#regardless. love me that guy. that is all.

[theitgirlnetwork]

Earn It

Ch. 3 :

Heaven being a hot tennis (sorta) gf before she saw her (sorta) man lose:

Note: Okay, once again, thank you so much for the love you guys have shown this story. I'm really inspired by Challengers right now and think I have a lot of ideas for this story. Once again, this oc is not meant to be perfect, she is just as messy and just as young as the characters in the movie. She is a college student and will act like an (albeit messy) one. I'm very grateful for all of the replies, likes, reblogs and interaction in general. It really inspires me to see what you all think and see that people are enjoying it. Regarding the tag list, I am going to try this again, but for some reason, every time I do it seems to not work for people, so let me know if it works this time. Finally, MDNI, like for real, not playing, stay out of grown folks business, if I find out you'll be blocked. Love you all and hope you enjoy! <3

Warnings: Sexual content, strong language, slight themes of cheating(idk if it counts yet)

Taglist: @spookystitchery @anehkael @fkaams @butterflyybabe @sun2flower @holierthancunt @silkenthusiasts @wolflover384

“Holy shit.” Tashi murmurs under her breath as she climbs the cobblestone walkway to the address Heaven had given her. This was gonna be their first time hanging outside of the gym or school. Tashi knew they lived in different neighborhoods, but they share a school zone, she hadn’t realized Heaven’s family had money. The girl didn’t seem different from her. They both liked the same games, same music minus the classical that she kept playing that Tashi found herself falling asleep to recently. 

She turns and waves to her dad, trying to encourage him to pull off before she rings the doorbell, sighing as he stubbornly remains still, watching her get up to the door from his car window. 

The large, wooden door opens as some obnoxious bell rings into the house, the noise spilling outside. The sound of heels clacking gets closer and closer until the door opens revealing a woman with a stern look on her face. Her brown hair is slicked back into a bun and she’s wearing a crisp white button down shirt with pressed jeans and heels. Tashi can’t remember the last time she’d seen her own mother wear heels. She looked so…put together. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Tashi Duncan. I’m Heaven’s friend, we go to school together. She hasn’t been in school the last few days, so I have her make-up work. I called and asked her if it was okay if I dropped it off and she said yes-”

“Heaven is training right now. I can take that, and she’ll be back in school when we get back from our trip.” The woman offers a smile but otherwise quickly takes the binder from Tashi’s hands and goes to retreat into the house only to be stopped by a voice behind her.

“Mom, wait-” Out from behind the woman comes Heaven. Her skin is glistening from sweat and her hair is curling at the nape. She’s dressed in a black leotard with worn, tan ballet shoes on her feet. She smiles brightly as she sees Tashi, pulling her into a hug despite her unkempt state. “Tashi, hey, thank you.” 

Tashi is almost hesitant to hug the girl back in front of her no nonsense appearing mother, but opts to return the hug regardless, letting Heaven intertwine their fingers as she pulls back. “No problem.”

Heaven’s brown eyes scan Tashi’s own outfit and her smile drops a little. “Were you about to go play tennis? Mom, Tashi’s the best tennis player ever. She’s gonna be like Serena Williams.” 

“Is that so?”  Heaven’s mom’s brow raises as she looks down at the girl standing at her door. 

Tashi got it. It sounds like a lofty goal. Even at such a young age, Tashi was confident in her abilities. She knows what she can do. But Mrs. Whitlock had never seen her play. If she did, she’d know that Tashi Duncan is tennis. For now, Heaven stating it like it’s a fact is enough to satisfy her. “I just got back from practicing. And yes, ma’am. I’m the best.” 

Mrs. Whitlock looks impressed at that, pursing her lips and nodding in approval before nudging her own daughter. “I’d bet she’s the best because she trains. Which is what you’re supposed to be doing.” 

Heaven bites her lip, rocking on her feet, causing her shoes to make a clack sound on the floor. “Can Tashi watch?” she grabs her mom’s sleeve and pleads harder at the disapproving look on her face. “Please? She’ll help. She helps me run drills at the gym all of the time. I haven’t gotten to see any friends all week. I’ll keep practicing, mom.” Her fingers tighten around Tashi’s in a way that has her clenching back, glancing at her Dad’s car to see him climbing out, noting that he probably hadn’t expected this to take so long. “Please, mom.”

“I can help, Mrs. Whitlock.” Tashi adds. “I promise, I won’t distract her.”

After some begging, from Heaven and promises to be useful from Tashi, Mrs. Whitlock allowed them 90 minutes. As long as Heaven kept practicing while Tashi was there.

Apparently, Heaven’s dance company was putting on Sleeping Beauty and this was the first year that Heaven has been old enough to play Aurora. Tashi learned that last year Heaven had been snubbed for Cinderella and made a Season Fairy instead. In Heaven’s words, if she ‘earned Cinderella, she should’ve been Cinderella’. But this year, there was no excuse. She was a little taller, she was 13 and she wouldn’t let them take it from her. 

“Again.” Tashi says, stepping away from Heaven, folding her arms. 

If she’d thought Heaven’s family had money from outside the house, she knows they do now. Here she stood in Heaven’s ‘dance studio’. She concedes that it’s just a room with mirrors, ballet bars and wooden floors, it looked pretty damn official to her. It’s not like her parents had failed to provide. She’s a member of a tennis team, has two coaches, and frequently attends the courts in town. But to have it in her home? She’d give anything. 

“Water. Then again.” Heaven huffs, walking over to one of the mirrors and grabbing her water bottle. 

The Rose Adage. Arguably the hardest part of Sleeping Beauty the ballet. Heaven showed a video of a professional performance to Tashi and still pointed out mistakes. The dance is all about stamina and balance. As far as Tashi could tell, Heaven had mastered all of it except the last part.

The balance. 

She’s hitting every beautiful move, every pose. But the last part.  The very last part of the dance where Aurora has to rely completely on her partner to be steady enough to guide her as she’s en pointe in attitude pose. She’s essentially meant to be a figure in a music box. Heaven had done it at least 20 times since Tashi had arrived and started being her stand-in partner. 

But her leg. Her damn leg kept quivering in the last few seconds. She doesn’t fall out. She doesn’t lose her position. But her goddamn leg quivers in the turn. Tashi sees it. She sees it. 

Neither of them are satisfied.

“Talk to me about something else. I’m getting annoyed.” Heaven says, taking a deep swig of her drink. She hands the bottle to Tashi, leaving the mouthpiece up for the other girl to get a drink too as she walks off to grab her towel.

Swallowing a gulp of water, Tashi shrugs, sitting on the floor and criss-crossing her legs. “Jacob and Tammy broke up again.”

“Really?” Heaven tosses her towel to the corner and goes over the bar closest to Tashi, perching one leg up on it. Holding true to what she promised her mother and continuing to practice. “They just got back together last week. That means Jacob’s gonna ask you to go to the dance with him next week.”

“Shut up.” Tashi scoffs with a smile, watching her friend stretch. 

“He will.” Heaven hums. “You gonna say yes?”

Tashi laughs, stretching her own back before laying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. “Why would I do that? I don’t like Jacob, he’s boring.” She turns her head to look at Heaven again. “I figured we were going together.”

“Why would you think that?” Heaven grunts as she switches legs. “You haven’t asked me.”

Tashi rolls her eyes, pushing off of the floor and moving back to the middle of the room. “Break time’s over, let's go.” 

“I didn’t take a damn break.” Heaven laughs, nonetheless moving over and getting into position. “You’re not gonna ask me?”

“Straighten your back.”

“It’s straight.” Heaven says, going up onto her single foots, eyes following Tashi as she spins her in place, not even noticing how much time is passing. “Fine. I’ll do it then, come to the dance with me.”

Tashi stops spinning the girl, stepping back once again, this time with a smug smile on her face. “Sure why not. It’ll be fun dancing with a princess.” 

Heaven lowers her foot slowly and as the realization hits her, her own smirk forms on her face. She’d done it. And her leg didn’t shake.

“Let’s show your mom, maybe she’ll let me come hang out more when she sees that I’m basically teaching you ballet.” Tashi jokes, only to be pushed by Heaven.

“Shut up and spin me again.”

“Call me when you make it back, okay?” Heaven smiles, removing her arms from Tashi’s neck and stepping back. “Love you.”

“You call me when you get the lead.” the girl smiles back, pulling Heaven in for a brief peck before walking over to get back into Patrick’s car. “And I know.”

Art doesn't manage to look away in time for that one, but quickly turns his head away as Patrick pulls the girl in, teeth grinding as he hears their lips separate. 

“I’ll visit after the first leg of my tour.” His friend mumbles behind him. Art can feel his lip curling as he tries to work a neutral expression onto his face. As he looks at the car he can see Tashi looking back at him with a pensive stare and immediately turns his back to say his own goodbye. 

He tries to wait until Patrick is standing at the window of the passenger seat, speaking to Tashi to pull Heaven a little further away. “Hey, are we gonna talk about before?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Heaven.” Art says, a pleading in his voice that drags her gaze back to him.

The girl shifts on her feet, glancing over his shoulder at the car and back at him. “Okay, we kissed. So what?”

“So what? Is that how you feel about it? So what?” Art asks, the hurt in his voice is clear as he looks down at the girl, brows furrowed in confusion. “I’m just saying we had a moment.”

“Fuck.” Heaven breathes, shaking her head. “Yeah. Okay. Are you gonna tell them?”

He straightens at that. He wants to say yes. He wants to be selfish, and ruin whatever the fuck is going on between the three of them. He doesn’t even know what he’d do once he did, he just knows he wants whatever this is, with them, to stop. 

But how can he? Looking at her face, pleading up at him. Watching her all morning, curling into Tashi and Patrick like it would undo what happened the night before. Like it would change the looks they’ve been sharing over their shoulders all morning. “You asked me not to.” he says softly.

Heaven nods quietly at that. “Thank you.” And with that she turns, arms wrapped around herself as she goes to climb the steps to get to her building door. Art watches her back. When he gets in the car he’ll make something up. He’ll say he just wanted to make sure she got inside safe. He definitely wasn’t waiting, hoping, praying she’d look back. Give him one more look. Something. 

She doesn’t.

But a few days later while he’s on the court practicing with one of the guys from the team, thinking for the twentieth time that Patrick may have been a little right wasting time considering he was absolutely destroying the kid with about half of his effort, he gets a text from an unknown number. 

12:41 p.m. : I got the lead.

He can’t help the smile that starts forming when he sees it on his screen.

“Donaldson, are you up for another set or what?” 

Heaven huffs in irritation as her leg bounces on the bleachers. Shifting in her seat again her cheek dimples with a frown as she watches Patrick’s racket go flying. “Fucking ridiculous.” she sighs, crossing her legs.

She’d been in school for a couple of weeks now and Patrick had a match not too far from her. She’d decided to be a good..whatever she is to him and come out and show some support. Tashi is preparing for her own match coming up, and to be honest, his performance on this leg hadn’t been impressive enough to encourage her to want to come see. 

Heaven was trying to be supportive. Despite his broke boy act, he had sent her flowers to her dorm the week of her auditions. So had Art, something that the girls in the dorm had been scandalized by when they realized the cards were not addressed by the same person. Tashi had called her to remind her of her schedule that week, meditated with her over the phone. She wanted to give the same support to them.

When the match ends she’s already reaching for her phone and sure enough, its vibrating in her purse. “I know.”

“Did you see that shit?”

“I know. I don’t know what the fuck he’s doing. Seriously.” Heaven stands from her seat, scooting passed the small crowds of peeople and making her way down the bleachers.

“Fucking around. He gets lazy-”

“In the third, yeah. He was better than this guy.” She squints to see him storming his way into the building to go the locker room and starts following him. “He’s pissed.”

“He should be embarrassed.” There’s the sound of something snapping closed on the other end and Heaven knows Tashi slams her laptop. “He was off screen for me, how are you seeing him?”

“I drove out here, it’s pretty close.” She says, balancing her phone on her shoulder with her cheek as she pushes the door to the building open and starts looking around for the men’s locker rooms. “Figured he could use the support.”

There’s silence on the other end of the phone for a moment and Heaven pauses in her steps, waiting for Tashi to say something. “Hm.”

“What?” Heaven sighs, leaning against the hallway, waving away an employee politely that seemed alarmed that she was on her way into the men’s locker room. “Babe, what?”

“Nothing, I’m sorry you didn’t get to see a win. He wasted our time. You could be rehearsing.” 

“S’fine, he just needs to get his shit together before-”

“I’ve gotta go.” Tashi cuts in. “I’m gonna hit the ball with Art. Hang out a little, we’ve been busy. Tell Patrick to call me later.”

Tashi hangs up before Heaven can say anything else. Breathing out in irritation, she pushes off of the wall and enters the locker room, putting a hand over her eyes and laughing at the men either scrambling to cover up or pausing to check her out.

The guy Patrick just played against wraps a towel around himself, making his way over to her with a smile. “You lost, sweetheart?”

Keeping her hand over her eyes she giggles, making her voice sickly sweet. “No, I’m a really big tennis fan, and I wanted to see if I could get that really hot guy Patrick Zweig’s number.”

“What?” He asks. 

One of Patrick's tourmates peaks his head out from behind a locker and rolls his eyes. “Zweig, your girlfriend’s here.”

Heaven can’t help but think to herself that as Patrick rounds the corner he doesn’t know exactly who he’s talking about. It makes her wonder, is that what she is? She, Tashi and Patrick have been hooking up since after his match with Art and it’s been fun. She likes him. He’s funny, and snarky, talking to him has been like…being with a male Tashi. 

But does she consider herself his girlfriend? Does he? She knows he dumped the girl he’d been seeing when he’d met them, but does he still hook up with girls while he’s on tour. And even then, is she a stop on his tour? 

Suddenly, she’s feeling a little like what she was just pretending to be. A groupie.

“Oh fuck yeah, hey.” He grins when he sees her. He’s changed out of his clothes from before into a ‘fuck you’ t-shirtand sweats. He immediately throws his arm over her shoulders, knocking her hand from in front of her eyes and replacing it with his own. “What do you think this is? A peep show? Huh? I missed you.”

Heaven laughs as she lets him guide her out of the humid room out into the hallway again, once they’re there, pulling his hand away and hugging him. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He smiles, pressing his lips to hers. Heaven pushes up onto her toes to meet him, giving him a few more pecks before pulling back. “You came up here by yourself?”

Translation: where’s Tashi. “Yeah…but, um, she wants you to call her later.”

“She was watching?” He asks, placing his arm back around Heaven and walking them back outside toward concessions. “Okay, so you both saw, that was bullshit, right?”

Yeah, we saw some bullshit. Heaven squints, trying to read the menu at the stand despite the sun beating down, trying not to look Patrick in the face. “Did you get tired or something?”

“No, but the calls were fucking stupid, they were robbing me.” 

“Hm.” Heaven raises one shoulder and drops it, turning back to the man at the stand. “Small vanilla ice cream please. 

Patrick laughs humorously, reaching in his pocket and pulling out his wallet. “Large.” Turning back to Heaven he shakes his head in disbelief. “You guys are just alike, you know? What does ‘hm’ mean?”

“I just think you could’ve beat him, he was fuckin’ scared of you the first half of the match.”

“I should’ve won.”

“I agree.” Heaven huffs, crossing her arms. 

Patrick, raises his eyebrows and throws his arms out a little, “Okay, so…”

“I just think you didn’t because you didn’t care to. It got hard so you made the decision to give up.” 

The older man in the stand clears his throat, holding out the cup of ice cream out with one spoon, eyeing the arguing pair. “Did you all need another one?”

“No.” Patrick says, shoving his hands into his pockets and turning to leave. “She can have the whole damn thing.”

Heaven’s eyes widen as she watches him walking away toward the building. She grabs the ice cream from the man walking over to a bench just outside of the courts. 

He’s walking slowly. He doesn’t wanna really leave. He’s just fucking like her. 

“I’m not fucking gonna chase you, Patrick.” Heaven chuckles, scooping some of the ice cream into her mouth. She watches from her seat as he stops. “And you’re proving my point. But I drove all the way here to see you. Are you gonna leave me on this bench?”  When he doesn’t immediately turn, Heaven nods to herself, taking another bite. “M’not getting up, Patrick.”

She watches as his shoulders rise and fall with his deep breath and he turns to face her again, marching back over and sitting roughly on the bench, jostling her a little but she keeps her face neutral. “I should have won.”

“I still agree.” Heaven says, scooping some of the treat onto the spoon and holding it to his mouth, knowing he was cooling off when he accepts it. “So why didn’t you?”

The brown haired man just sighs, dropping her head back against the bench with a thunk, staring up at the sky. “I dunno.”

“He was pissed at me.”

Art nods his head along as he steps out of the shower, wiping the condensation gathered on his phone on the towel before wrapping it around his waist and bringing the phone back to his ear. He knocks his hand on his suitemate’s door to let him know he’s out of the bathroom before he makes his way to his own room, closing the door. “He didn’t leave you out there, right?”

“No, he just did that thing he does, you know, storms off. But he calmed down and we had some fun. Could’ve done without the fight though.” 

Art wets his lip as he places the phone on speaker on his desk, letting Heaven’s voice fill his room. He never asked her what made her get his number from Tashi’s phone. He figured he shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. They’d been texting every day since he’d gotten it, talking on the phone every other day. They’ve talked about everything. 

Where they’re both from, their families, interests outside of tennis and dance. He learned her favorite colors are baby blue and bright orange. That she used to want to cheerlead too but her mother made her choose ballet because she preferred it and said she couldn’t do both at the same time. That her dad left when she was two but she has a great relationship with her stepfather. 

She learned that while Art loved tennis, he’d tried to quit his boarding school three different times when he first got there, but each time he’d won a match and the sport pulled him back in. That he, despite complaining, loves seeing his grandma because she was the one who really raised him because his parents were busy. That he always wanted a younger sibling but never got one, so when he was still at the school, he and Patrick would help teach the younger students tennis when they weren’t dicking around. 

What she doesn’t know is that he could do without talking to her about dating his best friend.

 “I’d bet.”

Heaven laughs ruefully on the other side of the phone, and the sound has him melting immediately. Sits at his desk, letting himself air dry as he listens to her giggles ring out. “I’m being shitty. How’s school, Arthur?”

And that sends a shiver down his spine. He clears his throat, sitting up as he stares at the phone as if she was in its place. “It’s good, you know, I’ve been staying busy. Between classes and tennis. The guys here are kinda shitty, beating them doesn’t really mean shit.” 

“Well, not everyone can be Art Donaldson. You must be hanging out with Tashi too much, you’re sounding cocky over there.” 

“Nah, it’s just that bad,” he says. Determined to steer the conversation away from Tashi, Art thinks hard. “What ballet are you doing? I gotta make sure I know what I’m watching when I come watch you.”

“You’re supposed to watch everyone so you can understand the story.” she says. He can hear the sound of creaking letting him know that she’s climbing into her bed. Art follows suit, pulling on his boxers and pushing up into his own twin sized bed.

“Heaven, if you’re there, I’m gonna be watching you.” he breathes, smiling to no one but himself.

There’s a soft, ‘Okay’ on the other side of the line, and then nothing. Just the soft sound of her breathing. When they have moments like these Art feels the sting of knowing that he lost to Patrick and in a way Tashi, that day in a different way. I should’ve won. I don’t know why I didn’t win. All I’ve done since then is win. “So, um, we’re doing Romeo and Juliet. Off the record I think the choice is corny, but as a principal dancer, Juliet, I love it and can’t wait to do it.” 

“Lucky Romeo.” he jokes, earning him another breathy laugh. He can’t help it. He tries not to say anything and clenches his jaw tightly, kicking himself for opening his mouth again. “I’m sorry, did you tell them that you got the lead?”

“Art-”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s just…you drove out there for his match. I couldn’t even go. Did he ask you how your auditions went? Did she?” 

“She told me I should rehearse, that’s how we talk to each other.” she says.

“And him? Did he ask?” 

“I’m not talking about this with you, that’s not why I called, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t vent to you about him. Or her. I know how you feel about her.” Heaven sighs.

“Do you know how I feel about you?” He asks. Silence. “Heaven, come on-”

“What would you do differently?” 

“Wh-” At first he doesn’t know what she’s asking. And once he realizes it, he knows she’s made it vague on purpose. Giving him an out. Giving herself an out. Asking too upfront would make it too real. But he wants it to be real. And he’s not gonna miss this opportunity. “I’d have been there the day you auditioned. You have a process and I know that, so I’d have called you before. Wish you luck. Tell you that you were beautiful. That I knew you’d get whatever part you wanted. And then I would have been there when you got out. I would’ve given you flowers. I’d tell you I’m proud of you. And I’d take you to get dinner.”

“Okay. Where?”

“We’d get your cheat food. And I couldn’t have it because I’m starting my season and I know you wouldn’t let me, but we’d get seafood and ice cream, and take it back to your room because you were probably so tired.” Art pauses then, waiting to see if she wants him to stop. He would stop, if she wanted him to stop, he would stop. This could be innocent. This could be advice from a friend who thinks she deserves better. But, that’s not what he wants. That’s all he thinks he has to offer her. “Heaven?”

“I’m…still here.”

“And…” Art thinks back ironically to all of the times Patrick has told him to take what he wants. To be forward and put himself first. “We’d take a shower together. I’d kiss you and massage you while I got you clean. Because, you deserve to relax, and you worked hard. And you were probably so sore, baby.” He hears Heaven’s breath hitch and shifts on his bed, continuing tentatively. “I’d touch you so good, Hev. I’d massage your breasts and kiss your neck. I’d mark your perfect skin. I…I’d want people to see it. To know who made you feel like that. To know who took care of you. I would put my fingers between your legs and make you feel so good. I’d hold you up so you don’t have to do anything. And I’d watch your face while you come for me.”

Art can feel his own labored breathing. He tries to tune the sound of himself out, only wanting to hear the whimpers that have started to come from his phone. He swallows back the last ounce of guilt he has as his hand slides down into his shorts, grabbing himself and biting back a moan as he thinks about his hands on Heaven, hearing her in his ear, feeling her under him. On top of him. Any way she wanted. 

“Fuck.” she gasps.

Art bites his lip briefly, willing away the jolt in his lower abdomen that comes from her sound, muscles flexing as he seizes upward slightly. He slows his hand on himself to a stop, pulling his hand out. Not until I hear it. Not until I get her there. “I’d carry you to your bed and lay you down. And I’d start at your feet. I’d kiss my way up your beautiful legs. People dream about your legs, Heaven, I dream about them. When you dance, when you walk, the way they look…fuck-” he groans, digging the hand that hadn’t grabbed the phone into his hair. “I’d push them apart and put them on my shoulders, and I’d taste you. I know you taste amazing, baby. I’d do anything to taste your cum.”

“Art-” she whines, and he lets his eyes slip closed. Behind his eyelids he can see her. In the bed, touching herself to him. Biting her pillow and crying out his name. Arching her back because it feels so good.

“Tell me it feels good, Heaven, please.”

“I…it feels good, Art.” 

He’s close. He can tell, with every sound she gives him, he gets closer, barely holding it together. He needs more. Just a little more. “Again.” he demands softly.

“You feel so good, Art.” she cries before dissolving into gasps and whimpers of his name.

He almost feels like he blacks out. Art doesn’t think he’s ever come so hard in his entire life. He literally rolls over onto his side to try to catch his breath and quiet his moans. He doesn’t think he could live it down if his suitemates came knocking at his door and he had to explain that he was trying to get his friends’ girlfriend off and accidentally worked himself up to the thought of taking her on a date and eating her out. 

Then there’s quiet again. The only noise is their shared rapid breathing crackling through the phone. They stay like that for a few minutes and Art thinks about how badly he wishes that it wouldn’t be absolutely crazy to tell her he wanted to drive the hours to UCLA, do exactly what he said on the phone and then hold her while they fall asleep. But, he knows better. And she speaks.

“I have to go.”

“Yeah.” Art breathes, sitting up grabbing tissues from his desk and starting to clean himself up. “I know.” 

He’s not gonna be the one to hang up. He wants more. He wants her voice. He wants her breaths. He wants to falling asleep on the phone. If she’s ready for the call to end, she’s gonna have to end it.

But she’s still here. 

“Art, I did tell them and…I don’t really know why but…I told you first.” 

Click.

[strwbrryeyes]

☼ bye ☼ (oikawa tooru x reader)

⟡ cw: she/her pronouns used, angst, break up, getting back together at end, idk im still bad at these, lmk if i miss anything else

⟡ a/n: i have my own interpretation of this song so it doesn't really follow the meaning behind it? idk but i still like it (even if i did write it poorly) but bear with me this song didn't have a lot to work with despite it being very catchy also rip a good third of this was just iwa #iwa4life

⟡ eternal sunshine masterlist

You and Oikawa had been dating since your third year of high school so about 4 years now and to say you had a wonderful yet disastrous relationship was an understatement. He was the perfect boyfriend, attentive, loving, caring, admirable- anything that comes to mind. Oikawa Tooru was picture perfect and so were you. At least 99% of the time. That 1% that was not perfect was whenever you would feel insecure or jealous of the girls that would constantly throw themselves at him. It’s a silly thing really, he did choose you over everyone else after all so you didn’t think you had anything to worry about and Oikawa thought so too so he never really reassured you and tried to take those insecurities away from you. Anytime you brought up how uncomfortable you felt with how touchy his fans were with him he would shrug it off and tell you to pay no mind to it but never actually address how you felt about it all.

There were countless times where you would lie awake at night thinking about if you were really just overreacting or if you were actually valid in the fear of losing Oikawa’s interest over time as he gains more fame and as more girls fall for him. You even confided in two of your best friends, Matsukawa and Hanamaki, and sure they were also best friends with Oikawa but over the last few years they have not been that close to Oikawa considering how much he traveled for volleyball, regardless though, they remained as neutral as they could. The pair of boys would reassure you and say that it’s just the result of the spotlight Oikawa has had on him since the beginning of high school. This reasoning made you feel better and you would shrug it off for as long as your mind would let you. It was a constant cycle and you were as used to it as you could be until one day when Iwaizumi knocked some sense into you.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

“Listen [name], as much as I cherish shittykawa as my best friend, I also cherish you just as much.” Iwaizumi says with a worried expression on his face as he slows down his pace as you two were on your weekly jog and after you didn’t respond for a few seconds, he stopped jogging all together and grabbed your wrist to make you face him. “Break up with him.” Iwaizumi said with all seriousness in his tone.

You had just told him about your most recent fangirl incident where a fangirl asked for a picture with Oikawa where he would kiss her cheek, this wasn’t an unusual request that was asked of him but that didn’t make you feel any better every time it happened even if you did simply roll your eyes at it and just shrugged it off every time. This time was different though. As Oikawa was going in for the kiss on the cheek, the girl turned her head so that their lips would collide. Of course the girl faked a panicked apology and said she wasn’t ready and just turned to ask him a question and of course Oikawa said it was okay in an all too calm manner causing the girl to give you a smug look when Oikawa turned around to tend to another fan. At that point though, you didn’t even bother bringing it up to Oikawa because you thought he would just dismiss it as usual.

“I was expecting you to find some way to defend him to be honest… I was kind of hoping you would actually…” you sigh as you sit down at a nearby bench with Iwaizumi sitting down next to you.

“Why would I defend him?”

You sigh while burying your face in your hands “I don’t know? Because you guys have been friends since you were childr-” “We’ve been friends for ages, [name]” Iwaizumi interrupts you “All three of us met each other at the same time back in grade school. Just because I’ve spent more time with Oikawa doesn’t mean I don’t care for you both equally and because I care for you two idiots so much…I think it is best for both of you to end things.” he continued as he forced you to face him once again.

“But Haji…he’s all I’ve known. Even before we started dating in our last year of high school… it has always been Tooru.” Your words begin to wobble as you feel a few tears fall down your face.

“Which is exactly why you guys need to at least take a break,” Iwaizumi begins as he wipes away a few tears. “You need time for yourself, to figure out what you want out of this relationship or any relationship. Hell, to figure out what you want for yourself, [name]. For the last few years you’ve been following Oikawa around while he plays volleyball and not once have I seen you be passionate about your own interests. You’ve made your life revolve around him ever since we graduated high school.” Iwaizumi’s tone starts to harden causing you to slowly stop crying “As for Oikawa, he just needs to get his head out of his ass and realize that there are other people in the world besides himself.” Iwaizumi finishes before standing up and holding out his hand to help you up that you accepted. And with that, you knew what you had to do.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

“Welcome back, darling!” Oikawa greets you with a kiss on the forehead as you walk into your shared apartment. “How was your jog with Iwa? What did you guys gossip about this time~” Oikawa wiggles his eyebrows as he waits for your response since he knew you both would always talk shit about people.

As you walked to the couch without saying a word, Oikawa followed you assuming you were tired and just wanted to sit down and catch your breath first but that assumption didn’t last long when you turned to look at him with a serious expression making him confused

“We need to break up, Tooru.” you finally say, causing all the  color drain from his face.

“What do you mean we need to break up? I thought everything was going great?” Oikawa sputters out while desperately grabbing your hand.

“Everything is great but there are just some things we need to think about if we want to continue with this relationship…” You start off before explaining all the things that have been troubling you along with the talk you had with Iwaizumi.

After a long talk that lasted hours and that included a lot of emotions, you and Oikawa came to an agreement to end things and to better yourselves- you with your confidence and insecurities and individuality and him with his consideration for other people and how he handles boundaries he and other people set. You also both talked about the possibility of maybe trying a relationship with each other  if you both still had love for each other later down the line.

With all that said and done, Iwaizumi came and helped you pack your things right after the break up just so neither you or Oikawa would back out of it and by afternoon the next day, you were moved out of the apartment you had known for the last few years and moved in with Hanamaki and Matsukawa who were more than glad to give you their spare room.

You were now excited to start a new part of life even if it would take a while to get over the grief of the relationship and even if it did take a while to stop crying every night because all you wanted to do was call Oikawa. You knew better than that though. This was the best decision or the both of you.

☼ ⋆。𖦹˚⋆

Two years later, Oikawa’s fame in the volleyball community skyrocketed and he was doing what he loved and always dreamed of, while you were the happiest you’d been in what seems forever.

The last two years have taught you both a lot about yourselves and allowed the two of you to grow as people. You have grown more confident with yourself and have picked up new hobbies and have gained passion for a few things that you plan to turn into a full fledged career and you were excited for what more the future holds for you. As for Oikawa, he has become less self-focused and has set proper boundaries with his fangirls and even other people, overall has just gotten better at maintaining his relationships with his friends, family, and whoever else mattered to him. Except you.

You and Oikawa haven’t spoken to each other in a year and half but that doesn’t mean you guys didn’t think about each other all the time. Oikawa has never left your mind and you have never left his. Admiring each other from afar, you both have grown very proud of the person the other has become. You both have gotten so proud of each other that it's gotten to the point where it’s so bad that Iwaizumi, Makki, and Mattsun have to force you and Oikawa into the same room to finally talk and catch up so they wouldn’t be forced to listen to your praises for one another every time one of you so much as blinked.

So that’s how you ended up stuck in Iwaizumi’s room with the door blocked on the other side so neither you or Oikawa could escape.

“We’re not letting you out until you kiss!” Makki shouts from outside the room earning a smack on the head from Iwaizumi.

“Ignore him and just talk.” Mattsun says with a giggle before walking away with Makki leaving only Iwaizumo to guard the door.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, you finally gathered the courage to sit next to Oikawa who was sitting on the floor on the other side of the room. He watched you as you fiddled with your hands before grabbing them into their own as to calm you down since he always knew that was a sign of you being anxious. And in that moment, you hugged him like you were never letting him go and of course, he hugged you back with the same amount of love and care before you both started happy crying.

After a few more moments of emotional silence, you pulled away from each other and talked about everything you’ve been wanting to talk about for the last year and a half and it was like you never left each other’s side.

“I missed you, Tooru.”

“I missed you too, angel.”

Finally, after all this time, you both had talked things out and decided to try things out again. You loved Oikawa and Oikawa loved you and you would and will do everything you can to never be apart from each other ever again.

[buddyfunnyspendtime]

ok i;m normal now new mao card so good.. 1 he is super duper pink here welcome back princess mao i missed u girl 2 the camera angle.. voiceline mentions being number 1 star and his talents and if u know mao's complication with both of those things from ex. autumn live it really makes u think that NO FUCKING WAY HAPPYELE IS ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING WITH MAO'S CHARACTER

his complication with being number 1 is the fact as a kid this guy always wanted 2nd place as to not hurt anyone if he got 1st he's a guy who doesn't want conflict and is a general people pleaser so the fact it looks as though he's looking down on us means he truly is at the top

he's at the top but at the same time he's stretching a hand out.. he's accepting and actually competing for the top but at the same time he still stays true to the part of him that wants to help others also goes along with the fact that trickstar may've been at the top at some point but they were still approachable..

the star thing where mao considers himself as a mere flashlight compared to the bright stars that the other trickstar members are his whole inferiority complex that soon gets shaped into him using his low self esteem as a flashlight that although he may not shine as bright he can still be the person he wants to be by being able to be other peoples sides as their light.. however this time he WANTS to be at the top of the sky as a true genuine star just like the trickstar who showed him true wonder whom he wishes to be with

the chandelier in the bloomed shining down at him to show how bright he is now is so good i love it

mao thinks himself of as a jack of all trades master of none so he thinks he has no outstanding talent but regardless of his own interpretation of himself he's going to push through it in fact the amount of effort this guy is willing to put in no matter how much it takes or troublesome that's his talent it seems ordinary on paper to mao but really it's a part of what makes him so important to the people around him who see him so brightly that he just doesn't seem to see for himself

i was so worried that mao being one of the first 2 4piece auditioners would mean he was only setup for 4piece exposition and be pushed to the side again but now it feels as though it's an ending to mao's arc that was left started in autumn live but never received an ending

i really am excited for this story but at the same time i'm also holding myself back for probably the more obvious conclusion of nothing really happening or something big happening that really ends with nothing but if happyele can AT LEAST let this be a push for mao's character in the 2nd year of !! era i'll be a happy man this is what i've been waiting for For so so long

first mao card of 2nd year of !! era being a love letter to his character makes me really happy it feels as though i could die

[binniebakery]

ʚ thinking about going to the beach with bf!gyu on your anniversary ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` ) ʚ he'd originally want to make it a surprise but has a bit of trouble finding a proper beach house so he asks you for help </3 ʚ regardless,, you were touched that he even came up with the idea ʚ bf!gyu who helps you shove all your stuff into his car and drives you an hour out to the coast ʚ and it's beautiful!!! despite it being spring time, the weather isn't too hot or too cold so swimming was really up to you guys! ʚ of course the minute you guys arrive, he's jumping out of the car and running to the passenger's side to open the door and pull you out to lift you into the tightest hug ever ʚ the scent of your boyfriend mixes with the salty air and it's so comforting <3 the way the breeze gently carries your giggles and light whines for him to let you go because 'you're squeezing me too tight beomie--! I'm gonna explode!' ʚ bf! beomgyu who ignores your protests for a few seconds longer because he can't resist the way your hair gently sways from the gentle wind and the smile on your face as you stare at him with stars in your eyes ʚ that grandma walking her dog flashes you both a sweet smile as she passes by because you're both just too cute <3 ʚ after beomgyu chases you around with a water gun you had no idea he had packed and multiple stolen kisses you both finally managed to unpack all your belongings and are ready to take on the weekend! ʚ and its already dinner time!! you both offer to make each other dinner and after your brief debate, you both agree on making it together! ʚ of course he's a tease,,, wrapping his arms around your waist as you bite your lip in an attempt to focus on the stir-fried veggies in front of you. ʚ your breath hitches as his warm breath tickles your neck and you remind him that as much as you would love to do something else you both need to eat after your drive! ʚ bf!beomgyu who wakes you up the day of your anniversary with your favorite flowers (courtesy of the small shop that was near by) and you can just feel your heart swell from the gesture :(((( ʚ he's just so sweet,,, and ofc you make breakfast for him to eat in bed (because he's spoiled!) in return ʚ bf! beomgyu who sits with you on the sandy beach, you both find a nice place by the rocks and he's grinning ear to ear as he watches you stare at the sunset ʚ you look at him curiously, "what is it?" you smile (he's thankful you can't hear the way his heart is hammering in his chest) ʚ he stares silently for a few seconds more. as if the breeze blowing by would whisper his thoughts to you :(( <333 ʚ bf! beomgyu who shakes his head, long hair swishing around as he lets out a chuckle. "nothin'." ʚ you shrug and look back at the ocean, arm wrapped around his. ʚ bf!beomgyu who continues to stare at you because to him you're definitely a view more worth seeing ʚ and it's like you can read his mind, you find yourself smiling wider as you rest your head on his shoulder<3 ʚ because although beomgyu masks that sincere and thoughtful side to him with his silly persona, deep down his mind is just like the ocean you find yourself staring into. if you look deep enough you'll find treasures and beauty beyond anything you could imagine <3

♡ Recipe Notes: last part was actually based off of a dream i had with gyu a while ago LOL

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for saying different stuff to my friend’s face and behind his back?

As you can tell, I’m pretty genuinely worried I screwed up here.

So I (17F) and my friend (17M) both auditioned for the school musical. We both have done every high school show, so we’re very immersed in the theater world. We are seniors and this was our last show. This is just some context—the point of which is that my friend and I both have tons of friends in the theater department, and that’s where a lot of our socialization happens.

My friend was the male lead in the last school musical, so it was likely he’d be the main male lead again this year. However, when I saw what musical we were doing, I actually thought he’d be better as the supporting male lead. Still an ENORMOUS role, but due to his personality, casting type, acting, and tap dancing abilities, that just seemed like the better role for him.

Meanwhile, this other senior guy who had only done one show also was auditioning. Now, he’s also very talented, so in his first show he actually got a pretty big role, but he also proved really difficult to work with during that show and also at the auditions for this new show got so upset he actually stormed out for a while.

However, his acting and singing audition were perfect for the main male lead.

If he was cast as the main male lead and my friend was cast as the supporting lead, our show would have looked SO GOOD.

But after the whole storming out fiasco, I was pretty sure that other guy wasn’t getting a big role at all. But when the cast list came out, my friend was the main lead and this guy was the supporting lead.

Now. I was super happy for my friend. But it was not a good casting choice for him, and since that other role is so big, it doesn’t really punish the other guy for walking out either. So it doesn’t save us the headache of working with the one guy AND puts my friend in a role that isn’t as perfect for him.

But my friend is BELOVED in the cast, and not just by me. He’s practically worshiped by everyone who isn’t his close friend, and his close friends love him for obvious reasons (cause we’re friends). So everyone made a huge deal about how he’s PERFECT for the role, and blah blah blah, and I kinda silently disagreed but I wanted to suppose my friend so I was like “yeah! You totally deserved it! Good for you!”

This other guy though kinda got irrationally angry that he was given the supporting lead (he’s definitely an asshole regardless of whether or not I am) and even quit the show… even though he got a big part. And then he started talking trash about my friend and saying he wasn’t talented?

But when that guy talked to me (weird decision considering everyone knows we’re really close), he said, “my acting was literally so much better for that role. I SHOULD have gotten the role.” And I said, “yeah. My friend really would have been better in the other role. I agree.”

And then he went on to say, “my acting is so much better than his anyway.” And I didn’t straight up agree, but my response was, “well, you know politics plays a huge role in these things.” Which definitely didn’t deny what he said. (And my friend actually is disproportionately benefited by director politics bc he takes private lessons from our choreographer, so I wasn’t WRONG—but I wasn’t being the good friend I should have been either.)

So I sorta feel like I told this other guy, who probably didn’t get the main lead bc of politics/being a nightmare to work with (probably both, tho the second is less likely since he got a big role anyway?) that he was right about my friend, even though my friend really is talented and I never MEANT to imply that he wasn’t. But I think I did.

I’m happy for my friend getting the lead. And I’m not sorry for thinking he would have been better cast in the other role. But…something feels icky about telling him he’s perfect for the role and then telling his rival that he would have been better for the role.

I don’t know. Let me have it if I need it, tumblr. AITA?

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Stan Getz (pretty sure he like brought bossa nova to the us feel free to fact check me on that tho)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

[roserunodays]

*Trigger Warnings for this post discussing self harm and suicide*

So I was talking with @mgjong about Mahiru, and we noticed a few things regarding her story that I wanted to go more in detail with and highlight! First, I wanted to talk about Mahiru’s behavior during her T1 VD:

Once Es gets to the heart of the conversation and starts reminding Mahiru about her crime, the tone notably shifts here, along with Mahiru’s reaction. Her words are trailing off, her voice is notably more subdued, and of course, she does not deny that she did "kill" someone:

And then, Mahiru changes the subject, with Es even pointing it out and wondering why she’s doing this. The topics she starts talking about are very interesting too:

Mahiru: “So first things first, you should gather up all your courage and be completely transparent about yourself. Doing so will make your partner feel at ease. And they’ll start opening up about themselves more.”

What interesting topics to talk about Mahiru! Communication and transparency? Wanting your partner to open up? Why would you bring up those kinds of things here? Right after Es mentioned your crime? Were you doing it subconsciously because you were reminded of the time when you couldn't do this? Specifically for your boyfriend in mind? I don't know, it's just very interesting how this is the very first topic about love that she brings up in her VD.

Mahiru's bf:

Speaking of her bf, do I think this guy is a saint? No, definitely not. Do I think he’s some asshole who deserved to die? No, I don’t think that either. To me, the bf is just another guy. He’s human, and he failed to communicate his boundaries with Mahiru, which contributed to their conflict.

Clearly, we don’t know much about this guy, outside of Mahiru’s perception of him, but here’s how I personally interpret this guy and the role he plays in Mahiru’s story:

1. Mahiru's bf was just someone who failed to communicate and establish his boundaries with Mahiru, with his mental health getting worse as time went on for their relationship.

2. Mahiru's bf had his own mental health and self-harm issues before he had met Mahiru, which were made worse because of their relationship.

I don't think these two options have to be mutually exclusive either. But I do think there's a bit of evidence that points to her bf having mental health issues before. In one of the magazine scans in TIHTBILWY and in Q16 of her T2 interrogation, Mahiru notes that she met her bf on the university terrace, which seems innocuous enough with how Mahiru describes it:

From user @shima1408 on YouTube:

But in ILY, Mahiru's bf has also been shown to have blood on his clothing while both of them are in the forest. It is possible that he could've gotten injured while they were walking through the forest, but more importantly, Mahiru does not have any blood on her clothing. Why is Mahiru the one not injured then, but her bf is? Did he inflict those wounds on himself? Why was he on the university terrace that fateful day he and Mahiru met? Did he fall in love with Mahiru because he thought she was the one? A fated partner who stopped him on that day and could give him another chance at a happy life?

So I do think it's a possibility that this guy had mental health problems before he had met Mahiru, which she inevitably made worse due to her love. He literally could’ve just been on the terrace chilling, but the meeting detail is still pretty odd to point out. It also stands out from all of Mahiru’s existing fluff dialogue and romanticization of the event and is even noted again in an interrogation question in T2, despite having been mentioned before.

But regardless of whether or not he did, Mahiru did not recognize how her love caused a strain on her bf's mental health. So when Mahiru became more obsessive and overbearing as time went on, as well as her bf not being able to communicate his needs and establish those boundaries with her, they both ended up being mutually toxic to each other as a result of this miscommunication.

Again, this is why I think she continued to emphasize “getting to know the other person better” and “being transparent” to Es in her T1 VD, because she had failed to do this with her bf before. Not only did she change the subject to avoid talking about her sin, but she also switched to a topic she knew deep down she failed to do with her bf, so she ends up compensating for it through her conversation with Es.

Cake:

The cake in ILY obviously represents love, but it also represents hurt and pain (as shown with how Mahiru feeds the cake/rat to her bf). Because both of them are shown to be feeding the cake to each other, it shows that in this conflict, blame cannot be placed on one or the other entirely. They had both failed in the relationship, despite genuinely loving each other.

Mahiru's bf feeds her a small piece, which she takes happily. He's careful with it, making sure the piece doesn't fall it to the ground. An important thing to note: Mahiru eats the slice willingly (Mahiru is so willing to accept that pain too, huh?), and her bf does not force her to eat it:

But Mahiru gives him a much bigger piece with no hesitation. Because she thinks that's what he wants. She thinks that more of her love will help quell his exhaustion, his pain. So she feeds him a bigger, more overwhelming slice of cake. She's careless, and the slice could fall so easily. And what does she do? Force her bf to eat the cake. She does not give him a choice to not accept it.

Suicide:

Now to the main setting in ILY: it’s a literal forest, which seems to allude to the Aokigahara Forest aka the "Suicide Forest" as it's known for in real life. We know that Mahiru's bf died from suicide based on ILY and the Undercover shot where he's missing his shoe, but we still don't know the reason why Mahiru was shown to be with him before his suicide. This leads me into thinking two possible scenarios on what possibly happened:

1: Mahiru’s bf was planning to kill himself, and Mahiru somehow found out about it and tried to join him, but had failed in doing so.

2: Both Mahiru and her bf were planning a "shinjū" (lover’s suicide) together, with Mahiru being unsuccessful with the attempt.

I am leaning more towards possibility #2 because of how it would fit in with Mahiru’s tendency to "share pain" as something she views as love. Since the lover's suicide is a concept that matches this sort of thing, I wouldn't put it past Mahiru and her bf to go along with this idea, and it was just that Mahiru was the one who survived this while her bf did not. Lover's suicides are also a thing common in literature, so it's definitely something Mahiru would find and know about given her literature and romance novel associations.

Other interesting details pointing to this in ILY: Mahiru's bow around her neck and the way it is here in ILY is very odd, like it’s supposed to be some kind of noose around her neck. It doesn’t even seem like it can normally come undone like that while they were trekking through the forest, especially since the bow itself is usually fastened and tied up neatly in the outfit she wears with it:

Mahiru is also shown to be barefoot, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense? Why are you barefoot like your bf is, Mahiru? What is the reason for matching with your bf, who is about to commit suicide in this forest? Were you going to go along with him? Why were you even there in the first place, Mahiru?

Both of these theories could still work though! Whether it be them planning the suicide from the start, or her joining in willingly, I think both of these examples highlight how much little self-regard Mahiru has for her own life. Mahiru has established that she would do anything her lover does (including harmful behaviors such as smoking), and she would do anything for love itself at that. Mahiru would continue to endanger herself if it was for the sake of love, so it doesn't seem too far fetched that she would go along with something so extreme and life ending at that:

And what else does Mahiru say about love, the ultimate form of it? Being always together. Lover's suicides are often done with the intent of being reunited again in heaven and in the next life. A method such as this would definitely help Mahiru and her bf be together forever, right?

How interesting though, that she still does not quite understand why her bf isn't here anymore. Isn't the ultimate form of love always being together? So why then, is he not here anymore? She knows she’s responsible, that she had done something wrong.

But she was just showing her love. And yet, just why?

Why is he not here anymore?

[hongthoven]

Love me like you hate me pt. 3 ✘ hongjoong x reader (smut&angst)

❅ pairing : kim hongjoong (ateez) x fem reader

❅ rating : +18 | angst, smut

❅ warnings : violence, strong language, sex, mention of death

❅ status : chaptered, unfinished (chapter 3/?)

❅ tags&stuff : gang leader!hj, gang AU, stripper!reader, drugs, money, corruption, stripclub, violence, San as hj’s right-hand man and Wooyoung as their overexcited sidekick, San is kind of a sadistic bastard, heart eyes for Woo, graphic sex scenes incoming, joong is a rough little man with a potty mouth, Yunho’s there too and the most perfect boyfriend material as usual

❅ chapter wc : 4.5k

❅ previously ― part 1 | part 2 ❅ network : @newworldnet

please comment & reblog if you enjoyed reading ♥

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝟑

“Fuck- who knew a single dude could bleed that much?” San chuckled, rolling up his sleeve to wipe some blood off his skin, taking off one of his rings as it was now closer to rose gold from being painted red. 

“You did rip the guy’s teeth off one by one, that’s gotta hurt!” Wooyoung giggled from the front seat of the car taking them all back home, unbothered by the puzzled look their driver would occasionally give them. 

“What can I say, I like a job done right” San teased once again, cursing a little as some of the blood didn’t seem to come off that easily. 

Sitting next to him, Hongjoong was quietly staring into the city skyline as they drove through the night, failing to make any comment on his friend’s behavior when he would usually mock him for being a sadistic asshole with a thirst for blood. Still, he had to admit most of his regular income was the fruit of San’s hard labor and bad temper. While he had made a name for himself, Hongjoong knew most of his enemies never came too close because they already had been flirting with death too many times because of San’s fists. If he wasn’t exactly a role model when it came to act on the low and be discreet, San was by far the best right-hand man he could wish for. 

“Who’s got your tongue, boss?” San finally asked, poking Hongjoong in the arm as he had never seen him so quiet before. 

“Bet it was that stripper” Wooyoung giggled, mostly to himself, sighing at the memories of the girl grinding all over him hours before as he rolled the car window down to light himself a cigarette. 

“Shut the fuck up. Both of you” Hongjoong coldly ordered, his eyes never drifting from the sight of a city fast asleep while his mind wandered once again to that club, head still filled with vivid images of that girl he had reluctantly left behind. She had never left his mind, like a permanent thought soon to turn into his new obsession.

Settling back into an ordinary life was always the hardest part of the job.

As she sat in front of the mirror in her cozy little boudoir, her hair into a messy bun as she wiped away the sparkly make-up that made her feel untouchable on stage, Y/N couldn’t help but overthink the situation she had been stuck into, earlier in the night. While resentment was getting ahead of her, it suddenly seemed like Yunho had been summoned into the room as he made a quiet entrance, keeping his back against the door as he simply stared into her reflection. 

“How was your night?” 

A simple question he always asked, rushing into the changing rooms as soon as she was done with her shift to make sure everything was okay and none of their clients had taken things a little too far. Regardless of his schedule, Yunho’s primal instinct was to check on the girl he adored beyond any sort of good sense. 

Still, when she failed to reply, Yunho instantly felt his heart drop into his chest. Something was odd and the ice cold look she eventually spared him came as a confirmation. 

“Is there something wrong?” He frowned, walking closer to her, his hands instinctively resting above her shoulders while he fought within himself not to massage her tired muscles from dancing and grinding all over strangers for hours. A ritual he had grown fond of.

“I don’t know. You tell me, boyfriend?” Y/N eventually dared to snap back, her eyes turning into little darts all aiming at his puzzled face as she emphasized on the word ‘boyfriend’. 

Confused, Yunho suddenly felt like he had been thrown into an impromptu game of Russian Roulette, looking for the answer that would spare him the inevitable execution. There was no sympathy in her eyes, only a fair mix of anger and judgement.

“Care to tell me why Kim Hongjoong and his men seemed to think we’re involved?” she finally spoke again, unable to deal with the sudden quietness between them, especially when she sincerely expected a valid reason for him to think it was okay to play pretend.

“I never said anything about us, I swear” with a quick shrug, Yunho felt smaller than ever, almost pathetic as he stammered through the weakest apologies he could serve. Nothing felt familiar anymore, from her body language to the complete deception in her eyes. She suddenly felt like a stranger, someone that couldn’t wait to get away from him, and that thought only was enough to tighten the knot growing into his stomach.

“I hope so. Cause there is no ‘us’…” though he had been preparing himself for years, each of these words felt like a single cut through his heart, like a dagger sinking into his flesh until it hit his bones, tearing him apart until there was nothing left of him but a pool of blood where every single one of his hopes had come to die.

Without a word, Yunho watched as Y/N removed the remaining of her make-up, pulled her long hair up into a neat ponytail and gathered her belongings, scattered all over the desk only to be thrown into her brown, leather bag. Not only was he hurt to the very core of his pride, but the way she was now avoiding any eye-contact with him made it unbearable to stand in the same room.

“He- uh…” he paused, coughing to give himself some composure, supposing he had any left, “He asked me to clean your schedule for the week, so… I guess you won’t have to see my face for a while, guess that’s convenient”.

He hated how pathetic and whiny he sounded right now, but nothing had ever come close to the pain he was experiencing as he watched the girl of his dreams changing from her stage fit to her casual clothes. When every man in town would die to see her walking around in a lacy thong, Yunho secretly loved this version of her the best. The one in regular jeans, sneakers, and a plain white tee-shirt. The real her.

“Yeah right” she scoffed, unimpressed.

“I’m serious, Y/N, that man isn’t playing” any other day, Yunho would have played along with her typical rebellious attitude, calling her smug for provoking a man that held the entire city into the palm of his hand, but regardless of the way she had crushed his soul seconds prior to this conversation, he still felt the urge to protect her.

“And neither am I” she coldly stated, adjusting the strap of her bag over her shoulder as she walked toward the door, ready to call it a night.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” she added without a look or a single sign of sympathy, walking out the door as Yunho remained alone, standing in the middle of the room, powerless and petrified at the thought of the inevitable confrontation coming his way.

Hongjoong walked home in the middle of the night. Nothing out of habits, for a man whose business typically ran after sunset. Throwing his keys and taking his jacket off as he walked directly to the bathroom, he could hear the familiar yet unsettling buzzing sound coming with the deafening silence of his place.

With loneliness as his most faithful companion over the years, he had given up trying to make this apartment feel like home; simply because he didn’t know what ‘home’ was even supposed to feel like. All these ideals of a healthy household had died with his mother and now, the only memories of ever feeling ‘like home’ were starting to fade away with time.

The smell of freshly cooked meals, the sound of her laugh, the way she always pushed his hair back to plant a kiss on his forehead, the faded sound of her favorite records playing in the living room whenever his father was out. This was home to him.

On the cusp of turning 30, Hongjoong couldn't ignore the tragic irony of reaching an era his mother would never get to experience. Though he would always remember her at the prime of youth, there was some bittersweet aspect to the thought of never seeing her grow old.

Sometimes, when he would allow himself to bask into melancholy, Hongjoong liked to imagine what she’d look like with a few wrinkles and grey hair, how her voice would change with time, what it would feel like to grow up with a loving mother by his side. Would he be any different?

While the fantasies would change over time, his father never made it to the final cut. There was no place for this man and his toxicity in the perfect picture of a lifetime with his beloved mother.

And now here he was, an orphan trying to make himself a home without knowing where to start.

His place still matched the mystery of his aura, blissfully dark, expensive, and fashionably empty. High ceilings, large windows and concrete floor made this loft the perfect place to hide, perched on the last floor of the tallest building in town with the most breathtaking view on the skyline.

Hongjoong often felt like standing in a lighthouse with nothing but the darkness of the Sea ahead of him. Nothing to be seen on the surface but a pitch-black sky sparkled with stardust. But if he dared looking down through the city lights, Hongjoong could easily picture a family. A couple. Strangers living their lives, enjoying the most trivial things of a routine he was always dreading to step into. A father helping his daughter with her homework, bending over a geometry book on the dining table, a little boy playing with his dolls in his bedroom, two lovers snuggling on their couch.

Pieces of a life he would never get to experience, only because he didn’t belong into a ‘home’.

Rolling up his sleeves to unveil his tatted arms, a few bracelets, and a vintage watch, Hongjoong frowned at his reflection in the mirror as he splashed some cold water onto his face, pressing his fingers into his temples, hoping to make the reminiscing stop. He wouldn’t allow himself to dive into nostalgia when his present already held too much drama for him to take a break.

Still, while it was easy to push the family memories aside, one thought remained. One particular face he just couldn’t blink away that easily.

She was everywhere, her voice echoing through his brain like a broken record. The way her lips curved into a smile as she teased him, her plump thighs hiding that precious mole he was now dying to taste, the softness of her skin, the way her body reacted to his touch but not entirely – not as much as he wished. Hongjoong wasn’t typically the kind of man to give a girl any second thought. If anything, women were easy targets to him, and if his good looks weren’t enough to attract them, money always was.

Money could buy him anything, and if this girl wasn’t kneeling for him within the next hour, someone else would have to do, for now.

Grabbing his phone from his slack’s pocket, Hongjoong was quick to compose a text. Something extremely formal with a few instructions. The usual.

She walked through his doorstep less than thirty minutes later, as requested by the man holding the cash in one hand while the other invited her in. Though she was a regular, Hongjoong never dared to ask for her name. He didn’t need to know, didn’t even care.

“‘been a while, handsome “ She smiled, grabbing the cash from his hand without bothering with a recount. Hongjoong wasn’t a scam, like some of her clients. If anything, he often overpaid for the ridiculously short amount of time she was here. Not that she would complain about it.

“Let’s cut the talking for today” Hongjoong simply stated, unwilling to chit-chat as he gulped some leftover whisky from the glass on his coffee table, wiping his lips with the back of his hand as he settled himself on his brown, leather couch.

There wasn’t anything remotely romantic in the way he watched the girl kneel in front of him, her hands already busy with his belt like a task she had been given, and nothing more. A perfect play doll following his instructions while his mind already wandered somewhere else, away from here, away from her, and with a much more pleasant company.

With his head tilted back and his eyes closed, Hongjoong quickly allowed himself to wrap the girl’s hair into a fist as he thrusted himself deeper into the warmth of her welcoming throat, a simple growl escaping his own lips while his head started to fill with someone else’s face.

He could see her clearly now, her sparkly make-up already ruined, black lines rolling over her cheeks as she gagged slightly with a mouthful of him. She was taking him like a champ, the perfect, velvety walls of her mouth fitting like a glove to his throbbing cock. Her hands clenched into his thighs, tracing thin, red lines all over his skin while his eyes couldn’t get enough of the sight of her exposed back and the perfect dome of her ass, peaking from her skirt. He loved the idea of having her fully dressed and already drooling over his lap, too hungry to even undress herself, too eager to be fucked.

It wasn’t long until Hongjoong found himself losing control, one particular swirl of the girl’s tongue forcing him to dig his nails deeper into her scalp while she welcomed his release through a guttural moan – and even then, his body still shaking with pleasure and overstimulation as the girl made sure to swallow every last drop of him, Hongjoong couldn’t help but picture that glow on her face as she would look up, teary eyes and puffy lips as the perfect signs of a fucked-out state while still untouched.

“Looks like you’re ready for round 2, baby” the girl teased as she wiped the corner of her lips like she had just feasted on her favorite cake, pleasantly surprised to see him getting hard again while oblivious to the reason behind his extreme arousal. While she had done a decent job, all credits fully remained to a girl who was most likely asleep by now, miles away from being the main character in Hongjoong’s filthy scenarios.

Was she alone right now? Was she even sleeping? What if Yunho had failed at keeping his promise? What if he was the one filling her perfect mouth right now with his palm resting on her cheek, her vicious tongue playing with his balls as he claimed her repeatedly?

That thought only was enough to send him spiraling, anger making his blood boil into his veins. If he couldn’t have her immediately, no one could. Especially not Yunho.

“I’ll call you a cab” his tone was cold, typically detached as he fixed himself back into his pants, the moment long gone now that he couldn’t get away from the disturbing images of another man touching his girl. Though it was crazy to think of it, Hongjoong couldn’t help but claim her as his now that she was the only thing on his mind. He could easily picture himself losing sleep over it and go beyond measures to get her. Even if that meant having Yunho and every other man looking at her, buried six feet under.

The hooker was gone without much ceremony. Not that the situation deserved any.

Alone again with his thoughts for company, Hongjoong eventually crashed into his bed an hour later, knowing he wouldn’t get much sleep that night.

Y/N had been tossing and turning through the short amount of time she was asleep that night. Struggling to find her way into a peaceful slumber after the chaotic series of events happening at the club earlier. While she tried her best not to be an overthinker, picking her battles over silly misunderstandings, she hated to face any discomfort in her workplace. The one place where she felt strong enough to handle anything. She couldn’t allow any turbulence in her comfort zone, moreover if that meant losing a precious paycheck. Something she couldn’t afford.

Stretching into her bed, Y/N looked nothing like the girl she was on stage the night before. With her long hair pulled into a bun gone messier over her sleepless night and her body wrapped into an oversized shirt that could easily pass as a dress, she fitted perfectly as the girl-next-door with her face fresh of any make-up.

Her bedroom looked exactly the same as it did years ago, when she was still a teenager running from school to her student job in the evening, trying to make ends meet so she could afford medication and a decent living for her grand-mother; walls covered with pictures of a younger version of herself with her friends backpacking through Europe, a massive poster of her favorite film, Moulin Rouge above her bed and a closet full of clothes she barely had enough time to wear with her crazy schedule at the club.

Her peaceful awakening was suddenly cut short when hearing voices coming from the living room. Voices she could instantly identify as her grand mother’s and the one person she didn’t want to see, especially first thing in the morning.

Tearing herself off the comfort of her bed, Y/N escaped her bedroom, reluctantly dragging herself toward the living-room where she was inevitably faced with her favorite person in the world and Yunho, sharing some obviously pleasant conversation.

“Good morning, sweetpea!” Joan was a 72-year-old woman living with early stage of dementia and the closest thing to a mother Y/N had been granted with, since her own birth mother had decided she wasn’t built to be a mom and bailed on her before she even turned two.

“Hi nan’ … did you take your meds yet?” Y/N purposely ignored Yunho’s presence, checking for her grand mother’s pill container to double check.

“Of course I did – Yunho brought my favorite pastries for breakfast, isn’t he a sweetheart?” She couldn’t blame her grandmother, not even when she reached for Yunho’s face, pinching his cheek like he was some good puppy playing fetch with her. Still, she couldn’t find the strength to play pretend, especially without her morning coffee.

Yunho watched as Y/N kept ignoring him, his rounded eyes desperately looking for her attention behind his glasses. If anything, he looked like the perfect boyfriend with his nice polo shirt and his perfectly tamed hair. A man she knew Joan was secretly hoping her granddaughter would eventually marry, regardless of her unwillingness to be wed.

Without a clue what to answer, Y/N gave her grandmother a quick nod as she escaped toward the kitchen, aiming directly for the coffee machine. Yunho was quick to follow her steps, excusing himself while Joan’s attention was back on her favorite morning tv show.

“So we’re not even talking now?” he dared to ask as he walked close enough for her to feel the warmth of his body behind her back.

“What the fuck are you doing here? Can’t you take a hint?” she was genuinely mad now. Mad at him for showing up and forcing his perfect boy agenda on her grandmother, mad at her for allowing him to feel comfortable to do so and for some obscure reasons, mad at Kim Hongjoong for making her feel all of this altogether.

“I came here to apologize”

The sound of the coffee machine gave Y/N some much needed break into a conversation she didn’t want to be part of, her hand clenching around her favorite mug so it wouldn’t fall off the counter from the hectic vibration of the ancient appliance she had promised herself to upgrade as soon as possible.

With barely enough money to pay rent and take care of her grandmother’s condition, Y/N was often faced with the most superficial cravings, like having a perfect espresso machine and decent coffee in the morning instead of whatever dishwater she was having now.

“So you do have something to apologize for” she scoffed, taking a painful first sip as she finally faced her friend. Yunho looked sincerely sorry, his eyebrows knitted together as he reached for her arm, hoping she wouldn’t snap again. To his own surprise, she didn’t move.

“I’m sorry if I made it seem like I was claiming you… I know you’re not mine… or anyone’s… I just freaked out” he paused, reminiscing the events as he recalled Hongjoong’s words and the way his eyes were glued to his favorite girl’s every feature. “I’m just scared he might hurt you… Hongjoong is a scary man with power, god knows what he could—”

“I am not a child, for fuck’s sake! I can defend myself. It’s not your place to protect me!”

Her mug was back on the counter, almost breaking from being smashed against the surface as she felt anger boiling inside of her all over again.

“That’s the thing. I don’t know my place. What am I to you, exactly?”

Though it hurt him to even ask, Yunho couldn’t handle the uncertainty of his role into her life. Still, when he was faced with complete silence, it felt like his heart was slowly dropping into his chest, shredding into pieces.

“I see. Guess that’s my answer” he added, mostly nodding to himself as he pushed himself off the counter, reaching for her face to palm her cheek tenderly “just be careful alright? If I can’t protect you, no one will” he whispered, almost painfully.

Without a word, Y/N watched as he escaped the kitchen, peaking through the door to see him kiss Joan on the cheek, apologizing for leaving already with some work emergency as an excuse.

Guilt only found its way into her stomach as the front door closed behind Yunho.

“What’s on your mind, sweet pea?”

Y/N was now sitting on the floor in front of her grand-mother’s armchair, picking at a pastry while watching a silver haired TV anchor trying to sell some miracle vacuum cleaner on the shopping channel. She didn’t know why Joan loved these programs so much, but somehow, the old woman found some thrill in dreaming about appliances she couldn’t afford. Y/N loved to think she was a hopeless dreamer while secretly hoping she would someday afford to give her grandmother the life she deserved. A beautiful house filled with all the ridiculously pricy items she saw on TV.

“Nothing, just tired” she lied while Joan brushed her fingers through her granddaughter’s hair lovingly, pulling it into a nicely tamed ponytail just like when she used to be a little girl. Sometimes Joan would act like Y/N was still a child, struggling to anchor herself into present, but Y/N loved her way too much to complain, even if it meant for her to play pretend and allow herself to be groomed.

“I really like Yunho. He’s a good man.” Joan suddenly announced, her bony fingers resting upon her granddaughter’s shoulders as she massaged her sore muscles slowly.

“He is”

There was no point denying it. Yunho was a good man by definition.

“I think he really loves you, you know?”

Again, Y/N couldn’t find a single lie within herself to deny Joan’s statement. Anyone seeing them interact could tell Yunho was madly in love with her, though he never said the words to her face. It was easy to see the signs.

“I know” she simply added, her eyes suddenly heavier as her lack of sleep finally fought back. Within a few minutes, Y/N was curling up against her grandmother’s leg, her cheek resting above her lap as she fell back asleep under Joan’s sweet embrace.

Hongjoong only left his place at dusk, escaping his building only to disappear into a black, sedan car with tinted windows. Streets had been emptied earlier in the evening when a storm had wrapped the city into a gloomy atmosphere no one seemed to be equipped for. Sitting in the front behind the wheel, San turned the engine off as soon as his best-friend sat beside him on the passenger seat.

“Found anything?” Hongjoong asked before he even greeted his friend, stone cold as ever.

“Well—her name’s Y/N, she lives in the slum part of town… From what I get she’s her grandmother’s caretaker… Not much about the rest of her family so far… Got her address, phone number…”

Hongjoong welcomed every information with a simple nod while San scrolled through a couple pictures on his phone, mostly from her neighborhood.

“Anything else?” he finally dared to ask, knowing his friend enough to realize he was definitely hiding the key part of his investigation.

“You’re not gonna like it, man…” San sighed, his thumb scrolling to the next picture and zooming in so his boss could see a clearer version of Yunho escaping Y/N’s building first thing in the morning—and though Hongjoong remained silent,  the way his jaw instantly clenched at the sight of him was enough of a sign to let his friend know about his next move.

“How long was he in there?” he finally asked, eyes filled with nothing but rage.

“Couple hours, I’d say two for the most—enough for a good fuck, if you ask me”

“No one fucking asked you” Hongjoong snapped, pulling his gaze off the phone screen to watch the storm outside the window, his fingers fiddling with his rings while figuring out a plan from the new information he had just been given.

“Well that’s unfortunate” he added, recalling Yunho’s faithful behavior through the years and how he had proven himself to be a fairly loyal and trustworthy associate. “Now we’ll have to teach him a lesson…”

“Want me to kill the guy?” San dared to ask like it was the only option left. Merely a daily task he was used to, by now.

“Just make sure he gets the message for now” Hongjoong added, his fist making a beat against the car door as he tried his best to compose himself, images of Yunho and Y/N together filling his brain to the point he couldn’t even think straight anymore.

“And I want someone to follow her every move. I want to know where she is, who she talks to, what she eats, anything. And if Yunho shows up again, I want you to call me immediately so I can take care of him myself. Are we clear?”

“Crystal” San nodded, starting the engine again as the tension in the car kept building up.

“Where to?” the right-hand man dared to ask after a while, only to be faced with Hongjoong’s stern look, his eyebrows knitted together with a mix of concern and anger he had rarely seen on his best-friend’s face.

“You know damn right where” Hongjoong simply stated, his eyes never leaving the road as San quickly took the next turn, heading toward the club.

[x-v0id-x]

I saw a post on tumblr ranting about darlings never actually fighting back or way too easily giving into their yan in dangerous situations. For the life of me I can’t find the post again but it really stuck with me and now I can’t help but think :3c

So here’s what my yans would do if they had a darling that would fight (and win) against them!!

<3 So it was a typical day.

<3 And by typical I mean that Milo was rummaging around your room to find some of your clothes or makeup to “borrow”.

<3 They can’t help it!! You have such a cute style! Milo loves having things you like and wearing them himself! It feels like you’re both truly together x3

<3 What they hadn’t accounted for was you coming home early from work. 

<3 You weren’t feeling too well, and after having gotten permission you got to come home early. Happy to finally get some rest, you walked into your house, set your keys down, and went right up to your room. 

<3 What you hadn’t accounted for was some guy in your room going through your closet.

<3 It was silent between the two of you, both of you staring at each other, frozen in place.

<3 Then panic ensued, you grasped at your pockets, trying to find your phone and run out of the room, but whoever this damn intruder was could move. Milo was grabbing your arms and pulling you back before you could even make it into the hall.

<3 They tried to calm you down, promise they didn’t want to scare you and something about liking you. You couldn’t pay much attention. Your fight or flight was kicking in.

<3 Without much of a thought you twisted your arms, causing Milo’s grip to loosen. Then you grabbed his arm and, using all your strength, flipped them over your shoulder. They fell onto the ground, coughing and gasping for air when their back hit the ground.

<3 You thought maybe that would be enough, but they were already trying to get back up. You quickly pushed them back down onto the ground with your foot, your heel digging into their chest.

<3 It was silent once again, the sound of both of you catching your breaths filled the room. 

<3 You expected more of a fight, but instead Milo seemed utterly ecstatic. 

<3 Their face was just as pink as their hair, staring up at you with the most loving but insane look. You thought they’d be furious, maybe scared? Anything but this. It only made him more unsettling.

<3 “Y-You.. you’re so strong!! ..Do you like throwing me around? You can do it as much as you like! You can step on me more too!! I’ll love anything you’d do to me ♡”

<3 What.

<3 You stepped away, more freaked out than before, but Milo immediately started to whine.

<3 “N-No..! Step on me again! Throw me around and make me filled with marks and bruises! I’ll cherish every single one!! I promise!!” 

<3 Milo thought it was exhilarating. The fact that you could pick them up and toss them around like they were nothing. It was just another thing he loved about you. They’d let you do it forever if that’s what you wanted. 

<3 You were a little torn on whether to keep trying to hurt him or to call the police, though regardless now Milo is a lot more bold when he swings by. All in hopes maybe you’ll have your way with them, in any way you chose ♡

(Small TW for a brief needle mention at the end ^^)

<3 With Kaito, he had just successfully managed to take you away, keeping you secure in his basement. 

<3 Now, when you woke up in a random room that looked like your own, but wasn’t. You were reasonably upset. 

<3 You knew you weren’t home. And one of the many reasons was the fact that the only door there wouldn’t open.

<3 You kicked at it, rammed your shoulder into it, tried to lock pick it with one of the various items around. Nothing worked. You were ready to tear up the entire room.  

<3 That is until you heard the door about to open, and immediately you opted to hide. Not that there were many places to do so. 

<3 Some strange guy emerged, someone you had never known. In an instant, you tried to run past him, but he grabbed you and pushed you back before you had the chance. The door was shut right after.

<3 If he had managed to get into the room, that could mean he had some sort of key. As soon as you got back up you threw yourself onto him. 

<3 You tried to throw a punch, but Kaito quickly caught it, yanking you forward. You caught yourself on his shoulder, shoving him back against the door. 

<3 The two of you fought for some time. Though Kaito never once harmed you. He might’ve tried to throw you off, directing your punches and hits to the side, but never attacking back much to your surprise

<3 Kaito wasn’t at all unharmed by it, scratches, hand prints, you could even see a bruise blossoming on his cheek. But he sure had endurance. Regardless of how much you fought him he never fell.

<3 You started to yell, scream at him to let you go as you clawed into his skin and shoved him aside, but he only grabbed you to bring you down with him. 

<3 Kaito had prepared for you to fight. But he had experienced much worse than anything you could ever give. He’d never hurt you, he’d let you beat him up as much as you pleased if that’s what you truly wanted.

<3 He waited until you tired yourself out, your punches growing more and more softened. 

<3 “You done, doll? Got all of it out of your system?"

<3 You threw another punch, rage compensating for your lack of energy. 

<3 Kaito only laid back to take it, moving his arms to wrap around your waist, something you were too tired to fight back against. Right when you were too worn out, you felt a sharp needle against your arm, and you fell asleep on his chest.

[sugar-omi]

OMFG DUDE I was thinking abt coves dick again (as one does 🤭) and just realized w the dick size math that cove prolly bought normal condoms before yall went ‘all the way’ bc he didn’t kno he was huge (like u said in that one ramble like “move ur arm” “that’s not my arm”)

so when yall actually get into it and he tries to put it on u just have an awkward moment where he’s like

“it’s too small🧍‍♂️”

and now he’s apologizing for ‘ruining’ ur ‘real’ first time together and ur torn between comforting him that he didn’t ruin shit and laughing bc usually when guys say that it’s a fucking lie but he’s actually so deadass and u can see it the way the rubber doesn’t even accommodate his tip 😭💀

then u gotta tell him it’s okay to hold off until yall get bigger condoms or ur okay going raw if he is 🤭🤭🤭

-🗑️

ARGHH YOU ARE NOT HELPING MY ACCIDENTAL CREAMPIE BRAINROT. "the way the rubber doesnt even accommodate his tip" ohhh god biting my lips off my face rn. i can't fucking....

he would be too scared to go raw, especially first time. he knows that's a demon he's not ready to face (if you ask, he'll say he worried about any accidental children. but deep, deep in his mind. he knows something will, and does, click when you do it raw and he cums in you the first time...)

mmm, there's a few different ways to go with this...

because I can see cove waiting, im sure he does. he does wait, he wants things to be perfect (as perfect as 2 virgins fucking for the first time can be) and for you guys to avoid any unwanted scares or accidents.

but I also love the thought of him being impatient..

he buys the "right" condoms the second time around, and it doesn't look exactly right... but it's definitely not as small as last time...

decides to go with it after a bit of inner turmoil... "..maybe it's meant to fit that way? I thought it was supposed to go all the way to the base, though. its a bit tight, too... fuck, it'd be way too embarrassing to get the size wrong again. not that y/n would bully me about it or something, but... argh, I really want this to be perfect too. and I wanna go all the way with her..."

or even if he buys the right size, perhaps doesn't realize, or chooses the thin condoms since that's what was left. doesn't realize how different the thin ones are, especially of they're the ultra thin.

eitherway, all~~ circles back to right now. he's sinked into you, and he is gentle, he wants your first time to be romantic after all. but as he gets closer n closer to the edge, he gets a bit excited, his hips thrusting deeply into you.. all he can think about is how much he loves you, your pretty sounds, your body pressed against his, and the tight heat of your cunt.

doesn't realize when it breaks, not really anyway. gasps and moans because fuck you feel so hot inside, so wet and perfect... too far gone to think about the sudden change in sensation. and when he finishes, he definitely doesn't think about it. too lost in the feeling of his cum filling up the "condom" and your walls tightening around him as you finish too.

also love the thought that regardless of if he buys the right size or the thin, or if he remembers to pinch the tip of the rubber, all that sweet stuff.. he still ends up cumming inside you. not noticing if he teared the rubber in his hurry to be inside you already (blame teenage hormones, it's not his fault yeah 🙏)

of course not blowing his full load inside you, but i like to think that he cums so much, its really a miracle he doesn't break the rubbers from that amount alone... either way it's gonna leak out, n even just that little bit..

but regardless of how it happens, once he gets past the initial stress of it all n you get past the scare. his mind is totally filled with thoughts of actually coming inside you..

n even his dreams are filled with the image of your cunt all twitchy and wet with fluids n a bit puffy from all the fucking, n having earlier ate you out in the dream, n his fat load of cum leaking out of your cunt...

can't look you in the eye. he's totally ruined... probably can't look his parents in the eye either since he promised to be responsible, but now he's dreaming and fantasizing of doing otherwise..

[poeticmystery]

niccolo bf headcannons, how would he be with his gf, particularly a shy girl :))

oh my gosh he’d be insufferable (but also the sweetest guy ever?)

i did this with a few headcanons and a short imagine cus i didn’t know what one you’d like! enjoy!! 🤍

- this boy would love to see you get all flustered from his compliments, or hide your face to not let him see how red it’s getting. - if you were diverting your eyes from him for whatever reason, he’d definitely make you look at him - “lemme see that pretty face” - “c’mon ma, i don’t bite” - “unless you want me to” - all jokes aside, if someone were to talk over you when you were finally trying to speak your mind, he’d make sure you knew he was paying attention atleast. - “shut up and let her finish, yeah?” - he’s the only one allowed to tease you for how flustered you get - someone else goes “oooh she’s blushing, nicco, look whatcha do to her,” - he is pissed - “yeah? what about it?” he’d snap, knowing you wouldn’t want him to be too rude, but simultaneously not wanting you to be embarrassed - he’d def say some choice words to them later, regardless of if they were his friend or not 😊 - if you wanted him to, he’d order for you at a restaurant, or things of that sort

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

you and niccolo were sat on his couch, with brando and vittorio sitting beside the two of you, chatting mindlessly about something trivial. you had your legs splayed over niccolo’s thighs, his hands holding them in place.

you were reading a book, one that he had gotten you a few days ago, his excuse being he had just saw it and remembered you wanting it. the reality had been that he had waited for it to be released, just to be able to purchase it for you as soon as it did.

either way, he’d never forget the way your face had lit up when he presented it to you. with your expression, it could’ve been guessed that he gave you some crazy expensive gift, rather than just a fifteen euro book.

the boys continued talking, though nicco’s gaze kept flashing back towards you, as if he couldn’t bare to draw his eyes away for longer than a couple minutes.

you finished the chapter you were on, putting a small slip of random paper in as a bookmark.

he turned towards you, noticing the look in your eyes. it was always like he could read you like the books you always had your nose stuck in.

brando and vitto turned the conversation to just be between the two of them, letting niccolo talk to you rather than them.

you started chatting about the book, slowly changing subjects into how your day was. he listened close, occasionally nodding you along so you felt more comfortable letting him know about all these things.

that was, until brando started tapping the boy’s shoulder, trying to get his attention. you stopped talking, wanting niccolo to be able to talk to his friends, not wanting him to feel obliged to listen to you ramble.

this made him suddenly frustrated. he could’ve dealt with the incessant hits against his shoulder. but now that you had stopped talking, now that he wasn’t able to listen to your sweet voice, he was upset.

“bro, ‘m right in the middle of a conversation here, fuck off,” nicco sassed towards his friend, causing him to hold his hands up defensively and turn back to vitto.

then, his voice softened as he looked back towards you, “go ahead, babe, ‘m listening,” he urged, his eyes scanning over your face.

you shrugged, “it’s fine, you can talk to your friends,” you assured, opening up your book again.

“c’mon, please,” he practically begged, just wanting to hear more about how you were doing. he disliked doing this in front of his friends, as he hated for people to see the softer side of him, especially people like vitto.

still, he’d do anything for you, and he’d do it a thousand times more.

“tell me more about the girl you saw in the halls. what was her name? ludo?”

it was as if a switch in you flipped, as you nodded at the mention of your friend, going into a more in depth story about the dark-haired girl.

you had no clue what was yet to come with her.

baby taglist: lmk if you’d like to be added!

divider by h-aewo!

[finniestoncrane]

hey i'm here to see a movie in your wee cinema!!

i'd love to see gn!reader sit in the front row with ssktjl!boomer, watching an action movie while eating strawberry ice cream<33 (sorry if the requests are suppose to be more straightforward, i like the lil set up you have and wanted to play along heheh)

also congratulations on 2k followers!! i've been following you since the peak batman 2022 days and you're a writer i always look forward to seeing on my dash. i'd love to be entered into your commission raffle too if that's okay?? thank you for your writing, you're a real treasure<33

ah, thank you bug!! i'm glad we're growing from terrible boy to terrible boy together ;-; and of course!! 💚🩷 cw: blood, injury, hurt/comfort (physical wounds), flirting, drunk george 🔞minors dni🔞 send a request • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie2k (to follow or to block)

Usually you wouldn't answer your door in the middle of the night. And you certainly wouldn't answer it to the loud, threatening pounding that had shaken you awake. But as you approached it, nearest solid object in hand as your only weapon, you felt your body relaxing. Outside of the door you could hear George's voice, mumbling.

Drunk. Again. And no doubt making an attempt at a late night 'root' as he often put it.

But when you swung open the door, you found him slumped between two men, beaten, bruised and bloody, and filled with questions which were quickly answered by his reluctant assistants.

"Nah, you were right, he's completely wasted. Didn't stop him trying to fist fight three guys in the parking lot, though. All because they claimed that the Flash was the best one in the Justice League. He never stood a chance."

And when two patrons had decided they couldn't watch him be beat to death, regardless of how much they felt he deserved it, your address was the one he had chosen to give them.

"Great. Well, thanks. I can take him from here."

As they passed him over to you, George smiled, his mouth filled with blood that spilled over his lips as he spoke.

"Ah, see! I knew you'd be good for it, babe!"

With his arm around your shoulder, you practically carried him over to your sofa and let him slump down into it. His eyes were closed over, but he was still grinning, a wide and stupid smile that was irritatingly pulling at your heart strings.

You snapped your fingers in front of his face, calling his name until he opened his eyes and focused, very slowly, on you.

"Hey! Don't fall asleep yet. I need to make sure you're ok, first."

"Cos you like me?"

"Hm. More that I don't want a dead guy on my couch."

He laughed, snorting incredulously.

"Yeah... it's cos you like me."

The moment you began to wipe away the blood on his face, however, he made an attempt to bat you away.

"Oi! Get off, I'll be fine! I think I can take a beating without needing to be looked after, thank you very much."

George stood up from the couch and immediately stumbled over nothing, falling back down with a heavy thud.

"Come on, Harkness. Don't act like you're so tough and brave. I think you've forgotten how many times you've been on this couch in a drunken stupor. Now, stop with the machismo and let me look at you, idiot."

You took his face in your hands, and though he stubbornly wiggled at first, he calmed down as your thumb grazed across his cheekbone, your eyes focused on his as you surveyed the damage, the blooming bruises in the corners that spread to the bridge of his nose.

"You're hands... are so soft..."

He smiled at you, a genuine, gentle grin that you couldn't help but return.

"... I can think of somewhere else that might need some attention from them."

"Aw, come on."

As you stood up and turned from him, hiding your smile, you could hear him groaning.

"What? What was wrong with that? I thought you were going to look after me? Nurse? Nurse! Oi! Get back here for my sponge bath!"

[infizero]

you guys ever think about how shadow was manipulated and used by people his whole life. not just that, but almost exclusively used by people who are technically his family. constantly having his emotions preyed upon and being tricked into doing terrible things. being told his whole life who he is and what his purpose is by other people. being dehumanized and treated as just a weapon rather than an actual person, to the point where that's how he viewed himself. identity and autonomy are soooo fucking integral to shadow's character and it makes me crazy

[bumblingbabooshka]

In 'vis a vis' Janeway doesn't mention B'Elanna in the list of people who're worried about Tom which implies that B'Elanna didn't report the fact that "Tom" grabbed her arm, called her a disappointment and broke up with her (as Janeway definitely would have mentioned it as evidence of him acting strange if she knew about it) which makes sense on several different fronts but also makes me scream and cry loud enough to break glass.

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[ A Picnic... ]

Part 1 of 2 💐

@mattodore @morrigan-sims