand clamping down on Eren’s and twisting it behind his back to disarm him.

“Eren!” Mikasa yells behind him, making a move to free him from Levi’s iron clad grip. From the corner of his eyes, Eren sees the person lying down next to Levi quickly sit up and throw something silver, flying past his comrades and towards Mikasa’s head, embedding itself deep within the wood next to her face.

Eren stares at his friends, all silent, frozen with fear, and rooted to their spots as their mouths hang open.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Levi sneers, pushing down on Eren’s arm.

“C-captain, you’re late for the—“ “Holy shit, we’re late for the meeting.” You cut in, eyes wide in realization.

The Captain briefly glimpses at you and clicks his tongue as he releases Eren from his grip, the young soldier immediately slumping to the ground in relief. His arms and legs felt like jello and he could already feel himself melting into the wooden floor.

“Can someone explain to me why you brats thought it would be a good idea to enter my private quarters?” Levi glares. “Without my permission?”

Oh shit. They didn’t think this through.

A cold shiver runs down the soldier’s spines as they unanimously realize their mistake, something that Eren undoubtedly would’ve felt as well if he wasn’t too busy gawking at the realization that Captain Levi was shirtless (probably naked underneath the sheets), and you were shirtless as well (also probably naked underneath the sheets).

Levi catches Eren’s eyes staring at you, and he silently pulls the blanket over your chest and up to your collarbones without breaking his glare at the cadets.

Fuck. Eren thinks, eyes snapping to the ground as a blush creeps up his neck. Captain Levi’s definitely going to cut off both my ears now.

Conny, apparently already cracking under the pressure, flails his arms and yells as he tries to make a run for the door. Before anyone could even blink, another silver blur whizzes through the air, stabbing the wood directly in front of Conny as he freezes.

It was a knife. A fucking butter knife. Why the hell the Captain and his lover keep a butterknife next to them on the bed is something Eren doesn’t want to know.

“Since none of you lot have tongues,” Levi speaks. He’s not going to get an explanation soon. “We’ll discuss punishment later. For now,” He stands up, grabbing a still flustered Eren by the collar and dragging him towards the door, pushing out the rest of the team as well.

Eren doesn’t have time to be relieved about the fact that Captain Levi was not, for a fact, naked and was wearing black boxers. He was too busy getting pushed out the Captain’s bedroom and dragged through the office before finally getting thrown out into the hallway.

“For now, you leave me alone. I have a meeting to attend to.”

Levi slams the door shut at his awestruck soldiers, breathing in a frustrated sigh as he rests his hand on his forehead. He was getting a headache. He feels arms wrap around him from behind, hands resting on his chest. He sighs once more, this time in content, as he leans into your touch.

“Hey,” you kiss neck. “Thought you said you locked the door.”

“I did.” He turns around, still in your arms, and gently places his hands on your face as he kisses your nose. “Someone must’ve accidentally unlocked it when they were trying to grab onto something. Y’know, when they were getting fucked from behind.”

You chuckle. “Well, I’m sure that someone probably got sweet talked into getting fucked against the door.”

You break away from his arms after giving him a kiss, making your way back inside Levi’s bedroom, no doubt to get dressed for the meeting.

He stares at you as you walk, still naked and looking gorgeous. His face may be stoic but his heart was leaping, the gold ring on your left hand that matched his own glimmering in the light.

Your head peaks out from behind his bedroom door. “Round two before the meeting?” You ask cheekily.

Levi rolls his eyes as he makes his way to the bedroom as well, patting your bum as he passes by. “No. We’re already late.”

Eren clutches the pillow to his head, exhausted from the laps he’d done. He glances around the room, eyeing the tired faces of his comrades.

As punishment for invading your privacy, Captain Levi assigned them laps around the base until sundown plus two weeks of stable duty. As punishment for invading his privacy, Captain Levi deemed them unworthy of having their own private space and made the entire squadron bunk together in the small room beside his own.

Well, the entire squadron except for the Captain himself, at least.

Eren was pretty sure the room they were made to sleep in indefinitely was supposed to be a supply closet of some kind, but it fitted enough bunk beds for the entire team and was deemed a worthy location to carry out the rest of their punishment.

“How long do we have to sleep here?” Sasha asked dreadfully, hands covering her ears in attempts to block out the noises coming from the other room. The sound of a squeaky mattress and a wooden bed slamming against the adjacent wall continued.

“Until we learn our lesson,” Jean quotes the Captain. He himself looked extremely tired but he wasn’t trying to cover his ears like the rest of them were, undoubtedly because he’d already given up on getting a good night’s rest if the bags underneath his eyes were anything to go by.

“I don’t even care how long we have to sleep here anymore.” Conny interjects tiredly. “I just want to know when they’ll ever stop.”

As if to prove his point, a moan is heard through the walls. The soldiers flinch, still not accustomed to the sound. Mikasa silently runs her hands through Eren’s hair to calm him down.

“They’ve been at it for hours,” Jean whispers in horror. “How much stamina do those two have?”

Armin sighs, the bags under his eyes feeling heavier by the second. “They’re elite soldiers who’ve trained for years. They have more stamina than all of us combined.”

The whole room heaves out a collective groan, finally accepting that they weren’t getting any sleep tonight.

In the other room, Captain Levi bangs his fist against the shared wall. “Oi,” he calls out. “Shut up, you brats. We can hear you.”

Levi thrusts his hips, eyes glancing down at your pleasure-struck face as he grinds into you more. The action causes you to throw your head back and let out a desperate moan, finger nails scratch down his back. He grabs your hands to pin them to the sides of your head, leaning down to whisper “Not too harsh, darling. We don’t want you leaving marks now, do we?” He continues his pace, the bed’s wooden frame slamming against the wall as he once again speaks to his soldiers.

“We have thin walls, y’know.”

If you want to be added to the tag list, click this link!

#E H E #SURPRISE BITCHES #i told y’all i was capable of writing fluff #and semi crack #writing #aot x reader #attack on titan x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #snk x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #snk imagine #shingeki no kyojin imagine #aot imagine #attack on titan imagine #levi ackerman imagine #levi imagine

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pies-writes-and-more · 3 years

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Haikyuu boys and wearing their clothes

Characters: Asahi Azumane, Kageyama Tobio, Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei, Bokuto Kotaro, Ushijima Wakatoshi, all with a gender-neutral reader :) (let me know if I missed a pronoun change or made something too femme! I very much so did not proof read this lol)

Warnings: Probably some swearing

A/N: This might be an overdone topic but I love it so much soooooo no regrets :) Let me know if you’d like more!

Asahi literally carries a picture of you in his phone case because he loves you in his clothes so much. He also has a pic of you wearing his hoodie as his wallpaper, and another printed pic of you framed in his room. I don’t care what size you are, his sweaters still manage to feel gigantic on you. It is like a hug FOREVER.

He literally could not care less that his closet is slowly growing smaller because it means that he gets to see you in his clothes. Eventually, you’ll carry them all back to him in a bag so that he can make them smell like him again. But this is his favourite part, because now his favourite items smell like you.

Daydreaming in class? Thinking of you wearing the sweater he has on.

Gets smacked by a volleyball during practice? It’s cause the smell of you is still on his jersey.

This man trips over his own two feet cause he’s trying to find you in the halls and you wave at him wearing his volleyball jacket ”So that’s where that went. I thought I forgot it somewhere...”

The two of you would trade sweaters before he went on any overnight trips and you’d send him snapchats of you cuddling with the sweater over a pillow or just you snuggled in bed with it on. He’d screenshot all of them, regardless of if you thought you looked good.

He has an album of you. He will never delete them because they’re all precious.

His teammates have accidentally caught him looking through it before a game because it really de-stressed him if you weren’t able to attend the game in person (though you made it to most of them). Tanaka would burst into tears over not being able to have a significant other with cute photos of and would make Asahi promise to always treat you right. And Asahi would just stare at your photos with his cute little smile and obviously promise because his least favourite thing in the world is seeing you sad.

(Look at how cute he is omg)

Kageyama is confused when you ask to wear his sweater. You probably did it at a time that made some sort of sense. Like it was late at night and you were studying in the gym while Hinata and him were practicing.

The cool breeze into the gym made you shiver a little and you noticed that his sweater was just sitting there on the ground so when he came over to grab some water you just looked up at him with your signature puppy eyes. “Can I wear it?”

“Why?”

“Oi, stupid head. They’re probably cold!”

It would probably annoy him so much that Hinata figured it out before him. He’d kneel down and help you put it on, pulling it over your head and giving you a little smile cause you looked so damn cute in his sweater.

But now that you’ve started wearing his things, he’s still very confused as to why you ask for them. “Should we go shopping?” He’d ask you randomly on a weekend when there was no volleyball practice. And you’d just stare at him because why would Kageyama want to stand somewhere that wasn’t a gym. “Aren’t you running out of clothes to wear or something?”

It would take a while and some conversations before you realized he was asking cause you had like 3 hoodies, a t-shirt, and some track pants in your room that were very much so his. “I just like having a piece of you with me,” you’d explain. He would have to think it over but he was very happy with this idea.

There’s only one shirt you’re not allowed to take and it’s this cute little graphic tee you got him for his birthday that has a nice drawing of a milk carton on it. He loves it. He will kill anyone that laughs at it. And no, you cannot wear it because if you’re wearing, what is he supposed to wear.

Sugawara and you regularly switch clothes because this man gives no fucks for your gender roles thank you very much. He shows up to practice one day wearing a dark pinkish basic, or some floral print shirt that you had in your closet and the boys are like “um Suga what are you wearing?”

And he’s probably just like “it’s call fashion, look it up.” (Like Suga sweetie, it’s just a shirt lol)

If you own any tighter pants like yoga pants or leggings? Suga has worn them because his legs and ass look great in them and he will strut around fully confident with that knowledge.

Honestly, he probably steals your sweaters more than you realize. You guys are baking at his house one day and you’ve made a mESS of your clothes and he’s just like oh it’s okay I’ll get you some new clothes.

And you’re expecting this cute little pj set that he has that might fit you or some comfy clothes that he’s lending you. No. He legitimately has some of your clothes and gives them to you and you’re just like.... “Suga I’ve been looking for this shirt for weeks. I even asked you about it.”

And he is suddenly deaf, little shithead.

He likes you in any clothes but they have to be his comfy clothes or he will set that shit on fire. Ennoshita once offered you his gloves because it was fricken cold out and you forgot yours at home and Suga literally threw him across the road and was like “hello angel I have gloves for you”.

You’re just like “um... Ennoshita are you okay?” Boy probably has a concussion and Suga’s just like “who’s Ennoshita?”

Tsukishima will kill you if he finds you raiding his closet. Like if he walks into his room when you two are supposed to be studying and you’re just casually picking out a sweater, he will throw you on the bed and tickle you until you call for mercy.

Will he offer his clothes to you if you’re in need of something? Most of the time, yes. But you have to ask. No stealing allowed in this household.

Except one night you stayed over and totally forgot a night shirt. Tsukishima is already like half asleep because he woke up way too early for practice that morning, so you just sneak into his drawers and pull out the first shirt you can. You can’t even see what it has on it cause it’s fucking dark. Then you crawl into bed with him, figuring you’ll accept your punishment for stealing tomorrow.

And when he wakes up, you best believe he was annoyed. First off, who plans to stay over and doesn’t bring a shirt? Stupid, can’t you remember anything? But then he realizes, you grabbed this cute little dino graphic shirt and his face is RED. Pasty boi so bright, he might as well be Hinata’s hair. And he’s desperately trying to get out of the bed and run to the bathroom before you wake up because holy fuck you’re PRECIOUS?

But all of his squirming just wakes you up and you see him all flustered, and just assume he’s mad and you’re like I’m so sorry I just didn’t have anything else and was stupid and forgot. And he just hits you (lovingly) on the head, mutters some sort of insult, and moves on.

From then on, that is your designated shirt. It’s a comfort item almost. He’ll only really wear it when he has to be away from town overnight, in which case he’ll wear it as a reminder of you (he won’t admit to it but you tried to take the shirt as a keepsake for while he was gone and he only had a heart attack. Tsukishima Kei does not believe in lucky charms. But he has yet to lose a game when he wears that shirt the night before).

Bokuto has been WAITING for you to wear something of his, but you haven’t yet. And it’s been stressful. He keeps trying to find a good excuse to see you in his clothes but you’re always too well-prepared.

“It’s kinda chilly out, Y/N, want my sweater??”

“I brought one, don’t worry!”

-.- *cue owl boi pouts*

And he doesn’t want you to wear something of his just because he asked. He wants to you want to wear his things. So he just waits. And pouts. And waits some more.

The day finally came when he was least expecting it. The gym that his game was in was freezing and you couldn’t imagine why. Most of the gyms they had played before in were pretty standard temperature but you were going to die if you stayed in the clothes you came in.

You had snuck onto the court while the boys were stretching, Akaashi smacking Bokuto in the head and interrupting his hype session to help him notice you.

“You wouldn’t happen to have a sweater with you, would you? It’s freezing!”

His eyes would widen. The day has finally arrived. He would finally get to see you in his clothes!!!!

But of course he has no sweater because he had not planned on needing one. Cue more sulking. Of course Akaashi comes over and offers his sweater and Bokuto almost bites his hand off.

“Well offer her your jacket then, idiot.” Akaashi just needs this man to hold off pouting till later.

Bokuto’s jacket just looked so perfect on you and it was a nice way to keep warm. You cheered him on during the games and after some jaw-dropping move of his, he would turn to your direction and send you a kiss. Embarrassing? A little. But he was such a cutie, how could you deny his air kiss?

Wearing his clothes became more common after that and he will literally bring you his whole closet so you can pick your favourites.

Ushijima didn’t even wait for you to ask to give you his clothes. He probably folded up his hoodie or jacket for you before a game and placed it awkwardly on your lap or in your arms and you’re just like um... do you want me to put this away for you or?

“Would you wear it for me?” How can you say no??? His cheeks are just slightly going red and he’s avoiding your eyes a bit so of course you have to wear it.

Ushijima thinks you look so nice in his clothes and he really likes how happy you look when he asks you to wear something, so he keeps doing it. That and he knows that sometimes people ask you out during his matches and he likes knowing that they’ll recognize his school colours or his jersey number and at that moment, he will send a calculated glare in their direction. And they will run for the hills, never to bother you again :)

I feel like he’s accidentally shrunk his clothes in the wash before and he just keeps them in a small pile in his room so that you can wear them when you come over. He also buys you proper house slippers that you can wear around his home because he wants you to be as comfy as possible.

Sometimes when you guys are just standing around waiting for a game to start, or if you’re all done eating lunch, he’ll unzip his track jacket and open it up so you can stand there and hug him, and he’ll hug you back with his hands in the pockets so it’s like you’re in the jacket with him (Tendo has definitely zipped it up before and trapped you guys in an awkward hug like stance and he will continue to do this because he thinks it’s hilarious. Has definitely snapped pictures of it and sent it to Ushijima. Ushijima saved it because it was kinda cute).

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juletheghoul · 3 years

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Sub Terra

So in honour of the upcoming milestone of 300 (still shocked tbh) I am posting this completely self-indulgent Dio (the one and only goth king) fic. It's short and I always keep these things open-ended because you never know. I'm dedicating this to my fellow -former-goth/emo teen @mouthymandalorian

Literally talked about how both of us would have been ALL OVER Dio as teens and because of this we are fucking kindred lol.

Dio x F!Reader

Pairing: Dio x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: Language, Smut 18+ dirty talk, Oral-female receiving (dio begging you)

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It wasn't the classiest of establishments, but the music was loud, and the drinks were cheap.

It was a busy night and you kept to yourself - it wasn’t hard having perfected the death glare in case anyone got too close.

You noticed a small group of girls crowding a tall lean guy across the bar. Even though the music drowned out everything around you, you could almost hear the pretentious tone he was speaking with.

Dio.

You knew him, everyone knew him. The only person living life at the ‘next level’, in his opinion of course. It’s almost annoying how attracted you are to him, tall and lean - that neck. Rings and earrings adorning his golden skin, reflecting brightly when hit with a light. Annoyingly drawing your eye to him each time.

Even with all of the black clothing, all of the accessories, the long black jacket, the circles under his eyes - you wanted him. You saw him talking to a group of eager women, looking almost bored. You could see him - taking note of each of them, deciding which one was worth his time, none of them ever were.

His dark eyes flash up to you then and he smirks, expecting you to turn away shyly like all the other girls do. His gaze was intense and it shamed you slightly to admit that it sent a bolt of arousal straight through you but you didn’t show it. You held his gaze, your face the very picture of boredom. You raise an eyebrow at him in challenge when he didn’t look away and you knew then you had him. He smiled slyly, looking back to the girls vying for his attention. You turned, giving him your back, smiling at the face he'd surely make to realize your disinterest in him.

Girls were a game to him, a hunt - he was the same to you. It all comes back around.

You felt him slide in next to you as you watched the crowd- could feel his eyes burning into you from your periphery. With you sitting on the stool - he towered over you, taking up so much space.

You ignored him - keeping your eyes focused on the crowd and your drink.

“What’s your name?” He said it directly into your ear, much closer than necessary. You told him - without turning to face him. You could feel the electricity coming off him in waves, trying to get you to look at him. You resisted - you wanted to see if he would get tired of it and leave. He didn’t.

“I’m Dio, what are you drinking? Let me get you another.” You felt him turn to get the bartender's attention.

You finally turned to him, he was swimming in his jacket and you wanted to crawl into it with him. He smelled like cigarettes and a spicy cologne, hairspray and liquor, not too strong but strangely appealing. You finished the rest of your drink in a large swallow and put your empty glass on the counter.

You could see him looking down at your cleavage, licking his lips at the gap between the dress and the lacy bra you wore. He saw you looking and it didn’t deter him. He drank what you thought was absinthe as he continued to look you up and down - you had to fight the urge to roll your eyes. Of course he’d be drinking absinthe.

You kept your face neutral and let him drink his fill, not failing to notice the girls at the other end of the bar staring daggers at you.

“I don’t think your friends like me.” You looked up at him, subtly gesturing to the girls watching your conversation with an acute intensity.

“Oh they’re not my friends, they just want my attention.” His smugness would normally have turned you off, but you couldn’t help but be attracted.

“And what do you want?” You swirled your drink as you licked your lip, mirroring his earlier gesture back at him.

“I want your attention.” He leaned in and you pulled back smiling.

“Did you think I would just give it to you?” You laughed as you drank your drink in a couple of gulps, the burning in your throat grounding you. You walked away - knowing in your heart he’d follow you. He did not disappoint.

You felt him grab your hand as he caught up to you and pull you towards him, crowding you, curling his body to surround you as he spoke into your ear.

“I like the chase, and I can make it worth your while. Let me taste you.” he placed an open-mouthed kiss at your pulse point. You let him work himself up against your skin before pushing him away with a laugh.

“I’m not convinced - you gotta make me believe you really want it.” you pulled back enough to see his expression, his eyes were dark. He was enjoying this.

“Believe me, I want it - I want to make you cum on my tongue.” He made to kiss you again and you once again pulled away. You briefly looked to the girls at the bar and if looks could kill, you’d be a bloody heap on the floor.

“Why don’t you go ask one of them - I’m sure any one of them would let you do whatever you want.” you kept your hand on his chest - keeping him at bay. He looked back briefly, before turning his attention back to you.

“I’m not interested in them, I want you.” His hands were at your waist - pulling you close to him, it was so tempting to let him kiss you but you were enjoying his desperation.

“Who says I want you?” you laughed in his ear - biting it to get him really riled up. He groaned and lowered his hands to roughly grab your ass through your skirt.

“I think you do - I think you’re intrigued and curious, and I think you’re going to let me lick - what I have no doubt - is a very pretty pussy.” You let him get close but quickly grabbed his jaw - holding him a hair's breadth away from your mouth.

“It is very pretty - but it’s not for you.” You licked his lip before shoving him firmly away from you. You had a bold idea - quickly making sure no one was really paying attention you swiftly reached under your dress to pull your panties off. His eyes widened as he watched you quickly shimmy out of them. You threw them into his face and you saw him shudder.

“That’s as close as you’re going to get.” you walked away from him to head up to the mezzanine of the club you were in. He didn’t follow you right away - standing there clutching your - very noticeably wet - panties to his face. He was rapturous and it took him a couple of minutes to reign in his excitement.

You kept an eye on him as you made your way up, after a few minutes he stalked his way up the stairs two at a time to reach you. The look on his face was dangerous in its intensity. When his eyes locked on you, it was like butterflies burst in your stomach. How far were you going to push him?

As far as you could.

You looked over the balcony at the crowd dancing below. The second bar up there was closed off, leaving it empty.

He pressed himself against your back, the proof of his excitement straining against his dark jeans and the curve of your ass. His arms resting on either side of you - blocking you in.

“You can’t tell me you’re not excited- your panties are soaked, let me lick it.” He bit at your neck as you surveyed the crowd.

“Beg. Beg to lick my pussy.” You turned to look up at him, head tilted playfully although your tone was anything but. His pupils were blown wide, enjoying this way more than he’d care to admit.

“Please baby, please - let me lick it. Let me kiss your cunt. I want it so badly - look how bad I want it…” he guided your hand to press it against his cock. It took everything in you not to gasp.

“Fine, kneel.” His eyes widened and you swore you felt his cock twitch under your palm. He quickly got down onto his knees and kissed your belly through the dress.

“You want me to do it right here?” He was smiling up at you, asking the question even as he lifted your dress and brought your leg up to rest on his shoulder. You nodded, smiling.

“You said you wanted it, you even begged like a good boy. Let’s see how fast you can make me cum.” You grabbed his hair and pushed it towards your aching cunt, spreading your lips open for him with the other hand. He moaned at the sight.

His tongue was heaven.

His hands grabbed at your ass to get closer to you, sucking your clit into his mouth. You moaned at his enthusiasm, you almost hoped he wouldn’t be good at it but he was. You ran your fingers through his hair, holding him in place as you ground yourself onto his tongue.

“Oh god right there-“ you moaned, you were close already. The fact that anyone could come up was exciting you even more. You felt filthy and powerful as you looked down at him, his dark eyes locked on you.

You felt him slide a finger into you and you threw your head back with a whimper. The wet glide of his tongue, steadily sliding over- again and again. The rhythm of it driving you into a frenzy.

Your grip on his hair tightened and he moaned onto your skin, the vibration throwing you over the edge. You came with a moan, clenching around his finger. Drenching him in your arousal.

He licked you until you pulled him away from over-stimulation. His face was that of the cat who ate the canary. All smiles and bravado as you pulled your dress down.

“Was it everything you wanted?” You let out a sigh as he got back on his feet, adjusting himself in his pants.

“Best thing I’ve ever tasted.” You let him kiss you then, tasting yourself on his tongue. His hands grabbing at your ass again. You pushed him away and his eyes were unfocused, he was ravenous.

You said nothing as you dragged him out of the bar by the collar, his shirt bunched in your hand.

He followed you like a puppy and you smiled the whole time.

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#dio morrissey #shane dio morrissey #dio x reader #dio x you #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #dio x female reader #pedro pascal x you

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yam-writes · 3 years

Text

mine forever Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Strade x Reader Additional Tags: Sadism, Knifeplay, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Blood and Torture, Torture, Oral Fixation, Biting, Bruises, Unhealthy Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Masochism, Stockholm Syndrome, Canon-Typical Violence, Violence here you go :) it’s a little shorter and i wrote it after i got my wisdom teeth out, but i hope you like it anyway! :) you can read it on ao3 or under the cut :)

You didn’t know how long you had been down there, tied to that pole. It was pretty easy to keep track of the days at first, but as the amount of times he came down increased, and the amount of sleep you were getting decreased, the days all blurred together and you didn’t know how long you were out versus how long you were awake. Not that it mattered, anyway. What little sleep you did get wasn’t any better than the horrors of being awake, your dreams poisoned by him along with reality. It seemed like no matter what you did he was always there, stuck in your head, a perfect picture of him carved into your brain.

So your mind was a little fucked. Keeping track of the time wasn’t at the top of your priorities list, but if you had to guess you would’ve said it was a few weeks. But, really, you weren’t even paying much attention. You were far too worried about the grumbling of your stomach, the dryness in your throat, the stickiness of your skin, the smell that you were pretty sure was coming from you, and the pain that crept over every inch of your body. You didn’t know how long it had been, but you hoped that it had been long enough for him to just kill you.

Of course you could never get that lucky, though. “Looks like you belong to me now.” That’s what he had said, and that’s what he kept reminding you every time he fucked you, make you fuck him, came on your face, down your throat, on your back, on your stomach, inside you. Every time he dug his knife into your skin, opened a new wound, reopened old ones. Every time he shoved his fingers in your blood and made you taste it, every time he tasted it himself. “Mine, mine, mine.” That’s all you ever fucking heard.

You thought being kept would be a good thing. That meant you weren’t going to die. But was it really worth it? If you were going to be stuck down in his basement for the rest of your life, no, it wasn’t worth it, but what else were you supposed to do? Just deny yourself any pleasure you might receive because of who was giving it to you? He was already depriving you of everything, why should you do it to yourself? It wasn’t worth it, no, but it was all you had.

You found yourself clinging onto him. When he would untie your wrists and pull you close, you dug your fingers into the back of his shirt and buried your face into the crook of his neck. You stared up at him in wonder, watching him grab tools from shelves, unbutton his belt, clean up your blood from the floor. Your body ached when he was gone, and part of that was for him. It was fucked up how much you had come to want him, to need him. You hated yourself for it, but he was all you had. What else were you supposed to do? Maybe you really were his.

You even found yourself calling out his name. Sometimes it would be in your sleep, but other times you’d be fully awake and calling out for him. It was hard sitting down there, in the dark, for God knows how long, just waiting for him to come back. You longed for any touch, his touch, to feel his fingers on your skin, the warmness of his body pressed against yours. So you called out for him. And he would come.

It was one of those times, sleepiness and blood loss making your head foggy, that you called out for him. You didn’t know how he heard you, considering that you figured the basement was sound proof. It had to be, with the things that went on down there. But you heard thumping come from upstairs anyway as you called out his name again. After a few minutes, the basement door swung open and the light from upstairs flooded in. You flinched, preparing yourself for the bright lights that would turn on next, but they never came. The room was plunged into darkness as the door shut again. You heard fumbling around for a few more seconds, and then a wall light came on, trading the harshness of the white overhead lights for a nice, warm, orange glow.

You looked at the light and then to Strade, who was leaning against a counter, his arms crossed. He was staring at you, a smile on his face, but it wasn’t his usual big, toothy smile. No, this one was more contained. He had a- you leaned in closer, trying to get a better look. You squinted your eyes and, no, yeah, he definitely did have a lollipop stuck between his teeth. He raised his arm and grabbed the stick, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth.

“You called?” he asked, amusement dripping from his voice like acid. He waved the lollipop around.

You swallowed and nodded, trying to tear your eyes away from the lollipop. The only thing you had to eat those past few days were granola bars and some jerky. Your mouth was practically watering at the candy. It wasn’t anything with any sustenance, but at least it was something different.

“Do you need something?” he asked, slowing down each word.

“I just-” you heard your voice say. “I just missed you.”

Strade let out a loud laugh. “You missed me?” he asked. He stepped forward and leaned down beside you. “Then we should spend some time together, yeah?”

You stared up at him, your mouth hanging open. His proposition hung in your head and your brain was yelling at you for willingly calling him down there, for participating in his game. You knew you were only egging him on.

“Okay,” you squeaked.

Strade hummed. He stared at you for another moment before pushing himself up. He shoved the lollipop in his mouth again. You saw the stick move as he swirled it around. He walked around until he was standing in front of you.

“So what do you want to do?” he asked, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth again.

You swallowed. Your eyes were still on the lollipop. You were really craving it. “Can I-” you started. You shifted. moving your arms in the ropes slightly. “Do you have another one?” you asked, gesturing your head towards his hand.

Strade’s eyebrows raised and his eyes shifted to the candy in his hand. “Do you want one?” he asked.

You nodded, licking your lips.

Strade let out a laugh and said, “Okay!” He stepped towards you and bent down. “You can have this one!” He reached out and grabbed your chin, pulling your mouth open. He shoved the lollipop in your mouth and you felt the sweetness on your tongue. He pushed your chin up, closing your mouth.

You coughed, the sudden entrance of something in your mouth causing you to choke. You pushed the lollipop to the side of your mouth with your tongue, feeling your saliva and Strade’s covering your mouth. Your hand instinctively raised to move the stick, but you were stopped by the ropes. The pole vibrated, which caused Strade to let out a loud laugh.

“You like it?” he asked.

You moved the lollipop around in your mouth, pushing it to the other side. You looked up at him and nodded. “Thank you,” you said around the lollipop.

Strade smiled. He reached his hand up and cupped your cheek. You leaned into the touch.

“My pet is always so polite,” Strade said. He scooted forward and placed his forehead on yours. “Didn’t even need much training.” He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, seemingly in thought. Then, his eyes opened and he smiled. “I think you deserve a reward!”

You looked at him through your lashes. “A reward?” you asked. You could feel drool drip from your lip from the lack of free movement the lollipop had.

Strade hummed and stood up. He stared down hard at you, and you felt your body flush at his gaze. You watched his eyes move as you shifted the lollipop. Then, he moved his feet, walking around until he was behind you. You heard shuffling, and then a thump onto the ground. You saw Strade’s legs appear on either side of you and his body pressed against yours and the pole as he scooted closer. He reached his hand out and ran a finger from your knee to your thigh, making you wince as he scraped over wounds. His finger ran all the way up, rubbing over your hip and your tummy. He went through the middle of your chest and up your neck. The light touch made you shudder, and you let your head fall back against the pole. You shifted the lollipop again as his finger reached under your chin, hooking around until it was running over your lips.

“Is this my reward?” you asked, feeling even more drool dropping out of your mouth.

Strade let out a small laugh as he ran his finger through your spit. He moved his hand away from you and even though you couldn’t see what he was doing, the muffled hum he let out told you that he had shoved his finger in his mouth. You heard a wet pop noise and then Strade’s voice.

“You’re antsy tonight,” he said. He leaned forward and you felt his lips brush against your ear. “You’ll get your reward soon enough.” You felt his hands on your again, slowly gliding down. He rested his chin on your shoulder, in the crook of your neck. You took in a sharp breath as his right hand rested around your neck and his left kept going down.

You bit your lip as his fingers found your clit. He rubbed circles, slowly, drawing out any pleasure you could receive from this. His other hand squeezed lightly against your neck, his thumb rubbing under your jaw. He continued to run circles around your clit, speeding up his pace so that you wouldn't notice his hand traveling up your neck.

When his finger slipped down and plunged inside of you roughly, you completely forgot about the lollipop. Your mouth flew open, the lollipop hanging on by your lip. But Strade’s hand had made its way up, and his fingers grabbed the stick. You didn’t even know what he was doing until you couldn’t breathe.

You leaned forward, letting out a loud cough, candy coated spit dripping from your mouth. You could feel the lollipop down your throat, the stick pressed against the roof of your mouth. Strade let out a loud laugh as you continued to cough, trying to get the lollipop out. His hands left your body and he stood up. You turned your head and watched him walk around until he was standing in front of you. You clenched your throat, feeling the lollipop lodged in there. You leaned forward, letting the spit fall onto the floor.

“What’s the matter?” Strade asked, bending down in front of you. He grabbed your chin and made you look at him. You stared up at him, your eyes wide at the lack of oxygen. The blood rushing in your ears made it hard to hear anything, but you could just barely catch the sounds of your own wheezing. “You wanted the lollipop, didn’t you?”

You felt tears slide down your face and you thought for sure this was how you were going to die. You gagged around the candy, your arms jerking involuntarily to get the lollipop out of your mouth. You could hear the vague sound of Strade’s laughter as your vision started to go blurry. You went still, not having enough energy to keep trying to cough up the lollipop.

That’s when Strade’s hand found your mouth, pulling it open wide. His fingers dug inside wrapping around the stick. He pulled it out and you gasped, pulling in a raggedy breath of air. You coughed more, finally able to breathe again. You spit, candy and blood hitting the floor. You looked up at Strade, feeling the scratchiness on your throat. You watched him toss the lollipop to the floor, breaking in half and shattering.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said with a small shrug. “You look cute when you’re choking.”

You continued to cough, the tears falling freely. You jerked against the ropes as you rocked your body, trying to find your breath again. You felt the rope burning your wrists, but honestly that pain helped to bring you down as your breaths calmed and got steadier. After a few minutes, you were leaning your head back against the pole and panting at the ceiling.

Strade took a deep breath in and then walked towards the counter. You watched him pull a drawer open and you heard some clanging inside.

“You did so good,” he said. He reached into the drawer and grabbed something. He turned around with a huge smile on his face and held up a knife. “Just one more thing and then you can get your reward!”

You gulped as he stepped towards you. You pulled your legs up, but he bent down and gripped your ankle, pulling your leg back down. He pulled the other one down, too, and then reached his hand out. He ran his fingers across your stomach, causing you to suck in a breath of air. He let out a small noise and then stood back up, walking around behind you. You felt his hands on yours and he tugged up roughly.

“Stand up,” he said.

You pulled your legs up and pushed yourself onto your feet, feeling the sting of the rope on your wrists as they slid up the pole. Strade walked back in front of you and stepped close, pressing as much of himself against you as he could while still having enough room to move the knife around. His right arm leaned against the pole above your head. He looked down and pressed the flat side of the cold blade against your stomach. You took a sharp breath in.

He looked up at you as he twisted the blade and said, “Spell it out for me, okay?”

You didn’t know what you were supposed to be spelling out, but you didn’t have much time to think about it because immediately after you felt a small slash down your stomach, followed by another one and then another one. You let a loud hiss, and felt the tears brimming at your eyes. You turned your head away, trying somehow to get away from the pain.

“S,” Strade said, smiling big at you.

You didn’t say anything, completely forgetting about what he had told you to do only a moment before. You squeezed your eyes shut, but then you felt a sharp pain hit your cheek as Strade slapped you, blood splattering inside your mouth.

“I said spell it out,” he growled, pushing his face into yours.

“S!” you repeated, pushing the letter out through your teeth.

Strade smiled and gave your cheek two pats, then looked back down at your tummy. He moved the knife again, two slashes, one up and one across.

“T,” he said.

“T!” you choked out.

He didn’t waste any time moving his hand slightly and getting started on the next letter. You felt the blood from the other slashes slide down your body, and your vision was starting to get hazy. The tears fell down your face as the next slashes started, four in total, right above your belly button.

“R,” Strade said, his voice getting slower and his breathing getting heavier.

“R,” you said weakly, the dots connecting in your head. You knew what he was spelling. Of course you knew.

He moved his hand and you winced as the knife pushed into your skin and dragged down, then moved slightly, connecting to the top of the cut and dragging down the other side. Then one more slice across the middle.

“A,” you gulped, not even giving him time to speak.

Strade looked up, a huge smile spreading across his face. “Hey!” he said, sounding the happiest you had heard him in a while. “You got it!”

He looked back down and pulled the knife across your stomach again. You squeezed your eyes shut and let the tears fall freely. Your stomach jerked inward with every slash, but Strade’s right hand had moved from above your head and had gripped your waist.

“D,” you said. You could feel your body getting weaker, begging to just be able to sit down again.

Strade cut into you more, slashing once down and then three times across. You cried out, attempting to kick your legs and move away, but his fingers dug into your side, holding you still.

“E,” you sobbed.

Strade breathed in and dropped the knife to the floor. His right hand dropped and he groped himself through his pants, his other hand reached out and touched the “s” gliding over the letter lightly.

“And what’s that spell?” he asked, looking up at you, smiling.

“Strade!” you choked out. “Strade.” The second time came out more raggedy.

“Right!” he praised. His fingers moved from the “S” and traced over every letter, your body jerking and wincing with every motion. He let his fingers push into the wounds, his fingertips violating you in the worst way. He smeared your blood all over your body and his hand. When he was finished tracing the letter, he raised his hand up and shoved a finger in his mouth. He let out a small groan and then pulled it out. He let out another sigh as he looked at you, a fond smile on his face. “There! Now you really are mine forever.”

You let out a choked sob as the knowledge of what he had just said seeped into your brain. He had carved his name into your stomach, there was nothing you could do. Even if you somehow did manage to get away, he would always be on your body, always be stuck on you. No matter what you did, you were always going to be his.

Strade was on you in an instant, pressing his body against you. The friction from the fabric on his shirt rubbing against your fresh cuts stung, and you whimpered as you felt his face press into your neck. He parted his lips and stuck his tongue out, dragging the flat of it all the way up to your ear. At the same time, his fingers had found their way to his pants, his knuckles intentionally grazing against the wounds as he undid his pants. When he had pushed his pants down slightly, he moved his hand and grabbed your thigh, pulling your leg up around his waist.

His cock pressed against your entrance for only a moment before he was pushing himself inside. You let out a small cry at the rough entrance, feeling him stretch you open as he thrust all the way inside. His weight pushed you back, the pole pressing into your spine. He pulled out and then shoved back inside, the force enough to push you up the pole.

You jerked your hands, trying to reach out to grab him, touch him, push him away, pull him closer, just do anything, but the ropes stopped any major movement. He still had his face buried in your neck, and with one particularly hard thrust he bit down, causing you to clench around him. He let out a sharp hiss, sucking in the breath between his teeth at the feeling.

Strade’s fingers dug into your thigh, the tips pushing into wounds from days ago, reopening the barely healed cuts. He continued to fuck into you, his cock going deep enough to reach a spot that rarely ever got touched. The pressure was pain mixed with pleasure, your tummy feeling like it was just punched with every thrust. The bundles inside you were screaming that you should be crying out in pain, but the tears coming from your eyes were because of how good it felt despite the pain hazing out your brain. You pressed your hands into fists, digging your nails into your palms.

Strade was grunting and breathing hard, his slobber getting all over your neck. He pushed inside you again, gripping your thigh harder.

“You’re so,” he said against your neck, pausing and raising his head slightly, searching for the right word, “addicting,” he said into your ear.

You let out a small, defeated whine.

“I really am so glad I found you,” he continued, raising his head even more. He smiled down at you, getting rougher with every word, reveling in the way your face twisted. He pressed his forehead against yours, both of your sweat mixing together. “How lucky I am that someone was made to fit me perfectly.”

With that sentence, he pulled all the way out and thrust all the way back inside in one quick motion. You let out a loud cry and threw your head back. You could vaguely hear him laughing, your brain too focused on the pressure building up in your tummy, the way he was filling you up, making it seem like he was the only thing inside of you, the way his fingers were digging into your skin, and the irritation to the fresh cuts on your stomach. You clenched around Strade again, squeezing your leg around his waist tighter, feeling the inevitable about to come.

But then you were empty. Your eyes shot open and you looked at Strade. His eyebrows were pulled together, but he wasn’t looking back at you. He was pumping his dick in his hand, and then a few seconds later you felt the tip press against your stomach. Then a warmness hit your body as he came on you, along with the fresh cuts.

Strade’s fingers unwrapped from around your thigh and your leg dropped. You slumped slightly against the pole, the dizziness making it hard to stand. You fluttered your eyes and watched Strade put himself away, pulling up and buttoning his pants again. He hopped slightly and then straightened out his shirt. His eyes were on you again, your eyes heavy-lidded and your face ruined with tears and sweat and snot and some blood that had somehow made its way up there.

“We should probably clean this before it gets infected,” Strade said, reaching his hand out to run his fingers across your tummy, mixing the blood and cum together. You winced, but your body was too spent to react too much.

“Okay,” you mumbled out. You slid to the floor, rejoicing in the fact that you could finally sit again.

You let your head flop to the side as you watched Strade walk over to a nearby cabinet and pull out a small medical kit. He came back and you let him wipe you down, cleaning the area. When he was finished he put the kit up and then came back over to you. He circled around and you felt his fingers press against your wrists, untying the ropes. Your arms flopped to your sides, finally free. He circled back around.

Strade towered over you. “Time for your reward!” he boomed.

You stared up at him, fear washing over your face. But then he reached his hand out.

“Want to go upstairs?” he asked, his voice softening ever so slightly.

You looked up at him, swallowing. Your eyes flashed to the stairs and then back to his hand. Your eyebrows pulled down, your face shifting to confusion. He was going to let you go upstairs? He had to be joking. This had to be some kind of sick joke.

“What’s that face for?” Strade asked, letting out a loud laugh. “Don’t you trust me?”

You swallowed. You looked towards the stairs again and then your eyes landed back on him. You looked up at him, staring at his outstretched hand. He had to be planning something. He just had to. There was no way that he was going to let you go upstairs. He was going to get to the top and then push you back down, laughing as your crumbled body laid on the floor. He was going to let you stand up and then attack you when your back is to him. He wasn’t being genuine.

But, for some reason, you reached your hand out anyway, taking a hold of his and letting him pull you up. Whatever he was going to do couldn’t be any worse than what he had already done. Besides, you were his now, anyway. You had to do what he said.

#strade x you #btd strade #strade x reader #boyfriend to death #strade boyfriend to death #fanfiction #my friend said this was some kinky high schooler shit #and i said that strade is basically just a kinky high schooler #lmao

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smellsfaintlyofvanilla · 3 years

Note

Hello omg, can I request Sasha with a warrior S/O? Like reader came with Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt on their mission and during Reiner and Bertholdt’s reveal, she reveals herself too? UAUAUA it can be angst or whatever you prefer 🥺❤️

I gave the reader the Warhammer titan btw cause it’s my favorite akdkakfkd

Also, it’s a little long, but that’s just ‘cause I wrote out the whole warrior reveal in word form, and it’s longer than I remember lol

With You

(Sasha Braus x Reader)

AU: Canon, slightly divergent

Warnings: Gore/graphic description of injury, season 3 spoilers, slight season 4 spoilers

Genre: Angst

Summary: Following the battle at Utgard castle, Reiner stops to have a chat with Eren, and reveals that he, Bertholdt, and Sasha’s s/o are all titan shifters, right in front of Sasha.

Words: 3.9K

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You had no time to process what had happened. Ymir was a titan, Christa was Historia, and Zeke has finally made his appearance.

You sighed and leaned against the rope tethers of the pulley system, regaining your bearings on the platform as you were pulled up and over the wall. The battle of Utgard castle had been tough—and many secrets were uncovered.

So, Ymir was the titan that ate Marcel all those years ago... You recounted in your head, sighing as you held your face in your palms. And now Zeke is here. We must’ve been too long without any sign of progress. We’re in big trouble. If we get back without Annie and Eren, it’ll be all over for us. Magath is gonna—

“Y/n!” A cheery voice brought you out of your slump, and you looked over your shoulder to see Sasha standing behind you, an arm outstretched as an offering of help.

You smiled at the sight of your girlfriend, and you slowly rose from your spot on the makeshift elevator, taking her hand and pulling yourself up onto the wall. “Thanks, Sasha.”

As soon as you stood up straight, Sasha lunged at you and wrapped her arms around your shoulders, lifting her feet off of the ground as you leaned all of her body weight onto you.

“I’m so glad you’re okay...! I was so worried!” She buried her face in your neck as she spoke, and you wrapped your arms around her lower back, putting your hands on her butt as support so she could wrap her legs around your waist.

You giggled at her, cuddling closer into her embrace. “I’m alright, I’m okay. There’s no need to worry.”

“I know, but I heard that you and your squad got held up at Utgard castle overnight in the middle of a titan horde, and when we finally got there and saw the tower collapsed, I was so scared! I... I—!” She cried into your neck as you moved a hand to rub small circles on her back.

“I know, I know, but we’re okay now. We had a bit of...” You glanced to the left. Ymir lay unconscious and steaming in the stretcher, a distressed Historia leaning over her and brushing strands of brown locks out of her face. “Unexpected help.”

“Mhm...” She mumbled, leaning into you for support. You stayed like this in silence for a while, enjoying each other’s presence after so long of being separated.

“Hey, lovebirds!” A loud shout caught your attention, and both you and Sasha turned to the source; Connie. “Save that stuff for the dorms! We still have stuff to do!”

“Right...” Sasha muttered, climbing off of you and running towards Connie, helping him haul terrified soldiers over the wall.

You stared in admiration for only a brief moment before your attention turned to your comrades, Reiner and Bertholdt. Reiner’s arm was wrapped up in the torn cloth of Historia’s skirt, and Bertholdt was close by, the two of them standing in a solemn, heavy silence.

You approached them quietly, taking a seat next to Reiner. Neither of you said anything. The sudden appearance of the beast titan, or rather, Zeke, had shaken you all. You had been gone for years, and gave no sign of retrieving the Founding Titan. Not only that, but you had lost Marcel and Annie. No matter what, the situation wasn’t going to end smoothly for you three.

To the right, many of the Scouts had gathered around a blonde Garrison soldier. Hannes—his name popped into your mind, as Eren had mentioned him before, while in the 104th. He seemed to be disclosing something to the others, and they looked on with mixed expressions.

“Do you think this has something to do with Zeke?” You questioned. Reiner kept his face buried in his palm, and Bertholdt turned to you with a sigh.

“Most likely.” The tall man answered. “I mean, we saw him. He’s clearly here. He must be doing something with his spinal fluid. Speeding up the process, perhaps.” He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists in anxiety, eyes wide. “We’re in deep shit.”

You didn’t respond to him verbally, offering only a huff in solemn agreement.

The group of soldiers disbanded, though many branched of into separate conversations of worry, wonder, and resentment. As they walked off, Reiner stood up suddenly, eyes still fixated on the ground.

“Eren.” He called out, drawing the attention of the shorter man. “We should talk. You got a moment?”

“Sure, I guess.” He sighed, walking over. You and Bertholdt shared confused and concerned looks. The two of you had long noticed that Reiner had gone a bit off the deep end since arriving at Paradis, so you were wary of what he might say or do next.

“Five years ago, we compromised Wall Maria and launched an attack on humanity.” He spoke, turning his back to Eren, hanging his head in defeat. You looked at Bertholdt, and he mirrored your emotion. Panic.

“I’m the Armored Titan. He’s the Colossal.” He pointed his thumb in your direction when he spoke. “And she’s the Warhammer.”

“What are you talking about? Why are you telling him?” Bertholdt chocked out quietly.

“Reiner!” You whispered sharply, venom dripping from your tone. The three of you had done such a careful job keeping your identities secret from the others, and Reiner just spilled all of it. There was no going back from this.

“We were on a mission.” He continued.

“Stop!” Bertholdt pleaded, but Reiner didn’t waver.

“Our goal was to ensure mankind’s extinction. But now, there’s no need for that. Eren,” He turned to face the shocked and confused boy to his side. “If you want the walls to remain standing, it’s simple. Just come with Bertholdt, Y/n, and me. Do you understand?”

A good look to your left proved that he did not, in fact, understand.

“Understand? What the hell is there to understand?!” He shouted, drawing the attention of a few soldiers. Mikasa stood protectively a short distance away, and Sasha, with her impeccable hearing, turned to face the scene as well. The two of you made eye contact, and your distress must have been evident even at such a distance, because her eyes widened, and she started to make her way over with concern and confusion.

“Listen to me.” To your and Bertholdt’s horror, Reiner kept speaking. “I need you to do exactly as I say. Look, I know this is sudden, but we have to go.”

“Right now?” He exclaimed. “Where would you take me?”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet.” Internally, you started to collect yourself. This wasn’t ending quietly. Bloodshed was dreadfully immanent. “Just think of it as our hometown.” Your eyes widened. He’s just gonna ask Eren? You thought, astounded. After all this, he really thinks Eren is just gonna follow us? What is he thinking?!

“Okay? So what’s it gonna be? Not a bad deal, right? The chance to avert a major crisis?”

“I’m not so sure...” He muttered. You were surprised he didn’t have a stronger reaction, especially for someone as fiery as him. Perhaps he was still in shock, or denial. Either way, they were teetering on the edge of battle, even if you and Bertholdt were the only ones to sense it.

“You guys!” Armin shouted, waving to capture the attention of you, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Eren. “Get a move on, we’re heading out!” Despite that, Sasha pushed right past him, closing in to the conversation, standing still now that she was in earshot. Mikasa was to her left, watching Eren with a dangerously protection glare.

Eren closed his eyes, taking in a deep sigh. It felt as if, for a moment, the world stood still. Damn it, he thought, I didn’t want to believe it...

A distant memory flashed through his head. When Annie had been found out, they had discussed the possibility of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Y/n also being shifters, but they didn’t have proof. Was it really so simple, though?

He opened his eyes and placed a firm hand on Reiner’s shoulder. “You’re just tired. That’s it, right? Help me out here Bertholdt, Y/n. Your nerves are shot. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“U-Uh, yeah.” Bertholdt fumbled. “It’s the battle fatigue talking!”

“Yeah!” You reaffirmed, luckily being able to exude more confidence than Bertholdt. “You’re just tired. After everything that just happened, I can’t blame you.” You laughed nervously, praying no one saw through your bluff.

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Between your bluff, and his shock, Eren took the bait. “If you really were the Armored Titan, what’s the endgame here? We wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. What’d you expect me to do? Say yes? Let myself be kidnapped just ‘cause you asked politely?” Somehow, you found yourself agreeing with Eren on that last one.

Despite Eren’s nonchalant response, a dead silence overtook the air, and Sasha found it as her cue to step forward.

“Y/n? What’s going on here?” She placed a hand on your shoulder, but as soon as she did, you looked back. She gasped at the sight. You looked petrified.

“Right. Not thinking straight, am I?” He finally gave up his ploy, wide-eyed and sweating bullets. “Barely know what I’m saying here. Must’ve gone off the deep end.”

Eren turned his back to the three of you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Deafening silence and still air ensued. You did not move. The clouds cleared, and rays of sun shone down on the stone beneath your feet.

“That’s the problem.” Reiner shook. He chuckled, and shadows covered his face. You’d never seen him like this before.

“I’ve been here too long for my own good. Three years of this madness, surrounded by idiots. We were kids. What’d we know about anything?”

You couldn’t help but agree with Reiner on that one. You didn’t want to become a warrior, none of you did. If you knew the atrocities you had to commit in order to have the essence of a warrior, the idea would’ve never crossed your mind.

“Why did there have to be people like this.” He choked, tears pricking his eyes and mouth spread into a wide, ugly frown. “Why? Why did I let myself devolve into such a half-assed piece of shit?”

“It’s too late now.” He lifted his arm out of the cast makeshift cast, and held his arm up, showing the red and bloody bite mark. “Damned if I know what’s right anymore! Who cares? It is what it is. No choice but to face what I’ve done! As a warrior.”

His arm steamed, and shortly after, the skin closed up, blood drying and appearing as if he’d never been injured from the get-go.

“No road left but the one that leads to the end!” He screamed. Eren’s eyes widened as he gasped. He finally understood.

“Reiner! Right now? Here?” Bertholdt yelled back, prepared for anything, despite the beads of sweat that rolled down his face.

“We’re really doing this?!” You echoed, and Sasha looked on with a horrified expression.

“Yes. Right here, right now!” He commanded, marching towards Eren. “We settle this once and for all!”

Mikasa appeared out of nothing in a fraction of second, blades drawn and mind set on murder. She swung her blade at Reiner, who put up his hand defensively as the blade split his hand in half from his fingers all the way to his wrist. She spun around in an instant, and her blade cleanly slashed right across Bertholdt’s neck, who fell to the ground screaming and holding his throat.

He eyes were set on you, and an underhanded swing of her blade slashed a line right across your face. Blood immediately clouded your vision, and you groaned in pain as you were sure you had lost an eye.

She charged at you, determined to finish the job, but her sprint was interrupted by Sasha, who tackled Mikasa at full force, and the sword tumbled out of her grasp as Sasha pinned her down.

“Sasha!” She struggled. “Sasha, move! What are you doing?!” She tried to get up, but Sasha managed to overpower her momentarily, keeping her firmly on the ground.

“MIKASA STOP! PLEASE!” She pleaded at the top of her lungs. Rationally, she knew you were the enemy now, but she’d be damned if she let you die here, after everything the two of you had been through.

“Sasha, you can’t—!”

“I DON’T CARE!” She screamed. “YOU AREN’T GONNA HURT HER!”

Mikasa took quick advantage of Sasha’s emotional state and hurled her off, and she tumbled into a heap a few feet away. With little hesitation, Mikasa reequipped her blades.

But it was too late.

“Bertholdt! Y/n!” Reiner barked, lighting already manifesting around him.

The two of you looked at each other with horrified understanding, and prepared your own transformations.

Sparks of electricity surrounded you, and panic filled adrenaline exploded into flesh. Limbs shot out around you, plus the familiar hardened skin of the Armored, the skinless muscle of the Colossal, and the cloudy white body of your own titan.

Seconds passed, albeit one’s that felt like centuries, and you finally opened your eyes. You stood tall on top of the wall; 15 meters high. To your right, Reiner. And behind him was Bertholdt. Only half formed due to the space, and his lower body ceased to exist. Ribs shot out and dug into the stone, and powerful gusts of steam shot off of his body.

The terrified pawns on the wall stared up at you, mouths agape. But the shock didn’t last long.

The hurricane of steam that came off of Bertholdt started to throw things around, and those who didn’t make quick use of their ODM gear were sent flying. One of those figures, Eren, was quickly swept up by Reiner in the chaos.

It was no use, though. That’s why you weren’t surprised in the slightest when he bit his hand and sparks flew, his transformation queued by a guttural scream of rage.

“Damn you... YOU TRAITORS!”

The Attack Titan formed in Reiner’s hand, fist already drawn back and preparing a strike to Reiner.

In a fraction of a second, you formed a large hammer—your namesake weapon—from hardened titan skin, raising it into the air with a passionate battle cry.

The hammer struck Eren in his flank, and he flew abruptly to the left. You shot Reiner a look, and he looked down in understanding, drawing his arms back in preparation for a charge.

Eren had stood up by the time Reiner had started his charge, and immediately braced for impact—he didn’t have the time to move.

Reiner collided with Eren, and knocked him to the ground effortlessly, his greater size and weight being of good use.

The two wrestled on the ground, and you hesitated to intervene. After all, your weapon was powerful, but imprecise. You couldn’t risk accidentally hitting Reiner. Instead, you turned around, assessing the situation on the wall, where Bertholdt had been unceremoniously shackled.

It seemed no one was brave enough—or rather, stupid enough—to approach the colossal in it’s torrid state, and you didn’t know if you should be frustrated or grateful.

But, out of the corner of your eye, a figure swung. Your eyes widened slightly in amusement as ODM gear shot from tree to tree, approaching you at in impressive speed. Hmph. Guess someone is stupid enough after all. You thought.

You were about to swipe them away without a second thought, but you faltered at the sight of auburn brown hair, loosely tied into a familiar ponytail.

You must’ve gotten a little distracted by the sight, because you were suddenly brought back to attention by the figure landing on your shoulder, the hooks of their ODM gear digging into your shoulder, which you assumed were used as leverage mere seconds ago.

You turned your massive head to look at it, and you saw the figure gasp and tremble at the sight. Sometimes, you forgot how terrifying your titan was. But you perked up for a moment, brought out of your violent trance by a familiar face.

“Y/N!” It was Sasha. “Y/n, what is going on here?!”

You opened your mouth to respond, and it came out in a gravely, deep tone because of your titan form. “Sasha...?”

She released the grapples of her ODM to run up and hug your neck—the best she could, that is, with your immense size.

“Y/n! Come on! Why didn’t you tell me! This... this isn’t you... tell me there’s a reason!!!” She screamed.

Turning back to observe Eren and Reiner’s struggle, you sighed internally. It was just like her to get too emotional in a situation like this.

You turned back to Sasha with a sad look in your eyes. Carefully, you brought your hand up to pinch the hood of her Scout jacket, lifting her and placing her back down on top of the wall.

Slowly, you crouched down to her level, meeting her eye to eye despite the pain it caused you to see the heartbroken look in her eyes. Your hand curled around her back to support her, the only kind of pseudo-hug you could give at the moment. Your thumb gently made its way to the top of her head, and you moved it down slowly to caress her head. Tears streamed down her face, the internal conflict being far too much for her to bear.

But a sudden mass to your lower back brought you out of your intimate moment with her. Pain shot up through your body as you felt your back collide with the ground, and your eyes opened in horror. Eren had somehow managed to best Reiner in their scrimmage—and he was after you now.

You started to form the base of your hammer in your hands once again, but a forceful punch to your jaw stopped it’s formation out of the shock and pain.

Another fist made it’s way to your face—and another, and another, and another. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you could hear noises. Roaring, growling, and, the loudest of them all, screaming. Though, in your state, you couldn’t discern if it was even you or not.

Eren delivered his last punch with a frightening roar of passion, and your neck twisted at an unnatural angle as your head snapped off the titan body with a horrid, bone-grinding sound.

Your battered body fell out of the nape of the titan, using what was left of your strength to emerge at the last second. It was all you had in you, though, and the last thing you heard was your own heavy breathing and distant shouting as your vision started to vade.

Eren stood up tall, towering over your unconscious body, raising his fists in the air with a triumphant roar of victory, the cheers of soldiers filling the air.

Filled with adrenaline and ego, he picked up your limp body in his hand, dangling your body over his already opened mouth.

He was going to eat the Warhammer—right here, right now.

That is, until a foreboding cracking noise brought his attention away from you. It took a few seconds for him to locate the source. The Colossal Titan.

It’s bones snapped and ground against one another, it’s massive body slowly shifting like a collapsing skyscraper. It twisted, turned, and groaned until it slowly lost it’s iron grip on the wall—and it was heading straight for Eren.

It’s body collided with Eren, and the force of the impact was comparable to that of an earthquake. Smoke rose from the ground as dirt was upended, trees crackling and snapping as chunks of rock flew up and around from the impact area.

The force of the impact sent you flying through the air. It didn’t take any hesitation, though, for your girlfriend to go flying through the air, catching your bloody body in her arms and wrapping herself around you to keep you safe as she hit the ground and slid against the dirt.

She groaned audibly from the pain, gritting her teeth in a feeble attempt to numb the painful sensations. But, her pain suddenly subsided when she laid eyes on you.

Your lower half had been all but obliterated. Your legs were completely crushed and squeezed out like an old container of toothpaste, and blood gushed from your stomach. She tried in vain to ignore the sight of your snapped bones twisting at odd angles and protruding through your skin.

Panicked, she brought an ear to your chest, desperately searching for that steady rhythm of life beating in your chest.

She had never taken a deeper sigh of relief than she did now, overjoyed at the slow heartbeat you clung onto. It was weak, yes, but you were still here. With her. That’s all that mattered.

Steam slowly rose from your stomach as your body attempted to heal your wounds. Even in a situation like this, your body managed to find the strength to start recovering.

She cradled your body to her chest, sobbing out in both relief and distress as you bled out onto her. Her clothes were already stained red, and her hands were sticky with morbid crimson, but she didn’t care. She held you close, as close as you could possibly be without her physically crushing you, catching her breath and calming herself to the sound of your shallow breaths.

It was a short-lived moment, though, as a dark shadow suddenly covered the ground, and Sasha froze with fear with you in her arms. By the shadow alone, it was impossible to tell if it was Eren or Reiner, and she didn’t want to check. She curled around you, crying quietly in preparation of getting crushed.

But it didn’t happen. A large finger instead placed itself on Sasha’s shoulder, pushing her out of the way to observe your injured state. Her body trembled fearfully as she turned to face it, and was met with the Armored Titan.

She wasn’t sure what to expect next, really. It could’ve crushed her like an ant and ran away with you, or worse, separated her and run off with just you.

She didn’t want to be apart from you. Even if it made her a terrible soldier, even if it made her treasonous, dishonorable, and irredeemable, she would stick with you, no matter whose side you were on. Right or wrong, she was staying with you.

Reiner hesitated for a moment. He couldn’t just bring a Paradis soldier back, it would be a huge problem down the line. But, his eyes glanced to you. He was certain that if he left Sasha there without you, you would never have forgiven him.

So, he cut his losses and gently scooped the two of you up in his hand, holding you and her close to his chest as he started running—god knows where to. She caught a glimpse of a Bertholdt in his other hand, as well as Ymir, still unconscious and strapped to her stretcher.

And Eren. Somehow, Reiner had the severely injured and incapacitated shifter quite literally in the palm of his hand.

Sasha knew that once people slowly started waking up, the fighting would only continue, but she savored this moment. Even if you were bleeding and hurt, your face looked peaceful. As odd as it sounded, she felt content with you in this moment.

As Reiner ran further and further from the wall, Sasha glanced over his shoulder, watching as the faces of her former comrades as they faded into the background.

I wish somebody cared for me the way Sasha cares about Y/n in this fic lmaooo

#attack on titan #attack on titan x reader #aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin x reader #sasha braus #sasha blouse #sasha x reader #sasha braus x reader #sasha blouse x reader #angst

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doublerainebow · 3 years

Text

Artist Resources (Part 1?)

This is basically just going to be a bunch of resources I have found to be useful. I can’t say that I’ve used all of them, but I’m sure they’re all worth checking out.

I’m also gonna try to put a detailed description for most of the links so you have a better idea of what you’re getting. I apologize in advance if some of them are redundant lol

(I put “Part 1″ if in the case I make another one)

~Links to Tutorials, Tips, Resources, etc~

Another Resource List -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Apparently, the post isn’t mobile-friendly, so it’s suggested to view this on Tumblr browser. Has a bunch of other links. I’ve checked out a few of them (mainly the copyright stuff lol), and it seems that some of the links may be a bit outdated. Still, it doesn’t hurt to check out the links.

Arms and Legs -- Leads to another Tumblr post. A handy tutorial on elbow and knee placement.

Art & Game Dev -- This leads to my personal playlist of a bunch of YouTube videos. Has a bunch of tutorials and interesting videos that I’ve collected over the course of a few years lol.

Blamblot -- A website that contains resources and tutorials on comic lettering. This is primarily in reference to western comics, but it doesn’t help to take a looksie.

Commission Calculator -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps artists to stop selling themselves short.

Comparing Heights (hikaku-sitatter) -- A height comparer for centimeters.

Comparing Heights -- A height comparer for feet and inches.

Mouth Shapes and Lip-Syncing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Useful for... drawing mouth shapes.

Reference Angle -- Useful for when you’re trying to map out a face from an odd angle.

Soft Proofing for Printing -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Helps when you’re trying to make prints of your artwork.

Textures -- A website full of different and mostly free textures. While this website is made for 3D texturing, it can also be useful for 2D drawings. Signing up gives you 15 free credits everyday, and you can use those credits to download some textures for free.

The Models Resource -- A website of models ripped from a wide array of games.

The Spriters Resource -- A website of sprites ripped from a wide array of games.

The Textures Resource -- A websites of textures ripped from a wide array of games.

~Links to Stock Images~

Please check out whatever policies they may have for their images before using them!

(not sure if any of them are active anymore as I followed some of these accounts a long time ago when I used to be more active on Deviant Art lol)

adorkastock (formerly senshistock)

anatoref -- Leads to another Tumblr post. Has a bunch of hand photo references

charligal-stock

HumanAnatomy4Artist -- Does contain nudity

null-entity

PhelanDavion

RobynRose

~Links to Other Artists~

Akihito Yoshitomi -- Yoshitomi is a mangaka who has tutorials on manga making. He also has an insightful series in which he drafts and draws a 30-page manga in 18 days. Remember that every artist works differently and his process may be different from another’s.

Drawfee -- Drawfee is an improv drawing show of four artists: Nathan Yaffe, Jacob Andrews, Julia Lepetit, and Karina Farek. While they don’t have tutorials in a sense, their videos explain the different processes they go through as they draw. They also occasionally provide tips, tricks, and resources in their videos. They do have another channel and a Twitch channel where they host drawing classes in addition to other fun shenanigans.

EtheringtonBrothers -- Has a bunch of useful and eye-catching tutorials called “How to Think When You Draw”.

Mark Crilley -- Mark is a comic artist, specializing in manga, who has a bunch of tutorials about anatomy, perspective, comic making, and other things.

Miyuli -- Miyuli is an artist who posts tutorials on their Twitter. Their tutorials range from anatomy to clothing to other things. They even have a few books of art tips. Currently (as of the time of posting this), their 2018 version is free for download, so I highly recommend you download that. Some tips may be outdated, but they should still be helpful.

Whyt Manga (Twitter/YouTube) -- Odunze is a comic artist, specializing in manga, that has a bunch of tutorials on manga making and drawing characters of color.

~Links to Free Programs~

Blender -- A free 3D program if you’re into 3D modeling and such. I also personally haven’t used Blender (I use Maya lol), but I know it’s a respectable program.

Krita -- A free painting program if you can’t afford Photoshop or Clip Studio Paint. I personally haven’t used Krita, but I have recommended it to a few friends and they have positive reviews about it.

Paint Tool SAI -- Okay, this one isn’t free, but it’s a significantly cheaper painting program where you don’t have to pay a subscription. It’s 5,500JPY (~50 USD). I’m not sure how well it still works on modern computers (the last update was 2016), but I still use it here and there because I love the pen tool feature it has, and it still works like a charm for me.

~General Tips From Raine~

Raine admits that she’s guilty of not following her own advice, but Raine hopes that the tips that she does know will be beneficial to someone who will follow them. She’s also going to keep all her tips under the cut so as to not make this post a huge wall of text (even though it technically already is lol)

Also, if you have some resources, tutorials, tips yourself, please feel free to send them to me and maybe I’ll make a part 2 to this post!

ALWAYS LOOK FOR REFERENCE. This should really go without saying. You can’t draw from life if you refuse to observe life itself.

If you can’t find the exact thing you need, MAKE YOUR OWN REFERENCE. Time and time again, I can’t find something exactly that I need. So instead, what I do is that I take pictures of my own reference. Sometimes I even grab a friend and take pictures of them doing whatever it is I need.

Have a mirror handy when you’re drawing. Sometimes what you need is actually right there in front of you.

Having trouble drawing something? Do some studies. Take the time to understand what it is you’re drawing. I can’t remember the exact story, but I heard that the people who were working on Tarzan were having a hard time drawing his hands. So, what they did was spend a few hours looking at hands to try and understand how they work.

IT’S OKAY TO STUDY THE ART OF OTHER ARTISTS. Just as we look to the old masters as a reference, it’s definitely okay to look at modern-day artists for reference. Just don’t go copying exactly everything that they do, or worse, trace what they do. Just don’t do it... at all.

Not every line needs to be realized. The viewer of your work will automatically connect the dots.

DO NOT TRASH YOUR OLD DRAWINGS. Please, never ever do this. Your old drawings have value to them, even if they look terrible to you. Old drawings may hold ideas for things you could do for the future. They also serve as a way to see how far you’ve come as an artist.

GETTING BETTER AT DRAWING TAKES TIME AND EFFORT. You’re not gonna get better overnight. It’ll take months, or even years, to feel like you’re a competent artist, and even then, you’ll still have room for improvement.

DON’T LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF IF YOU’RE TAKING A LONG TIME TO GET BETTER. It’ll be better for your mental health in the long run.

Alternatively, DON'T LOOK DOWN ON OTHER ARTISTS EITHER, ESPECIALLY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER. You know the struggles it took for you to get where you are, so don’t go putting down other people when you’ve been in their shoes once.

KEEP DRAWING. If you’re not making an effort to get better, then you’re not going to be better. I get that it’s hard to find the inspiration to draw (I’m very guilty of this), but just keep trying. It doesn’t have to be big or spectacular. You don’t even have to post it if you’re the type who likes to post their art stuff.

Try to find references from real-life. It’ll help you better understand form, lighting, shadows, etc., especially if you’re going for a more realistic kind of art style. Otherwise, finding reference from things like cartoons, anime, comics, etc. are just as good.

Try new things. Try new art mediums. Try a different art style. Switch up the way you do things. Maybe you’ll hate it, maybe you’ll like it. Who knows if you don’t try.

Watch time-lapses (or speed draws/speed paints) of other artists!

Pinterest and Google are your friends if you need tutorials or references or whatever.

If you’re offering commissions, DO NOT WORK UNDER YOUR LOCAL MINIMUM WAGE. You are literally devaluing the work you actually put into a piece.

I like to think I’m an aficionado of Photoshop, so feel free to ask me questions on how to achieve something! I’ve used Photoshop for about 11 years now and know my way around the program. On another note, I do recommend setting custom keyboard shortcuts in Photoshop because the default shortcuts are terrible (in my opinion), and because having custom shortcuts increases the speed of your workflow.

Because I’ve been seeing this a lot lately in Twitter, you’re never too old to start in art. Art is just one of those things that anyone can pick up at any age because the only thing you really need to get good in art is time, diligence, and patience.

Try not to post hi-res images of your artwork to prevent art stealers from selling your artwork in high resolution.

Always, always, always add your signature and watermark on your artwork. I like to add my signatures and watermarks in places that’ll be hard to erase or crop out. I’ve also seen people add their signatures and watermarks in creative ways (ex. on a character’s shirt). You need to protect your work in an era where people will just blatantly steal it and make profit off your work.

Tag List

@reality-is-often-disappointing

#artists #artists on tumblr #artist tips #artist resources #art resources #artists of tumblr #art tips #art tutorial #raine rambles and muses #raine can art

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starshine583 · 4 years

Text

Crossing a Line (19)

(so this was actually supposed to be the last chapter, but it got long so I had to stop lol enjoy!)

Part 1 / Part 18 / Part 20

Felix held his ground next to Marinette, worried and terrified at the same time. He thought telling his Father about the wish would discourage him from using it, but his Father only got angry, instead, spouting nonsense about “sacrifices” and “family”. Why was he angry? There was still a cure. There was no need to fight! Why wouldn’t he listen?

Marinette stepped forward and confronted his Father’s true intentions, which only made him angrier. Felix tried to calm the situation as it escalated, but Marinette promised to get the miraculous back, while Gabriel promised not to let that happen. It wasn’t until she pulled out his peacock miraculous that Felix realized compromise and negotiation weren’t options anymore.

“Duusu, spread my feathers!” Marinette cried, quickly pinning the miraculous to the lower front of her shirt. The familiar blue light he’d gotten used to seeing flash over his skin washed over her body, and Marinette’s casual outfit disappeared. The miraculous replaced it with a royal blue dress that faded into different colored feathers such as purple, dark blue, and indigo. Her gloves and high-heeled boots, which extended to her knees and mid-biceps respectively, were also royal blue, and the ends of each were covered in a dark blue, feather-shaped pattern that trailed up to the navy blue part of the suit, such as her collar bone, neck, and thighs. A short shawl made entirely of purple feathers wrapped around her shoulders as well, connected by a small, indigo pearl. It brought out the sparkling fuchsia that lined the front and back of the royal blue dress perfectly. If it weren’t for the circumstances, Felix might have been tempted to stop and study the fabric in all its magnificence.

Gabriel’s expression twisted with rage. “How did you get that?”

Marinette unclasped one of her fans from a metal button on the back of her dress and held it in front of her, showing the sharpness of the curved tip. “Let’s say it was a present from your son.”

Felix grimaced at the look of disdain his Father shot him.

“You gave her your miraculous?!” He fumed.

“No, I-!”

“Don’t talk back to me!” His Father growled. “I should have known not to trust you from the beginning!”

Felix flinched back as Gabriel lunged forward in a fit of rage. Before they could collide, though, a feather-shaped knife sank deep into Gabriel’s shirt sleeve, pinning him to a bookshelf. Felix looked to Marinette, who was already pulling another throwing knife out of her hair. He had thought the feathers that decorated her spread out bun were simply that, a decoration.

“Felix, run!” She ordered, throwing the second knife to pin Gabriel’s other arm to the bookshelf. “Go find my miraculous!”

“I’m not leaving you!” Felix argued, taking a step back from his struggling Father. The whole reason he took her miraculous in the first place was to protect her from this exact encounter.

Marinette stepped in front of him, but glanced over her shoulder as she said, “I’ll be fine. I have Duusu. Now go!”

Felix clenched his fists. He hated the idea of leaving her alone, but he didn’t have a miraculous. Anything he tried to do now would only get in her way.

Fueled by adrenaline, Felix stumbled to the other end of the aisle and sprinted towards the Library’s entrance. He almost ran into Gorilla on his way out. Earrings, Earrings- where would Father put Marinette’s earrings if he had them? This house was enormous. They could be anywhere!

He started with the office first, checking the only hiding place he knew Father had: the safe. Felix pulled open his Mother’s painting, and.. They weren’t there. He checked behind the smaller pictures, under the books, and practically pulled everything else out. There was nothing.

“Where are you?” He grumbled to himself, lifting up another pile of books.

“So you finally show your true colors.”

Felix froze, slowly turning around to see none other than Nathalie. She stood in front of him, wearing a crap-eating grin. He should have known she would appear eventually. Nathalie was always eager to be Father’s back up.

“I always knew you weren’t worthy of Gabriel’s trust.” She said, tilting her head up with all the poise of a condescending twit.

Felix heaved a tired sigh. “And I always knew you’d be the first one to lay down and let him treat you like a dog once I came to my senses.”

He didn’t want to believe what Marinette said about Father wanting power instead of Mother, but the proof was right in front of him. If Father truly cared about their family and Mother’s well-being, he would let Marinette try to cure her! And if family wasn’t what Father cared about, what else was left but power?

Nathalie let out a snooty little laugh. “Of course you would think that. You don’t understand anything. Your Father is a loving man who is doing the best that he can to raise you two and heal your Mother!”

"Raise us?” Felix scoffed. “He barely talks to us! And right now, he’s the one standing in the way of healing my Mother. So tell me where the earrings are!”

Nathalie tisked and tilted her head slightly to the side, just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the black, circular earrings she was wearing. “They’re safe. Much safer than they were in your hands. Unlike you, I won’t be handing them back over to the enemy so easily.”

Felix shifted into a fighting position. “We’ll see about that.”

“Oh, you want to fight me now?” She asked, a smirk reappearing on her lips. When Felix didn’t answer, the smirk widened. “Good. I’ve been wanting to punch you in that perfect face of yours for years. Tikki, spots on!”

Felix’s eyes widened as Nathalie transformed in front of him. He hadn’t expected her to actually use the miraculous!

The red, magical light that covered her took away her professional suit and exchanged it with a red and black spotted costume. Black colored her forearms- save for the palms and fingers -and bottom half of her legs, acting as boots and gloves. A bit of black covered the sides of her waist as well.

“Well, Felix?” Nathalie taunted, taking one of the two yo-yos that hung on the utility belt around her hips. “You said you wanted the earrings. Why don’t you come take them?”

Felix grit his teeth. “Fine with me. Using Marinette’s miraculous will only make it more embarrassing for you when I get them back.”

Nathalie growled and slung her first yo-yo forward. Felix dodged and whipped around to grab the yo-yo string. Nathalie barely got a gasp of surprise out before he yanked on the string, causing her to fly forward. He hadn’t spent months as Le Paon lying around doing nothing. (Though that might have been part of it) No, he’d been fighting. Specifically against Ladybug and Chat Noir. He knew how her miraculous worked, and he knew it’s weaknesses. Most importantly, he knew that Nathalie knew none of that.

Nathalie hit the ground with a harsh grunt, but Felix didn’t have time to revel in her struggles. She cried out in rage and twisted her body to kick him in the legs. Felix fell forward, landing on top of Nathalie. She gasped, as he’d landed on her back, and struggled to get him off.

“Didn’t go as planned, huh?” He grunted, moving to grab one of her earrings.

Unfortunately, his attention was briefly diverted before he could. The library doors were thrown wide open when someone fell through the doorway. Upon closer inspection, Felix realized it was Hawkmoth who had gotten thrown out. Did Father transform? Where was Marinette?

Just then, Marinette jumped out of the doorway as well, still transformed and shouting for Gabriel to give up.

Felix’s thoughts were once again redirected when Nathalie bucked her body upwards, causing him to fall back onto the floor. She lifted herself to her knees a moment later and reached for her yo-yo again. Felix twirled on the floor to start getting up as well, but kicked her hand to stall the drawing of her weapon.

Nathalie drew her hand back and hissed. “Infernal child!”

“Only for you.” Felix shot back, pushed himself to his feet.

Nathalie was up a second later, and they got back to switching between chasing and hiding. She finally managed to unhook both of her yo-yos and started hurling them at Felix as fast as she could. Felix dodged them with the best of his ability, all the while jumping around the room for cover. She finally got one yo-yo wrapped around his left arm right when he reached the desk. Felix grappled for the desk chair in a desperate attempt to avoid being dragged back, but being a rolling chair, it only rolled back with him. Nevertheless, that didn’t stop him from using it to his advantage. Felix used the friction from his shoes to slow himself down right in front of Nathalie and swung the chair around with his free hand, smacking her in the side with it. Nathalie held up her forearms to block the blow, but flew to the side anyway. She slid to a stop, unfortunately still on her feet, and before Felix could detach the yo-yo from his arm, Nathalie yanked him forward once again and kicked him in the stomach.

Felix skidded across the floor, rolling to a stop at the office doorway. He sucked in ragged breaths to compensate for the air that had just been sucked out of his lungs. That was.. a decent move.

“Payback, brat.” Nathalie huffed, staggering back to regain her breath as well.

Felix lifted his head up to snap back at her when something made the words die in his throat.

“..My lady?”

Felix turned on his side to look through the office doorway, praying that he’d misheard something.

There Chat Noir stood, his cat ears flat against his head as he warily glanced between Marinette and Father, who had paused their battle to look at him. When did he get downstairs? Was Marinette trying to explain the situation?

“A- Chat Noir!” He called out. “Get back!”

He wanted Marinette to have help, but Adrien didn’t have the emotional stability to get involved. Father already had Ladybug’s earrings. If he found out who Chat Noir was, it would be nearly impossible to keep him from getting the ring.

Chat Noir’s eyes snapped to Felix’s, growing wide with surprise and worry. “Felix?”

Father followed Chat Noir’s gaze and raised a brow. Felix grimaced as he watched the gears turn in his Father’s mind, watched them click into place as Father realized how the hero knew where they were or why he seemed so worried about Felix.

“So.” Father began, turning back to Chat Noir. Felix couldn’t tell if he was delighted or angry. Probably a morbid twist or both. “My own son has been fighting against me.”

Crap.

“What?” Marinette and Chat Noir said in unison, though Marinette’s surprise was more directed towards the implication of Chat Noir’s identity.

“No wonder Felix decided to betray me as Le Paon. He must have been worried for your sake. It had nothing to do with this girl!”

Chat Noir furrowed his eyebrows. So much emotion was swirling across his brother’s features- hurt, confusion, denial. Felix could barely stand it.

“Wait..” He faltered, looking at Felix with a torn expression. “You’re Le Paon?”

“Don’t listen to him!” Felix begged, pushing himself to get up. He had to stop this. Adrien learning about Mother’s true condition was already a fragile subject in and of itself. Learning about Felix and Gabriel’s identities as the terrorists of Paris was bound to be too much. It would overwhelm anyone.

Before Felix could intervene, however, Father did the unthinkable. He detransformed. Right there. In front of everyone.

Felix couldn’t see his face, but Father’s tone was disturbingly pleased as he said, “Would I lie to you, Adrien?”

Chat Noir collapsed to the floor, staring up at their Father in horror. “No..”

“Adrien?” Marinette blanched. The surprise was a tad out of place considering the emotional turmoil that Adrien had to be going through, but Felix understood.

Unfortunately, so did Father. Saying Adrien’s name wasn’t merely for dramatic effect. He knew that Marinette and Adrien were friends in civilian form. That kind of reveal would knock her off her feet just long enough for him to detransform like he did.

Gabriel smiled at Chat Noir’s reaction, and Felix knew right then and there that he’d been played for a fool. This miraculous search was never about family. No father who truly cared for their family would smile at their child’s suffering.

Gabriel transformed again as Chat Noir was on his knees- on his knees! -and created an akuma. Felix jumped forward to stop it or get in the way, but Nathalie wrapped her yo-yo around his waist, planting him to the spot. Marinette was still too shocked to react quickly enough, so the akuma flitted forward, unbothered, and merged with Chat Noir’s bell.

“No!” Felix yelled. He jerked his body forward, pulling at the yo-yo string and pushing ahead with all of the strength he had. “Adrien, don’t do it! Resist him!”

His shouting finally snapped Marinette out of her trance, and she rushed to Chat’s side.

“Chat, it’s okay!” She tried to console despite the panic leaking through her voice. “We can get through this! Just fight it!”

“Against my Father?” Chat Noir whimpered back.

“Chat Blanc.”

Felix and Marinette held their breath when the purple outline appeared on Chat Noir’s face. Marinette threw one of her fans at Gabriel, but he easily dodged it as it twirled around the room to come back to her.

“Your brother is trying to decieve you, and your partner has misled you. I am trying to revive Emily, but to do that, I need your miraculous to do that.”

Chat Noir squeezed his eyes shut and drew his knees close to his chest, trying to drown out the words.

Marinette wrapped her arms around him. “Adrien, Minou, Kitty, please! Don’t listen to him! Come back to me.”

“Help me fight for you Mother, Adrien.” Gabriel persisted. “We can bring her back together. We can be a family again.”

“We can.. We can bring her back?”

Felix’s heart sank. “Adrien, no!”

“Don’t do it!” Marinette pleaded.

“All I need is your cooperation.” Gabriel promised.

A tear slipped down Chat Noir’s cheek, and his purple mask dropped long enough for him to look Marinette in the eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No!”

“Adrien!”

Black and purple bubbles swallowed Chat Noir whole, and Marinette scrambled backwards. When the bubbles disappeared, Chat Noir was gone, and Chat Blanc was left sitting there. His suit was the same as Chat Noir’s, except it was stark white and his green eyes were replaced with a chilling, ice blue.

Felix tensed as Adrien slowly stood up and lifted his hand towards Marinette.

“My lady..” He said, forming a ball of light at the end of his finger tips. Felix didn’t want to see what that did. “Please.. stand down and give me your miraculous. I have to save my mother.”

Marinette held up a hand as well, but it was in a calming gesture. “Adrien, I’m trying to save your mother! I have the power to heal her, but I need my miraculous back!”

Chat stalled, proving he had some of his sense left. “You can?”

Felix jerked forward again, but Nathalie kept him in the same place. “It’s true! Gabriel won’t give us Ladybug’s miraculous back because he wants to use the wish instead of letting Marinette heal her by herself!”

Gabriel glanced at Felix when he didn’t call him ‘Father’, but Felix kept his gaze on Adrien. If Gabriel thought that Felix would consider him anything close to family after this, he was more demented that Felix thought.

Chat turned his ball of light to Gabriel. “Is that true?”

“Of course not!” Gabriel spat. “They’re lying! They only want the earrings back to keep us from the wish!”

“No!” Felix protested. “The wish has a curse to it! If we use it to heal Mother, someone else will take her place and become comatose just like her! M- er -Ladybug can heal her without that consequence!”

“Everything they say is a lie!” Gabriel yelled. “They’re only trying to manipulate you!”

“Adrien, you know me!” Marinette tried again. “We’ve been partners for months, confided in each other, and risked our lives for each other. Please, I would never try to manipulate you, Minou.”

Chat Blanc turned his ever-increasing ball of light from Felix, to Marinette, to Gabriel. His face grew more conflicted and grieved with each statement. They were all shouting at him and making it worse, but Felix couldn’t help pleading. He didn’t want Adrien to do something he would regret, and Marinette was so close to him..

Felix’s blood ran cold when Chat Blanc finally broke from the pressure.

“Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!” He screamed, jerking his hand downwards. In his loss of concentration, the ball of light shot from his fingertips, slamming right into the floor. It broke a hole straight to the basement within seconds, but the decay didn’t stop there. The rust spread to the rest of the main floor, covering every inch except the steps, the library, and the office that Felix was standing in. The ground crumbled beneath them, taking Gabriel, Marinette, and Adrien with it.

“No!” Felix yelled, his heart stopping in his chest. His last fight with the slime monster flashed through his mind, when the debri and dust from the rooftop fell on top of him before everything went dark. How far was the main floor from the basement? Would Marinette survive the fall? Would anyone survive the fall? Would they live through the debri that came after?

Felix whirled around and swung his foot through the air, catching the yo-yo string and stomping it to the ground. Nathalie, shell-shocked from seeing Gabriel fall, fell forward again, and Felix took that lenience in grip to slip out of the yo-yo string and run for the opening.

Dust was flying everywhere now. He could hardly take a breath without coughing, let alone see clearly enough to find survivors. That didn’t stop him from kneeling on the ground and shouting for Marinette, though. She had to be somewhere. She would call up to him, perfectly fine, and everything would be alright.

So why couldn’t he hear anything?

Felix’s throat tightened as he screamed. He screamed her name over and over again into the abyss and didn’t hear a darned thing. It was silent, save for the occasionally crumbling of the debri below, and he was terrified. Where was she- Where was she? No, no, no, no-

“MARINETTE!!”

Panicked and sick to his stomach with worry, Felix shot to his feet and turned to Nathalie, who had just started to recover from his sudden escape. She was the only one left that had a miraculous. The same miraculous that might be able to save Marinette and Adrien if Felix could get his hands on it in time.

Nathalie barely caught a glimpse of his fist flying towards her face when he lunged at her.

~~~~~~

The room swayed in the darkness. Debri crumbled around her, yet it sounded distant, similar to an echo. Marinette drew in a breath, but immediately coughed it back out. The air was thick with dust, too thick.

She opened her eyes, hoping to make out her surroundings amidst the tan clouds around her. A large stream of light poured down on her from the gaping hole in the floor above her. Unfortunately, it was too clouded for her to see anything past the hole.

A voice floated down from above, but it was too faint to make out. She laid there for a moment, waiting to hear it again.

Nothing.

Marinette sat up despite her body’s aching protest and scanned the room again. A few chunks of debri were scattered around her, but she had thankfully been untouched, aside from hitting the ground, that is. She curled her fingers together, feeling the gaps and patterns of the metal walkway underneath her. Where was she? Had they fallen to a basement of some sort?

“Felix?” She called out, a mix of hopeful and concerned towards what she might hear in response. Did he get caught in the fall too? He didn’t have a miraculous to protect him like they did. What if he’d gotten seriously injured?

“Adrien!” She called next. It might not be the smartest idea, but akumatized or not, she wanted to make sure that her partner was alright. There was also the possibility that the fall broke his akumatized item.

Her calls were only met with silence.

Beep! Beep!

Marinette looked down at her miraculous, barely catching sight of the last feather leaving the fan before she detransformed.

Duusu fell into her lap, looking absolutely exhausted. “Sorry, Miss Marinette.. Keeping you safe from injury takes a lot of work.”

Marinette offered a smile and softly petted the top of the kwami’s head. “It’s alright, Duusu. You’ve done plenty.”

Cupping the kwami in her palms, Marinette pushed herself to her feet and looked around. The dust was finally starting clear a bit, just enough for her to make out the room she’d fallen into. A grated, metal pathway led from the piled debri behind her to a small, garden-looking area up ahead. A flickering light above revealed some sort of casing in the middle of the greenery, also untouched by the caved in floor.

Curious, Marinette wandered towards it. The sides of the case shone as bright gold under that flickering lights, and the glass on top gave a white glare, making it hard to see through at first.

It’s strange, She thought, to put such a large and beautiful case in a basement where no one will see it.

Why go through the trouble of making it at all? Was it simply not finished?

She cupped her free hand on the glass and peered inside. Whatever this held- if anything -had to be extremely important. The flickering light didn’t help her to identify anything. It only allowed her to gather bits and pieces at a time. Something white was inside.. An outfit? It looked like a manikin was wearing it. But then she noticed hair. Golden hair that looked exactly like Adrian’s. And the face..

Marinette almost dropped Duusu from shock.

“Emilie!” She gasped, not wanting to believe what she was seeing. Had Mlle. Agreste been here this whole time? Who keeps someone locked up like this?

“Well, Mlle. Dupain-Cheng.”

Marinette whipped around, pushing herself against the case from reflex. Gabriel stood in front of her, somehow still transformed, and he had a horribly malicious grin on his lips.

The debri must have missed him too.

“Now you truly know all of my secrets.” He mused, gesturing to the glass coffin behind her. “But I see it has cost you.”

Marinette held Duusu closer to her chest. She scanned the room behind Gabriel, but didn’t see Chat Blanc anywhere. “Where’s Adrien?”

Gabriel raised an uncaring brow. “I’m sure he’ll find his way back to the fight soon enough.”

Marinette shot him a glare. “How can you say that? He’s your son! Don’t you care about his well being at all?”

What if he’s hurt? Or worse, dead! She doesn’t have her miraculous to bring him back this time!

Gabriel scoffed. “The sooner you stop resisting, the sooner he will be healed with the miraculous. It’s ludicrous to care about injuries when they are easily reversible.”

“He still goes through the pain!” She couldn’t help yelling. “What about that?”

“He’ll forget the pain.” Gabriel snapped back. “After all, it’s only temporary.”

Marinette grit her teeth, but when she opened her mouth to reply-

“You would think that.” A voice took the words right from her mouth.

She looked up just in time to see someone swing in from the main floor. Although she couldn’t make out the face, Marinette recognized the voice immediately.

“Felix!” She cried, relief filling her chest. He must have avoided the fall. And he had her miraculous!

“Marinette.” He replied almost instantly, pure relief leaking through his tone as well.

Gabriel scowled at the boy as he entered their vision. A black and red costume indeed covered his body, signifying the fact that he was the new wielder of the Ladybug miraculous.

“Where’s Nathalie?” Gabriel barked.

Felix pulled one of the two yo-yos off of his waist- why didn’t she ever think of having two yo-yos? -and smirked. “Safe. And out of your reach.”

Marinette smiled at the mocking comment, but Gabriel was less than amused. He sprang forward with a growl, causing Felix to jump back so he could keep the distance between them. Marinette remembered having to fall back to use her weapons properly. She always hated leaving Chat at the front lines, but long distance was her best vantage point when it came to yo-yos.

Felix swung both yo-yos in two perfect circles at his side as he moved backwards. As soon as he got the chance to pause in his movements, he threw the first yo-yo forward and latched it onto Gabriel’s staff, easily wrapping around it in a tight hold. Gabriel smirked at the supposed attack and yanked back on the staff to draw Felix forward, but Felix, expecting the reaction, immediately let go of the first yo-yo and threw his other yo-yo forward, quickly wrapping it around Gabriel’s arms and rendering them useless. He then dug his feet into the ground and pulled as hard as he could.

Gabriel yelped as he flew towards him, and with the new momentum, Felix literally swung Gabriel in a circle around the room. Marinette watched with wide eyes as the man crashed into a few debri piles. If she didn’t know any better, she might have thought that Felix had been using the Ladybug Miraculous all along. His movements were planned and meticulous. Even as he threw Gabriel back onto the metal walkway right in front of her, Marinette stood still, not feeling the need to flinch. It was glaringly obvious that Felix knew what he was doing.

“Give up.” Felix ordered, pulling the yo-yo string tighter around Gabriel as he stepped closer. “This battle is over.”

Gabriel, through coughs, looked up to sneer at Felix. Marinette thought he was going to go on a rant about disloyalty or vengeance, but, strangely, his head only cocked to the side slightly.

“Yes, I believe it is.” He replied, his voice bone-chillingly gleeful.

Marinette’s gaze snapped upwards, just behind Felix where Gabriel was looking. A white figure had appeared in the dust and debri, standing with their arm raised directly at her and Felix.

Her eyes widened.

“FELIX, LOOK-”

It was too late. The white blast of light hit the metal grate directly to their left, causing a destructive blast that pushed all three of them back. Gabriel took Felix’s imbalance as an opportunity to escape his bounds and scramble away from them. Marinette, however, groaned from the backlash of the blast and rubbed her head. Was there supposed to be a high-pitched ringing in her ears?

Through squinting eyes, she tried to search for a way out, all while fighting back a fresh headache. With Chat Blanc on his feet and fighting again and with Duusu still resting in her hand, Felix had no chance of winning this fight, especially now that Gabriel was free.

A hand gently grabbed her shoulder, and she looked up to see Felix next to her.

“Marinette.” He whispered, looking her over for injuries.

“Felix.” Marinette sighed in relief, putting her hand on his. He’s okay.

Felix glanced over at Chat Blanc, who was quickly approaching. “I need to get you out of here.”

Marinette’s grip on his hand tightened. “I’m not leaving you.”

“Yes!” Gabriel cheered before Felix could reply.

Maniacal laughter erupted from the man as he spread his arms out wide. “Well done, Adrien! Now, help your Father bring our family together again and get their miraculous!”

Marinette pulled Felix closer, preparing for the worst. If she was to truly die during this battle, at least his face would be the last thing she sees.

Chat Blanc, who had walked fully into the light at this point, stopped a few feet from Gabriel. His eyes bore into the man, blank and soulless.

Marinette’s hand dug into Felix’s, and they exchanged glances. Something wasn’t right. Before the fall, Adrien had been showing the most conflict and emotion she’d ever seen in her life, but now he looked.. He looked empty, hollow.. gone.

Slowly, Chat Blanc raised his hand again, this time aiming his blast right at Gabriel. “I have no father.”

A shiver ran down Marinette’s spine, and Felix sucked in a breath next to her. Whoever stood in front of them now, it wasn’t Adrien.

Gabriel staggered back a step, pure terror in his voice as he stuttered, “W-What?”

Chat Blanc stepped forward, the ball of light growing in his hand.

“Don’t worry.” He remarked, his tone completely devoid of emotion. “After all, ‘Pain is only temporary’.. Right?”

The ball of light shot from his fingertips, hitting Gabriel directly in the chest. Gabriel opened his mouth to scream, but the decay swallowed him whole before his voice could even reach the air. Marinette gasped, watching Gabriel’s ashes fall to the floor. Did that really just happen?

Chat Blanc stared at the pile of dust, not an ounce of regret on his face. Marinette noticed that there wasn’t any satisfaction in his expression either.

He looked up, locking eyes with her, and Marinette tensed. Felix leaned forward enough to put a protective arm in front of her. Chat Blanc, noticing the shift, glanced at Felix as well. Then he started to move towards them, his steps slow and dragged out.

“Easy, there..” Felix muttered, bringing his yo-yo forward.

Marinette held her breath. If he could kill Gabriel- gosh, he killed him! -then he could get rid of them just as easily.

Chat Blanc stopped in front of them, his eyes still focused on Marinette. She met his gaze, not daring to look away.

If you’re anywhere in there, Adrien, please..

Suddenly, Chat Blanc dropped to his knees, rattling the metal walkway. Marinette flinched, but didn’t back away. In fact, she found herself reaching forward. He looked so broken, so lost..

“Please..” He croaked, a single tear streaming down his cheek. “Save me.”

Marinette’s heart shattered at the words, and she brushed his tear away. “Of course, kitty.”

She looked to Felix, who nodded and stood up. He quickly called his lucky charm, and on queue, Marinette broke the bell around Adrien’s neck. The akuma fluttered out, and Felix slung his yo-yo forward to capture it.

“Oh, wait one second.” Marinette spoke up, grabbing his arm before he could throw the miraculous cure.

Felix gave her a questioning look, and she gestured to the pile of ash behind her.

“I have to get something.”

With a quickness, for Chat’s sake, Marinette hopped over to Gabriel’s- er -remains and knelt down next to them. She cringed as she reached forward, pushing through the uneasiness to move the ash around. It had to be there somewhere..

“Ah- hah!” She sat up, taking the butterfly miraculous with her. Master Fu had mentioned a while back that the miraculous were indestructible, and Marinette didn’t want Gabriel to keep his powers when he was resurrected. That would be like falling into a torturous loop of fighting, especially since Chat won’t remember anything when the cure is cast.

“Okay.” She said, jumping back over to Felix with the miraculous in hand. “Do it.”

Felix nodded and threw the lucky charm into the air. Marinette closed her eyes as the Ladybugs washed over her, allowing a small smile to spread across her lips. She’d always wondered what it would be like to be on the other side of this.

“Don’t worry.” She whispered to Chat Blanc, running her hands through his snow white hair during their last moments together. “I promise you’re gonna be okay.”

We all are.

Tag List: @im-here-for-the-content @novicevoice @mewwitch@minightrose @starlit-winter @multishipper1needshalp@unabashedbookworm @unholykrow @trubel43@kaydenth3gayden @stardustrevoutionx @legendaryneckjudgestudent @aurordraws @crazylittlemunchkin @uwuteamleader @chocolatecustarddanish @iambi-thilla-meena @corabeth11 @asianfrustration13 @chrismarium @agumon1123 @luciferge @yue-caelum @persephonebutkore @constancetruggle @make-the-stars-stay @johnlockfeelz @imfreakingmagical @tinybrie @procrastinatingrightnow @bee-wrecker @dontcallmecedge @shadowhex99 @daminette-is-life @thethirdwheelfriend @myazael @sizzling-fairy-oil @sparkle9510 @chaosace @the-navistar-carol @sannsibarr @grumpy-vixen-kitten @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @utcaro @more-or-less-human-i-guess @mlbutatbspofsalt @dawn-the-rithmatist @artcart0n @mermaidreject @tori-mmm @fifaanayd @novicevoice @dreamykitty25 @mischief-not-managed-posts @amayakans @arsaem @athena452 @pink-and-bunny @wannajointhecrabcult @theymakeupfairies

#Felinette #Le Paon AU #Marinette #Felix Agreste #Crossing a Line

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aelin-queen-of-terrasen · 4 years

Note

Hi!!! ilysm💓💓it's my birthday tomorrow so will u bless us with some doraelin smut?? i saw someone ask about it and now i cant get it out of my head lol! Thanks and keep writing beautifully!!

happy birthday love, and sorry this came out so late. I tried my best. hope this will be an acceptable birthday gift. hope you had an awesome day!

note: you asked for smut and I tried, but it was abominable so I did fluff instead.

Queen Of Glass

Ship: Dorian x Aelin.

Genre: Fluff + Smut.

Summary: A rewrite of the final scenes of queen of shadows where Rowan and Aelin are only best friends and she has a different prince in her heart.

---------------------------

It was going to kill her.

He wanted it to.

Her face—that face—

He neared the woman, step by step across the narrow, shaded bridge, the turrets high above them gleaming with blinding light.

Blood covered her arms, and she panted as she backed away from him, her hands out before her, a gold ring shining on her finger. He could smell her now—the immortal, mighty blood in her veins.

“Dorian,” she said.

He did not know that name.

And he was going to kill her.

-------------------------

Time. She needed to buy more time, or steal it, while the bridge still lay in shadow, while the sun slowly, slowly moved.

“Dorian,” Aelin pleaded again.

“I’m going to rip you apart from the inside out,” the demon said.

Ice spread across the bridge. The glass in her back shifted and ripped into her with each step she retreated toward the tower door.

Still the clock tower had not come down.

But the king had not yet arrived.

“Your father is currently in his council room,” she said, fighting the pain splintering through her. “He is in there with Chaol—with your friend—and your father has likely already killed him.”

“Good.”

“Chaol,” Aelin said, her voice breaking. Her foot slid against a patch of ice, and the world tilted as she steadied her balance. The drop to the ground hundreds of feet below hit her in the gut, but she kept her eyes on the prince even as agony rippled down her body again. “Chaol. You sacrificed yourself. You let them put that collar on you—so he could get out.”

“I’m going to let him put a collar on you, and then we can play.”

She hit the tower door, fumbling for the latch.

But it was iced over.

She clawed at the ice, glancing between the prince and the sun that had begun to peek around the corner of the tower.

Dorian was ten steps away.

She whirled back around. “Sorscha—her name was Sorscha, and she loved you. You loved her. And they took her away from you.”

Five steps.

There was nothing human in that face, no flicker of memory in those sapphire eyes.

Aelin began weeping, even as blood leaked down her nose from his nearness. “I came back for you. Just like I promised.”

A dagger of ice appeared in his hand, its lethal tip glinting like a star in the sunlight. Something flickered in his eyes but then it was gone, hidden behind that same unfeeling mask. “If you were smart, you won't have,” Dorian—no, not Dorian—the demon inside him said. "I told you you'd regret sparing me."

But she didn't regret it even as she looked into those cold, sapphire eyes, not as she shoved a hand between them as if she could push him away, grabbing one of his own hands tight. She couldn't find it in herself to regret sparing his life at all, not even as he plunged his knife into her side.

--------------------------

Aelin crawled away from the door stained with her blood, away from the Valg prince who laughed as she clutched at her side and inched across the bridge, her blood a smear behind her.

The sun was still creeping around that tower.

“Dorian,” she said, her legs pushing against the glass, her blood dribbling out from between her freezing fingers, warming them. “Remember.”

He needed to remember. Not another loved one—she would not, could not lose another loved one.

The Valg prince stalked her, smiling faintly as she collapsed onto her front in the center of the bridge. The shadowed spires of the glass castle loomed around her—a tomb. Her tomb.

“Dorian, remember,” she gasped out. He’d missed her heart—barely.

“He said to retrieve you, but perhaps I’ll have my fun first.”

Two knives appeared in his hands, curved and vicious.

The sun began glinting just above the tower overhead.

“Remember Chaol,” she begged. “Remember Sorscha. Remember me.”

A boom shook the castle from somewhere on the other side of the building.

And then a great wind, a soft wind, a lovely wind, as if the heart-song of the world were carried on it.

She closed her eyes for a moment and pressed her hand against her side, drawing in a breath.

“We get to come back,” Aelin said, pushing her hand harder and harder into her wound until the blood stopped, until it was only her tears that flowed. “Dorian, we get to come back from this loss—from this darkness. We get to come back, and I came back for you.”

She was weeping now, weeping as that wind faded away and her wound knitted closed. "I love you! Please," she begged. "You have to remember."

The prince’s daggers had gone slack in his hands.

And on his finger, Athril’s golden ring glowed.

“Fight it,” she panted. The sun angled closer. “Fight it. We get to come back.”

Brighter and brighter, the golden ring pulsed at his finger.

The prince staggered back a step, his face twisting. “You human worm.”

He had been too busy stabbing her to notice the ring she’d slipped onto his finger when she’d grabbed his hand as if to shove him away.

“Take it off,” he growled, trying to touch it—and hissing as though it burned. “Take it off!”

Ice grew, spreading toward her, fast as the rays of sunlight that now shot between the towers, refracting across every glass parapet and bridge, filling the castle with Mala Fire-Bringer’s glorious light.

The bridge—this bridge that she and Chaol had selected for this purpose, for this one moment at the apex of the solstice—was smack in the middle of it.

The light hit her, and it filled her heart with the force of an exploding star.

With a roar, the Valg prince sent a wave of ice for her, spears and lances aimed at her chest.

So Aelin flung her hands out toward the prince, toward her friend who had always been so much more than just that, and hurled her magic at him with everything she had.

------------------------

There was fire, and light, and darkness, and ice.

But the woman—the woman was there, halfway across the bridge, her hands out before her as she got to her feet. In another life, he had known her perhaps—had even loved her. He couldn't recall her name now; the darkness shrouded his thoughts too heavily.

No blood leaked from where the ice had stabbed her. Only clean, polished skin peeked through the black material of her suit.

Healed—with magic.

All around him there was so much fire—her fire and light, tugging at him.

We get to come back, she said. As if she knew what this darkness was, what horrors existed. Fight it.

A light was burning at his finger—a light that cracked inside him.

A light that cracked a sliver into the darkness.

Remember, she said again.

Her flames tore at him, and the demon was screaming. But it did not hurt him. Her flames only kept the demon at bay.

Remember.

A sliver of light in the blackness.

A cracked doorway.

Remember.

Over the demon’s screaming, he pushed—pushed, and looked out through its eyes. His eyes.

And saw Celaena Sardothein standing before him.

--------------------------

They were infinite.

They were the beginning and the ending; they were eternity.

The king standing before them gaped as the shield of flame died out to reveal Aelin and Dorian, hand in hand, glowing like newborn gods as their magic entwined.

“You’re mine,” the man raged. He became darkness; folded himself into the power he carried, as if he were nothing but malice on a dark wind.

He struck them, swallowed them.

But they held tighter to each other, past and present and future; flickering between an ancient hall in a mountain castle perched above Orynth, a bridge suspended between glass towers, and another place, perfect and strange, where they had been crafted from stardust and light.

A wall of night knocked them back. But they could not be contained.

The darkness paused for breath.

They erupted.

------------------------

Dorian Havilliard had awoken alone, in a room he didn’t recognize.

But he was free, even though a pale band of skin now marred his neck.

For a moment, he had lain in bed, listening.

No screaming. No wailing. Just a few birds tentatively chirping outside the window, summer sunshine leaking in, and … silence. Peace.

There was such an emptiness in his head. A hollowness in him.

He’d even put a hand over his heart to see if it was beating.

The rest was a blur—and he lost himself in it, rather than think about that emptiness. He bathed, he dressed, and he spoke to Aedion Ashryver, who looked at him as if he had three heads and who was apparently now in charge of castle security.

Chaol was alive but still recovering, the general said. Not yet awake—and maybe that was a good thing, because Dorian had no idea how he’d face his friend, how he’d explain everything. Even when most of it was mere shards of memory, pieces he knew would further break him if he ever put them together.

A few hours later, Dorian was still in that bedroom, working up the nerve to survey what he’d done. The castle he’d destroyed; the people he’d killed. He’d seen the wall: proof of his enemy’s power … and mercy.

Not his enemy.

Aelin.

“Hello, Dorian,” she said. He turned from the window as the door shut behind her.

She lingered by the door, in a tunic of deep blue and gold, unbuttoned with careless grace at the neck, her hair loose at her shoulders, her brown boots scuffed. But the way she held herself, the way she stood with utter stillness … A queen looked out at him.

He didn’t know what to say. Where to begin.

She prowled for the little sitting area where he stood. “How are you feeling?”

Even the way she talked was slightly different. He’d already heard what she’d said to his people, the threats she’d made and the order she’d demanded. If he'd fancied himself in love with her before, he couldn't tell what to name the feeling inside of him now.

“Fine,” he managed to say. His magic rumbled deep inside him, but it was barely more than a whisper, as if it was drained. As if it was as empty as him.

“You wouldn’t be hiding in here, would you?” she said, slumping into one of the low chairs on the pretty, ornate rug.

“Your men put me in here so they could keep an eye on me,” he said, remaining by the window. “I wasn’t aware that I was allowed to leave.” Perhaps that was a good thing—considering what the demon prince had made him do.

“You can leave whenever you please. This is your castle—your kingdom.”

“Is it?” he dared ask.

“You’re the King of Adarlan now,” she said softly, but her voice was firm. “Of course it is." She rose from her seat in a smooth movement and walked to the window, only to tug him down onto the sofa behind her. Her hand cupped his face, thumb grazing against his cheekbone. He closed his eyes at her touch.

She drew her hand away.

"I tried to kill you—" he started.

She waved his hand away with an elegant gesture and leaned back into her seat. The assassin he'd once known seemed like a shadow of who she really was now. "It's no bother, you know? I find that most of my friendships begin or end in murder. I'm used to it."

His lips twitched upwards a little. "You came back," his voice broke. From the far reaches of his memory, words resurfaced. I love you, she'd shouted. "You came back for me."

Aelin's expression was tender. "You say it like you didn't think I would."

Dorian opened his mouth, searching for words, then shut it again. His brows creased in thought. "I suppose I didn't know who you were, though Chaol knew—" he held up his hand when she began to explain herself—"I'm not offended, I understand your reasons. You couldn't be sure of my allegiance. Then, I found out and I didn't—I thought the next time we met, it would be in the middle of a war and we won't be on the same side. When word reached us that you defeated the legions from Adarlan, that belief only strengthened."

"I didn't tell you who I was, not because I doubted your allegiance, Dorian."

He hadn't minded the deception. He had been hurt at first, but made his peace with it. However, the need to know grew with her words. "Then why?" he asked.

She chewed on her lip in thought. "It could have been dangerous for you to know. I couldn't risk it."

The two of them fell into a silence. Both parties searched for something to say, both unsure how their words would be received until Dorian blurted out, "I would like to see you."

Aelin cocked an eyebrow in question, trying to hide her amusement. Her mirth shone in her eyes.

"I mean," he blushed in embarassment, "I would like to see your fae form, if you want to show it, of course."

"I do," she said.

Aelin smiled at him, there was a brief flash of light and she—shifted. He noticed she looked much the same, except every feature looked sharper, each movement more controlled and graceful. The tips of her ears turned pointed, and canines poked out of her mouth when she grinned at him. "I know I'm pretty but I didn't think I'd leave you speechless. No pretty words for me? You used to have those in abundance," she joked when he still hadn't replied, though he detected the slightest hint of nervousness in her tone.

"You are... you are... " he faltered.

With half a thought, his finger traced her hollow cheekbones and watched as her face flushed with colour. He traced her earlobe, lingering on the pointed tip.

Aelin remained still, holding her breath. She felt Dorian's warm breath around her collarbone, shivering as blood rushed to her face. If any doubt remained about her feelings even after she'd shouted them at him, it would no longer hold.

Aelin loved him.

Impulsively, Aelin angled her face so her lips brushed with his in a featherlight kiss. His lips were impossibly soft beneath hers, and with some reluctance, she pulled back.

Dorian looked pained. "Aelin, I—"

Aelin's heart raced, all her doubts resurfacing but remained composed. "Oh dear, was it really so bad? You look like I struck you with a hammer," she said with an arch smile.

Dorian didn't smile back. "I can't—"

"I know," she whispered softly in reassurance, "I do not need any promises for a future together or claims of affection," it was the closest she came to an allusion to her declaration of love a few days ago, "I would like to provide comfort, Dorian, however I can. If you'd rather not—"

The following kiss that followed left no doubt of either recipient's feelings.

Dorian ran his hand through Aelin's much shorter curls, breathing in her scent. He admired the way she looked now, familiar in her essence but new in the way she handled herself—with authority, grace and confidence befitting her.

Somehow, she was still the woman he'd once loved and she wasn't.

He kissed her again, and would have continued in the activity had they not been interrupted:

"Aelin, we need you outside. Rowan pissed off some lord or another—argh, really? Gods, you two couldn't lock the door?" Aedion's face had turned scarlet, his eyes shut and covered with his hand.

Aelin snarled, "You couldn't knock?"

If Dorian hadn't been engaged in such a pleasing activity, he might have been amused at the looks of challenge on both the cousins' face. As it was, all he felt was irritation for the damned general. "Yes, well, did you come here just to irritate us or what?"

"I came," and here, the wolf of the north sneered, "to call her for assistance. If I knew she was assisting you already, I won't have come." And then, with a last 'damn you, cousin' Aedion Ashryver turned on his heel and left the room.

Dorian admitted, "I am surprised he didn't punch me."

"He barely restrained himself, I think. Be glad it wasn't Rowan," Aelin chuckled. "He won't have stopped."

Dorian said, "I'm not afraid of him."

"If you knew him, you would be." Aelin's answering smirk made his breath catch.

Though Dorian was far from recovered, for the first time in days, he looked forward to something in the future.

---------------------------

I hope y'all like this attempt at doraelin. so many people asked for doraelin after the first request, I was surprised.

tags: @thesirenwashere // @courtofjurdan // @little-crow-corvere // @the-dark-swan // @queenofgreenbriar // @clockworkgraystairs // @julemmaes // @rowaelinforeverworld // @mymultiversee // @queen-of-glass // @strangely-constructed-soul // @mijaldraws // @http-itsrebecca // @aesthetics-11 // @lord-douglas-the-third // @flowersinvegas // @aelinchocolatelover // @faerie-queen-fireheart // @sad-book-whore // @didsomeonesayviolin // @atozfantazyxx // @hizqueen4life // @the-gods-killer // @booknerdproblems // @annejulianneh111 // @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln // @b00kworm // @mysweetvillain // @curlyredqueen06 // @moondancer-204 // @thesurielships // @witchling-leonor // @ladywitchling // @amren-courtofdreams // @ifinallygavein // @jlinez // @faequeenaelin // @df3ndyr // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @bitchy-knees // @superspiritfestival // @xx-fiona-xx // @stardelia // @maastrash // @miihlovesnoone // @totenhamboys20 // @sanakapoor // @louisleblancdiggory // @abookishfreak // @maddymelv // @ireallyshouldsleeprn // @morganofthewildfire // @bellamyblakru // @theilliumbluebell10 // @jesstargaryenqueen // @cool-ish-nerd

let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

#dorian x aelin #dorian haviliard #doraelin #throne of glass #aelin galathynius #throne of glass fanfiction #tog fanfiction #tog fanfic #doraelin fanfic #rowan whitethorn #queen of shadows #sarah j maas #queen of glass #king of adarlan #aelin-queen-of-terrasen

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mason-knight-retired · 3 years

Text

follows X (but before X lol)

Every now and then, the universe gives you a gift, Mason has the barest wherewithal to think. It hands you everything you never knew you wanted - wrapped up in a stylish suit, a gold flecked eyes and six little words that change everything.

He stares at Ethan, his breath sharp on an inhale and held… held tight because he can’t have this so close, handed to him on a platter and have it taken away. Maybe it’s not real, maybe he is really just asleep on his bunk dreaming this while the stars pass outside, maybe Ajax had made good on his thinly veiled threats or maybe the fury finally wholloped him hard enough to hard to send him to the med bay-

But no, there’s no mistaking this reality or the tortured look on the face of the man in front of him. There’s no fight in Ethan now and Mason has never seen him so shattered, so weak but to Mason, he’s never been more beautiful.

“Ethan, I…” He shakes his head, raises a fist to his mouth and tries to blink back the sudden wetness in his eyes. His voice is so rough, tight through his throat when he tries to speak. “Ethan, I swear to god, this had better not be one of your games.”

There’s a flash in Ethan’s eye that Mason immediately regrets.

“If it was, do you really think I’d be here? I had to beg my way onto this ship. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life, Mason, and that’s saying something.”

“You have to know…” Panic makes Mason’s hands tremble. It’s right there. Everything he’s never let himself dream to want. It’s right there in front of him for the taking. And suddenly he’s terrified. “You have to know how I feel about you. You do know, that’s why you broke it off and now? Coming here, saying this… god, Ethan, you have to know what this is going to mean to me. What I want out of this-”

Ethan’s mouth twist twists ruefully. “Kind of counting on it, actually… If you don’t hate me.”

“Hate you? Hate you?” Mason laughs incredulously, shaking his head. “You mean too much to me to ever hate you, god. I was pissed, yeah, but don’t… don’t fucking say it if you don’t mean it, Ethan. I don’t care if you don’t, I can live with that, but don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not. I swear, Mase. I love you,” Ethan says it again, like a levee has broken and he can’t keep the words inside him any longer. Like he’s desperate to make Mason understand. “I’m in love with you and I-“

The rest of Ethan’s words are lost under the crush of Mason’s mouth.

He doesn’t remember moving. He doesn’t remember crossing the tiny space between them, only that he couldn’t hold back from touching the man in front of him after being apart for so long - not for another second, not with those words and all that they mean hanging in the air between them. He grips Ethan tight, hands around his waist and in his hair, running over the muscles of his back until they settle against Ethan’s jaw – and hold him there. Ethan returns in kind, hands up to grasp at Mason’s face, with a strangled sound that vibrates up his throat into Mason's mouth.

The need that burns through him, the feeling of Ethan against him is like coming home. The shuddering of Mason’s universe settles and shifts and clicks back into all the places it should be.

Home. Here was his home.

“Ethan,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against Ethan’s when they’re finally forced to draw apart for air. He's not sure if it’s him that’s crying or if the sounds are from the man he’s about to offer his heart to. It doesn’t matter anyway, not when he finally has Ethan’s skin under his palms and his whiskey sweet breath on his tongue. “I love you too. I’m in love with you,” he whispers, peppering kisses between each phrase. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“Mase-” Ethan’s hands are on him then, hungry and insistent, like he’s been starving for too long. The grip on Mason tightens, hard enough to bruise but Mason welcomes the bite of pain, hopes there will be marks left behind even through the dermal weave of his skin to remind him of this moment. So he can trace them and watch them bloom and know that it’s not just a fantasy and that this is real, that Ethan is really here and not just a phantom of Mason’s unacknowledged wishes.

Mason tears his lips away long enough to suck in air and catch Ethan’s gaze. He cups Ethan’s head and presses their foreheads together. His heart is beating so fast, like it might burst out of his chest at any moment and his cheeks feel damp. He’s sure he tastes salt in their kiss. “God, I missed you.”

Ethan pulls him close and Mason tucks his face against Ethan’s jaw, breathing him in. “I missed you too. I couldn’t breathe without you.”

The wave is intense when it rolls over him.

“So, why?” Mason whispers helplessly then, the one thing suddenly plaguing him. Maybe it’s not the time, but he has to know, even if a little voice inside of him tries to scream its doubt. A small shudder ripples through him and he pulls back to search Ethan’s gaze. “Why did you break it off- If you knew I loved you, and you feel the same…” Mason thinks about the last few painful weeks. That they could have been avoided.

“It may come as a startling surprise,” Ethan drawls tiredly, but Mason catches the weary smile in his voice. The relief. His own heart becomes light with the knowledge Ethan is his now and the last of the secrets between them are gone. “But sometimes I’m not always the smartest person in the room.”

Mason’s lips suddenly twitch with mock suspicion as he leans back and eyes Ethan critically.

“Alright,” he says teasingly. “Who are you really and what have you done with the real Ethan Sinclair? Did Cynthia send back a clone? Are there more of you? Because I might be into that-”

Ethan’s brows snap together in irritation and Mason finds himself pulled into another smothering hug to stop him talking. He swallows down his laugh, almost giddy now, high on life and and unstoppable, like a kid at the candy bar at party indulging in too many sweets and not even caring about the inevitable crash later because he knows Ethan will be there to catch him.

“Not even remotely funny, Huntsman.”

Mason allows himself to be stifled, just for a moment, before nuzzling against Ethan’s jaw and brushing his nose against the stubble there. He breathes Ethan in, reminds himself once again he’s not dreaming. He recognizes the struggle it took for Ethan to be here and takes comfort in the proof of it.

He presses a kiss to Ethan’s mouth in a silent apology, serious again.

“You were trying to protect me, I get it. But I never wanted protection from you, Eth. Never needed it until now. But fuck, promise me you won’t go back. Promise me you won’t ever go back. That’s not your home anymore.”

Ethan brackets Mason’s face with his big hands and stares into his eyes. “I know that now.”

“Good,” Mason lifts his chin, wanting another kiss but there’s a flicker of hesitation in the gold flecks he loves so much. “Ethan, what is it?”

Ethan glances away. “Mase, I can’t promise I won’t fuck it up-“

“One day at a time, Sabre,” Mason gives him a rueful smile, presses another kiss to the side of Ethan’s perfect jaw and grips his hips with his palms. He pulls Ethan against him, grinds slightly so Ethan knows just the effect he’s had on him, not that he could ever doubt it. “We’ll just take it one day at a time. Like we always do. It’s all we can do.”

Ethan’s eyes drift closed. “Marie could only get me forty two hours. Forty one now, probably.”

“It’s enough.”

“Is it?”

“Enough for you to show me just how much you mean it.”

Ethan’s eyes go dark like Mason knew they would. The secret thrill that it only takes a few words to ignite the embers in the man in front of him. He hopes it stays like that between them always.

Mason draws Ethan close once again, cupping the back of his head as he sweeps his lips over his first in a gentle kiss that belies the heat already starting to spark inside him. He revels in the familiarity of Ethan’s embrace, the way their bodies align flawlessly to each other as though they had been created with the other in mind - perfect counterparts to a single whole. Even their biotics hum and flow in bone deep harmony around the edges of their skin. It’s Mason’s world made right, the equilibrium that had been so shaken until now settling and solidifying into something perfect and real and eternal.

There’s one, single fundamental truth that settles into his bones: He has everything if he has Ethan.

Their kiss deepens, and Mason shivers as fingers of desire walk up his spine and greedy hands pluck at clothing and tongues and lips hungrily sweep over skin. He’s inching his hands up under Ethan’s shirt when Ethan suddenly draws back, a frown on his face, like he’s heard something in the distance he can’t parse. Mason senses it too, a fraction of a second before the door hisses open.

“What the hell?”

Ethan blinks at the small whir and click of metallic feet. “Mase, is that a Loki mech with a plant stuck to it?”

The drone toddles in and Mason wants to groan. “I’m gonna kill all of them,” he mutters, gritting his teeth instead. “I finally get you back and now I’m being cockblocked by a plant with legs?! The fuck.”

He peers around the door, Ethan at his shoulder and of course, they’re all there, even the engineer, despite Nico’s valiant efforts to herd them all away. There’s a final holler from Ben at the end of the hall before silence descends and they’re left alone again.

Mason catches Ethan’s eye, a silent exchange travelling between them before their lips twitch. Ethan laughs then, the first real laugh in weeks and Mason catches the way it lights up Ethan’s face, savours it and files it away to turn over in his mind over and over for when their forty two hours are up.

His own smile is light when he reaches for Ethan’s hand and rubs a thumb over the back of his palm. Ethan’s fingers entwine with his and grip him back tightly.

“I suppose you’d better go say hi, or Ben’s timing might be a lot worse next time.”

#mason knight #ethan sinclair #scooter roosevelt #holy shit im exhausted this was draining but im so glad its out #mason voice: wait are we boyfriends now?#lol idiots

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asteroiideae · 3 years

Note

1, 4, and 7 for the meta writer ask!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Right now, I’m primarily writing on text-based rpg forums (specifically a Harry Potter one, at the moment, because I’m still a basic sixteen year old at heart I guess lol) but I’ve recently started writing a series of vignettes based on my Scum & Villainy TTRPG party, which has also been a lot of fun! It’s difficult to measure “progress” on my text-based rpg writing, but I’ve been on the same forum for about six months now, running 12 characters, and nearly all of them are heavily involved in the plot, which I consider an accomplishment! My S&V vignettes I’ve only just begun -- debating whether or not anyone would be interested in reading them/whether I should post them up anywhere. I think what I love most about both projects is that they’re purely collaborative! I’m working with other people, their concepts, their goals, and I have come to absolutely adore using my writing (and improv) to support other people’s creative pursuits. ** gonna go out of order so I can drop my writing under a read more, if I can lol 7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree? Oh man this is such a difficult one to answer???? I don’t really spend a lot of time thinking about my writing style, honestly. I tend to write from my gut -- I don’t pre-plan a lot, I just immerse myself into my character and then whatever gets written down is what’s happening? (pour one out for my writing partners who get a rough 20 minute response without my proof-reading or editing!) But I guess probably what I’d say I’m known for in my writing circles is my strong sense of character? I’m pretty good at shifting language/pacing/style to suit whatever character voice I’m attempting to convey, and I spend most of my focus on developing those voices. lol idk I don’t consider myself particularly gifted at, or known for, anything beyond that. (Maybe, negatively, I’m bad about utilizing setting. Where the fuck is this scene taking place???? I sure as shit don’t know. I’ve been trying to work on improving that, though.) 4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Jess, you really came in with the ones I knew I’d struggle with! lol I tend not to be shy about things I know I do well, but I always squirm a little when asked what I like about my writing, for some reason. But! I’ll share two recent pieces that I liked -- gonna drop them under a read more, but I’ll say what I like about them here. 1. The first is a post from my Harry Potter rpg? I really liked it because I don’t often write hardened/wearied characters in such long-standing relationships? So getting to do an entire thread between a mutually-battered couple cleaning each up after a fight is shockingly intimate, and heart-warming, and idk I really love the way this post in particular came out, as a result. 2. I wrote this literally last night as a warm-up! In my Scum & Villainy game I swap between playing twins, and I hadn’t gotten to play as Ditha for several months, so I wanted to get back into her headspace -- which I did by writing something not in her POV? It’s very short, but I love how neatly it captures and introduces who Ditha Thorn is as a woman, without being long or complicated. from this post, if anyone else wants to receive a novel about my writing I guess.

1. Csilla Voronin & Alastor Moody (from Lightning Struck Itself) Csilla Voronin looks down at Alastor Moody, and raises her eyebrow just a fraction. "I'm in better shape than you are." It's probably true; she's still got all her parts attached, and only the one (admittedly larger and absolutely cursed) wound to contend with. What it isn't however, is entirely true. Csilla is good at lying to everyone but this man, which is why she usually deflects rather than tries to outright tell him an untruth. Her fingers gently run through Alastor's blood-matted hair. It's not worth pressing him to see someone tonight; not in the least, because she wants to tuck him into bed as badly as he wants her to. "Alright." "As if I've ever been paid a wage." The retort comes easier to her lips than the more honest answer: nothing about this relationship is above, or below, her. She draws her fingers from his hair, now safely pushed back from his ear, and studies the mess; sighs, a sound more empathetic than anything else. "It's going to hurt like a bitch." As she draws away, Csilla drops a brief kiss into the crease of Alastor's forehead, using her forearms against the tub to push herself upright. She picks up her wand in one hand, and disappears through the door into the hallway beyond - only to return a moment later with the first aid kit from the kitchen table. She drops the thing onto the sink, and begins to rummage through it. Alcohol wipes, and gauze, tumble out of the kit and into her hands, and she tucks a few between her palm and her wand. "Were you going to ask me something?" She reaches for the distraction, even as she pauses to shimmy out of her trousers, and drops them unceremoniously atop the messy sink. The first aid supplies go onto the toilet lid, while she toes out of her socks. "Or are you just tired?" Either is possible, but Csilla privately suspects the latter. Free of her socks, she balances one hand on the side of the tub, and carefully sets one foot in, nudging Alastor until she can lower herself into the water, knees trapping his thighs between them. She summons the first of the alcohol wipes into her hand with a lazy flick of her wand, and carefully tears it open. All the warning he gets is a steady, apologetic, glance -- and she presses the wipe to the soot-and-blood caked remains of his ear. Her free hand holds his shoulder back against the porcelain, and her legs pin him mercilessly down. Better to get it over with quickly, than to draw the affair out. 2. Ditha Thorn, Scoundrel (from Scum & Villainy; The Morning Glory) It’s just warm enough that the air carries the earthy aroma of cow dung; it’s hardly romantic, but that’s what spring smells like - the ground thaws, and with it, the excrement from innumerable livestock herds. The young woman sprawled on the faded plaid blanket doesn’t seem to notice it, though. She’s leaned back on her forearms, long hair brushing the blanket as she tips her head back to look at the stars. Beside her, a similarly aged boy traces a shape in the air. “Do you see it? Right there, that little blinking light.” He jabs his finger at the sky suddenly, a grin spilling out over his features. “That’s the place, I think. If they’ll take me, I’ll go there to train.” The girl’s expression cools as she narrows her eyes on that point; the youthful curves of her face going hard with disapproval. “What if they don’t?” He sighs, shrugging out of his jacket suddenly, and dropping it on the girl’s legs. For a while, the only sound is the rustling of the late winter breeze through the shorn stalks of corn in the field around them. Although the girl’s expression doesn’t change, she scoops up the leather jacket, slides her arms into the sleeves and wraps it around her shoulders. “Then I guess I’ll be stuck here, too.” He leans forward, wraps his arms around his knees. “I’m not stuck here,” the girl says suddenly. She sits up, drawing her knees to her chest in a mirror of his own posture. “I’m leaving after graduation, there’s nothing on this rock for me.” That uncomfortable silence returns, and the boy shifts back and forth, clearly trying to find a way to dispute her words - but unwilling to do so while sitting alone with her in the dark. The moons begin to creep towards the horizon, the light fades, before either of them speaks again. “Everyone’s stuck here, Ditha.” He drops his arms, pushes himself off the ground and onto his feet. “Maybe your sister’s smart enough to find a school or a job willing to take her, and maybe the Legion will take me, but what do you think you’re gonna do to get out of here?” The girl, Ditha, blinks several times - her eyes still fixed on the stars. “Sounds like a challenge.” A slight huff is the only response to her quiet statement; the boy has known Ditha long enough to know the worst thing to do is dare her to something. Instead he bends down to tug gently on the blanket. “Come on, Di. It’s time to go.” She stands up, lets him lift and shake the sandy dirt out of the blanket, watches him fold it with eyes that barely reflect the faint light in the dark. When he offers her his hand, after tucking the blanket under his arm, she shakes her head. “I’ll find my own way back to town,” she says, in a tone of voice he’s never heard before. He shrugs, turns toward his truck - she’ll probably follow, he thinks. Where else is she going to go? But when he reaches the vehicle, turns with his hand on the door, Ditha Thorn is nowhere to be seen.

#ask post #aster writes fic #lol oh my god I am so sorry this is so long #please forgive me Jess I always do this

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moldy-mold · 5 years

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Diary Post: My Thoughts and Processes on Making “Silent Strength” It’s lengthy, taking place over long period of time. Mainly written for my future-self to remember what I went through, but also for anyone who is curious. Now that the project is over, I can post without reservations. There are certain things I need to keep secret though, so if I’m vague I do so intentionally!

Basically, a lot of number-crunching, physical labor, and psychological labor.

It started off as kind of a joke tweet I made. I had enough content to make a Tales Of art book and people were receptive to it. So… I thought maybe I could go somewhere with this. A few weeks later, I suddenly had a lot of Kratos art. Like. 80% of all my Tales art was Kratos. It didn’t make sense to make a broad Tales Of book when really most of it was Kratos.

I hadn’t made a book since I was in college despite it being one of my favorite things to do. They were never art books, just some editorial design projects that totally didn’t count. This book… would be my first-ever art book.

Several times, I came close to having enough art to print a book - the last time was my large collection of Yusuke Kitagawa, but the quality wasn’t where I wanted. At that time, I was still experimenting with my iPad Pro and figuring out Procreate, so that was what I used him for.

NGL, I was pretty afraid of looking like a clown. After doing all this work, what if no one actually buys it? I was talking to some friends and they said they would buy it. It was enough for me. In the end, I’m creating something that I love. - The first thing I really wanted to work on was the cover. It needed to be epic but also mysterious (lol)… It was a good time to practice lighting and backgrounds. The cover had to be freaking Fantastic. I spent 3 days drawing nonstop. I was on vacation so I could spend full days just drawing. It was really intense. I would stop in the evenings to go for a run or else my legs would never get circulation again.

The hardest part was keeping it secret. I wanted to share it with the world right away bc I was so proud of it. Well, all I could do was show it to my parents and some close friends. They didn’t know who Kratos is, but it was obvious I was crazy about him.

Initially, I was doing some hand-lettering for the zine title instead of using a typeface. Tbh, I was so sure I was naming this zine “Blame Your Fate!” bc that is such an iconic line. But it just didn’t work with my cover, which looked… a little too serene for that. So… Silent Strength or Divine Strength? I asked around and got my answer.

But what size? All of my art has been on letter canvases. I wanted it to be large so you could see the details in the art. I’ll just start with that. - Luckily, I had all my Kratos-related art in one place. I started my InDesign file and threw everything in there just to see what it looked like. Man, I draw a lot of boxes… But I didn’t want them all next to each other. I also wanted to kinda organize it by the people Kratos hangs out with. There’s a Yuan section LOL… and a Lloyd section… and an Anna section. Idk, I tried to get some kind of order in there with a sprinkling of full spreads here and there to keep it fresh and interesting for the eyes.

I hadn’t worked with InDesign on such an intense level since college. I forgot all of the tips and tricks we learned in class. Spent some time reading on how to do things again… like adding page numbers. - I started drafting my pre-order form. It’s my first time making a google form like this. It’s kind of fun? I spent a long time on it, despite how simple it was. This was going to be my “Store” so it had to look and sound good. - My friend introduced me to charm-making. It seemed easy enough, and I wanted to give my zine more oomph. Besides, I’ve always wanted to make a charm.

I remember someone saying they’d buy a book of just the 4 Seraphim if it existed. I like them too and they lack art imo. In the end, I decided to do a polaroid charm. It’s not really that unique but I wanted Kratos to have actual friends to hang out with for once LOL.

She was going to do a group order to try to reduce the costs. I thought maybe 4 weeks would give me enough time. In the end she said I only have 2. I work well under pressure, so needless to say, I did make that deadline. I actually sketched the whole thing on the plane headed home. - After playing the game the second time, watching the OVA again, and reading “Offerings to a Star,” I have gained a real soft spot for Yuan. My friend once said, “If you weren’t stolen away by Kratos, you would be in love with Yuan.” Lol. I’ve been in a “Kratos and Yuan hanging out” mood lately, so of course I needed something good for the zine. They’re so cute together! Now… what is the bro-est thing I can draw?

I was currently in Florida for my friend’s wedding. I was friends with the groom and his best man since high school, so that makes it 10 years now. Seeing how they’re still friends after all this time, despite living in opposite sides of the country, was really moving to me. Of course, me being me, I could see Kratos and Yuan’s long friendship being similar to this, if they had gone to school together. I just had to draw it. - When I got back from vacation, I did some research on zine sizes. Mine was HUGE compared to others. I just didn’t quite realize it until I held a magazine in my hands. It really is huge…

I settled for a medium size. 7x9. I really liked how it looked. Petite but not too petite. Unfortunately resizing my book had messed up my artwork placement so I spent hours rearranging all the text and resizing my images. I found out afterwards that there’s a way to retain the format while changing the document size. Gee, that would have been helpful 4 hours ago.

Sadly, choosing a custom size booklet makes printing more expensive. But I wanted it badly enough that I’d be willing to pay for it. Letter size is just too large… - I decided to stop dragging my feet and post a promo. I just really needed a deadline for myself to get this all done before July ended. I’m happy it was well-received. A lot of people like Kratos huh…

Anyway, the pre-order is due in a week and I still don’t know what all the costs are yet. I need a physical proof ASAP to weigh at the post office! - Something possessed me one day to do another drawing. I don’t usually do painterly style (mainly because it’s really difficult and takes 10x longer) but I just REALLY wanted to push myself on this Final Piece to the zine. I wanted it to be… radiant. Almost religious. I worked on it obsessively. From breakfast to sundown. The only time I would stop was at 7pm to go running or else my legs would give out on me.

Call me crazy, but I would save my progress on my phone so I could examine it for errors during my warmup. I also spend an hour examining it for errors before going to bed. It’s a miracle I hadn’t dreamt of the painting. - I sent my files in on Sunday in hopes that they start working on it first thing on Monday…. and it HAPPENED! They finished before I even woke up. I think they start work at like 6am…

Of course, I drove over there as soon as I heard so I can get a look. “Please… please let the colors be okay,” I prayed as I was driving. I barely remember driving there, I was so lost in thought. It would be another long ordeal if I had to fix all the colors.

Thank the stars. The press proof looked BEAUTIFUL!! I was screaming to the client coordinator how much I loved it. I mean, I worried for a looooong time that everything would turn out too dark (it usually does) but it was PERFECT. I was especially worried about the cover, which contained a lot of yellow and I def did not want it to come out mustardy… But it was great in the end!

The press operator is a quiet man. He’s got a scary face and never smiles but I think he’s secretly nice. He has done a lot of favors for me in the past without my asking. He was the one to print, bind, and trim the book for me. Obviously he had to have seen what I was drawing. I wonder what he thought of it…? He walked away before I could express how happy and thankful was. He didn’t need to hear it. It was like he already knew. So cool…

I immediately took it to the post office to weigh it. I needed as much info as I could get and plus, I was dying to know for myself. This is the week I was supposed to open pre-orders and there was still a lot I needed to do. Take pictures, create mockups, pricing, etc.

NGL, all of these costs were building up fast. It was so darn expensive to make a zine while also keeping prices down. But I wanted so much more for my baby. Extra glossy cover, perfect binding!! I knew by the end of this, I probably wouldn’t make much money. It hurt a little, but I tried to think that it was for the greater good. Learning experience and all that. And creating something beautiful. Especially something beautiful of Kratos. - Pricing was really the hardest part. I pretty much threw profit out the window. However, I definitely did not want to be losing money. My dad and I had worked together to create a spreadsheet of expenses to make sure my head was above water. I followed it… loosely.

My friend came to talk to me at the right moment. I was sort of panicking at the prices. She made me realize I was thinking way too hard about it and gave me some tips based on her own experience. It really put my mind at ease talking to someone who understands my woes.

The truth of the matter is, the book is wonderfully made and has a lot of pages - countless hours of drawing. There is only so much I can do about pricing. It is what it is… I just needed to come to terms with my own worth. - Boy, what am I going to do once the zine is done? My friend says that I’ll be so over Kratos that I’ll stop drawing him (but the love remains). It’s like… all of the intense planning, working, struggling nonstop will just suddenly… stop. TBH, I’m running out of ideas. I spent it all on the zine. - Photoshoot today. I had to paint my nails purple for this occasion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get the look I wanted in the apartment. It’s just so naked without props. I think I’ll take it to a cafe for some nicer backgrounds. I talked it over with my friend and decided to do a quick flip-through of the zine as a promotional video. I used the most professional video program I had on hand… Snapchat. It actually turned out pretty legit and of course I slapped stickers on there because it’s Snapchat.

I had to tape/hide some of the pages for the video because I wasn’t actually done with the drawings. I had the printers print it anyway so I could examine it for color accuracy.

I’m really stressed about pricing now. It turns out I had a lot more international fans than I anticipated. I wish I took notes on interest earlier in the game to cater to them. I had a list of “possible buyers” and I only just now decided to check where they live? Foolish.

I did another cost analysis on paper to figure out what my goal was to make up for the charms. Right now they’ve cost me a fortune for something that was supposed to be giveaway. Other things that rack up are packaging costs, PayPal fees, and some other supplies I needed for this project.

Maybe I shouldn’t have made it 40 pages. It is an impressive number, but no one is really paying for quantity. I think 25 is a better number lol. If I had done that, I could have had my super-gloss cover like I wanted. :’(

There is hope though. And I’ve placed it in the hands of my followers to come through for me. I think I’ll open pre-orders on Saturday or Sunday, depending on what I finish. - “Losing your cool will only lead to poor decisions.”  Thanks, Kratos twitter bot. You always know what to say.

I read this post today on what makes people buy zines. Very interesting!  https://twitter.com/andythelemon_/status/1141469048653398019 - Photoshoot part 2 today. My friend and I went to a cafe nearby that had some nice atmosphere in hopes of finding the right shots. I brought all of my Kratos merch just in case. I’m glad I did though, since the tables were pretty sparse and it was difficult to capture the backgrounds without getting a bunch of random people in it too.

I would have been the photographer, but I definitely wanted my hands in the shots. In a way, it was meaningful - to show that this was made by my own two hands. Plus, I wanted to depict natural interaction with the product. It made it feel real.

The photos were cute! I feared it would look a little amateurish with all the merch in there, but I think fun was what I was really going for, not “professional.” And plus the flip-through was a Snap anyway LOL. As long as the photos have good lighting and tasteful composition, you really can’t go wrong with “fun.”

Now that I’ve finished editing my photos, there really isn’t anything holding me back from opening pre-orders. I’ve pretty much come to terms with my pricing. If I fail to break even, I’ll just have to open commissions to try to make up for it. I was telling my friend on the way home, “I gave this zine EVERYTHING I had to give. So at the very least, I won’t be disappointed in myself.” No stone left unturned, no detail left unchecked. It was perfect according to my standards. I really love my zine okay?!

I thought I was crazy for not only choosing a small fandom, I narrowed it down even further by picking ONE GUY to make this zine about. She replied, “Even if it’s small, those people who love him now must be EXTREMELY LOYAL to still be in love with a character from a 15-year-old game. All of them will want your zine.” - I went to bed that night with the intention of making the pre-order post live in the morning. I was so nervous I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake until at least 5 or 6 am. Luckily, I was able to doze off for a an hour or two before I would shake myself awake again. It was a mixture of anxiety and excitement. It was the moment of truth - to see if all my effort made a difference. Was it going to sell? - The pre-order post looked really freaking good. I’ll give it that. I even made a YT account just to post that darn preview video on tumblr lol. It was definitely fun seeing everyone’s excitement and we all just freaked out together.

I broke even! That’s what really matters. Honestly at this point, I couldn’t care less if I made profit or not. I now know how much people really like the zine and that alone made me so happy I could die.

I was particularly fascinated at Google Form’s ability to transfer all the data collected into a spreadsheet. That is extremely helpful. I spent hours organizing the data. It was really fun…?! Now I can tell who gets invoiced and who paid and separate them into categories. IT’S FANTASTIC!

Stayed up late researching how much adding tracking could be. I had a slight panic attack thinking “what if my books got lost in transit?” It would really hurt me to have to reprint books and ship them again. And then I realized I will need to fill out customs forms for all international orders. Yikes, I’m gonna be living at the post office lol. You can print them out at home if you fill out the form online but there are still some things I’m uncertain about. I may visit the post office later this week to ask all my questions. - This morning I sent out everyone’s invoices. I gave the international people the option to purchase tracking. It’s expensive… but I need to provide that option just in case.

I received a nice message from someone who offered to advertise for me on Instagram. Of course, I gave them the OK! I’m really so shocked they would do that… They said the liked the zine so much it deserved more exposure. My dude… I love you… T_T

I thought about advertising on insta myself earlier in the week. For some reason I felt it was going to be fruitless since I don’t have an art account on there with a following. So, I gave up on the idea. Hey it worked out in the end.

I’ve never been so organized in my entire life. I want this zine experience to be perfect. The people have placed their trust in me, so I cannot mess up. - Edited some pages in the zine. The typography must be perfect… It made me think back to undergrad days in graphic design school. Man, if only I can present this as a project - photos, videos, matching accessories and all. I’d probably get an A lol. - Orders slow down after the first day. The rest is just about getting new people to see the post and giving other people more time to decide.

I finished my Kratos stationery today. It’s going to be so cute. My friend said people would want to buy it but I don’t have it in me to do more products at this time. Plus, I want it to be a surprise.

Why make stationery? Well my real job (no, I don’t draw Kratos all day for a living) is a stationery designer! It would feel really wrong not to put into practice what etiquette I’ve learned in this business. Plus, I felt that it was necessary to properly thank all those who ordered. And it’s fun?

I started designing the shipping labels for the domestic orders since I don’t need to fill out a customs form for those. I wish I had sticker labels but… it’s okay. It will still look good in the end. - Every so often, I would get nervous at the amount of money I’m responsible for. Perhaps, if I had a store with existing products I wouldn’t feel this way, but the fact that the books haven’t been printed yet made me scared. I know, I need this money to even print the books in the first place, but I’m just baffled at my customers’ trust in almost a total stranger. I felt pressured that I could not let them down and lose that trust. It probably didn’t help that I watched a documentary on Elizabeth Holmes (Theranos) that day.

So, I prayed every single day that nothing would go wrong. I’d check my spreadsheet constantly for any mistakes. It was a little obsessive, but I would rather be that than overlook something.

I began collecting cardboard boxes. My plan was to cut them up to protect the books during transit. I would have preferred hard envelopes but they were a bit pricey. If I have to do more work myself, so be it.

I’ve been getting nice DMs from some buyers. I think my invoice due date scared them… I really did not intend to be strict, but I wanted people to pay now if they can rather than forget about it. This happens at work all the time, so the best thing to do is have it due immediately. It would not look good to have to wait on stragglers when I close pre-orders, so I’ll probably reach out when there is one week left. - My Kratos stationery arrived! Aww it is SO CUTE!!! My babies… I have a lot of notes to write so I got started right away. It’s going to be a lot of work trying to come up with creative ways to say “thank you,” but I don’t mind. I said I was going to put my all into the zine experience so I will.

At long last, the charm order has been put in motion. My friend said it could take a while… I hope it won’t be longer than 3 weeks. I really do not want to keep everyone waiting. I may ship out the ones who did not win a charm first. I mean, there is no reason to make those guys wait. I should ask the charm winners if they still want to wait and see if anyone wants to give it up for someone else who is more patient. Hm. - I finally stopped by the post office today to collect customs forms. I have my work cut out for me since I’m filling all of them in by hand. D:

I’m not used to international addresses so I think I’ll ask for help in checking them for spelling errors and typos. Heaven forbid I mess up on the very last part of the zine experience.

In my nervousness, I decided to reach out about invoices early on. If someone wanted to cancel, I would rather find out sooner rather than later. Everyone was really nice about paying and thank goodness they’re still excited.

Feeling kind of overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but it’s a good thing. If I don’t know what to do, I can either: cut cardboard, write letters, type shipping labels, draw more Kratos for a… possible volume 2? Someone I talked to today already said they’ll pre-order a second book if I make one. Omg I think I’ll die. But we’ll see. It’s just a joke right now haha… - Preorders end today. I had another nightmare last night that the books could not be printed properly and there was nothing I could do. Why do I keep getting nightmares about the zine! I had one a few days before about people canceling their orders when I asked them about the invoices. I’ll take these dreams with a grain of salt. I’m probably just stressed/worried but everything is going to be okay. When I open my eyes, nothing is on fire.

I received my final proof a few days ago. With all of the artwork completed and changes applied. The book looks good, no doubt about it. There was only one thing I was nit-picky about but it can be fixed. The press operator offered to print another book for me to inspect. I’ll go see it on Monday and then submit the rest of the orders. I also asked to to have a meeting with the press operator so we are on the same page. It would be beneficial to have an understanding of how my book is made so that I may be more helpful to him.

I spent the day preparing shipping labels. I hate to admit, I am not too familiar with the format international addresses so I had an address validator open as I was typing them in. For the most part, everyone was helpful in already formatting their addresses in the preorder form! - My parents called me the day after preorders were closed. They wanted to say congratulations on my success. No one thought it would do this well. I couldn’t be offended by that since I was also guilty of it. I’m happy though. It feels like my love spread across the world and was contagious.

I tried to think of what advice I would give to others. Obviously, genuine love for the subject and hard work were a necessity. But it would be good to consider value. If I were selling it at this price, I had to make sure my pieces and presentation looked the part. I ask myself, if someone else sold it, would I buy it?

I sent out messages to all the charm winners in the morning. I wanted to apologize profusely at the ridiculous amount of time it has taken to get them made. But no, I’ve got to stop apologizing. I stated the facts and left it at that. Everyone was really kind and patient⁠—to which I was thankful for. I don’t usually get that when I’m working customer service. - All the books were done printing in one day. Wow! I went to pick it up immediately of course. I can’t believe all of this is coming to an end. I finished preparing the mailers. All that was left was to stuff and seal the domestic orders. They were the easiest to do so I’m going to ship those first. The rest will need customs forms, which I haven’t filled out just yet. It’s going to be a while for those…

The mailers were quite sturdy with the cardboard cutouts I slipped in them. I have nothing to worry about. I’m sure my babies will be okay! - I took a whole box of domestic orders to the post office today. Wasn’t sure what to expect. But my clerk had to input every single address one at a time while I checked for errors. Omg, why are the post office shipping labels SO HUGE. I thought it was going to be half the size. And they’re ruining my designer labels! Slight panic but oh well…

I had a long long line behind me. I’m so sorry, people. Luckily there were two clerks or I would be really sweating. Despite my intimidating box of zines, the clerk and I had Synergy and we managed to ship all of these in about 15 minutes. I received a very long receipt and quite the bill lol. - Shipped the international orders today. I was kind of a mess since I had no idea what to do. I keep wondering if I can help speed up the process in any way but I don’t think I have the option to ship first-class at home.

When shipping international, keep the post office copy of the customs forms together with the package since they use that to type the address info into the system. Also, we get free tracking, which I did not know about. The other clerk told me that we did not get tracking for international first-class but I guess he was misinformed. It’s good to know for next time. - The charms finally arrived!! And THEY’RE HOLOGRAPHIC?! It was pretty awesome, but it makes picture-taking kind of difficult!! Anyway, I was a tiny bit disgruntled that they got my order incorrect, and I even asked for a reprint. But they said no, so I left it at that. Besides, it seems the holographic effect was well-received.

I like this size that I made. It’s really cute! Larger than your normal charm but not too huge. It’s almost like an Instax photo! - There was one customer who I found lives near me! I asked her if she wanted me to hand-deliver it to her in a public setting and she agreed (to my amazement). We finally met a few days ago and talked for hours and hours lol! I’m glad to have finally made a new friend here in this town but of course she’s moving away in two weeks. <:’3

We’re going to meet again to make the most of her time left. - I shipped the rest of the orders on the following Monday. I HAD to get these out. The poor guys have been waiting over a month! I think I picked a bad time to go because I had a huge line behind me and only one guy working. People in line were getting antsy or mad. The clerk at the other post office was super fast but not this guy…

For some reason shipping to the UK and Japan nearly doubled in price since the last time I checked. RIP. T_T - Omg I finally made a mistake. I wrote a letter to the wrong person. And the contents of that letter are too personalized!!! I am dying of embarrassment!!!!! Screams!! Had to apologize to both customers too!!! Luckily they were good sports about it but I’m seriously kicking myself AAAAAAAA!!!! - The most rewarding part after sending all my babies away is seeing the commentary on my project. It is so so nice to receive positive feedback. People are happy! Happy with something I created out of thin air. Everything was worth it 1000 times over. I can die happy!

I’m especially thankful to those who show understanding for how much effort went into it. It definitely wasn’t easy and I poured way too many hours into it… not that I regret that.

I don’t want to jump the gun but I would really love to make a volume 2. Because I know I can do better than last time. New and improved art and comics! But we’ll see if I make enough pieces for another book. I was against printing 40 pages before but now I kind of like it. It feels more worth it than a 25-page zine. If i’m going though so much effort, might as well bring in the entire package.

I’ll be printing more of this volume for Aselia Con 2020. Now I know people will appreciate it.

#diary

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ssigmas · 5 years

Text

hello i started thinking about noir’s voice today and uhhh had some Thoughts that i had to get down before i completely lost them

im still trying to get a feel for his character and his voice so pls bear with me lol

It was getting really, really hard to shift your focus away from the single flickering streetlamp and to the details that really mattered. You were supposed to be keeping watch for anyone going in or out of this decrepit warehouse, or looking for any lurid details around that could explain the recent string of kidnappings.

So far: nothing. From your vantage point on the roof of a nearby building, you could see almost the whole scope of the warehouse. You’d spot anyone going into one of the two (2) entrances, and even though a small corner of the warehouse was in your blindspot, you’d hear any car that decided to stop by. You figured that if anything were happening, you’d have noticed it by now.

Well, if you could stop staring at the single lit bulb you might. It was a miracle you hadn’t fallen asleep by now. Your joints ached from holding one position for so long.

How long had it been since you staked out here? You remembered having to go from one location straight to the next, no break in between, which meant no stops for a nap.

...Which meant you’d been awake for well over a day by this point. Maybe two. Who knows. Time isn’t clear when there’s no sun out.

While you spent a good three of your four braincells focused on how much sleep you didn’t get, the fourth braincell registered the soft, telltale thwick of webbing, then the louder sound of weight settling onto the roof. If you needed further proof of how tired you were, your Spider Sense didn’t even tingle with Noir’s specific feeling until after you had recognized the scuff of his boots.

“There you are. You had us worried sick there for a bit, kiddo. You been casin’ the joint this entire time?”

It took your exhaustion-addled brain a beat to process his words, then another to realize he was looking for a response.

“Uh,” you supplied intelligently. Your mouth felt thick and dry; you swallowed a few times, trying to coax some saliva back into your throat. “Yeah? Yeah, I think so. I, uh…” Shoot, what were you trying to say?

You watched Noir take a few steps toward you, and you got lost in the sound of his boots crunching against the concrete and in the way he held himself, so tall and so controlled and so handsome -

God, you needed to go to bed. Immediately. Before you said something stupid.

“I haven’t seen anything interesting yet. Well, no; I watched a stray dog attempt to terrorize a small group of apathetic pigeons. I don’t think that counts, though. That’s not what I’m after.”

Noir, thank god, didn’t address your ramblings. “Can you stand?” he asked instead, offering his gloved hand.

“Yes,” you said with the utter confidence of someone who had stood a million times in their life, and as soon as Noir pulled you up your legs immediately buckled. Fortunately, he was there to catch you.

“...my legs feel like jello,” you said, because holy shit you’d been crouched in one position for too long. Blood began pooling back to where it was suppose to have been in the first place, and while you were mentally cataloging what it felt like to have legs again, Noir grabbed you and settled you onto his back. You’d seen him give Peni - and sometimes Miles or Gwen - piggyback rides before, but this was the first time that you were lucky enough to experience it first hand.

“Drop us a line next time y’plan on catchin’ some goons by yourself. Least let someone know where you are in case y’end up behind the eight.”

Ah, Noir and his ‘30s slang. Half the time you had no idea what the hell he was saying, but you figured with all the current lingo you threw around that it evened out. Plus, it was just too adorable - you liked it when he’d say things were ‘the bee’s knees’ or ‘just aces.’

Noir was still speaking to you, but all you could focus on was the rumble that reverberated against your front, how his soft baritone sunk into your weary bones and soothed the tension sitting in your spine.

You loved listening to him talk. Your favorite (albeit somewhat shameful) pastime was listening for the nuances in his tone that betrayed his true feelings, or trying to catch the exact moment that his phrases would dip off and his voice would be little more than a whisper.

“ - are you listenin’ to me?”

“Huh?” Oh, had he been calling your name? “Uh, sorry. I’ve just - I’ve been awake for probably forty hours plus by now and I literally spent the whole time that you spoke listening to your voice instead of paying attention to the actual words.” His trench coat felt so soft underneath your palms, wow...Has it always been this soft?

Noir started to speak again, but you interrupted him, for some reason unable to keep your mouth shut. “But like, technically that’s not really even my fault, since your voice is so nice to listen to. I ask you questions all the time not ‘cause I’m curious, but because I want to hear you talk, and I know that probably gets annoying.” Oh god, you were rambling. You can’t stop. “You just have one of those voices that draws me in. You could read the dictionary and I’d probably find it absolutely riveting, like I’d get tickets and sit front row and the whole nine yards. Seriously.”

You paused, and in the silence you became uncomfortably conscious of all the contact between you two. Your chest to his back, your hands braced on his large (impossibly large, he’s so big - ) shoulders, his hands settled on your outer thighs.

“Oh shit, I’m rambling,” you said, striving to fill the silence once more. “Sorry, I’m sorry. I have no filter when I’m sleep deprived. You can, uh, forget I said anything. I...yeah. My bad.”

In the two seconds that Noir didn’t say anything, you felt your stomach drop to your feet. You fucked up. You just ruined the precious friendship you’d carefully crafted with him, and now he’d think that you’re weird and gross and -

“Well now,” started Noir, which halted your inner panicked monologue. “Not everyday I get some pretty doll like yourself that thinks I’m…” he paused, “what’s the phrase you use? ‘The shit?’”

At that, you burst into laughter - somewhat from nerves, somewhat from pure hysteria from being so tired. Noir almost seemed offended by your outburst, however.

“What - did I not use it right? Thought it meant something good.”

“No, no, that was right,” you said, quelling your laughter. “It’s just, I never thought I’d get to hear you use some of my slang. That was a real treat.”

You both were quiet for a beat. Then, quieter than you had been, you murmured, “You’re right, though. I think you’re the cat’s pajamas.”

Even though you couldn’t see his face, you know Noir had to have been smiling beneath his mask. Even if it was just a tiny one.

“Let’s get you home and in bed,” Noir said, and you smiled yourself at the slight hint of affection in his tone. “Before you pass out on me, yeah? Hold on.”

You curled your legs around Noir’s waist and he webbed off under the night sky, you clinging to him

#writing #spiderman noir #itsv #noir #noir spiderman #i tried to keep this as gender neutral as possible but also i love nicknames so /shrug #also #i uhhhh love his voice a Lot #i want him to read to me to sleep #not as nic cage #but as noir

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thewritingstar · 5 years

Note

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE.

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go.

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27.

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot.

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others.

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

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chezzkaa · 6 years

Text

Numb pt 18

Click here for more Numb content OR JOIN THE NUMB DISCORD

Lumberjack AU Pairing: Ryan Haywood x Reader WC: 2300+

Date posted: 28 Oct 2018

“What the absolute fuck was that?!”

“I don’t know,” you admit, so uncomfortable with your own body that you want nothing more that to tear off the offending fixture and hurl it across the room. Preferably out the window.

Lauren doesn’t look like she’ll take that as an answer. “You’re hand lit up like a fucking beacon and shot a goddamn bear, Y/N.”

“I don’t know, how many times do I have to say it?” You stand, hurling yourself into movement. “This has never happened before, I don’t even know why I did it.”

“Go over it again for me?” she sighs, so exhausted that you can feel it dragging you down, too. “We can figure this out.”

“Figure this out?” you demand hollowly, falling onto the couch and sinking into the cushions. “Can’t we just be thankful that it didn’t kill us and deal with it in the morning?”

“We’re past the morning.”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“Y/N-”

“Lol,” you plead, tearing your eyes from the silver scars adorning your palm and burying your gaze in the concern of your friend. “I can’t do this right now. Just let me breathe, please? Just - just for, like, a minute. I’ve got…” You sigh, head meeting the tops of your knees and a sob that you hope she confuses as a complaint rattling through your ribs. “I’ve got too much bouncing around right now. I need to be in a better place before I do this.”

She’s quite for a moment, chewing on her lip and picking at her fingers. “Okay. What do you want to do?”

“Smudge the house,” you say, concept not having crossed your mind until now. The thought feels alien in your muddled head. “Salt the entrances, and place charms on the walls. See if we can get some runes engraved on the posts and steps.”

“Which ones?”

“Protection, mainly. Warding. I want our coverns displayed. I want to make this place a fucking fortress.”

“This is… a lot for an animal, Y/N,” she says eventually, “or an entity. We don’t even know what it was, and you’re the only one that saw it.”

“I know,” you groan, hurling your useless stones into the armchair.

“Maybe it’s the new environment,” she prompts helpfully, brewing tea and a coffee for herself. “I did a lot of reading before deciding to live here, unlike you. And I found all sorts of stuff about how new environments, big emotional changes, and trauma can mess with a sister’s head. Can’t see why that wouldn’t mean that your abilities wouldn't be affected.”

“Emotional changes?”

“Girl.” She raises her eyebrows, snatching the piece of paper on the kitchen island and waving it at you. Even from this distance you can see the small kiss Ryan has left at the end of the note, heart squeezing at his acceptance of your dinner invite once everyone has settled in. “You haven’t been close to someone in forever. You seem to really like this guy, there’s no way this isn’t affecting you. I felt your heart do weird shit just then. Don’t ignore this.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that. But what about the weird thing I’ve been seeing?”

She shrugs, as though the explanation is simple. “Well, you’re the most powerful witch I’ve met. Most powerful ever, arguably. Besides Grandad, anyway. Maybe you’re projecting?”

“Projecting an evil monster in the snow?”

“Yah, wouldn’t be the weirdest thing you’ve projected. Remember when you watched the Grudge and we all saw that bitch everywhere for a week?” she takes a loud sip, grimacing with the scalding liquid. The smell coaxes you to your feet, shuffling over and taking a chair. “You’re in a new place that is practically isolated from the rest of the world, you’re in the environment best suited to you, you’ve got a crush, and the person you worked with on the case that finally broke you is hanging around.” Her voice softens, though remains careful. “Maybe you’re just frightened. You’re going through a lot and you have too much energy for one body. You’re most likely releasing it during times of fear so you don’t explode.”

“That… makes sense?”

“I know.”

“But maybe the Widow of the Woods is real? Wouldn’t that explain everything better?”

“The Widow of the Woods wasn’t a giant, fuck off bear thing… But I suppose it could be either. Though if we’re gonna work with the paranormal I’d at least like to have proof. Or know what the Widow is supposed to be. I can’t prove a ghost is behind this, but I can sure as hell prove that you’re a mess. So we’ll start with you and work from there. Sound good?”

You sigh, giving in and accepting the fact that you’re going to have to find some firmer footing so that you can minimise whatever it is that you might be projecting. “What would I do without you, Laurie?”

“Fuck knows. Probably die a horrible death, or live a boring life and freeze your ass off.”

“I like the cold.”

“Shut up and drink your tea,” she retorts, “I’m going to bed. Don’t wake me up until summer.”

Your knees ache, bruising beneath your weight and time spent kneeling. But you don’t relent. Sat out in the cold with a small blade clutched between numb fingers. Looking away from the final structural support pole you’ve been working on, you return your attention to the beaten book on your left, worn pages lying open and paper covered in your notes and symbols. You’d started as soon as Lauren had ascended the stairs, smiling until the last sight of her disappeared behind the door and you could panic in peace.

All that has been on your mind since has been your spellbook.

Nodding, you start to carve out the final line, muttering incantation as you go. Each groove eases your concerns and brings new blisters to light, skin red raw and begging to stop. You don’t. Not until the final set of protections are permanently etched into the wood making up your home and all that remains is to smudge what’s left.

The sound of footsteps crunch up the path and through the snow, heavy and confident. Closing the book, you twist. Repositioning to sit on the step while the blood flows painfully back to your feet. Jeremy continues to bob towards you, smile bright and hair start against the whiteness of the world. He’s dyed it again, the once pale blues now vibrant and joyful, and your lips tug into a grin. “Hey there, Detective.”

His chest puffs slightly at the use of his title, still proud of his achievements. You pat the space beside you and he collapses onto it, admiring your handiwork. “Hey, this is cool.”

“Thanks,” you reply flippantly, fingers absently tracing the marks you’ve made, “figured it was about time I did some decorating. What’s up, got a new case file for me?”

“Nah,” he sighs, seeming quite relieved about it. “I wanted to swing by and check to see how you were.”

“Better. Thanks for, err, answering my phone call the other night. Without you we’d have been fucked.”

He smiles warmly, lightly knocking his shoulder against yours. “Don’t worry about it, it’s my job. You’re lucky you got any signal, it was really weird. I didn’t even hear it ring honestly. I just heard you asking for help in my pocket.”

“God, that is weird,” you murmur, watching the trees sway. Trying not to think about uncomfortable your changing abilities are making you. “But I really do appreciate it, Jeremy.”

“You were pretty spooked when I picked you up though,” he responds carefully, eyes clouded with concern. “Did you see something strange?”

You shake your head. “Just a bear.”

You take the steps two at a time, eager to share the town you’ve come to love with your friends. The past month has seen your footing grown steady, confident as you maneuver across the ice they struggle with. You’re at the bottom in no time, breathing in the fresh air laced with baked goods and chimney smoke.

“First thing’s first,” you declare fondly, glancing back to make sure that everyone is still in tow - if not a little winded by the walk. Lauren, despite all of her layers of warm oranges and oatmeal wool, looks hopeful, enjoying your excitement while Trevor and Alfredo slip along behind, gripping each other for support. “We’ll hit up the local store. Geoff keeps it open pretty late, which is great.”

“You know the store owner by name?” asks Trevor, bewildered as you set off again. He takes hold of Lauren’s mittened hand and clings for dear life. “That’s crazy.”

“It’s a small town,” you reply, offering your arm to Alfredo, who takes it gladly, and making your way down the worn street. “Everyone knows everyone here.”

“Isn’t that a little annoying?” pipes in Lauren, desperate to keep Trevor on his feet, lanky legs slipping at every opportunity. “Everyone knows your business.”

“Yeah, it can be a lot,” you admit. Geoff’s mercantile comes into view as the group keeps walking, windows welcoming and storefront dotted with the flowers Jack so diligently tends. “Like, I’m pretty sure everyone knows that Ryan and I are fucking.”

“Fuck dude,” sympathises Alfredo, catching his cussing as a group of children rush by waving. You smile back, the man attached to your arm lowering his voice. “How do ya deal with that shit?”

“Easy,” you reply, waving off Bea and her friends, and smiling kindly to their parents as you pass. They offer you quick, warm hellos, Bea’s mum insisting that she owes you a cup of tea. Oh, she loves you, she calls, just adores you. Please, if you ever need a babysitting gig! You grin, returning your attention to your friends after eagerly accepting the offer. “Where was I?”

“You were telling us how to deal with everyone butting into your shit,” offers Alfredo.

“Oh, yeah. You just stop caring.”

“You say that like it’s easy for you not to panic about everything all at once,” laughs Lauren, leaning against Trevor as you draw to a stop, free hand resting on the door.

“Here’s the thing, I’ve gotten to the ‘fuck it’ stage of my life. Right now I need consistency, and this is the closest I’ve got.”

And with that you push into the store, cheerful bell greeting your entrance and even brighter Geoff opening his arms with glee. “Y/N!” he calls, working his way from around the register and taking his steps in quick bounds. “How are you doing?”

“Really well, thanks,” you reply, smiling into his warmth and accepting the hug he pulls you into, happy chuckles resonating against your cheek. “How’re you?”

“Fantastic,” he affirms, “Detective Jackass hasn’t broken anything in a week.”

You grin. “That’s gotta be a record.”

“I know!”

“I wanted to introduce you to some of my friends.” You motion to the three huddling together in their nervousness. “This is Lauren, her boyfriend Trevor, and their third wheel Alfredo. They live with me.”

Amidst Alfredo’s determined denials Geoff laughs, lines folding his face with age. “Well, any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of mine.” He turns slightly, bellowing into the back room. “Hey Gavin - Asshole, get out here and meet Y/N’s friends! Now, what can I do for y’all?”

“I love him,” Lauren deems as you leave, backpack full of the biscuits Geoff had insisted she take. “I love my grocery dad.”

“It’s weird when you put it that way,” Trevor teases, earning himself an elbow.

“I don’t care,” she retorts. “He’s my grocery dad and I love him and he’s my favourite.”

“You just wait until you meet Lindsay,” you smile, “she’ll be your favourite too.”

Trevor pouts. “I thought I was your favourite.”

“Nup.” Lauren shakes her head, Alfredo attaching himself to your side and looking dubious down at the ice. “You’ve been replaced.”

“Wrecked,” you laugh, patting his arm as you pass. “Better luck next time.”

The rest of the morning is spent with banter and introductions, working your way through the town and stopping off at every notable location. Jon fills their hands with free coffees and cake, Lindsay and Meg insist they stay for a beer, and Jack happily entertains Lauren for an hour in the garden.

You’re relieved to see that they’re enjoying Motbury as much as you are, and the soft chime of your phone only adds to your positive mood. After scanning the screen you groan into standing, stretching until your shoulders pop and Alfredo casts you a critical eye. “Where’re you goin?”

“Work,” you reply, collecting your bag. “I’ve gotta pay for you fucks somehow.”

“Hey, I ain’t expensive,” he rejects, grinning. “What’re you going to work for though? I thought you’d have taken the day off, you know? To relax with your friends.”

“Nah, she’s fucking her boss, Fredo,” sneaks in Trevor, leaning across the stone wall he sits on. “Of course she’s gonna go to work.”

“Oh fuck off,” you laugh, waving away his words. “You can’t talk, you and Lauren met when you were her boss.”

“It was very unprofessional,” he muses fondly, watching his girlfriend explore the flowerbeds.

“Do you really like this dude?”

The question catches you off guard, Alfredo’s words thumping against your back. Chewing your lip, you turn to face them, both men looking at you with curiosity. “What do you mean by like?”

He rolls his eyes. “You know, like ‘like like’. Like, Trevor and Lauren like.”

Your hedge around the answer, having not admitted it out loud yet. “I mean, I guess.”

“You guess?” Trevor holds up a hand, stopping your apprehension in its tracks. “C’mon Y/N, we all know it’s more than that. As soon as anyone mentions Ryan - there, there you’re doing it right now! - you get a stupid smile on your face! You fucking fancy his pants off.”

“Alright, maybe I do. So what?”

“So?” Alfredo shakes his head, shocked. “So when are we going to meet him? We gotta put him through the rigorous testing procedure if he wants to date our girl.”

“Okay, I’m gonna pretend you didn’t say that cute shit.”

“I’m serious girl-”

“I’m leaving, bye guys!”

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