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hansluvs · 8 months ago

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close to you — itoshi s.

i burn for you, and you don't even know my name - in which you make your debut into the ton expecting to find true love, and instead catch the attention of piercing teal eyes belonging to the man you swore to never acquaint yourself with.

wc: 3.1k+ (ongoing)

tags: regency au, itoshi sae x f!reader, strangers to lovers, (eventual) mutual pining, slow burn, sae is a little shit in every universe i will die on this hill

notes: took me a few months to get back to this but here it finally is! very excited for this idea it's been fermenting in my brain for a while

masterlist | next part

Your mother was one of the kindest people you knew.

Needing to raise a total of seven children, you’d think that even the effervescent Lady Nagi would have grown tired and snappish, rushing to marry off her daughters and son one by one until the house no longer had creaking floorboards from a dozen feet running over them, or relentless chatter and laughter echoing from the drawing room every morning.

But instead, you and your siblings grew up never wanting to leave your home. Your sisters had all melted into your mother’s shoulder on the day of their betrothal, promises to visit every day accompanying soft sobs as your mother merely smiled and gave each one a kiss on the forehead, then proceeded to fuss over their white gowns and rouge coloured cheeks.

One by one, until all that was left was you and your brother.

With your current situation, however, it seems now that you most certainly will never leave your home, at all.

“Maybe the callers are having a difficult time finding the estate?”

You heave another sigh, sinking further into the plush blue cushions of the sofa. You almost wish you could fall into it and never be seen again.

“My darling, please sit up,” you had half a mind to look up after hearing your mother’s pleading tone, but one glance at the clock above the fireplace has you in a dejected mood once more. “You’ll wrinkle your dress.”

“It is already past noon, Mama. I do not believe any callers are to arrive anymore.”

As you glance at your mother, you’re met with her knowing gray eyes, crinkled in what was supposed to be a comforting smile. But you knew that it pained her seeing you like this, especially the day after you'd attended your first ball.

Where you had met one strange man with teal eyes and a knowing look.

The same look he wore when you had first seen him at the Queen Consort’s solstice dinner one summer ago, as he was heatedly locking lips with one of Lord Kunigami’s daughters behind one of the stone columns in the royal palace’s gallery— where you had been unfortunate enough to sneak away to the moment your mother’s attention had strayed from you.

You can still remember the heaving of Miss Ada’s lace-covered chest, how she combed her fingers through the dark burgundy locks as she threw her head back, spilling profanities that you were certain her father would have her locked up in their estate for, had someone with a penchant for society gossip heard.

But most of all, you could never forget how Itoshi Sae looked, with red-bitten lips and that piercing azure gaze. Almost as if he was taunting you from across the candlelit room, daring you to run and tell someone or worse– to come closer.

The sound of several footsteps echoing in the hallway snaps you out of your daze as the pair of you turn to the front of the room, where your brother, Seishiro, and your childhood friend and neighbor Reo had made their entrance.

Seishiro merely gives you a nod and half-heartedly hugs your mother, then heads straight to the sofa.

Reo, ever the gentleman, greets her first a lovely afternoon followed by a kiss on the hand, then turns to you with a saccharine grin that, only with two decades of being his friend and knowing all of his sneaky little antics, tells you that there must be some kind of trouble lurking around the corner. However, none of that could have ever prepared you for the actual trouble awaiting;

Until that trouble rounds the corner and enters the room in the form of Itoshi Sae.

Your breathing all but stops as the enigma of a man you'd encountered only the night before now stands in the middle of your home; a place so different and much dearer to your heart compared to the vastness of the Isagi estate's ballroom.

Itoshi Sae wastes no time, and turns to address the lady of the house– your mother, with a bow.

“Good afternoon, Lady Nagi. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, I am Itoshi Sae.”

Your mother, the graceful woman that she is, doesn’t miss a beat and offers a curtsy in return. She flashes a gentle smile as she greets him. “Lord Sae, what a pleasure to have you in our home. Please, have a seat.”

You all take this as a signal to look for a spot on either of the two lounges or settees in the room, but are compelled to remain upright as your guest stays standing.

“Actually, my Lady, I have come to call on your daughter, if I may.”

All eight pairs of eyes suddenly fell on you as the words had left Itoshi Sae’s lips.

You swear you could almost feel each of your family's emotions in the moment as you glanced from one set of eyes to another: Seishiro’s indifference. Reo’s surprise and immediate anticipation. Your mother’s hope, bubbling behind those silver eyes– but most surprisingly of all, the complete sincerity in Itoshi Sae's turquoise orbs.

It took you all of ten seconds to realize that they were actually waiting for you to respond.

“Oh! Well- well, of course!” you sputter, almost choking on your own spit. You clear your throat in a last attempt to desperately save your already shattered dignity and take in a deep breath. “It would be an honour, my Lord.”

Reo all but drags Seishiro out of the drawing room when your mother leaves to call for the cooks to prepare an afternoon tea, and the housekeepers to tidy the room. Which technically left you alone, in the presence of Itoshi Sae, again.

You were starting to believe that you were being punished by God for intruding on a pair of lovers, by sending one of them to intrude on your life in return. God must have a dismal sense of humor, you thought.

As if you hadn't been surprised more times in the past twenty minutes than you had your whole life, the man in front of you startles you once more.

“I apologise for coming late.”

He turns to look at you when you remain silent, mouth twitching up in the slightest bit of amusement as he takes in sight of you, brows drawn together and lips pursed in confusion as you absorb his words. He takes this as a chance to keep talking. “I believe it is expected of callers to arrive in the morning.”

“Well, yes. They do, but I never expected you of all people to call on me,” you mutter, voiced laced with disbelief and ready to push on, before you remember who it is you were standing in front of.

“...My Lord.”

“What?”

“Nothing! I simply forgot to call you that,” you trail off, feeling the awkwardness of the situation and almost wanting to slice it with the breadknife that one of the maids was arranging on the tea table.

After a few moments of silence, with nothing but the tinkling of silverware and the scurrying of feet echoing around the room, you nearly jump out of your skin as Itoshi Sae clears his throat and starts heading for the doors, where your mother has made her reappearance.

“My Lord, my sincerest apologies for the wait,” she smiles as she sees him approaching. “The chefs are preparing the pastries as we speak. Might there be something you’d like to request?”

“Yes," he nods.

"I’d like to take your daughter out on a promenade. I believe it’d be the best setting for us to get acquainted with one another.”

#but do you know (you’re demolishing me)#itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #blue lock #bllk #itoshi sae fic

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homestylehughes · 10 months ago

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But Daddy I Love Him

instagram au.

♥︎ luke hughes x zegras! sister

♥︎ face claim: marsai martin

"I'll tell you something right now, I'd rather burn my whole life down. Than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning"

yn.zegras

liked by lhughes_06, and trevorzegras, and 159,678 others

yn.zegras no more moaning and groaning, part 1 of my summer dump is here <3

trevorzegras waiting for me to be posted.

↳ yn.zegras answer your phone and then i'll think about it.

lhughes_06 YESS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS

↳ yn.zegras ME TOO POOKIE BUTT

lhughes_06 i reallllyyyyyyy hope I make the cut this summer!!

↳ yn.zegras baby you're in the first photo..

jackhughes DUMPY!

↳ yn.zegras shit?

↳ jackhughes oh thats not...what I meant...

_quinnhughes so many books, did you read all of those?

↳ yn.zegras i read all of them, matter of fact.

↳ _quinnhughes nerd.

seamsuscasey26 the queen has posted again..gone for a MONTH. how could you leave us high AND dry. where am I supposed to find pictures of mother and father at???? 0/10 never do that again.

↳ yn.zegras IM SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! IM BEGGING!

↳ seamsuscasey26 just this once, I will. next time we all ride at dawn.

your.bsf my pretty girl ( please post me..I'm begging)

↳ yn.zegras you're next bbg, i would NEVER forget about you my queen.

lhughes_06

liked by yn.zegras, jackhughes and 100,705 others

lhughes_06 summer lovin'

seamsuscasey26 I'm first, where is my shout-out!

↳ lhughes_06 SHOUT OUT TO SEAMSUS CASEY GUYS. THIS GUY IS A NATIONAL TREASURE.

↳ seamsuscasey26 thank you. I'm glad I'm getting the credit that I earned.

_quinnhughes little bro back on the gram

↳ lhughes_06 back like I never left

jackhughes WE ARE BACK BABBBBYYYYYY

↳ lhughes_06 BACK BABBBBBYYYY

trevorzegras luke. we talked about this..the first picture is..ridiculous.

↳ lhughes_06 yes father.

yn.zegras my pretty boyyyyyyy

↳ lhughes_06 my pretty girl

yn.zegras ANOTHER BANGER POST!!!!!!

↳ lhughes_06 yn..you sound like seamsus

adamfantilli miss you brotha! see ya on the ice this season!!

↳ lhughes_06 miss you too! they're not ready for us this season

nick_moldenhauer lukie pookie posted!!

↳ lhughes_06 I know you missed my posts sooo much

-----------------------------------♡-----------------------------------------

an: HIIIIII!!! I MISSED YOU GUYS!!! GUESS WHOS BACKKKK!!! MEEE! well I'm kinda back, life has been so crazy and I literally haven't had time to write but I'm home for the weekend from school so I'm hoping to have at least 2 fics out while I'm here!! I hope you all are doing well. also I just realized this series is almost over SAD!!! anyways I'm done yapping. bye for nowwwwww, I love you all sooooo much<3

tags🎀: @lukey-pookie-hughes43 @bruinsfan234 @bunbunbl0gs

#nhl fanfiction #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl fic #new jersey devils #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes imagine #luke hughes fic #instagram au

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mmmichyyy · 2 years ago

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🌸 gallavich fic rec list 🌸

welcome to my 2023 fic rec list! i went through my ao3 bookmarks and my tumblr tags from this year so here's some (not all, or else this post would go on forever) of my fave (new & older) one-shots, completed multi-chaps, wips & ficlets <3

make sure to check out my 2021 list & my 2022 list ! since i'm not going to include fics i've mentioned before in this year's list :)

& don't forget to check out @gallavichfanficlibrary @gallavich-fic-club @gallavichthings @thegallavault for more recs plus @galladrabbles & @gallavichmeta too ✨ let's go!

one-shots:

doesn't matter where we go by @heymacy (The boys take a road trip.)

to think that we could stay the same by teatrolley (post-breakup au, but Mickey gets out of prison, Caleb doesn't exist, and we get really into their past and Ian’s (struggling) head)

of going home by @lalazeewrites (Valiant has taken the greatest fall from grace the superhero world has witnessed in years. The Shrike is an unregistered vigilante who doesn't even ping the radar of Chicago's crime fighting scene. Ian is forcibly put on leave from his job and returns to the Gallagher house, a failure all over again. Not only does he not know what Mickey does when the world goes dark, he doesn't know that Mickey is still living southside at all. Not since the events of eight years ago.)

quiet by @babygirlmickey (In the quiet of a perceived absence of scrutiny, Mickey can be incontrovertibly tender. Or: 5 times Mickey lets his guard down, as observed by various third parties.)

all i need in this life of sin (is me and my husband) by literatii (As embarrassing as it might be, Ian is not only his husband but also his best friend, and Mickey is pretty damn okay with that. Why the fuck would he find other people to do the exact same shit with that he already does with Ian, minus the fucking, when he can just do that shit with Ian plus the fucking? It makes no sense. Or: Ian wants the two of them to have more friends. Mickey doesn’t.)

thirteen hours by @crossmydna (Ian has known for thirteen hours that he’s not crossing the border with Mickey, so he makes the most of the time he has left with him.)

queen of decatur by jaxington (“How’d you know that?” Ian asks, smelling chum in the water, the observant little fuck. “Not like your brothers are getting sent to lady prison all that often.” Mickey thumbs at his lip, trying to find a way out of this conversation. It probably wouldn’t be too hard to distract Ian just by taking of his pants, but he is trying this new thing where he actually tells Ian what’s going on in his head. “No.” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “It’s my mom.”)

like strings of fire by @gardenerian (mickey finds a safe and colorful way for ian to indulge himself when hypersexuality rears its ugly head.)

the needle and the burning body by squash (jesuisgourde) (Mickey had two burning torches for hands but he knew what to do with them. Ian's head was on fire and all he knew was how to run and keep running. How to find a cliff and jump off. How to make Mickey chase after him, again and again. And in a cold cell in prison, Mickey catches him.)

some fucked up romcom by godisthedice (Two years after they locked him up, Mickey told himself that he was done with Ian fucking Gallagher for good. Two years as a free man and he's marrying him for all the wrong reasons.)

when the sun goes down by @sam-loves-seb (super cute and fluffy lifeguard au!)

lava java by @stocious (He's being really unprofessional. Mickey might not even be gay. He might be hitting on a straight man through takeout cups.)

here's to hoping i'm not what kills you by @crestfallercanyon (After a confrontation gone bad, Mickey and the Gallaghers get Ian to the hospital. And look, Mickey always knew that if the Gallaghers had a will they'd find a way, but being roped into their schemes himself wasn't something he'd planned on signing on for. All the Gallaghers need to know is Mickey's helping out because he's not pure fucking evil. They don't need to know Mickey was scared shitless when Ian got knocked unconscious, Jesus, he can barely admit that to himself. Once Mickey knows Ian's not dead and not dying, he's out of there. Except he can't bring himself to leave.)

to the thawing wind by @gardenerian (Living and working in the icy chill of an endless winter, Ian and his family are assigned to work the farms to bolster food supply. They live quietly enough, following the rules, until Mickey and Mandy Milkovich (with all their secrets) are moved in across the road.)

i'll come meet you where you are by @crestfallercanyon (Mickey comes back from prison with a ring of vicious bruises around his neck and an edge to him Ian doesn't recognize. But he came back. He came back, and now it's time for Ian to meet him halfway.

closing in walls and ticking clocks by c_cups_bitch_u_wish (So, this is happening. Mickey is sitting in the corner of the bedroom on the comfiest fucking chair he’s ever sat in, and his adult self and adult Ian are about to fuck. And he’s going to watch. What's most odd is that this doesn't even feel like the weirdest thing to happen to him today.)

a spark of fire by @lingy910y (“You wanted us to finally have some time alone. You wanted to keep me safe, but you didn’t really care as long as we were together. You didn’t want it to end.” Mickey swallows a lump in his throat. “I…I don’t fuckin’ know.” “But can I, uh, ask you something else?” Ian rubs his thumbs together. “You like me, Mick. You fucking like me.”)

flip fuck? by @gallawitchxx (Mickey’s always thought that Valentine’s Day was fucking gay. But then some dramatic, ginger fuckhead had to move into the room next to his, and steal his hole, his heart, and the attention of his tumblr mutuals. Mickey decides to keep it lowkey when he asks Ian to spend the evening together: You wanna hang out on Tuesday? Ian’s response is quick and gives absolutely nothing away: Sure thing! That big-dicked idiot better remember it’s fucking Valentine’s Day.)

completed:

prelude motel by @whatthebodygraspsnot (When Mickey’s secret spot is infiltrated by an intriguing stranger, all the warning signs are there. Despite the voice in the back of his head telling him to disengage, he can’t help but bite off more than he can chew, running straight back to the spot and the stranger when a job leaves him injured. Enter: the Prelude Motel - where, for the next three days, Mickey finds himself hiding from more than just his pursuers.)

garden song (series) by @gardenerian (two gorgeous fics about ian's bipolar, about hope, healing, and tomatoes)

better by anomalously (It's been ten years since Ian's seen Mickey.)

in your love by @sgtmickeyslaughter (Mickey had been out of prison for 2 years and Ian never would have known until they ran into one another on a random night in May. Ian fights for the love they shared while Mickey fights for the life he built, as they both struggle with shame and guilt from their shared past it becomes clear that they cannot help but be drawn to what is bright and beautiful between them.)

whumptober 2023 (series) by @sam-loves-seb (21 beautiful fics of angst & hurt/comfort)

out of nowhere by @suzy-queued (Ian should have never offered to hide his father's stash of gold. Now he's stuck living on a deserted piece of land in the woods, alone, losing his sanity. Mickey wants nothing more than to disappear — from prison, from his family, from the entire world. If only he knew where to get his hands on a cool million. The Gallagher gold. Mickey wants it. Ian will do anything to protect it. Who will cave first?)

all these things i have left to say to you by @crestfallercanyon (After all this time that Ian's been missing, he leaves a tape recorder on Mickey's pillow. And on it? An hour of pure, unfiltered, Ian audio that is all, apparently, dedicated to him.)

wips:

keys to my heart by @milkovichrules (Ian finds his stable college life getting difficult when a new neighbour moves into the dorms.)

intro to quantum dating by @spoonfulstar (another college au) (one of my fave fics of all time!!)

the ink is a witness to this by @palepinkgoat (six chapters about the stories tattoos can hold and hide.)

order up by @heymacy (Ian and Mickey work together at a Chicago diner. They like to push each other's buttons - all their buttons. How long until the dam finally breaks?)

second chapters by @squidyyy23 (When Mickey’s PO assigns him a job at the local library, he’s pleasantly surprised—not that he’d ever admit it. Practically lived in the prison library, and what better way to start his new life than with a career he might actually enjoy. And when he meets the charming, clever, utterly fuckable, redheaded children’s librarian, well, shit just keeps getting better and better. Mickey’s definitely not interested in anything serious right now, but what’s the harm in a little fun?)

electric blue by @goodkwuestion (Paramedic Ian Gallagher knows true love exists. He's not going to settle until he finds it either, no matter how much his friends and family roll their eyes at him. Mickey Milkovich, on the other hand, isn't sure about all that stuff. He's an engineer with a long to-do list, and chasing rainbows isn't on it. He'll never say no to a good time and a pretty face though. When they meet, it will feel like kismet, something inevitable that neither of them can shake. Honestly though, who would want to? Falling in love can be the easiest thing in the world, especially when the whole universe is rooting for you... That's if the whole universe is rooting for you.)

ficlets:

all of @heymrspatel's drabbles, especially this one of ian being self-conscious about his body

docks scene & birthday suit gardening ficlets by @metalheadmickey

all of @lupeloto's sweet & domestic ficlets

@sam-loves-seb's meta about ian being the moon and mickey being the sun

ian's birthday ficlet & 31 ways we never meet (a.u.gust 2023 ficlets) by @callivich

airport confessions by @dynamic-power

gallavich drabbles by @whatthebodygraspsnot

all of @howlinchickhowl's a.u.gust 2023 ficlets!

(if you made it this far, i also write fics occasionally too so here's a self-promo lol)

#gallavich fic rec #gallavich fic #ian and mickey fic #gallavich fic recs #ian x mickey #gallavich

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eddiemunson-reader-shame · 7 months ago

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A Freak and a Basket Case— The “Seven Inches of Satanic Panic” Edition

An Eddie Munson x OC Fanfic

[ Click here for “Sounds From A Freak and A Basket Case” ]

All my love to @writhingg and @eddiemunsonmash for some productive workshop sessions that helped me get chapter 2 out.

This was one of my favorite chapters to do, honestly. I loved writing from Eddie’s POV and adding that little bit of spice that was the true Poverty Experience™️. Oh and especially the Lamb Chop references. Today I learned that Lamb Chop was a drunk back in the 70’s.

Warnings: period typical racism, swearing, mentions of suicide, mentions of abuse (more tags to be added as the story progresses), references to the film “Deliverance”

Divider by: @strangergraphics-archive

[Previous Chapter] — [Master List] — [Next Chapter]

Chapter Two - Made in Heaven

“ When stormy weather comes around

It was made in heaven.

When sunny skies break through behind the clouds

I wish it could last forever… ” - Queen

The ’85-’86 academic year had to be his year.

It had to be.

It was his last shot. The last hoorah. He had just barely made the cutoff age at twenty for his re-attempt, and it was a miracle in itself that Principal Higgins had a modicum of decency to give him a break and let him even try to attend school again. He would be cutting it too close for comfort, and during the summer, Eddie Munson had sworn to his uncle that he would get his head out of his ass this time around. No more screw ups. No more bullshit scams. No more throwing his life away to be something he wasn’t.

He was going to graduate, and once that diploma was in his hands, he was going to get the hell out of Hawkins and live his goddamn life.

That promise was made at the beginning of summer break. Once school ended in the middle of May, all shackles of oppression were off: he was able to sleep in, hotbox the feelings of shame and guilt away in his van, and gorge on junk food during unholy hours of the early morning before passing out until noon. Hello darkness, my old friend.

Now in August, it was back to hell. Uncle Wayne was coming into his room at four thirty in the morning and kicking the mattress, jolting Eddie awake to get dressed. He’d done it, and then instantly fell back asleep until the shrill sound of the radio alarm pierced through his ear drums. Conveniently just before he’d had the chance to fully wake up. Eddie was ready to throw in the fucking towel by the time he threw a half ass lunch together and got into the van, bitter thoughts swarming in his mind.

Fuck it. Kick me out of school. See if I give two shits. Do me a fucking kindness.

It was one of those things one didn’t really mean, but in his heart he knew he could only slam his head against the brick wall so many times before it got old. School was going to get easier, and he was just going to continue getting tired and bored of what he felt was busywork. Since third grade, all work felt like busywork. Eddie could recall the answers in the textbooks and run circles around the teacher in calculus, but with the constant depression, school didn’t hold his interest long enough for him to really care.

He was at the point where he was forgetting what was important.

Last year was a year of losses. Almost losing the Hellfire Club to bullshit blackmail orchestrated by a sadistic son of a bitch of a principal that he did not fully trust. Ronnie had at least reached out via letter after a time, and she sent a few clipped sentences written with an electric typewriter all the way from New York whenever she had enough money left over from dorm expenses to buy postage stamps. But Dougie had gone nuclear. Played nice that one campaign, and then never talked to Eddie again. Whenever Eddie saw the messers Teague in their HVAC truck, Dougie made a point to look the other way. He had never quite forgiven his best friend for what he had almost undone.

And then there was Paige…

Eddie had been thinking of that mess for some reason, nonstop the first day back at school. Paige was probably still doing the same old thing, images of record deals and bigwig execs sucking their penis sized cigars, laughing at a table she headed, danced in his mind’s eye. Almost as if mocking himself, he’d hear: This is what you could have had if you’d just not fucked it up. This is what you could have had if you’d just been a rockstar, not a Munson.

Hawkins wasn’t cursed, Eddie was. Straight up.

After running late, getting stuck behind a green Dodge with wood paneling, battling the commuters during the clusterfuck that constituted rush hour in Hawkins, nearly sideswiping his van when trying to get over into another lane, he was done. He didn’t know why he bothered to hurry anymore. There was nowhere to go, and no money for the gas it cost to get there. Emotions were running high and low, he felt like he was trapped on a broken-down roller coaster at a shoddy side of the road carnival. Wanting to jump off, throw up, scream, and cry all at once as the reality of everything set in.

Eddie Munson had fucked everything up. Lost a potential record deal, lost a girl, and lost friends over his own stupidity. Once in a lifetime opportunities lost to the ages in the year of 1984.

’86 had to be his year. Otherwise, he had nothing else left.

He was on his way to his locker when a string bean of a freshman wearing khakis and a button down polo from the Gap slammed into him from behind. Eddie immediately turned around to catch him before he hit the ground. The kid yelled out at someone as Eddie lifted him by the armpits. After asking the dazed boy if he was okay, Eddie then looked for the attacker in the crowd of students. He assumed it was a jock, it always was, but he saw no suspicious green letterman jackets lurking in the throng of mindless zombies looking to get their class schedules and locker assignments.

Something was different in the air. He could sense it.

There was a gaggle of girls laughing and pointing, but he couldn’t see the object of their teasing. Once he came within five feet of their gaggle, they saw Eddie the Freak and bolted. So far the first day back was shaping up to be one of those weird days. Stopping to piss before homeroom, Eddie was mid stream at the urinal when he heard whispers from the stalls behind him. Vitriol most vile of some bitch that had run crying in the girl’s bathroom. Between farts, the other guys described a curly haired dork dressed for a cold front in August apparently was trying to terrorize the school.

“She’s some gap-toothed bitch of a basket case.” One of them said, “Ugly as hell too.”

For obvious reasons, Eddie was intrigued. A gap-toothed bitch of a basket case was new. Especially ones wearing winter coats in summer when the humidity drowned you before the heat got to you. He doubted there was any merit to the rumor that she was ugly, truth be told, but he had to see it for himself. Zipping his fly and giving his hands a careless rinse, he immediately vacated the bathroom to conduct his research. The journey to find the bitch took him high and low, and he decided to ditch his first period class to see if he could catch a glimpse.

Fifteen minutes had gone by, and there was no sign of her anywhere. Sighing, he made up his mind that maybe he’d misheard the whispers. Maybe it was just some bullshit that two morons made up in the spur of the moment.

And then like an answer to his prayers he heard a siren call:

Metallica on cassette. Kill ‘Em All Album. Side 1. Approximately thirty nine minutes and six seconds into the album. Track number nine. Seek and Destroy.

Blasting so goddamned loud that from his distance it sounded faint, but he knew that whoever was listening to it directly would be deaf before their twenty-first birthday.

He saw a short girl beelining passed him for the front door, and instantly Eddie was fascinated.

Ah ha! Speak of the devil, there was the little basket case herself.

Sure enough, she was all bundled up in her jacket like a blue collar worker braving a blizzard, gray skirt swishing as she power walked down the hall. The music beckoned to him, and the Black Sabbath patch on her blue backpack encouraged him to follow. Despite the stormy look on the girl’s face and the fuck off aura radiating from her, Eddie couldn’t help but allow the admiration to take over.

Seek and Destroy was one of Eddie’s screaming vents to the ether when the world pulled down its drawers and took a shit on him.

He wondered if the world had done the same to her.

He wasn’t intimidated, he wasn’t repulsed by her demeanor or appearance. Quite the contrary, Eddie could see something in the way the girl’s body communicated to the world:

She wasn’t a bitch, or a basket case. This was one of his little lost sheep. A lost, pathetic little lamb. Bleeding from the heart. Trying to butt heads with everyone and everything, unaware that the world was fanged and scary, and it could spit her out in a malformed bolus should it so desire. And yet she was still trying to fight back.

It was as if his body was moving of his own accord. His heart knew before his brain could logically process what was happening. A compulsion— his inner wild child— sent signals to his feet to quicken his pace as he raced after her. Adrenaline was coursing through him as he heard nothing but the steady pace of her gait matching the pulse of Seek and Destroy. Eddie didn’t stop until he was so close to her, he was breathing in her scent.

Fresh lemons.

Citrusy.

Sugary.

Delectable.

In a sudden burst of confidence, both hands flashed out and snatched her by the backpack straps, yanking her up until she was flush against him. He pulled off her headphones, getting in close until his lips were grazing the shell of her ear.

“You’ve got bitchin’ taste in music there, princess. Metallica, right?”

“FUCK ME FREDDY!” She bleated.

Her scream cut him off, and he held onto the girl like he was holding a wild stallion steady. Nearly went up with her when she jumped like a frog. Eddie kept her pressed to his chest, her own heaving with fear.

“You scared the shit out of me!” She cried.

Laughing hard, he spun her around to face him, hands steadying her broad shoulders as he smiled in her face.

“Sorry, sorry… Relax. Didn’t mean to scare you there. But hey, at least that got your attention, right?” He grinned.

The girl hit the Walkman’s pause button and killed the music, looking up with a stormy and defiant expression. Her eyes, minimized by the thick coke bottle lenses within the frames of her glasses, began to soften when she looked at him. He could see the tightly wound tension leave her body. The facade was slipping. Before him was an individual army crawling through hell to survive.

“You uh… you heard my music, huh?” She murmured.

Eddie nodded enthusiastically.

“Oh yeah. From all the way down the hall. You like Metallica?” he asked.

“Uh huh…”

He gave another full dimple smile at the shy answer. Adorable.

“Hell yeah, good taste. Metallica is one of my favorites too.” He replied, “Let me guess, you had someone show you their music, right?”

There was a brief hesitation as she gathered her thoughts.

“… Kind of. A lot of my tios- my uncles- like their music. My brother likes them too.”

“Older or younger brother?” Eddie asked.

“Older…”

“He get you into metal?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She said, “He started me on Black Sabbath and Ozzy when I was a kid. Um, and they’re my favorites. My dad was the one who showed me Alice Cooper, and Mötley Crüe…”

“Rad… your dad and your brother got you set up with the best of the best.”

He noticed she wasn’t much for eye contact. As hard as he tried to meet her gaze, she wouldn’t look right at him. It seemed as if she was closing herself off from everyone, a purposeful and calculated act. Understandable if Eddie was being honest. The girl’s eyes were red rimmed, nose still red and dripping like a moistened cherry, and her thick glasses were smudged with tears.

The morning must not have been kind. For a moment he saw her vulnerability in her sorrows, and he remembered that she was just a lost little lamb.

“I’m Eddie, by the way.” he said gently, holding out his hand as the chainlinks on his bracelet clinked.

The lamb cocked her head to the side, sweet little face looking up at him as if expecting a trick.

“Eddie?”

“Yup.”

Eddie playfully popped the consonant at the end, and he tried to give a sweet disarming smile to show his sincerity.

“That’s me… Eddie Munson. Hi.”

Gently, slowly, he felt a warm, shaky hand envelop his. He shook it just enough; not too firm of a handshake that he scared her off, but not so weak that it seemed he didn’t want to touch her. Because, if the way his heart was racing was any indication, he very much did want to touch her, and some part of him yet wanted her to know it.

After gulping, clearing her throat, and glancing briefly up at him with wide, brown eyes, she finally spoke up.

“My favorite person in the whole wide world is an Eddie…” the lamb mumbled softly.

“Yeah? Who’s this other Eddie?” He raised an eyebrow, dimples showing with the big cheeser he had on his face.

He noticed she wasn’t in any big hurry to let go of his hand. His ringed fingers squeezed her hand to ecourage her.

“Um… uh…” she attempted.

God… she was so cute when she was scared. She had that soft murmur like the little drunk sock puppet lamb that Eddie loved as a kid. What the hell was its name…?

“Eddie V-… Eddie Van Halen…” she stammered.

Eddie’s heart nearly stopped. Eddie Van Halen was a fucking god among men. His guitar skills were phenomenal, and Van Halen was also the reason why Eddie had gotten punished with the buzz cut in middle school. After that, Eddie tried growing it out again, finally successful.

“No way, are you shitting me right now?” he demanded.

Lamb shook her head.

“No… I’ve seen him live… he’s… he’s really cool.”

Inhale through the nose, hold for five seconds, exhale through the mouth so he didn’t start having a heart attack.

“How the hell did you end up going to one of those concerts?” He managed.

“… my dad. He took me for an early birthday present…”

So okay… skittish little lamb evidently had good taste in music, had a dad that took her to concerts like Van Halen as an early birthday present, and was just parading around the school halls unattended?!

“They were pit side. I got one of the shirts at my house.” She continued, oblivious to his existential crisis.

God dammit… No. There’s no way. There’s no way in the hell that this little thing in the brown jacket was real…

“Which concert was it?” He croaked tentatively.

“The 1984 tour last year… I saw them and Autograph play… Live in Albuquerque.”

He had to stop her right there.

“Okay wait… Just wha— hold on, your dad seriously took you out of Indiana all the way into the middle of nowhere in buttfuck Albuquerque, New Mexico just to see Van Halen… for your birthday?!”

He would have known if some girl from Hawkins was going out of state for Van Fucking Halen’s 1984 tour for their sixth studio album. Both him and Ronnie had been trying to scrounge up money for tickets, but between the two of them selling the last of their food stamps, they’d still managed to come up short. The first leg of the tour didn’t come closer than Roanoke, but when the concert started migrating towards Indianapolis, the rent on the Forest Hills lots experienced a price hike. Because Ronnie and Eddie had still wanted to come home to a roof over their heads every day, they had given up on trying to make it to the show in Indy and forfeited the cash to Wayne and Granny Ecker.

Meanwhile, this girl had been right there in the middle of the action. Basking in David Lee Roth’s versatile vocal range and listening to Van Halen himself shred the shit out of his Fender.

“Wait, wait…” he suddenly realized she said she had seen them in Albuquerque, not in Indianapolis.

“They came to Indiana three times, and you went to New Mexico?! How in hell did your dad figure going to a whole different state to see Van Halen play was a feasible option?! That’s a twelve hour drive at least!” Eddie demanded.

“I used to live in New Mexico, like… not that far from Albuquerque.” She said softly. “I’m not from here…”

Yeah, yeah of course she wasn’t from Hawkins. Eddie should have figured. There was no way in shit someone as cool as this little lamb, someone who had been pit side to Van Halen, could be from Indiana. It almost gave him flashbacks to shades of his ex, and he nearly wanted to pull away from the conversation entirely. Don’t go messing around with out-of-town ass, Jeff had told him. In fact, none of his crew even wanted him to start messing around with any kind of ass again after he’d been trying to uproot his life for a woman.

Yet this one was so quiet, and at the very least they were both on the same high school turf. Couldn’t they at least be friends? Even if he was still uncertain about the potential age gap problems, he knew if he let this sweet face just become a random anecdote in the annals of time, he would be throwing up for weeks and contemplating the jump into traffic. Especially if he saw her being poached by someone else, and God help him if the goons on the basketball team sniffed her out. Big guys that threw around their athletic power climbed over hot coals to bang short chicks, and a new girl who had no status was open season.

He pressed on. Heart racing and trying to maintain his composure so that he didn’t spook her.

“You’re from New Mexico?” Eddie asked.

She nodded.

“Could’ve fooled me, you don’t have the accent for it.” Eddie said, leaning up against one of the tan lockers.

The lamb hesitated and bit her lower lip, nodding and rocking side to side on her feet as she began to pluck at the loose threads of her jacket cuff.

“… people here don’t like to hear it. So I cover it up…” she mumbled.

Eddie let out a puff of air in annoyance.

“It’s not worth going to the trouble… You’re in Hicksville now. Hawkins isn’t the first narrow-minded white bread town, and it’s not going to be the last.” He said, waving his hand absently for emphasis, “You already have like, what, three strikes for being new, being tan, and being a chick. Sorry to say their club is restricted— if you know what I mean— couldn’t get in even if you tried. Hell, I don’t even fit in. I don’t doubt you’ll get the same amount of bullshit I do.”

“You…?” The lamb blinked, confusion written on her face, “Why would anyone make fun of you?”

Harsh laughter erupted from his throat, and he was so consumed by the absurdity of the question that he didn’t notice her flinch backward.

As if he was being crucified, Eddie held out his arms dramatically wide, his battle vest opening up to show off his Led Zeppelin baseball tee dotted with holes where the fabric had worn down from the friction between the fabric and his jean rivets.

“Take a good look at ‘Eddie The Freak’, lamb chop.” He said, voice lowering an octave and taking on a nondescript tone in the way that one might try to imitate a psychiatrist giving a mental health diagnosis.

“I’m a long haired, satan worshiping cult leader. I play disgraceful Pantera and Slayer covers in a dive bar for maybe two perpetually sloshed deadbeats and three cockroaches. I deal speed and grass to the preppy kids that have more money than sense. I lure innocents into my nonexistent basement to play my little satanic games where we sacrifice animals and engage in sodomy, and then I hotbox it in my van afterwards.”

He went on and on, the word vomit not stopping. If he was going to be honest with himself, he knew this potential thing the two had going on was dead on arrival from the moment this princess opened her purty little rose pink mouth and started talking about Van Halen.

“I’m a Munson, not a schoolboy. And Munsons are not proper Hawkins pedigree. No, no, we Munsons drop out of high school and go to jail young, and we die young in some tragic accident that leaves our kids orphaned bastards.”

She was way out of his league. From what he gathered this girl had money— or at least her dad did— if he was able to take her to shit like Van Halen concerts. Something Eddie could only dream of. Everything about this whole interaction was scary. It was scary and horrifying and the only thing he could think of doing was self sabotaging and scaring off this pretty faced lamb before he got too attached to her.

And then she frowned, still looking at the floor. It took time until she finally spoke up, looking him directly in his eyes.

“That doesn’t make no sense… Sounds like a bunch of horseshit to me.” She said.

He watched it all happen so suddenly and he couldn’t look away. His large brown eyes widening and his heart turning cartwheels in his chest when he saw the little twinkles of light, the little pinpricks of stars beginning to glimmer in her eyes as the new girl held direct eye contact with him. It wasn’t just that she was cute, because Jesus H. Christ,she was the cutest thing he’d ever seen in his life. She had so many lovely qualities: an eleven inch height difference, a round face, Rick Moranis type glasses, and the most beautiful chocolate brown eyes that glimmered, like amber cognac, in the sunlight filtering through the double doors of the school.

There was also honest to god romance novel pining on her face, soft lips parting slightly as if she wanted to speak but had lost the words. Her body moved in closer to him, and his own reciprocated purely on instinct, inviting her into his space.

Magnetism.

Pure, unadulterated magnetism.

“None of it makes any sense does it?” He said, voice so low his lamb chop had to lean further in to hear him, “But this is Hawkins. Judgemental jackanapes abound and people like you and me are lambasted for the crime of being different. Double for you I’m guessing, since you’re the new Hispanic kid in town.”

She nodded, very solemn.

“But you know what? Right now, you are the coolest fucking person in all of Hawkins.” Eddie praised.

The solemnity on the lamb’s face became joy. He wished he had complimented her sooner, because now that he had her giggling, he caught a glimpse of a huge gap between her front teeth.

“… and that’s a hell of a smile you’ve got there. And a cute laugh to match.” He smiled.

“Quit it…” she chuckled.

“Hell no, you can’t just tell me to quit it the second I give you a compliment. Gotta take the compliments where you get them. So take it.”

There was that imperfect smile again, flashing the gap and letting loose that goddamned cute giggle. The reaction he wanted. The lamb covered up her mouth as she began to shake from trying to contain the giggles. Eddie loved people like her. Naturally giddy, as if they had taken a fat hit of reefer and had the permanent giggles. But he didn’t like how she was trying to hide those gap teeth from him. He wanted to see it. Wanted to see that smile and bask in the good feeling it gave him.

“Ah ah, none of that!” He scolded, holding up a finger, “You quit hiding that pretty face from me.”

“Nuh uh!” She giggled.

“What? You don’t want me to see your teeth?”

“No!” She said, scrunching up into a ball, “No…”

A devilish grin came over Eddie’s face.

“You gonna make me get forceful here?”

“Noooooo…!” The girl whined, laughing harder as she quickly shook her head.

Eddie creeped closer. Hands to his face and fingers wriggling in anticipation.

“You knock it off, now.” He joked, his new cadence not unlike the hicks in that one John Boorman film, “Git that hand down girl, lemme see that purty mouth.”

Eddie began to wrestle the girl’s hands from her face. The squeal of delight made him holler, laughing at the moment he was having.

“Stop! Stop!” She begged, face red, “Uncle, uncle, uncle!”

“Squeal piggy, weeeeeee! Weeeeeeee!” He cried, and she gasped when it dawned on her what terrible movie he was referencing.

There was a pause, and Eddie wondered if he’d just fucked everything up with his bad Deliverance jokes.

“A la maquina!” She exclaimed, her grin huge, “You are fucked up!”

She started laughing and trying to pull away, and Eddie realized this one’s humor was just as fucked up and dark as his was.

This was heaven. He was enjoying this, enjoying the feeling of giving in to his compulsive behavior, and not having his face slapped or being punched in the stomach for it. Instead Eddie’s lamb welcomed his touch, almost craved it. She flew into a fit of hysterical laughter when he played dirty and grabbed her by the sides, tickling her pliant abdomen so that she was forced to move her hands away from her face to shield her pudgy belly.

At the end of it, Eddie was breathless with laughter, holding the girl’s sides and swaying. Coming down from the fun, he saw the full extent of that smile for the first time. No pearly whites. Just the huge, glaring gap and yellowed edges from where the toothbrush missed.

Something real… When you find it, you can’t look away…

This was real. Eddie holding this girl by the love handles was very much real. She was warm and soft and real underneath his fingertips.

“Sweet thing.” he breathed.

The lamb cocked her head, swaying side to side as she gave him a big smile. Her eyelashes were even batting at him, and they were so thick he was again reminded of the sock puppet lamb…

“There we go.” He said softly, stroking her sides, “There’s that smile. See? Much better when you’re not hiding it behind your hands.”

“My dad calls it my Elton John face.”

“He does?” Eddie grinned.

“Yeah… y’know… because of the gap. He and my brother used to call me Honky Cat when I was eleven…”

Eddie burst out laughing.

“Honky Cat?! Oh my god… that’s goddamned adorable.”

They both laughed aloud, swaying together in each other’s arms.

“Is that your name?” He asked, getting into her face and using an exaggerated southern twang, “Are you not a sweet thang? You a Honky Cat?”

Her eyes were shimmering. There were stars in them. Whole galaxies that looked at him with sincere awe.

He’d only ever seen hungry eyes before. Only ever been desired like one desired a succulent steak or a rich slice of cake. Paige’s glance had been predatory, hungry like her mama did not bother to feed her. Last year felt like he was giving up so many vital aspects of himself trying to appeal to that hungry gaze.

He felt like an imposter. Trying to change his image so the hungry gaze wouldn’t turn away from him. He thought he wanted it, a smidgeon of acceptance and a shot at a better life. But like always, everyone had taken from him; gnawing at the bones of his exquisite corpse until there was nothing left.

Paige looked at me like she wanted to eat me…

But you…

“-jandra…” she mumbled.

“Huh?”

He leaned in closer. She was red faced, twirling a lock of brown hair already curling even though it was evident she had gone through great lengths to style her hairdo straight.

“Aleja-... um… uh… Alexandra.” the lamb said, then quickly clarified when he looked at her funny, “I forgot to-… My name is Alexandra Perea. But uh, you can call me Alex…”

He frowned a little. She was holding something back. He clocked it immediately: that wasn’t her name.

“Is that really your name…?” Eddie asked.

“Kind of.” she admitted, “Um, it’s uh… It’s what everyone around here calls me, anyway.”

“What is it like, your white name or some shit like that?”

She nodded. Looked embarrassed. Like she’d gotten caught.

“What about your real name?” he insisted, “The one on your birth certificate?”

“It’s uh… It’s Alejandra.” she said.

“And do you want to be called that?”

“I don’t really care…”

“No, you need to tell me so I’m making sure I’m calling you by the right name.” he insisted, shaking his head, “Everyone always calls me Junior, or freak, or fucking Eds. Anything except what I tell them I want to be called. Makes me mad as hell. So tell me… what do you want to be called?”

“I dunno… I… well, maybe.”

He tested the name. Alejandra. Even butchered to hell, it was sweet on his tongue.

“And you’re sure you don’t want to be called anything else?” he asked, looking her in the eye.

Alejandra paused, and then shrugged.

“Okay, well then… I’ll call you Alejandra.” Eddie said, a confident smile on his face, “It suits you. I like it. And who knows? Maybe I’ll find something fun to call you later on, if you’d like me to, of course.”

There was that look again. As if she were awestruck by him, and as shocking as the feeling was, it made him feel beautiful for a split second. He felt important. He felt valued, like he’d been the epitome of good alignment his whole life and the chaotic parts of it didn’t matter.

Alejandra looked at him like she was seeing a mythical hero. As if her village was burning to the ground all around her and he’d just come in the nick of time, clad in mithril armor, immune to the flames and devastation and ready to swoop her off her feet.

But that defiance when she first faced him, the fire, it was a strength. A raw untapped power he was drawn to. Realistically he knew if he were to swoop in it wouldn’t be to save Alejandra. It would be to help this poor, mousy girl pick up her own sword and fight alongside him.

He wanted that. He wanted someone to face the demons of the past alongside him.

Eddie wanted that someone to be her.

“ Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic. ” - Frank Herbert

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x original character #eddie munson fandom

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bloodymiso · 1 year ago

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★ library gossip! anthony lockwood x gn!reader

in which you discuss the latest magazine gossip with the world’s best drama queen—apples at hand.

notes: idk how the farts i whipped this up faster than my haikyuu hcs but whatever🔥🔥. | warnings: granny apple haters dni/j

imagine discussing the latest gossip with LOCKWOOD. his eyes were glued to his newly arrived gossip magazine as he took a bite of an apple, which he often forgets on the chair—something you noticed after sitting on a 2 day old rotten apple a few days ago.

you popped into the library, a book in hand. as you walked, you hit the shelf, too focused on your book to care. lockwood’s ears perked up and he tilted his head up to face you.

“woah, you okay there?” he chuckled. “anyhoo, did you know gina—yes, gina, got a divorce with her husband. crazy, right?” he said almost immediately after his last sentence, completely brushing off the past “topic” that he brought up. you listened in, closing your book, making sure you had the bookmark in the right place.

you couldnt help but be pretty well informed with whatever cock and bull lockwood read in his magazines, he talked about it all day, everyday. even on missions. ah, the mission on king’s road, you remembered it very clearly.

the type 2 visitor approached your figures, lockwood with his rapier up, doing his fancy wancy twirly wirly shit. it attacked and as it did so, you could see it’s features, rather clearly at that. his face was structured, his jawline rather clear, and his hair was pulled back neatly, like your average london rich kid—just ugly with half the flesh on his body burned off. both of you jumped out the way and as lockwood landed on the floor, you could practically see the lightbulb beside his head.

“merlin’s beard that guy is exactly how my magazine described the man martha had an affair with!”

“bloody hell lockwood, shut up!”

remembering that past mission, you chuckled, resting your arms on lockwood’s armchair(haha armchair for arms) , leaning on it. “why is everything about relationships and marriage in that magazine?” you asked, running your fingers through his hair. “your hair is so thin.” “come on lad don’t change the subject.” he rolled his eyes and continued.

“apparently, jeffrey—gina’s husband was having an affair with gerlie, the girl next door.”

“why is everyone having affairs?”

“dunno, adults are weird. anyway—oh do you want an apple?” he asked, grabbing a light green granny apple from his little basket. you nodded, relieving it from his hands, taking a bite.

your conversation lasted over an hour, and lockwood had devoured over 3 apples in that time period. if you were standing outside the door in that said hour like a weirdo(*cough* george*cough*) you would have heard laughter almost every 5 seconds.

his smile was so contagious, even a simple sneer caused your own lips to curve up in response. you loved moments like this, laughing your asses off over stupid stuff. you loved all the shits and giggles you and lockwood had.

you giggled as you looked through the pages, stopping at a picture of a couple—the man on the left weirdly resembling lockwood. you looked at him, and he looked at you. a cheeky smile rose to his face as you playfully slapped his cheek.

“are you thinking what im thinking?” he smirked, before he could continue the thought, you slapped him again.

“this is abuse! that could be us if you werent such a meanie.” he rolled his eyes like the drama queen he is, closing the magazine and crossing his arms. you chuckled, he was pouting.

“hey im not a meanie.” you pouted back, ruffling his hair. the smirk on lockwood’s lips never fading.

“guess thats us then.” he said, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his legs.

“i—nevermind, im a meanie.”

(><) wanna support? reblog with tags pookie!! (ps. check out my may 2024 event:3 )

#lockwood & co #lockwood and co #lockwood & co x reader #lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood #lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #( ˘▽˘)っaki writes #ill add more tags later im lazy #this was originally supposed to be a scenario idk what happened

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hyunin · 10 months ago

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hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! 🥳 (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help 🙏 i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

#*ccarly #please post i'm begging tumblr .#OK I'M EDITING IT BECAUSE IT PSOTED THANK FAWK.#thank u everyone.#i don't think half of the @s in this are working i am at my limit . but whatever.#if we're mutuals pls check this even if u didn't get a notif for it 😭

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letstrywritingmaybe · 1 year ago

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I finally finished reading Catch-22 (I loved it, it’s ridiculous but it makes sense) so now I can read my last library book (it’s a Poirot one!) I’m feeling more on track writing wise too. I wrote the next chapter of the sibling verse and the powers one, and I started Mastermind. I was going to write the fake dating fic too, but I’m wondering if this is the last chapter so I’m hesitant to move forward right now… CoAi week is still the same. I’m on the last prompt and I just don’t know *sigh

Update: I really really really wish people would tag MCD. That would be really fucking great for me. And while we’re at it, I fucking wish y’all would tag the canon ship too. I’m so fucking triggered I can’t deal with it. I fucking hate this bullshit. Look I get why people write these fics and good for them, but I fucking hate them. They hold no value to me and I don’t like them and I’ll never like them. I’m so pissed right now and I can’t even do anything about it cause I support an author’s choice to write whatever the fuck they want. I just really fucking hate when it’s this same fucking shit again. I’m so over it. I’ve read it so many fucking times already. I know you can say the same about my fics too, which is why I never encourage anyone to read my fics cause it’s the same shit. I’m just fucking over it. I was having a pretty good day too till this bullshit. I hate it here. I’m gonna hope I can calm down enough to read my book and forget about how upset I am. I fucking wish I didn’t care so much about this ship that I get excited and read every fic that I haven’t read before. Tags my beloved, when authors choose to use you are the reason why I don’t completely lose my mind every time. I had a bad feeling about it too but I didn’t trust my gut cause again I was just excited. Why the fuck is it always my queen that dies and suffers and he gets to fucking move forward with his life and get a happily ever after. I’m getting flashbacks of my lunch convo over how much I fucking hate endgame too. If you’re gonna kill someone and give the other half of the ship a happy ending why can’t it be Shiho for once? I think I know of only one fucking fic where he died and she lived and married and shit. Cause even when yall decide to kill him, she’s fucking miserable and alone. What the fuck is up with that bullshit???? So he’s allowed happiness with someone else but my queen has to suffer and only love him and fuck up her own life? Fuck this noise. That’s really what I have a problem with. I fucking hate the double standard. Yeah, I’m not calm at all. This shit needs to fucking stop. Or at the very least write the fucking reverse and even it out more. Cause literally the ratio is fucking tipped all the way over on one side. I try to read fics and encourage people to continue writing but I really can’t support this nonsense. And I’m not going to. I know we have a major silent reader problem and I hate contributing to that, but also this shit sucks and I don’t want to be an asshole and tell someone to fuck off with shit I don’t like. I don’t even like book reviews that shit on a book, why would I like it on fics where the author doesn’t even get money out of it? I really need a new fandom. One that is easy and happy and has lots of fluffy fics for me to read. I’m tired of being sad every fucking day over this ship. It’s literally every fucking day. I really don’t know why I’m still here. I’m too weak to do this.

Update 2: one thing to be happy about I guess. I think it’s not technically true cause of all the fics under our tag that are really for the canon ship. But we have more CoAi fics than canon ship ones on ao3? Wow. I’m kinda surprised with the canon ship propaganda going strong still. Yeah I’m still very much annoyed over fics in our tag that are really written for the canon ship. So in my eyes we haven’t surpassed them. I started reading my book and I’m still annoyed *sigh this is gonna be a long night

#cynply ranting

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lovingmymans · 2 months ago

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Chapter Fifteen : Creepin’

Pairings : Hints of Adam Banks x Female reader

Word Count : 3.5K

Warnings : Explicit Language, Tension (good and bad), Angst, Fluff, Romance, One Cliché, Feelings, Heartbreak, Slight Violence (implied and actual), Mentions of Past Relationships, Mention of Drugs, Threats, Mommy Issues, Implied Bad things, Self Esteem Issues, Cliffhanger

Summary : A person from your past makes their presence known and they’re not going away so easy. You talk with Adam and it turns personal but you don’t run immediately.

A/N : (゜o゜)

Tag list : @elltheawkward , @favbrxnette

“Shit, my bad. I didn’t mean to push your girl.” The voice is low pitched, slightly raspy. There’s a mocking tone when they say ‘your girl’ and just by it, you can tell the apology is fake.

“It’s okay.” Adam responds, oblivious to the tone, while still holding you. “It was just an accident.”

They chuckle half-hearted. “Well your girl hasn’t said anything so I don’t think so.”

You know what game they’re playing. They’re not really looking for forgiveness from the person they ‘accidentally’ pushed. They’re just trying to get you to acknowledge them, waving the only bait they have right in front of you, waiting for you to take it.

Adam glances down at you, noticing how quiet you’ve been the whole time which wouldn’t be strange if it weren’t for the scowl on your face.

You’re weighting your options. Stay and play their game or ignore them and walk away with Adam. Either way, both would raise questions, ones you’re not ready to answer.

Fuck. Reluctantly, you turn in Adam’s hold and face the person, a neutral expression on your face.

He’s a white boy, tall and lean, matching Adam’s stature, and wears a metal band shirt with a black leather jacket over it. His fingers are covered in rings and bracelets on his wrists. His hair is fluffy in an eighties style with some strands sticking out creating some spikes.

He looks the same except his features are sharper— more mature like puberty finished hitting him—and he has a scar that goes from his cheekbone to the corner of his lips. But you had forgotten how he looked and it should’ve stayed that way.

A grin forms on his lips and he lets out a small chuckle. “Queen?”

You never thought you’d hear that nickname again and it’s not until now you realized how much you hate it. It’s like nails on a chalkboard that keeps going until the fingers bleed.

Adam furrows his brows and glances at you curiously. “Do you know him?”

“Used to.” You simply say.

The boy fakes hurt and lays a hand on his chest. “Ugh, you wound me, Queen.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ain’t that your name? We called you that back in Chicago, remember?” You don’t answer and the corners of his mouth turn downward. He tilts his head and studies you. “Did you honestly forget? All we been through, Queen.”

Your finger twitches and you quickly curl your hand into a fist. “Like that shit was so fucking meaningful. And I ain’t gonna tell you again, Todd.”

Todd’s facade drops and he smirks. Even after these years, he knows how to push your buttons which was always his favorite game. He thinks everything is one. He never took anything serious even when he should have. It’s one of the reasons why he got that scar.

Adam’s hand flexes around your waist and he pulls you closer as the tension between you and Todd grows thick. It doesn’t go unnoticed by Todd and when he glances back at Adam, there’s a glint of mischief in his eyes that neither you or Adam like.

“So you’re her next victim— sorry.” Todd laughs like it’s an honest mistake. “I mean boyfriend.”

The color drains from your face and you tense in Adam’s hold. A static like buzzing fills your ears as the air is sucked out of your lungs and your heart drops to your feet. The arcade suddenly gets too much- too loud, too bright- and you catch yourself holding onto Adam’s forearm.

“JJ.” Adam whispers softly. You lower your gaze and hum softly while Adam looks back at Todd with disdain. “We have to go.”

Todd nods. “‘Course. Team U.S.A. gotta practice for the games, right?” He goes to pat Adam on the shoulder but you block him at the same time Adam steps back. Todd smirks and pulls his hand back. “Beat those bastards and make us proud… but I know that’s gonna be hard for you, Queen.”

You glare at him through your eyelashes, your jaw clenching down hard. Adam gives him a dirty look before pulling you and walking away. You can still feel Todd’s eyes on your back though and it’s taking everything in you not to turn and throw hands.

The moment with Adam and the fun you two had is long gone and stained with Todd’s horrible presence. Adam no longer holds you as you two walk side by side, desperately trying to get back the joy but not even the cheery atmosphere of the arcade can give it.

After a few minutes, Adam glances at your profile and the lack of emotion on your face has him frowning. “How are you feeling?”

”Take a wild guess.” You mumble, voice remarking with anger, and focus on the colorful carpet.

Adam’s expression softens and his eyes dart to your hand. He thinks back to when he had calmed you a while ago. Without thinking much, he reaches out, his index finger reaching out and about to touch yours, but you suddenly stop. His eyes snaps to your face as he quickly pulls his hand back, stuffing it into his pant pocket.

You look at him but your eyes don’t meet his; they’re staring at his chest, unfocused. “Just tell me.”

Adam gets taken aback and furrows his brows. “Tell you what?”

“What you’re really thinking and don’t lie to me.”

He goes quiet. His eyes dart all over your face, taking in your features, then looks around for a few seconds before looking back at you. Adam grabs your hand and tugs you towards an empty corner of the arcade where the game machines end and the people walk by without a glance. And you let him.

The space is small and dark with little light reaching it. Adam, being the tall boy he is, manages to get a small blue glow to touch his face, one that makes his eyes stand out. He looks at you but you keep avoiding eye contact.

“You really want to know what I’m thinking?” He asks. His voice is normal but something about it has you hesitating and second guessing yourself.

You handled worse but this was different. There’s a chance the thought could be a negative one and you’re not sure if you want to hear it. More so, you’re not sure if you want to know that Adam thinks bad about you.

But you have to know.

“I’m thinking that Todd is an asshole.”

Your head snaps up and your eyes are wide as you finally meet Adam’s eye. You don’t know what surprises you more: the fact he called Todd an asshole or the fact he thinks that.

A faint smile is present on Adam’s lips but it doesn’t take away from the seriousness in his voice. “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that, especially from someone you used to know.”

You process his words and for some reason, they’re just not sticking. After what he saw and heard, Adam can’t possibly think it meant nothing.

“Why?” You blurt out without thinking. “Did you even hear what he said?”

Adam shrugs it off. ”Why would I believe a stranger? I know you, JJ. I don’t need someone who doesn’t to tell me.”

The words slip from his lips so easy like it’s the most obvious thing to say. He’s genuine with it and there’s no hint on his face that he’s lying and it leaves you speechless.

Anyone else would be suspicious. They would have questioned you. But Adam doesn’t let it sway his view of you. You’re just JJ to him and no one’s going to chance that.

A warmth blooms in your heart as you look at him with a new profound admiration. You’re relieved he didn’t let Todd’s words get to him but you’re also feeling something more- an affection that finally registers in your head.

“You sure know what to say to make a girl fall, Blondie.” You tease with a soft smile and lean against the wall. “Makes me wonder why you got no girl.”

Adam lets out a small chuckle and lowers his head. His lips part into a bashful smile and his eyelashes kiss his cheeks. A dust of pink covers his cheeks and with the soft blue glow of the lights against his skin, it makes him look ethereal.

“Hockey’s been my only priority my whole life so it’s hard to focus on anything else. But recently,” Adam lifts his head enough to meet your gaze, the bashful smile now more confident but there’s still a shyness behind it, “a girl caught my attention.”

You raise a brow but the knowing smirk that grows on your lips shows you’re not really confused. Either way, you entertain the new conversation.

“Really? And what about her caught your eye?”

Adam chuckles but nonetheless plays along. “At first, it was her looks. I swear I’ve never seen anyone like her before.”

You roll your eyes. “Gag me with a spoon. What a cliché.”

“But it’s the truth.” Adam laughs. “Where I live, most girls wear expensive and trendy clothes and look like someone from a magazine. So her rockstar look stood out to me. I was…mesmerized and I might have stared a little too much.”

That was an understatement but you just chuckle and let him continue.

“Then her bold attitude: how she wasn’t afraid of anyone or anything. I admired that about her but also envied her because I could never do that.” Adam sighs sadly and looks off to the distance. “For a time, I tried to ignore my feelings and focus on hockey because that’s what I’m here for. To show my skills and hopefully get seen by a scout.

“But I was done for when she comforted me when I was sad I messed up in front of the scouts. Since then, I couldn’t ignore my feelings. The more I was around her, the stronger the feelings got. I would catch myself smiling just by seeing her smile or when she laughs and her face lights up.”

The words get caught in your throat and all you can do is listen. Your brain is fuzzy and your skin warms up with each word, making you sweat lightly, and if Adam were to touch you, you’re sure he would get burn.

“But,” Adam continues and glances at you, “I don’t think there’s a chance.”

Your heart drops slightly at his words and you avoid his gaze. “What makes you say that?” You mumble, almost scared to ask.

Adam goes quiet and just stares at you for a good minute. His expression is soft but there’s a tinge of sadness in his eyes and a faint frown on his lips.

“She’s dealing with something— she thinks no one sees but I do and because of that, I don’t think she’s looking for a relationship.” He responds truthfully, keeping his eyes on you, and then you feel his hand take yours. “But I want her to know I’m here for her, as a friend or more if she wants.”

His words are comforting— they should comfort you but they only break your heart. Adam’s willing to put his feelings aside for you but he shouldn’t. He deserves to be happy.

“Maybe it’s best you’re not.” You mumble. Adam’s eyes widen and you can see the sadness deepening in them. Just like it is in yours. “There’s better girls out there that’ll accept being your girl in an instant. You shouldn’t wait for someone who ain’t right for you, ‘specially one who’ll only bring you down.”

Adam’s a good kid and he has a good future ahead of him. He doesn’t need a failure of a girl to come and ruin it.

You sigh and lower your gaze, not bearing to see such sadness on Adam especially when you’re the cause of it. It’s better this than to see it ten times more and worse. You’re saving him from further pain and to an extent, saving yourself as well.

There’s nothing more to say and the fact you said more than you usually would leaves you feeling vulnerable. You can’t deal with it.

You walk away without another word. Adam watches like a kicked puppy being abandoned, your words repeating in his head, but then a hint of courage hits him, it’s small but it’s enough for him to catch up and grab your hand.

Your heart skips a beat and you look back at him wide eyed. His hand squeezes yours, a comforting reassurance that’s also laced with nervousness. “Blondie-”

“Don’t you think I have a saying in who I think is right for me?” Adam’s voice is as steady as can be but you can hear the slight tremble in his words.

You lower your gaze in shame and try to push Adam’s hand away but he doesn’t budge and it makes your heart break more. “This is different. She’s— I’m not… perfect.”

“I don’t expect you to be, JJ. I’m not perfect either.” He holds your hand firmer and leans closer. “Whatever you think makes you imperfect, I won’t hold it against you.”

Adam’s words hit something inside and for a second, he gives you hope, that perhaps it’s not as bad as you think. But it’s destroyed when you remember he doesn’t know all the details and if he did, he wouldn’t be saying such a thing.

“But I do.” You pull from his grasp and walk away and this time, Adam doesn’t stop you.

Your heart beats hard and fast in your chest that you feel like any moment you’re going to drop dead. It would be best because you don’t want the events that led you walking the streets alone replaying in your mind like a broken record.

You should have ignored Todd, maybe then you wouldn’t have had the talk with Adam. It was easy acting like his feelings for you were a figment of the girls’ imagination but now that he admitted it, you don’t know how you can go back to being normal.

You and Adam could never be. It doesn’t matter if he likes you or you have feelings you’re not ready to admit nor accept for him. Even if it pains you.

“Queen.” The nickname in Todd’s excruciating voice cuts your ears and makes them bleed which would have been better than hearing it again.

You should ignore him this time and just continue walking, save yourself from another horrible domino effect, but you think about the chances of running into him when you’re with the team— with Dean.

With no other choice, you turn to face Todd, an annoyed look on your face but it quickly turns curious when you see him. He no longer wears the playful look he had back in the arcade. Now, his expression is more serious, a menacing glint in his eyes and a faint scowl on his lips.

“You know, when I saw your face on t.v., I thought I was baked.” He says, walking towards you. “Representing Team U.S.A.? Smiling to the cameras? Doing interviews? That couldn’t be the same fucked up girl from Chicago.”

Your finger twitches and you curl your hand into a fist as you hold your head high and meet his glare with your own. “You’re right. I ain’t the same girl.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“And I don’t give a rat’s ass what ya think.”

Todd glares at you with hatred and anger. It’s almost amusing to see and if you weren’t as angry, you would have been grinning like a cheshire cat. He glances around and you keep your focus on him; he might not be dangerous but he’s unpredictable.

Todd’s gaze lingers behind him longer than in any direction before looking back at you. There’s a glint in his eyes and the corners of his lips faintly curl upward forming a sly smirk.

“What about your team? Or your boyfriend? I bet they would love to know what you did—“

You grab the fronts of Todd’s jacket, gripping the leather tight to the point it squeaks, and push him back into the nearest alley. He’s stumbling over his feet, almost falling on his butt twice but your grip keeps him upright until his back hits the brick wall hard.

“You stay the fuck away from them.” Your lips curl upward to the point your nostrils scrunch up like a wild predator, sizing him up despite him being inches taller. “Hear me? ‘Cause if you dare go near them-“

“You what? You’ll kill me?” Todd challenges. “I thought you weren’t the same girl.”

“I thought you didn’t believe that shit.” You retort.

He sucks his lips as the anger bubbles inside him. “You fucking—”

“Careful.” One hand leaves his jacket and comes up to cup his face. Your fingers dig into the hollows of his cheeks, feeling the outlines of his teeth. “You don’t want to get another scar.”

Todd’s eyes widen and you’re as scared as he is but for a different reason. It’s alarming how easy the threat fell from your lips and it shows a glimpse of something you don’t want to see.

“If only they knew who you really are.” Todd’s voice comes out muffled and some of the pronunciation is butchered but you understand enough. “You’re gonna end up destroying them just like you did with us and De-“

Your nails dig into his skin and he hisses in pain. Your jaw clenches and some of your teeth show through your sneer as you glare at him with narrowed eyes. “You keep my baby brother’s name out your fucking mouth.” You growl. “I ain’t gonna let you stain it.”

He breathes heavily through his nose and something flashes in his eyes as he scowls. “Like you did with Will’s?”

Your heart stops at the name and you freeze in your spot. Todd takes the chance and hits your chest with all his strength and it has you stumbling back. You trip over your feet just like he did moments before but you’re able to get your footing back and stand on your own.

Now there’s a good distance between you two and if you were to do anything, Todd would have enough time to defend himself.

Todd rubs his cheeks gently, grimacing when he accidentally presses too hard, and glares at you. “Remember him? Your boyfriend: the one you stabbed in the back.”

The light goes out from your eyes as memories of Will flash in your mind. A certain memory resurfaces and the scar on your stomach burns like you’re getting it again. A scream echoes in your mind, the same scream that you remembered back in the cafeteria of Team U.S.A. 's facility.

You look down and blink, a simple action that makes your head go blank, before looking at Todd through your eyelashes. “He got what he deserved.” Your voice is harsh with no signs of remorse.

It angers Todd. “He tried to help you just like we all did and you betrayed us!”

“I betrayed no one.”

“What about your precious baby brother?” He spats.

You scowl and step closer to him. “You shut your mouth.”

“You act like you love and care about him but throw him to the side like he’s shit.”

“Shut up!”

“You’re a failure. A fuck up. It’s no wonder no one likes you. Not even your own mother likes you!”

A sharp pang strikes your heart like a needle that’s been heated up to the point it’s burning red digs into your chest. Mom’s heated words fill your head; her hatred and disgust that Dad’s sweet words couldn’t drown out.

There’s a sting behind your nose and eyes from the tears but you push them back. You’re not going to cry. Not in front of Todd.

“Pretend all you want but you’re always gonna carry that shit. You haven’t changed and never will.” Todd stalks closer to you, his footsteps calculated and steady, until he stands right in front of you. “You are and will always be the same, Queen.”

He’s wrong. He’s wrong. He’s wrong. He’s… right.

Your nails dig into your palms, creating crescent shaped dents into the skin. It stings but it doesn’t compare to the hurt inside you.

“You don’t deserve to be here.”

You don’t miss the double meaning. The sad truth is that you thought the same thing and had tried to make it come true but you are here and that should mean something. You glance at the bracelets on your wrists, at the one with the Phoenix engraved into it.

It does mean something.

You meet Todd’s gaze and this time, there’s a faint smirk on your lips. “Like I said, Todds, I don’t care what you think. ‘Cause guess what? I am here whether you like it or not and your little threats, ain’t nothing compared to the things I’m gonna do to you if I see your shit face again.”

His expressions falters and disappointment touches his features. Your responds wasn’t the one he wanted and it makes you grin. You chuckle and pat his cheek, a bit too harsh, before walking away but you don’t get far.

“You forgot something, Queen!” A small, soft object hits your back and falls to your feet. You glance down and your hand twitches, almost reaching for it before you quickly pull back. “This one’s on me.”

You walk back and punch the smile right off Todd’s face. Strands of hair fall around his face as your fist forces his head to the side. Then you grab his face, tilting it so he sees yours, and the smile is still on his face.

Cruel and harsh words are on the tip of your tongue, desperately wanting to be said. But you swallow them back, Todd isn’t worth it for now.

You scoff and shove his head to the side and walk out of the alley. Todd watches you leave and pulls out a joint out of his pocket, lights it up and puts it between his lips. He enhales, holding the smoke inside his mouth for a few seconds before blowing it out.

“You heard… what are you gonna do about it?” Todd asks as he picks up the small bag he threw at you and puts it in his pocket. He glances towards the entrance of the alley where a player from Team U.S.A. stands watching you walk down the street before looking back at Todd. They don’t respond and walk in the opposite direction.

#the mighty ducks #mighty ducks #adam banks x reader #victim of circumstance story #adam banks

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thot-farm · 1 year ago

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Random birthright royal headcanons in honor of Ryoma's birthday that I totally didn't forget about 6 days ago, and happy Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month.

Positive Ryoma focused post from thot-farm? It truly is a spring miracle! /s

Tw- talks about parental loss and grieving

Ryoma- Hates his birthday because it reminds him of Sumeragi and Ikona. He struggles with trying to celebrate, he feels like he can only mourn, and the war only made it harder for him to get through. Getting up on the morning of his birthday is the roughest for him, Sumeragi and Ikona used to wake him up and give him lots of love, that's one of the things he misses the most.

- He is the type of guy who would stand outside and scare off his friend's crazy ex.

- He would mostly listen to rap, then have a random day where he listens to three days grace type bands/artists.

- He is the sentimental type that will keep anything someone has got for him, write the date on the bottom or tag and why he was given it. He never wants to experience feeling like he has nothing to remember someone by and to keep his memories fresh. He feels that way with Ikona being the only sibling that truly remembers her.

- whenever he eats something Ikona or Sumeragi used to love, or Ikona used to make, he can't help but retreat into his own head and think about his memories with them and try to remember every little detail of them so it never fades. He tries to avoid having those meals/baked goods when in front of his siblings so he can be present with them and not have them worry.

- He was never rude to Mikoto and he acknowledged that she was a good queen for Hoshido when his father married her, but for a long time, he resented Mikoto. After Ikona's death and Sumeragi remarrying, Ryoma wished Mikoto was Ikona. When he was younger he couldn't understand why his father would bring a strange woman and her even stranger child into the castle. Ryoma couldn't find a single quality in Mikoto that she shared with Ikona. All he wanted was his mother back, and for a long time, Mikoto was just another reminder that she was gone.

- anytime that Mikoto would do anything Ikona would do for his birthday, he would gently shut it down, even if it was his father's suggestion. He wanted Mikoto to stay far away from the memories he has of Ikona, even long after he stopped resenting Mikoto he would excuse himself if Mikoto triggered a memory of Ikona.

- the day word got to him that Sumeragi had died, he had to mourn both his parents all over again because he lost the only person who knew Ikona that deeply. Nothing helped him for a while, he would throw himself knee-deep into training till he would tire himself and then he would bathe and sleep and he repeated that without dealing with anything until he got old enough to realize he couldn't keep running away from his sadness or it would eat him alive.

- the day Mikoto died, he didn't feel the loss of a mother as much as he felt the loss of a queen. He did love Mikoto, but her loss never surmounted the feeling when he lost Ikona and Sumeragi, and the feelings of grief he felt for Mikoto were pushed aside so he could focus on his kingdom, but after a while into the war, he noticed he grew to accept her loss without as much emotional strain as losing Sumeragi and Ikona took on him.

- Mikoto had one perfume that was similar to Ikona, and any time he smelt it he would almost feel sick. He would train and stay in his room most of the day to avoid the scent until Mikoto eventually caught on and stopped wearing that perfume.

Hinoka- Azama showed her essential oils and she has been lowkey obsessed. She won't wear perfume but she will wear an orange and clove essential oil.

- the type to talk a lot of shit before going into a haunted house then be the one screaming and trying to run out.

- she spent a month thinking about what to get Ryoma for his birthday and couldn't decide on anything, she ultimately opted to just surprise hug him when he least expected it because she had absolutely nothing.

- she feels like she can never talk to Ryoma about Ikona because they have such different perspectives on their mother. If she does talk about her, she tries to only bring up the positive.

Takumi- has to remind himself not to eat like a wild animal.

- He will chase around his friend's crazy ex with a sword.

- He has a immature humor that he tries very hard to hide.

-Every year he'd get Ryoma a book to read for his birthday, usually something light and joyful.

- he can't remember much about Ikona, but he distinctly remembers her perfumes. Sometimes after he visits the shrine he will go find the box of her old things and smell her perfumes, but he never sprays them so he never runs out.

Sakura- Hinoka taught her hand-to-hand combat. Sakura has used her skill to take down Takumi and put him in a hold when he is being to reckless so they can regroup.

- She found an old recipe in the castle while looking through old boxes, she assumed it was from an old servant, she made it for Ryoma's birthday and left it for him in the morning. She peeked into his room later in the day and saw him looking down at the baked good with a gloomy expression, she snuck away thinking he didn't like them and she was really bummed. She didn't know that it used to be something Ikona would make for Sumeragi on his birthday for them all to share.

#fire emblem fates #fe14 #fire emblem birthright #Ryome fe #Hinoka fe #Takumi fe #Sakura fe #Sumeragi fe #Ikona fe #I'm not being Ryoma's biggest hater for once #I really do like his character outside of birthright

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sukirichi · 11 months ago

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holy shit long rant ahead

"Like-like you're looking for the man who courted you two years ago, the one you truly wanted to marry. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, because you're not going to find him. He never existed in the first place. Whatever it is you're looking for, you won't find it in me," *shit here we go again audio with head in my hands*

"Get out of your head. Just because I did all those things for you, doesn't mean they meant something. Are you forgetting I spent two years of my life trying to win you over, and I never once felt something for you other than tolerance?" When your face fell, triumph washed over his features. "That's right. You remember now, don't you? She's the one I want. Everything I do is for her. Don't forget your place."

Man idk how the princess heard this another time without breaking down in rage cause either this man is going down with me or nothing. Princess where is your self respect? PICK YOURSELF UPPPPPPP THIS MAN LEGIT RUNS ALL OVER YOU AND all we do is cry and yearn for more LIKE WE NEED TO BLOW IR*S AND HIM UP ATP BRING THE BIG GUNS OUT I NEED KUROO AND HIS ROOSTER LOOKING ASS TO POST THAT ARTICLE ASAP

“Your mother's sniffles was the last thing you heard before the sound of a fist connecting with skin resounded in the area. Pulling back, you gasped at what you saw.”

OH THE SATISFACTION I FELT HERE SWEET HEAVENS I wish someone recorded it and we could watch it all over again cause UM LESGO WWE 🗣️🤺 never have I ever loved a father this much cause he SLAYED LEFT NO CRUMBS AT ALLL #curedmyfatherissues

“Want me, you pleaded silently, at least want me. Just a little bit.” pookie 🤠😟😞 cmon we better than this

“Rintaro hadn't mean to. Sure, he was careless and never used protection, but he thought little of it. Iris® cycles were irregular and they never worried if she missed her period. She was always on the pill - all because of him, since Kiyoomi wouldn't have touched her anyway.”

he’s one sick bastard I hope he rots imagine cheating on your wife that you claim to love, doing it in your shared bed AND without protection like babe the article was so deserved by god

and the ending sentence,,,,,just made me so sick because as much as I hate rin and ir*s, I think I hate the queen and the king more because the issues started with them. with the king being an absolute whore and having kids with random ass women LIKE WHERE IS THE VASECTOMY GET HIS TUBES TIED and the queen being a bitch to rin his whole life just to find out my man got issues for nothing??? not defending him at all but to find out that all he knew as his “home” and family (even tho they sucked) were all never really his,,, I can see his heart breaking with the image he had of his family in his mind in the form of drawings made by his inner child, torn in half,,,,,,,oh I am about to be SICK

(and once he finally found his real home aka princess, bro fumbled it up BADDDD like if I was him I would beg for forgiveness + repent + burn the castle with the queen in it <33 (not the princes, tobio pookie you are coming home with me)

bro’s mental health must be in a delicate state, I hate him but I am also worried for him 🥲

- Freud anon is in shambles btw

THE HERE WE GO AGAIN AUDIO AAHJKA SO TRUE he just keeps on going back and forth like decide already!! 😭 do you want us or not!!

the self respect is… there, just buried under very deep layers of still hoping for something good. but also like we can’t really blame dtd!yn for acting this way because rintaro was FINALLY changing and being the husband we wanted him to be! the whole romantic dinner setup, working on the beach house together, and not once even mentioning iris????!!? BRO WAS DEDICATED. but then yeah he really just had to ruin it all again UGH. “all we do is cry and yearn for more.” actually real.

the daddy issues tag im crying 😭 sending all my love and hugs to you anon. BUT YES omg I loveeee our dad so much in DTD because he really said fuck around and find out! dude literally did not care that he was punching a royal because his daughter was more important than their titles! our parents in dtd are soo parents goals I love them <3

nauh bcos rintaro is careless and CRAZYYY. not only did they do it in OUR bed but he did it raw like! I would’ve thrown up ngl. AGHJSKA the vasectomy LMFAO. unfortunately it’s his duty to have many children and he fulfilled that part VERY well, just yknow… they really should’ve specified to him that he had to have kids with his wife and not other women. but yes I agree! all the problems really started because the king and queen hated each other (or more like, the queen hated him for how he treated her, and the king just didn’t care about her at all. he just knew she’d be a good queen and he needed someone smart and capable in leading the country so he can slack off. terrible, terrible man.) YES OMGGG THE DRAWINGS STOPPP I GET SO SAD EVERYTIME I THINK OF RINTARO’S LIFE WAS STOLEN FROM HIM AND ALL HIS ISSUES, EVERYTHING THAT HE FUCKED UP, HAD BEEN FOR NOTHING! and now he’s fumbling so bad too like bro is losing everything that should’ve never been his in the first place ugh.

YES! we protect and love tobio in this house!! and I agree </3 rintaro is going through a lot and it honestly goes two ways – it’s either he does worse things to cope, or he completely shuts down and forgets everything that happened. I’m not sure which one I prefer…

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series: dusk till dawn #long ask #freud anon

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enbysiriusblack · 2 years ago

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20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tag @imagineacoolusername <3

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

109,886

3. what fandoms do you write for?

marauders (+ dc but i haven't posted any)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

i just wanted a muffin

wrecking ball

a summer in wales

we are the dead

fistclenching, heartaching

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try to but if i can't think of anything to say then i just don't

6. what is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

that I've actually already written the ending for, would definitely be midnight rain. but the planned ending i have for the devil wears an angel's face is probably angstier

7. what is a fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

definitely i just wanted a muffin, its literally pure fluff throughout 😭

8. do you get hate on fics?

only once or twice, i just ignore/delete it though

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

nope

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

no, i don't really like crossovers. i do like aus, like characters in one fandom put into the situation of a different media (that's not really a crossover tho, is it?)

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah. once with a mutual who is now deactivated, about the marauders going on a camping trip to snowdonia. and then with @lesbianmckinnonn we have the sinners and the saints (marauders during war years)

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

dorlene <33

15. what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

i'm really aiming to finish all my wips, but i know i probably won't. im gonna say one I've never even posted, the cafe/bookshop au (i got bored of it and haven't written any of it in over a year sooo)

16. what are your writing strengths?

i actually have no clue. apparently i'm good at dialogue cause i can make it sound like vastly different people speaking? so that? and the storyline ideas themselves

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

probably the fact it takes me forever to write just a couple of words. i am super slow. also i always forget to describe things/people

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i'm absolute shit at learning languages, like the only language i can actually speak/understand even slightly is bsl. a lot of my characters do speak other languages though, so i like to sometimes have them speak in them i either ask mutuals that i know speak it, or have to put the sentence into like 20 different translation websites to make sure its right

19. first fandom you wrote for?

technically once upon a time when i was 9/10 (it was like half a notebook about regina becoming the evil queen again and lily joining her to get revenge against emma). but i never posted it, so the first posted one would be for harry potter

20. favourite fic you've written?

very hard to choose. i really like my cannibal!dorlene fic but i haven't actually published any of it. so choosing one i've actually written quite a bit for, I'm gonna say either fistclenching, heartaching or the devil wears an angel's face

tagging: @blitheringmcgonagall @lesbianmckinnonn @drownedlove @iheartmoons @ace-catboy-ryuuzaki

#tag game #my fics

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rebelwrites · 2 years ago

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Winner Takes It All || Twenty Six: I’m going to finish it for you

Charles Leclerc x Valentina Hendrix (OC)

Winner Takes It All Masterlist

Summary: Vali gets a harsh crash back to reality after Pierre calls, what was a perfect day is now tainted by the reality of her insecurities.

Warnings: please don’t hate me for this I have a plan

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

I couldn’t believe this, trust Pierre to have the worst timing ever. Resting my forehead against Charles’ I let out a sigh letting the call ring out but the moment the ringtone ended it started again almost instantly and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to ignore him.

Reluctantly I pulled away from Charles. I leant over to retrieve my phone from the corner of the picnic blanket. Seeing Pierre’s face on my screen made me want to scream. Rolling my eyes I answered the call pulling the phone to my ear.

“Something better be on fire!” I snapped, picking up a chocolate covered strawberry and taking a bite of it.

“Jheeze, someone is in a bad mood.” Pierre laughed, only fueling my annoyance towards him right now.

“I’m busy. Now what do you want?”

“I was just checking in on my best friend and this is the reaction I receive.” he hummed, I could picture the stupid smirk on his stupid face as he spoke. “I swung by to see you and Pascale said you weren't there. So Nugget, where are you?”

“I’m out.” I snapped, flicking my gaze to Charles flashing him an apologetic smile. Pierre had ruined the moment.

“On your own?”

“No with the fucking queen.” I scoffed, running my hand over my face. “Now if that was all you wanted then I am hanging up on you because you aren’t my Dad.”

A brief silence fell over the call and I swore I heard the pieces click in Pierre’s mind.

“Oh shit, you're with Char aren’t you?” He gasped dramatically.

“Bye asshole.” I laughed, pulling my phone away from my ear.

“Nugget, don't forget to use protection.” he shouted as my finger hovered over the red button.

Shaking my head I ended the call, tossing my phone down on the deck. Taking a breath I looked up at Charles through my lashes, rolling my eyes at his amused look I flashed him a weak smile. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, dropping my gaze. All of a sudden I felt extremely vulnerable, we were about to kiss, a kiss that would change everything. In the moment I felt ready to jump head first into that change but now Pierre interrupted I felt my walls starting to rebuild around my heart as the memories of Charles walking away from me flashed through my mind and no matter what I tried to think about nothing was working.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, babygirl.” Charles whispered, taking my hands in his. I didn’t miss the flash of sadness in his eyes as he realised that I had shut myself off. “Do you want to head home?”

I couldn’t bring myself to answer so I slowly nodded at him. I felt so bad but right now I needed to get my thoughts and feelings under control.

“Come on then, baby.” he whispered, pulling himself to his feet before helping me up to mine.

An awkward silence washed over us as we made our way to the Mustang. Everything was going so well today but then my insecurities got the better of me and ruined what was a perfect day. Once again I felt myself slipping deeper into the protective fort I had once built.

Once we had got back to his childhood home Charles helped me into the house. As soon as I was through the door I dumped the crutches against the sideboard in the hallway, I was sick of using them. Hobbling my way into the kitchen I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, I knew Charles would want to speak about what had happened, it was like a switch had gone off and I hated myself for it right now.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, causing me to look over my shoulder to find him leaning against the doorframe with a sad smile on his face, a smile that caused my heart to hurt.

“Not really.” I shrugged, popping the antibiotic tablet out of the packaging. It was the one medication that I was willing to take. I knew I should have taken them but I really didn’t want to rely on them.

“You should take your pain meds.” Charles whispered, nodding to the brown paper bag that was on the counter.

“Can you give it a rest on me taking the fucking pain meds. I will take them when I want to take them.” I snapped, I know I shouldn’t have, he was only looking after me but I felt backed into a corner right now so I did the only thing I knew how to do and that was to come out swinging. “You don’t hear me badgering you about you forfeiting the rest of the season for me.”

“The doctor said you needed to take them.”

“I don’t fucking need them.” I scoffed, trying to hide the pain I was feeling in my ribs and judging by the raised brow I was getting from Charles I wasn’t hiding the pain well. “Charles, please just pack your bag and go finish the rest of the season.” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Another awkward silence washed over us as Pascale walked into the kitchen, her eyes darting between me and her son. “What’s going on?” she asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“She won’t listen to me or the Dr and take her pain meds.” “He won’t listen and is adamant on forfeiting the rest of the season.” We both said at the same time.

Pascale sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose before looking at the pair of us. Before she could say anything I pushed myself off the counter. Flicking my gaze between Pascale and Charles. “I’m going to bed.” I needed to get out of the room before I said something I didn’t mean or burst into tears.

Charles’ POV

“Everything was going perfect today, Maman.” I sighed, feeling the tears beginning to build. “Then we were about to kiss when Pierre rang and it was like something switched in her.”

“Oh baby.” Mum whispered, moving over to me pulling me into a loving hug. “I know exactly what is happening here, there poor girl feels vulnerable and maybe she thought she was ready but once the reality hit she realised that things were moving too fast for her.”

Maybe she was right, in fact who was I kidding Maman was always right. Taking a deep breath I pulled away from her embrace, running my hands through my hair.

“What do I do Maman?” I whispered, looking up at her trying not to let the tears spill over my lash line.

“You go upstairs, pack everything you need for the next race, you go and kick some ass.” she smiled softly. “I know you want to be here with Valentina but I think right now the girl needs some space.”

“Promise you will look after her?” I whimpered, feeling vulnerable right now.

“You know I will, son.” she softly smiled.

Pushing myself to my feet I grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge before making my way upstairs. I knew I should have left Valentina alone but the sounds of her whimpers caused me to stop in my tracks. Taking a deep breath I pushed the door to the guest room open to find Vali curled up in the middle of the bed, the best she could with the cast, the sounds of her sobs echoed around the room.

“Oh babygirl.” I sighed, moving so I was sat on the edge of her bed. “I’m sorry, if I made you feel like things were moving too fast.” I whispered, resting my hand on her hip. “I’m sorry for constantly going on about the pain meds, I only did that because I hate seeing you in pain and let's face it you aren’t good at masking it.”

I was greeted with silence, but that didn’t surprise me. I knew what Vali was like when she shut down like this. Letting out a shaky breath I roughly wiped my eyes with my hand trying not to spill my beer all over the floor. “Take as much time as you need babygirl, I will be there waiting no matter how long it takes.” More silence greeted me. “I’m going to finish the season, I’m going to finish it for you.”

I took the silence as my queue to leave her alone, this morning my heart was full but now it weighed heavy in my chest. The next few weeks were going to be hard but I needed to give Vali the space she needed.

The moment I was in my room, I slumped to the floor leaning against the door, wrapping my arms around my legs. I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. Everything had changed within a blink of an eye and there was nothing I could do to change the situation.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket I quickly shot a text to the relevant people to let them know I needed a flight sorting and I would be racing at the weekend, yes I would be missing the media day but I would be there for the first free practice session. Once the text had been sent I pushed myself to my feet, placing my phone on the wireless charger before I threw myself into bed, not bothering to get undressed.

The hours had passed and no matter how hard I had tried I couldn’t fall asleep, I found myself staring at the ceiling as all of the memories of me and Vali played in my mind. The soft knock on the door pulled me out of my trance, running my hand over my face. I rolled out of bed to see who was knocking on my bedroom door at 3am.

As I opened the door I was surprised when I saw Vali standing there, her hair sticking up all over the place, her make up had now been smudged around her face but in my eyes she still looked beautiful.

“Come here.” I whispered, opening my arms out to her.

She didn’t say anything as she awkwardly moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist nuzzling her face into my hoodie.

“Je n'arrivais pas à dormir. I couldn't sleep.” she mumbled against my chest. “Puis-je rester avec toi ce soir ? Can I stay with you tonight?”

“Babygirl, you don’t even need to ask.” I whispered, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “I thought you needed space?” I asked, I couldn’t help myself.

“I do,” she sighed, pulling away from me slightly. “But I didn’t want to be alone right now, today was perfect and I went and fucking spoilt it because of my own fucking insecurities.” She said, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “I don’t want you leaving right after an argument because if you got into an accident on the track because of this, that would fucking kill me bear.”

I could hear the wobble in her voice as she spoke, and the sound of that was enough to shatter my heart. “Let’s get you to bed, babygirl.”

Guiding Vali to my bed I made sure she was comfy before I went back to close the bedroom door, my gaze fell over the bed and in this moment my heart was happy, it was like it had momentarily push aside the events of today because the fact that Valentina was here in my bed.

It gave me the hope that everything was going to work itself out, I just needed to be patient.

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