#really hoping this goes up soon

[goldencuffs]

Hi! Do you have any new Lamen fics planned tho? And if so is it possible for you to give us hints about the plot?

YES I DO!! 🙌✨🎉

just one. maybe two.

but i've written quite a lot of one particular au. it has very cliche stereotypes - jock damen and ballet dancer laurent who are "friends" with benefits. damen is a complete and utter asshole in this. and he makes laurent's life miserable most of the time. laurent is, naturally, in love with damen.

it also features aleron and laurent getting along but with a twist... (aleron is extremely controlling and overprotective and laurent is People Pleaser to his core in this au so he goes along with all of aleron's restrictions).

i want to finish at least half of it (i already have 20k!!!) before i start posting because i don't want people to be waiting forever in between updates (not that that's what i'm known for hahahaha...............)

anyway enough yapping. here's (part) of the first scene hehe ✨

Damen sucked leisurely, like they had all the time in the world, his thumb breaching Laurent. It was dry, but they both knew how much Laurent loved the painful stretch, the initial press. Laurent’s head was vibrating in pleasure. His stomach was clenching and unclenching; he was going to come soon, and then Damen would really lose it, because he liked fucking into Laurent when he was loose and pliant. The buzzing around his head was growing, and Laurent was shaking, completely— “Shit.” Damen pulled away, just at the crest of Laurent’s orgasm. “Nooo,” Laurent groaned. “Damen, please, I’m—” “Wait. Shut up. Shit.” “What?” Laurent propped himself up on his elbows, because he was just starting to realise Damen sounded panicked, not turned on. And there was a buzzing still in his head—wait, no, next to it; Laurent turned, to where Damen’s phone was on the nightstand, and saw Jokaste’s name flash across the screen. He frowned. “Why is she calling you?” Damen snatched the phone, silencing it. “Shit.” “Why is she calling you, Damen?” Damen exhaled sharply. He ran his hands through his hair, and then seemed to remember there wasn’t much of it left, and his hand fell awkwardly in his lap, where his jeans were stretched and tented. “Look,” he said. “I completely forgot… but, uh, Jokaste and I… We got back together last week.” Laurent shot up. “What?” “Look—” “Are you fucking kidding me, Damen?” Laurent snapped. He didn’t know what to focus on: the infuriating expression on Damen’s face, his almost-orgasm, his half-naked state, the fact that Damen was back with his fucking— “What the fuck is wrong with you? How could you forget that? How could you not tell me—and, and, and, you called me over to—” “Jesus, calm down, alright,” Damen shifted on his knees, looking both morose and furious. “If anything, you should take it as a compliment I forgot about her the moment I saw you—” “What is wrong with you? Who the fuck in their right mind would take that as a compliment?” Laurent hands were shaking with—anger, distraught, frustration—as he pulled up his underwear and pants. The worst part was that his treacherous heart was taking it as a compliment. “Why did you even get back together with her? I thought her sleeping with Kastor—your brother, by the way, in case you fucking forgot—was the last straw.” Damen rolled his eyes, and now he was really starting to look annoyed, eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched. “That was months ago. And they didn’t sleep together; he just went down on her.” He paused. “Actually, you know what, this works in my favour, since I just went down on you… so it’s kind of like tit for tat. Guilt absolved.” Laurent’s mouth dropped. He stood, whirling on Damen. “Oh my fucking God, Damen. What is wrong with you?” “How many fucking times are you going to ask me that?” “How can you sit there and fucking act like you’ve done nothing wrong?” Laurent cried. “I’ve been fucking twiddling my thumbs, waiting for you, and, and, and last week. You got back with her last week—you couldn’t have told me?” “I deleted your number after she called and—” “Oh my god!” Laurent pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Oh my god. Oh my god. That’s why you’re back early, isn’t it? To see her, before she goes on her retreat?” And here it was: at three-thirty on a Tuesday morning, Damen destroying his entire world and heart with a few simple sentences, in a span of five minutes. This was record-breaking, actually, even for them.

[scissorcraft]

i really want to make isat friends…

[defiledtomb]

Ouroboros is updated! FORUM POST ||  PLAY DEMO HERE

In this update:

- Fuck around, find out (New intro-path)

- Fuck (A full flashback chapter with L)

- oh, fuck. (Meet Lena and hear her out)

I am sorry that my progress has been so hidden and so angsty. I promise that I am trying my best, and man, I will never get used to being so public about it. Thank you, dearly, honestly, so very much, for your support and patience. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.

I will answer asks in any spare time I have, with every ounce of energy I can muster!

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[kkyujikoo]

Jungkook truly said "It's missing Jimin hour at my house and I'm making it everyone's problem"

[masked-and-doomed]

Respect to the song writers for putting out the "ABCDEF– GO!" Real. Lovely lyrics (genuine)

[alienturnipp]

My favorite Beyond Evil characters & my favorite objects that they've held pt. 1, featuring Lee Dong Sik 🔨 and Yoo Jae Yi 🥚

Pt. 2

[ruporas]

wait. wait. wait. ive been staring at ur latest comic for awhile now and i think i've noticed something about the colors? which are amazing, first of all- just gotta get that out there cuz i adore that soft pink and deep green combo

but i just realized that throughout most of the comic u use both in equal parts it seems. to separate bg + fg and such, to highlight characters/objects, etc.

but then when vash gets back to their room, all the walls are that dark green. and, bit by bit, the pink totally falls off. by the end, it's nothing but constant dark green as vash starts to cry

but then wolfwood slams in and he's backed by that soft pink. and suddenly the comic is nothing BUT pink. soft lines and whites and gentle pink tones EVERYWHERE to just. SO tastefully highlight the little details.

LIKE. WAS THIS INTENTIONAL?! i almost wanna guess that it wasn't since all those green panels w vash crying are all closeups focused on his expression so it makes sense to just put the simple green behind it and all attention on him so the pink just isn't Needed

BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE EFFECT IS SO MASTERFUL THAT I WANNA BELIEVE IT WAS ABSOLUTELY INTENTIONAL

HEHE..... first of all, thank you for looking at my comic so closely, THAT'S LIKE... REALLY SWEET and a huge compliment to hear, thank u thank u

and yes, it was intentional, especially more towards the end!!! in general, the colors are meant to serve as a mood indicator, so a balance of them in a scene would just mean a neutral "okay-ness" and have a functional serve to separate background / foreground / subject matter... deep green signifies introspection or incoming sadness (especially on pg5 when vash cries), and pink signifies wolfwood, which, not an emotion but he is happiness, someone that helps vash lose his doubts in a matter of seconds -- which is why those last few pages are just pink white and lines, and the panels are gone for the majority of it. i wanted to show their unity and togetherness!

while vash still has his issues of just Not saying anything about his loneliness, his feelings are alleviated temporarily with wolfwood's presence and he's just grateful that his paranoia didn't become true, and that wolfwood is genuine, true to his word, when he means he'll be following vash/staying with him. even though it's mission-bound, vash would probably still feel guiltily comforted by that fact.

I'M GLAD IT WAS PARTICULARLY EFFECTIVE IN THIS COMIC because i definitely could've pushed it more... i figured it was a minor thing that not a lot of ppl would care for, but more ppl enjoyed it and noticed the colors than i thought, so i'm glad it worked out!!!

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

cries softly I'M JUST READY TO OPEN THE ASKBOX DANGIT

not that I don't enjoy/not looking forward to what I have left... but I wish it was already done so I have new things to write!! or at least imagine writing lol

sometimes I have things sitting on my list for so long that the more I look at it, I'm imagining it more, and then it gets. idk. kinda like the equivalent of my brain chewing a piece of gum for a long time till it can't taste flavor anymore??

my brain is like "well I've already thought about it for a while, now you wanna actually write it down??? lol no" BRAIN WHY

like

does that make sense or am I just nuts XD

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

I just finished going back through my gonta tag and compiling all the serious/angsty posts I could find. If you ever want to see angsty Gonta stuff, feel free to check out the tag [#gontangst]

[eachuisge-cc]

......... cat dick....... is working??

[possiblytracker]

feeling normal (birthday in like 3 days that im not ready for) feeling normal (too artblocked and preoccupied to even think about finishing artfight and wrestling with guilt about it) feeling normal (-£600 in bank account) feeling normal (realised breaking my foot last year led to Lasting Consequences but cant see a physio abt my fucked up legs til january) feeling normal (has to learn to drive stick and the instructor is scary) feeling normal (stlil has no idea how to un-fuck social life after the great mental breakdown of april 2023) feeling normal (gross sobbing)

[cosmic-kaden]

So, I did it a little backwards but that's okay because I'm going to probably make a masterlist for these fics with Sackler. :)

Me? Wanting to write again today? Absolutely! :D

[fateviled]

life update in the tags bc god wants me dead and i just won't croak

[redbean-nom]

redesign of the Vespa Kids from book of boba fett

thoughts & closeups under cut

so i tried to keep their general appearances/colors intact while adding some actual personality (because i think the main problem with the original designs is that they feel like extras, not side characters).

Red: Zabrak orphan who grew up on Tatooine. 18 years old, was a member of the local insurgent group around the end of the empire era. Has a combo blaster/interrogation droid arm. Speeder is a repurposed version of Maul's speeder from phantom menace.

Blue: Human raised in the non-Tatooine parts of the Outer Rim. 23 years old, known assassin who worked for Jabba. Uses a scavenged magnaguard-type electrostaff. Has basically a version of the mandalorian helmet visors built into his face. Speeder is an abandoned scout trooper speeder.

Yellow: Tusken orphan from the clans around the podrace area. 19 years old, became a bounty hunter after his tribe (and bantha) were killed by the Pikes to expand spice routes. Has a Vader-style chest panel and rocket feet. Speeder is a custom pod attached to one of Sebulba's engines, with attached rancor teeth and horns from his late bantha.

Green: Human who grew up on Coruscant, but family fled the Empire to Tatooine around A New Hope. 21 years old, originally worked as a local enforcer for various Hutts. Has super battle droid arm & leg attachments. Speeder is stolen from local nikto gang.

original designs for reference: