#ranteomnia

[foxgl-ove]

biggest tragedy in bg3 is not being able to at the very least have a fwb relationship with every companion. like, i guess i can understand polyamory is a bit harder to cover, but let me be a WHORE, larian, i want ALL KISSES. ALL KISSES NOW.

[foxgl-ove]

every day is a day to hassle larian into giving us

a. more wyll content, always, that man is a literal fairytale prince with angst on the side and y’all are sleeping on him

b. rolan romance, i WON’T. HEAR A WORD.

[foxgl-ove]

i have an internal conflict between,

a. wanting to support all my monsterfucking girlies that are down bad for the mindflayer

b. me, a monsterfucker girlie, Also wanting to be down bad for the mindflayer

and

c. that motherfucker called me UGLY. right out the GATE, bro, just dropped a You’d Be Prettier If Your Face Split Open And Tentacles Popped Out. fuck You, i’m PRETTY, gale said so

[foxgl-ove]

as a queer, nonbinary, femme presenting individual with an absent father, a conditionally loving mother, and the deep desire to have my chest split open under someone’s hands and have that someone love all that they find . i think about blue eye samurai a lot.

[foxgl-ove]

i feel like it should also be said that any rich person who promotes pro life is casting their opinion on Others. they will have access to abortions. those in poverty will not.

[foxgl-ove]

realizing i have nothing new to watch that will make me feel like blue eye samurai did and beating back the depressy with a stick because of it <3

[foxgl-ove]

act 2 is best act of video game. act 2 was cinematic as fuck, and it felt like an integral shift of mood to the plot.

act 3 makes me want to dip a toe into arson. violently.

[foxgl-ove]

i learned about the bag trick for stealing and then it was immediately patched i cannot have Shit huh

[foxgl-ove]

i think i’m in love with you, oh my god

just endlessly thinking about blue eye samurai.

thinking about how akemi, taigen, and mizu are if a coin had three sides or maybe just the two and mizu is the bridge of metal between them.

akemi being the ideal image for women, for the life they endure. she was simultaneously a princess, a prostitute, and a prisoner. her entire life was men making decisions for her, even the ones that had good intentions, and she believed her deepest desire was freedom. it still is, but she has been revealed to this heinous predicament of her gender, and she’s realized that to reach true freedom as a woman is to be the bird in the cage, to play nice and to earn the love of a man until he buys her a bigger cage and a bigger cage until he trusts her not to fly away. and it'll never be true freedom, but it will come with power. it'll come with the freedom of only one master rather than many.

taigen being the ideal image of a man. not all powerful, but not weak. he had a taste of what it'd be to succeed, and when it was taken from him, that easy success, he mistook it for his honor. he hunted mizu down to kill him, and instead he saved him. he saved him and saved him and he came closer to killing mizu when they were on the cliff's edge, and just when he gets to the point where he may actually fight mizu, he's tortured for information on him. he is tortured. Literally tortured within an inch of his life, enduring such a heinous violence, and he refuses to break. this man was a fight, was the torturer, and the victim of his torturing could've been his salvation from pain but he refused. mizu gave back taigen's honor but not by fighting him.

akemi wanted freedom and learned she would need power to have it.

taigen wanted power and learned that the violence that came with it was infinite and dishonorable.

and then there's mizu. mizu who wants revenge, wants acceptance. arguably the same things as them both. mizu wants acceptance, the freedom of living and the freedom to love and be loved. mizu wants revenge, which follows after violence and power, to get said acceptance. she thinks she must do both, have both, to live peacefully, and she's blatant about how she will not live without either.

she's given acceptance with the blacksmith, her "mother," her husband, but she sees the flecks of avoidance in it.

the blacksmith will not hear of her true gender. her "mother" will not acknowledge the crime of her birth. her husband can't find tolerance for the violence within her, the man of her.

and so she has to balance the woman and man of her, the ronin and the bride. taigen and akemi. and it's meeting mizu that they start to unravel their own identities.

mizu, who is both, and akemi and taigen who thought themselves one but turned out to be neither.

god.