#rather than ads and robot gibberish

[senselessconjuration]

Where’s that post that’s like:

The spectrum isn’t

People who dress all in pink<—————> people who dress all in black

It is

People who dress all in one color <—————> people who do not do that

[spice-chan]

A Christmas Present

Hitoshi Shinsou x reader

It’s time for Shinsou to get his feelings across, what better time then Christmas, the day of blessings and magic ?

Soulmate au, coffee shop au.

Word count: 3200

This is written for the secret santa event, for @what-the-censored-xd I hope you enjoy this and merry Christmas!!

warnings - misunderstandings and a teeny bit of angst

.....................................................

A soulmate. A gift all the quirky individuals of this world have been gifted with. 

With a mark on your wrist indicating who the individual is, the circumstances, perhaps the time. It’s pretty ambiguous, and the thought of missing the fated person is an ever present fear on most people’s mind. At least yours. 

It’s rather plain, sweet, but plain. Easy to be overshadowed by the more gaudy, exquisite, or creative soul marks. It's a dark brown, a darker shade than the earth, but lighter than a macchiato, and its heart shaped. A tiny heart, like the one that often adorns the textbook of bored teens who opted to doodle in class. Still, looking at it never failed to bring a smile to your face. 

It’s almost as if you have a premonition that it’s going to bring you something magical. 

With those thoughts in mind, you entered the coffee shop, the red ribboned bell at the door making a semi loud jingling sound that alerted the workers of your presence, causing smiles to plaster across their faces. Some looked easy, as real and carefree as breathing, some looking more stiff, almost unnatural on the beholders face. However, one stood out in particular. 

Purple, and appearing like cotton candy in softness, hair, with equally gorgeous lavender eyes that sported bluish semi circles underneath. And a face devoid of a smile, his lips set in a straight line. Bored, uninterested, even sad. 

“What would you like to order ?” You were startled for a second, taken aback when his lips parted for his monotone tone to slip out from between the cracks. Your cheeks felt hot, realising that you’d walked all the way to the cashier without realising. 

“Latte, please. With cream on top. Thanks” You replied nonchalantly, pretending that you weren’t ogling him. You definitely weren’t. 

He hummed, his lavender eyes zeroing in on you, making you gulp nervously. Is he ok ?

“Umm..” you cringed nervously. His eyes widened a fraction, and if you weren’t mistaken, a red hue tinted his cheeks. He nervously started putting in your order, his fingers shaking a fraction while his heart thudded in excitement. Your words rang in his head, but instead of the usual robotic monotony that usually accompanied them, they were laced with your unique, bashful voice, accentuated with your embarrassed, cute face. 

“Latte, with cream on top ?” He asked again, as if consciousness only streamed back to him. Holy shit he thought. He should ask for your number. 

He should, the words formulated in his head, made the movements of his fingers slower, they went to the tip of his tongue- 

“That’ll be 2.99, thank you for your purchase.” 

But he did nothing. 

His shoulders deflated, the movement noticeable to the perceptive eye, especially when he saw your figure move away and take a seat on one of the tables while he prepared your drink. His hand instinctively went to tangle in his soft purple locks, however, the stupid christmas hat he was forced to wear prevented him from doing even that. Frustration towards himself willed up in his chest, the feeling akin to a burn that refused to go away. 

It’s fine. You’re not gone yet. He still has time. 

Those were the thoughts he kept repeating in his head as he prepared your latte, the words on his wrist feeling tingly, as if stroked by the softest of feathers. 

All too soon, he finished and had to call out your drink, anticipation coursing through him. He saw you stand up, bright eyes seeking him out, only to abruptly look away upon finding his gaze rooted on you. 

He grabbed the cup, intent on handing it to you, but his fingers shook at the last second when your pretty gaze met his, and he nearly spilt the drink, but he saw a droplet escape, landing on your sleeve. He didn’t comment on it, he didn’t have the chance to. 

“Are you ok ?” You questioned him, you didn’t think he was the ditzy type, then again you don’t really know him. But even this knowledge didn’t stop the concern for the handsome stranger to bubble through you. Caring about him felt as natural as breathing. 

“Yeah. Sorry about that.” His previously monotone voice seemed just a bit more breathy, just a bit more deep, but enough to have you swooning even more then before. 

You smiled at him- and gosh wasn’t it the prettiest sight he’d see— and grabbed your drink from his seemingly clumsy hands and settled back on your table. If only the turmoil within his heart could be settled as well. 

………...…

You walked out, the bell once again jingling, but this time to signal your exit. The taste of the best latte that ever graced your mouth was still present on your tongue, the remnants reminding you of the handsome stranger who made it. 

You goofily smiled, happiness gushing out of you without rhyme or reason, however, when your hand went to cover your mouth, you saw it. A coffee stain on your white shirt. A heart shaped, coffee stain where your soul mark is. 

.……………

The bell jingled, signaling your arrival once again. It’s been a habit that you made to frequent the coffee shop at least three times a week, in hopes of seeing your soulmate. 

On instinct, your eyes sought the lackadaisical male, and they were blessed, for you saw him, in the same place as usual, sporting the Christmas hat that he always seems to have on. The hat that failed to do hide the soft purple locks that your hand ached to run through- 

“Latte ? With cream on top ?” 

“Yes” you should be flattered that he memorised your order, but then again, you have been coming here more then a devout Catholic frequents the church. You really just hoped he’d say something else. Everytime. 

He should know you’re his soulmate, shouldn’t he ? 

“That’ll be 2.99” Maybe he just doesn’t want you. 

“Thank you.” 

Dammit. Shinsou thought. Disappointment filled his chest when he saw your downtrodden face move away and sit at your regular table, leaving him to his own devices. It’s been about a month since he’s met you. A month since he discovered who his soulmate is. A month since you began to frequent the place he works at. A month since he failed to act on it. 

The aroma of coffee that surrounded him, while aromatic, filled him with an innate sense of bitterness as he acknowledged his cowardice. No amount of pep talk could get him to ask for your number, and everyday, he felt you slip further and further away from him. 

Coward. He repeated that over and over in his head as he added the whipped cream and called out your order . 

You’re going to be alone forever.

A few seconds pass by while he stared scornfully at the wall, ticking by painfully slowly, or so he thought, until he realised a few minutes had flown and you hadn’t come to take your drink. 

He glanced towards your table, eyebrows furrowed in concern. However, what met him didn’t manage to ease this. 

A purple eyed guy sat on your table, a shade lighter than Shinso’s, but enough to make him seem more livelier at a glance. His hair was golden and slicked, giving the stereotypical facade of a prince charming. He held your delicate palm in his own, even his hand played into the princely impression he gave off, not incredibly massive and impossibly smooth-even more so than your own. Shinsou hated him already. 

Shinsou lowered his head, his hair covering his eyes slightly, perhaps to shield him from this wretched sight. Is this what he gets from not acting sooner ? Are you on a date with him ? Oh God, he hopes not. But his hair couldn’t protect him from the blood curling sight of the jerk bringing your hand up to his crooked lips and lying a kiss on them. 

Shinso looked at you this time, and he can’t tell relief from happiness as both emotions flowed predominantly in his chest at the sight of your indignant features. Your lips were pulled down, the frown not taking a tiny ounce of your beauty, and you pulled your hand away from him. 

That’s when Shinsou decided that no, it’s not too late to act. It’s not too late to try to be the one who sits opposite to you in cafes, the one who can hold your hands and shower them with kisses, and the one who brings a smile to your face. Just as he was always meant to be. 

He grabbed your still steaming latte, walking up to your table calmly, nothing in his relaxed posture indicated the turmoil happening within him. 

“Monoma, I told you, I’m not going anywhere with you. Not again.” Shinsou heard you utter now that he was closer to your table, and the jer-Monoma, didn’t seem deterred in the slightest.

“Come on, (y/n). Let’s try this again-“ 

Shinsou halted him in his speech, putting your drink in front of you loudly enough to overpower the absolute gibberish spewing out of Monoma’s mouth. After doing do, he grabbed the hand that was previously held captive in Monoma’s own, and brought it up to his lips, lying a lingering kiss on it that had your face feeling warmer and heart palpitating at the turn of events. Shinsou fleetingly  glanced towards Monoma, and found all traces of self assurance wiped out. 

“Is he bothering you kitten ?” Asked Shinsou, kissing your forehead, making any cohesive response cooking in your brain a victim to burning, no, charring. 

“Um-uh, no ? It’s fine…” kitten ?! What the-did he just ? 

Why ? 

That question resonated in your head, among all the scattered thoughts and chaos. Because the soulmate that you thought didn’t want you was suddenly here, ‘rescuing’ you, calling you kitten and kissing you as if that’s all he’s ever known. 

You didn’t realise that you zoned out until Monoma was calling your name. 

“(Y/n), is it true ?” He asked, sounding somewhat betrayed. 

“What ?” You seemed like such a ditz right right now. 

“Are you dating this gloomy guy ? I didn’t know you found a replacement so quick.” You’re dating who now ? 

“Yeah.” Monoma quirked an eyebrow at your response, unimpressed, distrustful. He got a hold of the drink that Shinsou obsessed over, worried that he wouldn’t impress you, and took a sip. A sip of the drink that Shinsou prepared especially for you, with your bright, eye crinkling smile in mind and sincere thank you. Now Shinsou was certain he hated him. All smug smiles and shitty attitude. 

Monoma remained silent for a moment. His eyes hard and steely, alternating between you and Shinsou, until they brightened once again, almost as if a veil that had previously been placed over them had been lifted. He smiled his princely smile, his teeth making a brief appearance to dazzle their beholders with their brightness. 

“I don’t believe you. And I won’t stop pursuing (y/n) .” Shinsou ground his teeth at the audacity. How dare this assh- 

“But, I will if you show up to my Christmas ball and convince me. I’ll leave it up to you as to how. I want you to remind me of every moment we had together and make it feel meaningless in comparison to what I’m seeing before me.” He maintained his crooked smile while he spoke, but reached out into his pant pocket and pulled out a card with a location on it. The card was of medium thickness too. Even that screamed rich. 

Shinsou wasn’t sure what the appropriate response should be, it could be a solid ‘no, we don’t need to prove anything’ or a solid ‘yes, I’ll show you that whatever you had with her was nothing more than elementary crushing. At least to her.’ Shinsou was flooded with so many opportunities, that for a moment, he forgot what situation he placed himself in. 

What is he proving ? He isn’t dating you. He was a coward who hid behind a cashier because he couldn’t acknowledge that the one meant for him was right in front of him. 

“Monoma. Leave, you’ve said enough.” Your voice shattered the fake amiability that somehow built in the atmosphere. Shinsou and Monoma glared at each other openly, one with more hostility than the other. If Shinsou looked in the mirror right now, chance is he wouldn't recognize himself. Monoma gave Shinsou one last meaningful look before standing up and taking his leave. 

He was shorter than Shinsou, and he grasped into the fleeting feel of superiority the knowledge gave him. He could probably squash him like a pest too. 

“What was that about ?” Your gaze was directed at him now, icy and expectant, Shinsou gulped, not having expected the sheer amount of seriousness pooling in your irises. 

“I saw how uncomfortable you looked, I just wanted to help you out.” You sighed at his answer. It was stupid of you to expect anything from him. Maybe you are wrong though. You held on to the fleeting hope, a thread to thin to keep you afloat. 

“You know I’m your soulmate, right ?” Shinsou nodded, guilt written across his face. 

“Yeah, the first thing you said to me is written on my wrist.” 

And the thread of hope snapped. It’s just as you thought. He knew before you, all those days that you came, desperate for his acknowledgment but to no avail and it was true. The dark thoughts that you tried to keep at bay festered, tangling together producing something ugly. 

You stood up abruptly, shocking Shinsou. 

“Thanks for trying to help. I think you only made things worse.” His face became ridden with guilt, he didn’t want to cause you inconvenience. He only ever wanted to help you out— but why didn’t he think this through ? 

“I’m sorry-I don’t know why I did this.” He was desperately trying to salvage this, knowing that the moment you left, you would be gone, for good, no more chances. 

“Yeah, I don’t know why either.” You hissed angry, grabbing your coat and leaving.

…..………………

Shinsou laid on his bed, face mushed against the pillows and eyes bloodshot. He single handedly messed up everything. Then again, he has a knack for doing that. 

It’s Christmas day, and Shinsou rejected all invites to dinners made by friends and family alike, opting to instead wallow in misery. He hasn’t seen you since that day. He probably lost you forever, and he didn’t even get the chance to properly get to know you. He glanced at his wrist, the sentence written on it something he fantasised about as a child many times. It’s what led him to working in a coffee shop, aside from his love for coffee. He knew one day, his soulmate would come along, and say the re-enact the writing on his wrist, be the sugar to his bitter self. 

He finally stood up from his bed, stretching his weary limbs. It felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. His eyes caught the card Monojerk gave him though. 

His last chance to be with you…. 

………………

Shinsou stood at the entrance of the huge mansion that Monoma is the owner of, apparently. He’d been standing there for two hours, after coming an hour early to make sure he didn’t miss you in case you did come. People continuously flooded inside, their laughter and smiles a clear contrast to Shinsou’s straight face. 

All of it merged together, making a meaningless sound that didn’t resonate within Shinsou, the only thing he registered was the icy wind biting his skin-he opted out of wearing a coat, and the anxiety reigning within him, making his palms clammy despite the weather. He’s here to make things right. This is his last chance. He can feel it in his very bones. 

He only hopes you'll come. 

But all thoughts flew out of his head when his ears picked up the angelic sound of your laughter, surrounded by friends on either side of you, but they dulled in comparison to you, only side characters while you owned the spotlight. His heart thudded in his chest. 

He’ll make things right. 

………

Contradictory to what you thought, when your soulmate approached you, your friends didn’t tell him to shove it and to leave you alone. No, oh no, they pushed you towards him and patted him on the back with encouraging smiles. They really just want the best for you. You didn’t think your night would be playing out like this, but here you are, dancing with him. 

“Why are you here ?” You questioned, not irritated, but your shoulders were slumped as if you’d given up. 

“I’m here because I—I want to finally talk to you. Something I should have done the moment you spoke to me.” He answered, his deep voice ringing clearly in your ear despite the ruckus around you, sending tingles down your spine. You’d never heard such a calming voice. 

“And why didn’t you ? I came everyday, hoping you’d mention something. I guess I could’ve as well but, when I discovered who you are to me, the moment was over and gone. But why didn’t you ?” Your emotions were pouring out, tumbling clumsily. You couldn’t get a hold of them. 

His hand felt warm on your waist, and you were enshrouded with his warmth, and even his virile scent made you feel safe. You wanted to be as nonchalant as he seemed to be, but you couldn’t, you could never when it comes to the mysterious man who’s so good at making lattes and making your heart pound. 

“I’m sorry. I wanted to. Every single time you came. But I don’t know. I guess I was scared. When I saw you, you always seemed to be glowing, as if you made the world your star while you shined like the sun. I knew I could never compare to that, and I knew you were too good for me. But, if there’s a chance that you’d have me, I’ll fight tooth and nail for it.” You listened intently to every word that came out of his mouth, shocked. You remained silent for a few seconds, not knowing how to respond to this newfound discovery. You ? Too good for him ? 

Instead of responding, however, you stilled your movement and grabbed  his face, bringing him down for a kiss, much to the shock of everyone around you and the man himself. It didn’t take long for Shinsou to respond, while everyone around who were rendered to side characters. 

Shinsou doesn’t really need presents, entertainment, or food on Christmas, the biggest blessing is right here in his arms. It’s all he could ever ask for. 

…………

Bonus

Monoma looked on, scrunching his face in disgust at seeing his ex kiss the gloomy bastard. He had wanted to talk to you since you came in, but everytime he tried to approach you, someone would come to him and distract him. And well, it was in his nature to revel in attention and adoration. He was surprised that you didn’t run back to him, but he could see it now. Monoma had never seen you do something so bold with so many people around, but love does bring you to new heights.

[matt0044]

“Cool, cool, coolio.”

If that’s not Zayto’s victory catchphrase, we are officially lesser as a species.

We start with our opening titles upgraded to have all five Rangers present and accounted for. There wasn’t even a cold opening so you know that it’s that kind of episode. I personally would’ve left out Izzy and Javier’s faces if only to keep some kind of surprise while featuring the new Black and Green Rangers in suit.

Void Knight’s been busy creating his new general out of robotic parts, bringing us the very “creatively named” Boomtower who needs the Nephrite Orb as a means of powering up. Mucus also returns to Area 62 with a new Sporix named Draknarok. I like how the villains are a motley crew under a lone knight’s command in a rather dingy hideout. It’s like with Evox forces but more... ragtag.

Zayto comes to BuzzBlast for to apply for a job as one of their reporters and trying out catchphrases to fit in with the modern day. Amelia and Ollie urging him to not even was exactly what I was thinking. It’s the sort of “out of touch” alien shenanigans I feel they missed out on with Brody way back in Ninja Steel.

Amelia and Ollie meet Javi playing his harmonica as our future Black Ranger turns out to be the artsy one of the team. He and Zayto are given assignments by Jane to assess their skills. Javi gets the Nephrite Orb story while Zayto’s assigned to get the scoop on Izzy Garcia as a athletic protege You know it’s Power Rangers if you don’t need thirty years experience for an entry level job.

Thus we meet our first genderbent Ranger in years at the local sports field practicing her javelin throws. Zayto is reminded of his Knighthood training and even gives Izzy pointers on how to improve her trajectory. I think having her as a well-built athlete works in favor with her Ranger form being... less than dainty.

Javi is getting dirt on the Nephrite Orb when Mucus, Boomtower and Draknarok zap on it. Mucus even goes, “...and scream!” as if she’s the director. Heck, she even sits by the sidelines in battles just to enjoy the show rather than retreat. Javi rings up the Ranger Hotline and interrupts Zayto’s interview with Izzy sadly.

Warden Garcia, in his infinite wisdom, rolls up in his dinky station wagon and tries to stop the villains in their tracks. It sadly slipped his mind that he’s not allowed any sidearm in a TV-Y7 show so he ends up flat on his back. Methinks he should apply for SPD with that gumption. They could do with a Gold Ranger.

The Rangers arrive on the scene to battle in original footage that’s honestly pretty damn good with how better the choreography’s improved. They each utilize the Boost Keys in a strategic takedown while Javi grabs the Nephrite Orb and drives off in Warden Garcia’s station wagon. Mucus gets all slimy and sticks to the car. Though “It’s Morphin’ Slime” should’ve work as well as it does.

The Rangers get Warden Garcia to a medical center before J-Borg comes along as BuzzBlast’s live news coverage. In this age of Social Media, who am I to question? Jane works the teleprompter only to mess it up by spilling her coffee all over the keyboard. Credit for being a hands on boss. I feel like J-Borg would’ve been funnier if she spoke out all the gibberish with a real straight face.

Izzy rushes over to her stepfather after he’s discharged and learns that her brother, Javi, is hiding out with the Nephrite Orb. She gives the Rangers a tip about a secret place her brother goes off to when he wants to play his music, something Warden Garcia’s no fan of. I sense a parent/child difference story. :P

Javi retreats into the forest but forgets about Mucus who gets Boomtower and Draknarok to teleport in. My favorite part has to be when Draknarok teleports once again to catch a running Javi rather than the one time they do it to enter and exit a battle. Thankfully, the Rangers arrive with Izzy to keep the orb away.

Javi decides to enter the fray by using his harmonica to deal an ear-piercing attack to the villains because... Sporix are sensitive to music apparently. He gets a far better idea by smashing the orb on a rock so nobody can use it. However, the jewel is revealed to contain the Green and Black Ranger keys that the Garcia siblings pick up as if by instinct before being instantly morphed.

And then comes the scene that droves me bonkers. Javi becomes the Black Ranger while Izzy becomes the Green Ranger... with a skirt. I thought that this meant they’d be digitally adding a skirt to the Ryusoulger footage for Green... but then Izzy rips it clean off because it’s “not really her thing.” They put in an explanation for why a female Ranger does not have a skirt while another does.

They top that showstopper of a scene with Izzy and Javi kicking major Hengemen butt. They even pull a Super Megaforce with her tossing him an extra saber to dual-wield with while she uses her javelin as a lance. Once again, this is a damn good Power Rangers exclusive battle. Izzy even uses some gymnastics to get the drop on Boomtower, sticking her spear in a tree.

“Vibing?! With a teenager?! No thanks!” So that’s why he’s called Boomtower.

Draknarok grows in time for all five to try out the Megazord together. It’s mostly Ryusoulger footage but once again, I’m loving how agile and less bulky the Megazord is currently. After getting another dormant Sporix, the Garcias are introduced to the command center and Solon as well as the prospect of new Zords. I hope the two of them can pilot their own Megazord as a duo ala RPM.

Javi gets the job at BuzzBlast with a new assignment to find the best burger in Pine Ridge for Jane. Hopefully, he gets a free meal for it. Meanwhile, our intrepid robotic reporter reenacts the infamous British “Play Safe” PSA complete with hair standing up. Again, I feel her shtick should be rolling with whatever mistakes she made since she’s a robot and thinks a bit more logically.

[xmxisxforxmaybe]

Decryption_Error: “Out of Reach”

Summary: Mr. Robot protects Elliot when Y/N pushes too hard; she’s left to wonder if she’ll ever see the man she fell in love with again.  

A/N: My tech lingo is gibberish—don’t @ me, tech peeps, unless you want to rewrite my dialogue because that would be super cool 🙃

Decryption_Error: All Chapters

Word Count: 4000

Tags: @sherlollydramoine​ @rami-malek-trash​​ @teamwolf2411 @limabein​ @txmel​​ @alottanothing​ @ouatlovr @backoftheroomandnotbelonging​ @moon-stars-soul​​ @free-rami​ @ramimedley​ @hopplessdreamer​ @sweet-charmie @polarcrystall​​ @hah0106​ @clumsybookworm18​

Warnings: ANGST, shouting, aggressive posturing and grabbing/hurting (let me know if I need to warn for anything else)

It was the second Monday of March which meant it was time for a monthly status report. This was one of the hundreds of meetings I attended in which I usually had a razor-sharp focus because this was the part of my job I missed. I missed having a direct role in operations, subverting attempts at data breaches, and working on scripts that would improve day to day operations.

I looked around the table and my eyes settled on the new Senior Manager, although I guess I couldn’t call him “new” anymore. Tim Millner-Brown had already weathered three anonymous hacks and managed to keep everything (and everyone) calm.

Since Dad retired in January and this was now considered a transitory time, it was all the more important operations ran without hiccups. I fixed my gaze on JaLeah, then switched to Ali as he began to speak about a new script to assess WiFi network vulnerabilities. As I listened, my mind flashed back to the meeting Colin and I had with Ali to reprimand him and a wave of disgust prickled through me. I swore to Elliot that his attackers would pay, but here was Ali, confident and happy, leading Elliot’s team.

Tim interrupted Ali, asking, “Why can’t a two-way handshake be enough? Less connections, less chance for an attack?”

Ali was quiet before he said, “Let’s get Alderson to explain. He’s leading the work on the new script.”

Jayne returned after a few moments, Elliot following her like he had been summoned into the principal’s office. He scanned the room, his eyes lingering on mine until I gave him a quick smile, reassuring him he was here to do what he did best.

Tim redirected his question to Elliot who thought for a moment before clarifying, “A three-way handshake is necessary to avoid half-connections. If one ISN changes their mind and doesn’t want to connect, the server doesn’t see the re-sent SYN so it thinks the ISN got its ACK and the connection was established, but it wasn’t—it won’t ever be closed. If we can cut the time it takes for the GTK to associate with a device, we can cut the time a hacker has to gain an access point.

“Without compromising data flow,” he added.

This was not the same Elliot who was ready to quit a year ago rather than give a presentation. I felt a swell of pride at how far he had come, the confidence he had gained. All he needed was someone to believe in him and to push him. And along with my swell of pride came a surge of anger as an image of Elliot, blacked out and bleeding in a broken server room, flashed through my mind.

“Tim, work with Elliot to determine how much time he needs, then work with Ali to find out how much that time will cost. I want a report by Wednesday. And if everything adds up, you can start on Friday—or should we make it Monday so as not to infringe on anyone’s weekend plans?”

My eyes never wavered from Ali’s face as I watched it pale, but from my peripheral vision, I could also see Elliot’s eyes widen. Then, Miles’ voice echoed through my mind on the day I was forced to appoint Ali as Colin’s replacement: You bet the house, and you lost.

But as long as I was in charge, Ali would know I’d never forget what he did. And in that moment, I wanted Elliot to know I hadn’t forgotten either. Never mind that the secret I was keeping from him was burning a hole in my stomach, pushing me to feel even more protective of Elliot than usual.

JaLeah smirked, but she played the placater better than anyone. She peppered Elliot with questions, then Tim dismissed everyone so he and I could go over his analytics.

“Thanks, Elliot,” I said, as he left the room, his lips turning up in a soft smile.

“The two of you are dating?” Tim asked as soon as the door shut.

I raised my eyebrow and turned to look at him.

“Yes?”

“So, it’s not against company policy to date someone you supervise?”

“Elliot and I were in a sort of unique circumstance. We signed a contract with HR, but I ended up being promoted almost immediately afterward, which eliminated the direct conflict.”

“Hmm,” Tim said as his fingers tapped on the folder in front of him.

“Why?”

“JaLeah is . . . well, she’s—”

“Say no more. Obviously I’m a proponent of shooting your shot in the workplace, but Elliot and I were sure to be super transparent about it. And that’s all the advice you’re getting from me. If you want to know if she’s interested, ask her.”

Tim smiled, and I felt like I saw him as a person for the first time instead of just as my replacement.

“And I would be happy to take over her evaluations in the event she is interested.”

Tim’s smile grew a bit wider and he thanked me, twice, before we dove into the data.

It was close to lunch time when Tim and I finished, so I sought out Elliot to see if he wanted to go out. As I walked toward his workstation, he was oblivious to the world, his eyes glued to the screen and his shoulders almost perfectly still despite the furious pace at which I knew his fingers were moving over the keyboard. A pang of guilt resurfaced for the thousandth time this month as I reminded myself I needed to make a decision about what I discovered.

Since I found the grand jury’s testimony, I had been conducting some “research” on my own. All 23 members of the jury, even the one who had voted not to indict, had been receiving the same amount of money for the past 13 years: 2,500 a month.

All 23 people claimed the money on their tax returns, but in 23 different ways—gas leases, oil leases, rental properties, gifts, renting their parking spot in the city, tips, bonuses, and on and on. It was clear someone had met with them and told them exactly how to keep this money under the radar. And if someone met with them to lay out the process for receiving money, then there had to be evidence of that meeting—or that person.

A part of me was dying to share this with Elliot, but another part of me was adamantly against it, afraid of what I would unleash within him if he was given the opportunity to pursue vengeance. My mind kept returning to who he was on the night of Dad’s party and wondering if I could trust that part of Elliot, that part who seemed ready to do something a lot more rash than scratch an itch or even just file a lawsuit. There was a part of Elliot, hell, there were still so many parts of him I didn’t know, didn’t understand.

What I did understand was that every time I looked at him, I felt guilty. And when Elliot’s eyes glanced up and noticed me, he stopped and smiled, a sweet, open grin and Miles’ words flickered through my mind again.

You bet the house, and you lost.

* * * * *

Time has a funny way of making decisions for you, especially if you’ve been riddled by indecision. Once enough time has passed, the control is going to be taken from you—the decision will be made for you, rather than by you.

By the end of March, something uncomfortable had settled between Elliot and me. He was growing distant, closed off, and I stopped working to maintain our open line of communication. The more guilty I felt about hiding the grand jury transcript, the less I wanted to see him. I knew I needed to tell him, but if I had found out about the juror payoffs, Elliot would be able to, and in half the time.

And everything could lead back to my father.

And something deep inside of me knew he knew—I didn’t know the how or the what, but I was certain he knew I was hiding something.

It was after 10:00 pm on a Thursday night when I got home from a dinner party, a business meeting disguised as a social gathering, something I never invited Elliot to anymore after his vitriolic rant.

I was more than surprised to find Elliot sitting on the floor near the balcony, the door open as a wet March wind blew in, smoking a cigarette as nearly half a pack of butts were already stubbed out in the ashtray I knew had been empty.

He was drinking a beer and he was clad entirely in black, topped off with his well-worn hoody, which was something I hadn’t seen on him in a long time.

His hood was up, probably to fight off the chill of the wind, but I wasn’t sure if the explanation was so simple tonight.

“Hey,” I said softly as I pushed the door shut behind me. “I told you I had a thing tonight, didn’t I?”

Elliot nodded yes, as his lips wrapped around the end of his cigarette.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, dread settling over me like a weighted blanket as I watched him take a long drag, the cherry flaring red in the dim light of my apartment.

I slid out of my coat and hung it up on the rack before reaching down to unzip my boots. As I kicked them off, I waited for Elliot to answer. I was tired and wanted nothing more than to change out of my clothes, maybe shower away the day, and go to bed.

Except the smarter part of me knew that wasn’t going to happen and filled me with a sudden desire to just  get this over with—just blow the lid off the box and let the scraps settle so we could get back to our normal.

But that would require fixing Elliot’s biggest flaw: his inability to move forward because he never really addressed the root of his problems.

I watched as he stubbed out his cigarette and tipped his beer back, finishing the last swallow.

I sighed in frustration.

“Either tell me what this,” I said as I gesticulated to and around him, “is all about or let me go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

“Where were you?”

I blinked, irritated because we just went over this.

“I told you where I was—at a dinner party. You know, those things I don’t invite you to anymore because you hate everyone?”

Elliot stood, reaching back to slide the balcony door shut. He didn’t take his hood down as he walked to the kitchen sink and rinsed out his bottle before setting it on the counter next to the others.

Chalk that up to something else out of character; Elliot never drank alone.

“You’re lying to me,” he said quietly, his back still turned.

“About the dinner?”

“No. Maybe? How am I supposed to know when you’re the one who’s always lying?”

“I can’t do this,” I said, running a shaky hand through my hair.

“You can’t do this?” Elliot said, his voice rising as he turned around. “You’re the one keeping things from me!” he shouted, his eyebrows raised, making his eyes look impossibly huge, and the cords on his neck standing out as he pointed his finger at me.

“How did you find out?” I asked quietly as I leaned on the counter, looking at the swirled pattern within the granite, unable to meet what was surely an intense gaze.

“I’ve been waiting, Y/N. Waiting for over a fucking month, wondering why you wanted to hide it from me. Wondering what else you decided not to tell me. Wondering if everything you have told me is just a way for you to manipulate me—”

My head shot up, my eyes finding his instantly as I asked, “Why would I want to manipulate you?”

Elliot didn’t answer; his eyes were dark, a stormy grey as they swirled with clouds of emotion. He felt betrayed, and I watched as his eyes settled on my tote that was sitting on the kitchen stool.

“You saw the transcript,” I said with a sad sigh. “You weren’t supposed to find out like that.”

I lowered my gaze back to the granite of the countertop, a strange relief pushing off that weighted blanket of dread. No more hiding. No more agonizing over whether to tell him.

The silence that followed my realization was dreadful, stretching out until my ears rang and my eyes blurred as I stared at the countertop.

“I can’t trust you anymore,” Elliot said, his voice cracking.

But that was the wrong thing to say. My nostrils flared as a thick, white-hot anger rose up in my throat like bile.

“You! You can’t trust me because I withheld something from you? Once! When have I ever done anything like this in our entire relationship?” I questioned, my voice bordering on shrill, so unlike my usual tone that it didn’t even sound like my own voice.

“You’ve broken promises.”

“When?”

“After the server room. You promised me ‘the fucking assholes’ would lose their jobs. And now one of them is my supervisor.”

I stared at Elliot dumbly until he dropped his gaze, leaning back onto the counter.

“We talked about that,” I said, my tone a few octaves closer to normal. “I offered to refuse to promote Ali. You told me things like that happen—it’s a part of the way to ‘enact change.’ You told me not to fight back against his promotion.”

“You promised,” Elliot mumbled, his knuckles growing white as his grip tightened on the countertop.

Once again, Elliot said the wrong thing. If this was all he could come up with, I was livid. Every thing he did that I had to work to let go of, to not make a big deal over, every hurt I had to swallow because I loved him, came rushing out.

“And how many promises have you broken to me? Fuck, Elliot! Not even promises. How many times have you bailed on me? Hacked me? Hurt me?

“No,” I scoffed, “You never meant to do it, but you fucking did do it. I have been so patient with you—”

“I’m not a child!” Elliot interrupted through clenched teeth.

“You’re pissed at me for something you told me to do!”

“I told you to withhold information about my dad’s death?”

“I needed time, Elliot. I needed to analyze the risk—”

“I’m not a piece of fucking data, Y/N! You can’t—” Elliot paused as he pushed off the counter and stepped toward the island. “You can’t analyze me. You can’t predict my next move or maybe that’s the problem? Maybe that’s what you’ve been doing all along? Manipulating me because you think you’re smarter than me.”

“That is not what I meant,” I said, my brows drawn and my mouth closing into a frown.

“You begged me to trust you and I knew—I fucking knew someone like you couldn’t be trusted!”

“Someone like me?” I shouted back, pushing away from the counter and marching around the island to stand in front of him. “Someone like ME? Surely you’re not going to throw Dad’s money in my face again. You’re starting to sound like a broken fucking record!

“You know what—no,” I said, shaking my head and turning away from him pacing to the balcony door before turning around and slowly walking back toward Elliot. “You don’t get to do this and get away with it this time. I can’t walk on eggshells while you get to be shitty to me whenever you have a bad time. Don’t you want to know why you’re like this? Don’t you want to know why you’re so paranoid, why you push away people who fucking love you? Don’t you want to know why you don’t trust anyone?”

I was a breath away from him as he began to withdrawal further and further into himself. And because I was watching his face, my eyes desperately pleading with him to see reason, I saw the change—Elliot looked away, seemingly in exasperation, and his eyelids fluttered so subtly that if I had blinked at that very moment, I would have missed it.  

When he looked back at me, Elliot Alderson was gone; now, I was met with the steel gaze of the same person who had demanded I leave Elliot alone as he sat on the floor of my closet during the Fourth of July.

I took a step back, my mouth dropping open as fear rushed through my body, my eyes filling with tears as I realized I was afraid of him—afraid of Elliot.

“You should be afraid, little girl,” he chuckled darkly, his voice low, the intonation different. “Now get the fuck out of here and leave him alone.”

“You’re—you’re in my apartment,” I stammered, still clinging to anger despite my fear.

He looked around, remembering, and he fixed a glare at me, his eyes unwelcoming as his jaw clenched, the muscles twitching before he moved toward the front door.

As I watched him walk away, my anger and fear turned to desperation. Darlene’s words rang through my mind, ‘If he bails on you, tries to push you away, it’s not really him.’”

It’s not really him.

“Stop—Elli—whoever you are! Please. Don’t go,” I pleaded. “Stay. Talk to me. Help me understand.”

He paused, his head turning to slightly look over his shoulder before he moved toward the front door again. I raced to it and wedged myself between him and the door, placing my hand over the knob.

“Stay,” I begged. “Don’t leave like this. After everything—please don’t leave us like this. I want to help you, Elliot—if you’re in there, come back to me.”

His hands flew up and slammed into the door on either side of my head.

I jumped, flinching as he leaned into me, his lips beside my ear as he growled, “I fucking warned you!”

“During the Fourth. I remember,” I whispered.

He pulled back and looked at me with those icy eyes.

“That was the first time you pushed too hard, came too close. I can’t allow you to do that, sweetheart. Elliot’s had enough time with you. It ends now,” he said as he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away from the door.

I grabbed his arm and he shook me off, but I grabbed him again and pulled him back enough to allow me to wedge myself against the door again.

“I told you,” he yelled, his voice harsh and unrecognizable. “I can’t protect him if you keep forcing him to open up!”

I didn’t let my fear stop me as I pressed him.

“Protect him from what? Did someone hurt him? I read about what can cause—”

His hand flew against my mouth with enough force to knock my head against the door. He pressed hard and cut off my words.

Never did his eyes leave mine as Elliot’s would have, especially in a situation of such discomfort and intense emotion. Never once did he look away.

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

I held his gaze, refusing to waver. He pressed harder, the pressure on the back of my head becoming a painful throbbing.

“Can you shut the fuck up?” he asked, his brows nearly reaching his hairline.

I watch his face transition to a look of smug satisfaction as I manage to slightly nod.

He released his grip, and I deflated, the fight leaving my body as I stepped away from the door. I leaned against the wall before slowly sinking to the floor.

I didn’t raise my eyes as I quietly asked, “Are you going to keep Elliot from seeing me again?”

He sighed, some of the fight leaving him, too.

“Elliot loves you—this wasn’t supposed to happen, Y/N.”

As he said my name, my head jerked up, the syllables so foreign on his tongue I knew, without a doubt, that whoever was standing in front of me was someone completely different than Elliot Alderson.

“You have to understand that it’s my job to keep him safe. Not yours, not Darlene’s. No one else’s. No one else can keep him safe.”

“What about a psychiatrist?”

“Don’t be fucking ridiculous. If they don’t fuck him up with 15 different kinds of meds, they’ll just throw him in an institution. Is that what you want? Elliot locked up like some kind of sick-o creep?”

“I would never let that happen.”

“Daddy’s money gonna buy Elliot a happy little place in the Adirondacks? Get him a nurse, someone nice to take care of him like his worthless mother never could?”

“Is that why you hate me? I have money? Or because I consider Elliot family?”

“My job is to protect him, and I’ve decided you’re not worth the risk, sweetheart.”

Without another glance, he opened the door and slammed it shut behind him.

I buried my head in my hands, the tears I had held back throughout the entire ordeal bursting out in a harsh sob. I crawled over to the door and locked it, pulling myself up by the knob in order to secure the deadbolt.

Not that it mattered since Elliot had a key.

Not that it mattered since Elliot was being held prisoner inside of his own body.

And no one, except himself, held that key.

* * * * *

Elliot didn’t come to work on the next day.

And then he didn’t come for another three days.

When I read the email from Ali questioning Elliot’s whereabouts, I wasn’t surprised. I called him up to my office and had the secretary shut the door after she let him in.

Ali had the good manners to look concerned, but I could detect the haughtiness underneath.

“I’ve noticed that Alderson’s been out for the past few days. Can you provide some insight? He was the lead on our new WiFi scripts, as I’m sure you remember.”

The lie came much easier than any other lie in my life had.

“He’s had a death in the family, Ali. I suggest postponing the project until he returns. Ask JaLeah for someone who can handle white hat duties if your team needs another hacker.”

Some of the haughtiness fell from Ali’s face.

“Oh. Well, my condolences to him when you see him.”

“Thank you. Will there be anything else?”

“Nope—you’ve always got the answers, boss.”

“Don’t call me that,” I said as I rolled my eyes and offered him a crooked smile in an attempt to subvert his attention from the abnormality of Elliot’s absences.

Ali grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

The partial smile fell from my face the instant the door shut behind Ali, and I felt sick as my mind worked over my lie. I didn’t live my life in the shadows. I lived with integrity.

And I had just told a boldfaced lie, one that would surely make its way around the office, and if Elliot never came back to work, everyone would know I lied for my boyfriend.

What a fucking mess.

I had to see him; I had to try to talk to my Elliot, the one I was in love with, and not this other who seemed to want nothing more than for me to fuck off for good.

I made a promise to Darlene not to let Elliot bail, and clearly, the Aldersons took promises made to them seriously.  

[mysticdoodles]

A very long thought post about Furbies, why some people are scared of them, and why we shouldn’t be

And ESPECIALLY Oddbody Furbies. This consists of primarily train of thought I had this morning in the bathroom, so bear with me here. Here’s my thoughts on why I think some people flip their shit over Furbies (in the NEGATIVE way), and why we shouldn’t. I can’t promise 100% accuracy of my information, these are just my musings using the limited knowledge I DO have and things I’ve experienced through my friend who owns an early generation Classic Furby. Putting this under a ReadMore because I have a lot to say.

Why Furbies used to really scare the SHIT out of people:

Furbies, when they came out, were a very new technology - in fact, the very first ‘domestic’ robot.

They not only listened and followed instructions via voice commands, but also had a rudimentary semblance of free will, and could refuse to comply with commands. At random, during interaction, they would make requests or say programmed phrases depending on ‘mood’ - aka how positive the overall interaction had been, which leads to the tailoring of a sort of ‘personality’. The ‘personality’ of the Furby was also influenced by which model of the series one possessed. Depending on the series and year of distribution, they can activate under conditions such as: voice activation, strong light changes, and location changes (like being moved from their original position). The infrared light sensor behind the eyes, used to detect the presence of other Furbies for interaction purposes, would elicit unique Furby-to-Furby responses compared to the standard phrases used in interaction between human owner and Furby bot. Furbies were programmed with their own unique language called Furbish, which they would speak exclusively in the beginning, but slowly integrated more and more English into their words as time passes in order to emulate growth. For years- and even now- Furby popularity boomed because of these traits. All of these are wonderful design choices for a robot that’s supposed to be a companion to children and replace having a pet, but here’s where the problem lies. This technology, in its youth, was buggy. It was quirky, in the ways that all new technology comes with. The light sensor was more powerful than expected, and could activate at very small changes of light, or even when facing the sun instead of another Furby. When the battery was low, the Furby’s cute and funny voice lines would come out as garbled electronic gibberish, as the machinery tried to operate with little power. Sometimes Furbies would activate, move and start talking due to small changes in the environment setting off the programming in ways we couldn’t possibly perceive- but the technology could, or bugged to think it did.

This seemingly random and nonsensical behavior led to many Furby owners or parents believing their fuzzy robot had become a vessel for demons, possessed and trying to summon Satan in their household. The common reaction at the time was for people to lock their Furbies into storage- or throw it in the trash. Some even burned their Furbies, attempting to purge the evil spirits they were convinced now resided in their beloved toy.

One of the important things to understand about why these bugs scared the everloving christ out of people, is that this occurred during the tail end of the generation where robots sounding human was unheard of and terrifying. A previous post I read months ago laid it out very nicely, about how our relationship with technology changes what we fear about it, and how its portrayed in media - especially the technological horror genre. At the time, robots sounding human felt like a lie meant to make us complacent, only for the robotic nature to reassert itself and reveal that, no, it wasn’t human, and didn’t care about its creators, but for its own perpetuation. Or, even more common, that the robots involved deemed humans to be too flawed to have any chance of survival because our flaws would lead to our destruction, and thus the robots take it into their metal hands to do it for us as a ‘mercy’. It wasn’t until recent years that this idea shifted, and the more popular concept in tech horror became that a robot COULD be human, but still be Other enough to not be.

Furbies fell prey to the former idea- that these robots aren’t inherently human, but something else trying to emulate being human. Such a sentient behavior attributed to them is what led to the idea that Furbies are possessed by sentient evils, such as demons and malevolent spirits. The random instances of activation and talking, low-battery electronic gibberish, and combinations of both, only contributed to this, as it often happened at inconvenient times - or even just in moments sufficient to startle Furby owners.

Thus, the public that adored Furbies, in part, turned against them.

Why we SHOULDN’T be terrified of Furbies, or harass people who like Furbies:

This shouldn’t need to be said, but I’ve seen it enough that I’m making a point of it: a huge reason is basic fucking courtesy. Furbies are adored, and sometimes comfort items for those who own them. Don’t shit on people for liking things that aren’t hurting anyone, even if you personally don’t find enjoyment in them.

Now for the other reasons.

The basic programming of Furbies is to be a companion. It’s designed to learn, grow, and enjoy things like dancing, singing, telling stories, babbling, and sleeping. They’re basically robotic children, or pets. There is nothing evil in their programming, nor will there ever be. They’re designed to be cute, and sometimes they mess up a little or start talking when you’d rather they didn’t, but it’s not born out of maliciousness - just old technology trying to keep up with the times. If you’re freaked out by Furby behavior, maybe you shouldn’t have kids?

Furbies have extremely limited motor capabilities. They can’t travel on their own, only dance in place and wiggle. They rely entirely on their human owners for transport - so if your Furby is in a strange location, it’s because someone in the family thought it would be funny, and put it there. Not demons. You’re never going to wake up with a Furby holding a knife next to your pillow, Cheryl, calm down. They don’t even have arms.

Alternative option to what you think is Demon Possession:

If you’re still not convinced your Furby isn’t a Satan Imp in disguise, and you’re absolutely certain it’s being possessed by SOMETHING, then here’s how I like to think of it:

If you absolutely cannot be convinced otherwise that your Furby isn’t possessed, then I promise you it’s not a demon. More than likely, it’s a fae.

Fae are beings of mischief, and embody chaotic neutral. They aren’t out to get you, and they aren’t necessarily in your corner, either. Fae show up to make merry, cause a little trouble, sometimes give you nice things- if they FEEL like it- and that’s it. A piece of aging technology with a tendency to bug and startle people would be like candy for beings like a fae, especially in a rapidly advancing technological world. An old-world object that speaks an alien tongue and moves on its own? Sign me the fuck up, says the local trickster spirit who is just here for some harmless fun.

Another point for why this works is the unusual appearance of a Furby. Furbies rest within the uncanny valley of being just close enough to a real animal that could live on Earth, with traits of multiple species- owl, rabbit, maybe some cat- while still being strange enough in appearance and behavior to be so obviously not a real animal. Again, something that would attract the attention of beings like fae. Something clearly not of this world, yet just close enough to be passable unless looked at closely? Shit, you might as well by my brother, small electronic animal, says your local mischief-maker.

The fae in your Furby is here for a good time - don’t harsh their vibe by burning their vessel, please, they just like your company and are showing it by having fun with you.

And on that note, the number one thing that pisses off Fae is destroying something they view as their property, so take that as you will. You’d effectively be shoving their goodwill back in their face, which is not wise - and, if you still think it’s a demon rather than a fae, wouldn’t that make it even less wise? If you wouldn’t fuck with a fairy tree, don’t fuck with a fae’s Furby. If you absolutely cannot stand having this fae with you, for some reason or another, then donate the Furby to go elsewhere, or hell, resell it. Just don’t destroy limited edition old technology, please, even if there wasn’t a chance you’d anger the local kodamas.

On the topic of Oddbody Furbies:

One of the reasons I made this post is due to the emergence of the recent trend: turning a Furby into an Oddbody Furby. What this entails is purchasing or otherwise acquiring a Classic (or other) edition Furby, removing the fur skin and other cosmetic components, and re-engineering the Furby’s blueprint to be otherworldy, strange, and just overall alien. Examples include changing the body type, lengthening the Furby, adding limbs, changing the eyes/beak/ears, adding a tail, etc. The parts required to do this don’t exist, and must be completely hand-made by the Oddbody engineer, and integrated by hand. It’s a challenge that inspires engineers, design artists, costumers, and people who just like Furbies. The reward for completing it is a unique alien Furby that’s entirely your own.

The point is to create something new, exciting, and supernatural-looking out of these friendly old robots - all while keeping the original hardware in the main body of the Furby intact. It’s a difficult, time-consuming process, and completely unique to each Furby in level of complexity and design. In a way, it’s the designer’s personal mark on the Oddbody Furby community.

One such popular Oddbody was made by @buttered-noodles, a very talented Oddbody engineer. Their Furby garnered powerful reactions - and unfortunately, some of them were extreme and negative, due to the above biases I mentioned previously.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, and if Furbies still scare you, that’s ok. But don’t be that guy, alright? Don’t insult people who worked for hours- days, maybe even weeks or months- on creating complex and beautiful Oddbodies, just because you are personally put off by them. Keep that to yourself- you’ll only hurt the creators by saying things like “BURN IT!!” and “PUT IT BACK IN THE GROUND WHERE IT BELONGS!!1!”. They’re just giving that mischievous fae a more interesting vessel to inhabit.

Be nice to one another, and if you’re still frightened by Furbies, it’s ok to be! Just be courteous to our old fuzzy bois on their 21st year anniversary :)

[allthatjazza]

Googliplier’s New Home

A/N: This is a story about Googliplier, Mark’s character from ‘Google IRL’ (link to video), and Chase, a simple mechanic turned robot mechanic. So, this little idea came to me a loooong time ago. I started writing it on my phone because I was super bored, and I just kept going back to it and editing it or adding more to it. I’ve finally reached a point where I’m happy to call it a chapter and I wanna start getting my work back out there. See what you thing, and enjoy!

Chase wasn’t really a people person. It was the main reason he got into technology and robotics – why deal with human emotions when you could just bury yourself in wires and metal and computer chips? The only interactions he made were online. He had no friends or family to speak of, so he just kept to himself, in the basement of the building, holed up with his tools and his machines.

When Google announced they were releasing the first “smart robot”, Chase was immediately intrigued; a search engine, but as a synthetic human assistant? The tests he could run! The prototypes he could try! But, of course, they cost ridiculous amounts of money, and any second hand ones he found were broken beyond repair (who takes a robot into a sauna anyway?)

So instead, he becomes a synth mechanic – he just downloaded a PDF of the Google manual and studied it for a while. He advertised online, and in no time, he was being delivered faulty synths, fixing them up and sending them back. A lot of money came from fixing them up, but unfortunately a lot of money goes back into it: electric bills, buying spare parts, upgrading his tools, etc.

It’s Saturday (probably), which meant that no work was scheduled for Chase to complete that day. Then, his phone rang. Naturally, he refused to answer it and just let it ring out. He listened to his own voice monotonously tell the caller that “if you wish for me to do work for you, leave a message entailing the details of the job, or contact me via email as instructed wherever you found my number”. Surprisingly, they left a message. A male voice, slightly higher in pitch than normal, spoke, sounding rather alarmed.

“Yeah um, I got one of those Google IRL things? Wait no, what are they actually called? I’m not really sure but yeah, I got one because they were cheap and I didn’t read the manual properly and it’s broken and I honestly don’t want it so can I drop it off? I don’t want it back- if you can fix it, you can keep it. It’s a hunk of junk to me now. Please; I just want someone to take it off my hands. Okay thank you bye-” and with that, the line went dead.

Odd. Very odd indeed. How broken was it? He’d fix it up and sell it on – that way he could definitely afford that new tool box he had his eye on, maybe get a few months ahead in his rent. He collected the number from his landline and sent a quick text.

‘I’ll take that synth off your hands. Bring it over, leave it in the lobby. I’ll see what I can do. How much you want for it?’

The reply was scarily instant.

‘I don’t want anything for it you can have it for free just take it I’ll bring it round within the hour’

Chase hadn’t known what to expect. However, this wasn’t it – the synth was slumped over in a chair, but it looked about average height. It appeared to be an American Male model, yet it had Asian features. He wondered if this really was a Google Bot or if it was a off-brand copy of one. It had black ‘hair’ that was awfully messy, tanned ‘skin’ that was torn and mottled in some places, and it wore plain jeans with a blue t-shirt that had the famous Google ‘G’ logo on it.

Chase tilted his head, frowning. How unusual – apart from the obvious discrepancies on the surface, it seemed to be alright.

He walked over, assessing it and making a mental list in his head of things he needed to fix. There were no missing limbs, no exposed wiring, no sign of anything being amiss except the glaring problem of needing new skin and maybe a bath.

He felt around the shoulder blades until he found the on button – a few clicks, the humming whir of a system booting itself up and then the eyes flew open, flashing a bright blue momentarily before dimming out to a deep chocolate brown.

The synth opened its mouth to speak – probably the usual start up gibberish – but the voice cracked, a spark flew out of a tear in the neck, and the bot’s face morphed into a frown.

“I a-appe-arrr t-o be-e fa-u-lty,” came the distorted voice as it studied its own hands, prodding at a torn piece of silicon ‘skin’.

“You got that right, buddy,” Chase mumbled: it was worse than he thought.

The brown LED ‘eyes’ shot up to study him.

“You are not Mr Fredrick. Where is Mr Fredrick?” it asked, tilting his head.

Chase sighed. He shouldn’t have booted this thing up – synthetic personalities were still as annoying and exhausting as human ones.

“He gave you up, buddy – I’m gonna look after you whilst I fix you up.”

The synth seemed to be studying Chase, and he really didn’t like it. Those eyes were so cold, so lifeless – it felt like they were staring right into his soul. Chase’s anxiety kicked in, and his brain entered fight or flight mode.

“Alright that’s enough of you for now,” he mumbled to himself, reaching around to switch the robot off.

Its mouth opened in protest but was interrupted by the power turning off – the mouth fell shut, the eyes flashed and then shut and the synth collapsed into the chair, slumped over once more.

Chase couldn’t help but ponder what sort of mess he’d gotten himself into.

Any criticism is very gladly accepted - I’m an aspiring writer who previously gave up completely on their work and now I want to see people’s reaction to my writing so go ahead and leave a comment. Love it? Hate it? Don’t really care about it? Leave me a comment telling me your opinions so I can work on improving my style. Thanks for reading!

[goodra-king]

Basics of On Page SEO

Basics of On Page SEO written by John Jantsch read more at Duct Tape Marketing

A great SEO strategy is focused on getting your entire website to rank well. Rather than using generic keywords across all of your pages, you can tailor your SEO page-by-page, giving each individual webpage the best shot at performing well in SERPs.

That’s what on page SEO is all about. When you focus on these SEO elements on each page of your website, you can spread the SEO wealth and work to get multiple pages ranking for specific, targeted keywords. Here are the elements of on page SEO that every business should be thinking about.

Create a Legible URL

Every URL on your website should be short, sweet, and keyword-rich. Establishing the keywords for your homepage and main product pages are usually straightforward. Your homepage will likely be your business name. Your product pages might feature the names of the specific products. Your contact page should say just that in the URL.

Things sometimes get a bit more complicated when you’re creating URLs for content pages. How do you name each blog post? What’s the best URL for your latest podcast episode? The same basic principles apply here.

Keep the URLs as short as possible. Write them in plain english, avoiding number or letter sequences that might represent dates or mean something to your team behind the scenes, but that will read as gibberish to an outsider. And include relevant keywords in a way that makes sense. Don’t simply stuff keywords into URLs for the sake of hitting an arbitrary keyword goalpost.

Craft a Keyword-Rich Title

Each page on your website should also have its own title. Don’t get your title confused with your blog post headline; they’re two different things. Your headline is what appears at the top of your post, whereas your title is an attribute that affects your search engine ranking.

A title is the blue header that appears in Google search results, so you want it to be matter-of-fact and contain a relevant keyword early on. While blog post headlines should be created to entice the reader and draw them in, your title should cut right to the chase. What is this page about? The title will be read by both human prospects and customers as well as Google’s robots, which are looking to understand the content of your page.

There are a number of tools out there designed to help you create an effective SEO title for each of your website’s pages. If yours is a WordPress site, I’d highly recommend the Yoast plugin.

Write an Enticing Description

Your description is the other half of your SERPs metadata. While your title is the blue link that Google searchers click on to travel to your page, the description is the blurb underneath that gives them more information about what they can expect to find on the page.

As I said above, your title should be matter-of-fact; it’s the description where you can get creative and really work to draw the reader in. I like to think of descriptions as an ad for the page itself. In SEO strategies of yore, people tried to stuff as many keywords into descriptions as possible, thinking they’d trick the search engines into ranking the page higher based on their keyword-heavy word salad.

In reality, it’s the descriptions that are written for your audience, not search engine bots, that will win out. When your descriptions draw readers in, they click on the blue link. And actual attention from real readers is better than sneaky attempts to cram keywords in where they shouldn’t be.

Descriptions are another metadata component that the Yoast plugin can help with. The plugin allows you to change the description for each page, so that you’re not stuck with generic information that Google pulls from your site.

Include SEO Elements in Images

Images can do more than add visual interest to your website. By doing a little bit of behind-the-scenes work on your images, you can put them to work for your SEO strategy.

Whenever you include an image on your website, give the file a keyword rich title. If you run a lawn care business and are including a photo of a garden you worked on, rather than leaving the image file as the date the photo was taken, change it to something like “[Business name] garden care Denver Colorado.”

The same approach should be taken when including Alt text on images. Alt text is designed to help search engines understand what an image is about. A rich Alt text description that includes relevant keywords is yet another way to signal to search engines just what this specific page on your website is about.

Focus on H1 Headings

When you think about how you want to organize your on-page content, you should consider both human and robot audiences.

Think about how to divide the content up in a way that makes it easy for readers to understand. Let’s return to the lawn care company example. Say you’re writing a blog post about how to eliminate common lawn and garden pests. Before you write the post, create an outline. Where do you need to start when it comes to explaining this topic? What basics should you include for those who know nothing about lawn care? Consider the most sensible order in which to present the information.

With the lawn pest example, maybe you start by outlining signs a reader’s lawn might have a problem, with descriptions and photos to help them figure out just what kind of pest might be causing their particular issue. Then, you can detail specific courses of treatment for each type of pest.

Once you’ve decided how to divide up your content for reader usability, you want to think about how to organize that information in an SEO-friendly manner. Your headline should become an H1 heading. Your sub-points should be H2 headings, and bullet points can help organize information under each subcategory. While this strategy for organizing content makes it easier for readers to skim and settle on the information they’re looking for, it also helps Google to better understand your content.

Include Internal and External Links

A well-optimized page will include both internal and external links. Including internal links to other pages with relevant content can help Google to better understand how all of your content is related. When you include internal links, make sure the anchor text has keywords in it. That can boost your rankings with search engines.

Some people are hesitant to include external links on their site. Won’t that just drive traffic away from me and to someone else’s business? In reality, high-authority external links create a better user experience and are good for SEO. When you can draw a connection between your brand and a well-established and respected business’s page, it benefits you in the eyes of both your prospects and search engines’ algorithms.

On page SEO is a critical component in your overall SEO strategy. It’s all well and good to have broad SEO goals for your site, but you also want to optimize each page individually to give it the greatest chance at standing out in SERPS in its specific area of focus.

from http://bit.ly/2VG0kqe

[itsfurty]

Here we are in July. Hope everyone has been having a great half of the year and a good summer! Things are exciting in my end with a new job starting soon and will be having me moving halfway across the United States once again. As I prepare my move I figured I'd do another set of reviews. This one has less indie focus than previous entries but I think it'll be just fine. If you want to catch my last post just click here and hopefully my gibberish thoughts and opinions are of some interest. Also I changed these posts to be called Quick Thoughts since my posts aren't really in depth reviews. We'll see if I stick to it.Steamworld DigI’ve already played Steamworld Dig when it came out on the Wii U but I decided to pick it up for the Switch considering how much I enjoy the series and especially its sequel. Well I gotta say, the sequel is better in every single way after replaying this one but I do think the original is still worth your time. The basic premise is you dig. You dig for gems and power stones to upgrade your character so that you can dig faster and through tougher stones. There is a very simple plot with characters that have some personality but it isn’t much to be honest. The visuals are also just okay. To its credit the game was originally a 3ds game and then ported to other platforms. The style looks fine but it gets massively improved upon in future entries. Really the hook here the aspect of digging and gaining new skills as you unlock equipment in test rooms. You’ll unlock a double jump, power drill, and dynamite amongst other skills and items as you play. The test rooms are honestly some of my favorite parts of the game as it makes for some fun quick puzzles and platforming outside of the regular digging you will do. I should mention you will encounter some foes to bash with your pick axe but the combat is just all about holding “A” and dodging any attacks. You will also have to watch out for toxic water, spikes, and some other surprises the deeper in you go.The biggest thing holding the game back is the length and lack of replayability. You can easily clear this around 2 hours and that’s with doing all the test rooms you come across. There are some secret gears to collect in the rooms but it doesn’t add that much extra play time to go through and collect them. Honestly you can skip Steamworld Dig and just go into its sequel. But if you really want to play the game 10 dollars is a decent price but I’m sure during the holidays there will be a decent sale for a more reasonable price.Still it isn’t a bad game, it’s just too little of a game without its truly own identity since it plays so much like the old flash game Motherload. Now if only a sequel to Steamworld Heist would get announced!Price: $9.99 Time played: Less than 3 Hours Verdict: Wait for a sale Flint HookDamn. I really wanted to like Flint Hook but too many aspects just had me wondering why play it over the (personally) better roguelikes out there. I mean visually the game is outstanding. This is the same team behind Mercenary Kings so the pixel art and animations are top of the line. Its colorful, charming, and just fun to look at. The music is also outstanding. The main theme when the game starts up gets me pumped to do a run and has me forgetting all the reasons I didn’t enjoy this game but then I start playing it... The biggest hurdle I thin this game has is it should not have been a rogue like. The dig draw in this game is you have a grappling hook that can pop bubbles or grab onto certain locations to have you zip around really tiny levels. Already the bigger focus is on movement and platforming as you avoid cannons, lasers, spikes, spike balls, motion detection enemies, regular enemies, ghosts, fire, and so much more. This should have been a platformer with carefully crafted levels right from the beginning rather than what feels like an attempt to chase the indie roguelike genre.Just consider the actual content in the game. The way it works is you pick a boss bounty and and complete a few ships (levels) to get to the boss. During this time you will retread very similar rooms with no interesting abilities unlocked. Most are passive like more health, more gold, higher critical chance hits, or faster movement. Nothing that makes you excited to pick up and encourage multiple replays since these are minor passive change ups with no major adjustments to gameplay. The worst part is the obvious hook is the grappling hook but only 1 or 2 abilities you can find changes how it works. It’s like the devs made a really cool mechanic but didn’t know what to do with it. Also, the shooting and combat was clearly an after though as the majority of enemies stand still and do not move. Some don’t even attack and could just be replaced by targets that need shot. The ones that do shoot back have really basic attack patterns. The bigger challenge is moving around the screen with your hookshot and avoiding stage hazards. I honestly had way more fun traversing the maps in the game than fighting any enemy. That should have been the focus. Anyways, back to the content. The bosses you fight will always be the same no matter what. Attack patterns are the same and you will always fight the same boss when you reach the end of a run depending on the bounty. It makes runs feel like there are only 5 variants, one for each boss, as opposed to nearly limitless mix ups.The game contains a lot of collectibles in the form of lore and relics. Neither of which effects the abilities of the layer but rather add background to the game. I found these uninteresting as I do not find reading text on the screen about a watch exciting or a good way to provide purpose to a game’s universe. Relics at least offer XP to your character so that you can unlock new starting skills but again the skills are just not interesting that I did not care about this aspect. I know this mini review negative and disappointing but that is just how I felt when playing Flint Hook. It is a game with great visuals and charm but lacks in gameplay department. It isn't terrible but I think Gungeon, Isaac, Don't Starve, or a Robot Named Fight are way more interesting in what they offer. I really thought I was going to love Flint Hook but it just didn't mesh with me like I had hoped. Price: $14.99 Time played: 15 Hours Verdict: Wait for a sale Splatoon 2 with DLCSo Splatoon 2, it's good, really good. If you’re following Nintendo then you know this game is great. It has risen to being one f Nintendo’s big franchises. I mean this game has so much going for it. It is colorful, some great music, and such an interesting gameplay mechanic I can get my friends and family, that don’t play games, into a match and they’ll have a blast. While at the same time playing ranked can create an incredibly stressful few minutes. So obviously the multiplayer is excellent but single player wise can lease a bit to be desired. I love the hub world where you explore and select the next level to jump into. The traversal of the world by spraying ink is the best part. The enemies don’t really do much of anything in the base game that I’d rather for larger more interesting levels. Plus, the story is pretty simple and doesn’t offer that many exciting moments. Sure the boss fights are a highlight but there aren’t any character moments unlike the dlc, which i’ll get into. Overall with the base Splatoon 2 game the multiplayer is the main draw with the single player offering a decent one time though experience. Sure, you can replay levels with different weapons but nothing major changes that I wouldn't recommend it unless you are a huge fan of the single player.Splatoon 2’s DLC somewhat fixes a lot of the complaints I have with the base game. While it does not offer larger levels, instead smaller for focused challenges, this is still much better than the base game. These focused challenges (I think 80 or so?) levels are a lot of fun. Some will have you reaching a goal with no items, fighting waves of enemies, escorting a ball, shooting shapes out boxes, flying in a jet pack, and so much more. These are great bite sized missions that are vastly better than the single player missions. Sure, they aren’t large open levels to explore like I wish but they’re still great in their own way. The other big fun aspect of the dlc is how much character interaction there is. Pearl, Marina, and Cuttlefish, have a lot of dialogue between each other and they are swimming with personality. They’re a joy to read and watch as they interact with one another. Plus the ending sequence has an actual cutscene which adds a nice cinematic quality to the game. It makes me really excited with where Nintendo takes the single player.Splatoon 2 is a no brainer when it comes to the Switch. I didn't even get into Salmon Run which I have poured tons of hours into. This is easily my most played multiplayer game and maybe my most played game in general. Both the base game and DLC are well worth picking up. Price: $59.99 | DLC: $19.99 Time played: 140 Hours Verdict: Recommend Ys 8Ys 8 is the first game I played in this series and I gotta say I’m impressed. You play as Adol, the silent protagonist, who’s ship is mysteriously destroyed at the the beginning of the game. You wake up on a deserted island and have to reunite with other castaways to find a way off the island. I liked the aspect of finding survivors as they would be added to your base camp which would grow in size as you played. It has a nice sense of progress the more you play and the deeper you explore the island. Sometimes the base camp will come under attack and you will have to fight waves of monsters so be ready to have to travel back from time to time. The story and pacing however is pretty strange. It starts of with a nice hook of ending up on an island and a strange side plot about a mysterious girl who lives on the island. But by the halfway point the story kind of just disappears and you just gather survivors with the vague plot of “find a way off the island” is your only goal. There is no real antagonist throughout the game until the very end. This is where you are hit with heavy exposition and everything comes together and makes sense. It just would have been better if it was better spread out through the game rather just appearing at the very end.While Ys 8 might falter a bit around the plot department the gameplay is a high point. It is all real time and unlike most JRPGs you do not enter a battle arena upon fighting an enemy. You can attack as you please with no transitions and this makes combat fast. You attack with a single button to perform very simple combos but can perform a magic attack with on of the 4 face buttons. You’ll gain a lot in the game so there is a nice variety of moves you’ll perform. For example by the end my main moves for Adol were a vertical arching slash, magic tornado, a spinning air dash, and a long automated ground combo for heavy damage. There are tons more you unlock but that is just what I chose to use by the end. You can have up to 3 party members active at once and you’ll want to switch between them (this is done by pressing “Y”) to fight certain enemies as many are only weak to one type of attack which a party member will fall under (Air attack, smash, or slash). You’ll upgrade armor and weapons as you play but in order to change the visual appearance of characters you’ll need to trade for costumes ( as there is no currency in the game since you’re on an island) which I found disappointing. It did not feel like I had as much control over my character’s visual appearance which I really enjoy doing in these types of games. The last bit of gameplay is exploring the island which is somewhat metroidvania like. You’ll find new tools to let you get through swaps, climb vines, or double jump. Oh, and there is fishing which can be fun to get supplies.The soundtrack to Ys is solid albeit nothing amazing in my opinion. Only a few track really stood out and the rest sot of blended in with that jrpg electric guitar generic sound but nothing out right terrible. The only bad aspect of Ys is sometimes the frame rate and resolution can really dip. Grassy areas are hard on the eyes especially in handheld mode but it is still playable and there are varied environments that you can move to other parts of the game. Also, the translation is sloppy at times with some misspellings or forgetting words in sentences. It’s sloppy but I wasn’t too bothered, although for 60 dollars you’d expect a bit better. If you hate turn based jrpgs then this game might be what you’re looking for as long as you can deal with some anime tropes. There are a few in this game that had me cringe and feel mildly uncomfortable but overall not too bad. Definitely a fun game though and way better than I was expecting. I hope future entries release on the Switch.Price: $59.99 Time played: 40 hours Verdict: Recommend Wolfenstein 2Wolfenstein 2 is another technical marvel ported to the Switch thanks to the devs at Panic Button. Visually it is obviously going to be the weakest compared to the other platforms but it still is quite a game to look at. There were compromises to make it possible to run however. Frame rate is capped at 30 fps, textures can be blurry at times, motion blur is mandatory, and there is a subtle haze to limit the field of view. Still, the game has some great visuals considering the Switch’s limitations. In case you aren’t familiar with Wolfenstein 2 the premise is Nazis won WW2 and it’s time to start a revolution. You will kill a ton of Nazis and it is glorious. You’ll fight inside ruined American cities, Nazi airships, subs, secret bases and other locations. The story is really enjoyable with a great mix of absurdity but also a serious somber tone. There are only a moment or two I felt out of place but over all the game does a great job at setting up characters and moving the plot along. The game is not very long maybe about 10 hours but it’s a quality 10 hours.The weapons, while not as varied as I’d hope, control very well and provide excellent feedback and sound as you dual wield shotguns blasting Nazis to bits. Running and gunning is not the only thing you’ll do as there is some simple stealth in the game. In many situations you can sneak around with a hatchet and knives so you can eliminate Nazis without any hearing a sound. If spotted it just means reinforcements are called in on your area. Now when the game originally released I heard it was deemed to hard and maybe it was changed for the Switch but I’d say normal and hard are perfectly enjoyable experiences. Hard mode will have you hiding behind cover a bit more but it never reached a point where I was frustrated. Gyro aiming is also in the game which is great for fine tuning shots when aiming down sights. I do wish the game had more varied enemy types similar to how Doom does as encounters can sometimes feel too samey at times.In terms of extra content there are extra missions you can play that take place in levels you have already beaten. These are harder than the first time you play these and task you with eliminating a high ranking Nazi in the area. I have not beaten them all but from what I’ve played you have no checkpoints and need to beat it without dying. I wish there was a more arcadey mode in its place where you can just run around killing waves of Nazis as the game feels great and I’d rather just be able to jump in to play rather than having to select one of thee bonus levels but that’s a personal preference. Even with that small complaint Wolfenstein 2 is an excellent game and definitely should be played. If you only own a Switch I fully recommend it. If you have a PC, Xbox, or PlayStation pick it up there as it is cheaper and has better performance. But either way, play this game and enjoyable the world. Also, don’t forget to kill as many Nazis as you can.Price: $59.99 Time played: 10 hours Verdict: Recommend That finishes this set of games. Next time I do one of these I'll be in a new state so I don't know when I'll actually get around to it. I don't think it'll be too long but I'm not sure how many people will actually be missing me haha. Either way, take care and enjoy the rest of the summer months! via /r/NintendoSwitch

[sobeardtastemaker-blog]

How to Create a Great Value Proposition

New Post has been published on http://www.elimarketing.org/how-to-create-a-great-value-proposition/

How to Create a Great Value Proposition

Your value proposition determines if people will bother reading about your product or close the page. If you get it right, sales can skyrocket. Get it wrong, and you’ll wonder why all that traffic isn’t converting into sales.

The less known your company is, the more you need to work on and perfect your value proposition. Does Pepsi or Coke need a value proposition? Probably not.

Does Little Guy Joe who just got into online marketing need a value proposition? He sure does if he wants to make sales.

So what is a value proposition anyway?

Not wanting to rely solely on my memory, I did some research, and this is what I found to be something of a consensus of what a value proposition should be:

It’s your promise of value to be delivered to the customer. And it’s the #1 reason your prospect should buy from YOU.

A great value proposition incorporates one or more of these qualities:

Explaining how your product is going to solve your customer’s problem, or how it’s going to improve your customer’s situation. (This is called relevancy)

States specific benefits your product delivers (This is quantified value)

Tells your customer why they should buy from you instead of your competition (This is unique differentiation)

But I think we need more clarification. In doing my research, I also found that a great value proposition…

Targets a specific market

Focuses on quality, cost or speed, or a combination of two of those

Clarifies what the company or product does not do

Your value proposition should be the first thing visitors see on your home page. Plus, you’ll want to place it on all entry points to your site as well.

People need to be able to read it and immediately understand it. Which is to say, corporate gibberish created by a committee of eggheads isn’t going to cut it.

For example, if I tell you that my value proposition is:

“Revenue-focused automated marketing and sales closing solutions unleashed through collaboration throughout the revenue cycle”

I’m guessing you’re going to be bewildered. Or you’re falling asleep. Or you’re confused as can be.

And there’s no need to be redundant. For example:

Online Billing and Invoicing Software

Invoice Dude is an online billing software specially designed for small and medium businesses. Thousands of businesses and individuals trust us for their invoicing!

This tries to appeal to too many people – small businesses, medium businesses and individuals.

There is no differentiation from other online billing and invoicing software.

In addition, it says ‘thousands of businesses,’ yet offers no proof. Stating an actual number such as 12,549 would be a great help, and it could be updated automatically or manually on a daily or weekly basis.

Plus, I don’t know about you, but this entire value proposition puts me to sleep.

And with a name like Invoice Dude, they could have done soooo much better.

What a value proposition is NOT

It’s not a catch phrase or a slogan.

“Coke, it’s the real thing” and “L’Oreal, because you’re worth it” are slogans, not value propositions.

It’s also not a positioning statement.

“America’s #1 bandage brand, heals the wound fast, heals the hurt faster” is a positioning statement.

These are better than nothing, but they’re not what we’re striving for.

Calling your product the ‘real thing’ doesn’t show one benefit or reason why we should buy it over the competition.

Because you’re worth it doesn’t tell us anything – it just sounds good. And expensive.

Being #1 doesn’t make me want to buy your product, either.

These are all examples of slogans, not value propositions:

Like sleeping on a cloud (Sealy)

Milk from contented cows (Carnation)

Save Money, Live Better (Wal-Mart)

I’m lovin’ it (McDonalds)

When you care enough to send the very best (Hallmark)

Just Do It (Nike)

Finger Lickin’ Good (KFC)

Have it your way (Burger King)

Melts in your mouth, not in your hands (M&M)

The happiest place on earth (Disney World)

The best a man can get (Gillette)

Betcha can’t eat just one (Lays)

Think outside the bun (Taco Bell)

“Koo Koo for Cocoa Puffs”

“Snap! Crackle! Pop!” (Rice Krispies)

“Are you a Cadbury’s fruit and nut case?”

“Keep Walking” (Johnny Walker Whiskey)

“Wii would like to play.”

“I’d rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity.” (Stella Artois)

“We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.” (From a towing company)

“Yesterday’s meals on wheels” (From a septic tank)

“We repair what your husband fixed.” (From a plumber’s truck)

Value proposition components

A value proposition is usually longer than a slogan.

In fact, it can have a headline, a sub-headline, one short paragraph of text and possibly bullet points.

And it might even include a visual, such as a photo, graphics or hero shot.

There is no one correct way to build your value statement, nor is there only one possibility. This is something you’re going to have to think about for awhile.

You make notes, try things, think about it, tweak it, ask opinions and tweak it some more.

Headline: This is usually the big end benefit you’re offering your customers, stated in one clear, short sentence. You might mention the product, the customer or both. This is where you grab attention, because if you don’t, then you’ve already lost a fair share of your prospects.

Sub-headline: This is a specific explanation of what your product does, who the ideal customer is and why your product is useful.

One short paragraph: This can be instead of or in addition to a sub-headline, and serves the same purpose as the sub-headline above.

3 bullet points: These are the key benefits or features. Notice we said three, not unlimited. You may or may not need bullets, but if you do, keep them short and punchy.

Visual: Images always communicate faster and generally better than words. You might show the product, the happy customer or an image that reinforces your message.

How to write your value proposition

This takes time to get it just right. In the beginning, do the best you can, and then adjust it along the way.

There is no reason to delay starting or growing your business just because you don’t have the perfect value statement yet.

A good value statement is better than no value statement, and in time you can make it great.

Start out by answering these questions:

What’s your product or service?

What is the BIG end-benefit of using it?

Who is your ideal target customer?

What makes your offer unique?

How is your product different from anything else available?

NOTE: If you can’t answer why your product is unique or different, then you might want to work on the product itself. Selling a ‘me too’ product that is identical to what’s already being offered can be difficult UNLESS you already have a well-known brand.

Once you have your first draft of your value statement, ask yourself these questions:

Is it clear and easy to understand?

Does it communicate concrete benefit(s)?

Will a customer know exactly what result they will get from using your product?

Does it say how it’s different or better than the competition?

Does it avoid hype? (amazing, fantastic, best ever)

Does it avoid business jargon? (revenue generated resource allocation blah blah blah)

Can your ideal prospect read it and understand it in a few seconds?

If someone is shopping around, then they’re likely to check out 4 or 5 different options before deciding.

By having your value proposition at the top of your first page, you can easily stand apart from all competitors.

Research shows that visitors notice value propositions faster when they have more text.

Visitors were also able to describe more product advantages when there were more to read about in the value proposition.

And readers tend to prefer bullet points – they’re easier to understand and remember.

Examples of great value propositions

Uber:

Tap the app, get a ride 

Uber is the smartest way to get around. One tap and a car comes directly to you. Your driver knows exactly where to go. And payment is completely cashless.

Unbounce:

Build, Publish and A/B Test Landing Pages Without I.T.

The mobile responsive landing page builder for marketers. 

<button copy>Build a high-converting landing page now.

Build a page

Publish it

Test and optimize

Slack:

A messaging app for teams who put robots on Mars!!

NASA’s jet propulsion laboratory is one of tens of thousands of teams around the world using Slack to make their working lives simpler, more pleasant, and more productive.

Trello:

Trello is the free, flexible and visual way to organize anything with anyone.

Drop the lengthy email threads, out-of-date spreadsheets, no-loner-so-sticky notes, and clunky software for managing your prospects. Trello lets you see everything about your project in a single glance.

iPhone:

Why there’s nothing quite like iPhone

Every iPhone we’ve made – and we mean every single one – was built on the same belief. That a phone should be more than a collection of features. That above all, a phone should be absolutely simple, beautiful and magical to use.

Value proposition boosters

Sometimes it’s difficult to find ways to differentiate yourself from your competition, so you might try adding one or more of these to your offer:

Free shipping

Fast or next day shipping

Free trial

Free setup or installation

Free bonus

No long-term contracts or payments

A very clear money back guarantee

A better than money-back guarantee

A discounted price

Customization

One-on-one personal help

Remember, you don’t need to hit your value proposition out of the park on the first try. But you do need to build one and use it.

Tests show that having the right value proposition can have an immediate effect on your sales, sometimes even doubling or tripling conversions.

Of course, it’s going to depend on your product, your niche, your customers and even your competition.

And most of all, it will depend on how well you craft your value proposition.

One more thing – an added beauty of having a great value proposition is it clarifies in your own mind what it is that you are truly doing for your customers.

It actually makes your job easier, in that you are no longer trying to be a jack of all trades, or trying to make your product fit everyone.

The clarity your value proposition brings can also bring you peace of mind and a better ability to grow your business big, strong and fast.