#responsive framework

[loriache]

honestly i'm kind of interested in the idea of laios in an arranged marriage. because obviously straight-up inherited monarchies are ...bad, to say the least! but it's what the characters are familiar with (even laios' father's extremely local, extremely minor leadership role is inherited, presumably through the male line). and it isn't just about what they think the best way to run melini is; in terms of ensuring that the other longed-lived nations respect melini's continued sovereignty, having it passed down in a manner that's close enough to their own ways for them to understand it and respect it is important. And it seems like most of the other nations have leadership through inheritance - thought that isn't confirmed for certain except with the elves.

Also, a marriage carries the potential to establish foreign allies - something melini is certainly lacking. A marriage could come with resources they'll badly need, treaties of mutual defence, money, legitimacy and political capital... not that these things can't be worked around, but if laios isn't strongly opposed, there are a lot of advantages! and i don't think he would be, because that's the framework for marriage (conferring practical advantages, building intracommunity relationships and providing a partner to do important work that he can't do) that he had grown up with. he isn't exactly a romantic and I doubt he's holding out for any sort of relationship of that nature.

Like, I don't think it's impossible that they would go with this path, because it's the most obvious and it carries a lot of advantages and it's what almost all the decision-making characters would consider normal and not objectionable. and it could be so interesting.

I think Laios would have major hangups if expected (i.e., by Marcille) to establish a genuine, romantic interest in a woman. Whether because of his sexual or romantic orientation, or just his own deep-seated trauma about rejection and being inherently disgusting and scary. And I think he'd hate the idea of having kids, too, and be very frightened of being like his father. But I don't think he'd refuse on that basis; he could cope with a marriage contract, with clearly laid-out expectations and responsibilities. And when it came to having a kid, I think he'd be reluctant to express that he doesn't want to do it, because he isn't naive and he understood when he agreed to be king it would carry responsibilities like this. It's clear from his nightmare that he already felt pressure from his parents to have children, probably magnified by the fact his father has got a position, responsibilities and wealth to pass on. Obviously he isn't a perfect martyr, so he might struggle when it comes to actually going through with it - but I don't think he'd actually, outright refuse. I think he might do it even though he doesn't want to, and I think that could be really messy in a way that appeals to me.

I don't know, there's something about negotiating these kinds of complicated situations that's interesting to me. and i love a platonic marriage. If they find a woman who has an interest in education, for example, and can work with marcille on setting up schools and universities. she'd ideally be politically savvy enough to be an able partner to laios: even though kabru can and would continue to do a lot of that, there are different spheres that a queen and a prime minister can work within!

how would their relationship work? maybe she finds laios' perspective on the world, and his frankness, unexpectedly liberating after an extremely controlled, cloistered upbringing. maybe she had a rebellious phase, has magic, or something else which makes her a relatively unpopular candidate for marriage - even as melini grows in power, i doubt that they'd be getting offers for the cream of the crop in terms of perceived value on the marriage market, because laios' relationship is a bit too ambivalent/monstrous for that, and melini too new. maybe she's a widow! an older woman, wouldn't that be cool - though they'd want her young enough that she could definitely still have kids.

certainly i think he'd be happy for her to pursue other relationships, though ideally in a manner that couldn't produce illegitimate kids. with other relationships in play, that's even more interesting. like, both kabru and toshiro have complicated emotions relating to infidelity. i think kabru would actually find it quite cathartic to be in the kind of high-status environment that rejected his mother for perceived infidelity, pursuing an affair that all parties consent to, though he'd likely be incredibly aware of the public image - since "image" is what he was rejected for. toshiro... i just really really love the way he'd feel about being the "other woman" in laios' marriage, considering his feelings about his father and maizuru. especially given how much closer he is to maizuru than his mother, being in her position...! his emotions would be so complex, it's incredibly tasty. i bet he'd make a bunch of assumptions about how laios' wife feels about it and be totally wrong, and that's so interesting. also, i think laios' wife should fuck marcille (she and falin have an open relationship).

[gomzdrawfr]

having a keyboard going clicliclicliclicalcalcalcalcalclclalcalcl does boost my productivity

[benevadeca]

LBH / SJ as parallels makes me crazy bc on one hand there's the themes of personal responsibility and the hard work necessary for taking agency for your choices and them being what shapes the kind of life that is reachable but on the other SJ was literally replaceable by the narrative and even when he did sporadically try to be Good it always blew up on him / never knew anything else and so was unable to be anything else.

VS LBH was not / protagonist halo / literal bloodline superiority / did at least know love which is what made him able to transcend the world by knowing the abuse he faced was something wrong and not something natural. Anyway

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

(heavy discussions on sa - this is actually an older post that i made like months ago, and was actually the first draft of the amarantha taboo post, so some things sound similar! just a heads up!)

you know i actually think there is a wider discussion to be had about rhysand's sexual assault - or sexual assault and trauma as it functions in the wider narrative. ive always felt that bc the story puts rhysand in this vulnerable position (i.e. a victim of sexual violence) the story always needs to like...make up for it, if that makes sense? 

what i mean is: the story creates this dynamic where rhysand is a victim; he has no power, control, or say - but it also has a very hard time reconciling to the fact that he was placed in this position. and so there's these weird placeholding pieces of information that often addle or confuse the narrative. and i talked about this before with rhysand's framing of his 'service to amarantha.' i also contributes to the moments of hyperviolence with rhys in the books, as if he constantly has to make up for the fact he was placed into these vulnerable positions in the first, implicitly.

the first book - and other books thereafter - imply that rhysand's court is specificially shielded from amarantha because he aligns himself (action word). rhysand's decision is framed as a 'sacrifice' which implies a choice (that he didn't really have). it always implies that rhysand is the one consciously 'one-upping' amarantha by 'agreeing' to be her 'right hand man' again - notice how despite the fact amarantha is characterized as a sexual deviant, she's rarely the focus. its what rhys 'gave' and not what 'amarantha did.'  

and this is fine if this is the way rhysand chooses to see what happened to him - bc then that's a trauma response. he can't acknowledge it so its better for him to rationalize it - that would have been great writing. 

but thats not how his sexual assault and role utm is discussed. 

other characters view rhys sexual assault as a statement of heroism (which ew) and not a just a statement of amarantha's capacity for sexual violence. tarquin literally says something along those lines. which again is implying that RHYS HAD A CHOICE. we can't frame this as heroism. he was raped, he did not sacrifice something...it was taken. 

in the initial scenario - where we remove the idea of autonomy (e.g. the idea that rhys purposely aligns himself with amarantha) he's a victim. but then - so is tamlin, tarquin, beron, kallias, and helion. in short - rhys being taken advantage of says nothing about him. it's a statement on amarantha's cruelty. but the story isn't satisfied with this bc...how would he be any different than tamlin whose vilified for being directly affected by his trauma, who 'sat on his ass for fifty years' as the book says. 

its the tragedy of how male sexual assault is rationalized in this series. the story literally purposely sets up a mirror position where rhys and tamlin are consistently compared for how they work through some of the craziest trauma ever known to man. the level of trauma the story is asking these characters to 'overcome' is actually quite insane. 

so the story ups the ante, it doesn't want rhys to be 'just a victim,' it wants him to be the MAN TM. bc tamlin and tarquin are 'just victims' so ewww. like even lucien is given another horribly written experience with sexual assault (which it literally has to bend the worldbuilding to accomplish) and then kind of position his complaints abt ianthe as whiny. or how tarquin's trauma is...not 'dark' enough for feyre. these men are often characterized as cowardly or not enough in relation to rhys. helion, thesan, tarquin, and tamlin are all consistently characterized as 'cowards' with little to no initiative or backbone.

so the story does that thing where it provides impossible situations: rhysand is the most powerful being in the world, he's so powerful that even without his 'real' power, he's still light years more powerful than the others when they're powers are ripped away. he can read minds, and has two wraiths that can literally walk through the walls and spy. he's often sent on missions on behalf of amarantha and can waltz in and out of the spring court without any issues (ie. its easy for him to convince amarantha he needs to go to the spring court multiple times. and then when he works for amarantha - he's the mastermind, not her. he's playing her all along and blah blah blah). but then it doesn't know how to write this dynamic with rhys and amarantha. and then it depowers him, while shaming the other men in the series for not doing 'enough' even when the most op character with all of those advantages isn't even able to over power her.

there's little introspection into amarantha as a character and as a villain -- and you'll notice she's hardly ever mentioned after the first book...despite the fact that she was literally the high queen of prythian and was the governing oppressive force for a half-century. as said in this post - the story isn't actually concerned about making a point about male sexual asault.

and that's why i talked about why that amarantha taboo is...kind of important to how the story chooses to conceptualize sexual violence/assault. the choice to create amarantha (and ianthe and maeve too) as these caricatures of sexuality - which is pretty much the case of all of sjm's villains. 

the story doesn't want to fully commit to a tactical scenario, because it doesn't believe that he's a victim in that capacity  - or at least that the victimhood is valid. bc its spends so much time invalidating the male trauma around rhys, the only way to make a distinction between rhys and the others to have rhys "orchestrate" his own assault to save everyone.

[magpie-trove]

It’s not nature or nurture it’s what you make of what you’re given that is what defines good and evil!!

[chicago-geniza]

Saw picture of myself on bike store social media and didn't get soul-devouringly insane about it even though I was fat because I am fat. Still hate having my picture taken but at least it doesn't shear 24-48 hours out of my life about the irreconcilability between arbitrary embodiment and Denkbild/ideal representation of intangible subjectivity

[qweerhet]

i think people heavily involved with leftist ~discourse~ could stand to take a step back from questions of morality and recognize:

when you brutally torture people for their entire lives, they will eventually react with extreme and brutal violence.

it's not a question of whether that reaction is moral or not. it's certainly not a question of if they will react like this; the only question is when.

it's pointless to try to ascribe moral value to the actions of torture victims while they are being tortured. if someone is starved, beaten, denied medical care, denied humanity their entire lives... they will (at the very least try to) lash out with brutal and horrific violence at some point. this is how our bodyminds respond to torture. this is how the endless trauma of being subjected to such conditions manifests itself. morality doesn't factor in.

[shrikeseams]

When you idly think about Celegorm possibly being most like Nerdanel of all the sons of Feanor, and then you start thinking about Nerdanel getting a post-Darkening moral decay arc all of her own to mirror her son(s)'s.

[deepspaceboytoy]

is there any hope for me at all if im a virgin at 23? if i tried hard enough i could probably lose it- i wipe my ass and know how to read, which puts me ahead of most men- but my gender dysphoria gives me such a massive disconnect from myself and my body that i dont think i know myself well enough to be a good partner to someone, either in a short-term sexual encounter or a long-term romantic relationship. and honestly, i just dont want to have sex as a man, but i lack the material conditions to transition, so im stuck. i feel like its a moral failing that im a virgin this late in my life, like no matter what my actual feelings or opinions are, im no better than the most terminally online neet. i dont know if i even actually want sex or if i just want to have it so i can feel equal to my peers. idk. im sorry for dumping this in your inbox but i like how mean you are and im kinda hoping that youre just gonna tell me to kill myself lol

Took me a while to compose the response I wanted for this but I want to start off by saying there’s no wrong or right age to have sex for the first time, especially for us lgbts. Shit’s hard both out there and inside our heads and it doesn’t help that there’s immense societal expectations to lose your v card young. I have friends who are several years older than me and still waiting or they don’t experience attraction or they just want to focus on shit other than their sex lives and no matter what your reason is for not having lost it, it’s perfectly fine. Under no circumstances should you take my dumb fuckin horndog ass any sort of barometer for where you are in regards to your relationship with gender. Honestly, I know it feels like it sucks that you haven’t had any sexual experiences but from the way you described your gender issues that may be for the best, I have a lot of friends who hadn’t reconciled their identity yet and rushed into sexual relationships because they felt they needed to or it was expected and it really hurt them or set them back, I think inside the struggles you’ve been having is a good awareness you may not be in the right space right now for sex.

Sex is a tough one because everyone’s relationship to it is vastly different. I talk a lot about casual relationships and short flings but it’s not a one size fits all either so don’t let the way I talk about it influence how you want to approach your sex life, now or in the future.

Lastly, I’m not gonna tell you to kill yourself because despite appearances I am a less caustically hostile rude asshole now than I have been on here, we could charitably call it personal growth. You’re in a rough place in your life, just like a lot of our community, and that’s both perfectly understandable and not at all a moral failing. Ultimately, if you’re looking for a guide on sex I’m a bad person to come to because I have what I think for most people would be a pretty unhealthy relationship with it. It works for me and when it doesn’t I seek out longer, more serious relationships, but each person is different. Focus on yourself and doing the things you need to do to become more comfortable with yourself first and you’ll find that it unlocks sexuality in a huge way. For me, that unlocking came in high school when I realized I really fit in well with the freewheeling casual stuff, but like I’m sure I’ve said in here before, it’s not a one size fits all. You’re doing fine

[raffaellopalandri]

World Earth Day: Confronting Capitalism and Indifference in the Planetary Crisis

In this annual celebration of the World Earth Day, we are compelled to confront a stark reality: our planetary home, a delicate and intricate system of interconnected biophysical and ecological processes honed over eons, faces an unprecedented crisis. Image taken from Internet This exigency is not merely a matter of isolated environmental perturbations, but rather a systemic unraveling driven…

[planet4546b]

nk jemisin the ones who stay and fight read it now

[hipstersoulgushers]

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting stranger (negative) with age. Like I'm going to wake up one day and be exactly like my mother with no perception of myself or how my words and actions effect others

[trans-soapberry]

In my mind yhe reason Satoru Shoko and Suguru work so well together but also are doomed is because they're three different variants of depression. Satoru reads to me as "I'm not suicidal I just don't really want to exist" and "I'm not depressed bc I'm not sad. I just don't really feel things" y'know where it's teetering between denial and just being straight up oblivious. Shoko is well aware of her depression and kinda doing stuff about it (substance abuse which is. Uhh y'know complicated) but also is clearly intensely fatigued (in my mind it's a mix of her shitty job her depression and also some form of chronic illness) so like. She doesn't have many great opportunities to do things about that. And Suguru is a danger to himself and others.

So basically how I see it is they understand each other on something of an instinctual level and know that they Aren't Completely Alone, but also they're all Really Bad at actually communicating (I think there's multiple reasons but mainly Because Jujutsu Society Is A Nightmare And Also They Are Pretty Much Eachother's Only Friends) so they can't meaningfully help eachother when they start getting worse so that's part of why everything went to shit (most of it is Suguru but alos he clearly doesnt have like. Any actual models for Maturity and Dealing With Problems Without Violence. So most of the jujutsu adults were just kinda letting that fucking Ticking Timebomb tick away y'know)

[ohsunshine]

what are you the patron saint of?

hosea

patron saint of bones: patron saint of frameworks. of structures. of solidity. patron saint of things that break. patron saint of things that are left behind. the bones survive long after the body, the building: what is there left for them, when the rest has gone? what do bones do, with nothing to hold around them? who holds the bones?

tagged by: @bloodebayou thanks! tagging: YOU.

hosea with ANY of these would be camp-wide headaches for days i'm sorry. he'll never let anyone know peace again. he should have a flute or a violin. as a treat.

[kazeofthemagun]

@8radicaldragon8 asked the summoner:

10 c: (a way that they are improving on any of the above!)

What the fuck is wrong with my character?

Haha, this is gonna sound rambley without (fresh) context.

As much as he resigns himself to acting in accordance to a higher design, that in itself does not mean he can't improve on a personal level. His own flaws and insecurities still exist separately from the duress of purpose - such as his core fear: losing Kumo, especially as a result of the damage he himself had caused.

Kumo is Kaze's everything, both as his fellow Unlimited companion on the quest to end Chaos, but also as a friend and someone he considers a charge. This possessiveness gives birth to paranoid and harmful behavior, with Kaze himself erring always on the side of caution, which has led to isolating and emotionally (or, in one scene, physically) hurting Kumo on several occasions.

However, he hates to see his "other half" suffer, even if said suffering may seem to be in his best interest. Indeed, Kaze has never been great at interpersonal relationships and has always been either far below or far above others in Windarian hierarchy. The former teaching him some toxic lessons about authority, and the latter forcing far too many burdens, far too fast for his age.

At his core, especially now that he is linked to Bahamut, Kaze struggles with perceiving others as equals. Not in the sense of combat skills; But in the capacity to make their own decisions and shoulder responsibility. The gunman's crippling fear of Kumo returning to Anarchy is an example of such.

At the start of the verse, freshly post-canon, he still views Kumo as a naïve boy and seeks to control him through fear. Throughout the verse, he will learn to better respect his other's views and decisions, even in the event they stand in opposition to his own. Meeting his equal on equal terms, and undoing the damage done to his own perception of interpersonal relationships by Silver Storm.

In doing so, he must also allow himself to be loved in turn - for a being hated by everyone and everything cannot reliably show love, either. He even went as far as to cast away his name out of fear of ruining the image of the brother beloved by Aura - and by Kumo. But a dead thing cannot be held accountable, which means he must come to accept being alive, changed as he now is.

In accepting Kumo's help, in allowing his other's purpose of Salvation to extend to his own cursed self as well, the Black Wind may yet learn that he does not have to resign himself to being a monster and nothing else, and that even beings tethered to impossible decisions can still find peace in the little inbetweens. That he can be both Rorahm and the Hunter, and Rorahm does love his Seejvariil dearly. A discovery that will in turn allow Kumo to accept his own castaway name and reconcile with his past of slaughter.

Ultimately, since Salvation cannot save himself, someone else will have to.

[dykesynthezoid]

Gonna say that I really don’t think shame is actually a very effective activism tool. Which isn’t to say you have to be nice to shitty people or w/e, bc anger has a very very important role in activism and you have a right to be angry. But I don’t think shaming people itself is really “activism.” I don’t think it’s effective and I don’t think it actually helps anyone basically ever. Communicating, calling someone out, those are very important. But shame on its own is just. Not a good emotion to make use of. Shame is so self-focused. When people are ashamed they’re only going to act to alleviate their own discomfort and humiliation. And a lot of the time they just shut down instead. It doesn’t actually push anyone to make long lasting changes in themselves and their communities. It just makes people feel like shit and makes for some really shitty “activists” who don’t have like, any idea of what constructive, restorative, healing activism could look like and only know to tear other people down