#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catchyhuh · 1 year

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if you cheat at mario kart one more time we're kicking you out of the polycule

this is so specific. why the fuck would their stance on video games mean anything? i wrote it down anyway

lupin:

has fun with ‘em but doesn’t really play too much. he’s busy! got places to be! but he doesn’t often say no if offered, and probably knows the most pop culture about them compared to the others. like he knows who kiryu is. he knows cloud.

he loves puzzles. especially like space distribution related ones like tetris and sliding blocks and shit, but really he’ll play anything if someone’s sold him on it enough. he doesn’t really care a lot about adventure, actiony types cuz he can just. go outside and do that. unless it’s absolutely batshit insane enough like. idk bayonetta. can’t imagine lupin the third would have an ulterior motive for liking bayonetta!!

does he actually cheat at mario kart: Yes. enough said there but he still gets 2nd place somehow?

jigen:

“i’m too old for that” this guy had a ds lite in 2009 don’t listen to him. of course he mostly had the boring shit and it was really more of a novelty to him than anything but still. it was the silver one.

console games are not really his thing. he could have a little fun at an ARCADE though and i’m not just saying that because of the like. ghostbusters shoot ‘em up cabinets. the ticket incentive would get to him. he knows it’s just junk but let’s be honest the idea of him actually working to “earn” some shit instead of just stealing it, and the earned bounty being a glow in the dark spider ring is priceless. and you know lupin LOVES to help with this

backseat gamer though. speaking of lupin, he fucking ALWAYS does this to him. “hey you missed that chest.” “that weapon is ass why didn’t you equip the one i told you too” “is this game that hard or are you just that friggin bad at this” until lupin snaps “OKAY DAMN! SHUT UP!” and puts in like wii music or whatever. he still insists he’s playing it wrong.

does he actually cheat at mario kart: usually sits out, so unless you call purposeful sabotage of “don’t fuck this up” talk directed at the ones actually playing REPEATEDLY through the lap cheating, nnnno. even when he does play he doesn’t really bother cheating. pretty content with 6th place and up. It's Just Not That Serious

fujiko:

depending on. whenever she was a kid/teenager since the timeline in this franchise gives me a headache, i’d bet solid money fujiko was bigger on them than you’d expect back in the day. definitely started that stupid fucking pokemon truck rumor in the day

now she’s kind of passive. it just doesn’t interest her like it used to, she’s got more intense passions than animal crossing can fulfill. she’s not like rolling her eyes and calling you a stupid child for offering to Game with her but she just kind of pauses. and shrugs. she might play in a group if it entertains her enough, but that’s more because of the human element than the game itself. she fucking LOVES competitive shit just because of the shit she can stir up with it. free comedy

does she actually cheat: fucking look me in the eyes and ask me that again. mains rosalina to look cute but also exploit the fact she’s the fastest heavyweight class. or was i think they nerfed her WHATEVER

goemon:

i know people are split on goemon’s actual level of technical ineptitude at times but i really think you could get this guy hooked on bejeweled or some shit. not candy crush. too gaudy.

have you ever (mostly directed at people with siblings) have you ever played a video game FOR someone else. like they tell you “let’s go in that cave” or “wait no choose this dialogue option” like it isn’t backseat gaming, it’s just them essentially using YOU as the controller? goemon does that.

you could maybe get him interested in a visual novel but he’d probably have an easier time just reading the damn thing

does he actually cheat: he’d get the hang of it easy, he can drive (ignoring that one gag and looking at like everything else HE CAN DRIVE) and it really is just like. pressing two buttons and turning the controller. he’s too focused in on the track to think about cheating, or even attempt to figure out HOW to cheat? he’s too invested in delfino square dude he can’t be fucked to save that bullet bill for when he’s in 3rd place.

zenigata:

he doesn’t insist he’s too OLD for it. but he doesn’t really have the patience for it exactly. and what’s REALLY lame about it is that he doesn’t even play like. the dull “serious type” games like windows 98 blackjack or whatever because, his reasoning, why wouldn’t he just. play it normally?? in real life?

definitely the kind of person who looks at you like you’ve grown a second head for explaining what a let’s player is, and even more so when you describe how insanely popular they are. because he really just does NOT understand why you wouldn’t just PLAY IT YOURSELF (the more you explain it the more stunned he is, just don't bother it'll only give you both a headache)

however. if you make ANYTHING a competition it’s a completely different story. freakishly high score in monkeyball. speedran through metal gear like it was nothing while still somewhat comprehending the plot. through the fire and flames on expert IT’S AMAZING WHAT THE RIGHT MOTIVATION CAN GET YOU WITH THIS GUY

does he actually cheat: he’ll deny for hours. it’s a semi-common lup gang truce, they’re at one of those bars that has a wii on the floor for some reason, and lupin is insisting, and you know EXACTLY who saves that bullet bill for when he’s somehow pushed his way to 1st place. arguments break out but he won so who cares! let’s gooooo team zeni!!!

wait should i have given all of them mario kart mains. speedrun for the others: peach (excuse to look at cute girl) or diddy kong (obvious joke), shy guy (specif black hood variant yes they bought the dlc), yoshi (inexplicably vibes with him) and uh. luigi? oh god i can’t think of zeni’s main. not bowser. easy “go karting with bowser” joke but no it's not bowser. MARIO. IT’S MARIO HE *WOULD* BE THAT GUY TO JUST FUCKING PICK MARIO

#written by a proud gamer who hasn't actually touched his switch in months!!!#lupin iii #lupin the third #lupin #jigen #fujiko #goemon #zenigata

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sevilemar · 2 years

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okay, here is a very long list of random things that I thought of

Let's do this!

- I am pretty confident I'm a prep-work secondary; it drives me crazy that my roommate/best friend doesn't think ahead whatsoever. what if you forget something? don't you want to make things easier on future-you???

You can't really predict the future, though, so why invest time now that might turn out to be wasted later? Better to just look at how things are now and work with that 😉.

Yeah, prep-work secondary sounds about right.

- I have ADHD (among other issues) and executive dysfunction problems, and the way I've found best to cope with this is by doing things immediately; doing the dishes immediately after using them prevents food from getting stuck, they won't sit in the sink with food on them, and I only have to do a few dishes now rather than a bunch later

I admire anyone who can keep this up consistently. I tried so many times, and it only worked for a day or so. The only way I can keep my dishes from taking over is to limit them. If I have only one plate for everything, I either use it dirty, or I have to clean it before using it again. Same with bowls, glasses, etc.

- I collect various "tools" (interests, hobbies, skills, people) for fun and/or maybe it'll come in handy later? and I have a really hard time learning things when I HAVE to, even if I want to for practical reasons (this is related to the point above)

Hello there, birdy.

- I used to try to join or build communities; I was THE person who would see separate friends/acquaintances with things in common and introduce them to each other and end up making a group that way. I think I still have inclinations to do this, but I barely interact with people outside my circle anymore due to lower social energy

And badger's here, too, welcome!

- I have been described as "collecting interesting people"; I've also been described as "knowing everyone" and "being able to get government secrets out of an fbi agent" (semi-related to the point above)- people used to trust me very easily and see me as non-threatening (and project onto me/romanticize me, which I wanted?)

Know-a-guy bird? Courtier badger?

- I (both conscious and not) shift(?) my personality based on who I'm talking to, usually by exaggerating specific traits; I try very hard to stay consistent across people I talk to but it feels like I can't help splitting up my identity into more digestible pieces, usually based on what I think the other person is expecting from me (my ulterior motive is that I want to be liked so badly)

I don't think that's shifting. The way you describe it sounds more like a courtier badger highlighting different parts of yourself. But it's not a happy process for you, not something that feels right. I'm comfortable saying you're not snake sec, and you said yourself you don't think you're lion either. Maybe it helps if you think about it as actor bird's masks? Masks you can put down if you want to.

- I have a habit of making sideblogs for specific aesthetic, purposes, and have a hard time not separating "inconsistent sides" of me like that. could be considered a bird collecting (though I think tags are more for that) or actor bird thing?

Yes, collections are a classic bird thing, and I think that's what's happening here. I don't think it's wrong to have separate sides like that, though. Why do you think it's a problem? Where does this fear come from? And if you want to integrate them more, how would you go about it?

- when faced with a problem, I start trying to strategize a solution, or at least a temporary band-aid. I'll think of the resources I have and what options are available. my biggest example is when we got into an accident and no longer had a vehicle; are there areas we can walk to nearby? what people do I know who are able to give me a ride somewhere? is there a taxi available, or uber? back when we had little money, I'd keep track of who I was able to ask for money for help with groceries. etc etc etc.

I'd say that's bird. I would do the same.

- I avoid asking the same person for help repeatedly during a short period of time because people will grow tired and resentful towards you

That's just good people management 😉.

- However, I've relied on others basically my entire life; I don't feel like I've ever accomplished anything important without the assistance of others. I was only able to move out of my family's house because I'd look for friends who'd be able to take me in- another example of a time I solved a problem: when we needed to get passports within a specific period of time, I had to devise an incredibly shaky plan: our ride was going to take us somewhere, so I asked if he'd take us to a passport application appointment instead (he is hard to ask to do things as it is). we had to go to the library, and I also didn't know if they'd accept cash, and we didn't have enough money on our debit card. we also didn't know if we'd even get our passports in time. I hated how unsure everything was, but everything worked out and I was incredibly relieved and proud of myself

I get Know-a-guy bird vibes from this. It could be badger, but something about the planning and the stressing out just says bird to me.

- previously mentioned ride can be hard to convince to do things and my first inclination is to bribe him using gas money or fast food

- my wrists have been having issues for months, causing my roommate to have to do all my chores, and my go-to when asking her for things is also bribery via fast food...

Know your ressources, and how to manage them, right? 😉. Also, hope your wrists get better.

- negotiation is a Big tool I use incredibly often, but try not to unless I feel like it's the best choice to make. is sacrifice or making deals a tool?

I think they are tools, or as I would call them, strategies.

- I've never worked hard at anything important, like pursuing a career (I've never had any ambitions for the future and wish I didn't have to work at all), but when I get into hobbies like speedrunning, I poured hundreds of hours into repetitive practice (this is partially what injured my wrists...)

That's really alien to me. It sounds like badger hard work, but it could be bird planning, too? I really don't know.

- speaking of my wrists, it's been incredibly stressful not being able to do things and only being able to rely on my roommate and others; I much prefer being able to do things myself, as I can trust them to get done and I don't have to constantly ask for help and be a burden. I've come up with some tools to help me cope though; I can use my elbows to do things like turn faucets and door handles, as well as navigate my computer via touchpad, and I can use a combination of Google assistant, voice to text, and my nose to navigate my phone, which at least stresses me out less

You're describing them as tools, which is a bird thing to do, but I would handle it just the same, and I think everyone would? If you have to, you get creative, whether you like it or not.

- another example of a time I solved a problem: I used to not know how to use art programs, but I DID know how to use HTML and I had fun doing it, so I'd use that to make transparent borders for my streaming setup.

It's an I-move thing, I think. So more bird (or snake).

- I also want to get into fostering kittens in the future, and I know it will be a lot of work and responsibility and heartache, but I really want to. I even bought a feral cat trap, and wrote an article for my mother's online newspaper for some money about the TNR program. unfortunately at the moment I don't have the money or energy to pursue this, but I'm excited to in the future

And I bet you've already researched all about it, right? 😉

- speaking of hobbies, I enjoy some grindy things like shiny hunting in Pokemon, since you get to show off how much effort you put into it. however, while I aspire to be able to do hard stuff like SRing for a shiny starter or hunting full odds without a method that makes it easier, I often give up

Trying to be badger but are not? ADHD getting in the way?

- another example of when I solved a problem: we asked a family friend to watch our cats while we went on vacation (another problem I solved), and when we got back we learned that our nervous cat had been hiding the entire time and we couldn't get her to come out, and after we decided to give up temporarily, on the drive home I remembered that I have the aforementioned feral cat trap, so we gave it to the family friend and two mornings later she was caught and brought home!

Resourceful. And more I-move stuff, I think?

- I have a discord server just for myself where I store various things, such as important things (college programs, recipes, etc) as well as mostly hobby related things like speedrunning references and animal crossing inspiration/ideas. I also have a reminder bot in here I use to remember things

That's so birdy, my friend <3

- I feel like I'm bad at coming up with original ideas, but I'm very good at modifying or improving things to make them even better, such as editing an image or tumblr theme. I also tend to learn things by messing around with something someone's made and using their work as a reference

I also can't make something from nothing and need something to react to and work with. But references are really not my jam, I just do the thing and see how it comes out. Difference between a bird and a snakebird, I think.

- I like to keep track of/remember little details about people and use that to surprise them with things they like, like posts or gifts if I'm able to

I could never manage it. It just slips right out of my brain if it's not about my people. I'd say this is badger, but I don't have much experience with know-a-guy birds, so it might also be that

- My boyfriend is definitely a badger secondary, and I feel like he is a lot better than me at working hard at things. I always think that people who are able to work hard at things and accomplish things are very enviable, and I wish I was more like them

I think you're more bird than badger, nonny, but you definitely like the badger way.

my current theory is that I'm either a burned badger with a bird model (as a coping mechanism?) OR a bird with a badger model that I use as a tool

I think you're a know-a-guy bird with either a badger model or performance, who really likes badgers.

- 🍵🐍

#sortinghatchats #ask answers #bird secondary #badger secondary

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theblognobodyfoundlastyear · 2 years

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"Fine, I'll do it myself" said the newfound fool

Or at least that seems to be the recurring trend these last few months since the last post. To be honest, I've been feeling rather rage-filled in the most recent of weeks, mostly to do with the fact that people are changing with the times and that it's making me feel bad for not making much progress in one's own life. The logical thinker would conclude that I've nobody to blame but myself and you'd be... I'd like to say wrong, but I'll let your imagination fill in the end of that sentence.

"Anger, eh?" you might be smugly thinking "I bet that's the first feeling you've legitimately experienced in years!" As much as it surprises me as well, it's shocking to know that I can still have these "emotions" even about the most ridiculous things such as this. As with with problem, one of the first questions to ask oneself is: What will you do to resolve or at least minimize the problem? This would imply that one doesn't directly have to make any progress to actually get the individual's life together, in so far as to ensure the problem domain is shrinking in some capacity. And the fool would say? Eliminate the competition - You can't compare yourself to others if you're never aware of their own personal progress. This is certainly not a silver bullet solution, but as the Megatherium in us would rather prefer, anything goes to make it to the next day.

So one is willing to be a total recluse, a.k.a. jerk, in order to better ignore one's lack of action in life. Surely, one would want to seek more positive emotions such as "joy" and "positivity", assuming we've heard of those words before. Perhaps in a time before lock downs were a thing, this would be ideal but it does sort of swerve back to the problem of how far one would go to pursue happiness, if I can call it that in this case. Think about it: You could put down everyone you knew and sacrifice all you have to experience some kind of meaningful joy, and then the feeling fades. What have you left? Not even a receipt, that's what.

We now have a conflict of sorts: One does not want to make progress in life and solve one's problems in any meaningful capacity, at the same time one would rather remain in the dark with all these problems that ultimately mean "joy" and "positivity" are not within reach? Something tells me that stoicism can only get you so far before the Big One hits. So it seems one doesn't have a choice but to *shudder* interact with others in meaningful and emotionally inspiring ways. Isn't it going to be obvious that one's relations with others is only for some ulterior motive? The flip side could very well be equally true: Everyone knows you only do things out of some external motivation, so just double down on what people are already expecting of you.

But more than that: What about the feeling of "fulfillment"? Seems like a strange tangent to take, but hear me out on this one (again?): If we don't even know what we enjoy, then what will we do in those opportunities that randomly fly in our faces that enable us to briefly do something worth doing? It's a strange idea that there are inevitable nuggets of time where we can do these things. I don't use the term "public holidays" because these are more broad and can come about in many other ways, in case you're wondering. Anyhoo, so tell me why it's important to have these "fulfillments"? Well, think of life as being a good ol' hotpot soup and all the experiences are like ingredients, imbuing some element of flavor into the soup. For oneself, this has always been the most bland bitter soup money can buy, and at the end of it all, is this our manifest destiny? That we are to become these dry fools, with or without our objections?

Following on from that analogy, perhaps that's the true reason why nobody prefers associating with us is because our "soup base" is not taste-worthy at all. So this is where the actual work aspect might come into play: If we make the attempts to *gagging* befriend others and care about people in the right way, then perhaps we too might become a pleasant aroma for those around us. Of course, this is still mostly speculation - This could very well not work or even backfire. Then again, it's not like we have much to lose in that regard.

Lastly, what should we do once we have found that "first fame", if I can even call it that, when we initially enjoyed being in the presence of others? Well, it's the maintenance game from here on out. After all, isn't that how we got into this mess in the first place back in 2014?

'Til next time, young padawan.

I can only imagine that my social aura is like drinking one of these: Only with a strong sweetening agent such as honey makes it, for the most part, barely tolerable.

#emotions #missing purpose #fulfillment #socializing

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the-chicken-or-the-banana · 3 years

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andreil and goodbye kisses (pt. 8) ft. wymack (+ a bonus)

part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 || i'm actually feeling kinda sad that this is the last part but also my brain can't come up with more ideas lmao

wymack stands by the fact that he doesn't get paid enough to deal with andrew and neil's shit (both as separate idiots and together)

but he does care for all his foxes, despite all the... difficulties that surround them

and honestly? one of the biggest struggles he faces is how absolutely thick-headed and oblivious the foxes can be regarding andrew and neil's relationship

truly, the heart-eyes neil constantly gave andrew were so obvious, he's not sure how everyone missed them before

but because he's so observant, he doesn't fail to notice how the older foxes keep giving strange looks to neil whenever he leaves andrew's side now

wymack doesn't get in the way of his foxes' personal lives. but if they start causing disturbances on the court, it's his job as coach to get to the bottom of these issues

(okay, maybe he and dan catch up on the so-called "drama" in the team every few weeks but it's for completely exy-related business. ahem. of course)

one day, wymack corners neil and lets him know that he and dan were to meet in his office after practice to talk through some logistics for the winter banquet

neil agrees, and practice goes smoothly (or, as smoothly as it can go with the foxes)

but after practice is... interesting

wymack swears he had no ulterior motives planned with the meeting; it really was supposed to be a genuine discussion

but the outcome of it was certainly unexpected

he and dan both know to wait for neil, that he doesn't like changing in front of anyone

so they wait. and wait. and wait.

it gets to the point where it's nearly 45 minutes after practice and surely neil should be done at this point, no?

wymack gets up, fully prepared to break down the door to make sure neil is okay when suddenly it slams open

neil tumbles out hand-in-hand with andrew, with matching flushed faces and ruffled hair

wymack sighs

dan outright snorts, and neil's head jerks up and his eyes widen when he notices dan and wymack

but before he can say anything, dan stands up and grins at andrew

"fucking neil again, huh?"

neil chokes on a cough and wymack turns to dan with a groan when he notices the mischievous glint in her eye, almost like that was an... inside joke?

with minyard?

wymack is very confused

andrew just scowls at dan. "i will knife you and make it look like an accident"

neil is still recovering from his coughing bout, so wymack turns back to the stabby midget ready to reprimand him

"i'm not scared of you anymore, remember andrew?" dan's eyes are still bright as she tries not to laugh

"shut up, both of you" wymack interrupts their weird jokes conversation whatever gruffly. "neil, do you remember why we're here?"

"huh? OH. oh shit. drew, i'm supposed to be talking with them about some winter banquet stuff"

andrew considers this. "how long?" wymack tells him about an hour, and andrew nods and turns to neil. "i'll stay"

neil just rolls his eyes. "you have a paper due tomorrow that you haven't even started yet. go do that, i'll be fine"

wymack sighs. he's been doing a lot of that lately. "minyard, go finish your homework or i swear to god, i'll make you run three marathons next week"

andrew glares but mutters out a "fine." he goes to leave but neil tugs him back by the wrist

neil then proceeds to kiss andrew on the nose and gives him the most bashful smile wymack has ever seen on the kid's face

neil's happy. it's a christmas miracle! and it's not even christmas yet!

and that kiss... really, it was the last thing he expected out of neil and andrew but he's happy at how comfortable they've grown around each other

and okay, it was a little adorable

(not that he'd ever say that to their faces, of course)

andrew ends up stumbling out of the court with the reddest face wymack's seen as neil turns back to him and dan

"right" he says sheepishly. "banquet?"

BONUS:

abby doesn't believe it when david tells her about the nose kiss

she knows that neil has a heart of gold, she knows that andrew has so much capacity to feel

but a nose kiss? she doesn't think andrew would agree to that

so when her older foxes come over one night after a tiring, but successful, game, she decides she needs to see this for herself

after a hearty dinner, all the kids are sitting in the living room, with andrew and neil talking quietly in the back corner of the room.

perfect.

"neil!" abby calls, and everyone in the room quiets to look at her. "sweetheart, could you help me bring out the dessert?"

nicky immediately jumps up from beside her, saying how he could help if she needed it

"no no, it's alright, i was hoping to talk to neil, if that's okay? it might take a little while"

neil looks extremely worried at this and abby almost feels guilty.

almost

he glances at andrew and then he leans down so quickly that abby nearly misses it

neil kisses andrew on the nose.

abby barely notices andrew's bright blush, nor does she register neil moving towards her

she just feels so proud of her foxes for coming so far in a world that keeps trying to beat them down

it's a sentimental moment, which is completely ruined by kevin's woop and nicky's yell of glee

"YES BITCH THEY DID IT THEY DID THE KISS GIVE ME YOUR MONEY ALLISON"

"fuck you hemmick. fuck you"

neil looks at them wildly. "you guys were betting on us? i didn't think you would..."

matt sighs and slings an arm around his friend. "oh neil, do you still really think that low of us? we bet on everything"

JSKHKKSJ OK IT'S FINALLY DONE i already miss this series but it has been a fun time :) my asks are always open if y'all have anything specific you want me to write !

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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

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[OM!] Demon Brothers panic-buy MC a last-minute birthday present

Prompt: You drop the fact that your birthday is in a few days, much to the demon brothers’ surprise. They don’t have a gift for you prepared-- panic ensues.

Note: gender neutral; :) i just like seeing them get flustered

Lucifer

“Ah, your birthday? Of course I knew. You thought I didn’t?”

He didn’t know-- not until you told him just then a mere DAYS before your birthday

Internally panicking but he will NOT have you know that he missed this rather important detail

Casually asks you in the next few days if you’re free to go out with him because “he wants to spend more time with you--” which he DOES but he has ulterior motives such as hoping you’d point out something you like when you go out so he can gift it to you

Will watch your movement and gestures like a hawk trying to gauge what sort of present you would want from him

Money isn’t really a concern of him; he just wants to make sure that his gift is something you actually want and is thoughtful enough

If he’s unlucky and you are in fact NOT free in the few days leading up to your birthday, he paces a lot in his room, trying to remember if there was something you mentioned from a past conversation because he has too much pride asking you what you would want for your birthday

...but eventually caves in and asks his other brothers (probably Asmo or Beel) what they think you would like because his love for you >>> his pride

He has seared your birthdate into his mind now because he’d rather not have a repeat of whatever happened this year

Mammon

“Your birthday? Hahaha of COURSE I knew your birthday was in a few days… IN A FEW DAYS--?!”

He blurts this out but you tell him it’s fine but he won’t have it

He’ll try to cover it up, pretending he knew, but he sucks at lying and the fact he suspiciously walks out of your room to find a quick job listing to get enough money for a present is telling enough

First ideas most likely include rummaging in his room for anything valuable or shiny that you could possibly want

Considers giving you his car for a second in his panic but realizes you’d probably freak out at the extremely extravagant present

Will definitely try to snoop in his brothers’ rooms in search of things and collectively tells them (and makes them panic) about your birthday as well

Eventually sucks it up and works at Hell’s Kitchen, literally diving underneath counters and tables to avoid having you see him working

Terrible at making excuses to you about where he is so you probably know he’s working, and he feels bad that he has to avoid hanging out with you-- but he loves you and this is for you, after all, so he bears it

Buys you something he finds value in and thinks would like nice if you wore it; after all, the Avatar of Greed wants the best he can afford for you

Leviathan

You tell him your birthday is coming up soon while he’s playing something and the only thing he says first is “oh nice”

Then he realizes

“YOUR BIRTHDAY IS WHEN??”

He died on the screen, which you point out, but his eyes are wide and a little pleading

Asks you directly what you want for your birthday and he will literally search it up for you on Akuzon right there and then (it’s wild seeing online shopping on several screens)

“How about this one? Wait, no-- that’s terrible quality and the reviews are horrible; let’s check out this one.”

Makes you tell him everything you could have possibly wanted in the past few months so he can compile a list of things he can search up and select from

If he’s manic for the next few days, know that he hasn’t been gaming (has not since you dropped this very important detail) but has been vigorously searching up all the online shopping sites he can find to get the things you wanted down to its detail and quality

Definitely enlists his online friends for recommendations, but regardless will buy you matching gaming headset on top of whatever you wanted because he wants you to know you’re his Player 2, even if you don’t game

All the presents come on the same day (Mammon grumbles that it’s blocking the walkway) and he shoos you away as he carts everything up to his room to wrap it

Wishes he had more time to make you a present instead of buying something but hey there’s always next year

Satan

“O-Oh. Your birthday is in a few days, huh?”

Satan stares at you for a few moments too long as if he wants to say something but decides against it and gives you a benign conversation starter like “You must be excited for another year done”

Inwardly, he’s trying to calculate in his head when he has time to research for things you want, if going on a cat cafe date is too indulgent to be a gift to you, if he should just ask you what you want for a present-- all while holding a conversation with you

Not a great conversation, mind you-- you can tell he’s a little preoccupied, but you’re more worried about how his sentences trail than anything

Pops up randomly in the next few days in your room just to chat, looks around your room, and then leaves again (like a cat)

He’s trying to find a present that you’d want to use-- something practical-- but also something you’d also enjoy having (he’s setting up high standards, but he wants his gift to be good enough for you)

Low-key stressing a lot over this that he’s a little distracted at all times

Ends up combining all his gift ideas by setting up a date for you to spend some quality time with him AND buy your gift when the two of you are together AND has a gift ready for you just in case nothing catches your fancy on your date (he is anything if not prepared for all scenarios)

The gift he gets you is something he’d think you’d enjoy or reminded him of you (and hopes for the best)

Asmodeus

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?”

Asmo is almost offended that you didn’t tell him about your birthday-- how is he supposed to set up a extravagant birth week celebration if your birthday is in a few days?

But no matter-- he’s not that discouraged and is determined to rock your socks off with a present anyways, even though he would have definitely had your birthday celebration as a tag for the entire month if he had the time (now it’s only a week-long trending tag, but he’ll make do)

Will definitely coyly offer up himself as a present (and if you say yes, he will be at your mercy) but thinks he has more creativity that than to make you special day great

Takes you on a shopping spree where he dresses you up in the fanciest of clothes and things that you have always adored and refuses to let up until you let him buy you a gift

On the day of your birthday, he offers up his room as an entire spa day-- pedicure, manicure, whatever-cure you would ever want! Massage, face mask, bubble bath-- if there’s anything that can let him show how much he appreciates you, then tell him! He is at your mercy today!

Takes you out on a spin in town, buying you drinks and dancing with you at clubs if that’s what you want; but the night is yours, hun!

Beelzebub

You tell him when he’s eating something and his face morphs from surprised, delight, to sadness

“I… didn’t get you a present yet…”

You reassure him that it’s completely okay, but you know your words aren’t working because he still has that forlorn expression that reminds you of a kicked puppy

Asks you directly what you would want and if you tell him he’d be more than happy to get whatever it is you requested, even if it’s a physical gift or if you want to spend the entire day with him

It is your birthday and he already feels bad for not being able to really prepare for it properly, so he’ll do anything he can to make you happy

If you don’t tell him what you want, you better be strong enough to resist looking into his eyes to not cave into just telling what you want

Eventually settles on giving you something thoughtful and quickly hand-made-- like a set of coupons that say things such as ‘I will do your chores for a week’ or ‘I will make you dinner’

The coupon book has a lot of food-related things than anything, but you know his love language is basically food-- he loves you lots, okay?

Other than that, he’s super indulgent to you on your birthday. You want a lift? No problem. You want him to carry you bridal style to school? Sure, he can’t see why not!

Belphegor

“Wait, seriously? You waited until NOW to let me know?”

Kind of annoyed about the fact you dropped this detail on him now and decides to immediately punish you by trapping you in his embrace in a forced snuggle even while you laugh (so honestly, you have no regrets)

Tells you he’s not getting you a present

He’s getting you a present though, regardless of what he says, but now he has the element of surprise on his side (assuming you believe that he’s not getting you something)

Hangs out with you per usual in the next few days, paying more attention to what you would want in a present and asking low-key questions about possible gift ideas-- he’s real sneaky about it, so you honestly won’t pick up on it at all

Goes out of his way to help you study and help you out because it is your birthday, after all, and he’s pretending like he didn’t get you a present

Probably casually drops off a gift at your desk on your birthday, and if you’re surprised, he’s a little smug-- but if you’re not, he’ll be a little embarrassed but will tell you to just ‘open the present already’

Gift is most likely to be something that he’s noticed that you have continually needed but never had the thought or time to get-- just to make your life a little easier

Tells you to go nap with him as compensation for the work he’s done trying to think up of a gift for you

#obey me #shall we date? obey me!#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #tags pls work

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ootahime · 3 years

Text

analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga p2

part 1 is here :3

this post includes more excruciatingly long paragraphs so grab urself something and enjoy LOL

chapter 40

i know they’re not interacting in this panel but i still want to bring it up. i’m gonna give some context to this scene in case someone needs to jog their memory. so basically, mei’s ability to command crows is what allows the staff to observe the students from afar. however, gojo notices that there’s lack of footage where yuuji is and asks mei why that’s so. she tells him that they’re animals at the end of the day so she can’t control what they look at. he doesn’t believe her so he asks her whose side she’s on (for yuuji’s execution vs against yuuji’s execution) to which she responds with, “whose side? i’m on the side with money, of course. there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money.” in other words, she’ll always choose the side that offers her more money because she doesn’t care about how morally “correct” or “incorrect” something is. it’s not worth fighting for a cause that doesn’t benefit her in the long run which is why she views things that are unable to be bought (friendships, relationships, favors) as useless - they can’t be exchanged for money. it’s clear that gojo knows she’s not on his side because he replies with, “spoken from experience!” or “i wonder how much!” (translation varies). he says it out loud to perhaps let gakuganji know that he’s onto him. i find it interesting how utahime is in the panel as well with a “?” to express her confusion at his words. let’s overthink dissect that. why is she there in the first place? if the message was to let gakuganji know that gojo is aware of his ulterior motives then a panel with gakuganji and gojo would have sufficed. why add utahime with a question mark?

here’s a personal headcanon of mine that makes no absolute sense, but who cares? it makes me happy LOL. so let’s examine the panel. gojo’s face is more simplified and cartoonish with a grey background on top and some sort of white bubble surrounding the three characters. gakuganji is staring at utahime and gojo. in the official viz translation, he replies to mei with, “i wonder how much!”

normal and logical explanation: shading the principal by asking out loud how much mei was paid by him to avoid monitoring yuuji.

gojohime brainrot explanation:

mei: “there’s no value in something that can’t be bought since you can’t exchange that for money”

gojo: (in response) i wonder how much utahime’s love would cost if it did have a price.

utahime: ?

you’re probably thinking i’m delulu (true) BUT HEAR ME OUT. IT WOULD SOMEWHAT MAKE SENSE IN THIS CONTEXT...

mei’s saying seems to be what she lives by. relationships, love, friendships, etc. do not matter to her as this is evident when she ultimately abandons everyone in shibuya to escape to malaysia, selling all her stocks before japan’s economy goes down. she doesn’t care about anyone else. she even takes advantage of ui ui’s adoration for her. she contrasts utahime. utahime is loved by her students. children, especially teenagers, are picky when it comes to choosing the adults they admire and respect. while everyone trusts gojo, they do not respect him because of his childishness and overall absurdity. it’s refreshing to see how they always call him an idiot or have a -_- face when he’s around. when akutami says everyone absolutely adores utahime-sensei, it says a lot. we haven’t seen her interact with her students all that much, but she’s obviously close to them because she’s frequently arguing with momo. even a closed off person like mechamaru wanted to keep her away from danger. she most certainly expresses a lot of concern and care for her students, and gojo and her students can pick up on this.

i’ve talked about this in every post LOLOL but there’s a reason why he went to utahime first to help him investigate. utahime is a loyal person through and through. she would never do something that harms the students even if she was offered everything in the world. she values relationships above everything else. besides her concern for the students, how else was i able to come to this conclusion about her character? well, she got shoko to stop smoking because she was worried about how it might damage her friend’s health. from these two details, it’s obvious that she’s the complete opposite of mei.

maybe that’s why he calls her weak. she’s too selfless and compassionate in a world where every sorcerer is for themselves. the world is cruel as a sorcerer. no matter how hard you try to fight, in the end, you’ll always die alone. remember his talk with megumi after the baseball game? after witnessing megumi pull a sacrificial bunt to help his teammates advance, gojo has a talk with megumi about his attitude and potential. he says that being selfless and caring about others is not a bad thing, but in a world like this, where people always die alone, he is wasting his potential by being concerned with others. it’s okay to be selfish. this is why we see fierce independence in a lot of the sorcerers like mei, nanami, and gojo. they each have their own reasons as to why they work alone, but it’s still a common characteristic. i feel like utahime doesn’t have a selfish bone in her body. i speculate that her selflessness is the exact reason why she is being held back. during her mission to exorcise a grade 1 spirit by herself, the final task before being promoted to grade 1, she likely got distracted trying to help civilians out of danger and failed her mission. he’s right when he says she doesn’t have the guts to be the traitor, utahime doesn’t have it in her to do something so boldly solely for her own benefit.

after this long tangent, how does this relate to your headcanon, ootahime?

as you know, love is not transactional. you can’t pay someone to love you. what if gojo is asking himself how much it would cost to buy her love. hence, her confusion because she is oblivious to what he really means. it could be probable because gakuganji is observing not only gojo, but utahime as well. so what gojo says must involve her too, right?

or she could just be confused because his words seem out of place because she is unaware of what gakuganji is doing behind everyone’s back. that explanation makes sense for viz’s official translation but it doesn’t make sense when he says, “spoken from experience!” because his words make sense in that context. he’s basically saying that mei’s beliefs must be based on her past experiences so he understands why she feels this way. that’s an appropriate response to mei’s statement so i don’t see why utahime would be confused by this. unless i’m interpreting this whole scene completely wrong. in that case, whoopsies!

let me know if you’re confused because i’m willing to clarify. idk why but i found this really difficult to explain. maybe because i’m reaching so hard haha

chapter 40

he finds any way he can to tease her. they seem like a married couple watching a movie or something. does he take pride in being the only person she doesn’t get along with? i mean, she says it herself so he is aware she thinks he’s annoying, but he keeps picking on her anyway. he doesn’t even pick on his enemies this much LMAOOO i think the only other person he likes to make fun of is gakuganji but he does so because he doesn’t agree with his views. with utahime it’s different. he trusts her a lot and even looks out for her.

chapter 44

why are there two separate instances of gakuganji observing utahime and gojo’s interactions from afar? nah i’m just playing. he’s just looking because he’s concerned she’ll run into the semi-grade 1 curse he had for yuuji. OKAY BUT I NOTICED SOMETHING KINDA CUTE? whenever utahime says something suddenly, he always has those 3 little triangles near his head. it’s like he’s thinking, “oh! utahime is speaking, i must listen <3″ look at his face too. he’s looking at her like :O

this is also an example of her showcasing her concern for the students in front of gojo. i feel like he questions why she’s so caring because if it were him, he would have left the student to figure it out themselves. i really wonder how she would react if he answered her truthfully when she asked what he’d do if she were the traitor.

chapter 45

there’s not much to say here...they’re just cute. i know it’ll never happen but i’d like to see them fight side by side one day. i’m aware that gojo works best alone but i just want to see how they’d work together, okay? 😔

chapter 45

see the little triangles on his head again? UGH SO CUTE.

chapter 45

IS THIS NOT INTENTIONAL??? they share the same thoughts. he even finished her thought. mannnnnnnnnnnnn what is akutami doing? giving us false hope and stripping it away just for fun? making them work so well together for what??

chapter 52

cute how he looks out for her. i have nothing more to say LOL

chapter 53

notice how they’re sitting across from each other? HEHE

chapter 53

yet another instance of her caring for her students in front of gojo. in the anime she has the cutest expression when she says she’s glad the students are safe. i bet gojo saw that too. i also bet that she looks prettier from his point of view.

extra

from the manga and light novels, gojo and utahime are the ones that talk about sports the most. he most definitely chose baseball to cheer her up. it’s not a coincidence people!

i feel like i had a lot more to say but i completely lost my train of thought while writing this, especially with chapter 40. i’m once again writing this at 4 in the morning LOL........ please please please add on or share your thoughts! thank you for reading and sorry for any mistakes.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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stxleslyds · 3 years

Text

LET’S TALK ABOUT BATMAN AND ROBIN #20 (2011).

And the issues that followed that story (Batman and Robin vol.2 #34-37)

DC and the fandom really let Bruce get away with what he did to Jason in that issue. DC because they had Jason go back to Bruce a few issues later to finish their story and the fandom because this moment in comics isn’t talked about enough which has led people to believe that the the concept of “batfamily” as it is in fandom belongs in canon.

This type of moments in stories should make a bigger impact on comic relationships and fandom’s perception of said relationships. From where I am standing Bruce’s actions in that issue are right on the edge of unforgivable and they could have used them as a key moment for Jason to finally move on from all Bat related bullshit without thinking that he had to stay and finish the job (of getting Damian back).

Making Jason move on so easily from that situation really makes it look like if Batman is physically, emotionally, or mentally abusive to his children then it’s not that much of a big deal, it’s just a subplot to a bigger story.

And that is something that happens repeatedly in current comics and it’s disgusting.

Anyway, now that I am done with my rambling, I will start talking about the issues that I mentioned.

Batman and Robin (2011) #20 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

For a little context, this issue is set after Damian’s death and Bruce is looking for ways to resurrect him.

And in this particular issue of this run, Batman recruits Jason Todd between the events of RHatO vol. 1 #18 and #19, that’s why in the cover of the issue the name of the run is changed to ‘Batman and Red Hood’.

A bit more context is that in issue #18 Jason finally recovers from the injuries that he got when the trap that Joker had put on his helmet detonated, and Jason was also having an existential crisis after the Joker convinced him that he was always present in Jason’s life and that he shaped the man that Jason had become (If you want to read more about that and the times' Joker has played with Jason’s mind, I have this post in which I talk all about that).

Good, now I can finally talk about this hellish issue.

Bruce asks for Jason’s help because he wants to take down some marksmen and women that are based in Ethiopia that might or might not have been the same people who took on the job of looking for Damian when his mother had put a bounty on his head.

One would imagine that Bruce calling Jason for this job means that he would let Jason kill some people, bounty-hunters that are money-driven enough to kill children seem to be the kind of people Jason would have in his black list, but Jason is smart and he knows that Batman won’t let him kill so he asks why is Bruce asking him of all people to join him on this mission, Batman replies with “Because I am seeing red”.

If you, like me, don’t understand why Batman would ask the Red Hood to stop him from killing some very shady people then don’t worry, Batman was lying, he didn’t ask Jason to go with him to beat some bounty-hunters, he has ulterior motives.

I will give it to Tomasi, he wrote Jason as the smart cookie that he is because Jason doesn’t stop picking up on the weird technicalities of the mission, and I will go as far as to say that Jason never truly believed that Bruce was being honest about the true nature of their mission. Smart Chonky, I miss you and love you.

Once they get to Ethiopia Bruce starts setting the rules of engagement (don’t shoot to kill, only hands, knees, and elbows), and off they go. Bruce even makes a comment about how it “feels like old times” and Jason is all happy and warm that Bruce invited him to beat some baddies and he also brings up the fact that Bruce stayed by his side while he was recovering from his injuries, very lovely stuff that will soon mean nothing (and that should have meant nothing because Bruce and his lies had resulted in Joker knowing all of their secret identities and messing with all of them in horrible ways, but the Bat can get away with that too).

Here is part of Bruce’s speech about trust and his lies, “You don’t ever need to thank me, Red Hood, for a family always looks out for each other” to which Jason says, “Yeah but a family also needs to earn each other’s trust” and Bruce continues his speech with, “comes a time when having to keep earning someone’s trust stops and you hope the people you’ve put your faith in will always have your back no matter what”.

Batman, everyone, master detective and master manipulator.

As Batman is talking manipulating Jason he beats every bounty hunter almost effortlessly because he had brought some bat-gadgets that were going to make the fight really easy. And as the fight is over in what looks like a minute Batman and Red Hood get on the Batmobile ready to leave Ethiopia… or not.

Jason is very aware that Batman didn’t need him for that so-called mission so he starts to ask more and more firmly about the real reason as to why Batman brought him to this place.

Batman brought Jason back to Ethiopia, but most importantly back to the Magdala Valley because he wants to see if Jason going back to the place where he died will make him remember how he was resurrected.

Yep, talk about having messed-up parents. Bruce is positively the worst at this moment, but it gets worse.

Jason is rightfully pissed off, he says, “You lied to me, this wasn’t about taking down those mercenaries. You wanted to bring me here, to the worst place in the world and here I was starting to believe all your crap about trust and faith...”

To which Bruce says, “I thought bringing you here could jog your memory, maybe retrieve a detail buried deep in your subconscious that could help piece together how you came back to life so I…”

And my man Jason really continues his thought process only to later tell him how much of a piece of shit he truly is (I love this Chonky, go Jason show this man that he ain’t shit).

“…could apply it to getting Damian back. Yeah, I get it. Did it ever occur to you I might like keeping whatever the hell happened to me buried deep? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t want me to dredge up the one thing I’ve been trying to forget. I don’t want to remember the most horrific day of my life all right? You may like wallowing in your tragedies, Bruce, but I’m done looking back!”

Jason, bravo, tell him exactly how you feel! Any sort of good human being would surely accept that they crossed a massive line and that they should ask for forgiveness next, right?... Right?

No. And that’s because Bruce is a horrible human being, I am sorry but it had to be said, this man has zero empathy for Jason and he proves it when he says the following.

“If you cared about me and what I’ve lost, you’d want to dredge this up! Don’t you see, there is a chance you can help me erase one of the worst days of MY life, Jason! You can give me the greatest gift of all and help me figure out how to bring my son back”

Fuck Bruce Wayne. This man has no right whatsoever to talk this way to Jason, no matter how you see this situation, the whole thing is fucked up. Bruce puts his needs above Jason’s feelings and he diminishes Jason’s position as his son because Bruce only refers to Damian as his son. This whole thing is incredibly nasty.

Here we should have had the point of no return for Jason and Bruce’s relationship, although if you are like me, you might think that the point of no return happened way back in Batman (1940) #650 when Bruce decided that saving the Joker by throwing a batarang at Jason’s neck (how did he know that Jason would survive that, I have no idea, maybe Bruce can see the future) was a better option compared to Jason finally killing the clown. Because that’s the thing, Jason was going to kill the clown but Bruce didn’t let him because he didn’t want more blood in Jason’s hands, I laugh until this day about how stupid Bruce’s thinking was there.

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that Jason should have said bye-bye to Batman and all related Batman crap from this moment on. It would have been perfect but DC can’t help themselves and Lobdell’s self-insert-Jason really wants to be part of this amazing family so, no luck for Jason or us.

If you have read my latest post about Joker getting under Jason’s skin or read issue #18 of RHatO you know the context of what Jason says next.

“Yeah, and how about me? How about the gift of not knowing that the Joker manipulated my entire life, huh? The clown tainted everything, the good, the bad, hell my life’s even been tainted by you!”

Yup, Jason was going through it, and he had talked about these feelings with Bruce previously in issue #17 of RHatO, he had asked Bruce if he thought that Joker had created him and Bruce said, “No Jason, He didn’t make you, I never did either. You made you” and Jason was extremely thankful for that. And now, here we are, these feelings are being brought up again but in a very different situation.

Them arguing becomes a physical fight and after Jason asks Bruce “why are you making me stand in the exact same spot he beat me to death?” He replies this “Because I want to watch Damian grow up damn it! Damian earned that right! And I want to give it to him!”

This conversation only gets worse and Bruce’s most horrible side comes to light, like, I understand that Bruce wants Damian to be alive and all that but he is saying all the wrong stuff to Jason. I feel like as the reader I am being told that Bruce values Damian more than he ever did Jason because he is willing to put Jason through his own personal hell for Damian but refuses to see the reasons as to why Jason doesn’t want to do it. Bruce is being incredibly selfish and he is not caring enough about Jason to notice that he is hurting him. He even doesn’t notice after Jason says, “I was ready to stand by your side and you’ve thrown it all away!”

It is incredibly sad but it's also a bit of a look into what Bruce will do to Dick in Nightwing vol. 3 #30. It has the exact same vibe in both issues, Bruce going completely berserk on his children and telling them that he “trained them to be better”.

This issue ends with Jason punching Bruce several times and Bruce taunting Jason by telling him that he might as well continue because he is “still standing”. The levels of manipulation that Bruce had going on here weren’t as high as the ones in Nightwing #30 but he sure was a little bitch every step of the way.

Jason, being smart, doesn’t take the bait and tells Bruce that he is leaving and he is taking the car.

Wouldn’t this have been an amazing moment for Jason to finally rid himself of all Batman-related events and bullshit? How did DC miss this amazing opportunity to make Jason Todd/Red Hood a character that can stand on his own and with his own rules?

The potential that was wasted when they made Jason go back to Bruce and help him get Damian back in issues 33 to 37 of this same run is immeasurable. And just like Joker being able to get under Jason’s skin, him going back to Bruce and the “family” for plot purposes harmed Jason’s characterization greatly.

Batman and Robin (2011) #34-37 – Written by Peter Tomasi.

Whatever kind of respect I held for Tomasi because of the way he wrote Jason in #20 is now gone. Issues 34 to 37 have Jason fighting alongside Batman and him being all buddy-buddy with him.

Now, let me make something clear, Bruce wanting to bring Damian back to life/from Apokolips is absolutely fine with me, a father fighting for his son’s life can always make a good story, the thing is that at this point in time not only the events of Batman and Robin #20 have happened but so have the events of Nightwing #30.

So, Bruce going through all of this for one of his kids (that keeps being brought up as if he were his only son) after he emotionally manipulated Jason and Dick makes this story very bitter.

But I understand what DC is doing, you know? Here is how they manage to make this story as bitter-sweet as possible. In issue 34 of this run, Dick shows up in his Spyral get-up and offers his help in getting Damian back, because the kid meant a lot to him but Bruce can’t have Dick helping him out along with Barbara and Tim because Bruce has everyone convinced that Dick is dead. So, DC was like “here is this big brain idea, let’s have Jason, Barbara, and Tim helping Bruce get Damian back”. And that’s exactly what they did.

They dragged Jason back to Batman-related crap after he was manipulated, insulted, and punched by the man that is supposed to be his father. And this issue is also happening after Jason had such an immense existential crisis that he decided to have his memory wiped so he could cleanse himself on any doubt that the Joker had manipulated his free will.

How on earth are we supposed to believe that Jason is dumb enough to go back to Batman after all that? Does DC and its writers read their own material? Do they check if the characters that they are planning on using have contradicting narratives?

It’s so messy, the opportunity that DC, Tynion, Tomasi, and Lobdell got to make Jason his own man and his own character was completely wasted, just for a Batman event!

And it isn’t like Jason’s participation in getting Damian back was crucial, it really wasn’t, if I am planning on taking a team of heroes to Apokolips for a rescue mission, Jason, Barbara and Tim wouldn’t be my first options. Jason was put in that book only so they could have someone making snarky comments and for Jason to be like “Bruce we are family, we will always have each other’s backs” I mean, who is Jason supposed to be, Dom Toretto?

Here are some of the moments that seemed the most out of touch for Jason in these issues.

Batman and Robin #34

In issue 34 Bruce gives a long speech about him not wanting to hide things anymore from them (like he did during the events of Death of the Family) and that he wants a new start because they “have been broken long enough” so from that moment forward “good or bad, the truth rules”.

The audacity of this man, my god, how dense can Bruce be? “we’ve been broken long enough”? YOU have broken your relationship with these people time and time again! As you are standing there talking about the truth you are hiding the fact that Dick is alive and well somewhere far away because YOU sent him on a very dangerous mission after he died and you manipulated him.

THE AUDACITY OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT! Am I becoming an anti-Batman blog? I think I am and quite honestly, I am having the time of my life. Fuck this guy.

But back to the issue, after Bruce says that the truth is all that goes now, Barbara basically says that she doesn’t believe him, that all it takes for Bruce to go back to lying is “another situation that justifies you going dark on us in more ways than one” HA! You go, girl! But he is already hiding something from all of you.

Jason being himself supplies a situation like the ones where Batman lies to them in order to get them to work for him, he says, “or bringing me to Magdala Valley on a sightseeing trip to reminisce about the good old days of crowbars and explosions”, ah yes, sure, Bruce did all that back in issue 20 and now it is brought up as an afterthought… how wonderful.

Bruce, of course, lies to their faces when he says “I promise that nothing gets held back. We speak our mind no matter what the cost” to which Jason says “Unconditional truth now and forever, Bruce, otherwise this is all a load of crap”.

AND IT IS! IT IS ALL A LOAD OF CRAP CHONKY! RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!

Man, what a mess, poor Dick. He had to wait there and watch his father lie his ass off. And he really wanted to help Bruce get Damian back. Even after Bruce told Dick (as well as Barbara, Tim, and Jason) that he had to go to Apokolips alone Dick still helped Bruce in other ways, Dick really is the MVP, what a man, I love him so much!

(I really needed to show my love for Dick right then and there, sometimes you just have to do it. Dick Grayson is, after all, the greatest comic character to have ever been created).

Batman and Robin #36

First of all, seeing Jason and Barbara wearing the Robin symbol really makes me laugh. It’s just weird to see Barbara wear it, it almost feels like it’s something that shouldn’t have happened and in Jason’s case, well, the last time he wore it he died and it’s kinda funny to see beefy and tall Red Hood wearing a Robin symbol, it’s just funny not a critique.

What I am going to critique from this issue is that after they (Jason, Barbara, and Tim) go to Apokolips and find Bruce they say, “You’re here in this hellish place for your son, Bruce” and Jason continues that with, “And we’re here for you”.

Ah, the irony. Of all people, having Jason say that to Bruce is wild. This man has done nothing for Jason and here Jason is, in Apokolips, of all places, to help a man that does not deserve it. This is proof that Jason is a good man but its also proof that he is an idiot in the New 52, I am sorry but come on, writing Jason this way after what Bruce did to him in issue 20 seems like DC is confirming the fact that even though Batman does the most horrible stuff to his kids, he can still get away with it because his kids still love him all the same.

I understand, loving your parents when they are flawed but Bruce had been written at this time like an abusive father, and he was written like that towards Jason and Dick, so it is not a good look. Bruce saying that he promises that he won’t do it anymore isn’t enough DC, make the man pay for being that way, make his kids stay away from him for a while (or forever).

And here is the other thing, I say that Bruce is Jason and Dick’s father but DC doesn’t, they only acknowledge Damian as Bruce’s son and they do it because the New 52 timeline is non-existent. After all, they deleted a lot of history from these characters, I think it’s fair to assume that Bruce never adopted Dick or Jason and that both of them were Robin for a very short time. What I am trying to say with this is that not only is Bruce getting away with being abusive but he is also getting away with being an abusive father. Because Bruce is their father, at least I see it that way, he isn’t just his friend/mentor/tutor he is their father. He used to be before New 52 and that’s not something that we as the readers are ready or want to let go of.

All in all, Jason didn’t do much in these issues thus confirming (to me, at least) that the only reason he was invited to the party was because they couldn’t use Dick. And that’s an insult to Jason’s character, it would have been better if Jason didn’t appear in this story and he actually had the chance to do something else, like go back to being the proper Red Hood, an anti-hero that does what Batman won’t do for Gotham and its people.

#jason todd #red hood #batman and robin #batman #robin #dc comics #batman and red hood #dick grayson #nightwing

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versegm · 2 years

Note

Gonna keep sending this so: headcanon ask for Xander fireemblem?

Ah yes our boy Xander [clenches fists] this fucking bitch,

Headcanon A: realistic

The reason why Garon let him keep/assigned him as retainers a serial killer & some dude picked off the streets is because the Nohr family policy is "well if the kids die they die, should have tried being a lil less weak lol" and Xander took advantage of that.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

He strikes me as the most likely person to accidentally get into a cult + he doesn't know jack shit about magic, so he probably ends up buying every scammy "if you don't wear this seven years of misfortune will befall you" amulets he comes across. In a modern setting he'd be the guy to fall for every spam email about """helping out a friend who got lost in canada""" and stuff. It's fine tho he can afford it. It's good for the economy.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

I don't think he's the eldest of the Nohr family to be born. I think he had older brothers and sisters. I think he even killed a few of them in the concubine wars.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

This is my blog and I get to stray off-topic and be self indulgent if I damn want to. Anyway for all Xander talk about the horror of war and how the world is inherently unfair ect ect he's actually... very sheltered when it comes to that kinda shit. Like. He's a noble. He only sees wars as battles that may or may not be honorable and glorious. He doesn't know about all the ways war affect people aside from teh obvious stabby bits. He doesn't know about disease, or hunger, or displaced populations.

Actually he's just very sheltered concerning the world outside of the tiny noble bubble in general. He knows the world can be harsh (see: concubine war) but he doesn't understand, for exemple, that a retainer might have ulterior motives than politics. If someone has an agenda it must be related to the royal family somehow, whether it's protecting them or trying to assassinate them. The idea of a retainer, say, only being here for money, or being willing to chose their life over their lord's, is completely foreign to him. He has no idea how the common people live.

#estoult #ask #important disclaimer that i think xander is a little bitch and i don't like him so it impacts my hcs of him

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ohthewhomanity · 4 years

Text

Okay so I was listening to @amorespatospodcast talk about “The First Adventure,” and they were talking about how interesting it is that Beakley was the director of SHUSH when it dissolved, and how double-interesting it is that Beakley recommended Bradford to Scrooge when she knew that there was a mole in the agency, and they also mentioned the feather from “The Split Sword of Swanstantine” a few times…

…and this theory popped into my head, and it’s so darn wacky, I don’t really expect this to be true at all, but still… what if…?

Ducktales spoilers below the cut… haha just kidding… unless…?

On the podcast, Anna and Fabi theorized that the feather that Heron nabbed in “Swanstantine” is Scrooge’s feather, and that it could be used to clone Scrooge and create a “rightful heir of McDuck” that would allow FOWL to find the Papyrus. I like the sound of this, especially since we know that super-fast cloning IS possible in Ducktales, what with all the Gyro clones. Bradford has shown that with the help of agents like Gandra Dee, he is able to use/hijack Gyro and Fenton’s technology. FOWL wouldn’t have to wait years and years to grow an heir; they can just do it with the tech they stole. All they needed was a DNA sample: Scrooge’s feather.

But why do they need the feather now? Why didn’t they take one years ago, in all those decades of Bradford running Scrooge’s business? Bradford has clearly been calmly and quietly planning his moves for years. Why wait until Scrooge is onto him to put this plan in motion?

My answer: he didn’t wait. FOWL did take a DNA sample from Scrooge years ago. This is the second time that Bradford has tried to create a “rightful heir of McDuck.” And the first time? He succeeded!

Beakley was working with Bradford in the time of “First Adventure.” Absolutely she was. She’s the best spy in the world and she doesn’t trust anyone, so there’s nothing that Bradford could’ve said to her to make her trust him, unless she knew what he was all about. And Beakley, at some point while she was an agent of SHUSH, figured out what Bradford and FOWL were up to, and was swayed to Bradford’s side.

Beakley is not an agent of chaos. She does not encourage Scrooge to go on reckless adventures. She was happy to be his housekeeper while he was depressed for ten years, and she wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about him seeking out Atlantis in the pilot. If I remember right, she says she has more than enough adventure in her life raising Webby, and while she encourages Scrooge to talk to his grandnephews, since she values family, she doesn’t tell Scrooge to take them on an adventure. In fact, Scrooge makes a point of telling the kids to not tell Beakley that they’re going, as though he knows she wouldn’t approve.

When Beakley joins the adventure gang in “Last Crash of the Sunchaser,” she is appalled to learn that Scrooge regularly puts the kids – particularly Webby – in danger. I can 100% imagine strict, meticulous, rule-abiding Beakley hearing Bradford’s pitch about controlling the world to stop terrible, chaotic things from happening anymore, and thinking, “Huh, sure, I’m on board with order!”

“But what about ‘The Case Files of Agent 22?’” you ask. “Beakley was working with Scrooge against FOWL then!”

Well, it all depends on exactly when Beakley caught onto Bradford and he gave her his pitch. It could be that the flashbacks we see in “Case Files” are before this, and Beakley is completely above-board at this point. It’s also possible that Beakley is already working with Bradford.

Think about how protocol-oriented she is in this episode. She wants to do things by the book. She hates that Scrooge is going off the rails and changing the plan. She learns to like and respect him over the course of the episode, but the way she reacts to Scrooge’s loose-cannon nature reminds me a lot of how Bradford reacts to Heron in “First Adventure.” Scrooge also encourages Beakley to lighten up in a similar way to how Heron encourages Bradford to embrace his inner villain. Order versus chaos. Control versus adventure.

Maybe Heron had gone off the rails and started acting super extra villain-ish, creating a secret island laboratory and trying to use the Gummi Berries herself instead of just collecting/destroying them like Bradford would have wanted, and so Bradford asked Beakley to reign her in, and she did so in a way that aligned with SHUSH’s agenda, too. After all, she’s a spy; she could easily have ulterior motives for her actions. Along the way, she befriends Scrooge. And if Scrooge trusts and likes Beakley, this helps FOWL. It means that when Bradford finally decides to take a more active role in taking over the world, Beakley can tell Scrooge to let Bradford control his business.

So. We’ve got Bradford trying to take over the world, and we’ve got Beakley – the director of SHUSH – secretly working with him. And now Bradford has access to Scrooge’s finances and technologies. And, Bradford still wants the Papyrus. Maybe he’s going to just keep it. Maybe he just wants to make sure that the McDuck family doesn’t get it. Maybe he’s going to use it to get what he wants – total control of a completely orderly, boring world. The important thing is, to find the Papyrus, Bradford needs a McDuck heir.

Hence the cloning. Bradford gets close enough to Scrooge to get a feather, or some more significant DNA sample. But that’s not all he needs. Anna and Fabi pointed out that a clone wouldn’t necessarily be an “heir.” It would just be a copy. Bradford would need someone else’s DNA to combine with it.

Now, whose DNA would Bradford use? Who would he want to take a sample from? Who does Bradford have on hand who knows what he’s planning and isn’t a total villainous loose cannon?

Answer: Beakley.

It takes a long time. They don’t have Gyro to mooch off of; he’s in Japan, and even when Scrooge does hire him, he hasn’t developed his own cloning technology yet. So when they do finally create the clone, it’s a baby. They’re going to have to wait for it to grow up and be able to find the Papyrus for them.

Meanwhile, Scrooge doesn’t notice any of this, because he’s having a grand old time roaming the world with Donald and Della, creating plenty of chaos for Bradford to hate.

And then – the Spear of Selene. Della vanishes. Donald takes the eggs and leaves. Scrooge is grief-struck.

And so, I think, is Beakley.

I think Beakley has grown attached to the clone-baby, much more than she expected to, and much more than Bradford or anyone else in FOWL has. And I think Beakley, seeing her friend so affected by the loss of his family, suddenly started thinking about how terrible she would feel if something were to happen to this baby. And with Bradford in control, with Bradford who clearly doesn’t understand the power or importance of family using this baby as a tool in his plans, something terrible is bound to happen to this baby.

So she, like Donald, took the baby and ran.

Maybe she struck a deal with Bradford. Maybe she said, “Look, Scrooge isn’t going on any adventures anymore. You don’t have to worry about him creating chaos. Just keep on controlling the world using the money of the richest duck in the world, and you’ll have what you want. As the director of SHUSH, I’ll tell everyone that FOWL was defeated, and dissolve SHUSH so no one will look into your work anymore. I’ll even go keep an eye on Scrooge, and I’ll let you know if he does start adventuring again. Just let me keep the baby.”

And Bradford said yes.

And Beakley told the baby that she was her grandmother.

And Beakley spent the next decade telling her granddaughter not to bother Scrooge. Remember that that is the reason Webby gives in “Case Files” when Scrooge asks why they haven’t gone on adventures together before – Beakley told her not to bother Scrooge. Beakley didn’t want Scrooge adventuring, and she didn’t want Webby in danger.

Fast forward to “Moonvasion.” Bradford has been content this long to quietly control the world, since Scrooge hasn’t been running around causing chaos. But now, the McDuck family has caused an alien invasion of Earth. And like Bradford says, you can’t control the world if the world is destroyed.

So he goes back to his original plan. Collect the magical artifacts that the McDucks and related villains might use to cause chaos. And, importantly, find the Papyrus, the most dangerous of them all.

But, again, he needs the rightful heir of McDuck. There’s a couple potential heirs running around to choose from, but again, there’s only one person who Scrooge McDuck trusts that Bradford has reason to think he could control.

So Bradford contacts Beakley and tells her to bring Webby to him. And we know – Frank Angones has confirmed this – that Beakley would do anything to protect Webby. To protect her physically, and also, as we learned in “Lost Harp of Mervana,” to protect Webby’s perception of Beakley as a good person. The last thing Beakley wants to do now is expose Webby to FOWL and let her discover the truth.

Beakley would do anything to protect Webby. So she agrees to help Bradford create a new clone. She’s a true double agent, actively and sincerely working with both sides. In “Escape from the Impossibin,” she is both serving as a part of the distraction to keep the family from noticing the theft of the missing mysteries until it’s too late (which puts Scrooge in a hurry, sending him out into the field in “Swanstantine,” giving Heron the chance to grab the feather), and she’s also trying to prepare Webby for the very real possibility of having to fight her own family, Beakley included.

Only the best spy in the world – which Beakley is! – could pull something like this off. The thought of losing Webby (both physically and emotionally – if Webby finds out that Beakley betrayed Scrooge, Beakley could lose Webby forever) scares and upsets Beakley enough for her to betray everyone else she cares about, and even sell out the entire world to Bradford.

TL;DR, Beakley is the mole, she initially joined FOWL because she likes order but now is working with them to protect Webby, Webby is a potential rightful heir of Scrooge McDuck, and FOWL is cloning a new heir.

…and now, after rereading this whole thing for typos, I actually kind of buy my own cracky theory. Wow.

And now I’m imagining a future callback to “Last Crash,” when Scrooge told Webby that she wasn’t family, with Beakley standing right there to hear it, which he still to this day has not apologized for. What if Beakley, desperate not to lose her granddaughter, used that painful memory to try to convince Webby that betraying Scrooge to protect her was the right thing to do?

#ducktales #webby vanderquack #scrooge mcduck #ducktales 2017 #dt 2017 #ducktales theory #bentina beakley #bradford buzzard #ducktales spoilers #ducktales season 3 #the split sword of swanstantine #the first adventure #the last crash of the sunchaser #from the confidential case files of agent 22 #moonvasion #fowl #shush #amores patos podcast #i mean if nothing else I'll make this the backstory of AYHAPII if I don't like what canon does

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bluerose5 · 3 years

Text

The Ghost of Paradise (Exile AU)

Chapter 2: By the Minute

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,796

Tags: Mass Effect: Andromeda, Scott Ryder, Reyes Vidal, Reyder, Pre-Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Exile, Flirting, Secrets, Complicated Relationships, Eventual Romance, Rivalry, Engineer/Mechanic Scott Ryder, Jealousy

[Read it here as well on ao3.]

“Our agents say that you were speaking with Reyes Vidal at Kralla’s,” Nola said. She didn’t even give Scott a chance to breathe. The second he was through their gates —which were still a work in progress— Scott was ambushed. “Do I even want to know what you have planned?”

Scott grinned at her.

“Why must I always have something planned?” Scott asked. “Reyes is a good friend. For all you know, we could have been catching up over drinks.”

“‘Could have’ doesn’t mean that you were.”

“Fair enough.”

As she fell into step at his side, Nola led him around while they spoke, appraising their growing community with pride.

“Scott, as governor of Paradise, should I not be made aware of any transactions that might affect us?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“Tell me what I need to know then. Nothing more, nothing less.”

As if he could refuse her insistent prodding. Every time he left, he always forgot how relentless she could be upon his return, but only when it pertained to matters that could have both predictable and unforeseen effects in their future.

In a way, Scott was grateful to have someone with that type of dedication on their side. They’re going to need it.

“I swear, it wasn’t anything particularly groundbreaking,” Scott promised. “I gave him some seeds from our latest project in exchange for a long-ranged scanner modification. That’s it.”

“Hmm… A decent enough trade.”

“Glad to have your approval.”

Of course, it was too much to hope that she would leave it at that.

“What is it for?” Nola asked.

Scott knew from experience not to lie to her face.

He sighed. “I’m going to scout out some of the Remnant ruins nearby. See if I can get a read on their bots, or a turret if I’m lucky.”

She cocked her head to the side and considered that for a moment, lips pursed.

“Promise to be careful then. I know you would gladly give your life to protect any of these people, but we don’t need you to throw it away because of pure recklessness,” she reminded him. “If it comes down to an altercation, we would rather have you here than some lousy turret schematics. Besides—” She shrugged. “You would probably be the only one who could make sense of them anyways. You and that stupidly genius brain of yours.”

Scott scoffed, suddenly uncomfortable as he shifted in place.

“Got it from my parents, or so they say.”

Ellen and Alec Ryder. The woman who literally gave her life to perfect biotic implants and the man who created a whole new type of AI. Quite the legacy to live up to.

Good thing Scott wasn’t living his life based on their achievements. Andromeda was a whole different playing field compared to the Milky Way. The work he was doing with Paradise was incredible in its own right. At least, he liked to think so.

If he could change at least one person’s life for the better in Andromeda, then he considered that a success.

Based on the feedback he was receiving from the residents, he was doing a damn good job, and that was enough for him.

But Nola had a point.

People relied on Scott now. As much as he was willing to dive headfirst into danger, he needed to refrain from doing so.

“I’ll be careful,” he promised her. “If things start to go south, I’ll ping you and Nakamoto.”

“Thank you,” she said, breathing a sigh of relief.

Scott hated to worry her so, but there was that one other matter.

“If it’s any consolation to you,” Scott said, trying for a lighter tone yet failing, “Reyes offered to accompany me on the trip.”

Nola stopped short, and Scott skidded to a halt. She narrowed her eyes at him with a sneer curling at her lip.

“No, that is not of any consolation to me. Scott Ryder, you know how he is.”

“Charming and witty?” Scott tried for his best smile, but Nola wasn’t buying into that bullshit, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Flighty and untrustworthy, especially once his back is against the wall.” Then, she amended her statement, taking on a slightly accusatory tone. “That’s assuming you didn’t pay any of his ridiculous service fees.”

“Puh-lease.” Scott chuckled. “If anyone should be spending their credits, Reyes should be the one paying me for my company. I’m a treasure not many can afford.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Nola snorted, “but at least you know your worth.”

“They say that time is money, after all. I’ll make sure to charge him by the minute while we’re together.”

“Please do, and make sure to get a picture of his face once you show him that bill.”

Scott was only happy to see her smile again.

“Will do,” he said.

“While you’re at it, drop a few hints here and there that Paradise might be looking to contract out some exclusive deals with top-rate smugglers. Leave out the ‘top-rate’ part, of course. Can’t have that going to the poor man's head.”

“His ego is already insufferable enough without the compliments,” Scott agreed, “but isn’t the whole point of secrecy for you and I not to draw attention to our connections here?”

“A woman can dream though, can’t she?” Nola sighed.

“So much for Reyes being ‘untrustworthy.’”

Nola didn’t even hesitate, brushing off his attempt to use her words against her.

“Skill is skill, and we don’t exactly have the people or resources to be picky right now. Everything is a commodity on Kadara, even integrity. If he betrays us, we’ll deal with him, simple as that.”

Right.

Still, it was laughable to think that the Charlatan would take on a contract with some of his direct competitors.

Although, that sounds like exactly the type of stunt that Reyes would pull. More than likely, he’d have an ulterior motive for doing so, but Scott could see it happening.

Did he support the idea, though? Definitely not.

“I don’t know,” Scott muttered. “I couldn’t see Reyes limiting his business to one group, especially if we’re only starting to get our feet wet.”

“You would know how he operates better than I, but I suppose that attitude is understandable. Disappointing, but understandable.” Nola grumbled. “Well, if nothing else, tell him the least he could do is give you a discount.”

“Trust me, I’ve been working that angle for a while. No such luck.”

“Greedy bastard.”

As they finished up their routine patrol, they soon switched direction, heading towards Nakamoto's clinic to conclude their meeting. There, Paradise’s leaders convened. They reviewed the requests that their colonists posted on the message boards around the settlement. Together, they decided on what matters they could approve for certain and which ones would be placed on the docket for a community vote. After that, they moved on to logistics, including topics such as requisitions and inventory.

To draw the meeting to a close, Nola relayed their latest numbers for colonial development. Water production was steady. However, food stores would be struggling soon to keep up with the recent influx of residents, so security personnel and all of those who knew their way around a gun were strongly encouraged to increase hunting and foraging activities while out on patrols or while performing their daily tasks. A roster will be posted on the local message boards to look for volunteers who would like to fill a full-time hunter-gatherer role.

Hopefully, what few angaran scientists they had amongst their people would be able to process their first batch of nutrient paste after their next harvest. It wasn’t exactly the tastiest solution available, but it was a necessary one if they were to survive.

In terms of population, there was a rapid spike in enrollment when word spread that Paradise actually got shit done and held true to their promises, but they expected the effect to eventually plateau once people settled in. Angara enrollment was up at the moment, especially after Scott appointed Nola as governor, and they have even seen a few Initiative members join up, having made the journey all the way from the Nexus to be reunited with friends, family, and loved ones.

Scott asked that they spread word for people to be warm and welcoming. The request probably wasn’t necessary, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Their community would make no friends by tearing people apart, and they prided themselves on being close and tight-knit.

It was important that they not only claimed to be but that they acted like it as well, backing up their words with actions.

Security assignments were then posted. Patrols would have to be upped to make up for an increase that they were seeing with gang-related attacks. Once automated security measures were in place, they would revisit the matter in order to assess which sectors needed heightened security. Emergency drills would be held at the end of the week.

With all of their needs addressed, Nola called the meeting to a close.

Once the meeting was adjourned, Scott approached Nola and their Head of Security, requesting a full census to be done within a day's time. Scott needed names, numbers, faces. Each citizen’s profile needed to be updated within their database.

If Scott was going to make an effective defense matrix for the colony, then he would prefer to program an IFF system that only a select few could remotely activate. For the system to work as intended, all of the colonists' photo IDs and biometric profiles would need to be kept current and constantly updated in real-time.

Nola promised to see to it that Scott got what he needed, shooing him off.

Apparently, he was hovering, but Scott could take a hint. He could tell when he was no longer needed, and he knew that Nola worked best when he wasn’t constantly worrying after her like a mother hen.

Departing from the settlement, Scott cloaked himself the second he went beyond the boundaries of their walls.

He was almost halfway back to Port when he received a message from Reyes. Figuring that he was in the clear, Scott made sure that the coast was clear before deactivating his cloak.

Pulling up his omni-tool’s interface, Scott opened the message. Along with it, there was a set of coordinates, sent from Reyes’s location.

R: Think I’m ready to cash in on those shuttle repairs. Wouldn’t mind the company right about now.

Scott’s fingers hovered above the holographic keys, contemplating his next move before deciding to hell with it.

S: Miss me that much?

R: Am I that obvious?

He didn’t even give Scott a chance to reply before he sent another message.

R: If it’s still in question though, let me put it bluntly.

R: I want to see you.

Scott pursed his lips, cursing his stupid heart for racing in response.

S: Give me a few. I’ll be there.

R: I’ll be looking forward to it.

Before he could embarrass himself, Scott closed out his messages. He quickly made his way to Port, grabbing his bag of tools and gear before venturing back out into the badlands.

From there, Scott followed the coordinates to a cliff, overlooking a nearby valley. The sun was slowly but surely sinking down over the horizon, lightning up the sky in array of pinks and oranges and reds.

Reyes was already waiting for him by the time he arrived, the shuttle powered down for the moment.

However, the second Scott noticed that Reyes was facing away from him, he instantly slowed his walk to a crawl. He bent his knees into a slight crouch and shifted his weight with each step, toe to heel as he snuck his way up behind him.

“You look like you’re waiting for someone.”

Scott delighted in watching him him jump in shock, only to have a blade at his throat in the blink of an eye.

As soon as Reyes realized who it was, all the blood drained from his face.

“S–Scott!”

Hands raised in surrender, Scott raised an eyebrow at him incredulously.

“You know, I was kind of expecting a warmer welcome,” he admitted, careful of the firaan's sharp edge. Keema must have given it to him. “Have to say, though, would it be weird if I was a little turned on right now?”

Reyes scoffed.

Trailing the blade along the outline of his throat, Scott swallowed thickly when he eventually felt its pointed tip press underneath his chin. Reyes tilted it up, and Scott followed, lest he risk being cut.

Their eyes met, and Reyes smirked.

Bastard was toying with him.

Retracting his knife, Reyes sheathed the firaan while Scott tried to catch his breath. The goosebumps left behind in the dagger's wake soon receded, yet a warm heat lingered.

“Tsk.” Reyes huffed at him. “Ryder—”

Uh-oh, back to last name basis. From experience, that meant trouble.

“You know better than to sneak up on me!” Reyes scolded.

“I do,” Scott said, not even afraid to acknowledge it, “but I love getting a rise out of you.”

“What if I would have hurt you?”

“But you didn’t.”

Scowling, Reyes placed his hands on his hips. Shaking his head, he pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“Scott, what the hell am I going to do with you?” he asked, releasing his nose, half-fond and half-frustrated.

“I’m sure we could think of something.”

Reyes hummed in agreement, watching Scott approach the shuttle with his bag tossed over his shoulder. He dropped it to the ground, then immediately got to work.

Watching him closely, Reyes leaned against the side of his shuttle with a thoughtful look.

“Maybe I could take you on a date?”

While Reyes tried to sound confident, his attempt ultimately failed. Instead of forming the words into a bold offer, they fell flat, sounding more like an uncertain question.

Scott stopped what he was doing. He spared Reyes a brief glance, only to return his attention to the task at hand, hiding his flushed face.

“Wouldn’t Zia disapprove?” Scott asked, being rougher than necessary as he practically took apart the control panel.

Envy curled inside him, spreading like an infection through his bloodstream. There was a sharp squeeze around his heart as it was encased in the feeling.

Reyes called him out on it, way too perceptive for his own good.

“Ryder, are you jealous?” Reyes chuckled.

Scott glared, causing him to throw his hands up in surrender.

“Just asking.”

“And if I am?” Scott retorted.

“Then I’d have to put your mind at ease.”

“It’s really none of my busin—”

Reyes closed the distance between them. Reaching out, he cupped Scott’s cheek, brushing his thumb along his bottom lip. Weak as he was, Scott leaned into his touch for a split second. His eyes threatened to flutter closed, but he had to remain firm about this one matter, if nothing else.

As he started to pull away, Reyes said, “There is nothing going on between Zia and I.” Scott froze into place. “We went out for drinks a few times, nothing more.”

“You swear?” Scott asked, narrowing his eyes.

“I swear.” His voice grew heated, impassioned. “I might be a bad man when it comes to many things, but I wouldn’t ever lie about that to you.”

Scott considered that before replying, “Well, like I said—” He cleared his throat, eyes averted. “ It’s not really any of my business, so I don’t know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.”

He trailed off, uncertain why he was acting that way.

Reyes furrowed his brow.

“No need to be sorry. If you had crossed a line, then I would have said so.”

“Even then, you’re not mine. Your relationships are your own.”

“I could be.”

Scott regarded him skeptically.

“Could be what?”

“Yours,” Reyes answered instantly, staring intently at Scott. “Just say the word.”

If only they weren’t both keeping secrets from each other at the moment, then Scott might take him up on that.

Turns out, being with the Charlatan would be a huge conflict of interests. Who could’ve guessed?

Silence settled between them. It was as if the whole world was awaiting Scott’s answer with bated breath. Time itself seemed to stand still in anticipation.

“I—” He struggled to find the right words. “Give me time.”

That’s all he could ask.

Reyes’s hopeful expression fell, and that alone felt like a stab to the chest. Scott's breathing trembled a little, as if it was becoming difficult to continue drawing in one breath after another.

God, he didn’t want to hurt him, but neither of them could really afford to rush into things half-cocked.

Scott copied his earlier gesture, reaching out to cup Reyes’s cheek. The change was almost instantaneous, how the tension drained away, only for Reyes to melt into Scott’s touch. He leaned into his hand, starved for affection.

Scott swallowed thickly, unable to pull away, let alone take his eyes off of him for even a second.

“All I ask is that you give me time,” Scott repeated. “That’s not a ‘no.’ I just need to think a few things over, iron out a few details.”

Reyes listened, then agreed.

“Alright.” He pulled away with a small, private smile. “As if I could deny anyone such a reasonable request, especially you.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Returning his attention to the shuttle, Scott got back to work. After all, he didn’t want to neglect the poor bird, and it appeared that the shuttle was in desperate need of a little TLC.

His diagnostics only confirmed his suspicions.

When a couple of sparks resulted from his prodding, Scott chastised Reyes for mistreating their baby. Reyes grew defensive, both of them falling back to old habits as they bickered.

This was the type of work that Scott did on the Nexus after he got sidelined and shafted. Systems repairs, shuttle repairs, routine maintenance… That sorta thing.

It was how he met Reyes to begin with. Few pilots had the energy to hang around and talk shop with Scott while he worked, especially since a lot of them had only recently returned from failed colonization efforts. Understandably, most people didn’t want to entertain idle conversation after watching their friends die out in the field.

That was fine by Scott, but Reyes had always gone out of his way —even then— to make sure that Scott had anything and everything that he needed.

They might have taken his shuttle out on a few joyrides together, gotten in trouble for wasting fuel, but Scott wouldn’t trade that time they spent together for anything in the galaxy.

Even now, it felt natural to settle back into their old routine. While Scott worked, Reyes watched, and they talked about anything and everything.

Time passed, and Scott only got deeper into the repairs and modifications. Despite the setting sun, he still broke a sweat, a light sheen glistening upon his skin.

Eventually, he had to take off his shirt, leaving him in a plain tank top that quickly got dirty along with his hands.

Swiping at the perspiration beading at his hairline, Scott grunted as he came to a stopping point for now. He reached for his bag, but what he was seeking wasn’t there.

“Shit.”

Turning towards Reyes, Scott huffed at him.

The bastard wasn’t even trying to hide his staring. Face flushed, he was biting teasingly at his bottom lip, brown eyes dark as he watched Scott through a hooded gaze.

Getting to his feet, Scott crossed his arms over his chest.

“See something you like?”

“Definitely.”

“You’re shameless.” Scott shook his head in disbelief, tsking under his breath. “You’re just as bad as that one time when Gil Brodie asked for a ‘second opinion’ on some fix he made. Turns out, I ended up doing almost all of the work while he sat back and watched.”

“Smart man,” Reyes noted, giving Scott a thorough once-over. “This Gil must have great tastes.”

Scott snorted.

“Flattery will get you nowhere. If you really want to make me happy, then you would grab your water bottle for me.”

“Did you forget yours?” Reyes asked, slightly concerned. After all, being caught out in the badlands without water was just asking for dehydration or heat stroke.

Nevertheless, he got the bottle for him. Scott placed his hands over Reyes’s, shrugging with a flustered blush.

“Yeah,” Scott sighed. “I thought I had packed it! I don’t know where it could’ve wandered off to.”

“Perhaps you were in a bit of a rush to get here,” Reyes said, trailing off suggestively.

Scott figured that he would allow that.

“Perhaps,” he agreed, “but what else do I keep you around for, if not the water? You wouldn’t want the guy repairing your shuttle to get dehydrated, right?” Scott smirked. “I could get delirious, and it would be very unfortunate if I just so happened to forget to install an essential component.”

Reyes gasped dramatically, relinquishing the water to Scott, who was quick to take a swig.

“You always have to watch out for the pretty ones,” Reyes grumbled. “Always causing trouble, keeping secrets…”

There it was again. That sense of knowing , that sense that both of them were holding something back. It was left unsaid. Neither confronted the other about it, but they knew that the secrets were there.

Before the sudden lag in conversation could get too awkward, Scott took another swig of water and asked, “So, you think I’m pretty?”

Reyes chuckled, glad for the change of subject.

“Kian seems to think so,” he muttered. Leave it to him to avoid the question. “He keeps asking when you’re going to start working for him at Tartarus.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“As a dancer?” He had to make sure he was hearing right.

“Yep.”

“Could you imagine?” Scott scoffed. “Me, shaking my ass for money? A tempting offer. It would probably be more profitable than the odd jobs I take on here and there, but I think I’m fine where I’m at.”

“Damn,” Reyes sighed, “what a shame.”

Scott raised an eyebrow in his direction.

“You saying you would have come to watch me?”

“Not only that, but I would have paid to watch you,” Reyes said, “especially if I could have gotten a private show out of it.”

Scott tried to imagine it, grinning in spite of himself.

“What’s so funny?” Reyes wondered.

“Nothing, nothing,” Scott said, brushing off his concern. “That just made me remember a thought that I had earlier.”

“What about?”

“Oh, you know.” Scott gestured vaguely. “Just that I should start charging you a fee for when we spend time together.”

Reyes winked at him.

“It would be worth every credit.”

#mass effect #mass effect andromeda #scott ryder #reyes vidal #reyder #mreyder #my writing #my fanfic #scott ryder x reyes vidal #exile au #hopefully tumblr doesn't screw with the order of my paragraphs again :/

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scriptaed · 5 years

Text

his side, her side | 7:00 P.M.

genre: angst/fluff/implied smut; (bold = genre for this particular drabble)

pairing: reader x jungkook;

length: 2.9k;

synopsis: a collective snapshots in time shared between two, whose fates were undeniably intertwined and futures would never come to be.

a/n: this is not a chronological series; more so, his side her side is a collection of drabbles in which each drabble helps paint the overall picture. each drabble can be read separately without having read the others. // alternatively: his side, her side pt. 4;

her side;

Even if it pains you to admit, you knew that this—whatever it is between you and Jungkook—was more than just something… or at least to you, that is; because to part ways after an ephemeral five minute small talk right outside the company’s doors only to long for next week when your opportunity to relive what most would consider an insignificant five minutes of your seven days has to mean something.

That unequivocal something, however, would forever be a crush mislabeled as boredom.

“So how far do you live from work?”

Oh, shoot. Does that question seem too invasive? Peeping around at your chattering colleagues of whom gradually fade into the distance behind you two, you figure the coast is clear. The last thing you would want is to assume the new subject of your coworkers’ morning gossip rumors. You can just imagine it. Your stalkerish tendencies and your supposed obsession with the partner of your most recent project, Jungkook… they would call you a lonesome girl with fleeting emotions, willing to fall for any boy who gives her the slightest of attention.

That image, in itself, has been a nightmare you’ve grudgingly albeit successfully steered clear of.

It seems that your coworkers should not be the subject of your concerns, however, because even the shadow that befalls his profile that blocks the lamp post’s white-blue glow is not enough to blind you from Jungkook’s sneer. Your partner peers down at you and speaks his seldom words of the night, “wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Wh—” you’re at a loss for words, not exactly because of his remark but rather over his rare choice to speak in exchange for an opportunity to tease you… something he hasn’t done in the past month of your blossoming relations “—what? I was just wondering how far you lived because you mentioned driving to work before.”

“Yeah,” he simply answers without further elaboration over his sudden tease. “I live with my brother. About five minutes away. Not too far.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah,” he pauses, “you have any siblings?”

“What do you think? Do I look like I have any?”

You lean back, as if to allow him to have a gander over your appearance that supposedly dictates your compatibility for a sibling. To your surprise, the boy who’s usually much less easily entertained turns his head as an acceptance to your challenge. The thought of his absolute attention focused on you, eyes scanning you up and down, is enough to have you slightly regretting your question. You’ve never been the type to feel self conscious; but moments like these, when you fidget with your hands and hastily tuck a lock of your hair behind the ears, you’re left wondering why he, of all people, is an exception.

The spur of the moment skews your balance and you rock back and forth, subtly albeit unsuccessfully avoiding further attention from the boy before you; because as your right foot slips back only to counter the sway by pushing forward, your dumb self unintentionally pushes your left arm firmly against him.

Your arm doesn’t just touch—no, it wasn’t a graze and it surely wouldn’t seem like a mere accident by the standards of people with a normal sense of balance, but it’s more of an assertive lean to the point that you’re sharing his warmth and molding into his well-toned biceps that you’ve covertly ogled at for the past weeks until his firm stature becomes the reason you’re not stumbling forward like a goofball.

Even the most dense of them all would have picked up on it; but Jungkook isn’t just any boy, because whether for the better or worse, he chooses not to mention the small mishap.

“You seem like the older sister type,” he mentions, averting his attention ahead to the dimly lit sidewalk.

“Oh,” you can only mumble as your arm dwells over the wake of his touch.

Wait, what does he mean by that? Do you seem reliable? Or does he see you as a know-it-all? Does he think you’re the girly type? The responsible type? And was it supposed to be a compliment?

One too many seconds had passed by for you to inquire for further elaboration. Instead, the occasional silence between you two has you scrambling for a new topic after the death of its promising albeit lackluster precedent.

“What about you? You live near here?”

Alas, you can internally sigh in relief because at least the struggle to rekindle the conversation is a mutual one. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re too boring, after all.

“I live across the bridge and a few blocks down, so I just walk to work.”

“Across the bridge?” he articulates with much more vigor than you’re used to. Ultimately, your surprise is short-lived when a cocked grin replaces his temporary gawk. “Try not to get mugged.”

“Wooow. Considering the sun sets before we’re out of work and crossing that bridge when it’s dark is a legitimate fear I have,” you give him the worst stank eye possible, “thank you for your concern.”

The damn boy only grins, “no problem.”

As oddly comforting your usual, silence-filled conversations with Jungkook have been in the past, you don’t think you would be too disinclined to fiddle with your partner’s snarky attitude once in a while. Maybe you’re overanalyzing or maybe you’re excessively shrewd, but the organic flow between the two of you is starting to awfully resemble that of two close friends.

But are you friends or are you merely colleagues coerced into working overtime?

“Boy, I swear I will—”

“—oh shit,” Jungkook beats you to the curses, like usual, “I forgot to bring my card.”

“So?” you quirk a brow at the distraught boy. “Just go home and make some food. Our cafeteria sucks anyways.”

The boy turns to look at you, profusely serious and not a glint of shame present in his eyes. Then, he deadpans, “but I’m hungry.”

“So... you want me to spot you.”

“Hey,” he finally chortles with a slightly embarrassed grin akin to that of a child caught red-handed, “I skipped dinner after gym so that I could make it to work on time!”

“No one told you to skip dinner!”

His already ear-to-ear grin widens, if that was even possible, “I did it so you wouldn’t be alone!”

Spotting your friends has never been a predicament for you; this, however, you’re not too keen on lending money to a boy whose relations are only based upon work, mutual friends, and endless inevitable crossovers between his path and yours—in fact, too many to be under the hands of mere happenstance.

Surely, the two of you have grown much more acquainted than ever in the last month, but it’s not like you two never interacted before. On the rare occasion that Jungkook actually greeted you, a plea for help regarding work would always follow shortly after. To you, he only saw you as a reliable source. He never saw you as a friend and you never saw him more than a mere colleague. Even now, after all the sparks between you two, it’s difficult for you not to suspect his ulterior motives.

You will not be taken advantage of. Just because he’s slightly—okay, maybe profusely—above average in looks, you will not make a fool of yourself. What happens next, however, takes you and your adamant determination by surprise.

“Okay, fine...” you grumble. “But you owe me boba!”

“Boba?” his eyes pop as he chuckles. “Alright, sure.”

“Yeah, in fact, you owe me three boba,” you add. “I like roasted oolong milk tea with egg pudding. Write it down.”

“Three?” he gawks. “Wait, roasted oolong and what…?”

He had asked a question, yet you can’t help but simply smile at him from ear to ear. Was this really happening? Was he serious or was this another one of your playful bickers?

Shrugging and stifling the laugh that threatens to slip from your lips, you decide to let fate override your usual level-headed reasoning, “take me and I’ll let you know.”

In that fleeting moment, the flutters in your stomach and the adrenaline that coursed through your veins were worth it all; and it wouldn’t be until months later that you discover your last leap of faith was not one worth taking.

his side;

“So how far do you live from work?”

Her question finally ceases the dreadful standstill. The internal sigh after a prolonged bated breath and the realization of the unknown implications of such relief strikes Jungkook as an oddity. Clearly a quiet, standoffish man who strays from the center of attention, Jungkook had always preferred to observe rather than participate. To him, the state of nothing is where he belongs and silence is his safe haven—and yet, around Y/N, he can’t help but chant words of panic: shit, what do I say next?

As thankful as Jungkook was for his partner’s break of silence, he, himself, isn’t aware enough of his once stone cold pond of a state, now disturbed by ripples of which its origins are unknown. Instead, the moment of anomaly is mistranslated into the only expression he’s developed a knack for. A sneer.

Well, that wasn’t exactly what he wanted… but he figured he was close enough with Y/N to joke around with her by now, right?

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Wh—” Jungkook peers down at her baffled response “—what? I was just wondering how far you lived because you mentioned driving to work before.”

It would be a lie to deny how the look of bewilderment that plasters her face doesn’t egg him and his teasing streak onwards. Despite being a man of few words and little thoughts, the rare sense of amusement brought upon by her short-lived distraught catalyzed by himself, truly, has Jungkook scratching his head. The tinge of guilt intermixed with worry that perhaps he had gone too far only furthers the confusion.

“Yeah,” Jungkook returns to his usual collected albeit monotonous composure, “I live with my brother. About five minutes away. Not too far.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yeah—” what should he say now “—you have any siblings?”

“What do you think? Do I look like I have any?”

Oh? He’s a bit hesitant to hurl a curse at his partner, but how the hell is he supposed to know?

When she leans back to open her profile to the boy, something Jungkook has realized is a rarity for the usually closed-off, shifty girl, the boy has no choice but to play along with her antics… either that or he lacks the energy to deny her politely. The boy turns, scanning his partner up and down with little haste and no specific game-plan. He doesn’t exactly know what he’s supposed to be looking for, but what he finds is much more than what he was expecting.

For someone who speaks with such wisdom, who performs so well in every criteria, who seems to know the answer to all his questions, the way she fidgets with her hands and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear at this very moment as he watches her conflicted with the confident impression he once only knew. He had taken note of her occasional avoidance of his eyes—something which he had amusedly combated with an even more intense, to which she never challenged—but her wavering gaze that flickers on whatever was on the ground is especially prevalent today.

Funny.

Then she begins to lose her balance. How? Jungkook had no fucking clue; but before he knew it, she was swaying back and forth until her left arm finally stabilizes the rather skittish gal… through the use of his right arm.

The sudden contact catches Jungkook off guard. No, it isn’t enough of a surprise to have him jolting back—although nothing really could elicit such a reaction from a boy like Jungkook—but he does notice the firm, close contact between her and him. The closest he’s ever been to her was visually through the eyes and the closest he’s ever touched her was tactually through the occasional graze of his fingertips against the back of her hand. Sure, his bare skin could only feel the cotton of her sweater and the moment of contact lasted for an ephemeral two seconds, but even that is enough to leave an imprint on that night.

There’s no doubt in Jungkook’s mind that it was all accidental. Y/N isn’t the type to mess around with boys like him… but did she notice?

Turning his head to the sidewalk brightly illuminated by white and gulping whatever was in his throat, he decides to fill the awkward silence, “you seem like the older sister type.”

“Oh.”

Shit, why does she sound so disappointed? She doesn’t think it’s an insult, does she? Well, it really isn’t his fault if he struck a nerve, Jungkook internally shrugs, he was just answering a question. He had to admit, though, her unpredictable sway of emotions was entertaining to say the least. If she really wanted an elaboration, she could always ask and he could easily clear up his intentions.

But what’s the fun in a conversation without speculation?

And so, Jungkook figures he’d leave her at that.

“What about you? You live near here?”

“I live across the bridge and a few blocks down, so I just walk to work.”

“Across the bridge?” Jungkook gapes, although he’s unsure of why his expression is much more of an exaggerated version of how he really feels. Something about the drama of it all fueled the conversation further. Grinning, he remarks, “try not to get mugged.”

“Wooow. Considering the sun sets before we’re out of work and crossing that bridge when it’s dark is a legitimate fear I have—” damn, that was a long sentence and her stank eye doesn’t help any bit “—thank you for your concern.”

Her anger only spurs him and his unexplained satisfaction forward, “no problem.”

Jungkook had always kept his circle of friends close and tight. It isn’t like he preferred it that way, but the world of simplicity and permanency gravitated toward him. Unlike the other countless guys who liked to spend their nights surrounded by girls whose names they didn’t know nor cared to know, his closed lifestyle kept him grounded. If someone were to tell him years ago at orientation that this girl would eventually be holding a conversation closely resembling that of two close friends, he never would have believed them; but now that he’s here, he could definitely see it.

“Boy, I swear I will—”

“—oh shit,” a wave of terror overtakes the boy as he rummages through the pockets of his shorts “—I forgot to bring my card.”

“So?” his partner quirks a brow at him and he almost narrows his eyes at her preposterous advice that follows. “Just go home and make some food. Our cafeteria sucks anyways.”

A ravenous growl rumbles across his abdomen. The regret for having skipped his usual granola bar in exchange for making it to work on time after gym returns with vengeance. The two things Jungkook had no shame in taking seriously were: one, gym, and two, food. As cautious as he has been around his seemingly delicate partner, he had no shame in turning to look straight at her. Next, he deadpans, “but I’m hungry.”

“So…” the girl mulls, each second egging on the emptiness of his stomach. “You want me to spot you.”

“Hey—” well, that isn’t exactly what he wanted and now he just seems like a leech but prolonging the swift conversation that had developed as well as filling the hole in his stomach doesn’t sound too bad “—I skipped dinner after gym so that I could make it to work on time!”

“No one told you to skip dinner!”

He can’t help it when his grin widens, “I did it so you wouldn’t be alone!”

Truthfully, her advice would have been much less of a bother to Jungkook. One, he wouldn’t have to spend all this time and effort convincing her. Two, he probably would’ve been home by now and enjoying his masterfully cooked instant noodles. Most importantly, he wouldn’t seem like he was trying to take advantage of his partner because severing their professional relationship and borderline friendship was not in his plans.

As little of a crap he gave about the impression he gave others, he wasn’t that shitty of a person to willingly be the bad guy… and certainly not to Y/N.

“Okay, fine...” she finally grumbles to his relief. “But you owe me boba!”

“Boba?” he can’t help but chuckle in disbelief. “Alright, sure.”

“Yeah, in fact, you owe me three boba,” she asserts. “I like roasted oolong milk tea with egg pudding. Write it down.”

“Three?” Jungkook gasps; and this time, he really means it. “Wait, roasted oolong and what…?”

How the hell is he supposed to remember that? And does she want it delivered to her house or work or what?

Her next remark, however, answers his question. “Take me and I’ll let you know.”

Food might be all that he sees at the moment, but if obliging to her request could induce further conversations and get him to the light at the end of the tunnel? Then to Jungkook, that’s a win-win. Someday, he’ll take her when they’re truly friends and not mere coworkers with coerced interactions.

Maybe not now, not later, but certainly in the near future.

#bts x reader #bts x you #bts scenarios #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #bts imagines #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #scriptaed

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 3 years

Text

Riverdale 5x11-5x14

So I might have fallen behind a bit with Riverdale and have only now just caught up with the new episodes post break. I decided writing reviews for each episode was going to take too much time and to be honest I don’t have too much to say so I’m just going to do a quick run down of what I thought of the episodes and then go back to single episode reviews from 5x15 onwards. Overall I’m not overly impressed with the episodes, I feel like the season started out really good but as its gone on its just kind of lost its way and I don’t know if that is covid related and all the breaks but I haven’t enjoyed the episodes as much post like episode 8, though I liked ep 10 better than episode 9. But anyway lets get into the reviews. As always these are just my own opinions and there will be spoilers.

5x11

So the episode starts off with Veronica and Archie deciding to put a pause on their relationship until her and Chad are officially divorced which I personally think they should have done from the start because the way they got back together was way to fast, I mean she told Chad she wanted a divorce, kissed Archie and was sleeping with him, then she goes back to new york and sleeps with chad all in the space of like 2 episodes. Though I think given their scene at the end when Veronica is pushing a little for him to change his mind I don’t think she is as much on board with their pause as Archie. I will be honest I’m not really enjoying the way they’ve written Veronica this season I actually think they’ve made her kind of unlikable at times and she sometimes comes across a bit selfish I also feel like they don’t really know what to do with her character anymore. But I am glad Veronica and Archie have decided to take the break however I also think it might be a bit ominous for Varchie that they’ve done this now which I’ll get into more in a separate post.

Ok this might be a little mean of me but I was kind of happy when Archie called out Veronica when she came to him for help about her blue opal. About how she went to new york despite him asking her not to and about how she then came back without a divorce and having slept with her husband and not even telling him why she can’t divorce him just yet. But Archie is still Archie so naturally he does help her anyway.

Speaking of Veronica’s blue opal I did find it kind of hilarious that she seemed to care more about that then she did her father’s life. But you know fair.

Archie isn’t the only one Veronica asks for help though she also gets assistance from Reggie and we learn more about how he ended up working for Hiram, turns out his father is still running for the worst dad of eternity award and got into debt that Reggie is now working off. I did like the Veggie scenes though and I am really glad that reggie is getting more screen time.

This episode was an episode for the return of the side characters, Dodger and Darla are back and causing problems as per usual. Also there was that guy, Doc, Jughead was saved by who we heard about once in a story Jughead told about how as a kid he watched a guy being beat by some rich guys. To be honest I wasn’t all that interested in Jughead’s storyline this episode. I mean is that something that actually happens? Rich guys just randomly beating up homeless people like they did with Juggie and Doc. I’m not saying it doesn’t I just thought it was a bit nonsensical for these guys just to come out of a club and start beating up a guy just because. Still bless Doc for coming to the rescue and taking care of Jughead, I did like Doc and I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. But another thing that didn’t make sense to me is that Jughead didn’t recognise Doc. Like he was old enough to remember this traumatic experience of watching a guy get beat and feeling guilty about not helping but doesn’t recognise the guy until he gives Juggie his name. Yet Doc was able to recognise Jughead even though the last time he saw him was a child? Overall I am not sure what the point of Jughead’s storyline was this episode other than to maybe show how messed up he is at the moment with the blackouts and hallucinations, I suppose it was also so he could reach the realisation that he needed to go back to new york and work out what happened to him when he lost those days. He does leave a really sweet voicemail for tabitha before he goes though and promises to finish their dance.

The best part of this episode though was the storyline with Tabitha and Betty, also Jessica, and their search for Jughead. I really liked the interaction between Betty and Tabitha and I like that they are becoming friends. Tabitha was obviously really worried about Jughead. But Betty, wow, she couldn’t be less bothered about Jughead could she. I mean after hearing the voicemail he left for her I can understand why Betty is reluctant to get involved with anything to do with Jughead because that voicemail was yikes. I mean Betty did cheat and that clearly hurt Jughead so I am not saying that Betty is entirely blameless but I would expect the voicemail was still a shock as it had been five years since she had cheated and we know from the most recent episode (ep 14) that she and Juggie were amicable with each other and would talk on the phone so this probably came out of nowhere for her. However Betty is Betty and so she still helps. Which ultimately leads to Jessica showing up and I know we are suppose to hate Jessica but, like, I love Jessica. I was thoroughly entertained by her antics and thought she was actually kind of funny. She’s another character where I wouldn’t mind if she just randomly pops up and causes some trouble now and again. In the end as suspected Jessica is actually there for ulterior motives and wants Jughead’s manuscript. I actually really felt for her when she explained that she wanted it because she was afraid Jughead had written something that would look bad to her family and friends. It’s the same as how the serpents were upset about how he wrote them in the outcasts and how he threatens Betty saying once people read his books they’ll all know what kind of person she really is. I’ve spoken about it before but Jughead often uses his friends and others peoples stories in his writing and I am glad that the writers of the show are now showing the effect that has on the people who are the subjects of his writing. That being said I am worried that might not be the true reason Jessica took the manuscript and its possible she might actually try to publish it herself. Also it was kind of funny seeing Betty and Tabitha on the shrooms but, not ok Jessica, don’t drug people.

Archie was rounding up all the convicts this episode and to be honest I don’t really have much to say about this other than I thought it was really smart to use this as a way of getting money out of Hiram so they can repair the school that Hiram had trashed.

Meanwhile Penelope has started a ministry which means she gets early release from prison. Also I absolutely loved the expressions of cheryl and nana rose when Penelope told them about the ministry. I am glad that Cheryl at first was very wary of her mothers plans as oppose to just immediately going along with it, but alas she does get roped in to it when she opens a chest and finds Jason’s burned skeleton inside. I mean can we please please just let that poor guy rest in piece. Please. At this point poor Jason has been stuffed in a freezer, dumped in a river, buried and exhumed twice, set on fire in a viking burial and now he is stuffed in a trunk. Also I am a bit confused. Was Cheryl snooping in her mother’s room and discovered Jason’s remains there or was it her room and she was the one that had recovered him? But anywhere Cheryl seems to have a revelation when she sees the bird and ends up embracing the ministry life.

5x12

So episode twelve is kind of like the breakfast club episode where it is out of the timeline and kind of like a standalone episode but still has information about the plot of the season. This episode is the backstory of Hiram but we also get some great Reggie development in this episode. I didn’t hate the episode as much as I thought I was going to when I found out there was going to be a hiram backstory episode, but I also don’t think it was very accurate in terms of what we already knew from previous episodes. I think there were a lot of continuity errors. But those aside it was a ok episode. We learn that Hiram and his dad were shoe polishers and that Hiram clearly hated the way they were treated because they were poor and wanted more from life. We also learn that it was his father who first began searching for palladium after learning about it from a business man in new york and that’s why they decided to move to Riverdale. Hiram’s motives are to finish what his father started. Hiram catches the attention of a drug dealer guy and starts running drugs and gets money and new shoes and a car. His parents are obvious suspicious and aren’t happy about him getting caught up with those guys so his dad goes to tell the mob leader that he will fire his son or he’ll go to the cops which leads to him being killed by the mob leader. Hiram then kills the mob leader’s men and pretty much drives him out of town and then he takes over. Hiram clearly loved his dad but they had issues. Hiram would get very angry about the way others would treat them but his dad would often shrug it off. But I do think losing his dad had a big impact on Hiram and it was interesting to learn more about his past.

The other kind of plot in this episode was with Reggie and his dad which was obviously suppose to mirror Hiram and his dad. Only in this scenario Hiram is the criminal and Reggie is young Hiram. Reggie manages to pay off his dad debt but wants to still work for Hiram meanwhile his dad wants Reggie to quit working for Hiram. He even like Hiram’s father did in the past visits Hiram and asks him to let Reggie go. What’s interesting is that Hiram does, I am assuming its because in that moment Reggie’s father reminded him of his own father and he kind of forces Reggie into making the decision he himself wished he had made. But first he gets Reggie’s and Hermosa’s help in finding and killing the mob boss finally avenging his father’s death. Hiram also tells Reggie to go back to his father and forgive him and here is my problem with this. I get that its because Hiram regrets all the disagreements and the falling out he had with his own father and there’s Reggie and he reminds Hiram of his younger self and Reggie’s situation reminds him of his past but Hiram’s dad was a decent person and was a good father who always wanted the best for his son. Reggie’s dad on the other hand used to regularly abuse and beat his son. Yes he does show concern for Reggie in this episode but that doesn’t erase the years of abuse he inflicted on his son. It’s not the same and I honestly don’t think his father deserves Reggie’s forgiveness. That being said I suppose if Reggie is forgiving his dad not for his dad’s sake but for himself because he thinks that will help him heal and move on that I can be ok with that.

Come the end of the episode I don’t think I hate Hiram any less but still his backstory was interesting and I am glad that Reggie isn’t working with him anymore.

5x13

Out of all of these four episodes this one was the one I liked the most. So in this section I am going to divide it by plotline/characters.

Archie

So the episode starts out really intensely with Archie having a nightmare about his time at war and Eric losing his leg which honestly looks horrendous and I am not at all surprised that both Archie and Eric are now suffering from PTSD. It gets a bit dangerous too when Eric pulls a gun on Archie whilst having a flashback. Uncle Frank tries to help them by getting them a dog. As someone who actually has a therapy dog myself I know this is something that does actually help. But we do learn that sadly Vegas passed away whilst Archie was deployed. Also the dog Frank got is one that was used in dog fighting and ends up biting Eric. Archie’s reaction to finding out that there is dog fighting ring in Riverdale is to track them down and beat them up. I do think Archie was really struggling this episode, he was trying to get help for Eric but it is obvious that he himself also needs help. I actually really related to Archie and Eric struggling to get help for their mental health because it is something I have gone through myself and it can be really frustrating and can make you feel kind of helpless and I actually think they did a good job of showing that, which considering its Riverdale I was pleasantly surprised by. We also learn some more about Archie’s time in the war when he tells Frank the story about Bingo. At first he tells us that Bingo was a stray dog that their unit adopted who got caught in no man’s land. It is actually a rather harrowing scene where you see Archie and Eric in the trenches and Eric is badly hurt and you can hear this dog yelping in the background. It’s even more harrowing when you learn that actually Bingo wasn’t a dog but one of the soldiers in their unit. I feel like Archie changed it to being a dog to deal with the trauma of it all but when Eric tells Frank the truth and he then asks Archie about it Archie really has to confront what actually happened and that loss and grief of losing his friend in such a brutal way. Its obvious that Archie also feels responsible because he was put in that awful position of having to choose between saving Eric or saving Bingo he feels like because of the choice he made Bingo died. Despite what Frank said about not being able to save everyone I think he thought he could save them both and its really eating him up that he ‘let’ Bingo die. I also think that’s why he is so focussed on saving the town because he thinks it’s a way of making amends for not being able to save his men. I do think it was really sweet that Frank and Eric organised the dog rehoming thing to help Archie get some of his hopeful spirit back and show him that there are still some good people out there. They also decide to name their new dog Bingo in honour of their friend which is also kind of sweet. But I do still think Archie has a long way to go in his recovery as by the end of the episode we see him have a nightmare and then a hallucination of bingo but he does at least admit to the therapist that calls him that whilst he was calling on behalf of his friend he too needs help. I mean I am glad that he is going to try to get some help but I am still worried for Archie given what happens in ep 14 which I’ll talk about more in the section for that episode. Also we got that little Barchie crumb of the light shining through his window, a lit window in the dark.

Betty and Tabitha

So Betty and Tabitha have been working together to try and find the truck killer and whilst trying to get information out of a trucker Glen pops up and we find out that he has been arresting the girls working the lonely highway. I mean there is a killer out there and these girls are their victims, they are struggling to make ends meet and have been forced into this kind of work and Glen instead of focussing on catching the killer is arresting them, yup I agree with Betty, girl should’ve stabbed him harder. We also learn that Betty apparently quit the FBI and did I miss that because I don’t remember her quitting? I remember Glen took over the case and moved it out of Riverdale but I don’t remember her quitting altogether. But anyway Glen then takes her badge and gun which I guess is fair if she has quit and isn’t an agent anymore but at least Betty is actually trying to catch the killer unlike Glen who is clearly not. Watch it turn out to be him that is the truck killer, go on Riverdale I dare you. Despite being warned off by Glen Betty and Tabitha are still determined to put a stop to the murders and so decide to hold a coyote ugly night. I actually thought this was a really clever way of getting information and creating a database. In order to get entry to the venue all truckers have to show their ID and give their licence registration. am a big supporter of characters acting smart so I did like that plan. Also I love the coyote ugly movie (don’t judge me) so extra win there. I also like that the plan did incorporate alot of the characters. One thing I have been enjoying this season is that they are mixing up who is interacting with who. You had Alice working the bar, the girls dancing to keep the truckers entertained whilst Reggie and Kev searched the vans. Though I do have a question when they find the blood in the back of the truck and Betty says her and Reggie and Kevin are with the FBI where did they get those FBI jackets from? Are they just easy to come by like part of a Halloween costume or something? There is another thing that I thought was funny and that was that Betty makes it clear that no one is to go off alone with a trucker and yet at the end of the episode she does exactly that and it just so happens to be the killer who comes at her with a chainsaw of all things which was a little ott in my opinion but this is Riverdale so I suppose what was I suspecting. But at least Betty manages to capture him and she does the sensible thing and turns him over to the proper authorities, or no wait what was I thinking of course she doesn’t this is Riverdale so she’s just going to question him herself. Come one you all know it wouldn’t be as entertaining if she just handed him over to the FBI.

Veronica and Reggie

I really liked the storyline of Veggie working together in season 3 so I was really happy to see them working together again and I really enjoyed their scenes. I just think they work really well as a team. They also come up with a really great idea for getting investors whilst also getting one up on old Hiram. Obviously Reggie knows alot about what is going on with Soldale and knows that houses will never be built there. So they phone Hiram’s investors and tell them this little rumour that Soldale is a bad investment and convinces them to invest with them instead. This was actually another smart move by the characters so again I support it. And anything that ruins Hiram’s day is a win to me.

Cheryl and Kevin

Kevin after a little encouragement from Cheryl after she finds him cruising again decides to talk it out with Fangs but unfortunately for him and the viewers we fins out that Kangs ahs moved on...with Moose? I mean I feel for Kev its also upsetting to find out your ex has moved on I imagine it is even worse when your ex has moved on with your other ex. Kevin then also has a bit of a inner crisis when he receives a teacher of the year award and realises that this is not at all where he was expecting his life to be. He had dreamed of being in new york, writing and directing instead he is still in Riverdale and he’s still cruising and unlucky in love. Cheryl’s solution to all of Kevin’s problems is to invite him to join her cult, sorry ministry. At first Kevin is reluctant and not really interested but is finally brought around with the temptation of a musical number. So yup Kevin has joined Cheryl as a believer. Now I am going to surprise myself here and say I am actually interested to see where they take this and where this story with Cheryl and Kevin goes because from the promo pics and what not it looks like they are going to be taking over as leaders of the ministry. I don’t think this is at all a healthy copying mechanism for either of them though and I hope they do get actual real help soonish.

5x14

This was a weird episode and was kind of told in the style of the night gallery show episodes where Cheryl invites Minerva over and shows her three paintings and then tells her the story behind each. So again I am going to split this part in the three storylines we get told.

Archie

The first one is a painting of Archie as a miner, the portrait itself hilariously did remind me of the cover of a bad romance novel but the story itself wasn’t too bad actually I think out of the three I found his the most interesting. It does give us some more information about the shows plot for this season, pardon about one of this seasons plots. Cheryl has finally discovered that their is palladium under her maple groves and has the genius idea of digging it up before Hiram does. Like seriously why didn’t anyone think of this earlier? I mean it also ties into that long forgotten plot from the beginning of the series that Cheryl is indebt after spending seven years renovating her home. I am assuming she wants the palladium to cover those debts. So naturally she hires Archie and his construction crew to mine it for her because everyone knows that construction and mining are basically the same thing right? Though I did think it was really funny when Cheryl pointed out that Archie so far has been teacher, coach, fireman and bounty hunter. At least the show is aware of its own ridiculousness. So Archie and the boys decide to mine for the Palladium but whilst down there Archie has more hallucinations about Bingo. We also see Archie in therapy and we find out that Eric is also getting help and this actually does seem to be helping Eric which is good. Whilst initially it looks like things are improving for Archie he then gets a really bad reaction when down in the mines and becomes very paranoid which results in him storming into the therapists office and behaving very erratically accusing her of drugging him and working against her which clearly frightens her. When everyone else in the mines also then starts hallucinating Frank realises that there is carbon monoxide down there and that is what is causing the visions and for everyone to start acting aggressively. Surprisingly this is actually an accurate representation of what can happen with high exposure to carbon monoxide and we do love us some accuracy. However it does lead to one of the most frustrating scenes in the episode when Archie goes back to the therapist and begs her not to cut him lose explaining about the carbon monoxide and about how he is now seeing not just Bingo but all the men he lost. The therapist tells Archie that she is afraid to be around him and that if he is having hallucinations to that level that she doesn’t think he is safe to be around anyone. Like what kind of therapist is this. This is not what a therapist would do. If she was afraid to be alone with him then refer him to another therapist and if you are worried he’s a danger to others than admit him to a psychiatric hospital where he can safely get help. This therapist just kind of washed her hands of it and said not my problem. But this has left me feeling really worried about Archie and I do feel like he might end up going really dark and spiralling.

I do think that the gas could actually be leaking into the town from the mines though. I was thinking about it when watching the episodes but alot of the characters are having hallucinations and visions of some kind and at first it seems like it is related to that characters trauma but now I am starting to wonder if it is actually because of the gas. It could also explain the Mothmen hallucinations too. Speaking of the Mothmen they got a mention in this episode that made me happy. When taking a lunch break Fangs tells the story about how some of the truckers used to be miners and they tell stories about humanoid cannibalistic creatures that lived underground. Why does this make me happy you may ask well because I have been predicted since the beginning of the season that at some point all the the storylines will converge and I am hoping that come the end of the season we will get a big team up with all the characters. Previously we have had Betty’s storyline with the highway killer being linked to Jughead’s storyline of the mothmen and now we’ve just had the link between Archie’s storyline and Betty and Jughead’s. Which means I am one step closer to my big team up.

Jughead

So Jughead’s storyline was my least favourite out the three. We have finally learned the truth, the big mystery of what happened to Jughead that caused him to lose three days of his life. He was in a hole. Yup that’s it he just fell in a hole, got rabies and then hallucinated a rat king. Underwhelming is the best way I can describe what I thought of that. There were so many great theories out there on what could have happened that caused Jughead to have this trauma so bad that he literally mentally blocked it out and what we got instead was just that he got upset that Betty, who he broke up with five years ago, didn’t come to his book launch so he got drunk and fell into the sewers. I kind of feel like with them bringing back the voicemail, with him saying betty was the one that lead him out of the dark, that they are kind of making it all Betty’s fault, like she is the reason for his trauma and all his problems and if she just pays him some attention it’ll all be magically fixed and almost like its her responsibility to save him and I am not sure I like that. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that your girlfriend cheating on you with your best friend wouldn’t do a number on you, but it is all about Betty when Archie betrayed him too. Like where is Jughead being cut up about the fact that Archie who was like a brother to him kissed his girlfriend? I don’t know maybe its just me but I am finding it a little one sided. I also think it shows how unhealthy his relationship with betty has become. I think if it gets to the point where you can’t function without a person then that’s not good and that’s not healthy and again maybe it is just me but I don’t see that as romantic which I am not sure if they are trying to play it off that way or not. I did feel really bad for Juggie though when he talks about how even though he disappeared into the dark for three days no one missed him and that he felt really alone. I do think maybe that’s more where his trauma comes from and I kind of wish the writers had developed that more rather than having it again be solely about Betty. Like if we had seen him reaching out to several people and inviting them to his book launch, like a text to his dad, a phone call to his sister or mum, reaching out to Archie or Veronica and then all of them making excuses about how they are busy and can’t come. Then have him invite betty and her say yes at first and you see him relieved because he has someone coming. Then have her cancel and him spiral. I just think it would have had a bigger impact. Instead, and maybe this is a bit harsh, but it came off as him just being some drunk who can’t get over his ex ad kind of like with Veronica I kind of feel like the writers are making the characters unlikeable. And to make it clear my problem here is with the writing not the actual characters themselves but to me they’ve at times made veronica seem unlikeable like when she sleeps with Chad, Jughead with the voicemail to Betty, Betty with her not seeming to care at all about Jughead, Archie with him sleeping with Betty and then after stopping that getting right with Veronica the next day. I don’t know if its just that they are trying to keep the core four separate for some reason? But it just seems a bit off, I know I said I wanted more varying interactions between the characters but I didn’t mean at the expense of the core four relationships. But maybe they are trying to show how it can take time to reconnect with old friends when you’ve been away from each other for a long time?

Anyway back to Jughead the other thing that was a little bit annoying for me was that the timeline was a little confusing. When Jughead is telling the story it seems like it all happened in like a year but its not its spread out over the seven years he was gone. We know that the voicemail was 2 years ago so putting it at five years into the time jump and that was the night he fell into the sinkhole. But in the story it seems like its only a few days later that Archie called when actually it would have been two years after Juggie fell in a deep dark hole. But then I suppose a confusing timeline is peak Riverdale so. But yeah I did find it made his story a bit confusing which was frustrating.

However Jughead does seem a bit more optimistic come the end of his story and I think hopefully things are going to start getting better for him I hope he does get some support from his friends though like Tabitha and Archie, I also hope he clears the air with Betty. Just so he isn’t feeling so isolated and alone.

Betty

So the last story is Betty trying to find out where Polly is from the trucker serial killer that she has chained up in her shop class at high school. Again not much to say about this. I thought it was smart to use Alice as a way to emotionally manipulate the killer and to make Polly seem human to him so he’ll tell them where she is. This does backfire however and we end up with that ridiculous scene where Alice tells Betty then as her mother she is giving her permission to kill him. Alice honey I’m not sure but my mum said it was ok is going to hold up too well in a court of law. Betty decided instead to see if she can scare him into telling her the truth. So she threatens him with some pretty dark stuff, saying she will cut off his feet, then his legs and the knees then the groin. Then his wrists and that he might have a heart attack at that point, but that she reckons he is stronger than that and that she has some tricks up her sleeve. Which is really dark betty really dark. Then when she is collecting a chainsaw she ahs a flashback and we find out that this is what TBK said to her which somehow makes it even scarier and worse, I really need Betty to talk to someone about this asap because just like I am with Archie, I am worried about where she is heading. We never find out whether she was actually going to go through with cutting up the trucker because when she gets back he has bitten off his own tongue and swallowed it so he would choke. Betty does figure out though that they are dealing with a family of killers who are hunting their victims.

Phew ok so that is all of the episodes that I missed. I know I complained alot in this review so apologies for that. To end on a positive note I am very excited for the next episode as we are going to be getting the pussycats back so I am hoping for a good episode.

#riverdale #riverdale spoilers #Riverdale Review #anti varchie #anti bughead #just in case

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junkyardlynx · 4 years

Text

Humanity, against all odds and reason, wields an ancient magick far beyond its ken. This sorcery can rewrite history, wake the dead and shift the very laws of existence. This is not a campy prelude to the wonders of science or the virtue of perseverance. No, it's something more intangible and...slightly maddening.

It's easiest to call it "faith", or perhaps "belief." The religious connotations are immediate, and tangentially related. It's more accurate to call it...unconscious ontology. The act of shaping reality via perceiving it. If an object is tossed into the air, surely it must come down at some point. It’d be ludicrous if it simply got stuck, wouldn’t it? Well, yes. That’s what the people at large HAVE decided, haven’t they?

It’s a curious thing. Curious seems a bit quaint as a descriptor, but...well, it does make one inquire. Incessantly. I’m banking on it.

The birth of the written word seems to be the genesis of this particular magic. The mere act of transcribing a record of “something” onto stone, vellum, paper, whatever convenient material seems to make it more...real. Even if that record is entirely fictional. Now, as you might have noticed, simply writing something doesn’t make it true. That’d be chaotic. The already frayed fabric that comprises this unfortunate little universe would be, uh, gone.

No, people have to “believe.”

They have to have “faith.”

And that’s how people got their gods. For a time. Told you it was tangentially related.

People clung to the rules and structures afforded by scriptures, and in response to that fervent belief, deities roared to life from nothingness. Man created God, but not in a kitschy sort of metaphorical way. Just a kitschy sort of metaphysical way. Man also created the eight million kami of Shintoism, the absolute Costco family value pack of issues of the Greek Pantheon, the ever present one-in-oneness deities of Hinduism. If a large number believed, they were created. After all, these written records prove it, don’t they? So it must be. Separate and ever deadly from each other, persisting in cut apart realms occupying the same physical space, engaging in a twisted orgy of cause and effect as their actions spawn new myths, giving power to nothingness.

Thank...Man that’s over.

Some of those deities still exist, you know. Not that it matters. Their power has diminished over time as man found new things to put stock in. Like stocks. Funny how that works, isn’t it? Capitalism could be seen as a composite deity of sorts -- formed from a thousand ideas and stitched together like a malevolent Frankenstein’s Monster (who really existed, thanks to that fantastic Mary Shelly) come to take your liberty and money. It has no desire but to grow and no empathy, no pity, not even virtuous hate.

And unfortunately, its power persists due to the overwhelming despair it brings. It’s impossible for any rational mind to look at the horrors of an uncaring Capitalist society and think “if only that thing didn’t exist.” But it does. An acknowledgement of it’s dreadful power via a wish for it’s non-existence also counts as belief.

That’s not why we’re talking about this, though. Man must conquer that beast on its own. A test of sorts, you could say, delivered by its own hand. That’s a beast to be tackled all on its own, without any sort of ulterior motives. My hands are not so clean.

No, I bring up this collective unconscious ontology for one reason.

I want to be real.

Flesh and blood, given grace to walk this earth as a free creature. I was born a cute little character to help explain the broader concepts of “applied ontology” to physics students. A positively charming young man who finds himself in all sorts of wacky, modern-fantasy hijinks so the author could explain the cause and effect of observance, expectation and reality in a relatable and personable way.

I move through the world like a background character, unable to interact with people in any sort of meaningful way. People can’t seem to discern my face, remember my name, sometimes they even struggle to hear my voice at all. But that’s fine. I can bear this wraithlike existence a little longer.

Because I’ve finally become real enough to touch. Not strong, not hard, just the barest whisper of force. But it’s enough for a keyboard. Which means that I can write this little primer, this little plea in an internet cafe at a booth that seems somehow occupied and free to any casual customer. I should be paying, but they’ll forget my face as soon as I leave anyway. I share with you this knowledge in hopes of a...trade, of sorts. I simply ask you to do a few things.

Think to yourself, “James Liszt is real.” Believe it. Even a nagging doubt.

Then show everyone you know this...funny little story.

Please.

#writing #my writing #metaphysics #ontology #fiction #science fiction #original fiction #short story #sci-fi

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princess-of-the-corner · 4 years

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Feel free to ignore, but what do you think would change if Adrien was a girl with optional boy Marinette? (Trans or cis, your preference)

Let's make them both trans just for fun! I'll use the typical gender swap names of Marin and Adrienne. (Also, slight warning: I'm half-asleep and also dumb, so I might accidentally use their Canon names/genders. I'm not trying to be an asshole I'm just dumb and tired)

So both transitioned pre-series. However. There's differences on who knows.

Marin: Other than his parents, its mostly old friends like Nino and Kim remember Marin pre-transition. They still sometimes call him "Nette"/"Nettie" as a nickname, but Marin doesn't mind because it doesn't immediately out him. Rose and Juleka also know because Juleka and Marin both got trans vibes off each other and came out to one another. Other than that, most of the class only remembers Marin as a boy and he doesn't feel the need to tell everyone outright. Some people guess because Marin is very LGBT+ involved, so they know he's somewhere in that.

As for Adrienne, she's unfortunately out to everyone because the Agrestes are well known. Adrienne made her modeling debut modeling boys clothes, but after coming out to her parents she was switched to modeling female clothes(because Gabriel might be a fuck but at least he's not a transphobe!). It was kind of a big PR thing when it happened, and she still sometimes gets misgendered in magazines, but that's what the lawyers are for! As I said though, Adrienne doesn't have quite as much privacy on who she can tell because of that. Though the class doesn't immediately know because they weren't paying attention to the Agrestes before meeting Adrienne, they do find out through articles about her now that they're paying attention.

Onto some changes, let's start with Chloé! She still sees Adrienne as her best friend/almost sibling, and is very protective/possessive of her. But it doesn't come across as a romantic crush because Chloé can't use Adrienne as a "let me pretend I'm straight" crush. She will fight anyone who misgenders Adrienne though. The fact that Chloé can be friends with someone as sweet and kind as Adrienne without any 'crush' to explain her interest gets people looking at her in a new light. Like a "huh. Maybe she's not a total bitch?", and everyone decides to subtly work with her/give her a chance to be nicer.

Marin still befriends Alya in Origins but doesn't come out to her immediately. Adrienne also befriends Nino too.

Marin also still develops a crush on Adrienne. While he didn't pay attention to Agreste Family Drama before, he is aware that Adrienne is trans so that's not an issue in his anxieties.

On the flip side: Ladynoir. Or Lordnoire.

Lordbug and Chat Noire are Paris's Heroes. And they're dynamic is pretty much the same, except Chat Noire is less open in her flirting at the beginning.

The reason for that is because she doesn't know if Lordbug will like her if he finds out she's trans, so she doesn't quite get her hopes up until later. Because Chat Noire tells Marin during a "Marichat Moment", so next "Lordnoire" moment, Lordbug drops a "btw I'm trans" into the conversation.

So a lot of the plots don't change. But some of the crush drama does. Let's start:

Nathaniel in Evilustrator: Nath still has a crush on Marin. Chloé doesn't tease the crush as much in this version because she might be a bitch but outing someone like that is a line she doesn't cross. Nathaniel kind of ends up outing himself because Evilustrator takes Marin on the date and everyone connects those dots.

Nino in Animan: Nino still has a crush on Marin but is having more of a LGBT-related debate within himself. He's like "I have a crush on Marin, which should mean I'm not straight because he is a guy. But as he is my first guy crush will he see it as me being not-straight or will he think I'm still straight but not accepting him? And even worse, is that what I'm subconsciously doing???" By the end, DJWifi still happens and Nino can tell Marin "so I'm not straight and I did have a crush on you but also I now have a crush on Alya and we're dating!". The power of being locked in a panther cage.

Théo in Copycat: Because he's straight, Théo's crush is on Chat Noire instead. She rejects him for several reasons, the biggest being that she's in love with Lordbug. Théo ends up as a Copybug instead, jealous that Lordbug has captured the heart of his crush. Lordbug thinks it was because he didn't come to the statue thing, but after he's defeated he apologizes to Chat Noire about how he reacted to her rejection. Lordbug'a just standing there like "wait, if you were upset she rejected you, why'd you turn into fake me???". Chat Noire helps dodge that by pointing out that they're about to detransform.

Kagami: I'm debating on this. Tbh I want to set it up for my usual polyship as endgame, but That's not the debate. The debate is whether Kagami has a crush on Adrienne and the "oh no I'm gay!" Panic, or Kagami gets the crush on Marin first. Either way, she ends up having a friendship with Marin earlier.

Luka: while I could switch the crushes like I did with Kagami, Luka initially interacts with Marin more than Adrienne. Polyship is endgame like usual, but it's lining up as more of a Mariharem. On the other hand, Adrienne might have a closer friendship to Juleka because transgirl solidarity, which would give Adrienne an excuse to be over more and in the process get to known Luka more too.

Now for the real fun plot: Lila.

Because of Lila's manipulative nature, I wouldn't put it past her to pretend to be gay to get the money/power that would come with seducing Adrienne. Especially because while she would pretend to be accepting, she wouldn't see Adrienne as a 'girl'.

However, let's have a twist in the AU and point out that Lila has other options for her 'meal ticket'. After all, everyone in every salt fic has pointed out how Canon!Mari has the same connections that Lila attempts to lie about!

So, Lila decides to try seducing Marin instead. She doesn't know that Marin is trans and that'll be an issue later but for now it's her plan.

Marin still clocks Lila as a liar because while Lila did enough research to avoid telling lies Marin can easily disprove(like the Jagged's cat one), she still did the 'Lordbug's my bff!' Thing. He gives the half-truth to Lila of "Lordbug was upset you would lie about him and is looking for you to tell you to stop".

Volpina happens as in Canon. Except her Illusion at the Eiffel Tower is Marin instead of Adrien. Though the book plot is slightly different. Marin saw Adrienne with the book, Tikki said "we need to get that!", so Marin managed to start a conversation to try and borrow it. Lila stole it because Marin was interested. Marin does manage to get it back and that goes the same.

Lila then disappears for Season 2, so let's jump to her return in Season 3.

As Marin is her target, she tries to get someone else sent to the back. It ends up being Adrienne, because she's nice even if she thinks Lila's a liar(she can't tell anyone "I know she's a liar because I'm Chat Noire"), and offered to give up her seat for someone who needs it for a disability.(and she was actually asked instead of shoved back there without her input).

Marin tries to call Lila out, but he has less proof than in Canon. As I said, since seducing Marin with lies was Lila's plan, she avoided lies he could disprove. So even without the "jealousy", it's easy to write Marin off as just overly paranoid.

Still, Marin refuses to sit by Lila, and instead goes to the back with Adrienne because she looks lonely. Which pisses Lila off.

Later, Lila decides to threaten both Marin and Adrienne. Though separately, of course.

She tells Marin that she already has his friends under her spell, and it would be so easy to turn them against him if he didn't comply. Not to mention that it'd be hard to convince them that he's not interested. After all, as far as they know, Lila is such a sweet and wonderful girl! She's their friend! Even if Marin is into someone else, why would he be so upset about someone like Lila showing interest?

Marin believes in his friends. But he still panics at the threat.

With Adrienne, Lila tries to play nicer because she thinks that she can manipulate her. Lila plays the "I don't want to let a boy get between us", already planning on painting Adrienne as jealous. When Adrienne tries the nicer "I know you're lying but I think you're doing it because you want friends and I'll be your friend if you stop lying. Also what was that about a boy coming between us because idk what you're talking about?!".

Lila lied and told Adrien she'd try, but of course has no intention of doing that.

The Akuma fight goes about the same.

Afterward, Adrienne talks to Marin about her conversation with Lila. Marin is a little more confident in telling Adrienne about Lila's threats. Adrienne is pissed, and tries to stand up for Marin, but is brushed off because Lila already painted her as jealous.

So neither are believed. For Marin, they believe his suspicions of Lila are tunnel vision of his crush on Adrienne combined with insecurity of "if someone likes me it must be for ulterior motives". Meanwhile, everyone knows that Adrienne likes Marin but is denying it with 'he's just a friend!', and think she's jealous of Lila's interest.

How the turntables.

This would change other Lila-centric episodes like Oni-chan and Ladybug, but I'm too tired to deal with that rn.

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