#rip livvy blackthorn

[margareturtle]

Rip Livia Blackthorn and Max Lightwood

The TWP gang would’ve been just too powerful with y’all as a part of it 💔😔

[tyhxrondxle]

gonna start rereading LoS today!!!

i’ll also be posting here every single though I have about it probably so

long live Livia Blackthorn🥰🤡

now really, i’m so excited to reread it! i adored lady midnight even more than i did when i first read it, and i’m SO SO NERVOUS TO SEE KIT LIVVY AND TY TOGETHER AGAIN I MIGHT ACTUALLY SCREAM

(cassie pls the twp release dates i’m actually collapsing)

[dancing-in-the-rain-1104]

RIP Livvy Blackthorn you would have loved the eras tour, friendship bracelets, and Olivia Rodrigo’s music

[tycarstairs]

ready to fight for my life for ty blackthorn when twp is released because the way people are already infantilizing and patronizing him bc he’s autistic is so….

no one asked for this but i’ve seen a lot of people have weird takes on his autism so as an autistic woman i need to clear some things up ok 😭 so buckle up, this is gonna be a long one (seriously, it’s long)

the main arguments i’ve seen are: (i’m paraphrasing here btw)

“ty didn’t cry when livvy died but he did cry when kit said he wished he’d never known him so it’s clear that he does love kit.”

and

“ty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and it’s hard for autistic people to cry.”

and

“ty gets on my nerves because he didn’t react at all when kit told him he loved him”

like. i do get what you’re saying (with the first one. not the second one, that’s a stereotype, and also not the third one bc that’s just weird), because it does show that ty cares but like. obviously? all his actions before that showed that he cared too.

saying “he cried when him and kit fought but not when livvy died” just comes off as acting like he’s more upset about kit leaving and insulting him than he is about kit dying and that just rubs me the wrong way.

i know this is not common knowledge but autistic people often have delayed processing, especially when we’re grieving because it can be so overstimulating and even when we do grieve, it’s not gonna look the same as when an allistic person grieves.

so, delayed processing:

delayed processing in autism is where you are recording/aknowledge events as they happen, however that information is stored elsewhere in the brain and isn't taken in.

once the brain is ready or has capacity the information is suddenly taken in. this could be hours, weeks, days or even months later.

an example (from justkeepstimming_ on instagram):

An autistic person whose mother died at quite a young age. At the time, when his father was grieving, it did not appear the autistic son was upset.

However, one year after his mother's death, he suddenly processed that she was gone (permanently) and only then started the grieving process.

that example is pretty much exactly what happened with ty in qoaad.

partly, ty didn’t cry when livvy died because he didn’t accept that she was dead. he was so sure that he was gonna bring her back and for a long time, he probably didn’t even consider the fact that he might fail.

after livvy dies, kit says this:

“Everyone had been terrified. Ty would fall apart, they’d thought. Kit remembered Julian standing over Ty as he slept, one hand stroking his brother’s hair, and he’d been praying—Kit didn’t even know Shadowhunters prayed, but Julian definitely had been. Ty would crumble in a world without his sister, they’d all thought; he’d fall away to ashes just like Livvy’s body.”

if ty were allistic, he probably would have reacted like this immediately. and he does react like this eventually when his brain fully processes that the ritual didn’t work, that livvy is actually not coming back:

“Livvy!” Ty didn’t scream the word so much as it was ripped from him; he curled up, hugging himself, as if desperate to keep his body from shattering apart.”

this is when ty actually processes that his sister is gone. so saying, “ty didn’t cry when his sister died but he cried when him and kit fought” as if it’s some really romantic thing that he was sadder about kit leaving than livvy dying (which is not true) is just iffy because it’s such a stereotype and a misconception that autistic people don’t seem to care at all when people die, and way too many people from this fandom are feeding into that so much.

and ty does show is grieving throughout qoaad but because it’s not in the allistic way, a lot of readers don’t recognize it.

(i was actually so positively surprised to see that cassandra clare, an allistic woman, wrote the grieving process for an autistic character—and everything else about being autistic tbh—so well but it gives me so much hope for twp)

for example, autistic people (this is obviously not all autistic people as all autistic people are different but i'm just listing the signs i've seen in ty in qoaad) when they're grieving might show their grief gradually in more subtle ways by hurting themselves, emotionally or physically, which ty does do:

"The only person he was unkind to, Kit thought, was himself."

and we also see in gotsm that ty is continuously punishing himself because he is still grieving. livvy is simultaneously there and dead, and ty has to live with both the grief of her death and the guilt of her being stuck as a ghost.

there's also the fact that kit observes that ty starts keeping secrets and doing things alone, which is also common when trying to process emotions that haven’t fully caught up yet:

“In the past days, though, since Julian and Emma had woken up, Ty had been harder to find. If he was working on something, he hadn’t included Kit in it—a thought that hurt with surprising intensity.”

like. ty is pulling away because he is trying to process everything that’s happening. him excluding kit is very likely a symptom of some kind of delayed grief because it’s very unlike him to exclude kit from anything, as we can see when he says multiple times outright that he doesn’t want to do things without kit.

just because it’s more subtle than breaking down into tears doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel it at all. it’s more likely that he simply feels too much and is shutting down because of it.

and of course his grief is gonna be subtle when he hasn’t even accepted and processed the fact that she’s dead yet.

and yes, he cried when kit told him he wished he’d never met him but that is so different because there was no room for denial. kit told him that word for word, the processing wasn’t delayed this time because there wasn’t really that much to process.

ty truly believed right away that his only friend wished he had never known him, and when livvy died he didn’t accept that she was dead. those things are different and pitting them against each other is weird.

so, onto the second argument/misconception i’ve seen that:

“ty clearly loves kit because he cried when they argued and it’s hard for autistic people to cry.”

this is a misconception stemming from the stereotype that autistic people are emotionless. yes, some autistic people might have a harder time crying because of shutdowns etc. but generalizing it to it’s hard for autistic people to cry is just wrong, especially because this has never been implied about ty in the text.

in fact, it’s the opposite:

“Ty heard everything twice as loud and fast as everyone else. The headphones and the music, Kit sensed, were a buffer: They deadened not just other noises, but also feelings that would otherwise be too intense. They protected him from hurt.

He couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to live so intensely, to feel things so much, to have the world sway into and out of too-bright colors and too-bright noises. When every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven, it only made sense to calm yourself by concentrating all your energy on something small that you could master—a mass of pipe cleaners to unravel, the pebbled surface of a glass between your fingers.”

so implying that it’s harder for ty to either cry or feel sad is just wrong. kit notes that “every sound and feeling was jacked up to eleven”, and this includes ty’s grief. him not crying when livvy died has nothing to do with how much he may or may not be feeling and everything to do with how delayed his processing was.

and the third complaint of ty is frustrating because he didn’t react when kit told him he loved him.

first of all, i don’t know if it’s my autistic ass not understanding allistic people but is it not normal to be in shock when someone tells you they love you in the middle of a necromancy ritual???

and second of all, this scene from city of heavenly fire where julian says “i know it’s hard to understand, ty, but we love you” like it’s supposed to explain their actions and ty reacts like this:

Ty looked at him blankly. He knew what “I love you” meant, and he knew it was good, but he didn’t understand why it was an explanation for anything.”

ty looking at kit blankly in surprise in qoaad is not him “not reacting”, it’s him trying to process 1) what that has to do with anything and 2) why that would be an explanation or an argument as to why ty should stop the ritual.

(it is probably also partly because ty thought kit had feelings for livvy at this point but that’s just speculation so i won’t get into it now)

to kit, this was probably his way of saying that because he loves him, ty can stop the ritual and kit will help him with the aftermath.

to ty, kit’s confession made no sense in that moment because why would kit loving him mean that he should stop the ritual? and this was most likely also the moment when his grief was really starting to kick in, so that just adds to it.

yeah idk if anyone made it to the end but as you can tell, i have a lot to say and i’m tired of people romanticizing ty’s grief.

[tys-kitty]

„You‘ve ripped a hole in the fabric of life and death. You don‘t know what you‘ve done. You cannot borrow from death. You can only pay for it“ - Livvy Blackthorn ; The Queen of Air and Darkness

Oh believe me they will indeed pay for it. They will even have their own book series because of it.

[thechangeling]

Oh love, I'm sorry if I smothered you

Cw: Brief mention of self harm and mentions of self injurious stimming. If you want to skip the mention of self harm, skip the second paragraph. Emotional dysregulation and a suicidal ideation mention.

Title is from the song Smother by Daughter

As soon as Kit leaves Blackthorn Hall, Ty nearly suffocates under the weight of the quiet. Kit's final awkward words to him ring in his mind on a loop. He wants to scream, even just to break the silence. To pull his hair out, to chew off his hands, rip and tear at flesh until he finds peace. He just needs to do something to release this feeling inside of him. This paralyzing, burning agony.

His skin boils underneath his hoodie. Everything is too hot, too disgusting. He wants to rip it all off, to shed his skin like a snake. God he hates this body. He always has. With it's damp, sticky warm skin, gangly limbs and tender bloodied heart.

He wishes he could just leave it behind.

Distantly he registers Livvy talking to him, asking him if he's alright, but he just ignores her. There was just no way Ty could form the words to speak to his sister. To say anything coherent at all. Instead his gaze falls to the kitchen drawer that holds the steak knives. He fights against the all-consuming urge to open a vein with one of those knives.

Ty remembers what Alyssa had told him the last time she found him in a similar state of distress, ready to end it all.

Breathe deep. In through your nose and out through your mouth. This feeling will not last forever. It will not have power over you forever. It will pass.

Ty closes his eyes and attempts to ride out the waves. But all he can think about is Kit's face when he saw him again. Cold and hostile.

What are you doing here? he had asked. Alyssa will be furious when he tells  her. The sheer audacity of him to demand an explanation for being in his own ancestral family home. Ty tries to summon that same anger. The blinding fury and hatred was so much easier than this, this heartbreak. It was comforting.

But it will not come. All he can feel is pain.  It's as though there is something inside of him, burrowing and tearing at his heart, feasting on the flesh. Ty feels everything and it is undefinable. To sort through the noise and the chaos would be impossible.

Amongst the buzzing in his head and the ringing in his ears, Ty has a distant thought.

Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

Livvy floats closer towards him, "Ty please talk to me," she begs.

He doesn't want to talk to Livvy. Livvy won't. understand. No one would. He feels something cool against his wrist and realizes he has been digging his fingernails into his wrist hard enough to draw blood. 

Why can't he just cry like a normal person?

Kit's voice rang in his head.

No. Not now.

It had taken everything in him not to beg. To fall to his knees and plead for Kit to forgive him. Or maybe he should have asked what he need to do to earn Kit's forgiveness. Ty's always so much better when he has a task to complete.

But what about Ty's forgiveness? Did Kit even care about that? Does anyone?

Aly. Of course.

He would've gone to her. Only she was currently in New York visiting her family and he doesn't think the Reyes' would take to kindly to him showing up at their door.

He collapses down onto the kitchen floor, resting his back against the table. He finds the pain is starting to drain out of his insides, leaving him numb and apathetic. Livvy stares at him from above, her eyes full of concern, a slight crinkle between her eyebrows. It's the same one she gets when she's worried about him.

And she's always worried about him. Not that she doesn't have a reason to be.

Ty sighs. "I can't do this anymore Liv. It's just too much."

Livvy tilts her head to the side slightly. "Do what exactly?"

Ty gestures vaguely. "This! Any of this! It's too much. It just hurts."

Livvy looks confused for a moment, then her eyes widened. "Ty please, you don't want your life to be over believe me!"

Ty rapidly shakes his head. "No, I would never do that Livvy, we have no way of knowing what my death would do to you. I would never take that kind of risk."

And Ty would never leave his twin. Not after everything he has done so that they could be together.

It seems his words do little to comfort her though. Livvy stares at him stone faced, as if she's waiting for him to say more. "Don't you value your own life?

Ty bites his lip. "Sometimes. It depends."

"On what?"

Ty laughs humourlessly as he realizes he has no idea. The wound on his wrist has cauterized and the blood is dry. He licks it off his wrist and Livvy wrinkles her nose at him. The gesture feels reminiscent of their younger years as twins when things were simpler.

Not that things were ever very simple.

"I don't know." He fixes his gaze on a spot in the wallpaper that has a slight imperfection in it. One of the miniature roses is missing a leaf. He stares at it absentmindedly as he flicks his fingernails.

"Sometimes when my brain is so utterly enamored with something, or someone, I just become so euphoric." He tries to not let his voice crack as he says the word "someone."

"It's almost as if I forget every bad thing I have ever experienced and I just float in that feeling of bliss, and I always think it's going to last forever." Ty scowls. "But then it doesn't. It doesn't, and that elation becomes crushing despair and I drown in it."

Livvy nods sympathetically. "Yeah I remember. You've always kinda been like that. I remember you punching that mirror after dad died and I remember you throwing your toys clear across the room when Helen sent word that she was staying in Italy longer than we expected." She reaches for her hair and begins to fiddle with it. A habit even death hasn't been able to get rid of.

Ty stares down at smooth opaque tile. It's remarkably well kept considering how old this building is. He wonders how many generations of Blackthorns have walked across it. How many of them sat exactly where he was sitting now?

Ty wonders if any of them were as much of a mess as he is.

"But I also remember the way you were when Kit first came to the institute." Ty flinches, but Livvy continues. "I remember the look on your face when he told you he wanted you to give him his first rune. You always get high with the highs and low with the lows."

Ty knows that's true, but he really doesn't want to think about Kit right now.

"I remember the way I was a little jealous because it felt like he was stealing you away from me."

Ty shakes his head, directing his gaze back to her. "Nobody could ever replace you Liv. You're priceless."

Livvy gives him a look. "And I appreciate that Ty, but did you really have to prove it by dragging my essence back from beyond the grave?"

A jolt goes through his chest like a dagger, spreading hurt everywhere like locus. "What are you saying?" He hates how weak his voice sounds. "You don't want to be here with me?"

Is the one person he always thought he could rely on ever since the day he was born about to betray him?

Livvy closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again. "Ty I love you. Of course I want to be here with you." Ty can see the tension in every muscle in her body as she clenches her fists shut. "But you never asked me what I wanted. You just brought me back because it was what you wanted."

Ty recoils in fury, glaring at his sister. "So you would rather be dead than have to spend an eternity with me? Is that what you're saying?"

Livvy purses her lips in annoyance. "No Ty, that's not what I said."

But Ty isn't listening anymore.

"Alyssa wouldn't mind," he childishly throws in her face.

She laughs coldly. "That girl values her autonomy and independence more than anything else. She may love you, and lets face it enables the fuck out of you but make no mistake Ty-Ty, if you try to put a collar on that wolf, she will bite your head off."

Ty jumps to his feet, fuled by adrenaline and rage. "Enable? Is that what you call being  there for me? Sticking up for me? I thought you were on my side!"

Somewhere in the depths of his brain where logic still lives, he knows he's being unfair and Livvy probably has a point. But in this moment all he can feel is abandoned and threatened.

Livvy shakes her head. "Ty there are no sides. There's no clear right or wrong person here. You both fucked up. And just because I love you doesn't mean I won't tell you when I think you're wrong."

Ty's nostrals flare. "Leave me alone."

"Ty!" she protests.

Without thinking, he grabs whatever is nearest and heavy, a vase on the table, and throws it directly at her. It just goes straight through her and breaks apart against the wall, shattered glass flying everywhere.

Livvy groans. "Now look what you did!"

"I told you to go!" Ty shouts.

"Yeah? What are you gonna do throw some more vases at me? I'm translucent!"

Ty hisses at her. Something he hadn't done since he was a child. "I'll exorcise you, and then you can be dead, really dead this time. Is that what you want?"

Instantly he knows he went too far when he sees the wounded look on her face. She almost looks afraid. Instantly the rage starts to die down and all he is left with was regret.

Livvy gulps. "Fine. If you want to be left alone. I'll go."

Ty shakes his head. "Livvy wait! I'm sorry!"

But she's already disappeared.

The silence is deafening.

///////////

Ty has no sense of how many hours it had been when Jules finds him later. He's sitting in the same spot he had been before, staring aimlessly at the wall. The vase still lay in peices on the floor.

Julian sighs as he observes the scene in front of him.

"So I see you won the fight against the evil vase."

Ty scowls. "Don't mock me Jules. I'll clean it up later."

Julian's eyes soften. "I'm not mocking you Ty, I understand. I know sometimes you just need to break something. I feel like that sometimes too."

It's not the same, Ty wants to say. Because Julian and Dru, or whoever might feel that way sometimes, but he's the one who always losing himself like this. Ty is the one who can't control his emotions.

Ty's the one whose broken.

He knows Alyssa would kill him if she heard him say that. But he just can't help but feel this way sometimes, when everything goes wrong.

Jules crouches down beside him. "Is this about Kit?"

Ty flinches as he tries to ignore the twisting in his chest. "Please Julian I don't want to talk about it."

Julian's hand finds it's way into his hair and Ty relaxes into the feeling of nails on his scalp. "It's ok," he coos. "I understand. It's gonna be ok."

Ty wonders if he really does. If his brother knows by now how he's horribly in love with Kit Herondale. He wonders if everyone knows.

"Hey," Julian's voice brings him back to himself. "Come with me ok?" He stands up, offering his hand to Ty.

"Where are we going?" Ty asks, allowing Jules to pull him up.

"You'll see."

///////////////

Julian leads him out of the building into the woods behind Blackthorn Hall.  The sun is starting to go down and Ty has to be careful not to trip over any rocks or roots. If it were anyone else, he might be a little concerned they were leading him to his death.

They walk deeper into the woods until Ty can no longer see Blackthorn Hall. Then suddenly Julian stops and turns to face him. Ty can barely make out his face in the darkness.

"After the dark war, things were really hard for me," Julian confesses. "I was twelve years old and had just killed my father to save myself and my siblings."

"I remember," Ty grumbles. He really isn't quite sure how this is supposed to make him feel better.

"I was responsible for all of you and I had to do it all on my own. Emma tried to help but you were my siblings. My responsibility." He sighs, running a hand over his face. "Sometimes the stress got to be so overwhelming I couldn't take it anymore. So I would go down to the beach at night and just scream."

Ty cocks his head to the side. "Scream?"

"Yeah. Scream. Just let it all out. I think it might help you. At least a little."

Ty pauses. He supposes it's worth a shot. He tries to summon the energy to let out a deafening yell. He thinks about Kit. That day at Lake Lynn. He thinks about Annabel stabbing Livvy with the mortal sword. Trying to bring Livvy back.

Not if you do this Ty.

No. Not now.

You never asked me what I wanted.

I love you Ty. I love you.

He didn't want to say goodbye to you.

You don't know what you've done.

You only thought of yourself.

I wish I had never known you.

Ty screams.

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat @littlx-songbxrd    @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @amchara @wagner-fell @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers @spooky-drusilla @arangiajoan

[adanseydivorce]

“What do you think they’re eating?” “Each other hopefully.” rip Livvy Blackthorn you would’ve loved Yellowjackets

[lesbiancressidacowper]

rip livvy blackthorn you would have loved ethel cain…

[obsessedwithbooksandmusic]

Well. I just listened/read the new post from the Secrets of Blackthorn Hall tumblr. And I want to cry. Like curl up into a hall and sob (haha sob and sobh, sorry that was stupid) Anyways, uhh CASSIE CLARE WHAT?? Like dude, that ripped out my heart even though it was just a few paragraphs. I thought Ty didn’t love Kit as much as Kit loved Ty but this changed my whole perspective of their relationship. So far, I know that Kit: in love with Ty, very much a simp, but knows when shit has been fucked up and therefore he is unable to fully forgive Ty for his mistakes. He still misses him though and it’s painfully obvious that he thinks about him a lot. That’s the secret he’s really been keeping from Tessa. Now for Ty: I think he is a perfect example of ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’, he realised that he truly needed and loved Kit, but too late. He also doesn’t fully understand why Kit was so pissed off and hurt. He really wants Kit again, but he doesn’t know how to get him back, and he does know that he has to wait for Kit’s forgiveness which was good. LIVVY. BBY. I feel so bad. She knows these two so well and yet she can’t do anything to save this relationship when she KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. And she’s stuck as a ghost, floating around the world, staying in the same form forever. This is depressing. OK BACK TO KITTY. (Also kitty??)

I love Kitty, and this post really helped develop their relationship a bit more, setting it up for TWP. One thing though, I really want a scene with Kit ranting about why he left. Cos Ty definitely wants answers, and Kit definitely would want to give them. Oh, how torturous it is to be have this ship be my OTP. The amount of anguish. Once I saw a post saying this is gonna be worse than Jordelia, and sadly I wholeheartedly agree. It already kinda is tbh. Oh Cassie, please save this relationship.

[blurrycow]

Doodles of the gang!

[royal-quotes]

Everyone always tries to protect me. Julian tries to protect me from everything. Livvy tries to protect me from being disappointed. She didn't want me to know that you might leave, but I've always known it. Jules and Livvy, they have a hard time imagining that I've grown up. That I might understand that some things are temporary.

Ty Blackthorn

[margareturtle]

The Blackthorns are the true masterminds fr

ANDREW — started it getting with Lady Nerissa (not just some common fair folk, but a high fae lady of the courts!!!) And having Helen and Mark who on their own could be high members of the court if they chose to (they’re shadowhunters of course but the potential is there)

HELEN — Is in contact with Nene and possibly some of her other cousins. Leads the LA institute, yes but she could become a Lady of the Courts if she chose to

MARK — On his own Mark has the support of the Wild Hunt on his side and he could be a member of the Seelie Court if he wanted to. Then he also has The King of the Unseelie Court who would do anything for him (and Cristina ofc)!! And then of course the Rosales connection and they can come and go from Faerie as they please.

JULIAN — you may be like Julian isn’t part faerie or in love with one BUT my man tricked the Seelie Queen AND he is with the wielded of Cortana (which can break the most ancient faerie blade!!!)

TY — obvi,, Kit would literally do anything for him and once Kit realizes the full extent of his powers, I have no doubt he’ll be unstoppable. The First Heir (whether Kit likes it or not) has immense influence over faerie. But also Ty on his own is def a threat, he’s incredibly smart and fast and willing to do what needs to be done.

DRU — I have no doubt that our Prince of the Seelie Court will be down bad for Dru. Will do anything for her. Also she has her own strength combined with the influence of all her older siblings, she is a menace. I have no doubt she can navigate faerie. Not to mention she and Ty both have immunity in the Unseelie Court bc Kieran wouldn’t let anything happen to Mark’s siblings.

TAVVY — tbd but He’s def gonna follow after his older siblings,, he doesn’t wanna be left out. Plus he is raised by Julian and Helen. And he could prob travel all throughout faerie by the time he comes of age and be protected bc that’s the youngest Blackthorn that no one can touch

In conclusion the Blackthorns have a monopoly on Faerie so no matter what ends up happening in TWP they come out on top

[aratilightwood]

Most of you sleep on the fact that Jesse was prepared to offer his last breath to Lucie when he thought she was in trouble, but didn’t hesitate to give it to James when he was near death after returning from Belphegor’s realm. And this really shows.

[bibiliophic-mermaid]

Friendly reminder,

Ty Blackthorn now has to live in a world WITHOUT Livvy AND Kit...

[hauntedredbeard]

Ty grew up so handsome. The girls must be all over him. Or the boys.

Livia Blackthorn

I'm saying that she knew, and she knows.

[sarahwatts20]

Dru laid her hand on Livvy’s door, as if she could feel her sister’s heartbeat through the wood.