#risky click dndads

[apricior]

honestly i'm lowkey disappointed in the finale, i was really hoping that risky click would appear and then say "it's riskin time" and then click all over the bad guys

[watchingyoufromthestars]

My dad said Risky Click sounds like the name of a fake bad guy name they’d use for cyber security of something and then he started talking like Scam Likely but for computers

[llumimoon]

GUY WHO IS OBSESSED WITH THE ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE MYTH WHEN HE REALIZES IT FITS HIS STUPID TRAGIC GAY DND PODCAST SHIP

[hermanunworthy]

Unprofessional Work Practices

"Never in his thirty years of serving the Papa in this honorable position has Risky dealt with such utterly incompetent employees. ...because those two are busy wasting each and every precious hour of their shift flirting rather than working. Right in the Papa’s sacred kitchen. Disgraceful."

4.3k words, oakworthy, outsider pov (risky click lmao), papa johns arc, silly fluff w a heaping spoonful of comedic homophobia

HAPPY BDAY @apricior!!!! ily kai i loved writing this silly ass fic for u. in our hearts we are still back in the papa johns flirty oakworthy era forever

read on ao3!

[coolestclowns]

So is the joker makeup just hermies skin at this point... it's been months hows it still THERE?? how'd he wipe off makeup ontop of it AND LEAVE IT UNTOUCHED??! the joker makeup is his skin... it's his SKIN!!!

[elgatodeltren]

I was laughing so fucking hard at how ridiculous the teens’ scams were but going back and listening to s1… I should’ve expected this

[inkedintothepaper]

Hermie changing into risky click: *puts on name tag*

[justablah56]

the best dndads npc poll is open for submissions and I'm just sitting here waiting for my mutuals who are obsessed with one obscure guy to pull up with Risky Click and Erin and Hero and etc etc

[apricior]

i'm probably the only person who remembers that risky click was 44 when he got blasted to death. [kicks a stone] nobody cares about him as much as i do

[viva-la-bohemia]

I swear to fucking god if people start shipping Risky Click and Lark I will eat a goddamn wall

[koszmarnybudyn]

As always my thoughts on the new episode!!!!

Spoilers for episode 16 of dndads!!!!

*love the vulture thing (Its fun to know Normal just likes mascots a lot)

*i really love when Anthony calles Normal Normally for some reason

*i did not realize the Lark is Sparrow plottwist at all, but i relistened to that part again and it was so clear! (The voice was diffrent, Lark was less likely to fall to that stuff, saying how Sparrow was kinda stupid and a hippie etc.)

*i enjoy the Oaks raging very much (i adoread Normal yelling at Sparrow -Lark and at Taylor, he just deserves to snap sometimes ya know?)

*Link was great this episode (he is honestly my second favorite at this point) he just speaks to me

*i have to update my Sparrow/Lark designs so they actually look the same :/ but i think they will look better

*little Scary yelling at people to buy her lemonade is so good (also Matt's story was awesome)

(can you tell i am running out of words to describe what i enjoyed?)

*Taylor has reflexes of a ninja and good for him (if he was real i would despise him as a person probablly but he is fun as a charakter)

*Matt saying that we will find out if link is a serial killer cracked me up (my boy deserves a little insanity for his troubles (also it would be kinda ironic if Grant didn't want him to become a "monster" like him but he turned out to be even more brutal) i love how Link can be sassy and stuff(i just love him, he honestly doesn't get apreaciated enought in this fandom)

*fuck Risky Click thst guy sucks!

*Hermie was just chilli g and i love that for him (i think he would just be standing in the backround looking at stuff or something when the chaos is happening around him

*i hope we get an actual Sparrow -Normal confrontation, again he deserves to snap and be angry at his father

*i feel like taylor is like really guialable to magic tricks

*Link figts like women in marvel films (just with his legs), and that is very cool of him i think,

*Tablerona!!!!! We saw an npc from seoson one!!!

*the curency being memories and emotions is such an intresting concept, i'm guessing that's what we will be doing for the next few episodes.

*Scary my girl, why are you singing to someones death? I know you have that whole punk-goth-i-don't-care-about-others-feelings-thing but wtf?!?

*Taylor is still doing his protagonist shit and i kinda love it

Also my doodles for this one: (i did a lot this episode also some of these might get turned into actual pieces idk) enjoy my ugly unreadable handwriting

[hermanunworthy]

To Be or Not To Be?

"With heads showing Hermie's face, the thespian could pretend that those decisions were genuine, while the drama mask for tails could excuse their more obviously villainous behavior. Little did their new 'friends' know that they were both just acts. Thank the theatre gods for this perfect role."

Five times Two-Face is forced to follow his coin's decision, and one time Herman makes one of their own.

10.3k words, oakworthy, 5+1 things, hermie pov, pining, set during ep17-20

prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | +1

also on ao3!

2.

Acting as Risky Click isn't too much of a challenge, despite Herman's limited interactions with and knowledge of him before The Main Characters brutally murdered him. There's just something about putting on a positive attitude that's meant to be disturbing and in-your-face rather than subtle and realistic that's so... comforting. Plus, he has a stylish moustache, so how could he complain?

He greets all the unnamed-background-characters that he calls "Customers" with the same off-putting grin, and it just goes to show that faking it does, in fact, make it. The shift manager can feel true joy as he witnesses memories being drained from each Customer, without having to inject himself with the Joy he already has in stock.

Maybe this whole Doodlerizing thing isn't so bad after all! Who wouldn't want to feel this happy all the time? When he gazes upon the hundreds of different flavors of pizza sauce, he begins to fully understand the true meaning of being "on the sauce".

Risky grabs the ticket with the most recent order. Apparently, this one calls for only one singular topping: Rejection. Easy!

He makes his way into the kitchen, his bones making sickening cracking noises with each movement of his body. Inside, he searches through the many, many jars of different flavors to find the one that has been requested. Young Love... Identity Crisis... There! Rejection!

Risky's smile, which has been unwavering this entire time, even when he has no audience to receive it, falters for a second. These were all quite familiar to him.

Well, maybe not him, exactly, but someone inside of him. Someone he's been trying to put a mask over for lord knows how long he's been working in this nightmare of a restaurant. Someone who nobody seems to accept, no matter how hard they try.

He can feel that person crying out inside of him, but he tries his best not to listen. "You must be used to being ignored by now," he says aloud through gritted, smiling teeth, "So just shut up and go back to being a background character!"

In this tense moment, the shift manager mindlessly ends up knocking over multiple jars with his clattering hands. With a cartoonish yelp, he ends up with three different flavors of sauce spilling from their containers into his open mouth.

The first sensation he feels when coming in contact with the raw ingredients... is his heartbeat stuttering, and then pounding heavily. At first, he thinks that he's just startled by the mess he's made, but now heat is rising in his face. Was one of the flavors spicy? His stomach is exploding with butterflies. Is he allergic to one of the flavors?

His brain won't let him focus, because it's too busy making him think about Normal Oak again.

Herman tried so hard to push the stupid mascot kid out of their head before, but now they could feel all of that effort unraveling. They could feel themself unraveling. Why are they thinking about Normal? Aren't they Risky Click? When did they become shift manager again? Who were they before?

What are they supposed to do?

With sudden clarity during this breakdown, Risky— Herman— Two-Face remembers his coin. He shoves his hand deep in his apron pocket, desperately digging for the tiny object. For one horrifying moment, Two-Face thinks he may have lost it, but when his fingers grasp metal in the bottom of one of his pockets, balance is restored.

He pulls the coin put and looks at it again, at long last. The poorly drawn face stares back at him dumbly. It is a face he hardly even recognizes anymore.

He remembers the last time he saw this coin. Particularly this side of it.

He remembers being himself, Two-Face, but he also remembers The Mascot Kid even stopping to listen to his advice before turning his back on him. He remembers the painful sting of rejection as well as he could any line from a script.

Two-Face looks around the kitchen. He doesn't know how long he's been here, how long he's been pretending to be Risky Click.

All the nonstop smiling catches up to him and now his face hurts. He raises a hand to his face. He is met with the warped, blistered texture of burned flesh, and he flinches. Another reminder of The Main Characters leaving him behind to die.

What would it be like if he did die in that awful cheese incident? Would they all just move on with their day and their mission as if nothing happened? Would Normal forget about their time together and go find someone else to fool him into loving them? At least Two-Face wouldn't have to be stuck running a disgusting restaurant by himself right now if the plot took that turn back then.

An idea hits him as he notices a telephone mounted on the wall. He literally has The Mascot Kid's number. He could march right up to that phone and call him right now. He could give that stupid kid a piece of his mind. One-half of it, to be exact.

The thought of getting to hear his mark's voice again makes his breath hitch. In annoyance. In anger. He pictures his face, with his phone pressed to it, breaking into a wide smile and saying his name. Not his name. His character name. His body is heating up again. Side effects of the pizza sauce. Or maybe he needs to turn down the termostat. This goddamn kitchen is burning him up. Again. His skin is on fire. He needs out. He needs Normal back, to heal him again.

Two-Face flexes the fingers on his right hand, wishing so badly that he could just tear off his skin. No, he doesn't need The Mascot Kid. Hermie is the pathetic one who needs to be saved. Hermie might've felt relief when Normal's hand, his real hand, free from the mascot costume, rested itself upon Hermie's chest and made them experience a glowing warmth somehow much more potent than the heat that had marred half their body. But Two-Face? Two-Face didn't need it. So what if Harvey and Bruce were best friends? Two-Face is still Batman's enemy.

And yet the Harvey-Hermie half of his brain betrays him, recalling Normal's determined face before he left. Their pinky fingers interlocking. Normal's desperate cries. "We will" to "I will".

Two-Face wishes he could stamp out the foolish hope still lingering in half of his heart. He is going to make sure hell is unleashed upon The Main Characters if they don't come back. Especially his mark. How dare he betray the betrayer.

Instead of reaching for the phone, he reaches for his coin. This will settle it.

He flips his coin. Tails.

He looks back up at the phone. Despite the decision already being made, he remains standing there, staring at the phone, a wordless expression of longing. He wonders what his mark is doing right now. He wonders if he's okay. He doesn't know why he's thinking like Hermie when he's supposed to be acting as Two-Face.

"Boss?" a voice suddenly calls, causing Two-Face to nearly jump out of his skin (and God knows he wishes he could). "We still need that pizza out! Customer's getting impatient!" There's a sound of glass shattering in the distance.

Oh, shit, that's right. He's not supposed to be Two-Face right now, either. He quick-changes back into Risky Click, with Young Love and Identity Crisis and Rejection stains still on his apron, and dons his creepy smile.

Time to go back to pretending everything's alright.

[apricior]

me trying to explain to my usamerican mutuals why risky click's death was devastating to me: this is like if hamburger died

[apricior]

imagine this

risky click opens a new pizzeria in heaven. he has finally been promoted, which means that his responsibility has also increased. however, that also means that he needs a bit more help taking care of his pizzeria.

and then he meets chugs macrame. a nice man, a highly competent accountant, who is always willing to help. and he needs someone who will deal with numbers (pizza was always risky's specialty, after all, the rest was a bit above him), so they decide to work together.

at first they are just colleagues. they get along perfectly fine, and even though it is kind of tough working with someone new at first, slowly they get used to it, and they learn to notice the small details about each other, like how chugs drinks his coffee, or the ways that risky's body cracks when he is tired.

at some point, routine becomes familiarity, and that evolves into something deeper, something more profound. late at night, they find themselves missing the other, wondering what the other's embrace would feel like. they have fallen in love with each other, slowly, almost without realizing.

it takes them a while to confess; after all, they are understandably worried about ruining their shared business. but it happens one night after closing, when it's just the two of them. one slips up and accidentally confesses his feelings, and the other just smiles and holds his hands, because he feels the same.

that night the partners become lovers, and for the rest of eternity they are thankful to share every day with the person that understands him best

[apricior]

can we talk about how gay-coded it is for risky click to be a shift MANager? like alright buddy. very sus