#rocksteady and bebop did nothing wrong

[bigbeautifulcartoonpeople]

Please I just wanna give them that happy ending they deserve 😭

[fabuloustrash05]

Is it weird that I'm waiting for the day Donnie and Mikey get called racist or colonizers because they also named two salamanders (Newtralizer and Sal commander)-? Especially the hypocritical Ramona haters (no hate to Donnie and Mikey and okay I don't really want this to happen but I still want people to realize Mikey and Donnie also named salamanders and not just Raph. Not to mention Donnie named a salamander way before Raph-)

No because I’ve been waiting for that too, but the people (mostly dumb kids on TikTok with nothing better to do) who are saying that are hypocrites.

They see something that is happy, healthy and unproblematic and they just can’t except that. Everything has to have a problem nowadays. So they go and attack Raphael and Mona Lisa despite it being the most healthy and unproblematic couple in the entire series!

But if you point out that Mikey is doing the same “problematic” thing Raph is doing they won’t go after him because he’s their sweet baby boy who can do no wrong. Despite him literally changing the names of almost every mutant character they have come across! Ex: Rahzar/Dogpound, Fishface, Bebop, Rocksteady, Mondo Gecko, and even Sal Commander!

At least, for Raph and Mona’s case, Raph offered her the nickname and she happily excepted it.

A lot of people seem to forget he didn’t change her name, “Mona Lisa” is her nickname, with Raph indirectly telling her that every time he calls her “Mona Lisa” he is telling her she is a beautiful work of art! Also Raph did try to pronounce her alien name but he struggled with it. “Oh but I was able to pronounce it-” GOOD FOR YOU BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN! IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PROPERLY PRONOUNCE HER ALIEN NAME.

For Mikey and Sal Commander, Sal introduced himself by his alien name and then Mikey was just like “Nah bro, I’ve got a better name” and Sal just had to deal with it. Mikey didn’t even bother to try to pronounce Sal’s name. At least Raph put in effort!

Now for Donnie’s case, when he first met Newtrailzer he was under the impression that he was just another mindless mutant experiment gone rogue that was created by the Kraang, so I kinda give him a past cause he didn’t know if Newtralizer had a name and was obviously not going to stop and ask him because, well, Newtralizer was attacking him!

Btw I want to clarify that I don’t think Mikey and Donnie are racist/colonizers, I’m just using the haters dumb logic and showing how ridiculous it is. 

[iztarshi]

87/Rise crossover snippet

“So, you’re big and spiky because you’re an alligator snapping turtle? That makes sense. Me and my buds got big and spiky once but for us it was a secondary mutation thing - it kept happening and then unhappening.”

“Did you like it?” Raph asks, looking at the smaller Raphael currently sitting on the arm of the couch.

“Yeah, no, it started doing stuff to our brains. We got stupider and kept fighting each other instead of following a plan, like Bebop and Rocksteady on steroids. After that, not fun.”

“Before that?”

The little turtle glances at the door to the room, almost guiltily, like he doesn’t want to be overheard. “Yeah. Kinda? I mean, I kept being proved wrong about that. Y’know, like Leonardo says, ‘brute strength is never as important as skill and cunning’.”

“That sounds like Leo,” Raph agrees, before remembering they’re not talking about his Leo, but the little Leo who makes hero speeches. The Leo who’d seemed to have more in common with Raph himself.

“Right? So. Brute force bad. Getting to kind of like my new mutation, wanting guns.” A shrug. “I still think it wouldn’t hurt to have some brute force. There’s nothing like being able to smash your way out of a tight spot.”

“Smashing things is awesome,” Raph agrees.

Raphael grins up at him. “See, you get it.”

[nrrrdgrrrl2002]

Attempting to explain the classpects I gave the main 6 (+ my oc)

Part 3- Donnie

Mage of Rage

A mage experiences and understands their aspect through experience and action.

Rage is negative emotions and feelings like anxiety, failure resignation and such.

Donnie… is anxiety incarnate.

“What if I’m not smart enough?”

“What if I fail?”

“What if she doesn’t love me?”

“What if he steals her from me?”

“What if I mess up?”

A lot of what donnie does and who he is comes from his anxieties.

From creating miracle inventions to working beyond his breaking point to create retromutagen to stalking april (which I don’t condone) to fighting with Casey, who he sees as someone who could take something he loves from him.

Donnie is a prodigy and does like the sciences, but it’s also clear that part of the reason he’s so dedicated to so many fields (chemistry, biology, mechanics, medicine, etc) is because of his fears of something going wrong because he wasn’t adept at something.

(This could stem from little donnie being attuned to splinters anxieties about caring for them with their whole situation and those anxieties seeped into Donnie’s incredibly intelligent head and motivated him to seek out knowledge that could be life saving for them)

Donnie learns throughout the series how to understand his anxiety and fear of failure in order to learn how to use them to motivate himself.

But he can also end up letting it weigh him down when he over experiences it.

Donnie is also very snippy. Raph may be the hothead but Donnie’s sarcasm and outbursts are downright iconic.

imma be real. Mage is the one class I always forget exists so I don’t understand it that well.

Like the only canon mage I remember is sollux and they really did not do much with him looking back.

Though I do have one thing that fits Donnie.

Mages in fantasy tend to be right hands of monarchs. Specifically Merlin being the mage for King Arthur.

A lot of fantasy mages use magic as a replacement for science in the fantasy based world and they’re highly relied on by the monarchs.

Like how Leo, a Prince of Blood, highly relies on Donnie’s almost magic like inventions to aid their team in fighting battles, like how Arthur relied on Merlin’s magic spells and potions and wisdom to help fight opposition.

One thing I do know about mages in homestuck is they do tend to have their talents abused, intentionally or not, until it causes the mage great harm.

(sollux… sollux did not have a fun time in HS)

This totally happens to Donnie.

There’s the “try harder!” Scene in fourfold trap,

there’s the turtles abusing his inventions despite them being a lot of work for Donnie to make cause they kinda see him as,

basically a magician who can whip up these amazing things like it’s nothing.

When I’m reality it is straight up painful for Donnie to make what he makes,

sacrificing his health to do it in ways such as not sleeping properly, not eating properly, not wearing protective gear while working with such dangerous chemicals and machinery, etc.

Donnie, as a mage, suffers a lot and has his aspect of Rage used and strengthened to make him more effective.

There’s two ways Donnie’s character arc can go:

He could use his rage aspect to make his feelings known to others so they give him the space he needs and he, in turn,

learns to keep his Rage aspect under control so that it doesn’t consume him but can still be used to continue to improve.

Or

Donnies anxieties are abused to the point that he emotionally breaks, becoming emotionally numb and no longer being able to utilize his rage aspect to improve,

causing him to decline greatly and become too emotionally numb to motivate himself to do his job/passions and continue to improve.

Donnie was kinda going down the latter route by the wanted: bebop and rocksteady special

but it could easily be turned around to the former since they’re no longer in a war so he doesn’t need to be as pressured.

[calliecat93]

TMNT 2k12

I’ve had such an upsurge of my TMNT 2012 content as of late haha. I wonder why? Did interest get renewed and I just never noticed? Meh. Anyways!

my all-time ultimate fave character: April O’Neil

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Hmm… that’s a good question. Slash maybe? IDK.

a character I used to like but now don’t: I still like him, but I grew more and more frustrated with Mikey as the show went on until by the time it was over I was just done with his lack of maturity/infantilizing in and out of universe

a character I’m indifferent about: Pretty much all of Shredder’s henchmen. Some started interesting like Fishdface and Tiger Claw, then just became one-dimensional by the end. Bebop and Rocksteady wertre probably the most entertaining, but them being brought baack robbed the other Foot Clan villaina and Stockman was just utterly wasted. Karai no longe rbeing a villain really robbed the Foot Clan any remaining depth.

a character who deserved better: April due to her plotline ultimateley being left open-ended with no resolution and Splinter if you’re aware of how everything with him ultimateley ended.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Pretty much any Mikey pairing. Him with Renet was cute, but Renet only appeared like… what? Three or so times? So that wasn’t much. Shinigami… IDK what they were even trying to do and they gave up on it almost instantly. Honestly I think Mikey is too immature to have a romantic relationship so I’m not in favor of most ships with him.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Probably the only one I’m still a fan of is Yoshi/Tang-Shen.

a cute, low-key ship: Raph/Mona. The other ship I’m still a fan of. No overdone pining that takes too long or teenaged stupidity, they just go for it with them and I love it. It works well for Raph’s character as well, he can at least brag that he has the most successful love life after watching Leo and Donnie be stupid XD

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: None I can think of. Maybe Apritello? IDK if it’s still popular or not, but you eeither loved it or hated it back when the show was airing. It has it’s issues witht he execution and how it ultimateley ended unresolved. But it’s still cute and I still love their relationship espcially when Donnie became better at handeling his feelings.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Are there any that became canon that I have issues with? Hmm… none come to mind.

my favourite storyline/moment: Storyline… hmm, IDK. My favorite episode is still The Invasion because a few bits aside, they got everything right int hat episode. The build-up, the tension, the action, the emotions,t he sense of dread as everything that we knew and cared for came crumbling down… it’s still the best episode(s) in the entire series. Which I feel the seocnd half of S3 REALLY mitigated it’s impact, but I’ll rant about that when I hopefully do that Ten Year Revisit series I want to do for TMNT.

a storyline that never should have been written: The Space Arc. A lotof S4’s issues could have been soloved had they just not done the space arc at all, or focused S5 on the Foot Clan front insterad of ending it at S4 and filling S5 with dide-stories. I have a theory as to whyt hat happened, but regardless the Space Arc ruined what should have been the biggest seaosn of the show as the main story reached it;s conclusion, but mad eit feel crammed and rushed as a result. Which we’d lost a lot of good stuff like the last three episodes of S3, the Aeon Crystal subplot, and Fugitoid, but if losing them allowed for a better story then that’s worth losing.

my first thoughts on the show: When TMNT 2012 premiered, I was in a huge slump. Aside form Wild Kratts, The Penguins of Madagascar TV series, and The Legend of Korra I had lost faith in animation. CN, Nick, and Disney had mostly lost my interest (CN I was especially angry at due to the CN Real situation) though Nick had regianed some faith cause of Penguins and LoK, Disney’s films while improving hadn’t regained my faith due to the CGI switch (I hadn’t seen Tangled yet), and RL matters at the time were giving me less and less time to be invested in it. I was more interest in classical animation and was pretty much set on staying there aside from the shows I previously mentioned. I put it on TMNT 2012’s premiere because nothing else was on and at the very least I could enjoy hearing Rob Paulsen. I was blown away. The animaiton, the fights, the characters, the voice acting, it was the best thing I had seen in a looong time. It was the first time I got up to see new episode premiered in years. I was new to Tumblr by then so I was able to ge tinvolved int he fandom very quickly, which really defined my Tumblr career. It was just so cool and I loved it~!

my thoughts now: The show was great, but not without it’s issues. It’s so much easier to realize and point them out now that it’s over and the euphoria has long since worn off. I gave up on it around mid-S4. I stopped watching the premieres and just slowed down until by S5, I’d oretty much stopped all together. My interest was dead. Int he early days I couldn’t imagine life without the show. But by then I was fully into othershows/fandoms and thus I had no problems washing my hands clean of TMNT 2012. Does that mean I hate the show? No. I still have all my DVD’s and comics, as I said I’m planning a 10 year series, and regardless of how it ended TMNT 2012 both got me into Tumblr/fandom culture (for better and worst) and renewed my love for animaiton. Hell it single-handedly made me go form hating CGI that wasn’t Pixar and blaming it for animaiton’s downfall to realizing how misguided that belief was and becoming more open-minded. TMNT 2012 was a huge part of my life, and I’m grateful for that.

[nights-legacy]

Ice Breaking Utterance-Donnie

Donatello 2014 Version

+ Y/N always felt like Donnie didn’t like her. In reality, he just didn’t know how to act around her. So he would act dismissive but never cross. One day, all of them are hanging out and Donnie cracks a quiet comeback to one of Raph’s one liners. Only Y/N hears it though and bursts up laughing. She gets strange looks from everyone but Donnie who starts to laugh too. One statement finally breaks the ice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N’s POV

It wasn’t the first time that I had been ignored and excluded by a single person. Not in the slightest was it the first time. But it was the first time it had been by someone I was actually close too. Well, not really close but by someone that I spent a lot of time with. I spent 80% of my time in the lair with the guys, April, and Casey. At least, three out of the four of the guys. Donnie for some reason…avoided me, ignored me, anything to where he didn’t have to deal with me. I don’t know what I did.

“And from what I heard Bebop and Rocksteady are living as comfortable as those two can.” Casey said. “The higher ups are still trying to figure what to do with them completely.”

“I say put them in a dark hole and forget about them.” Raph said from his spot at his weights. Everyone agreed to an extent. I settle back into the couch next to April as the guys conversed about the battle they had with the two idiot criminals.

“Do all men live in their past, like this?” I asked leaning into her shoulder with my arms crossed. She laughed.

“Most do. But I thought…” She trailed off for a second. We both looked back the guys then simultaneously looked at each other. “These boys would be the exception.”

“Apparently not!” I laughed hard. She joined me in laughing while I doubled over into her lap laughing and trying to catch my breath.

“Alright everyone! Gather round, I got the grub!” Mikey yelled as he came in with a tower of boxes. The guys all rush forward and passed out the boxes. The guys all chose places around the room only leaving only spot left for Donnie. I gave him a small smile as he sat down. He just gave me a blank look. I shrunk back a bit before turning back to the others. Casey was talking about some of his past assignments, trying to impress April I think.

“I remember this one guys that thought he was this really big, rough and tough guy when he was in reality a guy barely under 5 foot and weighed no more than 130 pounds. He was just a robber that got lucky then unlucky.” He kept going on and on with quips from Raph and Mikey.

“I guess that’s shows you how the criminal master minds aren’t as smart as they make themselves out to be. Trying to pull off things that are way out of their league.” Mikey joked around.

“Yeah, they try until we come along and squash every last one of them. Foiling their dastardly plans.” Raph said with confidence. Mikey and Casey laughed but Leo just rolled his eyes with a smile. I just shook my head and leant my hand on the back of the couch, spacing out until Donnie’s voice caught my attention.

“Scientists say the universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons, and Electrons. They forgot to mention Morons.” I choked and burst out laughing. Everyone looked at me in confusion. I looked at Donnie and smiled while still laughing. He realized that I heard him and started laughing too.

“What the heck guys?” Mikey asked super confused.

“Nothing Mikey. Don’t worry about it!” I said finally calming down. I looked at Donnie and giggled. “Not sure if you morons would understand. Good one, Don.” I said half expecting him to not respond. He smiled, chuckling and muttered a thanks before turning back to the conversation. I looked at him in shock before returning my attention as well.

*Time Skip*

A while later, everyone separated to do their own things. Casey left for home, commenting on having an early shift in the morning. Leo and Raph went to the dojo, Mikey took over the TV, April went to speak with Master Splinter, and Donnie retreated to his lab. I sat, a little apprehensive on the couch. I wanted to go talk to Donnie but was afraid he would be like before. I kept glancing at the door to his lab.

“Just go already!” I jumped at the voice and turning to see Mikey looking at me expectantly.

“What?”

“GO talk to the genius. I know you want too.” Mikey said pointing at the door with his controller.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I darted my eyes around, avoiding his gaze. I heard him scoff. Suddenly he was standing in front of me. I recoiled back in surprise.

“Bull.” He said before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. “It’s not unapparent the tension between you two you know. I have seen how he has been dismissive of you since the beginning. I also noticed the little moment you two had earlier.”

“Mikey…” He was walking towards the lab.

“No, no.” He set me down on the ground. “Go!” He shoved me into the room before shutting the door. I stumbled and fell the ground hard.

“Ow.” I groaned rubbing my elbow and sitting up slightly. I green hand appeared in front of me, spooking me a bit. I looked up and saw Donnie. I gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand. He pulled me up and helped steady me.

“Are you alright?” He asked. I nodded but winced as my fingers brushed a cut on the back of my arm. Donnie noticed and pulled my arm to him. He looked before guiding me farther into the room. I sat down as he got supplies to dress my cut. He silently got to work.

“Thank you.” I said not being able to stand the awkward silence. He looked up at me and sighed. I bit my lip as he finished.

“You’re welcome.” He said as he stepped back and leant against one of his tables. He crossed his arms before pinched the bridge of his beak. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” I looked at him surprised. He let his hand fall from his face.

“I’m sorry for the way I’ve acted. I had no right. I just…” He trailed off, looking away. I smiled.

“Go on.”

“I just didn’t know how to act around you, Y/N. I don’t even know why either.” He got up and started pacing. “You were just somehow different from April, Casey, and Vern. I just couldn’t act normal around you. My chest would tighten and my heart would start to race. Like it is now.” He began to ramble. I chuckled as I realized what he was saying.

“Donnie.” He didn’t hear me. I got up and walked toward him. He didn’t notice until I grabbed him by the tails of his mask. He yelped as I pulled him to me. He turned around quick and yelped again when I placed my lips on his. I pulled away and looked at him. “I understand and it’s okay.”

“What? Oh…umm.” He blushed and scratched the back of his head. I smirked. “That all makes sense all of a sudden.” I chuckled. He tentatively set his hands on my waist. “I went about this all wrong, didn’t I?”

“Yep.” I pulled him into a soft kiss. This time his kissed back. Growing comfortable, he pulled me closer and flush against him. “I guess you need to go thank Mikey for pushing me in here.”

“Oh, yeah. Now I know who I need to have a word with.” His face grew serious. He pulled back and grabbed my hand. We walked to the door and he opened it. He leant against the door jam and pulled me against his side, arm over my shoulders. “Hey Mikey!”

“Yeah?” He paused his game and turned around. He saw us and smirked. “So you two made up?” He wiggle his brow ridges. Donnie smiled and nodded. I saw Leo, Raph, and April standing off to the side.

“Yes we did. Thanks.” Mikey got up and bowed. He froze when Donnie spoke up again. “But…you need to be more careful Michelangelo. Next time one of your little stunts results in hurting Y/N again, you’ll wish you pissed off Raph instead of me.” Mikey pales, gulping.

“Oh no. I’m sorry! Won’t happen again!” He squeaked looking very worried. Raph burst out laughing and you could see Leo and April trying to keep it together. Mikey mocked a brave facade.  “So are you two like a thing?”

“Mikey!” April berated. He looked at her with a ‘what’ face. As the others bickered, Donnie and I snuck back into the lab.

“So…are we a thing?” Donnie asked. I smiled and thought about for a second but I already knew the answer. With a simple nod, I pulled him in for another kiss. A crash from the other room pulled us apart. The sound of Mikey’s screams and Raph loud threats gave way to the fact that they were up to their usual game of cat and mouse. “They can be big idiots. Sometimes I just want to beat myself hearing them act like this.”

“Self-Control, the only way to survive in a world full of idiots.” I said while leaning towards him. His eyes widened before he cracked up laughing like I did earlier to finally break the ice.

[shortend]

Scooby-Doo meets the TMNT

So, I've decided my new dream is to write and direct a direct to DVD “Scooby-Doo meets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movie featuring the original 80's turtles. The Gang heads to New York for sightseeing and get interrupted by mutants committing crimes. While trying to apprehend the suspects they end up crossing paths with the TMNT who were also responding. They all head to the sewer lair to regroup and share their findings.

VELMA: Those aren't masks, are they?

LEONARDO: Nope.

DONATELLO: Say, she's good. Solid deductive reasoning.

RAPHAEL: What gave it away, the lack of foam rubber or the beautifully articulated mouths? Even Henson can't build 'em like this.

VELMA: I need a moment.

FRED: There will be time for that later. First we need to figure out--

Fred tries to put a comforting hand on Velma's shoulder and is startled by her abrupt scream.

VELMA: (Screaming) I need a moment!

Fred freezes, withdraws his hand, and silently mouths “Okay” as he takes a step back and gives Velma her space.

Wide angle of the whole cast. Velma turns her back to the camera and puts her hands on her hips. Everyone stands awkwardly, trying not to stare but unsure of exactly what to do. Most of them are fidgety or visibly uncomfortable with the silence. After a moment of slow breathing and some neck stretches, Velma turns back to the group.

VELMA: Okay, you were saying?

----

Fred and Leonardo both try to take charge and struggle for dominance. Master Splinter suggests they track down the Shredder, because obviously.

----

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, dudes. While the fearless leaders over there hash out the deets, what say we partake of some major deliciousness of the pizza variety.

SHAGGY: Like, if we ever say no to an offer like that, we were probably replaced by impostors as some sort of devious master plan to take over the world. Lead the way.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah!

MICHAELANGELO: You're in luck, dudes. The kitchen is totally stocked so take your pick. We got fresh pizza, frozen pizza, do-it-yourself pizza, leftover pizza, room-temperature pizza, week-old pizza, pizza we don't remember ordering, gummie pizzas, pizzas with gummies, pizza sandwiches, English muffin pizzas, breakfast pizzas, which are basically pepperoni pancakes, oooooorrrrr...

Michaelangelo gestures to the immense wall-sized pizza oven with pride.

MICHAELANGELO: We could use the patent-pending Dona-langelo Mega-Delux Hyper Oven X to bake our own giant pizza and use other pizzas as toppings! Donatello made it himself to my exact specifications. Big. And awesome.

Shaggy and Scooby look unimpressed and stand with their arms crossed in judgment.

SHAGGY: Like, okay, so I know what you were going for, Michaelangelo, but if you had this thing over here, why didn't you just lead with that? As if there were any other option. Kind of wasting our time.

SCOOBY-DOO: Reah. We're burning dayright.

ALL: When we could be cooking pizza!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, Donatello! It's supervision time, bud!

DONATELLO: Just a quick warning in advance. This is a delicate prototype and it still has a few bugs to work out. At any point in the process either it or the pizzas could become sentient and try to destroy humanity, so have these books on ethics and moral philosophy at the ready just in case.

*Hi-jinks*

----

APRIL: Go get 'em, guys!

DAPHNE: Aren't you coming?

APRIL: What? Of course not! Not when there's a hot scoop like this. I gotta get to the office and fetch my cameraman.

DAPHNE: Cameraman? As in... television camera man? As in... television?

DAPHNE: Let's split up, gang. I'll go with April to the news station. You guys all go do that other thing you were talking about that’s also important. Go get 'em!

----

DAPHNE: So, is this how things usually go? The guys stumble onto something, tell you, you consult your contacts on the force, confirm your sources, alert the media, they disregard your seemingly outlandish claims despite overwhelming evidence, and then you jump into the fray at the last minute to help the turtles save the day?

APRIL: In times like this usually Vern and I, that's my cameraman, just circle the city in the helicopter or the van and wait for something to explode, or a giant monster to show up. Ooo! Or portals to other dimensions! Those are always popular. Sometimes we get footage, sometimes we don't. Then I just wait for the guys to stumble across something else. Most of the time it's the other way around.

DAPHNE: You stumble onto a case during one of your investigations, but it's too time sensitive to go to the police so you contact your vigilante allies and kick down doors together until you reach the heart of the matter?

APRIL: Wow, you make journalism sound so... empowering! Is it really like that where you're from?

DAPHNE: Not exactly. Just in movies and stuff.

APRIL: I see. I don't really have time for that sort of thing. I'm usually just going from one place to the next. I tend to do fluff pieces for events in the city. Then something goes horribly awry, I get kidnapped, and wait for the guys to rescue me.

DAPHNE: That sounds... I'm trying to think of a polite way to say this... taxing?

APRIL: It's a living. I mean, it should be. Most of the time my footage gets lost or destroyed. But every so often things go my way and I get my job back. I'm so lucky rent is cheap in New York.

DAPHNE: Oh, honey. You need a Daphne Blake career makeover.

APRIL: Oh, wow! What's that?

DAPHNE: Let's find out. Together.

APRIL: No, I mean, I think that's the Technodrome sending something from another dimension! What a story!

DAPHNE: Jeepers! I bet everyone else is already there. We’d better hurry.

APRIL: Not without my cameraman.

DAPHNE: Okay, but, what if there's something we can do to help?

APRIL: We aren't the story, we just sensationalize it. That’s how we help.

----

SHREDDER: Oh, so I see you’ve arrived to spoil my little plan. If only I had anticipated such an event after countless decades of almost ritualistic losses I've faced at your hands. If only I had something up my sleeves... like this!

A killer robot steps through the portal and falls flat on its face.

SHREDDER: Oh. Would you look at that. My backup plan didn't even get off the ground. I just. I don't even... Rocksteady, Bebop: Throw yourselves at them for a moment while I reflect on my life.

ROCKSTEADY: With pleasure.

BEBOP: Yeah. And casual disregard for our own safety and wellbeing.

KRANG:(Communicator) Shredder! Haven't you dealt with these interlopers ye-- are you crying!?

SHREDDER: No. I just... went a little overboard with the helmet polish this morning. I wanted to look nice.

KRANG:(Communicator) (Sighing) Look, I know things have been hard for you. Things haven't gone your way since... ever... but you're not alone.

SHREDDER: Really?

KRANG:(Communicator) Of course. Ever since I met you nothing has gone my way either, but there's something my dear Grandmama Krang use to tell me whenever I was feeling down. She used to say, “Krang, don't let hardship eat away at you. Amass an army. Strike out at the unsuspecting masses, and enslave them to do your bidding and worship you as a god!” I will never forget those words, and neither should you! Now suck it up, dummy, and slay my enemies! Bwaaaarb!

----

SHREDDER: You thought it was me sending those mutants in to steal random junk? Oh, that's rich.

LEONARDO: But, isn't that what you do?

RAPHAEL: That and get confused for a kitchen utensil?

SHREDDER: I've been out of mutagen for ages! Come to the Technodrome and take a look for yourselves. I've got nothing to hide. I was going up to the surface to investigate for myself where these creatures were coming from just in case someone else had discovered some mutagen that I could then steal, create an army with, and send them out to steal things I need to enact my plans for global domination. I've done nothing wrong.

VELMA: Well, if the subterranean mobile base trapped in another dimension wasn't a dead giveaway I can see why you were suspect number one now.

FRED: But if it wasn't the Shredder...?

LEONARDO: Then we need to find the real monster behind these monsters.

FRED: Nice.

LEONARDO: Thanks.

----

LEONARDO: Oh no! Scooby-Doo and Shaggy been turned into mutants!

MICHAELANGELO: Hey, dudes, how 'bout instead of demolishing the city, we all chill for a sec-amundo and gorge ourselves on some toasty pizza while the brainy bunch find you a cure?

Mutant Shaggy and Mutant Scooby savagely destroy the pizza parlor.

MICHAELANGELO: Those bros... are not... my bros.

----

MICHAELANGELO: Velma! Wait up!

VELMA: What is it, Michaelangelo?

MICHAELANGELO: The others have it all wrong! Those two dudes just now were not mutants!

VELMA: How do you mean?

MICHAELANGELO: I mean, like, well they could be.

VELMA: Your contradictions aren't helpful, Michaelangelo. Either they are or they aren't.

MICHAELANGELO: What I mean is, those dudes might be mutants, but those dudes are definitely not Shaggy and Scooby-Doo as mutants.

VELMA: Jinkies! Now I'm intrigued. Go on.

MICHAELANGELO: It was something they said earlier.

SHAGGY:(Flashback) Like, if we ever say no to an offer like that, we were probably replaced by impostors as some sort of devious master plan to take over the world.

MICHAELANGELO: But when I offered them some delicious slice-age, they totally did a number on the pizza parlor!

VELMA: That...

Velma takes off her glasses and rubs at her eyes. She has had a long day of dealing with mutants and inter-dimensional travel.

VELMA: That's not typically something I would consider hard evidence, but you're also not wrong. Even as terrifying mutants hellbent on the destruction of mankind, Scooby and Shaggy would've made sure they had scavenged the restaurant before destroying it.

----

That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I have actual work to do.

----

BONUS

IRMA: Do you have new friends? Are any of them cute? Are they single? Never mind. Answer the first two. I can take care of the rest.

APRIL: Not now, Irma.

DAPHNE: Is she okay?

APRIL: She’s always been that way. C’mon! We have work to do.

DAPHNE: Okay. (Shouting down the hall to Irma) Bye! Get help! I’m worried about you!

[rosespensandcoffee]

Stages (A 2016 Ninja Turtle Story)

They all contribute to the Butsudan, a household altar to commemorate a deceased love one. Incense, offerings of food, flowers, a picture…It’s a long path to get over loss and they all deal with the grief in different ways.

Warning: Death and how to handle (or not) it. A bit graphic and some swearing.

Chapter 2: Anger

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”

    The lair was again quiet in the early hours of the morning. The usual training was canceled for another day of healing. As the other residents were sleeping sounds of strain could be heard from their makeshift dojo. There, Raphael secluded himself and trained.

The red-banded turtle was taking out his aggression on a punching bag after another fight with his older brother. Heat and anger radiated off of him as blow after blow met the leather of the workout equipment. He had been at this for a few hours and still, his aggression wasn’t quelled. There was a time when fighting like this was calming. The exertion of energy leaving him as he grew tired, his anger forgotten, just the focus on the fight. There was a time when he had a sparring partner.

    Raphael had gone to his brother’s lab to vent but when he saw he was busy he decided to wait. He sat on a nearby chair away from Donnie as not to disturb him. It didn’t work as he planned.

“I’ll bite,” Donatello swiveled his chair to face Raphael who was currently bouncing his foot and repeatedly popping his finger joints. “What’s wrong?” He replaced the goggles on his nose with his glasses.

“It’s Leo.”

“Of course it is.” Donnie didn’t flinch at the glare he was given.

“He’s just so fucking high and mighty. Always telling me what I’m doing wrong but not helping! Just this morning he was grilling me on my form and he had that stupid smirk on his face, it just made me so-” he slams his fist on the work table, making the equipment shake.

“Okay, come with me.” Donatello made his way to the door. “You know, before you break something.”

Raphael huffed but followed his brother.

As soon as they entered the dojo Donatello went into a defensive position, fists up to protect his face.

“Come at me”

“What?”

“Come at me, throw some punches. You need to vent and I doubt fighting Leo is going to help.”

    Raphael shrugged and got into a similar stance. The two of them slowly circled each other, looking for any opening or weakness. Always the offensive type Raphael was the first to go in for a strike. He let loose a flurry of quick jabs that Donatello was able to narrowly dodge.

Raphael may not have been the fastest out of his brothers but what he lacked in speed he made up for in strength. He changed it up and faked a jab while going for an ax kick.

The kick connected with Donnie’s side causing him to stumble at the unexpected attack. Raphael smirked at his presumed victory. He barely noticed his opponent catch himself with a hand on the floor and plant his foot as a pivot point then…

Raphael was on his back looking at the ceiling of the dojo. ‘Did he just sweep kick me?’

“You have to be patient.” Donatello was looking down at Raphael, the light above obscuring his features. “You kept attacking wildly and even though that kick was a surprise I used it against you.” Raph takes the hand extended out to him and gets up.

“You were too smug and let your guard down. In the end, it took one attack to beat you” Donatello moves a few feet away and gets back into his stance and smiles. “Let’s try again.”

Raphael smiles and prepares for another fight. Donatello occasionally gives tips and helps correct stances and strategy, his voice calm and not patronizing. They go a few rounds, all the while having friendly banter.

Sparring with his older brother, his problems thrown to the wayside. These were some of the most calming moments for Raphael.

    Raphael grabbed a towel from a nearby chair and wiped the sweat from his face. He sat and took a moment to collect himself. It would look like the workout was what he was recovering from, but it was more than that.

‘This was all bullshit. Why did it have to happen to Donnie? He wasn’t the best fighter but he wasn’t stupid. What could have gone wrong? They had come home to find the lair a mess and Donnie… He was bleeding, his shell cracked like a-’

Raphael shut his eyes and clenched his fists as he was slumped over the chair. He wasn’t going to use that phrase, not after what they did.

    It was two weeks after the incident. Gang activity had been increasing and Leo thought fighting crime was a good way to get out of the lair and distract them. It was a standard mission, get in the warehouse, kick some teeth in, and leave them there for the authorities.

It was supposed to be a standard mission until they showed up.

“Hey Rocksteady,” The warthog, known as Bebop, called out to his partner. “Look who we have here.”

Rocksteady, a hulking rhino, stepped out of the shadows with his partner at his side. The ground shook with each step he took. “Ah, turtles. Where’s your other brotha?” As the two of them laughed Raphael gripped his sais tightly.

“Maybe I should give ‘em the same treatment.” He takes out his sledgehammer from his back as he says this. “Cracked his shell like a fucking walnut. Easy too, little pussy didn’t even give us a good fight.”

That was when they realized who had taken their brother. They talked cruelly of him like it was nothing. That was enough for Raphael. He used all of his force in his attacks, he intended to do some serious harm to these two. He was so out of focus that he hardly gave any damage but received a lot.

Leonardo and Michelangelo came to his aid, getting the two mutants far enough from him so he could recover. As he was going in for another attack he felt two pairs of hands on his arms, pulling him back. His brothers continued to push and lead him away so he wouldn’t go back to the fight.

They were running away.

“ Bye bye, turtles. Go on, run!”

Raphael felt sick.

    Raphael goes back to the punching bag. He imagined it was Rocksteady as he attacked it with punches and kicks. He took out all his aggression, his sadness, his rage out on it. He wished he could do this to the real thing. He was making plans to do just that. He was going to give them what was coming to them. His opponent began to change to someone else. Even if he had to do it alone.

    As soon as they made it back into the sewers Raphael turned on his eldest brother.

“What the hell was that Leo?!”

“Raph keep it down! They could be around”

Raphael turned back the way they had come and bellowed down the sewer tunnel, arms wide in challenge. “Maybe I WANT THEM TO HEAR ME!” The sound echoed off the walls.

Leo placed a hand on his shoulder “Raph w-” His hand was shoved away and he was met with the heated gaze of his brother.

“They were talking shit about Donnie,” Raphael’s voice was level but the intense rage was still there. “Those bastards were laughing about how ‘easy’ it was. And you…” He paces, his hands twitching from the pure anger coursing through him. He turns back to Leonardo and points at him accusingly. “You always preach that Bushido honor crap but what do you do? You run! You run when some fuckers are degrading our brother.”

“What good would it do?” Leonardo gets chest to chest with Raphael. His voice low and authoritative. “Do you really think we could have taken them Raph? We’re not in the right mind, especially you. We’re all still grieving but we can’t let our emotions get the better of us. When you get angry like that you don’t think. You’re reckless.” Raphael shoves Leonardo away.

“I would have gladly fought them for Donnie. At least I’m not coward.”

    Raphael kept up his assault as he imagined he was fighting Leo. “Who does he think he is?! Fearless leader my ass!” The thudding of punches echoed through the dojo walls. “Why did Master Splinter even make him leader? He’s so fucking smug and critical!” He imagined what it would be like having anyone else as a leader. Mikey was too easy going and easily distracted. He himself was too impulsive, he could agree to this sometimes.

The only other candidate would have been Donnie. He may have been annoying sometimes but that might be from hanging out with Mikey the most out of the brothers. Leo was too busy training while Raphael had little patience for the energetic turtle. Donnie was a saint in that department, sure he had his limits like everyone else but it took a lot to get him there. The patience of a leader and the wisdom. If any of them needed advice they either went to Master Splinter or Donatello. He had the traits of a leader but the best he could get was the right-hand man to Leonardo.

    He deserved so much better than this. He deserved to live a long life. Get a girl and possibly have a family. These things were unlikely to happen but now he can’t even try. He’s gone because of some fucker thought it would be funny. He’s gone and he wasn’t coming back.

Raphael stopped, he was breathing heavily as he tried to calm his erratic heart. As his angry haze began to leave him he noticed a soft sound, like raw rice grains being poured into a bowl.

Sand was coming out of the rip his sais made in the punching bag, falling to the floor in a small pile at his feet. He sighs and takes the damaged equipment down and puts it in a corner with other punching bags in a similar condition. Raphael re-wraps his hands and sets up another punching bag.

Ready to start the process over again.

“Anger is the emotion we use to avoid more uncomfortable feelings: confusion, fear, sadness.”

Check Story Links page for more chapters and stories. 

[fanfic-inator795]

I decided to rent TMNT: Out of the Shadows because Turtles and because I haven't seen it since it came out. Here's some thought/reactions:

- the opening bit with the Turtles jumping across the NYC skyline is a lot of fun ^v^ special mention to Donnie wanting to skip across the pool water on Raph’s shell (”Doitdoitdoit I won't stop until you do it Doitdoitdoit!” “Okay FINE!” Hehe) and the pizza delivery guy who could not give less of a flarp, lol

- in RotTMNT the turtles hide to watch a wrestling match. In this movie they hide in a Jumbotron to watch a basketball game. I kinda have to wonder if the RotTMNT epi opening was meant to sorta be a reference to the movie now

- idk if it's the voice or the glasses or what but Donnie gives off a much younger vibe in this movie than he usually does (especially in RotTMNT where I'm pretty sure he's second oldest and definitely acts like it. Here though he seems like he second YOUNGEST rather than oldest)

- the moment when Splinter encourages the turtles to go after Shredder, and Leo just grins and says “Thanks Dad!” Gah, cute ^v^

- I don't really care for Raph’s voice in this movie but, gonna be honest, he's still pretty awesome with some pretty sweet moves - especially with how he takes out the ninjas in the car chase scene

- “What is that thing?” “It’s a big-ass magnet!” ...that line is so weird coming from Donnie

- Bebop and Rocksteady are such bros in this movie, I love it

- “Raphael over there in the red, he’s like a big cuddly teddy bear! ...if big cuddly teddy bears were incredibly violent.” Lol, in RotTMNT he's both cuddly and violent

- I love when Raph and Mikey start to prank Casey Jones, Leo shakes his head at them and is mouthing “No” and telling them to stop, trying to be the 'responsible one’ but then just can't help but smile and laugh along with them. Love these brotherly moments

- buuuut then Leo blows it by trying to keep secrets from part of the team and not trusting them. He reminds me a lot of how Bruce/Batman tends to run his teams, still caring about his teammates but also still ruling with a bit of an iron fist and always wanting to do things his way/not always listening to other plans

- *does a fart joke* Yep, this is a Nickelodeon movie alright

- “We’ll never finish our hip-hop Christmas album!” What even, lol

- “There’s only one vote that counts in this family: Mine.” ...okay wow, screw you too, Leo. I mean, I get that leaders do kinda have to have the final say sometimes but at least have a discussion with your brothers before deciding! Man... I'm glad Raph as the leader in RotTMNT isn't nearly as bossy...

- The scene with the cops and the turtles is so sad... Poor Mikey :(

*tracking B&R* “Theyre traveling 36,000 ft in the air at 490 knots!” “Whoa, theyve achieved the power of flight! Good for them!” “...They're on a plane, Mikey.” “...Oh.” Favorite joke in the movie

- I feel so bad for him but at the same time Raph being afraid of jumping from the plane (and how he worries about his bros who are totally cool with jumping) is pretty cute ^v^ (...and then he nearly goes right into the jet engine. geez)

- *sees foot clan ninjas* “The good news is, you're all wearing ‘chutes. The bad news is-” *cuts to the foot being tossed out of the plane* lol. Also: “It's an interdimensional portal-opening thingy-ma-bob!” “Well, there's probably a more technical name for it.” Donnie pls

- *sarcastically* “Thanks guys... Real team effort.” Again, screw you too, Leo, don't act like you did nothing wrong

- while the turtle scenes are better and more interesting than the human scenes, I do get a kick out of the Will Arnett scenes in this movie. He's just a fun guy to watch

- “His name is... Krang.” “I don't know that guy, but I HATE that guy!” Oh Mikey

- ...I don't understand the end of the “should we change ourselves and become human” subplot in this movie. Like, idk maybe I'm just missing something but what makes Raph go from “I want a normal life!” to smashing the purple ooze can and saying they don't need it? I also feel like there's reconcile scene missing between the argument on the plane and the movie’s climax with the techno-drone. I mean... I guess it's implied that they just decided to push their issues aside to save NYC but, those were some pretty big issues. There should've at least been an apology scene between Leo and Raph...

- I love how Shredder betrays Baxter Stockman, and then five minutes later Shredder gets betrayed by Krang, and hes just as shocked about it as Baxter was with him. Like, you really weren't expecting that when it's literally what you would do, Shredder? Lol, why do villains trust each other?

“Hang on, lil bro!” “No one! Messes! With MIKEY!” D’aww ^v^

Alright so... Writing-wise the movie’s a bit of a mess, but it's still a ton of fun to watch ^v^ I definitely enjoy it more now after watching RotTMNT (and a bit of TMNT ‘87) than I did when this movie first came out, when I had no prior experience with TMNT and was just watching the movie cause there was nothing else in theatres. So yeah, I'd say it's worth a watch even if it is a bit of a mess, just for some funny bits and cute moments ^v^

[crypticbeliever123]

Chapter 9 of my TMNT Avatar AU fic on AO3. The chapter is titled, “Interrogation”. In it there’s a shocking reveal about Raph’s origins that I hope you enjoy! Please, let me know what you think of it!

About an hour after Raph took off, Hob found himself waking up in an interrogation room with Tang Shen and Master Splinter there as well. He tried to Bend in order to escape but remembered he lost that ability because of Raphie, the traitor. Nevertheless, his hands were encased in Firebender-proof cuffs. Guess the rat and his turtle brats didn’t mention what Raphie could do to the cops.

“So, according to your arrest records you go by Old Hob, is that correct?” Shen asked him.

“No, I’m the Fire Lord, ‘course my name’s Old Hob. It’s what I’ve gone by ever since I turned into a cat.”

“No need to get snippy. It’s just a question, and not even one of the more important ones.”

“Such as?”

“How do you know my son?” Splinter inquired.

“You’ll have to be more specific. From what I saw you got three brats who-”

“I have FOUR SONS! I asked you of Raphael, the Firebender who bested you in a fight this evening. How do you know him?” Splinter asked angrily, slamming his hand down onto the table.

“Oh! Raphie. Sorry, considering what I know of his real pops I didn’t even think he’d consider you his daddy. My mistake,” Hob said with a smirk.

“I am his real father. The man who brought him into this world was cruel and tried to murder him for a form he never asked to possess. He was no father.”

“Oh, so Raphie told you about him? Funny. He didn’t even tell me the whole time I knew him. I figured it out for myself, though. I’m smart like that.”

“Smart like those blockheads you pal around with?” Shen retorted.

“Hey, muscle’s muscle. It don’t gotta have brains to back it up long as the brawn can more than make up for it. And believe me, with how much like tanks those two are, they can.”

“Enough of this. I asked you a question and you have still not answered it. How… do you know… my son?”

“Raphie and I go way back. Back near the mutation event itself. I found him digging through trash in the Fire Nation for something to eat. Saw a couple of punks try to hassle him for being a mutant. He looked scared, but I wasn’t going to do nothing. Not my problem. But then I saw him Bend a blue flame and shoot it at the big one.”

“A blue flame? Like the Nightwatcher?” Shen asked, glaring at Splinter.

“Raphael is not the vigilante.”

“I’m sorry, vigilante? Nightwatcher? What the hell are you two talking about?”

Tang Shen turned her attention back to the cat with a groan, not wanting to mention the vigilante case but figuring it might actually get her some answers.

“There’s been a vigilante Firebender wandering the streets of Republic City, stripping Triple Threats of their Bending with the same technique the Shredder uses.”

“Oh. Then it is Raphie. After all, I didn’t lose my Bending by some freak accident, now did I?”

“You lost your Bending?”

“He’s lying.”

“No I ain’t. Now can I get back to my story? Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh right. So anyway, I stopped to watch what he was doing and saw this freaking 5-year-old pulling off techniques that I didn’t even learn ‘til I was in my teens. Sent those jerks running. Can you imagine? Four or five punks in their twenties running scared of a little kid. Figured there was something special about the twerp, so I took him and gave him something to eat. He told me about his old man and how he tried to kill him for turning into a mutant, but that he was also the one who taught him all those fancy moves he was using back in the alley. I figured with as good as this kid was he could be a useful asset to have around. Taught him a few things about Bending lightning to boot. Had him help me pull a few heists throughout the Fire Nation. But then the heat got too bad so we made our move on the Earth Republic instead. That’s where I recruited Bebop and Rocksteady for some added muscle. But Raphie? Raphie was getting sick of always having to be a criminal and tried to leave. I didn’t like that. I tried to convince him to stay by saying that he needed me to protect him from his old man. When he realized I knew who his daddy was, he got tense, angry even. He figured it out pretty quick that I was just using him that whole time. We fought. He ran. End of story really. Not much more to tell.”

“Uh-huh,” Shen said with a contemplative look on her face.

Splinter noticed and was a tad concerned.

“Shen?”

“You kept mentioning Raphael’s biological father as if he was somehow important,” Tang Shen replied.

“Course he’s important. Oh wait a minute. Wait a minute,” Hob said laughing, “You don’t know, do you? I was figuring with how angry the rat here got when I referred to the Shredhead as Raphie’s daddy that you must’ve known who he was. Guess I was wrong.”

“The Shredhead? Do you mean… Are you saying that Shredder is-”

“No! That’s a lie! Raphael is not the Shredder’s son! They are nothing alike!” Splinter shouted, getting close to Hob’s face to scowl at him with seething rage.

“Nothing alike?” Hob asked before bursting out laughing.

“I’m sorry have you met Raph? Not only does he got just as bad a temper as Shredder has but he’s just as good a Bender too, maybe even better. I mean sure, there’s plenty of people out there with tempers but how many do you know who can Bend a blue flame and sever someone’s ability to Bend at all? I’m sure there’s other things those two have in common. ‘Course I never met Shredder. You have though, right? After all, you’ve known Shredder since you was kids and you seem to know Raphie pretty well despite the gaps in your knowledge of his family history. You really going to tell me they don’t have more things in common? Similar likes? Similar dislikes? Pet peeves, nothing?”

Splinter’s glare intensified before softening a bit in resignation.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. You might think you’re Raphie’s daddy, but he hasn’t forgotten where he’s from or who taught him how to Bend so good. You might’ve given him a home and a nice, happy family… but Shredder? Oroku Saki? … He’s the one who made him what he is. Ain’t nothing you can do to change that. He may be a part of this little family you made for yourself… but he’ll always be Oroku Raphael deep down inside. He’ll always be the Shredder’s son; an angry but talented Firebender who can’t be stopped. Believe me, I’ve tried. In both instances.”

“Both instances?” Shen inquired.

“I didn’t just recruit Bebop and Rocksteady ‘cause I needed some goons to help me commit crimes or nothing. No, if the old Shredhead wants a fight, then I’m taking the fight to him. I got a whole mutant army set up to take the maniac down. That’s why I’m in Republic City; to recruit more mutants… and to go to war. Don’t know if you know this but Shredder’s in town. Has been for a few months just biding his time for the perfect moment to strike.”

“Shredder’s been this close all this time?” Shen asked out of shock.

“We have to prepare a search. We cannot let Shredder evade justice again.”

“‘Course since Raphie made a big scene at that Pro-Bending tournament, you probably won’t even have to worry about him for a while.”

“What are you talking about?” Splinter asked, curious where Hob was going with this.

“This is the Shredder we’re talking about. You really think he’s going to let his mutant son go walking around all able to tell people they’re related and ruin his rep?”

“He’ll have the Foot Clan kill him just to keep this secret. Where is he?” Shen asked Splinter.

“I… do not know. He ran away after the fight with Hob and his associates was over.”

“Then we have to find him. Preferably before Shredder does.”

“Good luck with that. Raphie’s real good at disappearing when he wants to.”

[aion-rsa]

Will the New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Be a Reboot?

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In a story likely to evoke a bit of déjà vu, yet another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie is reportedly in the works, with SNL Weekend Update co-anchor Colin Jost set to co-write the script with brother Casey Jost, awaiting a yet-to-be tapped director. However, news on this particular project arrives a mere five years after the franchise’s last live-action iteration released its sequel and presumed swan song, 2016’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows, leaving a possibility that the new movie might just be a threequel. Moreover, like its predecessor, the mysterious movie project will be a production of Paramount Pictures and the very same producers, notably the auteur of onscreen explosions himself, Michael Bay. So, are we getting a new iteration of the Turtles or not?

While the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie project, as reported by Deadline, has a tight lid securing indicative details such as its plot, the hiring of the Jost brothers—comedy writers and complete newcomers to the action genre—seemingly hints a levity-leaning script; a prospective tonal shift that would boost the notion of it being a reboot. Indeed, the screenwriting personnel for director Jonathan Liebesman’s 2014 Turtles movie had action-focused screenwriters in Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol’s André Nemec & Josh Appelbaum and Snow White and the Huntsman’s Evan Daugherty. Likewise, director Dave Green’s 2016 sequel, Out of the Shadows, had Nemec and Appelbaum return to co-write with franchise co-creator Peter Laird. However, the new project’s reported producer lineup of Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Scott Mednick and Galen Walker is, without exception, a full-on reunion of those last two films, which boosts the notion of a threequel.

Therefore, the question that should be asked is if there is an audience for a continuation of the films launched by 2014’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The film certainly came to the table with iconoclastic intentions, showcasing renditions of foursome Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello that were redesigned, to borrow their parlance, radically. The look of the reptilian ninjas was altered in their physical appearance, especially with faces that bore eerily human animations—as facilitated by motion capture technology applied to the actors portraying them—and their traditionally minimal sartorial preferences saw the addition of chaotic, scrap-made accessories and armor suggestive of their sewer-dwelling digs. However, the film itself was a paradigmatic product of Bay’s Platinum Dunes company, and therefore manifested as an onscreen attempt to give the Turtles the big screen Transformers treatment of a high-impact, CGI-imbued popcorn flick.

The formula yielded a cinematic offering that, akin to the Transformers films, reaped rich box office rewards in spite of widespread critical nonchalance. Auspiciously, the Turtles’ 2014 film grossed around $191 million domestic and $293 million internationally, with an overall tally of $485 million. It was a score that even far-surpassed the $201 million global gross of the esteemed, beloved and culture-impacting 1990 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie—even accounting for inflation, which only upped the original’s tally to $364 million in 2014 dollars. While its may not have made the same kind of widespread pop culture impact as the 1990 movie, it did have a ubiquitous presence, especially in the toy aisles, which were flooded with new Turtles merchandise across myriad style forms. Thusly, the 2014 movie was a certified hit, and a sequel was naturally on tap, and quickly arrived less than two years later.

Read more

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What Went Wrong With Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze?

By Jack Beresford

Games

Why the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Games Were an Essential Part of ’90s Gaming

By Matthew Byrd

Unfortunately, the redefined novelty of Transformer-ized Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might have already worn out its welcome with moviegoers by the time Out of the Shadows hit in 2016, since the franchise’s constantly frenetic onscreen approach created a dynamic in which the plot plays second fiddle to the expensive onslaught of action; a dynamic not only duplicated in the sequel, but intensified. Despite the sequel’s attempt to tap the well of nostalgia by reviving beloved, campy concepts from the classic cartoon series—notably a rogues gallery that saw Shredder joined this time around by squishy other-dimensional brain creature Krang, mad scientist Baxter Stockman and mutated thugs Bebop and Rocksteady—the sequel, like its predecessor, was widely dismissed as a fun, but forgettable affair. This notion was reflected at the box office, where Out of the Shadows only managed to gross around $82 million domestic and $163.5 million internationally for a global tally of $245.6 million—nearly half of said predecessor and a dramatically expedited example of the law of diminishing returns.

Thusly, followers of Hollywood inside baseball have long dismissed the idea of a third entry from Platinum Dunes’ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles onscreen spectacles, and rumors of another reboot have permeated ever since. Additionally, Raphael actor Alan Ritchson has since thrown serious shade on the allegedly-torturous process of the two films and their insultingly low pay. The notion of imminent downgrading is now exacerbated by intrinsically altered circumstances for the industry in a post-pandemic world. Pertinent to that point, we will more than likely see significant belt-tightening by Paramount going forward for this new movie, which should stand in stark contrast to the respective $125 million and $135 million budgets of the 2014 and 2016 movies. That idea, in its own right, puts significant weight on the notion of this project being a reboot, rather than a continuation. After all, even the template-setting Transformers movies themselves have since tempered their once grandiose designs, as evidenced by 2018’s Bumblebee, which served as a cold-intro spinoff to a rebooted cinematic continuity, and bore a conservatively budgeted $135 million compared to the $217 million allocated for 2017’s Transformers: The Last Knight. It’s therefore reasonable to assume that Paramount has similar designs for the Turtles this time around.

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Of course, nothing has been confirmed about the status of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie as of yet, and Paramount could still surprise everyone with the announcement of an unlikely (and seriously risky) threequel to an iteration of the franchise that seemingly already ran its course. However, we do know that the movie will be complemented by a member of its Nickelodeon-owned property family, since a new animated Turtles series also happens to be in the works, having been announced last year, this one produced by Seth Rogen’s Point Grey. Consequently, expect a new barrage of all things TMNT soon enough.

The post Will the New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Be a Reboot? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3io5Ivc

[setoangel01-fanfiction]

Speculation

Crazy - Chapter 24 (Previous Chapters)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Raphael tries to rationalize April's behavior with horrifying…or maybe hope-filled results.

Fanfiction.net

A03

Raphael sat silent; the springs protesting his weight had not so much as squeaked since he plopped himself of the couch after hanging up on Donatello more than three hours ago.

His mind aflutter with things he dared not want to encounter.

Confusion…

Questions.

Wondering just where the hell had he'd gone wrong?!

Raphael swore to the highest power that there had to be something between him and April. A friendship that had been nurtured and growing rapidly over the past two years; a hopeless infatuation he had been cast under its spell for far too long. Ever since learning her name or getting a glimpse into those endlessly blue eyes or grasping her dainty hand for the first time. How April didn't even flinch the second her soft, warm flesh touched his cool hardened scales.

It was as if he wasn't a freak to her - that the horrid creature he saw in the mirror every fucking day was not what she seen whenever she openly looked at him.

That moment he saw her over Splinter, trying her hardest to move that chunk of rock off his master - Raphael had saw her differently. Where he'd once been so angry at this human seeing them and all their horrid appearances - it all faded to dust with April O'Neil. A breathtakingly beautiful woman who was more curious than afraid; more daring than prejudiced, more loving than hating. Someone who looked beyond what they were on the outside when he doubted anyone could ever do such a thing.

All his life, he distrusted humans. Believing if they were ever caught, they'd be tortured, experimented on before being killed, dissected, stuffed, and put on display for all of humanity to mock and gawk at - cold, lifeless glass eyes staring back at their horrified faces for the rest of eternity.

Yet that's not how it went…

Those rare times he had to reveal himself to people to save them; recalled mostly prostitutes, druggies, and the severely intoxicated as the only ones to had seen him (not including Casey and the few members of the NYPD of course). Some would scream or run, others would just marvel, and even the choice few tried to approach but Raphael rarely stayed in those situations. Swiftly scaling buildings with great ease to get out of their line of sight and hope they drummed up their experience as a strange dream, trick of the eye, or side-effect of their drug of choice. Wake up the next morning and just accost it to some strange dream or nightmare…at least he hoped.

Raphael wasn't sure what to expect when April took that picture of them atop that building that night. Hadn't the faintest idea what to expect when he grabbed her with a kurisagi chain and pulled her screaming form toward them. The second she gained her bearings, Mikey introduced himself and April promptly fainted - that, he expected. What he didn't expect was the outright calm she was upon awakening minutes later; looking each of them in the eyes…warm cornflower blue eyes meeting his as if it was nothing when no human ever dared meet his golden gaze before.

In an instant, he knew something was different about her.

April O'Neil was so unlike those few humans he encountered before. Calm, level-headed, and respectful while greeting his master; speaking softly and listening intently.

Raphael's once-impenetrable heart didn't stand a fucking chance...

During their mission to save Splinter, there were moments she latched onto his arm, slipped by his side and wasn't afraid to lean against him. More as if she was searching for shelter and damn, did he ever want to protect her. So fragile, dainty, and beautiful - like a damsel in distress hat needed rescuing but one thing was for sure, April proved she could hold her own. Recalling that moment on the rooftop - no fear in those eyes as she bellowed at Shredder, effectively distracting the tin can from further attack. How nearly two years later, without any hesitation, she'd broken into the New York police station and was willing to go to prison to set them free…

How afraid he had been in that moment. Meeting her eyes and how easily he read them; she wanted him to go - to be the one to protect him for a change… In that moment, one overcome by fear and anxiety of the future, one thing was painfully clear - he was helplessly in love with April O'Neil and had been for quite some time.

Over the course of their strange friendship the past two years, it was bound to happen. All they'd been through with Shredder, Karai, Kraang, Bebop, Rocksteady, Baxter Stockman, and even Casey Jones - all this time, Raphael really believed April was feeling something too.

Trying to rationalize the fact that the brunette sought him out; took time out of her busy schedule to grace him with her presence on numerous occasions. So easily she talked to him about serious matters or nothing in particular. The barest hints of her fingertips gliding over his thick reptilian skin without prompting; touching him without prompt - as if she wanted to. The multiple times she embraced him; fingers gently probing into his side as she rested her head and unbelievably soft breasts upon his plastron, her hair tickling the sensitive grooves. Multiple nights they watched movies at her place - how halfway during, almost like clockwork, April would rest her head on his bicep; curling her body closer to him and allowing him to revel in her incredible warmth…

…and that kiss…

A night not too long ago still so vivid in his mind. The brunette gently pulling his face toward her and how others would gasp and flinch at such a horrid sight - she smiled. Her eyes slipping closed before she closed the distance and pressed her petal soft lips upon his rugged cheek. For that fraction of a second, it was as if something that had at once seemed so unfathomable to him - so unreachable…was finally in grasp.

The possibility of this beautiful human who'd stolen his heart so long ago…might, just maybe…possibly love him back…

Raphael's normally pessimistic side came out in these moments.

How unrealistic all of it was - how kind April was to others and touchy with more than him. Sure, she may have found him good company and they had been friends for so long. Friends hug, lean on each other, and good friends even kiss each others cheeks occasionally if television shows were at all accurate about human interactions. It could have been just wishful thinking or his own desperate infatuations with her to create these scenarios and amplify them to make it more than it is…for really, how could someone like April love anyone like him?

It dawned on him now.

Donnie's words of April's location, her lying to him about returning, and the fact she had been alone with Casey all night doing God knows what hit him square in the gut. How all of the moments he had with her prior - the ones he treasured in his mind and heart; hoping to look back at them as beautiful foreshadowing of possibly him being with her…all of those moments…

…could have really meant absolutely nothing to her…

To consider the fact it took him until this very moment where he'd finally comprehended that April had indeed spent the night at Casey's to figure it all out.

Perhaps he was the idiot in this all along.

Reluctantly watching the ease in which Casey and April communicated only after half a year of knowing of each other's existence. The look on her face and sparkle in her eyes when she first saw the masked, hockey-stick wielding detective...

Raphael wasn't stupid - he saw the way Casey looked at her and vice versa - the attraction that was almost immediate between them - as intensely nauseating as it was. Yet, even he would even admit (under threat of death only) that Casey was semi-attractive for a human. Just another physically fit pretty boy with a fancy muscle car, annoyingly charming personality, and perfect white teeth - what girl wouldn't at least notice him?

…Raphael just figured April was different…

That she appreciated personality and loyalty to physical appearances…why else would she have spent time with him anyway if that wasn't true?

At first, the thought caused him some comfort. Especially since April and Casey's initial first weeks after meeting, she stopped seeing him regularly when they were spending almost every other day together. It was initially troubling to see April and Casey's relationship happen almost immediately as Raphael tried to swallow back his growing feelings for the beautiful brunette. He didn't worry long for April started calling him more; going to the lair and seeking him out. Their easy friendship kicking right back up where it left off and all of a sudden, those fears of her and Casey started drifting but never fully went away…for good reason.

Raphael let out a deep breath, the soda perched in his hand long since warm as he took a swig of it; the bubbles burning his esophagus all the way down. Crushing the now empty can in his hand until it remained nothing more than a small ball of aluminum didn't satisfy him like usual. Mind far too adrift with very real fears and anxieties that plagued him; how little he saw of Casey but how April mentioned him all the time. The hours she spent with him Raphael knew nothing about…

The one he dreaded most was realizing…

…he was right all along.

Perhaps there was more to it than met the eye. How April was probably well aware of his dislike for Casey and so she kept whatever relationship they had a secret from him in fear he'd explode and hurt him in some facet. April's kindness toward him and wanting to protect him emotionally could also be a factor. Maybe they'd already been dating; perhaps they were already together but the only reason she kept hanging out with him was out of some sort of pity. Seeing how cooped up he was in the lair if their shared texts were any indication of his mindset.

…maybe that's all he was to her…

A friend she spent time with out of some weird sense of obligation to keep him in line. To ease his anger issues for everyone knew what a calming effect she had over him. That maybe all this time, she never wanted any part of this. Only kept in contact because he was cleaner and better company than his overbearing brothers. That April saw him more as a part of her family; a brother or cousin she liked to hang with but nothing more…Yet, why the hell would she go so out of her way to spend so much time with him, buy his favorite snacks, and rent his favorite types of movies? He sure as hell didn't go that far for his brothers so why the hell would she?

Raphael took a deep sigh; shoulders deflating as it left his system.

…Maybe he was just over-analyzing this entire situation. Sure, he may be paranoid and pessimistic but it felt easier to be that way rather than optimistic about the circumstances.

Yet another side of him stopped in his tracks.

Thought about Donnie's words before he hung up on him what already felt like a lifetime ago. More reasonable explanations flitting about his troubled mind and perhaps…it was a simple misunderstanding like Don was trying to tell him.

Other scenarios he hadn't yet considered.

It could have been as simple as Casey taking a puck to the nuts and needed to be taken the hospital. April, being way to fucking nice for her own good, probably stayed to make sure he was okay; her phone dying during the time and she had no way of contacting him to say she wouldn't be home. The very thought had a partial smirk lifting his lips and the more he thought about it, the more it seemed to make more sense than anything had thus far. Maybe Donnie was right…ya know, like always and he was being spastic and unreasonable…again, like usual.

Reminding himself that this was April - the incredibly beautiful, loyal girl he'd known for two years. The one who never let him down before and went above and beyond the call of duty during her time in helping them take out the crime in the city. An irreplaceable ally and constant companion who had never judged them. The same one who he watched movies with, shared popcorn, and spent so any nights getting lost in her eyes and contagious laughter. Woman who touched him and curled up next to him; smiling and looking at him as if he wasn't a six foot tall freak of nature. Looking at him as if he was valuable, loved, and a wonderful friend in her eyes…it was all the same April whom he was still waiting for to come home.

So…maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding.

That any time now, she would waltz in the door, smile, apologize for her absence; explain that Casey got hurt or injured as an excuse for her absence. That he'd gotten hit with a puck and hopefully even lost a few of his perfect teeth and had to spend the night in emergency dental surgery. In Raphael's opinion, it would serve the pretty boy right…

A sudden burst of hope filled his chest; craning his stiff neck up to realize the sun had since fallen from the sky. What used to be a bright sunny morning last time he checked was now trickling into early winter evening…and April was still gone.

Swallowing back a lump of anxiety, Raphael stood to his feet to resume his frantic pacing when a sudden sound of a key pushing and turning in the lock filled his ears.

[residenttechnomancer]

Stages. Chapter 2

Fandom: TMNT Bayverse (2014/2016)

Warnings: Implied character death, grief, and swearing.

They all contributed to the Butsudan, a household altar to commemorate a deceased loved one. Incense, offerings of food, flowers, a picture...

It's a long path to get over loss and they all deal with the grief in different ways.

Anger

“Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.”

    The lair was again quiet in the early hours of the morning. The usual training was canceled for another day of healing. As the other residents were sleeping sounds of strain could be heard from their makeshift dojo. There, Raphael secluded himself and trained.

The red-banded turtle was taking out his aggression on a punching bag after another fight with his older brother. Heat and anger radiated off of him as blow after blow met the leather of the workout equipment. He had been at this for a few hours and still, his aggression wasn’t quelled. There was a time when fighting like this was calming. The exertion of energy leaving him as he grew tired, his anger forgotten, just the focus on the fight. There was a time when he had a sparring partner.

    Raphael had gone to his brother’s lab to vent but when he saw he was busy he decided to wait. He sat on a nearby chair away from Donnie as not to disturb him. It didn’t work as he planned.

“I’ll bite,” Donatello swiveled his chair to face Raphael who was currently bouncing his foot and repeatedly popping his finger joints. “What’s wrong?” He replaced the goggles on his nose with his glasses.

“It’s Leo.”

“Of course it is.” Donnie didn’t flinch at the glare he was given.

“He’s just so fucking high and mighty. Always telling me what I’m doing wrong but not helping! Just this morning he was grilling me on my form and he had that stupid smirk on his face, it just made me so-” he slams his fist on the work table, making the equipment shake.

“Okay, come with me.” Donatello made his way to the door. “You know, before you break something.”

Raphael huffed but followed his brother.

     As soon as they entered the dojo Donatello went into a defensive position, fists up to protect his face.

“Come at me”

“What?”

“Come at me, throw some punches. You need to vent and I doubt fighting Leo is going to help.”

Raphael shrugged and got into a similar stance. The two of them slowly circled each other, looking for any opening or weakness. Always the offensive type Raphael was the first to go in for a strike. He let loose a flurry of quick jabs that Donatello was able to narrowly dodge.

Raphael may not have been the fastest out of his brothers but what he lacked in speed he made up for in strength. He changed it up and faked a jab while going for an ax kick.

The kick connected with Donnie’s side causing him to stumble at the unexpected attack. Raphael smirked at his presumed victory. He barely noticed his opponent catch himself with a hand on the floor and plant his foot as a pivot point then…

Raphael was on his back looking at the ceiling of the dojo. ‘Did he just sweep kick me?’

    “You have to be patient.” Donatello was looking down at Raphael, the light above obscuring his features. “You kept attacking wildly and even though that kick was a surprise I used it against you.” Raph takes the hand extended out to him and gets up.

“You were too smug and let your guard down. In the end, it took one attack to beat you” Donatello moves a few feet away and gets back into his stance and smiles. “Let’s try again.”

Raphael smiles and prepares for another fight. Donatello occasionally gives tips and helps correct stances and strategy, his voice calm and not patronizing. They go a few rounds, all the while having friendly banter.

Sparring with his older brother, his problems thrown to the wayside. These were some of the most calming moments for Raphael.

    Raphael grabbed a towel from a nearby chair and wiped the sweat from his face. He sat and took a moment to collect himself. It would look like the workout was what he was recovering from, but it was more than that.

‘This was all bullshit. Why did it have to happen to Donnie? He wasn’t the best fighter but he wasn’t stupid. What could have gone wrong? They had come home to find the lair a mess and Donnie… He was bleeding, his shell cracked like a-’

Raphael shut his eyes and clenched his fists as he was slumped over the chair. He wasn’t going to use that phrase, not after what they did.

    It was two weeks after the incident. Gang activity had been increasing and Leo thought fighting crime was a good way to get out of the lair and distract them. It was a standard mission, get in the warehouse, kick some teeth in, and leave them there for the authorities.

It was supposed to be a standard mission until they showed up.

“Hey Rocksteady,” The warthog, known as Bebop, called out to his partner. “Look who we have here.”

Rocksteady, a hulking rhino, stepped out of the shadows with his partner at his side. The ground shook with each step he took. “Ah, turtles. Where’s your other brotha?” As the two of them laughed Raphael gripped his sais tightly.

“Maybe I should give ‘em the same treatment.” He takes out his sledgehammer from his back as he says this. “Cracked his shell like a fucking walnut. Easy too, little pussy didn’t even give us a good fight.”

That was when they realized who had taken their brother. They talked cruelly of him like it was nothing. That was enough for Raphael. He used all of his force in his attacks, he intended to do some serious harm to these two. He was so out of focus that he hardly gave any damage but received a lot.

Leonardo and Michelangelo came to his aid, getting the two mutants far enough from him so he could recover. As he was going in for another attack he felt two pairs of hands on his arms, pulling him back. His brothers continued to push and lead him away so he wouldn’t go back to the fight.

They were running away.

“ Bye bye, turtles. Go on, run!”

Raphael felt sick.

    Raphael goes back to the punching bag. He imagined it was Rocksteady as he attacked it with punches and kicks. He took out all his aggression, his sadness, his rage out on it. He wished he could do this to the real thing. He was making plans to do just that. He was going to give them what was coming to them. His opponent began to change to someone else. Even if he had to do it alone.

As soon as they made it back into the sewers Raphael turned on his eldest brother.

“What the hell was that Leo?!”

“Raph keep it down! They could be around”

Raphael turned back the way they had come and bellowed down the sewer tunnel, arms wide in challenge. “Maybe I WANT THEM TO HEAR ME!” The sound echoed off the walls.

Leo placed a hand on his shoulder “Raph w-” His hand was shoved away and he was met with the heated gaze of his brother.

“They were talking shit about Donnie,” Raphael’s voice was level but the intense rage was still there. “Those bastards were laughing about how ‘easy’ it was. And you…” He paces, his hands twitching from the pure anger coursing through him. He turns back to Leonardo and points at him accusingly. “You always preach that Bushido honor crap but what do you do? You run! You run when some fuckers are degrading our brother.”

“What good would it do?” Leonardo gets chest to chest with Raphael. His voice low and authoritative. “Do you really think we could have taken them Raph? We’re not in the right mind, especially you. We’re all still grieving but we can’t let our emotions get the better of us. When you get angry like that you don’t think. You’re reckless.” Raphael shoves Leonardo away.

“I would have gladly fought them for Donnie. At least I’m not coward.”

    Raphael kept up his assault as he imagined he was fighting Leo. “Who does he think he is?! Fearless leader my ass!” The thudding of punches echoed through the dojo walls. “Why did Master Splinter even make him leader? He’s so fucking smug and critical!” He imagined what it would be like having anyone else as a leader. Mikey was too easy going and easily distracted. He himself was too impulsive, he could agree to this sometimes.

The only other candidate would have been Donnie. He may have been annoying sometimes but that might be from hanging out with Mikey the most out of the brothers. Leo was too busy training while Raphael had little patience for the energetic turtle. Donnie was a saint in that department, sure he had his limits like everyone else but it took a lot to get him there. The patience of a leader and the wisdom. If any of them needed advice they either went to Master Splinter or Donatello. He had the traits of a leader but the best he could get was the right-hand man to Leonardo.

He deserved so much better than this. He deserved to live a long life. Get a girl and possibly have a family. These things were unlikely to happen but now he can’t even try. He’s gone because of some fucker thought it would be funny. He’s gone and he wasn’t coming back.

    Raphael stopped, he was breathing heavily as he tried to calm his erratic heart. As his angry haze began to leave him he noticed a soft sound, like raw rice grains being poured into a bowl.

Sand was coming out of the rip his sais made in the punching bag, falling to the floor in a small pile at his feet. He sighs and takes the damaged equipment down and puts it in a corner with other punching bags in a similar condition. Raphael re-wraps his hands and sets up another punching bag.

Ready to start the process over again.

“Anger is the emotion we use to avoid more uncomfortable feelings: confusion, fear, sadness.”

Chapter 1: Here

Chapter 2: <3

[satireknight]

TMNT S02E11 - Teenagers from Dimension X

I’m having deja vu. I seem to remember reviewing this episode before... wait, no, that one had “Hot-rodding” in the title, so it’s otherwise completely different.

And yes, it’s time for more Neutrinos. Whee.

The Turtles are watching a monster movie, which of course prompts a discussion about movie romance, which somehow leads to a discussion about Kala, the Neutrino girl Michelangelo developed a crush on after exchanging maybe six words.

They also somehow managed to exchange glossy photos in the space of a few hours, most of which was spent saving the world and messing around at arcades. Yes, that still bugs me. I’m pedantic.

And then we cut back to the Neutrinos and ARRRGUUUGGGHHHH THEIR VOICES. Kala in particular sounds like a laryngitic who swallowed a dose of helium. They decide to go into the Technodrome for no particular reason except thrillseeking, and then start listening in on Krang’s messages.

It turns out he’s giving Shredder yet another device to deal with the Turtles, this being a Mental Neutralizer that will turn them into zombies. Mindless, that is, not rotting. And by the freakiest of coincidences, it is also functioning on the same frequency as the Neutrinos’ car.

So the Neutrinos open their own portal to Earth and zip on through, hoping to warn the Turtles.

Since they have no idea where the Turtles are... despite having been to their lair... the Neutrinos decide to buzz the Channel 6 building and get themselves noticed. Remember this in every future episode when people are skeptical or shocked by the idea of aliens.

Burne not unreasonably wants people to actually start filming the flying alien car outside the window, but April is busy going off to tell the Turtles what’s going on. Then she actually gets around to reporting what’s happening, even though the entire story is “There’s a car flying around our building.” 

Shredder, Rocksteady and Bebop all see the coverage and rush off to deal with the Neutrinos.

The Turtles arrive in their blimp and say hi, which is said with such enthusiasm that Raphael starts speaking in someone else’s voice.

But before they can finish talking, the Neutrinos are shot down by Shredder and kidnapped. The Turtles pursue, but somehow the glider just refuses to do what they want and they crash.

Michelangelo’s anxiety gets to the point where Splinter advises him to meditate, but that’s ruined when Donatello zooms in on a motorized skateboard. He’s also created a tracking device that can follow the Neutrinos by their extradimensional... auras. Whatever that means.

“... and it cost practically nothing to build.” Does that mean his inventions usually DO cost a lot? Actually, where do they get money from in the first place?

Meanwhile, Shredder flips out when he discovers the Neutrinos’ starmobile has the hypersignal similar to that of the Neutralizer, and demands that Rocksteady and Bebop get it. Problem is, it got towed. Yes, they actually towed an alien spacecraft, no joke.

Then the Turtles arrive, because Shredder made the mistake of saying “What else can go wrong?”

A fight breaks out and the Turtles aren’t doing too well, until Dask switches the power of the roller coaster on. Did I mention they’re at a defunct fairground? Anyway, Shredder and his mutants are temporarily carried off, which allows for more of Michelangelo acting all moony.

They then head to the auto impound yard... I still can’t believe that... to recover the Starmobile, and arrive just as Shredder does. In fact, they manage to drive directly over Raphael’s head, somehow, and then emerge from the ground without even glancing at him.

I almost feel sorry for Shredder. They’re not taking him seriously at ALL. So the Neutrinos and Turtles fly off in the starmobile, while Shredder quietly laments the unfairness of the universe.

However, it turns out the starmobile is broken: the trilithium crystal that powers it is cracked, meaning they’re stuck on Earth for the foreseeable future. I seem to remember trilithium being something highly explosive in Star Trek, but I’m pretty sure that came a bit later.

Please, make Kala stop talking. Her voice makes my throat have sympathy pains.

To fix it, they’d need a particle accelerator, and Leonardo happens to know the location of one. Um, it would be pushing it to have Donatello know, but Leonardo of all people just happens to know of one they can use? The Convenience Fairy is beating the plot with her wand.

So they land in a crappy, ruinous slum in the middle of nowhere, scuttle into an underground facility... and find a particle accelerator. Why not find the lost treasure of El Dorado at the same time? It seems equally likely.

So they put the crystal, which has shrunk to about half its former size, inside the particle accelerator and it starts getting all glowy. Too glowy, in fact! It’s gonna esplode!

Since Shredder currently has no way of knowing where anybody is, Krang calls him up and announces that the Turtles fixing the crystal created such an energy surge that it was detectable from Dimension X. Fuck. What exactly were they doing?

Oh, and remember that imminent explosion and radioactive cloud? Donatello stops it by pushing buttons really fast. Maybe it just chose not to blow up so it wouldn’t be subjected to more of Michelangelo acting like a dolt.

Oh, and Shredder gives us a supremely lame excuse for why there’s a particle accelerator in a craphole like this: because if it blew up, nobody would care what happened to the area. That’s... really... dumb. Then they’re confronted by a robot that eats up a precious five seconds of screen time.

Also, the crystal is now the size of a scone, whereas it was the size of an engine before.

Shredder breaks in and thankfully shoots everyone, saving me from more bad Neutrinos dialogue.

And as Leonardo keels over, his Turtle Com pops onto the floor and apparently autodials April. She knows they’re in mortal peril immediately, based on... I don’t know. Psychic powers.

Shredder piles the unconscious Turtles in the Starmobile, fixes the engine, and leaves the Neutrinos on the sidewalk, presumably to be raped and killed by the revenants who roam the wasteland.

Also, the crystal has now shrunk to the point where you can’t see it.

Unfortunately for me, the Neutrinos wake up and continue talking, and really, nothing highlights my point that Kala is practically a non-character like her dialogue. Everything she says in this episode is painfully obvious or filler masquerading as dialogue like “Maaaaaan, what a draaaaaaag.”

April shows up just then, and the Neutrinos have apparently forgotten all about her even though they met her when they were last on Earth. Continuity error or then being assholes? Either works.

April then reveals that the whole area is run by a gang called the Cyberpunks, who will add nothing to the episode and never be mentioned after it. They just provide a false sense of tension that the episode doesn’t need.

Meanwhile, the Turtles are waking up.

And Shredder chooses the single stupidest way to unveil a machine: have his minions SHOOT THE CRAP OFF OF IT. Because getting a tarp was just too much work, apparently. Cover it in garbage, and then fire lasers at it.

The Turtles aren’t feeling too positive about being put into something called a Neutralizer, especially when the phrase “brain drain” was used.

Meanwhile, April manages to crash into an overturned bus that was right in plain sight, so they have to escape the Cyberpunks by blinding them with a camera flash and jumping into the sewers. 

Shredder tries to activate the Starmobile, only to be immobilized with a forcefield of some kind. Yeah, whatever. At this point, I’m just craving the end of the episode.

The Turtles take this opportunity to slip out of the Neutralizer, possibly because Shredder didn’t bother to tie their legs together. And when Rocksteady and Bebop try to shoot them... wait, why didn’t they just try to kill them when they were unconscious? Anyway, the Turtles manage to free themselves by having the ropes shot off their bodies.

April and the Neutrinos show up just then, as do the Cyberpunks. The sight of the Cyberpunks is enough to send Shredder and his mutants scuttling away, and everyone else leaves in the Starmobile.

So everyone says their goodbyes, and Michelangelo gives the Neutrinos a pizza that burns their hands as they leave. And Raphael manages to cheer up Michelangelo by saying that a lack of a girlfriend means more pizza for him... am I really supposed to take this crush seriously?

VERDICT

Ever read a book or watch a movie where it’s painfully obvious that someone wasn’t contributing their A-game? That’s what this episode feels like. It feels like someone was given a basic outline of an episode, and they just sort of loosely tied everything together with a bunch of bad coincidental stuff that they didn’t care about. Exhibit A: that particle accelerator, which Leonardo - a guy who doesn’t really know anything about technology - happens to know of, which is completely abandoned and which happens to be in a spectacularly bad area. Nothing about this makes sense.

I’ve ranted before about the Neutrinos, but if anything, they’re even thinner here than they were in their debut. At least they don’t whine about adults and having fun, but you could easily combine all three of them into one character and you’d lose nothing, plotwise. In fact, Kala would literally have no reason to exist if it weren’t for Michelangelo’s crush on her... which isn’t even much of a crush, if that last line of his is any indication.

The Cyberpunks? Less than nothing. They aren’t even really an obstacle; you could literally erase them from the story, and nothing would really have to change.

The sad thing is that the beginning of the episode isn’t bad, despite the irritating voices. There was potential there. But once the crystal cracks, the entire story just sort of veers off into no-man’s-land and never comes back.

And seriously, the Turtles were unconscious and at Shredder’s mercy. Why didn’t he just kill them? 

Whew, been dreading this one. On to things that don’t bother me as much.

Grade: D