#really not regularly scheduled I hardly post here anymore

[thatscarletwitch]

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Marvel for my random Good Omens cosplay. Now I need to figure out how to actually draw the snake tattoo instead of a squiggle, I’m a disaster😂

[sapphirestarxx]

Through the Night

Chapter 9

Posted on AO3 here

Tag Wall: @lavendertwilight89 @hnnwnchstr @cstormsinukagblog @fawn-eyed-girl @ruddcatha @superpixie42 @ravisk

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In this chapter we take a break from our regularly scheduled plot to get these idiots to finally admit their feelings and bring them together.

~☆~

Kagome awoke with her chest feeling sore and her head aching. Oh, her head. It felt like someone had taken a pickaxe to it, splitting it wide open. The headache seemed to induce a bout of nausea and she struggled to sit up, trying to wait for it all to subside. Ugh. She felt awful. ‘Two days in a row. I really have to stop waking up like this.’ She thought grimly.

After several minutes it seemed to pass and she let out a shaky breath. Once she could think clearly again her first thoughts were of the fight last night and Inuyasha. She was nervous about seeing him again. She had kissed him. There was no going back and undoing it and even if she could she wouldn’t. Still, she hoped her impulsive actions hadn’t made things too awkward between them; her feelings were out there in the open now. Maybe she was overthinking it, though. Her kiss had somehow helped to bring him back to his right mind after he had lost himself to his demonic state, so maybe Sango had been right after all. Maybe it was possible he felt something for her too...

Looking down she noticed she was in her pajamas and wondered who had changed her because it certainly hadn’t been herself. For a moment she considered Inuyasha and her face reddened. Banishing the thought from her mind, she slowly got herself dressed for the day. It was a little bit of a struggle as she kept losing her balance but she finally managed.

As she walked into the kitchen her mother greeted her with a warm smile.

“Good morning, dear. How did you sleep? Inuyasha told me you guys were in quite a fight last night and got rather banged up.”

“Good, thanks. I know I got hurt but I don’t remember much of it after…” Kagome trailed off, not quite ready to tell her mother about how she had kissed the half demon.

“Inuyasha filled me in, as well as what your care is to be for the next couple weeks and what to expect.” Kagome’s mother told her as she filled a glass of water and handed it to her. “Here, drink. You’re supposed to be kept hydrated.”

Kagome obediently took the water, drinking it as she listened to her mother tell her what the instructions for her care were. When her mother was done she spoke.

“Inuyasha told you all this? Why can't he just tell me himself when I see him?”

At those words the smile on her mother’s face dimmed and Kagome’s heart rate kicked up a notch. Anxiety flooded her veins.

“About that, dear. He informed me that something happened between you two and he thinks it’s best to maintain some distance for a while. He’ll still watch over you, you just won’t notice him there unless you are in danger.”

Kagome felt the ground drop out from beneath her at that. Something that had happened between them...it had to be the kiss. It had to be. She had kissed him and he couldn’t even stand to be around her anymore. Oh God. Tears began to well up in her eyes before she could stop it and without another word she spun on her heel to run back upstairs to her room.

“Kagome?!” Her mother called after her in concern but the tears were already starting to fall. She couldn’t hold it back, her heart felt like it was being constricted and it was difficult to breathe. Shutting her bedroom door behind her Kagome threw herself onto her bed and cried her eyes out. It seemed like Sango was wrong; he didn’t want her or feel the same. His rejection had been obvious.

~☆~

Sango got dressed after a short struggle and began to hobble her way back out to the living room. After arriving back home last night she had fought the pull of sleep only long enough to eat a sandwich, drink some juice, and take a much needed shower to cleanse herself of all the caked on blood she was soaked in. That had also been a struggle considering Jinenji’s instructions of not putting weight on her left leg for a day or two but she had managed. She had certainly not been going to ask a certain monk to help her with that, although she knew he would have not only been willing but thrilled. Yeah, no.

As she entered the main living area of Miroku’s apartment she smelled...bacon, eggs, and waffles? She stared as she took in the sight of Miroku setting the western-style breakfast onto plates and turning to greet her with a smile. He had....cooked breakfast? In all the time they had been--Sango didn’t want to say “living together” but there was really no other phrase for it-- he had never done this. They always made their own and it was simple fare.

“You cooked breakfast?” She asked in surprise and her stomach gave an appreciative growl. Ohhh, that looked and smelled so good and she was absolutely starving.

“Good morning. Yes. Jinenji said you needed to eat to regain your strength and you hardly ate anything last night. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to make sure you are properly fed.” Miroku answered. “I hope you like bacon.”

“Wow, thank you. And uhm, I do, although I prefer sausage.”

“Sausage? Oh, really? You like your sausage, do you?” He waggled his eyebrows at her.

“Yes I--” Sango began, not understanding, then stopped. She gave him a look. “Really, Miroku? Are you twelve??”

He just laughed and she rolled her eyes. Idiot. He was a perverted idiot.

They ate and when they were done Sango tried to help clear the table, still shuffling along awkwardly. She felt like an invalid. Finally, Miroku took the dish in her hands and ordered her to go sit on the couch and she reluctantly obeyed. This was so annoying. Finishing up, Miroku came and joined her on the couch and she suddenly felt nervous. He had left a few inches of space between them but he was still sitting awfully close. She looked at him and his beautifully unique indigo eyes were arresting; she couldn’t look away.

“Sango.” He began, and his tone was serious. “Last night, the risks you took...you could have died. The way you sacrificed yourself with no hesitation...I wish you hadn’t.”

“As a demon slayer that’s a risk I take every time I engage in a fight, Miroku. Last night was no different. Also, I seem to remember you doing something similar when we fought that spider demon.” Sango replied, starting to feel defensive. “Besides, I didn’t have any other option. If you can’t handle that, then that’s not my problem and maybe you should focus your attentions on someone else because I will always do what is necessary.”

Miroku took a breath, trying to find the right words to phrase this as carefully as he could. He could feel her walls start to come up again and he couldn’t let that happen. He needed to approach this just right.

“I’m not saying I can’t handle it, or that you shouldn’t do whatever it takes. I respect you and your strength. But when the cost is your life, that concerns me. Sango, you are not expendable.” Miroku reached out and took one of her hands in his own. “Especially not to me. There is no one who could ever hope to replace you. All I ask is that you place a little more value on your life when in battle. Please.”

The tension drained out of Sango at his heartfelt words and she blushed a little at not only his sincerity but the intense way his eyes bore into her own.

“I-I’m sorry for worrying you.” She finally said, her eyes dropping to look at her hand in his. As she watched he raised her hand to his mouth and brushed a kiss over her knuckles and her eyes flew back to his own while butterflies stirred in her stomach. “Miroku?”

“You know, it’s tomorrow now.” He pointed out. “You said you had a lot of things you wanted to tell me and talk to me about.”

Oh, right. The butterflies turned into a storm of nerves and she took a deep breath to try to ease the sudden knot of anxiety.

“Right. I did. I mean, I do. I mean--” Sango began, already flustered, when her phone started to ring. She glanced at it and saw it was Kagome. “I’m sorry, Miroku. Hold on, it’s Kagome. Hello?”

Miroku waited patiently, not too bothered at the interruption. The priestess was likely calling to check in on her friend after the intense battle they had fought the previous night. However, it quickly became clear to him that this was not the case.

“Kagome?” Sango asked when Kagome hadn’t responded. She heard sniffling and choked sobs on the other end of the line. There was music playing in the background. “Kagome, what’s wrong??”

“Inuyasha left me!!” Kagome wailed. Sango could finally pick out the song playing in the background. It sounded like Stay by Rihanna. Kagome was the type of person who, when she was upset or sad, listened to music to make her even more sad. Sango could just picture the way Kagome was huddled on her bed, probably singing along to it as tears rolled down her face before she had called her.

“What do you mean ‘he left you?’”

“Exactly what I said. You were wrong, Sango. I kissed him and now he doesn’t even want to be around me anymore!” Kagome said in a voice thick with tears.

“What did he say to you?” Sango asked. Jinenji had said not to put any weight on her leg for a couple days but if she had to go over to the Higurashi Shrine and kick a dog demon’s ass then that’s exactly what she would do.

“Nothing. He talked to my mom while I was asleep.” Kagome sniffled. “He told her something happened between us and he thought it was best to keep some distance between us now. It has to be because I kissed him! I ruined everything!”

Sango could tell Kagome was quickly spiraling.

“Kagome, I’m going to come over and talk some sense into him. Miroku and I will handle everything. Don’t worry; I’m going to fix this.” She assured her best friend. Kagome mumbled an acknowledgement and they hung up.

“What exactly are we going to handle?” Miroku asked curiously. He had gathered that something had happened between Inuyasha and Kagome again and wondered what his best friend had done this time.

“Sorry, Miroku. I know I promised I would talk to you today but it’s going to have to wait. Your best friend is making my best friend cry so we’re going over there to straighten him out.” Sango replied as she stood up from the couch and walked into his bedroom. “I’m going to get dressed then we’re going.”

Now Miroku was really curious as to what had happened. He waited for Sango and several minutes later she emerged in her slayer suit. He stared at her.

“Why are you wearing your slayer gear?” He asked her, not sure if he wanted to know the answer.

“Just in case.” Sango said as she limped past him.

“Just in case what?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I am, in fact, very worried about it now.”

Sango didn’t respond as they left. She allowed him to help her down the stairs and then they were on their way. Aside from a short explanation on what Kagome had told her she was silent the whole drive, her face set in an expression that promised pain. Miroku was just glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of her wrath. Once they arrived, she turned to him.

“Go find Inuyasha and talk some sense into him.” She told him.

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll go find Kagome and try to calm her down. You better hope you can convince Inuyasha to get his head out of his ass and talk to her.”

“And if I can’t?”

“Guess we’ll find out.”

With those rather ominous words she exited the car, heading into the Higurashi residence while Miroku got out and sighed. He was mildly annoyed that Inuyasha’s actions were delaying his conversation with Sango. Of course, he understood why Sango was holding off-- her best friend came first. He set off in search of his own best friend, entering the forest. There was an advantage to having known Inuyasha as long as he had and one of those was knowing what spots Inuyasha liked to retreat to when he was sulking or otherwise in a mood. After only a little bit of searching Miroku came upon him. Inuyasha was sitting high up on the branch of a particular tree, scowling.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He demanded without preamble.

“Apparently to talk some sense into you.” Miroku replied.

“Oh yeah? It better not be about Kagome.”

“That’s exactly what this is about and I think you know it. Inuyasha, why did you leave her side?”

“Because I almost fucking killed her, that’s why. I’m a danger to her. She’s better off if I keep my distance.”

“You know she thinks it’s because she kissed you. She called Sango, crying.” Miroku told him.

“It doesn’t matter what she thinks!” Inuyasha snapped back. “Now leave me the fuck alone, I’m not changing my mind!”

“You have a woman who actually genuinely cares for you, wants to be with you, and you’re pushing her away. Just like you do with everyone. Stop making things so difficult for yourself!”

“What part of ‘I almost killed her’ do you not get?!”

“You didn’t kill her, though! You didn't even hurt her! If anything, she’s the only one who could have possibly gotten through to you. I was honestly shocked. She accepts you, all of you, but you can’t just let yourself believe it!”

“Come back with the relationship advice once you manage to get your own girl to agree to have anything to do with you! Is she still rejecting you every chance she gets?” Inuyasha sneered.

Miroku took a deep breath, trying not to lose his temper. Maybe he should let Sango handle this, after all.

“Actually, if it hadn’t been for your bone-headed actions I would probably be making a lot more progress with her, but thanks to you, that’s been put on hold until things are sorted out between you and Kagome. Sango won’t do anything while her best friend is very clearly upset, and the cause of that upset is you.”

“Yeah, sure, likely story. Don’t take your frustrations over your failure to get a woman out on me!”

Clearly this wasn’t working. Miroku was done. Words would not be enough to sway his friend; Inuyasha was far too stubborn. Refusing to let the half demon take out his woes on him, he turned on his heel and walked away without another word. When he had reached the Higurashi residence again he found Sango in Kagome’s room, entering after a knock and an assent to come in.

Kagome’s eyes were red and there was music playing. Sango looked up at him from where she sat on the bed with the priestess, one of her arms wrapped around her. He paused.

“Is… is this Say Something by A Great Big World playing right now?” He asked.

“Yes…” Kagome’s voice wobbled as she hiccuped, more tears falling from her cinnamon eyes.

“She has a whole playlist going on Spotify right now. She gets like this.” Sango explained. “How did it go?”

“Not well.” Miroku said. Kagome cried harder at that and Sango narrowed her eyes.

“Kagome, I’ll be back.” She told her best friend.

“What are you going to do?”

Miroku also wanted to know the answer to that question.

“I’m going to take care of this.” She responded cryptically, leaving the room. Miroku followed her out and down the stairs. She limped to his car and undid the latch to the trunk, retrieving her Hiraikotsu.

“Sango, what are you doing? Why are you taking your weapon?”

“Because I may have to kill your best friend if he doesn’t stop acting like an immature asshole.”

Well, that escalated quickly. He loved how fiercely loyal and protective she was, though. She also sounded deadly serious.

“Sango, maybe this can wait a couple days? At least until you can put weight on your left leg again. Inuyasha will likely still be up in his tree sulking.” Miroku tried to suggest. She turned her glare on him and he internally withered at that stare.

“No. I don’t give a shit. I’m taking care of this now, today. Kagome doesn’t deserve to be toyed with because your asshole friend can’t get his shit together. She never really allowed herself to get close to boys because of her duties. She has always been there for me; through the breakups, the fallouts, the training, the jobs-- everything. Now tell me where he is.”

Miroku told her, giving in. Inuyasha had brought this upon himself, after all. He certainly wasn’t going to stand in Sango’s way, not when she looked like she was prepared to march through hell itself. It was best to just stand back and let her do whatever it was she felt needed to be done. His approach obviously hadn’t worked. As Sango disappeared into the forest to confront Inuyasha, Miroku headed back inside and upstairs to where Kagome was. As he neared her room he heard more sad music playing.

She looked up as he reentered her room. He carefully sat on the edge of the bed next to her, giving her a comforting smile and rubbing her shoulder. She leaned into it, still crying but clearly trying to get her tears under control.

“I know I’m not Sango, but I have a free shoulder to cry on if you’re interested.” He told her. Kagome needed no further encouragement and buried her face in his shoulder. He patted her back in soothing motions.

“Miroku?”

“Hmm?”

“Where did Sango go?”

“To talk to Inuyasha.”

“What’s the point?!” She wailed into his shoulder. “I kissed him and now he can’t even stand to be around me!”

“Kagome, that’s definitely not the reason.” Miroku assured her. “I won’t deny that he’s being a stubborn ass right now, though.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I don’t really know if it’s my place to say, but screw it. He’s being an idiot because he’s concerned that he almost killed you in his demonic state. Of course, there’s probably more to it but that’s the gist.”

Kagome raised her head from his shoulder and sniffled loudly. Disbelief was written all over her face, and then her eyebrows lowered as she scowled.

“Well that’s just stupid! He would never do that.”

“I know, Kagome. After last night, that much is apparent.” Miroku agreed. “Sango must be talking with him right now. I’m sure she’ll succeed where I failed.”

What Miroku failed to mention was that her “talking” was likely to involve a lot more action than actual words. Kagome didn’t need to know that, though.

~☆~

Inuyasha's ears twitched as he heard someone approaching again. Why couldn't they all just leave him the fuck alone? This was for the best, and besides it's not like he was shirking his duties. He would still make sure she was kept safe. He would give his life to keep her from harm. But she had been clear that there was to be nothing more between them, not to mention he was still alarmed at how close he had come to giving in to his demon blood and ripping into her. The only thing that had stopped him, the only thing, had been his baser instincts recognizing her as his mate; that had superseded the need for the kill. That, and her kiss. That still had him confused, why she had kissed him when he had been going on a demonic rampage. It didn't matter, though. This was for the best. And if he told himself that enough times he might start to believe it.

His first thought was that it was Miroku coming to try and convince him again but after scenting the air and listening to the cadence of the footsteps he realized it wasn’t him but Sango. Great. First the monk, now the slayer. Miroku must have told her where to find him. She finally came into view and her expression was murder. The fact that she was dressed head to toe in her slayer gear, complete with weapons, wasn’t lost on him.

“Inuyasha!” She called out, spotting him in his perch. He huffed.

“What the fuck do you want?” He asked rudely.

“You already know what. Why are you being like this? Do you not care how your actions are breaking Kagome’s heart?!”

“She’ll get over it. It’s not like she was interested in me as anything more than a friend, anyways. Don’t be dramatic and tell me I’m breaking her heart.”

Sango looked at him like he was stupid and it pissed him off.

“The fuck are ya looking at me like that for?!” He demanded.

“You really don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“That she’s in love with you, you idiot!” Sango yelled at him. Inuyasha’s world stopped for a few seconds at that declaration. Then he scoffed, crossing his arms.

“You expect me to believe that? She was pretty fucking clear she wanted me to forget anything that happened the night you guys got drunk off your asses!”

Sango was still looking at him like he was stupid and when she spoke again she spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child.

“That’s because she thinks you’d never feel the same about her.”

Inuyasha would have been sure the slayer was lying but he could smell the veracity of her statement. The hope that inspired was quickly squashed by the reminder that he had still almost killed her, she had gotten badly hurt on his watch making him a failure as a protector, and the fact that she was a priestess and he was a half demon. Just because he had recognized Kagome as his mate didn’t mean that everything was going to magically just work out. His life wasn’t that simple or easy. Nothing ever was for him, not as a half breed.

“Just leave. It doesn’t matter.” Inuyasha told her in a dismissive tone, turning his back to her. Of course she didn’t fucking leave. God dammit.

“Seriously?! Stop acting like such a fucking child!” Sango snarled at him angrily.

“Leave me the fuck alone!”

“I swear Inuyasha, if you don’t go to her right now and talk to her I will slay your ass!”

Inuyasha turned a look on her and his gold eyes widened. She had moved into a battle stance, her Hiraikotsu at the ready. This crazy bitch was serious. What the fuck??

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to stay off that leg? You seriously expect me to fight you when you’re probably weak as fuck after that fight last night?”

Sango deftly threw her weapon at him in answer. Inuyasha swore and dodged, dropping down from his perch to land lightly on his feet at the base of the tree as the boomerang returned to her grip. She prepared to throw it again.

“You want to put that theory to the test? Don’t fucking try me.” Sango replied with steel in her voice. “Kagome is my best friend and I will hurt anyone who hurts her.”

“My demon blood took complete control! What if I had hurt her?? I can’t risk that!” Inuyasha finally snapped.

“Are you playing at ignorance or are you really that fucking stupid?!” Sango demanded. “Your demon half responded to her! She was able to calm you down with her touch, with her kiss for fuck’s sake! Something nobody should have been able to do. What the hell do you think that means?!”

Shit. Sango had also figured out Kagome was his mate.

“I’m not stupid but she’s a fucking priestess, okay! I’m not gonna make her choose between her duties or me!” Inuyasha yelled.

“Who says she has to choose? And how dare you take that decision away from her. You owe her that much! She’s never had this kind of opportunity before! She deserves a choice!” Sango fired back. “Now, are you going to get your shit together and go talk to her or do I have to waste my time fighting your stupid ass?”

Inuyasha was quiet for a moment, thinking about his options. Sango was clearly not going to budge. She was fiercely loyal, to a fault even, and fighting her would only cause more problems. He had no real desire to fight her either. Kagome was already incredibly upset and as for Miroku, well...the monk was head over heels for Sango, and Inuyasha didn't need his best friend pissed at him too. Sango was also making a lot of sense, assuming what she said about Kagome’s feelings was true. Maybe he had just been too twisted up inside to see all the points she was making. Or maybe he had just needed someone almost as brash and headstrong as he was to get past his stubbornness and point out what should have been obvious.

"Fuck. I'm an idiot." He said aloud.

"Yes, we've already established that." Sango replied. "Now, are you going to go fix things with her?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm goin'." Inuyasha grumbled and began to head back to the shrine. As he passed Sango he paused. "Here, get on my back. I'll carry ya. That leg of yours don't need any more weight put on it."

Sango figured that was his version of an apology to her and accepted his offer. The wound was definitely aching after all the strain she had placed upon it today, as was the injury to her chest after throwing her Hiraikotsu. It would be a few days until she was at one hundred percent again. Or even longer, according to Jinenji. She just hoped Tsubaki didn't strike again in the meantime. Hopefully after the loss of her accomplice and apprentice she would be licking her wounds and need time to regroup.

As they made their way back Sango pulled out her phone, calling Miroku. He answered after the first ring.

“Sango?” His tone was cautious, as if he wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Hey. We’re headed back. You want to meet me by the car?” She said.

Miroku let out a breath he had clearly been holding. “We? As in you and Inuyasha? You’re both...in one piece?”

“Yup.”

“How did you get through to him?”

“Sometimes a straightforward approach is best. Also, I knew some things you probably didn’t. Like--”

“Hey! I’m right fucking here, ya know!” Inuyasha cut in, ears flicking in annoyance. “Can you guys at least wait until I’m not around before you talk about me?”

“Of course, our apologies, Inuyasha.” Miroku said through the phone, although there was amusement in his voice.

“I bet you’re just happy this is dealt with so you can get back to making progress with Sango, whatever that means.” Inuyasha continued snarkily.

Sango blushed at the half demon’s words and wondered what Miroku had told Inuyasha about the things that had happened between them. Unbidden, the image of herself drunk and wrapped around Miroku, as well as the way she had felt his body respond, popped into her mind and she felt a tingle of heat creep through her.

“Can you not get turned on thinking about him when I’m carrying ya?” Inuyasha asked in a disgusted voice.

“What?!” Sango blurted out and Miroku laughed on the other end of the phone.

“Your scent just--” Inuyasha started.

“I’m hanging up now!” Sango rushed out, interrupting him and cutting off Miroku’s reply about how he was really interested in what the change in her scent meant.

Inuyasha snickered at Sango’s obvious embarrassment and she glared at the back of his head.

“Was that really necessary?” She groused at him. Inuyasha just snickered some more. Asshole. Finally they left the forest and were back at the Higurashi residence. Miroku was waiting for her by the car as she had requested and he was grinning. She inwardly groaned. This was just what she needed before having her talk with him.

Inuyasha let Sango down, then turned and bounded up to the window of Kagome’s bedroom. He didn’t bother to tell them goodbye; he had other priorities right now. Such as the girl on the other side of that window. The harsh scent of salt from all her tears she’d likely been crying assailed his sensitive nose. He slid the window open, entering her room and she looked up at his entrance, nose red and eyes puffy from crying. She didn’t look surprised to see him but he had already figured Miroku told her that Sango had convinced him to come and talk to her. She didn’t say anything, just stared at him, tears still falling from those beautiful brown eyes of hers. Fuck.

“Shit. S-stop cryin’!” Inuyasha said, feeling slightly panicky. This was all his fault.

“I can’t just turn it off!!” Kagome yelled, still crying. “You’re the reason I’m crying! You told my mom you wanted to distance yourself from me when I-- when I--” She broke off, unable to finish the sentence, her voice choked by a sob.

Inuyasha crossed the space between them in a few steps and pulled her into an embrace, holding her tightly to him.

"Listen. Romance ain't really my strong suit but clearly I’ve messed up here and seriously misread what you were tryin’ to tell me yesterday.” Inuyasha began. “I’m so sorry, Kagome. But I’m here now.”

“Why the hell did you even try to leave to begin with?”

“Just hear me out, would ya? When I lost control to my demonic half last night...it was one of the few times I’ve ever been so scared in my very long life. I was so close to ripping into you, hurting you… there was only one reason I was able to hold back. And that reason combined with how you had told me you wanted me to forget anything you said or did the night you got drunk, well, I figured you didn’t want a half breed like me.” Inuyasha explained.

“I said that because I thought you wouldn’t ever want me. A priestess. I didn't want things to be awkward. I just--I wanted us to be friends, even if you didn’t like me,” Kagome replied, her face still buried in his chest.

“I told you I liked being around you!”

“That’s not the same as saying you like or love me.” She argued. Then she blushed as she spoke her next words. “Also, I k-kissed you. It doesn’t get much more obvious than that.”

“I know, I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I just thought maybe I was too obvious about my own feelings and...other things, that you somehow figured out your touch was the only way to stop me.”

“What other things? Inuyasha, you said there was only one reason you were able to hold back from hurting me. What was that reason?” Kagome pulled back slightly, but only just enough so that she could gaze up at him. Inuyasha looked slightly uncomfortable.

“I don’t know how much you know about demons and mates but demons only have one. When you meet them, it’s instinctual, you just know. With my human blood it got muddled a little bit when we first met; but I eventually figured out you were mine. That’s the only thing that stopped me from killing you last night. The reason you were able to calm me down. My demon half recognized you as...well, mine.”

Something about being called mine by Inuyasha made warmth bloom inside Kagome’s chest. It felt...right. She wanted to be his.

“Oh.” She said, smiling now. “Why...why didn’t you tell me?”

“Seriously? You have to ask that question?”

“Well, why not?”

“You mean aside from other reasons I just gave??”

Kagome just continued to look at him expectantly.

“You’re a priestess and I’m a half demon. I’ve never heard of any demon mating with a priestess before and figured this was just fate’s way giving me a giant ‘fuck you.’ Kagome, I don’t want to make you choose between your duties and me.” Inuyasha replied. “You don’t have to agree to anything you don’t want to. We can just go on being ‘friends’ or whatever.”

“But I do want you.” She told him honestly, bringing her hands up between them to clutch at his haori. “I want to be with you. I want to be yours. I love you, Inuyasha. I don’t care that you’re a half demon. And I refuse to believe that I can’t be both a priestess and your mate. You’re the only person who has honestly made me feel this way. I just thought… Maybe there was something wrong with me. I don’t know. But I don’t want to give up this feeling.”

Inuyasha’s world stopped for the second time that day. Sango had told him that Kagome had feelings for him, but to hear those words of love and acceptance spilling from her own beautiful pink lips, he could scarcely believe it. He had never imagined anyone would ever love him, ever accept him and want him in the ways she was telling him that she did. He wasn’t one for the mushy stuff but he felt his heart grow full at the sight of the woman in his arms gazing up at him with eyes so full of love and adoration. Fuck, he loved her so much. He had no idea it was possible to care for someone so much.

“Kagome…” He said, voice thick with the emotion that he rarely let show. “God, I love you.”

He leaned down and kissed her, the feel of her lips on his sending fire through his body. She melted into him and moved her hands from his haori to wrap around his neck to keep him in place. Without hesitation, she kissed him back and it only fueled his own passion. His tongue lightly traced the seam of her lips and she parted them, allowing him entry. The way her scent had changed was absolutely intoxicating to him and he lifted her in his arms, practically carrying her, and she enthusiastically climbed him as their kisses turned more heated. Finally, they broke apart, panting and staring into each other’s eyes.

“Sorry. I got a little carried away.” Inuyasha said, his voice husky with desire for her, resting his forehead against hers. “We should take this slowly; I have no idea what mating will do to your powers.”

Kagome giggled, giving him a shy but happy smile. “I’m not complaining. And nothing will happen to my powers.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Inuyasha…” She sighed, half in bliss and half in exasperation. “We’ll talk about it later. For now, I want you to kiss me again. And again. And again.”

Smirking now, Inuyasha was only too happy to obey.

~☆~

Sango fidgeted nervously as she sat on the couch again. Miroku had teased her on the car ride home as she had known he would. He took great pleasure in seeing her grow flustered at the mention of how Inuyasha had said she was getting “turned on by thinking about him.” She should have just slayed that stupid dog demon. The only way she had gotten Miroku to shut up about it was to alternately threaten to remove him from the moving vehicle they were both in (despite the fact that he was driving) and pleading with him to please just wait until they were back home.

“Fine. But I’m not letting you get out this one, not this time. We are definitely talking about it.” Miroku had told her with a knowing smirk and another laugh. She had glared halfheartedly but hadn’t argued. And now the moment of truth was finally upon her, for the second time that day. This time, for sure, she would tell him her feelings. She sat, inches away from where Miroku was sitting next to her, and stared at her hands in her lap, trying to find her voice, trying to figure out where to begin.

“Sango?” Miroku prompted, when her silence had stretched on a little too long. “I know we got interrupted this morning but I’m ready to hear all the things you said you wanted to say to me.”

“Uhm...I know I promised I would, and I want to, but I’m sorry this is just...this is difficult for me. I’m not good at talking about my feelings.” Sango managed, still staring at her hands.

“No, really? I would have never guessed.” Miroku teased sarcastically. Sango gave him an annoyed look and he gave her a lopsided smile in return. Reaching into her lap with his own hands he stilled her fidgeting, holding her hands in his. “Sango, it’s okay. Just talk to me.”

Sango took a deep breath, looking at her hands in his, as she spoke.

“Miroku, I...I know I said a lot of things, and-- and did a lot of things the night I got drunk. Things I wasn’t quite ready for you to hear or admit out loud, even to myself, but now they’re out there in the open and I can’t take it back so I guess I have to be honest now. And I want to be honest with you, about how I feel about you, it’s only fair, but it’s hard. I…I’ve had some bad experiences with guys but you’ve proven yourself to be worthy of my trust so I really don’t have any good excuses to keep putting this off-- to keep denying how you make me feel. And what I want.”

“And how do you feel about me, Sango? What do you want?” Miroku asked, hardly daring to breathe as he waited for her answer.

Sango hesitantly raised her eyes to meet his own. He was looking at her with a quiet intensity and it took her breath away for a moment, her heart fluttering in her chest. Or maybe that was the nerves.

“I...I really like you. I think I may even lo-...love you.” She swallowed, stumbling over the word a little bit and blushing. “I want you. To be with you.”

Miroku felt the air leave his lungs in a rush. She had said it. He used his grip on her hands to pull her the rest of the way to him, then released them in favor of wrapping his arms around her, holding her to him. Resting his chin on top of her head, he was unable to stop himself from embracing her after her heartfelt confession. Waves of desire and love for her were flowing through him. Those words had been music to his ears. He hadn’t expected to hear her say them so soon, and had thought he would have to wait longer. They had only really known each other for about a month, after all, and Sango was reserved when it came to expressing anything like romantic feelings. But she admitted she loved him. He wanted to jump up and celebrate but felt Sango wouldn’t appreciate it so he settled for holding her body tightly to his.

“M-Miroku...I’m not done.” Sango said, her voice muffled a little by his chest.

“Sorry, I couldn’t contain my joy at hearing those words from you, my dear Sango.” Miroku said, kissing the top of her head. “I’m still listening.”

“I was scared of getting hurt but I can tell what you feel for me is genuine. I want to be with you but I’m not fully ready to act on my...my desires. But I don’t want to keep pushing you away, either.”

As if contradicting her words, Sango brought her own arms up and wrapped them around Miroku, and rubbed her face against his chest, letting out a soft sigh.

“And by ‘desires’ you mean…?” Miroku asked leadingly.

“Like when I asked you to s-sleep with me when I was drunk, or getting t-t-turned on thinking about you earlier but--but that’s only because I was remembering the way I had held onto you that night and the way your-- your body--” Her face was bright red. Oh God, what was she saying??

“When my body responded to your rather aggressive sexual advances?” Miroku offered helpfully, trying to control his smirk. She pulled away, releasing him, words still spilling from her lips in an uncontrolled deluge.

“I mean obviously I want to sleep with you-- I mean, Oh God!! I don’t mean I’m dying to sleep with you! I’m not! I mean I want to-- I mean no-- not that I don’t want to or that I don’t find you attractive, because I do, like really attractive-- Oh God, I mean-- and I do want you in that way too but like--”

Oh God, why was she still talking?? She needed somebody to shut her up, say something, anything, to get her to stop talking right now.

“Aren’t you going to say something?!” Sango finally asked him, a little desperately.

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dare interrupt. Please, continue. I’m dying to hear what comes next.” Miroku replied with amusement in his indigo eyes. Sango smacked him on the arm.

“M-my point is, I don’t want to jump into anything physical right away. I don't have much experience with these kinds of things. My first, and only, time wasn’t pleasant and even though I know you would never do to me what he did, I still…” Sango trailed off, feeling incredibly vulnerable. She couldn’t remember the last time she had allowed herself to let her walls down this much for someone, but Miroku had broken through all her defenses so quickly and easily. She trusted him, felt safe opening up to him in ways she hadn’t imagined she ever would.

“I understand. And I’m sorry you had to go through that. You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to.” Miroku told her gently, allowing her the choice to either open up or keep it to herself. She surprised him by telling him exactly what had happened, and it was even worse than what Kagome had said. Not only had this douche ridiculed her scars, after seeing a particularly bad one on her back he hadn’t even finished and pulled out while retching. She was clearly uncomfortable recounting the story, almost ashamed. It made Miroku livid.

“You didn’t deserve that, and he didn’t deserve you. You’re beautiful, Sango.”

“You haven’t even seen the scar.” She protested.

“It doesn’t matter. No scar could ever make you unattractive in my eyes or make me not want you.” Miroku responded without hesitation.

Sango wrapped her arms back around him and rested her head on his shoulder, saying nothing. He hadn’t even said the words, not yet, but still she felt so loved in that moment. Then Miroku shifted and she gave a small yelp of surprise as he pulled her onto his lap. She raised her head to look at him and their faces were so close she could almost taste his breath as she became acutely aware of all the places her body was pressed up against his. She could feel his body heat seeping into her and she wanted to press herself closer to him, wanted to curl up and bask in that warmth.

“So does this mean I can call you my girlfriend, now?” Miroku asked with a lopsided grin.

“Yes, I guess it does.” Sango shyly agreed, giving a smile in return.

“Excellent. Please don’t slap me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to kiss you, now.”

He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, cupping the back of her head with one hand while the other caressed her shoulders before moving south, stopping at the small of her back. Sango leaned into the kiss, keeping one hand on his shoulder and burying the other one in his hair, anchoring herself to him. His lips were so soft against hers and she wanted more. She kissed him back hungrily, allowing herself to take what she had wanted for weeks.

Miroku was momentarily surprised at her enthusiasm but it only incited his own need for her. God, he wanted her so much. Loved her so much. He tasted her and her lips were sweet like cherries. She parted them for him and he needed no further encouragement, taking what she was freely offering. The hand on her back slipped lower to cup her ass, giving a soft squeeze, and before she could stop herself Sango let out a small moan. They both froze, breaking apart and breathing heavily. Sango’s eyes were wide as if she couldn’t believe the sound that had just escaped her mouth, her cheeks flushed. Whether from embarrassment or passion, he couldn’t tell.

“I, uhm…I suppose we should stop.” Sango said with lips swollen by his kisses. She licked them and he followed the movement of her tongue with his eyes before meeting her gaze again. Her chocolate eyes were full of undisguised longing and her cheeks pinked further. Definitely blushing, he decided.

“That’s probably a good idea. Much more of this and I’ll have you on the floor.” Miroku agreed, trying to make a joke out of it, but it was impossible to hide the want in his voice. “Sango, I haven't said this yet, but I love you. Truly, madly, deeply, I am in love with you, and I can’t imagine ever wanting any other woman but you ever again.”

“Miroku…” Sango said his name and it was almost a sigh of content.

“Don’t worry, we’ll stick to just kissing, for now. I’ll wait until you’re comfortable for more. You’re worth the wait.” Miroku told her, then his smile turned into a smirk as his eyes took on a mischievous gleam. “In the meantime there are other, albeit less pleasurable, ways of satisfying myself. And I’ll be thinking about you every single time.” He winked.

Sango’s face turned tomato red and she sputtered. He laughed at her reaction.

“You’re so cute.”

“You didn't have to be so--so--so...honest!! What the hell!!”

“Would you prefer I think about someone else, then?”

“No!!!” Her denial was immediate. He laughed some more and gave her another quick kiss.

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

She smacked his shoulder. He was so impossible. And perverted. But now he was hers. And that thought pleased her.

[absoluteyoongit]

just dance [2]

⇢ pairing: bestfriend!Hoseok x dancer!Reader, more pairings to come

⇢ genre: fluff, some angst

⇢ word count: 3.3K

⇢ warnings: just some swearing

⇢ series summary: Jung Hoseok, your best friend since childhood, is one of the best parts of your life. You have always supported him with everything, including his band BTS. Hoseok always kept you a secret from the rest of the group, but now he’s ready to introduce you to everyone. Who knew your presence would improve the members lives, one more than others.

⇢ author’s note: sorry for the delay. I am working on a schedule for this so I can post regularly! banner made by the talented @purpleskies1999​

_________________________________________________________________

Heavy breathing filled the otherwise silent studio, marking the end of BTS’ dance practice for the day. The boys had spent the past three hours straight working and all of them wanted a break.

Hoseok, regaining composure first, patted all the members on the back. After a ‘good job’ here and ‘better than yesterday’ there from their dance leader, signaled to the members that they could leave.

Yoongi, first to head out feet dragging, grumbled, “I want a nap.”

“I’ll start making some dinner," Jin muttered, following after.

“Dibs on shower!" Jungkook shouted.

“No way! I called dibs before practice started," Taehyung challenged.

“That doesn’t count.”

“Yes, it does!”

The two continued arguing as Hoseok watched the rest of the members file out. Jimin glanced back, “You coming?”

“Naw” Hobi sighed, “I want to try some things out before finishing for the day.”

Jimin nodded, closing the door behind him and the room was quiet once again.

Hoseok’s eyes left the door, moving towards his phone to play the song over again. He was a perfectionist, wanting to show up for the rest of the members and to do that he needed to practice more. He hesitated before pressing play, his mind wandered; the bags under his eyes felt extra heavy right then.

Hoseok couldn't deny it anymore, he was exhausted.

He was tired of the constant busy schedule. He loved his job but sometimes the group became so busy that the nights bled into days without so much of a wink of sleep. This went on for months at a time for them; it was too much.

Hoseok felt like he couldn't slip up once. He was considered the team's constant ray of sunshine by their fans, the media and even most of the members themselves. That was the world’s J-Hope. He was always there for his brothers when they needed a pick-me-up even if they never realized sometimes he needed one too.

The break the company was giving them this upcoming weekend could be hardly called an actual break. They were taking him and the boys to a natural spring for a ‘spa day’, which sounds nice on paper but Hoseok knew it was probably to film another Run episode. While filming those with the boys was usually fun the whole group craved an actual break.

Hoseok gaze dropped back to his phone, resigning to be the dance leader he needed to be for now. Before he could resume the music they needed to hone their routine for his phone rang. Your face popped up on the screen. The photo was blurry because he was in the middle of running away from you as he took it. You had caught him taking photos and flipped him off before chasing him. You always shied away from the camera and while the other pictures from that day were amusing, nothing says y/n more than a blurry image of you giving him the bird.

Hoseok’s eyes brightened at the sight, answering it immediately.

“y/n?! I haven't heard from you in a while. What is up my friend!”

He heard your chuckle from the other end, “Ah– you know the usual, just got done working for the day on a new routine I’m figuring out.”

“I’m doing the exact same thing. We are in sync still after all this time. I am touched,” Hoseok dramatically cried, wiping a fake tear away. Your unamused silence had him jumping back to his excited demeanor, “Anyways, will you tell me what the song is? Or do I have to find out when you finally post it like everyone else?”

“HAH! You’re not special. You’re gonna have to wait with everyone else- especially cause I want this one to be a surprise.”

Hoseok huffed. He knew he would not get anything out of you. Being stubborn was probably one of your biggest character traits but that was okay– he loved riling up your stubborn side as he pestered you. Almost as much as you liked cracking his sunshine nature. That was your dynamic. You two behaved like an old bickering married couple. If anyone observed him act the way he does around you they would have thought he was another person entirely. 

Y/n brought out a whole other side to him, one that he thought was more real but the rest of the world didn't want to see. That's why you were so special to him. Besides all the good times the two of you had, you made him feel the most himself.

Your laughter died down, "Anyways I was just calling to check in on you and uh– to say that I missed you– just a little bit."

Hobi's smile turned solemn. He missed his best friend so much. The life he lived gave him few moments of reprieve, so much so he never had the time to hang or even talk with anyone besides the boys and sometimes his family, so he appreciated the little moments like this the most.

"Aish, y/n. Why do you have to turn things sad– you know I miss you so much too. I need more than just these boys hanging around me sometimes."

"I'm sure living with them, working with them and being friends with them leaves you wanting to escape sometimes– even if just a little. I know you love your boys though."

Hobi sighed, you weren't wrong. He loved the boys a lot but he wanted–no needed–some alone time. He couldn't even escape to his room if he desired because he still shared with Jimin.

You were much different than the boys. He missed dancing with you. He missed your loud laughter, he missed your constant teasing, he missed you. Maybe seeing you would shake this exhaustion away.

An idea popped into his head. He and the boys had their “weekend trip” planned but Hoseok was sure he could muster up a convincing excuse to escape it. Pure excitement and hope shot up his veins.

"What are you doing this weekend?" Hobi rushed out, effectively cutting off the rant you started about the crazy coffee lady from earlier that day.

"Oh– umm...let me think."

Hobi bit back a smile. He could imagine your thinking face as clear as day: nose scrunching up and eyes turning into slits as you looked up into the sky.

"I have a shift at work Friday night and then I teach a class at the studio Saturday mornings. I don't care about doing my homework for class, so I am free other than that. Why do you ask?" anticipation clear in your voice.

"Well because I am coming to visit you. I haven't seen you in months. So, I think I deserve some time with my favorite human."

It was your turn to smile, Hoseok hit a soft spot with that comment. You knew your friend had the biggest smirk on his face as he said that, knowing full well your soft but you don't like to show it. Comments like that make your heart constrict.

"You actually have time off? Bighit finally letting you off the leash?"

"Well not exactly. We do have the weekend off but all the boys are supposed to go on a trip together but I am going to weasel my way out for you."

You comically sob, "Oh! You'd do that for me? I can't believe the Jung Hoseok of BTS is going to escape his confinement for me. Get you a real hoe that ditches his bros for you. Hoes before bros this time."

Hoseok barked out a laugh, "Yes, the Jung Hoseok is going to abandon his bros for his favorite hoe."

"Your favorite hoe? I am your only hoe. THEE HOE. Hoseok's hoe," you challenged.

"Shit, okay, you're right you are my one and only hoe. Even though Taehyung likes to think he is sometimes."

Laughter breaks out between the two of you at your combined silliness. It felt really really good to talk to him like this. It was a rarity.

"Anyhow, when are you going to be gracing me with your presence. I know I got a pretty free schedule but I can't just stare at my door all day till you show up," you chuckled.

"When does your dance class end on Saturday? I can swing by after and we could maybe dance a little if you're not tired."

You scoff, holding two fingers up even though he couldn’t see, "There are two things I will never tire from: dancing and amusement parks."

A loud groan resonated from over the phone, "I still cannot believe I'm friends with someone who loves roller coasters. You will be the death of me."

"Hey! I ask for one thing and one thing only for my birthday, and that's for you to ride the biggest coaster at the park with me. That is not too much of an ask."

"Yah! it is for me."

"Whatever scaredy-cat. The point is that I will always have the energy to dance," you pause hearing his hum in agreement, "especially if it's with you," you end with a whisper.

Now Hoseok was even more upset than before. He needed to see you, whatever it took.

"I promise I'll get out of this trip with the boys and we can hang out this whole weekend, just the two of us."

The two of you stood in silence, only the sound of each other's breaths danced across your ears. It was weird. You knew you missed him, a lot, but talking to him now and hearing his voice felt different. There was a stronger ache in your heart, more so than you have ever felt before. You loved your best friend so much and it finally clicked in your head how much your life sucked without him in it daily.

"You better keep that promise, Jung."

"Have I ever broken a promise before?"

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

"Excuse me, miss? Can I order?"

Your eyes that had been staring off into space snapped to the elderly man before you.

"Oh, my apologies sir! What can I get for you?"

You smiled taking his order but as soon as he paid and left your sight the smile faded. Glancing at the watch on your wrist, the slow ticking of the hands mocking you as you stared. You had another two hours of your shift left. You huffed, shifting your legs back and forth as you anxiously waited for another customer to distract you.

You were nervous. Which was totally unlike you but for some reason, you couldn't help it. This was going to be the first time you were seeing Hoseok in months but It felt longer than that. So much longer. At least that's what you tried to convince yourself as the reason why you were nervous to see your childhood best friend.

Maebum, your favorite coworker, could see something was very wrong from just the way you fiddled with your hands. The two hands looked dry and cracked as you continuously rubbed them in front of you.

"Hey sweetie, what's up with you today? I have never seen you this wound up." her gaze on you held so much worry. You try to smile to placate her but it didn't reach your eyes.

"I am fine Mae. I just had a long week." you lie.

She gave you a pointed look that screamed 'I don't believe a word you are saying'.

You sigh in defeat. Mae's superpower was reading people and detecting bullshit, it’s what made her a great manager. That power combined with her extreme compassion meant that she was not going to let this go.

"I just had a talk with my friend that I haven't seen in a while. He told me he was going to visit this weekend and I guess I'm kinda nervous– or something like that. I don't know."

You fiddled with your fingers more, glancing around the cafe in hope a customer would come in and save you from this conversation. You were already a nervous mess, you didn't need Mae trying to pry more information and feelings out of you.

"Are you nervous because you don't think things will be the same? Or is it something else?"

Mae's eyes searched yours looking for an unspoken answer.

"I guess it’s partly that? Maybe? I don't know. I think that's partly why I am anxious because I don't know why I am nervous at all.” 

You groan in frustration "I just really miss him and hope things go okay because maybe that will mean I will see him more," you turn back to Mae with a dejected expression, "at least that is the wish anyway."

Mae softly grinned down at you, "I'm sure it'll all go well, sweetheart. If he really was your best friend seeing him will feel like the distance never existed in the first place."

At that assurance, your heart swelled. She was right. This wasn't the first time you saw Hoseok after a long break. Things were never awkward or weird, so why should this be any different.

"You know what, that actually helped a lot. Thank you Mae." a large grin plastered on your face. 

She reached up and ruffled your hair, "Anytime sweetie."

Turning back to register you excitedly greet the next customer who walks in, ready to take their order. The rest of your shift passed quick after Mae’s intervention. Her words really did help but a small part of you could not ignore the subtle soreness of your heart. It felt as if careful hands cradled it, applying pressure that made it impossible to take a deep breath. You hoped those hands would not crush it.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Hoseok was nervous. That much was certain as his legs bounced from his seat on the shared living room couch.

Yoongi had been silently watching Hoseok from the other side of the room for some time now. It was very strange to see his friend this worked up and it alarmed him a little. Not enough to make a scene but enough to make a mental note to talk to Namjoon about it later.

Taking a sip from his iced coffee, Yoongi wondered what Hoseok could be worried about. Was it the new routine the group was learning? He noticed how the dancer had stayed late at the dance studio after regular practice was over. Yoongi's lip jutted out. No, it couldn't be that. The routine was difficult but nothing the rest of the boys couldn't handle learning on their own. Was it the trip that they were planning to go on tomorrow? Yoongi knew it was still technically work, as much as he hated that, but it was still supposed to be a lowkey weekend. One that all the boys desperately needed.

Yoongi and Hoseok were now both lost in their own thoughts when the two maknaes entered the room.

Jungkook and Taehyung stopped in their tracks as they eyed their two silent hyungs from the doorway. Comically looking back and forth between the two brothers with wide eyes.

"Hey, Tae-hyungie? What do you think they're doing" Jungkook whispered, leaning towards his older brother.

Taehyung continued looking between the hyungs in the living room. One was staring off into space and the other’s whole body was vibrating from how fast his legs were bouncing.

"I have no idea, Kook. We just came for the snacks, remember. Stick to the mission." Taehyung reminded him, patting Jungkook’s chest and starting forward. 

Jungkook held him back, "Hyung– look at them. They look like they could use some brotherly love." The maknae gave Tae a pointed look and gestured for him to save Yoongi from whatever spell he seemed to be under.

Tae huffed, upset he wasn't getting his snacks anytime soon, but willingly trudged over to his older friend. Taking another look at him Taehyung noticed Yoongi chewing on the straw in his iced coffee, something he never does, and his eyes scrunched in deep thought.

Pulling the now empty coffee cup out of his hyung's hands he finally got Yoongi's attention.

"Taehyung? When did you get here?" Yoongi blinked in confusion. He definitely did not register the maknaes entering the room. He was still too focused on Hobi and why he could be so stressed out right now.

"Me and Kook wanted some snacks before we watched the next episode of our drama but when we got here both of you looked so out of it. Is everything okay?" Taehyung's eyebrows creased in concern.

Yoongi’s shoulders slumped. He didn't know if everything was okay. All he knew was that Hobi was anxious for some reason and that worried him.

"Hobi has been sitting there for the past hour either looking straight ahead or looking at his phone. I haven't seen him this stressed in a while."

Taehyung scowled, he hated seeing the dancer with a frown on his face, it was unnatural.

Their gazes landed on the backs of the maknae and their distressed dancer across the room. Hopefully, Jungkook could bring out a little spring in Hoseok's step today.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it, Hyung? Whatever’s going on seems to be upsetting you."

"Aish Jungkook, you just won't let up will you? If you really want to know, fine. I don't want to go on the trip tomorrow. I really don't want to and I have been sitting here for who knows how long trying to think of an excuse to tell you all and especially the company."

Hoseok dropped his head with a sigh, rubbing his neck, "I didn't want to make you guys upset or anything I just wanted an actual break, ya know. I want to talk to our managers to see what we can do about it. I hope it's not too late because I don't plan on going anywhere tomorrow even if they have to drag me."

One thing that he didn't admit to the boys was the plan to stay with his best friend this weekend instead of them. How was he going to make an excuse to not spend time with them this weekend? Even if he could convince the company to let them have a break. He wanted to keep you a secret. The special way you made him feel was for himself only. He didn't care that he was being selfish. He knew the moment he introduced you to the group it would no longer be just Hoseok and Y/n. He already shared so much with the boys, why couldn't he be selfish just this once?

The room fell back into silence. The rest of the boys were shocked by Hoseok's admission. They knew he was the happy type that always went with the flow. They never thought he never got stressed but they have never seen him this dejected and drained.

"I am sure we can talk to the company about this Hyung." 

Hoseok turned and looked over his shoulder at Taehyung, eyes tired. "I don't know. It's really last minute and we are supposed to leave tomorrow. I don't think the company would let us opt out of it. I was planning on pretending I was sick or something."

Yoongi's eyebrows scrunched more. It was that serious that Hoseok was prepared to fake an illness to get out of the trip.

"We can talk to the others. I am sure they would prefer an actual weekend off compared to what our manager is promising."

"Yeah! With all of us protesting we may actually convince them you know."

The tired dancer looked at each of his brothers in the eye and let out a breath. "Alright. Let's go talk with the others."

The other three all stole a glance at each other as Hoseok got up from the couch and strode out of the room to his bedroom. None of them said anything but each knew they had to call off this trip somehow, some way. They needed to give their most hardworking friend the break he deserved. 

"Who's going to call our manager?"

"Not me!"

"Aish you two, just get Namjoon to do it."

[previous]~[next]

[dukeofonions]

How do you feel about the upload schedule for sanders sides? It’s been 10 months since the last proper episode. Also, I read a post on another blog about how they feel him hiring his friends leads to a slower production process due to messing around. Thoughts on that? Also also, do you think that since YT is his job, he should upload more? these are things I am thinking of tonight.

Not to worry anon, these are things I think about a lot because I have nothing better to do with my life. 

Seeing as I joined the fandom shortly after Can Lying Be Good? came out, the longest my first wait for a new episode wasn’t that long actually. The video came out in February but I didn’t see it until early March. The next episode Logic vs Passion, came out in April. So it didn’t bother me much. And right after that we got Crofters: The Musical so I was on the hype train and fully invested. 

Then we didn’t get another episode until October which left me a bit antsy, but I was still excited anyway and didn’t mind the wait. Embarrassing Phases then came out that December. So we got two videos within a fairly short time span. 

SVS Part 1 came out that next year in March, again, bit of a wait, but it’s becoming standard now that we get a couple of new episodes every few months. No biggie. We get Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts in June, Asides in November... This newest one just came out now in May... 

Yeah, if we hadn’t been given that Asides, we would have had almost a year-long wait for this next episode. And we did have a year-long wait for the follow up to a video that honestly, kinda made me think “Why do we still care about this? I’m not really invested in the “Wedding or callback” dilemma anymore” which, when you’re trying to tell a story using this medium, the last thing you want is your audience to lose interest in something that’s meant to be this big of an event within the series. 

And what do all these videos have in common? Each one uses some kind of gimmick. CLBG and SVS had them filming in different locations, Logic vs Passion, LNTAO, and POF involved them using different mediums to tell the story (animations and puppets) Crofters and DWIT both had music in them, and Embarrassing Phases had the costumes. 

Before that, the videos were all fairly simple. Maybe a few gimmicks here and there, but none of them went to the same level as these other ones. 

Basically, what’s happening here is that with each new episode, the team is trying to bring something new to the table each time, and their solution is to use a different gimmick. Which, in theory, is fine. But I honestly believe these are doing more harm than good. For one thing, not everyone is a fan of these gimmicks and while sometimes they can be used to benefit the story, other times they just take over and the writing suffers for it. 

The main reason (as far as we know) that this newest episode in particular took so long was because of the video game animations they wanted to use, but after watching the video besides a few instances, they really weren’t necessary to have. 

And I plan to make a whole other post on this topic so I’ll leave it there for now. In regards to Thomas hiring more of his friends to work on episodes? Again, it’s good in theory, but I for one have noticed a certain change in the episodes since they brought on more writers, which officially started with Embarrassing Phases where Thomas said in the live stream following it that it was the first episode he really didn’t work on and it shows (but more on that in another post) I do think the other writers are talented people, but maybe all of them shouldn’t be working on Sanders Sides. 

Each one is gonna have their own preferences for each character and ideas that may clash, and if these were simply coworkers, it wouldn’t be as much of a problem shutting down ideas that go too far. But when they’re literally all your friends, you have that connection to them and you don’t want them hurt, which can make saying “No” to certain things much harder. I’m not sure exactly how the writing team gets along so I can only speculate based on what I’ve learned from live streams. 

As for their inclusion making the production for videos longer, I can also understand that seeing as you’re more inclined to goof off with people you’re close and comfortable with, especially when you’re not in a professional setting. Which, in Thomas’ case, he’s usually at home with his friends around. This automatically makes things more casual and one would feel more relaxed and not worry too much about being serious. Which, when you’re trying to get things done, can be a problem.

I’m gonna briefly use my own workplace as an example: I work in fast food, and all of my coworkers get along really well. We like to joke around and have fun, especially when we’re slow. But as soon as things start picking up it’s like a switch is flipped and we go from “Fun mode” to “work mode” just like that. Sure, we might continue to quip and joke with each other. But we never let it take precedence over the work that needs to be done. Some of our coworkers, don’t understand this. And when the rest of us are trying to work, they’re still goofing off. And in fast food, if just one person isn’t doing their job, it can bring everything crashing down. We have customers waiting in line for almost ten minutes, they get angry, they get mad at us, even if it’s just because of one person not doing their job. But we don’t have time to argue. We accept their complaints and do our best to fix the issue and get things moving again. 

Obviously, what Thomas does is very different from working in fast food, but Youtube is still his job. Logan puts it best in LNTAO, “Thomas made a commitment to regularly sharing content. He must be held accountable.” 

Now in fast food, we are most definitely held accountable by the customers if their food isn’t delivered in a timely manner or isn’t made to their liking, and we as the providers of said product, have to heed their words and make the product to their liking in order to ensure their satisfied. If they’re not satisfied, they won’t want to pay. Simple as that. 

Thomas, on the other hand, is never held accountable by his fanbase. Now I’m not saying it’s a bad thing for him to have such a supportive fandom, heck I wish the customers I had to deal with on a regular basis were as understanding. But honestly, the way the majority of this fandom blindly follows Thomas and holds him on this golden pedestal is... 

Kinda creepy... 

He is surrounded by constant praise, hardly any criticism, and I believe that’s why we hardly get content from him. 

Quick note, I understand that part of why this video in particular was delayed due to the pandemic and I respect their decision to not put themselves or anyone else at unnecessary risk for the sake of a Youtube video.  However, plenty of Youtubers are still making and posting regular content on their channels despite this. To me, the main issue with Thomas’ content as of late is that he tries to put too much into what should be simple things. I understand wanting to give your audience the very best, but honestly, in my opinion, his newer content isn’t as good as the older stuff. It all had just such a simple, wholesome charm to it, that’s now been replaced with a fancier production and flashy editing. Not only that, they tend to start way too many projects at once, which result in never getting done.

You guys remember when they said they’d be bringing back Story Time Madlibs? That was last year, and the most recent thing we’ve heard about it is that they want to add more to it by including animations made by different people! Which will only increase the amount of time it will take to make what should have been a simple video that shouldn’t have taken more than a couple of weeks to film, edit, then post. 

I’m not saying they shouldn’t try new things, but they’ve been trying to do so much that we end up getting nothing, and the fandom just seems okay with this. 

At the end of the day though, this is just one opinion from a random faceless, nameless person sitting behind a computer screen. I doubt anyone on Thomas’ team will see it. I doubt a majority of the fandom would agree with any of it. But with more people starting to voice their opinions, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes too much of a thing to ignore. And if it becomes apparent that there’s a group in the fandom that is being ignored, that’s definitely going to cause problems.

Because in short if someone is out there, producing content for people, and they have complaints about it, then if those complaints are legitimate and can be fixed, then I believe it is the responsibility of that person to consider what they are saying and do their best to heed their words. If no one is ever criticized, then how will they ever improve? Criticism is not a bad thing. And once people get that out of their heads I think things will go much smoother for this fandom. But honestly, that’s just wishful thinking at this point. Sorry this answer got so long, I really should have just made a whole other post about this. XD

[ao3bronte]

Santa Shuffle🎅🎄

After what has been an admittedly tumultuous December (‘Bronte: Attack of the Anons’ was basically the theme at the beginning of my holiday season), I decided to try something that would lift my spirits. I love games and surprises so rather than bang my head against the wall trying to come up with another story, I decided to create little Christmas drabbles based on the following rules:

Put Spotify on shuffle and start playing Christmas songs.

For each song, write something inspired by the song. 

Do 10 songs and post. Make sure to include the song name/artist.

Please sit back and enjoy!​🎅🎄

~

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - Michael Bublé

The stars are shining from behind the ever-present layer of wintertime clouds, floating like lanterns in the dark. Tonight, Chat Noir feels as if he’s soaring amongst them, gazing up at the brilliant lights that emanate from the canvas of twilight sky. Brightly decorated Christmas trees sit like beacons in the middle of crowded squares that teem with winter markets and roasted chestnuts and Chat simply can’t keep his feelings back any longer, glowing with a wild abandon he has never known.

As always, he’s right where he belongs.

He lets go of his baton and tosses his body into the air, somersaulting over a bevy of twinkling Christmas lights. He banks right and ventures off further onto the familiar rooftops of Paris, healing the gashes in his soul long scabbed over. There’s nothing like the feeling of the holidays, lost within the colourful heights and cheerful carols, never falling. He smiles, his heart bursting with a feeling he can only describe as true, utter bliss.

Christmas in Paris is coming, and for the first time ever, he actually has a home.

Mistletoe - Justin Bieber

There are people everywhere, packed within the vast confines of the main hall of Le Grand Paris. They’re dancing, feasting, laughing, screaming, kissing, drinking, having the time of their lives.

It’s a Christmas party and the Champagne is flowing. Things are going to get a little sloppy.

He spies her from the other side of the hall and they lock eyes, a smirk full of promise playing on her lips. She’s been canoodling and chatting up her network like a true professional while Adrien admires from afar, content to watch her sashay in that gorgeous red handmade gown he loves so very much. The open back, the plunging neckline, the figure hugging silk he just wants to…

...well, he has to be on his best behaviour. They’re in public after all.

But, like most parties this time of year, there are punches and bottles of sparkling wine a plenty, which means that no one is acting with enough propriety to notice the heat emanating between them. He returns her saucy gesture with a raised eyebrow and a smug grin and it’s one of those take it or leave it smirks, the kind that teases and promises so much more.

She pushes through the crowd, her eyes never leaving his, and he stands his ground, limbs tingling with both excitement and slight intoxication. He can feel her lingering on her lips, a memory of something intangibly right, and shifts his body so that he’s standing right where he needs to be in order to make this little game of his all worthwhile.

She notices, of course. She always does.

“Mistletoe?” she questions him, crossing her arms across her chest. The action only accentuates her décolletage and Adrien’s mouth begins to water, “Really?”

He doesn’t even bother trying to answer. Instead, he takes her by the waist and kisses her senseless.

Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town - Bruce Springsteen

Chat Noir grins widely and drops his enormous bag of toys onto the floor just outside of the elevator. He shares a private look with Ladybug, one full of apology for the deluge of children galloping down the hall in their direction, and opens his arms with a laugh.

“HO HO HO!” he hollers with excitement, completely and utterly attacked by children who are so excited to see him that they can hardly contain themselves. Ladybug scoops the toys out of the way just as her partner is thoroughly taken down by the rabid pack and laughs as they tug on his fake beard and Santa hat.

He manages to extricate himself eventually and toddles around the hospital ward with an enthusiastic flock of enamoured children in tow. Santa Noir delivers a personalized gift to each child stuck in the children’s hospital over the holidays and poses for selfies by the thousands while Ladybug follows behind, laughing as he regularly whips out his best impressions of Santa himself. 

And then he starts to sing.

“You better watch out,” he wags his finger, much to the children’s delight, “You better not pout! You better not cry, I’m telling you why. Santa Claws is coming to town!”

A hundred voices chime in for the chorus, waving jingle bells and laughing as Chat performs the latest Fortnite dance for them. It’s embarrassing and hilarious and honestly? 

Ladybug has never been more in love.

River - Robert Downey Jr.

He’s never told a soul, and so long as he knew, no one had been around when he’d finally lost his composure and cried.

He’d collapsed onto his haunches and wept out loud into his palms, frustrated and upset and drowning in a myriad of emotions he can’t categorize without losing anymore of his precious sanity. Why was he out here again? Why was he wasting his time – again – for someone who couldn't even spend a moment of his Christmas Eve to be with his son?

Oh right. 

Because that someone was his father.

He’d cried harder, heaving into the night air without being able to stop himself. 

Why did Maman have to go away?

Step Into Christmas - Elton John

Marinette giggles as Adrien grabs her hands and swings her around her parent’s living room, dancing the night away. The Christmas bops playing off of Marinette’s Spotify playlist are just the thing to convince her to get off the couch after way too much turkey and join him in a little Santa Samba around the Christmas tree.

“Stoooop,” she laughs, not really meaning it as he wraps one arm around her body and captures her hand in his, “Maman’s taking videos of us.”

“For the wedding!” Sabine coos as Adrien spins her in a gentle underarm pirouette and Adrien can’t help but grin.

“Come on Marinette,” Adrien pulls back and shimmies to the jazzy jam, “You can’t deny the chemistry between us.”

“We’re engaged, you doofus,” Marinette scolds him fondly, squeaking as he pulls her back into his chest, “Of course we have chemistry.”

“Which is why we need to practice dancing,” Adrien slots his feet between hers and leads her into a dizzying spiral of turns, “And what better time to do it than on Christmas Eve with my favourite people?”

“Flaterer,” Marinette shakes her head as Tom cheers from the kitchen.

“Dip her! Dip her!”

“NONONO!”

Adrien can’t deny his future father-in-law, now can he? With a side splitting laugh, Adrien lunges forwards and gracefully lowers the love of his life in his arms, pausing only to wink at the camera.

Santa Tell Me - Ariana Grande

Marinette holds her favourite picture of Adrien to her chest and sighs as the latest Gabriel holiday commercial plays on repeat in the background. Adrien stares in awe up at the snow that cascades from the sky, surrounded by Christmas decorated in black and white baubles and metallic ornaments. It’s for another perfume line, this one heavy on frankincense and ginger, and Marinette just wants to bury her face in the crook of Adrien’s perfectly popped collar and drink him in.

He’s perfect.

She would do anything to go on a date with him right now. They could go to the Christmas market together, hand in hand, or sip on hot chocolate in front of a crackling fire. They could decorate gingerbread cookies in her bakery and then go to the annual Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony together so they could kiss under the fairy lights!

They would be amazing together.

Marinette checks her calendar and sees that Adrien has a packed schedule of modelling and extracurriculars for the foreseeable future and shrugs, still holding onto hope. Maybe, with just a little bit of luck on her side, she could admit her true feelings and fall in love this Christmas…

All I Want For Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey

Three seconds in the same room with her and he’s practically on the floor, on his knees, head spinning from the sheer emotion of it all. He’d just walked in on her pulling her beautiful, gorgeous black hair out of her ponytails for the mayor’s Christmas Party at Le Grand Paris and thought he’d died and gone to heaven.

Her blue eyes were like the ocean.

Her legs went on for miles.

He pines for her like a puppy. He’d do anything for her.

(He bets she tastes like strawberries.)

“Face it,” Rena Rouge mutters, nudging Ladybug lightly with her elbow. Ladybug glances over in the direction her fellow heroine is pointing and sighs, tugging her bangs in front of her eyes in embarrassment, “He’s got it bad.”

Facing her lovestruck partner, Ladybug takes a weary breath and simply surrenders, “Don’t remind me.”

You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch - Thurl Ravenscroft

Ladybug and Chat Noir exchange glances across the battleground, grinning like Cheshire cats in the gloom. She grips her yoyo in her palm, squeezing the unbreakable spotted material with her fingers. Chat fiddles idly with the base of his baton, his confidence boosted tenfold.

“I’m sorry, Bugaboo,” he drawls, his glowing eyes mischievous, “Could you repeat that?”

“Of course, Kitty,” she replies, equally as sardonic, “I was just discussing how fun it would be to go cataclysme Le Papillon’s head off. After ruining Christmas Day for everyone in Paris, don’t you think he deserves it?”

Standing within the ruins of the mansion’s west wing, the villain in question starts stepping backwards slowly, only to be impeded by a gigantic hunk of plaster clipping him in the back of the knees. The butterfly Miraculous wielder falls backwards onto his backside as the murderous duo stand over him, their expressions identical.

“Stop!” Le Papillon cries, raising his palms in surrender, “I’m doing this for her! For Émilie!”

“Don’t bring Maman into this,” Chat Noir hisses, spinning his baton in the light of the fire. A few years ago, Adrien might have surrendered then and there. But now?

Now he had his new family to protect.

“Shall I do the honours?”

Chat smiles and motions with his arm invitingly, eyes grazing his fuming fiancé, “The honours all yours.”

Whisking her yoyo’s string around with a cracking thwack so loud even Chat can’t help but wince, his heavily pregnant partner brings her magical weapon down on Le Papillon’s head with a crunch.

Christmas In New York - Lea Michelle

Marinette Dupain-Cheng squares her shoulders and grins widely, stepping out through the revolving doors of the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City. The thrill of life in the Big Apple fills her heart with excitement as she spins around and waves at the doorman.

“Merry Christmas, Miss Dupain-Cheng!”

“Merci!” she chimes, smiling at him over her shoulder. There’s a limousine waiting for her out front and the chauffeur opens the back door as she approaches, taking her gloved hand in his so she doesn’t trip, “Are we headed to work, Miss Dupain-Cheng?”

Marinette offers him a cheeky grin, “Can we get stuck in traffic for an hour or two? I need to do a little shopping for my friends and family before I fly home.”

“Of course,” her chauffeur dips his head, his own smirk hidden by his impressive mustache, “I suppose the traffic must be terrible near Fifth Avenue at this time of day.”

“I agree,” Marinette settles into the leather seats of the stretch limo and relishes in the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. She’s so excited to return to Paris after two wonderful weeks overseas working with the crème de la crème of the American fashion world, no thanks to her business with Jagged Stone. She’s walked through a festively decorated Central Park and taken selfies from the top of the Rockefeller Centre. She’s even watched the Rockettes perform their high flying kicks at Radio City and visited the Macy’s Christmas window display! The city that never sleeps hasn’t disappointed her in the slightest, especially draped in the red and greens of Christmastime.

She passes by beautiful holiday trees and flickering fairy lights as they weave their way through Manhattan and, although she can’t wait to hug her Maman and Papa at the airport in just a few more days, she’s already planning her next Christmas in New York.

Bring Me Love - John Legend

Sliding across his apartment floor in his Christmas socks, Adrien clutches a banana in his hand and sings into the stem with all the excitement and enthusiasm of a man who’s about to rock his fiancé’s world. He wiggles his hips and kicks his free leg, boogying down to the saxophone and bass and he is feeling fabulous, the tree is looking fabulous and everything is absolutely fabulous. Marinette would be thrilled with his decorating skills, especially since he’s been left to his own devices for the past two weeks while she’s been away on business. She’ll be landing in Charles du Gaulle in just a few short hours and Adrien has cookies baking in the oven (dough courtesy of Tom, of course) and mistletoe hanging over the doorway. All he needs to make his Christmas homecoming a success would be having his beautiful, successful, gorgeous fiancé by his side.

If only Santa would bring her home faster!

He’s put on his Rudolph boxers for the special occasion and bops his shower soggy hair to the beat, letting it fly everywhere. It might be -8℃ outside but it’s toasty warm inside their little flat in Le Marais and Adrien intends to put the love in their lovenest tonight.

He drops it low and snaps, spinning around on the balls of his feet. He feels amazing and there’s adrenaline and an irrepressible joy surging through his veins as he hops onto the cushions of the couch and channels his inner Beyoncé, howling the high notes with all his might. He can’t hold in his love any longer and leaps off the furniture with a karate kick, landing in a crouch only to pop back up again with a pirouette that would have put his alter ego’s talents to shame.

A giggle from the kitchen leaves him skidding in his tracks.

“Who’s there?”

Her face half hidden by her mittens, a thoroughly amused Marinette steps into the colourful glow of the Christmas tree, “Are you wearing Rudolph boxers?”

Adrien, for all intents and purposes, has never been happier to hear the love of his life critique his undergarments, “MARINETTE!”

“Hey Kitt—mmpf!”

Capturing her lips in a bruising kiss, Adrien drops his banana and spins her around in a searing embrace that leaves them both dizzy and breathless. When he finally sets her back down onto the floor, Marinette is thoroughly smitten with her fiancé all over again.

“Miss me?” he asks, peppering every centimetre of exposed skin with kisses, “Because I thought I was going to wither away to nothing if you were gone for another minute.”

“I missed you,” Marinette’s knees quiver as he undoes her winter coat and throws it onto the kitchen counter behind them, “I missed you so much.”

“Oh my god, your voice,” Adrien wraps his arms around her waist and buries his face in her neck, “Your smell, your skin, your hair, your lips. You are never leaving for that long ever again without me.”

Marinette laughs and Adrien soaks in the beautiful sound, “Deal.”

“Good,” Adrien says, still damp and half naked, “How did I do?”

He gestures to the decorations draped all over their studio apartment and Marinette feels her heart stutter beneath the absolute flood of emotion thudding through her chest, “You did amazing, Adrien. It looks beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he kisses her again, “Christmas must have come early because all I wished for was you.”

Pressing their foreheads together, Marinette boops him on the nose, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

💋Bronte

[the-hetchia-universe]

So i found i miciti disney of phantom blot!

And i wanted to share the translated version of the interview ! ( and i like he has some kinda story behind the interview. The extras will be on a reblog post.)

"If I didn't have a heart of gold..."

Meeting within the walls of the prison with the one who likes to call himself a villain unique in style, intelligence and personality. A true emperor of crime, if it were not for the too much sensitivity that makes him hate violence and has prevented him on various occasions to get rid of the enemy Mickey, for now.

When it was decided to dedicate a volume - and a coin - to The Phantom blot, it was prudently placed towards the end of the series, in the belief that sooner or later the person concerned would be available for the ritual interview.

The reasoning did not make a wrinkle: more than six months would have been enough for him to try to pull off one of his famous shots, which would have been followed by the probable (not to say inevitable) arrest, and so it would have been easy to meet him in the cooler.

And instead, time has passed and no news of the lantitante Phantom blot has been heard.

That he had decided to take a long vacation or, even worse, to retire permanently from...business?

The only hope of not being forced to write with blank pages was placed in the major expert of the black character and his nemesis for sixty years, and that is Mickey. Who immediately reassured us. "No, Phantom Blot doesn't know what the holidays are," he said convinced.

"And as for the idea of retiring, I don't think it ever even crossed his twisted mind. He's not the type to sit on his hands, and even if he was, he'd never retire before he took me off the streets. He swore it to me... and he's not the type to break his word."

But then how did you explain him not talking about himself for so long? 

"He's on a break," sentenced Mickey. "he's preparing a big score... and I know which one too!"

At the Mousetown Research Center, very advanced studies were underway on a device to make people invisible. Very secret studies, of course, but not for Phantom Blot, as revealed by an ingenious electronic bug system discovered by chance at the Center.

There was no doubt that he was the one who planted them.

"Invisibility has always been his dream," Mickey said.

"And with that device, he'd have one that's perfectly good, not the handcrafted one that gives him his black cloak in the night."

the bug hadn't been removed, so as not to put the Phantom blot on the forewarning so that we could catch him red-handed at the appropriate time. Which, unfortunately, wouldn't be for a few months at the earliest. And to hasten the time was not even talked about it: even if it had been possible, an interview would hardly have been a sufficient reason to speed up the work.

I was already resigned to having to give up the interview when I had a dazzling idea. What if he just pretended to finish the job? A nice, exclusive benefit performance by Blot and his bugs and...

"And he'll bite for sure, because he doesn't know that we know that he knows!" exclaimed Mickey.

"Besides, if he has to act sooner than expected, he won't have the time to get his plans right, and it'll be easier to neutralize him. And there is another advantage: even if he gets away with it, he will have nothing to steal. But he won't get away with it..."

Mickey was a good man (not that it took long: all the precedents were in his favor) and so here I am, in Mousetown prison, visiting the blackest black character in the Disney world.

Who receives me in his usual cell. I'd like to describe him, but how do you tell something you can't see? The room, in fact, is in total darkness...

Interviewing an invisible subject is not the best, but taking notes in the dark is impossible...can't you turn on a light?

PB: Yes, but then you'll miss the right dark atmosphere.

Patience, I'll work on my imagination.

PB: I hope you've had enough. Anyway, I'm keeping the cloak and hood. Without them, I wouldn't be me anymore. Even the warden lets me wear them when I'm in jail. He has respect for my personality...

Me too, I assure you. You've always been my favorite negative character. The best villain. And don't get me wrong, when I say "bad"...

PB: There's no need to add anything else. I get it. On the other hand, how could you define me differently? Well, maybe instead of "bad," you could use the term "evil." I think it suits me better and is more exclusive. I'm the only one who's evil, and the comic book pages are full of villains.

And no one remotely has my class. Not to mention style, intelligence and personality.

Modesty, on the other hand, is quite common among you criminals...

PB: If you think you're funny, you're very wrong. I'm not immodest, I'm just telling it like it is. I'm not the kind of guy who's special, I'm not the kind of guy you're looking for.

That's what Floyd Gottfredson thought, too... 

PB: He's designed me. You ever wonder why I made myself look so much like Walt Disney?

As a joke, if I'm not mistaken.

PB: Pff! That's the official version. The truth is, he wanted to pay tribute to a great man by making him play a great character. And who could you find better than me? Walt and I have a lot in common.

Certainly not a criminal record.

PB: Obviously not. But we're both geniuses.

With very different results, though. His career has been a little bit better than yours. Speaking of which, can you explain the long hole between your first compo, in 1939, and your return to action, in 1955? Sixteen years is a long time: what have you been doing in all that time?

PB: If you had that imagination you boasted about earlier, you wouldn't ask me such a question. It's obvious I've been in prison. Serving my long sentence and figuring out how to get revenge on the man who put me away. You should have known better. And if you're really a fan of mine, you should know that I almost succeeded. I had a diabolical plan, a revenge so subtle that only I could have imagined it. Nothing crude, no direct violence. Mickey sabotaged himself with his own hands! I hope you publish the story of my return to the scene, so that readers will also appreciate my genius.

It's the first of this volume, a real classic. You really missed nothing because you're getting rid of your enemy. In this regard, can you explain me why, even though you had several times - and since your first encounter - the possibility to eliminate Mickey directly, you never did it?

PB: Because I'm too sensitive. I hate violence and I could never get my hands dirty. I wish I could. It would be so easy to just get the rat out of the way! But instead I'm forced to make deadly contraptions or studying very complicated subjects. Imagine that once, in order to get rid of my hated enemy, I managed to erase it from the mind of every inhabitant of Mousetown. Of course, as you can gather from my presence here, it didn't help. Do you know what that crude Pete once said to me, who I often share a cell with? That without my good heart, I'd be the emperor of crime! I hate to do this, but I have to agree with him.

Yeah, if it hadn't been Mickey in his way... He's blacked you out plenty of times!

PB: Yeah ! That's some low-rent humor. Why don't you also say that it's...stained my career? I don't mind anyway, because I'm tenacious, me. I'll never give up. I know what I'm worth, and I know the day will come when I can get rid of Mickey once and for all. That is, if luck doesn't keep on helping him, of course. That nosy little chap's always got a dose to envy even Gladstone.

You're not saying that to console yourself? The way you're putting it, it sounds like Mickey doesn't deserve any credit for putting you in jail. I'll grant you that sometimes he got away with it because your sensitivity prevented you from giving him the coup de grâce, but to say that he beats you regularly just because he's lucky, seems too much.

PB: Is that what you think? Then let us examine this latest supposed success of the brilliant detective, the genius of investigators, the terror of criminals. Tsk! I was preparing a perfect score, according to a schedule studied in detail... and what happens? That those scientists realize much earlier than expected the invention that I was so interested in, thus forcing me into a hasty action that led to my arrest. Mickey was there waiting for me, but if I'd had time to make a proper plan, I'd have done it under his nose, always snooping around. Grrr! And you're telling me he's not lucky?

Well, yeah, maybe a little. I'll grant you that it's not his fault, but the case, if the microplashes you had installed at the Research Center were discovered. But he was the one who figured out you planted them and had the idea to leave them where they were so you wouldn't get suspicious. And the fact that the invention was ready before its time is not a stroke of luck, but simply... false news.

PB: What?! You made that up. I don't believe it!

And it hurts, because I know what I'm talking about. I'm the one who gave him the idea. I went to consult him to find a way to interview you... Hey! Why did you get up? You don't want to...

PB: ...hurt you? No! I hate violence, you know that. I just want to hug you to show my appreciation! You are living proof that Mickey beats me just because he is lucky. But do you realize? I ended up in jail because of an interview!

That we can continue...

PB: Ah no! Even if I'm not angry with you, I don't talk to my worst enemy's allies. It's a matter of principle... that brings us to the end. So I'd be grateful if you'd leave. And on your way out, turn off the light!

[mcheang]

Break up - Adrien’s POV for the English dub

As promised here is the new Adrien pov for the break up in the English Dub. You can find the French version on my blog. Hope you enjoy :) remember, I’m posting a non-Chat Blanc fic later

Adrien was sitting at the piano, practising a song for his princess. (For once Plagg was being helpful and offering advice on what keys to play)

He sighed dreamily, staring at the photo of Marinette he had placed next to his mother’s. It had only been a few months, but he felt as if he had been living in heaven all that time.

Now that he and Marinette were dating, everything seemed brighter. She had relaxed enough around him so conversation flowed more easily. Lila and Chloe were hardly threats. Alya and Nino regularly joined them for double dates. Even Plagg had stopped fretting ever since Adrien swiped some cheese treats from the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

At first, it had been a challenge to not address Marinette with the nicknames he gave Ladybug. So he gave her a new one. Princess.

When she first heard it, Marinette giggled and tapped him on the nose. “I guess that makes you my prince.”

Prince and princess by day, lady and knight by dusk.

Adrien can’t remember the last time he was so happy.

A knock on the door. Plagg quickly hid in Adrien’s shirt.

The door opened. It was the Gorilla and he gestured for Adrien to follow him out.

Adrien frowned and stood up. Did his Father want to see him?

His dad had never really disapproved of his relationship with Marinette. Well, not directly. Gabriel barely paid Marinette any attention. It was Adrien’s own fans who were obsessive about their relationship. Marinette had been a target of a few akumas who were jealous that they were dating. It was nothing that Ladybug couldn’t solve but finding a place to transform was hard when she was being chased by a jealous akuma. Good thing Chat Noir provided enough distraction for her to skip away.

Gabriel only showed approval of Marinette when Adrien swiped her sketchbook to ask his Father to give a commentary review on it. Marinette had been ecstatic with the surprise and Gabriel admitted that he had never seen such raw potential in anyone else before. “Audrey had not been wrong when she called Miss Marinette a visionary.”

And Gabriel only showed disapproval once he realized Adrien’s fanbase had been affected by his new relationship status. It showed once Nadja made it clear the rumors Adrien had a girlfriend were true.

Adrien had been worried his Father would forbid their relationship because of that. As a result, he never let his relationship interfere with his work schedule, and he complained less when dates had to be cancelled because of a sudden new appointment. He was the perfect model son, literally.

The entrance hall was empty. Adrien looked around, confused. If he wasn’t summoned here to meet with his Father, then why did Gorilla ask him to come out?

The answer came when Gorilla opened the main door.

Standing outside the gates in the rain, Marinette’s face was hidden under the black umbrella he gave her so long ago.

Adrien was still confused. Why was Marinette outside? She had come over enough times that Natalie or the Gorilla would just buzz her in so she could join Adrien in his room, where they would either study together, play video games, or just make out. Adrien really wished they could do the third option more often, but it was hard to with Nathalie regularly coming in to inform them that it was time for Marinette to leave.

“Marinette?” He called, “Why won’t you come in? What’s wrong?”

“Adrien...I...” Adrien’s concern spiked. Marinette sounded so scared. What happened to her? “Forgive me! We’re just...we’re just not right for each other.”

“What are you talking about?” Adrien didn’t understand. “Of course we are. We love each other.”

“No!” Marinette’s voice cracked. “I...don’t love you...anymore!” And then she ran away, headed towards the nearby underground station.

Horror and dread filled Adrien’s entire being as the reality of what had just happened dawned on him.

“No,” gasped Adrien, so softly it was almost inaudible. He stared after the love of his life, leaving him behind. “Marinette.”

Don’t leave me. We love each other. I know we do. What had gone wrong? Everything had been perfect so far. Yesterday she had been happy beside him, and kissed him goodbye. Goodbye... Adrien nearly choked.

He turned to face his bodyguard, desperate. “Please let me through! It can’t end like this! It can’t end at all! I love her!”

This can’t be happening. Marinette had not stopped loving him. The crack in her voice proved that. Or maybe she was being bullied. Was it Lila again? Chloe? One of his fans? Whatever the cause, all that mattered now was catching up to Marinette, to heal their relationship.

Adrien’s eyes welled up, tears overspilling at the thought of Marinette being out of his reach, their happy love stolen.

“I beg you, please!” Adrien appealed to his bodyguard. For once luck was on his side; Gorilla lowered his arm.

Adrien rushed down the stairs, determined to reach Marinette and get her to tell him what was wrong. They had spent so much time in painful longing because of their secret identities. Now they were together and happy and in love. And Adrien would destroy the world before he let their love be taken away. Nothing would stop him from being with the girl he loved.

[elopez7228]

Scenic Route 25/47

Read on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18268208/chapters/43229774 

Start over : https://elopez7228.tumblr.com/post/620919089893933056/scenic-route-0147

***

Maz and Rey stayed at the Motel-6 on Weat Drive in Helena, which provided twin rooms—with matching twin beds. It was a well-kept yet charmless establishment, built in the image of the city itself. Helena’s wide avenues and stocky skyline formed a neat grid around major routes running north-south and east-west.

The surrounding countryside was verdant, but Rey found the architecture quite different, typical of cities that experienced long winters: raised sidewalks, thick walls and closed windows. But the spirit of the Far West was palpable in Montana, from the wood-plank porches and cowboy hats to the cattle breeders and the constant presence of horses. But there was a certain culture clash as one moved north, to the heartland comprised of oil wells, massive trucks, leather and furs.

The atmosphere was gloomy; this morning’s enthusiasm that had accompanied their gargantuan brunch and a swim in the river, had diminished considerably. Running into Syed had cast a dark shadow over Rey’s mood, her feelings no less tumultuous than before. Was she mad at Ben Solo? Did she want keep flirting with him this morning? They did have an undeniable attraction. Truthfully, she hadn’t stopped thinking about him, not for a moment, since she their paths crossed on her first day in America. How annoying. She would gladly have spent an hour without thinking of him, honestly. She would have wanted to think of herself, or Finn or Poe, to blame Leia Skywalker for her troubles or to conquer the world with Maz. But alas, here she was, fretting over Ben Solo.

Wasn’t she furious at him? The indecision was killing her inside. She would go to the concert the next day, but it would require an explanation, a face to face. She would have to look him in the eyes and give him an ultimatum that would determine their relationship: to end it here and now, or to give him a chance to make amends.

Maz accompanied her to the Museum of the Rockies, where they admired dinosaur fossils and mannequins dressed in pilgrim garb. They passed a large fresco of fur trappers depicting the conquest of the New World. Maz tried to relax the atmosphere by explaining the history behind various exhibits, but Rey was miles away. Her mind was elsewhere.

The evening is unrolled without their joyful laughter, without luster. The weight of Maz’s upcoming departure and Rey’s relationship woes weighed heavily on their shoulders.

Maz had a certain rendezvous to attend in the Holliday Inn parking at 8 AM, off l-90 West. After a quick breakfast at Starbucks, Rey and Maz said farewell. Rey’s eyes shone a bit much at the thought that she was being abandoned yet again.

Or was it just her again, getting attached too quickly? It was obvious from the moment the strange little woman banged against her car window that their time together was limited. This separation was inevitable—Maz headed due north and Rey due west. And she had to go home eventually, on the other side of the Atlantic, in a week.

They exchanged numbers and emails, but Maz evaded social media, and Rey limited herself to Instagram and Facebook. Maz hugged Rey thoroughly, thanking her for everything.

“Have a good trip, my adventurous girl. Remember: listen to your heart, dare to say no, and take your time. You know what it is that you want and what you’re willing to accept—you know your limits. Now, go practice what you preach!”

Rey was hardly as calm as the older woman. Coming from Maz’s mouth, everything seemed so simple. In her head, it was all so complicated. But she promised to remember this, and to do her best.

When they parted, Maz boarded a large van with three other hitchhikers as she went on her merry way.

It was still morning and Rey and BB8 had an entire day to fill. In light of the shift in schedule, she had time to call England.

The conversation with Poe was calm, almost banal. Finn was still on life support, Poe himself visited the hospital daily. His swollen eye had deflated a little, his facial wounds had healed somewhat and would leave  almost no scars. Yes, he would call Rey if there was a development, any time of day or night, be the news good, bad, or ugly. She hung up and dialed Jessika afterwards.

“Where were you girl?” Jessika said by way of hello, and Rey smiled, touched by her friend’s playful jab.

“On the road. I drove a couple thousand kilometers. How’s the house?”

“Well, I finished putting together your flat. You promised to call me regularly, don’t you remember?”

“I was going to,” Rey tried to assure her.

She wasn’t sure how often she could handle calling Jessika. She had needed time for introspection, to think through her troubles alone. Talking to Jessica, even though it was fun, inevitably reminded her of her old self. The girl who was going to marry Finn and who let others live her life in her stead.

“Liar,” declared Jessica, and Rey laughed at the fact that her friend knew her well.

“No it's true. I'll call you when I get better, otherwise it's going to be quite a while,” she amended.

“What do you mean , "when I get better?" What’s wrong? Are you in trouble?”

Jess sounded sincerely worried. Rey took a deep breath...where did she leave off in her grand adventure?

“Do you remember Ben Solo?”

“The guy who did n't sleep with you ? OH. MY. GOD. Did you sleep with him ?!”

Rey’s lips split into a wicked grin. She was thoroughly enjoying her friend’s reaction. It was like an intravenous dose of endorphins. Why had she thought that that it would complicate her life?

“No,” she answered finally. “No we didn't sleep together. I mean we almost did. But not quite.”

“What do you mean? Was it just oral but no penetration?”

Straight to the point, Rey chuckled.

"Oh come on, we just kissed a little bit. Okay, kissed a lot. We did nothing, really. We stopped when...you know, they called about Finn...”

It was as though she had just thrown a bucket of cold water on the conversation. Jessika took a moment to answer.

“Yes, I know. It’s excruciating. I was furious! I was furious at him and now I’m furious at everyone except him. How are you holding up?”

“Same as you. My anger is gone. I reassure myself by thinking that Poe stays close to him these days.”

“He does a great job, you know. He comes by an hour a day to sit at his bedside, he talks to him, he reads to him and recounts the adventures you have on your trip, Rey...”

Rey was silent. She knew where Jess was going with this.

“Rey, they’re really in love. I’m sorry to have you say it so bluntly when I’d promised to kick them out of our lives and curse their names forever. You have to look at the bigger picture. Poe is now a shadow of his former self after what happened to Finn.”

“I know.”

“You know? Aren't you angry?”

Rey smiled mournfully. As incredible as it sounded, she was not angry. She was unhappy and worried, a little bit resentful—but in a normal way—very lonely, and a little lost, but she was no longer angry.

“No...I’m just sorry I couldn’t be there to support my best friend, this potato of a man that chose his best friend over me, but I don’t want him anymore. We wouldn't have been happy, as it was. He did what he had to do.”

Jessika was silent for a long time before she finally found her voice.

“Who are you madam, and what have you done with Rey?”

“No, I’m serious,” insisted Rey, amid a fit of giggles, “it's really me! I’ve been through all sorts of ridiculousness, I almost got eaten by a bear, and I have a spy from the KGB on my arse...I ended up cancelling my own wedding because my groom was gay from day one. It’s like my life can never be boring!”

"Sounds like you have much too many things to tell me,” Jessika retorted, “Start from the beginning.”

They stayed on the phone for almost an hour. Rey thought for a moment about  the price that such a lengthy call would cost, but hell, she wasn’t in the mood to care. She had needed to say it out loud, to put actual words to her thoughts and her feelings and to right the chaos in her brain.

When she hung up, she felt reinvigorated. Maz’s departure stung less, the loneliness appeared less unbearable. On the downside, she hadn’t yet faced her demons regarding her relationship with one Ben Solo...

Jessika said she had to bed him now (of course). But Rey was no longer taking orders. She had to listen to her heart.

The problem was that she didn't understand what her heart was telling her.

She chose to spend the morning at Arby’s (a stereotypical western fast food restaurant with a massive cowboy hat logo) which specialized in gigantic hamburgers topped with slices of...candied bacon? The local gastronomy never ceased to surprise her. In any case, it had free WiFi and a place to plug in her smartphone.

What was she going to do with her day?

She clicked on Kylo Ren's number.

Damn, she had thought "Kylo Ren", not "Ben Solo". Should she interpret this as some kind of sign?

* good morning Ren, I'm coming tonight. We need to talk. *

Of course, every man knew "we have to talk" was never a good omen. She wanted to hear about Syed (especially why it was necessary for her to follow Rey without consent) and about the nature of their relationship. To Rey’s knowledge, he was neither her father nor her husband. Then he had better have a good explanation. But this wouldn’t be a text message conversation. She wanted to look him in the eyes.

She waited in vain for a response that did had not arrive. Browsing Google Maps, she explored the area around Bozeman and compared the prices of hotels and the campsites. She barely managed not to spit out her coffee. Seven Hells! The proximity to Yellowstone, and thus the certainty of being full in July, had pushed the average rates around the park to a staggering 250 dollars per night for a single motel room. It was beyond  conceivable! She looked at the campsites, but like the hotels, they were fully booked.

Finally, by calling Canyon Campground, which was more than thirty kilometers from Bozeman, she managed to book a place for the night for just below fifty dollars. The price reflected the fact that they had no available power stations, but she didn’t mind—all she wanted was an area flat enough to pitch her tent without risking another round with the grizzlies.

Her smartphone vibrated.

* Good morning Rey. I wouldn’t come if I were you. This one is going to be mediocre. Maybe some other time? *

Rey felt herself fuming.

Was he trying to run away? Well, not if she had her way.

She typed a message, then erased it. And again, and yet again. Finally, she sent no response, put her phone away, finished her coffee and left the establishment.

She was going to play fetch with BB8, it would calm her down.

And this evening, she would see Kylo Ren, look him directly in the eyes. She would  wait for the end of the concert, and they were going to have a discussion. He wasn’t getting away with this!

Kylo had been in a bad mood all day, even as he helped with the installation process at the Bozeman concert venue.

Rey wanted to come this evening and he had to stop her. Syed was capable of everything under the sun, and the worst part was that he had no idea of what she was up to. She had returned his jacket and taken her orders from Hux and Snoke instead. But what orders? Something was brewing, he was sure. He was in absolutely no mood to give a damn concert, and had found himself strangely relieved when Snoke announced the cancellation of the tour. Fine. Off with the masks...he had to keep his head clear to be prepared for any scenario that high command had in mind. Snoke’s mind was twisted. It was wild, fatal, and unpredictable. He would do well to keep his weapon within reach...he had to make the first move, finding her, cornering her, and talking her out of getting involved. But where was she?

With the amount of tension and distrust in the air, it would have been better not to go through with the concert. And yet, it made for an easy cover. Naturally, Syed would not strike from the stage, it would be far too visible. That would leave her with the opening crowd and the stragglers.

Adding Rey to this equation was the worst part. She was going to find herself in the middle of a crossfire that wouldn’t leave anyone unscathed.

His heart beat faster at the mere idea of Rey taking such a risk. And what if Syed took advantage of Rey’s presence to reach him?

He would kill her for that if she tried, with his own two hands.

Around him, the Knights of Ren were quietly working on mounting the lights. He could hear their laughter in the distance in his mind, although they were only standing a few paces away. It would be a good idea to talk to them. But it would also be an admission of weakness; was a team of five people not enough to take on Syed Ren alone? No. He was going to face her fury himself.

The more the clock turned, the more the atmosphere seemed heavy. It was time to end this, once and for all.

[thecollegefootballguy]

Bowl Previews: December 31

Hi folks, sorry about missing posting yesterday. It totally slipped my mind. Big apologies to Virginia, I wanted to celebrate the Cavaliers’s first major bowl game in my life and I blew it. Back to our regularly scheduled programming. We’ve got several interesting matchups going on and a short break between the NY6 bowls.

-

Belk Bowl (Charlotte, NC): Virginia Tech 8-4 (5-3) vs Kentucky 7-5 (3-5)

Virginia Tech has had a rough couple of seasons. The Hokies won the ACC Coastal in Justin Fuente’s first year in Blacksburg, but ever since they’ve struggled to make bowl eligibility. 2019 started out rough as well, loss right out of the gate to Boston College. To their credit, VA Tech knuckled down and began winning. Virginia Tech took 5 of their next 6 before falling to Notre Dame. A win over ranked Wake Forest put the Hokies fully into the driver’s seat in the Coastal race, but an emotional loss to rival Virginia gave the Hoos the trip to the Orange Bowl and dropped VA Tech to the Belk.

Kentucky wasn’t able to replicate their monumental 10 win campaign from 2018, but the Wildcats can always celebrate another winning year. It was a similar story to the previous couple of seasons. UK can beat team they’re better than, but struggle to put away the SEC schools with a talent advantage. Losses to Florida and Georgia were no surprise. A loss to Tennessee probably stung a bit more. However, Kentucky was able to jump all over rival Louisville 45-13 to end the year with a guaranteed winning record.

-

Sun Bowl (El Paso, TX): Florida State 6-6 (4-4) vs Arizona State 7-5 (4-5)

Florida State made a bowl at least despite firing coach Willie Taggart with three games left. I don’t really agree with that move but here we are. The Seminoles made slight progress in 2019. They were still an inconsistent mess with a bad offensive line, but that’s still slight progress. FSU was a non-factor in the Atlantic race as Clemson was laughably running away with the title, but the rest of the ACC was regressing, which allowed the Noles to return to the postseason. The losses to Miami and Florida sting, but wins over Louisville, NC State, Syracuse, and BC definitely show that Florida State is reasserting themselves in the conference.

Arizona State had a pretty successful 2019, though the way the Sun Devils came to 7-5 probably left the team more than a little disappointed. ASU began the year 3-0 in non-conference play with an excruciating 10-7 win over ranked Michigan State. A rather inexplicable home loss to Colorado preceded another ranked win over Cal. By mid-October, the Sun Devils were 5-1 and in a commanding position in the PAC-12 South. They then lost four straight and fell right out of the division race. Then! ASU upset Oregon, throwing the Ducks out of the Playoff race for good. It was a weird season in Tempe.

-

Liberty Bowl (Memphis, TN): #23 Navy 10-2 (7-1) vs Kansas State 8-4 (5-4)

Navy had quite the resurgence in 2019. The Midshipmen had completely cratered the year before, going a paltry 3-10. This year, Navy could hardly be contained. A loss to Memphis early in the year unfortunately sealed their fate in conference play despite finishing tied for first in the division. Notre Dame was the only that was able to fully stonewall Navy, handing the Middies a 52-20 pounding. Navy was able to recapture the Commander-in-Chief’s trophy for the first time since 2015 with easy wins over Air Force and Army. They’ll have an interesting test against another program on the rebound.

Things are going pretty well for Kansas State. The Wildcats’s first year with head Chris Kleimann has gone better than expected, and I’m pretty excited to see what they can achieve in the future. K-State went undefeated in non-conference play, which included what at the time looked like a healthy upset over Mississippi State. Opening Big 12 play with losses against OK State and Baylor were rough, but Kansas State then turned around and upset Playoff favorite Oklahoma, nearly knocking the Sooners out of the race permanently. KSU wasn’t able to climb back to the top of standings, splitting their final four games.

-

Arizona Bowl (Tucson, AZ): Wyoming 7-5 (4-4) vs Georgia State 7-5 (4-4)

Wyoming wasn’t quite able to compete for the Mountain Division, but the Cowboys remained a solid force in the conference. Wyoming was unable to beat out the best teams in the conference (Boise, SDSU, Utah State, and Air Force), but they were able to run roughshod over the rest. 7-5 isn’t considered a sexy record, but the Cowboys wear it well. Another winning season on the desolate edge of the FBS is something to be celebrated. Craig Bohl has done a wonderful job in bringing some consistent success to Laramie.

Props to Georgia State. The Panthers began the season with the most exciting G5 upset in all of 2019, when they went to Knoxville and beat Tennessee 38-30. Early losses to Western Michigan and a bad Texas State squad dampened the momentum from the upset at Neyland. Georgia State rebounded by ripping off 4 straight wins to get them to bowl eligibility. That the Panthers lost 3 of their last 4 is unfortunate, but the postseason is the postseason and a great reward for a program trying to grow.

-

Alama Bowl (San Antonio, TX): #11 Utah 11-2 (8-1) vs Texas 7-5 (5-4)

The Alamo Bowl pits a major Playoff participant until the last week of the season and the PAC-12′s second best team again a spluttering Texas. Utah had their best season since joining the PAC-12 in 2019. The Utes were expected to compete and they did more than that. Utah beat up archrival BYU to auspiciously inaugurate the season. An early loss to USC dampened the year, but the Utes responded by winning the last 8 games of the regular season. A lockdown defense held five conference opponents to single digits. As the season wore on, Utah kept climbing up back up the Playoff rankings. By the time the PAC-12 Championship rolled around, it appeared that if Utah beat North champion Oregon, they would be the next in the for the College Football Playoff. It didn’t happen, obviously. The Ducks beat up the Utes 37-15 to seal up their own Rose Bowl bid.

Texas began 2019 with very high hopes. The Longhorns looked pretty good for about half a year. They came up just two touchdowns short against Playoff teams LSU and Oklahoma. But the bottom seemed to fall out in the second half. UT loss three out of four to Baylor, ISU, and TCU to totally tumble out of the Big 12 race. Questions swirl around Tom Herman, who suddenly looks like he’s not on track anymore in Austin.

[rj-anderson]

7 Steps to Writing Better with (and Without) Social Media

Here’s a curious thing.

At the start of this January, I decided that if I really wanted to get serious about writing my latest novel and actually have a chance at getting at least 500 if not 1000 words down on a daily basis, I was going to have to radically change my approach to social media. So I deleted the Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook apps from my phone, and then I set up a Freedom session on my laptop that would block Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Reddit and Slack -- every site I was visiting on a regular basis at the time -- from 8 am to 4 pm every day.

I thought it would be difficult, I really did. I thought I’d find it hard to keep up with my dash, or stay in touch with friends, if I could only browse social media in the evenings. After all, I’d been spending hours every day keeping up with the people and communities I was following, and that was even after I’d pruned my lists to the minimum. So surely I’d find myself falling behind very quickly, and it would be tough to keep up my resolve...?

Well, as it turns out, nope.

Maybe it helped that I started the new schedule when I was on a writing retreat, so the atmosphere was more favourable to such a radical change than it might have been at home. But even so, not only have I not felt any sense of deprivation from being locked out of social media all day, I’ve also found myself easily caught up by 7:30 or 8 pm, and then spending the rest of the evening looking about vaguely for something else to do. I’ve re-read my own books (and read new ones by other people), marked up a 30K novella for revision, watched several episodes of BLUE PLANET II with my sons, and a couple of times this week I’ve gone to bed early because I felt like it and there was nothing I needed to stay up for.

So now I can only wonder -- before I quit using social media during work hours, what on earth was I doing with all that time? Why did I feel so pressured and harried to keep up with sites that really didn’t demand more than a few minutes of my attention in the first place?  After all, even if I take my leisurely time about it, I can scroll through my entire Tumblr dash to the place I left off yesterday in twenty minutes or so. And the other sites take even less time than that. 

The only explanation I can think of is that in the past, I was checking Tumblr every hour or so and looking at one or two posts at a time, and then going to Twitter and reading four or five tweets, and jumping over to Facebook for six or seven posts, and so on and so on, round and round throughout the day. Which made me feel like I was working hard on staying on top of everything, but was actually a completely unnecessary and time-wasting thing to do.

* * *

Anyway, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by your social media but don’t want to give it up entirely, and are wondering how you can possibly get any writing done, I would recommend giving the following approach a try:

1. Prune your social media lists down to include only the people and communities that you really care about and want to stay updated on. Unfollow Tumblrs you’ve never or hardly ever interacted with, and use the Mute button on Twitter with wild abandon.

2. Decide which hours (or even just minutes) of the day you want to dedicate exclusively to writing. Keep your block of writing time as consistent as possible, with a start time you can easily commit to and an end time that allows you at least half an hour to relax and do other things before bedtime. 

*** NOTE: I recommend not checking social media before you write, as it has a scattering effect on your concentration and imagination; save it as a treat for afterward, when you don’t need to focus anymore.

3. Delete all the social media apps from your phone. Otherwise you’re going to end up checking them every time you go to the washroom or make coffee, and that will eat up your precious writing time.

4. Get Freedom, or Anti-Social, or some similar program that allows you to block specific sites at certain times of the day, and set up a regular session to automatically lock you out of social media (and/or any other sites you find tempting and distracting) during your writing time.

5. Sit down and write. You literally can’t do anything else now, so you might as well commit. If you get stuck staring at a blank screen, try doing one of Tim Clare’s Weekly Writing Workouts, or scribble some notes in longhand about what you want to write and how you feel about it. Nothing you do during your writing time that’s even remotely writing-related is a waste.

6. Make a note on your calendar that you wrote today. It may be as simple as a little “W” in one corner because you got ten minutes in and wrote 100 words, or you might give yourself a shiny sticker for writing 500 or 1000 -- or 250 or 2000, for that matter. 

*** NOTE: Try to set a worthy yet attainable word goal, something that pushes you a little bit but which you can also feel confident about meeting on a regular basis. If you’re writing regularly but still not meeting that goal most of the time, you’re setting your sights too high and discouraging yourself for no good reason. So quit that and pick a target that’s more attainable.

7. You did it! You’re a working writer! Now relax and enjoy your social media!

[saveloadreset]

The ask that turned into an essay: People seem to come to some funny conclusions about Chara based of some selective quotes

SLR INSERTION

Rather than putting it at the end, I’m going to be inserting my commentary all over this submission like this, in little ‘pockets.’ Now … 

Trigger warning: suicide mention, self-harm mention

… on to our regularly scheduled submission

The ribbon description is not a hint at previous violence in Chara’s life. “If you’re cuter, monsters won’t hit you as hard.” = “Chara was subject to beatings before running away, long enough to be familiar with the experience” Is the ribbon description not plain and simple advice on how battles with monsters work? We later find out in the librarby that monsters really do hit less hard if they don’t want to fight. Putting the ribbon on and becoming cuter works against even Undyne the Undying,* so it seems that this really is a nature that monsters can’t help.** Narra-Chara uses descriptions to hint at their tragic backstory elsewhere, so the ribbon could be part of that pattern, but there are also examples of Narra-Chara giving us plain and simple advice.** So I see the ribbon description as honest advice, not a hint at abuse or whatever

*  (at least, I’m fairly sure it does) **  (and isn’t sans clever for finding a way around it?) *** Some of the advice is snarky or condescending, but not all of it is.

SLR INSERTION

That’s a valid reading. I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong. But it’s really not any stronger than the readings of people who read it as a sign of abuse. And there’s a piece of info that I think you might find interesting … Did you know, this narration changed?

Here’s what it said in the demo.

Tells you most of what you need to know, really. But Toby looked at this, and decided … Nah, this has gotta change. And I would argue that what he changed it too was much less objective, and much more ominous.

Do with that knowledge what you will.

Chara didn’t necessarily develop their deep hatred for the humans whilst in the village; that could’ve grow in the underground, or at least been a lot more complex than simple revenge for a violent childhood. “Frisk, I’ll be honest with you. Chara hated humanity. Why they did, they never talked about it. But they felt very strongly about that.” = “Chara was treated badly by the humans and hated them for it” Is it not possible that Chara’s hatred developed AFTER falling into the underground? If tween-age me had ran away from home, found what Chara found, and learnt the history and plaight of the monsters, then I can imagine me falling disillusioned with humanity (and maybe even growing a martyr complex). “I hate humanity” sounds like a very angsty and tweenish thing to say. It could be so easy for a child to grow a very negative view of humanity, if first they lost a little innocence (maybe they learnt about war, or maybe they read a sad book (like Kitchen)), found a tragic race like the monsters, then learnt their story and their view of humans, at a time when they were still making sense of the world. Especially with the librarby comment about humans not needing compassion, monsters could very easily teach a child the wrong things about their kind. Maybe things would’ve been different if there was another human in the underground, who could be a good example to Chara, and show that humans can still have compassion, even if they don’t strictly need it. What’s more, Asriel says “humanity”, not “humans” or “the people of the village”. That feels very significant to me, as though there were some quality that “humanity” comes with that had that had Chara’s attention, not a personal hatred for the people of the surface. We know humans in Undertale differ in at least a few important ways from monsters, from their persistent souls and their physical bodies, to their lack of needing compassion and …. whatever’s going on with determination and time rewinding (if Chara knew about this). Could one of these qualities, unique to humans, be what Chara dislikes about humanity? I sometimes wonder (inspired by Underline), whether Chara could reset, and something about this, or something that happened because of this, sparked Chara’s strong hatred? Though, personally, I believe Gaster’s experiment caused the reset ability, somehow.  If Chara’s/Chasriel’s soul survived death (both humans and boss monster’s souls persist at least briefly after death), perhaps Gaster took it and mucked about about with DT and gave himself the ability to play about with time and resetting. Perhaps playing about with that is what scattered him across time. Perhaps he used to soul to build the core (a machine that converts heat into magic?). Perhaps once he had used his ability, maybe something “broke”, and resets became possible for the most DT-filled creature behind the barrier, and only behind the barrier. All of this would have happened after Chara’s death, and Toriel’s comment about knowing previous children somehow makes me think she’s not including Chara when she says that.     Or maybe Underline hit the nail on the head? Maybe Chara’s hatred for humanity happened after some bad timeline that Chara had to reset from. After all, something about Chara, even just “the look in their eyes”, inspires the monsters to not be afraid of humans anymore, and gives them hope. Yet this does not rub off on Chara? Or maybe Chara has a change of heart? …. Though, hope for what? Peace with humans? That not all humans are evil? Or maybe just hope of breaking the barrier? Maybe Chara made a scheming promise to break the barrier and the buttercup plan was what they had in mind, but I somehow doubt that. Maybe the hope was just the feeling of having found a happy place to live. Either way, there’s so many different things to say and think here, that I can’t think it’s as simple as Chara having a personal vendetta against the village for violence they used to receive.

SLR INSERTION

Let’s talk about why people think this about Chara, because that’s worth analyzing in greater depth. The first significant point–it didn’t happen while Asriel was around. This isn’t explicitly said, but if it had, Asriel would know about it. 

Second, Chara is reluctant to actually talk about it. If they hated humanity as a result of schooling in monster schools and learning monster history … Why wouldn’t they tell Asriel at all? Even if they learned it in a reset, it’s hardly a surprise that they look at all these murals and go ‘golly gee, humans are horrible!’ That implies that there’s a specific incident that sparked this hatred in Chara. One big inciting incident. And one that they’re reluctant to share with Asriel, their best friend. 

SO, it had to happen both while Asriel wasn’t there, and it had to be something Chara would be reluctant to talk about. Abuse on the surface is one of the very few things that would qualify for that.

And like, I love underline and everyone should read it (Hi dusty!!!) but they take a couple liberties in order to tell their story. For instance, their Chara needs to meet humans and encounter them, seeing their reaction to monsters, before they go ‘to hell with these guys I hate humans.’ In canon, that cannot happen. The barrier is impenetrable. If Chara had a personal encounter with humans that soured their feelings on the matter it happened before they fell. No question.

That’s not to say that there might be other things that might spark a deeper loathing of humanity. If, for instance, someone in particular groomed Chara into hating humans more, and seeing them as the enemy, to the point that they weren’t really eager to tell anyone about it …  That could do it, too.

But at that point, we’re just dealing in wild speculation. People lean into ‘Chara hates humans because they had  bad encounter with humans’ because it’s the Occam’s razor solution. It’s pretty strong. Personally, I imagine it might have had more to do with Gaster’s meddling, but speaking objectively, from what we know now, it’s more likely the humans Chara knew were garbage to them.

Dying was not on the table until the buttercup plan “Travellers who climb the mountain are said to disappear.” + earlier context = “Chara deliberately climbed Mt Ebbot to commit suicide” We know falling into the hole in the cave in Mt Ebbot was an accident, not deliberate. I also feel that it’s much common for children to run away from an unhappy situation, rather than think of suicide. Committing suicide and commiting self-harm, as some seem to think is implied, sounds like the actions of a teenager, not a child. Also climbing a mountain, one that people don’t return from, doesn’t sound very suicide-y. My intuition and experience with children is they get quiet and they run away. Well, Chara ran away from home. In the family photo, Chara is hiding their face shyly. Chara revealed private and important things to only their best friend, who kept them secret. Chara strikes me as a reserved, but bright child, who had a bit of sadness inside them. Falling into the hole in the cave was an a ccident, after apparently exploring said cave out of curiosity. That sounds more like a child who has run away from home with hopes of finding a better place and never having to return, than one who intends to end their life.

SLR INSERTION

Okay, let me get this out of the way right now before it riles me up too much. You’re entitled to your headcannons and nothing says explicitly that Chara wanted to kill themselves, but if you think someone is too young to self-harm and want to kill themselves, you’re dangerously wrong. 

At risk of getting too personal, I was chewing on my arms so much they were more or less one big bruise by the time I was elven or twelve, and already chasing off thoughts of … You know. That’s a false assumption and a pretty dangerously wrong one. Whatever else you take away from this post, please at least revise your understanding of that. It’s important.

Secondly, we don’t really know how old Frisk/Chara are. If I had to guess, I’d throw it somewhere around thirteen years old, because that’s Ness’ age in earthbound. But ‘kid’ can mean a lot of things. Preteen? Prepubescent? Teenager? All kids. You can’t really narrow that down.

And like, we know that Chara’s fall was an accident, but … You don’t climb a mountain it’s said nobody returns from if you really think your life is precious. There’s more, but I’ll get into that next insertion.

The buttercup plan was not about a long standing wish to die buttercup plan + “I know why Chara climbed the mountain. It wasn’t for a happy reason.” + earlier context = “Chara was suicidal, even before falling into the underground” Surely, the buttercup plan was not about a desire to end their life, but about sacreficing themselves? I know self-sacrefice and suicide kind of functionally have the same end, but we all know the differing contexts makes all the difference. In suicide, your own death is the goal, in and of itself. In self-sacrefice, there is some end that your own death helps achieve (even if that end could be achieved through other means). I don’t think Chara was lying to Asriel about the buttercup plan being, at least partly, a plan to break the barrier. I can certainly imagine adult me, with all my fully functioning coping mechanisms, stable mental state and confidence in life, getting tempted (and tempted is the important word) to stand in front of a monster I trusted and offer my life to them, if I was in either Chara or Frisk’s shoes, stuck underground with these tragic people that deserves better. Not out of any self-hatred or suffering on my part, but out of sympathy for their plight. Who wouldn’t want to help these people if they could? I won’t ask who else would be tempted, but I think a child with less life experience and weaker coping mechanisms would quite possibly be more than tempted

SLR INSERTION

Why not both?

I think you may be ignoring some of the actual context of that conversation with Asriel. Like, let’s chart the followup to what he says. It begins with Asriel asking Frisk why THEY climbed the mountain. Was it curiousity? Was it fate? Or … ? And he trails off here. He had something to say, but then suddenly elected not to say it.

Let’s not kid ourselves, he was about to ask Frisk if they came to kill themselves, and then thought better of it.

And from that conversation he follows immediately into Chara’s mysterious, sad ‘reason’ to climb the mountain. Immediately after electing not to ask Frisk if they came here to die. It’s not proof. But. It’s kind of hard to shake that off.

I mean you’re right. CLEARLY Chara wanted to save monsters, and that’s why they came up with this plan. But this plan is stupid painful. Buttercup poisoning is awful. And a child who comes up with a plan to kill themselves like this never thought too highly of their life in the first place. 

I think you’re right about why they did it. But I don’t think you’re correct about cutting Chara’s self-loathing out of the equation completely. It might not be why came up with the plan. But I think it’s definitely a factor in whether they thought it was worth it.

For instance, when Asgore sometimes kills himself at the end of the neutral routes, he’s killing himself because he wants to give Frisk the chance to find a way to free his people. But if he really believed that was the biggest hope they had, he would have killed himself when he came to trust Chara and given his SOUL to them. What changed? 

He hates himself, he thinks he’s a horrible person, he doesn’t think he deserves to live. He wants to die, and that makes the decision to give up his SOUL easy. Sound familiar?

And it’s not like suicide isn’t rare here. It’s all over the place.  Undyne meets Alphys as she’s staring contemplatively into a dark pit and if Mettaton or Undyne die, in the ending, Alphys mysteriously disappears. Toriel tries to trap you in a situation where if you DO get past her, she won’t be lonely and afraid anymore because she’ll be dead. As Flowey, when Asriel gives into despair he destroys himself and, in his own words, ‘decided to follow in your (Chara’s) footsteps.’

I don’t think Chara took Asriel for granted. That just doesn’t make sense to me. *the lab tapes* = “Chara took advantage of Asriel, and was mean and manipulative to him” Chara and Asriel really were best friends. Every source of information about their relationship, besides the tapes, makes that clear to us. The “walk of feels” tells us so. Geno-Flowey tells they played together in New Home. They shared clothes and a room. Asriel had all the toys on his side of the room, while Chara had just a photo, pointed at the head of their bed. Gerson tells us the Dreemurrs’ behaviour embarrassed Asriel and Chara. Chara had secrets about themselves that they privately revealed to Asriel, and only Asriel, given that none of the other monsters know what Asriel tells us. The kinds of things Asriel reveals to us about Chara are things that sad children keep secret, revealing only to those they trust. And I think Chara does trust Asriel. After all, he proves himself trustworthy, keeping the secrets, only ever revealing them privately to Frisk after some very significant events. Asriel even has an air of privacy in the last conversation, like he’s revealing private things that aren’t meant to be shared (to the person he says he would replace Chara with, I might add, which is gut wrenching to hear because I think Asriel was the best thing to ever happen to Chara). Asriel also comments repeatedly about how Chara being the only one who ever understood him. I think there were things Asriel told Chara that, either he didn’t tell anyone else, or the he felt only Chara truly listened to. I’m not saying there were no secrets between them (after all, Chara doesn’t talk about why they hate humanity). And what’s more it seems Chara’s (implied) interest in flowers failed them and, despite their knowledge of them, fed them to their new dad and got him really sick. Maybe Chara’s botany didn’t fail them and it was deliberate, but maybe it was a joke, the consequences of which Chara didn’t process and laughed away. Maybe it was when Toriel got upset at the two children, that Chara was forced to realize what they’d done. Maybe that sparked the martyr complex. Chara sounds like a fan of poetic justice, so I can easily see the way they chose to die, and the idea of becoming a martyr in the first place, being related to the poisoning incident. I can imagine a stubborn kid like Chara, and Chara apparently takes after Toriel, who is very stubborn, you don’t listen to your crybaby brother’s fears when you came up with a plan like the buttercup plan. I’m not saying Chara was or wasn’t the greatest person, but at worst, I imagine Chara as like one of the kids from The Story of Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson. It’s a story about a girl who lives in a care-home (think orphanage). The kids in the book are sometimes horrible to each other, but despite the kids literally having nothing in common with each other except that they live in the same care-home, there is clearly a shared sense of family between them. You might say some of them are trouble makers, but you wouldn’t (if you had any sense of empathy) call them bad kids.

SLR INSERTION

I have nothing to say here. I think Chara loved Asriel deeply.

[gracieminabox]

March 23, 2016

March 23, 2017

Dear Gracie of one year ago today,

Let me tell you about what happened after you posted this.

First, you cried. A lot. Your eyes damn near swelled shut from all the crying.

You barfed. A lot. Yep, just like you did at the conference table when they canned you. Just like you did on the way back to your apartment at 11:30 that morning, when you had to stop and puke out your car door on the side of 205.

Mom called you “baby” for the second time in your entire life. The first was when you told her Daddy had died.

You decided to go through the union process of contesting your termination, which really did nothing except humiliate you to your core and enlighten you as to how very hated you were in that organization. You knew you were disliked, but oh, honey, you didn’t have a damn fool clue how much of a pariah you actually were there.

You slowly began to realize that your job was its own special kind of abusive relationship and that your own desperate attachment to it was its own special kind of Stockholm Syndrome. This threw your entire life completely off kilter and you spent many, many helpless and hopeless hours trying to figure out who the fuck you were without your job comprising your identity.

You exhausted your savings and maxed out your credit card trying to stay alive. Mom took over paying your bills. She sent you toilet paper and Benadryl and canned soup off Amazon.

You heard from ten clinicians inquiring about your welfare, some of whom you’d only worked with a handful of times. You heard from only two clinic assistants, only one of whom you’d worked with regularly. Just in case you weren’t already clear how much people you’d called colleagues and even friends actually despised you.

Your fandom friends buoyed you, trying their damndest to keep you sane. If it hadn’t been for Goose Helbig and her antics, you’d still be trying to relearn how to smile.

Your periods stopped. You accidentally lost fifteen pounds.

Twelve days after Union Meeting #2, you secured an interview at another clinic. The interview went beautifully. You went back the next day for a working interview. How you pulled all that charm and articulacy and friendliness out of your ass after two months of paralyzing depression and defeat, I’m still trying to figure out. You thought you’d nailed it.

Two days later, they rejected you. You learned quickly - and the hard way - that you’d essentially been blacklisted, not because you got fired but because you challenged your termination. You would not work again in abortion care in that area of the country. Period.

You swallowed seven ativan. You had enough realism left to doubt it’d do the trick, but it was all you had left in the bottle, because they fired you on a Wednesday and killed your health insurance that Friday and you couldn’t stop crying/screaming/barfing long enough in that 36-hour period to get to your shrink and get an emergency top-off.

You didn’t die. You didn’t know how to feel about that.

Instead, you passed out and vomited on the bathroom floor. When you came to, Tori was butting her head hard against your forehead, almost angrily, as if to tell you, don’t you dare pull this shit, Mom; I need you and I am your reason to stay alive, so get the fuck up.

She was right. You did.

You decided not to take your former employers to court, because you just needed that shit to end. They twisted the knife a couple more times before finally, blessedly fucking off.

You went to bed and stayed there for a month.

You found Star Trek again. You always do that, when the shit hits the fan. You did it when you moved to Virginia, you did it when you moved to Oregon, you did it when you were assaulted, you did it when Daddy died. You instinctively reach for something that comforts you. Maybe it’s because it’s hopeful; maybe because it’s about survival; maybe it’s just because it reminds you of Daddy - who knows? You wondered why the hell you’d ever let that part of you atrophy. You promised yourself that you never would again.

You came to realize you didn’t have jack shit left for you in Oregon, so you started applying for jobs elsewhere. You didn’t really care where. California. Wisconsin. Massachusetts. New Hampshire. Oklahoma. Colorado. Louisiana. Texas.

“We have chosen a candidate more suited to…”

“After careful consideration, we feel that you are not…”

“We thank you for your interest…”

Then you got an email from San Antonio. “We’d love to talk with you more...”

Something oddly unpleasant curdled in your gut. Because yes, it was a job, and yes, it was a job you knew you could do well...but it was also in Texas. And didn’t you just leave Texas? Hadn’t you desperately tried to get out of Texas, just three short (“short,” right) years before? Hadn’t you put people you loved through physical and economic hell trying to get your ass to Oregon? Never mind that now literally everything you went to Oregon for had ended in successive blazes of shittastic glory; would going back to Texas be, in some ways, a step backwards, a reversion to an earlier, less-fully-developed version of yourself?

You were scared shitless that this was a backslide of spectacular proportions.

You told Mom. Mom was ecstatic and could not understand your hesitation. You lacked the wherewithal to try to explain it to her.

You sat on the email for a day. You watched Star Trek. You pet Tori. You watched it get darker in your room without having the energy to turn on the light. You let yourself feel scared. You let yourself wonder if going back to Texas would be a mistake. You let yourself wonder if it would be a proportionally bigger or smaller mistake than staying where you were, motionless in stinking sheets, cobwebs on the ceiling, sublimely indifferent to whether or not you woke up the next morning.

You figured you had literally nothing left to lose, and the next morning, you rose up to the proffered challenge and scheduled an interview.

You had a job within a couple weeks.

You broke your lease, unloaded a hell of a lot of what you owned, pawned boxes off a couple of nurse practitioners you’d worked with, and spent four days in a truck with Tori on your lap to get back home.

As soon as you crossed the border and saw “Welcome to Idaho,” you heaved the greatest sigh of relief of your entire life. Like Jaylah when she saw Altamid swirling away from her in the window, you were free.

As soon as you saw “Welcome to Texas,” you looked around at the landscape and wondered why the hell you’d ever left.

You got a cute, safe, cheap apartment. It’s five minutes from work. You pay hardly anything in gas. Your rent, utilities, and car insurance all went down. Every month or two, you swing up to Austin to have brunch with your stepmom and laugh at how stupid your old apartment looks now. Tori is healthy and happy and thriving. You started writing again, and people seem to like what you’re putting out. You even finished that one story that had been monopolizing your mind for years - and it turned out better than you could’ve ever hoped. You’re even outlining your first novel-length story. You. A novel-length story.

You love your job. You’re extremely good at it, and people can see it. Your performance review kicked ass. You’re a better healthcare provider now than you were a year ago, by an overwhelming margin. You can pay your own bills. You get along with all your coworkers. People actually check their egos at the door here. People listen to you. You are not the odd girl out anymore.

You’re doing better.

Texas, that beautiful, problematic, amazing place that gave birth to you, came to you at your lowest point and issued you a challenge. It knew you were capable of more. It saw greatness in you.

That challenge scared you. You did it anyway.

You dared to do better. And in doing so, you saved yourself.

[chiarathekiwi]

Somebody once tagged me

I was tagged by @butwewereanempire  , whom I dont actually know but who seems a chill italian who knows her way around cool classical memes, so props for that lmao. Thanks for tagging me, finger guns right back @u!

   Nicknames: some people call me Chia,Chiari,  some Mari, my sister calls me Piru.. Then a bunch of variations of my name..  Just go with Chiara.

Star Sign: i’m a proud, if somewhat atypical, Capricorn! (my bday is coming up and i’m Full Of Dread)

Height: uh, 169-170 cm? it has been forever since ive measured myself

Time right now: 19:33 

Last thing i googled: twitter probably?

Fav music artist(s) : REGINA SPEKTOR OWNS ME. also florence+the machine. Sleeping at last are also cool! Recently I’ve taken more and more of a liking to musicals, too. I like most genres though, and generally dont care much about the artists themselves. Sorry, music nerds.

Last movie i watched: uhhhh man i watch movies so rarelyy. It must have been toy story 2 on tv last week

Last Tv show i watched: i dont...really watch tv shows...im thinking probably stanger things, this summer!

What im wearing right now: I’d make the 90s proud: im wearing a colorful jumper my mother bought in 1992, and a pair of jeans from 1999 gifted to me by my aunt because she didnt fit inside them anymore

When i created this blog:July 2013.... rip in pieces

The kind of stuff i post: dank memes, fandom stuff, and my drawings!

Do i have any other blogs: I... I do actually,  i amone of the  mods of  badlydrawngriffith give it a looksee folks its kwality. Submit your own gross pigeons.

Do I get asks regularly: Nope! Hardly ever get any, even for art memes or requests. I should be more consistent with my art, i guess! Please send me art asks i have free time and a tablet and a heart full of love

Why did I choose my url: I used to have a really close friend who nicknamed me Kiwi, and i liked the assonance with my name, so chiarathekiwi it was.

Hogwarts House: idk man idk i’d probably be a failed ravenclaw

Pokemon team: my phone died before i could advance to elvel 5 in pokemon go, but i was super gay for candela ever since the leaders were announced, so in my heart of hearts im a valor binch

Fav color: Red!!! i like bright, glossy red, like cherry red or fifties red just. give me the red, man.

Average hours of sleep: i need at least 8 hours  of sleep per night to function, but i usually sleep like four hours for three days in a  row and then twelve for five days in a row my sleep schedule is fucked man

Lucky number: 2, 3 and 5! I dont know if theyre lucky, i just like them

Favorite character: from what??? you cant just do this to me man i have so many childrennnn.. But listen you  know who is a precious, beloved baby? Mob from mob psycho 100. Protecc.

Number of Blankets: screw blankets i got a duvet, get on my level fuckers

Dream Job: trophy wife. Like, grade school participation prize trophy wife.

Following: 1,175. dang thats a lot of people, i just love cool artists so i follow all of them! and some of them have personal and art blogs, so i follow both, and the numbers pile up...

Number of posts: 5,661 Again, rip in piss

I tag my precious homegirl @trieizieme , Hailey @i-am-the-cactus , and my beloved broafs @ofpaintedflowers , @shitan, @theflowoftears Okay listen i’d tag the rest of  yall but i dont remember your urls, aslo this way xenia, sab and laicha will b able to tag u i’m being sensible here

tagging also @ohhumbleoddity and @dai-li-sergeant! youre both sweethearts

[malaiseofdyingrelationships-blog]

Hey w, does your being a badass wilderness person mean you still have substantial discounts to backpacks? M and I went on Sierra trading post and found the perf bag but I only get a 20% and I think his is 24. Think yours could be a little bit more? Thanks! Congrats on being done with science forever

Hey phoebe! I too am happy that I can return to my regularly scheduled programming of stories of sea otters and such. so my backcountry code is no longer valid, but I can order direct from the companies still. I can get 35-40% off both Osprey and Gregory, if that helps. What packs are you looking at? Oh OR is on there too– there’s this giant portal most gear companies use. And thanks for the accolade- I’m flattered. With packs you’ve actually kinda wandered into my pet obsession, even among other types of gear. i was just looking at some super hot semi custom stuff… Don’t tell me gear can’t be sexy

oh gear is uber sexy. Ok this pack has m AND a stamp of approval. I might have to ask you for discounts ordering hiking boots after I figure what I want this weekend. Don’t think buying a new coat is necessary? Idk, I’m not sure. Thoughts?

What’s the climate like where you’re headed?

Ok so I don’t know if I’ll be in the lowlands or up in the mountains but mostly rainy in the summer and snowy but dryish winter. However, it’s lowest pt is 5k ft above sea level

Wow I didn’t know they got snow

Lol why cuz it’s Africa? How dare you. Oh ok so snowy all year in some parts (probe int he highlands) and a bunch of snow in winter. I’m really hoping they’d assign me up in the mountains. That’d be ideal.

Hahaha I guess you’re right– it is pretty far south. This place gets cooler and cooler. The mountains are legit.

Yea seriously… but Africa is a black box for most of us anyway. Additionally, should I get a new coat? Idk

It depends– if you have a solid jacket you can wash it and reapply the water-resistant coating and that helps a ton. if you don’t have super solid hats and especially gloves i’d invest in good gloves first.

120 for a backpack still seems rather excessive…

How often will you be using it?

Well I’m not planning on bring a large suitcase so probably all the time. This is it. My life’s possessions for the next 2 years.

That’s scary. And I put everything in 2 duffels at the end of each term. But kinda freeing too.

Nah, I’m going buddhist for a while :) The things I’ve seen people do for material things.

Ugh.

Kinda cool and romantic tho, don’t you think? I hope this is what freedom feels like.

Still objects are cool. They’re my favorite historical things, because you can totally write a 20 page essay about a staircase handrail or a 1980s nylon backpack. It is romantic, and you’ll get to use more local materials too!

What can you say about the handrail? I’m looking forward to not being bombarded with media all the time and just having the time and space to meditate and read literature and philosophy and go hiking and petting goats :)

That it symbolizes 1930s ideas of nature and its transformations, as wells a land ethic and so much more. This is at Timberline :) Hope you get to see it one day! What is the 30s idea of nature? Is that where the idea of pristine wilderness comes in? But I remember you telling me that national parks became a thing as a way to combine labor and leisure.

I would say that became a thing like around 1930. Earlier parks like yellowstone (1916) were more pristine ideas of nature. 30s was totally multiuser. The handrail is actually a piece of scrap iron and an old cedar telephone pole. It’s carved and reshaped, similar to ideas of improving the land, and also serves to connect the building to the land around it.

Huh, not sure what I was expecting but definitely not that. It’s beautiful! I was imagining the flimsy iron handrails that adorn the sides of mountains in China

Hahaha yea, it’s a bit different.

Your sentences are practically lyrical. I sincerely appreciate you sharing all this with me!

It’s an old railroad rails smithed by Works Progress Administration circa 1937. Awww you know the way to my feels. Thanks :)

I love how poetic your writing is, even in something as technical as handrail design. I only wish physicists wrote as well as you.

I’m blushing.

Surely you must know. But I didn’t think about the historical progression of an object like an 80s backpack. How are modern backpacks different? Well, I guess we prioritize and carry different things now. When I think about pianos and piano technology, there really hasn’t been any changes from Steinway’s late 19th c design so I’m curious to see how many modifications gear can go through.

Yea, but most people find it florid or annoying– thanks for seeing the value in it :) (btw I don’t think anyone’s ever turned me on with just words, but…  :P) Hm. You’re totally right with the pianos. The 70s and 80s saw the advent of nylon-based pack fabrics, as well as the emergence of the post-WW@ American obsession with wilderness.

yea! That handrail reminds me of those elaborately carved wooden harpsichords or early iterations of the modern piano but piano tech really died down after the 19th c. Haha I thought Americans were always obsessed with wilderness.

People essentially used oil based plastics to explore what they thought of as nature. And gear became more than a means to an ends but a symbol of status of leisure too. Ooh, have you ever played a harpsichord? I did once and I got what Bac was after.

Hence the 120 I’m dropping on a backpack. Yea! We have one here too. you play? Damn. A man of many talents.

Nah, in the 1700s if you wanted to go camp in the wild you were batshit crazy. Like people thought the devil lived there. literally. (Christ in the wilderness, temptation, all that jazz.)

There’s a piano maker in Freeport who makes 17 and 18c style pianos. It was quite the experience. Huh, Did nature become worshipped during the Enlightenment? Thoreau and such

You’re being seduced by all the deadly deadly nature. I played from like 5-16, all piano. The harpsichord was a one night stand.

You’ll have to play for me. Why did you never mention this? I bet you’re really good.

Transcendentalist and pastoral ideas of nature, but not wilderness. Haha you’re actually helping me study…

to be honest, I roll my eyes at the transcendentalists. Studying for which class? I thought you dropped your resilience class and that humanities majors don’t have exams lol

Pfffft I just mess around for fun now and even that’s rare. i hardly play anymore, but I think if I started again I’d be ok.

That’s what people really good say.

Oh the resilience class was last term. I’m not *that* much of a train wreck this term I’m in perspectives, which has a final, and k’s borderlands and frontiers class has one.

Well, good luck. I’m sure you’ll do well. Seduce him away with your poetry.

Oh I will.

[mrlylerouse]

Is Procrastination Sabotaging Your Real Estate Business?

Procrastination. We readily admit doing it, but hardly any of us tries to break the habit. How many times have you said, “I’ll get to this later”? Well … today you’re going to get to it. And I’m going to show you how.

  If you need some motivation on why, check this out: Procrastinators typically make 26% less income than their productive counterparts.

  Does earning less make you feel good? Think about it. Procrastination is an emotional issue, not a time management issue. Buying a planner or downloading an app isn’t going to help. We procrastinate because we want to feel good. Who wants to do the dishes after you’ve enjoyed a delicious meal and your tv show is about to come on?

  You’d much prefer the “better, more fun” option, despite the negative consequences later. And this is why procrastination is such a LARGE issue. More and more — especially in real estate — we’re left to our own devices. We’re expected to work independently, to self-manage. We don’t have mommy’s voice in the back of our heads anymore, saying do this or do that.

  You have to manage yourself. But let’s be honest, we are our own worst cheaters. We want to feel good. We don’t want to feel like we’re working.

  So, let’s go over some strategies to overcoming procrastination.

    1Procrastination is NOT a Time Management Issue

Procrastination comprises over one quarter of most people’s working days. For employers, this averages to a cost of $10,000 per employee, per year. In real estate, an agent’s income is based on their own productivity — meaning procrastination is costing you $$$.

  Now, here’s the kicker. Procrastination is not a time management issue. It’s a task management issue. Remember trying to cram your college paper the night before it was due? It’s not that you managed your time wrong. You simple chose the wrong tasks to do leading up to this point.

  Essentially, you were doing a task — just not the one you should have been doing.

  The real problem is willpower. Like I mentioned before, we give in to feeling good. It’s like Luke Skywalker being tempted by the dark side of the Force. We experience a weakness in will.

  Solving procrastination starts with one question. Answer: “Why is it important for me to finish this?”

  By asking yourself this question, you begin looking to the future. Will this hurt me tomorrow? Will I enjoy doing the dishes tomorrow, when there’s more dishes? Probably not. Then it becomes easy for you to convince yourself: Just do the work now.

  One tool to help you choose the right task is the Eisenhower Matrix. As you know Dwight D. Eisenhower was Allied Powers Supreme Commander. He had to make tough decisions continuously about which of the many tasks he should focus on each day. This led him to the following solution:

    Now, what happens when you run out willpower? It’s like a muscle. Eventually it gets worn down, but it’s not completely gone. The trick is value affirmations. Reflect on why it’s important and what you’ll achieve by it. You can even say it out loud, like a lot of Sales Team do for each other. Example: “No, I will not eat this doughnut. I want to lose weight and look good for beach season.” It can give you a small boost in times of need.

  2Working Under Pressure is Nonsense

A lot of us believe we work better under pressure. It’s complete nonsense. Studies have regularly shown we make errors in work while under pressure. Some of us require a fire to be lit from underneath us to get work done. Really, it’s just an issue of procrastination.

  One method for overcoming this is the “Abstract vs Concrete” formula.

  When you think about things concretely, they belong to today. When you think about things abstractly, they belong to tomorrow. Your mind pushes the work until later because it seems large and fearful. You don’t quite understand what to do yet (or what to do first).

  Break the task down. Break into small steps, small goals. That way, you can define a concrete step to take today, versus trying to figure out how to solve the whole puzzle in one swoop. When your brain thinks about something concretely, it thinks it’s urgent and will get it done.

  Example:

Abstract: “Our conversion rate is bad. We need to follow-up with leads better.”

Concrete: “Our conversion rate is dropping. Let’s follow up with new leads within five minutes using an email and a text.”

  3How to Stop Procrastinating – A Few Steps to Learn

Here are three different tactics depending on the situation.

  #1. Tackling fear and “internal negative talk.” Sometimes we procrastinate because we want to avoid the “bad” feelings. We think, “If I avoid this task, I can get away from any negative feelings that I might receive.” Example: Creative artists who submit their work can get scared because they’re afraid people will think their work is terrible. So they avoid doing artwork. It’s called negative reinforcement. People who want to be perceived as perfect in society often suffer from this.

  “I can have fear. I need not be my fear.”

  #2. Overcoming task aversiveness. At times we avoid work because it’s boring, frustrating, or we resent it. You can break a task into 3 stages: INCEPTION > PLANNING > ACTION. If there’s a lack of meaning, you’ll often avoid the task in the inception and planning stages. If there’s a lack of structure, people usually fail to complete the job in the action stage. To solve these, make sure you provide meaning and structure to the work.

  #3. Today vs Tomorrow. All you have to do is think about it in the future tense. Will the problem only get worse if you delay it? Should I get this done now, so I don’t hurt anyone else later on? Keep your brain focused on the why, and you’ll see yourself reducing procrastination.

  4The Ultimate Ultimate Weapon – Achieving Identity

The “unknown” can be one of the biggest obstacles to eliminating procrastination. It’s hard to motivate yourself when you don’t know what you want — or who you want to be. This is why you need to achieve an identity. Who do you want to be? When you know who you are, there will be less procrastination because you’ll have a goal.

  If you don’t know why you’re in real estate, it’s going to be hard to complete your tasks. You’re not going to like it when your broker tells you to call all these leads, and so on. But if you know you’re in real estate for a flexible work schedule and for the potential to earn more money, you’ll understand why you need to call leads. You’ll connect the actions with the goals. That reduces procrastination.

The post Is Procrastination Sabotaging Your Real Estate Business? appeared first on BoomTown!.

from BoomTown! http://ift.tt/2HvCt4U

[mrdonaldclark86]

Is Procrastination Sabotaging Your Real Estate Business?

Procrastination. We readily admit doing it, but hardly any of us tries to break the habit. How many times have you said, “I’ll get to this later”? Well … today you’re going to get to it. And I’m going to show you how.

  If you need some motivation on why, check this out: Procrastinators typically make 26% less income than their productive counterparts.

  Does earning less make you feel good? Think about it. Procrastination is an emotional issue, not a time management issue. Buying a planner or downloading an app isn’t going to help. We procrastinate because we want to feel good. Who wants to do the dishes after you’ve enjoyed a delicious meal and your tv show is about to come on?

  You’d much prefer the “better, more fun” option, despite the negative consequences later. And this is why procrastination is such a LARGE issue. More and more — especially in real estate — we’re left to our own devices. We’re expected to work independently, to self-manage. We don’t have mommy’s voice in the back of our heads anymore, saying do this or do that.

  You have to manage yourself. But let’s be honest, we are our own worst cheaters. We want to feel good. We don’t want to feel like we’re working.

  So, let’s go over some strategies to overcoming procrastination.

    1Procrastination is NOT a Time Management Issue

Procrastination comprises over one quarter of most people’s working days. For employers, this averages to a cost of $10,000 per employee, per year. In real estate, an agent’s income is based on their own productivity — meaning procrastination is costing you $$$.

  Now, here’s the kicker. Procrastination is not a time management issue. It’s a task management issue. Remember trying to cram your college paper the night before it was due? It’s not that you managed your time wrong. You simple chose the wrong tasks to do leading up to this point.

  Essentially, you were doing a task — just not the one you should have been doing.

  The real problem is willpower. Like I mentioned before, we give in to feeling good. It’s like Luke Skywalker being tempted by the dark side of the Force. We experience a weakness in will.

  Solving procrastination starts with one question. Answer: “Why is it important for me to finish this?”

  By asking yourself this question, you begin looking to the future. Will this hurt me tomorrow? Will I enjoy doing the dishes tomorrow, when there’s more dishes? Probably not. Then it becomes easy for you to convince yourself: Just do the work now.

  One tool to help you choose the right task is the Eisenhower Matrix. As you know Dwight D. Eisenhower was Allied Powers Supreme Commander. He had to make tough decisions continuously about which of the many tasks he should focus on each day. This led him to the following solution:

    Now, what happens when you run out willpower? It’s like a muscle. Eventually it gets worn down, but it’s not completely gone. The trick is value affirmations. Reflect on why it’s important and what you’ll achieve by it. You can even say it out loud, like a lot of Sales Team do for each other. Example: “No, I will not eat this doughnut. I want to lose weight and look good for beach season.” It can give you a small boost in times of need.

  2Working Under Pressure is Nonsense

A lot of us believe we work better under pressure. It’s complete nonsense. Studies have regularly shown we make errors in work while under pressure. Some of us require a fire to be lit from underneath us to get work done. Really, it’s just an issue of procrastination.

  One method for overcoming this is the “Abstract vs Concrete” formula.

  When you think about things concretely, they belong to today. When you think about things abstractly, they belong to tomorrow. Your mind pushes the work until later because it seems large and fearful. You don’t quite understand what to do yet (or what to do first).

  Break the task down. Break into small steps, small goals. That way, you can define a concrete step to take today, versus trying to figure out how to solve the whole puzzle in one swoop. When your brain thinks about something concretely, it thinks it’s urgent and will get it done.

  Example:

Abstract: “Our conversion rate is bad. We need to follow-up with leads better.”

Concrete: “Our conversion rate is dropping. Let’s follow up with new leads within five minutes using an email and a text.”

  3How to Stop Procrastinating – A Few Steps to Learn

Here are three different tactics depending on the situation.

  #1. Tackling fear and “internal negative talk.” Sometimes we procrastinate because we want to avoid the “bad” feelings. We think, “If I avoid this task, I can get away from any negative feelings that I might receive.” Example: Creative artists who submit their work can get scared because they’re afraid people will think their work is terrible. So they avoid doing artwork. It’s called negative reinforcement. People who want to be perceived as perfect in society often suffer from this.

  “I can have fear. I need not be my fear.”

  #2. Overcoming task aversiveness. At times we avoid work because it’s boring, frustrating, or we resent it. You can break a task into 3 stages: INCEPTION > PLANNING > ACTION. If there’s a lack of meaning, you’ll often avoid the task in the inception and planning stages. If there’s a lack of structure, people usually fail to complete the job in the action stage. To solve these, make sure you provide meaning and structure to the work.

  #3. Today vs Tomorrow. All you have to do is think about it in the future tense. Will the problem only get worse if you delay it? Should I get this done now, so I don’t hurt anyone else later on? Keep your brain focused on the why, and you’ll see yourself reducing procrastination.

  4The Ultimate Ultimate Weapon – Achieving Identity

The “unknown” can be one of the biggest obstacles to eliminating procrastination. It’s hard to motivate yourself when you don’t know what you want — or who you want to be. This is why you need to achieve an identity. Who do you want to be? When you know who you are, there will be less procrastination because you’ll have a goal.

  If you don’t know why you’re in real estate, it’s going to be hard to complete your tasks. You’re not going to like it when your broker tells you to call all these leads, and so on. But if you know you’re in real estate for a flexible work schedule and for the potential to earn more money, you’ll understand why you need to call leads. You’ll connect the actions with the goals. That reduces procrastination.

The post Is Procrastination Sabotaging Your Real Estate Business? appeared first on BoomTown!.

from BoomTown! http://ift.tt/2HvCt4U