#reasons why i shouldn't make these with more than 3 pics

[siilvan]

IT'S GIVING JEALOUS-IN DENIAL-GRUMPY-SIMP!MAKAROV I- im crying

oh god i've never seen that first pic, the way he's leaned back and sorta manspreading… good lord i need him in ways disastrous to feminism. till he forgets his tragic past. gonna make him forget he wants to take over the world, save humanity frfr

*ahem* this, uh… i'm not responsible for this drabble, loosely bloodsport-based but more or less just simping, enjoy bestie 🤭

(little bit of suggestiveness BTC, y'all have been hungry for him anyway <3)

ангел – angel (pronounced as written, with a hard 'g' lol)

мое небо/moye nebo – my heaven

he is not a man often annoyed by the "small things" but this, this sight has his blood boiling beneath his skin.

you're standing across the room, about fifteen paces away, chatting with one of his captains. a loyal soldier and a fine field commander, often successful when fulfilling his orders, and makarov's willing to admit: not an unattractive man by most standards. the captain is allowed to walk behind him for a reason, he's pleased with his work.

but, he is just a captain. he holds only a sliver of the power that makarov holds. of the people in the room, he is a mere ant, something that he could crush under his boot in a fit of rage and the only quarrel would be disposing of the body. why are you so interested in him? are you not drawn in to the strength, the pride, the influence that makarov has?

he shifts in his seat, leaning forward and letting his eyes narrow at the sight. your back is to him, but the captain— oh, the captain knows very well what the look makarov sends his way means.

you've encroached on my territory.

makarov doesn't hear the next words quickly stuttered out by the man, but it's shortly after that he nods in farewell and darts out of the room. like a child being scolded; the smile that pulls at the edge of his lips gives away his feeling of cruel satisfaction. no matter how esteemed any of his men may be, he stands alone at the top.

you blink at the door after the captain darts out before visibly shrugging and shaking your head. you turn around, eyes immediately finding his, and some unfamiliar sensation tugs at makarov's heart when he catches the glimmer of familiarity in your gaze.

he shifts again, leaning back into a more relaxed position. with your attention on him once more, he can allow his shoulders to drop, his rigid posture to soften. just keep your eyes on him.

"let me guess – that excuse of 'i need to clean my knives' was actually meant to mean, 'my commander is glaring daggers at me?'" you ask, crossing the space in a leisurely stroll, far more collected than when you first arrived several weeks ago.

he chuckles, lifting a hand to signal to his soldier standing nearby. "warden, give us some space."

the masked woman's gaze flits between you two, before she responds with a single nod and a clipped "yes, commander." she marches out of the room and the door clicks shut behind her, leaving you standing alone in front of him.

"if he has time to chat, he has time to work." makarov says, his hips briefly lifting as he adjusts his position, head lolling back just slightly to look up at you.

"that's a shitty way to boost morale," you comment, mouth briefly twitching up into a bemused smile nonetheless. "why did you really send him away?"

he dismisses your question, shaking his head. "i suppose i shouldn't be surprised that a woman of your position is observant, should i?"

you smile, again, wider and longer this time. "no, you shouldn't." you mutter.

for a moment, you two are left in that position, locked in a stalemate of neither person wanting to make the next move. observing the other, attempting to read their thoughts through nothing but minimal body language. you shift your weight from one leg to the other, hands clasping in front of yourself as you tilt your head to the side slightly, barely noticeable.

your next move.

makarov says nothing more as he pats his knee, silently giving a command. it's not a question, not a request— there is no uncertainty in the action.

he catches the flash of hesitation that crosses your face, and in reply, he offers his hand. the red light cascading over the room could almost be mistaken for an omen, a sign of what is to come in the distant future as soon as you place your hand in his.

he pulls you forward, gently, urging you to close the distance yourself. take the final leap.

carefully, you step forward and place your legs on either side of his, knees pressing into the plush cushions of the sofa as you let your weight rest on his thighs. your free hand, originally awkwardly sitting at your side, comes to rest on his bicep before lightly skating up to clutch his shoulder, the crisp fabric of his suit soft under your touch.

he draws you closer still, arm moving to circle around your middle, bringing you forward until your chests are flush, your rapidly-beating heart a contrast to his own, thumping steadily as he lifts your hand to his lips, pressing an uncharacteristically chaste kiss against your skin.

"he is not worth your time, ангел." he murmurs, lowering your hand.

"and, you are?" you ask, brows lifting curiously with the question.

"by birth right, i am," he replies quickly, voice low but confident. he isn't hiding the confession, he's reserving it for your ears alone. "no matter how many men may catch your eye for a fleeting moment, no matter how many think they stand in front of me in the queue for your hand, i will always be at the front, even if i must eliminate the competition to do so. i was born superior, i alone am worthy of your grace, мое небо."

a small part of you wants to argue, to tell him no, he has to earn that privilege, but a far larger part of you keens at his words, at his hands on you, gloved fingertips dancing along your spine and digging into the plush of your hip.

"you seem awfully confident for a man silently begging to be touched." you mutter, a sharp exhale escaping you when his hand leaves your hip to slowly slide up your side, thumb trailing along your front and stopping just below the curve of your breast.

he chuckles, dropping to a gravelly whisper as his lips hover mere inches from yours, dark eyes boring into yours and rendering you immobile.

"kiss me, then." he says, unabashed. "please, ангел." he adds after a beat, tongue darting out to wet his lips. the darkness in his gaze gives way to hunger, like a beast eyeing prey, waiting for it to run so he can give chase.

you draw in a breath, metaphorically and physically swallowing down the hesitation that bubbles up again. he has you right where he wants you, caught in his trap, but as his hands push you down, his hips raising again to press right into your clothed core, you find that you suddenly don't care.

you practically fall into his embrace, cupping his jaw and pressing your lips to his, matching the predator in hunger; like a rabbit leaping on a wolf instead. his firm grip becomes almost painful as he tugs you impossibly closer, his hand coming up to the nape of your neck, holding you in place against him.

you should have expected him to take over, to reclaim his spot in control. the most makarov will ever do is share, which alone is an honor, but he will never completely give his control away.

you're falling deeper, watching the light fade as you burrow farther into the earth, further into the pitch blackness that is him. it's hard to care, nigh impossible to think about anything else when you're so far down the rabbit hole.

worry about his touch, his lips, the satisfied rumble in his chest when he practically purrs your name against your lips. everything else can wait.

[fitzrove]

Elisabeth hot takes

- Young Sisi/old Sisi split casting is a bad idea, going forward they just need to cast people who have the range to play both roles like they've done before. The Schönbrunn concert split was legit just done because people/the press were sexist and ageist about Pia Douwes earlier and it sucks. (No hate to Abla Alaoui tho, she was great in the 2022 show and I hope she'll get to play the entire role someday)

- Mark Seibert's Tod isn't straight,,,,, masculine queer men exist irl, yall just need to stop basing your interpretation of him on the 2022 concert/the 2013 boot with him and Anton Z because that Schatten is giving us nothing fjkgkfödlfösö. It's fine to prefer other Tods for how they look/act but that doesn't mean the buff one is heterosexual. The directors have done him so dirty in recent years

- I've seen some people go "ooh what if they split up der Tod so that he was played by an actress for the Rudolf scenes" which,,,,,, why?? I'm all for woman tod but the idea of ONLY having her for Rudolf scenes to add more heterosexuality into the show is weird. I say have a woman Tod for literally everything else but for Schatten and Mayerling it's inexplicably Mark Seibert to make Rudolf extra gay<3 why not sinking world as well, FJ gets to be gay too

- The woobification of Elisabeth musical Rudolf is so important because a lot of Rudolf/Mayerling adaptations seem to focus on how violent and dangerous he is (because of mental illness). A musical can never capture the entire nuance of an actual person anyway, so I think it's fair that at least one of the many adaptations portrays him in a completely sympathetic light - important for mental health representation. Doesn't mean the fandom is completely unaware of his historical crimes (murder, arson and graverobbing gkfdfodlså).

- Society has progressed past the need to comment "Tod X is much better" on vids/pics/posts focused on Tod Y, or even saying "Tod Y sucks" on vids/pics/posts celebrating Tod X, it's annoying and exhausting. Plus, the euromusical world is so small that on Youtube especially the actors might actually see it (Máté Kamarás has). I'm going to go to the guilty person's house if it happens to him again

- Rudolf shouldn't take the melody in the Schatten chorus in productions, there's a reason he sings the harmony in the original (he's being manipulated/Tod is stoking his obsessions and anxieties). Ofc it's more fun for the actor to sing the melody but they can do that in concerts XD EXCEPT Lander van Nuffelen can sing whatever he wants<333

- tod x rudolf is a good ship BECAUSE it's problematic 🥰

- Just because I ship Tod and Rudolf doesn't mean I want actual productions to do that. (Shipping is different than having "seduction" as a thematic element. Not that we're in much danger of that though lmao, the onstage romanticisation literally only happens with Tod and Sisi.) Humanizing der Tod too much (unless it's in a "he was an undomesticated panther but he's turning into a real boy<33" máté kamarás type character arc way or in a "he used to be cold and detached but is learning to have friends and feelings!!!" kaplyn way) takes away from the themes of the show, which to me (in productions) is much more important than ships. It's very rare to have a show be so deeply deconstructive (of historical figures, of "love story" conventions) and that needs to be treasured!!

- For this reason it's absolutely crucial that the show ends with Tod laying Elisabeth on the floor (and that he drops Rudolf after Mayerling)

[sterekchub]

Hi!! I LOVE your blog and I was wondering if you could talk more about Derek feeding up Stiles and Lydia? I haven’t been able to get that outta my head since you posted about it !!!

YES I see Stiles and Lydia getting together first- but Lydia is too smart not to realize Stiles is in love with Derek too. And it's not in a jealous, cheating way - it's more that Stiles has so much love and protective energy to give, and god knows after losing so much family and pack- Derek needs people around him who care for him. Lydia might not have the immediate "head over heels" love like Stiles- but she respects Derek and can see that with time and effort- he is absolutely someone she can love. As for weight gain - can see- a few different ways it pans out (I also always have this idea in my head too often) 1) It takes Derek so much time to realize they're trying to date him. And Stiles and Lydia are as obvious in their courtship as possible. Movie nights, constantly taking him out to dinners, stopping by the Sheriff's station or his mechanic shop to bring him breakfast and lunch.... They both take "best way to a man's stomach is his heart" as their motto. Only Derek is as trim as ever and Lydia and Stiles are the ones piling on the weight. Maybe the sexual frustration of "we are trying to hard to sleep with you but don't want to push" on movie nights where they've eaten probably a pound of butter and a pound of popcorn each. Or at the restaurant when they've both had too much wine and are overindulging to keep themselves from blurting out "Date us already!" When Derek does finally realize what's happening...he's very into returning the favor and does his best to spoil Lydia and Stiles with constant meals and sweets. Loves that he knows their favorite bakeries or knows Stiles fast food order or Lydia's guilty pleasures. 2) The original idea I had with Derek and PTSD. AS he falls asleep, or maybe isn't paying attention when they're sitting together on the couch, and absentmindly his hand brushes across Stiles back or will put his hand on Lydia's thigh and he suddenly starts panicking, thinking he's back with Kate.

He's in therapy and it's...helping but he gets frustrated with the lack of progress and with the lack of casual touches or struggle he has with intimacy in his relationship with both of them. Their solution - Kate was a skinny bitch, so why not plump up a bit so Derek isn't reminded so much of her? Derek goes from "you shouldn't need to do this for me" to "no one has cared about me enough to do something like that" and somehow ends at the "I've never been more attracted to you." and from there they both tumble headfirst into Derek feeding them every chance he gets. He LOVES the contrast- Stiles and Lydia approaching being twice his size, wider than they are tall and Derek never thinks of Kate anymore when he's putting a hand on Stiles' backroll or running his hand across Lydia's rounded middle. 3) The absolute smut version of no reason other than Derek being the Alpha taking care of his 2 mates and he's going to make SURE everyone can see how round and well-cared for they are. Going to werewolf symposiums or pack events, Stiles stretching out the stupid-funny T-shirts he won't get rid of, belly hanging a few inches over the waistband of his pants, contrasting Lydia in her impeccable but skin-tight dresses that show off every new roll and curve. Stiles seems like a total fast food junkie- Derek brings home fast food bags so often Stiles doesn't even see it as a meal anymore, just a snack.... Lydia with a sweet tooth and has the "few glasses of wine and chocolate" leaving her a little tipsy and bloated, stomach stretching out her skirts and dresses.... Both of them constantly teasing Derek - sending pictures of themselves out to eat. Or pics of their kitchen table covered in food with "5 minutes and we start without you."

[limmastyles]

https://at.tumblr.com/limmastyles/something-of-hinders-hairy-and-will-hinder-him-in/r9q2tjbjvbqn

But what those idiots don't realise is that the stunt is the reason why no one wants to watch the film apart from the ass kissers known as harries. Trust me when I say the entire fandom were so excited Harry was going to be in that film and were excited to watch it. It was the stunt which has been going on for two years that put people off from wanting to watch it because we're all tired of their bullshit. Even a few weeks ago when the break up rumours were circulating I saw that a lot of people changed their minds and were going to watch the film but because of the shit show them two put on the last 3 days it's put them off again and they don't want to watch it anymore. I was so happy because I thought the stunt had ended and I was actually going to go to the cinema to watch it. Not because I wanted to support her but because of Harry and Flo. But after they released those pap pics I'm definitely not going to watch it anymore. It's the stunt that's pushing people away from the film. When you're promoting something you're meant to bring people in. You need to make them want to watch your film or buy your products. Not piss them off and ruin your chances of your film being a success and getting your money. But of course the stupid idiots can't see that. They don't realise that continuing the stunt is just going to keep angering people and then making them not want to watch the film. They shouldn't have even used the stunt to promote the film in the first place. People were going to watch it anyway and they definitely would've made a lot of momey from it. The stunt WAS NOT needed. They should've opened their eyes and see how the stunt was getting so much criticism and backlash in the first couple of months (especially after yatchgate) by not just the majority of the fandom but the GP aswell. You would think that seeing all the negative reactions of the stunt would make them stop and think "mhhh maybe doing this stunt wasn't a very good idea. We need people to watch the film and continuing the stunt might continue to piss them off and then they may not want to watch the film which is not what we want. We want them to watch the film. We should end it here and find better ways to promote the film" but no. Because they just love drama and they think drama is going to get people to buy tickets and watch their shit film. If it wasn't for the stunt and Olivia promoting sexual assault as female pleasure, I'm pretty sure A LOT more people would actually give the film a chance and go to watch it in the theatres. The stunt ruined their chances of getting their money back but what can we do if none of them have a brain and are too blind to realise that? 🤷‍♀️

That's what happens when they don't know or don't want to stop in time. Cockburn is too greedy for fame and the attention she gets by using the name Harry. And Styles himself needs to work off the money invested in this terrible movie (which is unlikely to work out). Holivia doesn't necessarily last that long and people are really tired of it. And as we've been saying all this year, the best option for them would be to release the BUA a week before the premiere. And I don't care that it would be obvious, because everything they did during especially this year exposed the stunt 90% more than last year. So they should have stopped after Venice

[linawritesocs]

my ocs' glorious masquerade voicelines!

YES I KNOW THIS EVENT IS OVER BUT. WELL I'M STILL NOT OVER IT SO YEAH I'M WRITING MY SONS' VOICELINES FOR THIS EVENT.

also yes, even though seth is my mc, he has his card and his voicelines as well because. um. i wanted to write his voicelines. THAT'S IT THAT'S THE REASON DHDJKSSKSK. i'm not sure if i actually see him as "playable", but i think it would be nice if his and minnie's cards could be used as "support cards" for battles and exams, basically like a buddy bonus. also you could use their cards for lessons too!! it would be so cute to see them studying with nrc students 🥺🥺

i added their "card descriptions" as well, because i won't be able to draw all of their cards, but i still want to think about what they would look like!

seth's masquerade ssr voicelines.

card description: he's talking to rollo while they walk together and grim looks tired of him and he's thinking of running away from his owner. as for the groovified version, you can see seth smiling and dancing with someone and it seems to be rollo. he's also not wearing his hat, his mask and his cape and his hair looks more messy than usual, however, he's having fun. for the first two items, he lost them while the whole magic user genocide thing's been happening and for his cape.. he just took it off to make rollo and malleus pay attention to him. and it worked because of his shoulders being open. yeah, scandalous.

summon: "this city is, like, so cool! i honestly wouldn't mind living here- hey, grim-chan, wait for me!"

groovy: "hehe, you thought i'll just stand there and let you dance with that guy? sorry, but i've been waiting too long for this moment."

set home: "i guess this cape isn't that bad, but.."

home idle 1: "i wish minnie-chan could come with us. imagine if she saw sebek-chan right now! oh, maybe i should send her a pic or two? he's way too distracted because of malleus-chan anyway."

home idle 2: "i don't get why rollo-chan made me wear this cape, to be honest. i think it had something to do with my outfit being "too revealing"? what would he think about my halloween outfit then?? wait, i think i have some photos of it saved.. hey, rollo-chan, i have something to show you!"

home idle 3: "i don't get it. how did they manage to make these outfits? they fit us so well and they even added things like azul-chan's glasses and roland-chan's eyepatch.. where did they get that info? though i probably shouldn't be surprised, i can easily guess anyone's measurements right when i see that person, haha."

home idle groovy: "malleus-chan really thought he can just steal him away from me like that.. he's way too popular anyway, so he should let me have fun as well. maybe he did it because i refused to dance with him earlier? ugh, he's even more childish than i am.."

home tap 1: "some kids said that i look really pretty and asked if they could put flowers in my hair. i said that they should ask merrill-chan because his hair is longer, but for some reason they still wanted to do it with my hair.. they did such a great job though!"

home tap 2: "wow, ivy-chan is right, that assistant guy looks so cool! of course she would get such a huge crush on him!.. i feel kinda weird when i look at him though. if it wasn't for me changing my appearance, i would probably look just like him. so yeah, it's like meeting my own twin in some way."

home tap 3: "so epel-chan was okay with riddle-chan and deuce-chan saying that he looks cute, but when i said it, he looked at me like i just insulted his entire family??" *sobs* "why is he so mean to me.. i'm just trying to be a supportive senpai, that's all.."

home tap groovy: "i had so much fun today despite everything, i don't wanna go back to nrc! can we stay for at least one day- oh. wait, we were supposed to spend three days here, right? SO I CAN STILL TRY TO ASK ROLLO-CHAN OUT?? LET'S GO!"

hayden's masquerade ssr voicelines.

card description: he seems to be stalking seth and rollo and he has stars in his eyes and he's smiling like a fanboy that he is. meanwhile the groovified version of his card has him wearing his mask, blushing and refusing to dance with others. he looks a lot like a tsundere too, haha.

summon: "ehehe.. i can't believe i finally found someone who's related to the other seven! this is my chance, my family will be so proud of me!"

groovy: "oh, sorry, i don't really like to dance. why don't you go and dance with rollo-sama- ahem, rollo-san instead? i thought you were more interested in him anyway."

set home: "why the chameleon mask.."

home idle 1: "this school really is amazing, don't you think so, prefect-san? and the righteous judge's statue.. i've never thought that i will actually see it.. i-i'm not crying, i just got a bit emotional, haha."

home idle 2: "of course they would go with team names like that.. nrc students never change, do they? they're always so arrogant, so full of themselves, they're just so- well, i mean, it's normal to find other students annoying sometimes, right?"

home idle 3: "allen is here too? ugh, he really is following me everywhere- oh, i'm sorry, do you want to take a walk somewhere together? i would love to learn more about this city and i'm sure it would be even more fun if i do it with you. i just hope allen won't see us.."

home idle groovy: "stop looking at me like that, i told you i'm fine with you dancing with him. i'm sure rollo-san wants to dance with you as well. but promise me that you won't disappoint him. though i doubt that he would get bored with someone like you around."

home tap 1: "i just want to get a break from azul already.. why did it have to be him? honestly, i would be okay with the leech twins going with us, he's just that annoying! hm.. what if i text floyd and tell him that azul really did cheat and that's why he and jade weren't able to go? i wonder how he would react.."

home tap 2: "elpys would totally love this place. i can see her jumping around and going "hay-hay, look at this! isn't it so cool?", haha. i kinda want to see her wearing a masquerade outfit too.. prefect-san, you know it's rude to eavesdrop, right?"

home tap 3: "there are so many rsa students, but it looks like angel didn't come with them. and blythe too.. to be honest, it's a bit boring without them. and it looks like the speculum students feel lost without them as well. that catboy is doing just fine though, i'm not surprised."

home tap groovy: "no, i'm not sorry for "breaking allen's heart" or anything like that. it's something that i should have done a long time ago. you know what i mean, right? he had a crush on you too, after all. i wonder how long it's gonna take for that nemis girl to get tired of him."

merrill's masquerade sr voicelines.

card description: he's looking at his outfit and has this confused face expression, almost like he's going ".. i have to wear THIS?" and in his groovified card he seems to be looking at his phone and laughing. it looks very cute too, because you can tell that he's genuinely happy :) he's not dancing with others and it's fine, he's still having fun.

summon: "i look beautiful as always, right? haha, i know that. i just wish that guy would let me keep the first outfit, i looked even better in it."

groovy: "if i'm not dancing with you all, it doesn't mean i'm lonely or anything. i'm just talking to my cousin, what's wrong with that?"

set home: "i have to spend three days here.. i sure hope it's not gonna be boring."

home idle 1: "i'm glad you think i look good in this outfit, but.. you've seen the first one, didn't you? so you agree that i looked better in it! ah, of course you would say that, you had to go through the same thing.. i'm so sorry, prefect-chan, we will take revenge on their student council president."

home idle 2: "it really hurts me to see onyx-chan pining over my cousin like this.. okay, yeah, it hurts me because he looks pathetic and not because i feel sad or anything. but hey, that's why i should try and help him. he doesn't have to worry about anything at all~"

home idle 3: "of course, idia is also here.. and why did he ask me to be in the same team as him? is he obsessed with me or something? but i like that our outfits look different, even though we're from the same dorm. it's like i really am not his servant anymore and i have more freedom."

home idle groovy: "haha, austin-chan would lose his mind if he saw me wearing this. hey, can you take a picture for me? sure, i could take a selfie, but i trust you and i think you will take an even better photo. okay, let me think of a pose.."

home tap 1: "hey, sorry, but i think hayden-chan is thinking of stealing your man from you. do you want me to do anything about it? what, i don't mind helping you as well, you're not so good at hiding your crush on rollo-chan. you don't have to worry about it though, i doubt that he's interested in your rival."

home tap 2: "wow, those kids really have done a great job. and the colors of these flowers fit your hair so well! if your hair was longer, you would look even better.. hm? is everything okay, prefect-chan? you look so pale.."

home tap 3: "hehe, so you and grim-chan are wearing matching outfits? how cute. didn't you two do it for halloween as well? you sure get along well.. okay, why is your cat screaming and trying to run away? are you hiding something from me, prefect-chan?"

home tap groovy: "i didn't think that i'd end up saying this, but today wasn't so bad. sure, idia was here and also some of us could lose their powers forever, but it got solved more quickly than i thought. well, idia is still here, but.. hey, did you talk to their vice president yet? he's a cool guy, you're totally gonna love him. i talked to him before and i already know that i will miss him."

allen's masquerade sr voicelines.

card description: he's holding a really cool sword and looking at it with this :O face expression, like he's never seen something like this before. as for the groovified version, the card looks much darker than everyone else's cards and it has this red lighting which makes allen look more scary and intimidating. he still has a smile on his face and he seems to be holding out his hand to someone, asking them to dance.

summon: "all of this sounds so romantic! could it be.. i'll finally get a chance to dance with hayden? hehe, i can't wait!"

groovy: "now, would you like to dance with me? don't worry, as long as i'm with you, nobody can hurt you, even hayden. him being a cheater is one thing, but that loser can't even dance properly!"

set home: "i'm so excited for the festival! hey, hey, are you excited too?"

home idle 1: "for some reason, hayden isn't paying any attention to me?? it's almost like he's avoiding me for some reason.. i don't get it, why is he following that rollo guy everywhere? hey, can you do something about it, prefect-chan?"

home idle 2: "nemis-chan looks so pretty in that outfit.. u-uh, what, i'm not staring or anything! anyway, where's hayden? i should go and find him- oh, i almost tripped."

home idle 3: "you want to know why i have a sword with me? oh, i just thought it would look good with what i'm wearing, that's all. i mean, you can agree with that, right? i have no idea how to use a sword though, but whatever, i'll figure it out. where did i find it?.. oh no, their student council president is coming, distract him for me."

home idle groovy: "hey, it's not like i miss you or anything, but just so you know, i could've danced with you instead of nemis-chan today! if only you accepted my confession back then.. it's fine, you really are not the best person for me- what do you mean, we can still dance together as friends??"

home tap 1: "of course, everybody wants to dance with neige-kun.. i-i'm not jealous of him! and i've expected that, he's so popular after all, it's just.." *sighs* "i wish i was just as popular as him. i bet people would be just as excited about dancing with riley too."

home tap 2: "whoa, i didn't expect roland-senpai to reveal his other eye today. it honestly doesn't even look that creepy, i don't understand why most students got so scared of it. maybe i should go and comfort him? ah, i just remembered that he still hates me.. well, who cares about that, i'm gonna do it anyway."

home tap 3: "um, can you ask your boyfriend to stop staring at me like that? i feel like he wants to kill me or something like that and that's pretty rude of him. calm down, why is your face so red? wait, he's not your boyfriend?? i thought that you were on a date when i saw you two hanging out. haha, prefect-chan is still single!.. oh no, you have the same face expression as him."

home tap groovy: "i'm glad that jay-kun is already feeling better. i really thought he was gonna die because he's literally made of magic.. hey, can i ask you something? are you and the student council president really that close? like.. would you cry if something bad happened to him? like, something really, REALLY bad?"

roland's masquerade r voicelines.

card description: he's trying to put his mask on and he's still covering his damaged eye. he's smiling, almost like he's trying to calm everyone down and telling them not to worry about his vision.

summon: "i think i should wear a mask instead of an eyepatch because it would fit this festival's theme better. i just hope others won't find my eye too scary.."

groovy: "haha, being a fae in this situation is so.. inconvenient. i'll still try to help others though. that's what a reliable upperclassman should do."

set home: "thank you for saying that i still look good. i really appreciate it."

home idle 1: "did allen really steal that sword?" *sighs* "of course he would do that, why am i even asking. i'll go and apologize for him. it's not like i'm worried about allen, i just don't want other rsa students to look bad."

home idle 2: "why did neige-kun ask me to dance with him? he has so many fans and admirers, why would he find me more interesting? i don't get it.. maybe he just felt bad for me because everyone's been avoiding me this whole time? this is so embarrassing.."

home idle 3: "hehe.. oh, don't mind me, i just noticed something and i thought it was funny. um, don't you think my name is quite similar to rollo-kun's name?" *laughs* "sorry, i thought about it again. i should listen to the other students and stop saying dumb things- you think it's funny too? i'm glad to hear it."

home tap 1: "i'm not used to wearing something like this.. hm? what do i usually wear? ah, when i was younger, i was in my.. ahem, "emo phase", so i mostly wore everything black. i looked kinda scary back then, haha. i think my fashion taste is much better now, though it doesn't seem like avery-kun agrees with me."

home tap 2: "it looks like you and other nrc students are having fun. oh, did that sound weird? i just.. yeah, as you can see, i don't really feel like i belong with other rsa students. sometimes i wonder how my life would go if i never had to transfer to this school.. no, i shouldn't think about it like that, i have avery-kun and other gardening club members after all!"

home tap 3: "don't you think it's strange that even though it's called "the city of flowers", we haven't seen any flowers yet? i'm very curious about this city's "special" flowers as someone who's a gardening club leader.. it's a shame that avery-kun couldn't come with us, i can imagine him asking rollo-kun about them until he agrees to show them."

fake!jay's masquerade r voicelines.

card description: he looks like a poor innocent child who has no idea where he is hjdjdksdks. basically he's just standing there, looking lost and kinda nervous with a drop of sweat on his face.

summon: "d-do i look weird? how do i move in something like- oh no, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to fall like this! w-what should i do, everyone is looking at us.."

groovy: "imagine if my creator found out about this.. what would his reaction be? would he be worried about me or would he be happy because he doesn't have to think about his creation being more loved and talented than him? never mind, i'm just thinking out loud."

set home: "um, well, i guess i like my mask.."

home idle 1: "i wish i could learn more about this city with everyone else, but.. allen-senpai. i have to make sure he doesn't do anything weird or even illegal. i'm jealous of one of those nrc students, jamil-senpai, was it? he doesn't have to worry about anything like that right now.."

home idle 2: "i don't think my creator would like this place, it's too noisy for someone like him. maybe it's because of the festival, but i can't imagine him enjoying this trip. what about me? uh.. i guess i don't mind it that much? no, actually, i like it a lot. it makes me feel like i'm a real person with a fun and exciting school life."

home idle 3: "maybe it's for the best that angel-senpai didn't come with us. i still respect them even though they're just as unique as allen-senpai, but i wouldn't want them to cause problems for the nbc students. and we have chenya-senpai here, so that's.. that's already too much."

home tap 1: "h-hey, i'm sorry for asking this, but.. would grim-san be okay with me giving him some headpats? again, i'm so sorry, he just looks so cute today, i can't help it! h-he's fine with it? are you sure about that?.. what do you mean, he will regret saying no to me?"

home tap 2: "why did i have to dance with chenya-senpai out of all people.. no, seriously, why did he choose me? i'm one of the most "ordinary" students here, i'm too boring for him! you think i tend to attract chaotic people because of my personality? what's that supposed to mean??"

home tap 3: "i've actually done a lot of research before going here with everyone else. i won't deny it, i got really excited when i heard that i'm one of the students who were chosen. as for allen-senpai.. he just went "oh, hayden is going to be there? okay, i'm coming then!" he really thought that he had a choice too.."

[recappers-delight]

I AM INFURIATED!!!!

But not for the reasons you think.

How many of you watched the She-Ra panel tonight? ACTUALLY WATCHED IT?! Because I did and here's what I saw:

1. "_____ called someone the D slur"

He DID NOT call anyone that word. He used it in the context of announcing a panelist to the show. The word is IN THE TITLE of her podcast. He was literally just stating the title. That's it.

2. "Noelle said Double Trouble would be creepy around kids."

What Noelle said was that to get the inspiration for Flutterina, Double Trouble would have gone to a coffee shop, found a girl to imitate, and stare at her until they got her mannerisms down. Because of the implications here irt trans people and the stereotypes of "creeping on children", this could have been worded better. BUT this whole headcanon was in response to Noelle DEFENDING Double Trouble against the rest of the crew thinking they straight up murdered the real Flutterina. And again, problematic because of larger implications, but on the show Double Trouble IS A VILLAIN. Just because we think they're awesome doesn't mean they're not capable of shady shit. I saw very few people having a problem with this before. Other things they said about DT?

They specifically searched for a non-binary trans activist to voice the role.

Double Trouble was the whole cast's favorite character.

Everyone had a crush on them.

They support DT x Peekablue headcanon and think they should date.

3. "Noelle said Entrapta and Hordak are great representation."

Literally just did not say this. This comment was made by a fan writing in. A fan who, by the way, IS DISABLED THEMSELVES, and was writing in to thank the crew for the rep THEY saw in these characters. Noelle didn't agree or disagree at all. She goes on to give a character analysis about them both, and that's it.

4. "They made Bow's brothers slaves."

No. They didn't. It's a crew inside joke that all of Bow's brother's have pun names that rhyme with "Bow". The brother in question came from one of the other male creators making the joke "which one of Bow's brothers tills the field? Sow." Here's a pic from Noelle about the rest of the brothers.

Because of the complicated history between black people and "farm work" it's best to not make any joke at all like this. It was tasteless and misguided, but hardly a reason to grab pitchforks. Black people have the phrase "whites gonna white" for a REASON. We know there's no such thing as an unproblematic person. Creator or otherwise. Is it still wrong? Yes. Should people strive to do and be better? Absolutely. Should allies listen when POC talk about things that make us uncomfortable, and support us when WE call it out? Please, for the love of God!!! But I do not think the level of backlash the crew-ra is getting is at all warranted.

I understand I do not speak for all black people or lesbians, and I don't speak for ANY of those other groups mentioned and possibly offended, because I am not one of them. However, I felt the need to speak for myself. I am SO SICK of everyone knee-jerk reacting to every little thing that could possibly offend someone. Noelle is not perfect, but she has done a SHIT TON of work for representation and the progression of normalizing queer, inclusive stories to younger audiences. She also went to bat for a diverse cast of characters to be voiced by a diverse cast of VA.

The truly fucked up thing? There was a question someone wrote in about how a cis, straight, white person can respectfully tell the stories of underrepresented and marginalized communities. Noelle then goes on for 5 minutes about how it's difficult, and how it's more important to hold doors open for creators who actually come from those communities to be able to have their own voices heard. And this is the woman you throw flames at? Ridiculous. Our true enemies are able to so easily conquer us, because we so easily divide ourselves.

No one owes allegiance to any one fandom or creator. But we have got to start picking our battles more carefully. If we don't, people will become desensitized to our cries when REAL threats and offenses happen. And white people? PLEASE stop being so outraged at every little "off-color" remark someone makes YOU think might offend ME. I appreciate you wanting to be an ally, but you are drowning out our voices over things that really matter. That's why we get shit like musicians and sports teams changing their "racially insensitive" names, while police are STILL killing unarmed black peple in the streets without repercussions. It shouldn't be an either/or thing, but it often is, so please focus your attention on "canceling" THAT.

TL;DR: Don't just retweet and reblog everything you see without doing your own research and forming your own opinion. Speak out against bigotry, but understand when it's time attack, and when it's time to educate. Stop holding people on so high a pedestal they have no room to grow, and can only fall. Do not speak for, or louder, than the people you say you are standing up for. We can speak for ourselves. Help amplify our voices; DO NOT BECOME OUR VOICES. And finally, because we really do just have so much bigger fish to fry:

[androgynousblackbox]

What did vaush do this time?

Oh, boy. Okay, so this the timeline of events as far I could gather: 1. Vaush made a tweet in which he said that Joane Karen could have stayed quiet and she would have been revered for years to come. That is true. Then he added "women should apoligize and stay quiet more challenge." If that were all nobody would have cared that much. 2. Joanne Karen, making honor of her second name, screenshot his tweet though, doing the usual "see, see?? this is what pro-trans activists are all like! They all just hate women! And I am the most suffered victim of all! Woa is me!" bullshit everytime she gets a papercut. 3. The whole online left was then divided on people who said Vaush did nothing wrong and people who, very correctly, pointed out that weaponizing misogyny against a very powerful TERF is only going to hurt trans people and especially trans women on the long run, directly feeding into the victim narratives that they use to explain why trans woman can't use the bathroom. 4. Enters Kat Blaque and Contrapoints, both trans women. Contrapoints didn't liked the joke and I think that was literally all she did? I think some patreon post too but I didn't saw much of that so meh. Kat Blaque took another screenshot of the original tweet of Vaush, censored his identity and asked other trans women if they agree with people using misogyny against transphobes. 5. Vaush, in a incredible display of manchild behaviour that I frankly didn't expect from him, decides to then DM Kat and "debate" with her about how he was actually right and she is wrong, using a weird ass hypothetical about a black rapper using misogyny on his lyrics and then being criticizing by Shapiro? Kat answered essentially "no, I wouldn't defend misogyny from him but also it's not the same? you are not a trans person on this situation" and Vaush kept ignoring that to keep demanding a yes or not answer. When she keeps saying that she didn't care about his content that much in the first place and just wanted to have a conversation with other trans women, Vaush insists that he is better to advocate for the trans community than she is, that he is "concerned" for Kat and other dismissive misogynistic bullshit that I am honestly amazed that she could tolerate as well as she did. 6. After this conversation, Vaush did what I think was a 7 hour stream about the whole issue and somewhere on it he talked about how Kat "yell at white men but in private fetishize them" and how obssesed she was with him. 7. Following this, Kat released sexting messages (no pics, though) that she and Vaush exchanged years ago where Vaush approached her first. Somewhere she tweets again that she will settle for white dick sometimes but find it overall "underwhelming." 8. Because of this, a fucking legion of people are now calling what Kat did the same as sexual assault/abuse/rvenge porn and how Vaush, again, "might" have done something wrong, "maybe", but really it was Kat and Contra the true villains for not agreeing with Vaush because, what, do you want to defend a terf??? 9. For the record, Kat admits and recognizes that she shouldn't have said that or released those messages. I agree that she shouldn't have said that either. Does anyone of the Vaush defenders cares? No. The worst I have seen people say about Vaush comments on Kat fetishizing white men is that they were "spicy" and nothing else. Vaush now uses a old tweet where Kat was admitidly awful to a trans suicidal kid as for reason as to why she isn't good for the trans community, unlike him, the cis guy, which is fucking priceless coming from the guy who is constantly clipped out of context and has every awful accusation flown his way. Kat apoligized for that old tweet, again admits it was an awful mistake on her part, but Vaush doesn't care because she didn't played his debate game. So now people keep making videos about how Vaush did nothing wrong, Kat is a monster, Contra is a hypocrite and I just want to scream.

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[oneofthosesimps]

Martyr

pairing: levi x reader I nsfw

word count: 5729

summary: after a long day and lots of tension, levi takes care of you and fucks you into your dilirium

warnings: choking (i mean like you get no air at all), rough sex, dirtytalk, swearing, sub x dom

authors note: ok, i'm absolutely not satisfied with the fanfic, but i've been sitting on it for way too long and i have to get it out now, because i can't work on anything else. the next one will be better, i promise.

all credits to the artist of this pic

i hope that's right

-----

"They're miserable" Oluo says to you and wrinkles his nose. You look at Marco Bott in front of you, hanging in the ropes of the ODM gear and trying with all his might to keep his balance.

A gust of air swirls individual leaves around you, causing a few strands of your hair to fall into your face. The ropes of the ODM gear blow back and forth slightly and this small movement completely throws Bott off balance. You can see the effort and sweat beading on his face, he clenches his teeth tightly before panic overcomes him. His body can't find balance and he starts to row his arms, but it's too late. He topples over backwards and with a dull thud his head hits the stone floor. "Pathetic," you mutter, grabbing your forehead with your hand. Actually, such an impact shouldn't even happen, but judging by the appearance, since Bott slipped out of the leather straps, he hadn't fastened them properly. "The students are a disaster," Oluo says in your direction, and you nod slightly at him.

"Okay, Bott, out of the harnesses! Arlert, you're up next!" he shouts to the other group members, then runs to Marco to help him out of his predicament.

Your eyes roam over the other groups and their contraptions. Oluo was right with his statement. It's been a long time since you've seen such a pile of work. There are individual exceptions like Mikasa Ackerman or Annie Leonhardt, but as mentioned before, these are only exceptions. The rest are doing just as poorly as Bott. A long sigh escapes you.

"They are a bunch of shit.” Your hackles stand up and a cold shiver runs down your spine. The goosebumps start at your shoulders and then spread down your arms. Your heart seems to skip a beat.

"Yes, they are, Captain." Oluo stands next to you again and your captain joins in as well. Out of the corner of your eye, you look to your left at Levi, who looks straight ahead with his arms folded in front of his chest.

"Oi, Arlert, you're a disgrace to our troop. Get a grip."

"Yes, sir," Armin shouts back, but you can see the uncertainty Levi's words bring and his whole-body tenses. He also loses his balance, his body swings backwards and he hangs upside down in the ropes, like Marco Bott before - at least he doesn't hit his head.

"What did I tell you!!! Tighten the center!" roars Oluo, stomping his feet as he makes his way to Arlert.

A breeze comes up again, stronger this time, and the cadets have great difficulty keeping their balance. In fact, everyone sails back, except, to your surprise, Connie Springer, who is cheered on by the rest of his group. You pull your jacket tighter around you, hoping it would catch some of the spring wind, but you shiver anyway.

"Your jaw is tight," Levi's deep voice says beside you, and you turn your gaze to him in surprise. His grey eyes look down at you from above and you swallow hard. He's such a handsome man. His shoulders show well through his uniform and his shirt tightens a bit at his chest due to his muscles. His eyes sparkle slightly from the sun shining on his face. The wind has spread some hair on his forehead and your fingertips start to tickle. How you would like to brush them away. You clench your hands into fists to stop yourself.

"Didn't even realize it," you reply, turning your gaze back to Oluo and Arlert to stay calm. Your heart drums a little in your chest. Your comrade is trying his best to help him and give him instructions and assistance.

"To be honest, your whole body is tense". You feel Levi's calm gaze still resting on you and you put your head back and stare at the sky. A few clouds drift across the sky, white and fluffy.

"It's been a busy day, too." Your eyes shift back to him and you both look into each other's eyes. His grey eyes seem almost a bright silver. He studies you more closely and the corners of his mouth lift up ever so slightly. "Understandable, with this bunch of idiots." You roll your eyes and have to grin slightly before sighing again. It was admittedly leaching to complete the first training sessions with new cadets. They are all so full of anticipation before harsh reality catches up with them and about a third of all are sent back home - if they still have a home after Wall Maria was breached and Shiganshina District had to be left.

Of course, it was little different for you back then, but you performed solidly right from the start and made it to the top 3 of all graduates after hard training. That was also the reason why Levi included you in his squad.

Nonetheless, you just got annoyed and wanted a break from all the frustration and instruction you had to give. Being a teacher is not the reason you joined the Survey Corps.

Levi is just opening his mouth to say something when Petra's loud voice echoes across the square.

"Captain, I need your help." Over Levi's shoulder, you can see her, hands flailing in the air. Levi clicks his tongue and his expression changes, becomes slightly annoyed. You do the same. He leans over to you, his head right next to yours. His strong scent of black tea and citrus rises to your nose and your knees go weak. His hot breath hits the shell of your ear and goosebumps cover your body again. "I'll make you feel better later." Your heart starts beating faster and a deep blush settles over your cheeks. You hold your breath as he turns and walks with strong strides back to his spot by Petra, the Wings of Freedom emblazoned large on his back.

"Tch, I haven't seen a fucking weakling like that in a long time, Yaeger," you hear him shout further back. Again, a slight grin comes over you.

"Ma'am, can you help me with the straps?" calls Christa Renz over to you. She snaps you out of your thoughts and you come back to yourself. You expel your long-held breath and make your way over to her.

The rest of the training was like chewing gum compared to before. The remaining part of your group wasn't a total bust, but Levi's words left a sweet note and butterflies in your stomach. Your whole body tingled with joy and the scenarios in your head took their own course. Every now and then your gaze swung to Levi, even as you have pulled yourself together, but the temptation was far too great. And then when he caught your gaze, you could see the change in him even across the distance. At one point you even thought he winked at you, which was the most uncharacteristic thing ever for him, but just the pure thought that you were right made your knees weak again. For this reason, you were more concerned with your students, who were not very happy about it. You had the reputation of being almost as strict as Levi - but with less insults - and that although your size made you look more like a dwarf. At the end of the training, the Levi Squad then condemned the worst to clean up the mess. The sun was lower by now, it was late afternoon and the wind was blowing stronger. You walked together as a group back to the large building and followed the cadets to the mess hall.

As usual, you took your food first before the rest could strike, which you were more than happy about. At least on days when there was meat, it was always an advantage for everything and everyone to fill their plates before Sasha Blouse. Her love for food was immeasurable. After her, there wasn't that much left for others to lead and sharing was out of the question for her. You plod along behind Eld with your full plate and settle into the seat next to him and Oluo.

"What a day, huh guys?" groans Petra, sliding onto the bench across from you, followed by Gunther and then Levi, who grabs the seat across from yours.

You stare at the potatoes, meat and bread in front of you and start eating, almost burning yourself.

The others do the same, while Levi drinks his tea and lets his gaze roam the room to observe the other cadets.

"There, you say something. I wonder when it's going to be expedition time again. Time to kill some titans again, isn't it?" grins Oluo next to you, poking you in the side. You give him a dry look. "You mean so I can do all the work again and you can rest?" Oluo blushes slightly, whether from anger or shame, and slashes at the table with his knife in his right hand.

"I was here long before you even got around to it, kid".

"That makes your 39 kills all the sadder," you mock, and the others stifle their laughter.

Oluo contorts his face and is about to open his mouth when Eld slaps him on the back, "Oh Oluo, I can still remember when you wet yourself on your first expedition."

The blow startles Oluo slightly and he yelps in pain. He slaps his hand over his mouth and contorts his face. "I bit my tongue," he mumbles, which really makes the others laugh now. You, on the other hand, just roll your eyes again and are pleased inwardly.

No matter how much you get on each other's nerves sometimes, you are a family that always stands up for each other. Most of the happy moments you can still remember were spent with this group. Each had its strengths and weaknesses, which in turn compensated for another. Your gaze falls on each of them as they still laugh and Oluo still complains before you look at Levi.

Again, your breath catches slightly. His gaze pierces you and holds you spellbound. He looks at you as he slowly eats. A shiver runs down your spine again and you press your legs together. His gaze is intense and deep, going straight to your soul. His silver eyes are darker and possessive. No one at the table seems to notice what's happening, as Levi has always been good at hiding your personal moments. It's a mystery to you how he did it since you always felt caught and like your body didn't really belong to you. He was the one thing that always upset you and left you breathless. You smile slightly at him and his gaze darkens even more, making you swallow.

"Captain, how about a little break for us tonight? We could all sit down together for a bit and have a little drink," Petra catches your attention. She blushes slightly and you have to suppress the gagging. Never, never, would Levi ever feel anything for Petra. Everyone liked her, including him and yourself, of course, but not in that way. They were much too different for that and didn't have the same goals. But you had already noticed how Petra looked at Levi and blushed and bit her lip and stroked through her hair and smiled and laughed extra and positioned herself well and always stood next to him, sat down, tried to work with him, always addressed him directly, took him in protection. You were never jealous because Levi never gave you a reason to be, but Petra made it really hard for you sometimes. Especially since no one, except Hange, of course, knew about how things were between Levi and you.

"Oi, your hand," Gunther says, touching it. You recoil and realize how your hand hurts. You clutch your knife tightly, your knuckles white. Everyone is looking at you. You let go of it and it falls to the table before you mumble a quiet apology and continue eating. Speaking of which, you were bad at hiding your feelings for Levi. The others let go of you and turn their attention back to Petra and Levi.

"Tch, do what you want, I still have workto do". Petra looks slightly disappointed and starts eating again. The rest of the meal was quieter as everyone was busy filling their bellies. Eld and Gunther are the first to leave before Levi raises his voice. "Oi, Petra, take my dishes away as soon as you finished". The girl seems hopeful for a brief moment before Levi smashes her hopes. He looks at you and your almost empty plates. "... And the other one here too".

With these words he straightens up. You look up at him. "Would you help me just now?" His eyes show a sparkle again and your gaze falls on Petra and Oluo for a brief moment before you nod. With those words, he trots off. You quickly get up, say goodbye, and walk after him. Your path past the cadets is quiet and the murmuring around you also quiets, which always happened when Levi was around. No one would dare to accidentally say something that might upset him. Levi headed for the stone stairs in the hallway, down the long hallway to the door of his office. A few torches flicker on the wall, lighting your way, even with the sun still providing more than enough light from outside. All the while, you follow him quietly until he unlocks the door and both of you step inside.

You close the door behind you with a soft click and turn around. Levi is standing in front of you with his arms folded in front of his chest. He leans slightly against his desk and examines you from top to bottom. The evening sun shines through the window behind him and strong shadows stand out on his face. "How are you?" You bite your lower lip and swallow hard. "Pretty good, I guess," you say and avert your gaze, looking down at the ground. You continue to feel his gaze and you blush slightly. Your breathing gets a little heavier and you swallow again. The tension in this room is heavy and oppressive. The energy between you is crackling and the hairs on your arms are standing up. It is amazing how different Levi could behave. Toward everyone else on the planet, he was an ass, no question about it. But to you, he treated you like you were a flower that would wilt if he didn't take proper care of it. You bite your lower lip. Levi's footsteps come toward you until he's standing right in front of you and you can look at his shoes. He puts a finger under your chin and lifts your face. His eyes are impenetrable, and he can probably read you again like one of his books.

"You know better than to bite your lip," he whispers to you. He places his left hand against the door behind you and leans against you. His eyes pull you in before you close them and feel his lips on yours. In the background, you hear him turn the key in the lock, locking you in this room. His teeth graze over your bottom lip and he captures it, sucking on it before releasing it. "I'll do that for you, won't I?" A low moan escapes you and you open your eyes again. He was even closer to you, your noses almost grazing each other, and his hot breathing and warmth befuddle you.

"Remember what I promised you earlier?" You nod and lick your lips. His gaze immediately darts to that movement before he looks into your soul again. "Repeat it."

"You promised me that you would make me feel better".

A slight smile curls his lips and he takes your face in his right hand. You nestle into it and your heart flutters.

"So, do you still want this?" What a question, you think and nod slightly, kissing the inside palm of his hand and staring at him. Please make me feel good. Again, he has to smirk slightly and presses a feather-light kiss to your forehead before stepping away from you, taking his warmth with him. He steps back to his desk and resumes his previous posture there. His face and body tension are harder and his eyes seem much darker than before.

"Take off your clothes," comes his instruction. His voice is also low and hard. You look at him a little unsettled and surprised before you start undoing the buttons of your blouse. His gaze follows your movements and he tilts his head slightly. You kick your shoes aside. The removal of your pants in particular seems to fascinate him, and you swear you saw a sparkle in his eyes as your bra and panties follow the other garments as well. So, you stand in front of him, shivering slightly from the temperature difference, causing your nipples to poke hard at him and your skin to be covered in goosebumps again. He licks his lips and takes off his jacket, placing it on his desk behind him. He undoes the straps that wrap around his torso and sets them aside as well.

"Kneel down." You do as you were told and kneel on the cold wooden floor. This causes the cold to shoot more strongly through your body and you shake yourself slightly. Levi is still watching you and slowly lets his gaze roam over you. After your next blink, he rises and steps to the other side of his desk, which faces his window. He opens the first drawer on the left and pulls out something. After closing it, he comes back to your side and slowly steps towards you. You are a little surprised at what he just did since you can't see anything in his hands. He stops in front of you and looks down. You follow his hands, which reach for the buttons of his shirt, which he then slowly opens bit by bit. His gaze stares at you again, while he moves as if in slow motion. For you, it was all much too slow and with each button your heart beat a beat faster again. If it were up to you, you would have torn it from his body so that the buttons would fly across the room. But your hands remain still in your lap as you wait for each button. Finally arriving at the last one, he undoes it as well before slipping his shirt off his torso. His shoulders and arms work as he does so, and your knees soften. You love his body, he's a god. With all the years of training and fighting experience, it goes without saying that he is trained, but his cross and arms especially make your heart weak. You don't know what that is because of, but it's just a preference of yours on him. One of the many you have to mention about it. And you love every single scar from his skin you've run along them so many times with your lips and fingers. Slowly your temperature changes. Your body becomes warm and you notice how your center becomes moist. He reaches into his right pants pocket and pulls out a long piece of rope. Your breath catches and your eyes widen. Levi still just looks at you and plays with it a bit, tightens it and let’s go again. As he does, the muscles under his skin play again, looking indescribable with the setting sun in the background. Veins come out from under his skin and you pull your eyebrows together in frustration. He shines like a saint that you love to cling to so that he can keep all the evil in the world away from you.

"Hands behind your back." Immediately you do as he said and follow him as long as you can with your gaze as he walks around you and then kneels behind you. His fingers are warm as they graze your skin and he ties the rope around your wrists to join your two hands together. After he's done, he runs his hands up your arms, touching the haunches above your collarbones for seconds before pulling his hands away again.

"Close your eyes," he whispers in your right ear. The last thing you see before your eyes flutter shut are the last rays of the sun, which bathe the room in a deep orange-red. You feel something being placed over your eyes. Levi ties the piece of cloth to the back of your head and then rises. As soon as you realize he's done, your eyes open briefly, only to see deep black. Butterflies spread through your lower stomach and you press your lips together to stifle a moan. With excitement and anticipation, you feel more wetness between your legs and squirm slightly to create some pressure, but to no avail. Now without sight, you rely more on your ears and the sounds of the environment around you. Levi moves quietly around the room, you locate him at his desk and hear him light a match. The smell of smoke fills the room. When he seems to be finished, he moves back toward you. You hear the rattle of the buckles of his belts, which then fall to the floor with a sound. He loosens one strap after another until the sounds stop. You feel his presence in front of you and squeeze your legs together again. Fabric rustles before it's quiet again. Suddenly, a hand reaches into your hair and pulls your head almost painfully to the back of your neck. Air escapes your throat and you make a surprised sound.

"Open your mouth." Levi's voice seems even deeper than usual and hard, almost cold. You open it on command and stick out your tongue. You hear him smirk and feel one of his fingers, which slowly works its way to your throat. "I raised you so well," Levi murmurs, and you suck on his finger. Shortly after, two more join him. "I'm going to use you so well. You're going to do exactly what you were made to do: choke on my cock and milk it afterwards." A long moan escapes you and you suck on his fingers, your tongue playing with them before withdrawing them again. A feather-light touch brushes over your left nipple and you sigh. "I saw the look on your face earlier. How shamelessly you fantasize about such things while your cadets are in front of you and that idiot Oluo is standing next to you. How I would have loved to take his place". Your saliva causes your nipples to harden again as the cold air swirls around them. The hand in your hair loosens. Shortly after, you feel something warm and soft against your lips. Your mouth opens again and you groan. Levi's cock slides between your teeth into the roof of your mouth and he moans out too. "Fuck, finally." You feel the wetness between your legs run down your thigh before it drips onto the floor. Levi's hand finds its way into your hair again, and he pulls his hips back before they shoot forward again and his cock buries itself in your mouth once more. He holds this speed for some time. You get warmer and warmer, especially at the thought of you kneeling there right now in front of him and him using your mouth. "You're doing so good, slut," Levi murmurs from above, thrusting harder. The sound of your mouth smacking and his increasingly heavy breathing echoes through the room. You taste a few drops of his juice and your eyes roll back into your skull. Again, a long moan escapes you and the hand in your hair grips harder. Slight pain jolts through your scalp and goosebumps form on your skin again.

"Your mouth is so warm and wet. Just not as tight as your cunt, but I can change that". His cock finds its way deeper into your throat, almost hitting the back it before withdrawing completely. For a brief moment you feel his lips on yours, his tongue exploring the path his cock had paved earlier. He tastes himself on your lips and wants much more of it. The kiss is wild and he leaves you with throbbing, swollen lips. "Tongue out." Before you can take a breath, you're sticking it out at him again. He slaps his cock on it a few times before burying himself inside you again with one smooth thrust. His entire length fills your mouth, and you gag slightly as his tip sticks way too deep in your throat. Levi doesn't let up though, keeping you that way before resuming his previous speed and hardness. You squeeze your eyes shut, but tears escape your eyelids anyway. They wet the fabric on your eyes and find their way along under it, flowing down your cheeks and dripping on your legs. The more your throat hurts, the heavier Levi's breathing becomes. His balls hit your chin and his second hand finds its way into your hair as well, holding you in place.

"You feel so good," his deep, dry voice comes out. "...The way you sit here in front of me and suck me so good. Other men dream about it. Who would believe what a slut you are?" You moan and the vibration makes him wince and he claws into your scalp. As best you can, you slide your tongue around his shaft, grasping his tip, sucking on him while his hips keep thrusting. Your mouth and neck feel painful and your jaw hurts from the constant mouthing. As your tongue touches his balls, his hips twitch and he pulls back breathlessly. His cock pulls out of you again and you gasp for air. You cough heavily and saliva runs down the corners of your mouth.

Suddenly, Levi's hands push at your hips and pull you upward. Your legs are jello, which is why he catches your weight and supports you. The soles of your feet touch the ground for only a few moments before you feel his shoulder against your stomach and your face comes to rest on his back. The air is forced from your lungs and blood rushes to your head. He grips the rope at your wrists, thus holding you tight before he moves. “Levi, I want more”, you mumble and feel the juice running between your legs. He opens the door to his bedroom and carries you to his bed, where he lays you down somewhat roughly. The room smells like him. The bed linen is freshly washed, which is normal for him. The smell of tea is also heavy in the air, as well as its own note, which is that of Levi himself. “Tch, it's clear to me that you little bitch can't get enough. But do not worry, my big cock will fill you up in a minute.”

He turns you onto your stomach and pulls your butt up and towards him. You feel his warm breath at your center and your muscles tremble. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself for being so wet?" He blows against your wet lips and you squirm slightly under him. You feel his tongue licking once along your slit. You moan loudly as you finally get some touch before his hand hits your right ass cheek and you howl in pain. Without warning, his cock drills deep into your cunt and your moans mingle in the small space, echoing out to you. Immediately, Levi picks up the pace he had earlier while fucking your mouth. You jerk beneath him, moaning into the mattress beneath you, and your fingernails each dig into the wrist of the other arm. Again, Levi's hand closes around the rope and he pulls you up to him, grasping your throat with his other hand and biting your shoulder. You moan his name loudly and press against the warmth of his chest. He licks over the bite marks and fucks you harder. Your walls close tightly around his cock and he moans loudly next to your ear. "How tight can you get?" he murmurs, and his hand around your throat squeezes tighter. His fingers are right against your main arteries. Your air gets shorter, your pulse beats faster to push the blood into your head, but because of the pressure from his fingers it doesn't work. Light panic overcomes you and mixes with your lust. "Levi...I-I," you try to say before everything around you goes black. Your whole-body collapses and you can't finish your sentence. He immediately releases the pressure of his hand before you finally lose consciousness and the blood rushes back to your head. The difference in pressure makes you dizzy as you slowly regain consciousness. His thrusts don't stop, his endurance was immeasurable. He moans into your neck and your whole belly tingles with satisfaction. Your moans get louder again.

"Again?"

"Yes," you groan out. You hear him laugh softly before the pressure around your throat intensifies again and the scenario from just now repeats itself. The mixture of dizziness and pleasure is a deadly mix. Nothing feels better and you want more, more and more, but Levi knows exactly when to stop before he puts your little body through too much. As you come to yourself again, Levi loosens his hand around the rope and wraps his arm around your stomach. He presses you tighter against him, holding your weak body tight. "You're the biggest slut," he murmurs against your ear. The hand on your belly slowly strokes to your pelvic bones, slowly finding its way between your legs. He circles your clit with his middle finger, making you twitch and squirm against his chest as you praise his name. His lips settle on your neck, beginning to suck as his hand pushes deeper. He feels his own cock thrusting into you and adds his index and middle fingers, burying them in your creamy hole as well, which they grip tightly, and your moans grow louder again. No one must ever know what Levi does with you during all those hours in his bedroom. No one would probably believe it. How many marks he has left on your body, how many times he has cut off your air, how many times he has fucked you into unconsciousness, left your cunt sore. If Levi would be a religion, you would be its first martyr.

You lay your head in your neck and his hand around your throat rests on your forehead, pressing your head back. This makes it easier for him to get to your throat with his mouth. He licks away the sweat next to the mark before making more. "I'm so sick of no one knowing what I do to you," he hums against your neck. "I'm so fed up with the fact that some complete idiots actually still think they have a chance with you, can fuck you the way I'm doing right now". At these words he fucks you incessantly, his two fingers in addition inside you, which stretch you further and you are in heaven. Your delirium is near. He feels his way forward, curves his fingers, massages the inside of your walls. He just can't get to your g-spot due to the extra space his dick takes up and you will think you are going insane. "Even though yes I love how jealous you get of Petra. Tch, as if I would touch that filthy bitch." His thrusts get even harder and your whole-body tenses, groaning in pain. "No one can give me what you give me," he whispers. No one could give him the power he had over you. He could do whatever he wanted with you and you would get wet with lust and horniness. You were a dream come true, not just in that way. Levi loves you more than anything else in the world, even if he never says it, but deep inside you know it.

The thumb of his hand moves between your legs again to your clitoris and presses against it. A second, two seconds pass before you explode. Your vision goes white despite your blindfold, your body writhes, the muscles in your thighs twitch wildly, and you scream the room together. His name falls from your lips again as he fucks you through your orgasm. Each thrust brings sparks, his lips on your neck and his hands on and inside you. As your body slowly calms, he releases you, removes his hands, and pushes you back into the mattress. Your face shifts over the fabric before he has you back in the right position. His right leg settles next to your hip and you hear the bed creak beneath you. He continues to increase his speed, getting harder. His head settles into your neck and he moans loudly as he fucks you, finally meeting his end. Tears run down your cheeks as your body is drained, screaming at you to take a break. But the sensation between your legs pulls through your body again, making you moan once more. His hands dig painfully into your ass before Levi explodes inside you. His juice squirts into you and your name falls from his lips, giving you butterflies again. He thrusts with light strokes before gradually slowing down and dropping against your body.

He gives himself a brief moment before rising from you and untying your hands. without any remaining body tension, you fall onto the mattress beneath you and tear the blindfold from your head. The room is dark. The sun has set in time and your sense of time is confused. The light from the candle in the office brings a little light into the room, so that you can make out the outlines of the furniture.

"Better?" You hum to him and snuggle into the blanket beneath you. "Oi, I'll run us a bath, don't fall asleep." You grumble again and look after him as he leaves you alone and drained in the dark room.

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 3 : MC calls Phil. The next night, as she was going to the bar, someone crosses her path which unpleases her. She rushes to the Aurora and that's where another chapter of her life begins.

Warning : little swearing 🙈

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Heyy guys!! How are you? 😁 So sorry this part took so long to be published. Pardon me. Hope you'll like it! 😁

(I don't own the pics, I just made the collage. Credit goes to the creators of Duskwood and owners of the pics.)

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I take a deep breath in and out as I do a messy bun. I feel like I am getting ready for a marathon. My heart is already beating stronger and faster than normal and I haven't pressed the calling button yet. It's crazy how he makes me feel even when he isn't here, next to me… Just a thought of him and it makes my heart racing. I wonder how he feels when I'm close to him, talking to him, or just when someone mentions me. Does he even think about me sometimes? I know Phil is pretty confident about himself but that doesn't mean he cannot feel nervous, right? Anyway... I have a call to make. Alright, one last deep breath in and out and… Oh, you're such an idiot, MC… I'm so nervous that I'm calling the Aurora instead of his phone… I hope he is still at his bar.

- "Hello?" I hear Phil's voice echoing right after he answered. At least I know he is still there... His voice is so restful and deep. I smile just by this simple note coming from his voice.

- "Hi, I'd like to talk with Mr. Aurora", I answered the man, sounding playful as I let a small chuckle out.

- "MC" calls me, Phil, chuckling back. Oh God... You're not allowed to do that! My smile grows as I can picture him just by hearing him chuckling. It's so contagious... "Wait, before you say anything, I'm so sorry about..." He suddenly tells me which surprised me. He spoke so fast...

- "Phil, I'm not upset or mad or anything. Don't worry. It wouldn't be right of me to be upset with you anyway.", I immediately reply to the man, interrupting him. I do not want him to feel guilty or awkward about what happened. There's no need for that...

- "Why not? That girl literally shamed you and flirted with me in front of you." He tells me back, sounding confused as to why I am not angry. I mean… I guess there's reason to be upset but not angry. But are they worth being said out loud right now? I'm not sure...

- "Well, one, you're free to have whatever kind of relationship you want. I don't have a word to say about that. And two, we're not together so I don't see why it should matter." I answer to Jessy's brother which didn't sound that harsh in my head. I close my eyes and hit my face with my hand. Why did I say that? He's going to think I am not in for something with him or that I might have moved on from trying something with him. But then, do I want something with him? Am I ready to be in a relationship with Phil despite the kind of man he is? I mean, he can change… Right? Well, he already changed, right? For a moment, a dead silence takes place in the phone call. "Are you still there?" I ask Phil, my voice sounding faint compared to before.

- "Yeah, yeah... I was just deep in thoughts." He responds to me, sounding… Hurt? Disappointed? Maybe both... I couldn't tell. I let a quiet sigh out as I feel my heart beating so strongly down my chest. I need to know… Even if it scares me, even if it might not pleasure me to hear what he is going to say, I need to know.

- "Can I ask you something?" I gently demand to the boy.

- "Of course, Gorgeous" he answers softly. And the deepness of his voice is just so amazing to hear...

- "Are you being serious about... I mean... Are you really trying to... Do you really…" I sigh again but louder this time. How is he supposed to understand what I want to ask him if I can't put three words in a row? "I'm sorry, I don't know how to formulate my question." I tell him as I lightly shake my head. I'm such an idiot...

- "You want to know if I am playing with you or not?" He tells me as if he just read my thoughts. Oh... Am I this obvious?

- "Yeah. It's just... I'm having a hard time to believe that you actually want something with me. I mean... It's just easier to think that you want something from me than with me. Especially when I see the kind of girls you liked before…" I confess to the boy, telling him my worries all while hoping it doesn't make him step away from me. I don't want to lose him because I worry to much or don't open easily to him... I just need time.

- "I never said I liked them, MC." He calmly answers before hearing him blowing some smoke.

- "But you must have felt something for them, otherwise, you wouldn't have wanted a night with them." I reply to him with an unsure tone.

- "It was just physical attraction, nothing more. It's different from you. With you, it's not just the attraction, it's... It's the spark that I don't have with the others." He tells me sincerely and seriously, always sounding so calm but so sincere at the same time. I hum as I look down. I want to believe him… And maybe I do actually. But there's always this lack of confidence in me that brings me to my rational side. "I told you, MC, and I'll say it again. I love you. Now, I know what you think about me and I know what people say about me. But I don't care. And I care even less of those chicks. I only care about you." He admits to me with the same tone as before, sounding lightly desperate for me to believe him. I care about you too, Phil… More than you think, more than I certainly should. I stay quiet as I meditate on everything happening right now. There is a lot to think about. Suddenly, I hear a light sigh coming from Phil. "MC, do you trust me?" He suddenly asks me. Oh… Well...

- "Of course, Phil." I answer instantly, nodding positively even though he doesn't see me.

- "Then trust me when I say that I'll be ready to change things from me to be with you." He confesses seriously before blowing some smoke again. Change… But I don't want him to change...

- "I don't want you to change anything from you. I just... I'm just not confident enough." I tell and confess to the boy, admit my lack of confidence to him. It actually feels weird… Why am I telling him that?

- "If you let me, I'll prove to you that I really love you and that I'm not trying to play around with you. But I'll only do it if you want me to give you that proof. I'll never force you to do anything. It's your call." He says seriously and sincerely, letting me all the cards in my hands. It's my call… I smile, unable to stop it. Why do I smile in a moment like this one? How can he make me smile in a conversation like this one?

- "You're charming." I tell him which makes the boy chuckle. "I didn't give you your hug." I recall, sounding like I am kind of excusing myself to him.

- "I know. It broke my little heart." He says jokingly even though I could hear he was serious in a way. I giggle at his answer despite being sorry. "Maybe you could give it to me tomorrow night, Gorgeous." He suggests before a small pause takes place in the conversation. "Huh, you're coming to Jessy's birthday tomorrow night, right?" He asks me with an unsure tone.

- "Yes, why wouldn't I?" I demand him back, sounding confused.

- “When are your uncle's funerals?” he questions me, ignoring my questions. The funerals…? Why is he asking about that?

- “Huh... Tomorrow morning.” I begin to answer when something just comes up in my mind. Of course... “Oh, I get it. You think I shouldn't go or I wouldn't want to go to the party?” I tell him, sounding like I have just read his mind this time.

- “Well, I just thought you would have preferred to be alone, maybe? That you wouldn't be in the mood for a party.” He responds so gently and so calmly, clearly caring about my emotions. I could hear how much he cares for me just by the sound of his voice. It’s crazy…!

- “Well, I will certainly be down but, I'd rather be with my friends than alone at home, especially in a time like this one. It's not…” I let a small sigh out. “It’s not good to stay alone. And my uncle wouldn't want me to stay by myself anyway, so…” I reply to the man I have been having a crush on for so long. The pain was heard in my voice.

- “Well, you can call or send me a message if you need to talk, okay? Anytime. I'll be there for you, MC.” He answers sincerely and seriously, showing me his support.

- “Thanks, Phil. That means a lot.” I tell sincerely to the boy, cracking a smile. That warmed my heart.

- “I'm sorry but I'm going to have to hang up, Gorgeous. I need to do the closing.” He says with a disappointed tone towards himself because he needs to hang up. Oh already...

- “Sure, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.” I tell him as I smile like an idiot. Again... Thank God he cannot see me...

- “See you, Gorgeous. Goodnight.” He wishes me back, letting a soft chuckle out. Oh… I keep a smile over my face and hang up. Why did I fall for an idiot like him?

~ Next day, morning ~

Next morning, I wake up and do my little ritual before getting ready. I out on a black dress with black heels but don't bother putting on the small amount of make up I usually wear. It's not necessary, I will ruin it with my cries anyway... Mom is waiting for me at her home. I told her I would pick her up before going to the funeral. I know mom is strong but I’m not sure she’ll be able to drive after the funeral. And to be fair, I’m not sure I will be able myself, but I’ll try… I have to be there for her, firstly, then myself.

~ A few hours later ~

I feel so strange. I feel like a piece of me was ripped and is missing, but at the same time, I feel relieved. I mean… I feel like my uncle is finally resting in peace and I can try to move on, live my life like he would want me to do. Though, I just can’t stop thinking about him… I want to turn the page but I'm also scared to forget him at the same time which isn't a good match. When I saw the white flowers set for my uncle's funeral, I was just so happy. They looked amazing. I just wished I could have bought those flowers for another and more joyful reason though... Anyway, maybe Phil was right to worry if I would come or not to Jessy’s birthday party tonight. I really don’t feel in the mood right now… And certainly not later either…

After dropping my mother at her home, I stayed for a moment with her. I just needed to make sure she'll be okay. And I also needed to be with my mom. I needed my mom. Anyway, I am finally on my way back home as Jessy won’t be long now. I park my car and walk up toward my little apartment. Oh… I’ve got a message.

- “Hey, MC, I’m sorry but I have to go help Cleo with something so I don’t think I’ll be able to make it in time at your home. Can we meet up at the Aurora, instead?” I read her text message which was sent an hour and a little more ago. I completely forgot to pour the sound back on so I didn't hear any of the notifications I received. "I keep my phone close to me though. So if you need to talk, I'll be there." I read her second message. A small smile comes over my lips.

- “Of course, Jessy, no problem. I’ll see you there.” I simply respond to her message as I don’t want to bother my mind right now. I don't want to talk. I guess I’ll get the chance to rest a bit before going to the party. Maybe I’ll be a little more motivated to go there after…

A few hours later, I am on my way to the Aurora to go meet up with the others. Well, I'll probably be the first one since I always come early. There’s a part of me wishing I could actually be home, lying on my sofa in front of the TV, and do nothing, and the other part is telling me, “is Phil alone right now? Will I have a heart to heart moment with him?”. Yes… I think… Yeah, I think I want to tell him that I want to give him a chance if he is really willing to have something serious. I don’t know if it is the right thing to do or not but, I need to… Live. I need to try new things. I need to challenge myself. Telling my emotions to him, how I feel about him, it’s something new. It’s just so hard to talk about how I feel most of the time. Especially saying my feelings to the boy I have a crush on since… A while now.

The streets are enveloped by the darkness of the night, but the streetlights bring some light to them. Thankfully, it's a calm night without any rain pouring down.

- “Hey!!” I hear a familiar voice screaming in my back. Not so calm now... Though the voice sounded… Off. It was a man for sure, but the person didn’t sound very "fine". He talked quite slower than a normal person would do normally and he half chew over his words. Is he drunk? I continue my way, ignoring the man. That's the best thing to do... “Hey, MC, is that you?” What? Who...? I turn quickly around to just give a glance at the person, but I don’t stop walking. Oh… My boss…? What is he doing here? “Whatever. Why don’t you come see your favorite boss, Baby Girl? You could be surprised by me.” He says in a drunk way as he points at me with a bottle. Oh… Huh… I didn't see it before. Hell no! I clear my throat, feeling uncomfortable and scared. I…

Without thinking further, I start to run away from him as I know the Aurora isn’t far from here now. It’s just a couple street corners away… I run as fast as I can, hoping to lose him. Which some chances, he is too drunk to actually run after me. Well, he did still seemed a little bit himself despite the alcohol... There! I can see the colorful light from the bar lightening the street. Please, be there.... Alone or with someone, I don’t care…. Just be there. I rush inside the Aurora and immediately close the door behind me before sticking my back against the door. I thought I was going to make a fool out of myself in front of people, but it’s empty… Though, Phil is standing behind the counter, cleaning some glasses. Breathless, I quickly lock the door and step away from it as I walk backward towards the counter.

- “Gorg…” I hear Phil calling me with his lovely voice. Though, it was quick to faint. “Did you just close my bar?” He asks me with a confused tone as he points at the door. I look up at him, fear flashing over my face. Wow, I didn’t think I was this scared actually... “MC, what's wrong?” He asks me right away with concern while walking around the counter to join my sides.

- “Phil, he's following me.” I tell him rapidly and out of breath as I walk towards him to meet him midway. Wow, I… I didn’t even control myself. It’s like my body just talked for myself, walked over to him, needing to feel this protecting feeling.

- “Wow, calm down. What are you talking about? Who's follow you?” He says calmly and seriously as his hands come grabbing my shoulders. Oh… I stare into his eyes, reading the calmness in them. Though, I can read the concern in them. Suddenly, there’s a loud thud coming from outside which made me jump and gasp, breaking eye contact with Phil. I turned around and found my boss standing outside, still holding his bottle in one hand. He managed to get here without falling? Oh God... Seriously?!

- “MC, bring your sweet little ass outside before I fire you!” I hear him yelling in the middle of the street which made me take a step back. Even with a wall and a locked door separating us, he still scares me. Phil grabs my wrist as he takes a step forward, shielding my body with his.

- “He's drunk and clearly worse than when he's sober…” I inform to the man as we notice that my boss is trying to get inside Phil’s bar. Please, don't break anything here... “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him to your bar but…” I rapidly apologize to Phil, shaking my head negatively as I dance on my feet. I shouldn't have come here...

- “Hey, it's okay. I'm glad you actually found your way here." He tells me reassuringly and so calmly. "Stay here. It's okay.” He tells me with the same comforting tone while motioning me to not move. Huh… What is he doing? Phil goes to the front door, looking so upset. He unlocks it and opens it before stepping outside. Though, he makes sure to close it back behind him. “What can I do for you, sir?” I hear him asking seriously to the drunk man. It’s faint, but I can still hear their voices.

- “You?” Says, my boss, while rudely pointing at Phil with the bottle and frowning confused. “You work here?” He tells him with surprise as if Phil wouldn't be able or wouldn't be smart enough to work here.

- “I even own the place.” answers, Phil, crossing his arms over his chest.

- “Right... Look, I'm not goin' to bother you 'ny longer. Just tell me where the little wh**e is?” Then asks, my drunk boss, half screaming in the middle of street. I'm actually pretty sure he doesn't notice that he talks so loudly. Wow... He definitely doesn't know what pet names are...

- “Excuse me?” Questions, Phil, sounding very unpleased and like he heard him wrong. Though, I can tell that it is making his blood boiling.

- “Don't play dumb, boy. Where's she? She and I nee' to talk. If you know what I mean.” I hear my boss saying before he smirks, looking hungry for… Ugh! He’s such a pig! Knowing the thought he must have with me, I grimace with disgust. “She seems like a good little b**ch waiting to be f***ed.” He says before starting to laugh drunkenly. I knew he wasn't nice, but I never thought he had such a disgusting side...

- “Mmh... You see, I deal with clients all day long and I noticed that there are three different types. First one is the nice ones. The ones who come enjoy a drink or two and then go. Then, there are the annoying ones. They take a few drinks and start talking very loudly and getting a little bit out of line but it's still correct in a way. Finally, there are the ones that get to another level which is disrespect and being rude. Unfortunately, that happens to make me angry. Sadly, you're there right now. So I suggest you turn around and walk away while you can.” Replies politely and professionally, Phil, trying not to lose his cool despite the anger rising more and more. I know it. I see it. Just by the sight of the vein popping in his neck and the way he firmly closes his fists… His knuckles look so white...

- “Are you threatening me, boy?” questions, my boss, trying to play tough despite the fact that he struggles to stay still on his two feet.

- “No, It's just a "friendly" advice from one boss to another. Be smart. Take it. Turn around and walk away.” He tells him seriously, trying to make the man go away before it goes too far. I just hope he isn’t as stubborn as he is when he is sober… I stare at them from inside the bar, frowning with concern. This situation makes me so nervous. My boss is clearly unpleased by Phil’s words. Suddenly, the man starts screaming and draws his bottle towards Phil. Oh! The owner of the bar dodges the hit in time and pushes my boss against the wall behind him. The man is face first, kept pushed against the wall. “If you don't leave right now, I'll call the police! Want to think again?” Warns seriously and firmly, Phil, frowning with anger. Though, I can tell he is struggling to keep his anger in him. I have rarely seen Phil this mad… Honestly, it’s scary. Suddenly, my boss makes a rough move backward, his bottle hitting Phil’s ribcage. Oh! I gasp as I saw Phil bending over. My boss turns around and tries to hit Phil in the face with the bottle. Well, he isn’t as drunk as I thought… Phil steps back in time before punching him in the face. I gasp in surprise. I never saw Phil fighting before. My boss lands flat on his belly, the bottle rolling on the sidewalk. Though, he comes back up, helping himself with the wall. I can’t just watch them fight like this… I can’t watch Phil getting hurt because of me… My boss grabs Phil by the collar and pulls him before pushing him against the wall. He still has a certain strength... Though, Phil instantly pushes him back. I can’t...

- “Stop it! Now!” I scream after rapidly stepping out of the bar. I come in between the two men and separate them, forgetting what my boss could actually do. I push the drunk man away from Phil, making him stumble backwards before he catches himself on a car. Meanwhile, I place my hands on Phil’s chest as I felt him going for him. Hell no…! Enough! “Phil. Ph... Phil!” I call the boy as he tries to walk past me to get to the man. He's not angry, he's raging. Though, when I called him, imploring for him to look down at me, he stopped. His eyes met mines and softness instantly drowned them. “Stop, please. Don't enter his game.” I plead him seriously as I weakly nod.

- “I'm not letting that pig talk about you or treat you that way!” He replies with anger, looking back with dark eyes at the drunk man standing behind me. Phil takes a step forward, but again, I stop him, getting before him as I keep my hands on his chest.

- “Phil, look at me. Look at me!” I tell him seriously as I bring one hand to his cheek. Why am I doing this? Why does this feel so… Normal and right? Just with my hand on his cheek, I can feel how much the anger is boiling inside of him. I force him to look down at me. “Calm down, please.” I demand him softly, our eyes connecting a second time. The man stares at me displeased for a moment before letting a sigh out. Please, don’t do it… I didn’t notice, but I’m actually running my thumb on his cheek, as if the hope of him to calm him down will be by this simple gesture.

- “Are you going to make out now? Because I'd rather live the show than to watch it.” Comments, my boss. Gross… Disgusting… Repulsive… I slowly turn around to face the man as I stay before Phil. He is smirking as he looks at my body up and down. I’ve never felt so bad and embarrassed before. Like… He hasn’t done anything to me, but just the way he looks at me makes me feel dirtied.

- “Well, I'm going to make it easy for you, sir. I'm done. I quit. I'll come pick up my stuff tomorrow even though it isn't much.” I tell him with seriousness while frowning madly. I have to end this. My boss stares at me with a frown, processing my words.

- “You can't quit! You're working for me!” He screams back at me, half chewing on his words. As if...

- “Yes, I can!” I scream back at him which surprises him. Yeah, he must not be used to someone replying to him or going against him... “And if that doesn't please you, it's still going to be the same. I'm done being mistreated by you and by most of your clients. And if you can't accept that, maybe the police can help you like the idea. I'm sure I have enough to say against you.” I tell him with a reminding tone, raising my voice lightly but not as loud as he talks to me and keeping that firm tone. I don’t know where this confidence comes from, but it feels… Powerful. Maybe because I know Phil is here and has my back? I don’t know… My boss stares at us two so madly before he looks away. “Oh, and by the way, you owe me at least 4.000$ of pay for all the extra hours I did. I better have them soon if you don't want this to go to justice.” I remind him seriously, pointing at him with my finger. I feel like a tea pot. Everything I've been wanting to say to him, I say them.

- “You were i'competent 'nyway. 'nable to do one thing righ'. I won't be losing much.” He replies at me with a mad tone, almost looking relieved that I’m quitting. I watch him dancing on his feet, almost tripping over his own feet.

- “Exactly, and you were bringing absolutely nothing to me so it looks like we're both winning. Me a little more.” I answer to the man, keeping my firm and mad tone against him. Without saying another word, my boss just scoffs before he turns around to leave. Oh… First time he actually backs down in front of someone… Anyway, he'll far away now. I turn around to look back at Phil, watching him holding his ribs. Oh… “Oh God, are you okay?” I demand him with a worried tone as I try to hide my guilt. It’s because of me if he is hurt...

- “Yeah... He wasn't as drunk as I thought.” Answers, Phil, looking down at me with a light frown. Though, it is not a mad frown or else, he seems more.... Worried or concerned. But relieved at the same time, weirdly… I frown sadly before I look down at his free hand.

- “Come with me.” I tell him gently while taking his hand in mine. “Let me help you” I tell him while helping him get inside. Well… I’m not sure he needs help but still, I just feel the need to help him. He literally saved me from my boss.

- "Thanks, Gorgeous”, he says as he lets me lead him back to the bar. I close the door behind Phil and let him take place on a chair. While sitting, I hear him groaning lightly before he clears his throat, as if he didn’t want me to hear him in pain. Right, I should get him some ice. I walk over to the counter and go behind it. So it should be… Here! “You even know where ice is.” He tells me with an impressed tone as he lets a small chuckle out. How does he know I looked for that? That chuckle… It’ll be my death.

- “I've watched you worked behind that bar countless times. It's not hard to guess where the stuff is.” I respond to the boy as I come back to him, holding a cloth with ice in it. “Let me…” I tell him while sitting across from him. I gently and lightly lift his shirt up just to see if it has bruised or not yet. It’s starting to get bruised... I let a guilty sigh out before pulling his shirt back down. I place the cloth over it and delicately press on it. Phil lightly winces because of the pain and the cold touching his skin as he looks away. “I'm sorry. I didn't…” I begin to apologize to the man as I avoid his eyes.

- “It's okay.” he interrupts me as I feel him looking at him. I know he is. “It's not your fault. And at least I know you won't see that dick anymore.” he says with a satisfied and relieved tone.

- “Honestly, it feels like I just threw an enormous weight off my shoulders. It feels good. Thanks to you.” I admit to the man I have been crushing on for so long as I let a small smile appear on my face. He smiles back while weakly nodding.

- “What are you going to do now?” He asks me with curiosity.

- “Look for another job.” I simply answer.

- “My offer is still on, you know?” He tells me with a reminding tone. Oh… I looked up in his eyes for the first time since I’ve been holding the cloth with the ice on his wound. His offer… Working here... “If you want to work here while you look somewhere else, I'll be glad to have you here. I know you still need to pay for your college so…” He says with his calm and deep voice. How can he be so calm so easily, especially after what just happened outside his bar? My smile grows before I actually softly laugh.

- “Your job sucks so much that you're desperate for a constant distraction?” I ask sarcastically, joking around. Phil smiles and softly laughs back to my comment.

- “What can I say, I'd like to have a beautiful woman working with me. Especially you.” he answers, which makes my cheeks burn instantly. You player… I bite my lower lip without controlling myself and look up in his eyes. They are burning with flames of… Of… Such a strong emotion… Feeling. God, I love him… And those eyes that he is giving me aren’t helping at all…

- “When can I start then?” I demand him, not really knowing how I managed to ask him this without mumbling or stuttering.

- “Monday?” he proposes to me. Huh?

- “Monday... In four days?” I ask him, frowning confused after thinking for a second.

- “You deserve a little break, Gorgeous, don't you think?” He tells me seriously and so gently. He’s just so sweet and caring… I mean, he clearly wants to show who the boss is here because it is his bar, but… His calm personality and the way he behaves most of the time just seem to hide his true self. I mean, Phil is Phil and his words are sometimes raw, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think otherwise. I nod to the boy before looking down. I feel so nervous suddenly. My heart is racing like never before and I can’t take this idiotic smile off my face. What has he done to me, seriously? Suddenly, Phil gently pushes my hand and the ice from his chest and starts to get up. What…? Where is he going? What is he going to do?

- “Wait, I…” I suddenly say, grabbing his wrist. What just took me? Why did I…? I’m such a fool. And such a nervous wreck right now. I avoid his look, staring at the floor. “There's... Hum…” I have to tell him. I can’t back down anymore. I can’t flee my own feelings either anymore.

- “Are you nervous?” He asks me with a smirk while sitting back down on the chair across from me. Oh...

- “No, I... Yeah. I'm... I'm a nervous wreck right now actually. It's just... I…” I confessed to him, sounding as if I even struggle to breath now. God, I’m such an idiot, why am I stuttering like this in front of him?

- “Am I making you this nervous, Gorgeous?” He asks me in a whisper with his deep voice while slowly getting closer to my face. Oh… I don’t move as my eyes just fall on his lips. They look so soft. My breathing gets heavier instantly. I can’t look at him… I close my eyes as I breath heavily.

- “Actually... Yes…” I admit. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes again as Phil didn’t say a word. The boy has his eyes devouring my lips as the fire in them seems to have grown. “Phil, I…” I begin to whisper, trying to find the courage to say the words.

- “Phil, what? What do you want, Gorgeous?” He asks me with the same deep and calm whisper which makes me even more nervous.

- “Phil…” I whisper his name as I lock my eyes with his. They’re just so beautiful and he is just so close to me... Phil hums with his deep voice as he lightly wets his lips. Oh my… The man gets closer and closer so slowly until his forehead connects with mine. I close my eyes, enjoying how close we are right now. I can’t explain what I feel inside right now, but it’s a total mess. There are butterflies, fireworks… It’s a crazy feeling. Phil brings his hand to my cheek which feels so soft and so right. None of us move. None of us say a word. Nothing breaks this moment. I bring my hand over his, wanting him to hold me. Then, as the two of us are plunged in a deep silence, Phil suddenly pecks my lips. He… Kissed me. His lips are just so warm and soft and the kiss is so delicate. Simple but delicate. Phil pulls away from my lips and disconnects our foreheads. Though, he keeps a really, really small distance. Our eyes connect once more but none of us say a word. There’s no need. His eyes are talking for himself. He just wants to make sure I’m okay with this… I smile with happiness as I bring my hand to his neck and pull him back in for a kiss. What’s happening to me? I don’t know. I would have never done this before. I’m too shy for that. But it just feels so right, right now. Phil answers to my kiss instantly, giving the same softness and warmth than before. It’s more passionate though… The boy grabs my hands and pulls me closer to him as he rests completely on his chair. I let him guide me and sit on his lap, never breaking the kiss. Phil holds me, one hand in my back, the other on my thigh as the kiss becomes quickly heated. Suddenly, he pulls away from the kiss but only to go down my jaw and then my neck. I close my eyes and let my head lean to the side to give him more room. This feeling is just amazing! However, Phil suddenly stops kissing me, sounding just as breathless as I am.

- “Sorry, sorry... I just... We should stop before it's too... Heated. I told you, I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do now and…” He tells me out of breath and with seriousness. I look at him, noticing that he's really not playing. Especially because he stopped before going too far. This proves one more time that he really wants to try this relationship. I smile, feeling just so lucky at this moment.

- “I love you, too.” I whisper to the boy which made him look at me with surprise. He said it so many times to me but I’ve never said it back before. I never dare. I was so scared and so shy. I lean in and give him a new soft and warm kiss before taking him into my arms and letting my head in the crook of his neck. His scent is lovely. I can tell that Phil was surprised at first, but he didn’t put long to hug me back. Jessy’s brother holds me tightly, hiding his head in my neck as well, smelling my perfume. “I love you, Phil.” I whisper one more time.

- “If I knew I needed to fight with your crappy boss to hear you say it…” He says playfully which makes me softly laugh.

- “Well, actually, I was going to tell it to you tonight, anyway. I figured... I can't deny or lie about it anymore so... And I need to live my life as well, take it in my own hands... And you did prove that you want something serious with me so…” I respond to the man sincerely. I can feel my nervousness slowly fading away as I feel more and more comfortable with him. I mean, how could you not? I was starting to pull away from the hug when Phil stopped me. Oh… The man kisses my cheek delicately before kissing my lips one more time. I smile and look at him in the eyes. “Just don't break me, Phil…” I demand him, softly whispering.

- “Oh, I won't. Trust me, Gorgeous. I've been wanting you for a while now. I did lots of things to prove to you that I love you. Things I’ve never done before. The idea of me hurting you is painful. And I think that if I ever hurt you, I'll probably have all Duskwood after me.” He replies seriously to me before chuckling playfully. I chuckle back, amused.

- “Oh, I'm not sure I know that many people but... Yeah, most likely.” I answer jokingly, entering his game. The two of us laugh one more time. His smile is just so contagious. I give him one last kiss before standing up from his lap.

- “Where are you going?” He asks me, sounding disappointed that I got up from his lap.

- “The others are going to arrive soon. I don't really want them to see me taking you for a chair.” I respond with sarcasm to the man as I walk over to the bar to sit on a stool.

- “Well, I don't mind, Gorgeous. Having you sitting on my lap is kind of... Sexy.” he says with his deep voice, looking at me up and down with a smirk. I hum as I notice how hungry he actually looks. Oh boy, he’s been waiting, hasn’t he?

- “You're a naughty little devil, you know that?” I tell him while giggling.

- “Yep, but only for you, Gorgeous.” He replies with a charming tone. I place my hand over my heart before laughing.

- “Phil!” I call him through my laugh.

- “Yes, Gorgeous?” he calls me, using the same charming tone mixed with the deepness of his voice. I laugh again as my cheeks are burning. “So, are we together, MC?” He asks me more seriously.

- “Well, no.” I answer to the boy which makes him frown, confused and disappointed. “What? Don't look at me like that. Technically, we just had a... A... Very unexpected heated moment. But you never asked me out, did you?” I remind him playfully, winking at the boy. Phil laughs to my answer, understanding where I'm getting at.

- “MC, would you like to be my girlfriend?” He asks me with seriousness, yet, having the most beautiful and charming smile over his face.

- “I don't know. Give me a good reason to say “yes”.” I answer playfully. Without waiting, Phil stands up from the chair and lifts his shirt, showing me his abs. I laugh and blush while bitting my lower lip. "Definitely getting there", I tell him as I’m actually devouring his body with my eyes. Seriously, what has he done to me? Phil chuckles as he approaches me. One of his hands goes in my back while the other one passes softly in my hair, pushing it back before placing it on my cheek.

- “You're definitely going to make me a fool for you, Gorgeous.” he whispers softly and lovingly.

- “Not my plan.” I answer playfully while smiling happily. Phil smiles back to me before he slides his hand in my back, holding me against him tightly. I feel him kissing my neck again while he runs his hand in my back. I just feel so comfortable in his arms, so protected.

- “I love you.” He tells me sincerely and with love in his voice.

- “I love you.” I repeat his words with the same tone he used while literally melting in his embrace.

I was a fool for him. He was a fool for me. I was just too shy and he was another man. A lot has changed lately in my life, but this is the best thing I could dream of.

[leofiat-bunny]

DSN Ep 5 Liveblog

I have been very good and not spoilt myself or tried to watch it on my phone: no tumblr, no youtube, barely any twitter (nothing even vaguely related to the series).

So. It may as well be Friday (+ 22hrs 50mins)

All in one post so I don't see something I shouldn't before I finish.

PART 1

Wow. I got the order on this ALL wrong didn't I? 😂

Yeah, I think "don't mention Leon" went through Leo's head there, and that was the reason for the hesitation.

Even the title knows your plan is lousy Leon!

What completely random book did he end up with then?

Yes, because it was the cat who brought you the ice and umbrella. You should have gone with "It's a thank you for being cute. For Pobjer."

Yeah, if I disturbed quiet like that I would also drop the volume way lower than pre-interuption. 😳

... How can you be that stupid? Like, you've heard him slut-shaming you, how can you think this is a ploy?

At least you snapped out of it quickly.

I think we're supposed to be "aw, cute 😍" instead I'm "aw, that poor cat 😥". I was so gratful when Pob put the poor thing down (is it a she or he?)

I totally headcanon their parents as a Gomez and Morticia pair. This is feeding into that perfectly.

You can just imagine baby Leon begging their parents and their dad - whom Leo apparently takes after - absolutely refusing because his wife! Then Leon does what he always does when his parents deny him: he turns to Leo. Except Leo says no too! Because Fiat of course. 🤣

Aww, of course they did. That's legit cute. I wonder if they teamed up or independently came to the same solution? Probably the former based on how he said it, but I like the thought of the latter. (And it could be that but Leon never knew it.)

Does Smart have a slight lisp, or a non-standard (not "tv Thai") accent? It could just be different vocab, or I could be making it up entirely, but his speech sounds slightly different to me?

So do we find out first or are we left in suspense too?

Yeah, figures.

Well, I guess he doesn't need to play "he loves me/loves me not", so he has to find a different question to pass the time. Very romantic Fiat 👍🤣

Hiding the evidence 🤣 That's coming back to haunt him shortly isn't it?

I guess it is difficult to persuade someone you'd be a good boyfriend if you're Leon and they're spending time with Leo. I agree, Leon is losing in that comparison.

They really turn into 4 year olds in each other's presence don't they 😅

PART 2

"I'm going to punish you" - how are you feeling @thequeenofsastiel?

... that was honestly a lot more explicitly d/s than I was expecting to get.

The list is always in his mind.

I think that sounds like a challenge to Leo.

So... what, they were on a completely random walk? What? Also, why is it dark while people are wandering around in uniform? The shortest day is 6:36 - 17:55. I'm... confused.

PART 3

I don't blame Leo one bit if he gets annoyed at Fiat for accusing him of cheating and refusing to listen to him after.

Also: 4 year olds in each other's presense, it's not even just when talking to each other.

"I know Leo's perfect, but I'm not too bad myself" did get a snort. Points for honesty? (As Leon sees it anyway)

Family business related it was, though not dimplomat related.

So was the pic outside the orphanage?

Honestly? I get Fiat's reaction at the end of that scene. When I feel guilty about something I actually did wrong I get a bit mad at someone who isn't me. (And writing this made me realise that that's only when I did something wrong. When I feel guilty just because my brain hates me, I don't get mad at other people. I am very strange. 🤨)

"Leo is Leo. Leon is Leon. We don't need to be the same." is a better way of saying what I was thinking just there. Both generally in the world we need variety but also within relationships: someone who suits one person brilliantly wouldn't suit some other person at all. (As for this contradicting what I said earlier: one's Joking Mode, the other is Serious Business.)

"I'm going to be your boyfriend" 😣 Not a fan. Obviously, he's right, but he has no reason to think as much so far.

I'm not the least bit surprised you love Fiat being jealous, but wouldn't you be upset by the displayed lack of trust? He didn't just tell Pob "hands off!" he accused you of cheating.

Ah, right, he knew Pob had been at that orphanage before Pob approached him. So it was the "not my secret to tell".

I guess if you don't count Leon, Fiat hasn't really had any opportunity to display jealousy? And, as someone who keenly feels his own history of jealousy, that might be a bit scary. Either in a "does he really care?" way or a "am I so bad for feeling this?" way.

NatsuAn crumbs.

Leon... please don't become a lawyer. Your concept of logic is somewhat... lacking.

I don't dislike them, they can be kind of cute, but I am fairly disinterested?

PART 4

How did I call this wrong? Let me count the ways... 😳🤦‍♀️

Hey Mr, we saw a place you were staying on a "summer camp". You really telling me that was self-service? 🤨

Brat who wants to be a Good Boy.

Watch a youtube video. I haven't checked but I'm sure relevant ones are out there. You don't even need to understand the speech. "Monkey see, monkey do" would help a lot.

See above x2 😂

I guess that's meant to be "you'd burn my clothes if you wore them" (you're so hot)?

Good thing Pob came out of his building for no reason, not because he was planning to go somewhere 🤨 (sorry, I know I'm much more forgiving when it comes to LeoFiat. That's favouritism for you 🤷‍♀️)

I guess now we know what the scene on the couch with Leo's mum is about now. (She has papers, it's very proper... except I'm certain the charity should have someone whose job is to have this meeting. Ah well, this is tv drama, we should expect nothing else.)

Call him out! It's not a good look to get into a fist fight before the game Leo.

Good job Rick.

It's an even worse look to get into a fist fight during a game. 🤦‍♀️

[januarystarstorm]

Oh this is going to be fun LOL. This is first anon back here again and ready to address the last anon who responded to me about the SM vs RO stuff because I'm bored tonight. 😂 Darling anon, there were no rose colored glasses on me when I brought up what I said comparing PP's behavior with SM to PP with RO. Just pure observation plus facts, that's all. Since you brought up more points, I'm interested in countering them with more facts and even a few personal thoughts of my own, if u don't mind. So here we go. (Your points are in purple btw.)

• To the first anon bringing up the promotion rafa has way more followers than SM does he doesn't actually need promotion as heavily as sm who only has a little over 4000 followers and he was trying to get his book to get numbers, it does not hurt to have someone on pedro's star quality promote it. // Lots of fans have brought this up as a reason for PP promoting SM more, but I don't buy it as being a valid explanation. Why? Just look at the promotion P has done for others in his life who have similar follower counts (and even greater than that) to RO's. Example: PP promoted Janicza Bravo and Jeremy Harris's Zola project and their Hollywood Reporter magazine cover over the past year or so. Not only did P feature them in his Insta stories, but he posted that pic of him biting the Zola screenplay book on his Insta and posted the Zola movie more than once. Now did those two people need his promotion? Not really, if you base it on the low follower argument that you're using to justify P's constant promo of SM. After all Janicza has +47K followers and Jeremy has +148K followers, which is certainly comparable to (if not more than) RO's +58K follower count...so they didn't need him to promo them. But P still did it because he clearly cherishes them as friends and their accomplishments. So similarly P could've promoted RO's LeMec or Faena work more than that one time, if P really wanted to...but funny how he's chosen not to. Point being? Seems like PP promotes and puts effort to those he truly cares about, not because they have low followers or for pure business reasons, but because he really cares. Y'all talk about how much you admire PP for being really giving and loving to those close to him. So why is it hard for some of you to believe that P might actually be putting more effort in showing SM off on Insta because that guy means much more to P than just business reasons?

• Also pedro has known sm longer even when he was ft so yeah like 2 or 3 of his family members either follow sm or have liked his post you make it out as his entire family does and that's not the case. // Oh, but those 3-4 family members of P following SM are a big deal...especially since many if not all of them only started following SM around the time PP started traveling and spending more time with SM last year. (I also noted that a few of PP's close friends followed SM too, and that happened last year as well.) And it doesn't seem like all of these people met SM personally at the time they started following him. Compare that to the time PP spent with RO. Lux was the only one who ended up following RO and that only happened after the NYC trip, when she most probably met him.

• But what I don't understand and what I keep seeing happening is how some like to erase the fact that rafa has seen p alot of times going back as far as may more so than sm has. // lol ok...this one shouldn't be hard to get, knowing what we do about RO. That guy barely broke up with his famous ex-bf months before and there's enough evidence to suggest that RO is the kind who enjoys being around certain types and living a certain lifestyle. So when someone wants a new prize, they're gonna put in hard work to try and get it, right? You should get where I'm going with this by now. But if you don't see it yet, here it is: RO probably didn't mind putting in the extra energy to fly and see P alot because he could've been hoping it might lead to something more for him later. Lots of people do more for another person they really wanna impress. Why would RO be any different here? He didn't mind following LE around either when they were still a couple. There's like a pattern going with RO here LOL.

• Now I'm not siding on either I'm just point out you cant cap for one and then completely block out the other when their on the same playing field. // After all I've seen, sorry but we'll just have to agree to disagree here. I still doubt alot that PP sees SM and RO in the same exact way. It's not even close right now.

• Even the ones who bring up Colombia that's not a win for you because he initially went to Colombia to see Cristina he didn't even go to Argentina and he had the chance to, hell SM had the chance to go to California for some time or delay his vacation to be with pedro in la and he didn't. // Sadly for you too, your reasoning about PP being in Colombia isn't a slam dunk win for you either, because we still don't know exactly why PP is visiting there. Many are assuming it's because of CU, but how does anyone really know for sure he went there for her?? Truth is we don't know right now. As for SM's reasons for not being in LA? I do have my own thoughts about that but I'll just leave them to myself. 😏

I typed alot here but I don't mind. I enjoy debates even on what others think are silly topics like this one. This was pretty fun tho lmao. 😂

Anon to anon.

I want to remind everyone that what is said in the asks are a matter of opinion and are not a statement of fact.

[goldencuffs]

First, I need to say this because... your AMAZING 💖 BEAUTIFUL. 💖 HEART-STOPPING 💖 Sugar Daddy AU created a kink in me for Sugar Daddy Damen that now I can barely fill because of how lil of this trope we have 😪 Which I think is a shame.. they have everything in them to do great with that dynamic not because of the need (money, security, etc.) but because I now Laurent enjoys being pampered and Damen enjoys spoiling the people he loves. So if you ever feel like doing something with that trope again.. well, here I AM! 👉🏼👈🏼

Okay, now that I said that.. Hi! How are you?🥰 I just read you want to talk about your fic with #dadDamen, so I thought about coming here and.. would you like something to drink first? I'm gonna get some margaritas so we can chill and talk all day/night long. Are you ready? Because I have a LOT to say 🙈 1) Laurent x Isander ?? Oh my god, yeeeesss!!! I need more of them. I think we don't write enough of them even if it's just as friends. So thank you so much... I loved it.

Let's start with the good shit 2) You went for prise kink and dirty talk, and once again, I feel like you were sent to me by the goddess of fanfic. Haha yes! Give me all the kinky things I love 💦 (señor! I came here again now that I finished and... I need to tell you that way you wrote the subtle praise kink into Laurent and Damen's dynamic is perfection. I can not wait for them to go a bit stronger with it)

3) Going back to Damen, he taking the role of House Papa and leaving Kashel to go to work? So sexy of him... Damen writing about intergalactic love? also very sexy of him (He knowing Veretian and surprising Laurent when he's saying something dirty to Damen, not thinking he would understand it? 🔥 One can only hope, but it would be súper sexy too) haha

Moving forward... 4) Laurent trying to stalk Damen and falling was hilarious, but Damen Drama King Vallis saying that Laurent liked a half-naked pic of him? Okay, sir, have you never go to the beach? (But that's not his only bit Jokaste's breakfast bowl deserves to be the name of a rock band)

And yet you then give us this 5) Damen finding THAT Twitt about Laurent ☠️ hahaha are you trying to kill me? (Tbh I don't know what to say besides that I'm waiting.. waiting for this to come back in any form 💅 )

Laurent asking for help with the climax after he said he didn't come just a few sentences before? Are you sure you are not trying to kill me? (Me coming back to this after reading the end of ch 5: oh! *In Itálics* 🤯 I have so many things to say about this so many questions, but I don't want to do this more sexual than what it already is, so I'm gonna shut up just in case)

6) "He would think Laurent was drunk not on alcohol but on Damen's praise" might be one of my fave lines... The Dom/sub undertones are beautiful! So powerful and well written (it makes me wonder how much do they realize about it and if Damen has any experience with light D/s.. also, what about Laurent? maybe just things he reads on the internet?😈)

7) do you know how almost every book/fic with age difference always has that moment when someone thinks they are son and dad? Well, your version with Stavos saying that he is happy seeing Damen back in the games it's pure gold. I hope you know it. It was funny but also refreshing 💞

8) “Why do you still call him sir? Are you scared of him?” (...) Laurent says, “No,” and then there’s the sound of a hard, wet kiss." 🧐 Maybe I am reading too much into this, but.. did Laurent get a bit turn on with/because Damen and then went and kiss Isander? This makes me think a lot about the way you are writing this Laurent so shy but also confident, eager for Damen's love, but while he still is with Isander, and I kinda love not knowing what he thinks or feels.

9) Damen planing a date for Laurent, going as far as thinking of calling Isander to tell him Laurent should eat the seafood? Laurent loving the date because it was damen's idea and getting sad when he thinks damen didn't really care? Damen, every time he simply says Laurent's name and gets him to admit what he really wants? 🥺 I shouldn't, but the tender D/s moments are so cute and sweet.

And to finish just for now, 10) that last part hurt so good! 😍😭 God! Can wait for more. I'm honestly in love with this idea, this au, this way you wrote them. And that spoiler? I want more.. actually, no, I NEED more, hahaha.

It's so beautifully written. Congrats, sweetheart, another fantastic fic. 🌈💝🌈💝

💫Please feel free to talk about anything else you want, to mention anything that I didn't, and you wish I did or even fight with me because I been getting all wrong, Haha. I would love to read you! 💫

Ps: I think that I cant wait for... Damen first time calling Laurent with any kind of pet name.🐍 Laurent finally letting go and crying into damen's arms/lap 🖤 all the praise he is going to get once Damen feels completely comfortable🍑

Have a nice week!

okay so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the best, nicest, most wonderful message ever??????? like, omg??????? im completely speechless!!!! 🥺🥰💖💖 i cant believe you dissected this story so perfectly thank you and i love you so much!!!!!!! 💖 ive been wanting to write proper praise kink so bad and im so glad you liked it so much 🥺 there's going to be so much more lol: laurent just really needs to take care of someone in this au and damen delivers!! 😋 and thank you for mentioning how sexy it is for damen to write intergalactic romance!! i agree!!!!!! idk theres something ~wholesome~ about damen writing sappy, melodramatic romance 😭

im so sorry my own message is so short but i just want to let you know the reason my response is so late is because i kept re reading this message like it was the daily newspaper 🤧 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! like so much!!! thank you, with all my heart. im in awe of your kindness!!! 🥰🥺

[moons-and-stars-and-shit]

Hii! May i ask for a slice of cake? (If you can ofc)

So im a INFP-T virgo im also 4"11 i have dark brown hair it because wayy lighter near the sun. Also dark brown eyes my hair is cut kinda like a shag like the front is cut but the back isn't (bc of my parents) my style is grunge ig? Im very inlove with fairy style Smm but because im broke i cant really fulfil my love for that style (also probably because of my parents). My body is???? Okay my boobies are medium size and no unfortunately I don't have a fat ass 😕 im not chubby but at the same time im not skinny. Like the most fat goes to my tummy I get rolls when I sit down bath blah you get my point (im pretty insecure about it lolol). One of my two main dreams is to study abroad and become an interior decorator.

I dont know how to describe my personality but I will try. My best friend always tells me that my sense of humour is downhill BAD. I would laugh at the dumbest shit ever for example i laughed one of those pixilated bugs pics with random names on the bottom 💀 also I laugh at my own trauma and stuff that shouldn't be laughed at. I kinda have anger issues 😕 I get unmotivated pretty easily. I rant to my best friend alot and she says that im ✨depressed✨ and have ✨anxiety✨ and that i need therapy. Im scared to rant to my parents because im "too young and its just my hormones". Something that I found out about myself this year is i have chill tics 😦 (from anxiety). Outside im nice and sweet but on the inside my mind is just saying other things. Im SOMETIMES cold and say what's on my mind but thats to my close ones like my mom dad or friends. I dont lie going Outside alot I think school is kinda useless. I like to draw and listen to music my fav artist are mother mother and mitski.

I hope i didn't say TOO much anyway thank youu I hope you have/had a great day :)

🍰 for @shotosimp2

Romantic Matchup

Oikawa Tooru

How yall met

Ok im ngl

Y'all had know clue who each other were

Well that's a lie

Of course you knew who Oikawa was

But you just didn't care

Now Oikawa always saw you around school

You know...in the school uniform

But one day

He saw you outside of school in all of your grunge glory

And apart of him was like bitch wtf

And the other was like ok queen i see you 😗

So he approached you and complimented your outfit

And you said thanks and then ran off to wherever you were heading

Wait

You just said thanks???

No fan girling????

Not even a blush??????

Nothing????????????

OIKAWA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

Ok he would understand that reaction if you were just a stranger on the street

But you went to school with him?

So you had to know who he was right?

Yeah my mans had a whole ass crisis because you didn't have a bigger reaction

The next day he went to Iwa and told him about his interaction with you

And he was just like not everyone was to like you ya know

Oikawa: >:o

Then Iwa had a brilliant idea

Get this

Maybe

Oikawa should BEFRIEND you before expecting you to want to talk to him

Wild theory I know

So now Oikawa had a new goal

Befriending you

It actually wasn't that hard since you both had a lot of classes together

Soon enough you guys became close friends

And oikawa was happy with just being your friend

At least...he thought he was

But everything changed when you told him you were going to study abroad for 3 months

And even though you had each others numbers

Everything without you just seemed so dull

Omg

Did he really have feelings for you?

The more time that passed by the more he was sure that he liked you

Like LIKED liked you

So the day you came back to Japan is when he confessed to you

And well you'd be lying if you said you hadn't caught feelings for him too

So you said yes

What they love about you

He loves how normal you treat him

Now hell admit when he first met you he kinda wanted you to treat him like a celebrity

Expected it even

But the more time he spent around you

The more he realized how much he liked being treated normally

Ok screw what your friend says

He loves your humor!

Yall will laugh at the dumbest shit

If we were to look at you and Oikawa's messages

85% of it would be dumb ass memes

And honestly

This boy makes jokes about his trauma too

“Hey Y/N you wanna hear a joke?”

“Sure”

“My existence”

“...”

“...”

“Ayyyyy”

“Ayyyyy”

He loves how easy it is to talk to you

Like he's told you things he hasn't even told Iwa before

And Iwa is his CHILDHOOD BESTIE

So yeah

Trust between you two

ASTRONOMICAL

What you love about them

You love how supportive he is

If you say you wanna do something

He is right behind you cheering you on

You could tell him you want to commit arson

And he'd just be like

Period queen ill bring the gasoline 💅

You can always count on this man to be in your corner

Speaking of

You can always count on oikawa period

Which is another thing that you love about him

If oikawa is anything

He is a man of his word

If he says hes gonna do something

You know he's gonna do it

He's just overall a really reliable person

You love how he just seems to motivate you to do better

Fr after you guys started dating your grades went

Partly because you felt like you needed to compete with him

But mostly because he just motivates and pushes you to do better

And if you do improve on something

He is HYPING you up

“That's my baby! I knew you could do it!”

Favorite things to do together

Yall love to just go to the store and window shop

Im sorry but yall are some broke hoes

So most of the time it's just you guys trying on clothes in the dressing room

Taking pictures of your outfits

Then leaving

Yeah the store employees kinda hate you…

But who cares what they think

And if you two do have some pocket cash you'll buy one or two things

Then blow the rest of your money on that good mall food

Cause why not

Random Hc

He makes fun of your guys height difference ALL THE TIME

But like, can you blame him????

You're not even 5 feet tall!!!

“Imagine being the size of a 10 year old, couldn't be me”

Imagine being taller than the national average height 😐, couldn't be me”

“Touche”

He let you dress him up as an E-Boy ONCE

Ngl tho he dug the eyeliner look 😗

He called you every day while you were studying abroad

He even sent you a oikawa plushie

You may or may not have sent him a video of you drowning it

When you came back to Japan he legit TACKLED you in the middle of the airport

Astrology

Virgo + Cancer

Compatibility 80%

Cancer and Virgo can have a wonderful connection and are usually brought together by sexual understanding.

The main problem of their relationship is in the possible conflict between emotional Cancer and reasonable Virgo.

If they manage to overcome this, accepting each other’s shortcomings and learning to incorporate some rationality or some emotion into their lives, they could end up in an inspiring relationship that will last for a very long time.

In a way, they complement each other as much as the heart complements the mind.

If they share a spark of love, it would be a shame to miss the opportunity for happiness just because of someone’s irrational expectations or someone’s closed heart.

If someone can help Virgo build their trust, it is their Cancer partner.

Although Cancer is a cardinal sign, they are stable by nature, especially when it comes to emotional decisions they have made.

If they have chosen Virgo to be their loving partner, they will have no reason to lie or cheat.

This behavior would only endanger their vision of a shared life and a loving family they want with the partner they chose.

This is also a reason why Cancer won’t have an initial problem with trusting Virgo.

Their convictions are stronger than their doubt.

Overall Aesthetic

Grunge Glamour ✨

Songs -

Tia tamera (Doja Cat)

Verbratem (mother mother

Literal Legend (Ayesha Erotica)

Hayloft (mother mother)

Stupid (ashnikko)

[n5md]

Cloudwalker

In our newly relaunched "Learn more about..." interviews, we switch up the continuity slightly and focus on just one release: Gimmik's Cloudwalker. Martin kindly agreed to answer a few questions to kick off what we'll refer to as v2 of the "Learn More About..." blog.

While Entre Les Chambres was the actual return of Gimmik to the public eye, Cloudwalker is more of a return to form. It is undeniably Gimmik; however, Cloudwalker treads some new ground for you. Can you shed some light on how the creative process changed from Entre Les Chambres / Deux Nouvelles and how those two albums might have influenced Cloudwalker?

Very well observed - they did influence Cloudwalker! Entre Les Chambres and Deux Nouvelles were both produced under technically limited circumstances. On top of that, I thought that no one will ever hear this material. Luckily it was not the case, and I got the chance to become a member of the n5MD family. When you produce with the idea that the material will never get released, it gives you a lot of room and space. You are not concerned about expectations. The music can flow and evolve freely. The calm nature of those albums helped that process. It was research where I experienced myself more as a witness than a composer. For me, that is a new approach. This approach was still the same when I produced Cloudwalker. That is the reason why the tracks are so diverse. Short Wave Memories and In My Family do not have anything in common, but that is the way they evolved, without me constructing anything. The most significant difference is that Cloudwalker was produced in a proper studio environment. Plus, I took a step into eurorack, which brings a very unpredictable element. And yes, that is Mutable Elements "Rings'' what you hear on In My Family. I was working on a self-generative patch with "Marbles'' when all of a sudden, the melody appeared...

I think you sent me In My Family shortly after you finished it, and it was one of the darkest days of the early pandemic; where our local government-issued curfews and such. It was the track that I needed at that moment; it brightened my day. It's very cool that the melody was a generative experiment gone right. I seem to remember you have quite a bit of the Mutable Instruments modules. Modular, to me, seems like a bit of a wormhole of experimentation. So, how do you stay focused when experimenting with new sounds and textures to bring, say, one of your Modular Nature tracks, which you have on your Youtube channel, to life.

Working with a modular system is entirely different. My approach is always a question. What will happen if I connect this with that and modulate with this? Then you start patching, and the results are entirely different from what I expected - a lot more exciting and better! In the beginning, I thought modular was about rebuilding synth voices. So I started emulating the signal-flow path of a 101 for a start. I missed the whole point of modular... A system has a life of its own and takes you to completely different places, and sometimes I do not even understand the results. (-: But that is not important. The decision to work with modular is to avoid walking down paths I have taken too many times when composing. What keeps you focused is your ear. The trick is to learn when to stop. In the beginning, I lost a lot of great patches when the result was already at 90%. When trying to reach 100%, my tweaks destroyed that patch's beauty, and I never found a way back to 90%. That happened a lot of times in the beginning. A modular system really helps to learn when to let go… (laughing). I chose Mutable Instruments because those modules are very focused on musical and harmonic results.

So, going back to Cloudwalker, how did it feel getting back to basics as far as Gimmik goes. People may not know that Entre Les Chambres and Deux Nouvelles were made for very personal listening. Care to shed a little light on those two, and more importantly, what made you want to go past those themes and bring Gimmik full circle for Cloudwalker?

Entre Les Chambres and Deux Nouvelles were NOT a conscious decision. Those were a necessity! The title Entre Les Chambres means "between two rooms", the space that is between two rooms. That is nowhere! It mirrors how I felt at that moment. There were many significant changes in my life, luckily nothing concerning my family, but still major changes. In order to cope with it all, I started making ambient tracks. It was the only thing that helped me to cope and focus again. The tracks happened by themselves. Listening to them and working on those albums was a calming experience. When they were finished, I played them to Chris, and he convinced me that he liked them. That led to the decision to make those first tapes. Later I sent them to you. Your reaction was very motivating because the music got released. With that motivation and getting back into a studio environment, the Cloudwalker tracks just poured out of me very quickly - it felt terrific to go back to the studio. My family gave me the time to work in my studio, and you and Chris gave very motivating feedback! From my perspective, this makes Cloudwalker my most important album so far, and I am very thankful for this chance! Another key element is that you gave me total freedom regarding artwork, choosing tracks, and their order. Just great!

Well, I knew going in that you know what you are doing. So I shouldn't have needed to step in and manage such details. For release prep, I'm available to take care of the details that an artist doesn't have access to or the working knowledge. You and Chris ran Toytronics, and you are a graphic artist as well, so I knew that you know the drill. If something was glaring or didn't work under the n5 stylistic umbrella, it is my job to say something, but I was pretty confident that wouldn't happen. I also know that after you completed the tracks, you took a great deal of time to get them to flow perfectly and also fit on four LP sides—your care in craft shows, and it's been great to work with you.

You brought up Chris, and there is an Abfahrt Hinwl remix on Cloudwalker, so; I'm going to ask. Are we going to hear some new Abfahrt Hinwl soon?

Thank you, as I said, that means a lot to me. And I still think that it is a fortunate situation. The AH RMX of Sailing Everest on Cloudwalker was just me, to be honest. That is why I used an abbreviation - AH. It is more a hint. It has a lot of the Abfahrt Hinwil ingredients. We tried to revive the project and realized that working over a distance via the internet does not work for either of us. The key of Abfahrt Hinwil was that we worked in the same room, at the same time, with the same equipment - listening to what the other one does - giving an immediate reaction. The most important point is communication, which has to happen immediately - you need to respond straight away, not with a delay. Today we find ourselves in two different life situations. We both would like to continue. After an online experiment, we realized it would be only possible when we visit each other and then work in the same studio. That is not possible at the moment, and Covid plays a significant role in that.

Ah, I see; Abfahrt Hinwil was you and Chris basically feeding off one another; also, there are cheques and balances, which is great to have. I completely understand why it would not be feasible to do it from a distance effectively. So, I'd like to pivot to these little builds I see on your Instagram. You recently sent me a pic of a peculiar little box that looks to be a synth. Assuming this is something you built (loving the stickering, by the way). What is this, and does it appear on Cloudwalker?

(laughing) That is a drone box handmade by a guy in Russia. Six oscillators, each one with a kill switch. Three standard range oscillators and 3 Sub. A very rough-sounding machine, great for drones. The filter sounds very nasty, just great. There is a little bit in the track Cloudwalker itself but washed out by Big Sky. The downside is that there is no midi, trigger gate, or voltage control. It is more of an experiment tool. The important parts of the track Cloudwalker have Mutable Instruments: Plaits and Tides 1, using the Sheep mode. Both outputs went into Warps, modulated by Stages. The little melody was played live on the Yamaha DX Reface, going into the Big Sky. It was all recorded live onto tape to 4 tracks to a Tascam 234. Then it was mixed the classic way, patchbay, fx, analog mixer main out to digital. 75% of the album was recorded to a Sound Devices MixPre-3 II.

It sounds like your Big Sky gets some action! Strymon makes some exceptional pedals. It seems like you can almost entirely make music out of the box if you needed to, which is excellent. So one last question: When we collaborated on the Cloudwalker one sheet text, you added something about the production tools "representing technology from 1958 to 2019," and I asked if 1958 was a type-o that needed to be corrected to 1985 when it was not. When people read that, I think they will be very curious as to what technology you utilized from that far back…

Yes, it is a great pedal, I love the sound and the fact that you get nice results very quickly.

1958- (laughing) There is an on oscilloscope from Russia, which can be seen in some of the videos on HIDDEN REALITY, and 2 vintage function generators. I got those old function generators from a close friend, he is an electronic engineer and professor for physics at a university. They got rid of all their old equipment, and he asked if I wanted to have something. He could not throw those old machines away, so he rescued them to his cellar. He changed the connections for me, so I can use them with the modular environment, using my standard patch cables. I used them a lot as modulation sources, as they can modulate extremely slow (like MI tides). But I have to admit that I got them for their looks in the first place…(laughing) - Those machines look like the machinery you see in Qs research center in old James Bond movies...

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Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: you left your headphones here, mate Jimmy: got 'em in my pocket if you wanna collect Jimmy: wouldn't subject you to Cass' interrogation tactics Jimmy: better off buying new, rich girl Janis: yeah, realized when I went to start this run Janis: already in Twix's bad books so can't have that, like Janis: drop in and get 'em in a few Jimmy: 💔 on the rocks already you two? Jimmy: gutted Jimmy: stay for breakfast if you want Janis: Are now, like Janis: How to explain with a look that you can't take her out 'cos you tryna be 🤐 tragic misunderstanding Janis: [pic of protein shake thing] 👍 Jimmy: did try & let her know my dad was in the mood to do you for dogknapping but Jimmy: she ain't the sharpest pup at the park Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Rude Janis: she got plenty of potential Jimmy: where? Janis: 🙄 Janis: she got as much as you in her right paw, like, don't be rude Jimmy: says you as you're then snide to me 👌 Jimmy: you know my smoothies are 💣 & so my future is set Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: gotta stand up for my girl ain't I Jimmy: 💪 Jimmy: who took her out? she best remember that 🥇 Janis: didn't know you cared 💕 Janis: can handle the competition okay Jimmy: nah, you'll be 💔 when she's only got 😍 for me Jimmy: especially 'cause I don't care, double blow 🎻 Janis: Scandalous Janis: hitting her up with the screenshots as we speak Jimmy: no secret, babe Jimmy: go on Janis: Poor bitch Janis: #youdeservebetterhun Jimmy: shoulda fought the law, Juliet Jimmy: reckon you'd have gotten pretty far with her before the take down Janis: Appreciate the faith Janis: but as I didn't even make it out the door without being #exposed Janis: idk Jimmy: Just by the 🐶 though? Janis: Nah, your Dad had to share how full of the joys he was this AM, like Jimmy: sorry Janis: ain't your fault Janis: and no big Jimmy: I invited you & he's my dad so as much as it can be, it is Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: just accept the apology Janis: alright Janis: might wanna tell him i'm not a prozzie though, just look like one Jimmy: did he say that? Janis: No, nah, 'course not Janis: just 👀s Jimmy: then don't be a dickhead Jimmy: he knows you're my girlfriend Janis: just joking Jimmy: funny Janis: gotta laugh Jimmy: nah Jimmy: join me in misery Janis: that bad? Jimmy: just joking Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: when you working 'til today Jimmy: 3 Jimmy: why? Janis: just working out when i can drop in to get my headphones Jimmy: I can give 'em to your sister Jimmy: she drops by at lunchtime like clockwork Janis: 😑 Janis: that would require talking to her Janis: for you and me Jimmy: I was reckoning more on a shove 'em at her & run Jimmy: gotta go on my break, soz gracie Janis: good 🍀 Janis: if she can read social cues at all she ignores them Jimmy: save me then, babe Jimmy: come yourself Janis: will do Janis: not lunchtime, obviously Janis: been summoned home anyway 🙄 Jimmy: you in the shit too? Jimmy: how #goals of us, Juliet Janis: truly Janis: it's only my dad, he ain't got no balls Jimmy: @ me in some shit to demonstrate our mutual pining like Jimmy: no way I'm allowed out until my dad's home at least Janis: figured Janis: least if you're effectively grounded no one waiting on that first date like Jimmy: he can't stop me taking the sibs & dog out but probably best if you don't show up too Janis: 👍 no problem Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you wanna keep it coupley, gonna have to be in work hours Janis: guess i got no excuse not to be there atm Janis: hmm Janis: i will show up at lunch, least we'll have a definite witness Janis: that'll keep 'em going Jimmy: they travel as a pack, we'll have 5 Jimmy: take some selfies, make a scene, go again. Easy, yeah? Janis: 🙄 such a fake bitch Jimmy: law of Leprechaun town Jimmy: got us in on it even Janis: least we're going for gold, what the fuck are you doing gracie Jimmy: least we know Mia's going for the throat Jimmy: god bless Janis: gonna have to go for yours Janis: don't take it personal Janis: no time for half-arsing it Jimmy: 💕 Janis: that's the #mood Jimmy: it'll piss my dad off too so sign me up Jimmy: more lasting you can make it, the better Janis: no amateur at either, babe Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: I remember Janis: Yeah? Janis: told ya Jimmy: you tell me a lot of things, Judith Jimmy: so chatty you Janis: 🖕 Janis: be off then Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 'til lunch my love Janis: 💘 Janis: you know the deal, have something not shit waiting for me Jimmy: I'm already there, baby 💕 Janis: 😏 dickhead Jimmy: do you want food or you just gonna snack on me like you're channeling a mia move? Janis: she's not inspiration or goals Janis: can't have her reckoning that, ever Jimmy: #thinspo Janis: 😂 Janis: get me a bacon sarnie to fuck her off Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: nowt sexy bout that but I'll 😍 best I can Janis: how rude Janis: what you want me to order, like u got anything phallic on the menu lads Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: you'll have a straw with your smoothie, it's fine Janis: I've been forced to endure many a teeny romcom, it's fine Janis: know what to do, boy Jimmy: weren't doubting Jimmy: easy for you anyway, what am I gonna do? lick out a coffee lid suggestively? nah Janis: please do Janis: need a good laugh Jimmy: piss off Janis: still think you're cute, don't worry baby Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: shut up Jimmy: save it for when you can make me Jimmy: the audience will love that Janis: yeah expecting applause Jimmy: I'll take the hit when Mia throws her iced coffee Jimmy: workers comp Janis: Love that for her, if only you didn't take your coffee like a basic bitch, might have the desired effect Jimmy: only gonna make me look hotter, girl so tah Janis: who isn't about a wet t-shirt moment Jimmy: she helps me out loads for someone who reckons they're a #hater Janis: save your thanks for the acceptance speech Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: not gonna thank her the way lads usually do Janis: #notliketherest is it? 😏 Jimmy: #standardsunliketherest Janis: If you say so Janis: me being your 'girlfriend' probably has 'em doubting that Jimmy: I had said it, loads Jimmy: Start listening, girl Jimmy: might stop you chatting shit for a sec Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: I heard ya Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: the manager's here Jimmy: in a bit Janis: 👍 laters Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [After] Janis: [Headphone selfie] Tah Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [Selfie to show the general disheveled state of him after that glorious PDA] Jimmy: likewise Janis: 😳 Janis: worked though Jimmy: I didn't reckon Mia's voice could get this high Janis: Ha 😂 Janis: so pressed Jimmy: their debrief is the real show Jimmy: & you're missing it Janis: Gutted 💔 Janis: gimme the play by play Jimmy: nowt you ain't heard before I'm sure Jimmy: 🎻 & 🗡 Janis: usual then Janis: sure gracie will fill me in on how much of a bitch i am no worries 🙄 Jimmy: if she don't you didn't do enough Jimmy: you'll have to come back Janis: yeah? doubt that was her shout somehow 😏 Jimmy: let me know Janis: If you think I'm letting her dictate 'round 2 you got the wrong twin Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Yeah, be sure to tell her how gutted you are about that Janis: love to get it #confirmed Jimmy: you're alright Janis: can't say i didn't try Jimmy: nobody can Jimmy: not after that display Janis: too much? Jimmy: nah Jimmy: it was spot on Janis: 🥇 Janis: no need to come back then Jimmy: unless you wanna smack Mia Jimmy: I'd be down to see that Janis: Perv Janis: and 'course I do but her bones might legit crumble and I don't need to get sued by Daddy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know babe Jimmy: more gutted I can't accidentally dump this order on the lot of 'em anyway Janis: can't even be mad Janis: #thecouplethathatestogether Janis: I legit couldn't stick another second of them Jimmy: I know babe Jimmy: A lesser ego would think you were desperate to get away from me, but not this one Janis: Thank God you're you 💘 Janis: can't be dealing with stroking egos and destroying others in one Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Love you too Janis: when will your dad forgive you/me enough Janis: wanna see twix, like Jimmy: He doesn't get back til 6.30 Jimmy: usually later Janis: so, between the hours of 6.30-6.30, she's all mine? Janis: well, share with the kids, not a total heartless cow Jimmy: yeah Janis: good to know Jimmy: not gonna stand in the way of #truelove am I? Janis: try it Jimmy: ain't got the energy today, darling Janis: 😏 Janis: oh colour me surprised Jimmy: you shouldn't be Jimmy: you know how I slept Janis: i know Janis: he was alright though once you went in with him yeah Jimmy: after a bit Janis: 👍 good stuff Janis: consolation i didn't sleep all that good either Jimmy: like I said, join me in misery Jimmy: you should drink coffee Janis: why are you trying to ruin me Jimmy: says the girl trying to kill me by any means she can Janis: You asked for it Jimmy: 😱 Jimmy: # something relevant for me 'bout that Janis: not blaming or shaming Janis: but you can't fool me, babe Janis: #youwantit Jimmy: #busted Jimmy: 😍💕 Janis: didn't know you were arty Janis: btw Jimmy: why would you? Janis: idk, feel like i shoulda guessed Janis: #softboi Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're pretty good Jimmy: now really piss off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😑 Janis: 'scuse me Janis: giving you a compliment Jimmy: save it for when you can gimme one that matters Jimmy: just doing my bit Janis: Fussy Jimmy: what? Janis: My compliment not good enough 😜 Jimmy: gimme a better one then Jimmy: 'cause that's bollocks Jimmy: it's just a doodle not even that #goals Janis: can say my standards ain't high as yours then Janis: whatever, boy Jimmy: give & you take 💔 Janis: You're prettier than you've drawn yourself Janis: happy? Jimmy: you're prettier than I've drawn you Jimmy: shit artist Janis: ugh stop Janis: 🥊 Jimmy: take the compliment, dickhead Janis: you first Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Cute Jimmy: tell me something I don't know, Jennifer Janis: Alright Janis: I wish I could come back Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: Lots of reasons Janis: they're still there, for one Jimmy: that's a point in the 'why you should' column Jimmy: don't leave me with 'em Janis: poor baby Janis: but I don't know if I can chill Jimmy: we don't chill Jimmy: so fine Janis: you gotta work Jimmy: I'm on the clock with you putting in those fake boyfriend hours Janis: but Jimmy: what? Janis: I want you Jimmy: then come back Janis: it's okay yeah Jimmy: we got interrupted last night, it's only fair we get to make up the time now Janis: it's so hard just kissing you and walking away now Jimmy: I'll be done here in a bit Jimmy: we can leave together Janis: alright Janis: they better not say shit, actually not in the mood Jimmy: I'll fake sick & you can meet me outside? Jimmy: hangover's believable Janis: where we gonna go? Jimmy: I don't know Janis: Come back to mine Jimmy: ain't there 100s of you? Janis: Yeah but rich bitch no Janis: there's places, don't worry Jimmy: alright Jimmy: but if we get interrupted again I'm fake dumping you Janis: we won't Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: where are you now? I can meet you there depending Janis: Gym Janis: had to distract myself somehow Jimmy: like I said, trying to kill ME constantly Jimmy: you're welcome for the headphones then Janis: Like I said, gotta make sure you feel it too Jimmy: you're wearing those clothes again, aren't you? Jimmy: I'll pass the news on to Mia before I go Janis: What else was I gonna wear, like Janis: sure she'll be thrilled Janis: fill in the blanks yourself though, babes Jimmy: a ballgown for all I know Jimmy: not set foot inside a gym Janis: don't let on Janis: so not #goals Janis: who they gonna take #gymselfies with Jimmy: you Jimmy: I'm ken to your barbie, Julie, basically surplus Janis: Please, I actually workout when I'm there, not stare at boys whilst also making sure I look #fit at all times pracing on the treadmill Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I can tell Janis: so 💪 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: you're really fit Janis: shh Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna talk Jimmy: I'm leaving, don't worry Janis: Good Janis: I'm done with waiting and interruptions and other people Jimmy: where am I going? Jimmy: realised I don't know where you live Janis: Ugh, middle of bloody nowhere literally Janis: Easier if you dare to step in the gym and I'll come with Jimmy: could've sent a car for me, rich girl, or a 🐎 Jimmy: but alright Janis: 🙄 we don't have horses, thank God Janis: there is a donkey if you wanna be that dickhead, very Blackpool, init? right at home Janis: [gym location] literally, down the road and do a left, you'll see all the wankers in the window benches posing Jimmy: swap you for the dog, just kick them cats out & you'll be right Jimmy: gimme a sec Janis: give you 5 mins, even as a 🚬 Jimmy: tah 💕 Jimmy: that's love Janis: it's something Janis: show you when you get here Jimmy: not what I want you to show me Jimmy: but I guess Jimmy: I'll survive Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: last night didn't help you figure it out? Janis: Got some ideas Jimmy: you'll get more Jimmy: just wait 'til I get there Janis: Inspiring Janis: thought I was meant to be the #muse Jimmy: you reckon we're a team Jimmy: I remember you saying Janis: I remember lots of things you said Janis: and everything you didn't Jimmy: won't have to repeat myself then, will I? Janis: I won't be mad if you have to repeat some things Janis: just saying Jimmy: you can do some of the exact same things too, if you want Janis: I intend to Janis: and more, better Janis: had plenty of time to think now Jimmy: just how far away is your house? I need to catch up Janis: Glad you said it 😏 Janis: like 15 on the bus 🙄 but I can tell you all about it then Janis: if I whisper, like Jimmy: 🤞 our fave grandma is there Janis: 😂 Janis: down to give her a reason to really hate Jimmy: are you even goals 'til you turn a hater into a fan? Jimmy: don't think so Janis: ew don't be tryna turn old ladies on Janis: omg, are you your ex Janis: tryna let me down gently Jimmy: there never was an ex #plot twist Jimmy: Barry is my true love Janis: damn Janis: i don't need you to be my true love though barry it's alright Jimmy: stashed the baby in the back of the CG it's why I take such long breaks Jimmy: don't even 🚬 Janis: suspiciously good with kids Janis: damn wait 'til they find out the real #tea Jimmy: 😂 Janis: imma look a fool but i hope barry isn't cheating on you, hearing that cry for help now, babe, soz 💔 Jimmy: channel it into my art, don't I? 🎻🎨 Janis: you did a good job not making me look like an old man Janis: hard to resist, I'm sure Jimmy: shoulda seen my first draft Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you do look better than I can draw you though, for real Jimmy: it ain't my preferred method or whatever Janis: yeah? Jimmy: bit rude if you don't know what is 'cause you've been spending loads of time posing for it Jimmy: means I'm shit at that too Janis: huh, no Janis: that makes perfect sense Janis: you do take a good snap Janis: also why they all thirsting, casual personal photographer 🙄 oh ladies Janis: not that you ain't fit too but you know Jimmy: we all know what the real attraction is Jimmy: keep getting more #goals me Jimmy: shame I had to be in 'em or I could've taught Mia about angles and improved her story even more Jimmy: you fucked up there, mate Jimmy: should've gone with Pete and let me film it Janis: full package, babe Janis: didn't feel like a shame, trust me Janis: though your desire to make money outta me making more and more sense #starvingartist Janis: you're the one that'll have to edit out his cum face Jimmy: hang on, you can let me know what this feels like Jimmy: [dramatic gym kiss hello] Janis: Well Jimmy: unconvincing Jimmy: [kisses her again because] Janis: Jimmy Janis: if you don't stop I'll have to start something right here Jimmy: nowt you've just said is making me want to Janis: I know Janis: Why do I want you this bad, fuck Jimmy: 💔 why wouldn't you, dickhead Janis: Shh it ain't personal Jimmy: what is it then? Jimmy: you said me Janis: I meant Janis: I don't know, this ain't exactly what I do everyday Jimmy: it should be Jimmy: you're good at it Janis: you Jimmy: us maybe Jimmy: it works Janis: Yeah Janis: that's what I mean, I think Janis: it's weird but it just does Janis: really good Jimmy: Like I said, you're weird Jimmy: 'course you like it Janis: why am i weird Jimmy: 'cause you're just Jimmy: different Jimmy: from them, from what I thought you were Jimmy: I don't know Janis: i cannot believe you thought i was one of them Janis: 😂 in what world Jimmy: not your sister, the collective them of this whole town Jimmy: you're just more like someone from before Jimmy: I can't explain it alright, shut up Janis: It's alright Janis: [Kisses him] Jimmy: we gotta go Jimmy: I can't stay here doing this and not Jimmy: I can't even finish the sentence 'cause you're like Jimmy: we just need to leave Janis: Me too Janis: Come on Janis: we just need to Janis: yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: [On bus 'cos they can't keep kissing the entire time without anything happening so reprieve] Janis: I didn't think this would happen Jimmy: why? Janis: well, you know,you were kinda a dickhead, i'm kinda a dickhead all the time Janis: this wasn't the first logical conclusion to jump to Jimmy: sort of is Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: #matchmadeinheaven Janis: 😏 when you put it in words it sounds logical Janis: grace reckoned you were using me to get to her and i knew that weren't the truth but idk Jimmy: I know what it is, you reckoned I'd be a shit kisser all big ego & worse chat Jimmy: thought you'd have to suffer through it Janis: pretty much Janis: spot on Jimmy: not the first time I've made that impression Jimmy: or proved it wrong Janis: i bet Janis: wouldn't be the first time i'd suffered through so you know Jimmy: really? Janis: 'course Janis: hasn't everyone? Jimmy: gimme names I'll put them on blast Jimmy: twitter campaign with my newly unlocked account Janis: 😂 productive Jimmy: if one is Mia especially Janis: Christ, as much as she wants to turn me so she can be vindicated in her gaybashing Janis: hell no Jimmy: her teeth could fall out & choke you Jimmy: #goals Janis: 🤢 Janis: she can't be a good lay, I don't get it Jimmy: she isn't, I can tell Jimmy: just an effortless catch Janis: yeah? guess if you ain't yourself, ideal girl Jimmy: she'll be one of those girls who just lies there Jimmy: makes you do everything & then slates you for it Janis: exactly, 'cos heaven forbid you try and chat shit back Jimmy: why is your sister friends with her? I don't get that Janis: bitches of a feather Jimmy: but when she comes in on her own she's like Jimmy: shy Jimmy: nice in a 'don't you dare look at me' way Janis: meh, she's a co-dependent Janis: always has been Jimmy: is that like a twin thing? Janis: fuck off, I don't need her Janis: see me with a Mia to chase around like a puppy? Jimmy: nah, I mean like, she needs you but you don't need her so there's Mia ready Janis: idk, maybe Janis: i think anyone can be like that, some people can't hack being alone but it probably done help that she weren't even in the womb, yeah 🙄 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: my brother & sister need me Jimmy: it's exhausting but I can't not do it Janis: they are kids though, that's excusable, like Janis: still hardwork, no doubt Jimmy: Cass ain't much younger than me though Janis: yeah but gracie has two perfectly lovely parents and an array of brothers and sisters and various fam about, if she's that arsed, know what i mean Janis: being close makes sense when its small like you gotta Janis: she don't need to be how she is on me Jimmy: I'm being a dickhead & you're being spot on Jimmy: I just want her to settle in, you know what I mean Janis: you're alright, most people think it 'cos loads of twins are freaky joined at the hip, so that's what she reckons she wants too but tough shit, you know, didn't ask to be born with her Janis: 'course Janis: it must be shit Janis: she'll be alright, it's that age where everyone's sorta stil mates, not dead separate Janis: she can hold her own Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: least my dad timed it better for them than he did for me Janis: you know Janis: parents are cunts Janis: our older sister had to do so much for us 'til she got sick of and fucked off basically Jimmy: hang on while I tweet that wisdom & @ him Jimmy: yeah he has twitter honestly Janis: cringe Janis: probs subtweeting 'bout me this morning like 👋 Jimmy: I don't reckon he knows what he's doing on it Jimmy: just wants to tell his girlfriends how relevant he stays Janis: can't really slide into someone's fucking linked in Janis: 'less it's with a business offer Jimmy: he does like to mix business and pleasure Jimmy: many an office romance Janis: 😬 Janis: always a good idea Jimmy: I told you, keeps jobs only slightly longer than he does lasses Jimmy: it's all connected, mate Janis: effort Janis: least i can ask to move seats Janis: can't be like, sack debbie from accounts bye Jimmy: don't be trying to have me expelled when school starts Janis: alright, thought you'd be buzzin' but i'll go Janis: cba Jimmy: I wanna go 'cause its bollocks not 'cause they've told me to Jimmy: more of a fuck you to my dad that way Janis: rebel with a cause okay 😍 Jimmy: I'm just saying he'd love it if I got kicked out so he can pretend he's right about what a waste of space I am Jimmy: like I don't do everything he can't be bothered to Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: seriously though Janis: that's just shitty adult speak for 'do my job for me' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I keep telling him that I reckon Bobby needs to like talk to someone or some shit but nah, I'll do the work for free Jimmy: qualified fucking child therapist me Janis: duh, got that PHD done between CG and school and full-time childcare Janis: 'cos when nothing happens, or only bad does, can blame you Janis: not deal with how some of it's likely on him Janis: and sorting it fully is, what can you do, or poor Bobby Jimmy: just worry bout him all the time 👍 Jimmy: tah dad really helpful Janis: useless, all parents are Jimmy: didn't wanna sleep in my own bed or get a decent night of it anyway Jimmy: it's fine Janis: but if you complain, you're selfish, yeah? when it ain't complaining for sake of, you just want something actually done Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: & fucked if I wanna stay with you or have you over Jimmy: how dare I Janis: how wild, a teenage boy with urges Janis: right for him though 'cos his roof and all that Jimmy: & new house new rules Jimmy: 'cause that makes sense Janis: 🙄 Janis: only stupid people would have kids, that's my theory Janis: if you had a brain, and could be sorta in change of another human, you wouldn't want to Jimmy: @ Barry next time, babe Janis: fuck you Barry, coming for your mans too and what Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: how do you do that? Jimmy: make me laugh when everything is still shit Janis: Just my renowned personality that Janis: everyone reckons, like 😏 Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause he does reckon, sorry bus peeps] Janis: Welcome Jimmy: when I don't say it that means you don't either, dickhead Janis: soz, new to this friends malarkey, like Jimmy: #friendzoned Jimmy: 💔 Janis: shut up Janis: you need reminding of what we're about to do Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: I do need to shut up & stop throwing my emotional baggage at you, very ungoals Janis: [Kisses him for the reminder and 'cos] Janis: Not to shut you up 'cos nah Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but its alright Janis: got plenty of baggage to throw at you should you ever wanna even that score Janis: but I ain't telling so far as the world is concerned we're both 🥇 Jimmy: It's like I said last night, I don't mind talking to you but not this second Jimmy: I just want Janis: What? Jimmy: just kiss me again Janis: [More] Jimmy: I'm not saying tah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 😏 Janis: Glad to hear that ain't what you say after Janis: would have been a struggle to act my way over that Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: what was it you said? Very polite very un me Janis: Something like that Jimmy: I'll try & call you by the right name though Jimmy: not let any Barry's slip out Janis: 😑 please try Janis: no convincing myself I heard you wrong Janis: ego can't hack that, like 🤷 Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🖕 Janis: could at least give me false promises now, boy Jimmy: no fake shit Jimmy: not for this Janis: deal Jimmy: [kisses her again cos yolo bitches] Janis: that was real? Janis: shit Jimmy: or how we make deals in the north, Irish girl Jimmy: figure it out Janis: 😏 as amusing as the mental image of business bro dickheads getting off with each other literal to seal a deal is Jimmy: you're welcome Jimmy: just don't think about my dad or we've got a problem Janis: no danger Janis: safe to say the feeling's mutual too Jimmy: least you'll be long rid of me before I start to look like him Jimmy: again, welcome Janis: 👍 Janis: baz can have you back Jimmy: he'll be dead Jimmy: come on Jimmy: life expectancy of 61 up north & that's if you try Janis: 😂 whoops Janis: pine then bitch Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: black's my colour anyway so sorted Janis: mhmm, buzzin' for it, I know Janis: welcome again Janis: i really fucked your neck up didn't i [touches] Jimmy: I okayed it before & during, didn't I? Janis: okayed during is an understatement but i'll allow it Janis: save your blushes Jimmy: I didn't have the blood spare for 😳 Janis: such a waste Janis: all the times you've turned me on in public Jimmy: how many? you can round up or whatever school ain't started Janis: Let me think Janis: I don't know, every time we've met up, before you've even kissed me half the time Janis: sometimes just when we've been talking like this, you're hot Jimmy: Where are we if we stop the bus and get off right now? Jimmy: 'Cause I really want to properly turn you on now you've said that Janis: Umm no neighbourhood I know, babe Janis: we've got all afternoon Janis: patience 😘 Jimmy: I'm too northern for that Janis: Excuse for everything 😏 Jimmy: if I'm gonna be dead in 40 odd years that's the only excuse I need Janis: Cheery 😉 Janis: go on then Janis: don't waste any more time, see how turned on I am now [moves hands winkwonk] Jimmy: [saucy activities ensue like I'm surprised ruster don't appear like don't steal our thunder bitch] Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ?? Janis: just practicing Janis: can't say it out loud right now Jimmy: practicing trying to kill me, yeah? alright Janis: you don't need no practice, clearly Jimmy: #muse remember Janis: you're good let's do this all day Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if I get cramp and can't sling a latte tomorrow, on your head Janis: what do i care, i don't drink 'em Janis: 😈 Jimmy: that's the most #goals thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: as far as my personal ones go Janis: the ones we're keeping off the 'gram Jimmy: yeah Janis: do need to think of a non-cringe way to hype up how good you are though, don't get it twisted ladies 😍 Jimmy: while you're thinking Jimmy: [keeps being a saucy bastard cos no chill] Janis: Oh my God Janis: please, I need to bite you some more Jimmy: shit, I've never heard you say please before Jimmy: real or fake Janis: too real, you got me polite as you want, come on or this bus is gonna hear my prettiest too Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: alright Janis: you taste so Jimmy: if its anything like how you taste then I Janis: i wish we had more time i just wanna climb on top of you and Janis: but we're about 3 stops away now Jimmy: [moves her himself 'cause he's cheeky like that] Jimmy: and what? Janis: fuck me Janis: we're gonna get in trouble Jimmy: that's the plan Jimmy: I'll get in trouble for you, it don't matter Jimmy: if anyone asks I'll just say it's all fake Janis: you feel pretty real under me right now Jimmy: you feel Jimmy: I thought I liked kissing you but this is Janis: I want it all Janis: so fucking much I didn't know I could this bad Jimmy: like you said, we've got all afternoon Janis: not long enough Janis: it's a start Jimmy: warn me if you're gonna say shit like that so I can warn everyone on this bus how I'll react Janis: Not sorry Janis: only sorry it's not School time so we could bunk and have all day without feeling bad Jimmy: excuse me while I turn it into a laugh/cry 🎭 Jimmy: don't mind me everyone, rehearsing my death scene Janis: They're all impressed, can't hide it Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: impressed by you Jimmy: you look Janis: Nah only you Jimmy: take the compliment, Janis Janis: Okay Janis: as you remembered my name, like Jimmy: I said I'd try Janis: I'm impressed by your efforts too, don't worry Janis: not gonna go unrewarded Jimmy: [kisses just because] Janis: How do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: make kissing Janis: good Jimmy: I told you, you're good at it Jimmy: I take pretend it's all me Jimmy: can't* Janis: Suppose so Janis: doesn't say much for everyone else I've kissed but maybe I was shit then Jimmy: like I said, gimme the list Jimmy: they must've been fucking it up 'cause you're Jimmy: you're just not shit Janis: thanks Janis: sorry everyone but not really, ain't that deep Jimmy: were you really surprised when we first kissed or just me Janis: No, I was like Janis: you're gonna think I'm cringe or just saying it but I didn't know it could feel like that Janis: that's why it's got me thinking on everyone else, like what the fuck lads, why were you holding out Jimmy: I get it, I didn't expect it to feel like this either Jimmy: fuck you, Barry, honestly Janis: 😂 Janis: For real Janis: like, it wasn't even 'cos I thought you'd be shit really Janis: idk Janis: weird Jimmy: I didn't think you'd be shit Jimmy: for the record Jimmy: just not into it Janis: 🤷 Oops Janis: that's what I expected and intended too, I guess, just a deal, like Janis: but Janis: just feels too good Jimmy: We've still got a deal Jimmy: only it's changed a bit Jimmy: now it includes getting to finish what I started without some dickhead interrupting me Janis: Please Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause she said please again it makes him die] Janis: [Misses stop 'cos really, has to get off at next one] Janis: That was your fault Jimmy: yours too Jimmy: I don't know the stops, girl Jimmy: you've got one job, I was doing mine Janis: Hmm well perhaps if yours wasn't distracting me you could be doing your REAL job by now 😒 Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call how you felt, go on Janis: Hush, you cannot break my concentration now Jimmy: where the fuck are we? Janis: Farm town, boyo Janis: you ever fucked in a barn before? Jimmy: how would I? Jimmy: you know where I'm from Janis: idk how adventurous your life has been Jimmy: it ain't been well travelled Jimmy: til now Janis: you're welcome for the detour Jimmy: how long 'til we're back where we need to be? Janis: Only 5 if you keep up Janis: wasn't THAT distracted, soz Jimmy: let me get some blood circulating and stop being brutal Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 👍 lets go Janis: Do your best to sneak, yeah, God knows who's about Jimmy: easy for you to say, still so quiet on that bus somehow Jimmy: like a horny mute Janis: piss off Janis: that's such an unsexy thing to call me you bastard Jimmy: calm down Jimmy: it's impressive Janis: it's just self-control Jimmy: what's it gonna take to make you lose it? Janis: Maybe you'll find out Jimmy: I will Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: if it takes me longer than this afternoon, then fine Janis: you wanna do this again Janis: not this exact scenario, detour included like Jimmy: do you? Janis: you always do that Janis: answer questions with questions Janis: sly Jimmy: that still ain't an answer from you Janis: yeah Janis: i wanna Janis: i like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: don't be weird about it Jimmy: weirder Janis: forever a dickhead Jimmy: piss off it's a compliment, how many times Janis: 😂 okay okay Janis: i get it, you like weird Janis: i like dickheads, namely you though Jimmy: bet you love yourself, you massive dickhead Jimmy: I like you & you happen to be weird, it's not a fetish or owt Janis: do actually 💪 Janis: got my own name tattooed on my arse, like Jimmy: 📷 one for the insta then Jimmy: least it'll help me remember it Janis: That's why I got it Janis: saves a conversation Jimmy: stop making me laugh Jimmy: trying to be mad at you for making us miss our stop Janis: you know you can't be mad at this face Janis: or this arse Jimmy: [kisses her and touches the booty 'cause true] Janis: See Janis: 😍 Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: can make me in a minute Jimmy: I can make you now Jimmy: if you're gonna keep on Janis: Back to being mute Janis: thought you wanted to hear some noise, contrary Jimmy: leave it out Janis: 🤐 Janis: ❓ Jimmy: [starts being saucy to try and get her to make noise] Janis: You know how much I like to win, yeah? Jimmy: as much as me Janis: Oh baby Janis: you wish 😏 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: [cranks his naughty behaviour up a notch which makes me lol like where even are you lads? calm down] Janis: You know I have to live 'round here, right Jimmy: you do, I don't Jimmy: you know how to make me stop Janis: Bastard Jimmy: just stop holding it in Janis: I don't know if I'll be able to stop if I do Jimmy: I don't want you to stop Jimmy: do you? Janis: No but Jimmy: you want everything, gimme this Jimmy: [more sauciness 'cause] Janis: [is loud, hopefully no one is about lol] Jimmy: Fuck Jimmy: you really were holding out on me, weren't you? Janis: It's just Janis: embarrassing Jimmy: It's just amazing Janis: No bullshitting? Jimmy: I said I wouldn't Janis: Okay good Jimmy: You're so hot Jimmy: how you look, feel, taste, sound Jimmy: I just want it Janis: You're Janis: I don't know why but I'm not gonna question it because I want you just as much Janis: More Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: We need to keep walking Jimmy: yeah Janis: I don't want to either but I need you to fuck me so Jimmy: It's alright, I need it too Jimmy: we can do this Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇