reveriememory

[streettealee]

Madman’s Blues

https://archiveofourown.org/works/34986475/chapters/87132925

Madman’s Blues is the first book of a genderbent retelling of The Last Hours. And I want you to read it.

You’ve got body diversity among the now male cast (tell me you’re also tired of the cookie-cutter ab-ridden teens and up that permeate TSC and all the scrawny guys because heaven forbid a male-presenting love interest be as physically rounded as dearly beloved female characters), which also includes a short king and his scary (and tall) gf. We have plot that doesn’t hinge solely on miscommunication. Also: healthier lesbians. What more do I need to say. There are hot scenes, sad scenes, beautiful scenes, disturbing scenes, and pretty hilarious ones. 

The genderbent series is also complete, from Chain of Gold events all the way up to the end of Chain of Thorns. 

I’m sure a lot of you have already seen or read some of this (as you should), but I want to try and get others who haven’t to read too. This fic and this author, @thevagabondexpress, are what brought me into fandom again. Sure, TLH and TSC in general was the main thing, but I don’t think I would have had the confidence to continue to be here right now without the existence of this fanfic series. That means a lot of my own fics wouldn’t exist. 

So, read Madman’s Blues. Read on from there. And show the author some love. It doesn’t matter that it’s already complete - an author will always appreciate knowing they did something that matters to readers. 

[thevagabondexpress]

some closing thoughts on delusions (and terrible fictions) (my genderbent tlh rewrite)

Whoo. This has been a long ride. A very long ride indeed.

When I started writing this back in June of 2021 (a couple years ago now), I hadn't realized I was genderfluid yet, neither had I realized that the only consistency in my experience of gender would be a never-ending byronic crisis about it. I brood about my gender like James Herondale broods about being damned and I am proud enough of this to make no apologies.

But I was very much aware that I was in the middle of an existential gender crisis and that meant I had gender thoughts very much in the forefront of my mind when I read Chain of Gold and Chain of Iron for the first time. So of course, it stuck out to me that the 'fake marriage' plot was really gender-specific and would not have worked (certainly not the same way as it was set up in canon) if Cordelia had been, say, Claude.

So, of course, I saw a challenge. I had to figure out how to make these books work if the characters' genders were swapped around. Then I stumbled across a) Cassandra Jean's genderbent Mortal Instruments art, and b) someone else writing fanfic about it, and that was the catalyst I needed. And because it's been my favorite series, I chose to start with TLH.

I gave up on Great Expectations. I knew the books are a pseudo-retelling of it and I didn't have the time and energy to read the story, besides which I knew it would come out very differently. So d&tf's inspirations are instead a hash of We Have Always Lived In The Castle, Hans Christian Anderson's The Snow Queen, and a Radiohead song, among others.

I chose not to wait for Chain of Thorns. I said, to heck with it, I've been watching these genderbent characters disperse in very different directions from their canon counterparts and while some of that (the existence of Fields, Felice's survival) was my deliberate fault, a lot of it was simply me listening to the story and taking it where it felt like it should naturally go. So, before we even had an official ChoT summary, I threw my hands up and decided to just write my own take on a final installment. Looking at what became of Chain of Thorns, thank goodness I did. There's so much about ChoT that would not have worked with the characters I had and the directions I was pushing them in.

This is not, by far, my best writing. It's messy, it's sloppy, there are things I could've done a lot better and different decisions I could've made and I could've done better worldbuilding and used the historical realism of a genderbent rewrite concept to push it even further away from the original TLH. I may go back and edit/rewrite someday, but not now. For now, let's just sit here and consider that I actually saw this through.

I may do more TSC Genderbent Editions if people want them. TID also has a very gender-specific plot that could be fun to wrangle, and while TMI doesn't in the same way, I've come to realize this series is also serving a fantasy for women who like shorter men so I may have to do it for that reason alone.

So I dunno, let me know if you want more of these rewrites (or additional/ongoing content for Judith + Claude, Michelle + Fields, Jackie + Lou, Alice + Tracey, Christa + the deep blue sea, etc.) because you bet I will listen.

[m-emonade]

I love Dear Evan Hansen (Soundtrack) and Cyberpunk so let's do Requiem where Johnny is Connor, Zoe is Rogue, Connor's dad is Kerry and the mum is Alt - okay ty for coming to my Ted talk <3

[gaycrouton]

Who ended up in the hospital more: Mulder or Scully?

The following calculations come from the hard work of @xfilesobsession​, my idol 

Note: this is solely a list of their on-screen hospital appearances where they were admitted as patients (in gowns), not all the times they were injured and/or briefly taken care of.

Beyond the Sea (1x13) 

Patient: Fox Mulder 

Reason: He was shot during a rescue mission. 

Current Total Mulder: 1 Scully: 0

Darkness Falls (1x20) 

Patient: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully 

Reason: They took a nice trip to the forest and were almost devoured by insects. 

*semantically speaking, this is a quarantine facility 

Current Total Mulder: 2 Scully: 1

One Breath (2x08)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She was ding dong ditched at the hospital by the people who had abducted her for months. The hospital was apparently so shocked, they forgot to give her a blanket :/

Current Total Mulder: 2 Scully: 2

Colony (2x16) and End Game (2x17)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He was exposed to the Alien Bounty Hunter’s blood.

*counts as one since Colony begins in medias res with events from End Game.

Current Total Mulder: 3 Scully: 2

Død Kalm (2x19)

Patient: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully

Reason: They were on a ship where “contaminated water caused rapid oxidative damage and dramatically increased sodium chloride in the body,” (Scully, 1995).

Current Total Mulder: 4 Scully: 3

Apocrypha (3x16)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Mulder’s car is run off the road.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 3

Wetwired (3x23)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully becomes victim to the control of a device that incites paranoid delusions.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 4

Memento Mori (4x14)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She’s diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 5

Redux II (5x02)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Her terminal cancer flares up, but she is cured. Hopefully alien implants are part of her health insurance plan.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 6

The Red and The Black (5x13)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She sustained burns and smoke inhalation.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 7

Folie à Deux (5x19)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Mulder began seeing things others couldn’t (according to Scully, he was succumbing to folie à deux — shared psychosis), and Skinner had him committed.

Current Total Mulder: 6 Scully: 7

Fight the Future (1998)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He is shot by the people who abduct Scully.

Current Total Mulder: 7 Scully: 7

Triangle (6x03)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: While searching for the Queen Anne, he wrecked his ship.

Current Total Mulder: 8 Scully: 7

Tithonus (6x10)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully was accidentally shot by a fellow agent during a case.

Current Total Mulder: 8 Scully: 8

Biogenesis (6x22) and The Sixth Extinction (7x01)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He’s hospitalized for being in critical condition due to his abnormal brain activity.

*counts as one since he was never relocated/discharged in between episodes.

Current Total Mulder: 9 Scully: 8

The Sixth Extinction (7x01) and The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati (7x02)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Abnormal Brain Activity (cont.)

*counts as a new one since he was relocated by Skinner and remains there in between these two episodes

Current Total Mulder: 10 Scully: 8

Signs and Wonders (7x09)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Attacked by snakes

Current Total Mulder: 11 Scully: 8

Brand X (7x18)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Beetle eggs began hatching in his lungs.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 8

Requiem (7x22)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully faints at the office after realizing Mulder was in danger. It is later revealed she’s pregnant.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 9

Without (8x02)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She’s in a physical altercation with the Alien Bounty Hunter which leaves her with several injuries.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 10

Via Negativa (8x07)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She checked herself into the hospital after feeling acute abdominal pain.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 11

DeadAlive (8x14) and Three Words (8x15)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: “Brought back from the dead.”

*counts as one since it is the same hospital stay between episodes

Current Total Mulder: 13 Scully: 11

Empedocles (8x17)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She had some abdominal pain that turned out to be a partial abruption.

Current Total Mulder: 13 Scully: 12

Babylon (10x05)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He woke up in the hospital after apparently embarrassing himself while under the influence of placebos he believed were magic mushrooms.

Current Total Mulder: 14 Scully: 12

My Struggle III (11x01)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason(s): She suffered from a seizure in the office; then another while driving and she crashed.

*this counts as two because she left the hospital and was brought back a second time.

Current Total Mulder: 14 Scully: 14

So how many times did we see Mulder and Scully admitted to the hospital?

Overall Total 🏥 Mulder: 14 Scully: 14

It’s a tie! 🥳

I stated earlier that this is not every time they were injured and not every time they went to the hospital. Instead, it is every time we saw them while they were admitted to the hospital as a patient.

As with everything, this can be calculated in different ways.

There were instances where we saw them go to the hospital for something temporary (Blood, Gesthemane) and there are episodes where they definitely went to hospital, but we didn’t see them (Zero Sum, Never Again).

This also doesn’t take into account variables like length of hospital stay or injury v. illness. It’s impossible to know the full circumstances in some cases and overall to estimate who spent the most *time* in the hospital.

All to say, this was just for fun and I acknowledge it is not comprehensive based on different criteria (so don’t come for me), but I do believe it is every time we see them on screen admitted in hospital gowns.

[kaelio]

DECEPTIVE MOVIE TRAILERS FOR DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES IF THEY WERE A CINEMATIC SERIES:

I love imagining misleading movie trailers, it's just a thing I do. If I had infinite money and time and a time machine and the rights to adapt the Anne Rice vampire novels, these are examples of extremely dishonest trailers for those movies I would enjoy:

Devil's Minion: Have it appear to be some kind of psychological thriller, either about a guy who is perceiving his stalker as a literal monster, or a guy who feels some Presence stalking him and envisions it as a mysterious, beautiful young man. He's not really my favorite but we need Christopher Nolan directing, like really hitting that Memento tone. What's real?? What's not real?? Daniel appears to be using drugs and the audience is like ohhh is this about addiction? And then it totally seems like a dark addiction metaphor, like Oscar bait maybe. Even when Daniel gets a handjob it isn't clear because Requiem for a Dream got a lot of awards.

(*Don't try to smoosh in with Queen of the Damned, you have enough going on here.)

Tale of The Body Thief: A romantic drama that doesn't seem to realize its intensely worrisome undercurrents (a la "Passengers"). We see a woman of the cloth ministering to a homeless man who, following a severe medical crisis that lands him in her care, seems to be having spiritual delusions. She connects with him over their shared faith... and their desire for meaningful intimacy. We get a swell of orchestral music... some sort of scene of them kissing in the rain... another scene from which we can infer they're in bed together, but the camera is centered on a crucifix on her wall. "I will find the power to come back to you..." he says.

Tale of The Body Thief (Part 2): Wham! Actually a lot of the audience doesn't realize that last trailer never gave you a title! Maybe they think it's a gimmick! It takes them a moment to realize this old man (Indiana Jones??) racing around the cruise ship is accompanied by the same actor as the homeless man described above. "GET THAT MAN!" David shouts as Raglan does some sort of parkour that isn't quite extreme enough to cue in the audience that he's supposed to be inhuman. We see Lestat-in-body pushing through people in a rave taking place on the cruise ship dance floor. It seems like a cynical tie-in because everyone is young and hot there (not really the primary demographic for cruises). Camera pans over some sort of jacuzzi tub with a bunch of women in bikinis in it. "Excuse me, ladies!" someone says as they jump over the tub and since he has a ripped shirt and he's hot the girls in the tub go "ooooooh!" And maybe they have cocktails so it's supposed to be funny. But really sell it as an action-comedy and then WHANG! "Tale of the Body Thief" appears in huge text onscreen like "COMING THIS SPRING" and Mojo's little head pops up from the bottom of the screen and barks.

The Vampire Lestat: Oh you just shoot it like The Favorite, like the exact same cinematography, or maybe Chevalier, but it's about a sensitive stage actor in pre-Revolutionary France, trying to focus on his art as the world becomes more fraught around him. It invites you into his sensitive artistic soul.... Is there time for gentleness, for optimism, for art, in an era of nascent conflict? What will social forces have in store for him, or for his troubled companion? And then maybe you do give away the game where at the last second you see the window explode and the big evil Nosferatu-Magnus bursts through the door with his big gummy mouth with the two fangs like "Rrrrraarrhg!!"

Memnoch the Devil: Starts with some overplayed song for 45-50 year old men in the background of a scene of Lestat and David stealing the artifacts from the dead Roger. Inter-cut with bits of Lestat dismembering Roger's body. They get into a car (no rooftops, Anne, it would look silly on screen! We can't!) and smirk at each other—apparent heist film. Lestat turns the knob for the radio and then another song for loser guys starts to play. "Dora's gonna get mad," David says, as if we're taking precious seconds of this trailer to no-homo the whole thing and establish regressive attitudes about women all at once. Lestat probably says something like "Chicks, man." The movie promises no actual content or any reason to be interested in it, as with most heist movies.

Memnoch the Devil: Hey? Is that the same guy? They're using the same guy for... what is this, a remake of It's A Wonderful Life? God this is worse than when Chris Pratt started voicing both Mario and Garfield. Find another actor!

Blood & Gold: We see a clawed hand sticking out of a glacier and suddenly... it moves!! Ice cracks around the hand! A huge, mysterious, looming figure bursts out of the ice, covered in rags and holding a giant battle axe!! Thunder and lightening appear in the background suddenly for no reason, and a song from Iron Maiden kicks in. Implies heavily that it's some sort of dark action film that may or may not be trying to lean on the popularity of Marvel's "Thor" movies. Like that Winnie the Pooh movie where he kills people. "THE OLDEST STORY..." the trailer narrator guy says, "... IS REVENGE"

The Vampire Armand: You start off with all of the boys sitting around, having a good time, talking about their futures, all the places they're planning to go, the things they want—like, highschool yearbook signing energy. And then there's this one kid who seems kind of smug and suddenly he's like, "pft, you guys, you think so small. You're focused about what the master can get you with his power... but I want the power 😏". And then you'd cut to him on his way up a big fancy marble staircase and you'd see him puffing himself up, excited, maybe even telling the narrator about the amazing situation he's in, but how since he's totally the favorite he's going to do what his peers are either too humble or doltish to consider: ask to learn the magic itself. And it's building tension and he's just-just-just about to ask and then you hear "No." Or "You're not ready. The magic isn't for you." Gives you this great set-up, like a Sorcerer's Apprentice thing. You're already in this kid's corner. How come he doesn't get the magic? Why would anyone try to keep someone from self-actualizing?? Not very cool. Anyway this would be almost exactly the same energy as the trailer for that new Disney movie Wish.

[animehouse-moe]

Hello, can I ask from this ask game :

https://www.tumblr.com/threecheersforinking/677824836625694720/anime-ask-game?source=share

For anime/manga : Requiem of the Rose King, Heavenly Delusions, Uramichi Onisan, and Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Thanks 🌻

Sure! Seems pretty interesting so I'll give it a shot!

Favorite Character

Requiem of The Rose King: Joan of Arc

Heavenly Delusion: Juuichi (love his story arc)

Uramichi Oniisan: Iketeru Daga

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Touji Suzuhara

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Favorite Arc/Episode/Scene

Requiem of The Rose King: basically anything Joan, I love their presence with Richard and how they drive so much of their character arc

Heavenly Delusion: Juuichi's character arc. Such an incredible story in the anime

Uramichi Oniisan: 100% Iketeru dying of laughter at Uramichi's phallic jokes. Miyano Mamoru is too good of a voice actor

Neon Genesis Evangelion: specifically manga, Touji's EVA scene. Incredible work that's just heartbreaking across the board.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Character I Think Is Underrated

Well, I'm not super into fandom conversations so it's hard to really say, but I'll give me best guesses

Requiem of The Rose King: King Richard. Despite an early death, his influence on the trajectory of the series as a whole is strongly felt.

Heavenly Delusion: Totori. I think a lot of people are unable to look past her surface and see the struggles that exist as deep-rooted and complex feelings.

Uramichi Oniisan: Furitsuke Capellini. Similar to Totori, I think a lot of people get caught up on initial impressions, stopping them from really enjoying the character as a whole (they're a riot in every scene).

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Touji

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Character I think Is Overrated

Requiem of The Rose King: I honestly don't have an answer, and can't really think of one that might fit it.

Heavenly Delusion: Inazaki Robin. A lot of people see depth in them that's only present due to Kiruko. They're a facade of a character that specifically serves to develop Kiruko (not that it's bad, but that they're simply a tool)

Uramichi Oniisan: Iketeru Daga. I love him, but as a character he pales in comparison due to his simpler nature. Still incredibly fun and lovable though.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Another blank. NGE's characters are just so good that I can't really think of a character that might even be overrated.

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Favorite Ship/Pairing

Requiem of The Rose King: Richard III x Anne Neville. Tried and true, nothing to complain about.

Heavenly Delusion: Mimihime x Shiro. No more to add.

Uramichi Oniisan: Kumatani x Usahara. They've just got it, and I love it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Shinji x Asuka. Slightly more wholesome than Shinji x Rei, steps further into their comparable trauma, and paves the way towards a brighter future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something I love About The Show

Requiem of The Rose King: Izumi Kentarou's art direction. God, the background art for RoRK looked so good (can't wait to see their work again on Delico's Nursery)

Heavenly Delusion: Mori Horitaka's direction. Made Heavenly Delusion into the single best adaptation I've ever watched, elevating Ishiguro's series in a way only an anime could.

Uramichi Oniisan: The humor. In both anime and manga, Gaku Kuze's darker adult life-focused comedy is unlike anything else (also manga designs are very nice).

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Pen Pen. Runner up is Shinji x Asuka dance routine.

[obihiro-division]

Jack’s Thoughts on Edogawa Division

Yuriko Kuromiya

“Ms. Kuromiya is… Interesting, to say the least. I’ve only had the pleasure of speaking with her a handful of times whenever Daiki wandered into the Edogawa area. I have a feeling she has an inkling of what I am up to. Yet for some peculiar reason, she hasn’t done anything about it. I suppose she has her reasons, but I am wondering how far I could push her. I cannot help it; I do enjoy the little mental dance that we’ve been keeping up. After all, much like myself, Ms. Kuromiya is hiding her own secrets. Nothing as serious as mine I believe, but I do enjoy digging into her nerves. It is difficult, to balance my interests with the young master’s security. He is such a handful, that it takes me away from any entertainment I could have…”

Kaoru Shinozaki

“Sigh… Ms. Shinozaki. She is gifted, I can give her that. I just wish she had any other interest and not the same slop the young master loves. It certainly does not help him grow… Well, actually? The first time she had created something for the young master, it actually scared him. A rare thing to see since he is usually a reckless moron. I suppose amid his delusions, he still holds firm that he does not wish to enact extreme violence on another. That sentiment cannot be shared with Ms. Shinozaki… Although, I suspect that she, like the young master is simply lost in the fantasy and forgetting that lasers can do real harm to people.”

Kanra Akemi

“...Akemi. Soon as I saw the young master interacting with this thing, I knew that it was another one of them. The pink hair was a dead giveaway, taking into account the Amemura doubles that are running about. So it was easy to determine Akemi was like them. I had originally thought about reporting Akemi. Only makes sense, with its inhuman abilities and its unnatural abilities, it fit the criteria. However, I have since taken back my decision. After all, no serious harm has been done thus far and in a surprising turn of events, Ms. Kuromiya has been handling it very well. So well, that Akemi is adapting into normal society. I’m sure some of my colleagues might disagree with my actions and consider my refusal to report Akemi as an act of treachery, but how can they expect me to wrangle all these little ones? I’m but a simple butler after all. Nothing more.”

Wicked Requiem

“Wicked Requiem of the Edogawa division… Funny how their district shares the same name as the little detective, Mr. Edogawa. Still, I cannot help but worry that some less-than-savory people are trying to pull something against them. It is painful to think about this lovely found family encountering trouble. I want them to prevail by the end of this. Truly, despite my duties, I wish nothing but the best for them.”

“And if they succeed, it would help me prove that the little ones still have a chance. If not for him, for the others…”

[1997thebracket]

Round 2A

Perfect Blue: Come, stay with me in Mima’s Room. Perfect Blue is a Japanese animated psychological thriller directed by the late Satoshi Kon, released theatrically in 1997. The story revolves around a former pop idol, Mima, who leaves her sugary and girlish pop band CHAM! to transition into a more mature acting career; life soon takes a turn for the surreal as she becomes the target of an obsessive stalker, and begins losing sight of herself in the darkness. As the lines between reality and delusion blur, the plot unravels on itself and weaves through themes of identity, celebrity, and the psychological toll of fame. The critically-acclaimed Perfect Blue is celebrated by its enduring fandom for its mind-bending narrative, striking visuals (one scene, taking place in a submerged bath, was famously rumored to have been purchased for recreation in Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream) and its unsettling exploration of the human psyche, placing it squarely at the apex of gut-twisting anime filmmaking.

First Cell Phone Photo: Imagine a time when you carried a Nikon CoolPix in a protective case to capture your most momentous occasions... now count how many pictures of sandwiches are in your phone's camera roll. On June 11, 1997, Philippe Kahn captured a historic moment using his Motorola StarTAC mobile phone, his laptop and a custom software application he had developed. The photo was of his newborn daughter, Sophie, and it was sent to friends and family to share the joyous moment. This pioneering act marked the birth of "instant visual communication" through mobile phones, laying the foundation for the proliferation of camera phones and the way we share images in the modern digital age. Kahn's invention and the rudimentary "first cell phone photo" it produced hold a significant place in the history of photography and mobile phone technology.

[elizakai]

RADIANCE REPUDIATION

A Dreamtale Poem (word dump?)

from an entity who believes their an angel, fallen. 🌙

to an entity they believe to pose as one. ☀️

(aka written from Nightmares pov towards Dream, somewhat)

⬇️⬇️ UNDER THE CUT ⬇️⬇️

isn’t it funny? How Time changes Or rather, refuses to

Time doesn't change, in actuality Such is only perception on the part of lower beings Mortals The acute minds of smaller entities

Time Continues steadily Time knows only one loyalty Yes, Time is faithful

For you, the same cannot be said.

It's funny.

You spawn of Regret Regret, a curse that can be escaped Or, alas, could have been, had hindsight not hidden her naked body from your youthful eyes

Irony, too, plays with it's food But, of all this you are aware.

Or…are you? Do you regret? Do you grieve?

…of course not What am I thinking Of course not.

…It's funny

Nurturing such questions

It's…funny

Fate has laid her pieces out And you have made your moves Woe to you, it seems, one who is set in their ways

One who is set in stone.

Hardened is your soul, your essence Why is it we were placed wrongly on this scale? Alas, it seems your longing for mercy goes unanswered Alas, we've fallen from what little grace we'd attained

That is the nature of things This world rewards those who reap misfortune

A bittersweet misfortune, it is

It's funny.

What pride have you, to rebel Fate and her peons?

What arrogance do you cling to? That you may set things right?

Though, I suppose… That, we shall share always. Eternity till Entropy Until one or the other crumbles

Remember, chimera, stone is brittle. The blood of a companion is thicker than the waters of birth. Of this I am relieved… For you've long since tainted the streams of our youth. No tree can grow in a parasitic wasteland.

That is, none that will last.

No, long gone is the person I once thought to know Long dead, are they, and no requiem shall I hold.

Loathe am I to the sowers of our misfortune

Loathe am I to the mother of our wakefulness. It would have been better to have never existed.

To have never known you To have never held you To have never loved you To have never lost you

But Solace is my lover, for she reminds me that it is not I, nor myself, nor him to blame, but you.

Her and them and you and you and you and-

It's funny.

Scramble up the hill A hill of graves Tombstones upon tombstones, add as many as you will. Will it ever be enough for you? Their downfall will not be your upbringing The ladder is unstable Your goal is unattainable.

Claw, fight, scream

Not an ear will turn to you in pity

Humorous, Karma and the bubbling brooks of her laughter

Where is your control?

When did you pass it to me, pray tell?

…unfortunate fool. Not an ear will turn to you in compassion

Forever out of reach, as long as free will remains mine

Time changes not But every person does, will, must! Oh the pained naivety! Does rock abstain one from growth? Silly me! Silly you!

w h y a r e n ' t y o u l a u g h I n g ?

…I can't hear her laughing anymore.

I can't hear her at all.

The laughter is him. Always him. Us? us.

You were never needed, were you, oh iridescent zephyr?

Acceptance.

A weapon I've obtained A defense you've yet to claim

Illusion of the unconscious mind, feeder of false hope, luminous liar of the night. Dearest delusion of grandeur.

Rest now, in what grief you can muster

Rest now, in the act of sorrow you play

You're 500 years behind.

It’s 500 years too late.

[darkestmiqote]

Share 5 songs that remind me of my WIP/characters:

Foxing - Rory Is Eru's question for his father. After they barely escaped from Ala Mhigo, after losing his mother. After doing anything to please him, after stealing from their own people and covering his criminal acts, craving for affection. After he saw him making a new family that didn't involve him. "I swear I'm a good man, so why don't you love me back?"

Of Monsters and Men - I of the Storm Feeling broken, rotten, unable to connect with people. This is Eru's fear of living the trauma his father put him through again and again, rejected and abandoned after someone got close enough to see how unlovable he is, after his facade of self-assurance desappears. "Are you really going to love me when I'm gone? I fear you won't. I fear you dont."

The Longest Johns - Bones in the Ocean This feels exactly like the Sailor's Requiem, about returning to the sea once life ends, but it adds forgiveness from the departed ones. It took Eru a lot of strength to accept the fact that he doesn't need to be punished for the loss of his loved ones, that he's allowed to carry on and maybe, just maybe, be happy. "Though their eyes speak of depths filled with struggle and strife, their smiles below say I don't owe them my life."

Shinedown - How did you love What Fray tells Eru. Behind all his lies, his delusions and fears, lies something else that needs to be nurtured. Life threw him many low blows and will keep doing it no matter what, so why not try to love instead of get corroded by rancor and self-hatred. He can still be a good person. "No one gets out alive, every day is do or die. The one thing you leave behind Is how did you love, how did you love?"

Linkin Park - What I've done Forgiveness.

Tagged by @persephinae

Tagging: @dawn-forged @lunaria-galanoux @lookbluesoup

[psychicnightmareninja]

The Haunting Impact of Requiem for a Dream on my worldview

Requiem for a Dream is one of those films that stays with you long after the credits roll. Directed by Darren Aronofsky and released in 2000, it’s not just a movie. It’s a visceral experience that cuts deep into the psyche. The film’s unflinching portrayal of addiction, the fragility of dreams, and the descent into despair have profoundly influenced my understanding of human vulnerability and the harsh realities of life.

A Window into the Abyss

From the very beginning, Requiem for a Dream immerses you in a world of aspirations and delusions. The characters Harry, Marion, Tyrone, and Sara each have their own dreams and desires. They seek happiness, success, and a sense of fulfillment, but their means of achieving these goals lead them down a path of destruction. The movie doesn't offer any solace or redemption; instead, it shows the stark consequences of addiction, not just to substances, but to dreams and the relentless pursuit of an idealized future.

This depiction of addiction has made me more aware of the many forms it can take. It’s not just about drugs; it’s about the compulsions and obsessions that can consume anyone. Whether it’s the pursuit of fame, wealth, beauty, or even love, the film illustrates how our dreams, when distorted by obsession, can become our greatest downfall.

The Fragility of Dreams

One of the most poignant aspects of the film is how it shatters the idea that dreams are inherently noble or safe. The characters’ dreams are simple, Sara wants to be on television, Harry and Marion dream of opening a boutique, and Tyrone seeks a better life, but the means they use to achieve these dreams ultimately destroy them.

Requiem for a Dream made me question the notion that all dreams are worth pursuing. It forced me to consider the consequences of chasing after something without regard for the cost. The film doesn’t suggest that dreaming is bad, but it does highlight the danger of allowing dreams to blind us to reality. This has led me to approach my own aspirations with a sense of caution and reflection, ensuring that I am not sacrificing my well-being or the well-being of others in the process.

A World of Isolation

The film’s portrayal of isolation is another aspect that deeply resonated with me. Despite being surrounded by people, each character is profoundly alone in their struggles. Their inability to connect with others, to share their burdens, or to seek help contributes to their downfall. This sense of isolation is something I see echoed in the world today, where despite being more connected than ever, many people feel increasingly lonely and disconnected.

Requiem for a Dream has made me more aware of the importance of human connection. It has reminded me that reaching out to others, building genuine relationships, and being open about our struggles are crucial in preventing the kind of isolation that can lead to despair.

A Reflection on Society

Beyond the personal, the film also offers a scathing critique of society. The portrayal of Sara’s addiction to diet pills and her obsession with appearing on a game show highlights the societal pressures placed on individuals, particularly women, to conform to certain standards of beauty and success. This critique extends to how society often overlooks the underlying causes of addiction, focusing instead on punishment rather than understanding and rehabilitation.

The movie has influenced my view of how society deals with issues like addiction, mental health, and poverty. It has made me more critical of the systems in place that often exacerbate these problems rather than solve them. The film’s grim depiction of these realities has pushed me to think more deeply about the need for empathy, understanding, and systemic change in addressing such issues.

A Cautionary Tale

Requiem for a Dream is not an easy film to watch, nor is it one that leaves you with a sense of hope. But it is precisely because of its brutal honesty that it has had such a lasting impact on me. It serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of obsession, the fragility of dreams, and the isolating nature of modern life. More than just a film, it’s a powerful reflection on the human condition and a stark reminder of the importance of balance, connection, and self-awareness in the pursuit of our dreams.

In the end, Requiem for a Dream has influenced my worldview by instilling a deeper understanding of the complexities of addiction, the importance of maintaining perspective in the pursuit of goals, and the necessity of fostering genuine connections in an increasingly disconnected world.

[the-pen-pot]

Tears (For Sherlock Watson Holmes)/Comfort (For The-Reading-Lemon)

He hadn’t cried, not beyond those first, desperate tears of shock and horror. How could he, when it all felt so wrong? Sherlock wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be. It didn’t matter that he had seen him fall - had seen him lying there, bloody and broken in ways no doctor could fix. It just didn’t make sense.

He didn’t cry when he finally got home, feeling like a ghost of himself, worn thin and painted in shades of white and grey. Baker Street settled around him, just as they had left it. Dirty plates and coffee cups, experiments that would never get finished now…

The silence was wrong. Gone was the comfortable peace that came from Sherlock’s voyages into his mind palace, or the quiet companionship they’d shared. There were no rustling clothes or chiming crockery. It was all too still: a home-cum-tomb, and John wanted to scream just to break the peace.

He couldn’t stay, but he didn’t have the strength to leave, either. He padded about, picking up dirty cups only to put them down again, leaving them like some kind of twisted requiem to the man who had lived here.

The flat felt like he did: purposeless. Sherlock had defined them both – Baker Street and blogger alike. Now, he wasn’t ever coming back, and where did that leave them? How could he –? What was he meant to–?

His thoughts shattered into knife-sharp slices, cutting his composure to ribbons as his next breath left him in a stuttering stream. His throat throbbed, locked tight around sobs that clawed at his chest, desperate for release. Tears bit his eyes at his lip wobbled, only to be restrained by the vicious clamp of his teeth. He wouldn’t cry. He wouldn’t because that meant it was real. That meant – that meant –

John sank gracelessly to the floor, his knees banging against the boards as his vision swam and his chest heaved around great, wretched sobs. Desperate words that carried no hint of his voice fled through his lips: rasped and useless. They were meaningless pleas to a God he didn’t believe in and knew damn well wouldn’t be listening, but what else did he have? How could this be it? How could this world, this life, this reality be his?

Sherlock was gone, and all that John held dear had died with him.

***

'I'm sorry.'

John's breath hissed in between his teeth, acid upon his tongue. He had answered the door to his flat thinking that maybe Greg had dropped by for a beer and a chat, or perhaps Mary had decided not to wait until their next date tomorrow to see him again. Instead, there was the last person he expected to set eyes on ever again; The only person he ever wanted to see, just one more, impossible time.

Sherlock.

'You –' He stopped, his words clumping into jagged stones in his throat as a sick, cold sweat broke out across his skin. His hand was so tight around the door handle that his knuckles were cramping, twisted into claws as his heart punched against his ribs. 'You –'

John closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to clear his vision of whatever delusion had appeared in front of him, but Sherlock remained, staunch and steadfast. He looked as he had before that day, before he jumped from the roof of Bart's and broke himself upon the pavement. That pale face held a hint of life's precious hue, and those eyes gleamed with the presence of the powerful mind behind them. He looked like everything John had ever hoped for.

Too good to be true.

'You're dead,' he croaked, the cold buzz of shock replaced with a sudden, hot flash of shame. 'I saw you. You were dead. We buried you. It was all a trick?'

Sherlock squared his shoulders and shifted his weight, bracing himself, John realised. His hands were behind his back, not raised in any kind of self-defence. He was expecting a punch. A punishment. Even as part of John snarled in satisfaction at the thought, something in the pit of his stomach curled up tight and small, horrified.

The veil of disbelief fell from his eyes, removing its haze and allowing him to really see the man in front of him. Not the same after all. Thinner, for a start. Thinner, even than when John had first known him. He looked stark out there in the hallway, the Belstaff more a suit of armour than anything else. It hung from his shoulders, the thick wool falling like broken wings. One or two touches of yellowish-green stained his skin at his jaw and temple, old bruises, almost faded from sight. How many other injuries lay underneath his clothes? How many other hidden hurts stood testament to the truth?

'You've been fighting.' He let go of the door handle, his fingers itching to reach out and touch, but he held himself back, folding his arms across his chest and setting his jaw hard, tamping down on the awful morass of conflicting emotions that boiled in his gut. 'Without me.'

Sherlock swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing visibly. He ducked his head, looking at the floor, his lashes fluttering as if he were fighting off some appalling, bone-deep exhaustion. 'Moriarty had gunmen trained on you, and others. Others that mattered. I saw it coming, to some extent. Saw him carving the path for my own ruin and planned accordingly. I just didn't see –' He shook his head. 'I never thought I'd be gone this long. A week at most, not...'

Years. John did not say it: couldn't bring himself to name the length of his sentence of grief. Too long. It had been too long, but an hour ago he had believed it would last a lifetime. Instead, Sherlock stood in front of him, bruised and, John suspected, broken in ways he couldn't see, but alive.

He moved suddenly, ignoring Sherlock's shocked flinch as he all but threw himself at him, making him rock back as his body impacted with Sherlock's chest and his arms banded his back. Another time, Sherlock's rigid surprise would be hilarious, but instead John could only relish it: the warmth of him, the way he stood there, real despite it all, and at last, the way those slender arms wrapped John's body in a comforting embrace, gentle at first, then squeezing tight as true relief began to bleed through.

God knew what Sherlock had been through, and he would find out. He'd know it all. How Sherlock had survived the fall, how he had lived, and how he had fought his way back to John's side.

That came later, though. For now, they clung to one another, light and leaden with relief in equal measure.

Together again.

AO3 | KO-FI | PATREON

[thevagabondexpress]

i also want to touch just for a second on jiao's name. we know she had an english name, josephine carstairs, because judith tells us in requiem for a shared delusion, and we know that at some point after arriving in england she put it permanently to bed and has gone by "ke jiao" from then on. josephine is effectively a deadname. the audacity, to push back against colonialism that hard in that century. the spine she would've needed to do it.

[lunarmote]

Requiem for a Dream - Visual Analysis

Just some comments on the cinematography of Requiem for a Dream (directed by Darron Aronofsky, cinematography by Matthew Libatique). On my second view of it, it was much easier to pick up on visual storytelling.

The film centers around the lives of four characters - Harry & his girlfriend Marion, his mother Sara Goldfarb, and their friend Tyrone. I feel like there aren't as many shots of Tyrone as the other three, so I'll be focusing on the character arcs of Harry/Marion and Sara. In particular, I'm interested in the way that the cinematographer uses techniques to depict the ways each character is alone in both their own "space" and shared space.

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS POST. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Harry/Marion’s Arc

Summertime. Everything is bathed in a soft white light. Sara's friends sit on their lawn chairs in a row of pastels. The color green is abundant. In general, everything has a quality of brevity, ethereality to it.

This split screen does something interesting. The characters are lying right next to each other, but they are divided by the split. His hand reaches towards her face but can never make that uninterrupted journey. It’ll appear from the left side of her frame with no connection to the mass which is him. When we’re shown something that is happening concurrently (that is, which part of the lower body the hand is touching), it comes at the cost of replacing one of the close-ups.

As the characters descend into desperation and paranoia, all the greens leach out of the film. There is a heaviness to every shot.

If you know what’s happening in this scene, Harry is trying to convince Marion into prostitution to pay for their supply. His face is just barely out of the shot, but you only see Marion, alone.

Their relationship past the point of no return, both Marion & Harry have succumbed to their addiction.

Sara’s Arc

Summer, again. Moss green interior, daylight, plants. Sara’s house is full of miscellaneous collectibles, but at this point, they only show how ordinary her life used to be, and could have been. Tantalized by the prospect of losing weight, but not ready to commit, Sara runs her palm over the box of chocolates before popping one into her mouth. (Cue audio: Very very loud and slow chewing)

Sara looks over Harry’s graduation photo. The last time she, her husband, and Harry were together?

Fall. Scenes are now shot at night. I think the primary benefit of this is the use of elongated shadows changing the familiar into the unfamiliar. The house, once so tame and familiar, becomes a hostile environment. The TV happens to be right in the corner. Sara is smack-dab in the middle of the frame and would be looking up at it.

Descending into her delusions, Sara dances with herself.

One of many scenes that play with the characters’ skewed perception of time. Sara herself is shot at a regular fps, while all the people around her are sped up. She is surrounded by people but no one will be there to match her rate of operation. Incredibly tragic.

The Hug

I counted three times that Sara and Harry hugged in this film - the first time when Harry pulls up in a cab, the second during the visit before he leaves, and the last one in the very last scene.

One of the earlier hugs. The characters start off alone on either side of the frame and successfully bridge the gap.

The last hug.

[doomonfilm]

Review : Joker (2019)

Cesar Romero transformed the character from an idea on a page to a villain on the screen.  Jack Nicholson made the character cool.  Mark Hamill gave the performance that most fans resonate with to this day.  Heath Ledger pushed the boundaries of method acting, tainting the character with real life tragedy.  Jared Leto made a mockery of the character.  If the early critical and audience reactions mean anything, Joaquin Phoenix may soon be king of the iconic titular character of his latest film, Joker. 

Aspiring comedian Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) spends his days as a clown for hire at Ha-Ha’s, a day-labor company where Fleck floats from gig to gig picking up a fast buck.  After being attacked by a group of kids, Arthur’s co-worker Randall (Glenn Fleshler) gives him a gun so that he can protect himself.  When not working, Arthur cares for his sick mother Penny Fleck (Frances Conroy), who spends her time watching late-night TV host Murray Franklin (Robert De Niro) and writing mysterious letters to billionaire Thomas Wayne (Brett Cullen).  After meeting single mother Sophie (Zazie Beetz) and inviting her to a comedy show, Arthur is soon fired from his job when a gun falls out of his pant leg during a performance at a children’s hospital.  While riding home from his firing, Arthur is accosted by three businessmen on the subway, and in an act of self-defense turned murder, he kills all three.  The killing gives Arthur a sense of purpose and self-understanding that he had yet to experience, sending him on a path of chaos and destruction, all in the name of further self-understanding.

Joker is an incredibly unique approach to an iconic character, and a breath of fresh air in terms of a character study in terms of execution.  Due to the history of the Joker character in terms of his clear actions set against his purposely vague origin, we are presented with what I’ve dubbed a ‘front-loaded backstory’, where we are searching for starting points to understand and connect to the Joker moments we know so well.  Much of that is presented in terms of Arther Fleck’s mental disorder that he shares with his mother, his mother’s deception in regards to her connection with Thomas Wayne and Arthur’s familial origins, and how Arthur views society at large.  His laugh is connected to his disorder, his garb and clown makeup is attributed to his former job and comedic aspirations, and his undying connection to Batman is further enhanced due to a purposefully messy origin story.  His nihilistic nature is really what is focused on and explored in Joker, as Fleck learns that his wiring causes him to find pleasure in what should be pain, while simultaneously inspiring many in similar positions to take to the streets in protest of the same things that scare and sadde Fleck. 

The world that Todd Phillips creates was the most fascinating part of the film, in my opinion.  The classic Warner Brothers logo and titling make the film feel old, as well as the color timing and some of the costuming, but there are many modern day elements present as well, like the Wayne subway system or the graffiti found throughout the city.  Gotham and Arkham Asylum are both mentioned directly, but there are many heavy allusions to New York as well : the sanitation workers strike, the rat epidemic, and Fleck’s bizarro-world Donald Goines style killing all echo New York more so than fictional Gotham.  Wall Street is even mentioned directly in regards to the three Wayne Enterprises workers.  There is also a nice mix of direct and indirect (in my opinion) references to a handful of films... Taxi Driver and You Were Never Really Here need no explanation, nor does The King of Comedy (which works subtly due to the Fleck character, and directly due to Robert De Niro appearing in both films).  Some of the more unique references, however, are found when we take a closer look at Fleck... his connection with his mother and their fascination with TV gave me Requiem for a Dream feels.  His delusional nature and the way he projects his thoughts onto the world felt similar to Jacob’s Ladder at times.  Even Fleck’s self-aggrandizing dances, specifically the one he does in the bathroom after finding his power in the wake of killing the Wayne Enterprises workers, gave me feels of John Cusack’s dance he does for Catherine Keener after bedding her in Being John Malkovich.  All of this texture, combined with the blurring of lines between Gotham and New York, is really what makes this film work.  

On a technical level, this film is an astonishing achievement for Phillips, and one that shows incredible growth as a director.  The dark, reality-based humor from some of his lighter films is present, but the laser focus on it puts it front and center as the driving force that inspires his Fleck character.  The brooding score is offset by unique, upbeat music cues, bringing a manic-depressive feel to the soundtrack of the film.  Phillips uses EXTREMELY subtle touches to differentiate between Joker’s real and delusional moments, but the subtlety is so nuanced that it is not always immediately obvious in regards to the nature of what we’re seeing.  Joker’s wardrobe and makeup dance around the traditional presentation of the iconic comic and film character for the majority of the film, eventually landing on something that is close enough to the standard presentation, while still being unique to the world created by Phillips for Joker.  The textured city, as well as the unclear time/era of the film due to allusions to real moments in New York history, gives the narrative an uncanny valley feel while we search for something distinguishing to hang onto the film in terms of era and location. 

While many have been surprised by the depth of Joaquin Phoenix’s performance, it seems to me that he channeled the best parts of his performances in The Master and You Were Never Really Here in order to hone on in the troubled persona that alludes to the creation of the Joker.  Robert De Niro brings the charm of a late night host and comedian that translates into a sort of fatherly inspiration for the Fleck character, paralleling the characters as diametric opposites, and fueling the fire for their eventual meeting.  Frances Conroy is a living mirror to hold up against Phoenix in terms of the troubled mindstate he portrays, and the possibility/inevitability of his future.  Zazie Beatz is used mostly in an accessory manner, but her presence helps stir the pot of confusion in terms of reality and delusion, based on her demeanor.  Brett Cullen brings a darker, sinister and less humane feel to the Wayne patriarch, symbolizing human greed and power more so than class and admirable qualities.  Glenn Fleshler allows himself to wallow in a swinging, two-face nature that sways from ‘friend’ to ‘foe’, sometimes within the same conversation, towards the Fleck character and his coworkers.  Bill Camp and Shea Whigham get to dive into the old school NYPD detective energy, channeling films like The French Connection despite their small role.  Brief appearances by Marc Maron, Leigh Gill, Josh Pais, Brian Tyree Henry, Douglas Hodge, Bryan Callen and Justin Theroux (uncredited) round things out.

I think due to my personal connection with Heath Ledger’s career (and my personal dislike of it), and the way he won my respect in his portrayal of the Joker, he will always be my choice for the best.  That being said, Joker is a true shining achievement on the level of Logan in terms of how it takes a superhero/comic property and turns it into a gripping, emotional film.  As much as I’d like to see a Joaquin Phoenix-style Joker butt heads with a Robert Pattison-portrayed Batman, I am willing to accept this project as the beautiful one-off that it has been advertised to be.  Definitely worth seeing, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes some noise when awards season arrives.

[shadowfaximpala]

Requiem for the Damned

Part Four

Summary: From somewhere in the darkness hope is born, from one tortured soul to another they share in the desolate wasteland of loneliness. Only fate has other plans…

Tags:  Reader Insert, Female Reader, Season 5, eventual relationship, eventual time skip

Relationship: Lucifer x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of depression, SMUT, Oral, Unprotected sex

Author’s Notes: Sooo, we’re on the steamy bit! The plot will thicken after this chapter. Also... dat GIF though. *Dead*

____________________________

Salvation

Weeks passed by, and every night was a new experience, a new venture to expose, scratching the surface of this indestructible wall that he had put up. Yet he still appeared almost every night, some nights you were up until an ungodly hour, talking about past experiences. He was always so vague with his replies, he would let you in just a little and then retreat back behind that cold exterior, yet still prying into your being.

You had noticed however his appearance starting to deteriorate, his skin paling, his body slowly turning from lean into gaunt, his face beginning to form small blisters.

Every morning you would wake up feeling refreshed and revitalised even though some nights you had only a few hours of rest before having to get up for work.

But the visits began to slow, his presence began to fade from your apartment, days turned into a week, and then a fortnight. Your anxiety going into overdrive, concocting all sorts of scenarios in your mind, what if he had finally given up on your insolent whining? What if he had passed on to wherever, moved on to the next helpless soul, or died? Your nightmares began to resurface, so you knew he hadn’t even been lurking during your sleeping hours.

Until one night you heard a crash in your bedroom, you rushed from you kitchen to find him clutching his arm, he looked terrible.

“What happened?” You rushed to his side instantly, easing him back onto your bed for stability. With a grunt he tried to bat away your fussing ministrations but you decided to persist with inspecting him.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine,” he protested but you remained vigilant.

“I’ll be right back,” within minutes you returned clutching a bowl with a cloth that was soaked in hot water and salt in one hand and a bottle of pure alcohol in the other.

“Hold still, this might hurt a little,” you wrung out the cloth and softly placed it on the blistering skin at his temples.

“Shit,” with a hiss he recoiled at your touch. “There’s really no need, it won’t do much.”

“Just let me help,” he seemed to settle down and let you work after a while, he couldn’t take his eyes from you as you cared for him.

He knew it, he tried to detach himself from you, but he wound up right back here where he felt some form of safety and acceptance, if you knew who he was you would surely cast him out like everyone else. He couldn’t bring himself to tell you the truth, you had somehow nestled your way into his cold, blackened heart. He hated humanity and yet here you stood, a wrench in his ultimate disgust towards his fathers flawed creation, the conflict was eating him up on the inside and tearing away at the fabric of his resolve. Instinctively his hand curled around your wrist, signalling for you to stop what you were doing. He could snap your neck right there, click his fingers and dissipate every fibre of your being into a bloody mist and yet there was only one thing he wanted more than anything in the world… The way your expression dropped from concentration into something deeper It made his human vessel's chest burn with feelings he hadn’t experienced in what felt like a long eternity.

He stood from the bed, his height towering over you, his body drawing close to yours, his hands wove their way up to clutch the sides of your face, thumbs resting on your cheeks so delicately. “You have no idea what you do to me…” his voice was barely a whisper.

“Lucifer I-” He snapped his hands back to his side, he tried to step back but the back of his legs connected with your mattress casing him to topple back into a sitting position.

“How -” You cut him off by placing a finger to his lips.

“It was pretty easy to figure out, I was forced to read the bible as a kid you know, riveting stuff, but when you spoke about your family, it all started to make sense, well it clicked into place when I saw the shadow of your wings added to the red eyes and reluctance to tell me who you really were. I said it the first night we met, and I’ll say it again, I’m not afraid of you.” He searched your features for any sign of fear, he was greeted with a warm and welcoming smile.

Strong hands encircled your waist, clutching you and drawing you in. You laced your fingers through the angel’s blonde hair, softly massaging his scalp as he hugged your midsection tight.

“I told you before Luci, I’m not like everyone else.”

It wasn’t that you wanted to toy with danger, this wasn’t some hope to tame the devil or some delusions of grandeur that would see you courting danger. You felt completely and utterly safe in this fallen angel’s presence. You understood him, you could relate to his pain, his anguish and his hurt, you knew his misery. This wasn’t a being that you wanted to fix or coax something from for a selfish agenda. You simply wanted to share in his company. There was something deeper at work that was connecting you to him, and he could also feel it.

“I won’t abandon you,” you uttered softly.

And for once, the devil believed in something spoken. He rose once more, his hands never leaving your hips as he closed the proximity between you, your arms wrapped around his neck as his lips glided softly over yours.

A spark went off somewhere in your soul, electricity bounded through every fibre of your being and sent a shock-wave of wanting coursing through you. Sweet decadence of desire deepened the kiss, both of you growing hungrier for one another as your bodies moved creating friction. Strong hands cradled you as you were spun around, your back softly meeting the mattress, Lucifer’s weight above you in an instant, caged between him and the mattress you felt something you'd never felt before... home.

A growl erupted from his throat, his hips began to grind against yours, intentions evident in both of your ministrations, his lips left yours to ghost along your jaw before settling at the base of your throat, his tongue tracing over your skin before he gave your neck a soft bite.

Your panting became moans encouraging Lucifer to continue. Hands drifted up from your waist to your breasts, his thumbs brushed against your hardened nipples circling your sensitive nub. Your hips bucked upwards instinctively, meeting his hardened manhood, he responded by rolling his hips against yours as his breath became heavy. His body left your momentarily as he sat up, removing his shirt swiftly exposing his sculpted torso to you, your eyes roamed his body hungrily, you followed his lead by disposing of your shirt and tossing it to the floor, your bra followed moments after.

Intoxicated with one another your lips met for another searing kiss, his skin feeling ice cold against your own, a stark contrast between your rising temperature making your body feel electric under his touch.

"You taste divine," he breathed between kisses as his tongue danced further down your body to the mounds of sensitive flesh. Heavy moans burst from your lungs as the angel above you gently caressed your nipple with his wet appendage.

"Fuck," you groaned, your hips rolling to signal your building pleasure. You hadn't even noticed Luci's hands popping the button on your jeans and pulling the zipper down, easing access to the area you needed him the most.

Above the cloth of your underwear a long digit pressed against your soaking entrance, applying an ounce of needed pressure before softly sliding his finger up eliciting such sweet sounds as he began to massage your clit. He could sense your frustration as he watched your expression turn from bliss into a frown. He smiled wickedly and removed his body entirely from you. He practically ripped off his pants, standing before you completely bare. You drank in the image and committed it to your memory, he was absolutely fucking glorious.

Encircling your waist his hands tugged you towards the end of the bed, grabbing the hem of your pants and pulling them away from you followed by your undergarments. Lucifer's expression mirrored yours, his pupils engulfing his blue iris'.

As soon as his knees met with the floor, his form knelt before you, your head felt light with anticipation. His eyes searched yours for any form of resistance as you sat up, he moved closer to your throbbing sex.

"Please," you begged, the way his smile twisted you definitely pleased him. Slowly but surely his tongue glided against your sensitivity and back down again, and that's when you felt it, his tongue split and either side worked in its own way to send you falling back into the mattress screaming, white spots beginning to form at the corner of your vision. Eyes drifting shut you could feel a familiar knot in your stomach beginning to build.

Lucifer added a finger to his teasing, easing you gently before adding another finger. That was it, you toppled off the cliff willingly as your orgasm shook your entirety, it was like nothing you had ever felt before. Lucifer's name tumbled from your lips in sweet, erratic praise, it was music to his ears.

Before you could come down from your high his weight was above you once more, his lips tangling with yours.

"You know there's no coming back from this?" He spoke between kisses, his gaze was piercing when he finally looked at you, he wasn't just searching your eyes, he was searching your soul for any form of resistance.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," your voice was low and sultry, you wrapped your hand around the base of his neck, pulling his ear towards your lips. "I want you to fuck me." Your devilish smile sets his soul on fire, the tickle of your breath on his neck made his cock twitch in anticipation. He lined himself up with your dripping core and pushed himself inside. Like two perfectly aligned pieces of a jigsaw you fit perfectly together, it took a few moments for you both to come to your senses before he began moving. There was no mercy when it came to the devil, he was fast and starving for you, the way he rolled his groin further into you massaged your clit as his cock stretched your walls in all the right places had you seeing stars.

Moans and grunts filled the apartment from both of you, the pace changing from fast and hard to slow and passionate, with his hunger sated Lucifer slowly kissed your neck as he continued to move his hips in response to yours in perfect synchronicity. You could feel that coil building inside your lower abdomen, a simmering fire now raging and threatening to burst.

"Come for me," with a low whisper in your ear and a precise grinding movement pushed you over the edge, you felt like you were being ripped apart at the seams with sheer bliss, a thunderous explosion roaring through your soul.

The sounds radiating from you was the push that was needed for Lucifer to follow you, on the precipice of release he could feel power surging through him as intense as displaying his true form, he quickly demanded that you shut your eyes, cupping his hand over your eyelids to ensure the flash of white light wasn't witnessed by you as he spilled himself inside, he came hard and so intense that his breathing became laboured and ragged next to your ear.

Deeming it safe he slowly uncovered your eyes, the sheer intensity of the white light left dots dancing around your vision, although once your eyes adjusted it wasn't exactly white spots that you were surrounded by...

Part Three  <<         >> 

Tag List: @hunterpuff @luciferseclipse