#remember when they went on a beach vacation after summer camp where nothing bad happened at all ever?

[emmagail-brainrot]

Emma: *just standing there*

Abigail: holy shit holy shit holy shit holy shit-

[spacereadinglesbian]

Dear TJ

Summary: Cyrus writes TJ a letter while he’s in the hospital for a suicide attempt.

Trigger warnings ⚠️ Metion of suicide attempt (nothing heavy)

Word count: 1806

Dear TJ,

While you’re reading this your head is probably laying down on a rough hospital pillow and your body is covered by the fuzzy blankets I brought to you three days ago. You’re probably wondering why I’m writing you a letter instead of a phone call, well the answers simple. The hospital monitors phone calls and this is more personable. I don’t really know how start this, that might be why I’m rambling on, I don’t want to say the wrong thing, well write the wrong thing.

Do you remember when we were 14, and going into our freshmen year of high school? We were treading on the line of friends and more than friends. God, I never thought that I would actually being dating THE Theodore James Kippen. Do you remember that night when I was sleeping over at your house and you said “let’s sneak out.” I was so nervous, but at the same time I wanted to impress you. You packed a blanket and an extra hoodie in your bag and we climbed out the window, we headed to the beach. We held hands the whole 37 minute walk there, the only time we let go was when you talked with your hands. I hated it when you talked with your hands that night because I missed the feel of your soft skin on mine. We talked about everything and nothing all in one. I told you about my schedule that the school sent me and you told me about that book you just read. I was still in shock that you were a huge ass nerd. When we finally got to the beach we laid out the blanket you packed and sat on the sand. I laid my head down on your chest and both our hearts were beating abnormally fast. I’ll never forget the cheesiest words that you ever said to me “my heart only beats like this for you.” I knew at the moment that I was falling in love. I decided to take a leap faith and start leaning in to kiss you but, you had the same idea. This wasn’t our first kiss and it sure wasn’t going to be our last but it was special. It said everything we were scared to say and more. We stayed like that, exchanging kisses with the stars in the sky for a while, I felt safe, damn I never felt that safe before. When we pulled apart your eyes were sparkling and your smile was even more gorgeous than the night sky. You took my hand and said “Cy, let’s go skinny dipping.” I thought you were crazy. The only thing going through my mind was “I’m going to get hypothermia and die” but I was drunk on love and decided to go anyway. It was 1’ o’clock in the morning and we were running into the ocean, we were the only two people in the world at that moment. I wanted to stay in that one moment forever. Once we got out of the ocean we put out clothes back on and cuddled under the blanket. You whispered in my ear “Cyrus Joshua Goodman, I’m falling in love with you. Please don’t break my heart.” My reply is still the same today “I don’t plan on it.”

I guess I’m just going down memory lane because all I can think about right now is our freshmen homecoming dance. Do you remember how you asked me? You pulled a Troy Bolton and got the whole basketball team together. Every single player had a tshirt with a different letter and colour on it representing a rainbow, in spelt out “HOMECOMING?” I jumped into your arms with an excited yes.

That Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. We were so excited. You told me the seniors on the basketball team said “Kippen, you don’t wear tuxes, you wear dress pants and a dress shirt. Got it?” We went out and both bought black dress pants, you bought a grey button down with a yellow tie, I got a yellow button down with a grey tie. Your mom wouldn’t stop taking pictures of us. At one point you yelled “MOM! I KNOW WE’RE THE CUTEST COUPLE AT GRANT BUT YOU GOTTA TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH.” I kinda wish you took your own advice because you went haywire when we didn’t win homecoming court. When Melissa Jacobs and Josiah Grant won, you yelled “THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA!” Then we left. We went to Denny’s and shared the all you can eat pancakes and bottomless coffee. We were there until 12 am. I think that was one of my favourite nights.

Christmas vacation our sophomore year. We’ve been together for a little over a year and I wanted this to be absolutely perfect for you. You told me that your Christmas will be perfect if you had me by your side. I went shopping for weeks having no clue what to get you until I saw it. It was a key chain that said “drive safe, I need you home. Love Cyrus.” I also got you a sugar cookie candle with our picture on it. We begged your mom for weeks to let me spend the night, and on the 22nd and she actually let me. We spent that whole night in a blanket fort watching Christmas movies (even though I’m Jewish) and stealing kisses. You snuck down to the basement and stole a bottle of wine out of your moms wine cabinet. We knew we could get caught but we didn’t care. We finished the whole bottle and by the end we were a laughing mess, I can’t believe we didn’t wake your parents. That night I fell asleep with my head on your chest and your arm around my body, the next morning I woke up with a hangover. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing.

The summer going into our junior year of high school was magical. We went camping and hiking, we stayed up to see the sun rise. We picked flowers in flower fields and you taught me how to surf. I never thought I could fall more in love with you than I already was, but that summer proved me wrong.

I’ll never forget that night when there was a knock on my window at 1:37 am. I got out of my bed wearing your oversized gym shorts and that’s when I saw you. You were wearing your glasses but, your eyes were still puffy from crying. I slowly tried to help you get into my bedroom, once you hit the floor the tears started rolling out of you. We sat there on the floor for what felt like centuries. You laid your head on my lap while I played with your hair and whispered calming things into your ear. Once your tears subsided I asked what was going on. Your answer was “I have no clue.” We spent the rest of the night cuddled in my bed watching re-runs of friends and eating cookie dough ice cream. The next day you went to the doctors and got on antidepressants.

The few months following your doctors appointment were rough, but babe we got through them, and we learned to love each other even more.

Then last week happened. You texted me and told me that you were staying home from school because “you weren’t feeling it” I understood. I went through the whole day knowing I was going to surprise you at home after school, but then I got a text message. The text said “I love you.” I knew I shouldn’t be worried about it, but I was. I left the school as soon as I read it and hurried to your house. It was only a 5 minute drive. The door was locked but luckily I knew where the spare key was kept, it was under the flower pot. I stepped into your yellow house calling out your name. I got no response. I went into your room and that’s where I saw you. I was so thankful, I thought you were just taking a nap so I thought I’d join you. That’s when I got closer and realised that was all a fantasy. You had pill bottles littering your floor. Your anti-depressant, sleeping pills, and some of your moms prescribed pain killers. I froze at the moment, I had no clue how bad it was. I called 9-1-1 and that’s when the words suicide attempt exited my mouth. The ambulance came fast, and I called your mom, she said she’d meet us at the hospital. The ambulance wouldn’t let me drive with them, I followed them in my car. I waited in the waiting room for 6 hours, on edge, we didn’t know if you were alive. The doctors finally came out and told us we could see you. When I saw you, tears fell out of both of our eyes. The only words coming out of your mouth was the repetition of “I’m sorry.” I said it then, and dammit I’ll say it again, TJ you have nothing to be sorry about. That night I spent the night in your hospital room, the next morning you were being transported to a hospital for teenagers with mental health issues. Your nurse told me that I shouldn’t see you everyday. It might make your recovery harder, and you need to find the strength to wake up in the morning. If you think I haven’t seen you in three days because I fell out of love with you, it’s the exact opposite. I haven’t seen you because I love you. I need you to get better Teej. The amount of times I’ve been in that parking lot a drove away is crazy, I’m hoping they don’t have security cameras because they probably think I’m stalking a patient. I need you to know that I love you.

Theodore, I know these few months are going to be rough, but you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m going to be here for you through your highs and lows, ups and downs. I’ll be there when you can’t sleep or when you feel like you can’t wake up. You are worth more than the stars in the sky, and I can’t imagine a life without you. You’re strong and brave and beautiful and miraculous. You’re going to get through this. And I’m going to love you through it all.

I’ll see you tomorrow with some sweatshirts, sweatpants, pens and notebooks, I might even bring a coffee if they allow it. Then I won’t see you until you get out.

Theodore James Kippen, I am so utterly in love with you. Hold on for me please.

Love always,

Cyrus

[saturnsovereign]

all the numbers

aight, i got nothing else to do. i’ll try to keep them less than a paragraph short tho. 

1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.First, I’d have to decide my overall favorite movie, but I don’t have a Favorite ya know. But if I had to pick some, my default answer is Beauty and the Beast and Treasure Planet. I don’t really remember watching Beauty and the Beast but I do know that I loved their soundtrack. Treasure Planet, I’d seen some clips on youtube and one of them made me cry so I thought I’d check it out and man I loved it bc of the adventure and space and pirates. :D

2: Talk about your first kiss.My first kiss happened the summer of my Sophomore-Junior year of HS and its what set up the drama for Junior year. Anyway, confused feelings had been in place beforehand and I had gotten with and broke-up with my ex-bf in a little more than a month due to conflicting feelings that I realized during our band trip to Disneyland. Fast forward a few months, my friend confessed her feelings for me first over text, and I said I felt the same way. She invites me to her birthday party which was a sleepover. Once everybody fell asleep I kissed her on the cheek and I thought that would be it, but she pulled me back for a kiss on the lips… and then we had a makeout session for like the whole night. Then a few weeks pass and she dumps me. :/ What made it worse was that she held it over me for the rest of the school year since we were on the same team together. 

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.This one is easily my girlfriend. I’ve told the story about the prank and our fake dating shenanigans, but lord I fell for her so hard. I have a thing about touch, and I don’t really like it when people touch me all the time or without permission. But with her man.. her hugs–I’m shorter than her so she basically envelopes me and like I still think back to the first day I came back after That Day which was band camp weekend but man that was a good hug and we weren’t even dating yet. Sorry, I digress, but I found her so much easier to trust than everybody else I’d been with. Like with my ex-bf I was always holding back my actual feelings/pretend everything was ok and with ss I always had to watch my language, and like with both of them I never got around to fully trusting. But with her-my gf-I trusted her before we started dating and I trusted her so much more after we got together. I trust her still to this day. And with the romantic feelings bit, I’m not afraid of being a dork around her and flirt with her and hold her and god. She’s so beautiful. 

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.There’s a lot of things I regret. But I think rn, the one I can tell you is that I didn’t work hard enough in high school bc I never thought I’d make it through high school. 

5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had.This last one actually. Heh. I got to spend my day with my gf :)

6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had.I don’t really have bad birthdays, I just hate my birthdays bc I don’t like having been born. :/

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.Idk what exactly is my biggest insecurity but I’ll talk about all my other insecurities. I think I’m a horrible conversationalist, being all awkward and highly introverted. I don’t complain about my body too much but I certainly don’t celebrate it. I hate my laugh and my voice, and I don’t think my face is really anything to look at I used to think everybody just talked to me because they had no other choice but to. I feel easily replaceable and forgettable. I feel like I’m dumb af bc I’m not exactly the quickest thinker and sometimes I can’t hear people. I feel like I’m always doing the wrong thing and I stand out but not in a good way. I just feel like a good annoyance in general. 

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.I’m proud of being able to graduate high school. :/9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.I like my calves, they’re the only thing that show I have some muscle. I used to like my biceps too but they’ve deflated and there’s like no muscle there anymore. I like that my ears can do the little wiggle thingy. Also my hands can type medium-fast speed. 

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.The biggest fight I’ve had is with myself ever since I wanted to kms. But if you want an external fight, its probably the one between me and ss since that shit lasted hella long. 

11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had.I don’t remember dreams unless they’re really weird.12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had.Idk if you’d count it as a nightmare bc it was just super weird but I remember a dream about people getting turned it leaves, and witches, and Professor X and idk its all just a mess. 

13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.The first time I had sex was in the guard room. And like it was weird bc I’ve never masturbated and stuff so I didn’t know how anything felt down there. I’ve never used a tampon by then so I’ve never had anything inserted there. Also I was pretty unaware where tf my clit was… So. My point is, there was a lot of confusing sensations but I didn’t really mind bc it was my gf who took my virginity. 

14: Talk about a vacation.I went to Lake Tahoe with my gf and her family and we did like hella romantic shit. Like we went on a stroll on the beach at night with all the constellations and we did stuff in bed and we went to an arcade and we swam and man that was a lot of fun. I was on my period tho for most of it, which sucked but. 🤷🏻‍♀️

15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.I just really think about the times my gf would hold me and I’d focus on her heartbeat and the feel of her and nothing else. 16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to.idk about this one. With parties, I usually get peopled out. 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.I don’t have anyone rn since school hasn’t started yet for me and also I’m pretty anti-social. :/18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.I was known for being the most aggressive girl/team member in gym floor hockey during PE. So like, picture this, from 3rd graders to 6th graders all being in the same PE class since there were so little of us. Now imagine smaller me coming up behind a taller, older boy and ramming them into the wall in order to get the hockey puck. Also imagine smaller me, sprinting–and I was the fastest girl in my grade for a while–and practically charging at you to get that hockey puck. Needless to say, people liked being on my team. 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.I was in 7th grade, and I had just transferred into my new school. I had been sitting alone at lunch, minding my own business, and reading a book when three girls come up to me. They introduce themselves and invite me to sit at lunch with them. They really helped. 

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.For my final english project in senior year, we had to do a live acting of Romeo and Juliet. I was in the odd ones out group and it had a bunch of people who would never be in a group together unless they were forced to- which we were. I had done all the preparation for the script, it was like two days before the final date and we agreed to meet at the park’s ampitheater to do a final run together. I had just come back from performing at a parade and lord I was tired. We were fighting about how things were supposed to go a lot. 

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.During 8th grade, I got transferred into another PE class since I signed up for creative writing and there was only one period of it. I don’t remember how, but I eventually became friends with this scrawny kid named Tiger.. no joke. Anyway, I distinctly remember one time we were sitting inside on some bleachers and there were those jerk-y middle school boys behind us and they started picking on him. I remember looking at them and like telling something along the lines of back off. Anyway, skipping to 8th grade dance, I was with my friends when Tiger came along and asked for me to slow dance with him. I did. He was the second person I slow danced with. After a few slow dances my friends were making fun of me for it, but like not bc of him, more that someone asked me to slow dance and they were like poking harmless fun. Thing was, I knew he had a crush on me but I really didn’t return the feelings. Moving on to freshmen year, he calls up my mom due to bowditch directory, and asked me to go to the movies with him. I had to turn him down. 22: Talk about your worst fear.My worst fear, there are a good few fears that tie for that spot. My first one is my fear of abandonment and like disappointing everyone to the point that they just realize its better to go on without me. To an extent, its my fear of being forgotten. My second one, the fear of myself, or rather my intrusive thoughts, and being faced with all things I’ve done and thought, knowing everything that’s happened is my fault and getting confirmation of that. Fear that I’d hurt someone because of something I did. The third one is losing everything that matters to me. 

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.Let’s just talk about my “breakup” with SS during Sophomore-Junior summer bc it was kinda shitty. The reason its in quotations is bc is it actually a break-up if you were never officially together in the first place. Like, the details get muddled up but she essentially told me over text. I remember this because I was just coming back from working on my drum major routine over the summer, I was on a bridge when I got the text. Something along the lines of her parents and her religion and stuff. It really sucked bc it was before I would leave for guard camp and the people who were going with me had shipped both me and her together. :/

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.There was one time in Brentwood and one time after SCVC camp. But thats between me and her.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.For the 4th time today, I’m talking about SS. Like c’mon universe really? Anyway, she was a best friend but honestly man, she wasn’t even the best of my friends. She was a close friend, but she wasn’t the best friend. It didn’t help that I had had a crush on her for half the time before our really bad and long ass fight. 26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.I just realized I haven’t been properly sick in a while like sick with a fever so I actually have to stay in bed. Like I’d usually get like sniffles and a cough but I’d be okay for the day. So like, I like piling myself in blankets and hide from the world really. 

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.The eyes will always get me. Take that and add a smile, and bruh. Thats beauty. 

28: Talk about your fetishes.Forgive me, but I had to search these up bc I didn’t know what exactly counted as a fetish. So like if something isn’t a fetish just like.. tell me or something. So like BDSM like light bondage and blindfold and stuff. Strap-on. Dom/Sub stuff and like orgasm control/denial? Are hickies considered a fetish? I’m reading here something about being bitten but idk if that means voyeurism or like vampire roleplay or if they mean hickies. 

29: Talk about what turns you on.My gf ;) But like kissing. Neck and ear biting/nibbling.  Dry humping. Hair pulling- moreso bc of my haircut. Teasing. When my gf is being really dominant. Also when my gf is being really submissive and her moans. ;D

30: Talk about what turns you off.Those gifs of porn when you’re searching up a tag on tumblr and like bruh, I just wanted to see a pic about like puppy i didn’t need to see some bondage gay puppy roleplay like c’mon!

31: Talk about what you think death is like.A rest from the thoughts in your head. Quiet. The final escape. Maybe you get a second chance. That the next universe you experience, you’re in control, that you get to relive your life but better the next time around.  

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.I remember the first time I stepped foot in the Post Office in my hometown/childhood city. It looked different from the PO in place where we used to live. It was made of bricks and it looked really cool. I’ve only gone in once or twice but I remember all the PO boxes and the wooden shelves and getting to learn how to send a letter. Idk why exactly I remember this but yeah. 

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.Depends how sad I am. Sometimes I try to distract myself, sometimes I just stew in those thoughts. If its night, then I have a good chance of crying myself to sleep.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.Idk when I get leg cramps in the middle of the night. It used to happen all the time during Sophomore and Junior year and I’d feel it throughout the day. 

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.Living. heh. Procrastinating and being depressed. 

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.ml and pr. shhhh

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.5th time. Hopefully my last time talking about her. The reason that what happened between us hurt so much was bc I thought I was in love with her once. That’s why every time she’d shove a crush of hers in my face or something that I’d forgive her. But I got tired of it and waiting for her. I moved on. And it was a good decision bc I now have someone I really am in love with. But she didn’t like it, and apparently she had still “loved” me by letting me go, but thats just bullshit. That’s just bullshit. 

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.I have a whole playlist for my gf. And then there’s No by Meghan Trainor that my friend really hates XD

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.That I’d make it through HS and graduate. Maybe I could have built something up rather than assume I wouldn’t make it. 

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.It was my birthday, so it was the end of me being that age I was before. 

[myrish-lace-love]

Jonsa S7 Summer Challenge Day 4: Summer Nights

Summary:  Jon and Sansa are neighbors in the same apartment building who’ve grown closer over the past several months, and they’re in a relationship now. Jon’s a veteran with PTSD, so Sansa’s found a park they can go to that doesn’t allow fireworks. Sansa’s friends Margaery and Jeyne are along for the camping trip. and Jon thinks Margery’s up to something. She is, but he’s wrong about her motivations.For @jonsa-creatives Jonsa s7 summer challenge! 

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. 

***

They got hustled off the beach when dusk hit, and strolled back to Jon and Sansa’s campsite. 

Jon started to build up the fire in the big pit in the center of the lot. The park was packed, and they were surrounded on all sides by campers and trailers. But this spot had a few pine trees, which helped give it some privacy. The blue-green needles had fallen over many years and made a soft brown carpet on the ground.

Sansa went into the tent to change. She came out with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing shorts and a light blue cover-up.

She looked worried.

Jon started to walk over, when Sansa motioned to Jeyne. Jon gave the two some privacy.

“Hey, short dark and handsome. Some help here?” Margaery had her hands full with tinfoil and corn on the cob.

They grilled up steaks and corn. Just like Jon had, on the deck of the boat when he’d been with Pyp and Grenn and Sam. Sam’s 25th birthday celebration, where he and the other guys had rented a boat and went sailing around the Virgin islands. He’d asked Sansa if he could write to her, and he’d been relived when she said yes. He’d mailed her a letter at each port. Every time he wrote he’d worked up the courage to be more open about how much he cared about her.

In his last letter he’d come so close to telling her he loved her, but he couldn’t quite do it. She’d still met him at the airport with a hug he’d probably remember for the rest of his life, and they’d started dating right after that.

Jon kissed her cheek, once they’d arranged themselves in a circle around the fire. She still tasted faintly of sunblock, and that made him smile. She pulled back, but her eyes were shining.

“Hey, what was that for?”

“The food.”

Sansa raised an eyebrow at him. Right. She probably needed more detail.

“It’s what we grilled after we all were finally done being seasick. When we were sailing in the Virgin Islands. Reminded me how happy I was that you let me write to you.”

Sansa was the only person we knew who could make eating corn off the cob look delicate. “I kind of felt like I was there with you, when you wrote.”

“That’s what I wanted.” The trip had been wonderful but he’d missed her. A lot. He’d written to tell her about the beautiful sites they were seeing.

“For me to feel like I was there, or for me to be there?”

Both, Jon thought, but before he could answer, Margaery tapped Sansa on the shoulder.

“We have a problem, dear.”

“What is it, Marg?” Sansa set her plate aside.

Margaery looked guilty. “Well, it was my job to pack the marshmallows, remember? For s’mores? Except I didn’t.”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “Marg…”

“I know, I know. S’mores. We gotta have them.” Margaery looked contrite, for once.

Sansa nodded solemnly, There was some kind of tradition at work here, that these three girls had built up over years of camping trips. Jon gathered that s’mores mattered, a lot.

Margaery glanced at the car. “Jeyne and I’ll go get them.”

Sansa brushed her hands off. “No, stay here with Jon. We might need to go to more than one store. Jeyne and I can make it quick.”

“Okay, Sansa. I’m sorry, I really am. I know how much you like to have everything ready for trips like these.”

Sansa gave Margaery a warm smile. “It’s fine, Margaery. It’s like old times, when Arya would forget something. Sleeping bags or sunblock or–“

“Tent stakes,” Jeyne broke in, and all three girls groaned together. “God, that sucked. It poured rain too.”

Sansa’s mouth was turned up at the corner. “Arya ran around like a little banshee in it, too. Shrieking at the top of her lungs. She was thrilled.”

Sansa dusted off her hands. “Okay Jeyne, surgical strike, ready?”

“Born ready, Sansa.”

“Perfect. You two, stay here, we’ll be back in half an hour.”

“Yes Mom,” Margaery and Jon said together.

After the car pulled away, Jon was left staring into the fire with Margaery on the log next to him. The sun was almost set, and the trees cast long shadows over the campfire.  Night was approaching.

Thirty minutes had never seemed so long.

Margaery added wood to the fire, putting it just where Jon would have.

“So. Jon.”

Here we go. He did have to occasionally do a firmer brush-off, with some of the more insistent girls. He braced himself.

“I need you to explain to me, slowly and clearly, why you are making Sansa unhappy. And it had better be a good explanation.”

Margaery’s voice was sharp, sharp enough to make Jon look over at her.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I didn’t forget the marshmallows. They’re back at our campsite. I wouldn’t do that to Sansa on a trip like this. Nobody fucks with s’mores, so just jot that down.”

Margaery poked at the fire again, “Fortunately, she bought it. Anyway, spill. I want you to explain to me why my best friend keeps asking me whether her boyfriend thinks she’s attractive.”

Jon felt the earth shift underneath him. “I do,” he said. “I do, I think she’s beautiful.”

Margaery looked at him skeptically. “Do you make her feel that way?”

“I’ve told her.“ He had, he’d written it down, he’d whispered it in her ear…

“And you’re doing such a bang-up job that she’s pulling me aside on her vacation to ask if maybe I’m more your type that she is.”

Jon was angry, angry that Margaery was bringing this up. And angry, too, that he’d made Sansa uncertain about how he felt.

“You’re not my type,” Jon said through gritted teeth.

That had probably been too direct.

Margaery smiled. “I know. I told her if you think that poor, besotted boy has eyes for anyone but you, you’re crazy.”

She stared at the flames with her shoulders slumped. “It is a little blow to my ego.”

Jon tried to dredge up some kind of excuse this time, just out of politeness, but Margaery looked at him and chuckled.

“You are pretty gullible, huh? Don’t bother. Don’t care a bit. What you do need to do is make her feel wanted.”

Jon said nothing. If Margaery didn’t understand how tense Sansa was when she kissed him, he sure as hell wasn’t going to explain it. He wasn’t sulking. He was just protecting Sansa’s privacy.

Well, maybe a bit of both. He looked away, at the pine tree near the tent. At least we’ll have some shade. Hopefully we won’t be too hot in our sleeping bags in the morning. 

If Sansa even wanted him to join her.  If he hadn’t managed to botch this… 

Jon was so lost in thought that Margaery’s voice startled him.

“She’s asked me if there’s something wrong with her.”

That roused Jon out of his bad humor. “There’s nothing wrong with her.”

Margaery tilted her head. “Wow, you are kind of like a wolf when you get passionate, she’s right. Lucky her.”

Jon felt like his head was spinning. Wolf? Lucky? What?

“Anyway, all I’m saying is she’s she doesn’t know how you feel. She knows you like her, but she doesn’t know if you want her.”

Margaery flipped her hair away from her face. “Don’t get me wrong. Your letter serenade –  by the way don’t ever let anyone tell you that you don’t have a flair for the dramatic, because fancy stationary and handwritten letters and seriously? – convinced her you care about her. But it’s been what, two months? And all you’ve done is kiss her. You only ran your hand under her shirt once. She says that was just to steady her. I told her to try sucking on your tongue but–“

“Whoa, Marg, please.” Jon was pretty sure he was beet red. He’d heard plenty of guys brag about girls. But it was always very vague. This was almost a clinical level of detail.

Margaery smirked. “Too much? That’s how we talk. Anyway, you’re holding back.”

Jon felt his anger rise up again. “It’s not your business, Margaery.”

“She made it mine, when she asked me, and I’ve known her for eight years, not eight months, so forgive me if I’m pretty sure I know better than you do when she’s worried.” Margaery’s green eyes were fierce.

Not to be trifled with, Jon thought.

He nodded. “All right. Fine. That’s fair.”

Margaery picked up a bottle cap and fiddled with it. “It might not just be you, you know. She’s – well, this is really her story to tell, but she had a boyfriend a few years back who was a rare combination of whiny bitch and vicious asshole. He broke some of her confidence. Part of why I’ve been encouraging her to go after you.”

Jon was stunned. “You have?”

Margaery tossed the cap into the fire. “Encouraged her to see you were courting her like something out of an old-time movie. Look, you two seem good together. Just – remember she might need reassuring.” Margaery turned to him again.

“And if you hurt her, I will make it my mission to destroy you.”

Jon had seen sniper’s eyes, and he knew when a threat was real. There was steel in Margaery’s gaze.

“She’s lucky to have you,”  Jon said cautiously. He cleared his throat. “I’ll tell her, when she comes back, that it’s not you—“

Margaery threw her hands in the air. “Don’t mention me, you adorable idiot! Just focus on her, okay?”

“Okay. I’m…I’m sorry, Marg.”

“That you thought I was a grasping bitch trying to snatch Sansa’s boyfriend away?” Margaery gave him a dazzling smile.

He didn’t see any point in denying it. “Yeah.”

Margaery patted his arm. “Don’t be. Make it up to me by making her happy. Whatever that means to her. Got it? I sacrificed s’mores cred for you, and I hardly know you, so you owe me.”

“Got it.”

Jon heard the car pull up onto the gravel before Margaery did. Thank god. Not that he didn’t have a lot to think about.

Sansa and Jeyne hopped out.

“Hey you two!” Jeyne called. “The store was packed, so we had to drive two towns over–“

“Because s’mores are happening,” Sansa finished.

Margaery smiled. “Hit me with ‘em Jeyne.” Jeyne lobbed the bag to Margaery, who caught it easily.

“It’s chocolate time.” All three girls got the same dreamy expression on their face. Jon wondered if they knew how similar they looked.

Margaery nudged him. “Stop smirking Snow. Just because you don’t understand the orgasmic power of chocolate-“

That was more than enough of that. “Anyway I’m going to go – check the tent stakes.” he muttered.

Margeary took Jeyne’s hand. “I’ve got some really good Oberyn gossip for you doll. Let’s head back to our place.”

Jeyne pouted. “No campfire stories?”

“Maybe tomorrow. It’s really juicy, I promise.” Margaery gave Jon a pointed look over her shoulder as Margaery and Jeyne strolled away to their campground. 

[littlemissmeggie]

92 truths

i was tagged by @1dfourinfinity​, @galeaya067​, and @jjfrommn​ (who tagged me over at my main blog but i’m going to do it here) like a week and a half ago. sorry it’s taken so long! thank you all for tagging me!

Rules: Write 92 truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

what was your…

last drink: a cup of tea in my cute harry fanart mug

last phone call: ugh. i spent like 45 minutes on the phone with my internet provider yesterday setting up a time for a tech guy to come replace my modem.

last text message: “hahaha! there’s someone in my building/neighbourhood that’s ‘the west wing.’” talking about people’s wifi names because i just renamed mine “gryffindor tower” after the internet guy set up my new modem.

last song you listened to: “screen” by twenty one pilots

last time you cried: sunday night. my mom and i were telling my brother a story about the night we hit a deer and an owl within two miles of each other because he was only a few months old at the time. it’s a super weird, funny story and we were all laughing so hard we were crying. (the deer was fine. we brought the owl home and called a local animal rehab place and they came to take the owl the next day and then sent us a picture in the mail of the owl being released back to the wild.)

have you ever…

dated someone twice: kind of? i dated this kid john for a while and then we broke up because he was joining the army and then we got back together for like a month when he came back from boot camp and then we broke up again.

been cheated on: yes. by my first boyfriend with this girl who was a total bitch to me. 😒 

kissed someone and regretted it: nope

lost someone special: well, my grandmother passed away about seven and a half years ago and that was tough because we were very close. my great uncle eddie, who was like a second grandfather, passed away a little over three years ago and that was tough too. i’ve also lost some good friends because i’m terrible at keeping in touch with people when i no longer see them regularly. and there’s a whole long story about my cousin, who was my best friend since we were babies until about a year and a half ago when he got married.

been depressed: yeah. i’ve had bouts of depression since my teens. i’ve been doing all right lately though.

in the past year have you…

made a new friend: i’ve made some friends here on tumblr, which is really awesome. i guess i made a few new “work friends” when i started at the country club last summer too, so that’s kind of cool.

fallen out of love: not in the past year.

laughed until you cried: pretty much any time i’m with my mom and my sister or we are texting in our group chat. 

met someone who changed you: well, i like to think that everyone you meet changes you, sort of in the butterfly effect kind of way, so yes. i’ve met a lot of new people in the past year. 

found out who your true friends are: i don’t feel like i’ve really had anything happen in the past year that would have proved who my “true friends” are. 

kissed anyone on your followers/following: no

how many people on your tumblr do you know irl: i knew one of my mutuals long before tumblr was even a thing. other than that, i’ve met @1dfourinfinity and @narryintheam​ when we went to see niall on the today show in october. and there’s my group chat and @kirrylovesnarry​ who i’ve never met in real life but who i talk to all of the time. 

do you want to change your name: the name on my birth certificate is not meggie and no, i won’t tell you what it actually is, but i’ve never been called by the name on my birth certificate except in situations where they’re only calling me by my legal name. my cousin mentioned above didn’t know my real name until we were 8. so, to answer the question, i would love to legally change my name to meggie but i think it would really hurt my mom’s feelings because it’s a family name.

what time did you wake up today: 7:43am

what were you doing at midnight last night: i was actually going to bed, which never happens that early.

name something you can’t wait for: summer

what is the one thing you wish you could change about your life: i just wish i had a bit more money because finances get a little tight in the winter with heat bills and fewer work hours since the country club closes for the winter and i’m only working part-time at my other job.

what are you listening to right now: my boyfriend talking to his friend on the phone. or like in general? because i’ve been on a twenty one pilots kick lately.

whats getting on your nerves right now: one of my cats is in heat right now and she keeps making this really annoying crying meow.

about me…

nicknames: meg, megs, megaleg, megapalooza, miss meg/miss meggie (hence my url), mugzi/mugz, and megatron by my family; pookie, pumpkin, and punky by my boyfriend.

relationship: i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost six and a half years.

zodiac sign: libra/scorpio. i’m born on the day it changes so some things list me as the last day of libra and others have me as the first day of scorpio. i used a calculator thing where you put in the time you were born and everything once and it said i was scorpio. if i’d been born, like, three hours earlier, it would have been libra. but i definitely have both libra and scorpio traits.

pronouns: she/her

favourite TV shows: breaking bad, buffy the vampire slayer, 3rd rock from the sun, it’s always sunny in philadelphia, the sopranos, arrested development, and the original csi.

school: i graduated from the culinary institute of america in may 2010.

hair colour: brown with natural reddish-blond streaks. i’ve never dyed it.

long or short hair: i wore my hair short (like, super short) from the age of 7 to about 23 and then i grew it out really long. i cut it chin-length and donated it almost two years ago and realised i like it better long now. weird how life changes.

do I have a crush on someone: does my boyfriend count? 

what do you like about yourself: i’m smart and funny, in an odd way. i’m talented, though most of them are wasted talents. i’m very good at my jobs and i’m a hard worker. i’m nice. i’m a strong person; i’ve been through a lot of shitty things in my life but i’m still here and i try to learn and grow from the shitty things as much as i can.

firsts…

first surgery ever: i had two hernias removed when i was, like, 3.

first piercing: i don’t have any piercings.

first sport you joined: my parents signed me up for kiddie soccer when i was maybe 4 because they wanted me to make new friends other than my cousin zak. i cried on the second day because i hated it so much. 

first vacation: probably rehoboth beach, delaware. family tradition from when my mom was maybe 6 years old until my parents got divorced fifteen years ago.

first pair of trainers/sneakers: i’m 29. i don’t remember my first pair of sneakers. probably just white keds or something.

right now…

eating: nothing but my boyfriend’s making dinner right now.

drinking: water and tea now

listening to: my boyfriend making dinner

waiting for: dinner. i’m starving. 

wanting kids: not really, unless my boyfriend really wants kids someday. i’m not a very maternal person.

career: i’m an assistant at cooking classes, though i’m going to apply for a position as an instructor. during the summer/early fall, i also work as the sous chef at the country club in my town.

romantic stuff…

lips or eyes: eyes probably.

hugs or kisses: um, kisses i guess. i don’t really like hugging people. i guess i hug my boyfriend in a romantic way though, if that makes sense? i just don’t really like hugging.

shorter or taller: taller. my boyfriend’s 6′. i dated a guy who was 6′3″ for a while, which was funny to see because i’m only 5′.

older or younger: i’ve almost always dated guys who were at least a year older than me. my boyfriend is twelve years older than me. my second longest relationship, though, was with a guy who was three years younger than me.

romantic or spontaneous: can’t you be both?

sensitive or loud: both? i’m not an overly sensitive person…

hookup or relationship: relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: i’m not sure how those are really opposites so i’m not sure how to answer. just someone who’s not boring but doesn’t get into trouble with the law, i guess?

have you ever…

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: i like whiskey and gin though i don’t drink often. 

lost glasses or contacts: i don’t wear glasses or contacts, so no. 

been arrested: no

turned someone down: yes

cried when someone died: obviously. i may not be overly sensitive but i still cry when people die.

fallen for a friend: yes. i was in love with my best friend for a while.

do you believe…

in yourself: usually. i’ll go through a period of, like, two days where i’m all down on myself and then i realise i’m actually pretty cool.

miracles: yes

love at first sight: infatuation, maybe. love, no. 

santa claus: i did when i was a kid. i no longer do, though.

kiss on the first date: depends on the person and how the date goes.

i’m not tagging anyone because i just tagged a bunch of people in another thing, but do this if you’d like to and tag me so i can see it!