#remember when i doodled patton eating a heart and went

[dystopiagnome]

Halloween horror musical plan thing with the besties! I was handed Patton as Carrie White, my beloved and girlie did I wanna <3

[brandstifter-sys]

Sonnets

Word Count: 2144 (Ao3)

Pairing: Dukexiety with some Creativitwins

Rating: T+

Warnings: Sexual themes, brotherly angst, talk of death

Roman finds a journal and assumes it’s Remus’ but when Remus says it’s not his Roman leaves him with it, so he has some time to read. Little does he know what will come from perusing that book.

-----

Remus was chaos, he didn't bend to anyone else's rules unless he wanted to. Almost nothing was off the table for him—gore, violence, monsters, pain—but he had limits. Don't steal Janus' hat when he isn't holding or wearing it, because an angry Janus meant silence, or worse being silenced and alone. Never ever get too gross with Patton, because he will scream and cry and flash those hideous puppy dog eyes! Stay at least 6 feet away from Logan or suffer through a lecture on how little influence the duke held. Never let Roman hurt himself so bad he can't heal. And never ever read Virgil's diaries. 

Remus was happily throwing shurikens at a large canvas with paint balloons, having fun despite only hitting the ones filled with red. It was just a little annoying to only have one color on a solid white background, and even more annoying when it was Roman's colors staring at him. Roman hadn't been much of a good brother in the past few years, and it stung to think about how they drifted apart. How almost everyone ran from him to Roman. It hurt to be so lonely. 

"Greetings, Your Disgrace!" Roman said as he entered the castle atrium suddenly. Remus threw another star that lodged itself in the canvas with a splash and a thump, and grinned manically at the unsettled prince. 

"Well if it isn't MacBetty himself!" Remus said and cracked his neck sharply, "What hell did I probably unleash on you today?" 

"Don't flatter yourself," Roman scoffed and held up a black journal with sparkling green trim, "You left this in the common area." 

"Did I?" he asked and righted his head with a sickening pop. He was as bad as Roman about collecting cool journals and never filling them, so it could be his, even if he didn't recognize it. Roman handed it to him and crossed his arms. 

"It would appear so. If Logan yells at me for leaving my notes lying about, he will certainly yell at me for yours." 

Remus hummed softly and ran his fingers over the cover, ignoring the jab. The trim pricked his fingers as they glided over it. It was a nice journal, but definitely not something he conjured up. He supposed it might have been a gift, but that would mean someone made something for him—someone other than Janus, and maybe just one other side, but he remembered every gift Virgil ever gave him.

"He likes to yell. Are you sure this is mine?" he questioned, still learning the rise and fall of the trim.

"I assumed, considering the design. I don't like to open other people's journals," Roman answered. Remus knew he was scared of leafing through it, probably expecting some security monster popping out the second he opened it. He didn't blame him for that one, but it stung nonetheless.

"Me neither, but now I'm curious!" Remus laughed and opened to a random page. It was all hand-written poetry. Interesting!

"It's a poetry book! Wanna hear one? It could be a hint!" Remus wiggled his eyebrows. Roman let out a short sigh but went tense. 

"I have other things to do. I came to drop off the book and now I must depart. Farewell." Roman bowed and sank out with flourish. He left far too quickly for comfort.

"Love you too, nice seeing you again, don't be a stranger," Remus pouted and went back to his room, too bummed to paint anymore. 

  He rose up and flopped on his bed with the journal open. Some angsty poetry might make him feel better. He got comfy and let his eyes traverse the page

My mouth is dry Sugary sweet and kind Choking me with my own tongue Out of everything, that saccharine isn't a lie

Remus pursed his lips. That one was really short, and with the talk of lies, he had to wonder. Was this actually Roman's? Did he want to share this with him covertly? Remus bit back a squeal at the thought and kept reading with some hope. 

Lost in translation Obstinate and selfish Get over yourself Avoidance builds pressure Never any quiet when you snap

Remus giggled, knowing exactly who that one was about! Someone pissed the author off! And he knew that that person pissed Roman off a lot! He turned the page, expecting to learn more about this author, believing they could be his brother wanting to reconnect. He was a little surprised to find a skull doodled in the corner but brushed it off.

I want to pull him from the shadows and into my heart Will he see me? Will he disappear if I reach for his hand? Am I blind and staggering in desperation? Someone like him would be better without me Someone like him deserves someone better No star deserves to succumb to a black hole

That one hurt. Remus wiped away the tears forming in his eyes. He knew that feeling all too well. The one side who made him want to obey, the side that made his heart flutter like the bats in his tummy—that side was his best friend and then he left. He missed his partner in crime and he wished that Virgil would come back, just for a visit, and spend time with him again. But that wasn't happening and he had a whole book to read about an author he could really connect with, Roman or not.

He went through several poems that were angsty and angry, full of self-loathing. With each piece he read, the more he doubted it was Roman. The language wasn't formal enough and it didn't match his style at all! It was good stuff, most of it, and Remus kind of hoped the real author would be willing to collaborate with him. He liked this guy.

Like the sun overhead, you're on fire The big man has a little golden boy Pompous and cruel with haughty desire Which one of us are you gonna destroy?

Darkness and shadow that cannot be lit Overshadowing you to make it stop Use that hubris to land another hit I'll keep fighting until the curtains drop

You think you're Hercules when you're so weak Rise like a phoenix Icarus, just try  Maybe you'll learn what it means to be meek Until that day you won't see me cry

I will rain on your parade every damn time Stopping stupidity is my worst crime

Okay so that one threw him for a loop. It would take a few minutes to piece it together. Remus decided that he could assume it was about Roman this time. Princey loved the classics and he had a pet phoenix. This author had some beef with him! Remus hoped for more anger at Roman with the next poem, because he certainly had enough pent up with the snobby, best-friend stealing, always got the spotlight prince. He didn’t get that catharsis, he got more than he bargained for.

I find comfort in breathing in his scent Even if his hands are mine for tonight If he asks, I don't know where his clothes went What I'm doing is wrong but it feels right

If I close my eyes I can taste his kiss A dream in a nightmare clouding my mind Hearing my name on his lips would be bliss To pin him down, our fingers intertwined

I long to stare into piercing jade pools So he thinks of me while I stake my claim I want him to never want to let go I always thought that love was just for fools But on his green sash, love, or something, came I almost regret that he'll never know

This was definitely not a book the author wanted to share. Remus was pretty sure that his face was going to melt off. Now he really wanted to figure out who wrote these! Someone actually liked him like that at some point! It definitely wasn't Princey in that poem—Remus still had the sash mentioned! He was just the tiniest bit turned on, but most of his hype went into his famous wiggles.

"You're so dead!" 

Remus jolted up and beamed. Virgil never stopped by anymore, so when he popped up threateningly, Remus was too happy to care or put the pieces together.

"And how do you wanna kill me? I have some suggestions!" he sang and shimmied. Virgil scowled and crossed his arms. 

"Have Janus wipe your memory and give it back." 

"What, the book?" Remus questioned and held it up. Virgil snatched it and held it to his chest protectively. Remus' eyes widened in horror.

"You wrote all that?! And I read it!? Oh no no no no no! I had no idea—I'll get Hisster Myde and scrub it away with steel wool! Dammit I am so sorry, Sca–Virgil!" Remus yelped and got up to pace. His only rule about Virgil, broken! The only rule he wanted to follow—tarnished!

"Were you about to call me 'Scabby Doo' again?" Virgil scoffed, hiding the fear and hurt he felt. 

"No, 'Scare Bear,' something kinda cute but that’s not important right now!" Remus answered, "I read your stuff without asking! I might be a crazed Camus Stranger boy, but I have some standards!" 

"Remus. Breathe. You're gonna wipe this trash from your memory and it'll be okay," Virgil tried to soothe him, only for the duke to go rigid. 

"Trash!?" Remus snarled and spun on his heels and marched up to Virgil until the lumbering emo hit the wall, confused and scared. 

"It's not trash! I know trash! I eat it for breakfast! That book holds some of the best stuff my critical creative ass has read in ages!" Remus snapped and glared up at him with a fire in his eyes. 

"What?" 

"Those poems are great! I was gonna find the author and beg on my knees like a needy subby bitch to collab with him because holy shit! I felt something with each one!" 

"Even the one with the skull doodle on the page?" Virgil squeaked, his face a beautiful shade of red. Remus smiled sadly. 

"Yeah, that one hit a little too close to home. I got all teary eyed. Thinking about it now after reading that saucy sonnet, it really hurts!" 

"I uh—" Virgil stammered, "I'm, uh, 'm sorry for the sash and the whole—"

"If you apologize for anything else I am going to lip wrestle that apology away!" Remus cut him off, "Because dammit, Virgil, I love you, even if you don't feel the same way anymore. No more self-hate and no more doubting yourself." 

"Puppy," Virgil said and finally took back some control, guiding Remus back and having him sit down, "I can't promise I'll be able to stop that completely, but if you can stand a little bit of it, I wouldn't mind making that collab a date." 

"Really!?" Remus grinned making Virgil's eyeshadow turn purple, "Can we paint too? And watch scary movies? And make out? And then try and woo each other with some dark prose until one of us caves and asks the other to be his boyfriend? And then f—" 

"Yeah," Virgil cut him off and pressed a finger to Remus' lips, "Except for the part about caving. Will you–I mean, only if you want to, would you–and it’s cool if you say ‘no’ since things might be a little weird but—”

“Band-aid, Emoraptor!” Remus cut him off, like he used to do back in the day when Virgil started down one of his nervous tangents.

“Maybe be my boyfriend now?" Virgil said quickly and winced.

"Yes!" Remus cheered and dragged Virgil into a hug, tumbling on the sheets, "Loom over me like a cypress tree and stay with me until I taste death for a night." 

"Stay here and cuddle until we pass out like touch starved gremlins? Only if you visit me in the abyss until this world calls," Virge mused and wrapped his arms around the duke, curling around him protectively. 

"And then the next," Remus hummed softly and kissed his hand, “But you’re always in my dreams!” Virgil buried his face in Remus’ neck and smiled against his skin. Who would have thought that they would wind up here?

Roman sat on his bed and stared at the collage of pictures he had on the wall. In the very center was an old drawing of him and Remus in front of a castle. He sighed wistfully and stared at it, admiring Remus' work. He hoped that sneaking into Virgil's room was worth it—he wanted Remus to be happy even if he couldn't provide that joy. Maybe one day he’d be able to, but until then, he hoped he got his best friend and brother together to make some amends if not more.

[izzyfandoms]

Through Your Ears And Mine

SHIPS: Dukemile

CHARACTERS: Remus Sanders, Emile Picani

WARNING: Remus eats something gross

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @aj-draws @phantomofthesanderssides @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread @mrbubbajones @glassferns @pun-master-logan @gayturtlez @k1ngtok1

Masterpost

A Series Of Soulmate AUs Masterpost

Remus always knew when he was about to switch hearing with his soulmate.

His ears warmed and started to tingle, and he always had a few second warning until he lost his own hearing, and started to hear through his soulmate’s ears. It always lasted at least five seconds, and never more than half a minute, though mostly somewhere in the middle, and usually didn’t give him too much information, though he enjoyed it every time.

He often heard cartoons, and he’d managed to piece together that his soulmate was a therapist through the numerous snippets of patients talking. Once, he’d heard them call his soulmate ‘doc,’ which was as close to a name or nickname as Remus had ever gotten to hearing.

Whenever he heard music, it was almost always Disney or from cartoons, which painted quite the picture of what Remus’s soulmate was like.

He seemed cute and sweet and kind, based on his taste and his choice of career, and absolutely nothing like Remus, himself.

But everyone said that opposites attracted, and Remus already knew that his soulmate was exactly his type. That was how soulmates worked, after all.

Unfortunately, Remus’s voice stopped working whenever he heard through his soulmate’s ears, which made it pretty difficult to leave a message, and the unpredictability of when it happened made it equally hard to plan ahead. He was never much of a planner, though, and was content to just let life happen to him.

They couldn’t really use their soulbond to find each other, but Remus was still happy with what it was, and listening to his soulmate was always the best part of his day.

He’d find him when he found them, and though Remus was impatient, he wasn’t the kind of person to just go out and find him himself.

When he heard the warmth and tingling in his ears, he was listening to music – it was loud and crude, just his taste, but nothing his soulmate hadn’t heard through him before, so he kept it going when the world faded out, and his soulmate’s side faded in.

“-are the Crystal Gems, we’ll always save the day!”

Ah, Steven Universe. Remus’s cousin, Patton, had teamed up with Roman to make Remus watch the show with them, so he was familiar with the theme tune. It also wasn’t the first time he’d overheard his soulmate watching it.

“And if you think we can’t, we’ll always find a way!”

Remus drummed his fingers on his knee in time to the music.

“That’s why the people of this world believe in: Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl and Steven!”

Only a moment after the theme-tune was finished, it faded out and the song Remus was listening to faded back in. It was almost over, and Remus suddenly realised how loud it was, especially in comparison to the song he’d just overheard. Hopefully his soulmate didn’t have sensitive ears.

Remus huffed, flopping back against the couch, and keeping the song at the deafening volume.

That was boring. He’d been hoping for something a little more interesting – some snippet that would tell him more about his soulmate and their life – but apparently fate had had different ideas.

Remus got up, ripping the headphones from his head and dropping them and his phone onto the couch cushions. He went over to his kitchen and decided to make the most terrible snack he could possibly think of. After a moment of consideration, tapping his foot on the kitchen floor tiles and scanning his surroundings, he decided on ketchup and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

For a second, he wondered if he should microwave the ingredients, making it more of a soup, but he decided against it as he really didn’t want to wait that long.

He mixed the two ingredients in the first bowl he could find, grabbing a spoon from the drawer and then sitting on his kitchen counter, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged.

He ate slowly, savouring the sweet and sour mix of food that he knew would absolutely horrify everyone he’d ever met. Remus would have to text Roman about his snack lately, simply to nauseate and annoy his twin brother. It tasted good, in Remus’s opinion, but he was always one who liked peculiar flavours.

When Remus finished his snack, he dropped the bowl into the sink, alongside all of the other dishes that had been left there for days. He could clean up another time.

(He would not.)

The moment he took a step out of the kitchen, the warmth and tingling in his ears suddenly resumed.

Remus froze in place. It was uncommon for these things to happen back-to-back like this, but not completely underheard of. Once, a few years ago, it had happened twelve times in one day – twice an hour for six hours in a row – and afterwards Roman had told him that that had meant he’d been close to meeting his soulmate, but had missed the opportunity. After that, Remus had sulked for a week.

Hope began to bubble up inside of him, and Remus immediately grinned. He slumped against the wall, and prepared to listen to what he assumed was likely going to be more Steven Universe.

Instead, when his hearing faded out, and his soulmate’s faded in, he heard something else.

“Gosh, I really hope you can hear this! My friend told me to do this, said it worked for him. I recorded this on my phone, ‘cos you can’t normally hear my voice,” the voice was quick, and it took a moment for it to click in Remus’s head that this must have been his soulmate’s voice. He would’ve gasped if he could have. Instead his voice was stuck in his throat, like it always was when he heard through his soulmate’s ears. “So, um, my address is...”

There was only just enough time for the address to finish, before the sound faded out, and the silence of Remus’s apartment faded back in.

He was frozen in place, his eyes wide.

The voice was male, at least from Remus could tell, which made sense as Remus was gay, and therefore only really attracted to men. It was perfect, and already the most attractive voice Remus had ever heard in his life, and he never wanted to stop hearing it.

A minute passed, and then Remus jumped to work. He sped through his apartment, sifting through the mess of drawers – and making an even bigger mess – as he searched for a pen and a piece of paper. He went over the address again and again and again in his head as he moved, making sure not to forget it and memorizing it quickly.

When he finally found a scrap piece of paper – that had a doodle of a man being beheaded on the back – he immediately scribbled the address over the back.

He stared at it for a few seconds, clutching the paper so tightly that he almost ripped it in half.

Then, he made his mind up.

The plans he had already made for tonight, meeting up with his parents for their fortnightly dinner together, immediately slipped from his head. He had to go to this address.

He rushed over to the couch, picking up his phone and searching up the address, and his eyes lit up and his heart skipped a beat when he realised: his soulmate was close.  

A two-hour long drive. Possibly less, if Remus didn’t care about breaking laws and ignoring the speed limit, which he truly did not care about.

He could go to that address right now. He could meet his soulmate today.

Remus had to. He would.

He crumpled the paper up into a ball, shoving it into his pocket along with the pen. He then rushed through his apartment like a hurricane, making an even bigger mess of the place as he searched through drawers for his car keys. For once, he was annoyed with himself at his lack of order, as he usually didn’t have much of an idea of where everything was. Normally he didn’t mind, but right now he was in enough of a hurry that he hated it.

When he finally found his keys, he turned and left his apartment.

He forgot to shut the door behind him, but it would be a while until he remembered that.

He drove faster than the speed limit when he could, but apparently fate was on his side, as he wasn’t at any point pulled over. He was halfway through his drive when the hearing switched again, and, for once in his life, Remus was responsible, and he pulled over to listen.

It was the same voice – another recorded message – and Remus’s heart skipped a beat in his chest.

It started with an awkward laugh – endearing and adorable and it made fireworks go off in Remus’s heart – and then the voice spoke again.

“Maybe I should’ve started with my number,” his soulmate said. “And my name. I got a little ahead of myself there, sorry.” Another awkward laugh. “Um... my name is Emile Picani and my number is...”

Remus grabbed the pen that he’d stuffed into his pocket and scribbled the number across the back of his right hand as it was recited. The hearing faded out, and he was left staring at his hand when the sound of the cars zooming past him faded back in.

After a moment, he dug around in his pockets for his phone, and retrieved it quickly.

He wasted no time adding the contact to his phone, and then texting it immediately.

REMUS

would it be weird for me to come to ur address right now

If Remus were any other man, he would have realised how weird of an opening that was. However, he was not any other man, he was Remus, and that was the best he could come up with.

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

EMILE

Umm....

I guess that depends on who you are!

Remus could practically hear that sweet, awkward laugh in his head, and he couldn’t wait for the next time he’d get to hear it in his ears again. Hopefully, that next time would happen face-to-face.

REMUS

soulmate

ur voice is pretty

Remus drummed his fingers on his knee as he waited impatiently for the next text. It only took a couple minutes for the next text to come.

EMILE

Oh my gosh!!! Wow!!!!!

So it worked?

My brother told me it would but i was so nervous!

It worked for him and his soulmate but i wasn’t sure it would for us!!!!

All bonds are different right?

REMUS

it worked

can i come then?

EMILE

Gosh okay!!

I don’t have work today and it would be jut wonderful to finally meet you!!!

*just

As long as it doesn’t inconvenience you of course

REMUS

Im already close

And he was. A quick glance at his GPS made it known that he was already only an hour away. Just an away from his soulmate’s place, and from finally meeting his soulmate himself.

Remus was ecstatic.

He stuffed his phone into his pocket and restarted his drive.

Again, he drove over the speed limit, but, again, it seemed that fate was on his side, and he wasn’t caught and pulled over.

He got a few complaints from pedestrians when he sloppily parked just down the street from his soulmate’s apartment building, and one even kicked his tire. He ignored them all without hesitation, though, and only just remembered to lock his car behind him as he raced down the street: not quite running, but certainly hurrying.

He passed pedestrians that he paid no mind, darting through the crowd, and then stopped in his tracks when he passed a small stall selling flowers.

Remus paused, his mind moving a mile a minute, before he bought the first bouquet that caught his eye – it was rainbow: a bright, mixture of colours that Remus hoped his soulmate would like.

He wasn’t usually the nice, romantic type, but even Remus wanted to make a good first impression.

It didn’t take long for him to get inside the apartment building – one of the tenants opened the door just before him, and kept holding it open for Remus when they saw him following behind.

He climbed the stairs – he figured running up them was better than taking the elevator, and risking having to stop at every floor. It didn’t take long for him to find his soulmate’s apartment; he checked the address once on the way, and, though his hand-writing was messy and unreadable to most, he knew he was in the right place.

Remus stopped at the door, and knocked loudly.

But before just before it could open, the familiar warmth and tingling of his ears returned, and the moment the door swung open, he still heard it, but through the ears of the man now in front of him, instead of his own.

The man in front of him – his soulmate, his soulmate – was cute. Very, very cute. He had curly hair and wide eyes, and clothes that were pink and beige and neat and clean, as opposed to Remus’s, which were always ripped and messy.

They stared at each other, as they could not yet talk.

Emile’s eyes kept flicking between Remus’s face and the bouquet, and it was only when their hearing switched back that he remembered to hand the flowers to his soulmate.

He held them out, and Emile took them and held them to his chest.

“Thank you.”

[the-sanders-sides]

bummed out birthdays and bad baking

a fic for roman’s birthday! the other sides seem to have forgotten roman’s birthday (again)  and roman is sad. but wait, all hope is not lost! it seems like someone does care about him!

2,115 words, platonic dlamp, hurt/comfort, cw for negative self talk and maggots. characters: roman, remus, virgil, patton, logan, janus, character thomas (mentioned)

Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday to me. Happy Birthday dear Roman. Happy Birthday to me. 

Roman blew out the single candle he placed on the cupcake he conjured for himself. He smiled bitterly. Another year, another day of disappointment. It was nearing the end of his birthday day, and the other sides still didn’t care. Why would they anyway? He hid himself away too much. He only talked to them when necessary, and when he did, he was a jerk, and they were rightfully jerks right back at him. Of course the other sides didn’t care about something as insignificant as Roman’s birthday.

“Ohhh, Roman!” Remus called rising into Roman’s room without knocking. Roman flinched seeing the other’s signature green. He put his cupcake down on the desk beside him and drew his sword in case there was a need to block an incoming mace. 

“Happy birthday, Remus,” Roman said coldly.  

“I got you a cake, Rom!” Remus said. He giggled as he held it out for Roman to take. Roman took the pink three tiered cake and set it down. He eyed it suspiciously, cut it in half with his sword and watched maggots squirm inside it. Roman turned around and held a hand to his mouth trying not to retch. His face crinkled in disgust.

“Mm, maggots, nice. You outdo yourself every year, Remus,” Roman cringed, grimacing. He painfully laughed as he turned around, using a hand to block the cake out of his field of view, but his attempts were fraught, because Remus was eating the cake with his hands and the disgusting creatures were writhing all over his brother. Roman's shoulders tensed, and he turned around again. This time, he actually felt a bit of vomit in his mouth that time. 

“Want some?” Remus asked.

“No thanks bro, you can have it all. I appreciate the thought.” Roman quickly conjured a normal strawberry cake for Remus and covered his eyes as he turned around to face his brother. 

“This is for you,” he said. Remus took the cake and set it down on the floor beside him. He smashed it with his mace and looked disgusted. 

“Is this strawberry? What the fuck, that’s disgusting. I think I’m gonna vomit. Oh god, I need to go to my room. Can I take the cake I made you?” 

“Please do!” Roman cried, and Remus did. Roman uncovered his eyes, and relaxed when he saw all that was left in his room was strawberry cake splatter. He snapped his fingers to make the mess of a cake disappear and picked up the cupcake he left on his desk. He couldn’t help but think of maggots crawling around in his treat. He gulped. Remus had really gotten to him this time. “I’ll enjoy this later. Better put it in the fridge,” Roman muttered. 

Finding his way to the side’s shared kitchen, Roman left his room and wandered through the hallways of the mindscape. As he approached the kitchen, he heard a few voices. His hand hovered over the doorknob as he listened. Eventually, he was able to make out who was there: Logan, Patton, Virgil, and Janus. 

“Patton, you’re gonna burn it again if you do that,” Logan said.

“Am not!” Patton rebutted. Virgil laughed. 

“You may be a dad, but your cooking skills are pretty- How do I say this gently?” Virgil asked. “They’re good. You’re good at cooking anything other than pasta,” Janus lied. Roman heard Patton huff, and his heart fell. 

Roman’s thoughts spiraled, as did his self-esteem. As he walked back to his room he pondered why the others would exclude him so. Why would they not invite him to a cooking night? They always cooked together! How long had they been doing this without him? Could they really not stand him? Was he not good enough? Would he ever be good enough? 

Roman sighed when he got to his door. He looked at the red, white, and gold decorations he had painstakingly painted years ago and scowled. He hated it. He hated his work and his creations. It looked so disgusting. He scrutinized the door, picking out and filing away in his mind every mistake he found. Every mistake made him feel worse, and he was enjoying this weird form of hurting himself. 

After enough of criticizing himself, Roman entered his room. He set his cupcake down on the same desk as before, sat down on the desk chair, and opened his journal which had been lying there. 

June 4th

No birthday wishes for me this year. Except for Remus of course, but he doesn’t count. It’s his birthday too. But that makes three in a row, I think. I know they stopped caring about me since I became a major jerk, and I haven’t been able to fix that, no matter how hard I try. I see my mistakes everywhere. My door is all messed up. I think I might get rid of it. There are other things I’d like to get rid of, but it’s a dangerous train of thought to go down. It’s strange being self-esteem and having a low one myself. I suppose that means Thomas’s is pretty low too. That’s… not something I like. But being him, I’m not going to get better until he does, and he’s not going to get better until I do. What a vicious cycle. 

A knock on Roman’s door startled him from his writing, and he quickly closed the journal and shoved it in a desk drawer. He got up and walked over the door. He took a deep breath and put on his happy face before opening the door. He was surprised to find Virgil on the other side.

“Hey Virge! What’s up?” Roman asked with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Virgil just rolled his eyes and walked inside. He sat on Roman’s spinny desk chair and spun around. 

“Cut the crap, Princey. Your place reeks of fear and… despair?” Virgil tapped his chin, “No, actually I think it’s disappointment.”  Roman closed the door and shook his head. 

“My dear brother brought me a cake of maggots. It was horrifying. It’s still a bit touching though,” Roman explained. He walked over to his bed, flopped backwards on it, and closed his eyes. Virgil hummed. “Is that feeling sense why you’re here?”

“Nah, I also got you something. Took ages to get Remus to conjure this and not have some gross trick,” Virgil said. Roman’s eyes shot open. 

“You got me something? What for?” 

“Don’t tell me you forgot your own birthday. That’d be a new low,” Virgil said. Roman’s face flushed. Virgil fished something out of his jacket pocket and threw it at Roman. It hit the prince right in the face and bounced off him onto the bed. Virgil winced as Roman yelped.

“Ow! Why did you think that was a good idea? Thomas isn’t exactly a sports star,” Roman complained. Virgil snickered. Roman picked up the mystery object and looked at it.

“Black lip-”

“Yeah, sorry the lipstick is black. I kept trying to get Remus to make it rainbow, but he could not make anything that bright and full of joy. So we settled on black, and I made sure it was normal.” Roman’s heart flooded with joy and he couldn’t help the big, real smile that appeared on his face. Someone cared. Someone really cared about him.

“You emo, don’t you dare apologize. I love it! Thank you so much!” Roman squealed. He got up and rushed over to Virgil and gave him a big hug. Virgil stiffened up, so Roman let go. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever…” Roman poked the other side and grinned even more.

“You like me! Admit it!” Roman teased. Virgil crossed his arms. 

“I’m not saying anything! Anyway, can you help me with something in the kitchen?” 

“Yeah, sure! Lemme just put this on before we go,” Roman said, holding up the lipstick.  Virgil nodded, and Roman walked over to his vanity across the room and carefully watched the mirror as he applied the makeup. At the end, he smacked his lips together making a pop! noise and turned around. Virgil smiled.

“It suits you,” he said. Roman beamed.

“Of course it does. I make everything look good!” Roman declared. “C’mon, I’ll go help you in the kitchen now.”

The two left the room and walked side by side to the kitchen, but as the closer they got to the room, the more dread built up in Roman’s core. Sure, Virgil remembered and did something so unbelievably thoughtful for him, and Roman was forever thankful for it. Yet, the other sides had been baking without him. They always did that together. Or at least that’s what they had Roman think. He really was worthless if the others had to lie about baking without him to keep him happy. The pair got to the kitchen door, but Virgil stopped Roman before he went in.

“You sure you’re okay, Princey? I can feel waves of anxiety bounding off of you,” Virgil asked.

“Of course I am! What ever would I be upset about? You know what they say, nervousness and excitement is one in the same,” Roman feigned. He noticed his real smile had contorted itself into a fake smile and made sure to keep it up.

“I don’t believe you. You know it’s okay to feel bad, right?” Roman laughed. 

“Obviously! Even I’m not that stupid.” Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“So you think you’re stupid then. Just not ‘that’ stupid.” Roman rolled his eyes. 

“Virgil, there’s no need to worry about me. I know my own worth. I am the ego, after all,” Roman said. Before Virgil could continue this, he walked inside the kitchen and saw Janus, Patton, and Logan surrounded by multiple burned batches of brownies. 

“Oh sh-” 

“Roman!”

“Virgil, you were supposed to keep him out of the kitchen until we gave the signal!”

“What’s going on? Why are you guys hiding things from me?” Roman asked. Janus shrugged.

“Uhh, surprise?” Patton said, picking up one of the brownie batches and handing it to Roman. Roman looked at the brownies that were still in the baking tray and saw the messy icing on them that read ‘Happy Birthday Roman! We love you!’ with a small doodle of a crown next to it. Roman’s fake smile dropped entirely and his mouth was agape in shock. 

“He doesn’t like it,” Virgil said dejectedly. 

“Like it… I- I,” Roman broke out into a grin, “I love it!” He set the brownies down on the counter across from him and engulfed the other sides into a big hug. He felt his eyes get teary and tried to blink them away, but he’d be lying if he said some tears didn’t end up on Janus’s cape. “T-Thank you. So much. I didn’t think…”

“You didn’t think we’d remember your birthday. We’ve forgotten in the past. It was quite awful of us, and we would like to apologize for it, as well as make up for it now,” Logan said. Roman nodded and pulled away from the hug. Everyone else followed and dispersed as well. 

“I know I’ve been a big jerk and I don’t deserve all this…”

“Falsehood. You have been rude or a jerk in the past, but we all have as well. Do you think we don’t deserve to be celebrated because of that?” Logan asked. 

“Obviously not, you guys are wonderful!” 

“See my point?” Roman’s eyes widened. 

“Oh. You guys think I’m wonderful?” Roman asked quietly. Patton enveloped Roman in another hug. 

“Of course we do kiddo!” Patton exclaimed. 

“You’re our hero,” Janus said. Roman closed his eyes and buried himself into Patton’s embrace. 

“Thank you. I love you all so much. Sometimes I forget it’s not a one-sided feeling. So, wanna eat the brownies?” Roman asked. 

“You might wanna conjure some. Who knows how edible those are,” Virgil muttered. 

“Nonsense! You all poured so much time into these. I’m going to eat them!” The five sides brought the tray of brownies to the dining table, sat down, and dug in. The kitchen that night was filled with laughter and cries of disgust asking how brownies could be messed up this badly. 

June 5th

So apparently I was wrong. I got birthday wishes this year from everyone. I woke up today after the little party we had in the kitchen feeling happy. I feel inspired and creative and good. And I think Thomas feels pretty good today as well. Maybe this will be our first step in healing. I sure don’t want this feeling to go away.

a/n: hope u enjoyed!! i liked writing it! it was wild writing a fic for roman and not leaving him sad at the end, but it’s his birthday and i needed to give him some joy :p (roman stans be like we hurt roman because we relate too hard)

[nadiestar]

The Lie of Black and White: 4/?

The wedding changed things. The wedding led to Patton apologizing and  Janus opening up. To Logan reminisce and Virgil to re-evaluate. And for  the twins it - well for the twins it led to confrontation, hurt and  facing the mistakes and lies they had made theselves and the others  believe for far too long. (ca. 6500 words)

TW: None really, I guess

Link on Ao3

@aprincehasgotoslay,

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Logan watched the twins. He was unsettled by the situation to put it lightly and he despised it that he hadn’t been of any help as of late. But that had to be expected since the problem here concerned feelings, emotions and the heart. Just not his strong suit, Logan told himself and slowly walked over to the couch to take a seat next to Virgil.

Meanwhile Janus got closer and stood next to Patton, who was still sitting on the coffee table. His eyes were fixed on Remus, who had a worrisome intensity in his eyes and made him question his own safety. Or the safety of all of them.

“Are we going to unravel this now?” Logan asked flatly and shot a look through the round.

Roman and Remus looked at each other, while Virgil stared numbly at the floor and Janus pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. This wouldn’t get them anywhere any time soon, Janus thought but didn’t get a chance to tell Logan that as Patton took the word first.

“We are not. Neither of the two is in the state to explain what is going on.”

“What? You just healed them”, Virgil asked and pointed towards the twins.

Patton shook his head and watched both brothers closely as he answered: “Physically maybe. But both are still in great distress. Admittedly, it is a lot better than before, I finally can differentiate them again but – You are still in no condition to explain this, are you?”

“What do you mean you couldn’t differentiate them? They are obviously not one person”, Logan said slowly sounding agitated, while he fumbled with his hair.

“I know that”, Patton said a little too calmly, “trust me Logan, I do. But – Their – Your feelings have been in complete union this evening. It’s only been for the last few minutes that I can properly tell again which emotion comes from whom. I remember that this happened a few times when you were kids, but it never escalated to such extent before.”

“Why are you making an effort to talk to us and not over us, when you never let us talk anyway?”

All eyes were on Remus. He had asked that question in such an innocent tone that it caught them entirely off-guard. Patton felt like choking and Janus didn’t manage to contain his unease in his eyes anymore.

“What’s your deal Remus?” Virgil asked Remus and glared at him.

Remus moved forwards, his nostril twitching and a dangerous smirk on his lips. Virgil didn’t budge and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“My deal? MY deal? Come ON emo! You know me, you know what I do! You out of all of them I’m the last one to ask to be listened t-”

“Can we not fight? Nobody’s going to get either of you to calm down the second you start this”, Roman stopped Remus in the middle.

For a moment Janus almost saw Remus jumping at his brother’s throat and strangle him. But Remus didn’t do that. Instead he sat back with a pout and stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

Patton exchanged a short glance with Janus and then turned to Roman who looked even more exhausted than a few moments ago. Uncomfortably, Patton cleared his throat and got Roman to look at him.

“What do you want to say Roman?” Patton asked softly.

“I’m just really, really tired. It’s all I can think about.”

And just as he said that Remus yawned next to him, before he could slap his hand over his mouth. That was rather unusual. Neither of the twins ever seemed to be sleepy. Even when all went to bed Roman and Remus always were wide awake and had the same unbreakable amount of energy in the morning.

Janus mused for a second if he should help them and simplify the process, as he suddenly felt a quick glare from Patton and knew better than to use his powers right now. Instead he let Patton handle the situation and watched him suggest to the twins: “Then let’s get you to bed, huh? We can postpone this until tomorrow.”

Remus chuckled and Roman sighed.

“Won’t do padre”, Roman said and hit Remus with his elbow in the ribs, so he stopped giggling, “we don’t need sleep. Like Lo with food.”

“Wait – Specs doesn’t eat? Why though! It’s so much fun! Why wouldn’t you eat?” Remus exclaimed and gave Logan a curious look.

“I can eat. And sometimes I do eat but it doesn’t serve it’s purpose of satisfying my-”

“So, you don’t sh-”

“Anyway!” Roman interrupted his brother before he could start and begin a conversation about Logan’s digestion with said side.

“We recharge when we create something small, meaningless, just for us. Like things that aren’t for Thomas.”

Remus nodded along Roman’s words and chimed in: “Yeah! Like doodling and making ugly vases!”

“You do pottery?” Virgil asked Remus confused, who in return shrugged.

“Sure! It’s a nice exercise. Keeps all of your senses focused on one task. Also, clay is delicious!”

Janus groaned and slap his hand on his face, while Patton watched the twins uncertainly and asked them helplessly: “Then you want to go to your rooms and do that?”

And just as if Patton had flipped a switch in Roman and Remus’s heads, their postures aligned and they stared to him with a creepily identical look. For a moment Patton was thrown back to the first time when he had seen the twins, before he knew their names, before he had learnt that they had taken the place of Creativity. And it bothered him deeply.

“No!” Roman and Remus exclaimed simultaneously.

The four other sides couldn’t help but shiver. They all had taken their time until they have been able to accept that Roman and Remus weren’t the same person anymore. And this began to open old wounds nobody of them had thought were able to be opened again.

It was Logan who found his voice first and asked them as calm as he could: “Do you not want to do your sleep-compensation-activities or do you not want to go to your rooms?”

Their reactions differed. Roman slumped together and Remus tensed up as if he readied himself for a fight. Logan blinked a few times and felt relief wash over him. They still were two people. They still were themselves, Logan told himself quietly and straightened his back.

“So, what is it now? Will you answer me?”

“We don’t want to go back to our rooms”, Roman admitted and looked down to the floor.

Logan frowned and thought about questioning why they didn’t want to go into their rooms, but decided to let it slide. As Roman and Remus were now, neither would probably give him a satisfactory answer and he decided to go and look for solutions instead.

“Well”, Logan proposed, “we have a perfectly fine table where you could doodle on for example. Or we could conjure a pottery station here, if that would be necessary.”

“We can doodle on the table?” Remus said excitedly and Logan scolded himself for phrasing it like he had.

“Not on the table, dumbass! At the table. On a paper”, Roman corrected Remus to Logan’s surprise. “And that actually sound pretty neat right now. We haven’t scribbled together for a while.”

Remus nodded and looked over to Janus as if he waited for him to give them his permission. A bit caught off guard Janus nodded before he threw a look to Patton and asked Remus: “Do you need … privacy for this? Shall we leave you to it?”

“Please don’t.”

…

Patton coughed and got up from the coffee table. Swiftly, he conjured a batch of paper, two boxes of Roman’s favourite crayons and two old iPods onto the dining table and pointed the twins towards them. Then he turned to Logan with a meaningful glance and said: “We won’t distract you then! I’m gonna bake something for our nerves and Logan you could do your research for the new video at the table, right? And Virgil? Would you come and help me choose a recipe?”

Logan didn’t answer and promptly went to the table, summoned his laptop and started working, while Virgil only hesitantly followed Patton into the kitchen. Janus took seat on the edge of the couch and summoned himself the book he was reading at the time, while subtly watching Roman and Remus walking over to the table and take their seats on the opposite side of Logan.

Janus was mostly fixating Remus, who moved more careful and defensive than Janus was used to. The common grounds weren’t Remus’s territory. He hasn’t been in here for a while and never with all the others present. When he took seat to Roman’s right, he looked over to Janus, as if he was checking if he did everything correctly, and Janus felt a harsh sting in his chest that almost made it impossible for him to look back down to his book.

Roman took a piece of paper from the batch and Remus opened one of the crayon boxes. Carefully, Roman adjusted the paper so it lay horizontally in the middle between him and Remus, while Remus took an iPod and searched for a playlist. Roman took the sky-blue crayon and took the right earpiece Remus handed him and Remus took the dark green crayon after he put the left earpiece into his ear. Then Remus drew a line through the middle of the paper, which marked the horizon before Roman then started to work on the sky.

The room quieted down. There was the clacking of Logan typing on his keyboard, the soft scratching of crayons on a paper surface, then and when a light humming from one of the brothers, the clinging of kitchen wear from the kitchen and paper turning from Janus on the couch. Careful steps from Virgil, who let Patton do what he needed and left the kitchen. A light plump from the couch as he let himself drop down next to Janus and started reading something on his phone.

In the corner of his eyes Virgil kept watching the twins. Of course, he did. It was his function to watch out and observe, after all. They were so calm and in peace. He surely wasn’t the only one who noticed, he felt Janus listening und glancing over to them every few minutes, but Virgil could see it differently than the others. The others didn’t know both of them as well as he did. He had spent so many years with Remus jumping, shouting, almost dancing every single second, he was around him. He had seen him throw tantrums, destroy furniture but also rambling about his plans and ideas non-stop when he was in his best moods. Remus was always too much, he always looked too much, he always talked too much, he always lived too much.

And Roman wasn’t so different. He certainly was more collected than Remus and there was a lot more thoughts to his plans but when it came to loudness he could easily compete with Remus. He had a much more prideful approach to talking and asked for a lot more input compared to Remus but he also performed more. It was always about getting the others attention, getting their approval and most importantly their smile. Roman loved it to make them happy.

Virgil gulped. Roman liked it to make him happy. He hadn’t in the beginning, he was reluctant to talk to him but within the Mindscape he remained civil. And eventually, when he had admitted that Virgil was important for Thomas and even important for him, he had started to cheer him up, when he felt bad. He was astoundingly fast to catch on to him. Almost as fast as Remus, from back when they were kids.

Janus nudged him in the side. Virgil stopped himself from yelping, shot him a short glare but didn’t say anything. Janus was just trying to ease him a little out of his head and in a way, he was grateful for the subtility the deceitful side had to himself. He still preferred the subtility over Patton’s Let’s-Talk-About-Our-Feelings policy.

Quietly Janus then started to talk about the book he was reading, something about philosophy and Virgil slowly eased into the conversation.

Patton was completely focusing on his cooking and hoped that he had made the right decision, so everybody could relax a little. It seemed to work for Roman and Remus. It was only half an hour and both already looked a little less exhausted than before. It was fascinating how similar their faces looked, without Remus’s make up. And yet it was very different. The few times he looked out of the kitchen Remus’s expression was always changing, while Roman seemed to be rather focused. Patton could barely believe that they had had trouble differentiating them at first.

He also heard the quiet conversation of Janus and Virgil and the clacking of Logan’s keyboard, which meant that somehow, he had probably managed to help his friends a little. What he didn’t know was that Logan wasn’t researching the topic for their next video but was updating a file he had opened twenty-one years ago. Well, he didn’t have a file on a laptop back then, but since then he had digitalized most of his notes and this one was not different.

It was a file of all sides’ special needs and strengths; along other vital information Logan had cumulated over the years. There were seven files, one which he didn’t need to update anymore but couldn’t bring himself to delete, even though all the information in it had never been useful. And as of now he was he was working on Roman’s and Remus’s. In both he had more question marks than in the others and it had bugged him for the longest time but since he was not allowed to talk about Creativity with either of them, he had never managed to get more information.

And now he knew. Carefully he went over the information he had written down so far: 1. Neither had the ability to heal, Roman seemingly had some sort of resistance towards fire, since he hadn’t been burnt as bad as he should have after sitting in the middle of flames for at least half an hour. Logan assumed that Remus had something alike, maybe some chemicals immunity as he was eating deodorants and other weird products that weren’t meant to be eaten.

2. Then there was the sleeping thing. He should have deduced that one. A- Creativity had never seemed to be tiered either. Not sleeping was a such a simple solution to this question that Logan had simply overlooked it.

3. Illusions. Remus sighed and laid his head on Roman’s shoulder. Really fitting for both of them. A simply way to hide immense sums of information or misleading the others. Bored? He needed to keep an eye on that ability.  Mhm. It could complicate their lives ta a great degree.  Wanna make it move? Especially with them getting along better, they might be tempted – Yeah! – to try and…

Logan stopped to try and concentrate on his notes and looked over the edge of his screen. Remus had pulled out the earplug from the iPod. With his thumb he stroked over the edge of the paper and suddenly there was a socket for the earplug. Quickly Logan blinked and slightly sat up in his chair so he could see better how Remus plugged the earplug in. With a wave Roman brushed over the paper and suddenly the landscape started to move.

Fascinated Logan rose up in his chair and watched the scene on the paper change. Neither Roman nor Remus noticed their spectator but Janus certainly did and had the vivid imagery of little Curiosity and the first Creativity sitting on the floor in the living room and just doing their own things until Curiosity suddenly saw what Creativity was doing, forgot what he was focusing on and got enticed with Creativity’s project.

Patton also saw the scene from the kitchen and walked outside to see what the twins were doing. Interested in their drawing he asked the two: “What are you two creating?”

Both twins looked up and the picture stopped too. The people in the picture also looked up to Patton as if they could see him despite only being two-dimensional.

“Just a silly story”, Roman explained and felt the need to hold his hands over the picture.

“It does look like fun though! Do you want to show it to us?”

“It’s PG, popsicle”, Remus interjected dryly.

Patton watched Remus closely and fought again for a smile in his face.

“That is okay. A little PG is okay. That is what I am here for, isn’t it? If you wanna show us you can show it to us.”

Both brothers looked at each other for a second. They shrugged simultaneously and said: “Sure.”

And so, they left their spot at the table, Roman took the paper and Remus the earplugs. Carefully, Roman placed the paper on the TV-screen which then became the picture on the actual screen, while Logan and Patton took a seat on the couch next to the two other sides. Remus meanwhile plugged the earplugs into the TV, walked a little backwards and the cable got longer in his hands and the two earpieces turned into two joysticks.

Sloppily Remus let himself plump onto the floor and waited for Roman to join him. Left from Remus Roman sat down criss-crossed and took the controller. Immediately the picture started to move and sound.

Two characters, a lanky, tall one with green clothing, obviously representing Remus and a more defined, fragile one with red clothing, obviously representing Roman, discussed what story they wanted to do in this episode in front of black screen and after short discussion got right into it. The others watched how both characters fought through their first story in an incredibly colourful and slightly confusing world, that didn’t resemble either twins’ usual creations. The humour was darker, but also sillier than Roman’s. The imagery was less on the nose and more thought through than Remus’s.

Their story was light and entertaining and, in its essence, pure fun. And so, the next episode followed after a credit screen, where Roman’s and Remus’s names were listed under every occupation and the two characters, now in slightly different get up, discussed the next plot. The actual brothers on the floor didn’t say anything, sometimes there was a quiet giggle or one nudged the other in the side, when he did something stupid, but otherwise they were silent.

And so, they repeated this four times, until the fifth episode ended and Remus’s character was rather quiet in the ending screen. He looked over to Roman’s character and asked: “Are you ready?”

“I could go for a musical number!”, the little character exclaimed but his counterpart only gave him a sad look.

“You can always go for a musical number, Ro. But do you need it? Or do you want it?”

Roman, the actual Roman, put the joystick down and pulled his hand down his face. Remus put it down to and watched him from the side.

“I only want it.”

Then Roman circled his shoulders and sat up. Decidedly, he turned to Remus and said: “I’m ready.”

Remus nodded and watched Roman stand up, before he followed him to the couch and sat down on the floor while Roman took a seat between Logan and Patton. Softly, he unclenched his jaw and fists and then for the first time this evening he looked over directly towards Janus.

“Janus”, Roman started and watched Janus observe him mistrustfully, “if you allow me to call you that, after the deed I did.”

Janus blinked as Roman stopped so abruptly. It took a second before he realized that Roman had asked him for permission to call him by his name and answered then: “I revealed it with the intention for you all to use it. So, yes you may call me Janus.”

“Okay. So, Janus, before I can start to explain anything, I need to at least say this: I am sorry for laughing at your name.”

Roman paused and watched Janus’s face fall.

“I’m sorry for not listening to what you were actually saying and simply antagonizing you, for the sake of antagonizing you that night. I get now that it was wrong and I do feel bad about it and it frustrates me that I didn’t do better, but this won’t fix what I did. I will do my best to figure out how to do it right the next time.”

Everybody stared at Roman. They didn’t expect, except for Remus, Roman to start this off with an apology. Least of all with an apology to Janus of all people.

The least had Janus expected so much and watched Roman in doubt. This was not all of it. There was more but Roman refused to let anymore go of his thoughts and it frustrated Janus to no end.

“But…?” Janus prompted Roman impatiently yet the latter only shook his head.

“No but! If I say a but it would mean I’d make up an excuse and I wouldn’t want to get it right and I know I want to get it right!”

Janus huffed and told Roman: “No, you would not make an excuse you would explain the reason behind your actions. And that is an explanation and nothing else. And we might need an explanation, if you want us to help you get it ‘right’.”

Roman rubbed his eyes and sighed. He felt Virgil pitying him. He sensed Patton’s need to hug him and tell him everything would be alright, no matter how true or untrue it was. He hated his situation.

“I – I thought, after I had messed up with Virgil, I should try to give you a second chance, even after you tricked me with the lying to Joan thing. So, I did. I gave you a chance and let you pull us into this courtroom and have this trial. I listened to your reasoning, listened to your questioning and your statement. You made your point and proved that Thomas was guilty. That I was guilty. And everybody was upset and, and unhappy and I thought, I couldn’t let that happen and make Thomas a bad person, just because I was guilty and tried give us sentence so we could be good again. And then we went to the stupid wedding and everything was wrong. Everything felt wrong and I knew I made the wrong choice and I still wanted this call-back so bad, so, so bad and I still was making Thomas a bad person somehow. And then you showed up and after the last time I had thought that you actually were the bad guy now, because – everybody was upset with me when I agreed with you and so I tried to at least save Pat and Thomas from you, if I couldn’t get Patton’s reasoning right and – and – it was wrong again. I was wrong again. I was wrong fighting Virgil. I was wrong fighting and trusting you. No matter what I do, I’m wrong and – and I don’t know at this point if you can even do something to help me get it ‘right’, Janus. Because no matter what I do, I’m not doing the right thing and no matter how much I apologize I will never be finished apologizing, because I can’t even do that right.”

Now Virgil seemed a little horrified. Patton a little hopeless. Logan stared at him aghast and Janus had his mouth slightly open with awe. And Remus felt tiered again. Roman wanted to barf. No wonder they had no idea what to do with him.

“Great”, Roman groaned and put his head in his hands.

There was the sound of shuffling clothes and three light steps before Roman realized that someone was crouching in front of him. He peeked through his fingers and saw Janus looking at him with a very displeased look.

“When I said let’s talk about something, we both were familiar with, I did imply that I too, make mistakes, Roman. And the setup of the trial was one of those.”

Roman let his hands drop. He didn’t think Janus was deceiving him right now. The light tremble in his voice wasn’t something Roman thought Janus could fake. Silently, he stared at Janus and waited for him to continue.

The deceitful side sighed and moved on: “I set it up in a way Thomas would have a clear answer on the fact that he also wanted, needed things for himself. And I wanted to involve all of you, so you all saw that it was undeniable. But the approach was wrong, you and Thomas obviously felt guilty for wanting to be “selfish” and that was not my main goal.”

“It wasn’t?” Roman bit back viciously.

Janus clenched his jaw but forced himself to calm down and told Roman patiently: “No, it wasn’t. I knew I didn’t need to get you on my side. You already knew what Thomas wanted, as you are Thomas’s wants and dreams. You already knew that, you already said so but Patton tried to convince you that Thomas didn’t want it and Thomas tried to agree with him simply for the act of being a good person, even though it would only serve to make himself feel miserable.”

“But Thomas also wants to be a good person! He wants to do the right thing!”

“Yes, that is what Patton wants Thomas to be but-”

“No! Thomas wants to do the right thing! I know it! I know that helping others, so they don’t have to suffer like we did, is what Thomas likes and wants to do, but he also wants the call-back, I want the call-back, more than any other side in this room and I know it, but I did also want to do the right thing and I had to decide which one was more important and so I sided with Patton, because working against him seems to be never worth it!”

“What?” Patton uttered hurt.

Dramatically Roman rose from his seat, walked past Janus on the floor and started to make a few rounds in the middle of the living room. He shook his head, opened and closed his mouth again and again without knowing where he was headed to.

“What do you mean by working against me isn’t worth it?”

Roman groaned and threw his hands in the air. With bitterness he watched Patton, looking so confused and upset and yet couldn’t stop himself from saying: “Whenever someone doesn’t agree with you, he gets shot down or talked over until you can finally wrap your head around a new point of view. Ask Logan, ask Janus, ask Remus. We have to work around you so often; I can’t even count all these times anymore and it’s just so much easier to try and compromise instead of outright telling you that you’re wrong. And I can’t even be mad because I tend to do the same thing and I know you’re not doing it because your selfish, like me, but because you wanna help us and-”

All sides felt the pull. Roman snapped and at once wore his usual outfit complete with his katana and had hidden the burn on his face behind an illusion. A second pull. Thomas was summoning one of them. And then Roman was gone.

Roman found himself standing in a dark bedroom. He blinked. There was an all too familiar uneven sound of breathing, he quickly recognized and turned towards. Thomas sat upright in his bed his left arm trembling.

Roman smiled and walked towards him with the soft question: “You called?”

“You came!”

Thomas laugh was filled with relief and Roman felt a wave of guilt and satisfaction rush through him.

Carefully, Roman took a seat on the edge of Thomas’s bed and softly put his katana on the sheets. He waited for Thomas to turn on the night stand like he usually did. And as the light hit Thomas’s face Roman found him squinting at the brightness and sweaty from the nightmare, he had probably summoned him for.

For a moment they just looked at each other and gave Thomas time to collect his breath. As he had calmed down a bit Roman told him: “I promised you I’d always come. I’m sorry it took me so long.”

“No, no! It’s fine! As soon as I woke up, I summoned you and you were there in just a snap. You’re good”, Thomas reassured him and pulled his blanket a little closer to his chest.

Roman let out a little laugh and then prompted Thomas: “I’m glad to hear it. Then would you like to tell me what it was about or would you like for me to tell you a story?”

Thomas took a moment before he spoke again. The light made a subtle buzzing sound in the background and Roman felt himself relax a little.

“I don’t remember all of it, it’s already fading but, I do remember one thing very clearly and that was a fire. It was hot and scary and I couldn’t get out of it. Really strange. I don’t know what it was about.”

Roman’s face fell immediately. He had never wished to do this to Thomas. He wanted to do everything in order to keep him from getting hurt only to end up to be the one who is hurting him. He let out a sigh and faced Thomas with a bitter grin.

“I do know what it was about, though.”

“You do? I thought you couldn’t shape dreams and that most dreams don’t have any real meanings.”

“Yes, usually not and the only one of us who can actually actively influence your dreams is Remus. But uhm, this one probably goes on me.”

“What? How?”

Roman sighed and put his hands in his lap. Closely, he watched his fingers which would still be burnt had he not asked for Patton’s help. Had Remus not pulled him out. Had Logan not listened to Remus.

“It’s almost funny”, Roman half-heartedly joked, “if you think about it. I set, I set a fire in the imagination. It’s handled now, nothing’s burning anymore and the people are being tended to, but it could have turned out a lot worse if the others hadn’t helped me.”

Silence. There was only the sound of Roman swallowing heavy air and Thomas moving in his bed, as he leaned forward and held his hand out for Roman. The Prince looked up and hesitantly laid his hand in Thomas’s. He gave it a little squeeze before he pulled it away again.

“You haven’t been around lately.”

“I know. I’m sorry... It’s just a lot right now.”

“I know. I feel it too. And I’m also sorry.”

There Roman listened up. Alarmed he looked over to Thomas and asked him: “What for? You're doing your best; you’re constantly learning more and improving. What would you be sorry for?”

Thomas smiled a crooked smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“If I’d stop overthinking so much you all would have an easier job and you-”

“Thomas. Stop. We wouldn’t be here without you. And yes, sometimes it’s complicated, but that is also on us. And without you, without you my dear Tomathy, we would never resolve any problems at all. It’s you who choses to work with us. To accept us. To love us as we are. And we love you too. Not only that but we also like you and all we want is to help you be happy.”

“All of us?”

Roman paused. Thomas actually knew what he was getting at.

“Yes, all of us. I think- It's about time we talk about Remus. Not now, I have to discuss it with the others, but I think, it’s time for us to show you what he can actually help you with. I should have stood up for him sooner.”

Thomas nodded a little distracted and watched the fabric of his blanket. Roman watched him closely and waited. Tired Thomas was always a little off and, in a way, Roman enjoyed this strange little secret between them. This was his Thomas and his Thomas alone. No other knew him like this and he cherished his privilege greatly.

“You said, you all like me?”

Roman stared at Thomas. He recognized the low self-esteem in his voice as his own.

“Of course, we do, Thomas.”

“Why?”

Roman smiled and slid towards him and leaned down a little to tell him: “You make us proud. Every single one of us. Patton adores how you fight for all the people who have it difficult out there. Logan never was more satisfied like back then when you finished your studies in chemical engineering. Virge would never admit it but he’s so happy that you listen to him and calm him down when he needs it and help him protect our friends. And I’m pretty sure that Remus is proud of every weird but fun video choice you ever made.”

For a second Roman hesitated. Should he talk about Janus’s thoughts? He didn’t really know anything about his feelings toward Thomas even though he was pretty sure that he liked him a big deal, after the fight he put up for him.

“And you?”

Roman looked up and blinked. And him?

“What about me?” Roman asked weakly.

It was Thomas’s turn to smile at him and he gave him that look, which he had already given him back in the puppet episode.

“Do you like me, Roman?” Thomas asked the previously unspoken question.

Thomas wasn’t serious, was he? No, he couldn’t be. He couldn’t, think that Roman-

“Of course, I like you Thomas! I love you! I adore you!”

“So… I make you proud?”

What was he getting at?

“Yes, of course, you do!”

“But when? How could I possibly make you, my hopes and dreams, proud?”

“I always dream big, I always hoped for Broadway or a movie, and I still do, but when you wrote a musical, performed and toured with it, you exceeded my expectations. You make videos which encompass all of us, which combine our strengths, which get you out of your comfort zone, challenge your point of view and even more so your viewership. You actually make a difference! You move people, you inspire and you give them dreams to work towards and all of that while still teaching them a lesson! I could never could have come up with that and it makes me so proud that I get to be a part in that.”

Roman felt warm in his chest. There was so much good, so much great he had seen in his time. So much he cherished and so much more great things to come. He hoped at least. And apparently, judging from Thomas’s smile, he hoped so too.

“Thank you. And thank you for pushing me so far. For helping me making bold choices.”

Roman smiled brightly and he started to understand where Thomas was getting at. He started to understand that maybe he could give himself a little more credit for those things too. Not as boisterous as he used to, but in moderation it might be a good thing to start at.

For a few minutes they sat together in silence, enjoying each other’s presence and listening to the shadows in the corners. Thomas sunk into his blanket and peeked over the fabric to Roman, who looked like he was lost in thought.

“You haven’t been feeling well, after that debacle with Janus.”

It was a statement, not a question but Roman still nodded to agree.

“I should have checked on you. I feel how my self-esteem is getting worse and I know it’s you who’s suffering most under this. And that it means that Deceit being a part of me is still a hard pill to swallow.”

“That’s an understatement”, Roman huffed and pressed his lips together.

“Did I disappoint you?”

At that Roman flinched. Thomas’s sounded so open. It felt like an invitation but he was afraid that it was a trap and he didn’t want to make a mistake here. He didn’t want to lose Thomas too.

“Hey”, Thomas said and the blanket made its shuffling sound as Thomas sat up and moved towards Roman, “it’s okay. You’ve got feelings too and I’m not perfect. I’m bound to make mistakes and it’s okay for you to tell me when I made one that hurt you. I want to know Roman. I want to listen to you.”

Roman gulped. He didn’t look Thomas in the eyes as he said: “You did disappoint me. Not even by trusting Janus or the selfishness thing, even though it still bugs me, but with – With just letting it go. ‘That’s over and done with.’ We worked so hard, I worked so hard for this call-back to come and you just let it go. I mean, I know it’s not coming back but – how is it so easy for you to let it die? Wasn’t it your chance? Our chance? Why am I supposedly the only one who is mourning this opportunity?”

“… that’s a good question… I’m just so overwhelmed it never really … I never registered it. That we lost the chance. And that’s not on you. I guess, we need to look at that with the others too, huh?”

Roman looked up. Thomas was tired but he tried his best to cheer him up tonight. And he had somewhat succeeded. He nodded and stood up to tuck Thomas in.

“We will. But now you should go to bed. I’ll see what I can arrange with the others in the meantime. Sleep well my liege.”

“G’dnight Princey”, Thomas yawned and put the light out.

Roman kept standing in the room for a few more minutes before he quietly sunk out and reappeared in the Mindscape again.

Patton sat crying next to the couch and in the middle of the room was a stand-off between Janus, Virgil and Remus, who all were either hissing or shouting and next to Roman in front of the couch stood Logan, who seemed to be unable to move a single muscle.

“It’s not MY FAULT PARANOIA BECAME A THING!” was the next thing Roman heard Remus shouting towards the other former dark sides and it became dauntingly clear to him that this night was far from over.

[kanene-yaaay]

Reasons to Smile

Kanene's Notes: 

Reasons to smile:

Today wasn't a sunny day, and I wake up early, which was pretty cool so that way I had time to finally finish my fanfic and post it. Oh, I have internet, and this is also awesome, since I can show this fanfic and talk with you all because of it. And the fun thing about Sun is that is okay the fact that it wasn't showing up a lot today because you guys alone are enough to light up my day and warm my heart. So thank you for being here and being so strong in these tough times, my lollipop!

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Roman!Patton and Ler!Patton/Ler!Virgil/Ler!Roman (It can be seen as Romantic or Platonic LAMP/CALM). 

*Hmmm… This is a Tickle-Fanfic! If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of amazing art in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 4.500 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* I'm very happy I finally managed to finalize this fanfiction! I made an personal goal to make to each one of the Light Sides a tickle fic focused on them specifically (Virgil = Vulnerable; Logan = It started when... ; Patton = Patton has a secret) and that was the last one! I'm already starting another project which I hope to post soon, so donut worry! I will be opening my Ask Box for prompts, however I will make a post about it, soon! <3

* E a versão em português brasileiro! 

* Masterpost in case you wanna see my others works! <3

*Thankys for reading, my lollipops! Watch a fun video, read a good story, talk with the one that you love and drink water! Byeioo!~

                          [~*~]

Roman felt he was the least heroic hero from all the Mind Palace. It was horrible, like a sensation which seemed to start in his chest, in that deepest part of him where the soul is, and began to spread through all his body. First his throat, making it dry and with tons and tons of lost words never said, then it went to his stomach, leading it to weight as much as his legs, which didn’t felt have any strength left to stand or move in any direction; his eyes looked as dikes about to broke and flood everything in they way, and, in the end, he didn’t felt any cold, however this didn’t stopped him from drow himself in tons of comforters and teddy bears just like he currently was.

As he said before: Not even a drop of heroism.

 The soft, warm pile moved some time later as the prince emerged from it, not completely healed, but at least a little better after the nap he had. His hand moved with a flourish in the air, summoning Crofter’s, because he was addicted to this jelly after the musical video, and started to eat, feeling his face getting dirty with his own clumsy actions already inserted in his being.

 Jelly on his face, messy hair, tired, sleepy eyes… Yep, definitely these were the ‘royal days’ which any Fairy Tale ever utter. None chapter mentioning, explaining how were the thousands of days in the tower waiting, dreaming; not a page dedicated to the lonely afternoons wandering through the forest in seek of a beauty lady with skin pale as snow, or even some phrases about the months surrounded and arrested in himself that Maui had to struggle and neither three or four verses about all the sleepless nights watered in guilty that the Beast had gone through.

 Perhaps, it was because in the end…

 - Nobody cares that much. - The words sounded even tougher when left his lips and Roman felt himself squirm as if it had inflicted a physical blow. He shook his head, knowing very well the bottomless well he was burying himself into.

 He took a deep breath and opened the desk drawer picking up the old-looking folder, with a single draw of a feather outlined with glitter in its cape. He leaned on the bed’s headboard and opened the emergency folder for ‘heroic moments not so heroic of life’ as he liked to call it.

 There were all that intimate stories. The ones we do just for ourselves. The arts in which we are inserted in the world that we chose in the way we wish… Stories with a plot very much deeper that the one traced on papers and the chats and scenes which that had already been turned over, reinvented and transformed again and again and again in the mind of the creative aspect. Took a good sip of air and released slowly in the paper with doodles at the edges. The traces and dialogues started to float from them and dance in the wind, recreating, reorganizing and materializing themselves in the characters, places and contexts previously determined. His trace was light and clear, seeming to flow slightly and naturally with the wind as his room began to take a form of a magnificent forest.

 Roman observed the stories unfold before him, sporadically remembering the jokes he had written much longer ago and the trail each action leaded the character. He remembered also the ideas he had when wrote every single one of these words and how much happy he was just by the simple fact he was putting them on lines, without even realizing it Roman found himself with a small smile finding way to his features along with some salty drops pioneering trails down his cheeks and his hand centimeters away from the holograms, doomed to his destiny of always being capable to have any scenario, character and plot at his fingertips, but nothing more than that.

 His not so optimal thoughts were pulled out of him when laughter and teasing cut the place and almost automatically made a pleasant shivers ran across his body. Now a real smile took over his face without he even noticing it, his eyes attentive to every detail of the protagonist being pinned in the floor and attacked by his other two friends.

 Not a common attack, of course, because Roman could be anything but ‘common’. That, as the majority of the stories, which were in that folder, was a story developed around… tickling.

 So, nothing more fair than the principal character, being the hurried and naturally inattentive adventurer who he was (and because in the last day he had a problematic night) didn’t noticed that, when he went to land the ship he forgot to do the necessary procedures before it (he would need to question Logan about the functions from a ship’s painel control later) and because of that the automobile suffered severe damage by the time it hit the ground. Then, nothing more fair than, while the ship was being repaired, both of his best friends tickled him by the same amount of time (which, sure, was a lie, because they would stop immediately when noticed his ‘victim’ had researched his limit. However, the merely possibility of that happens and the teasing they directed towards him about this only made the entire situation more ticklish and playful.)

 (What? It was like said: the thing put on the paper is only the beginning of the whole iceberg behind the plot.)

 When a story was over, the words returned floating to the paper where they belonged, the scribbles being again fixed, and then Roman took another one and brought it to life, sometimes closing his eyes in order to concentrate even more on the laughter and try to visualize fingers dancing in his most ticklish spots.

 Just the thoughts about it leaded to ghost sensations ran across his entire spine. The papers fell with each story that ended and floated gracefully to the ground, because, later he would busy himself with the task of tidying up all that mess.

 Later.

 (~*~)  

He left his room, already having organized it and saved his little folder back to its original place (one story was missing, probably lost in some corner of his forest. He would care about this another day, though. He was tireeeeeed.). He was interrupted some quick times by Thomas seeking to discuss new goals and dreams they could perceive in the next moths and someday in the future, which made him to be late for the dinner and, consequently, his entire routine after meal, and it was for that reason which at ten at night the aspect of passion and creativity was washing his clothes for the next video, that may or may not would be in the morning. Something which made him almost pray to not rain in the next day so he wouldn’t need to take his vestments to dry in the forest in his room. 

 Since it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to find anything by own will and not literally tripping over them (Not that this ever happened before with his teddy bear which went there to take some sunlight after a particularly strong storm in the Mind Place. Pffff. Of course not. Prince doesn’t stumble, or have teddy bear neither!! Who told you that??)  in that indomitable world just as the creativity...

 Wait…

 Ah, that was why this world was his room and he is the aspect of creativity and… aaahh! Now the things made sense...

 My goshly gosh, now he was beginning to look for logic in the pieces of his routine. OK. Red alert. Abort Mission! Sad days made him WAY too philosophical and like Logan. Abort Mission!

 His foot leaded him to the living room, letting the washing machine do its job, his mind in a battle to decide which Disney to watch and which ones had duration just a bit longer than the washing process. His eyes landed in the television and his body froze for a piece of second.

 “Reasons to smile today”

 That's what the paper stuck to the device's screen said. It was a notebook’s common paper, the words scribbled a bit stronger than the necessary amount, however this wasn’t the cause of the guardian of dreams and passion stop in the way to his happiness.

 And yes what that phrase meant.

 It was a Logan’s idea (amaze!) which emerged in a particularly difficult period for Thomas.

 It was really simple, to be honest: every day all the sides got together, more specifically in the breakfast, and told at least one reason to smile and look forward that day. Usually it was Patton who listed more than half of the reasons in almost every meetings, them being memories, peoples or places, e that constantly managed to rip out a good smile and that warm, cozy feeling in their chest.

 But, when the moral aspect was feeling too much down for the activity, Roman always jumped with a good future, those where all their dreams were accomplished, Logan always brought some good memories and neutral facts and Virgil always came with someone. One supported the other and vice versa.

 Those were really tough moments, nevertheless also were the moments which consolidated them as a famILY.

 The royal member held de paper, the entire room bathed in a silence in which he could swear to amplificate his heartbeats. It was possible to notice there was something written in the back of it, so he turned it.

 “Your unwavering courage.”

 The lights went off and two hands digged in his sides, a scream getting stuck in his throat and his reflexes to punch what touched him was equally restrained by THAT specific sensation.

 - NAHAHAHAHAHA! – His laughter was quick to fill each piece of the silent before installed in the place, his own hands swinging from left to right without really managing to do something, completely different from the ones which attacked him, each single finger mixing between wriggling, kneading, trembling and giving an extra special attention to every inch it could research. He quivered, his legs weakening with the flow of laughter. - WHOHOHOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOHOHO I-I-IS - A particularly mean poke in his lowest rib made his voice to fail, a new shade of blush painting his features. - ACK! - An amused snort could be heard from behind him, the tickling fingers found the new sound interesting and now spent their time slowly spidering up and down his ribs. Light, quick and crazy tickles dancing and spreading with each touch. - nahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 He knew this game, knew how to play it. He just needed to find out who was attacking him. Whilst his squirming, his hands tried to hold or touch anything from who was behind him. A hint. Any hint.

 Roman grabbed a wrist. It was uncovered, but there was fabric right behind it. Just one of them wore clothes long-sleeved - His thoughts seemed to run and vanish as fast as the squeaks and yelps between his hearty laughter - Just one of them wore vestments long-sleeved…

 The unknown wrist released itself from his hold, quickly deviating its attention to his upper ribs. His legs weakened and he fell in the ground, the tickling following all his moves and don’t stopping to attack him with light kneads and pinches, even with all his fighting.

 - Anahahahahahahahah-anahahahahaha!!! - His eyes closed in attempt to focus for the name slip already, but his laughter seemed to control all his breath and mind. -ANXIEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHETY! NAHAhahahaha!!

 The fingers slowed down, almost stopping, which allowed the aspirant of royalty finally take some deep quick, delightful breathes, his low and wobbly giggles intertwined with fast squeals being fed up by two index fingers that still poking and lightly teasing that exact spot that connect his armpits and ribs.

 - Thahahahahank Beyohohohohcé.

 - Tsc. - The purple aspect clicked his tongue and even though everything was bathed into darkness, Roman could perfectly imagine the expression in the other’s face. A sharp look. A marvelous smirk. Uh oh - We work with names here, Squeaky Princey.

 F U C-

 - Nononohohoho! wAHAHAHAHAHAIT- He even attempted to escape, sure, but was already giggling even before the hands came back to his sides in full speed. His laughter exploded from his lips, his legs and arms also dancing and struggling without any real effort and his eyes closing tightly.

 This jerk had told his name a few days ago and KNEW that none of them has get used to call him by that yet. He  k n e w.

 - YOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOUR STUHUHUHUHUUHUHUHP-NO! WHAHAHAHAHAHA-WHAHAHAHAHAIT!! - Snort. More high-pinched uncontrollable laughter. Squeal. More laughter. Did one of them belong to the emo side or did he imagined it? - LEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHET ME T-T-THIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHINK!!!

 Roman could feel the name in the tip of his tongue, somewhere between his loud and attention demanding crackles. Yes, right there, between his bright, mesmerizing smile and that warmth in his chest that seemed to spread through all across his face. He felt like would melt at any moment. Since when his smile could get this big?

 - VIRHIHIHIHIHIHIHIGIL!!! IT IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS VIRGIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIL!!!

 - Ding ding ding. – The lights went on again and the royal aspect deposited his hands on the floor, his remain giggles flowing from his mouth as those butterflies and that cozy sensation kept flying in his stomach. - Strike.

 - Yohohohou will feel my rahahahahag- However, when he turned, blushed features and teary eyes, to see the fear in his enemy's face as he uttered his promise of vengeance, the prince only found nothing. A gigantic piece of void where the purple one should be standing. The sheet preserved itself in the ground, calm and plain, in the same position he had left it, as it mocked about all the mess that happened seconds ago.

 - Who are you looking at, subject? - But the sparkles in his eyes removed any heat of his words.

He went to the laundry and now headed to his room. Being completely honest, he didn't felt a single drop of will to sleep right now, the previous ‘attack’ continued as a mystery. Of course, they all were extremely close, but... tickles? It have been a long time since this artifice was used among them. It was something almost as old as that phrase or that game…

 Ok. Something was smelling really strange here.

 Maybe it was his new cologne which- No, wait, Roman! Focus, focus!

 Maybe it was…

 An adventure.

 And what kind of royalty he would be if he denied an adventure?

 Unsheathed his sword and kept his track to his room, confident and brave footsteps echoing in the hallway.

 A quick and muffled ‘thump’ could be heard from his room, which automatically activated all the instincts from the extra side, because of that, in a matter of few seconds the wooden object was already being thrown in the ground by a smiley Roman, who managed to support himself in the only feet that didn’t hurted, since apparently, knocking -ha!- a door down with one (or more, shhh) kick can have consequences (How he was supposed to know?).

 - BOW TO YOUR PRINCE AND MAY I DECIDE TO SPARE YOU! - His heroic pose was totally ignored, because the place was empty. His eyes analyzed each corner and each shadow, without really finding anything that give the slightest tip that any other life being beyond him even stepped there. 

 And then his gaze bumped in a shiny, polished black shoe, half completely hidden under his bed, making a danger joyful grin to spread in his features. All his shoes were Disney tematic and had their own day and outfit and any of them had this shade of black.

 (Maybe the Ursula’s one was the one that looked more like, but even with this in mind it was very distinguishable the difference between a dark-purple and a basic dark, please!)

 His footsteps leaded him quietly, a perfect contrast with all the shouting from pieces of time ago. He slowly bent down, prepared to grab the shoe and whoever was wearing it and…

 - HA! YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD TRICK M- Good point: The shoe came easily out. Bad point: it was because it was empty, which was the reason for his glorious victory statement being, and and very rudely by the way, interrupted. Roman indignantly scoffed; he refused to let the victory escape so easily through his fingers! He was the embodiment of dreams, persistence and hope and he. wouldn’t. give. up. so. easily!!

 Inflated by his own enthusiasm, the royal side knelt down, noticing only a paper on the floor in a place a little further under his bed. Just a little crawl was necessary to solve the problem, with a gleam of determination in his glare Roman firmly held the hint, excitedly bouncing his legs, the only part of his body that wasn’t covered by the furniture.

 "Your persistence and mind of an untamed nature."

 Before he could even process a bit more the meaning contained in the words, which apparently were a continuation from previous paper, the prince felt a strong arm embrace his ankles, his shoes being removed with a slowly calm that didn’t related with the adrenaline which exploded in himself and now across his arteries. His ‘mind of an untamed nature’ understanding exactly what was about to happen and finding zero ways to run away from his fate.

 - NO!!! Don’t you dare!! - One of his shoes fell with a muffled hit on the ground. - I-I… hehehe…! - Giggles began to took over his throat. His other shoe fell as well, a cold, excited shiver ran down his spine. - No!! - A finger lightly positioned itself in the exact center of his feet, all his nerves vibrated in expectation. - NononononNo!

 The finger started to scratched softly, its nail slided without a single bit of hurry across his feet in a move that went from the tip of his toes to his heel, just to add another finger in the movement and calmly repeat the pattern over and over and over and over… Until all his five stupid tickly fingers were tickling him.

 Roman tried to escape from the gap in his ankle, his eyes as tighten as his lips, refusing to brake his barrier.

 The one who ‘attacked’ changed his technique a few times, going from circular motions to quick scribbles, however, he hasn’t rewarded with more than some muffled squeaks and snorts from the other. The fingers moved away, giving Prince time enough to recover profusely his breath, almost don’t hearing the soft humming which filled the air for some little pieces of heartbeats.

 Roman already had the name in the tip of his tongue. The letter alone was enough of a clue, albeit… the possibility to finish with the playing caused a part of himself to quiver sadly. He didn’t wished to end with this moment… No… In truth…

 He didn’t wanted this feeling to end. A feeling that made him excited, electric, feeling like he could run fifty kilometers nonstop. This sentiment, which automatically produced a smile in his features and made he really believes, realizes that he was…

 Was loved.

 Perhaps it was this the reason that his mouth opened even before his brain processed his provocation, challenger tune that impregnated his next words:

 - Há! My dear enemy! Your faux fighting techniques would never be able to defeat a prince like mí! - The creativity side could feel the anticipation, the danger sign glowing in a bright red, and launched his final card: his cocky laughter (and extremely natural. Of course, he never trained hours and hour in a diversity of tunes and expressions in front of his mirror. Humpft. Of course not. That was one of princes’ natural gifts.) of victory.

 The same that was interrupted seconds after by the twenty nails that scratched the absurdly, extremely ticklish skin under his toes. Roman could swear that not even in his years of theater he managed to achieve this high tune.

 - Ohohohohoh! NohohohohohOHOHOHOhohohoho! – His head shook desperately, his legs bouncing and fight for their lives and freedom, his laughter, now breathless and full of half pleas of mercy, dancing through his room.

 A part of himself, one which wasn’t maddened with all this tickling, all the fingers that attacked merciless every little centimeter of his feet and his reverberated laughter, fought against his flight instincts, leading the whole scribbles, pokes and wriggles to find the minimum of resistance as possible (Not that the Tickler will ever know it, sure.)

 - PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE - A nail found a very particularly sensible spot right under his big toe releasing a series of snorts and yelps throughout his already uncontrollable, wobbly laughter. The tickling was unbearable, but in a very different, more lightly, way than the previous attack, and that was making him crazy. - PleasepleasepleAHAHAHAHAHAHAHSEHEHEHE!! NAHAHAHAhahahahHAHAHAHahahahahaHAHAHAHA!!

 Roman persisted for a few more seconds, his entire body, despite the tickles being focused in just one place, squirmed. He only allowed the name to slip for his tongue when his laughter and giggles, it depended from the spot and apparently his ‘enemy’ wasn’t satisfied in choose just one, started to steal his breath. His hand hit the cold floor of his room.

 - LOGAN!!! IHIHIHIHIHIHIHIT IS Lohohohhohohohogan!!

 The tickles were decreasing until finally stop, making the tingles in his soles not as intense as the that took over his ribs and sides before in the living room. Roman, in the exact moment, which felt the gap in his ankle to weaken, pulled his feet closer, rubbing them.

 - Undoubtedly correct. - It could be his tickled mind pranking him, but the dreamer could swear he heard a hint of amusement in the other’s voice. It didn’t took longer for the prince to catch the characteristic sound of sinking, which resulted him quickly attempting to get out of under the bed to reach the one with glasses, after all, their battle hadn’t  ended yet!!

 - Wait right there! Don’t you freaking dare to- And, once again, his sentence was interrupted. Now for a little snort that flied from his lips when the logic aspect ran softly his fingers at his feet, making the prince to retract in defense, giving him time enough to disappear with a smirk, half joyful and half cocky, adorning his face.

 Roman really tried to be angry, but how much heated was his features and how much euphoric he was in the moment proved this action to be a little more difficult, which definitely wouldn’t aplacate his future revenge, of course.

 Now, though, his only plan was to take a shower and then sleep. For that he forced his tired body to get up and head his bathroom, part smiling and part yawning. He opened his door and stretched, feeling his bones to crack and muscles to relax.

 And then his gaze found the paper stuck in the mirror above his sink, his instinct screaming in a red alert for knowing very well the next step in this game.

 - NO! - Maybe it was the tiredness, however, before he could turn around to try to stop the attack a pair of hands hit in his armpits, something that made his legs automatically to fail and every and any coherent thought be tossed away from his brain to a far far away. The laughter already falling in great waterfalls from his mouth.

 - PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHADREHEHE! - His real laughter, that specific one that only appears when his most ticklish spot is being attacked with the most ruthless tickles, was loud, thunderous  and definitely an easy sound to be noticed from miles away, Roman almost could feel his blush to spread across his neck just imagining Logan and Virgil smiling as heard him reverberate around the house.  – NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 - Ooooooh? - Patton’s playfully tune would be definitely impossible to hear if he wasn’t so close of his ears, his words leading to even more tickles and shivers in the other. - It seems that our little pretty prince here is ticklish? Coothie coothie coo! Oh, no! What are you gonna do? Huh? Huh? What our powerful, brave Prince Roman will do to escape from the Tickle Monster? Huh? Huh? Kitty Kitty Coo! My dear and ticklish prince!!

 - NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO TEASIHIHIHIHIHIHIIHIHING, PAHAHAHAHAHATTON!

 The creativity’s embodiment trashed back and forth, his head shaking, perhaps in attempts to remove all the red in his face, maybe trying to dislodge those fingers that poked, kneaded, drummed and tickled every available skin they could research. Tears began to accumulate in the corner of his eyes,

 And, even with all his effort, his conscient parte still struggled against his instincts to escape and making him to get as close to the moral aspect as possible, almost laying on him.

 - But how could I ever stop when knowing that this give me access to all these cute squeals? - A poke in the right place and Roman exemplified his words. Patton giggled. - Not mentioning this wonderful and melodious laugher, Roman! It is adorable!!! - The paternal side seemed as happy as he did, the royalty aspirant could feel their laughter in harmony, and maybe (maybe, only!) his heart had melted a little. Or it was just his tears falling from his eyes, his mind was a mess, okay? Don’t ask for details nor logic.

 His laughter, high pinch squeals, snorts and breathless giggles endured for some more minutes before Roman pushed himself forward, laughing a plea to stop, which the one who wears cardigan promptly answered. They leaned against the wall, feeling the cold of the concrete aplacate the heat of the remaining giggles.

 For some seconds both stayed in silence, calming down.

 - Whahahat did you write?

 - Huh? - Patton blinked a few times, leaving his thoughts and staring the other with a stunning smile.

 - In the paper. I couldn’t read… And I expected a honest attack from you, padre! Attacking enemies from behind is very immoral!

 - Hehehehe! - Genuine smile, hands up as an act of surrender. - Anything goes in love and war.

 - Really bold words for someone so close from my fingers! - Roman showed an evil grin, punctuating each one of his words with pokes in the other’s belly, making him squirming in a sea of quick giggles, pushing his hands.

 - You stop right there, mister! - Protested, his glare assuming a paternal glint. - Tomorrow we have a video to record and we need to sleep early! Thomas will need his creativity radiant and rested!

 The prince whined, hands moving in exaggerated gestures and laying dramatically on the floor, following with his eyes as a smiling Patton stood up and pulled the paper from the mirror.

 - Ah! I wrote: ‘Your golden heart!’, but I think I should have written about your stories! - Roman felt his blood freeze, a quick flashback from the morning passing before his eyes. The holograms, flying scenarios, sheets falling, Thomas calling him to do something, the lost paper… - They’re amazing and give really ncredible ideas.

 His face suddenly looked as if it had been set on fire and for the first time in a long time the prince found himself speechless while the one with the glasses deposited the paper in his hands, kissed his forehead, wishing ‘Good night~’ before getting out, humming softly and disappeared from the other’s vision.

 Roman buried his face in his hands, grunting in frustration, which wasn’t too much easy to do when a smile from ear to ear looked to be stuck in his features.

 Yes, they had gave him a plenty of reasons to smile.

 Maybe it was for that reason that most of the stories didn’t told about these days, these moments… Perhaps because they were from such great and strong heroism that it was almost impossible to be entirely put in just one plot.

 And it was for that reason that Roman, while sitting on his bed, pencil and paper in hands, wanted to be the first one to do so.

[6-paris-6]

HELP ME FIND THE SECOND PART TO THIS AMAZING FICLET/FANFICTION

OKAY! So I copy stories from Tumblr onto my notes and this one has a part two that I didn’t get and I CAN’T find it for the LIFE OF ME! So, I’m going to post the copied part of the first chapter and pray someone can find it, or the people tagged in the original post can help me the original one so I can get the second part!! DISCLAIMER!!!! THE FOLLOWING STORY IS NOT MINE AND I AM NOT CLAIMING RIGHTS TO IT OR REPOSTING THIS AS MY OWN! I JUST WANT TO FIND THE ORIGINAL POST AND I WILL REMOVE THIS POST!! Fanfic I need to find: ♡ You are my hero ♡ (Part 1) A/N, this will probably be a two part story because A: I’m tired, and B: I’m a sucker for Drama. (For those who wished to be tagged: @emo-space-trash @fandomsandanythingelse @suchtrashwow and @sunshinelollip0ps ) The first time Patton saw him, no, not when Logan popped into existence, with angled eyes and a sort of… little brother way about him, but actually saw him as more than that… Logan had been young, trying to get Thomas to study harder for an eminent test. In that moment, he had been but a pair of peeking, chocolate eyes, watchful over the giant stack of paperbacks he carried.
Patton remembered the last moment he’d ever think of Logan in a platonic way, how the other paused in their communal lounge, re-gripping the bottom of the stack.
Patton could almost see the moment in his mind, hear his own voice offer to take a few, ‘lighten the load’, so to speak. But with bare movement, Logan shook his head. “Thank you for the offer, Patton, but I am quite capable of handling myself,” and with an affirmative nod, he departed.
Patton never quite understood, why at that moment, his heart beat against his ribcage as if it wished to escape, how the scent of old books and ink and detergent did not swamp his mind with ‘boredom’ any-longer, but with a fluttering feeling that made him lightheaded.
Now, Patton knew he wasn’t exactly the smartest of the sides. But he knew emotions.
He knew what this meant. Patton knew that he was, with no other words for it, fucked. It was no coincidence, that after that time, he began acting a little more bubbly, often border-lining on air headed around the more logical side.
He hoped it served good contrast between the other’s fairly boring day-to-day being.
He hoped it didn’t annoy Logan too much.
Because, if he were completely honest… Patton had no idea how to feel anything other than the bursting bubbles of joy around Logan.
And, somehow… he didn’t really want to. So, for the longest time… Nothing changed.
Until… The voice came from behind him, just as he’d set a pan of fresh muffins on the counter, and more importantly, right after Logan had left the room. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”
Patton whirled around at hurricane speeds, making himself slightly dizzy and nearly burning himself by accident. “W-W-Wh-What??? No, of course I’m not!” Patton exclaimed, cheek twitching as he mentally reprimanded himself for lying.
Patton plucked off the pink oven mitts, if only as something to do with his hands. “Really?” Anxiety, or as he would be called in a years time, ‘Virgil’, asked. The raise of his eyebrow fluid, yet testing. “O-Of course I’m not in l-l-l-love with L-L-Logan, that would be, I- I don’t even, why, I would, I can’t even imagine-” the sweet baked smell of muffins did not provide any kind of comfort, in fact, somehow, the scent felt strangling. And the normally hug-like warmth, spilling fourth from the oven, felt overwhelming to his fraying nerves. “M’kay,” Anxiety gave a shrug, knowing when to back down, but also, when not to.
“‘Cause, hypothetically, if you were, you’d be in big trouble,” he moved to the counter where the muffins were set, taking out a paper plate and a pair of metal tongs. “I-I mean we’re so different anyways so-… wait, what?” Patton turned.
“Why would that be bad?” Patton asked, to distracted to even warn Anxiety against eating the still-far-to-hot muffins. Anxiety turned his head to watch the other, a calculating expression on his porcelain mask.
“Hypothetically of course,” Patton was quick to amend.
Anxiety nodded. “Well, hypothetically,” Anxiety obliged, “if anyone were in love with Logan, it would be bad news.” Patton was about to ask ‘why’, again, but Anxiety only raised a hand.
Patton’s words died in his throat.
“Because,” Anxiety clicked, “He’s logic.” At a raised eyebrow, Anxiety continued.
“He doesn’t do, emotions, or love, or any of that. ‘Thinks it’s all stupid and illogical.” Anxiety waved his hands in the air as he tried to explain, but eventually, the silent conduction of his thoughts flowed to a halt, and his hands dropped to his sides.
“So, whoever that imagined person is? They’d just get hurt, and Logic would get confused, and it would be awkward.” Anxiety turned back to the muffins, using a pair of tongs to lift two of the still steaming muffins onto his plate.
Behind him, Patton’s figure was hunched, a shadow of his usually beaming self.
Anxiety turned and cursed his empathy, before placing an uncertain, unsteady hand on the other’s shoulder.
Patton looked up at the contact, earthy brown eyes watery and shifting with emotion. “Look, I’m not saying feelings are bad, it’s just…” Anxiety sighed, “I… I don’t want you to get hurt.” Patton nodded, thanking the darker side for his advice and retreating into his room to curl into his covers.
Patton cried that night, not because the words particularly hurt in any way, but because the reasoning was sound, and it all seemed far too… true.
And that stung more than any name they could call him.
So, Patton didn’t get up again until the next morning, didn’t eat any of the muffins he’d baked that night. So, taking Anxiety’s words with a grain of salt, Patton continued to smile and laugh around the logical trait. Making jokes, asking him what he was reading… mostly just engaging him in conversations, if only to hear the calming drone of his voice.
And, after a month of sideways looks from Anxiety, and the occasional raised brow from Prince, it seemed he was due another time for another, uncomfortable conversation about his life choices.
Wonder-bar… “So… you and Logan… huh?” For the embodiment of Thomas’s romantic and dramatic emotions, he sure did have an interesting way of broaching such a subject.
Nonetheless, Patton went rigid and faltered, then stuttered out a violently stupid response. “I-I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about! W-What about me and L-L-Logan?” His voice was unsteady, eyes franticly searching for a way out.
Roman was pretty sure, with all the stress the fatherly trait was putting on his pencil, it would snap. “Oh come now, it’s pretty obvious you’ve got the hots for Mr. Cool, hm?” Roman laughed with a full bodied, head-thrown-back laughter that somehow made the awkwardness seep away.
But, Roman did not admit that it had taken him seeing Patton, with his own two eyes, doodling love-hearts around him and Logan’s name just a moment ago, to truly connect all the dots. “So… when are you gonna become Mr. And Mr. Nerd? You know, pop the question?” Roman nudged him, not terribly gently, with his elbow. Patton, giving a well meaning titter, ran a hand through his hair. “Honestly? I don’t think I should, I mean…” Patton sighed, “I have no idea if he even likes me that way, or if he even feels romantic feelings at all… Really, I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable, o-or-” “Wait wait wait wait wait…” Roman interrupted, hands shaping an invisible snowman in the air. “You two love-doves aren’t even dating?” Roman asked, head cocked dramatically to the side. “U-U-Ummm, no?” Patton’s eyes darted left, shrinking away from the dramatic trait.
Roman grabbed the other by his shoulders, staring deep into slightly frightened cinnamon eyes. “Alright, listen close doll, ’cause we’re about to get you a man.” (Sorry about bad quality, I’m tired AF)

[just-an-anxious-mess]

Looking Back

Part 2

Trigger Warning: mentions of blood, character death, sorry in advance :P

Seven minutes.

That was all the time Logan had left if his calculations were correct and they usually were. The chances of him making a mistake were

"infinitesimal"

"You make one mistake and this is what happens!"

Logans lips twitched up into a small smile as he remembered how much Patton enjoyed bringing that mistake up.

He'd felt sort of upset at first but Patton had explained that he didn't mean any harm, it was just mild teasing. It became a sort of affectionate little joke and it became more worrying if Patton didn't bring it up.

Patton had started out as such an annoyance to begin with, someone Logan dreaded spending time with, but he'd grown rather fond of the pun loving trait.

Each time they interacted Logan couldn't help but feel warmth in his chest which started out small and then grew until whenever he even thought about Patton he'd be filled with a fuzzy warm feeling.

Logans smile faded slightly as he thought of what had happened when he'd tried to understand that feeling.

He'd been reluctant to go to any of the others for help and had at first tried to research it online but came up with barely any reliable results.

He'd reluctantly tried to seek help after that had failed.

Logan coughed violently and winced as he checked his watch.

6 more minutes left.

He thought of how he'd gone to Virgil first, having felt more comfortable talking to him as he was the least likely to point out that he lacked knowledge of something and required help from someone else.

"I dunno maybe it's just heartburn or something?"

"It is highly unlikely to get heartburn so frequently and at such a coincidental time."

"Alright, whatever then, why did you come to me in the first place? Surely one of the others would be better at explaining? Patton is literally Thomas's heart, Roman's also good with emotions and stuff, Thomas might be able to help and heck, even the snake would be better at this than me."

Virgil had tried his best to help but neither of them were particularly good when it came to expressing or talking about feelings.

Thinking of Virgils comment about Deceit being more helpful made Logan chuckle slightly.

Deceit was never very helpful when anyone asked him a question, he loved toying with them, switching between lying and telling the truth.

Logan had found that out the hard way when he tried to figure out just how many snake mannerisms he had.

"do you require other sources to heat you up or are you warm blooded still? Do you have scales in other places? Do you shed your scales? Do you have a third eyelid that comes down over your serpentine eye? Do you produce any sort of venom? Do you have specific dietary requirements? How often do you have to eat? Is one huge meal enough for several weeks or do you eat regularly like the rest of us? Can you unhinged your jaw to fit bigger items in your mouth? Are your teeth sharper than normal? Can you... "

"Sssssstop! Has no one told you that you talk to much? If you want the answers to your questions you need to sssssssshut your mouth and let me speak."

"my apologies, go ahead."

"my answers are yes."

"excuse me?"

"You're excused."

"I... I was asking you to... Nevermind. What I meant was, what do you mean by your answers are yes?"

"I mean exactly what I said LoLo."

"yes doesn't answer all of the questions properly though, what do you... Deceit! Come back!"

"nah, I've got other things to do which I definitely don't want to do right now. I'd much rather listen to your inane questions."

"Deceit!"

Deciet had never answered any of Logans questions so he'd had to try and figure them out himself through careful observation.

Logan felt a judder of pain radiate through him and he winced.

5 more minutes.

While Deceit was infuriating with his lack of answers it was nothing compared to Roman. Roman was quite possibly the most annoying person Logan knew, constantly overcomplicating things, so blinded by his love of fantasy and romance that he never stopped to think things through realistically.

The two had definitely disagreed on a lot of things due to that but Logan wouldn't have changed any of it. So many times they'd argued only for them to suddenly realise that both of them had valid points that could then be put together to form an almost perfect solution. Not to mention the rap battles. Logan grinned as he remembered the first time when he'd shocked everyone with his ability to rap.

"where.... Where did that come from?"

"I have an appreciation for poetry"

"Aaaaaaaaaah!"

The scream of excitement from Patton coupled with the stunned disbelief on Romans face had definitely made that a memorable moment.

He and Roman actually found they shared a lot of common interests, poetry being one of them and Shakespeare being another. Obviously they liked those things for different reasons but that didn't matter.

4 minutes.

Logan closed his eyes, holding back a groan of pain. When the pain faded slightly he sighed.

"to quote Shakespeares Sonnet 60: Like as the waves make towards the pebbled shore,

So do our minutes hasten to their end;

Each changing place with that which goes before,

In sequent toil all forwards do contend."

He coughed and spluttered violently after saying all that aloud before shoving a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. The last thing he wanted was for the others to hear.

He shook his head as tears slid down his pale cheeks. He didn't have many regrets but his biggest one was definitely his own pride. He was too prideful to ask for help even when it was the only logical solution. He guessed it probably had something to do with his own ego. He hated appearing as if he had no control or knowledge of something but when he did it didn't help if one of the other traits pointed it out.

His damn pride was the reason he was in this mess to begin with.

He could feel his lungs protesting as he took a shaky breath and just about managed to glance at his watch again, his limbs becoming harder to move as he grew weaker.

3 minutes.

He leant his head back against his bedroom wall, closing his eyes as he thought of how this would effect Thomas.

He had purposefully told the others he was not to be disturbed no matter what today. They'd all had at least one issue with his request but upon seeing his dead serious expression they'd allowed him the whole day to himself.

He wasn't sure if Thomas knew though and the last thing he needed right now would be to get summoned because what was happening had some effect on Thomas that made him panic and call for Logan.

Logan hoped the others wouldn't pick up on what was happening because it wasn't exactly like he could lock his door to keep them from bursting in.

2 minutes

Logan glanced at his bedroom door a small choked laugh coming out of his mouth as his eyes struggled to focus on the empty space where the lock used to be. He only had himself to blame for the lack of a lock on his door and remembered how he'd cursed at himself for managing to get on the wrong side of Patton for once.

"Logan Sanders! What on earth do you think you're doing?"

"mphmmph."

"give me that jar right now! I already told you Dinner is going to be in 20 minutes!"

"mmmph.... It's mine!"

"Logan! I swear to dog if you don't open this door I will ban you from eating Crofters ever again!"

Patton had gotten Roman to kick open the door, breaking the lock in the process, and had then confiscated the jar and spoon Logan had in his hand. Logan was banned from eating Crofters for a long time and it was only recently he'd been allowed it again. Not that it really mattered anymore.

Logan screwed his eyes shut as he felt a stabbing pain in his chest and lungs everytime he took a breath. He had a single minute left. 60 seconds and then it would all be over.

He forced his eyes open and looked around his room, tears running down his face as his vision blurred slightly.

Not having a lock on his door had made it more difficult to hide what had been happening and he'd had to think up some rather ingenious places to hide the evidence, just in case someone burst in.

Logan felt something rising in his throat but could no longer lift his arms so he couldn't muffle the choking cough or stop the blood from trickling out of his mouth.

30 seconds.

His breathing was laboured and he shut his eyes. He thought once more back to Patton and the smallest of smiles spread across his lips as he remembered the one instance that had solidified his love for the moral trait.

"Logan could be a Gryffindor."

"and why is that Patton?"

"because he's my hero."

Logan started choking as his lungs seemed to stop functioning completely and he began to think of everything he’d to say to Patton if he had been there at that moment.

10 seconds.

"Patton I love you"

9.

"I'm sorry for everything."

8.

"I didn't want to trouble you"

7.

"it was easier this way"

6.

"me and my damn pride"

5.

"I never wanted you to see me like this"

4.

"if you're the one to find me I'm sorry"

3.

"I'm so fucking sorry"

2.

"maybe I should have said something sooner."

1.

"back when I first started coughing up  p  e  t  a  l  s "

Logans body went limp, a glistening string of blood and petals coming out of his mouth from where he'd fallen victim to the hanahaki disease.

Tags:@amethystdarkwolf @mcfreakin-childproof-caps @patchworkofstars @kitkat-doodles @unikornavenger @dolphin-squirrel @sympathetic-deceit-trash @starryfirefliesbloggo @cakercanart @neonb-fly @kaymischief25 @punsterterry @aprilthevene @theoddkidnextdoor @fuckingemoace @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom @im-so-infinitesimal @sea-blue-child @thecatchat @iris-sanders-athena @saphael-malec102 @smedenn @corkeecoderyt @sopi-montezzz @illogicaldeath @deadpanstar

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Speech Impediment - Chapter 6

Ships: Logicality, pining prinxiety, platonic dlamp

Summary: From one birthday to another, it’s now December and Virgil’s birthday is coming up. Roman, desperate to finally win Virgil’s hand, asks Dexter to help him plan the perfect gift. On top of helping his friends, finals are coming up and Dexter is getting lost in his studies. Stress builds up, and a phone call awaits him.

AO3 - Here

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5  Chapter 7

Creative writing, English Literature, Calculus, Biology, Anatomy; finals were in three days, seventy-two hours. Five classes, five tests, two hours each, ten total hours of testing. He has approximately thirty hours to study given all accountable variables. 

Over the past few days Dexter had practically lived in the library. Between tutoring lessons with Logan, where he and the rest of the gang would study together, and independent study, Dexter only ever left to go to class, eat, and sleep. His bodily fluids were practically composed entirely of caffeine at this point. This was his very first final as a college freshman, he needed to prove that it wasn’t a mistake to come here.

Dexter shook his head, ridding his mind of those thoughts, and brought his attention back to the paperwork before him. He was currently working on his anatomy study guide. Looking at the time on his cellphone he saw that it was past eight, the library would be closing in half an hour.

With a heavy sigh, Dexter closed his textbook, placed his work back in his bag, and got up to leave. There were only three other students still there besides himself, all looking wiped out from their studies as well.

The sun had surrendered to the moon long ago, leaving the world around him cold and dark, snow falling sleepily down to the earth from the heavens in a chilled kiss. Yep, that was overly descriptive, he must be a writer. The breeze nipped at his heels as he walked back to his dorm. A student was here or there, but most all were gone from the campus.

A fifteen minute walk brought him back to the tall, brick building. Once inside, Dexter shook off the snow that had accumulated on him. Dexter nodded to the dorm manager as he went by, heading up the flights to his room. He planned to simply shower, snack, then go to sleep, but once he saw Roman on his doorstep he knew that wouldn’t be the case.

Hearing footsteps, Roman looked up hopefully, then stood when he saw who it was. 

“Dex! ‘Bout time you got here. What the heck were you doing making me wait so long?”

“Huh? What don’t you mean?”

“I sent you a text dude!”

“Yes you did, I-” Sure enough the text was there, or rather several texts were.

Roman: Hey Dex meet me at you’re room in an hour Roman: im here Roman: Hellooooo? Roman: dude what the duck? where you at? Roman: **fuck autocorrect

“Resent me, I didn’t have my phone on silent.” Dexter apologized, scooting to the door to unlock it. “Why did you call Patton?”

“He’s staying at Lo’s tonight.” Roman replied simply, following Dexter in and making himself at home, just as they always did. Dexter had long since given up on trying to stop the others from taking his food from the mini fridge. Still, it stung to watch Roman take his favorite lemon yogurt.

“Oh.” Dexter said quietly, trying not to think to hard about what that meant. “So what don’t you want?”

Thus a flip was switched. Roman lost his confident composure, no longer sitting tall, instead he curled in on himself and awkward ate yogurt in a lame attempt to hide his blush. If Dexter had to take an educated guess, it probably had something to do with Virgil.

“Well uh- Virgil’s birthday is uh- in a few days and I’d like to um, I’d like t-to ask him o-out. Could you help me?”

Seeing Roman stutter and blush like a high school boy was the cutest thing ever. Only seeing Virge do the same would be better, and Dexter planned for that to happen.

“Well of course not.” Dexter told him, “But why me? Wouldn’t it be better to ask someone without experience? Logan and Patton wouldn’t be better.”

“Are you kidding? Logan may have been the one to ask Patton out, but he sucks at romance, and Patton... well he isn’t exactly helpful when it comes to wooing someone. Besides, I saw how amazing you are at gift giving from the heart, and you’re the second most creative here outside Virgil and I.”

“If you mean creative by not writing gory horror and suspense then sure.” Deceit mumbled under his breath as he looked through his messy desk for a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Finding one he began to write a list of every idea he could think of and a list of what they’d need for each one. Once complete he handed it over to Roman for him to chose what to do.

He read through it carefully, mulling over the pros and cons of each suggestion. It was a good few minutes before he looked up with his final decision.

“Number four.” He said with a grin.

Four. The scavenger hunt. Roman and Dexter would have to work together to take Virgil on a hunt, having clues leading him to the undecided final destination.

“So where aren’t you going to have him meet you?”

Roman smiled warmly, as if he was reliving the sweetest memory he ever made. Perhaps it was.

“Where we first met.”

Dexter bolted from his classes to the parking lot where he’d be meeting Roman to help him shop for materials. Careful not to slip as he went. If they were fast, he’d be able to make it in time for tutoring.

Shopping took longer than thought due to traffic caused by an accident on the road. Stupid black ice. Now they were both running late for tutoring session with Logan. When they had gotten there, Patton and Virgil were already at work, asking Logan questions for different subjects he could help with. They sat down and began to work to, saying nothing of their plans while Virgil was there.

Dexter wasn’t able to get as much done during tutoring because of their lack of time, but now he had to go help Roman with the planning and getting Logan and Patton to help them, without the emo present.

By the time he got back to the library after the planning session he had a little over and hour to study before it closes.  

When he had finally arrived at his dorm after all that it was nearing ten o’clock. Dexter had to stop at a nearby fast food place to grab an unhealthy dinner since the dorm kitchen was closed. This time Patton was there in their dorm, already preparing for bed. Exhausted, Dexter decided to skip dinner, putting his take out in the fridge and crawling into bed as well.

This went on over the next few days, back and forth between his studies, school, and assisting Roman. Now Dexter had to include helping Roman with his already overflowing workload. He was falling behind, which was cutting into his sleep schedule, which was messing with his productivity. He was happy to help Roman, but he wished he had asked him before finals week.

Even with all the stress, he had managed to make it work. He had just finished his last day of finals, and was rewarding himself with a nap. Other than his occasional spacing out, interruptive thoughts, and tired brain, Dexter thinks he did alright. Definitely didn’t fail any of them, but definitely didn’t ace them either. Ah puns, Patton’s rubbing off on him, Logan wouldn’t be pleased. 

After tomorrow he’d finally be able to relax and hibernate until the next semester.

At eleven am the next day, Logan delivered the note to send Virgil on the hunt. According to his text in the group chat, it took a while for Virgil agree to going on this hunt.

The first clue was in Patton and Dexter’s dorm, specifically the fridge he always raided for soda. A little doodle of a fridge and lemonade ginger ale led him there. Once he arrive, Patton was there to give him the next clue.

The second was at the coffee shop where Dexter first told them about his writing. Hinted at by the drawing of a coffee cup, a notebook, and a snake. When he arrived, Dexter was sitting in the booth, a cup off coffee and a note for Virgil.

The third clue was a picture of a ticket booth and a theater. With an annoyed groan, Virgil left to go after the next clue. Once he was gone Dexter left to help with the final step.

The fourth clue was a giant red, paper sign taped over the ticket booth sign on the side of the school theater. On the giant sign were the words: Go Where We First Met - R, accompanied with the drawings of a desk and a chair, and musical notes. Virgil smiled when he saw those words, because he knew that this was such a Roman kind of thing to do for his twentieth birthday.

He knew exactly where to go next from there. Heading the building right next to the theater, Virgil walked up to the floor where the drama room was. When he entered, he was slightly disappointed to find it empty. But in the center of the room was a lone laptop with a CD right next to it and a note that said “Play Me”.

Doing as the note said, he played the video and on came the song they had met to. American Idiot. As the song played on, bold letters came on the screen, detailing their story, as if he didn’t already now it.

They had met during Virgil’s audition to play in the band for the American Idiot Musical. The theater was busy that day, so auditions were held in the Drama room. 

Roman had been there to pick up the materials he had forgotten after class.

And that’s where he saw him.

Virgil hadn’t noticed him watching, too entranced in the song. But he did notice when a buffoon tripped over a chair and interrupted his audition.

Virgil chuckled when he read those words, remembering when that happened. He had sworn that he’d failed the audition because of a clumsy stranger. And a little more than pissed.

Virgil Black got the part and was sent to rehearsal four days a week. It was there that he got to know Roman Sanchez. 

What started as a silly rivalry soon turned to an awkward friendship. Which then turned to the friendship of a lifetime.

But as time went on, and the two entered into their second year of college, Roman’s feelings began to change. He wanted something more.

Virgil’s breath got caught in his throat. His heart began to beat faster. 

But Virgil seemed content with what they had and denied any attempts by Roman.

Roman could have given up and move on, but he wanted this to much to do so.

And I still do.

Will you go out with me, Virgil?

Virgil was in tears as he heard the song fade away, leaving him in silence, staring at a blank screen.

“Will you?” Roman’s voice sounded behind him.

Virgil whipped around to see Roman walking in from the teacher’s office. Having been hiding there the entire time until his cue. Virgil breathed heavily as he hastily rubbed at his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he had been crying.

“Couldn’t you have asked me like a normal person?” He bit back harshly, but Roman new he was simply embarrassed. 

“Would you have said yes?” He asked him, walking over slowly.

“Yes!” He shouted, still hiding his face in his hands, unable to stop the tears. “Princey I thought you were just kidding this entire time, I knew that you had a long history of dating guys so I thought you weren’t being serious.”

“That was back in high school.” He told him softly, kneeling down to his height, gently taking Virgil’s hands from his face. “I’ve never been more serious about anyone.” Virgil looked up at him slowly, eyes puffy and red. Roman thought it was absolutely adorable. “Virgil Black, will you go out with me?”

“Of course, stupid.” He said back, another round of tears falling, but he wasn’t the only one, as Roman began to cry as well. 

Dexter watched from the doorway, the rest in tow with him. They all silently cheered for their two friends, happy that their dumb tension was finally relieved.

“It’s about time.” Logan stated, leaning against the hallway wall, not needing to spy on them to know what happened.

“This was a really good idea, Dee.” Patton said to him gratefully, tears were also in his eyes as he watched from the doorway.

“Nope, I’m not glad they-” suddenly the buzzing of his cell in his back pocket stopped that train of thought. Good thing Dexter had made sure they put all of their phones on vibrate as to not disturb the new couple. 

Pulling out his phone he felt his hand go limp once he saw the Caller ID. The device fell from his fingers in what felt like slow motion. The sound of the crash alerted everyone around them. Pat and Lo were there first to ask him what was wrong, Roman and Virgil following a second after, their moment now forgotten.

They all asked what was the matter, concern washing over them as he didn’t say anything. However, they all went silent once they heard the fake sweet voice of his mother leaving a message on his phone.

“Hello Dexter, It’s your mother. I called to let you know that your Father, sister, and I will be visiting your campus before the start of the next to talk with all your professors. And of course to see you, haha. Please prepare for our arrival. Also, don’t trouble yourself with visiting us for Christmas, were sure you’d like to enjoy your break by yourself as you do with everything else. See you soon.”

The line went dead, the buzzing the only sound being made. The others looked to each other in confusion and concern. Dexter still said nothing. Picking up his phone he walked away, ignoring the calls directed at him from his friends.

Dexter didn’t mean to interrupt the moment or kill the mood, but he had to leave. He could allow his negativity to affect the rest of them.

His parents were always skeptical of him becoming a writer and tried to discourage him from doing so. It wasn’t because they weren’t sure he’d be successful, even they could see his talent for it, but rather because they were scared of his mind’s creation. His parents have always been frightened of the things he enjoyed, of the things he’d imagine, of him. They were worried that his writing would influence others to be like him, that they’d no longer be able to keep his existence in the dark.

But when Dexter came here, it was because he convinced them that he’d only use his skills to write non-fiction. He’d lied about it, but it was the only way to gain their support. However, if he failed a single class, or if they got a word from his professors about his writing, they’d take him out of school and he’d be forced to work in his dad’s shop.

In the back, stacking and unloading, hidden from the world so that no one could see the monster they had brought into the world.

.

.

Gosh I once again was getting emotional over my own freaking story. Love Prinxiety. 

Y’all are going to be meeting Dexter’s parents soon, to be warned, they’re cynical assholes.

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