#quotable Inspector Spacetime

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Whenever something is set up as being absolutely impossible,

expect the Inspector to sort it out in a matter of minutes.

‘All this with only a barbecue, some cable and a pocket knife!’

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‘And make sure that I don’t do anything completely stupid, like try to use logic on someone. You know how humans react to that.’

— Tenth Inspector, in his message to Joanna Martin before making himself human in Unnaturally Human

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‘You want to find the Inspector? Simple. Just follow the chaos!’

— Joanna Martin

The Absalom Test

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‘“Jozxyqk”!’ — the Inspector

‘What? You’re just making up words.’ — Angie Lake

‘’Course I’m not! A Cat taught it to me!’ — the Inspector

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In the Revived Series, the Inspector has shown a tendency to

sniff or dip his/her finger into something, then taste it to figure out what it is.

‘Yeah, that’s not right!’

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The Inspector: ‘Wait a moment. Do I become you?’

The Other Inspector: ‘I reckon I become you!’

The Inspector: ‘I’d remember if I were you, though.’

The Other Inspector: ‘We’ll figure it out eventually.’

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‘You’ve never had thrice pudding? Once the pudding’s gone cold, you reheat it; that’s twice pudding. Let it go cold again, reheat it, and it becomes thrice pudding. That doesn’t take a lot of brain power to understand, does it?’

— Seventh Inspector

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‘There are three types of falsehoods: Lies, damned lies, and the truth that nobody wants to see, even if the evidence is right there before their very eyes.’

— 11th Inspector

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I love how the 12th Inspector isn’t afraid to criticise his own fashion choices:

‘I was going for something formal, but I reckon I came out with barrister.’

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The Inspector set up the fight between Emerald and Margarite

simply by warning her not to change the earrings’ setting.

‘Let’s see how you like psychotic mode!’

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The Panopticon was created to hold ‘the greatest threat to untold worlds, covered in the blood of countless beings, the destroyer of galaxies, something that could turn up any given day and bring your planet to an end’.

That being? The Inspector, of course!

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‘You trust that bloke, do you?’ – Meir

‘Absolutely, why wouldn’t I?’ – Brooke

‘’Cause he seems a bit of a madman.’ – Meir

‘That’s no reason to distrust him!’ – Brooke

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Sometimes, it’s like the writers didn’t do their due research before writing about things that they didn’t truly understand.

‘I’m about to FTP a software patch!’

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‘Are you the least bit aware of the amount of evil that has been done in the name of “I was just following orders”?’

— Ninth Inspector, ‘The Short Haul’

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‘Just take a look at those teeth. Are those time teeth? They seem to be everywhere at once!’

— Angie Lake, to the 11th Inspector upon really seeing his mouth for the first time

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‘Greetings! I’m the Inspector. I believe you were looking to eviscerate me?’