#rereading all of this while listening to his playlist got me down to song number 18 which is soda by nothing but thieves (tho i did end

[mattodore]

100 questions with Theo | playlist, pinterest | ←

1. What common traits do you share with your oc? What about them is the least like you?

Well… we both have a hard time connecting with people, are easily jealous, and are hungry for understanding. Theo is very different from me in that he’s reckless, judgmental, dismissive, and is more willing to work for approval than I am.

2. Do you think you would get along with your oc if you could meet them? What things would you talk about?

To be honest… no. Theo isn’t exactly easy to get along with (which is by design) and neither one of us would make the first move to talk to the other.

3. How competent would your oc be in a survival situation? Would they be better off on their own or in a group?

He’d be very competent. Theo is a survivor. He’ll claw his way to the finish line even while covered in gore and viscera. Most of his knowledge comes from what he’s read with little hands-on experience, but I believe he’d still be able to apply that knowledge well. He’s not very strong as he doesn’t exercise and is fairly slim… so I think he might struggle with things that would require a lot of muscle. But, then again, Theo has a sharp mind… I think he could find a workaround for most things that would’ve required physical strength anyway. Theo’s fast on his feet and is also good at hiding… he’s pretty stealthy and quiet when he needs to be. Plus, with Theo’s perceptiveness and natural aptitude for reading people, I think he’d be quick to suss out who’s trustworthy or not and would know not to approach a bad situation. 

Theo is a loner and is generally distrustful of people, so he’d be better off on his own. Maybe one other person beside him would be okay for a short while just to have an ally, but… I don’t know. I think he’d let someone tag along with him for a few days and then he’d just vanish in the middle of the night to be all on his own again.

4. Is your oc a daredevil, or more of a scaredy cat? What is the most daring thing they’ve done in their life?

He’s self-destructive, so… daredevil. At the same time, though, I think a lot of the situations Theo puts himself in do in fact scare him… you’d hardly be able to tell, though. The most daring thing he’s done… hm… Theo has walked into the den of a drug lord and behaved disrespectfully.

5. What is your oc’s patience like? When waiting for something, are they able to sit still or do they fidget? How do they fidget?

I think Theo is exceptionally patient and doesn’t fidget at all. He was trained out of unattractive behaviors very young in his life, so he doesn’t fuss or even so much as shift from foot to foot—not even while under duress. He’s very still. As for his patience… Theo is well acquainted with never getting what he wants no matter how long he waits, so he has the patience of a saint.

6. How much thought does your oc put into what they wear/look like? Any reason why?

Theo has to think about what he’s wearing very carefully. He’s essentially living three separate lives and has different attire for each of them. He has the typical refined masculine fashion he has to wear whenever he’s around his family, the casual fashion he dresses in for his college life, and then the more fun, colorful, androgynous fashion that he wears for his nightlife activities. He’s separated his life into three neat little boxes while he himself stands at a distance from them, wiping his hands on his legs nervously.

With regards to skin and hair care, he doesn’t do much. Theo has naturally good skin (even when he was a teenager) and only uses facial cleanser and lotions on it. His hair is the same and all he does to it, aside from washing it, is use different oils to keep it soft. He doesn’t allot much time to these things as he has other things he believes he needs to focus on (academics, for one). 

7. Does your oc collect anything? What about knowledge or facts? How big is their collection?

Theo collects these small, intricately crafted decorative bells! He loves the sounds they make and how pretty they are. He has an entire curio cabinet full of them and is methodical in dusting them off and wiping them down regularly. He also has a ton of other knick knacks and things he’s picked up over the years scattered all around his apartment, but the bells are what he’s most attached to, I believe.

8. What kind of flavors does your oc like? How much spice can they handle?

Theo has been eating spicy food since he was a child, so he takes it like a champ. I don’t think he’s ever had anything that was too spicy for him. The burn is nothing to him. Moving on, Theo isn’t picky and will eat whatever is given to him, no matter the flavor. He does actually dislike sweets, though, and has a hard time eating them when they’re given to him. To be clear, he’ll still eat them… he just doesn’t actually like them and grimaces the whole way through. Theo has a really strange relationship with food. 

9. How easily does your oc trust others? Any particular reason why? How trustworthy are they themselves?

Theo had his trust broken by the abuse and neglect he faced when he was just a little boy. He’s never felt safe around others as a result and the effects of that have definitely leaked over onto everything else in his life, staining any chance he could’ve had at forming normal bonds with others. It’s not even that he doesn’t trust people easily, but rather that he distrusts everyone on principle and is suspicious of every kindness or placid smile he receives. Even when he’s being pampered, he feels uneasy and suspicious of what will come next—what he thinks has to come next. He believes that there’s something malignant and twisted at the core of everyone who tries to touch him. If he can’t find the intent to harm that he always expects to see, he’ll just sow the seed himself.

As for Theo, I believe he’s trustworthy to a point. You can trust that Theo won’t tell other people the things you’ve told him in confidence, but you can’t exactly trust him not to turn around and start hurling the things you’ve told him right back in your face. Theo lashes out when he gets nervous or scared, especially if he’s in withdrawal, and he has this ability to see through people… to know what will slice them apart easiest, what they dislike most about themselves… that is almost impossible to come back from. You have to be incredibly strong, mentally speaking, to be able to handle Theo sometimes. He’ll tremble while hurting you, but he’ll hurt you nonetheless.

10. What are some of your oc’s pet peeves? How do they handle it when the annoyance doesn’t stop?

Theo actually has a lot of pet peeves… so much so that I don’t think it’d be a wise use of my time to list them all, lest we be here for days. I’ll just list off some of the things that annoy him the most out of everything. 

Theo really doesn’t like being prodded for answers to personal questions, especially if they relate to his childhood or family life. He doesn’t like it when he’s interrupted or talked down to. He doesn’t like being touched unexpectedly or having someone stand too close to him and will flinch reactively. He doesn’t like having the spotlight on him—or, at least, he doesn’t like it when he’s not all uninhibited from intoxication. He especially doesn’t like arrogance (lmao).

How Theo reacts is totally dependent on who he’s around, whether or not he’s using, and whichever one of these pet peeves is getting to him, but in general he’s either going to shut down, glare and shoot off at the mouth, or walk away.

11. Does your oc have a good sense of direction? Do they get lost easily?

Theo’s sense of direction is okay, but it definitely could be better. His memory itself isn’t very great and he often finds himself feeling déjà vu in places he swears he’s never been to while forgetting the basic landmarks that’re around the city he lives in. 

12. How well would your oc handle being placed in a leadership position?

Not well at all. Theo doesn’t want to be responsible for other people when he can hardly even take care of himself. The idea of being some kind of authority is nausea inducing to him. I think a lot of people would willingly follow him, though, because he really does have this innate ability to draw people in even when he’s not trying to.

13. What is your oc’s confidence like? Are they self-confident to the point of being arrogant? Are they terribly self-deprecating?

Theo often seems to other people as though he has a lot of self-confidence because of the way he talks and how he carries himself, but in actuality he’s rather disparaging toward himself. He’s always second guessing himself and wondering if he’s good enough. He feels as though he’s missing some vital part of himself that everyone else must have, something that without which he’s never going to be fully whole and deserving of love. 

14. What is your oc’s speech like? How loud are they usually? Do they have an accent or a stutter?

Theo has a very clear voice and never slurs. However, he does start mumbling if he’s beginning to withdraw into himself or if he’s only just woken up and sleep is still clinging to him. He speaks quietly, never wanting to be too loud and draw too much attention to himself (a habit he formed in his childhood). His American English accent is largely neutral without any extra stresses or dips.

He did actually develop a stutter in his teenage years but underwent speech therapy for it. 

15. What is your oc’s memory like? Do they remember certain things better than others? Do they have any strategies to better remember things?

Theo often has lapses in his memory that’re either brought upon by or made worse by drug use and trauma. There are events and experiences that his brain just buries from him and he can’t remember them at all. Aside from that, his memory itself isn’t that great, but he’s learned that repetition helps. If he’s studying or has something he really wants to remember well, he’ll read/repeat it forwards and then backwards a few times. He takes a ton of notes as well and has a journal that he writes in every day now. He’s aware that his memory gets better when he lays off the drug use for a while, but… he’s addicted. He doesn’t try getting clean for a while and relapses many times before it finally sticks.

16. How affectionate is your oc? How do they convey their affection? By being touchy, or through more subtle ways?

Whether it’s platonic or romantic, Theo isn’t very affectionate at all. He doesn’t even really have a baseline for what real physical and verbal affection is meant to look like anymore, as his memories of the affection his childhood au pair showed him keep fading more and more as each day passes.

Theo can only picture affection if it’s hard—if it’s brutal and rough and will ultimately hurt him. He can’t really wrap his head around softness anymore. That kind of touch is almost unbearable to him… because if he could’ve always had gentle hands on him, then what did he do so wrong to deserve the ones he got? 

He wants to be affectionate, but… it’s too much. He’s too fearful and ashamed of everything he wants and it’s all just building up inside of him. Voicing desire out loud is nearly impossible for him as well, because he just feels so much shame around it… how it deviates from everything he’s been told he should want… how it’s been used against him… 

It takes a lot of time to get him used to gentle affection and when he starts to reciprocate it, it’s tentative at first. He’ll stand close by and then he’ll reach out to hold onto an arm or grip tight onto the back of a shirt for just a few seconds. Just… little progress at a time, these small victories where warmth spreads through his fingers. It takes well over a year before he becomes more bold and will initiate kisses or hugs. Still, though, he won’t voice his affections or even his desires. Not for a very long time.

The only exception to this is when he’s hurt. He seeks Matthias out and will wait to be touched before clinging on tightly and letting it all out.

17. How polite is your oc? Do they know how to act in a formal situation? How would they *actually* act in a formal situation?

Theo isn’t very polite unless he’s in the presence of his parents or is somewhere where he’s expected to uphold his family name. He knows how to act in formal situations well enough and will follow the rules set out for those occasions when he needs to. Outside of formal situations and away from his parents, though, Theo is often dismissive and cold and will skim over the standards of politeness. It’s the only way he knows how to defend himself anymore.

18. How physically strong is your oc? Is their agility or endurance better?

Theo isn’t very strong at all. He has some lean muscle that’s a combination of natural testosterone paired with light cardio (he dances, plays a few sports when he gets the opportunity to, and sometimes jogs) but that’s it. I think his stamina isn’t that great but he’s fast and reacts quickly—though he finds it hard to actually dodge when he should… even when he can see it coming. His tolerance for pain has adapted over time and is rather high now, but the emotional effects of being hurt still get to him.

19. What is your oc’s creative skillset? Music, drawing, writing, dancing, etc.? Or are they lacking creativity entirely?

I think Theo is actually really creative even without him realizing it. He really enjoys dancing and is free while moving, doing whatever he thinks feels good; he wasn’t taught professionally at all, so it’s just intuitive and fun for him. He keeps track of things in his journal, but he has a certain style to the way he writes that I think is incredibly descriptive and lends itself to creativity. In all of his English and Literature classes he received a ton of high praise that was ultimately ignored as it wasn’t relevant to the direction his life was planned to go in (with relation to his future major in business). He doesn’t draw or play music, but I think he’d be good at it if he ever allowed himself the time to have those creative outlets. Theo’s pretty strict with himself, honestly, but his imagination… it’s definitely there. I think as a child he was used to entertaining himself by imagining a different life for himself, one where his au pair took him with them when they left his home. 

20. Does your oc have any favorite games to pass the time? What other hobbies do they have?

Theo people watches, if that counts. He likes observing people and picking out details about their life from their behaviors and the way they dress. His other hobbies… hm. I don’t think he has very many, truthfully. He likes to go partying and will get intoxicated however he can and go dancing, maybe even play a few drinking games. He likes playing sports but he doesn’t often get the opportunity to since he doesn’t have any friends (in his mind). He likes to collect things and window shop. He likes journaling. Yeah… that’s really all I can think of. Theo doesn’t allow himself very many simple joys.

21. Is your oc expressive, or would they rather conceal their emotions? What are their typical expressions like?

Theo can certainly try very hard to conceal his emotions, but his eyes… they give everything away if you’re truly paying attention. He can be very impassive at times, especially if he’s hurt, but when he’s frustrated it’s incredibly obvious; his brow furrows and he glares directly at whatever or whomever is bothering him. He hides his hurt well, but when he’s feverish and sick you can kind of catch onto it by the sweat on his brow and the flush of his cheeks. Theo’s smile itself is incredibly rare and kind of… clumsy? His smile is crooked and he never holds it for very long. If you call out his name he’ll startle and quickly look toward you, and in those few seconds of shock his face gives away how terrified he truly is most of the time. 

22. How easily does your oc fare in the sun? Do they tan or burn easily? Are they completely unaffected?

Theo doesn’t burn at all even when he doesn’t apply any sunscreen. Let it be known that Matthias is always reaching out to Theo to put some on him when they’re together, fussing over Theo and complaining about the harms of the sun… it’s cute. Theo doesn’t tan that easily so he has to put suntan lotion on whenever he wants to.

23. How graceful is your oc? Are they elegant in their movements, or more clumsy?

Theo has a grace that comes to him easily now through years of practice. Because of how ambitious both of his parents were for wealth and status, he’d been brought to numerous social functions that required a lot of him when it came to manners and poise. He never learned in a professional capacity, but he has a kind of elegance that was ingrained in him by a militaristic approach to teaching from his parents as well as observation. There’s nothing clumsy about the way he moves when in public and you would assume he’s someone who’s very confident in himself just by watching him from across the room.

24. Is your oc a romantic, or are they grossed out by the simple mention of anything romantic?

Hm. I don’t think Theo outwardly shows any romantic tendencies, but inwardly… in that soft, guarded place inside of him… I think he makes himself sick yearning for love and romance. He doesn’t let on to those feelings of his at all. In fact, I think Theo probably shrinks away from mentions of romance, insisting he doesn’t need it… but really, it’s something he imagines all the time. What must it be like, to have that for yourself? Does it hurt? How bad is it? Is it painless? Does it fill you up? Does it ever feel like enough? Thoughts like those.

25. How stubborn is your oc? Are they open to considering different options or opinions, or are they more closed off?

Theo is incredibly stubborn. You can certainly try to convince him to change his opinion or what he believes, but you’re going to be fighting tooth and nail against a man who is wholly inflexible. Theo’s formed a lot of very fast and hard opinions over the course of his life that he’s unreceptive to changing for his own peace of mind. He might let some allowances slip by, but don’t count on it. I honestly don’t think he’d ever give in and change them unless he’s been hit with solid facts or experiences something for himself that points to the contrary. 

26. How does your oc sleep? Do they move around a lot? What position does your oc normally sleep in? What are their typical bedding arrangements like?

Theo is a very anxious, fitful sleeper. He’s wound up all tight through the night and will fist his hands in his covers or his pillows. He moves around a lot and prefers to sleep with his back to a wall and the door a great distance away from him. He can’t sleep if he’s on the first floor of a building or if he doesn’t check all of the locks first. Theo sleeps on his side and will actually startle awake if he rolls over onto his stomach, heart in his throat and sweat at his temples. Theo’s bed in his apartment has… three, maybe four pillows—one of which he hugs to his chest. On his bed, he has two sets of sheets, a comforter, and a blanket. Theo has a sort of crowded bed, honestly, but it cradles him… which is something he needs to feel safe.

27. What is your oc’s sleep schedule like? Are they a night owl, an early morning riser, or do they get any sleep at all?

Theo prefers the morning as he doesn’t like the dark and feels worse without sunlight. But… hm… Theo doesn’t get a lot of sleep since he’s either out partying and getting too intoxicated to stand or he’s up all night pouring over his study notes and getting a headache for it. I’d say he normally falls asleep around 3AM-4AM and doesn’t wake back up until 7AM. Four-ish hours is pretty average for how much sleep he gets a night… maybe less at times. He’s wearing himself down and will end up crashing eventually… 

28. How organized is your oc? How important is organization to your oc?

Theo is very organized when it comes to his study materials and his wardrobe, but the state of the rest of his apartment is… I wouldn’t say messy exactly, but cluttered enough that he has trouble finding things sometimes. He has so much on his plate already that his apartment kind of suffers for it. I think he values organization a lot, it’s just that he lets it get away from him. I think there’s a lot you can learn about Theo from how his apartment looks…

29. If a perfume was to be made to represent your oc, what sorts of smells would be included in it?

I think Theo is best represented by light scents as he himself doesn’t really like anything that smells too chemical. He hardly ever wears cologne, but when he does he sticks to a fresh green scent. Powder and soap… that’s what reminds me of him most. Lemon, too, but not strong… just a hint of citrus.

30. How caring/empathetic is your oc? Are they the type to immediately adopt and protect others, or are they a true sadist?

Kindness hasn’t come easily to Theo since he was a child, so I’m not sure if he’s very caring anymore… at least, if he is then he doesn’t outwardly show it. Theo does have a learned kind of empathy, though… just not… a very real kind? Um, so because of the hostile environment he grew up in he had to adapt to subtle changes in expression, mood, and tone… he needed to know when he was in danger, what alert signs there were. The easier people became to read, the more he could feel their emotions spill over and try to pull him in. It’s… not exactly as if he’s sharing the feelings, but more like he has a very real sense of them… it’s almost tangible.

31. What inspired the creation of your oc? Any specific things, a general aesthetic or idea, or something completely random?

Theo is a pretty old character of mine… I’d say he’s been with me for at least five years now. Originally, I think he was just… a vague idea in my head with some aesthetic choices in mind (sweaters, abandoned houses, autumn leaves, dirty shoes)... but over time I started getting more invested. I think one of the main building blocks of his character was actually a really old post I saw about a bloody child bringing a rabbit they'd saved from a hawk into the house and trying to get their mom to notice, but the mom just blew them off because she was busy on the phone… yeah. I kind of got that stuck in my head and built up this neglected kid around it who was a little sarcastic, mean, buried under all kinds of responsibilities, and lonely. His actual appearance in TS4 wasn't even really meant to be him at first, as I'd just been making random male sims at the time and then one of the ones I made kept drawing my attention back to them. I made some slight changes and then I decided that would be Theo. He still looks pretty similar to the original sim, actually.

32. How judgemental is your oc? Do they keep an open mind about people, or are they the type to judge a book by its cover?

Oh, Theo is super judgmental. He’s distrustful of people on principle and highly perceptive, which is an all around bad combination since he can quickly spin the innocuous into something worse. 

33. What five objects or things could be expected to be found on your oc’s person at any time? Why?

Theo has a bag that he keeps his planner, his phone, his keys, some cash, and hand sanitizer in… occasionally there’s some baggies in there if he’s stressed out from too many assignments or pressure from his parents.

34. Does your oc have a pet? If they could have another one or if they were to get one, what would it be? How well could they care for it?

No, Theo has no pets. He wouldn’t even know what kind of pet to get. Theo had never even been around any pets until he met Matthias’s cat. I also think… well. Theo wouldn’t be very good at caring for a pet. Like, I don’t even think he’d be good at feeding fish regularly. He doesn’t have that kind of time and can barely even take care of himself.

35. Does your oc have any distinguishing markings? Scars, tattoos, birthmarks, freckles, etc?

Theo is covered in beauty marks from head to toe. I think his most notable (at least to me) beauty marks are the two under his left eye and the one on the tip of his nose. Theo has no birthmarks, freckles, or tattoos. Theo also has no scars… every violent hand laid on him has been intentional in pulling back just before leaving behind any lasting marks.

36. What is your oc’s fight or flight response like? What sorts of things provoke it the most?

When Theo’s nervous (around other people, in discussions that’re too personal, when confronted by emotions, etc.) I’d say he falsely exhibits the fight response and will become a bit nasty as a defensive maneuver. If he’s pushed past defensive behaviors and is actually put into harm's way, the fight response quickly melts away to his real fear responses. As a specific result of trauma, Theo displays both the fawn and freeze responses. His parents bring about the fawn response and figures of authority bring out the freeze response. I’ll leave it at that.

37. How does your oc handle heavy stress? Do they have any specific coping mechanisms? Are they healthy or not?

Theo is used to stress as he’s been put under a lot of it since he was a teenager. That said, he’s never been able to manage it healthily and his go-to way to cope is by numbing everything out. Theo abuses substances and sex… and I suppose that by nature of both of these coping mechanisms he’s also abusing himself. It’s obviously not good for him and as time goes on he begins to spin out of control.

38. What does your oc do to relax? Any specific activities? Why?

Theo never truly allows himself to relax, like, ever. Hm. I do think there are small moments, though, where he finds some peace. When he’s in his apartment he’ll sometimes reach into the curio cabinet that holds his collection of tiny little bells and give a few of them a ring… the sounds they give off are very sweet and make him smile. In the morning, when he wakes up at his apartment, he likes to watch the birds fluttering about outside his bedroom window; there’s a window box just there that’s home to a nest. He’s never once tried to interact with the birds, though. He just stares and watches silently from his bed.

39. Does your oc have any nicknames? What are the origins of them? If they don’t, can you come up with some possible ones?

Theo is in itself a nickname that he gave himself when he moved out of his parents’ home (Theodore is his full name). Most everyone in his personal life calls him Theo except for his parents, his extended family, and the people that his parents associate with.

Matthias has given Theo a couple personal nicknames and also calls him a bunch of others. My personal favorite of the nicknames Matthias has given Theo is Bambi, which was originally given to him because his last name is Doe (a doe is a kind of deer… hence Matthias reaching for the name of an animated deer). Matthias also calls him Bambi because of his golden brown eyes and because Theo is sort of wobbly and green in Matthias’s eyes, reminding him of that scene wherein Bambi tries to walk for the first time. Matthias also calls Theo mała myszko, which means little mouse in Polish (Matthias’s native language), and he often uses my darling at the same time (like: “My darling, mała myszko, it’s time to get up”). As for regular nicknames, Angel is what Matthias calls Theo most often in the heat of sex (again, a nickname often said alongside my darling, as in: “My darling angel”). There are many more pet names that Matthias calls Theo, but those are the ones he hears most often.

40. What languages does your oc know? Are there any they want to learn but haven’t had the chance to? How good are they at picking up new ones?

Theo is only fluent in English and Spanish, however he can read Hangul and understand Korean when it’s spoken to or around him. He doesn’t have the time to learn any other languages and doesn’t exactly have a desire to either. I think his parents have definitely pushed him to learn more languages as they would benefit his career, but he has too much going on as it is to learn at the moment. 

41. What was the worst injury your oc ever suffered? Has it had any long lasting impact on them?

I’m not going to answer that first part, but I will say that it did impact him grievously and has rippled out through his whole life.

42. Is your oc an optimist or a pessimist? Any particular reason why?

Theo’s a pessimist. He’s never had much to be happy about and is on a path in his life that is being entirely puppeteered by his parents. Theo has nothing to look forward to and feels like his life is out of his own control and already over. 

Through the course of the little story that I have for Echthroi in my head, however, Theo does eventually move away from the pessimism. I don’t think he becomes an optimist exactly, but he smiles more and finds things to look forward to in his life.

43. How important are the rules to your oc? Do they follow them to a t, or do they enjoy breaking them?

Theo definitely has a history as a rule follower. He can’t really help it, not with the way he was raised. He had rebellious moments as a teenager—refusing to sit down for a haircut, stabbing a needle through his own ears to pierce them—but those were things he did to incite his parents’ attention. Now, though… well. I think he still follows most rules, but he does use drugs… pretty big rule to break there, legally speaking.

44. How violent is your oc? Or are they more of a pacifist? To what lengths will they go to start/avoid a conflict?

Theo is all bark and no bite. He’ll lash out if he’s frightened, he’ll insult and dismiss, but the second he sees a telling twitch of the hand or building tension in the jaw he goes quiet and retreats. He’s only ever tried fighting back a few times… he doesn’t have it in him anymore.

45. How is your oc around animals? What about children?

Theo isn’t good with children and is awkward and fumbling with animals. He’s never been around a lot of kids, but… I don’t know. I think seeing children hurts him, a lot of the time. The happier they are, the more Theo wants to escape. With animals… he doesn’t know how to touch them or even how to approach. Matthias’s cat, Odious, is very friendly and makes Theo freeze up when she comes over to lay in his lap. It takes him months to get used to her. He doesn’t hate either of them to be clear. Like, he’s not a total weirdo, he just… he doesn’t know how to act around them.

46. Does your oc lie a lot, or is the truth very important to them? What is their reaction to other people lying to them?

Theo isn’t a very good liar but he has a lot that he has to keep secret… because of this, he’s learned how to skirt around the truth and evades questions that poke and prod with ease. However, I think despite how frequently he tells half-truths, he’s actually someone who doesn’t like lying. He’s used to being told lies, though. He’s been lied to rather often and even though he can see through it effortlessly now that he’s had so many years to catch on to the signs, it still hurts him. He doesn’t outwardly show that he knows the truth, but internally it tears him up.

47. How much of a prankster is your oc? Are their pranks truly evil, or more harmless, positive ones?

Theo doesn’t like pranks. He doesn’t like startling people and doesn’t find it humorous. He doesn’t ever want to make anyone feel fear. He knows what that’s like all too well.

48. What are your oc’s nervous tics? Are they aware of them? Do they attempt to hide them?

I was going to say Theo has no nervous tics, but I suppose the way he lashes out is a kind of nervous tic. Physically speaking, though, Theo shows next to no signs of distress. He isn’t someone who fidgets ever, though he does still get the urge to at times. If he ever slips up and moves a hand clumsily in the air or shifts uncomfortably, he’ll catch himself and freeze, righting himself without drawing any more attention to himself. 

Theo is still skittish, though. Like, he won’t shift around or bounce a leg, but he startles easily. Call his name and he jumps, make a loud noise and he jumps, say something unexpectedly and he jumps. He’s never been able to hide that.

49. What would be the perfect gift for your oc? What would be their reaction to receiving it?

If you gave Theo a bell his cheeks would get all pink and he wouldn’t be able to look away from it… he’d hold it very gently in his hands, not wanting to drop it. He’d say thank you all soft and quiet, then place it with the rest of his collection. He’d smile to himself, but he wouldn’t smile at you. 

I also think bandaging Theo up would feel like a gift to him. No one’s ever taken care of him like that before.

50. How attentive is your oc? How perceptive are they? How easily do they get distracted?

Theo’s incredibly perceptive and when he’s focused on one thing it’s almost impossible to pull his attention away from it. He’s pretty discipled, honestly, because of all the studying and the focus he’s needed to keep up with it. I think Matthias is the only person who can distract Theo… the ways in which he goes about doing that are best left to the imagination. Have fun.

51. If your oc was to receive an award for something, what would it most likely be for? Have they received any awards in the past?

Theo’s won many different kinds of academic awards throughout school. Honestly… I don’t know any specific awards I’d give him…

52. In what ways does your oc cope with anger? How easily angered are they? Do they lash out?

Theo only lashes out when he’s scared, not from anger. Anger is an emotion that frightens Theo, that colors his cheeks with shame. He’s been on the receiving end of anger most of his life, so to feel it himself is… horrifying. I think Theo believes anger forces your hand, that it’s always this uncontrollable act of violence no matter what. He represses his anger frantically, desperate not to frighten anyone, not to hurt. He’s very hard to make angry and there’s next to nothing someone could do to make him act on his anger, even if it would be justified. He gets annoyed, he huffs, he rolls his eyes, he insults, but he never raises his voice, he never throws his fist, he never threatens. 

53. If your oc was to host a podcast or TV show, what would it be about? Would your oc actually be good at it? What sorts of guests would appear?

Theo would rather watch paint dry than host any kind of show, let’s be clear. However, I think he has a very good podcast voice. I can imagine him doing a podcast where he reads to you until you fall asleep. No guests, just his voice.

54. How would you describe your oc’s voice to sound like? Do you have any voice claims for them?

Theo is soft-spoken. His voice is unassuming and haunting… you close your eyes to listen and feel the chills running up your arms. He pronounces his words almost delicately, giving an alluring color to his voice. Like a mirage in the desert, you want to drink it in, to hold it in your own mouth just to taste it for a while. When Theo speaks, you get the impression that he’s not all there, something disengaged in his tone. It drives people to take a step closer, wanting to hear more of it, to be worthy of his full attention. It’s a voice you could listen to every day and still find yourself drawing a blank when trying to imagine the avatar behind it.

No voice claims.

55. How sensitive to loud sound is your oc? Do they prefer constant high background noise, low background noise, or complete silence?

Theo is very jumpy around loud noises. If he isn’t prepared for it (like knowingly heading into a club where the music is going to be booming) he’ll flinch and turn his eyes to the ground quickly, shaking out his hands before going statue-still again. Theo prefers complete silence or quiet background noises like a fan or soft, melodious music.

56. What is your oc’s favorite color? If you had to choose one color to represent your oc, what would it be and why?

Theo’s favorite color is probably some shade of red. And I think a fiery orange represents Theo well. Theo reminds me a lot of fire… he’s someone who keeps standing still while smoke is pouring out of his ears, burning quietly in the middle of an abandoned room.

57. How good is your oc’s sight? Do they wear glasses? Do they need glasses? Do they have some form of night vision?

Theo has perfect eyesight.

58. How would you describe your oc’s appearance to someone who’s looking for them? What features would be most identifiable?

I’d probably start waxing poetic about him, honestly. I’d just be giving way too much detail… like:

Theo’s features are delicate and soft-edged. He’s slender with narrow shoulders and of average height. His skin is light brown with a dark smattering of moles all over. His face is round and ruddy cheeked. His brows are straight and dark. His eyes are a light golden brown, sometimes mistaken for hazel, with puffy bags underneath that give a youthful yet tired appearance. His nose is button shaped with a straight bridge. His lips are plump and full. His hair is dark brown and tumbles down to his collarbone in thick waves. His gaze is cool, assessing. He carries such an air of hurt around him that your heart aches when you see him. You could fall in love with him easily.

I think whoever I’m giving instructions to would forget half of what I’d said and only remember the part where I mentioned his long hair. And… hm… I’d say his ruddy cheeks are his most identifiable feature for sure.

59. How good at cooking is your oc? What can they cook/what is their favorite thing to cook?

I think Theo is very bad at taking care of himself, so he actually forgets to eat frequently now that he’s living on his own for college. Regardless… I think he’s decent at cooking. Despite his family having enough money that they easily could’ve hired help around their home, they didn’t. This means that Theo had to fend for himself at a pretty young age. He knows how to cook pretty basic food, but the way he cooks is… messy. He doesn’t have a favorite thing to cook.

60. How good is your oc at keeping track of time? Are they always late, always early, or always right on time?

Hm… I think Theo actually loses track of time a lot, courtesy of his drug use and memory problems, so he has a handful of recurring alarms set on his phone. He’s always on time because of that. He’d feel sick if he were ever late to something he was required to be at, actually… especially if it was a family event.

61. Is your oc more quick-thinking, or do they take longer to figure things out?

Theo catches on quickly. He’s incredibly perceptive and sees what others cannot with ease. Early on in Theo’s childhood he had to learn how to pick up on subtleties in expressions, on double meanings to words, on tone, on gestures… he had to pick everything apart to protect himself, and as he grew that skill of his did as well and aided him in seeing patterns. He’s able to find answers faster than most other people just from deduction.

62. How quick is your oc? Do they have faster or slower reflexes? What things are they quickest at?

Perhaps it’s due to his good eyesight or his peerless perception, but Theo’s reflexes are incredibly fast. He’s good at running, too, and is lightning quick on his feet. I think he’d have done amazingly in track and field if he ever went for it in school. He's really good at soccer for this reason. Despite his stamina being pretty average, Theo’s the kind of person who will push himself harder and harder even when his body’s telling him to pull back. If he dedicated real time to it, I think he could train for a couple of years and come back playing better than anyone.

63. How self-disciplined is your oc? Do they often think before they act, or the other way around?

Theo always thinks things over first and isn’t one for snap decisions. In fact, I’d say Theo actually makes himself sick from how much thinking he’s always doing. One of the many reasons Theo uses drugs is because of how effective they are at shutting off his brain. He’s inundated by the responsibilities of his life—of which he feels he has no control over—and loses whenever he tries outrunning the thoughts that swirl around in his head. Drugs are the easiest way he’s found to get it all to just… stop.

Theo is also very serious about his education, and, in that way, he’s admirably self-disciplined. 

64. Which of the seven deadly sins does your oc fall under most? What about the seven heavenly virtues?

Hm… picking a sin for Theo is surprisingly hard. I think Theo’s strongest sin is… maybe envy? Definitely not gluttony or greed, though, that’s for sure.

As for the heavenly virtues, I think Theo best exemplifies fortitude, followed by prudence and temperance.

65. If you were to give your oc a new superpower, what would you choose and why? If *they* were to be able to choose, what would it be and why?

I think I’d want to give Theo something he could use to protect himself and that would offer him a sense of comfort. Maybe just give him invulnerability outright or something subtler that would make it easy for him to escape situations he doesn’t want to be in. Flight? Invisibility? 

As for Theo, I think he’d want something repellant. A forcefield of some kind…?

66. What sort of advice would people go to your oc for? What sort of advice is your oc actually good at giving?

Theo isn’t good at giving advice and would shake his head at being asked.

67. How many people does your oc prefer to be around? A crowd, a few friends, or all on their own?

Theo is interesting in that he’s a loner but he also goes out of his way to enter clubs and join throngs of people in the ebb and flow of dance, blending in with them in the dark. I think Theo is actually lonely at his core and ultimately is unhappy being so solitary—a truth he neither acknowledges to himself nor to others. A small group of people who he trusts and loves would soothe him best.

68. What sorts of things would cheer your oc up when they’re down? Is your oc sad often, or is it more rare?

Calling Theo sad would be an understatement. Theo’s full of woe and has little in his life that brings him joy. I think he’s very used to the way he feels but… I do think simple things would make him smile. Something as easy as saying that he’s been missed would do the trick. Just… the implication that he’s been thought of and isn’t easily forgotten… yeah.

69. How energetic is your oc? Are they constantly tired, or constantly bouncing off the walls?

Theo has the weight of the world on his shoulders and is operating on just a few hours of sleep most days, so he’s pretty much low energy up until the moment he’s free of his responsibilities and can let loose. You can see him start to come alive when he’s partying, even while sober—his cheeks flush, his eyes light up, and his body moves fluidly. It’s only when he’s on uppers that he actually starts bouncing off the walls.

70. What about your oc’s lifestyle would they change if they had the ability? Why?

I don’t think Theo would even know where to begin… 

71. What is your oc’s go-to for offense? What weapon, what style of fighting? Or are words more their weapon of choice?

I don’t actually think Theo has any offensive preferences, because he’s not really a fighter. That human instinct to fight back was trained out of him very young… so. Yeah. He does have a scathing way of speaking that can definitely be used to hurt, though.

72. What is your oc’s ideal environment like? Urban or natural? Fancy or rustic? What’s the weather like?

Theo wants to be away from it all. He wants to be unreachable. The further away he is from other people, the better. So… somewhere where there’s more nature than there are buildings. As for the weather… hm… Theo prefers cool weather as he likes bundling up, but he doesn’t want to be stuck in the snow all the time. A nice, mild climate.

73. If your oc were to be arrested, what would it most likely be for? Is it justified? Have they actually been arrested before?

Well… I think I’m going to have to say the drug use is probably what’d do him in. Is it justified…? Well, he does use drugs… but I personally don’t think drugs should be criminalized and instead believe in harm reduction.

74. How would your oc act when drunk? What about when really, really tired?

Theo actually doesn’t get drunk very often as he doesn’t really like the taste of alcohol and would rather just use drugs. When he does drink enough to get intoxicated, I think the effect is pretty similar to how he is when he’s on milder drugs. Drunk Theo is unrestrained in how he moves, letting himself be as unrefined as he couldn’t be as a child. He waves his hands around and bounces his legs to let out some energy. He throws his head back when he’s feeling good without fear of being told to mind his manners. His inhibitions are all but nonexistent and he speaks whatever thoughts come to mind. All of those walls he’s built up around himself come tumbling down and he forgets why he was ever afraid to exist as he is in the first place.

Theo becomes sluggish and irritable (...more irritable than he normally is, anyway) when he’s stayed up for far too long. He has little time for anyone else and is focused solely on whatever it is that’s been keeping him up. He gets dizzy when he’s lacking sleep and has a hard time staying on task, though. He doesn’t normally let himself get this tired, but it does happen. He has a lot of trouble getting himself to fall asleep after he reaches this point. Whenever Matthias sees Theo like this, he’ll walk Theo to the bath even as Theo huffs and complains testily. He’ll wait for the tub to fill up while he brushes out Theo’s hair and kisses down his neck, speaking softly to Theo all the while. He’ll get Theo in the water and either slide in behind him or sit just outside the bath. He’ll wash Theo’s hair and gently scrub his body, unbothered when Theo’s head falls back onto his shoulder or against his chest, soaking through his shirt. Theo normally becomes fully pliant by the time Matthias is pulling him out of the water, staying quiet as Matthias dries him off, dresses him, and lays him down in the bed. Matthias will only be away for a moment to grab a book before coming back to hold Theo, blocking the door from Theo’s sight. Theo sleeps like a baby after all of that and Matthias lays awake holding him until noon.

75. What would your oc’s dream home be like? How big would it be? What sorts of rooms would be in it? Where would it be located?

Truthfully, Theo doesn’t like big open spaces. I think there’s a loneliness to big houses that unsettles him. He could never feel comfortable somewhere with too many doors, either… too many shadowy corners, not enough assurance that someone couldn’t be hiding in them. So Theo would rather live somewhere smaller, with just the right amount of space for him and all of his things. Honestly, his apartment is pretty perfect for him already.

76. What is/was your oc’s relationship with their family like? Was it happy, tense, or abusive? What living family does your oc currently have, if any?

Theo’s relationship with his parents has always been one of control. Theo doesn’t speak unless spoken to and falls in line at their every word. His father has plans for Theo to join him in his business and his mother begrudgingly allows it, though she would have rather had him following in her footsteps. Theo’s parents see him as a tool… of which they’ve had to beat into proper shape. Theo grew up under the tender care of his childhood au pair while his parents focused on their careers and their status, and it was only when Theo became old enough that he could take care of himself that they sent away his au pair and decided it was their turn to step in. He’d experienced abuse at the hands of his parents before, but his au pair had shielded him from much more than he was ever even aware of. When his parents would leave him to his own devices he found solace in isolation. His mid-teens were when things got worse for him, but his parents weren’t as physical with him past that as he’d learned to behave how they wanted. Now as an adult he’s no longer under their roof but still comes when they call on him. He’s desperate for their affection and approval, of which he never sees.

77. Does your oc like to wear any particular accessories? Hats, jewelry, scarves, etc.?

Theo likes to wear jewelry. He always has a pair of earrings on and will occasionally throw on a necklace. He doesn’t have any particular set he prefers to wear, but he does go for gold more than silver. 

78. How socially skilled is your oc? Are they good at understanding social cues? How charismatic are they?

Theo’s actually very charismatic without trying to be and when he does intentionally turn on the charm (mostly when his parents are requiring him to be at their little soirées) he becomes irresistible. Being a moth caught in his light is… blissful. He picks up on social cues without breaking a sweat and is very good at playing along when he needs to.

But, on a personal level, Theo lacks a social life. He has the people he associates with at parties, but he doesn’t view them as his friends (even though they are…) and doesn’t communicate with them outside of the clubs they go to (even though they try to keep in contact with him). When he doesn’t have to play pretend for his parents, he’s actually pretty hard to get along with and most people resort to watching him from afar. He’s still charming, mind you, but he’s not… um, nice, exactly.

79. For what reason would your oc turn into a villain? And if they’re already a villain, vice-versa?

Honestly… Theo’s been put through a lot and he’s still good at his core, so I can’t imagine there’s anything that could turn him into a villain… that’s just not who he is.

80. What is your oc’s handwriting like? How easy is it to read? Can they write/read cursive?

Theo’s handwriting is even and strong. He doesn’t waste time by adding any extravagant details and has a print style that is consistent from letter to letter. He writes in print almost exclusively, but he does use cursive when he’s writing more formal letters. His cursive is similar to his print in that it’s written with a heavy hand and each stroke is dark and thick.  

81. How good is your oc at drawing? What is their preferred art medium, and what is their artstyle like?

Theo’s never really sat down to draw before… or, at least, not since he was a child. Nevertheless, I do think he’d be good at it if he took the time to practice for a year or two. Theo puts his all into studying, so I imagine he’d work tirelessly at it. He’d do those one-drawing-a-day challenges and he’d push himself to think outside of the box. His art would be incredibly creative… I wish he’d allow himself that.

82. What would be your oc’s ultimate dream vacation? Where would they go? Who would they take with them? What would they do?

Theo doesn’t have an “ultimate dream vacation” in his back pocket… like, there’s nothing he fantasizes about. He can’t even think of a concrete destination that he’d want to go for a vacation. He would just get stressed trying to think of something and then he’d freak out about how far behind it’d put him academically… it’d ripple out to the rest of his responsibilities and he’d be lost. He can’t let that happen.

83. What is your oc’s favorite trait about themselves? What about their least liked? What would others like and dislike the most about your oc?

I’ve been thinking this over a lot, because, y’know, Theo really doesn’t like himself. He has a serious amount of self-loathing pulling him down, so it’s hard really coming up with anything he likes about himself. But I think Theo might actually like how perceptive he is, because it’s what keeps him safe. I’m not saying it’s his favorite thing, because that implies he’s got other traits he really likes and that’s really not the case. As for his least liked trait, I think Theo thinks his desires are sticky and pathetic and horrible.

In general, I think most people find Theo’s magnetism to be, well, very alluring. The combination of the way Theo carries himself and speaks has an appeal that draws people in. He’s interesting. At times he’s all sharp edges and closed off whereas other times he’s all blurry and open. As for what people dislike about him, it’s most likely how dismissive he is when you get off on the wrong foot with him.

Matthias in particular loves how intelligent and wry Theo is… and he actually likes how dismissive Theo can be with people. Really, he just likes everything.

84. Is your oc more masculine, feminine, androgynous, or something else entirely?

I think Theo’s pretty masculine, though he does wear some androgynous clothing on occasion.

85. What would history remember your oc for? How would they become famous? Or are they the sort that would really only be appreciated long after their death?

In the Echthroi universe, Theo isn’t someone who seeks the spotlight. However, that’s certainly something his parents want for him… hm. I think he’s well known in the upper echelons of his parents’ circle for his intelligence, his manners, and his arresting appearance. I think he’s also famous on his campus… I think a lot of people would like to covet Theo. I don’t think Theo would ever become proper famous, though… like, I have a really hard time even conceptualizing fame for him, just like I have a hard time seeing that for Matthias.

86. What would someone assume about your oc based on their appearance? Would those assumptions be correct?

Hm… on appearance alone, I think Theo gives off a sort of cool elegance. I think he seems doleful and… honestly, a little intimidating. He’s gorgeous, so… you have to be very confident to approach him. Most people would assume he’s dismissive and stuck-up… that he’s quiet… flirtatious… 

I think he definitely does give the cold shoulder a lot of the time and he’s not very talkative, so those would be true. He’s not stuck-up, though… he does keep himself at a distance, but it’s not from some kind of arrogance or self-importance, but rather because he’s desperate to keep himself safe. He’s also only flirty when he’s intoxicated and it’s more reactive than pursuant.

87. What are some of your oc’s physical weak spots? What about emotional/moral ones?

Theo is weak to any kind of affection that’s all soft and sweet. He’s weak to being kissed, to being bitten, to fingers grazing behind his knees, to any kind of touch along his inner thighs. His skin gets sensitive when he’s touched and touched and touched. Emotionally, he’s weak to anger or violence. Morally, he’s weak to his own behaviors and can be unthinkingly cruel or hurtful without just cause. He’s weak to his parents.

88. Does your oc hold grudges? For how long? Does your oc have any rivals?

Theo will hold a grudge until his very last breath. He is very judgmental and forms all these little notions about people before they’ve even spoken a word to him… and then that influences every interaction they have with him afterward. So, you can be nice to Theo, but if he makes a snap judgment about you that’s unfavorable, then he’s going to blow you off. Is he wrong in the judgments he makes? Well… okay, so, not really? Theo is very good at reading people and there are very few times he’s wrong.

That said, Theo's grudges are only the petty, meaningless kind. When it comes to the people who really, truly deserve it, Theo is frustratingly forgiving. Or, not even forgiving, exactly, but rather... he just doesn't acknowledge the real wrongs that've been done to him.

89. What does your oc’s laugh sound like? How often do they laugh? Are they easily amused?

Oh, an angel’s choir. No, I’m kidding… kind of.

Theo’s laugh is very hard to come by because he doesn’t have very much to laugh about. He doesn’t even smile—like, really, truly smile—often. Theo’s pretty much stressed out and exhausted at all times. The only time he’s loosened up is when he’s using drugs to numb everything.

When Theo’s using, he smiles all lopsided and watery, but there’s no light behind his eyes. He’s put together all wrong, you know? He doesn’t really laugh, but he makes these quiet huffing noises when something’s funny to him, often a private joke he’s told himself in his own head.

When he’s sober and he laughs… it’s kind of devastating. The sound of his laugh is similar to his voice, all light and captivating, but there’s this quality to it… this unbridled feeling that Theo almost never shows… that catches everyone off guard. He laughs almost like a child, gasping with it and full-bodied. In that same way, Theo’s happiness and joy is clumsy and innocent. There’s no artifice to it, no rehearsed grace, nothing held back… he laughs until there’s tears in his eyes… and then he just starts crying.

90. Does your oc have any objects they could never give up? Why is it so important to them? Do they have any family heirlooms?

Theo’s deeply attached to his things so there’s a lot that he wouldn’t want to give up. If I had to pick just one object… hm… I think it’s a tie between his memory journal and the perfume his mother gave him when he was a teenager. His memory journal is what’s keeping him together at this point and he relies on it a lot. As for the perfume, it was a gift from his mother after he was accepted into Yale. He’d never be able to part with it (despite it not being to his taste) because it’s the only gift she’s ever given him. 

He’s not in possession of any family heirlooms, but if he were then he’d worry himself sick over them. He’d be terrified of something happening to them and being responsible for it. God… he’d be a mess.

91. What is your oc’s typical posture like? Do they slouch, or stand straight? How much space do they usually take up, both physically and figuratively?

Theo has a respectable upright posture and doesn’t slouch at all. If he’s around his family he’ll stand rigidly with his hands behind his back, holding onto one of his wrists as he listens to the conversations around him. On his own, he tries to keep his hands down at his sides but often finds himself moving to cross his arms over his chest. He doesn’t take up much space physically and keeps himself rather contained, but figuratively speaking… well… Theo has a compelling presence and in that way he’s felt all around the room.

92. What trait does your oc appreciate or admire the most in others? Why?

I think Theo admires when people can just… exist with ease. That freedom he sees in others makes him feel envious and he wishes he had that for himself.

93. What is your oc’s preferred learning style? Observation, hands-on, instruction? Do they take notes or memorize?

Theo prefers to learn via instruction and direction. He wants to be able to read each step carefully and then double back when he needs to. He takes a ton of notes as he uses repetition to help him learn, so oftentimes he’ll go back over his own notes and write them out again.

94. Does your oc rely more on a logical or emotional mindset? What situations would this be the opposite?

I’d say Theo’s more on the logical side than the emotional side… but the way in which he uses logic does stem from an emotional place, if that makes sense? Deep down Theo is scared and just wants to keep himself safe, so he leans on logic more than emotions as he feels that emotions make him weak. 

I think Theo’s walls come down in the face of genuine love and affection.

95. How is your oc about keeping someone else’s secret? Are they the gossiping type, or do they hold true on their promise to keep things quiet?

Theo’s someone who has a lot of secrets, so he’s very good at keeping them. I think he’d never want to break someone’s trust by gossiping. I mean, he also doesn't really have anyone he’d gossip to in the first place… still. He’d keep it to himself no matter what.

96. Describe your oc in three words. What three words would they use to describe themselves?

Oh, well… in order to describe him to others, I’d say Theo is reticent, touchy, and hungry at his core for something he hasn’t yet allowed himself to name (this isn’t one word, but you get it).

Theo has an unstable sense of self and has a very hard time understanding who he is, so when asked to describe himself he wouldn’t know what to say. Questions like this put him under a lot of stress… I think he’d dissociate just from being asked to try.

97. How old is your oc physically? How old are they in mental maturity? When are they most mature, and when are they the least?

Theo is in his early twenties (I don’t have an exact estimation for him, but somewhere between 21 at minimum and 24 at maximum). Mentally… there’s a lot of conflict and inconsistency there (intentionally done!). I’d say Theo is incredibly independent but he’s also financially reliant and emotionally dependent on his parents. He had to grow up at a very young age and in that sense he’s mature, but he also has a lot of childhood trauma and it’s definitely stunted him in some ways. I think Theo has… a very interesting mentality. He’s all over the place and he’s constantly at odds with his own self. There’s a lot going on with him at any given time. His mind is always racing. 

98. Is your oc the type to have a lot of fairly good friends, have a small group of close friends, have one or two best friends, or have no friends at all? Who are they closest to?

Theo refuses to let people get close to him and believes himself to be unworthy of even platonic love, so no… he doesn’t have any friends. Or, rather, Theo doesn’t have anyone he thinks are his friends. In actuality, Theo has four friends that he’s picked up from his time clubbing. He doesn’t see them unless they’re in a party setting, so that might be why Theo views them as being mere acquaintances and nothing more… he puts his nightlife into a little box and tucks that box away in his mind. 

99. What is your oc’s morning routine usually like? What do they eat for breakfast (if they have breakfast)? What time do they usually get up in the morning?

Theo wakes up and is kind of out of it for a few minutes. He lays in the bed and has to take stock of where he is first, because some mornings he finds himself in someone else’s bed. If he’s at someone else’s place, he’s dressed and out of there in under five minutes without so much as a goodbye. If he’s in his own home, he lays in bed for a while, staring without really seeing whatever’s in front of him. He gives himself those few minutes of peace and then he’s sluggishly pulling himself out of bed and getting ready for whatever’s on his schedule. He’s normally up by 7AM and doesn’t eat breakfast.

100. Does your character ever swear? How often? How vulgar is their swearing?

Theo swears occasionally but it’s not, like, in every sentence. He’s not particularly vulgar and instead just says the standard everyday swears. I think he says damn it under his breath more than anything.

[beanfic]

Summertime Sadness - Ch. 3

Word count: 1990

Warnings: Talk of porn, alcohol, underage drug usage and language

Author’s note: I hope you enjoy this chapter! It made me giggle when rereading it! Also, music played a huge role when writing this series so I am going to do song suggestions to listen to while reading the chapter! At the very end of the series I am going to make a huge playlist of all the songs but I don’t want to accidentally spoil anything with a song...if that is even possible. Oh well, enjoy chapter 3 :)

Song suggestion: Red Red Wine by UB40 & LDN by Lily Allen

You flickered your eyes open to see your little sister staring at you. The light in the room immediately killed your head, and you slammed a pillow on top of your face groaning into it.

“I heard you got drunk, and vomited all over Johnny.”

“Yep, that all happened. God my head is fucking killing me.”

“You’re not supposed to say fuck in front of me.”

“You just said it though, Bri.” You peeked underneath your pillow and she was still staring at you.

“Did you have your first kiss? Did you have sex?” she asked eagerly.

“Bri, if I had sex I wouldn’t be home right now.”

“Okay, so no sex. Did you kiss anyone?”

“Sort of,” you rubbed your eyes and sat up. “We played spin the bottle and I had to kiss this really attractive guy, but it was just a peck.”

“There we go! One day you will finally tongue dance with someone, don’t worry.”

“Tongue dancing? That sounds disgusting.” You threw your sheets off of you and started to get up.

“I can’t believe you got drunk though, I want to drink.”

“No. No you don’t. It sucks.” You held your head again as a sharp pain shot through it.

“Mom and Dad are really mad.”

“I know, I’m grounded.”

“Why did you come home then? If I were you I would have just stayed at Mariah’s.” She had a point, but you knew that Johnny also told you to call him in case you wanted to go home.

“I hate that you have more street smarts than me.”

She shrugged, “What can I say.”

Bri finally left your room, and you started to get dress. You knew you had to go downstairs and confront your parents sooner or later.

On your way downstairs you ran into Johnny. He just glared at you, and then started to chuckle to himself as he headed back to his room.

“Goodmorning,” you mumbled to your mom who was sitting in her chair drinking a cup of coffee.

“How are you feeling?” She looked up from the book she was reading and started to analyze you.

“I’m fine,” you lied. The last thing you were going to do was explain to her that you were severely hungover. “How long am I grounded for?”

“I talked to your dad and we decided to not ground you, but you are going to have a curfew from now on. Be home by 11 every night.”

“11? Mom it’s summer! That’s so early.”

“Would you rather be grounded and not able to do anything?”

“No. Thank you for not grounding me.”

“No problem. Next time don’t drink while you’re underage.”

You wanted to argue with her and tell her how Johnny use to drink, and he has smoked pot, but it was no use to start another fight. You were happy that you weren’t grounded.

You ate your breakfast silently, and a text from Mariah got your attention.

Want 2 go 2 the carnival w/ me 2night?

“Hey mom, Mariah invited me to go to the carnival with her tonight. Can I go? I’ll be home by 11, I promise.”

“As long as you don’t break any more rules.”

“I won’t.”

You texted mariah back.

Yes! That sounds fun, can u pick me up?

You finished your breakfast and headed upstairs to take a shower. It was already around noon since you slept in so much. Your shower was quick, and you braided your hair instead of letting it air dry.

You still had a few couple hours before Mariah was going to pick you up so you decided to go write some poetry. You had been writing poetry for the past four years. It was like journaling for you, it helped you fight those internal battles.

You sat on your bed and grabbed your poetry notebook, which was a leather book, and grabbed a red ballpoint pen.

A kiss. Soft & Sweet.

You looked out your window for inspiration but none was really coming to you. You looked down at what you had wrote, and laughed to yourself. It was four words but pretty much summed up last night.

You wished that you had at least got his number. You knew you could probably ask Tyler for it, but you didn’t to be that girl.

You decided to head over to Jonny’s room and talk to him for a little. He always made you feel better when you were down.

His door was closed but you didn’t knock, instead you shoved the door open. He was sitting at his desk, and up on his computer screen was porn.

“Do you ever fucking knock?” He screamed as he quickly exited out of the tab and pulled up his pants.

“You shouldn’t watch porn, that’s gross.”

“You should learn how to knock. What do you want?”

“Sorry was I busy interrupting something? Should I leave?”

“Stop being annoying.”

You laughed at his annoyance, and threw yourself on his bed.

“I’m bored and I wish I got this guys number from last night.” You flipped through a magazine that he had on his nightstand. It was about cars so you didn’t really understand it.

“Who’s the guy?”

“His name was Josh, but I didn’t get his last name. He’s friends with Tyler.”

“Tyler Joseph? Like Mariah's boy toy?”

“Yep, that Tyler.”

“It’s probably Josh Dun. I know him from high school, he’s a total douchebag though.”

You didn’t want to believe your brother, he probably was thinking of another Josh. Josh was a pretty common name.

“Do you want to play Mario Kart with me?” you asked him so you could keep your mind off of last night. Your brother agreed, and you spent the next hour or so beating your brother at the game.

“How are you so good at this game?” he asked you. You shrugged.

“I’m going to go get ready for the carnival, Mariah will be here soon.” You headed back to your room to figure out what to wear.

You thumbed through your closet until you decided on a pair of skinny jeans and a black tank top with a dark green cardigan. You took your hair out of your braid so it was now wavy. You applied some mascara and you called it good.

You got a text from Mariah signaling that she was here so you headed downstairs.

“Mariah’s here, I’ll be home before 11!” you kissed your mom on the way out. You could hear her yelling something behind you but you decided to ignore her.

“Hey girl!” Mariah said as you opened the door and got in.

“How are you feeling?” you asked.

“I felt horrible this morning,” she laughed. “How about you?”

“I had the worst headache ever.” You laughed as well.

You both jammed out to music all the way to the carnival. You found parking and got out. It was about a five minute walk from the parking lot to the carnival grounds. It was dirty and you instantly regretted wearing white shoes.

“I see Becca and Grace!” Mariah said, pointing ahead. You saw your two friends standing there three other guys.

“Hey Becca! Hey Grace!” you hugged each one.

“Hey Y/N, this is Theo, and this is his boyfriend Dylan!”

“Hey nice to meet you two!” you shook their hands.

“And this is Mike, he’s Dylan’s cousin!”

“Hey Mike, I’m Y/N!” you shook his hand.

“I found a good corner to go smoke, let’s go!” Theo said, grabbing Dylan’s hand and walking away. Becca, Grace and Mike followed them but you grabbed Mariah’s hand.

“I didn’t know we were smoking.”

“I didn’t know either, but who cares?”

You both met up with them in this corner behind a bathroom building. Theo pulls out a small glass pipe that was translucent rainbow. He took out a little grinder with marijuana in it. He filled the hole, and took out a lighter that was also rainbow colored. He lit it and took a hit.

You really hated the smell of weed so you decided to go on a walk. You told Mariah you were going to be right back, and you headed around the corner towards the games.

You spotted one of those games where you threw balls at pins. You gave the attendant a dollar bill, and he handed you four balls. The first one you threw missed completely, and the second one barely grazed by one of the pins. You wounded up your arm, getting ready to throw the third ball before you were startled by a voice.

“I think you’re supposed to hit the pins.”

You turned around to see Josh, from the party last night, smiling at you. He was wearing a red shirt with black ripped jeans again.

“Oh hey! If you think you could do better then be my guest,” you handed him the last two balls.

“Watch this,” he gave you a little wink making your stomach start fluttering again. You watched him throw both balls hitting two pins down. You were shocked.

“How did you do that?”

“I’m a natural! Plus I’m a drummer so I have lots of arm strength,” he lifted his arm up to flex, making you smile like a dummy.

The attendant handed Josh a little beanie baby for knocking two pins down. It was a little bear wearing a red dress.

“Here you go,” he handed you the little bear.

“For me?”

“For you!”

“Why thank you!” You took it and started to look at it, trying to not smile like an idiot.

“Want to go on a walk and talk?” Josh asked and you nodded.

“What’s your full name?”

“Joshua William Dun.”

Shit. Johnny did know him.

“Dun? That’s a cool last name.”

“What’s your full name?”

“Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N.”

“Y/L/N?”

“Yep!”

“Do you have a brother named Johnny?”

“Yeah, I do!” you said nervously. What if he didn't like him. You didn’t want your brother being a reason you and this handsome man don’t start talking.

“Do you want to go on a ride?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I get sick easily,” you lied. You hated rides, you were especially terrified of carnival rides.

“Oh c’mon, I’ll hold you so you feel safe.”

Wow. He was smooth, you had to admit.

“Okay, Dun.”

“Okay, Y/L/N.” He smiled at you, making you smile in return. He walked you over to this ride that goes really fast and round. Your heart started to race as you stood in line.

“Hey Josh, can I ask a question?” you broke the silence.

“Go for it.”

“How old are you?”

He laughed, “I’m 22, almost 23.”

“Wow, I’m only 18, but my 19th birthday is in September.”

“You look old for your age,” he looked at you up and down making you blush.

“I get that a lot.”

It was your guys turn to go on the ride, and your hands were sweating. You followed Josh to a seat of two. You buckled your seat belt, triple checking it was on right.

The ride was intense, but it didn’t last that long. You tried not to scream, but when you saw Josh letting out tiny screams you decided to do it too. He kept on looking at you during the ride, even though you kept your eyes closed most of the time.

When the ride was over, you could barely walk. Your head was rushing and your breathing was short.

“That was intense,” you whispered.

“Yeah, it was,” he smiled at you again. “Hey, can I get your number?”

“Yeah!” you took your phone out and handed it to him. He put his number in and named his contact ‘Dun’.

“You know, Y/L/N, you’re gorgeous when you’re nervous,” he reached over and touched your shoulder, taking your breath away.

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[feminarrie]

under the same moon - three

a/n: sorry for the wait, loves! i’ve been in a lot of pain the last week, but finally managed to finish chapter three! it’s a little over 2.2k and a whole lot of soft niall! a big big big thank you to @fireawaynjh for beta reading this chapter! 

want to be added to the taglist? send me an ask!

Niall sighs as he gets out of bed, chest heavy and eyes still bleary with sleep. He’d gotten almost a full eight hours last night, but his lack of a consistent sleeping schedule never allowed him a day without some sort of fatigue. And it’s aggravated slightly by Hanna’s presence in his life, but he’d rather lose sleep talking to her than miss out on the small glimpses into her life back home.

He widens his eyes in an effort to wake himself up more, prolonging his blinks to clear whatever blurs his vision. It doesn’t help much, but he hasn’t got time to sit around. He’s got a six hour shift at the record store just a block away from his flat. Plus one of Liam’s friends, Zayn, had asked if Niall would mind recording some of his music. Which, of course, Niall has agreed to when Zayn promised to pay him a hundred quid.

Fingers comb through the tangled mess atop his head, leaving some strands sticking straight up and others flopping down on his forehead. He supposes that a shower was likely a good idea, even if it meant skimping out on a healthy breakfast in favor of an overpriced scone and coffee from Starbucks.

Niall gets up to rummage in the black chest of drawers, finding a pair of black Calvin Klein’s and wandering off into the single bathroom in the flat. He’s grateful that Liam’s likely still sleeping in because he’s genuinely never met somebody that takes so long in the bathroom just to come out looking the exact same.

(Which also frustrated Niall because Liam was already fit. He could get just about any girl as soon as he steps out on the street. So, it really isn’t fair that he makes the water run cold before Niall’s had the chance to shower).

After he’s turned the shower on and while he is waiting for it to heat up to an appropriate temperature, Niall types out a quick good morning text to Hanna.

Good morning, love. Getting ready for work, but hopefully I’ll be out before you’re even awake. Hope your day starts off well!

After he’s pressed send, Niall scrolls through some of his curated Spotify playlists. He settles on one that is a compilation of his most listened to titles and turs it up to full volume. Take It Easy by The Eagles echoes of the white walls of the bathroom. Niall hums along with it as he steps into the shower. Before long, though, his voice is carrying over the sounds of Glenn Frey’s own vocals.

Niall sings his way through two more songs on the playlist before he’s stepping out of the shower. Brunette locks are plastered to his forehead and beads of water travel down the bridge of his nose only to drip to his lower lip. He licks the droplet away as he reaches for the grey towel that’s neatly hung over the metal rod of a towel rack. He uses it to quickly dry off his hair, leaving it in loose curls and sticking up in different directions. His body follows next where he starts from his feet and then all the way to his broad back before he steps outside of the porcelain tub to tug on his boxer briefs.

As he unlocks the door to exit, Niall grabs his phone from the shelf that’s hung exactly in the middle of the two towel racks beneath it. He pauses Jackie and Wilson by Hozier because he’s sure that Liam wouldn’t appreciate the blaring music as Niall makes the trek back to his room.

He doesn’t expect Hanna’s name to pop up on his screen, though. It’s only a quarter past seven in the morning, so he had expected Hanna to be tucked into bed for the night. Especially after she had groaned about needing to get back into a decent sleep schedule before classes resumed.

Sonam and Tyler are back!!! We’re out for Taco Tuesday and dancing!

Wish you could party with us n not have to go to work. ): ): ):

Niall sends a message that tells her that he would much rather be out with them than getting ready for his shift. Especially when his 8am to 2pm doesn’t generate the most traffic or revenue. Instead, he spends the majority of his time typing lyrics down on the notes app or texting Hanna when she’s awake.

He tosses the phone onto his bed and pivots to find an outfit within his closet. It’s mostly an array of deeper tones—browns, navies, oranges—but, they’re broken up with some white graphic shirts and striped short sleeved tops. He settles on a heather grey top that he pairs with his signature black jeans. Niall doesn’t bother with a sleek boot, but picks a pair of worn black Nike SB Blazer Mids.

The clock on his phone reads 7:38am when Niall finally all of his stuff ready to go. A phone charger and notebook thrown haphazardly into his backpack, his wallet tucked into his back pocket. He pulls his beanie and peacoat from their respective hooks just to the right of the door

When he steps out the door, he doesn’t bother to lock it behind him. He figures Liam will likely be leaving in only a few short hours and would need to lock up regardless. Even so, he texts his roommate a reminder to make sure everything is locked up before he leaves. Not that there is much worth stealing, if you asked Niall, but his laptop and guitar could sell for a pretty penny if they were taken.

Their flat is on the third floor, so Niall doesn’t bother with the elevator like he usually does. But, he can see from the electronic numbers that are lit up above the steel doors, that waiting for it isn’t worth it. Instead, he’s jogging down the stairs and pushing the door open to reveal an empty lobby.

With the holidays just passing and the upcoming semester drawing nearer, he had expected there to be more commotion. But, he reasons that it’s likely that most people won’t be leaving for their morning commute for another half hour or so. At least, those with traditional nine to five desk jobs.

Niall doesn’t dwell on it, though. He simply shoves his hands into the pockets of his coat and uses his weight to push open the entrance door.

The wind licks and bites at his skin, dyeing his cheeks and nose a shade of pink. The windburn and frigid temperatures have never been kind to his skin, but Niall has yet to learn his lesson. He routinely leaves the house without a scarf or gloves. Hell, he isn’t even sure if he owns any.

And he thinks about buying them, sure. But, whenever he actually pops into ASOS or TopMan, they’re never first priority.

He’s grateful that the walk to Starbucks is only two minutes because he’s ducking inside before he even realizes it. The smell of ground coffee and pastries occupy his senses. His eyes flitter across the menu as the scents swirl around him, twisting and turning until his stomach makes an audible growling noise.

The line is fairly short, only four others in front of him when he finally decides on his order. He takes the time to dig his phone from his pocket once more, seeing that Hanna had texted him back only three minutes ago.

Really wish you could be here!

You’re all I keep thinking about tbh.

Oops. Gotta go, the tacos are here and I’m so hungry. ):

Niall is smiling down at his screen like a proper idiot. Face lit by the blue light of his phone and teeth on full display. He doesn’t really know what part of Hanna’s messages have him grinning from ear to ear. He knows that, in part, it’s because she’s just so cute. It pains him at times, if he’s honest. Puts his lower lip in a pout because he almost always thinks about how he’d like to kiss her and tell her just how cute she is.

As he rereads the texts again, inching forward as the next person in the queue is ordering, he finds himself reading over the second message the most. Hanna’s admission, though small, has Niall rising up that much closer to cloud nine. He won’t allow himself to take up residence there, for fear that Hanna may not actually feel the same. Even though he’s fairly positive that she does.

He’s satisfied with how he is feeling now, though. He’s warmed by his proximity to the sun. Lightheaded from the fast growing altitude. Weightless as he allows himself to float just beneath the surface of cloud nine.

Niall’s only brought back down to earth by the impatient barista behind the counter. His tightlipped smile is disingenuous when Niall finally steps forward. He pays him no mind, though. Still feeling as though nobody can touch him even though his feet have settled back down on the ground.

He orders a simple black coffee with a few pumps of vanilla syrup and a buttered croissant. Niall pays for both and before he’s even wedged his wallet and phone into separate back pockets, his order is so waiting for him at the opposite end of the counter.

His movements are quicker after he’s noticed the clock. He’s got about seven minutes to make a ten minute walk to the record store. So, he fills the remaining space in his cup with cream before securing the lid and venturing back out into the cold.

One hand is shoved back into the warmth of his coat pocket while the other holds a coffee that would be too hot if it weren’t for the below freezing temperatures outside. The beverage sloshes inside the cup, only contained by the green plastic stopper that Niall had knicked before stepping outside.

He manages to arrive thirty seconds early and with only a quarter sized coffee stain atop the lid. He balances the cup in his left hand while his right digs for the keys to open up the store. They’re deep in the corner of his coat pocket, where Niall’s fingers must pinch and shift them until he can get a decent grasp on the cold metal.

The inside of the store is dark when he enters, save for one neon sign in the back that Niall never remembers to turn off. It hangs above the listening area that is tucked in the left back corner of the store. “Good vibes” is written in all lower case letters and glows pink in the dimly lit space.

Niall thinks the sign is somewhat cringeworthy and hardly fits with the rest of the store’s aesthetic. The open layout is contained by exposed brick and covered with records that are chosen weekly by the staff. What is left of the empty wall space is occupied by signed posters that almost always have a glare from the string lights hung throughout the room.

After setting his stuff down, he flips the black and white “closed” sign, so that it reads “open.” He switches the lights on next before rounding the counter to prepare the register. It only takes five minutes for him to completely settle in. It takes another five for his hands to finally thaw enough for him to grab his phone.

Hanna’s name appears on his screen once again.

hello again. I’m a little drunk already.

margaritas and a vodka cran will do that to ya though.

still wishing you were here!

probably best you aren’t, though.

not the prettiest drunk, you know?

Niall is about to text her back to let her know he’s seen her pretty drunk. He had seen the way her lightly freckled cheeks were flushed and likely warm to the touch when they had first met. Her hair had been tossed up into a messy bun that barely contained her thick brunette hair. Niall had also watched her shovel fries into her mouth without a single breath that night, too.

But, Hanna already sent another message by the time he finished typing up his own response.

can’t have the boy that i like, but have no chance with, seeing me like this.

Niall watches as his cursor jumps backward as he backspaces his message.

Is it too early to be that giddy over such a simple declaration of mutual interest? Niall doesn’t think so.

In fact, he allows himself to float just that little bit more until he is sitting comfortably on cloud nine. He feels floaty and yet, never more anchored down than he does now. Even as his thumbs hover over the keyboard, unsure of how to properly respond, he feels at ease.

He settles for a simple response. Short, clear, and hard to misinterpret.

Don’t say that. Call me when you get home, love.

He types out another message asking her to be safe while she’s out. With an extra reminder to have fun with her friends as they celebrate being back together.

And on the opposite side of the world, Hanna is making her own quick ascension to cloud nine. Even being as intoxicated as she was, she is still capable of reading Niall like an open book. Which is how she feels a potentially blooming relationship should be:

Easy.

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[melimelo-ao3]

Answers to the ask

So this is my answer to every ask of the “A Writer’s Ask Game” by agwitow that I reblogged just below.

Yes, I know, people are supposed to be the ones to send a number, and only then am I supposed to answer. But, since this blog has like, very, very limited interaction, and I had nothing to do, I answered them myself.

And I’m putting a time stamp on it: Wednesday 17/02/2021, because for some questions, in a week, it won’t be the same answer.

The Basics 1.     Do you listen to music when you write?

I do, yes. I have a couple of playlists with songs – I know some people enjoy listening to music while they write, but only without any kind of lyrics. I don’t care either way. Some days it’s pre-enregistered playlists, others random, and others just piano.

2.     Are you a pantser or plotter?

I’m mostly a plotter. I’ve tried to go pantser on a couple of stories (Pretty Boy is the last example that comes to my mind), but I end up knowing what I’ll put in the next chapters in advance. Even if it’s just the main plot point / scene.

3.     Computer or pen and paper?

Computer. Except when I have writer block.

4.     Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?

I’ve never been published, and don’t plan on. I write my stories mostly for myself, and to me it’s a bit too over the top to, first, interest a publisher / editor, and then it would need lots of editing and… I don’t think I’m ready yet to see critics on my stories.

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

I have no idea xD I suppose I’m happy if I get 1.000 word a day, especially if it’s a day I only concentrate on writing. Sometimes it can be more, but sometimes it can also be nothing at all. On days I have other things to do, I’m happy if I can write one sentence more during the day :)

6.     Single or multiple POV?

At the same time? Single. In a story? It depends. Some stories I’ve written in a single POV all along, others I switched between chapters, and others within chapters, with a distinction between the “parts”.

7.     Standalone or series?

Um, series as in several “books”? If so, there’s this story I finished last year. At first, it was supposed to be one single book, but things progressed as they did and so I chose to cut the overall, finished epic into three books. So it’s supposedly a series now.

Other than this, I usually cram everything up in one story.

8.     Oldest WIP

Oldest oldest? I started a story called L’année scolaire (= School Year) when I was like 10. It’s unfinished, so I suppose I can consider it as a WIP. Other than that, if I’m talking about posted fic, it’s a Harry Potter time-travel fanfic called Une nouvelle chance de vivre (= A New Chance At Living). Same, the fic has maybe ten years now (damn, time flies) and has been untouched for… about ten years I believe xD

9.     Current WIP

I have several! On my AO3 profile, there’s Sunkissed (an Achilles x Patroclus Omegaverse ff), The Bravest Belief of All (Amandi) (a Peter Pan x Wendy Darling canon divergence from OUAT) and I Desire You (or worse) (which is an original work with original character that I’ve just started posting) that I update regularly.

There are more on my computer, much more than I can type here…

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

Not at all. Because I wouldn’t respect them, and it would make me stress.

 The Specifics 11.  Books and/or authors who influenced you the most

Victor Hugo is the main one that comes to my mind atm. I love the way he writes and what he writes about. There’s Emile Zola’s Au Bonheur des dames, too, which is amazing, one of the best books I know of. And, for the beauty of language and the sheer poetry literally pouring from every single word, Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand is. breathtaking. I don’t know if they influenced me, because it sounds a bit pretentious to say that one can find some of these authors in my stories if they look closely, but they definitely represent what I aspire to.

12.  Describe your perfect writing space

In a silent room, except there’s music (I know, it’s paradoxical). I have my computer and my head is resting (I mean, I don’t have anything urgent to do, it’s all done and behind me for the day) and I can concentrate on the scene I’ve been imagining for a couple of days / weeks / months / years (pick one).

13.  Describe your writing process from idea to polished

Usually I have an idea, I play it in my head over and over again until I really like it and I have a couple of things found out (like, scenes or dialogues or narration – depends if the idea is about a story or just a single scene). Then, I write it. Admittedly, the polishing happens mostly when I play it over and over in my mind until it clicks or sticks.

14.  How do you deal with self-doubts?

I usually listen to them, because it means there’s something that’s nagging me about a scene, a moment. So I go reread it, I think back on it – what can I change? How can I formulate it in a different way? – and I change it until I’m satisfied with it.

I experience a (lot) of self-doubt at the moment, with the first three chapters of IDY. I chose to post them, but I’m not entirely sure I’d be ready if people began to hate them or find horrible flaws with them. that makes me doubt whether it was a good idea or not, but I know that I can always delete them if it really goes downhill.

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

I stop writing. For a couple of days, usually, to let my brain the time to relax and focus on something else. Then, I sit back before my computer and I open another word document – like a blank page. I copy paste the scene I’m stuck on, and I rewrite it under, while using a couple of sentences I feel are good. I repeat the process until the words flow back again.

(This sounds a lot like a cooking recipe xD)

For the real, unbreachable writer’s block (like, if the above didn’t work), I try to focus on other stories. If that doesn’t help kick the inspiration back (like for No, but I do – even though the writer’s block was cemented by GOT’s last season but that’s another matter entirely), I push the story to the back of my mind and I give it up.

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

As many as necessary until I’m satisfied with myself. I can’t give a number.

17.  What writing habits or rituals do you have?

I imagine the scene beforehand, I listen to music, I write on computer… I can’t think of any other writing habit I have atm.

18.  If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?

I don’t think I could collaborate with anyone, sorry - -’ When I have an idea for a story, I’m excited with writing every single part of it, so I don’t think it’s for me.

19.  How do you keep yourself motivated?

With the scenes I want to write.

20.  How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?

At the moment (meaning the ones brewing in my mind): 11.

 The Favourites 21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?

It depends with the story. I liked Weston in Pretty Boy (I like him too in I Desire You), and Wendy in Amandi.

22.  Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?

Weston/Edmund. They’re my OTP for now.

23.  Favourite author

I don’t have a favourite author, I search for fics / stories mostly.

24.  Favourite genre to write and read

Romance.

25.  Favourite part of writing

I love writing dialogues, especially when the characters continue to talk on their own and I’m just transcribing everything and the conversation ends up very different from what I imagined.

26.  Favourite writing program

None, I just write on Word.

27.  Favourite line/scene

That’s impossible to choose! xD

On a writing’s perspective only, I’ll say the end part of chapter 3 in I Desire You (or worse). When I reread it and I could feel what the character is feeling / does (I’m being vague on purpose because I haven’t posted it yet), I knew I had to post it somewhere. I don’t know, I’m just really proud of it (and have the most self-doubt over people’s reaction, which is – as always – very logical of me).

28.  Favourite side character

In I Desire You, I like Lucy.

29.  Favourite villain

I don’t think I’ve ever written many villains. Ah, yes, Peter Pan in my OUAT fic. He’s a villain, it works.

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I’ve been beginning a lot of WIP at the moment, precisely so I could start putting down all the ideas I wanted, so I don’t really know what to answer to that…

 The Dark 31.  Least favourite part of writing

Writing description of settings. I don’t really like how I write those.

32.  Most difficult character to write

Edmund. No hesitation.

33.  Have you ever killed a main character?

No, and I never intend to. I want my characters to be happy and alive.

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

Chapter 3 of I Desire You? Or maybe the chapter 2.

Or the beginning of Amandi, which depicts the Peter / Fiona relation.

35.  What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?

Um, none at the moment :)

 The Fun 36.  Last sentence you wrote

I understand how he feels.

But I’ll probably change it. I’m not sure yet. It’s for IDY.

37.  First sentence of your current WIP

Well, I have three, so I’ll put the three.

A frustrated scream would have torn the eerie silence and thunderous sound of waves if Peter had any strength left in him to scream anymore. For Amandi

“Where’re y’all running to?” For IDY

Patroclus’ lip trembled when they pinned the crown to his hair. For Sunkissed.

38.  Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had

Oof, lots. I’ve often imagined confronting two versions of characters. Like, take characters, usually from period pieces or in mindsets that are very patriarchal, and make them see another version of themselves, usually in Omegaverse, in a sort of Harry Potter pensieve or television setting, like they just watch this alternate universe version of themselves as they go on their daily lives. And then I imagine all the ways this character would first be horrified / angered / dismissive of that version of themselves that they’d judge weaker because they’d be Omegas, and then, slowly, they see that they’re really badass and yk worthy of consideration, respect etc. Not just them, but all their mates etc. would too, as well. And then they would come out as this better person, who aren’t as prejudiced as they used to be.

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

I don’t know, I think it kind of overlap with the precedent question? Anyway, my characters are (only) plain, normal humans. Or, well, there was one time I had an idea to write a story with elves à la Tolkien, but it’s not really a weird character concept (or at all really xD)

40.  Share some backstory for one of your characters

Well, all my characters’ important backstories end up being revealed, so I’m not gonna spoil anything here…

I’ll take Curly from Amandi. He grew up in an orphanage, a poor one, which didn’t have proper beds (hence why he calls them pockets, because they look like pockets). He has no memory of his parents because they separated before his birth and his mother died in birth. He comes from a magical land (since we’re talking about an OUAT AU).

 The Rest of It 41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Write what you want to read.

42.  How do you feel about love triangles?

I’m mixed. I’m not a fan of them, but I wrote one once, although it was a bit special because it looked like that: Person A is in love with Person B, and vice versa, Person C loves Person A and Person C (and the entire world) is convinced Person A is in love with them.

43.  What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?

I just go with it. They know better than me xD

44.  How much research do you do?

A lot, but it’s mostly on little details. Like, not wars or political situation of the country at the time period, but more like were oil lamps still used for that class of population in said year, and can you snuff them out by turning the button (like in a slide sort of way, I’m not sure how to translate it precisely in English, but in my head it’s crystal clear).

45.  How much world building do you do?

I do a lot. When I write a story, I like to know every little detail I can.

46.  Do you reread your own stories?

Yes. That’s the main reason why I write them, to be true.

47.  Best way to procrastinate

By searching for aesthetic pics on Pinterest. That thing can take hours and you never see them fly. It’s incredible. Worse than Youtube. It takes you from picture to picture to picture without you noticing. Amazing.

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

I give a little bit of myself to every character I write about. Be it opinions, thoughts, childhood memory or taste. For example, Weston doesn’t like chocolate (he hates it with a passion) because I think chocolate has a disgusting taste (and because he never had the occasion of eating any as a kid).

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

Weston, because he’s friendly and extraverted, and I wish I could be more of both, and I imagine that being his friend would make me mimic him in certain ways.

[queerofcups]

could u do all the numbers for with plans with you and because we are fools if it's not too much trouble? i'm curious :)

Party!

Because We Are Fools

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?When I first started hanging out in the fandom I had lots of theories about potential relationship structures DnP might be in that were way more complicated than “they’re together and closeted”. This was one of those theories.

2: What scene did you first put down?Dan creating the wedding invite.3: What's your favorite line of narration?Literally any moment where Dan’s like “this is fine. this is fine. i’ll just pretend i’m not in love with him!”. Because girl, what? 

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?There’s like...not a lot of dialogue in this fic? Proportionately? But for someone that doesn’t do humour that well, I think this is pretty funny. C 

Dan drags a hand through his hair. “Ok. Um. Shit, do I care that they know?” 

He glances at Phil, who’s nonplussed enough to go back to whatever he was doing on his computer. “Phil! Do we care?”

“Care about what?” Phil asks, looking up and pushing his glasses back onto the bridge of his knows. Dan just wants to crawl back into bed with him, honestly. “Oh no, stress quiff.”

“That they know,” Dan says, gesturing to the phone with his other hand. “Fuck the stress quiff.”

“That we have sex?” Phil shrugs. “I thought they all already knew. Also, you remember that time you accidentally got jizz everywhere and we fell asleep and my hair was all weird in the morning? I don’t think I should fuck the stress quiff, Dan.”

“Wow, so they probably also hear that,” Dan says, distressed. “They know we’re fucking and that you’re a fucking oddball.”

“We knew that already,” Louise’s tinny voice says from the phone. “Not the sex thing. The other thing.”

Dan takes a deep breath and focuses on the phone. “Louise. You’re allowed to talk about the sex thing but just with the people you’re with right now. I don’t want this all over youtube. And don’t talk about the other thing at all.”

“The jizz in the hair thing?” Louise asks.

Dan closes his eyes. “Well, it’s too late if I was talking about that. No. The,” he lowers his voice. “the love thing.”

5: What part was hardest to write?Keeping them from just talking about their feelings and getting together, or not, too soon. Because its not a miscommunication fic. Its a fic about people keeping things from each other out of fear, and out of obtuseness, when it would be so much easier (but a much shorter story) to just let them talk and decide if they’re going to date or not. I had to lean super hard on Dan being like, ok but what if he’s not in love with me, despite it being really, really obvious that Phil was. I still think that part is one of the weakest parts of the fic.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?It’s the longest thing I’ve written and posted and will be until my PBB. 7: Where did the title come from?From Denitia and Sene’s song Because We Are Fools. That alternate title is also from that song “Why Do We Fall in Love”As for the chapter titles: ch 1 - Frank Ocean - Ivy, ch 2 - Trampled by Turtles - Midnight on the Interstate, ch 3 - The Front Bottoms - Peach, ch 4 - Iron&Wine/The Talking Heads - This Must be the Place, ch 5 - ...i actually have no idea.8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?Well I mean. DnP and the other youtubers and TATINOF.9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?Not really. There were versions where they got together sooner. 10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?I hadn’t yet pledged my allegiance to kickthefire.11: What do you like best about this fic?I have a lot of affection for Fools! It’s the second fic I posted ever and ended up being 20k, like bitch what kind of confidence? I think its an interesting story to read from my perspective because there’s a lot of things I did in this fic that I’d never do again, and some stuff that pops up pretty often.12: What do you like least about this fic?Ok, so I actually don’t think Fools is that good of a fic? I don’t think the characterization holds up all that well (admittedly I feel like DnP have been very open with us in 2017 and I was like, brand new to fandom when I wrote this) and ultimately I think the way I dealt with the “will they, won’t they” is actually a pretty weak narrative. Like there wasn’t enough conflict to warrant the word count. 

Also its unbeta’d which means that whenever I try to reread it, I always end up wanting to go in and fix all the errors.13:What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Yeah! I almost always have little playlists for my fics that I sometimes share.Denitia and Sene - because we are fools.Iron & Wine - This Must Be the PlaceDua Lipa - Thinking 'Bout YouChildish Gambino - Terrified The Front Bottoms - PeachChairlift - Get RealShura - What's It Gonna Be

14:Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?15:What did you learn from writing this fic?

With Plans, With You

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?I was going through a big big queer punk phase at the time and I find fandom’s depiction of punks to be interesting but not really accurate to my interactions with folks who identify as punk/experience identifying as a punk(....?). A lot of it was also that I was into a queer punk band that was just about to break it big on the mainstream so I was thinking a lot about what it means to be a “sell out”. They ended up not doing so, but that was a big influence.

2: What scene did you first put down?The image of Dan and Alex talking about being sellouts while Alex gets a tattoo. I don’t tend to write stories very out of order.

3: What's your favorite line of narration?I think Dan being really aggressively protective of his identity. I know that I’m constantly on high alert for misgendering and people being even a little weird about trans and gender nonconforming people and, when it happens, immediately being like nope, you’re cancelled, we hate you now. So that felt super true to life (except the part where Phil immediately picks up on it and apologizes. That’s generally not how that part goes, unfortunately).4:What's your favorite line of dialogue?So, context, Dan’s a trans dude and he and some OCs are in a punk band that’s just about to break into the mainstream. 

When they finish, he tilts his head. “So, I take it there’ve been a lot of pregnancy scares among the band?”

Alex glances at Dan, who nods almost imperceptibly, and says. “Nope, just Dan.”

“Yeah?” Phil asks, turning to look at Dan.

Dan shrugs. “Before T, yeah. They knew me pretty well at the clinic. ‘s why I went off dick for a while.”

“Yeah, you did,” Alex says, winking at him.

“Huh,” Phil says, and Dan knows that voice. That is the voice of “I was interested in you, but then figured out what your deal was below the belt”. 

Dan fucking hates that voice. 

Alex seems to pick up on it, juts their chin out a little. “We’re not afraid to talk about queer shit, or trans shit. Dan writes our lyrics, and that’s his life. If I was writing them, I’d probably write about genderqueer shit. Lalala fuck you, I’m not a ma’am.”

5: What part was hardest to write?Probably the opening tattoo scene just because I knew it was going to be a shortish piece, so I had to get the exposition of the whole AU, where the band was, what the relationship between Dan and Alex was all in that first scene.6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?It’s probably the one that’s most of me? Like I have a lot of tattoos, I have exes I’m friends with, I go to a lot of shows and sometimes identify as punk, I’m genderqueer, I use they/them pronouns, I wanted to be a music journalist for years, I was listening to the bands that wrote the songs I lifted for this fictional band. I wouldn’t say its the most personal thing I’ve written (that’s everybody told me it was bad to do), but it was the most things lifted from my life.7: Where did the title come from?90% sure it’s a modification on Priests’ amazing song Modern Love / No Weapon, which is my favorite song of theirs, holy shit.8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?Yeah. Like I said above, I was super into this queer punk band that was about to break into the mainstream and of course had lots of people talking about whether they were sell outs or not. They didn’t break the scene because of some stuff, and I’m glad that stuff happened and the scene turned their backs on the band, but there’s a real sense of wow, we really could have had it all. But that’s all extra stuff that happened long after this fic.9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?Nah. I think about continuing it out into a proper fic, but its so closely tied with me really falling in love with that band that didn’t break the scene and the reason they didn’t break the scene had to do with one of their members doing something really violent and it just hurts to think about now. And I don’t think I could really extricate the fic from those magical few months of loving that band so. Yeah, furthering it existed in my head but I doubt it’ll ever happen. 10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?So I think its obvious why I chose DnP, but I’ll also say the reason I had Dan be in a band with his ex, an ex who’s also his best friend, is because lol that’s pretty true to what I’ve seen in the queer community. There are only so many of us, even fewer when you start factoring in gender stuff, so its hard to just let go of relationships when you break up.

11: What do you like best about this fic?I think the band is a riot and make a perfect greek chorus for DnP’s budding relationship.12: What do you like least about this fic?That I can’t finish it tbh.13:What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story?Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Unsurprisingly, a lot of punk! I listened to a lot of The Front Bottoms, Priests, Ought, Modern Baseball, PUP, Girlpool, Childbirth, Chastity Belt, The Spook School, Ramshackle Glory. And two other bands that I won’t rec, but will say that consent is everything folks, and if you don’t ask for it, you deserve to lose your music career!

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?Uhm. That punk is 1000% fewer spikes than you think and way more people in ripped jeans and bandshirts and sticknpokes singing about their feelings.15: What did you learn from writing this fic?Ugh, that I need more queer punks in my life. 

[sapphyrelily]

MatsuOi Week Day 3

Prompt: Tastes//Habits

Warnings: None

External link: AO3

A habit is something made over many repetitions, something that is unknowingly ingrained in you. And sometimes, it ties in so well with your​ routine that you aren’t aware of it.

Until it breaks.

You are on a trip – an internship, an exchange programme, whatever they call it these days. You are in a little dorm room by yourself, and it’s weird, to not have to share a space with anyone else.

You make your bed, arrange your stationery on the table, and go out for food. When you order, you order a larger portion as usual, and only when the food comes do you realise your mistake – your boyfriend isn’t here to help you eat the food, and you have over-ordered.

(Habit number one.)

You eat as much as you can, and ask for a carry container to take the remainder back with you.

As you ready yourself for bed and slip beneath the covers, you lie on your side, facing the wall. It is an odd thing to fall asleep without the feel of someone breathing in your hair, and without the extra body heat.

You shiver and pull the blankets more tightly around you, hugging yourself to sleep.

When you wake the next morning, you find that you have somehow stayed on one side of the bed, despite having an entire bed to yourself.

(Habit number two.)

What a funny thing.

You get ready for class and walk to the cafeteria, consolidating your order in your head. You are so busy thinking that you order the exact thing you were not supposed to order, and have to rush to cancel it.

(Habit number three.)

There is no way you could drink an extra cup of tea in the morning. Firstly, there is not enough caffeine in it. Secondly, that’s not your drink, it’s Issei’s drink. And heaven knows what happens to people who touch his drink.

Thank goodness you have dissimilar tastes in beverages.

Class runs smoothly, and you pay such close attention that it’s scary. You wonder why as you reread your notes, puzzled to find a lack of doodles on it. You realise with a start that Issei always doodles on your notes, and that his little comics and exclamations make your study experience that much richer.

(Habit number four.)

You miss him.

You talk and laugh with the other exchange students, following them as they find a spot to study, sitting down and taking out your music player.

You are studying intently when someone clears their throat, asks you why you do not listen with two earbuds. You are about to protest when you realise – she’s right, there is only one ear bud in, the other is hanging freely.

(Habit number five.)

You laugh sheepishly and fit the other earbud in your free ear, wincing at the volume and quickly turning it down.

Your playlist is half full of songs you don’t recognise, but bop your head along to anyway – they have good tunes.

It’s not until you have bid the other students goodbye and unplug the device that you remember – those were Issei’s songs. No wonder they were weird.

(Habit number six.)

It’s time for dinner again, and you have to catch yourself before you order something too large, eating quickly and going back to the dorm. It’s too quiet to eat alone, though you’ve been doing it before–

Oh.

(Habit number seven.)

You sigh to yourself, stopping on the side of the walkway to observe the setting sun.

Seems like I’ve got a lot of habits that have been shaped by you. Your weird tastes have rubbed off on me too.

You can already hear his response – you can see him shaking his head at you, his smile a little amused.

I will make you a convert of my items, see if I don’t.

You start walking again and soon reach home, sending off a quick message before starting up your computer.

The messaging application opens quickly, and soon you have a video call running, despite it having been two days since you left.

“Hello.”

His voice is familiar, and you relax, a smile easily growing on your face.

(Habit number eight.)

“Hello. My day was absolutely crazy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mm-hmm. But first I wanted to ask you, what’s your size again?”

“You want to buy clothes.”

“For you.”

“And for you to sleep in.”

“Not untrue.”

Issei sighs, but it’s with a fond smile that he tells you his size, and you note it down gleefully.

You chat for a while longer, and then you head to bed, trying to take up more space on the mattress.

You’re not sure if you can unlearn such a thing – habits are hard to break, after all – not that you particularly want to, but it would make your life easier while you’re here.

You lay on your back and stare at the ceiling, thinking, thinking about your observation of your habits around campus, and how they came about.

Sleep doesn’t come easily, but it does come, which is proof enough that you can work around habits, if need be.