#punchie pie

[doginprogress]

Azula’s grooming service is very exclusive but worth every penny

[silly-pupper-drawings]

Original photo by @doginprogress

[Image ID: Two pictures. The one on top is a sketch of black ink on white paper of a dog's head. The dog's head points to the viewer's right with one eye visible and no ears visible. About a third of the paper, under the dog's muzzle, is filled with squiggly lines. Their muzzle is extra long and the front teeth and most of the front right canines are visible. A buckle collar is around their neck. In the bottom left of the paper are some words: "Original Photo by @doginprogress" and a symbol made up of an 's', a 'p', and a 'd' with "@silly-pupper-drawings" next to it.

The bottom picture is a photo of a dog's head tucked between the back of a pale green couch and a white pillow. Her neck is white while most of her visible face is brown and her shoulder is also brown. She is wearing a purple buckle collar. Her front teeth are fully visible as are much of her front right canine teeth.

End ID]

[uncle-jj]

bob: Cake is the best.

moe: No, Bob. That would be pie.

bob: How should I know? You've never eaten cake before.

punchy: Guys, calm down! Everybody knows both cake and pie are great treats!

rosie: Then it's settled! We'll bake brookies!

*at the same time*

bob: Oh yeah. Brookies.

moe: I like brookies.

punchy: Y'know, brookies sound so great after all.

[omtai]

my chemical romance members as types of apples

gerard is a pink lady apple. an elixir of an apple... refreshing and sweet, yet has a gorgeous tangyness to her... familliar but fresh with every bite... beautiful princess apple

mikey is a golden delicious. be kind to these apples... perfectly sweet with little acidity. shines like an autumn sunset flowering between the leaves of aspen trees...

ray the crispin apple... a beautiful balance between crunchy and juicy. a reliable friend of an apple until the end... sweet and honeylike but ever fleeting like the early morning frost... come home crispin apple

frank is the beautiful envy apple. immortal red like the beautiful gala apple... tough and punchy on the surface but once the skin yields under your teeth its a world of transcendal sweet crispness... always there when you need him... bake him into a pie

[y3ager]

WE OUTSIDE.

— a night you initially weren’t looking forward to ends in the best way imaginable.

eren y. x black!fem!reader

tags: high school au, modern au, marijuana and alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral sex (fem receiving), mild cream pie. minors dni.

DESPITE HOW YOU refused it for months, here you stand in a mansion someone had the money and connections to reserve holding the worst position anyone can have on graduation night: designated driver.

you’re the coveted mom friend, the only one in the group with a level enough head and fear of, you know, dying to make sure you and your girls don’t end up on the morning news the following day. after weeks of promising that they wouldn’t be back home after walking across stage, here they all are enjoying one last night of partying before they all go their separate ways, to different universities and states, some of them never seeing each other again.

obviously you’re not one to knock someone else’s fun, but it’s just not your thing and you knew that with the first party you snuck out to. it’s loud, crowded, and smacking the ass of your friend or fighting your way to the front for a good view of it is only fun for the first 20 or so minutes. it’s three am and no one shows signs of stopping.

you nurse your cocktail of lemonade with a dash of pink whitney because it helps to have something in your hand. you stay off towards the back and hug the wall, watching your peers have fun and dreading when you inevitably have to shove 7 shitfaced girls into one car. three are horny drunks, one does nothing but cry by the end of the night, one more tends to get punchy…

you feel a solid body bump against yours and lurch forward a bit. “sorry!” you shout, but with the bass of the music and everyone’s yelling, they probably don’t even hear you.

“no, you’re fine..” all of a sudden you smell nothing but weed, enough to make your nose wrinkle a bit. he brandishes his blunt to you, obviously inviting you take a hit. that’s what all these parties are, people swapping blunts and taking sips out of bottles and repurposed polar pop cups.

“no, um, i’m good..” your better judgement starts to kick in, even though you’re probably the only person in the entire house using some right about now. it could be filled with god knows what, what if your job springs up a surprise drug test, you’re not supposed to take anything from a damn stranger!

a little voice in the very back of your head reminds you that this is your problem: playing it safe, keeping your head down, abstaining from doing anything even mildly reckless.

you reach your hand up and pluck the glowing blunt from the strange boy’s slender fingers and pop it between your glossed lips. a quick toke fills your lungs, streams out from your nose and makes you give out a quick cough. “thank you,” you say dumbly, honestly, as you pass it back to him. who the fuck says thank you after that? “sorry for the, uh.. gloss.”

“you’re fine,” he says again, popping the joint right back into his mouth, coconut flavored gloss from the beauty supply store be damned. you finally get a chance to really look at him, the flashing strobe lights momentarily illuminating his face. tanned skin, green eyes tinted just a smidge red, and dark brown hair pulled back into a bun, a light sheen of sweat making the baby hairs stick to his forehead. he nods to your cup. “what’s that?”

“that.. oh! oh.” you look down at your cup, suddenly feeling awkward for staring so intently. “lemonade with.. uh.. pink whitney.” you realize how close he is to you, nudged forward by the many bodies and his interest in what you’re saying, and it makes you sweat. “do you want some?” looking back up, you hold the cup out to him. “it’s not that strong, i have to drive later…”

he shakes his head and chuckles lowly, pushing the drink back into your bubble. “keep it.” he looks down at you, taking in your brown eyes framed by your freshly done lash extensions, accented with a thin strip of one of your school’s colors, your cropped shirt and skin tight biker shorts, comfortable but exposing a lot of your gleaming brown skin. “designated driver, huh? your friends sound mean dumping you with that job. you having fun?”

you shrug, heating up even more under his hungry gaze. he’s so fine, if you look fast enough, a tongue ring is getting caught by the flashing lights when he opens his mouth to speak. “it’s okay, i don’t like getting shit faced, and, you know…” you look off to your left to see that four of your friends have successfully made it onto the stage. “it’s fun watching them have fun.” when you look back at him, he’s holding his blunt back out, and you take it again without even being told to. “thank you.” you blow out another cloud of smoke and pass it back to him. “it could.. be a little quieter, i guess?” another body passing through makes you lurch forward. “with less people?”

he laughs again and holds his joint between his teeth. “you wanna leave then?”

your inner mom comes back out again, and you look to your left, scanning for your friends. you’re supposed to stick together, you have to keep an eye out on them, they’re all supposed to know where everyone is in case anything crazy pops off. “i.. i shouldn’t leave my friends…” you shuffle unsurely on your feet, “i don’t know.”

“text them,” he offers. then he points off into the general direction when he assumes they’re at, based on where you’re looking. “or go tell one of them. we’re just going up to a room upstairs. they’ll be okay, and you’ll be okay. we’ll come back down when you’re ready.”

fuck it. you think. you whip your phone out of your purse and type up a quick message in the groupchat that they probably won’t check, but at least you told them. ‘going upstairs for a bit’ “okay,” you say as it sends. “let’s go.”

thirty minutes later, the blunt is completely gone and the stranger—no, eren’s tongue is deep in your mouth, working against yours while his hand holds your face firmly in place. your manicured hands have pulled his hair out of its haphazard bun with all your tugging and pulling and you’re doing everything you can to hide your wanton moans. he’s just such a good kisser…

eren pulls away slightly to look down into your glazed over eyes, the sound of your blood rushing and your heart pounding rivaling the sound of the music booming downstairs. “pretty girl,” he mumbles. your kissing has long left your gloss awry, and he rubs an errant mark away from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “feelin’ good?”

“yeah,” you whisper breathlessly, his kiss swollen lips calling you back in and he laughs as your mouth meets his again. either he pushes you down into some stranger’s bed, or you pull him on top of you, but now you’re on your back and he’s looking down at you, with one hand trailing down, down, down…

and you’re doing nothing to stop him.

deftly, eren pulls off your biker shorts, and catches your thigh before you can instinctively close them off from his sight. “so fucking wet already…” he remarks as he pulls your panties down until they eventually fall down to your ankles. you kick them off, and brazenly, boldly, spread your brown lips for him, the white of your long french tip acrylics a beautiful contrast to your chestnut skin and perfect pink center.

“fuck, ___,” eren groans, mouth almost watering at the sight. he wants to devour you so bad. “you’re trying to kill me. you were so shy earlier. that changes when you wanna get fucked, huh?” your whimper at his last comment makes him grin. “now hold these up.” he commands, reference your legs as he pushes your knees up to your chest, prostrating yourself before him for his perusal. he’s laying down now, his aching crotch now rubbing against the bed in a welcome wave of pleasure.

the noises eren begins to make on your pussy are downright pornographic, the spitting, smacking, slurping, feasting on your drooling cunt as if it’s his last meal. his tongue is everywhere, going from swirling your clit around to dragging against your inner lips, that damned tongue ring never far behind. it’s nearly too much for your poor cunt, but the focused glare he gives you with his blown out green eyes deters you from bringing your legs down and diminishing the access he has to you.

“e-eren! oh, god!” the sound of your wetness makes your ears burn in embarrassment, it’s just so fucking messy. you catch a sight of the mess you’ve made on his chin when he momentarily comes up for air, only to dive right back in. his plump, pillowy lips latch firmly on your throbbing clit, making your eyes roll back into your head and a shaky moan escape your own lips. “eren, please..!” you writhe against the sheets, his expert mouth overwhelming, you’re not a virgin but, god, if he keeps up.. “e-eren, eren, i’m…!”

“c’mon, baby,” he mumbles between suckling, open mouthed kisses, and drags of his skillful tongue. “give it t’ me, don’t be scared. i gotcha.”

his words make your greedy hole pulse around nothing, and a mix of a moan and a week sob escapes your throat. thighs spasming, you pointlessly attempt to close your legs again only for him to continue holding them open as he drowns your cunt in sloppy kisses, determined to savor every last drop.

“good girl,” his sinful voice rumbles against your core. “good, good fucking girl…” as he pulls away, that tongue darts out to sweep up the last remnants of your heavenly juices. “c’mere..” those strong hands grab at you hips pulling your pliant body towards him near the edge of the bed. “y’ready?”

“yeah, yeah…” emotions flood through your head, lust, need, want, you’re ready to beg for him inside you if he wants you to. faintly, you hear the sound of clothing hitting the floor, but that’s the least of your worries right now. “‘ren, please..” he taps his leaking, blushing tip against your pulsing clit one, two, three times to make you sigh. “please, please..”

“y’doin’ all that beggin’…” now eren’s easing in, hissing at the feeling of you gripping him so tight, walls soft and wet. he throws his head back at the new sensation of your cunt greedily sucking him in, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows and his tanned fingers tightening in a bruising grip on your hips. “fuck,” he groans under his breath, the underlying whine in his voice makes your body grow hot. “fucking- relax, or-”

“oh, g-god..” you stutter, feeling full, and hot, and greedy. “‘s so.. big, eren.” your manicured hand rests against his toned torso in a fruitless attempt to stop him, but his hips meet yours and the two of you whine in unison. “fuck!”

“quit that. take it.” eren swats your hand away from his stomach and tosses your legs up to place them on his shoulders, effectively treating you like a little doll for him to fuck on. slowly, easily, he pulls his hips back only to push them forward again, progressively beginning to get drunk off the feeling of your perfect cunt. “so fucking good,” he mutters. “so, so fucking good.”

the slow drag of his cock against your walls begins to have the same intoxicating effect on you, making you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and whine, low and wanton as you clamp down onto him. you open your eyes, which you didn’t even realize were closed, and stare deep into his green-gray eyes. oh, you’re screwed now.

“fuck yes,” he huffs. eren buries his face in your neck, biting, sucking, leaving hot kisses on your damp as he chases his high and quickly begins to bring to your second. the feeling of your acrylics clawing and digging into the skin of his back only spurs him on more, the music downstairs secondary to the dizzying sound of skin slapping against. “‘s your dick, baby, cum on it for me.”

and you do, shame be damned as your back arches off from the tousled sheets and cry out his name, letting any poor passerby know exactly what’s going on just feet away from the firmly closed door, and exactly who’s fucking you just that good. eren bottoms out with a low groan that reverberates from his chest, a breathless chuckle passing his lips as his cum shoots in deep only to spill back out when he withdraws.

“pretty girl,” he calls out, pulling you out of your fucked out daze. one hand reaches up to wipe the drool from the side of your mouth while the other rubs at your spent, used cunt. your eyes roll back down to look demurely back at his.

“you got another one in you?”

a/n: obligatory plot but this has been in the drafts since january 2022…… it’s time to release her 😭 could i have updated it from high school grad night yeah i could’ve but mannnn…. just relive them days chile

[jaqs-art]

"Branching choice based dialogue" as a game mechanic but for something like Animal Crossing

Relationships with villagers vary based on your choices/responses to your conversations with em

...

I end up losing karma because I made Punchy a salad and not an apple pie

[copperbadge]

I’m traveling for work from now through Sunday, helping to run an event, and we are all a little punchy after having run already five events in six weeks. Please enjoy these scenes from my workplace today.

SCENE #1: We are missing several boxes of swag, which were shipped to our hotel. UPS insists they were delivered. Hotel insists they were not. 

Hotel manager: Are you sure you don’t have them?

Me: Yes, we’ve opened every box. We are missing four boxes, and I’ve counted the contents, we’re also missing what should be in those boxes.

Her: Yes but are you sure.

Me: I have no information for you that my boss didn’t already give you, other than I am sure we do not have them. 

Her: *walks away angrily*

My colleague K, who has been with the organization for two weeks: You know I like to do magic? I’m really good at sleight of hand and card tricks and shit. You know what I can’t do?

Me, unsure where this is going: No, what?

Colleague K: Pull four boxes of swag magically out of my ass.

Me: *cackling wildly*

SCENE #2: We are out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. 

Boss A: They don’t have key lime pie on the dessert menu? What kind of seafood place doesn’t have key lime pie?

Me: Are you craving key lime specifically? 

Boss A: Yeah, like even a key lime cake.

Me: I bet the cheesecake place has key lime cheesecake.

Boss A: The what.

Me: The cheesecake place? We passed it on our way here, it’s like....fifty feet that way.

The entire table of five people, staring at me: ....none of us saw this so-called cheesecake place. 

Me: I didn’t make it up! It’s right there! I’m on their website! they have key lime cheesecake. 

Boss A: Sam’s superpower is noticing stuff that’s useful. 

Boss S: Sam’s superpower is noticing stuff that isn’t useful, but will be in an hour from when he notices it. 

Me: Yeah, you know what that superpower is called? ADHD.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

My Thoughts on the Roger Rabbit Novels

Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's the 1980s, and human beings and comic strip characters ("toons") live side-by-side, albeit not on an equal social standing. Roger Rabbit approaches private detective Eddie Valiant and asks him to investigate a dispute he has with Rocco and Dominick DeGreasy, the brothers who own his comic strip. Roger claims his life is in danger, but Eddie, who's somewhat racist towards toons, doesn't take him seriously - which comes back to bite him when he finds Roger's dead body. Now Eddie has to work out who killed Roger, as well as who killed Rocco DeGreasy on the same night.

What I Liked: This is a very well-paced story. It sets up the mystery straightaway, it cracks along at a good speed, and you don't have the full truth of whodunnit until the very end. The chapters are short and punchy, and even the time spent on plot points that turned out to be red herrings never felt wasted. I was always eager to pick the book up again and read just one more chapter!

Also, in any other novel, the twist regarding Roger's killer would be a massive "What the heck?" moment, but here, it's set up far enough in advance that it doesn't feel unnatural when it comes.

And as a fun minor detail, Eddie casually mentions being one of four children, and then the next novel, Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?, gives him two brothers and a sister! It was probably a coincidence, but I was glad to spot it!

What I Disliked: I really wasn't a fan of the way Jessica Rabbit was portrayed. Who Framed Roger Rabbit subverts her femme fatale image, but Who Censored Roger Rabbit? plays it straight, which didn't appeal to me as much. I prefer the "looks like she could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll" trope over the "looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you" trope.

At one point in the story, Jessica claims she was forced to pose for a racy comic, but when Eddie speaks to the owner of said comic, the man claims Jessica posed for those pictures willingly and was actually eager to make more. At the time the story was published (1981), one might just about have got away with such a portrayal, but in a post-#MeToo world, it's discomforting that Jessica's allegations of coercion and sexual abuse aren't taken seriously. (Also, the man who owns the racy comic is a creepy crossdresser, which ... what? Why was that in there? That didn't need to be in there.)

As a consequence of Jessica's portrayal, her relationship with Roger is nowhere near as sweet as in the film. Their entire marriage is basically a sham. No, thank you. Give me "honey bunny" and "love cup" instead, please.

Verdict: I saw the film first, and I prefer it to the novel. Who Framed Roger Rabbit will always be my favourite piece of Roger Rabbit media. But I can appreciate Who Censored Roger Rabbit? as its own thing - a product of its time, to be sure, but also a well-structured and fast-paced read.

Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's 1947 (more or less), sometime after the events of Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Roger Rabbit, Baby Herman, and Kirk Enigma are three toons in line for the lead role in David Selznick's upcoming adaptation of Gone With the Wind. A box belonging to Selznick, a box of great importance, has gone missing, and Eddie Valiant has been hired to find it.

What I Liked: Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit? has my favourite portrayal of Roger (after the film and the comics). We spend a bit more time with him than in the previous book, so we get to hear more about his worldviews and his backstory. We also get to see what a sweetie pie he is. He's an emotional bunny who loves his wife, just like in the film, and I frequently wanted to hug him.

A key highlight for me was the moment when Roger was singing like a Disney Princess and summoning a chorus of birds to wake Eddie one morning, which Eddie did not appreciate. Can someone animate that? I'd love to see it!

The second half of this novel also introduces Jessica's twin sister Joellyn (the six-inch-tall woman on Eddie's shoulder on the cover), and I enjoyed getting to know her. And, without giving away too many spoilers, I greatly preferred this rendition of Jessica over the one in Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

What I Disliked: Unlike the first novel, this one was pretty slow to get going. Eddie isn't actually hired by Selznick until Chapter 7, and most of the time before then is spent establishing Eddie as a down-on-his-luck private eye, using people and locations that show up once and then are barely used again. Some of that fat could have been trimmed, I feel. It made reaching the end of the book a bit more of a slog.

Something else that bothered me was the high volume of old-timey slang, brand names and Americanisms that I, as a twentysomething Brit, did not recognise. I could read an entire paragraph and think, "Well, he's either drinking alcohol, smoking cigar or eating a foodstuff, but I'll be darned if I can tell you which is the right interpretation." I think the noir detective vernacular was slightly overdone, to the point of incomprehension.

Verdict: I thought this would be my favourite of the novels because it seemed the most similar in tone to the film, so I was disappointed by my lukewarm reception to it. Maybe I was disappointed because I'd hyped it up too much in my mind? That's not to say I didn't enjoy it - I greatly preferred the second half to the first, once Eddie found out what was actually in this mysterious box - but I think it could have done with a few more edits before publication.

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit?

The Plot: It's the 1940s or 1950s, sometime after the events of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and director Barney Sands is shooting a movie set in Toontown starring Gary Cooper and Roger Rabbit. He's been receiving threatening letters warning him to stay away from Toontown and stop making this film, but he can't afford to let down his investors. So he hires Eddie Valiant to be Cooper's bodyguard while filming takes place. But Eddie soon finds himself wrapped up in another mystery, involving a porcine crime lord called Willy Prosciutto and the corpse of Clabber Clown.

What I Liked: The majority of this novel takes place in Toontown, so we get some really cool worldbuilding details. We find out how the school system works, which churches are based in Toontown, and how crooked toons launder their money. I was particularly intrigued by the calm and serious toons in the Sanatorium - apparently, if you're not loud and goofy and bouncing off the walls, you're considered insane, which is the opposite of how humans think about mental health.

The blonde humanoid toon on the cover is Caitlyn "Honey" Graham, Willy's girlfriend. I really like Honey. In fact, she might be my favourite of the novel-exclusive characters. Throughout the book, you're trying to work out if she's a good bad girl or a bad good girl, or if she's really just a bad bad girl. If Who Framed Roger Rabbit ever gets a sequel or prequel or spin-off cartoon series, I'd love to see Honey on screen.

What I Disliked: The Roger we meet in this novel is a bit too stupid for my liking. In Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Roger made seemingly nonsensical choices, but he had his own (cartoon) logic to explain his actions, and he was even proved right in his assumptions a few times. So I much prefer to think of Roger as the kind of toon where you're never quite sure if he's truly dumb or merely playing dumb for the sake of a gag. Here, he's just straight-up dumb, and that's not as fun to read about.

Verdict: This was the book I knew the least about before I read it, so I was more cautious going in - but it ended up being my second favourite of the Roger Rabbit novels. I enjoyed learning more about Toontown and its residents. My favourite parts of the film had been the toony parts - Roger, and Jessica, and Roger and Jessica together - so I guess it makes sense that I'd enjoy the novel that takes place almost entirely in Toontown.

Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business

The Plot: It's the 2020s, sometime post-pandemic, and Jessica Krupnik is a human in a toon-less world. She's working a dead-end job in a crime-ridden part of town, her stepmother bosses her around and belittles her, her stepsisters treat her like a servant, and her stepbrothers sexually harass her. She's basically a modern-day Cinderella. But instead of a fairy godmother, Jessica is rescued from her life of drudgery by an opportunity to apply for a role at XERIOUS, a crime-fighting organisation of secret agents. She gets the job, and is later put on a mission with Robbe, one of XERIOUS's most experienced agents, to catch a criminal mastermind called the Klown.

(And this is somehow a prequel to Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Despite being set decades after that film. And starring a human Jessica instead of a toon Jessica. Cartoon timelines be weird, y'all.)

What I Liked: This was the most fun novel to read! I think that's because it was a spy novel spoof, rather than a gritty noir detective story. The other three novels could be quite dour in tone - yes, cases would get solved, but people would get hurt in the process, and relationships would be irrevocably altered, so there was always this undercurrent of sadness in the seemingly happy endings. After three novels in a row of that, a story spoofing spy novels was always going to feel like a breath of fresh air. Gary K. Wolf has stated that he wrote this book in lockdown and had a lot of fun doing so, and I feel that coming across in his writing.

Robbe was another great novel-exclusive character. I can't say too much about him, because that would massively spoil things, but I can say that I enjoyed witnessing his development over the course of the novel. To give the most spoiler-free explanation I can, Robbe starts out as a suave and competent spy, but also a misogynist - until something happens to him in the line of duty that shakes his confidence. Watching him grow and try to be a better person, especially towards Jessica, while also dealing with the aftermath of his accident, was truly engaging. It even got me thinking about the portrayal of disability in fiction, which I did not expect a Roger Rabbit novel to do.

What I Disliked: For a novel called Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business, Jessica herself was disappointingly under-developed. The first three chapters follow her miserable life and her desire for adventure, for respect, for something more. And then there's a two-year time skip and whoop, she's suddenly a confident and glamorous secret agent! And she's ditched her glasses and dyed her hair, so she's beautiful now! And she achieved her impossible hourglass figure with nothing but diet and exercise, despite being a human and not a toon! Sigh.

There was a real missed opportunity here. Robbe already has a plot where he starts off skilled and arrogant, but then has his worldview challenged and needs to learn to embrace vulnerability. So we could have had Jessica experiencing her own story of growth alongside him, but in reverse! We could have watched as, over the course of the novel, she transforms from the beaten-down self-conscious little girl into the sensational woman she was always meant to be. Robbe would start on top and fall down; Jessica would start at the bottom and claw her way up. The parallels could have been awesome!

Gary K. Wolf has admitted that, as a man, he would struggle to write a novel about women, and it shows. The sexism Jessica experiences doesn't have any nuance; the story just says, "Harassment is bad" over and over again. There's one moment where the Klown is sharing his nefarious plan to change the world, and Jessica responds, "I like the current world." And ... huh? You like the sexual harassment you receive on an almost daily basis? You like the system that trapped you in a dead-end job? You like all the poverty and crime and misery the world has right now? The story could have really benefitted from a feminist and/or intersectional analysis.

Also, in an effort to make Jessica seem smart, the men around her are extremely stupid, unable to see through the Klown's flimsy disguises. That is ... not the best way to make your female characters appear intelligent.

Verdict: My favourite of the Roger Rabbit novels! It's not perfect, but my criticisms are born out of love and a desire to see this concept reach its full potential. But even as it is, I still found this book a lot of fun to read, and I can excuse a few flaws if I'm having fun.

Final Ranking (Compared to Other Roger Rabbit Media)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit and Roger Rabbit's Toontown comics

The three shorts

Jessica Rabbit: XERIOUS Business

Who Wacked Roger Rabbit?

Who Censored Roger Rabbit?

Who P-P-P-Plugged Roger Rabbit?

[tastesoftamriel]

What would be some spices or mixes thereof commonly used by the various races? I feel like that adds so much character to regional cuisine.

Favoured spices vary wildly from Province to Province, and even between regions! Everyone relies on some sort of spice blend to make their food more interesting, unless you're a particularly staunch and Imperial Divines worshipper. In that case, move along, we know you like bland food...

Altmer

Light flavours are key in Altmeri cooking, and their spices are simple and let the food speak for itself. Aside from standard sea salt and white pepper, the High Elves also like a blend of sesame seeds, garlic powder, shaved bonito, and dried seaweed flakes. Sprinkled atop sushi rice, this versatile topping is a must-have for Altmeri kitchens.

Argonians

Black Marsh is rich in plant life, and many of these plants can be dried and ground down to delicious spices! A blend of turmeric, ginger, finely ground chilis, and cloves is a quintessential spice blend used in many Argonian dishes, from meat and poultry to seafood and vegetables.

Bosmer

Despite the lack of plant matter used to make spices, this hasn't stopped the Wood Elves from developing their own meat-based flavourings. Combining everything from dried salty cheese, dried meat of various sorts, salt, and sometimes dried mushrooms, this mix is pounded down and mixed with water or jagga to form a salty and umami paste that is stirred into food.

Bretons

Breton food can be bland, but the region of Glenumbra specifically specialises in a lovely blend of herbs and spices for cakes and desserts. Cinnamon, cloves, vanilla, cardamom, rose petals, and dark brown sugar are ground together until fine and sprinkled into batter or drizzled atop finished desserts. Especially good with pumpkin pie!

Dunmer

Fire fern is a valued spice in Vvardenfell, and it's finely ground up and added to food much like pepper, but with a minty aftertaste. A common spice blend for Dark Elves consists of fire fern leaves, ground and dried comberry, canis root powder, and salt. Umami, spicy, and slightly bitter, this blend goes well with guar and nix-hound.

Imperials

Fennel and Battaglir aren't just tasty Cyrodiilic vegetables- they're also great in spice mixes. One household blend consists of fennel seeds, ground dried battaglir, carrot, basil, columbine, thyme, and dried chicken stock. Simple, but tasty enough.

Khajiit

The Khajiit love a punchy spice blend made from lime zest, curry leaves, smoked paprika, Prune Morel mushrooms, white and pink peppercorns, salt, and moon sugar. This blend is often served in its own little bowl to sprinkle on noodle and rice dishes at taverns and homes.

Nords

Another popular dessert spice blend is the Nord-style "pastry spice". Made from a mix of crushed snowberry raisins, cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, ginger, juniper berries, and a bit of nightshade seed. Rich and fragrant, this is bound to make any pastry pop!

Orcs

Frost mirriam is an Orc's favourite herb, but it's also enjoyed when blended in with other ingredients to make a flavourful spice. Ground dried frost mirriam, allspice, paprika, sugar, chili, and tingly Reach peppercorns are any chieftain's favourite addition to food, especially red meats like ox and mammoth.

Redguards

Redguard spices are vibrant and exciting, and one of my favourite blends hails from Rihad. Made from pepper, cumin, curry, paprika, oregano, cinnamon, cloves, and whatever else one desires. As a result, this mix varies a little from household to household- some add a dash of turmeric, others cardamom!

[starvels]

Eat anything fun in the city of Trawna?

bluebonnet of an anon, you sent this to me right before i left for a trip to calgary so thanks for you patience on my reply. jsyk, i have chuckled warmly so many times about this ask since then. it's simply :chefskiss: very Inhabitant of The 6 of you to say it like this and to ask after what i am eating. who are you, you delightful bee.

(& yes! i too, have learned to drop the last t.)

to answer your sweet question! also yes!! i am thriving in this cuisine heaven of toronto and these are some things i've had recently that i would really rec:

futura granita gelato: ONTARIO SWEET CORN GELATO. AKA, THE BEST FUCKING SEASONAL FLAVOR EVER. listen, if you are hesitant abt corn in ice cream, i am here to reassure you that you have NOTHING to fear. this ice cream is gorgeous in every way. i want to marry her. every bite is sumptuous, a burst of flavor, a scene out of ratatouille where remy describes the synesthesia of food. it will make you SEE. special mention to the nocciola Piemonte and Niagara strawberry granita

rustle and still: i am obsessed with their pandan latte. i go for iced, with soy and it's a great, punchy flavorful experience every single time. plus its visually so satisfying to see the pandan syrup and espresso layers separate before you mix them. all of their food options are home runs, as well. i've had their pastries, their viet meatballs and so many of their bahn mi and they are all...simply phenomenal. very hearty, spicy and great bang for buck.

maha's egyptian brunch: FOUR WORDS: HONEY FIG GRILLED CHEESE. it ! will ! blow ! your ! socks ! off ! sweet and savory. get with their lentil soup and a cardamom latte (they GRIND THE CARDAMOM IN W THE BEANS YEAH BUDDY) and melt into a uber comforted puddle of happiness. this family owned, meticulously warm and comforting brunch is a place that i both do want so many more people to go to but also i want to hoard the knowledge of it so i can always get a spot when i go kdsjnbkfb

and to toot my own horn unabashedly! here are some homemades i have had recently that have been v good indeed:

roasted tomato corn pie and peach butter cheesecake

veggie masala curry and miso furikake egg stirfry

thank you for this sweet ask! i really enjoyed it, as you can probably tell :')) any recs from you of good treats to snack-snag?

[doginprogress]

How could you deny this face anything?

[movedtodykedvonte]

My brain went from reading your name as pie rot to pee-heir-ee-ot idk a good way to spell ghe sounds

My serious name is pronounced Pee-Air-oh, t is silent, and my goof name is pronounced Pie-rot. Punchie is with a soft C no matter what cause wouldn't it be funny??

[uncle-jj]

ankha: What brings you to my humble palace, Punchy?

punchy: Um...hi. I brought you a gift, A-Ankles.

ankha: Let me guess...an apple pie?

punchy: No, no...even better.

punchy: I, Sir Punchinello brought you a cherry pie!

ankha: O_O *gets off her throne, and kneels over punchy*

ankha: We should go on a date, Punchy.

[grass-types-more-like-loml]

oh yeah slightly promised post on what you can do with what reminds of the apples your Applin has moved out of.

Now what reminds will vary obviously, as how much an Applin will eat from an apple before it moves to a new one can differ even between the same one.

Now as for what you can do with them is used the same as you would use normal apples for cooking, just rather than like an apple pie, it'd be an applin pie as the result. The flavor of the reminds will be much enchanced compared to them normally. Allow for a more punchy taste to them.

You can also use them to make compost, since there is plenty of stuff still there that can be used to help promote plant growth.

[jageraftermidnight]

Camp Director: Chapter 4 - Finale

               A year later, the camp was just as beautiful in the early morning as it ever was. Mist hung in between the trees under a twilight sky before sunrise. The morning's violet hue would stick around a few more moments like it usually did. It was truly an unbelievably gorgeous place seemingly impervious to time. But as far as the camp was concerned, some things had changed drastically since the incident at the retreat. In other ways they hadn't changed at all.

               Cassie the once punchy crossfitter continued indulging, steadily blowing up to nearly 500 pounds. Her once tight little 130 pound freckled body was so overfilled with treats she was almost too big to fit through doors at this point. She loved the thought of being teased at her old gym, waddling inside and her old friends gasping at her size. Cassie loved turning into a complete pig and the erasing all semblance of her fitness. She was spending a lot of her time in the dining hall these days with the newest arrivals. At present, she was sidled up next to a new brunette guest who was skinnier than she had ever been. The new arrival had a teal headband she wore to her own crossfit competitions and a thin body except for a disproportionately large chest. Above the table, Cassie was alternating lifting forkfulls of pie to the thin brunettes lips and then her own. Below the table, the thin woman's hand had made it past Cassie's belly and was tracing the spandex covered contours of Cassie's soft fattened pussy.

               Amanda, predictably, continued stuff her cheeks and as a result continued packing on the pounds below her well padded waist. It was a early weekend morning, so she pushed herself through the well worn door frame of Hazel Eyes cabin with her enormous pajama clad hips. Finally through with a toothy smile her lips couldn't hide, she was ready to wake him up the best way she knew how. She licked her lips as she cautiously lowered her jiggling bulk onto her knees beside his bed. Measuring at 90 inches around at her widest, her massive ass and thighs wobbled with every move until she finally got her head under the top sheet. Then while moving her small upper body gently under the blankets and leaving her gigantic lower half exposed, she took him half asleep in her mouth. She loved the reaction she got, getting wetter by the second, yet she often found herself longing for the same feeling of fullness she had that one night in the office at the hands of Aurora and her hose. She sucked harder.

               The kitchen's morning shift was already operating at top speed and a once-thin latina sat at the table inside the kitchen. A chubby hand begrudgingly raised seemingly endless plates slid infront of her. The clumsy latina had ballooned up after her failure and reassignment as taste tester. She had gained over 150 pounds since her reassignment, and the excess fat found itself in her massive tits which were a major recipient of the extra calories. The seams on her chefs jacket were screaming, and the recently upsized black lycra pants were already splitting in the back...again. Uniformed kitchen personnel swarmed around the kitchen completely ignoring her unless it was to frequently drop off a fattening sample .She rested her heavy mammaries on the stainless steel table in front of her while she lifted another sample to her plump lips. "When will it end?" she thought to herself as an oversized plate of muffins slid infront of her.

               A lot had changed for Chrissy and Aurora as well. They were almost inseparable since that ill-fated night a year before. A nozzle fell free from a pair of glistening lips as the now empty tube hung limply from the ceiling, sweet remnants slowly dripping onto the carpet. Their soft lips met as a quiet burp unexpectedly escaped one pair into the other's mouth. The other pair's lifted into a smile, not leaving contact until one pulled away and the sweetness hung on their lips. The combativeness between the two had turned from unbridled hatred into ethereal passion and the effects of a year of punishment had taken it's toll.

               Standing at the footboard of the bed was Aurora, a year later and she had changed. Her longer hair was pulled up into a bun like Chrissy's was when she had first arrived. And her face, while always beautiful, now looked like it never had before...content. Other than that, she looked as trim as she ever did, well, except for that little problem area behind her. She turned her back to the bed.

               In her left hand she held three gel gushers, in her right she held a black leash, and around her neck was the necklace and pendant that came in the mail mysteriously all those years ago. With her longer hair pulled up in an Auburn bun of her own, her toned back and shoulders were completely exposed. Aurora arched her back and reached up above her, tightening her grip until the gushers burst. The shimmering purple liquid seeped between her fingers and ran down the center of her back. It flowed down, passing between her soft cheeks until finally covering her vulva in glistening wetness. Aurora looked back over her shoulder to where the leash she was holding led to.

               The other end of the leash connected to a collar clasped around the once wasp-figured Chrissy's neck. Her face showed only the faintest signs of her gain, still framed by the loose hairs on either side. Aurora had made sure her makeup and hair were always tended to. Aurora slowly bent forward even further while pulling the lead. "Time to eat you fat bitch," Aurora teased over her shoulder as she pulled Chrissy's face between the cheeks of her bubble butt. As soon as Chrissy's tongue met her liquid coated cunt her eyes rolled back as she ate. Biting her lip, Aurora reached back and grabbed the massive black bun with her other hand and forced her mouth harder against her love. Chrissy's moaning with a full mouth only made her gush harder. While the leash was still a fun toy for them it had long since passed its utility for Chrissy. Aurora had fattened  her up so much she could barely move on her own.

               The once sharp tongued wasp-waisted object of jealousy and admiration was gone. Her face had remained largely unchanged but from her neck down she was unrecognizable as the fitness fanatic she was before. Her naturally large breasts expanded bigger with every stuffing until they were bigger than her head. Overfilled and overly sensitive they lay mashed against the soft duvet cover helping to prop her up. Her heavy arms, fattened so much she could barely lift them, were nevertheless stuck to the magnetic squares at the end of the footboard, her dainty hands having long left their imprint in the wood from her relentless feedings. Any discernable waist for Chrissy was gone 300 pounds ago as her round belly spread underneath her also aiding in propping her up in this submissive position. Her once enviable round, but toned, ass had plumped bigger and bigger against her will. Looking over Aurora's shoulder, she could see Chrissy's enormous ass rising up behind her. Her once perfect butt, now two round giant wobbling globes where, if she was a good girl and ate everything she was told to, Aurora would plunge her face between them and return the favor. Even with Aurora's attention and constant care faint stretch marks showed her rapid growth to her remarkable size. Thankfully, for Aurora's sake, Chrissy's was so fat from the endless feedings pumped into her that she could only briefly waddle around the admin office apartment, let alone get into any mischief now.

               There on the bed, desperately eating Aurora from behind, was the once venemous but now just enormous Chrissy, completely defanged. From the neck down she showed all the effects of being pumped fatter with the retractable hose on a daily basis. And it was daily. Gusher enhancements, like the ones Aurora had dripping down her back now was the norm for her. As Aurora reached closer and closer to climax, pulling Chrissy's face harder between her cheeks as she came thinking about what would come next for her favorite camp guest. Her legs shook for what seemed like eternity until Aurora finally unlocked her knees, turned and wiped the remnants of her wet purple palm over the morbidly obese woman's soft lips.

               The black haired girl remained in a daze as Aurora lifted her chin in one hand.  The hose which led back to corner of the ceiling shook rapidly as the weight of white cream refilled it, surging through the clear tube until it reached the nozzle. Aurora brought it back to Chrissy's glistening lips, still soaked with her own taste. She gently stuffed it past them, and Chrissy obediently held it in her mouth. The Camp Director stared in deeply into her dilated eyes, looking for any sign of the fitness bitch who had first arrived, then punched a button on the end of the bed. Chrissy's cheeks bulged instantly and as she struggled to gulp the calories down and the dark tears carrying mascara made it's familiar trip down them. The rhythmic pulsing continued as Aurora caressed a stuffed cheek and leaned in brushing her own against the other. She parted the soft lips of her own once they reached a diamond pierced ear. "Not a single pound, huh?" the Camp Director whispered. The bed shook as the enormous Chrissy came, moaning through the tube. Her eyes rolled back and she gulped swallowing more of the endless pulsing cream being pumped down her throat.

------

The End

[troglobite]

kldsjfalksdj

first things first i'm so fucking tired of chronic illnesses and disabilities getting worse and being like "bitch you live in a valley filled with farms and shit you're allergic to? Time To Suffer. oh your favorite weather, cloudy and rainy, is now here? fuck you, time to Suffer bc of the change in barometric pressure. here, have sinus problems, wooziness, dizziness, and incredibly bad and totally random bouts of MOTION-SICK NAUSEA FOR NO REASON."

so i did all of today while fighting all of that^^ bullshit (it wasn't quite as bad as it has been, i guess)

INCREDIBLE life progress today, folks.

i left the house for the first time since july (and i barely count that bc i went to a hotel while they were supposed to be fixing our house but instead fucked around for two weeks, and then i dogsat for a few days before coming back home)

i wore REAL CLOTHES for the first time since july as well. oh i guess i wore jeans and a bra on sunday.

we went to a STORE!

it was packed and i didn't cry :)

we purchased LOCAL RAW MILK CHEESES! AND ALSO MANCHEGO THAT'S REAL AND ACTUALLY FROM LA MANCHA! and also some crackers and salami n stuff to go w it. Tasty.

we then drove to an incredibly crowded beach to see if it would clear out and i didn't cry :) (it didn't clear out in time; irritatingly, if we had just waited 1 hr for the store, it would've been way emptier)

then we went driving in pretty places. parked a couple times. took a nice drive home.

we saw a guy on a dirtbike do an INCREDIBLY long and FAST wheelie

and then speed through a section of road so fast that we literally lost him within 15 seconds.

i cleaned the groceries, put em away, then we brought em back out to try the cheeses and snacks

i also put all the dishes away

we got papa murphy's and then remembered that we're both forgetful af and the massive glob of cherry pie filling at the bottom of the oven was STILL THERE

so i scraped it up and scooped it out so we could have dinner

and now, the REAL update

i've made so much progress on my acnh island :) which as a reminder is my first ever one that i started back in march 2020, and on which i still have my two starter villagers, katt and roald. and also vivian, goldia, maple, and poppy who are all from 2020, as well.

the entire island is almost completely done.

all that remains? the beaches at the front of the island (where visitors can "rent" cars, bikes, scooters, and boats), the transition area between the road and the beach in the northeast corner, and the hiking/camping area in the southwest corner (which i have started working on and it looks so cute).

literally everything else is done.

so i started working on redecorating the inside of my house :)

i had redone my bedroom already like AGES ago and it's perfect and purple (i also relocated it from the back room to the upstairs)

but my main room has been a chaotic mess for YEARS at this point

so i redid it to be deserty/look southwestern in style bc i made the cliff area outside of my house into a little desert oasis :) they literally gave us saguaro cactuses in the update how am i supposed to NOT incorporate them somehow???

and i started laying the groundwork for redoing the kitchen, for a mystical magic room in the back, and redoing the bathroom, as well.

i MIGHT redo the basement, but it looks p good for me having done it literally in like 2020. it's decorated like a really nice and cozy spare bedroom and study/library.

and so i am very happy with all of this. it looks incredible. and my villagers are so fucking cute and lovely (katt, roald, vivian, goldie, maple, poppy, maddie, dobie, shep, punchy).

and i really want to finish so i can update my DA and then submit it to an acnh streamer/youtuber so they can do a tour and compliment me bc i'm really proud of it. it's dopey as fuck but like--FINALLY i have a cool and commendable island. i did it for ME, but now i'm so happy w it that i'm like actually i really want to show ppl this, i love it so much

i've also redecorated the inside of every villager's house--except for shep, bc quite frankly, his original game house is actually kind of fucking amazing and perfect as is? i really love it. i wouldn't change much. i might wanna give him somewhere to sit, though. lol

but yeah i've just done a LOT and i'm really happy with it. after SO MANY TIMES flattening the island and starting over, i actually really like it now.

i made it into a town. every villager has their little business/attraction. i treat this as a little tourist-y place where ppl come to visit [steadfastly ignores irl tourism problems bc really this entire game is built off of harvesting resources and building in wilderness so like y'know]. and the roads and sidewalks and plants and all the decorations and the places they can visit--it's all just very cute.

and i'm doing my best to use all of the furniture items i've wanted to use, and all of the build ideas i've had for ages.

my favorite thing is that ages ago i decided to have a shakespeare in the park outdoor theater area--and i've just moved it around two or three times, and now i have it in the back in this little sunken area between maple's bookstore and goldie's bakery. and it still looks cool as fuck.

like i want to draw up a map/guide for the island or commission someone to do that for me (lol i have no money and i wouldn't know who to go with lol) bc i just am really happy with it. ☺️

anyway that's my life. ....:))))))

godfuckingdamnit i just realized that there's a spot on my island that breaks immersion. there's a drive-in movie theater but there's literally no way for the cars to have driven there. fuck me.

WHATEVER.

i've been working on this for MONTHS now, it took me forever, i'm not changing it, and it didn't occur to me until just now so hopefully no one else fucking notices 🙃🙃🙃

......fuck, no, i COULD fix it, possible. it would be kind of ridiculous and a huge pain in the ass bc i just spent forever filling those areas with flora and butterfly models......but i could do it.

fuck.

i'll think abt it.

godfuckingdamnit.