#replies with kage

[car0line-hill]

who? Which people?

almost everyone.

[integrityvictim]

« "C'mon, Kage! It's hard ta keep walkin' when yer lookin' at everything! »

﹝The shadow had perked their head up hearing Starlo's voice call out to them, and they soon followed. Luckily the trees were thick enough to provide a trail of darkness for Kage to move through. Normally they'd be tailing behind Starlo via his shadow, but he was carrying a few things and so they wanted to be careful.﹞ ﹝That, and because they were constantly curious at the littlest things in Snowdin. The snow, the birds, the trees, the people... They've seen all of it before, but they never interacted with such things. Like a child drawn to a starry sky, they just HAD to touch and look at everything. ﹞ ﹝Starlo turned back, chuckling and watching Kage quietly examine what looked like a mother bird leaving its nest to feed its chirping children. They looked so entranced in such a little thing, almost a bit too entranced.... The cowboy cleared his throat, Kage turning towards him and nodded. ﹞ « "Smallleee.... Birrdbbdb....s?" » Kage pointed at the next, causing Starlo to chuckle and walk over to get a better look. « "They're baby birds, Kage. I think they might be Chickadees? They could also be Flickers..." » Kage turned back to the baby birds, watching them chirp and cry out for the mother bird to return with their food. They feel... abandoned. « "We can go an' look at the baby birds when we're done with Dalvs', alright Kage?" » Their attention snapped back to Starlo, and they nodded with an unsure expression. The cowboy smiled and readjusted their grip on what looked like a small picnic basket. ﹝After a bit more walking, the both of them finally made it to where Dalv's house was. Starlo approached the door and gave a gentle knock, while Kage curled their body up in Starlo's shadow to wrap around him. ﹞ - 🌟 (@passingthroughthenorthstar)

╔.៚. .═══════════════╗ 〈 • .. It was quiet. -But before you can reach the door to knock again, you heard a thud from inside, followed by the sounds of what sounds like stumbling before the door very slowly comically creeks open. 〉 ❝ ..Ah, good morning you two! ❞ 〈 • ......It was the middle of the afternoon??? Dalv rubbed his eyes as he stepped back to let the pair inside. Was he SERIOUSLY sleeping at THIS hour? 〉 ❝ ..I wasn't exactly sure what specific literature Kage would be interested in, so I collected a wide variety of genres. Horror, Kids books (though I know NOW it isn't), Poems.. -The usual sort.❞

〈 • Closing the door behind them, you can definitely tell he's been cleaning. But then again either he did all this before he took a nap, or his definition of mess is just a spec of dirt on the floor. You'll probably never figure out the answer. 〉

❝ Do you two need anything before we start? Food, Coffee, Tea? I have this new Crab Apple tea I picked up from Waterfall, actually..❞

╚═════════════════. .៚.╝

[glissandolight]

They shouldn't be nervous about this, they wanted to feel the opposite now. That's what they were supposed to feel ever since they were taught how to speak properly, so... why must confrontation be so... scary? stressful?

Yeah. Stressful. That's the word.

Nonetheless, they want to share their progress on how far they've come. Why not have the first monster they've ever met be the one to see that?

Emerging from their shadow with whatever confidence, Kage stared at Dalv and blinked... before-

"...Hello... Dalv..."

– 🌟 (@passingthroughthenorthstar)

〈 • Dalv seemed to be invested in a book he was reading, his ear twitched when he heard the sound of Kage manifested off to his side, not seeing any of the visual stress that they had. 〉 ❝ Good morning to you, Kage. Moray has made breakfast for you.❞ 〈 • This book was a different genre than he normally reads, but it got his attention. It was about this blonde human who has to leave her family and friends behind to follow her boyfriend to law sch- WAIT A MINUTE. Closing his book, he slowly turns to Kage with a bewildered expression. 〉 ❝ Could you- uhm.. repeat that? ❞

[colourless-hydrangeas]

Blue moot (I'm gonna reply on discord soon I swear)

I'm sorry, but what were we talking about? I barely remember anything. Life has been rough lately and I'm also very forgetful, sorry.

[refrxctedprism]

“Let’s go party and forget everything, aight~??!!” There’s a grin on his face as he tugs Kage’s arm, trying to drag him out of the school.

“You know the best ways to pick me up, Denks, long as you’ve got the stuff, I’m up for it~” He smirks, sticking his tongue out at his best friend. He definitely needed this to be able to calm down.

[miidnighters]

"Is that how your tastes run, hmm? Irritatingly lavish?" Morgan's grinning, teasing, even as he wanders in behind Kage - still looking around as he goes.

The comment about blood makes his nose wrinkle, and the question "Why would you?" is shot back before he can even really think about it. For him, that's why. To be a good host. "I mean," Morgan continues, trying to play it cool. "You didn't know I'd be here. There was no reason to think that you'd need some."

Oh no - how far will Kage go to make him comfortable? How far will Morgan have to go to keep up the charade?

Instead of worrying about that for right now, Morgan folds himself onto the couch - scooting a smidge closer to Kage when the other joins him. "That is correct, but I'm no interior designer, gorgeous. You're probably better off hiring someone who like, studied for that sort of thing. But I know people who know people - I can get you some recommendations?" Morgan tilts his head, smile growing.

"Lucky for you I like you too." A lot faster than anyone else, and the first since Nora. But that was also a crisis for another day.

"Perhaps one day I'll get it professionally cleaned and decorated....if you saw where I spend most of my time...you might find it a little....irritatingly lavish. Though that's more to the liking of those that came before."

He remembers Morgan's reaction to his age and he wonders if he'll find it amusing that he's actually considered very young by most Infernal that he's encountered, oftentimes likened to a child in comparison to the ones who had been alive much longer.

"I don't have any blood on hand."

An odd statement Kage says as he approaches his fridge and opens it, peering inside to find it mostly empty save for a few stored water bottles and energy drinks. Yes, he really needs to do something about this. Kage takes one of the water bottles, thankful it's at least chilled before handing it over.

"You seem to have some eye for artistry....I can pay you for the efforts of...."sprucing this place up" Is that correct phrasing?"

He's gesturing towards the couch for Morgan to sit down first so he can situate himself next to him when he does, one arm draped around the edge.

"Attractive and polite in giving advice. I like you."

[flufftato]

The Perfect Match

Haikyuu! ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Ushijima Wakatoshi ❥➳·₊˚

ꕀ

〃fluff, Time-skipped! 〃pairing: Ushijima Wakatoshi x fem!reader 〃wc: 849

a/n: craving for some ben & jerry's now but pls don't eat ice creams during cramps. it'll only get worse ;-;

update: okay i just realised the roster was off?? i did read the ts before, but i completely blanked on who ended up on which team 😭 i only remembered Kage and Ushi is on the same team and Bo and Hinata is on another. no wonder i feel weird when Sakusa came up on the list. update is coming soon!

Ushijima is a man of privacy.

Ever since he joined the Schweiden Adlers, he has only engaged in activities or conversations related to volleyball. His personal life remains a mystery — even to his coach.

Not once has he joined a celebratory drink after a game, so his teammates have stopped asking him for a while now. They are used to how boring Ushijima is and how he is only interested in volleyball.

They even half-joked that if Ushijima ever got married, it would probably be to a volleyball. Komori had already planned what kind of wedding gift to bring for him and the lucky volleyball.

So imagine how surprised they were (besides Sakusa) when they found out that Ushijima is married.

Not dating. Married. To an actual person.

There had been no hints. No ring nor texting on his phone. Ushijima was always one hundred percent focused during every pratice, every match.

His teammates found out of his marriage only because Ushijima admitted himself in one of their interviews.

The interviewer gestured towards the crowd with a teasing smile, “You’ve got quite the fanbase today, Ushijima-san. Did you notice all the girls cheering for you?”

Ushijima didn’t even glance at the group. He just blurted out a “I’m married” with his ever calm tone as if he was just sharing what he had for breakfast that morning.

The court fell into a complete silence.

His teammates’ heads snapped to him so fast, the interviewer might have worried they'd sprain their necks if she wasn’t too busy gaping at the composed wing spiker who had just casually dropped the bomb.

From that day on, his teammates — or more specifically, Komori — made it his life mission to uncover the identity of the mysterious spouse.

He would peek over Ushijima’s shoulder after practice, trying to catch a glimpse of his phone when he was checking the time. He was dying to see what the poor lucky lady looks like.

But unfortunately for him, Ushijima’s home and lock screens are both images of a volleyball. One close-up. One mid-air.

Komori almost cried.

But just when he was about to give up, Ushijima picked up your call one day during practice, thinking it was an emergency call because you would usually just text him.

“Hey, is everything alright?” Ushijima’s voice is steady and low as usual, but there was a notable warmth in it.

From the other end of the line came your voice — loud, distressed and very much audible to everyone nearby.

“TOSHI. THIS IS CODE RED, I REPEAT, CODE RED!”

He blinked and pulled the phone back slightly, “What is a code red?”

“I just started my period and someone — and I mean YOU — ate the last tub of ice cream last night and left the EMPTY CONTAINER in the freezer!”

Kageyama turned slowly towards Ushijima with a volleyball in his hands, while Komori abandoned stretching session all together and was now openly eavesdropping from the side.

Ushijima replied clamly, “I thought we were sharing it.”

“We WERE until you annihilated it. Do you know what’s left? Frozen peas. I’m sitting here with a heating pad, craving ice cream, and all I have is peas. I’m in actual pain, emotionally and physically. I was lied to by a container and betrayed by the love of my life.”

“I’ll stop by the store after practice.”

“I want Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie.”

“Got it.”

“Say it back to me.”

“……Chocolate chip cookie dough and chocolate fudge brownie.”

“Ben & Jerry’s.”

“Ben & Jerry’s.”

“I feel slightly better already. Stay safe at practice and come home soon with my ice creams, love you!” you hung up the phone.

Komori stared with his jaw dropped while Ushijima, who was probably already planning in his head which route would get him to the grocery store fastest, put away his phone, “Is she always like that?”

Ushijima adjusted his kneepads. “Only when she’s upset. Or excited,” he paused. “Or awake.”

An uncharacteristically invested Kageyama turned to Komori, “That’s a yes.”

Sakusa, who had been stretching nearby, didn’t even look up. “You married your emotional foil. I respect that.”

Komori was still buffering, “So that’s your type? Loud, dramatic, and emotionally attached to dairy?”

“She’s expressive,” Ushijima said simply. “And straightforward.”

“Yeah, with volume,” Komori sighed. “But I guess…that makes you both the perfect match? Since you’re so quiet, stone-faced and emotionally constipated.”

Ushijima blinked slowly.

“I mean that lovingly,” Komori added quickly.

“I don’t mind her being loud,” with the faintest curve tugging at the corner of his lips, Ushijima hold Komori’s gaze, and for a split second, Komori could have sworn Ushijima’s eyes softened, “She fills the space.”

There was a beat before Komori chuckled, “You’re whipped, aren’t you?”

Instead of replying, Ushijima simply walked off to refill his water bottle. Not that Komori expected a reply.

He didn’t need one.

Because everyone in the court who had witnessed the call, and the unmistakable tenderness in Ushijima’s eyes already knew you had him wrapped right around your finger.

© flufftato • please do not repost, edit, claim, translate without permission •

[cinnablu3]

RECKLESS - Love between...

MASTERLIST

Reckless chapter update is changing every other day because I haven't been doing daily updates like promise </3 sorry yall

"You want me to leave?" Choso said after taking another bite of his waffle.

"No but unless you're busy. If you do stay you might meet my manager, a crazy fan girl." You joked. Choso raised a brow at your sentence.

"Your label let her be your manager?" He asked in concern.

He didn't get the joke, letting out an awkward laugh. "Choso I'm joking." He looks at you a bit flustered after not catching on. "Though she is a big fan of yours." Picking at your fruit with your fork before putting it up to his mouth as he leans in and takes a bite.

"You know how to cook Cho." Taking in his lazy appearance, his hair down not in his usual pigtails and in your head you can't decide if he looks better with his hair down or when it's up.

He sallows his fruit, "I'm glad you do, I can always cook for you whenever you want."

"I'll keep that in mind" You replied, pushing your hair behind your ear.

He looks at you before he gives you a serious look. "So about last night, our kiss what did you think about it?"

You turn, giving him your full attention "About the kiss.. I'm glad we did, and that you stayed with me all night."

He reaches for your hand as he brings it to his lips kissing your knuckles. "Of course, if it's fine with you I want to see where we can go from here."

Your smile drops slightly. "I should confess to you about something." You sigh knowing you have to be truthful, "I'm not exactly over my ex, a little part of me misses him, it also doesn't help that my friends are his friends."

"I figured and I don't blame you. For being that long of a relationship and the unexpected comes up, you're not ready and I'm not asking for a relationship from you now." He squeezes your hand. "What I'm saying is just let me distract you in the meantime Name, if you don't want to date later down the line, that's fine I can take the rejection."

"That's not fair, I couldn't possibly do that to you." You frown, "You're helping me in ways you don't know Cho."

He cups your face, leaning into his touch. "I hope I can continue helping you Name." He leans in closer but before he can get near your lips, a loud knock interrupts the moment. The door slams open revealing your manager, a loud gasp leaving her lips.

"Did I just interrupt something!?"

Taglist is now closed and full 💞 @miiiturix @superdonkeypatroleggs @inthedarkshadows000 @kumori-suwan @chilichopsticks @prized-jules 1ndee @lov3vivian @yuuuumii @chiiinglebells @sakurayashiro @ghostlyfanenemy @cisseadven @totallygyomeiswife bemebiu @chckn-pi @for-hearthand-home @sh0ot1ngst4r @muthic @lukaerith-morningstar meowforluv @uniquenicefangirl @4rmins @corvid007 @beautifulwitchcandy @iluv-ace @tartartagliaboo @genxnarumi lafrone @coffee-addicted-demigod @cupidsblonde depressedemosantaclaus @drownedbytears @s777athv @linaaeatsfamilies @lun4rchive @moonlitwitchdaisy @kooksbunnnn @shoma-nom @reagan707 @kaged-kitty b0nez9 btsinthesoop @shokosbunny @sleepykittyenergy @sad-darksoul @ghostswhoretbh @raquel12 @missthatgirl @explosivelywuisa @bunviixo @rifran @therealanxiety @harryzcherry

[integrityvictim]

Something seems to moving curiously from Dalv's shadow, a pair of white eyes appear on his shadow and blink at him a couple times.

It then speaks to him in his own voice.

"Helloollolloo..."

- 🌟 (@passingthroughthenorthstar)

✦ ·  ·  · · ──────────── ·  ·  ·  · ✦

[glissandolight]

"Maaddeee youu... drawignn..."

Dalv has received a crayon drawing of him from Kage! They even spoke a bit more fluent.

– 🌟 (@passingthroughthenorthstar)

[snsism]

something kabuto said caught my attention when i was reading kabuto vs. the uchiha brothers' fight, and it was this panel right here.

"you can read other people's feelings"

this really struck me, especially after looking back at itachi and naruto's talk in chapter 366.

itachi asked naruto, why does he care so much about sasuke when he literally abandoned him. (in other translations, he asked naruto why was he so obsessed with sasuke). naruto got mad, basically saying that for him, sasuke was like his brother and told itachi he was a better brother than he ever were.

in the next panel, itachi has a speech bubble with dots, indicating he wanted to say something but chose not to. then, he smiled as if he knew something. interestingly, kishi only drew his mouth, not his eyes.

in chapter 403, naruto thought about his conversation with itachi which made me a bit more suspicious.

itachi asked naruto, what would he do if sasuke refused to come back to the village in which naruto replies that he'll do whatever it takes to bring him back.

"you just said sasuke is like a brother to you. im asking what you'd do if your 'brother' attacked konoha."

the first thing that caught my eye was the punctuation " " between the brother and the second thing i've noticed is that it almost sounded like itachi was mocking naruto and the emphasize on " " between the word, brother, only added to the fuel.

what we know so far is that itachi could read people's emotions with his eyes. he smiled and mocked naruto for calling sasuke his brother.

in these panels, to me it looks like itachi was playing a little with naruto's feelings, trying to get a reaction out of him by asking if he would be able to stop sasuke, even if it meant killing him.

just look at naruto's face, itachi definitely touched a nerve there. but what made me pause and think was itachi's next sentence.

"can you choose between sasuke and konoha?"

he read naruto's feelings for sasuke, smiled, mocked him, and then asked if he would be able to kill him and / or if he would be able to choose between sasuke and the village they both protected. this clearly indicates that for naruto sasuke was someone so precious that it made itachi doubt and ask that question.

the real question is:

could naruto really choose between sasuke and konoha?

yes, he could, and he admitted it himself in kage summit arc. naruto searched for the raikage and pleaded him to stop sasuke's execution.

mind you, a few chapters back, he told people, for example, nagato, that killing anyone for revenge was wrong and promised them that he'll change the world of hatred. yet here he was threatening the raikage that if he doesn't spare sasuke's life, there will be war between konoha and kumo.

it clearly shows here that he was speaking more for himself instead of the whole village, who also became wary about sasuke. he was willing to sacrifice konoha for sasuke.

naruto started pleading the raikage on his knees, begging him to spare sasuke's life, but at the same time threatening him and his village, trying to justify sasuke's actions and his desire for revenge and started crying in front of everyone.

the raikage mentioned how oddly naruto acted and basically called him out by saying that it is not normal for a shinobi to beg for a criminal's life.

in the end, naruto himself answers itachi's question.

he would choose sasuke over konoha in a heartbeat.

in that chapter, itachi also told naruto how he was still acting like a child and how he needed to realize that he would be forced to make impossible decisions like this. naruto confessed that there was someone else (jiraiya), who told him the same thing, but naruto has made his choice and he won't go back on his word because that's his ninja way. itachi smiled knowingly / warmly at naruto's response. he knew naruto would do anything in his power to save sasuke, and he knew how deeply he cared for him.

also, the right person that could paint sasuke's blank canvas in every color the person wanted was definitely naruto. naruto, who never gave up on sasuke, who sacrificed himself but also konoha for sasuke, who fought everyone who spoke ill of sasuke, who was willing to die with him, who saved sasuke from the dark, painting sasuke in every color, in a new light.

[mochiajclayne]

Okay we all know that I love Five Kage Summit arc but what's interesting is about what happened NEXT after Naruto and Sasuke talked under that bridge. Naruto went ahead and told his friends that he'd handle Sasuke alone and naturally their reactions were how can you expect us to agree with that, we can't give in to your stubbornness, and it's pretty much an issue for the village and Naruto is like nope I'm not being stubborn and Kiba really called him out like thought you'd give us the details but I did not expect it to be this, we all made up our minds to kill Sasuke then Shikamaru really hit the nail in the coffin like you say that you'll take Sasuke alone when you're actually planning on protecting him. Naruto is like no intentions to protect Sasuke here and Neji is like Sasuke was weak at the time so why didn't you take him out and Sakura defended Naruto by saying that Madara was there then Kiba says you're a hero dude you can take him down like you did with Pain and Naruto sullenly replied that he wouldn't be able to defeat Sasuke the way that he currently is and then Choji is like what is it that you found out then Naruto fucking proceeds NOT TO EXPLAIN FURTHER and persistently says that no one should take Sasuke on and HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN FIGHT HIM as if that explanation would satisfy everyone (it doesn't) and keeps on giving them the runaround as he would tell them when the time comes. Even Sakura who was there when it happened has been mentally deliberating about what's Naruto has been hiding.

Now the interesting part is Naruto could've just explained WHY. Neji would've understood where he's speaking from as he also dealt with darkness, Shikamaru would at least try to see his point in sheer rationality making the others see his perspective but HE DOESN'T. It was a choice. Might be speaking out of the box here but with the way that everyone collectively decided to kill Sasuke behind his back, it was like a slap in the face realization for Naruto that no one really understands Sasuke like he does. And no amount of explanation would convince them otherwise--he wasn't exactly protecting Sasuke but he won't let them kill him either because killing him won't save Sasuke from his hatred. Naruto never intended to exist in a world where Sasuke dies and he made that clear in the bridge. People around them would look at their relationship like they're fucking insane but what's amusing about it is they never explained their bond to others--how can you even put into words the connection that transcends even the ninja system that fosters hatred and pain? And how can you expect the same people that unconsciously adheres to the same system to understand that?

[miidnighters]

At his name, Isaac stops and looks at Kage.

Going back to his loft was probably the sensible thing to do, even if what Isaac really wanted to do was go home and wallow a little longer.

"Are you that bad of a host?" Isaac tries to joke, thinking about Kage's declaration that the bed has never been touched by anyone else. His head tilts as Kage presses warm fingers against his throat, feeling for his pulse. "It's fine, I don't think you'd do anything to me." And it's equal parts concerning and reassuring that Kage had felt the need to specify that upfront.

Something else to unpack in the morning with a clear head.

"I'll come with you, since you're offerin'. If I'm not imposin'." Which, given Kage had invited him in the first place, was unlikely. "'Sides. I like the smell of peppermint."

He's not really clocked what Kages said about his method of transportation yet - Isaac's still thinking about Uber, pulling out his phone and opening the app.

"Isaac."

Kage starts and stops, licking his teeth and looking away. His tone...he doesn't like it. He doesn't want to leave him like this either. Being alone with his solemn thoughts before he passes out seems like a recipe for waking up sober, angry and probably sick.

"I have a loft in the city. It's closer than your home. Let me take you there. I have a guest bedroom with a full size bed. Never been touched by anyone else. It's quiet there, I promise.

He places a hand over his pulse point and feels that it's elevated due to the drink. His own touch will feel a little on the warm side, maybe better felt given it's cold outside.

"I promise I won't do anything but prompt you to take some over the counter medication to help the morning after effect and get to sleep. Plus my skill of moving us there is much faster than an automobile If you absolutely hate it, as someone once did because it smells like peppermint on the whole, I'll take you home. But right now I'm....concerned for you."

[cinnablu3]

RECKLESS - JUST TO STOP THE FEELINGS

Masterlist

Happy holidays! Please stay safe and take care of yourselves! It's Currently midnight I have work in the morning and night shift this Christmas 😞 wish me luck!

"Hime don't be so upset." You hiccup clinging to Utahime arms. Wiping your tears, trying processing what just happened. One moment you're standing waiting for Choso to grab some drinks and the next your ex boyfriend is begging you back and suddenly his lips are on yours.

"Shoko knew, he was coming but didn't say anything..is she genuinely stupid?" Utahime said in anger, pulling Name closer.

"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble." Looking up at Utahime sighs, giving you a small smile.

"It's not your fault y'know Name, she could've brought it up and we could've went to the club instead." Utahime rubs her temple. "I just wanted to know what her thought process was."

"Knowing her, she misses the old times." Replying feeling more relaxed in Utahime arms. "I'm worried for Choso, they locked him up too." You frowned.

"He's fine, knowing his good looks they'll let him out." Utahime jokes stifling a laugh from you. "He definitely cares about you, so don't let his imprisonment go to waste."

"I won't."

"Good, it's getting late. Let's go to bed."

"Sharing a bed together Hime? How lewd!"

"Yeah let's hold hands while we're at it."

They both laughed enjoying each other's presence.

Taglist is now closed and full 💞 @miiiturix @superdonkeypatroleggs @inthedarkshadows000 @kumori-suwan @chilichopsticks @prized-jules 1ndee @lov3vivian @yuuuumii @chiiinglebells @sakurayashiro @ghostlyfanenemy @cisseadven @totallygyomeiswife bemebiu @chckn-pi @for-hearthand-home @sh0ot1ngst4r @muthic @lukaerith-morningstar meowforluv @uniquenicefangirl @4rmins @corvid007 @beautifulwitchcandy @iluv-ace @tartartagliaboo @genxnarumi lafrone @coffee-addicted-demigod @cupidsblonde depressedemosantaclaus @drownedbytears @s777athv @linaaeatsfamilies @lun4rchive @moonlitwitchdaisy @kooksbunnnn @shoma-nom @reagan707 @kaged-kitty b0nez9 btsinthesoop @shokosbunny @sleepykittyenergy @sad-darksoul @ghostswhoretbh @raquel12 @missthatgirl @explosivelywuisa @bunviixo @rifran @therealanxiety @harryzcherry

[simpshaaaa]

Cale is either a person who is addicted to their phone or a person who is hardly ever on their phone lmao

If he's addicted to his phone, he'll have his phone brightness up to max and stay up late either playing candy crush or reading webnovel like an otaku he is jdnsjdhkabs

He might need to wear glasses in his later life as a consequence

If he's not addicted to his phone, he'll have his phone on dnd mode 24/7, brightness low, phone facing down, doesn't check his phone for hours, sometimes even DAYS

Made it worse by living alone, far from his family house

At some point the gang broke in his house after Cale hadn't replied to their messages and frantic calls for over few MONTHS

Cale: Ah, sorry. I was busy reading this new book I bought. Also I've been staring at my wall, I think I should get a new paint.

He's also the type to dry message and not reply at all. He's also very direct when messaging

Bud: Hey

Cale: ?

Bud: U free?

Cale: ?

Bud: ???

Cale: be fucking direct

Cale: stop wasting my time

Bud: Damn

Bud: I was going to ask, do you wanna grab a drink at our bar 😢

Bud: Taylor and Kage would be there too

Cale: no

Bud: Ok👍

Doesn't seem the type to use emoji because it surprisingly takes a lot of effort and time

And Cale is a busyman (that's a lie)

[thelonelysoulhome]

It always makes me sad when people say that yashiro is 'sexy' (no offense to anyone of course, it can be said on a lighter note 😊).

Yashiro is indeed beautiful and his appearance stand out, but it's the way Yashiro portray himself that make him stand out even more, the way he seems like a man with any principles that don't give a damn about how he is treated is what makes most of the people in his life 'attracted' to him, they all want to 'do' him a 'public toilet' that everyone shares... No one gives a damn about him, no one sees 'cause no one cares. For Yashiro over sexualizing himself and sex itself is a self defense mechanism, that he uses to survive in a really vile world, he proceeds this way because it's seems safe to him. Sexualizing everything all the time is also a way for him to hide. Yashiro has a deep complex personality that he hides most of the time.. He is deeply wounded, having been exposed to the worst that man is capable of at a young age, he become an adult that understood the vice and the disgust of the world in spite of himself, and he tried as best as he could to protect himself from it.

He is all alone, and pretty deppressed, he breathes but he never felt like he was alive, he is not trying not to drown, no one thaught him how to swim, so he had to survive under the water, and it's been so long that it feels normal now, he's drowning but he persuade himself that he likes the feeling.

A life of silent suffering, seeking for a bit of release in defense mechanisms which at first glance, are there to protect, but which in reality damage and wear out the soul and the body.

Deep down Yashiro hates sex, it's an act he don't gives any significance, any importance to, it dosen't matter where, with who, it just need to be as impersonal and brutal as possible just to inflict the pain he needs to regulate, an escape that always leads back to the same cage.

Yashiro never been seen, he don't even know himself that well, he don't know who he is, not the hypersexual teenager who always faked a smile, nor the "lustfull maso cat", nor the yakuza's 'public toilet'... But who is he ?

Who is he ?

Who is this little boy ?

He don't know...he don't wanna know, he don't wanna see.. It's unbearable, it's too hard, it's someone he hid in the deepest part of himself, someone..something he can't show to anyone. One of Yashiro's biggest fear is being seen for what he truly is, that why he is so afraid of intimacy, real one, he has no problem with nudity but he struggles a lot to get 'naked', being vulnerable, showing emotions, showing a side of him he don't even acknowledge himself. He succeeded so far to hold himself together in all his self protective lies but after meeting Doumeki he struggles to maintain all of those walls, from the begining he start to behave in ways that betray those defenses, his heart taking over his brain, potentially exposing him to danger, exposing him to inevetably face the truth.

Yashiro always been different with Doumeki because Doumeki always treated him differently, from the start, Doumeki made his proper impression of Yashiro, without getting influenced by his reputation, or even what Yashiro let reflect

In this scene (chapter 3) Doumeki affirm that Yashiro's back is "kirei" (beautyful\pure) and Yashiro replies by saying that it's not that 'Kirei' and that he should take a good look, (a body that hold marks from years and years of abuse), it's like he's saying "undernith the mask it's ugly.. If you take a good look at me..I'm ugly, so don't come closer".

All the little moments they shared together, where Yashiro could let go a bit (unintentionally), when he carelessly laid on Doumeki's lap, the tiger sweat-shirt, when all Doumeki wanted was to touch Y's hair, when they had small talks, when they took breakfast together, when they talked about Kage and Yashiro's step father... When he just:

This kiss is a moment when Yashiro is himself 100% nobodies watching, no one with whom he have to pretend, no one, a pure, truthful moment without any fences, it's just him and his overflowing feelings, coming out in the most vulnerable and affectionate gesture. All of this is intimacy all of this is way more intimate then all the sex Yashiro had in his whole life.

When Yashiro realize that he also just wanted to touch Doumeki with gentelness and care and that he the real Yashiro underneath all the walls, also want to be treated this way, like there is hope that he can matter someway, to someone..that he deserve..to be loved ? That mean everything he lived and pretended to accept until now is.. It's when the realisation is near, when he feels it inside of him, the storm that want out, that he freaks out, but it's already to late

And like this the realization that he never been fine is finally sinking in, he never been fine with the r*pe, he never been fine with the pain that his little body had to endure, he never been fine with the abuse, he never been fine with all the suffering, all the sorrow he had to bear,and hide all alone, never.

But at this moment (after chapter 25) acknowledging everything and accepting Doumeki's love is way more harmful than keeping on getting hurt.

So he keeps on hiding, 'cause at least in secret, you can control the narrative, you get to fall on your own terms, you get to hurt without worrying about being a burden, but let me tell you, you're not protecting anyone by staying this way my dear, you're only wounding yourself even more.

But how much more can he hold on like this, the more you're getting older, the more it become wobbly inside

Yashiro want to be seen truly by Doumeki so badly, he want to be seen, to be held, but that terriefies him, 'cause what if he see his mess ? What if he don't know what to do with this pain ? Pain that is already unbeareble for Yashiro, what if he walk away the moment he unmask completly ?

Yashiro needs reassurance he needs 'proofs' that he can give in with Doumeki, but Doumeki is really cautious 'cause he's afraid that Yashiro will run away if he unveil, 'cause tragically even if Yashiro's heart wants to love and to be loved by Doumeki so eagerly, it's yet to know if his brain is ready or not to break free and finally face all his scars and maybe someday, hopefully, heal little by little, his inner child. Doumeki is indeed a piece of the puzzle but he won't resolve everything, healing is a tumultuous and exausting path that demand a lot of will power, but the help of a person you trust and love and that cares for you and your well being can be a big help and play a huge part in the process to get better.