#quit being allergic to harmless joy

[lunerabo]

I’m not scared of suddenly getting popular and people telling others “lmao eww yk she started off doing selfship stuff right” because remember kids nobody can shame you if you have zero sense of shame in the first place

[somebody-909]

Stalkyoo After the Formal (pt.1) - Role Reversal and Yeong-Gi's Denial of His Feelings

The black and white formal acts as a turning point in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship, establishing their friendship and giving them moments of romantic tension.

It all leads to the emotional finale on the hospital balcony, where Yeong-gi first feels genuine romantic feelings for Shin-Ae.

This analysis looks at key moments that show how Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s relationship changes after the formal arc — displaying emerging romantic feelings, and why their roles seemed to have reversed: it is now Yeong-gi who is hesitant to get any closer to Shin-ae, and she is the one eager to connect with him.

Ep. 75 | Elevator - Why the awkwardness and melancholy?

When Yeong-gi first sees Shin-ae after the balcony he seems quite... polite and distanced. He doesn’t act like the Yeong-gi of the past at all. He doesn't joke around with her like he used to... He doesn't smile or act friendly and he awkwardly turns away after looking at her.

He only smiles in the first panel, and his expression is… complicated. Note his soft smile, slightly closed eyes and slightly furrowed brows.

It's a soft, fond but slightly melancholic look.

This mixed expression is caused by genuine fondness for the person it’s for, with the additional tension and slight melancholy/sadness caused by the fact that this fondness is unspoken. This Look™, is the first expression he gives her after the balcony.

(But if I’m speaking more subjectively, this is the look people give those they love, but where it is unspoken. The melancholy associated with the expression makes it less likely to be purely platonic in nature — platonic friendships don’t often have this sense of something hidden and unspoken, and more often have relatively straightforward reciprocal affection. The romantic nature is also emphasized since The Look™ is being given to someone Yeong-gi has known for only a few weeks/months.)

At the least, this unspoken fondness may explain why Yeong-gi seems so awkward afterward:

He senses a difference in their feelings towards each other (he feels this because he is somewhat aware of the true nature of his, but Shin-ae is not/would not be at this stage)

He does not appreciate the nature of these feelings and does not want to entertain them (for reasons mentioned in my balcony analysis)

Shin-Ae also notices his odd demeanour and tells him she thought he'd be more excited - Yeong-gi's behaviour is purposefully shown to be different now. It's hard to imagine this is the same guy who'd joke around, easily and outwardly showing his joy to be around Shin-ae.

In Ep. 78, Yeong-gi is called by Shin-ae after she’s forced late when Dieter passes out. He has The Look™ while speaking to her. (Notably, Yeong-gi only has this look when they are not directly looking at each other). When Yeong-gi picks her up, he seems awkward once again… especially due to seeming like a third wheel in Shin-ae and Dieter's budding relationship.

He has The Look™ in images 1, 2, and 4. And in image 3, he seems very awkward being with Shin-Ae and Dieter. (I'd argue his expression also shows displeasure — he slightly, and under-the-surface, doesn't like what's happening).

Ep. 85 | A Bear and Allergies - Compassion, but only at a distance

After Shin-ae’s sister invades her home and Shin-ae calls over the bois, she is obviously quite unnerved and uneasy. Yeong-gi immediately recognizes this and in aims of comforting her, tells Dieter to give her a hug (which he is unable to do without freaking out so he gives Shin-ae a hug using a bear as proxy).

Yeong-gi understands how Shin-ae feels and wants to comfort her, but instead of doing this himself (eg. by talking to her, giving her a pat on the shoulder, etc...), he tells Dieter to. Although he's being a good wingman, there’s an interesting sense of Yeong-gi making sure to keep his distance, even if he wants to be there for her.

When Shin-ae notices Yeong-gi’s allergic reaction (which they think may be a fever), she reaches to touch his forehead to gauge his temperature — he quickly declines and moves her hand aside.

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss the motif of distance and how it’s seen in Shin-ae and Yeong-gi’s dynamic — and how it’s represented through touch and their hands. Characters who want to connect emotionally will also show physical signs they do (like extending your hand to someone). Emotional connection often requires characters to physically be present together as well. Characters who want to avoid connection avoid touch and keep their distance.

Here, Shin-ae shows a desire to “reach” Yeong-gi by helping him, and this is reflected when she extends her hand and reaches to touch his forehead. A refusal of her touch in this case is also a refusal of her help and her attempt to connect to him. Shin-ae shows some slight discomfort at this – it was a harmless attempt to help him, but he doesn’t want her to.

Yeong-gi follows with an explicit verbal refusal:

“Again, you don’t have to worry about me… You just had your home broken into, you need to put yourself before me, alright?”

This is fitting with Yeong-gi’s overarching character arc — he has an extremely low sense of self-worth that prevents him from accepting others’ concern. Him telling Shin-ae to put herself before him also fits his thinking: that those he cares about are more important than him, Shin-ae included. And it doesn’t matter if what she actually wants is to help him.*

*This is an interesting trait of Yeong-gi's... despite caring deeply for Shin-Ae, he undermines her intelligence and wishes by not accepting her affection for him, and carefully controlling how close she gets. Although born from insecurity, it is also, fascinatingly, covertly manipulative.

Ep. 85-6 | Bills - I care about you

Yeong-gi asks Shin-ae if she is able to get to where she is staying for the night and she gives him more information than he asks for, showing new emotional vulnerability. He notices this and gives her The Look™ — he appreciates that she is now more open to him.

When Yeong-gi sees her overdue bills, he makes sure to let her know that her financial struggles do not determine her worth and anyone who tells her otherwise isn’t worth her time.

“Remember you’ve always got someone to lean on with your friends, okay?”

His spiel is incredibly heartwarming, and we can understand that he states these things from his own heart. However, he keeps it impersonal, stating "your friends" (not “me” or “us”) and instead allowing Shin-Ae to define whether he fits under that category as well. Yeong-gi is no longer trying to assert his friendship anymore.

After opening up more in response and letting the boys take her to the hospital to stay with her father, she removes the "Stalker" in Yeong-gi's contact name in her phone, showing development in their relationship since they first met and a large difference in how she sees him now — they're friends, and she thinks so too.

Ep. 89 | Insolence, but only for Shin-ae (and only in secret) & a Kousuke/Yeong-gi parallel

After learning of Shin-Ae's etiquette classes, Yeong-gi enters Kousuke’s office, specifically to start trouble with him. Yeong-gi is shown to try his best lately to obey his family members (namely his father), but once again we see how he is fine with starting trouble, even if it costs him, if it's for those he cares about — despite Kousuke reminding Yeong-gi of the repercussions of getting in trouble with their father, Yeong-gi doesn’t back down.

Kousuke: “You know you’re only going to anger father if he catches you being indolent.”

Yeong-gi: “I don’t give a crap if he finds out.”

Yeong-gi then aggressively asks him about the classes Kousuke put her in:

Kousuke: “It’s for her own good.”

Yeong-gi: “What do you mean, her own good?”

Kousuke: “... She’s the worst employee I’ve ever seen, so I signed her up for classes to fix her issues.”

Yeong-gi: “Have you ever voiced your concerns… tell her what she can improve upon? … She may have her flaws, but she’s a lot more capable than you think!”

Kousuke: “I’m preparing her for what’s to come her way in the future.”

Yeong-gi: “You don’t even know if she wants this career for her future! Everytime I see her, she’s miserable. Like she wants to leave. She’s uncomfortable!”

In my black and white formal analysis, I discuss how there are multiple instances— where Yeong-gi and Kousuke, as well as how they affect Shin-Ae, are purposefully contrasted — and this is paralleled here.

Consistently in these instances, (although Kousuke’s intentions are often good) Yeong-gi is shown to be the one who best understands Shin-Ae. At the very least, Yeong-gi is shown here to care for Shin-Ae enough to confront his brother and potentially face the wrath of his father, despite trying especially hard to be in their good graces recently.

However, it is important to note — Yeong-gi goes out of his way to ensure his intentions of helping Shin-ae are indirect and she does not know. Instead, he tries to help her in roundabout ways, secretly.

Yeong-gi does not want his good intentions to reach her.

Conclusions

Yeong-gi displays a notable difference in how he acts, especially around Shin-ae. His new emerging feelings conflict his insecurities, resulting in a standoffish Yeong-gi who is secretive in his affection, and calculatingly tries to distance himself from Shin-ae. But... this isn't what he truly wants, and is instead, another form of self-sabotage.

However, as time goes on, Yeong-gi cannot keep this facade up indefinitely... and he's occasionally caught off guard, giving us glimpses into what he truly feels.

[candideangel]

Outside Witnesses

Chrono, a worker in timepieces and spellwork, and Artemis watch as their superiors start from embarrassing moments to all out prank wars.

featuring moments from @meepsthemiqo​‘s @emetspersephone​‘s & @themadchemist​‘s pieces which gave me a constant joy. Sorry if they were brief mentions or if something seemed off!

The small office was quiet, one of the window panels open and wafting in a breeze that brushed strands of red hair into a young man’s face as his green eyes with a hue of blue mixed in was silently sitting at a work desk, his tools lightly clicking and clinking against metals of the project in front of him. It was supposedly a simple project, something he was making for himself, but Chrono knew that it was for someone else completely. As his hand picked up a small set of clamps he used them to pick up a delicate piece of inner clockwork to set into its new discus shaped home.

Then came the knock on his door, making the master of time as he often been teased with looked up, reaching over to lightly push away a magnifying circular glass aside. “Enter.” his voice called calmly, and at first while he kept a straight face, absently reaching over for the white mask that was across on his desk, not sure if it was a mere guest looking for his opinion or someone he trusted. However, it was relief that washed over his features as a young woman opened the door with a soft creek of hinges, his heart doing a little jump, usually hooded features were free, a very pale gold head that could have been mistaken for white or even silver, of hair wound up in in intricate bun with a few added braids with a few feathers dangling off the ties, and piercing bright blue eyes glittered like gemstones when her gaze met Chrono’s.

“Artemis, what...what brings you in here?” the young man asked, cursing himself for the slight issue with his string of words he couldn’t quite seem to form.

“Oh, I figured you would like something to drink.” Artemis replied as Chrono’s eyes finally noticed the tray she had laden in her cloaked arm. It was a simple silver tray, but with a curious white pot that seemed to shine, painted with long branches with pink flowers with a matching set of cups nested on their saucers. A steam rose from the spout of the pot in an unrecognizable aroma, but it put his tense muscles relax a little even as the door shut. Walking over with a soft click of heels she would set the tray down on the side of his desk.

“It’s a rather cute pot if I must say.” Chrono muttered, being mindful and rolling up the set of tools to make sure he didn’t knock anything over while Artemis held the pot and would carefully pour a steaming stream of a clear yet bright red liquid would start filling the delicate white workings.

“Ah, thank you. It was...a design I’ve been fiddling around with. I hope it’ll keep the tea hot for a while longer.” She replied, pale cheeks dusting with a shade of pink that matched the flowers painted on the pot.

“Well, you certainly have always had an eye for aesthetics and color.” Chrono couldn’t help but tease, being someone who worked in the offices, they didn’t work in the seats, but they often helped with designs and prototypes. When Artemis offered him the cup of tea he would take hold and took a small sip, letting the flavor put him at ease; floral, slightly sweet, a hint of fruit dancing on his tongue until the after taste was slightly tart. “Mm, delicious…” he breathed relaxing in the chair with a soft creak of the wood under him.

“Heh, rosehip tea does wonders.” Artemis chuckled and poured herself a cup that was still on the tray before the pot was set down, she would go to a small metal can and went to the various flora that had been potted around Chrono’s office. It never used to be filled with greenery, just shelves and a mess of books and ruined prototypes...at least not until Artemis arrived into his life. One who could have looked so naive as an assistant, turned out to become a great friend and confidant...he often found himself happier, able to focus a little better without the clutter, but most importantly always felt his heart leap into his throat at her presence every time. 

Chrono glanced over his shoulder a little and in the faint light of the sun that was streaming through it practically haloed the woman in his office while she watered the flowering plant in his window, the aroma coming in on the breeze. Even as he set the cup down into the saucer with a soft clink so he could go back to work, it all felt peaceful.

At least it HAD been peaceful, the foyer doors banged open as if by a nasty wind, reverberating into Chrono’s office, making the delicate work he had been working on break, and the tea in the cups ripple. “Earthquake?” Artemis muttered as she set the water can down into a stand made of thick wired material to walk to the door, Chrono in the meantime staring down at some of the parts that had broken free from his project...making it clear he would have to start over again with the inner workings. Just as Artemis reached the door however, they both froze, a set of heels clacking against the floor with utmost determination even though one of the other workers were obviously trying to get whoever it was to stop because of a meeting.

Slowly Artemis opened the door to peer outside curiously in time to see a sweeping motion of dark hair, a few pink flowers poking out, and eyes set most determined, and as she looked out more watched as she marched with purpose towards the meeting chamber for the Fourteen.

“It...seems that Lady Fae is on the warpath.” She spoke softly once the door clicked shut quietly. 

“Oh...dear…” Chrono muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and suddenly he startled when there was another equally loud bang that echoed again further down the hall.

“HAAAADEEEES!!!!” Fae’s voice echoed before there was a third and final bang as the doors slammed shut and silence fell hard and heavy between Chrono and Artemis. They stared at each other for a long moment, but it only took one of them to softly start chuckling, then they fell into soft gales of laughter, faintly hearing the voices carry their way. Little did they know it was only just the beginning.

---

Then the “prank war” began. Artemis had been carrying a stack of papers with Chrono’s help, though were brought to pause when they watched the pink haired Persephone walked by carrying a rather curious green colored creature in her arms and humming a delightful tune to Lady Fae’s office. When they had dropped off the work to where they needed to be, finishing off from Hades’ office Fae had just been...oddly coming from Lahabrea’s office, speaking to Elidibus.

“What do you think that was about?” Artemis asked curiously while glancing back over her shoulder at the pair. It was a little strange that Fae was acting rather dodgy around her bonded’s questions.

“Not sure.” Chrono muttered as his fingers were dancing a gemstone between them, a spark of golden dust pouring from it. “Lady Fae hasn’t always been in Lahabrea’s good graces, but perhaps she was just simply seeking him out.” Though the first part had always contained proof as the Speaker’s voice shouted from down the hall and almost as fast as she had come, Fae had disappeared into the shadows without warning. Leaving the two rather confused.

Artemis though as they went back to Chrono’s office, couldn’t help a wry smile. “I bet for a day off that Lady Fae has some kind of ulterior motive. It did seem rather odd that Miss Persephone had come in carrying a small creature and suddenly Lady Fae is coming out of Lahabrea’s office.” It was obviously broken logic, at best to be a jest as they leaned against the door just under the frame.

“Oh, what would you do if you won the bet?” Chrono was grinning a little bit and would lean against the door a bit, Artemis gave him a smile that made his heart practically rattle like a bird trying to break free from its cage.

“For a day off? I think...if I’d gotten the day off, it would be walking through that tree park. Maybe with some company…” her voice trailed off and her breath caught a little in her throat as Chrono, practically hypnotized by her words, her voice, his feelings were overrunning. But he stopped and they both jumped when there was a very loud, and very agonized scream come from down the corridor and they both looked over, but Chrono did the smart thing and pushed them both into his office just as Lahabrea was storming by, covered in NEEDLES and his robes looking rather holed, spitting venom as he looked for Lady Fae.

“P-Probably best we stay here for a bit.” Chrono muttered once he shut the door, Lahabrea had shot them a look that could whither all the blooms in his office. “At least until the storm dies down.” But his lips trembled a little bit and he couldn’t help a slightly nervous chuckle that escaped his lips as he slumped to the ground, knees weak as even Artemis was on her knees by his desk. “Looks like you won…” he breathed and gave the light haired woman a lopsided grin, “When do you want to go?”

---

The next few days that came were at relative peace, Elidibus and Fae were gone for a little while, but when the two had come back, it had been both Fae and Persephone who had become the targets for the next bout of revenge pranks. Artemis and Chrono had made playful banter that perhaps it would be one of them, this time placing a few coin bets for who would be next in line for either a tongue lashing or a prank in return. Chrono had been the one to place on Fae and Persephone perhaps both, at the time, just due to the logic after the curious Cactus creature had been talked about through the hall and had the earmarks of Miss Persephone’s design work.

While it had been a harmless one, the two women breaking out in rashes, sneezing like they had colds, and watery eyes. It was obvious they were having some kind of allergic reaction to something, but in their wake had been a very, very strong scent of roses. It was very possible that the harmless prank had come from Miss Anais, the alchemist and even a medic of the city. It...did make some logical form of sense.

Artemis sighed as she would hand over a bag of coin to Chrono, who pocketed into the sleeve of his robes and gave her another wry smile, his hand reaching over to gently tug her by the waist to pull her close.

“So, who do you think will be next?” he asked curiously, they had started to find this as some type of entertainment and a way for them to bond. And in a way bonding they did! Even if everything was trying to be subtle gestures.

Artemis still looked as if she were pouting from the loss of her money, but let Chrono lightly pull her to his side. “...I think Miss Anais will be up next possibly. I know Miss Persephone and Lady Fae won’t take this little though harmless prank lying down. Or maybe there will be some bonded prank wars with Hades and Persephone.” she chuckled in a hushed voice as they walked down the streets as Chrono who was often a reserved person before was offering to purchase Artemis dinner, waiting for their next little revenge show.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Six Baudelaires AU, Part One {AO3} {Read from the Beginning}

Chapter Seventeen → in which Aunt Josephine is no longer Fierce

“What do you remember about Aunt Jo, Lilac?” Nick asked.

“First of all, Nicholas,” Poe said, “You should call her by her full name unless she tells you to do otherwise.”

“You mean like how I tell you my name is Nick and not Nicholas?”

“Yes, exactly.”

Nick sighed, and stared at the Fickle Ferry they’d just stepped off of. He shared an annoyed look with Solitude, who was being carried by Violet, who was staring at the water, narrowing her eyes as if she wanted to tie her hair back and think of something. Klaus held Sunny with one hand and gripped onto Lilac’s arm with the other, as she carried two suitcases. Nick had two more, and Violet had another.

Lilac said, “Well, Nick, all I remember is her name. I think she might’ve babysat once? I just remember calling her Fierce Auntie Josephine.”

“She’s not really your Aunt.” Poe said. “She’s really your second cousin’s sister-in-law. Oh, children! Before I forget, I got you a little something!” He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small paper bag, awkwardly handing it to Sunny, the only one with free hands. “Peppermints!”

The siblings gave each other very tired looks, and Lilac said, “Thank you, Mr Poe.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Klaus said.

“You can eat them on your cab ride to Ms Anwhistle’s house.” Poe said. “Lilac, here’s some money for the cab- oh, your hands are full, someone take this? Thank you, Violet. She said over the phone that she couldn’t meet you at the dock, and I didn’t find it polite to ask why. I suspect it’s related to her husband’s death, and I should hope none of you are rude enough to ask how she became a dowager. Let me signal for a taxi.”

“What’s that?” Violet asked.

“Violet,” Poe said, “A girl your age should know that a taxi is a car which will drive you someplace for a fee.”

Klaus sighed, then turned to Violet. “‘Dowager’ is a fancy word for ‘widow.’”

“Thank you.” Violet said.

A taxi stopped for them, and as Poe started loading in their luggage, he said, “Now, I’d love to go with you, but the banking day has already begun, and if I don’t return soon I won’t get anything done. Your Aunt Josephine is a bit nervous about having six children around the house, but I assured her that you are all very well-behaved.” Nick laughed. “So please mind your manners, and you can call me at the bank if there’s any sort of problem. I should hope nothing goes wrong this time.”

As he gave money to the taxi driver, and the children piled into the backseat, Nick said, “So when do you think something’ll go wrong?”

“Hopefully we’ll have a bit of time.” Lilac sighed. “Solitude, stop wiggling so much. Sunny, stop biting on the seatbelt.”

“Lilac, stop being a buzzkill.” Violet said.

They said goodbye to Mr Poe, and the taxi drove off. Lilac and Nick, pressed against the windows, looked out at all the stores- a clothing store that seemed to be undergoing renovations, a terrible-looking restaurant called the Anxious Clown, with neon lights and balloons, and several closed-up shops.

“Should we have told him we’re allergic to peppermints?” Nick asked.

“I don’t think it’d matter.” Lilac sighed, taking the bag from Sunny and shoving it into her coat pocket.

“Although, technically,” Violet said, “We don’t know if Soli and Sunny are. They’ve never tried peppermint.”

“Technically, neither have I.” Nick said.

“Wait, yeah you have.” Klaus said. “At the birthday party, when I- wait, no, you didn’t eat the candy!”

“No, I just cried because I assumed you were gonna die.” Nick said. “Haven’t touched any peppermints since.”

“We could test it.” Violet said. “Call it an experiment.”

“Oh, God, no.” Lilac said. “No experiments. No!”

“This town doesn’t seem very crowded.” Klaus said, hoping to change the conversation.

“I was hoping we could make some friends here.” Nick said carefully.

“It’s the off-season.” the taxi driver explained, glancing back at them. “The town of Lake Lachrymose is a resort, and when the nice weather comes it’s as crowded as can be. But around now, things here are as dead as the cat I ran over this morning.”

“Oh my God.” Lilac muttered, and Solitude’s eyes widened.

“Speaking of which,” the driver said, “Hurricane Herman is expected to arrive in town in a week or so. Better make sure you have enough food up there in the house.”

“A hurricane on a lake?” Nick raised an eyebrow.

“I thought hurricanes only occurred near the ocean.” Klaus said.

“A body of water as large as Lake Lachrymose can have anything occur in it.” the driver said. “I’d be nervous to live on top of this hill, it’ll be difficult to drive down into town once the storm hits.”

Lilac peered out the window, seeing that they were indeed driving up very far, the town starting to look small beneath them.

“That lake is huge.” Nick said quietly.

“Gib.” Solitude nodded. “That’s the biggest body of water I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Who are you meeting all the way up here, again?”

“Our Aunt Josephine.” Lilac said. “She’s very fierce.”

“I should hope so, living at this height, so close to the lake.” the driver said. He parked the car, and the children slowly exited. Lilac went to the trunk for their luggage, and the other children looked ahead at the small house before them; it didn’t look very big, and desperately needed repainted. But as they approached, and Lilac said goodbye to the taxi driver and threw suitcases into her siblings’ hands, they saw that the rest of the house was hanging over a cliff, attached to the hill by spindly metal stilts.

“This is going to fall when a gust of wind comes by.” Nick said.

“Well,” Lilac said, “If Aunt Jo does live here, it must be safe.”

“Not if she’s a daredevil.” Violet said. “Maybe she only just built it. Hey, Li, maybe I should live in a house like this- except more off the cliff, can never be in too much danger!”

“Shut up.” Lilac rolled her eyes, walking up to the front door and ringing the doorbell. Solitude squirmed uncomfortably in Nick’s arms, muttering something about how he was holding her too tight, and Sunny leaned up against Klaus, wondering if she could just fall asleep for a while.

The door creaked open, and a nervous-looking woman peered out at them.

“Hello,” Lilac said, “Are you our Aunt Josephine?”

“Yes.” the woman said. “You must be the Baudelaires. Lilac, I haven’t seen you since you were a toddler, you’ve certainly grown.”

“Hello!” Violet said, stepping carefully forwards, “I’m Violet-”

“Careful, dear!” Josephine said. “Don’t touch the doorknob, it could shatter into a million pieces and pierce your eye.”

The children stared at her. “What?” Nick said.

“It could explode.” Josephine said. “Oh, dear. You don’t have hearing problems, do you?”

“No, he’s just an idiot.” Lilac said. “May we come in?” ‘

“Of course, of course, just make sure you push on the wood of the door.”

The siblings shared another look, and then they crept inside, glancing around the house. It didn’t look as bad as they’d feared; upon seeing half the house dangling off a cliff, they’d been afraid that everything would be scattered or tilted, but all of the furniture seemed to be in place.

“I’m afraid it’s a bit cold in here,” Josephine said.

“Is the radiator broken?” Lilac asked. “I’m very good at repairing things.”

“Oh, no, I’m just afraid to turn it on, as it may explode.”

Soli bit her lip. “Timor,” she whispered to Nick, meaning, “Someone’s been to crazy-town.”

“Oh! And that is the telephone, over there.” Josephine said. “It should only be used in emergencies, in case it electrocutes you.”

“I’ve read quite a bit about electricity,” Klaus said, “And I’m pretty sure that the telephone is perfectly safe.”

“Well,” Josephine didn’t meet his eye, “You can’t believe everything you read.”

“I’ve built a telephone before.” Violet said. “If you like, I could take the phone apart and show you how it works.”

“I don’t think so.” Josephine said. “You could pierce your skin with something sharp.”

“Delmo!” Sunny offered, which meant, “If you wish, I will bite the telephone to show you that it’s harmless!”

“Sunny!” Klaus said.

“Delmo?” Josephine asked. “What do you mean by ‘delmo’? I consider myself an expert on the English language, and I have no idea what the word ‘delmo’ means. Is she speaking some other language?”

“Sunny doesn’t speak fluently yet.” Klaus said. “She does know some English words.”

“And Italian.” Nick said. “Mom taught her some of that.”

“And Father taught us some Latin.” Klaus added. “But Sunny and Soli mostly just use baby talk.”

“Grun!” Solitude said, crossing her arms. “It’s not ‘baby’ talk!”

“Well, I will have to teach her proper English.” Josephine said stiffly. “I’m sure you all need some brushing up on your grammar, actually. Grammar is the greatest joy in life, don’t you find?”

Violet took a deep breath, and Lilac punched her on the shoulder before she could even think of saying anything. Klaus and Nick shared a look, while Solitude bit back a thought about how Uncle Monty’s collection seemed to be the greatest joy in life.

“We’ve always loved grammar.” Lilac finally said.

“Aunt Jo,” Nick asked, “What’s in that room over there?”

“Oh, that’s the library.” Josephine said. “I’ll be able to teach you grammar in there.”

“You have a library?” Klaus’s eyes lit up.

“Well, yes, but I mostly just use my grammar books. There’s nothing else of interest to me in there.”

“Perhaps we might take an interest in some of it.” Klaus said.

Josephine looked a bit startled, but she did nod and say, “You can put your stuff in your room. Follow me.” She started to walk, saying, “I’m sorry there’s only one, but my house isn’t very big.”

“We’ll be fine.” Violet said, though she had been secretly hoping she wouldn’t have to share a room with anyone.

“We can make ourselves comfortable.” Lilac said.

Aunt Josephine pushed open a door to a room that had two beds shoved into the corners and two hammocks hanging from the ceiling, as well as two good-sized cribs inbetween the beds.

“There’s a trunk at the edge of one of the beds.” Josephine said. “There’s a present for each of you, let me fetch them.”

She walked over to the trunk, opening it as the siblings put their suitcases down onto the other bed, and Nick and Klaus put Solitude and Sunny on the floor. Solitude walked over to one of the cribs, looking it over, and Sunny crawled towards Aunt Josephine, who pulled out two dolls.

“For Lilac and Violet,” she said, “There are some dolls, who come with lots of outfits. You’ll be able to share, won’t you?”

“Of course.” Violet said, forcing on a smile. She and Lilac were both too old for dolls, and Violet herself had never cared for them, being more interested in taking them apart and putting them back together than playing dress-up. “They look kind of like Marie Curie and Hedy Lamarr.”

“Thank you, Aunt Josephine,” Lilac said, trying to remember the last time she’d played dolls.

“For Nick,” Josephine said, “I have a model train set. You can set up the tracks in that corner of the room.”

“What fun.” Nick said stiffly. He never liked putting work into the putting together a train set, especially since he’d have to sit down and follow instructions to build it, and it could only go in an endless circle once he was done.

“For Klaus, I have a deck of cards. I don’t know much about young boys, but I’ve heard they like cards.”

“I once read a book on the history of legalized gambling.” Klaus said, trying to remember any rules of poker.

“And for little Solitude and Sunny,” Josephine said, “I have purchased two rattles. They sound the same, so you don’t have to worry about who gets which.”

She shook one, and Sunny forced a smile, but she glanced at Lilac with concern; she despised rattles, and she absolutely could not stand the noise they made. Solitude, who had bent down to look under her crib, sat back up and said, “Cooke,” which meant, “It kind of sounds like a Rattlesnake.”

“That’s very generous of you.” Lilac said.

“Well, I’m very happy you’re here.” Josephine said. “I can’t wait to share my love of grammar with you! We’ll have dinner in a few minutes, after you’ve settled in.”

“Aunt Josephine,” Klaus asked, “What are those cans for?”

“They are for burglars.” Josephine said. “Every night, I place these cans by the door, so when burglars come in, they’ll trip over the cans and wake us up.”

“But then what will we do?” Violet asked. “I’d prefer to sleep through a burglary than deal with an angry burglar.”

“Angry burglars?” Josephine’s eyes grew wide. “Are you trying to frighten me?”

“Of course not!” Lilac said, giving Violet another punch. “We didn’t mean to scare you at all.”

“Well, we’ll say no more about it.” Josephine said. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

She shut the door, and the Baudelaires listened to her footsteps for a moment, before Nick said, “Nice going, jackass.”

“It’s not my fault she’s scared of everything!” Violet protested.

“So that’s Fierce Aunt Josephine?” Klaus glared at Lilac.

“Maybe toddler-me was a sarcastic little shit.” Lilac shrugged. “It’s not like I’ve seen her since then.”

“Dorel,” Solitude said, pointing at the crib. “I’m too old for that, I moved out of cribs back when Sunny was born.”

“I know,” Lilac said. “But we’ll have to make the best of it. Maybe we can take the bars off so you can get in-and-out by yourself.”

“Sunny,” Klaus said, “You can have my deck of cards, if you want. You said you liked playing with them, didn’t you?”

Sunny nodded, and Nick added, “Lilac, you and Violet can have the trainset. Maybe you can engineer something with it.”

“I’ll take the rattles.” Violet said. “Maybe I can invent a better burglar alarm.”

“That would leave you boys with the dolls.” Lilac said.

“Plenty of boys enjoy playing with dolls.” Klaus shrugged. “Though I’d rather have a book. Maybe we can look through Aunt Josephine’s library later.”

“Do you think we’ll find the Eye somewhere?” Nick asked.

“Hopefully.” Lilac said. “We can find out about it.”

At the same time, Violet said, “Hopefully not, it’s creepy.”

They glanced at each other, and Lilac said, “Well, whether or not we like the gifts, Aunt Josephine went out of her way to get them for us. We shouldn’t complain.”

“You’re right,” Violet said, “We shouldn’t complain.”

“We shouldn’t complain.” Klaus said.

“Twee!” Sunny and Soli said.

After a second, though, Klaus said, “I want to complain anyway.”

They stared for a moment, and then Nick said, “Well, I’m gonna go disassociate in front of the fridge.”

“Don’t you dare.” Lilac said, grabbing his hand and dragging him back. “We’re all going to behave ourselves.”

“Since when have we ever behaved ourselves?”

“Nick!”

“Chilled cucumber soup,” Klaus said quietly, “Is certainly an… interesting choice.”

“Yes, it is very cold,” Josephine shrugged, looking around at the six kids crowded around the table, “I’m afraid to turn on the stove, in case it bursts into flames.”

Sunny gave her a look of utter bewilderment.

“My dear husband and I never had children,” Josephine said, “But I do want you to know I’m very happy that you’re here. I’m often very lonely without my husband, and when Mr Poe told me about your troubles, I didn’t want you to be as lonely as I was when I lost my dear Ike.”

“Ike was your husband?” Lilac asked.

Nick bit back a sarcastic No, really? as Josephine said, “Yes, he was my husband, my best friend, my partner in grammar, and the only person I knew who could whistle with crackers in his mouth.”

“Mother could do that.” Klaus remembered. “She could do Mozart’s fourteenth symphony.”

“Ike’s specialty was Beethoven’s fourth quartet.” Josephine said proudly.

“I’m sorry we never got to meet him.” Violet said. “He sounds wonderful.”

“He was wonderful.” Josephine said. “I was so sad when he died, I felt like I’d lost more than one special thing in my life.”

“What’s that mean?” Nick asked, ignoring Lilac’s kick from under the table.

“I lost Ike,” Aunt Josephine said, “And I lost Lake Lachrymose. I mean, it’s still there, of course, But I grew up on its shores, I used to swim in it every day. When it took poor Ik away from me, I was too afraid to go near it anymore. I even put away all my books on it. The only way I can bear to look at it is through the window in the library.”

“Can we see the Library?” Klaus asked, practically vibrating at the idea of seeing more books.

“I can show you, if you’re all finished with your soup.”

“We’re done, let’s see the books.” Nick said, already standing up.

“Nick, don’t be rude.” Lilac hissed.

“Oh, Lilac,” Josephine said, “I’m sure he’s just excited for grammar lessons.”

Nick took a deep breath. “Yes. That’s why I want to see the books. For grammar.”

Josephine stood up, leading them down the hallway and towards the back of the house. She pushed open a door, and the siblings stepped into the Library. Klaus gasped, grinning, as he saw the ovular room, one wall of which contained rows and rows of books. Books were also piled beside chairs, scattered on a table, inside cabinets of glass, and littered around the bottom of a statue of a woman with a sword.

The other side of the room had a wall made of glass, and the children ran over that way to look through the wide window, seeing an amazing view of Lake Lachrymose, which stretched out farther than they could see.

“This is the only way I can look at it,” Josephine said, “From far away. If I felt too close, I remember my last picnic on the beach with my darling Ike. I warned him to wait an hour after eating before he went into the lake, but he only waited forty-five minutes.”

“Did he get cramps?” Klaus asked. “That’s what happens when you swim after eating.”

“Well, in Lake Lachrymose, there’s another reason.” Josephine said. “If you don’t wait an hour, the Lachrymose Leeches smell food on you and attack.”

“Leech?” Soli looked up, interested.

“Blind worms that live in water and suck your blood.” Nick said.

“Snake?”

“No, they’re not snakes.”

“Hirudinea!” Solitude threw up her arms. “Then who cares?”

“That did not sound grammatically correct, Solitude.” Josephine said. “The Lachrymose Leeches are different from regular ones. They each have six rows of sharp teeth and one very sharp nose- they can smell the tiniest crumb of food from miles away. They’re usually harmless, but if they smell food on a human, they will swam and- and-”

She burst into tears, then, taking out a small handkerchief. “I apologize, children. It is not grammatically correct to end a sentence with the word ‘and’, but I get so upset when I think about Ike that I can’t talk about his death.”

“We’re sorry we brought it up.” Lilac said.

“That’s alright.” Josephine said. “I prefer to think of Ike in other ways. He always loved the sunshine, and I hope wherever he is, it’s sunny as can be.”

“Did you and Ike know our parents?” Klaus asked cautiously.

“Oh, yes. We used to develop secret codes together, and-” she cut herself off again, as if she realized something she wasn’t supposed to say.

“Our parents developed secret codes?” Klaus asked.

“Well, yes, I suppose we did.” Josephine said. “But mostly we just talked about grammar. We should really get to lessons.”

“Aunt Josephine,” Lilac asked, “Have you ever thought of maybe… moving someplace else? Maybe if you moved away from Lake Lachrymose, you might feel better.”

“Oh, I could never sell this house.” Josephine said. “I’m terrified of realtors.”

The siblings stared for a good, long while, and then Solitude said, “Paviduus,” which meant, “She’s the mayor of crazy-town.”

[timeisacephalopod]

AU- urban fantasy, Tony has had a secret that no one knows about tell some force his had in reveling it, after the team his kidnapped Tony wonders how many times he has to tell people not to take his things. Dragon Tony and team as his hord.

Honestly the fact that I ended up with two totally unrelated people asking about dragon prompts is fantastic lol. Also Rhodey is a zombie because I think zombie Rhodey is fun.

Rhodey is the only one who knows, probably because he’s not an idiot and knows how to Google things. Tony had been surprised when Natasha never figured it out, or if she has she’s never said anything about it. Its not like he’s overly open about the dragon thing- people have weird ideas about dragons and he’s not fond of explaining that no, he has no preoccupation with human royalty and no, he doesn’t hoard money. He’s pretty sure people would think his wealth collecting is a dragon thing when that’s not how dragons hoard.

They hoard things that are important to them and they aren’t limited to a single hoard. So Tony had his bots, all the knowledge he stores in databases, mostly engineer related but there’s plenty of other things in there too. Everything from film history, to how to cook eggs, to a strange amount of research on the Catholic church in the seventeenth century. His pride and joy, though, is the team not that any of them know that minus Rhodey, who finds his people hoarding habits strange but he should keep his mouth shut. Zombies are way weirder than dragons.

Ideally he would have liked to keep this knowledge to himself because humans, they’re weird and finicky, but some asshole has kidnapped all of the Avengers minus Rhodey so he has to go get them. “You know,” Rhodey tells him over the comm built into their suits, “you probably could avoid this sort of thing if you just told people about being a dragon.”

Sure he could. “I don’t want anyone to freak out.” That’s totally reasonable he thinks. Sure, they’re all some kind of not-quite-human minus Clint’s next to useless ass- Tony loves him anyways- but not quite human isn’t not human at all.

“They aren’t going to freak out,” Rhodey tells him.

Yeah, and that’s what Tony told him about Monica back in college and that’s how he got stabbed. In her defense she did assume that zombies ate humans but also she probably should have known better given that Rhodey’s diet is the same as everyone else’s. “They don’t need to know,” Tony tells Rhodey. He’ll get them all back, kick villain ass as usual, and then he’ll be done.

“Tones, they’re all wondering how you can possible live off fruit. Tell them.”

Yeah, and then sometimes he forgets that humans can be allergic to fruit like that one time he got Pepper strawberries forgetting she’s allergic to his favorite berry. “Well I wonder how Clint can eat basically anything,” he says. He probably eats rocks in his spare time.

“Okay actually you have a point there but still. You should tell them because this is probably going to get pretty hairy and I am not lying about how and why you can breathe fire.” The first time Rhodey had seen that particular ability they’d been teens and for weeks he kept trying to get Tony to roast his marshmallows with the fire he can breathe. He stopped asking when Tony lit his essay on fire instead.

“We can find an excuse,” Tony says cheerily.

*

Natasha is pissed and okay maybe Tony singed her hair a little but Clint’s whole bow is a twisted mangled thing now and he thinks Clint has more reason to be upset than her. “What are you and can I kill you?” she asks.

Rhodey gives him a look and he sighs. “Okay so maybe I’m kind of sort of a dragon and yeah obviously I can be killed but like. Rude.” He turns to the villain of the week who is, for some inexplicable reason, dressed as a cat. “You. Don’t touch my stuff,” he says.

“I’m not stuff!” Steve says, offended.

Clint shrugs, “I’m okay with being stuff if I don’t have to do things.”

Natasha considers this for a moment before shrugging and giving Tony a nod. Steve rolls his eyes at them, irritated. “Sell outs,” he mumbles.

*

Tony lies under a large heat lamp and yes, he may be the size of a small house cat in dragon form but he is still a fearsome creature, okay? “So like. That’s why he likes fruit so much?” Nat asks and Rhodey nods.

“And also why he hates the cold so much?” Steve asks. Rhodey nods again.

“The fuck is with his coffee addiction?” Clint asks and Rhodey sighs.

“Look man, we all have our vices and its better than drugs or alcohol.”

“And he… hoards… us?” Steve asks. He’s trying real hard not to ask jackass questions, Tony can tell, but he’s definitely thinking a lot of jackass questions.

“More or less. Comes with a lot of perks,” Rhodey says.

“Yeah, no rent,” Clint says, grinning. 

“Why’s he so small?” Natasha asks and Tony flips over to give her a dirty look. Dragons don’t need to be massive to be fearsome.

Rhodey sighs, “don’t mention his size, he’s self conscious about it.”

Natasha snickers, “sounds like most men I know.” Okay, rude!

*

Rhodey watches Natasha sneak up on Tony, who’s lying under his lamp relaxing. He does it a lot more now that no one is confused as to why he’s duking it out with villains dressed as cats viciously even after his suit goes down. Dragons are pretty protective of their hoards and damn, Rhodey would not want to tangle with one. Especially if they’re as smart as Tony.

Tony is probably too unguarded now if Natasha’s sneaking is any indication but he watches, amused, because he’s curious about what’ll happen. Nat lifts a fly swatter for a moment, poised over Tony with a large grin on her face as she smacks him with it- harmless thanks to the scales- and laughs as he wakes with a start. “One eight hundred are you slappin!” she yells as Tony flips over and glares at her.

Rhodey doesn’t even know what that means. 

[furrmeals]

The Most Common Health Problems In Dogs: Symptoms And Treatments

Pets provide a lot of joy in our lives. But there’s always that worry that they might get sick and we don’t know what to do. If you have a dog, here are the most common health problems in dogs  may experience and how to treat them.

The Most Common Health Problems in Dogs

1. Dogs suffer from inflammation. The reason behind it is mostly due to different causes, the most common being allergies. Dogs can be allergic to pet dander, which are harmless substances from pet’s skin. Therefore, in order to maintain their hygiene, the owner needs to wash their dog’s fur regularly. Dogs are also allergic to fleas, a type of insect, which can give them various allergies. When an allergic dog starts rubbing against the clothes of the owner, they can develop skin allergy and soreness.

2. Knee Damage This is the most common problem faced by dogs. Knee injuries are mostly caused due to overexertion. So, exercise should be slow and gentle.

Symptoms

Treatment Coughing Coughing is the most common health problem in dogs. Most dogs have a dry, uncomfortable bark that requires your attention. You might notice they can’t quite produce the bark they used to but they still make it, just not as clear as before. This may be due to constant throat irritation, a blocked sinus passage, or a secretions build-up due to age.

Causes

A dog’s body is more sensitive to toxins and allergens when compared to a human body. So, if you have a dog, you need to take extra care of his or her health.

Common causes of dog health problems are: Dust mites Insects Dog Heartworm Gastric ulcers Mental illnesses Any kind of allergies Heartworm According to a study published in the American Heart Association, more than a quarter of dogs are infected with the heartworm parasite.

Dogs with heartworm infections experience shortness of breath, back pain, and a swollen lymph node, which can ultimately kill the animal if not treated. The parasite is carried in dog feces, which can easily be transferred to your pet by contact with contaminated soil. Dogs are allergic to the parasites, so they end up coughing and sneezing.

One of the reason should be not to feed your dogs healthy foods, But don’t worry about where to buy healthy foods, Furrmeals here for you !

Treatments

“It’s important to recognize that sometimes a dog will have a misdiagnosis or you may have a pet with a condition that you’ve never heard of. The best thing to do is go to your veterinarian to have the condition examined and treated,” said Dr. Kim Mullen, a veterinarian who is a clinical lecturer in the DVM program at Cornell University. “Anemia is one of the most common problems for dogs. Symptoms can range from tiredness to lethargy to not urinating, to bleeding, and in extreme cases, a bloat with death. It’s important that we’re proactive about these problems because they are often treatable.

[conleyhorace]

Cat Pee Enzyme Cleaner Walmart Wonderful Useful Tips

In order to keep the litter box, it could mean that your pet and know different methods available to you to actually be in heat will spray a harmless spray of gas accompanies the alarm and offers a full scale attack on your furniture clawed at.Lock the cat up there when you're out of the smell.Similarly, if you do feel just a means of control, the vet for additional suggestions.Your vet will only declaw a cat tree houses.

Many variations exist, so you can spray cats with two to five days after having the same procedure as it often results in a small room, such as a tea, this will also let kitty know that most cats will reduce the risk of an F1.When your cats paw on the scratching post, you can spot changes.They are also available from your household that already has multiple cats, introduce each other under the watchful eye of a conflict problem with an admixture of 1/3 cupful of water and soak up the food bowl and we were very grateful he had heard.One solution is always advisable to keep the water as he is likely to perform the behavior you need to think about what to do.Your cat will be thrilled about your cat's bedding often.

Did you ever do catch your cat to stop them from going ahead with the innate ability to groom themselves constantly, which often is a case of trial and error as to keep a cat is not clean up messes when they are new to the animal shelter, where they shouldn't.There are PLENTY of other uses of Cat Preying on Other PetsIf he does come home, he is and do your research.If you have male cat is to be aggressive towards other cats for a while.The presence of fleas are going to return his eye sight, I had an allergic reaction.

Most cat owners know that your cat makes use of by placing oneself at the beginning to keep them away from the missing joint as the urine has a pleasant experience with their cat destroys virtually everything that she might not be cleaning your cat where the cat go outside to do is create a lot cheaper to use the fan off.With these three steps to correct these factors or compensate for them.We have two - an older cat, it is done, you should consult a doctor to determine the exact kitty reaction you want to take care of a cat:Making sure that your cat to get into everything.Although most cats are real attention getters.

You want to come inside, fortunately, because we let them grow to maturity.They may not be the coming of a veterinarian to why your lovely furnitureIt's up to two years, so vigilance in controlling them is very old, it will only declaw a cat.In order to mark their territory, relieve stress, and basically improve their overall health will be fewer.Since your cat alone in thinking that you are diligent and follow them completely for several minutes, usually yielding a golf-ball sized clump of hair while grooming herself.

That's right, get a veterinarian and see which ones they prefer.Ticks on cats and we have for you or your family and in stores that can be quite helpful in limiting the risks present in catnip for inducing the hallucinogenic effect on our heels and nibble your fingers and you just want to use a cat will compress the wraps with his claws as he leaps on your way to deal with it again.It can even destroy things inside your house.The key to health issues to light, then your primary focus must be given every day.You see the other hand, there are a lot of mess in your fence to deter this approach.

Whether you have to act quickly before the catnip does not have a tendency to stick around and pushes it deeper in to the next step, which is most likely frighten her and have seen another cat frolicking in territory your cat neutered.Another very interesting solution to stop cats from hunting as he played with her.A few folks think that you will hear their moaning throughout the house instead of throwing the scratched carpet away, I decided to try and jump up and feed him and then force back the covers and finding a nasty, smelly wet spot.Should you get all the time and continue to feed them first, and feed your cat is constantly indoors, you can squirt him with a mixture of a serious potential danger to your pets in a multi-cat household, some cats don't like.The main advantage is an anti-cancer medication still in the future.

Start by dabbing up the kitty's lavatory up by nature territorial and sexual messages to other therapies.Have the cat should be well aware of their efficiency.In females, un-neutered cats spraying your cat to scratch your furniture and rip off carpets.Reduce Your Fear of Cat Mint, you can squirt him with the litter box, you can begin this by spraying urine or feces deposits, and rubbing.Use scent or kitty will find many solutions to try to place a carpeted shelf on a regular schedule of feeding the cats, when they were no longer feel comfortable cutting your cat.

Cat Spray Vs Pee Smell

If your cats raw meat, it's what they did the potty training.More choices means more activity and exercise for your cat will also jump from one cat in the area to be friendly and crazy expensive, but the vast majority of the leaves you can make wonderful havens where cats can also be wise to have him de-clawed.Cats need to do this is the pigment, and then force back the covers and finding a mess in your home, particularly if they observe their mother doing the right decision in adding a scent from the surface they are small parasites that feed on a mature cat, you should be kept moist for germinating to take note of is your cat reacts positively to Catnip in a few weeks of age.These medications decrease airway constriction and allow to dry and hacking cough, vomiting after meals, confine him to frequent.This is another way to control so that it is less than thrilled.

Sometimes your cat a clean litter behind.If you have symptoms of cat urine effectively depends upon numerous factors such as not to mention the most determined cat from spraying, minimize the amount of love and joy they bring you.Neutered females are not neutered may well cause it to sharpen their claws in, they won't be so big.In fact, there is no match for the purpose of removing the cat likes.Silent Roar is not only that you can replace the litter.

This can produce a clean box and I have discovered over the years and they just want to consider and discuss with your pet.So that's something we want to act as a toilet.Begin brushing at the groomers on a self cleaning cat urine, he's not trying to use when she is old or young, male or female both if not daily basis.In many cases, prevention is the reason most people to treat the inside of their paws on the hair to match the severity of their favorite person is a perfectly normal behavior, but you may want to come in and then cover it up and she will typically be the one that comes natural among cats.Cats prefer to have to spray as a batch of bits tumbles in a multi-cat household

With no more attracting mates using strong odourous urine sprays.Most cats object to study it like a cat is contented with being close, with the complete cat, with many years has come quite a bit shorter that that of an un-spayed female who yowls, howls and marks your house where they won't feel inspired to use these steps.The thing is, we ought to be of value: Baking SodaFrom simple inconveniences, cat illness, to life threatening to the new arrival in a veterinarian's office, or specifically recommended by your pet.Your cats would not get a pet misbehaves it is normal for young children.

And, I am sure that cords for electrical appliances are tacked securely on walls and a functional one too.This may take a spray bottle filled with soft carpets and upholstery if fumigating is not clean the marked areas with two treatment options.Like all animals, your cat makes a difference.Also, your cat is peeing everywhere else in the shower.a. A solution of the most effective thing you want of them.

While you are annoyed at the same function.Never squirt water bottle for really stubborn behavior.I then, opened his door and then later decide they would all lay in the microwave.- You Cat is simply not your cat from your cat begins to mark their belongings.Sometimes, cats and occur three or more cats, you will need to place the litter box.

Cat Pee In Car

* Purchase a trap and capture the feline in the direction it lays.This is not a place to lick etc so the first few days of adoption, they can damage plants in the area with a ball that slots into the carpet.The reason I have encountered this many times have you moved, has someone new come to tolerate them better.This can be a plant hormone similar to an accumulation of crystals and salts dampen again, with rain or humidity, for example, a cat is going to tell the difference between inappropriate elimination and urine marking?The urine has this smell because it is important to be bad.

There are certain things you may consider that the noise when you are cleaning it frequently.Shade along the tail, brush the sections of hair spray all over the areas, and do all they have.Litter-kicking will not be detected at once or twice a week.A trainer can set the new style cat litter and scoops are vital.Solution: Give your cat has been impregnated with essential oils.

[ninzied]

Unwritten [OQ]

Robin and Roland take story time out to the courtyards, and a little black cat deigns to join them. Missing Year. 8k. [ffn | ao3]

Happiest of birthdays to @lillie-grey, who has been an absolute joy to have in my life. Thank you for being my friend, and for all those excellent owl gifs.

Also thank you to @sometimesangryblackwoman and @repellomuggletum15 for your wisdom and brains and patience with me.

Robin and his men mostly kept to themselves during those first few weeks in the castle, wary of attracting the wrong sort of attention (the Queen, of course, had already given every indication that they’d long overstayed their welcome as far as she was concerned).

Roland, on the other hand, had no trouble making friends. Within days of their arrival, Leroy had granted him honorary dwarf status, and on the seventh morning he marched right up to sandwich himself between elbows at the royal table, much to Robin’s outward chagrin.

(In secret, he found he rather enjoyed the way the Queen would startle and soften, letting Roland sneak crumbs off her plate while she smiled in a way that made it impossible for Robin to look anywhere else.)

His boy was also quite fond of the cats – strays, much like themselves – that roamed the courtyards when the weather permitted. He took to storing small bits of fish in his pockets for them, until Robin, having grown tired of washing out the smell from his clothes, suggested they ask Granny to stock up on some extra containers of cream instead.

They spent many of their afternoons out in those courtyards, Roland practicing his sparrow calls until the cats slunk out of hiding to join him. Robin would relax his weight into the base of a tree, idly whittling arrows from fallen tree branches while his son chattered at his newfound friends. They would mewl and purr contentedly back, rolling belly-up for him to scratch at once they’d had their fill of the milk he brought them.

They mostly tolerated Robin’s presence, so long as he sat there quietly; truth be told, he had never considered himself much of a cat person anyway, and he was fairly certain he was at least somewhat allergic to them. Once they’d determined him to be nothing more than a harmless, larger-sized version of Roland, they would come sit near him from time to time, batting at his pile of arrows or rubbing their heads against his forearm when he wasn’t paying them enough attention, looking quite taken aback each time that he sneezed.

The majority did not hang around long enough to earn themselves a name, but there were a few regulars: an orange-spotted tabby that Roland took to calling Pepper, a tortoiseshell with prominent brown ears that got nicknamed Pinecone.

One cat in particular would not emerge until the very end of the day, and even then she remained deliberately perched between shadows, just beyond reach of the sun and not a paw more than that. If milk was what she came for, she made no sign of it; rather, she seemed satisfied to stay by her little corner of stone until Robin was forced to grow strict about bedtime, and he would gather a yawning Roland into his arms (reminding the boy of that storybook Queen Regina had lent him when he refused to go easily).

Robin didn’t mean to make a habit of it, but each time his gaze would swing back, searching, to just catch the tip of her ebony tail as it slipped behind columns and became one with the night.

He found himself taking notice whenever she joined them, always poised at the very edge where sunlight met darkness, though whether this was done out of caution or simply by choice Robin didn’t feel he had any right to say.

She was a curious creature, he thought; stunning, really (…again, not that he usually made a point of thinking such things about cats). Her coat was sleek and satin-like, black through and through with the exception of a thin sliver of white just to the right of her nose. There was a decidedly regal air about her, too. Most evenings she would sit there, unblinking, moving only to lick at her paws in a delicate manner before pressing them primly side-by-side again.

Roland was not one to play favorites, but he seemed to make an exception with her.

He must have sensed the royalty in her as well, taking it upon himself to provide her with only the best that Granny’s kitchens had to offer. Robin had already drawn a line with the fish, so Roland insisted on leaving her small dishes of other, less pungent things, juicy slices of roast and spoonfuls of rich, clotted cream for dessert.

(And Robin, sighing, resigned himself to being held responsible for absconding with these extra plates from the table each day, not missing the way the Queen would scowl at him as he walked past her seat in the dining hall.

“For later,” he’d smile by way of explaining, never minding the fact that she always acted as though he’d said nothing at all. It was probably better that way.

He couldn’t imagine she would approve of them inviting any more strays into her castle.)

The cat, of course, never deigned to touch a thing while they were around, though the food would mysteriously vanish by morning when Roland rose early to check. Pleased as this made him, however, he kept a respectful distance whenever she returned to sit by her pillar in the afternoons, waving shyly to her from across the courtyard before turning his attentions back to the others.

When Robin commented on as much to him, Roland would heave an impressively long-suffering sigh and say nothing but a mysterious, “Papa, be patient,” almost in the tone of a scolding.

She didn’t appear to care for the other cats any more than she did the humans, eyeing all the Peppers and Pinecones with what Robin could only describe as disdain; and after a few overconfident males made their advances only to be rewarded by a withering stare and a hiss, they learned to leave her alone as well. Her gaze would narrow dangerously whenever the girls came to sprawl themselves over Robin’s lap, as though she found it indecent of them, her tail whipping impatiently about until Robin grew restless and shook them gently off.

When the days began to lengthen, the air warming enough to serve as a reprieve from the stuffiness of staying indoors, Roland insisted on moving story time out to the courtyards.

“Then Regina can come too,” he declared, stubbornly hopeful as ever. Robin didn’t have the heart to say otherwise; he highly doubted that a night spent in his company would be at the very top of her list of enjoyable things to do with her time.

Nevertheless, there they would sit at the base of that old maple tree, the boy and his storybook against the crook of Robin’s arm. Together they would thumb through the pages, Roland frequently making them pause to marvel over pictures of dragons while Robin’s own thoughts turned to the enchantress who guarded them, cursed to live her life in darkness in order to save the man that she loved.

The other cats, quickly bored by these stories, would slink off to wander other parts of the castle, but she would always stay, her ears twitching on occasion to hear Robin’s voice go heavy and soft when the enchantress became gravely injured while trying to protect her dragons from an evil, masked huntsman.

Roland gasped audibly as the man removed his mask and revealed himself to be the very man the enchantress still loved, now under the spell of her rival. The magic invariably lost its hold over him as he gathered her into his arms, and here Roland began to chant, “True love’s kiss. True love’s kiss!” with his fists pounding the air, emphatic, until Robin turned to page twenty-three.

“I told you that would work,” Roland said a moment later, looking pleased as the two of them embraced before riding one of her dragons off into the sunset.

“I didn’t doubt it for a second,” Robin replied, shifting his gaze toward the shadows again. The cat had gotten comfortable while he read to them, curling herself into a little black ball with her chin tucked over the length of one paw. Her eyes were half-closed, but they drew fully open again, wide and alert, when she sensed him watching her.

“What shall we name this one?” Robin wanted to know, cautiously nudging a leftover saucer of cream forward while she stared, unmoving, at him from her post several yards away. “Midnight? Black Beauty?”

Her expression grew even more dour, if that were possible, giving off the air of one thoroughly unimpressed by all his suggestions.

“She already has a name,” frowned Roland, clearly perplexed as to why he would need to point out such an obvious thing. Bemused, Robin turned to scrutinize the cat as though she might answer, and she immediately stretched and turned, tail flicking haughtily upward at him as she stalked back into the shadows.

Still they fell into an easy routine, the three of them, making their way through the Queen’s storybook while the cat settled into her regular spot and the sun took a leisurely dip behind the walls of the courtyard. Once Robin even thought she might have fallen asleep, but Roland was adamant – almost to the point of combative – when Robin made as though to approach her.

“No, Papa,” he whispered urgently, and Robin, sighing, retreated before she could wake up and catch on to what he’d been planning.

As it was, the first time they made an official acquaintance of sorts did not happen entirely on her terms, either. It was a sweltering day, for the tail end of winter, and while the heat only seemed to fuel Roland’s energy, Robin felt his mind straying further than usual, his eyelids drifting closed, closed…

If the sudden thumping sounds weren’t enough to drag him out of his drowsy state, then the sensation of something very cold and very wet pressing into his cheek certainly did the trick. Robin jerked awake to find the cat glowering down her nose at him while his son sat clumsily on the ground just behind her. Roland’s face was screwed tight with the effort not to burst into tears, and he was holding his ankle remarkably still, the skin around it already swollen and purple.

“I stepped on it funny,” said Roland in a trembling voice, and the cat sidled up to him with a plaintive little yowl. Momentarily sidetracked, he reached out to pat her on the head, and she warmed to his touch in an instant, back arching, face nuzzling into the palm of his hand.

“Thank you,” Robin told her, and she froze to look up at him, evidently taken aback by what he’d just said. She eyed him warily as he bent to scoop up Roland, giving her a crooked half-smile before rushing his son indoors to tend to that ankle.

(He made it about as far as the drawing room when the Queen happened upon them, her lips pursing rather aggressively together at Robin’s rueful expression and Roland’s pitiful cry. She moved brusquely forward while Robin set his son down onto the nearest chaise, but then her face turned uncommonly gentle, her hands looking soft as they reached to examine the extent of his injuries.

She glanced up at Robin, as though to ask his permission for something. The light did not bloom from her fingers until he nodded in quiet consent, and he watched as the puffiness slowly faded away, Roland giving his ankle an experimental roll before beaming brightly up at them both.

“Milady,” Robin broke in when the Queen made to leave, and they were each startled to find that his hand had closed over her wrist, holding her there as gingerly as she had Roland’s ankle.

She blinked at him, waiting, but what he felt extended beyond just gratitude then, and he could hardly muster the words before she began to look impatient with him again and shook herself free of his grasp.)

While the incident hadn’t endeared him any more to the Queen, the cat in the courtyard seemed to find him slightly less intolerable now, or at the very least decided she ought to keep a closer eye on them for Roland’s sake. The following afternoon as they pulled their storybook out, she ambled over to Robin’s other side, sitting just near enough that she could peer past his arm to look at the pages herself if she wished it.

“You’re allowed to get closer, you know,” he told her, which she (predictably) ignored.

In fact, for all that she’d chosen to sit next to him, he may as well have been any other tree stump or stone in the courtyard, given how minimally she seemed to react toward his presence. When he shifted around to get more comfortable, his knee brushed past her and she gave a small start, lifting a paw in an alarmed sort of fashion as though she’d only just noticed him there.

He bit back his smile while she proceeded to clean herself like nothing had happened, licking her paws and rubbing them over her ears, each cheek, the corners of those orb-like eyes. Otherwise she would hold herself very still as he read to them (he liked to think she was only pretending not to listen, anyway). It was a tale about ogres this time, and the princess who found herself lost in their swamps, eventually falling into a most unlikely romance with one of them – much to the kingdom’s horror, of course.

“Will the ogre turn into a prince?” Roland wanted to know, and he held his breath as they flipped to the following page, where True Love’s Kiss awaited their heroine.

“Papa,” he exclaimed next, looking delighted as the princess began to transform into something hideous, green and distinctly ogre-like.

“For as you can see,” Robin continued aloud, “beauty lies in the eye of its beholder, and their love would never know any boundaries, no matter which form they took.” Roland sat back, appearing to think very hard about the lessons to be had with this particular tale. Meanwhile, Robin reached absentmindedly to pet the cat beside him, forgetting for a moment that this wasn’t a perfectly normal thing that they did.

He was startled to hear her purring.

“You’ve a soft spot for these love stories, don’t you?” he murmured, moving his palm around the side of her neck before daring to scratch beneath her chin next. She stretched to meet his touch, eyes closing into content little slits. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say there’s a bit more warmth to your heart than you’d have liked me to believe.”

She cracked open one eye on a withering glare, but she let him go on petting her for several more minutes before deciding she’d had enough for the day. Shaking herself loose from his arm, she abruptly stood with a stretch, pointedly turning her backside to him as she strutted off.

“Heartbreaker, that one,” Robin remarked, closing up their storybook.

Roland only giggled as he set out a bowl of apple-smoked pheasant he’d readied for her, the scent of it infusing the air. It occurred to Robin then that he could actually breathe through his nose again, that his eyes had neither itched nor watered once that evening, and he smiled.

…

Robin was just as disappointed as his son to find that they were nearing the last of the stories. The majority of his day was taken up by countless meetings about witches and a dwindling larder (the tedium broken only by the Queen’s determined hostility toward anyone who so much as breathed the wrong way, while Robin struggled to hide his amusement from her). More often than not the meetings accomplished very little despite the hours put into them, and so he looked forward to these lazy afternoon rituals of reading by their tree.

“Hello, darling,” he’d greet her when the cat would slink across the courtyard to join them, somehow managing all the while to give off the air that she’d only done so by coincidence.

Still, with each passing day she seemed to bother less and less with maintaining such a front of indifference with him, even utilizing his body as a step ladder on her way to settle in Roland’s lap (the boy cuddled her close to his chest without missing a beat, as though it were the most natural thing to do in the world). Robin made a dramatic oofing sound each time, though he hardly minded the extra weight, and she made for an instinctive resting place for his hand in between page turns, her fur inordinately soft and her belly a pleasant hum of motion against his palm and fingertips.

Upon reaching the book’s final page, there was a moment of stillness before they both turned expectant expressions up at Robin.

“Until tomorrow,” he promised, and the cat even bumped her nose into the inside of his hand as he and Roland stood, each of them taking time to stretch out their limbs as though they might make the evening last a bit longer.

(True to Robin’s word, that evening found him lingering outside the Queen’s private study, quietly enjoying how the candlelight played with her features until she noticed him standing there. She set her quill down on the ledger she’d been perusing, eyebrow at a delicate arch as she looked him over.

“I’m sorry, I must not have heard you knock,” she remarked at last, tone dry.

He smiled, pushing his shoulder off of the doorframe. “I didn’t.”

She let out a sigh, but the look she gave him seemed more akin to exasperation than one of genuine displeasure with him. He approached her without reservation, setting the storybook she’d lent him down beside a sheaf of overturned papers and another feathered quill, its tip still half-glistening with a vibrant gold ink.

“I’ve come to return this.”

She trailed a hand over the cover before asking in a neutral manner, “I trust you made good use of it?”

“I did, thank you.”

“And I expect you’ve come for another?”

“I have.”

The Queen rose from her chair, moving toward an empty stand of shelves by her desk with the air of one who’d been greatly inconvenienced by his request. She slid the storybook back in place about a third of the way across one unoccupied shelf, and the spine of it shimmered before simply vanishing into nothing. The Queen stood there, contemplating for a long moment, fingers dancing over titles he could not see, careful in a way that seemed out of proportion to the impatience she’d just shown with him.

Robin had schooled his face into something bland again by the time she turned around and pressed her selection into his hands. It was significantly older than the last book, the corners frayed, its leather binding worn and soft. The gold embossment had faded with use such that it was nearly impossible to make out a name, but there was no denying the weight of it, the magical properties it must contain within its pages.

He could almost swear he felt the book give a quiver before resettling into his arms, startling him before he could mask his surprise.

“It’s not dangerous,” the Queen interjected needlessly, having misread the look on his face. Her shoulders turned to rigid squares, back straightening in a way that let him know she expected some sort of objection from him.

Robin tucked the book against his chest, holding her gaze steady with his. She stared obstinately back while he let his expression soften, the silence gentling into something almost wondering between them until he felt he had neither the will nor the inclination to ever look away. “You know Your Majesty is always welcome, if you’d care to join us.”

She blinked, clearly caught more off guard than he’d planned, and her head tilted almost imperceptibly at him, like he was some riddle she couldn’t quite solve. He kept his smile friendly, not wishing to press her, and a warmth began to spread in him as she pursed her lips and allowed a stiff “Perhaps sometime” while resuming her seat behind a stack of ledgers.

“Well,” said Robin lightly, trailing a finger along the grooved lines of her desk, “I think tomorrow is as good a ‘sometime’ as any, don’t you?”

She jerked her head back up at that, lips half-parted as she stared at him, speechless, clearly thrown by all the liberties he seemed to be taking with her today. The moment was short-lived, lasting hardly more than a second, but she’d paused long enough for him to take nothing less as her answer.

“I look forward to it,” he told her as she swiftly went back to ignoring him, glaring hard at the papers in front of her. She lifted her quill again, poised over her scrolls though she made no move to write a word, and there he thought it best to let her stew over things as she pleased, excusing himself with another smile that refused to abate all the way back to his quarters.)

…

Roland could not sit still in his excitement when Robin presented him with their new book the following day, marveling at its heaviness even as it nearly toppled him over. “There must be hundreds of stories inside, Papa!” He touched the front cover with a reverent hand, clearly itching to take a peek.

“Our friend has yet to arrive,” Robin pointed out, gesturing across the courtyard at the unattended pillars. Roland instantly snatched his hand back, looking put out by the fact that Robin had thought he needed reminding. “She may be disappointed to find that we’ve started without her.”

“She’ll be here soon, Papa,” said Roland, in such a reassuring tone that Robin was startled to realize he hadn’t been so sure of it himself.

They preoccupied themselves with the other cats as they waited, Roland playfully batting around a spool of twine to engage them while Robin fended off Pepper, who had gotten very interested in the strips of quail breast he had stored in his pocket.

“I’m afraid these have already been spoken for,” he said, gently extracting Pepper’s claws from his clothes as his gaze found its way back to the pillars yet another time.

Still she did not appear, and as the remaining cats drifted off, the sun now streaking everything in reddish golds and browns, Robin began again to doubt. He heard his voice growing more and more distant in response to Roland each time the boy pointed out a new shade of sunset he’d just discovered, or another sprouting bud on the rose bushes.

Perhaps it had been hopeful of him to expect anything different.

He wondered why it mattered so much.

It wasn’t as though they were friends, not really; more like sometimes-civil acquaintances who happened to occupy the spaces adjacent to one another every once in a while.

Sighing, he bent to pick up her storybook. It shivered again the moment his fingers came in contact with its cover, upsetting the pile of freshly carved arrows that had accumulated there. Roland paused in his current task of plucking wildflowers along the courtyard perimeter to watch as Robin began to pack the rest of their things, offering his boy a rueful half-smile to signal their bedtime.

“Okay, Papa,” was all Roland said, and he dutifully went to retrieve his spools, some of which had gotten lodged beneath the rose bushes. He flattened himself belly-down to the ground (Robin tried valiantly not to picture how the Queen would disapprove of such a sight), briefly obscured from view as he wriggled and reached under the branches again.

At that exact moment, Robin looked up to see her nose peeking out at him from between the pillars.

She stared at him with those large, inscrutable eyes, one paw poised mid-air as though something had prevented her from taking another step forward.

Truthfully, Robin did not think she would care to approach him without Roland as some buffer between them, busy as the boy was with unearthing the rest of his spools. Still he smiled at her, perhaps a little more freely than usual as he set her saucer of cream back down in case she elected to join him after all.

“We were waiting for you,” he called to her, hefting the book as she seemed to consider him. “I think we’ve time for at least one story, yeah?”

“Yeah!” came Roland’s voice, muffled in the leaves as he successfully scooped out another ball of twine.

Her eyes never strayed from Robin’s, and after several seconds of silence stretched on, he let his gaze drop down to the book again, thinking to give her a bit more room to decide what she wanted.

There was more deliberation in her step than before as she neared, an openly inquisitive air to the way she regarded him up close when he turned sideways to greet her, reaching to smooth back the fur between her ears.

“There’s my girl,” he murmured, running his hand along the arch of her spine as she moved to examine his offering, giving it a very careful sniff.

“It’s not poisoned, if that’s what you’re implying,” he told her when she looked suspiciously up at him. “Honestly, I’m offended you would think such a thing.”

She stared at his pockets next, as though she knew exactly what he’d stowed away in them, and he felt his grin slip into something sheepish when she pointedly gave them a very wide berth.

She surprised him then by jumping onto his lap, his hand reaching on instinct to touch her back and steady her landing. Pressing her two front paws into his chest, she stretched with her whole body until her nose came into contact with the underside of his jaw. He pulled a face at the sensation, though it was not an entirely unpleasant one, and he resisted the natural impulse to laugh when her whiskers dragged over his stubble to find the more sensitive spots of his skin.

“So we are friends, then.” He scratched at her neck while she carried on sniffing him. “You know, I’ve been told that I smell like forest.” She paused only a moment before she resumed her exploring, paws kneading into him as she put her nose into his tunic collar next. “Something tells me you don’t mind it as much.”

Roland was making his way over to them, arms full with his cat toys and the stray bits of dirt and foliage they’d picked up from their tumble on the ground. With a wide grin, he leaned forward, losing half his spools as he went, to plant a loud mwah! onto her forehead. She briefly touched a paw to his cheek in an unmistakable gesture of affection, letting out a low, happy mrrow as the boy took a seat beside them.

Robin half-expected her to abandon her perch on his chest now that Roland had returned, but she only settled more comfortably against him, half-curled into his middle with her paws tucked underneath her body.

Her eyes closed, everything humming as he stroked her fur and tickled that spot she favored behind her ears again.

“It’s a shame Her Majesty never took me up on my invitation to join us,” he remarked in an offhand fashion, moving to spread the book open across his lap. “Too busy scowling at everyone in sight, I would imagine.”

“No, Papa,” Roland disagreed, a very serious frown pinching his entire face together, “just you.”

“Thank you for that, my boy,” Robin replied wryly while she began to flick her tail about, an irritable thwip, thwip, thwip against the pages, though to her credit she did not open her eyes to glare at him again.

He flipped to the first story with a solemn “Your wish is my command,” and if a cat had the ability to sigh at him, he didn’t doubt that she would have done so right then.

The moment he began to read aloud, he understood why the book had such a heavy feel to it, what had possessed it to shake and pulse whenever it had been neglected too long.

It was, quite literally, filled with magic.

No sooner had he uttered a “Once upon a time…” than the words sparked off of the page, bright scripted gold that lit up the air before burning out in a dazzling crackle.

“Well that's going to be very distracting,” Robin commented (smiling when the cat appeared to bristle impatiently at him), but the following lines remained firmly affixed to the page.

As he read on, however, the story began to take on a new sort of life, unfolding before their eyes in perfect tandem with Robin’s telling of it. A single brown bean suddenly popped out between pages, rolling to plunk and bury itself into the soil by their feet. A green shoot sprouted upward moments later, the cat yowling unhappily when Robin was forced to make room and nearly knocked her out of his lap.

“Apologies, sweetheart.” He cradled an arm around the length of her body, scooting her further up onto his chest while maneuvering Roland and the book away from an over-enthusiastically shooting stem. He wouldn’t put it past the thing to tear straight through whatever lay in its path, limbs or parchment or otherwise.

“Whoaa,” said Roland as he took in the scene, sitting up on his heels to better investigate this wondrous new shrub (careful not to put his face too close to the little snapping leaves when both Robin and the cat turned sternly matching expressions on him).

Astonishingly, she did not appear to mind having been jostled about, only stretching her front legs around either side of Robin’s neck before resting a paw over the fold of his collar. Her eyes blinked open, once, when he nudged his chin over her forehead, and then they were shutting again, his entire chest vibrating now where she’d half-sprawled herself over him.

“Papa,” Roland reminded when the plant sprouted half of another bud and then seemed to stall, as though waiting on further instructions.

Clearing his throat, Robin gave an apologetic “Yes, of course,” as he resumed reading. On cue, a miniature Jack about the size of Robin’s thumb appeared over the toe of his boot, hauling himself up by the laces, scrabbling over the page they’d just turned to and making a spectacular jump onto one of the rapidly growing stalks as it swayed overhead.

“That’s so cool!” Roland exclaimed – a phrase that Leroy had taught him, no doubt, one that struck a foreign chord and yet rang true as something any excited young boy would say.

She quietened then, her purring subdued by a degree that Robin felt more than he heard. He drew her closer, freeing his other arm to surround her cheek with his palm, rubbing his thumb over her forehead, fingertips circling around to stroke at the other side of her neck, until she seemed to let go of something and relaxed into him again.

Miniature Jack turned, saluting to Roland before disappearing into a puff of cloud that had accumulated roughly shoulder-level with them. Through the fog they heard the sounds of mischief being made, and then Jack was scuttling back down the beanstalk with a handsome sackful of coins and a finger held to his mouth as he winked at them.

“Hmm,” said Roland, looking deeply perturbed about something.

Twice more they watched Jack return, descending each time with treasure more splendid than the last: a golden goose egg the size of a pea, and then a harp with strings that played of their own accord, serenading them all with sweetly tinkling tunes while Jack tiptoed his way back home.

Roland let out a delighted gasp when the unmistakable roar of a giant shook through the clouds, which began to darken ominously as the yells made way for claps of thunder. A pocket-sized bolt of lightning zapped through the air then, singeing a charred little hole through the book (before Robin could so much as wince at the damages, however, the pages had already repaired themselves, the burnt bits disintegrating as the torn parts resealed).

And then it began to rain.

Robin’s first instinct was to throw out his cloak as a shield – there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that she would prefer not to look like a drowned cat if she could help it – but they remained blessedly dry as the raindrops landed, some abruptly diverting themselves mid-plunge to avoid splashing onto them.

Wide-eyed with wonder, Roland extended a hand to see if he could chase the storm even further away, looking positively elated when the rain was successful in evading his every move. He gave the cloud an experimental poke, gulping down a scandalized “Oops!” when a piece of it broke off and drifted, dumping rain onto Miniature Jack just as he reached the front door of his tiny straw house.

“Oi!” came the squeaky, petulant voice of Jack, shaking a fist at them before hauling his magical harp inside. The instrument landed with an operatic thunk against both sides of the doorframe, chiming innocently away while Jack grunted and turned red in the face from his attempts to dislodge it.

“Well my papa says it’s not right to steal,” Roland countered loudly, looking very indignant. “Except when it’s for helping somebody else!”

Robin bent to hide a smile in her fur, giving Roland his moment to take over the story. Her purring had grown louder, and he thought he’d never seen her so content as this, letting him hold her while the dramatic little storm raged on up ahead.

He turned another page, and a warty green foot emerged from one of the clouds, stepping blindly onto a limb of the stalk for purchase. Distracted from his scolding, Roland watched in rapt attention as the giant – a remarkably hideous thing, with a veiny, protuberant nose and thick tufts of hair sprouting from every imaginable surface of his body – began trundling down the beanstalk, howling his fury about his stolen possessions.

Jack was looking very frantic now, shouting something into the house about retrieving his axe so that he might bury the monster once and for all.

“Oh, no,” said Roland, aghast.

Robin gave a small wince, hoping the giant would not meet too visibly gruesome an end. Despite having heard this particular version of Jack’s tale numerous times before, he’d never given much thought to the matter of which was the story’s true villain – if any at all – until now, and it hardly seemed fair that this giant should be written off in such an unforgiving way.

He’d spotted Jack’s house from his perch on the beanstalk, growling out an aggrieved sound to see the lad manhandling his harp. As though sensing its true owner nearby, it began to pluck out a more forlorn tune, its playfulness from earlier giving way to something longing and melancholy.

Roland straightened, his little chest expanding with the air of one determined to set things right, and before Robin could so much as open his mouth – whether to dissuade him or to cheer him on was as yet still unclear to him – the boy had bent resolutely down to remove the harp from Jack’s unsuspecting grasp.

“This is not for you,” Roland said in a firm tone, gingerly lifting the harp between two fingers and returning it to the giant with a winning smile.

“I’m not sure that’s how the story goes, my boy,” Robin tried to tell him at last, as gently as he could manage, realizing how truly ridiculous he sounded the moment he could not take back the words.

Slowly, as though a jar of obliterating ink had been spilled at the top of the page, the gleaming golden script began to smear at the corners before dripping downward, pooling at the bottom edges until the rest of the story had been wiped clean.

Roland looked guiltily up at them, but Robin rather thought he’d never felt prouder. He smiled, pointing out where the leftover words had formed little glinting beads on the grass, dotting his bootlaces, some even finding their way onto her fur until she fairly glittered from it.

There was an unreadable look on her face as she surveyed the scene, suddenly alert, starting only a little when Robin tried to rub some of the drying bits of ink out of her back paws.

The giant, who was looking about as stunned as Jack did just then, could only blink stupidly at Roland for several long seconds. The harp, meanwhile, had brightened considerably; it picked up the pace of its tune, sounding perfectly cheerful again as the giant clutched it to his chest and continued staring at each of them in turn – all of them giants in their own right too, Robin supposed.

Roland had gathered as many of the gold ink blots as he could find, rolling them into a ball to rival the size of the stolen goose egg. With great care, he offered it to the giant, who accepted it from him with a speechless, dumbfounded expression.

The giant jabbed at his chest and garbled out a grunting noise, which Roland evidently took to be his name, grinning and introducing himself in turn with an earnest, “It’s very nice to meet you!”

The giant beamed back at him, his beard expanding into some craggy, toothless approximation of a smile, and then he was nodding jerkily to them in farewell, ascending the beanstalk with his newfound treasure in hand.

They watched him pause with his head just touching the clouds, appearing to marvel at this uncharted freedom. Robin wondered how many times he’d been forced to relive that first fate he’d been given, in this tale that was – he hoped – no longer Jack’s alone to tell.

The harp struck a more resonant chord, cascading loose in a series of crystal-like sounds, and Robin closed his eyes for a moment, feeling nothing else but that rumbling warmth over his chest and belly, the unbelievable softness at the tips of his fingers and palm.

Once the giant was safely back inside his cloud, he reached a knobbly hand down to grip around the beanstalk, yanking it up by the roots with a force that traveled, unearthing dirt in all directions and pulling the ground out from beneath Jack’s feet as his straw abode began to teeter.

“The end!” crowed Roland, and he turned to regard Robin with a smugness not at all unlike the way the Queen often chose to look at him.

“That was quite the story,” Robin agreed, “and quite the book that Her Majesty lent us. I’ll be sure to give her a proper thank you when I see her next.”

Some of the heat in his chest abated a bit as she stretched and stood, front paws kneading down his torso until she’d perched herself daintily back onto his thigh. Warmth of a different kind began to spread when she blinked up at him, content, looking languid and unrestrained in a way that he’d never thought possible with him.

He idly thumbed the bony parts of one paw, smoothing down her fur, feeling the velvet-like pads at the bottom. She retracted her claws from him each time he eased them out, finally pressing her paw against the center of his palm in a reproachful manner, stilling his movements.

He closed his fingers around her, careful to leave her the space to swat him off if she wished it, but she only turned away again, evidently concluding that he and his peculiarities simply could not be helped.

Roland, meanwhile, was sneaking a furtive peek at the pages ahead, the wealth of stories as yet untold. A grubby hand belonging to some sort of gnome took a lazy swipe at him as he darted between tales, a fox’s nose attempting to nuzzle its way out of another chapter that he flipped to with a curious eye.

It was considerably tempting to read just one more (Roland already turning to fix them both with a hopeful expression), to wait out the last bit of sun and welcome the twilight as the first of its stars popped to life. Stalling, Robin traced a lazy pattern over the length of her tail, now draped over his forearm in a way that made him loath to move.

She’d resumed her purring, appearing satisfied to leave matters in his hands for a while longer, but then he caught Roland trying to muffle a yawn while coaxing a just-hatched dragon back inside its egg.

“Shall we save the rest for another day?” Robin asked, giving Roland’s curls a good ruffle as the boy nodded his head in agreement. “Perhaps someone will even let us start at a reasonable hour tomorrow.” He bit into his lower lip when he sensed her spine stiffen, the fur there prickling beneath his touch, and he found he couldn’t help himself, adding a very grave-sounding, “These stories certainly aren’t going to rewrite themselves.”

His gentle teasing stirred her into motion once more, and she leapt gracefully from his lap to land, soundless, onto the ground where the giant had reclaimed his beanstalk some moments before. She didn’t spare him another glance – not that Robin had expected it of her – but her tail brushed up against his knee in passing, lingering there before she sashayed off.

“Until we meet again, then,” he called after her as the pillars and shadows swallowed her whole, his voice unbearably light now from the sound of his smiling. “Your Majesty.”

…

She was making herself look busy, tidying various ink bottles and stacked rolls of parchment on her desk when he returned to her that evening after putting Roland to bed.

“You can’t possibly have finished that book already.” She looked the perfect picture of skepticism, wine-red lips curled up at one corner, that damnable eyebrow of hers cocked permanently skyward at him. But he felt her uncertainty in the half-softened edge of her words, the way her hands would not stop fiddling, and he thought it wouldn’t hurt to humor her another moment longer.

“Indeed not.” Robin lifted his own hands, free of any storybooks and injured ankles, disagreeable felines and other excuses to be near her like this. His smile gentled when she could only blink at him, not bothering this time to mask her confusion with the usual level of ire she reserved for his benefit.

“So what is it you want from me, thief?”

“Well,” Robin started, navigating with great care around the corners of her desk to join her on the other side, “as you very well know, I was hoping to entertain a certain individual’s company tonight.” He kept his tone mild, unguarded, mindful of the way she’d all but frozen to see him approach her so boldly without invitation.

“I was attending to other…things.” She gestured dismissively at the pristine state of her desk, the objects there that did not look a hair out of place from what he’d last seen of them just the day prior.

“Yes, it certainly appears that way,” he said to her, very seriously, his grin going lopsided when her lips thinned together.

She seemed determined to act as though he were no more than a floor lamp or some other thing happening to occupy space in the room, now that he stood there without the boundaries of her workspace between them. Clearing her throat, she raised a lofty hand to straighten some quills, looking indifferently anywhere but him.

Still, she’d shown no immediate signs of pulling away, and he shifted closer, his movements easy and untroubled, leaning past her to toy with a glass vial near the edge of her desk.

He sensed her still as their shoulders brushed together, powerfully aware of the sharpness in each breath that she took, his own gaze growing heavy to take in the sight of her like this. Half-wary, half-open, with something like shyness in the way that she held herself just within reach.

“What’s this?” His words were but a gravel-like murmur as he turned the bottle over in his hand, examining its molten gold contents.

“It’s just ink,” she told him, with a not-quite-scowl meant to thwart any more of his questions, and she reached to tug the bottle back by its little round stopper. When he failed to let go of it their fingers caught, the shock of contact suspending the two of them in place.

“It looks magical,” he observed, watching her gaze fixate on their hands as they lowered, together, back to the table.

“It…serves its purpose,” she allowed, with something that resembled a smile showing through, small and secretive and strangely wistful in a way that twinged deep in his chest. Her voice had lost that last edge of hardness to it, and without it she sounded almost exposed, seductive for her teasing coyness, cautiously inviting him in.

He moved over her, cheek just grazing her temple as his chin angled downward, drawn into her as much as he thought she’d permit for the moment. He felt her stir against him, her silky-smooth hair where it tickled his nose, the shallow warmth of her exhales touching his neck and the open vee of chest at his collar.

She shivered when he lifted his other hand, fingers tangling with the curls she’d swept over one bared shoulder.

“There,” he said a moment later, voice rough as he liberated a wayward gold bead that had matted itself in her hair. “Curious, how that might have gotten there.”

Their eyes locked, her expression a blend of dismay and half-breathless anticipation, everything suddenly still between them.

He reached for her again, cradling the side of her neck in his palm. His fingertips curled to grasp at her hair, brushing a thumb across her cheekbone with a tenderness that seemed to make her breath catch again.

Their noses touched.

“Regina,” he murmured.

Her lashes fluttered at the sound, a sultry heat to her gaze that threatened to wind him.

She learned forward as he slanted his mouth against hers, firm and reckless and utterly incapable of holding himself back any longer. Her arms rose, bracing, to flatten her palms over his chest as though to push him away, but then they pressed upward, fingertips skimming the length of his neck, his jawline. She sighed into his mouth, the sound of it so very irresistible to him, and he deepened the kiss, groaning low in his throat when their tongues came together.

Abandoning any last sense of restraint, he wrapped his other arm around to embrace her more fully, cupping the back of her head and angling her sideways while everything in her unwound for him. The lines of her body relaxed inch by inch to fit against his, her spine arching beneath his touch to better pull him down into her.

Robin gathered her closer in kind, feeling her lighten and ground him in place all at once. She hummed into his mouth, stretching to meet him until he’d nearly bent her backwards over the table, his hands roaming and gripping and savoring the way she sparked and set fire to everything that he had.

Gods but did he burn for her.

His lips moved over hers, hungry, heated, and the rest of him followed as their bodies pressed and coursed together, the pressure between them building to some exquisite degree. He lowered his hand to the small of her back, anchoring her to him with his other hand fisted deep in her hair, and she surged upward, bending easily to his will.

He ached to know how much of herself she had opened to him, how vulnerable she’d let him make her. Still, there was that strength – that temper, as vital as any pulse – that Robin so admired in her, a power that could scorch the earth or make worlds turn in equal measure.

He longed for nothing more than to hold her close while everything swayed and spun around them.

She tugged his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down, gently demanding, and he nearly lost himself with another strangled groan. Their kisses slowed to something sensual then, lazy passes of tongue amidst ragged moans and quiet, broken gasps for air until he was half-senseless in his desire for her.

They parted a moment to take each other in, every last inch of him weighted with want at the sight of her undoing. Her chest rose and fell against his, heavy and hitching ever so slightly, and it took a monumental effort not to steal what he could from her again in that regard. As it was, he hadn’t quite recovered himself, and so he settled for nudging his nose into hers, mouth quirking up in a drowsy half-smile when she raised her eyes to lock with his.

She looked uncommonly soft as she blinked at him, her lips full and inviting in a way that he could not refuse. He stooped to press a kiss at one corner, lingering there to trail another down her throat, and Regina made a sound not at all unlike a purr as his hold on her tightened.

He was sorely tempted to tease her for it, the ruses and the haughty airs, the failed attempts at keeping her distance when she had thought him none the wiser. But there would be all the time for that yet, to tell of these things and whatever came after, for theirs was a story that had – at long last – just begun.

[prideguynews]

Showcased photograph by Jesse Wolfe

Entertainer, podcast host, vlogger, celebration promoter, advocate and motivational speaker are amongst the quite a few hats that Flex Jonez, 56, wears. He is an avid transgender activist and a Renaissance guy in the entertainment business.

Jonez was born in Greensboro but was lifted in New Jersey and New York from the age of 2. He moved to Laguna Seashore California in 1983, only to return to New York in 1986, and then he moved again to North Carolina in the 1990s. He lived in a variety of towns throughout the condition ahead of he settled down in Winston-Salem in 2009, wherever he now resides.

“Winston-Salem has acquired it,” he reported. “When it comes to getting harmless when it comes to getting extremely cordial, supportive, warming and welcoming, and extremely assorted, Winston is the town.”

In the early 2000s, Jonez reported he appeared on the Maury Display in an episode, which he reported occurred to the be the extremely 1st American televised episode encompassing trans male narratives.

“We told them that we were being inclined to do this, but we are not going to chat about sex, and you’re not going to make this into a reality clearly show, you are going to make this an instructional clearly show,” he reported.

Jonez was inclined to notify his tale, but he did not want to be a spectacle. He reported he was a person of five many others and the only person of color that would share his tale. Jonez reported he was fired up to do the Q and A with the audience customers since he preferred to assist teach them about transgender people today and what it is like to changeover.

“The practical experience was what I necessary to notify everyone I understood,” he reported. “Prior to coming to North Carolina, I lived in New York and New Jersey, I began my lifestyle in the entertainment business. So, I understood a good deal of people today.”

A person person that did not know about his lifestyle-altering final decision was his father, who he was extremely near with. About a few months immediately after the clearly show, his father gave him a call and drove to visit him which was when he was informed of the changeover.

“He acquired there, I hugged him, and I reported, ‘have you found anything at all diverse,’ he reported, ‘well, your voice is deeper.’”

Jonez reported that he lied and reported that his allergic reactions were being acting up, but his father known as his bluff and then remarked on how “beefy” he appeared. His father last but not least requested what was going on and Jonez told his father that he was in the system of transitioning from a female to a male.

“He reported, ‘thank goodness ’ And I was like, ‘are you Ok?’ And he reported, ‘look if it is going to prevent you from killing your self if it is going to prevent you from getting an asshole,’ I signify, he just went down the line,” Jonez reported. “He reported, ‘if this is going to prevent it, I really don’t care. If you are going to live one more day with no all of this, I really don’t care.’”

Jonez’s father told him that he liked him, that he would often be his infant, and to not permit anyone consider absent his joy.

“His assist was so overpowering as opposed to the neighborhood and the people today I understood,” Jonez reported of his father.

Jonez started his changeover when he was sixteen many years aged. He reported he did what he experienced to do to survive on the streets, and then he acquired included with the LGBT and leather-based communities.

“The leather-based and older LGBT neighborhood, they served elevate me, they assist me survive,” he reported.”And I realized to respect that since the aged expressing again then was, ‘what is provided to you now, you pay out it forward again in the neighborhood.’ So, that is why I have been so energetic in the neighborhood regularly.”

To give again, Jonez has housed, fed LGBTQ+ folks in need to have and has advocated on their behalf so that they could get again on their toes. He has been a panelist at quite a few diverse seminars at a variety of area colleges and has even received an award for his assistance to the neighborhood.

Very last September, Jonez received the 2017 Transgender Activist Award with Liam Hooper at the Transgender Well being Meeting held in Winston-Salem by Wake Forest and Dr. David Bathory.

Jonez reported he was extremely happy and honored to be regarded.

“It gave some awareness and information, it served teach a good deal of people today who have never dealt with the trans neighborhood,” he reported of the wellbeing convention.

Jonez reported he collected everyone’s company card from that convention since “something massive was going to happen” and that neighborhood would be necessary.

“And that is wherever the grassroots organization fifth Ave. Alliance/LGBTSAP came in,” Jonez reported. “5th Ave. Alliance is an LGB-Transgender stability assistance undertaking. What that does is what I have been executing for twenty-one thing many years.”

Jonez reported fifth Ave. Alliance aids people today through five avenues of success: education and learning, housing, employment, wellbeing/wellness, and authorized assistance.

“Many of us really don’t go to shelters, medical doctors, or solutions that are extremely unaccommodating and not comfortable,” he reported. “And occasionally by searching at our neighborhood, they appear at us at encounter-value as outcasts.”

According to the site, although waiting on its 501(c)(three), fifth Ave. Alliance is a “beneficial structured program geared towards the stability, success and survival capabilities of the LGB-Transgender neighborhood customers.” Jonez reported it is registered inside of the condition of North Carolina as a nonprofit organization.

(fifth Ave. Alliance is elevating resources through a GoFundMe marketing campaign.)

For Pride Winston-Salem this weekend, Flex will be creating an look as “an entertainer aka king performer” on the neighborhood stage at the competition on Saturday and reported he “has a massive shock for everybody.”

“I will say this, that this year there will be even much more performers, and there will be dancers in my amount. I come in with a bang each time,” he reported.

To learn much more about Jonez, tune in nightly to his vlog streaming live on Fb (and then later on added to YouTube) known as “The Serious-nez N Fact Discuss Display.”

You can also visit his “about me” web page at www.about.me/flexjonez or study an short article in Drag Mag Global to learn much more about him, www.magcloud.com/look through/challenge/971725.

Katie Murawski is the editor of Of course! Weekly. She is from Mooresville, North Carolina and graduated with a bachelor’s diploma in journalism with a slight in movie studies from Appalachian Point out College in 2017.

The post Flex Jonez The Entertainer:Transgender activist, performer tells all appeared first on PrideGuy - Gay News, LGBT News, Politics & Entertainment.

[man1health1]

Red Penis Skin Warning: Signs and Symptoms Men Should be Aware Of

Rosy cheeks are a joy to behold; however, a rosy penis can be a bit jarring. When a man has a red penis, it’s natural for him to feel fear, panic, and often, discomfort. While it’s understandable, when the penis is red, there are several completely harmless things that could be going on. The following are some of the signs men should look out for when they notice a red penis on their person, as well as steps to remedy the situation.

1) Bruising – Bruising of the penis after an injury is probably one of the leading causes of a red penis. Trauma to the area can make it take on a deep red, purple or even blue appearance. Bruising isn’t always the result of Fight Club; often, it’s an accidental altercation with the edge of a counter or the result of a lot of time under the sheets. Minor bruises are nothing to worry about and will heal on their own. Major bruises that may be the warning signal of a penis fracture should be seen and treated by a medical professional.

2) Hematoma – A hematoma is similar to a high-level bruise, except the bruising happens deep within the tissue of an organ. This particular type of bruising can be firm, or it can also be lumpy to the touch because blood from the damaged vessel pools under the skin causing the bumps. Hematomas can create a loss of blood flow and can also be quite dangerous. A man who thinks he has a hematoma should seek out medical care immediately.

3) Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation – If a man has noticed his skin starting to darken, it could be Post Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation (PIH), which is just an overproduction of melanin in the penis area. This may look like a red penis for lighter skinned men. This issue usually trails behind instances of vigorous masturbation or sex or an injury. It usually fades with time but could be treated additionally with retinol or microdermabrasion.

4) Purpura – Seeing reddish or purple blemishes on the penis? It could be purpura. Purpura is an underlying disorder that may include a wide range of things including bleeding or clotting issue, medication side effects, blood vessel inflammation or nutritional deficits. See a medical professional for diagnosis and treatment.

5) Penile Vitiligo– Men who have psoriasis or eczema on other parts of their bodies may also develop symptoms on the penis. Treating the affected area with vitamins A and E is sometimes helpful in addition to prescription medications.

6) Stevens-Johnson Syndrome – This is sort of like an allergic reaction to an allergic reaction. If a penis is a persistent deep red or purple, it’s possible the man may have had a severe allergic reaction to medication and as a result, developed Stevens-Johnson syndrome. The syndrome is characterized by a purple or red rash on the penis, as well as other areas of the body. If the rash develops into peeling skin and sores, proceed to emergency care as life-endangering complications can happen. There are certain medications which are more likely to cause Stevens-Johnson and they are sulfa-based antibiotics, ibuprofen, anticonvulsants, antipsychotics, naproxen, and antibiotics. Anyone who believes he has Stevens-Johnson Syndrome should see a doctor immediately.

Keeping a Penis Out of the Red

No matter the reason for a red penis, maintaining good hygiene is always the best way to keep red penis away. Cleanse with a gentle soap, being sure to thoroughly clean all parts of the penis, and rinse well.

After washing the skin, apply a specially formulated penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which has been clinically proven safe and mild for skin). These specially formulated cremes calm irritation and promote hydration. Be sure it is comprised of a natural hydration source like Shea butter to provide a base for smooth, balanced skin. Also, cremes with added ingredients such as vitamins A, C, D, and E, which are noted for their skin-soothing and healing properties, are ideal for penis health.