#rep tour prep

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Proposal

Part One of Three Years

Masterlist | Year One

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x Reader

Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only.

Length: 4.3K

Notes: ....Hi! This is the first of 2-3 fic drops. I'm hoping to push all five chapters of this fic out this weekend. Also I started writing this before the current AI market explosion. Not beta-read. Never beta-read.

Warnings: Cursing; angst; enemies to enemies who fuck; tech-talk; angst (I know I said it before but really); Nathan being Nathan

Summary: He’s shorter than you thought he’d be.

Nathan Bateman isn’t unattractive, or short, even, he’s just…Shorter. 

Of all of the things that you thought you’d feel about Nathan Bateman’s visit, surprised wasn’t what you thought would be first. Shit-scared, sure. Insanely nervous, absolutely. Surprised by his height? Not on your list.

“This could be huge for us.” 

Jenn looks at once desperate and wild-eyed as she paces in her office. You watch her closely, taking in the dark circles under her dark eyes. Her typically California-tan skin is pallid from her recent late nights, and her days spent indoors. The company is running her ragged—and this potential seed money from Nathan Bateman is throwing her into the craziest tizzy you’ve ever seen. She sweeps her hands through her frizzed auburn hair before she raises her nails to her mouth.

“I mean,” She mutters, continuing to pace, voice muffled as she chews her nails, “If we get Bateman’s backing, that’d be great, but if I can get him on the board.” She stops finally, turning to face you, lowering her chewed nails from her mouth. “That would send us into the fucking stratosphere.” 

“...Okay,” You sit up a touch. You don’t want to be a buzzkill, but you need to bring Jenn down from the fucking stratosphere. “Nathan Bateman has scheduled a meeting. Okay? A meeting. One,” You raise your finger. 

“He’s having his team go over our numbers—” 

“I know that. He’s doing the due diligence that anyone coming in would be expected to do. Just, don’t put all of your eggs in one basket when we haven’t even gotten the basket yet.” 

“Come on,” Jenn groans. “I could be the next Steve Jobs!” 

“Yes, you absolutely could. But if you keep putting your focus on the idea stuff and not on the structure and application stuff, you’re going to be the next Elizabeth Holmes. And honey, I love you, but you do not look good in orange.” 

Jenn deflates just a little, slouching back against the windows that stretch from the floor to the ceiling. 

“...It clashes with my hair,” She grumbles. 

“I’m not saying don’t be excited at all," You insist, "I’m just saying…We’re bringing him in to talk about financing. How freaked out would you be if you went on a first date with someone and instead of asking for a second date, they said, Hey this was fun, let’s get married.”

“...Pretty freaked.” 

“Right. And asking someone to join the board is like a business-y 3.5 carat pear cut diamond on an infinity band. So. Let's schedule an All Hands, give the team a heads up, get them prepped. Before that, though, we need to get you some fucking lunch and some sunshine.” 

“You’re my sunshine.” 

“Awww,” You coo before you get up, adding, “Seriously. Get your phone and your sunglasses, we’re going out.” 

“But I have an email from prod—” 

“Production about the user profile settings set to drop at the end of the week. I know, I answered it already. Phone. Sunglasses. Lunch. Let’s go.” 

"You'll be here, right?"

You frown, shaking your head in slight confusion, and Jenn clarifies: "For his tour. You'll be here?"

You consider, glancing at your phone. If you can get the time off—but that's no guarantee.

"I'll try."

--  

When Jenn started Sc(ai)le three years ago, you’d had no idea that it would take off the way it would. You knew that Jenn was brilliant, you’d never had a doubt about that. But you couldn’t have anticipated how quickly varying industries moved to scale AI. Jenn had assembled a team of engineers, scientists, and sales reps. She trusts her teams, and they work hard to keep the company in motion.

But Jenn still insists in being very much hands-on everywhere she possibly can, sometimes to hers and the company’s detriment. She needs a Chief Knowledge officer, a Chief Information officer, and a Chief Marketing officer. She has a Chief Tech officer, a Chief Financial officer, a Chief Compliance officer, a Chief Data officer—all incredibly knowledgeable in their fields. She wants a board, too, but you’re worried that the company may still be too young for it. 

You work with the SVP of Marketing now and again, helping her to manage the way marketing materials are created, where they’re stored, and how they’re distributed. You’re working with Sc(ai)le part-time, on a temporary basis (though it’s technically been ‘temporary’ since the company started). Jenn needs an official team, with people that can work with her full-fucking-time. You have a full-time job at a separate tech company, one that’s well away from the AI space. You’d been worried their hackles would be raised when you informed them that you’d be taking a part-time position elsewhere, but they hadn’t even flinched. 

Hell, your manager had asked you if you’d be able to get them an employee discount. You may just have to take a few days off for Bateman’s visit.

You don’t blame Jenn for being so excited, or so nervous. 

Nathan fucking Bateman? This is huge. 

But if both of you have your heads in the fucking clouds, neither of you are gonna make it out of orbit. So you’ll keep yourself grounded, and bring Jenn back down to Earth if you absolutely have to. 

-- 

He’s shorter than you thought he’d be.

Nathan Bateman isn’t unattractive, or short, even, he’s just…Shorter. 

Of all of the things that you thought you’d feel about Nathan Bateman’s visit, surprised wasn’t what you thought would be first. Shit-scared, sure. Insanely nervous, absolutely. Surprised by his height? Not on your list.

You glance over at Jenn to find her tipping her chin up, slapping on her I Should Be On the Cover of Forbes smile. It’s the smile that’s brought every other investor on board. It’s the smile that’s brought on every single team member in the company. Now, you can only hope that it’ll bring Nathan Bateman into her coffers.

Where you’d typically leave Jenn to finesse any other investor, you stick close by. You trail Bateman and Jenn by a few steps as she directs him around the offices, and the facility. 

He asks a fair number of questions. A few are unexpected, but for the most part, they’re things that you and Jenn had anticipated. The three of you come to a stop overlooking a row of engineers. You don’t want to appear nonchalant, but with Bateman and Jenn focused elsewhere, you allow yourself to lean back against the wall, eyeing the room. It’s then that you see an engineer flagging you down, a harried look on her face. You glance toward Bateman and Jenn’s heads and make sure they’re distracted before you push yourself off of the wall, skirting around the two and walking over to her as calmly as possible. 

“What’s up?” You ask, crouching down beside the engineer’s desk. 

“The marketing team sent through a brief about the user profiles—” 

“Uh-huh—” 

“And there’s an error regarding the, uh—The functionality.” 

“Okay. Where’s the problem, what’s the fix?” 

“Our systems are starting at Mac- or Blue-OS compatible.” 

“But not Windows?” 

“Most of the companies we use don’t touch Windows OS anymore.” 

“But we have got a few clients that do.” 

“Yes, we’re—We’re working on it. But this can’t go out like this, it’s not correct.” 

“Okay,” You nod, mind racing through the possible, necessary fixes. “Okay. Could I use your laptop for a second?” 

“Sure.” 

The engineer starts to stand, but you wave her back into her seat, just turn the laptop toward yourself. You hurriedly log into your email on a web page, and tap out an email to the marketing SVP. 

“Mac and Blue only,” You reiterate as you type. 

“—But not Windows, yep.” 

“Do we have an expected date on Windows functionality?” 

“Q2 of next year—Maybe Q1, but—” 

“We don’t wanna over-promise and underdeliver,” You shoot the engineer a smile. “I appreciate the honesty.” 

The engineer nods hurriedly. You feel her casting a glance behind you, but you’re already turning back to the laptop, practically hammering the keys as you send out the message. You lean back, reading and rereading the message before you CC your work email, Jenn’s, and the engineer in question. Then you send it, straighten up, and sign out of the email. 

“I’ve put myself and Jenn on the email, we will take it from here. Thank you so much for flagging that—And if anything comes up, please text, email, slack me. Anything.” 

“Thank you!” 

“No, thank you,” You insist, patting her shoulder. You straighten and turn, and freeze immediately at the sight of Jenn and Bateman standing just behind you. You swallow thickly, fighting to keep a straight face. 

“I didn’t mean to hold up the tour,” You apologize. “You guys could’ve moved on, I would’ve caught up.” 

“Everything alright?” Bateman asks, nodding toward the engineer. 

“Yes. Just a little communications update.” You give them both a reassured smile. “Why don’t we continue?” You add, nodding down the hall. 

--  

“What are you doing for dinner tomorrow?” 

It’s a question that he should be asking Jenn, and that’s why your mouth works wordlessly, your brow furrowing heavily. It’s a bad look—Nathan Bateman has asked you a simple question, and you’re floundering like a landed fish. 

“Uh—Shoving something in the microwave, probably?” You manage with a shaky laugh as you put your laptop into your bag. You haven't been able to take the time off as much time as you’d hoped, and you’ll have to make up what time you have taken to keep yourself on track. “I’m working a double, so, I’ll get off shift around one in the morning.” 

“A double.” 

“...Yes? It’s when you work two shifts at—” 

“I know what a double is.” 

Jeez, of course he does. 

“Right. Sorry. You seemed—...Anyway.” 

“I seemed what?” 

Confused is the wrong word to use with this man. 

“Inquisitive?” You offer. Nathan’s brows tip impossibly higher, his chin angling down to gaze at you over the tops of his glasses. 

“One,” He finally confirms. “How’s 1:30 for you?” 

“For what?” 

“For dinner.” 

“I—I don’t think I’ve ever eaten dinner that late in my life. I don’t even go out that late anymore.” 

“But you’ll make an exception?” 

“Do I have to?” 

When he smiles, you know that you will have to. 

“I’ll send you the details.” 

That’s it. He breezes away from your desk space. He doesn’t offer to walk you to your car; he doesn’t ask you any questions about what you want to eat, or what you like to eat. He just walks away. You look after him for a moment before you look down, taking up your laptop chord and wrapping it with a mutter of, 

“Dinner at 1:30 in the morning? Not in fucking college anymore…What’s even gonna be open that late for fucking dinner?” 

You think, and then giggle. 

Maybe Nathan Bateman is going to take you to McDonald’s. 

--  

“You ever been here before?” 

“Uhh…” You peer down at the menu. It’s timeworn, and splattered with what look like gravy stains. At least—well, you hope it’s gravy. “Nope, can’t say I have.” 

The diner has a vintage bent to it. The seats are all coated in robin’s egg blue vinyl; the floor is tiled like a checkerboard; the walls are pepto-pink. There’s a jukebox in the corner, but the oldies being played in the diner are coming from a few recessed speakers in the ceiling. You glance up again as you hear Bateman shifting in his seat. He’s lounging back in his seat like he owns the damn place. 

…Maybe he does own the damn place. 

It could explain why they’re open so late, at least. There are a few other people in the diner, a ways away. Now and again, an explosive swell of cackling laughter will pass over your way before one of their party hurries to hush them. You glance back curiously as you hear one of them add, 

“Dude, you’re gonna get us kicked out again.” 

“So how long have you known Jenn?” Bateman asks. 

“Oh, gosh,” You turn back to him. “Since Kindergarten. She’s my oldest friend.” 

“You two seemed pretty close during the tour yesterday.” 

“Did we?” 

“Insomuch as you were her shadow.” 

You close your mouth, reaching for your water. You had shadowed because Jenn had asked—but you’re in no position to quibble with this man. You’ve no need, either; he goes on: 

“How was your double?” 

“It was fine.” 

“What are you working on?” 

“I work at a company that produces technical books and longform guides for—” 

“I know where you work, that wasn’t my question. What are you working on.” 

The bored, irritated tone in his voice raises your hackles, and it leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. But you swallow your annoyance in favor of giving a straightforward answer: “Right now, a quantum software engineering roadmap.” 

“Are you enjoying it?” 

“The writing can be a little dry, but the subject matter is interesting.” 

“Hm…” Bateman nods, his eyes sweeping your face curiously. You fight the urge to shift or fidget under the scrutiny of his gaze. 

Can you ask questions? Are you allowed? Why does this man make you feel like you’re in a damn interview? Your gazes break as a waitress comes over, a pad in hand and an expectant smile on her face. You instinctively offer her one in return as you order. You don’t really hear what Bateman orders; you’re too busy wracking your mind for things that came up on yesterday’s tour—pain points, questions that Jenn promised she’d get back to him on. 

“So,” Bateman’s voice snaps your focus back to him, and you arch your brows as you meet his eyes again. “In your opinion, what’s the company lacking?” 

It’s a slap of a question. Your brows manage to inch higher. Oh…God. No wonder he didn’t want to do this with Jenn around.

“Uh…” Is your initial succinct answer. You clear your throat, taking your glass up for another sip, gathering yourself. You could say that Jenn has everything she needs, save for capital. You could say that the team is rowing as one one, your little unsinkable ship, the Sc(ai)le. 

But Nathan Bateman is a genius, and a billionaire, and a man with a low tolerance for bullshit. 

“She needs a complete C-Suite,” You admit firmly as you set your glass aside. “She needs a solid, knowledgeable team behind her. We’re doing the best that we can now, and the Chief positions that she has filled are pushing the company in the right direction, but the ones that she doesn’t are slowing down growth. We need a CMO and a CKO and a CIO, like...Yesterday. We have a lot of data, and we have a lot of marketing materials—and the seniors VPs in those positions are doing the best they can, but you can only fill a leaky bucket so many times before the handle breaks. The company doesn’t have the capital to bring those positions on, and until it does, the company’s going to continue to grow at half-speed because the plane’s being flown while it's still being built."

Bateman doesn’t react for a moment. His silence makes your stomach twist with nerves; your palms are sweating. 

“I didn’t think you’d say that,” He finally says. You can’t help but laugh a little. 

“Look—I could tell you that we’re all one happy family, and that the only thing wrong is the fact that bluebirds don’t land on our shoulders and code for us—” Your stomach flips as Bateman’s lips twitch with a smile, “But you’ve already been inside. You’ve looked through our books, you’ve seen the facility. And if you’re going to go in on investment, you’re going to see the dirty laundry anyway. I may as well show you where the hamper is.” 

“You like your metaphors.” 

“It’s the writer in me.” 

Bateman’s brow quirks a touch as he nods. 

“...Why aren’t you full time?” He asks. That question throws you for a loop. You shake your head a little—like it’ll knock an answer loose. But the answer—the truth—is that you and Jenn haven’t worked well together in the past. Sure, you’re part-time now, but you hardly ever interfere with her day-to-day unless it’s to coax her out of her office to get some air or a meal. You prefer to take your time with a project, and Sc(ai)le is in a growth period where time is of the essence. 

“...It’s not…” You start, brow furrowing as you grapple for a reasonable answer, “What Sc(ai)le does, it isn’t what I do.” 

“The company has technical writers.” 

“...Yeah—” 

“It needs someone that knows how to compile the information, translate it for the average consumer—” 

“But—” 

“Just tell me they can’t afford you.”  

Your chest twinges with indignation. 

“That’s not true,” You insist. 

“So they can afford you.” 

“That’s not what I—” 

“Which one is it?” 

“You’re twisting my words, and I don’t appreciate that.” It leaves you more harshly than it should, and you damn your tone immediately. There’s no way scolding this man is gonna bring him on board. You realize that your shoulders have scrunched defensively and risen toward your ears, and you force yourself to relax them. But Nathan’s lips just twitch again, his eyes bright with amusement. 

“...Why aren’t you full-time?” He repeats. 

“I told you. This isn’t what I do.” 

“It could be.” 

You don’t want to make the concession, but the look on Bateman’s face tells you that he’s got you pinned. So you give a small, begrudging nod. 

“Hypothetically.” 

His smile widens at your confirmation. You want to smack him. 

But that really won’t bring him on board. 

--  

You expect Jenn to grill you for your time with Nathan the second you get in, but she’s grabbing your hand and hissing, “He’s here, and he’s waiting.” 

“What?” You ask dazedly, pulling your sleeve back to eye the watch face where it rests on the inside of your wrist. “He’s not supposed to be here for another two hours! I didn’t see an email—”

“He didn’t send one! He just showed up!”

You pull Jenn to a stop in the hall, slowing her with a gentle, “Whoa, whoa—Okay. Look at me.” 

Jenn stops, eyes wide, head shaking minutely as she tries to continue walking toward the conference room, insisting, “We’re already late—” 

“Slow down!” You urge. She looks stricken, and you immediately feel guilty. You take her hand in yours, giving it a squeeze before drawing in a deep breath. Jenn hesitantly does the same, pushing it out when you do. You draw in another, and are relieved as she copies you, some of the tension melting from her face as she closes her eyes. You watch her pull in and push out one more deep breath before she opens her eyes slowly, nodding. 

“Thank you,” She breathes, patting your hand before she tugs down the hall again. 

--  

“I like what I’m seeing.” 

Bateman’s assertion shouldn’t surprise you, but it does. Sc(ai)le is a good company, something that would make sense in his portfolio. But he’s so steady and calm as he peers out of the office of Jenn’s window. 

You don’t like how he’s commandeered the space behind her desk. She shouldn’t be sitting on the other side of it with you; she should be behind it, with him—or he should be on your side. 

Still, Nathan pushes himself off of the window, turning to face Jenn. His gaze flickers to you before he looks down at something laid out on the desk. 

“Your initial proposal was…Whadda we got here…” Bateman tuts as he turns a page. You think he must be dragging it out for suspense—there’s no way he doesn’t have those numbers memorized. Sure, it must be chump change to him, but it’s still a big fucking number. “One million for a fifteen percent stake in the company.” 

“That’s right,” Jenn nods. 

“I’ll give you four.” 

“...Four?” Jenn repeats dazedly. 

“Four million for what percent?” You ask before she can leap up, kiss the man on the lips, and accept. 

“Fifteen,” Bateman affirms. Your eyes narrow at him. This doesn’t feel right. He adds, “I have one condition, though.” 

“Name it,” Jenn nods. You glance at her nervously. You’re certain that if he told her to strip naked and run through the office covered in spray cheese, she’d do it right this second. 

“You come on as CKO, CIO, and CMO.”

Your brow furrows as Jenn turns to you. Who comes on? Jenn? She’s already CEO for fuckssake—

And then Jenn turns to you, eyes wide and insistent as she nods toward Bateman. Your head snaps to him, stunned. He’s waiting with that same patient, bored expression that he'd given you with all throughout dinner. 

“You want me to take on three C-Suite positions?” You ask, brows raising. “Are you that strapped for cash that you won’t spring for two more people?” 

Jenn hisses your name in warning. You know it’s the wrong thing to say, but to your surprise, Bateman just smiles and leans against Jenn’s desk. 

“Hear me out,” He waves your irritation off. “I want to roll the positions of CKO and CIO into one. Chief Knowledge and Information officer.” 

“And add Chief Marketing officer on top of them.” 

“That’s right. You’re much quicker on the uptake than you were the other night. No, it’s alright—I’m sure the double shift and the late dinner had you off your game.” 

You want to argue, but Nathan is already turning his attention to Jenn. 

“Four mill for a fifteen percent stake,” He reiterates before nodding toward you. “And her.” 

What would Jenn get if you didn’t come on? One million at fifteen? Two million at thirty? Nothing at all? You can’t bring yourself to look at Jenn just now—you know you’re getting a pleading expression. So you keep your eyes on Bateman, and his expectant expression. He knows he’s got you backed into a corner. 

“...Does this condition have a term limit?” You ask. Bateman purses his lips, seeming to think for a moment. Then he levels you with an ungodly answer:

“Three years.” 

You feel like you’ve been punched in the gut. You only just manage not to double over with it. Three years. Three years inhabiting two positions that you never wanted or asked for. Three years working with your oldest friend on her passion project, knowing that you will lock horns on approach. Three years of Nathan Bateman hanging over your head. 

You can’t face Jenn. One look at those hopeful, doe-like eyes and you’re going to fold like a house of cards. You can’t look at Bateman. One look at him and you’re going to lunge in, slap him silly, and ask what the fuck is wrong with him. 

You look down at your lap. 

Three years. Three years or what? Nathan pulls his backing? Asks for repayment? That could level the company, and everything that Jenn has worked for would disappear overnight. 

Three years. 

You don’t ask about the pay. You don’t care about that. You’re not doing badly as it is. Two C-Suite positions (well, three) would surely pay you more than you make now, but still. 

Three years. 

You’ve been considering leaving your current job. You’ve been chugging along happily, though you’ve started to get too settled, too bored. Too complacent. But you've been ducking away from management positions at job after job because you just don't want to be in charge of people. You want to be fully in the action, working on the words, not floating above them and giving them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. This isn’t like anything you’d consider throwing yourself into. 

Three years. 

This is bigger than you and Jenn. Pumping more money into this company would give Sc(ai)le the chance to expand its staff, upgrade it's tech, bring on a more comprehensive QA team.

You draw in a deep breath, giving a small hesitant nod. 

“Alright,” Leaves your mouth before you can talk yourself out of it. 

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Bateman bats back without missing a beat. You can hear a note of triumph there, one that makes you want to reach into his throat and rip out his layrnx. Jenn is springing out of her seat, pumping Bateman’s hand enthusiastically and telling him that he won’t regret it. You’re staring down at your hands, your head and chest feeling hollow, like you’ve just been jailed for three consecutive life sentences. 

Three years. 

Bateman’s hand enters your field of vision, outstretched and patient. You eye it for a moment. 

You could still tell him to go fuck himself. But you glance up at Jenn, and find her beaming down at you. Her eyes are bright with joyful tears; her hands are clasped to keep from visibly shaking. 

You can’t tell him to go fuck himself, and he knows it.

So you suck in a deep breath and raise your hand, shaking Bateman’s without meeting his gaze. 

“We should grab a drink to celebrate,” He insists. You let go of his hand and push yourself up shakily. 

“I—Have some things I need to sort out. You two go on,” You add, slapping on an encouraging smile and turning to Jenn. 

“Sure,” Bateman concedes. “You have a letter of resignation to write.” 

You pat Jenn’s shoulder on the way out, hardly meeting Bateman's eye as you go. You get into your car, and drive back to your apartment. You mechanically unlock your door, drop your keys in the bowl by the entryway, kick your door shut. You don’t bother to turn the lights on. The sun is streaming in through your front window with a vengeance. You walk over to your bar cart and take up a bottle of whiskey. You don’t bother with a glass. You just plop into your favorite armchair and curl up. You don’t cry. You don’t scream. You just stare blankly at the wall. 

Three years. 

Next Part: Year One

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[theunvanquishedzims]

@batneko​ wrote a sugar daddy AU so I had to write one back.

-----------------------

Bowser's longtime flame has officially tied the knot, she's shooting off fireworks to celebrate, she's leaving the country on a world tour honeymoon, she's taken out an actual literal billboard on the road between their cities to showcase the wedding photos

So Bowser's like hey, I'm not stupid, I can see you're over it, you don't have to rub it in my face, but he can't even say that because she's blocked him on everything

And he was GOING to hire a skywriter to spell it out over the wedding, but the skywriting company said there was a conflict with the fireworks company and they couldn't get clearance, and Bowser is halfway through checking his own plane to see if he can rig something up when he realizes hey, this is kinda pathetic

They are both extremely over-the-top people and it's hard not to escalate when you're both filthy rich.

--------

So Peach and Mario are off on a year-long world tour honeymoon, and Mario privately offered to let Luigi tag along, so he's feeling pretty pathetic himself.

And Mario SAYS they'll still run the business together, but Luigi has seen Peach's schedule as...governor? President? Monarch? And it's pretty packed, and Mario already has his own dedicated bodyguard from her retinue, and Luigi is picking up a lot more clearly than his brother how things are gonna change

For the better! Mario's gonna love the parties and meeting people and playing sports with actual athletes and driving sports cars on closed professional tracks against real racers, and he can fix a sink but he's got the brains to fix a city's infrastructure too. He's gonna do great.

And Luigi...Luigi will be fine. Really! One-man plumbing business. He can do this. Except other businesses are already poaching their customers on the premise that Mario is retired and the Mario Brothers will be shutting down, and the only way Luigi can counter that is by cashing in on his brother's fame to get people's attention. Which, no thanks.

So he's just come out of the tropical storm of wedding prep and parties exhausted and ready to take a break, but he needs to scramble as the business dissolves under his feet, and their house is paid off and bills should be fine but it's such a gut punch to see how easily his life crumbles without his brother, and Luigi is TIRED. Luigi wants a BREAK. Luigi wants someone rich and fun and good-looking to swoop in and take HIM on a vacation.

"Maybe I should get a rich husband to take care of me," he mumbles into the newspaper draped over his face, covered in ads for rival businesses and Peach's honeymoon tour.

And you know...that's an idea. That's a real idea. He's already been on blind dates, there's always somebody who has a gay nephew or cousin or coworker who would LOVE a tall strong man like Luigi, they're sure~! So what if he picks out his own guy? And if they don't click, he can just shrug it off as them not being rich enough for him. That's believable, there's enough photos of him at the palace and Mushroom-Wimbledon and Mushroom-Kentucky Derby to say he's developed a taste for the good life.

In all honesty, he HAS developed a taste for the good life. Not high teas and little cucumber sandwiches, but being able to drop everything and go to an island, or play a round of golf, or picnic in the countryside, or play Indiana Jones in desert ruins while Peach is off hobnobbing with local rulers. He had fun. And it would be even more fun if he wasn't tagging along after his brother, if it was someone doing those things for HIM, because they liked him and wanted to impress him and--and spoil him, he makes himself acknowledge. He wants to be spoiled. He wants to be...a sugar baby.

------------------------

Cue montage! Luigi is a good looking fella, but he's also visually Green Mario, and the idea is to NOT leech off his brother's rep. The mustache goes. The overalls have already been retired. No more baseball cap keeping his thick wavy hair out of his face, no more sturdy waterproof work boots. He regrets getting rid of the mustache, and starts growing a five-o-clock shadow. Maybe he'll grow a beard, those are trendy.

------------------------

That's the picture that pops up in Bowser's inbox as he sorts through correspondence.

 He's pulling back and being really honest with himself about what he actually wants. And honestly? Peach isn't it. Not anymore. It was a painful revelation, but a necessary one. She's not the same hyper-giggly cheerleader type he met in university, and he's not the party boy rugby jock he was back then either. He doesn't need a hot blonde girl on his arm to impress his teammates and stop any ugly rumors in their tracks. He doesn't need to beat anybody up for saying he's gay. And honestly, it was freaking exhausting trying to keep up with Peach's schedule when he was a young adult with just classes and games to worry about, now that's he's mumble-something years old and has his own country to run, he couldn't imagine trying to do half of the things she has packed into her schedule.

So...good for her. She got that guy who loves being social and making a bajillion new friends without being rude to them and can probably stay in the background and let her shine without it chafing, either. Good for her. He is genuinely happy for her.

He has a hard time conveying that to the cowering housekeepers as he finishes smashing the last of her portraits into bits, but he doesn't pay them to understand him, just obey him, so he tells them to sweep it up and stomps back to his office.

He needs more people like that in his life, he thinks, if he's being honest. He needs someone who won't argue him in circles or make him feel stupid debating political policy or hint that his family are tyrants. His family gets stuff DONE, okay, no need to go through six layers of wishy-washy old toads and delicately manage public image in the process. Say it and it is so, and the people will see that their needs are met and be grateful. That's the Bowser way.

 Romantically, what does he need? He makes a little list.

1. Hot.

2. No arguing.

3. No criticizing or trying to change him.

4. No pink or girly.

5. Just...hot okay? A hot dude. There, he said it. A hot dude he can take on dates who won't try to fix him, who won't think there's anything WRONG with him that needs fixing, somebody who can just be hot and pretty and hang around making him look good without getting in his way or trying to take over.

Ugh. He needs a Mario, that's what he needs, somebody to quietly stand around and smile at him and feed him cake. But way hotter. Way, WAY hotter.

 He quits glaring at Peach's wedding ads long enough to type out a basic list of demands and send it to a matchmaking service. (It's a sugar baby service, but he'll be damned if he calls it that.) He's not doing ANY work for this relationship. He's rich, he's powerful, he's reasonably attractive, he thinks? Got a bit of a gut since college but he's still got muscle. Whatever, he's got a castle and a fleet of cool cars and enough money to spoil the hell out of TEN thirsty twinks, whoever he picks can keep their mouth shut about his beer belly. No, he's going full Lizzo, he's not considering anyone unless they LOVE his body. He's rich enough to afford that.

He's all set to send that pic to his potential matches, but then Luigi's pic pops into his inbox, and he panics and switches. He's not trying to scare matches off, that would be self-sabotaging. And he's a fun guy, not some bum who gets drunk and passes out on a deck chair, that was ONE TIME and he was recovering from sunburn, you didn't need to snap a picture of it, guys. Whatever. Fun in the sun dad bod pic, that should be enough to reel in a boyfriend.

---------------------------------

So. Bowser is a smart man, and the ruler of a kingdom. He does have bodyguards, and he designs most of his own security systems. The service will weed out the scammers, but he's investigating his matches himself, and Luigi is...not unknown to him. He's probably wildly unrecognizable to most people post-makeover, but Bowser was stalking Peach's wedding and has dossiers on everyone in the wedding party. He KNOWS what his ex-rival's brother looks like without a hat.

The only question is WHY. Is this a game? A joke? A sick trap? Why is he doing this?

"Why are you doing this?" is the first message he sends through the service.

And boy oh boy is that the question of the hour, Luigi thinks, staring at it. He has no idea who's he writing to, the...DADDIES are wealthy and important enough to warrant a bit of identity protection. He'll get a picture in advance of any meetings, but for now he's flying blind.

He's not gonna dump his whole life's story on a stranger, and he doesn't need to justify his decisions to anybody. He's not hurting for company, or money, so why is he doing this?

"I want to take a break and have fun with someone who can afford to take me nice places and do cool things" is what he decides on. It's true.

---------------------------------

The rest is just them going nice places and doing cool things together. No drama, no schemes, no misunderstandings or second-guessing about why they’re there. Bowser pays for everything, and gives Luigi some spending money besides. Luigi works hard to relax and be sexy and flirty and fun. It helps that Bowser is so comfy to cuddle with, and actually taller than him, which is impressive.

He is vaguely aware that he is dating Peach's ex, he figures that out around the third date or so, but the guy is remarkably chill compared to how she described him, (and in this world Peach's security detail handled any incidents, there was no kidnapping (recently,) and the Mario brothers weren't heroes who needed to curb-stomp anyone, so Luigi has never met Bowser directly.)

Bowser is keenly aware that he is dating Peach's brother-in-law, but he works hard to relax, not obsess over anything, and just be cool and fun to hang out with. It helps that Luigi is super hot, a little goofy when he relaxes, and enjoys draping himself over Bowser while they lounge on the beach, or on a train ride through the mountains, or a tour of wine country. Lots of hot guy draped all over him while people stare enviously.

It's definitely envy, nothing to do with how Bowser just chugged half a bottle of merlot. He needed to wash the taste of that horrible rosé out of his mouth, okay? Who bottled that, a skunk? Horrible bouquet. Horrible. Luigi, buzzed and giggly and tucked up against Bowser's side staring at him adoringly, thinks Bowser is the funniest, wittiest guy in the world. They should definitely get out of there. The proprietors sell them a case of the merlot and gently suggest that the gentlemen switch to cheese tasting now, so they do.

Bowser's driver takes them on a long ride up the coast, and they have dinner at a beach chateau at sunset and listen to the cresting waves as the stars come out, and Luigi thinks this is exactly what he needed.

And Bowser just spent a long weekend out of his workshop and not buried in paperwork, and he's got some nice wine and stories to charm some diplomat who's visiting next week, and hey maybe Luigi can handle the charming and let Bowser do the diplomacy, or maybe he'll just sit at the dinner table eating fancy food and looking pretty while Bowser takes care of everything.

Man, it's good to be the king. Especially when you've got a doll like this by your side, cheering you on, waiting to see what you’ll do next. He needed this, this ego stroking and taking care of someone, showing off for them. Not running after a pink velvet track suit who's got a million clubs and committees and parties to coordinate. And wow, he hasn't thought about her in a while. A few days, at least. And he doesn't want to think of her now, under the stars, with a fuzzy face nuzzling his neck and strong hands slowly petting down his chest hair and over his belly. He's good. He’s good.

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

It’s so hard to successfully plan things w my best friend, I don’t hold it against her she has two kids (3 & 6) but it can selfishly get frustrating just bc she’s my oldest closest friend of 20+ years, more like a sister rlly, and I miss her but she only lives ten minutes away lol SO I ordered some beads for a swiftie night for us and her daughters. If I have it all planned & prepped all she has to do is pick a date & say yes right?? Maybe jam/dance, prep snacks, bake something, and then sit down and watch one of the tour films & make bracelets (maybe start w ts/fearless & then one every few months, maybe rep tv will be out by the time we get there🤞🏻) ANYWAY I received the beads today & planned to wait to open them but I could not resist. I only made one though!😁😅

Can’t wait to make more and see what her & her kids come up with!☺️

[hellwasthejourney]

Taylor should bring back the rep verified fan style prep and then use ticketstoday for the smaller group of fans and then like a general sale or something for the next tour

[wrongcaitlyn]

heyy! i LOVED this chapter

will, my poor baby, i actually just want to hug him and never let go (also the conversation with apollo was SO well written)

on another completely different topic, haunted house by mckenna grace is a very hauted era coded

just one thing more, is reyna going to apper again, cause she's perfect and nees her again in this fic

and i cant belive that by the time the next chapter is out TTPD is also going to be out, please if you dont mind give your toughts on the album, i would LOVE to know them

byee!

ahsdhf thank you so much!! i'm SO glad that convo was giving me so much stress ngl😭 i wanted to make sure it was conveying what i wanted it to, so i'm glad that you liked it!!

I HEARD LIKE AGES AGO BACK WHEN I STILL HAD TT THAT SHE HAD A SONG CALLED HAUNTED HOUSE and i was like omg i should listen to that?? but then i just never did???

atm im listening to taylor's whole discography in prep for ttpd, and just taylor's discography (i started this morning with debut, and just started rep like two minutes ago, so hopefully i timed it correctly to be on midnights tmrw just before ttpd comes out though i might have to put midnights on loop for a bit) but i WILL listen to it i swear. i have a list of songs on my phone that i need to listen to for talk ur talk😭😭 i love mckenna grace tho even if i haven't listened to her music before so i'm excited!!

and GOD I KEEP THINKING THAT TOO. like, back when i added her i was like oh omg im so excited to have her here as a character!! but then i realized that making her an actress made it extremely hard for her to be around a lot in *nico's* storyline. i lowkey regret it and wish i could go back to add her to the current plotline, and make her like nico's manager or something.

but i can't go back and change that, so! i know of a few different plotlines that i'll eventually include her in, though they're not for a while, so unfortunately we've gotta wait for a bit to bring her back :// i will see though if i can have her appear in a scene at some point! she hasn't seen the doomsday tour yet, so...

and LITERALLYSDFLKJA I CANT WAIT EITHER?? I STILLC AN'T BELIEVE THAT IT'S LITERALLY COMING OUT TMRW FOR ME. im pst so it's 9 pm for me, and i usually listen to it once, then listen to it again while looking at lyrics and text messages bc the first time i turn off all my devices and just listen - so i will DEFINITELY be updating y'all here, and also in the ao3 end notes, probably with any thoughts relating ttpd lyrics to talk ur talk nico bc that's all my brain can do pretty muchSLKDF

it honestly makes me so happy that you guys are interested in my thoughts on these things bc i'm always thinking to myself "ahsdlfj you need to stop rambling for so long on things taylor swift related in the end notes, not everyone's a swiftie" so this always reassures me!!! i love rambling and i always have soo many thoughts on these things so i will definitely be sharing them!!! thank you for the ask <3

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

I actually think she’s working on the reputation re-recording right now. It seems like the other ones are already pretty much done and she would not have been able to get to rep last fall with all of the tour prep. And I agree it just feels wrong to redo that one but it needs to happen so… but maybe no vault tracks even though I would love that so very much.

If she eventually gets the masters to the originals that would be awesome! I’m sure she would love that so much.

Personal suspicions are TS11 but ... who is to say.

I will say that I think every TV is going to get a Vault because it is a way of giving fans who have already loved/listened to that album a lil something extra and it's a marketing opp. But I also understand why people do not want a rep Vault due to the 'there will be no further explanation' of it all.

[homewithmycats]

prepping the bracelets with my friend while watching rep tour

[prqltothesql]

Day 5 of My 12-Day Magical Mystery Tour

Day 1 - Odessa rehearsal Day 2 - Snarky Puppy concert Day 3 - MAPS Finals + NJPW Capital Collision show in DC Day 4 - GMU rehearsal Day 5 - GMU rehearsal Day 6 - GMU rehearsal + Chantilly sendoff Day 7 - drive to Dayton Day 8 - WGI Prelims Day 9 - WGI Semis Day 10 - WGI Finals Day 11 - drive home from Dayton Day 12 - Odessa rehearsal

Yesterday rehearsal was smooth. We had a bit of an issue Sunday at the end of the night, so the first part of the day was addressing that, and then we had a chill morning block. And then we had a quick afternoon block that was a lot of logistics and chilling. And then in the evening, we did a badass ensemble block. Cleaned a ton of the show, got a lot of high quality reps in.

Alex was there and we hung out. Alex in previous years was more of a coordinator and stuff. I think the plan this year was to get me around him, David, etc. to have me learn how to run a program. But they've been so busy and I've been on my own a lot. Having him there yesterday, he was super kind, talked to me about stuff. Monty sometimes kind of goes crazy cause there's 947 things to think about all the time. But Alex just taking an extra few seconds to kind of lay his expectations for me, that got me super engaged in rehearsal.

Maybe I shouldn't need that. But like, being brand new at this, it's nice having guidance. We have a short day of rehearsal, a preview show and then I drive home tonight to do laundry and prep for 4 more days gone. I really miss my sister and my cat. And my bed. And my house.

[shoutyourporpoise]

I posted 17,901 times in 2022

101 posts created (1%)

17,800 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@canidcomrade

@girlgerard

@yourbestamericangirlmp3

@bigbadbutch

@closet-keys

I tagged 5,296 of my posts in 2022

#mcr - 3,468 posts

#flashing - 256 posts

#disco elysium - 91 posts

#my show - 64 posts

#homestuck - 55 posts

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#thursday - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#yeah there are people who are treating this as ‘g comes out as trans woman’ when they’ve explicitly said they’re uncomfortable with labels

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I’m not even kidding this reunion tour has galvanized me. I’m doing art again I put in the hard fucking work of finding a therapist covered by my EAP and insurance who’s accepting new patients I am DROWNING in dysphoria rn but I am moving fucking forward clutching MCR like a buoy

4 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

#4

What if I start IDing as bisexual but in the way that an older genderfluid person might.

4 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#3

I remember suddenly when I was volunteering at this prep school with some kids and one of them could not figure out my gender so he called me “Mister Lady” which was definitely not intended to be a compliment but nonetheless made me feel FANTASTIC bc he wouldn’t call me anything else.

5 notes - Posted June 5, 2022

#2

I know June isn’t even around the corner yet but blargh I am already seeing the comments that are like “I’m bi and afraid that if I go to pride with my boyfriend people will tell me I don’t belong there” and lemme just say like. They will not. First, bc there will be straight couples at the pride parade. Second, bc there will be other bi or multisexual people there repping their flags and excited to see you. And third, because pride at this point is an advertising opportunity for like Bank of America or Barefoot Wine and your money spends just the same regardless.

9 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I love being nonbinary and I love being bisexual those were both decisions and evidence of my excellent taste

15 notes - Posted January 17, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[initiala]

It’s “overthinking the new Taylor Swift album” hours so feel free to keep scrolling if that’s not your thing

It’s kinda par for the course to have a lot of vulnerability on her albums, but this cranks it up to eleven. However, what kind of surprised me was how many past situations and people were brought up in it? Like, this felt more all-encompassing of the last twenty years than just “here’s what’s been up since Midnights”

I’m wondering if some songs have been in draft form for a while and a lot of these are “from the vault” tracks that weren’t released with some of the TV rereleases, or wouldn’t fit with the last two coming up. “thanK you aIMee” in particular seems like it might have been written more between Reputation and Lover, but maybe wouldn’t have fit as a Rep TV vault track. “The Manuscript” heavily leans on stuff we know or can assume about the relationship with Jake, and it definitely doesn’t feel like it would have been a good Red TV vault track.

A couple of songs are leaning back into her country roots, in particular “I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)”, which makes sense if she’s prepping her debut re-record and drifts in and out of that mindset.

So with how “The Manuscript” particularly ends with, and how Taylor herself has talked about this album, how this book is closed and it’s done and doesn’t belong to her anymore, it really feels like the bow on top of the Eras tour being like “this part of my life is over and I’m ready to move on to the next stage”.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, just that 31 tracks is a lot. It’s the moody Baskin Robbin’s of albums. And a lot of these I just have a feeling are pieces that might have been frogged together from drafts of what didn’t make it out of the vault so we still get as much of the picture that she wanted us to have when she finishes the re-records and steps into what TS12 and beyond brings, leaving the first 10 albums securely where they belong.

[thrownswiftly]

I hope we get little videos of tour prep like we did for the rep tour.

And videos of the dancers and the starlights and the band.

[sheerioswifties]

And also-

Okay so I'm having to jump offline again now and I'm not sure when I'll be back. Again please feel free to keep sending me updates on everything going on here! Also I'm totally going to do a write-up/review of the makeup in Miss Americana (y'all I'm BEYOND excited to see this gzgzzggzgdhdhdASYHSHSGZZG) and going forward, again once I've got Internet back, I want to do more writing posts. So first of all be warned that there may drop some random myterious short story pieces I've had drafted for a while, along with several additions to my "Chronic Illness Chronicles" and some important comments on some scary local and world events going on that need some signal boosting, etc. Plus I do want to do a weekly makeup discourse and then begin some.... drumroll please... Quest for Lover Fest™ series to prep for the Lover shows!!! (Definitely open to any and all suggestions for better names for the series. If you're wanting to get an idea what it would be about, check out my Rep Tour Prep™ series tag) all of this of course is admittedly very ambitious of me in my current state between my flaring, degrading health and everything (and PAIN especially) making it difficult for me to function at let alone actually write/ blog, so we will have to see what I'm able to do but these are my goals for this here blog right now and so I'm taking the temperature here to see what you all want/would like to see, so let me know! Send in makeup asks from the Miss Americana doc (or anything!), requests, feedback, suggestions etc. Thanks so much, I love you all, talk again soon! 💕

[intowordsbytaylor-blog]

‘And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for’ // 1 DAY till Reputation Stadium Tour ✨

[burningallthewitcheslightmeup]

Ode to reputation this morning while sipping my coffee wrapped in a blanket that happens to be ts7 aesthetic. I will never forget how special reputation is and 20tayteen.

[rachlou86]

I made my sign for rep tour today. So excited!!!!!

[femiswifters]

FINALLY REP GILLETTE NIGHT 3 IS HERE!! So I’m doing some major Rep Prep! How are you guys prepping for tonight?! @gillettestadium @taylorswift @taylornation