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#rat pitt could never!
showmey0urfangs · 2 years
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alightelixe · 4 months
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I was just thinking about how Charlie would totally win the "two truths one lie" game (idk what the official name is lol)
He'd say 3 equally outrageous things that could only have happened to him 😭
This is how I imagine it would go:
Poets: "Charlie it's your turn; two truths and one lie."
Charlie: "okay, here it goes. First one: I once stole someone's car, drove it around the block then parked it in the original spot without the owner noticing. I left a note in there that said "Charlie was here". I never found out if he read it or not."
Knox: "I didn't know you could drive? When did you get your license?"
Charlie: "I don't need a license to drive, especially not in a stranger's car. Anyway, here's the second one: when I was ten, a classmate had told me about his pet rat, which obviously is the best pet ever. When I asked my father if I could have one too, he said no. So i decided to break into the boy's house. I kidnapped the rat and brought it with me. I kept it underneath my bed for a month until my room started to smell funny..."
Meeks: "that's gross."
Pitts: "and tragic for the poor rat."
Neil: "why do both of these stories involve a break-in? And why am I not surprised?"
Charlie: "Shut up. Get ready for the last one, this one's my favourite. Okay, during the summer of '56, I went on vacation to Italy. While I was there and alone in my hotel room, I secretly ordered 5 Martinis on room service while my parents were out by the pool. The delivery guy didn't even bother to check my age? He must've thought I'd ordered them for my folks or something... anyway, I managed to drink three of them and I got completely wasted."
Cameron: "that's it? That's the story?"
Charlie: "no! I wasn't done yet. So I'm completely out of it and I walk out of my room to find my parents. There was only one thing I forgot... I hadn't realised I wasn't wearing any clothes. Apparently an employee found me asleep on the floor of the lobby."
Todd: "no way... You were walking around the hotel naked??"
Charlie: "Good luck figuring out which one's fake!"
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Greek heros as Dead Poet Society characters.
Neil- Achilles, destined for talent but fated to death from the very beginning. Would definitely go to the end of the world for something he loved (Todd or acting). His parents forced him to do whatever they want (Achilles hidden away from society to get him out of the war).
Todd-Orpheus. He is always looking back at Neil, to see if he is there. When he ran to the lake because that is where he and Neil read lines together just like Orpheus ran to the underworld to get his wife back. Todd thought that he could be with Neil once more here. He stood on the desk and that was when he finally realised he could never get back what he lost just like when Orpheus turned around.
Charlie- Heracules. This one is due to the fact he always had a view in life and used that view to overcome trials. He let Mr Keatings help him go through these trials, joining the dead poet society, the woman, the phone call and the fact he never ratted out the other poets. These were all his tests but unlike Heracules he was a loyal friend and would definitely never kill his wife and children.
Meeks- Telemachus. Okay so Meeks is very smart but waited for the perfect time to do things. Putting up the radio with Pitts. Standing on the desk. Ripping out the pages in the books. Telemachus has to wait for the perfect time to get the suitors, that is when his dad is back and Meeks waits for his friends to make it clear that he should get the job done.
Pitts-Daedalus. He made a radio with Meeks and had to hide his invention from his school. His invention worked and got his not out of a maze but out of having no music.
Cameron- Agamemnon. He yelled at Achilles because he didn’t get his way. Everything must go his own way. And he gets killed in the end and in the movie he gets punched in the face.
Knox- Odysseus. Knox’s journey to Chris was like Odysseus’ home to Ithaca. Something always gets in the way, more woman arrive and he has to work his way until he finally makes it to where he wants to be. Only Odysseus is smart and it didn’t take him lots of begging and stalking to get to his wife.
Really random post but Carpe Diem and go read the Odyssey
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lioncunt · 1 year
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for the send you a character, louis? thank you!!
THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THANK YOU
first impression: louis my poor meow meow my first impression was Rat Pitt in the movie when i was 15 and i’m so sorry for it. i hated his guts im sorry to say. i was watching that movie like my god get this man off my screen i thought he was so boring i was in tears from his lack of acting. then. then i read the book and i was like oh……oh he’s actually a really interesting character he’s full of contradictions and pain and his misery and grief is completely justified oh…….there were of course times i got fed up with his narration which i think is a natural occurrence of reading interview and there’s the nasty shit anne put in with him for whatever reason but i was on the whole extremely moved by him
impression now: jacob anderson and the show’s writing team brought this character to the same level of adoration for me that i have for lestat which is an astronomical feat. the depth of his show’s character is unbelievable, the changes they made to him elevated him to heights not previously known to mankind, he is everything i adore in this world, he’s my best friend my girl my brother in arms my husband and when he lies or is crazy i think it’s sooooo sexy. show louis is one of the best characters ever created im 100% serious if all else failed with the show i would keep watching it just for him. i love him so fucking much man. the layers to him…..like i honestly can’t really put it to words there’s just . so MUCH to him you know?? like his book counterpart there are so many contradictions but….it’s different in the show. i think with the book, anne created him as a psychological box to hold all the grief of that period in her life, so when she came back to the series ten years later it was too difficult for her to write him. but the show doesn’t have that deeply personal issue, the show has perspective, and it allows louis to blossom and thrive and reach his full potential in a way he never ever could before. i’m so thankful for what they all did for him every day 🥹 as for book louis, i wish he was in it more, when he is it’s such a treat. i remember in a post someone said we ITCH for louis to show up in the vc so we get a taste of interview again, the feeling that the first book gives us, and i think that really nails it. i’m looking forward to reading the final trilogy so i can see him be important again. all i want is for the show to keep him implemented as a main character, and they’ve said not to worry about that so i’m fucking thrilled
favorite moment: my fave book louis moment is him beheading santiago with the scythe, it’s soooo cool of him 🥰 my fave show louis moment is his bambi eyes on the balcony with lestat before the dance bc he’s so so pretty, and when he kills the alderman 🥰🥰🥰
idea for a story: i think louis should be the main character of memnoch the devil and he should get to meet satan 🗣️
unpopular opinion: him finding out armand killed claudia in the show isn’t going to change much, just like the book. that’s NOT the reason he and armand break up. of course it’s all spec but i foresee the show encapsulating the book’s core emotional arc with them.
favorite relationship: sigh. loustat .
favorite headcanon: the scene with him and lestat at the end of the first book did actually happen but lestat doesn’t remember it, and louis feels too bad to tell him so he just pretends he made it up so lestat isn’t humiliated. in the show he and claudia had a little book club
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kazz-brekker · 2 years
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wait tell me more of your thoughts on interview with the vampire (1994), i'm intrigued
Okay SO, me and my friends watched the Interview with the Vampire TV show (I persuaded them by being like "I hear it is extremely good and also gay and also vampires and also dramatic unhinged gothic romance" and so dragged them on a journey that involved a lot more fake blood and levitating sex than we originally thought it would) and to cope with the stress of final exams we then later watched the 1994 movie. I think it was definitely an … interesting experience to have watched the show first and then the movie rather than the other way around.
So, thoughts on the movie. The movie is incredibly not heterosexual and yet still, somehow, not gay enough. Louis and Lestat are basically a married couple raising a daughter but the movie can't quite seem to commit to making them canonically a couple even though there are, like, scenes of Lestat lying on top of Louis whispering to him about how great it is to be turned into a vampire. There is a scene where Louis and Armand have an entire conversation with their faces approximately half an inch away from each other, there is basically no other way to interpret their relationship than gay, and yet they DON'T KISS. It's absolutely maddening.
Another weird thing is how … compressed the movie feels? I'm pretty sure I would think this even if I hadn't seen the TV show first, it's just really hard to fit 100+ years of plot into a 2 hour movie. Louis is turned into a vampire so quickly in the movie that I have absolutely no sense of why on earth Lestat is so obsessed with this guy that he HAS to turn him into a vampire and live with him for eternity. The whole Louis-Lestat-Claudia household drama also unfolds wildly fast (there's like, one scene with Lestat and Claudia having drama and then she kills him). The vampire theater in Paris is pretty fun (all vampires are secretly theater kids, this is a simple fact of the world) but it only gets introduced in the second half of the movie. It felt like there was so much to fit in the story that things didn't have time to breathe.
Every single act of this movie ends with arson, which is kind of iconic and I do have to support that.
Louis owns slaves in the movie. This is extremely bad and awful. It is never remotely portrayed to be as evil as it is and the whole thing is basically forgotten as soon as he and Lestat leave the plantation. I support the slaves for burning down his house. Yvette should have gotten to stake him and set him on fire.
Louis in this movie is just … sad and kind of whiny and drinks blood from rats. He almost feels like a Nick Carroway sort of character where he is a very boring guy narrating a story full of people much more interesting than him, except those interesting people (Lestat, Claudia, and Armand) are all totally obsessed with him. One of my friends said that Louis is the most boring character in the movie but everyone acts like he is the most interesting, which is 100% correct. Brad Pitt you are nothing compared to Jacob Anderson.
Lestat is fun though! Not as good as Sam Reid (who could be!) but he is at least entertaining to watch. At one point he dances with a corpse.
There are fun 18th and 19th century outfits. The coats and dresses in this movie are pretty cool and according to one of my friends at least somewhat historically accurate.
Claudia's actress was very good! Apparently Kirsten Dunst was only 10 when she filmed this movie which is nuts, she honestly acted circles around everyone else and did a great job pretending to be an adult stick in a child's body.
The interviewer in this movie is basically a non-entity and I had sort of forgotten he existed until he came back at the end. No interrogation of the narrative going on here!
The ending of the movie is quite obviously a sequel hook for a movie of The Vampire Lestat that never got made but is still kind of fun.
End verdict: not a horribly, irredeemably bad movie, I had a somewhat entertaining time watching it and I don't regret doing so, but the TV show really is light-years away from it. I am now EXTREMELY hyped to see Louis and Claudia go to Paris in season 2.
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chaosintheavenue · 1 year
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Design Doc 12: Hoover Dam
Chaos's obsession level: 1/3
There was still a Battle of Hoover Dam between Caesar's Legion and the NCR, but it's not framed anywhere near as important and consequence-ridden as it was in NV.
3-Some Caravan Company is here! I freaking love those guys.
Because I was exposed to NV first, I can firmly say that my brain will never, never accept that McLafferty's first name was supposed to be Ailis.
Otto Steeeeeed.
Looking at the general map of the dam, and I actually think I recognise the locations of buildings that were used in Arizona Killer/You'll Know It When It Happens. Might be misremembering, though.
Holy shit, slowly coming to the realisation that I barely know anything about VB!Hoover Dam. Probably because I knew from the outset that I wouldn't be including it in my iteration of VB lore, but still.
'A lovely receptionist behind the desk eager to greet the player in a foul-mouthed, military manner'- there's a running theme of VB location greeters giving amazing first impressions.
More 3-Some stuff here.
Crimson Caravan are secretly supplying both the NCR and BoS (who in VB are actively at war) with weapons. Can't say that's a surprise.
Followers of the Apocalypse are getting involved, apparently under the name 'Children of the Apocalypse'. I'm inclined to believe that name is a goof rather than a genuine subgroup.
Hoover Sabotage mentioned.
Fantastic real estate advertising: 'It comes completely furnished with the latest wasteland furniture and has a fine view of the toxic lake. On special evenings, one can look out on the lake and see horrible lake monsters fighting to the death. Romance doesn't get hotter than this'.
The designer left a comment that a specific NPC wasn't intended to have any associated quests, but might still be given some in future depending on how much the designer enjoyed writing their dialogue. Very relatable sentiment lol.
Okay, so this isn't news to me, but I just feel the need to acknowledge that a total dipshit of a Prisoner could have had the option to blow up Hoover Dam.
Trogs? Trogs. They're a far cry from the Pitt creechers, but AFAIK this is the first use of the name within Fallout.
Pig rats return.
There seems to be confusion over whether one of the Giordano triplets is named Carlo or Guido.
Once again, a lot of NPCs cropping up that I've never heard of in my life.
Van Graffs appearing again. And we have a namedrop of Jean-Baptiste Cutting specifically referenced as a prisoner (he was one of Josh Sawyer's player characters in the internal PnP edition).
Otto!
I legitimately forgot that Mallet McBride was here (in my canon he's found on the Strip) and got semi-jumpscared when I saw his name.
There's a quest to teach a school class on wasteland survival that seems very close to the one that wound up in Fallout 4.
The player could fix up and use the lab here? Neat.
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nonbayanary · 2 years
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author’s log
Here are my thoughts as I write the HiruSena fic titled, “The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known.”
Archive of Our Own  ●   Fanfiction.Net
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[check out the author’s log below the cut!]
Note: This post will be updated continuously, until the fic ends. So buckle up y’all, it’s gonna be a longass fuckin’ ride!
[Log 1]:  Fic Length
This fic actually wasn’t meant to be this long. Originally, I just planned on having three long chapters, with twenty-one parts. 
But then I got attached to these specific portrayals of Hiruma and Sena, and now I can’t let them go without putting these rat bastards (*affectionate*) under a microscope and giving their trauma an in-depth analysis. 
So uhhhh sorry y’all, now this story is divided into Acts 1 to 4, with (hopefully only) 69 parts for each one. 
4 Acts bcs in Japanese culture, “4″ is the number symbolizing death
And 69 parts each bcs EYYYYY 69 lmaoooo
[Log 2]:  Fic’s Manifestation Properties (part 1)
I think this fic has some powers of manifestation??? Like I know it sounds stupid, but hear me out ok
So when I wrote in Ch.2, part xi. that Hiruma used to get panic attacks, it hit me: “Shit, doesn’t this mean I gotta portray an actual panic attack? I gotta do right by the readers!”
And I was like, “Ah, fuck me in the ass and call me Satan. Even if I’ve read about panic attacks for years, I’ve never actually had any before. So how do I write them?”
And then BAM! At home, I start undergoing even worse domestic abuse and psychological torture from my father. 
BAM! I begin to have actual panic attacks. 
BAM! I start having panic attacks so often, that sometimes, I have as many as three consecutive attacks in an hour. 
At one time, it was so bad at home that my attacks were daily. 
But every night, that’s when my panic attacks hit the hardest. Because my father always came home at night. My attacks would knock me unconscious. Like, really knock me out cold, yo. Because this was the only way my brain could help me cope when my father and I were in the same vicinity.
And when I was in the absolute gutter, I would wake up in the midst of a panic attack. And then, when I realized my father was still inside the house, an attack would knock me out again. I would continue to wake up and get knocked out until I was sure he was gone. 
Past Me, before domestic abuse was bad: “Oh no, how do I write panic attacks? I’ve never had any before!”
Present Me, dead-eyed: “Oh, honey.” 
At least I now have a lotta content on panic attacks, though!!! EYYYY I’m taking my wins where I can get ‘em lmaooo
[Log 3]:  Fic’s Manifestation Properties (part 2)
So I’ve got further proof that this fic has some powers of manifestation
Past Me, panicked: “Oh no! Sena has a cat named Pitt in canon! But I don’t know how to write about cats! My family only owns dogs!”
And then BAM! The neighborhood stray cat gets killed by family’s dogs, leaving one kitten orphaned at my house.
BAM! My sibling and I pity the orphaned kitten so much that we adopt it, and start raising it as the sole house cat. 
BAM! Days later I realize: “Well, I guess I now know how cats behave. Wait — OHMYGOD, I can write about cats now!”
Like I am not saying the neighborhood cat’s death had a use, okay. That’s not what I’m saying. I loved that cat, and I grieved her. I wept for her, especially when her kitten called out for her at night. 
I’m just saying that when I start thinking, “Oh no, how do I write this?” 
Some coincidental shit happens
BONUS: Please don’t worry about the orphaned kitten. I’m taking care of her now! Her name is “King Eris” (because I thought she was male at first. The revelation of my mistake only came to me when, months later, I noticed she had a lack of a dick.) She loves headpats, playing, sunbathing on the roof, sleeping on my lap, torture, and murder. (The last two parts are about cockroaches. She plays with them in such a gruesome manner that the poor insects’ deaths are slow and painful.)
[Log 4]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: AFTG series
This fic is based on Nora Sakavic’s trilogy, “All For The Game” series. 
It’s a GAY novel series about sports, mafia, and a shitton of childhood trauma. 
It’s really worth the read if you love soul-crushing trauma from different kinds of childhood abuse, and the hope that stems from surviving your circumstances, and choosing each day to continue living anyway. 
This book is my go-to for references on school sports, sports training, healing, and a fuckton of traumatized, lovable kids. 
Because in this fic, that’s what Hiruma and Sena are, essentially: traumatized, lovable kids.
Sena’s mother Mihae is loosely based on one of AFTG’s badass characters: Renee Walker. 
The “Yes or No” moments of consent between Hiruma and Sena are actually inspired by the main couple in the AFTG series, Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard. 
[Log 5]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: TLT series
This fic is also based on Tamsyn Muir’s tetralogy, “The Locked Tomb” series. 
It’s about lesbian necromancers in space. It’s got a lot of religious symbolism (Christian), and it sometimes borders on the blasphemic, which I love. After all, my fic’s got a lotta blasphemy in it.
There is SO MUCH love and devotion in The Locked Tomb series, which is why I use it as a reference. 
The fic is, after all, tagged as “Homoerotic Devotion” (or at least, in AO3. In FF.Net, I have no such luck.) There are wholeass bucketloads of devotion in The Locked Tomb, and a lot of them are sure as hell homoerotic. 
[Log 6]:  Literary Works that Inspired the Fic’s Creation: TGCF series smut fics
I’ll be honest, y’all. This fic would not have existed if not for the smuttiest fics out there, about a god being reverently fucked by his worshipper. 
Let’s give a round of applause for the smut fics of Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiù’s webnovel series, “Heaven Official’s Blessing!”
Heaven Official’s Blessing is also called, “Tian Guan Ci Fu,” or  [天官赐福]. The English fandom just calls it “TGCF” for short.
Lemme quote someone for a quick second here, to summarize the story. 
“At its core, TGCF is a story about a fallen god and his last believer; it's a story about devotion, love, loss, longing, fate and destiny, and the meaning of ‘forever’ and ‘to believe'. sure, there are other things: friendship, loyalty, the price of power etc.”
So like, taking the love and devotion of the main couple, and put it in an equation where you add a very creative fandom. BAM! The result is a myriad of smut fics full of praise kinks, god kinks, and body worship. 
Of course, a lot of TGCF fics are inspired by Hozier’s songs as well.
So like, it got me thinking: “Damn, HiruSena doesn’t have that.”
And then my thought process gradually shifted to, “Well, why can’t the HiruSena fandom have that? I guess if I wanna see that shit, then I gotta make it.”
And thus, with the vision in mind of a HiruSena story, inspired by Hozier, homoerotic devotion, and a lotta god-worshipper dynamic going on, this fic was born.
[Log 7]:  Hozier Song Lyrics
One of the recent trends in the fandoms I’ve traversed so far is this: Fics inspired by Hozier lyrics.
Lemme quote a review of Hozier’s music for a hot second, ok
“Each of [Hozier’s] songs are modern versions of traditional folklore that contain stories of love, tragedy, and hope, while also conveying strong political messages. Hozier has a way of delineating life's problems and purpose with beautiful poetry and turning it into songs that resonate with a piece of our soul.”
Like, Hozier’s lyrics are good. Like, really well-written. Even if you’re not a fan of his music—which I genuinely respect, don’t worry—you’ll find that when you read the lyrics of his songs, they really are “chef’s kiss” kinda good. 
Hozier's such a good fit for HiruSena, considering the ongoing Devil theme that Hiruma's trying to portray. Since Hozier songs have a common theme of devotion in them, it makes us all wonder: "What if it's the guy called The Devil who shows devotion in another?" There's so much to explore in that! 
How can a person as broken as The Devil, love someone who is just as broken? How can these two people find heaven in each other? There's so much symbolism, so much potential!
So it kinda got me stumped that I didn’t see any English HiruSena fics with Hozier songs in them. I told my sibling, and they just stared at me and asked, “Well, why don’t you write one, then?”
And BAM! Here we are. 
I hope that somewhere out there, more HiruSena Hozier fics exist. Even if they’re not in English, just knowing they exist would be absolutely lovely. 
And I suppose, if no other HiruSena Hozier fics have been written before this one, then I hope this fic inspires other writers to make more. 
[Log 8]:  Questions
This fic explores the following questions:
"What if it's the guy called The Devil who shows devotion in another?"
"How will Hiruma act when he's being tender with someone?"
"What if Hiruma knows jackshit about romance? What if he's just as awkward, or possibly even more awkward than Sena when he bares his true vulnerable self?"
“Why was Kurita so insistent on playing Amefuto, even back in middle school?”
[Answered in CH. 1]: “Why would Sena join a team when Hiruma recruited him through underhanded means?”
“Why does Hiruma act like an asshole all the time, when it seems as if there's no reason to do so?”
"What does it take for Mamori to go apeshit?"
"Will Sena use the knife his godmother Yoshiko gave him? What is his breaking point? Will the knife remain unused forever? What is the one thing that will drive Sena over the edge?"
Y’all can disregard this particular log tbh. I just put it here so I can keep track of all the questions I want the fic to answer. 
Also LMAO, me saying, “This fic explores the following questions,” as if it’s a goddamn thesis hhhhhh
[Log 9]:  Dedication
I honestly hope that I can reach out to people with similar trauma thru this fic. 
One of the things that helped me persevere through my hardships was: "Character A got through this! Maybe I can too!" And that's what I'm trying to do to in this fic too. 
Whether HiruSena romance scenes dominate, or whether the Hozier lyrics or the memes are more memorable, the true core of this fic is trauma.
This fic is for everyone out there who survived abuse, the people who hold wreckages inside their chests instead of hearts. 
This fic is for the people who clung to Sena's character and loved him, purely because they too were getting bullied. 
This fic is for the people who flinch, for the people who wished they were as powerful as Canon Hiruma. 
This fic is for the people who wake up, and have to talk themselves into getting up from bed each day, instead of giving up. 
This fic is for each and every warrior out there, who has to live normally even after the world did its best to break them.
This fic is for all you survivors out there. 
[Log 10]:  Hiruma crying in Chapter 2
So like, on one hand, I’m glad Hiruma’s released all his years of pent-up grief through crying. Because keeping that all inside is unhealthy and damaging
And it’s actually quite heartbreaking that the thing that actually does manage to set him off is a video of his mother cradling him close to her, when he was but an infant 
But like
Let’s be real with each other for a hot second, okay
Hiruma just fucking cried to the “I want to see my little boy! Here he comes!” vine LMAOOOO
[Log 11]:  The Backstory & Trauma of Kobayakawa Shuuma (Sena’s Dad)
Shuuma’s trauma is actually based on my own trauma, or one aspect of it at least
And that’s trauma caused by having a verbally and emotionally abusive mother.
So don’t worry about the accuracy of trauma representation here, bros, bcs some parts are based on a trueass story.
[Stay tuned, bcs there are definitely a lot more logs to come!]
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teamnamehuddle · 2 years
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mauvefayette6 · 2 years
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Taking Care of a Pet Together!
Charlie Dalton: Cat
Charlie was always insistent that he wasn't a cat person, he swore he disliked them so much. That's until you found a small kitten in a box on your way home from work and as a true cat person you took her in. You absolutely could NOT leave the poor kitten by herself. Charlie would be the one to do the absolute most for her. She couldn't get down from a bookcase? Don't worry Charlie to the rescue. She wanted specific treats? Charlie was already at the pet store for them.
Chris Noel: Dog
Chris wasn't the biggest fan of dogs, she grew up mostly with cats. You on the other hand loved dogs and would do anything for your dogs. Chris went over to dog sit with you while your parents were away and absolutely fell in love with the dogs. She even planned to adopt a dog once you two were done taking care of the little one.
Gerard Pitts: Bunnies (2)
Gerard and you wanted to adopt and raise an animal together. You two weren’t sure which one but then decided a bunny would be the best fit for you two. Considering your schedules for school and work are packed. Taking care of two bunnies was hard, they need attention constantly. But you two made it, the bunnies were sweethearts.
Knox Overstreet: Parrot
Knox always wanted a parrot because he’d see them on TV. But you as a huge animal lover wanted to educate Knox on birds and parrots first. After the long and heavily researched explanation about their diets, grooming and bird cages and activity you two felt ready to get one. He loved his parrot and fed him and took care of him like a child
Neil Perry: Cat
You were never a fan of animals, you didn’t like taking care of them. But Neil really wanted a cat or a dog or anything. He never grew up with pets because of how strict and mean his dad was. So you agreed to have a cat because they were sort of low maintenance. You quickly fell in love with the absolute beauty of a cat Neil chose.
Richard Cameron: Snake
Cameron didn’t like snakes, in fact he was sort of afraid of them. You on the other hand were a huge fan and admirer of snakes. You grew up reading and constantly learning about snakes and what they eat. Getting a snake took lots of convincing and preparations. In the end Cameron relaxed to the snake and learned that it wasn’t going to eat him in his sleep.
Steven Meeks: Rat
You weren’t so sure why you and Meeks chose to get a rat of all things. They have a short life span and you weren’t so sure about it. But Meeks convinced you that it wouldn’t be awful to get one. With research and preparation you got the small fat rat. He mostly took care of the baby while you bought all the necessary stuff for him.
Todd Anderson: Chinchilla
Ever since Todd was a small kid he wanted a chinchilla. He always thought of them as beautiful and adorable. When you two get one it was much harder then expected. With the food and what food and the taking car of it. He was a good Chinchilla dad though.
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Enemies to lovers with JJ Maybank: Insults edition
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Oh to be that blunt
Listen y'all, because I don't think I'm ever gonna release the fic, here are some "clever" insults and nicknames to use for your JJ Maybank fics, use them wisely, and please tag me to read what y'all do with them because I'm sure you guys would come up with really good shit, also if you do use them please just like or reblog this.
Anyway, here they are:
Dollar Tree's sad attempt of Brad Pitt
Oh my god, did you finally learn how to pole dance so I can call you stripper-tripper?
Failed launch of the limited edition stoner Ken that not even Barbie could love
How many JJ's does it take to screw a light bulb? Hmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw the whole island
Hophead is the only head you'll ever be good at
I see that your future won't be the only thing wasted
You know you actually have to be a good person to be spiderman? The inability to live without Mary Jane isn't the only thing that's required (he was gonna be dressed up as Spiderman in my fic so)
Leonardo Drinkaprio
Paul Wanker
Why are you working here anyways? Don't you charge for delivering STDs? Oh, wow, just when I thought I couldn't underestimate you more
You know, I always figured I'd see a rat on one of these boats eventually, but I never thought I'd see one who tried so hard to be a poorly made Chris Evans' Walmart version
Bitch please, I've seen the way you look at Pope, you're so gay for him you make Liberace look like he eats coochie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner (I ship JJPope so)
Besides raging closeted bisexual, impulsive, and horny himbo? What else did you put on your resumeé? Or did you just lie about having brain cells to make the cut?
I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse
Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing
You’ll never be the man your mother is, at least she had the balls to leave your dad
The only good thing that could come out of your mouth is your tongue into everyone's ass
I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
If I wanted a bitch, I’d have bought a dog
Shit happens, I mean… look at your face
I’d bet it took you a whole week to come up with that one
I thought this was a wit war, but I see you've come unarmed
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your father’s job
Do you smell that? I- I think is the stink of your mediocrity
If you want to be a smartass, you have to be smart. Otherwise, you’re just an ass
Anyways, hope you guys like them, love y'all
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msookyspooky · 3 years
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  Sequels Suck
Part 4
word count: 3,450
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"So, what? You're telling me Billy and Stu got resurrected like the freakin Night of the Living Dead?" 
You threw your hands into your lap as you leaned forward on the fountain. "Damn it, Ray! I don't know! I just know that I know who I saw in that hallway." 
Randy gave you an exasperated look. "YN...Billy wasn't exactly the most unique looking guy. He looked like Johnny Depp; Just a greasy fucking rat version." 
You paused mid rant and raised your brows. Remembering the jealousy towards Billy with Sidney. Now most likely it transferred to plain out hatred...You could understand. 
"Randy, he had the scar." 
"Okay, so you hallucinated! It happens." He got up to pace and cringed, cluching his leg with one hand on his upper thigh and releasing. 
You felt guilty about that. Almost forgetting what you did to him. "...Does it hurt you?" 
He hummed, seeming to not hear you before waving it off. "Huh?-...Oh, no. I'm fine." You tilted your head and gave him a look. He huffed with a slight forced smile. "YN, I'm fine. Seriously. " 
"I never apologized for that...I really am sorry." 
He shrugged and wouldn't look at you. "...It's fine." 
You hesitated, frowning deeply before standing up to look him in the eyes. He blinked at you as you stared at him intently. "Randy...You know I thought I was doing the right thing... Right?" 
He sighed and pursed his lips, looking away for a moment before looking back at you. "I know...I know, I just-...If you had it all over to do again, what would you do differently?" 
You gave him a sad look. "I wouldn't have kept it from you. I wouldn't have tried protecting them. I would have risked telling my best friend's." 
He sighed and looked down at the ground. You nudged his hand with your own as he slowly glanced back up at you. 
"Randy, I know I fucked up. I know it everyday that I remember them or you...That guilt is for life. That's why I'm telling you this right now. You and only you. I know our relationship isn't exactly besties but...You're all I've got." 
He gave a humorless smirk and huffed, looking away. Walking over to the stone wall overlooking the yard as you followed him. He gripped the stone, shoulders tight as gazed at all the people walking on campus. "Oh really? I doubt that. You seem pretty popular already. You got accepted into the Zeta list and they have their eyes on you within what? 2 Days? 3?...You made Drama club AND you got casted as the leading role with Windsor's very own Brad Pitt wannabe." 
You raised your brows at him with a smirk as he tried so hard not to look at you. "Brad Pitt's a stretch-" 
"You know what I mean." He turned back around to lean his back against the stone wall. Folding his arms and practically pouting. 
"Randy." He glanced back at you as you gave him a sad smile and leaned next to him on the wall. "I lost our friendship once. Okay? It was hell without you. 2 Years of dealing with this and not a single person I called a friend in my life. I don't want to lose it again over people I barely know. What happened to us in Woodsboro connected us for life…" You smiled despite the dark subject. Humor had become your  savior in times like this." I mean, look around. We both ended up going to the same college far, far away by coincidence… I mean, what is this? Some cringey chick flick about friendship?" 
He rolled his eyes and you gave him a serious look. "Randy, please." He faltered and slowly looked over at you. You smiled softly at him. "It's you and me. Whether you like it or not. You're stuck with my ass." 
He huffed and smirked, looking up at the sky with a small smile as you wagged your brows and nudged his shoulder. He finally cracked with a laugh before shaking his head with groan. "Urgh...I guess it could be worse." 
You smiled at him but he dropped his own smile before giving you an earnest look. Truly looking at you for the first time since you both started this conversation. "YN, I am here for you and I'm glad you told me but there is just no freakin way. Billy Loomis and Stu Macher died in that fire." 
"Ray-" 
He gently turned you both, grabbing your shoulder to look at him. "YN...They are dead. It couldn't have been him." 
You bit your lip, fear creeping up in you. "Randy, I got a call." 
He released your shoulders and walked around you to listen while pacing. "So? I get dumbass calls at least once a week. You can't tell me you didn't these last two years." 
"Duh, of course! But this was different...Randy, would you stop pacing and look at me!"  
He groaned. "Listen, that nerve gives me grief if I don't move it. "
"Fine but...They were watching me. On stage. There was a maximum of like 5 people there but whoever called quoted the play word for word. They knew I got casted as Cassandra. I only told you and Halie." 
Randy raised a brow. "...Well it's obvious someone in that room has a grudge or they're just an asshole." 
"But the only ones were Mickey, Derek-" You paused as he raised his brows at you with a head tilt. You scoffed. "Oh, Randy don't-" 
He threw his hands up in defense. "I'm just saying, he's awful chummy with you so soon...Who the flying fuck doesn't know who you are after all the news coverage? I call bull." 
"Randy, I just can't see it. What would be the motive?" 
"I don't know. Local asshole wants to get attention from his frat bros by hurting the final girl as a cruel joke." He looked away with a sigh. On the defense.
You smiled at him sadly, trying not to frown at the idea. "Randy, I appreciate the concern but I can't see it." 
You glared at you. "YN, use your head! He-" 
He was cut short as someone jumped out from the bushes and you and him both flinched. Mickey snickered and stood next to Randy as Derek followed behind him. Derek called out. "Sorry, I tried to tell him no!" 
Randy chewed his inner cheek as Derek went straight to you. Mickey grinned at Randy as he side eyed him. 
"YN, are you coming to rehearsal tonight?" Derek asked, leaning next to you on the brick half wall behind you. 
"I don't know...I uh, I've been getting a lot of pranks recently. It's making me uneasy." 
He looked concerned. "What? Why?" 
You sighed. "That stupid Stab movie coming out." 
Mickey chimed in. "Oh hell yeah, that looks like a blast." 
"Yeah, it was a barrel of laughs living through it." 
Mickey smirked at Randy. "You're just sore that they have Joey Garfield playing you." 
Randy mumbled to himself. "Joey fucking Garfield are you kidding me?" 
Derek directed your attention back to him. "You know we won't let anything bad happen to you right? I definitely won't." 
You smiled bashfully, looking away. "Derek, you barely know me." 
"I know...Maybe I want to know you more? After rehearsal, do you want to get a coffee?" 
You hesitated just a moment before he tilted his head and gave you that charming smile. "If you don't want to, I understand." 
"No, we can. Before rehearsal." 
He grinned broadly at you as Randy's mouth hung open and Mickey chuckled to himself with an amused gleam in his eyes. Derek nodded. "Yeah...Yeah, cool! I guess I'll meet you after your last class?" 
"Sure. Don't be late." 
He pushed himself off the wall and walked away waving before doing a fist bump to the air right in front of you on purpose. You snorted to yourself and grabbed your bag. "I'll catch you later, Ray. Maybe you should come by after rehearsal? You might like it." 
You walked away as Randy sneered. "And watch pretty boy slobbering all over you? No thanks." He mumbled low enough you couldn't hear it. He glared at Mickey as he rested his elbow on his shoulder just to annoy him.
"...What?" 
"Gotta man up there, lil guy. Maybe if you asked her and stopped being such a pussy, you'd get the girl for once." Mickey ruffled his hair with a smirk before he started walking away. Randy gaped at him before chasing after him and ranting. 
"FUUUCCCKKK yooouuuu. I do not feel that way about-" 
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your acting's worse than Derek's and that's saying something." 
——————————————————————
You went through all your classes, Halie teased you about your coffee date with Derek. You tried convincing her it wasn't a date and she laughed to herself and replied with. "Okay. Whatever you say. Mm hm." To every response. You gave up eventually.
You truly didn't know why you were so infatuated so soon, it wasn't like you. You surmised it was the fact a guy seemed so genuinely into you without a motive. Then there was what Halie said about Randy and Tatum and Sidney's teasing years ago. 
'Nooo...Randy literally got so defensive in the car going to Stu's party over it. Besides, he liked Sid. Tat and Sid were just being teen girls and Halie just doesn't get it. Woodsboro Family for life, I guess.' You thought as the bell rang and there was Derek leaning in the doorway. He looked at you as you smiled to yourself and got your things. A few girls looked confused or insulted that he was there for you. Most ignored it or gave each other grins and giggled. You tried keeping the tint of your cheeks at bay as you both walked down the hall. 
You made small talk as he walked you to the coffee shop. Opening the door for you and pulling out your chair. He asked if you had any allergies to which you replied with a confused smirk. He ordered for you. "I hope you don't mind. I used to work part time here before Drama Club and I know the secret menu. Aaaaaaand I'll pay whether you think it tastes like heaven or like steamy sewage water." 
You smiled as he returned with your cup. "Not at all. What made you get into the Drama Club anyway?" 
He gave you a lopsided grin as he sat down. "Why? Don't I seem like the type?" 
"Not at all. You seem like the star football player in High School that stuffed theater kids in lockers." 
"Ouch. I'm going to be a Doctor, YN." 
"Doctor's can be assholes." 
He chuckled and shrugged. "True...Honestly, for credits. And Mickey begged me." 
You laughed under your breath. "So the truth comes out. I was right." 
"I never stuffed anyone in a locker." 
You raised a brow over your cup. He cringed. "I just...May have made fun of them...Sometimes. I swear, I'm not like that now." 
You smiled. "It's alright. None of us are the kids we were in High School." 
He leaned forward with his elbows on the table. "Okay, so what type of kid were you?" 
You told him the basics before the inevitable came up. "- Tatum and Sidney took me in basically. Tatum was a lot like Halie or Cici, only more carefree. I always wanted to be as carefree as her. And Sid...God, she was the rock of the group. After she passed...Things were never the same between me and Randy. We're trying but it's not easy." You sighed and rang your fingers behind your ear. "Sorry, I didn't mean to dunk on you." 
He gave you a warm smile, resting his chin in his hand. "No, it's okay. They sound like they were really great girls to hang out with...How did they end up with such-" 
You stopped him. "Because they weren't. Believe it or not, I was very good friends with both Stu and Billy. Stu was a complete goofball. The boy could never be serious. He was the life of the party. He makes Mickey's humor look like amateur hour...Don't tell Mickey I said that." 
Derek zipped his lips with an O-kay hand sign. You continued, hands resting on the table and a frown tracing your lips. "And Billy was always so quiet and loyal. He was that guy, ya know? The one to beat anyones ass for hurting you. If Sid was the Mom of the group then he was like the Dad or older brother constantly looking out for everyone...At least, that's what I thought. I guess I'm a bad judge of character." You frowned deeply.
He gently reached over to hold your hand. You blushed and allowed it. "Hey, don't ever damn yourself for trying to see the best in people. That is a really good trait to have...I'm sorry you went through that." 
You smiled shyly at him, ducking your head to reply. "It's okay, thanks…" 
He released your hand. "I hope you don't mind if this is boring but I didn't want to take you somewhere with noise." 
You felt a ping in your chest as your eyebrows turned up. "You...You seriously thought of that for me?" 
He nodded. "Yes. YN, I know we barely know each other but I want to know you more. I don't know, I just…" He chuckled and looked down. "It's so stupid." 
"No, go on." 
He looked back up at you, blue eyes twinkling under the light. "...That I felt drawn to you and I really want to know as much as I can about you. If that's okay. After everything you went through, I get it if you're not interested." 
You smiled, feeling butterflies in your stomach at how sweet he was being to you. You hadn't had a boy be this kind to you since Stu or this endearing since Billy. The idea made your smile fade. You realized why you were so attracted to Derek at that moment...He had the charm and attentiveness of Billy but the sweetness and goofiness of Stu. The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. Coupled with the fact he didn't seem too interested in your fame and it was no wonder you were falling hard and fast. Did you genuinely like this too perfect of a guy? Or were you just after a replacement for the good qualities of Stu and Billy you missed?
'Maybe you're that damaged that you can't like a guy being too nice to you? You went from James to Billy & Stu...Derek is too perfect...Way too perfect...Almost fake perfect.' What Randy said filtered through your mind and it made you sick to think about.
"YN?" Derek softly asked, frowning at the expression you must have been making. He self consciously nodded to himself and sighed, going to get up. "I'm sorry I...Must have misread the situation. I didn't mean to make this awkward." 
You reached out, gripping his hand to make him sit back down as he stared at you. You swallowed and rolled your lips before speaking. "...Did you call me last night?" 
"What?" 
"Answer the question. If you're only doing all this for a sick joke then you're going to have to do better than this." 
He raised his brows to his hairline with a bewildered grin. "WHAT?" 
You glared at him, wrenching your hand from his. "This isn't funny, Derek. I don't know what type of asshole you were in Highschool but I dealt with 3 abusive pieces of shit before I was even 20 and have been stalked, humiliated, yelled at and treated like shit for 2 years. So if you think some prank with your Omega Kappa Brothers or whatever the fuck you call yourselves is going to be a huge laugh; you're in for a rude fucking awakening." You realized how pissed you were getting as he held out a hand with a shake of his head.
"Woah, woah, woah! You think this is a prank?" 
You stared at him as he furiously shook his head. "YN, I know you've been through a lot but do you actually think I would do that? I swear to you, I'm not that kind of person." 
You stared at him skeptically as he held out a hand. "YN...I swear to you. Do you need me to ask every brother of mine? Do you want to ask Cici or Halie? Do you want to tell the Dean to watch me because you can if you want... I really like you. I would never do that to anyone, let alone you. Besides, I could have my entire careers tarnished from something like that. I wouldn't blame them either. A Doctor being that heartless doesn't deserve to be one...You wouldn't deserve that either." 
Your mouth parted and you blinked repeatedly. He watched you intently as you swallowed and felt red hot embarrassment go through you.
'Wow...You really are broken. You can't even have a guy be interested in you without thinking he secretly has bad intentions. You just ruined a great date with a guy for no reason.'
You blinked away tears as you saw the genuine surprise on his face, his brows shooting up and staring at you as went to get up. "I...I'm sorry. I gotta go-" 
He quickly stood up and grabbed a hold of you. You turned to look at him as he gave you a pleading stare. "Please don't. You didn't do anything wrong….Did I?" 
You flinched when he went to touch your face and he slowly took his hand away. "I'm sorry. I just want to let you know that you have every right to be skeptical. I promise, I don't have any bad intentions towards you." 
You froze, eyes searching his expression for something. Anything. Only to see nothing but genuine concern. You sighed heavily and nodded. "It's okay but I'm scared you're barking up the wrong tree here...I'm not exactly in a place in my life for casual dating or hook ups." 
"I understand. Do you want me to walk with you to rehearsal or did I majorly blow it?" 
You couldn't help smiling and shaking your head, subtly wiping your one eye to keep a stray tear from falling. "Ooh, no. No, you didn't blow it." You hesitated before biting the bullet and reaching out to hold his hand like he had yours earlier. "Derek, I really appreciate the effort. Maybe that's why I'm so skeptical? I'm not used to someone being so kind to me without there being some type of motive. Especially a guy." 
He tilted his head and gave you a tender smile that made your stomach flip and your chest flutter. "Then maybe I need to step up my game and show you that there are still good people in the world." 
You scoffed and turned away but he gently brought your attention back to him. "YN, you deserve friends. I can tell how distant you are from people. I'm really glad you're joining theater. Maybe that standing ovation is going to get it through your head that you're allowed to live life." 
You swore you felt your lip wobble into a smile as you stared up at him. Right there in the coffee shop. Not caring who saw. You glanced at his lips and his blue eyes that became hooded. Staring down at you intently. You leaned up, not even thinking before someone said your name.
"Uh, is there a YN here?" Some guy called out from the bar.
You turned to him. "Yeah?" 
"Phone call." He motioned to the phone on the counter of the shop. You squinted your eyes and looked at Derek before excusing yourself to answer. You picked it up and saw it didn't have a line. Most phones didn't anymore. The guy nodded towards a hallway to the women's bathroom as you side stepped into it.
"Hello?" You leaned against the wall. Waiting before you heard the voice.
"What's your favorite scary movie?"
"Who is this?"
"Billy...Miss me, YN?"
You almost fell for it but soon heard snickering. You glanced over at a group of guys in a booth laughing with a large cellphone up to their ear. White hot rage came over you. You instantly walked over phone still in hand as they saw you, hiding the voice modulator with smirks on their faces.
"Do you think this is funny?...Huh?...Do you seriously think this is funny?" You demanded, any shyness towards assholes went out the window after years of this harassment none stop.
"No Ma'me! Not at all..." One guy mocked before they all burst out laughing. You lost your temper and threw the phone, hitting one of them right in the face. His face fell and he stood up. You kept yourself planted. Fist fighting 2 murderers for your life gave you a huge complex and a back bone. If you can survive that, you could survive some frat boy.
Derek rushed over. "Hey, back off Trent! What the hell do you all think you're doing?!"
You jerked your eyes towards him, realizing they all had the same fraternity symbol on their jackets or necklaces.
Derek looked panicked, reaching out to you only for you to back away. The boys ooohed at that.
"YN, I had no idea these assholes would do this! I didn't even know they would be here!"
You shook your head and sneered at him. "...Tell Mr. Gold I'm not coming to rehearsal tonight." You marched out with your head held high as you heard Derek call out to you before verbally laying into his fraternity brothers. You didn't look back. Too hurt and angry to care.
'I actually let my guard down. Almost kissed him...How can I know for sure whether he was involved or not? I can't! I hate this. I hate being the final girl...It should have been Sid.'
You rushed past crowds on campus. Going to your dorm to vent Halie when someone bumped into you...No...Rammed into you. Their shoulder knocked you off a step. You went to say something but your voice caught in your throat.
He was tall, fluffy bleached blonde hair with dirty blonde roots, tons of piercings and a very edgy look. That wasn't what caught you so off guard. You looked at him and you swore on everything you knew him. He side eyed you, a smirk played at his lips...And then he stuck his tongue out with a grin as he walked by you in the crowd.
You whipped around, fear in your eyes to search only for him to dissappear in the sea of students making their way to their dorms. You frantically looked around before you saw something sticking to your arm. You pulled the sticky note off and covered your mouth, hand trembling as a shaky breath escaped you.
'Karma is a bitch, sweetcheeks.'
You ran. Not stopping, gripping the note as you rushed to the one person you knew would understand. The only one you trusted here. Truly trusted. You ran to where you thought he would be and didn't look back.
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nautilusopus · 3 years
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tbh the 2001 version of ocean's eleven is better than the rat pack version (and ocean's 8 too from what i've heard don't @ me) but the dumb subplot with tess is easily the weakest part of it
they could've cut the tess thing and lost absolutely nothing and the movie would've functioned the same, except for maybe the metaphor about the lose half the money or try to keep all of it and lose all of it thing. which wasn't really a terribly strong or compelling theme anyway so
but like julia roberts is acting so goddamn hard and there's just nothing for her to actually do. like never mind the fact that danny's plan to win her back is fucking stupid because that is just not how people act??? like no one in their right mind is gonna go "oh well my current husband is a piece of shit so i guess i'll go back to my ex, who went out of my way to show me what a piece of shit he was while robbing him (which is the reason i broke up with him to begin with because it kind of ruined my life) because our relationship was just that loving prior to the being arrested thing and the movie keeps vaguely alluding to that, even though we never actually see that at any point at all."
like, even in a wish-fulfillment movie, the idea that she'd take him back because of all this stuff is batshit moon logic at best. except then she does. the problem is, a movie like ocean's eleven is already purely style over substance in the biggest way possible, and i mean this as a positive. it is extremely stylish and it is there to BE stylish. it has nothing deep to say to you, but it wasn't trying to do that anyway. it's a popcorn movie, and it is here to show you some people stealing things in a really fucking cool way. the director even outright admits this in an interview, claiming he set out to make "just a pure piece of entertainment" and i think he fucking nailed it, and i especially love shit that knows what it wants to do at the outset and then does it without fucking around and with a high degree of competence. this movie knew what it wanted to do and then set out to be the best version of itself it could possibly be and absolutely knocked all the goals it set out of the park
this is especially important given that it's still not a brainless movie despite being a turn-your-brain-off movie; it's a heist movie. there are a lot of moving parts, and that shit is very hard to do well without it feeling dumb and contrived (just look at ocean's 12). knowing how much to show the audience so they can follow what's going on/the reveal is hard! knowing what to hide so there can still be an air of uncertainty around the plan is hard! maintaining suspension of disbelief for a movie that specifically is calling attention to logical inconsistencies, meaning it has to keep its narrative even more tightly wound than normal, is hard! all these things are difficult, and ocean's eleven does all these things really, really goddamn well. it is genuinely a brilliant piece of filmmaking. (maybe i will get into how at a later date but for now i want to encourage you to watch it yourself by bitching about it shhhh don't question me. all i'll say is that brad pitt was actually fucking spot-on casting.)
tess is a fucking lamp, though, and her existence only serves to detract from the experience. i am only this mad about her because the rest of the movie is so good otherwise (hell, even her individual one-on-one scenes with danny, all fucking two of them, are well-acted and well-written), so it REALLY sticks out how awkward it is as a whole package.
and i know why they put the damn thing in, they needed an emotional core of some sort to the movie s it wasn't completely fucking shallow, because even in a popcorn flick there has to be something for the audience to care about. but like..................................... the heist crew is right there
like a huge chunk of the dialogue in ocean's eleven (mostly the banter, which is again one of the strongest parts of the movie) is ad-libbed. the cast all have excellent chemistry with one another and play off each other extremely naturally, and all the time in behind the scenes footage all anyone talks about is how genuinely well everyone got along, to the point where they'd just hang out on set with each other instead of going back to their trailers between shoots. and you're obviously invested in the heist, which in turn helps you get invested in the crew, and the actors work well together. and the sharp banter is the other reason besides the heist that you're watching the movie anyway and just
why not make THAT the emotional core of the movie why not build on that? it's right fucking there
why does nobody see these things
did they really think they needed a romance to sell this thing THAT BAD when the core cast already had such great chemistry. not to mention like a solid third of the movie is just danny and rusty exchanging Knowing Looks between one another and i absolutely buy them as friends that go way back a lot more easily than i buy danny and tess as a couple that were truly happy with each other a long time ago, in part due to them actually fucking getting screentime together. c'mon man
that isn't to say I think a Danny/Rusty romance subplot would improve the movie or is anything i particularly want to see, but the point is that the main cast already has a lot of chemistry together that is in turn written INTO the script already and they could've just worked with that lkdflhsdkslhhgssg.
or like, if you must have tess, maybe you could actually incorporate her into the heist properly beyond Existing as a weird mafia cuck subplot? this is actually something i think ocean's twelve did do right (just a shame about the heist in question but whatever, credit where it's due). as mentioned, roberts's perfornance isn't bad either and she also plays off clooney well in the brief fucking moments they're onscreen together.
i dunno. i feel like there were better options than what we did get. the tess subplot is a black spot on an otherwise really fucking good experience.
......................................................and YES OKAY FINE obviously i'm fucking biased for wanting more found family crime squad nonsense but that doesn't meant i'm wrong either.
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Movie Review | Body Fever (Steckler, 1969)
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Like many a budding cinephile, I'd watched Ray Dennis Steckler's Rat Pfink a Boo Boo years ago thanks to its reputation as a great bad movie, and mostly enjoyed it at that level. Certainly, the story about how the title resulted from a mistake that couldn't be corrected due to budgetary restrictions helped play into that perception. Alas, I later learned that Steckler made up that story, which made it harder in retrospect to enjoy it as a "bad" movie. And certainly there's one line, in which Rat Pfink reveals his one weakness, which never squared with the perception of Steckler as an oblivious incompetent. When the Important Cinema Club podcast did an episode on Steckler (one of their best, in my humble opinion), he came back onto my radar, leading me to believe that I'd perhaps misjudged him. When I watched The Lemon Grove Kids Meet the Monsters yesterday, my memories of Rat Pfink's shagginess came back to me (aided by the presence of Rat Pfink, leading lady Carolyn Brandt, and a man in a gorilla suit), but I also was completely taken with its sense of community cheer and unbridled energy, where the joy behind the camera can't help but liven up what's in front of it.
Body Fever is not quite as infectious as Lemon Grove Kids, but I found myself pretty partial to its meager charms as well. It's a darker movie, one which I understand anticipated the slashers and hardcore porn that made up Steckler's later career, and perhaps reflected a diminished optimism at the end of the '60s. As glib as it would be to cite the Manson murders as an inspiration (given that the plot only involves missing drugs), you can see similarities between this movie's late '60s California atmosphere and Quentin Tarantino's channeling of the same in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. It also shares with that movie a languorous sense of pacing, which is definitely more of an issue here given the noir plot and the fact that Steckler is nowhere near the craftsman as Tarantino, but it's probably unfair to compare given the widely divergent finances at their disposal, respectively. But you also get the sense that Steckler isn't terribly interested in tying up his noir plot all that tightly, but would rather use the tropes for atmosphere. Steckler was apparently an admirer of Jean-Luc Godard, and you can see a similar kind of play-acting here as the movie shuffles through its story. "The only thing is I feel like I'm the movie, and somebody's watching me", remarks Steckler, playing the hero. (Another character tells him early on: "You don't look like a detective to me. I've seen movies.") There's a scene where Steckler's character and Carolyn Brandt, his wife at the time, play catch with a briefcase full of heroin. Does this scene advance the plot in any way? Not really, but you can see how much fun they're having doing this scene together. You can also see Godard's influence in the colour scheme, although the fact that I watched an overly dark, muddy transfer in the wrong aspect ratio limited by appreciation of the film's visual qualities.
I think one of the biggest shifts in mindset involved to appreciating low budget movies (as actual good movies, not things to mock) is to understand how a film's production circumstances colour the final product. With a big studio movie, you can throw money at the problem and craft mise-en-scene to suit the story. With smaller budgets, it can work the other way around, sometimes to interesting results. Steckler's movie, shot most likely without permits, is set in locations that feel like L.A.'s b-sides, more disreputable versions of the city's better known imagery, and the fact that the movie is populated by fairly marginal cinema figures adds to that quality. Gary Kent, who was an inspiration for the Brad Pitt character in the Tarantino movie, plays one of the heavies while Coleman Francis, director of The Beast of Yucca Flats, appears as a destitute friend of Steckler's character. At one point, Steckler has to fight Kent and fares a bit better than Bruce Lee did in Tarantino's movie. Does this mean that the director of Rat Pfink a Boo Boo, or even Rat Pfink himself, could beat Bruce Lee? I'm sure there's a Brucesploitation movie that provides an answer. In comparison, Francis's role manages to be even a little moving. Steckler apparently came up with the part after finding Francis destitute and drunk. Francis used his advance to buy a new suit, a shave and a haircut, and arrived on set clean, sober and ready to work. Nobody will accuse Francis of being a great actor (or a great director, given that his movie was featured in Mystery Science Theater 3000; full disclosure, I've watched neither the movie nor the episode), but there's a quiet dignity to his work here.
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So I watched Interview with the Vampire for the first time
I watched Interview with a Vampire for the first time just now and here are my thoughts, in the order I thought them. The movie is like two hours long and I had a LOT of thoughts but the movie’s on hulu so if you watch it, maybe read along idk
Christian Slater looks like Logan Lerman send tweet
Brad Pitt isn't that hot ngl
What's with Vampires and the confederacy?
I mean really. Twilight, Vampire Dairies, Beautiful Creatures and now this
Ngl, flying while drinking someone's blood is pretty gay
This whole movie so far is pretty gay
They're boyfriends, I've decided it
Okay maybe Brad Pitt was kinda hot
Tom Crusie is still creepy tho
All this seems pretty tame so far, idk why it's rated R
"Now look with your vampire eyes." Stephenie Meyer wishes she wrote this line
"I'll be waiting for you." G A Y
Are they in France?
Oh no he has a conscience 
Tom Cruise being the best vampire boyfriend and killing the victim for his vampire boyfriend 
It's important to note that i have no idea what these characters' names are
Literally, I don't think they've been said
Did he just- is he eating a rat?
Oh, they're in Louisiana
Lestat, what a funny name
I need some blood, Lestat
Read her mind? really? The more pre-twilight vampire stuff I see the less impressed I become with Stephenie Meyer’s concepts
What's that thing on his thumb?
You may be old enough to be his grandmother, murderous old lady, but his vampire boyfriend is more than old enough to be yours
"Life without me would be even more unbearable" I said it before and I’ll say it again: GAY
Brad Pitt really said let's go to KFC
Wow they're really trying to convince us that Vampire Brad Pitt was nice to his slaves and really cared about them. Disgusting
Oh, his name is Louis
Maybe Tom Cruise is cute
Still creepy tho
Okay, NOW they're in France
Is he-is he eating her boob!?
Yes! He drank her blood from her boob!
I get why it's R now
"So I'm sitting there with blood on my titties"
I love Louis's hair, such volume
The coffee table is a coffin, how smart
There is a lot of drinking of rats in this movie
Oh, the plague, how relatable 
Awww, Baby Kirsten Dunst
More rats, yay
He made her a vampire?
She's like 9. Imagine never aging past nine
Oh, it's a knife ring. How cool
Wow Claudia really likes the test of vamp blood. It's not like Lestat doesn't deserve it
Wow, she becomes a vampire and her hair is instantly curled
How nice, he's poking a hole in the nanny-juice box for her
"Our little daughter." G A Y
I appreciate this gay vampire dad content
I love how she kills every man who pisses her off. Good for her
"I want to be her." Poor baby
Claudia is fighting back. So much rage in such a small body
Oh my god her hair. It just grows back. Dear god
She cut him. Good for her
Oh no
"Louis my love" oh no oh no oh no
If this movie is going where i think it is imma turn it off
Oh wait nvm
She just wants to leave
Thank god
"Is that supposed to scare me?" This kid is I C O N I C
Lestat is a Le-Jerk
Did she kill him?
She did, she did kill him. He deserved it tho
"He belongs with those reptiles." Claudia is a savage
This is such a violent and brutal break up
Also: this movie is L O N G
Oh no, the plague, again
At least Claudia gets to go to a ball, and the opera
I don't know who this other vampire is but i sense that he's an asshole
He's so odd. But i guess you do what you gotta do to say entertained
You could say his eternal life literally drove him up the wall
Oh! The dad from spy kids
He has a card, how classy
I love how no one questions that Louis takes a kid out in high society 
"A vampire pretending to be a human pretending to be a vampire." " How avant garde" this kid!
Oh my god that isn't an actress. Its an actual victum
There he is! The dad from spy kids!
They really killed her in front of all those people. Theatre these days, amirite?
How cute, they have little coffin cubbies
See Louis, every vampire has a kid
Oh wait no
He's not a vampire kid, he's an actual child that they just feed on
Vampire dad-from-spy-kids really said fuck your morality
Why does Claudia call Louis beloved. It creeps me out
It's illegal to kill another vampire. Damn
It's illegal to make a young vampire, as it should be
That being said, Lestat told them none of this!
Ofc, Louis has made yet another vampire fall in love with him. Good for him
"You...are...beautiful, my friend." G A Y
Lestat was really everyone's asshole ex, wasn't he?
Oh no! Claudia wants a friend
She's guilt tripping him. Good for her
Oh wow, he actually did it
Oh wait he didn't 
Oh no, he lost his humanity 
Why is she gonna kiss him
Oh good the vampire police are here to stop it
I mean: oh no! Not the vampire kid!
Armand! Do something! Save your vampire love interest!
More coffins, great
Louis's punishment is giving me "Cask of armillio” vibes 
Oh shit, the dungeons has no ceiling to the sky, she's gonna burn
Poor Claudia
Oh, and also Madeline i guess
Yes Armond! Free him!
Louis for vampire dad of the year
Oh no...they're ash
Poor Louis
"So vampires can cry" See Smeyer! See!
Is that...oil?
Oh yes, yes it is. And he's covering everything with it
LOUIS REALLY SAID ALL YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER, PREPARE TO DIE
wheres armund tho
Oh no the sun
There he is! There's Armund!
And the blood boy
Oh shit, Louis is maaddd
"But the world was a tomb to me." Damn
More rats. Great.
"The scent of death...an old death." Lestat? Is that you?
It is Lestat!
He looks like shit
Has he been sitting there since the late 1700s?
"But all my passion went with her golden hair." Still unclear if he loves her as a daughter or as something else...very creepy
Proof that this movie is gay: the framing device takes place in SF
Oh shit. It's Lestat
He's gonna kill the interviewer 
Damn Lestat is salty
Oh wait, he's gonna turn him
In conclusion
All vampire content is, on some level, gay, whether intentional or not. This movie is definitely not the exception.
This movie is L O N G
the plot is kinda unclear. It’s very character driven (?)
Edward should have made Bella watch this movie in order to convince her not to be a vampire
Even though Jane is originally a brunette in the books, she’s esentially just Claudia
I started watching this movie thinking Tom Crusie and Brad Pitt are just kinda creepy middle aged dudes. It’s nice to know they were kinda cute back in the day. Still creepy tho
For some reason, I thought this was the movie where the little girl says “I see dead people”
It isn’t, in case anyone is wondering
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Mmmm Liam thots? 👀
Rarely makes plans with you more than a day or two in advance bc he never knows when he’s going to get called out on a job
Every single thing in his apartment has A Place and A Reason for that Place and heaven help you if you fuck with it.
(Along those same lines do not let him at your place or all of your things will be cleaned and reorganized to within an inch of their lives)
Neat freak. And clean freak. You could perform surgery on any surface of his place.
Reads a lot. Loves historical fiction, surprisingly. Especially Patrick O’Brian’s novels. Also loves the Dirk Pitt novels that Clive Cussler writes
Not a cuddler. Does not appreciate it. Will do so until you go to sleep bc it’s easier just to go along but knows the second you drop off and lets go to put adequate space between you.
Quiet. Not much of a talker, doesn’t brag at all, never talks about his job. But an excellent listener. Can glean almost every single detail of a story you tell him after the first telling and will remember all of those stupid details for MONTHS.
Loves it when you rub his head with his short short hair
Hates dogs, hates cats, hates fish and birds and rabbits. But has two pet rats named Newbury and Hobbes.
Drinks his coffee black with three sugars and if he has to drink tea his preference is Lady Grey with milk and an OBSCENE amount of sugar
Doesn’t like to drink plain water unless there’s ice in it
Doesn’t eat fast food and gives you A Look when you come home smelling like Burger King
Loves kissing you. Honestly could do it for hours and he’s GOOD at it
You watched him pop his own shoulder back into its socket once and it was so disgusting and so fucking cool at the same time you were too busy processing those emotions to remember to throw up. He shrugged it off. THAT was terrifying.
Will matter of factly tell you the story behind each and every scar on his body. You quickly realize that you don’t actually want to know some of them so stop asking after a while. Bc while he will never bring up the topic of his work by himself he won’t lie to you about it if you ask a direct question either.
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movienotesbyzawmer · 4 years
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
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Once Upon a Time in Hollywood (2019)
I mostly like Quentin Tarantino's movies, but when I saw this in the theater I considered it one of his worst. But I still liked some stuff about it. I liked the thick atmosphere of late-sixties Los Angeles, and I liked Leonardo DiCaprio's character's arc & his performance, and I liked some of the playful touches, even though some of them feel indulgent. "Indulgence" is a big concern when it comes to evaluating QT's movies. Sometimes his indulgences are charming and sometimes not so much. I'm kind of hoping a second viewing will make me like this movie a bit more. Okay, here goes…
Vintage Columbia logo. That kind of thing always works well on me.
First five minutes or so are cinematic in a familiar way, not much to note. But at about 0:06:15 there's a jarring little interruption where a narrator tells us LD just lied. The only moment of narration at all.
Then Al Pacino is reflecting on some of the movies he's been watching, and we see some clips. They look kind of vintage, but also kind of Tarantino-y. Like, that scene where LD torches Nazis doesn't actually look like it could be from the 60s.
"Bounty Law! Starring Rick Dalton!" Then a cut to a dorky TV musical sketch. Kind of funny. Not subtle. I love that announcer voice that says "Bounty Law!"
One thing that often works well in QT movies is when he has an actor deliver, and savor delivering, a weighty minute or so of dialogue that really sets up a situation. Think Christopher Walken's monologue in Pulp Fiction or the first scene with Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds. This AP conversation where he talks to LD about where to take his career is like a mini version of one of those but doesn't last as long.
0:15:10 - First really nice period shot of LA. Very nice to look at.
I think the intended audience for this movie knows details about the Manson murders that most moviegoers don't actually know. For example, the ominous close-up of the sign for Cielo Drive. I don't think it's a mistake; I think he's knowingly alienating some viewers so he can give a better experience to those who do know about them. So I can't imagine recommending this movie without also strongly suggesting studying the Manson murders first.
Brad Pitt speeds down a boulevard in West Hollywood, a filming location which has been very lovingly decorated in the style of the period. The production design of this movie was rightly heralded.
Sequence with BP in his trailer making dinner for himself and his dog. Vivid; at one point they cut to a closeup of a pinup poster. Doesn't seem to be a reason for that except for "I'm Quentin Tarantino and I do whatever I feel like". Indulgent, is what I'm saying.
Also indulgent is this minute we're spending watching Roman Polanski drive to this party at the Playboy mansion.
I don't remember noticing this before, but that's Damian Lewis playing Steve McQueen and that's kind of perfect.
Scene where Kurt Russell is telling LD that BP has a creepy vibe and killed his wife, then we cut abruptly to apparently a scene of BP having a mundane argument with his wife maybe… okay, leaves the audience wanting more info, but maybe in kind of an irritating way.
Now this scene with Bruce Lee holding forth. Bruce Lee probably didn't generally speak in arrogant, bullying Quentin Tarantino monologues. Entertaining scene though.
But the left-me-wanting conversation from the previous scene helps this scene with Bruce Lee be more tense. Also the not-ringing-true snottiness of Bruce Lee makes it funny how that fight goes down.
0:52:30 - Okay, LD is in costume as a bad guy on a show, and he's got the long hippy hair that was spoken of in the AP scene. Just saying, I like that it was described and now we're seeing what I'd pictured.
And now this memorable conversation between LD and the little girl actress. The kid acts so grown up. This could have failed because of course no eight year old talks like this girl. But this scene is awesome. And without movies by QT, there aren't scenes like this.
Now Margot Robbie. We've seen her in a few scenes so far as Sharon Tate, but she's only been depicted as a dancing starlet bopping around town. For those of us that know she's a Manson victim, it works in a certain way. But does it work otherwise?
Okay, this is a peculiar part of the movie, it's pretty fun but kind of insider-y. LD is talking about being in the running for Steve McQueen's role in The Great Escape, and they edit in some outstanding CGI scenes of LD in the actual movie of The Great Escape. Playful, but just a weird bit of color…
…but then here's this next scene where MR, playing Sharon Tate, happens upon a cinema playing a movie she's in, and after a leisurely-paced interaction with the cinema workers, she goes in and watches the movie. Unlike the CGI trickery demonstrated in the last scene with LD, we watch actual Sharon Tate on screen. MR is visibly delighted to see "herself", and to hear the audience reacting to her performance. It all works, maybe more in spite of than because of QT's ever-present choice-broadcasting (which is also why we get a good look at MR's feet in this scene).
This is followed immediately by the sequence of the TV show LD is shooting. More playful indulgence. We see the scene edited as it probably would have been edited in 1969, but shot with modern cinematography, and interrupted by LD calling for his line, then backing up and redoing some of the scene. Can it be justified beyond just the undeniable fact that it's pretty interesting? Maybe that's enough. Maybe I'm being a snob, but also, what, was I not supposed to acknowledge it at least?
Stuff now starting with BP picking up Margaret Qualley's dirty hippy flirty cultist character. Before she even has any lines, the screen is practically bulging from the force of MQ's personality. It's entertaining.
1:28:30 - More of the TV show. We get to see LD's character be a good actor, and impress the director and the kid actor, which touches him, it's nice.
It's an hour and 38 minutes into the movie, and now we're to the scene on Spahn's Movie Ranch. I'm already thinking that by now we should be deeper into some kind of story than we are, and now this scene that I remember vividly. Not totally in a bad way, but for all the good things about it, it is stretched way out. Suspense is built up, skillfully, but without the kind of payoff we'd probably like. I mean, it's like a horror movie, with the rat squirming in the trap and the tense music and the "HE MAY BE TIRED" line from Dakota Fanning, but then it's back to not being a horror movie….
…in fact, it's on to this charismatic-tough-guy scene that feels Pulp-Fiction-y. Our MINDS are BLOWN that he hit the guy so hard and made the cultists so mad, it's a fantasy come to life, but just in a movie!!! This stuff is long, but not THAT boring, but maybe it could have been a little less boring, plus more relevant to later events.
LD and BP are now watching an episode of a show he'd done. Way more violent than TV shows probably were in 1969. They like watching his little "heavy" role and chuckling about it.
Then a SIX MONTHS LATER card, and some narration for the first time since that little jokey bit in the beginning. Also jokey is the fact that this new section is narrated, VERY narrated, and is the fact that Kurt Russell is the narrator also jokey?
2:02:50 - "…going back to Missouri." LD's character is from Missouri? With that accent? Is this also an in-joke?
The aforementioned narration persists for a long time. Seems gratuitous. QT was clearly like "We'll do the first two hours of the picture without a narrator, and then suddenly there will be a whole bunch of stupid narration hahahahahahaha! No one else would do that!!! That's reason enough for me to do it!!!!"
Finale is going on now with the Manson cultist killer people approaching the house. If you know what really happened, you're freaking out. But if you know what really happened and you already know how this movie changes that story… it's entertaining. What I'm saying is that it's funny this second time through, without the worry about seeing what really transpired.
"And you were on a horsie!" "Nah something dumber than that" Hahaha BP is super funny in this scene.
Dang, the dog just mutilates Tex, and it's funny!
He violences that woman very very very much, it's nuts, kind of funny but so disturbing.
LD flamethrowers that girl in the pool. She's in the pool. But still dies from being on fire. /shrug
We never did get the whole story about BP killing his wife.
The last scene, MR talks to LD, inviting him up for a friendly drink with her friends. It ends with us thinking how nice it would be if she and her friends hadn't been the victims of a cruel slaughter just moments earlier. That's not a bad way to end a movie. But it's a long movie, and I'll say this again: indulgent. You might not feel that in on the jokes, and even if you do, you might not have as much time for them as this movie requires.
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